#IT HAD SO MANY YAN VIBES BUT FUCK. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A GREEN FLAG EMILY. I LOVE YOU

[faraway-archive]

In The Fox's Grasp

Yan!Fox x Immortal GN!Reader

Tw: yandere behavior, smut, mind corruption (being talked about), hints of manipulation

AN; This was made in relation to me making a new character which so happens to be a sly fox, and I made him into a yandere of course. His name is Kaiden, Kai for short.

✧༺♥༻✧

Your boyfriend couldn't help it, he just had to mark you and just take control over your body. It doesn't help that you've accepted to be his forever partner. Forever trap with him until the time ends (which means you and him are forever immortal). Now you're stuck here underneath him as he fucks you senseless. In his mind it seems like both are you are making love to each other, as partners should right? That's how he justifies it in his mind anyways. You would always lose to him and he would always have his way with you. There was nothing that could stop him or prevent him from making you his. No matter the amount of tear, pain or suffering you had to endure from him, he was determined.

His smiles terrify you, it looks so genuine but yet it gives off a controlling vibe. He had tried countless times to charm you and win you over naturally in the human world, but of course that didn't work with you. For whatever reason.

You tried to shake away the thought but it became difficult with his dick in you, phrasing you for taking him so well and making him feel so good. Ashamed at your body betraying you, you covered your face and tried to look away. Although it was hard with him right on top of you as he's just so immerse with your body. You felt so good to him and took him so well, he couldn't help it but keep going even though you are already worn out, while he still has yet to cum.

He chuckles at your attempt to hide yourself from him, even though that wasn't your intentions. It's so cute to see you squirm underneath him and taking his cock in you. He slowly leans to your neck and nibbles at it, making you jump and attempted to push him away. That wasn't going to work and why did you bother trying?

His cock felt so nice inside of you and just took up every inch in your hole. It felt so much better than a toy that's for sure. But you could never get use to his size no matter how many times he has made love to you. You can't get over his muscular hands as he moves them from all over your body, from your neck all the way down to your waist.

He enjoys seeing you go from being disgusted to being in pure lust for him. He loves the control that he has over you, even without his dick. It's so easy for you to submit to him as he knows every spot to make you feel good, like no other man has tried. He loves to hear you scream his name, to either hurry up and stop being slow or to stop being so fast and just hitting the right spots. He enjoys having your legs on his shoulders as he grabs your waist and forcibly fuck you senseless. It's so much for you that your legs began to shake again, you've lost count of how many times he has made you cum and how long it has past. You glance up at him and he makes eye contact with you, giving you a coy smirk as he knows what is about to happen. You shudder at his smirk and could only prepare for the intense pleasure he is going to bring to you.

Soon after that thought he slam right into your hole, tightly grabbing you waist and cums inside of you, meanwhile this isn't your first time cumming. You grab the bedsheets and moan as you arch your back, your legs shake as you slowly come down from the high. Painting heavily again as you try to calm yourself down and felt him slowly lay on top of you. His face in your neck has he takes a deep breath with your scent, he can't help but smile knowing how much control he has. Just a few more times he hopes and you will eventually break, becoming his own little toy to play with for the rest of eternity. Or maybe it would take a long time for you to break, but that doesn't matter to him at all. Because both you and him have the time in the world to do whatever you guys want. He will gladly use it to his advantage.

Sighing he slowly takes his dick out of your hold as you gasp from the sudden coldness. Craving that warm his dick gave you. He stands up and helps you move to the bathroom, to give you aftercare and to sooth any cramps or soreness you may have. He did go a bit harsh this time around compared to other times. That doesn't matter to him though because that means more time for the both of you to be together.

You will be his and he will eventually break your mind. It's only a matter of time before you give into him.

#: ̗̀➛ wet thoughts #yandere boy #male yandere #yandere lemons #yandere terato #yandere x reader #yandere boyfriend #gender nuetral reader #yandere fox #yandere smut #yandere hybrid #yandere imagines #yandere x you #mind corruption #monster smut #yandere nsft #x reader #smut #yandere #yandere oc

[killemwithkawaii]

I’m like. Okay. I’m not selfshipping with Sal because I don’t need to be adding more selfships and I haven’t even done my mha s/i but. I’m definitely thinking about it.

Also this entire blog is just,,, concentrated mental illness /pos (like I’m no different, pot to the kettle and all, right here with you bestie but it’s shocking at first lmao)

Also if it’s cool can I be 🌌 anon?

>Do iiit.... DOOOOO IIIIITTTTT (you know you wanna... you probably wouldn't be hanging around my blog if you didnt...~) >:3c

>Collect ALL THE FICTIONAL DATEMATES and make ALL THE S/Is 🌌 anon YOU👏DESERVE 👏IT 👏

>A mha s/i sounds like a lot of effort bc you gotta decide on a quirk and how that quirk would effect your physical appearance and personality and choose a badass hero (or villain) name and all that jazz, but since everyone in Sally Face are more or less '''regular''' people, your SF s/i could easily just be You, but a little to the left... you with like... a nifty jacket, or an unnatural hair color, or something. OR, you could go my route and divvy up your personality traits, aesthetics, mental illnesses and genders between like 6+ s/is you can select from based on your current irl preference/dopamine chase. No wrong way to do it, as long as you're having fun! uwu 👌

>"this entire blog is just,,, concentrated mental illness /pos" I was offended for like 0.3 seconds after reading that, but then I started WHEEZING and could not stop for like 5 minutes because you are absolutely Not Wrong lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (that's why my trigger warning tag list is do damn long sdlfjkaf) I'm glad you guys can bare witness to my BS and be like ' woah lol (same tho)'

>Thankfully, I'm feeling much better mentally than I have been in the past... few months... years, maybe...? It feels really good to finally be on the right track and be taking steps to get the help I need! :D

>While we're on the subject, I'm also very happy to report that it's looking like I WONT be having a depressive episode during Valentine Month February like i did last year, which is fucking awesome bc i don't want to miss out on the lovecore and yan >:3 vibes again. I just got back from the grocery store and seeing all the heart-shaped stuff had me feeling so many goods feels...~ 🥺👉👈💌💘🍬

>You have officially been added to the Anon Signoff Claim List! Welcome to the club, 🌌 anon~ 💖

#k.e.w.k. answers #🌌 anon #tw mental illness #i am very much welcoming asks that are not requests/prompts rn #I have a hankering for chit chat and some good old fashioned gushes #talk to me guys whats up spill it to senpai uwu ☕

[touchmycoat]

cnovel!anon: yeah, I have to turn off my reality filter when reading the police cnovels. Under the Skin was a little better, I thought, probably because of tv censorship, in that the police generally did things more by the book (e.g., got warrants and evidence) and didn't act with impunity (the way they would in the novels). Ofc it came with a side of "the police are to serve the people" propaganda.

cnovel!anon: cont'd: probably why I don't read too many novels set in modern times (also because the slang is often a lot harder for me in modern novels). Hm, the lawyer novel sounds interesting - how are you enjoying it? I'll put it on my read next list - I just picked up ���進酒 from another rec list. What doesn't your mom like about Priest's stories?

--

Ye ye. Oh the slang is SO interesting I wanna read 全職高手 just to get that gamer lingo. Just casually watching the drama had me picking up some cool terms lmfao. I was like "what the fuck is 刷本" for a solid four episodes.

Lawyer novel is very fun!!!! It's literally a Xie Wen/Wen Shi modern/sci-fi lawyer!AU and I don't mean that in a bad way lolol. Yan Suizhi is Xie Wen with the unflappable elegance, smiles-beautifully-as-he-pokes-fun-at-you manners, and immovable core of ethics. Gu Yan is Wen Shi as the ardent yet super repressed student who has YSZ's teachings centered at the core of his practice but is very much his own man. Peak sexy 悶騷. If you finished Panguan with an itch for Xie Wen's side of the story this is a very interesting version of it. Their dynamic is 互懟, very fun and very dry, and it's the good flavor of 強強 with all the unspoken mutual trust and respect.

Since we're also talking police procedurals, the cases in this novel are a fascinating counterpoint? They very much only take place within the courtroom and clearly "ends" with the ruling. It's very strange to read this after the GUNS-CAR CHASE-DRUG LORDS-MURDER energy of Po Yun 1&2 and Under the Skin lolol but it's a cool change of pace?? Like, I've only seen maybe an episode or two of Suits. I've never engaged with courtroom procedurals before. (and I finally understand the thing from Brooklyn 99 about cops hating defense attorneys lol)

So I'm only on chapter 117 of 215, but I will comment that they get together...surprisingly quickly?? And I don't really know how that affects the pacing of the novel as a whole yet. One of the strengths of Panguan for me was definitely the mutual pacing of the plot/cases and their developing relationship. I don't think the novel is going to get worse and I don't necessarily want her to dangle the relationship in front of me the whole way through, but I am wondering if the second half of this novel is all just going to be about the cases-slash-where their relationship is going to develop from here.

Re: my mom and priest, my mom doesn't like her writing style hahahaha, and I think it's priest's sense of humor? My mom really likes Huai Shang's and Wu Zhe's writing and has remarked that MXTX's style is simplistic but she's still a fan. My guess is that she really doesn't vibe with priest's "your mama's ass" style of sarcasm kjksjdfkjsdfk

將進酒!!!! that's caught my eye 'cause i'm a slut for the poetry reference lmao how is it!!!!!!!! eyes emoji eyes emoji eyes emoji

#mu su li #yjls #anon #asks #cnovels

[merakiui]

Okay okay okay I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now here’s my list of genshin boys most likely to least likely to become a yandere and why:

-xiao. Millennia of suffering and he meets somebody who makes the pain dissipate? Hell never let go.

-diluc. People have died in his arms, he can’t risk losing another loved one... it’s not like he doesn’t have the wealth and resources to keep his beloved by his side.

-Childe. I think he’d be the most dehumanizing yandere - he treats you almost like a child (haha) as be manipulates his way into your heart. And god knows that he gets what he wants.

-albedo is obviously in the top half of this list. We’ve talked about his yandere tendacies before so I won’t relist them but jeez get this boy some therapy.

-razor. Now this sounds surprising but after years of protecting his Lupical, do you really think he’d let somebody he loves and sees as helpless wander alone? I feel hes less captor and manipulative and more of a stalker if he becomes a yandere

-venti. Freedom is his entire world, but can he let his beloved have freedom if it endangers them? One of the most manipulative ones on this list, except he has no clue that he’s doing it.

-kaeya. Maybe you’d gotten to close to one of his secrets. Maybe you’d figured out something he wanted to die. It doesn’t matter much now, all you know is that you were tried and declared guilty by the knights of favonius and were sent into a dungeon protected by the Calvery captain himself.

-zhongli. Has the yandere desires, but refuses to give in. He’s loved and lost so many times over the years and he figures he doesn’t want to take that away from his beloved.

-chongyun. I’ve gone back and forth between him and xingqiu for this one, but I feel like these last 3 are all pretty much tied for not being a yandere. However, if he met someone who could somehow null his congenital positivity than he might move up on this list...

-Xingqiu. He has a strong sense of justice and honor, the idea of manipulating, stalking or god forbid kidnapping his S/O is appalling to him.

-Bennett. Literally just tryna vibe. Devotes as much time as he can to make sure any relationship he has is healthy.

So basically:

Everybody on this list: *frothing at the mouth, thinking of ways to keep their S/Os with them*

Bennett, Chongyun, Xingqiu and to some extent Zhongli: what the fuck

Your list... Simply amazing. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m beginning to wonder where other characters would sit on the list. Mainly Scaramouche though aha oops Anyways, please never stop sharing your thoughts!! They are so GOOD!

Xiao’s backstory and past is just perfect material to fuel his yandere desires. He’s suffered for so long and has never really experienced positive emotions, let alone love itself. The poor adeptus is always brooding on his own and here comes his darling, bright and happy and just...perfect. They’re like a glimmering star in his murky darkness and he wants to treasure them. There’s no way he’s going to let go of the feeling he gets when he’s with them, nor is he going to let them leave his side.

It makes sense that Diluc would also be at the top of that list. He’s got the making of a yandere, especially considering all of the people he’s lost in his life. Now that he’s found someone so important to him, he can’t risk losing them. It would destroy him if he found out that his darling got hurt or was even killed because he wasn’t taking enough precautions to keep them safe. He’d definitely blame himself if something like that happened.

Childe, pspspspsp!!! The power this man holds... Omg he makes for such a terrifying yandere. On the outside, he seems warm and disarming—just your normal, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. He’s not dangerous at all! No way. But under all of that falsified charm is someone who knows how to pull strings. He’s a Fatui Harbinger, so of course he has the means of getting you wrapped around his finger. It’s not all that hard when he’s got money, power, and strength. Plus, when he wants something he’s not going to stop until he acquires it; Childe lives for the thrill of chasing after you and it’ll be even more fun once he catches you. Someone should send me more thoughts about yan!Childe!!! orz orz

Albedo also qualifies as a neat yandere! Something about yanderes who are into science is just...fascinating to me. It’s also cool because Albedo’s rumored to be a homunculus, so that adds to the intrigue! Albedo has the resources to get what he wants as well. It won’t be all that difficult, and if it proves to be challenging he can just think of other solutions to pacify his darling. He is a researcher, after all, and a good researcher seeks to find the best solution to a problem.

Razor would be a feral yandere. He’s more action than words. He doesn’t put much thought into what he does because it feels more like an instinct to him. He’s just protecting his Lupical. There’s nothing wrong with that! So why are you acting so difficult? D: 

Like you said, Venti’s not aware of his manipulation and he just does it because it works. His belief that everyone deserves freedom is probably what really holds him back. He doesn’t want you to feel caged, but that feeling is practically inevitable since he’s always hounding you. Venti is a very suffocating yandere and he doesn’t even realize it.

KAEYA! KAEYA! I love the idea of Kaeya having some sort of blackmail on you—something so bad that you absolutely can’t let the world see. And so he uses that to keep you quiet. If you did stumble upon one of his secrets, he can’t possibly have you running that pretty mouth of yours. But if you do end up spilling his secret, it’s only fair that he shares yours, right? An eye for an eye, as some would say. Kaeya’s very smooth and calculative when it comes to handling blackmail. Whenever it feels like you’re trying to one-up him and possibly escape, he’ll flirtatiously remind you of the power he holds over you. Blackmail is rather compelling, is it not?

Zhongli does have the motive to be a yandere, as you pointed out, but he’s a strange case. On one hand, it makes sense that he’d want to protect his beloved at all costs, but on the other he’d probably be aware of these unhealthy tendencies. Although he probably uses the idea of a contract to keep your relationship going, even if it’s clear you don’t want anything to do with him. But if you do, that just makes it easier on him! 

NO BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE SAME FOR CHONGYUN!!! Not the yan!Chongyun piece rotting in my drafts for a month or two now ehehee I had some thoughts about Chongyun but never bothered posting it for some reason. Anyways, I do think Chongyun has potential to be a yandere! As you mentioned, his congenital positivity can become an issue and he doesn’t want that to seriously affect his daily life. So he’s probably very pleased to find someone who can nullify that positivity. It’d be similar to Xiao’s case; Xiao likes someone who can be the light in his dark world. Chongyun falls for the person who can null his congenital positivity and is someone who he gets along with. 

The only way I can see Xingqiu being a yandere is if he wants a noble, storybook romance. Okay, that sounds strange, but consider it! He’s a huge bookworm who probably doesn’t exactly experience romance aside from what he reads in his novels. Although he doesn’t dabble in the romance genre all that often, he does like the idea of being a hero and sweeping someone off of their feet. So when he meets you—another fellow bookworm or maybe the two of you are thrown into an arranged marriage—he just feels an undeniable connection. This must be some form of fate or a sixth sense. Maybe he can be the main character of his own story! You’ll just have to cooperate and you can be the valiant knight’s love interest!

Bennett’s vibes are so nice. How could he be a yandere? He’s just too sweet and pure. He’s really just here to chill and gather an adventuring team full of great friends! But if anyone has any thoughts...please share them! 

That’s it. I’m writing about Scaramouche even though he’s not on the list. Please, why do I simp so much for him? Anyways, we don’t know nearly enough about Scaramouche to determine his backstory or past. But he just oozes yandere! Most of the Harbingers are probably the same, to some extent. He’s like Childe with all of the power and resources, but whereas Childe relishes in the chase Scaramouche refuses to put up with it. It’s just way too inconvenient for him. He’d rather catch you when you least expect it and then keep you for himself.

Gosh, he’s a very determined and possessive yandere with a strict agenda; this man probably cheats in order to get you. He’ll send his underlings to do the work in his place. They’ll stalk you and report back to him and it isn’t long before he learns of your friends, certain family members you’re close to, and even where you live. It’s terrifying, but this is Scaramouche we’re talking about. For someone so short, he sure knows how to intimidate and beat fear into those below him. Good luck to the poor soul who catches his eye. 

I must thank you for making that list! It was lots of fun to consider their mindsets and behaviors as yandere. :D

#chit chat #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere xiao #yandere diluc #yandere childe #yandere albedo #yandere razor #yandere venti #yandere kaeya #yandere zhongli #yandere chongyun #yandere xingqiu #genshin impact bennett #yandere scaramouche #yandere x reader #this was so fun to write about #xenia-cenia #your brain is galaxy level

[brivetaroundtown]

To say that I am nervous about posting my writing onto the internet is an understatement.

But the lovely and extremely talented @lumos-flies has inspired me to do so after working with me on making my Villain Denki brain rot a reality. So this is a part 2 to that.

Link to "About Last Night" also a Link to KoFi because their work is impeccable

Denki Kaminari x F! Reader

+18 Minors DNI

TW: Overstim, electricity play, use of Puppy as a pet name, slight possessive yan vibes if you squint. That’s really all I could think of, if someone catches more PLEASE let me know!

___________________________________________________________

It has been 2 weeks, 5 hours, and a quick glance at the clock shows 30 minutes since that text from Denki. Not that you were keeping track or anything. No, you were perfectly capable of living your life as normal all while knowing that the best sex of your life was had with the infamous Chargebolt.

“Miss me?”

That the same electric quirk that lit your body up like the grand finale New Year firework display was also capable of leveling a city block. Those hands that stoked such euphoria from your body that you could still feel him on a cellular level, were also the hands responsible for the death of hundreds. And you, a grown capable woman was going to work and living your life as normally as possible in this crazy city. You weren’t still obsessing over the idea of texting Denki back, or having flashbacks to that night while alone with yourself at night… or in the shower… or hell even currently riding this elevator at work down to the first floor so you can start your walk back home. The memory of Denki’s head between your thighs as electric sparks swirled across his tongue wasn’t plaguing your every waking moment.

Too bad you were a terrible liar, even, maybe especially to yourself.

How demented was it that him becoming a villain turned you on more? Was it the risk? As if living in this city without quirk wasn’t risky enough in and of itself, you were now fantasizing about a villain?! Granted, the fantasies were based on a very real encounter but still. You should probably speak to a therapist, but were also concerned that they would be legally obligated to tell the authorities. You would be the worst bait, after all you couldn’t even lie to yourself.

You don’t even remember making it back to your apartment. So caught up in your own thoughts you must have walked the whole way on autopilot. Which is a shame, because thoughts like those required wine and you cant remember if your roommate remembered to add it to the lis… thoughts halted abruptly by the current obsession leaning against your door.

Are hallucinations a common symptom of sexual frustration? Why would he be here? As you stare at the blonde casually leaning against the frame, slight smirk gracing his face as Denki takes in your presence.

“Hey Puppy, long time no see” his voice ran through you, sparking along your spine, further fanning the dark need inside of you. Yet you couldn’t say a word, too shocked that he was here, in the flesh.

“You know, you should probably let me in. Wouldn’t want your neighbors to call the cops. Bakugo is real big on property damage. I think he gets off on it.” Denki’s smirk deepens into a grin at your blanched expression. Its not fair that someone so evil can make a grin look that sexy. Spurred on by the fear of others seeing him does rush you into action, urging him inside your apartment.

Before you can even ask what he was doing there or how he found out where you lived, Denki had your back against a wall with his face shoved between your neck and shoulder.

“J..just give me a minute”

The vulnerability of the moment had you forgetting all the news segments and every other thought in your head. Your arms reacted on their own accord, wrapping tightly around him, stroking his back to offer comfort. As if this was a completely normal situation, and not the fucked up one that was your reality. This softness did not last long. It started with soft kisses, that turned to a quick nibble, and paused with a whispered “You should say no now, this is your only out”. Your voice responded without any input from your conscience or logic with a desperately whispered “please.”

Denki let out a growl, pulling your body roughly against his, already feeling sparks of heat through your work shirt while his teeth bit into the softness of your neck. You knew that you said yes to something more than just another night, but as Denki lifted you your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to your room, you were not really sure that you cared. As the buttons from your blouse snapped and landed on the floor, with every rip and tear of thread as Denki rushed to see your skin, you let the world know with every moan and gasp that fell from your lips, how willing you were to fall into this sin.

“Watch me” You had not even realized your eyes had closed, Denki was still dressed, though he had lost his jacket to the floor. Your clothes were in tatters around you, naked and vulnerable sitting on top of your comforter at the edge of your bed. Now that he had your full attention, Denki traced his fingers from your neck to each of your pert nipples, the electricity from his fingertips shocking you as he traced your body. Claiming every cell as his lighting danced along your skin leaving no inch of it untouched. You would never be the same, but you should have known that from the last time. Possessiveness filled his yellow eyes, trapping you in their depths. You couldn’t look away, even if you wanted too.

“Do you know how many times I have thought about this body of yours puppy?” With each words his fingers traced lower down your stomach, the other hand tightening its grip on your thigh. “Almost constantly. You not messaging me back stung a little bit though” the electricity went a little sharp on the word stung, ripping out a whimper from your lips, before it returned to the pleasing level of heat that you went wet for, the reality being so much better than the memory. You did dare to speak back though, voice thick with lust “you didn’t text back for the longest time either.” The words may have been whispered but they did not go unnoticed by Denki. With a crooked grin, he pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, forcing your thighs apart so that his body could stand between them.

“So my puppy did miss me” his teeth nibbled along your jaw, drawing out a moan as he made his way to your sensitive ears “don’t worry Y/N, you won’t have to miss me anymore.” With those words sealing your fate, Denki drops to his knees pressing his lips against your wet cunt. “Keep those eyes on me puppy, and those hands to the bed. Want to be a good girl for me dontcha?”

All it took was a nod from you before his tongue was licking along the seam, teasingly dipping into your folds, only using the tip of his tongue to flick over your sensitive clit. “Already so wet for me puppy” the words vibrated through your core, as his tongue kept tracing a path from your folds to your clit and back. You were so close to the edge of bliss already, just a bit more pressure and you would… the scream that came out of your throat your orgasm ripping through you at Denki’s sudden use of this quirk on your clit caught all of your senses by surprise.

Denki chuckled against your core, the flat of his tongue against your clit riding you through the pleasure. Kissing your clit, shocks electricity still coming from his mouth, he gave no warning when he plunged two of his fingers into your clenching depths, instantly finding that special spot within you. As if he had a map. Which really wasn’t fair, especially as he released more shocks against your clit and spot in tandem, ripping another orgasm from your body in quick succession. Your conscience never stood a chance when Denki had claimed every nerve, every thought, every breathe.

Licking his lips, Denki rose to his feet so that he stood between your thighs. Grabbing your chin with one hand while releasing his dick from his pants with the other, never breaking eye contact. “Y/N” your name like a prayer on his tongue as he nudged your clit with the head of his dick, his hand stroking himself as he used your slick. “I am taking you with me puppy, wont need anyone but me” and with those words he pushed inside of you, moving his hands to your waist to pull you even closer.

Shocks from his quirk along with the way he slammed himself into your cervix, eyes still locked together had you coming undone around his cock. Fucked dumb, you don’t even remember gripping onto his shoulders, “you know puppy” Denki groans into your ears “your hands were supposed to stay on the bed. But don’t worry baby, we got time to train you on how to be a good girl for me later.” His voice in your ear combined with the relentless pounding into you, electricity dancing in and around your body, wrapping around you like hands had you coming again. Your eyes rolling back, whimpering at the blend of pain and pleasure, not sure how long you were going to be able to grasp consciousness.

You weren’t even completely done with the orgasm rolling through you before you felt the next one building. Denki was like the fucking energizer puppy, as you fluttered and gripped around his cock he started to pound faster, something you weren’t even sure was possible.

“Go on puppy, give me one more”

The fabric of his shirt against your nipples, his teeth and lips marking your neck and shoulders, your body electric with the waves of yellow lighting shocking against your skin at his every touch had your final orgasm exploding within you. Body alive with the white shock of blinding pleasure you barely registered Denki whispering your name or the feeling of his warm cum painting your inner walls. All you could register was the softness of your comforter against your back as you fell against it, darkness blurring your vision as you succumbed to sleep, and the whispered promise.

“I am taking you with me.”

#villain denki #overstimulation #BrivetWritings #mha x reader smut #denki x reader #Brivet Writings #Brivet Filth

[yanderecandystore]

may i please get a small fic about the loveshrooms?

I didn't expect anyone to like the idea, but I'm so glad you did!

I was going to bring a Yan Bakugou into the mix but- I felt like I could end up disappointing you in a way so I'll just leave it as a ambiguous character, what do you think?

Also, love shrooms is actually a really good name lol!

TW/Tags: loss of sanity and mentions of depressive thoughts // fungal contamination and mentions of diseases (and quarantine) // none gender specific (neither the reader or the character mentioned have their gender assigned) // touch starving // victim blaming mentality.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

In need of help [Yandere!Virus/Fungus x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

They were laying in their bed, wondering what the hell was happening with their body. It's been a week since they started to feel this way, endless headaches, hot burning skin temperature yet a feeling of always being cold dominated them, as if they were naked in the middle of a blizzard.

One day they started feeling dizzy while they were at work, so their boss has told them to go back home and rest, and they haven't gone back to their jobs in a full week because of some random sickness they got!

That's what they thought back then, they thought that this was all just a little flu that had ruined their days, but no, it turned out to be something completely more different than that.

They have heard about some sort of disease outbreak happening in their town, something that was still fairly new and mysterious to even the highest of doctors and world leaders. It was so sudden, out of nowhere people started to show symptoms of some sort of new illness, something that develops slowly yet quietly.

The contaminated would feel all that they were feeling right now, if not worse, since a lot of contaminated have shown some weird aggressive behavior randomly. Those that were contaminated were told to limit their contact with other people, some were privileged enough to be able to stay in hospitals receiving professional care, but they couldn't do that, they didn't want to believe that they were contaminated by some stupid looking fungus.

They just… Really, really didn't want to see a doctor, even if the symptoms are getting worse and worse, something forced them to keep their mouth shut. They didn't want to go to a hospital, they didn't want any doctors or scientists experimenting on them, they didn't want to be trapped inside that pearly white hell.

They heard rumours about servers experiments being done inside each hospital available, which caused the contaminated to get even more desperate to get out of there.

The thing is, no one knows if the contaminated were the ones who had decided that they didn't want to stay there, or if something else was dictating that decision.

Apparently, the cause of such distress was a little mushroom species that have only been discovered after the first incident happened. An incident where the first contaminated to fully develop the parasite had attacked someone in the streets (well, allegedly attacked, since there is no proof of the guy actually hurting someone, but it doesn't matter now since he was eliminated before he could attack someone). After that the contamination had spread wildly, it was as if the existence of such a dangerous thing had just been announced and out of nowhere, the damn thing had taken a hold of people's lives.

In one second everything was fine, and then in the next they were stuck at home, feeling hopeless. At least they don't have to be the lab rat of some crazy doctor and scientist. Until now, it has been pretty easy to hide the fact they were contaminated, key words being "until now", guess what happened?

"- Fucking- itchy fungus." They yelled as they continued to scratch their itchy arms, there were visible pink and red blotches around them, and on top of that they were now hurting because of how much force they were using on their itchy arms.

They have learned that it takes too many weeks for it to develop marks around the contaminated bodies, and that the mushrooms spread and thrive in cold habitats.

And guess who was the idiot that has come back from hiking in a snowy forest about two weeks ago? Yeah that 's right! This imbecile right here!

"- Ugh, what the hell do you want from me?" It's been three days since they started talking with the fungus growing inside them, since they noticed that indeed, the fucking thing comprehends human communication somehow.

Or maybe they were just insane.

This was basically an everyday routine, the mushroom would get agitated, they would ask it what it wanted, and in a brilliant moment of concentration they would remember exactly what the mushroom wanted.

"- Pizza again? Come on, you're going to make me spend all of my savings on some lackluster pizza?" They said while looking at their colorful arms, they needed to cover them if they wanted to see anyone else soon.

You see, ever since they started to stay inside their house to not spread the contamination, they have been ordering pizza at a very terrible place that sold only the most boring pizza they could have ever eaten. No flavor at a cheap prize!

It seemed like the stupid fungus had taken a liking to the terrible taste of nothingness, so they had decided to obliged with the fungus wishes.

"- Stupid parasite, you're lucky I can't beat you for making me waste so much in daily deliveries." They continued to be grumpy about it as they put some clothes on, normally they love to spend their time alone naked, and apparently the fungus also agreed with the decision. What? It's their apartment, they can be naked if they want.

They took their phone and typed the number to the pizzeria, well, at least they never take too long to deliver their mediocre pizza.

"- Hi, it's Anthony's Pizzeria, how can I help you?" They heard a familiar voice come from the other side of the call.

Oh.

"- What-!" They yelped, almost causing the call to accidentally end right there and then.

It's you, it's your voice! They know it it's, they are sure of it!

"- … Uhn, hey, are you okay-"

"- I'm f-fine, sorry!" They have interrupted your question, they were so caught up about your voice that they forgot to order the pizza.

Oh but your voice! Your voice was so different in the call than in real life, it's so… Interesting! Yeah, that's surely the word they were looking for!

They have called so many times yet this was the first time you were the one to pick up! They guess that because of the contamination and quarantine stuff going on, they were low on staff and you were the one receiving the orders.

After all, you were the only person that worked there that would deliver their pizza every single time. It became such a normal thing that you two even know each other's names!

[Y/N], it's such a beautiful name, it fits the owner. Although they think you're pretty unlucky to have to work at a terrible place and also do deliveries to an unwelcoming neighborhood.

That's the reason why you're the one to always bring their pizza, it's because you're the only worker that they are willing to risk in such a terrible place. Fortunately, their only client around this area is them.

When they were about to finish their order, they asked if you were the one that was going to bring the pizza.

"- Yeah, it is me. You know, low on staff and all, why do you ask?" You ask them with that welcoming voice of yours. A hint of happiness graced your tone, you were happy that it was them ordering again.

Although you still think that their obsession with mediocre pizza is a little concerning, you ended up forming some sort of friendship with them. An odd one for sure, but you're still happy about it.

When you first met them, they would always give you some really scary vibes. They were so, well, cold and closed off. Never smiling, never giving tips, always in a terrible mood, etc.

But recently, they started to treat you with so much respect, even joking about your job with you. The first time you saw them smile, you thought you were seeing a completely different person.

You're still glad you found this new version of them. They look happier and you felt good for them. Maybe they have found their own happiness.

To hear your confirmation was the most exciting thing they could have heard all day! They were sulking in this disgusting room all day, yet hearing that you're coming makes them feel alive!

They can't even hide their excitement, you can hear them being happy and giggly over the idea of you coming over. Even if technically you're only coming there to deliver them their order and all.

When the call ends, they soon are brought back to reality. When they were talking to you, they felt like they were in the best place on Earth, yet when they looked around their apartment they could only observe the clues of a disgusting creature living in this dirty ass place without ever cleaning it, not even once.

It's a depressing sight, yet they have learned to deal with it. It was normal for them to be lazy and an absolute pig, although they are aware that even pigs are a lot cleaner than them.

They should at least take a shower before you come in.

And just as the idea of you being anywhere near them came into their mind, their personality had switched again, from a grumpy depressed loser to… to…

To whatever the hell they are right now!

Seriously, they were feeling like shit all day, yet at the moment the opportunity to see you comes up, they feel like their day it's already 100 times better!

They feel their heart pounding at an incredible passing, the water of the shower hitting their skin helping their temperature to cook down. They don't even feel so cold anymore, they feel- Powerful!

They feel better than the last time they saw you, which was yesterday, so it doesn't even make sense for them to miss your presence the way that they do, but still!

Apparently even the fungus seemed to be happier about this situation, as their arms weren't itchy at all and the headache they were feeling seemed to have stopped.

They thought the thing was only awaiting its meal, as all living creatures do when faced with the opportunity to get food without any efforts put into it.

It was as if the motive to actually fix a little bit of this place had suddenly appeared at the mention of your arrival! It was uncommon for them to do such a thing, even for a guest, and their neighbors can testify.

Not that they would want to be involved in their life either way, their neighbors know how unpleasant they can be, even to those that live near them.

To think your presence has such an impact on them and their life, even though they never experienced anything like this before, their sudden change in mood never really crossed their minds as being bad or unconventional. It just… Happens.

And- It doesn't feel bad at all.

Maybe this lonely loser is finally understanding the importance of healthy social interactions! Good for them?!

After getting out of the shower and putting their clothes back on, they straight up jump out of the bathroom to complete their next task, which was making their apartment seem a little more *pleasant", at least for someone that was looking at it from the other side of their door.

But before they could do much, their apartment bell rang and you called them from the other side of the door. You did something, however, that would soon be proven to be a bad decision.

You have decided to call them by their name instead of the usual "your pizza is here" or whatever the hell you used to scream so the customers could hear. You thought that you had spent enough time with them to be able to use their name in a friendly manner, which was nothing wrong with that, dearest! Is just that-

They haven't been able to hear people say their name in such a friendly way in a long, long time. It's both refreshing and terrifying how they craved that form of attention.

And what is just as terrifying is how fast they throw their body towards the door, like a desperate addicted trying to reach their dose of dopamine. But that comparison it's absurd, right? It has nothing to do with the current situation.

Oh no, wait-

"- [Y-Y/N]!? You came in e-earlier than I thought! How is everything going??" They would welcome you in, but the truth is that they haven't been able to finish all of the cleaning. Basically, they took all of the garbage that was in front of the door's view and put it deeper in their apartment.

Just like sweeping dirt under the rug, you were only able to see a moderately good looking apartment behind them, yet in reality, all of the dirty dishes and clothes that were previously laying around there, were now shoved under some tables in a desperate need to impress you.

Even if a little bit.

Because of how suddenly they opened the door and came into view, you got yourself a little spooked by the taller figure in front of you. They always looked pretty scary in your eyes, yet recently you started to notice that they have a softer side.

You can't help but associate them with big scary dogs, you guess that they only put some sort of facade to keep themselves appearing to be tough and strong and "scary". You can't lie that they got you pretty good the first time you met.

You answer them, telling how hard it has been to work in an awful pizzeria while the world is burning and a weird disease suddenly has been discovered out of nowhere. They tried their best to continue the small talk, yet it seemed like they didn't need to do much because soon enough you were babbling about your life.

They loved it, you were always so talkative, even to a complete stranger. They wanted to pay close attention to you and what you were saying yet they simply couldn't! Your presence was so overbearingly sweet that they thought they would have a heart attack!

I'm being serious though, their heart started to accelerate out of nowhere and a weird feeling started to arise inside their hearts. They felt so weird and uncomfortable because of the sudden sensations yet- It felt so good in a way.

They felt alive for once, they felt- They felt like they were capable of anything!

Yet they still felt like they needed something more than just… This, whatever the hell is giving them such a wonderful feeling. Could it really be you, the cause of such wonderful emotions to bloom?

Your skin looked so soft, your smile was so gentle even when you were focused on giving them their order, you looked like you cared for them so much that when you noticed their odd behavior you put your hand in their shoulder.

This one, simple little contact managed to get a hold of them and their thoughts, their breathing now way faster and frantic than before.

How long have they been without a human touch? They are pretty sure it wasn't long, yet they still feel… Shamefully needy.

They can't tell what's worse, trying to convince you that they were okay, or trying to convince themselves to not do something stupid. They didn't know what it was, but there was a suspicious feeling crawling up their spine, the feeling that if they didn't control themselves something bad could happen.

They lied of course, saying they were just- Dizzy and a little tired, that they were doing everything on auto pilot, and even if you end up believing them, the moment you take your hand away us the moment they regret not giving in to whatever odd urge they were having a couple of seconds ago.

You were soon about to leave, they didn't even notice that they were holding the pizza box and almost let it fall from their loose grip.

"- H-Hey, wait! [Y/N] I-" they sounded absolutely pathetic, they sounded desperate for your attention but at least it seemed like you didn't mind or simply didn't notice their tone of voice.

You were causing so much frustration yet you remained oblivious to their suffering.

"- Do you… Perhaps, want to hangout later? I-If you're not busy, of course…." They sounded like a teenager who just confessed their crush on someone, well, if they were trying in that situation, normally the other person would at least be aware of their feelings.

But no, of course they aren't and of course you only see their offer as a way to call you for a friendly date.

People sweet and naive like you used to get on their nerves, they used to ignore your type of person yet-

Here they are! Being pathetic and stuttering, the only good thing to come out of this interaction was that you accepted their offer.

At least you're kind enough to accept to meet this poor thing again in a more private scenario. Not in your daily "customer and worker" type of interaction.

And as your form goes away at each step you take, the intrusive thoughts start to come in again. Those thoughts, those pains from earlier, everything was starting to get back.

It really does seem like you're the cause for their problems. Their headaches, their low self-esteem thoughts, the stupid fungus itching their skin, all of that was your fault… Somehow.

In someway or another you were the one that would always show up in their dreams, in their intrusive thoughts. They closed the door to their apartment while slowly placing the pizza on their coffee table, since now their mind was starting to come up with the solution to their daily pains.

This is not about pizza, this is about you! About how you consume their mind, even when you aren't present.

Although, every time you're near them, they feel so much better, like all of their issues have gone away.

That 's it! You're not only the source of their problems, but also the solution! Oh, that 's perfect! They know exactly what they need to do to make sure you cure them.

Yeah… YEAH! YES! They won't need to suffer every day waiting for the next time to see you, they can simply have you by their side, right??!

Please, please tell them, please tell this mad person that you'll cure them of the same thing you contaminated them with!!

Please… They feel so, so cold and lonely. Their only company is a parasite who seems to agree with this person's mad, delusional thoughts.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #sheep stuff #sheep's stuff #yandere x reader #yandere fanfics #yandere fanfic #yandere short fanfiction #yandere virus #yandere mushroom #yandere zombie #special delivery request #special delivery short fanfiction

[heavencollins]

Top 10 Films of 2020: Part One

2020 was a rough year for a lot of reasons, but even more rough due to the lack of an existent film industry for over half of the year.  Sure, there are small productions happening and movies being released on VOD, as well as some in theatres, but so many great films were pushed back this year—movies I was excited to possibly have on my top ten.  Minari, Promising Young Woman, Zola, The Green Knight, Saint Maud.  Okay most of those are A24 releases but A24 literally released next to none of their slate for this year and it’s one of the most disappointing things to happen in the entertainment industry in my opinion.  

Alas, I still found cinema through streaming, paying $20 for a VOD rental, and those amazing $1.80 rentals from Redbox (remember when they were only a dollar?  because I do).  And honestly?  It was probably the hardest time curating a top ten that I’ve had in a long time; with so much just available through the internet and owning every single popular streaming service, it was both impossible to watch everything I wanted but also since I watched a lot of what i wanted, I ended up loving most of it.  For a year that was so dismal in every other way possible, the films that were released ended up being a shining light more often than not.  Of course, like every other year, a lot of hot garbage came out too, but that isn’t the focus of this—the great, amazing, can’t believe these are real films.  

So let’s start from number ten.  This was my first and only $20 rental this year, starring a man who I personally admire: Pete Davidson.  

10. The King Of Staten Island, directed by Judd Apatow and written by Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, and Dave Sirus.  

Judd Apatow is one of the first directors who I watched religiously, and hearing that he was doing a film with Pete Davidson that was essentially based on Davidson’s life meant that I knew I’d have to watch it.  Scott, played by Davidson, is a twenty-something with no direct path in life; he lives with his mother, his sister is going off to college—something he never attempted—and he has no real career.  His father died in a large building structure fire, much like Davidson’s actual father, a firefighter who passed away while responding to the twin towers during 9/11.  Scott is emotionally a wreck, plagued with depression and anxiety, a chronic weed smoker, and dreams of being a tattoo artist that he practices by tattooing his group of rag-tag friends, but none of the tattoos are very great.  

The thing about an Apatow film is they border the line between comedy and drama very well, kind of a complicated little dance.  But, King of Staten Island is very much a drama more than a comedy.  Bill Burr plays Ray, the father of a kid that Scott tattoos earlier on in the film.  Ray comes stomping up to Scott’s mother’s house, and Margie, played by Marissa Tomei, opens the door.  It’s essentially love at first sight.  She hasn’t dated since Scott’s father passed, and to make matters worse, Ray is also a firefighter.  This complicates emotions for Scott, as he loves his mother but also doesn’t know how to deal with the feeling that his mother is finally moving on and may face heartbreak again.  

Davidson puts it all on the table in this film.  It’s poignant and realistic; at the start, Scott is driving down the highway and closes his eyes, way longer than you should.  It sets the tone from the start that this man isn’t okay, but also he’s scared of dying because as soon as he opens his eyes again and sees he may be about to crash, he quickly panics and readjusts his wheel.  This struck a chord with me as most people know that Davidson has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past.  It’s a beautiful film that memorializes both how much Davidson’s father meant to him, but also the cycles of grief and trauma that last throughout your life.  

9: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), directed by Cathy Yan and written by Christina Hodson.

Suicide Squad is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  Birds of Prey is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  I never, ever, ever thought I’d see a day where a DC movie was in my top ten, but this year anything is possible.  Birds of Prey is a display of feminism, badassery, and all around perfection.  You jump right into the story, hearing Margot Robbie’s classic Harley Quinn voice laid over an animation showing what we missed in her life so far, which means you don’t have to have any previous knowledge of the other films.  Birds of Prey is meant to stand alone from any other movie preceding this one, and that’s just part of why it’s so great.

This film knows not to take itself too seriously.  Margot Robbie is a dream as Harley Quinn, using just the right amount of playfulness to put a little edge on her, while also maintaining the manic-panic-pixie-dream-girl effect.  Perhaps the best scene is when Harley goes and purchases the perfect egg breakfast sandwich, and then she drops it, causing a dramatic slow motion effect that proves she really does love that sandwich more than anything in the world.  Or her realistic apartment, nothing truly fancy, just a little hole in the wall above a rundown Chinese restaurant.  But then she has an amazing ensemble of other women actors around her, which are what really uplift her performance. 

The funhouse fight scene at the end may be the best in superhero movie history.  I mean, I guess, is Harley Quinn really a superhero?  She’s kind of the anti-hero, which is what makes her so great.  She’s somebody who isn’t even close to perfect but she still succeeds and tries to help and uplift the other women on her team.  There’s just something special about this movie that made me smile and laugh the entire time.  It’s a reminder that it’s okay to have fun every once in a while.  

8: The Assistant, directed and written by Kitty Green.

For those who don’t know, I work as an assistant during the day for a small business here in Vermont.  The work is mundane but it’s a job that’s giving me experience for the future.  In The Assistant, Jane, played by Julia Garner, is an assistant to a “powerful entertainment mogul.”  She gets lunch, answers phones, is the first one into the office, the last one out of the office, finds herself overshadowed by her male counterparts and getting the majority of the “grunt” work, and becomes more and more aware of what’s really going on at this office throughout a day in her life.  

What’s interesting about this film is nothing is ever seen; everything Jane starts to feel is just based on intuition.  Her boss is tricky, finding ways to keep his abuse of women out of the public eye, out of the eye of any female employees.  This is obviously in response to #MeToo, Times Up, and the Harvey Weinstein news from the last few years, and it works surprisingly well as a film that just unnerves you and gets under your skin.  

The reality of assault in the film industry is that until it’s widely public and known, nobody is going to know about it.  You can report it to your company, to other women, to other men, to anybody, and nobody will take you seriously until they either experience it themselves or know somebody else who has.  The Assistant hits the ball out of the park with the ending, even if it doesn’t give a vindictive satisfaction to viewers, because it’s simply the truth of the matter.  

7: Tenet, directed and written by Christopher Nolan.

I really don’t know what to say about this one.  It’s really controversial to like it but I absolutely LOVED this movie, it’s pure fucking vibes.  A lot of people are cinema purists, which I am not, and will never claim to be, which was a huge deal with this film.  Personally, this works way better at home than it ever would in a theater.  It’s slightly long, the sound mixing makes it so it can be hard to hear dialogue over loud noises and the score, and it’s the type of movie you may have to rewind  a few times.  

My partner and I watched this in 4K Ultra HD with subtitles on, and let me tell you, it was amazing.  Everything about the acting, the diversity in the film, the fact that Nolan literally has a character say “Don’t try to understand it, just experience it”???? VIBES.  That’s all I can say about it.  Plus, Elizabeth Debicki plays an actual badass who stands against her abuser and that enough is five stars.  A tall queen standing up against her short joker—absolute feminism.  

Sure, no character gets any development, but is that seriously necessary for every film?  It’s an action flick about time and space and none of it makes sense and you can’t force it to.  Why does everything need to make sense in a time where we are literally living through a pandemic?  Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience of Tenet.  It’s more fun when you don’t take it seriously.  

6: The Devil All The Time, directed by Antonio Campos and written by Antonio Campos, Donald Ray Pollock, and Paulo Campos.

I never read the book this was based on, but this film made me want to.  I love a film where multiple plot lines converge into one central story and this one did it so well, all with the same theme surrounding every single character: the guilt of sin and how no matter how much you think you can save yourself, you can’t truly save yourself.  I’m not a huge fan of Tom Holland, but he shines as Arvin from beginning to end.  Pattinson brings a creepy southern preacher to life with an accent that he will never be able to match again.  Keough gives a performance you can only sympathize with as you know she’s being manipulated the entire time.  Every character in this is corrupt in their own way but some in worse ways than others.

I don’t know how much to say about this one without spoiling it, either, because the core of this film is on the characters and what leads to their untimely ends, because pretty much everybody ends up dead.  It’s grim and dark but it’s so beautiful and tells the story in a way that keeps you interested throughout the entire run time.  It surprised me but there’s never truly been a Robert Pattinson starring movie that I’ve hated, so am I really surprised?  I’m a TwiHard at heart even at age 22. 

#birds of prey #harley quinn #the devil all the time #robert pattinson #tenet #christopher nolan #the assistant #julia garner #pete davidson #judd apatow #cathy yan #antonio campos #the king of staten island #john david washington #kitty green #top ten #film #cinema #reviews #film review

[blueluneacy]

Beast of the Staircase

I thought of this labyrinth Au (Not the movie I admittedly have never seen it), so I wrote it with Diavolo. Hella

Warnings: death, blood, unreality, trypophobia, slight yan vibes

Running through an endless maze really was exhausting. Part of you wondered if this was some sort of dream, or maybe like a sort of purgatory. You couldn’t be sure, but it didn’t really matter. You had to keep running, running towards your exit. This maze which has hundreds of entrances, and no exits.

And you aren’t really sure how you arrived at the maze, or when it really happened. It felt strange to keep running, to fall and wake up at a different place. To run endlessly from beasts, to try and search for an exit that doesn’t exist. Was this really your lot in life? To escape through messes of torn up signs, concrete, and endless stairways? You ignored the patch of dried blood you passed, not stopping to think if it was your own or some other weary travelers. The body wasn’t there anymore, so that wasn’t a good sign. Your goal wasn’t there. It wasn’t around here, but you were getting closer. You had to be.

“And what makes you so sure of that, weary traveler?” You heard a purring in your ear that made you shudder as you kept taking steps up another endless staircase, knowing that at some point you’d have to hop off, lest you be climbing up forever. You hated when beasts found it suitable to root around in your thoughts whenever they saw fit, their amorphous forms changing into what they saw fit. You sometimes wondered who they were, how these beasts came to exist in such a place, but well… In a Place where regular rules don’t apply, perhaps you shouldn’t think too hard about such a thing.

“Every step I take is one where I get closer, beast. Now go bother someone else.” You snarled, but you didn’t have much bite in your words. Truly, you wanted to find some food and rest. Heaven knows you’ve been walking for a while, despite the fact that there was really no day or night here. No, it was gray, gray, always so gray. One day, those clouds might finally rain down. Who can say anymore. But still, you couldn’t rest with a thing you couldn’t trust around you. For all you knew, you could fall asleep and he could start your quest all over, like had happened so many times before.

“Such cruel words. You don’t even know if I’m a good one or bad one yet. Maybe I just want to help you.” He sounded like he was pouting, but you didn’t buy it. Maybe in a time when you first awoke, when you were more naive to what the creatures of this labyrinth were, then you might have trusted these gentle words in such a time of need. But, unless you can be sure they’re a fellow explorer, there’s one thing to be sure of. Never trust a beast. You glanced back and watched as the Beast quickly morphed his claws into fingers, and just snorted. He isn’t even trying too hard.

“I know that whatever you want, it can’t be good. Go harass someone else. I’m sure it can’t be hard to find someone new who will fall for your tricks.” You snarled, finally finding a point of the staircase for you to hop off. As you leaped across the gap, you turned back for a moment and your heart caught in your throat. God, the beast was reaching after you. He was huge, much bigger than any of the smaller imps that tried to trick you into taking a wrong path. No, this was one of those beasts that other explorers warned you of, that you honestly thought might not even be real. Diavolo, the Ravager. You gasped and tried to propel yourself forward, landing on the ledge and scrambling up, trying to back away. Diavolo paced a bit on the stairwell, before laying down, letting his amphorous body transform into what reminded you of a sphinx, tail whipping back and forth like an angry cat.

“Have it your way then, Traveller. And to think that I wanted to help feed someone so rude.” He scoffed, leaving you just to growl. You were at a safe distance here. Beasts were confined to different parts of the labyrinth, invisible barriers they couldn’t penetrate no matter what magic they tried. The rules of this gray universe were unbreakable.

“Oh, one of us was going to feed, alright. But…” You looked over and saw a small pond with fish in it, your stomach growling. You looked over at the Beast, sighing as you tried to pull out a map and scribble down on it. Not that it helped, this maze always seemed to be rearranging itself, making it impossible to even know where you were. You sighed and you sat down, moving to your bag and pulling out a sharpened stick in hopes of catching one of the bony things in the water. You had matches you had taken of the dead body of another explorer, but you felt like it was a waste to use them if you could figure out how to make a fire without them. You sighed and you sat down. “This is as Good of a Place as any to rest, I guess…” you mumbled, moving to aim at the full lake.

“Oh, you really are stubborn, Traveller. When I could feed you extravagant feasts, to give you sweets and red meats from your old life, you choose the rubbish. What an unsavory guest to the Labyrinth, we have.” Diavolo grumbled. You could tell he was still clearly upset about losing out on his meal. You just rolled your eyes.

“Oh, I'm sure you have a ball fattening up humans to devour them. I’m not starting over again.” You replied. Diavolo Just paused and laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh, Traveller, do you really believe you’re still human?” He chuckled. You just turned your head, staring as you narrowed your eyes.

“What the hell are you going on about?” You snapped. You were having just about enough of this Beast, wondering if you could actually wound it with your stick. Diavolo Just grinned ear to ear, his smile something that caused his body to shift a bit, his back arching and his wild pink mane starting to prickle.

“Do you really think a human would just reset the way you all do? How do you think we have come to remain in the Labyrinth, dear Traveller? Mio amore, there is no way out. And one you realize that, the last piece of you that remains human, well… We can see if that will be collected, or if you’ll try and claim your own little hallway. I’m offering you a release from this inevitability, from this cycle that haunts every Traveller to this domain.” He told you, starting to stand up. You gulped and you stood up, quickly collecting your stuff and shoving it into your bag. No, he was lying. This was another trick, another moment where you were trying to be lured into a trap by a beast.

“And why the hell would you tell me all this and try to be my friend? What the fuck do you get out of it?” You rationalized, trying to poke holes in an argument that was starting to get to your heart. You saw Diavolo stretch over the gap and gasped, stepping back. You weren’t out of his domain after all, he was simply playing you. Oh no oh no oh no, could you even outrun him, where did the territory even end, how could you-

“Well, Tesoro, I think… I’ve simply become enchanted by you.” He stepped over the gap, one of the claws tracing over your cheek before you took another step backwards, and the floor crumbled beneath you. For the first time in a long time, you screamed as you fell, looking up at Diavolo as he watched you fall.

“See you soon, cara.” You heard him call after you, before being swallowed up in black. The fall was long, enough time for you to realize that you were about to start over and groan, before hitting the ground with a splat.

When you opened your eyes, you sighed and you got up. You should be at the center again but… you weren’t. You blinked a bit, looking over to see your own body, dead and bleeding on the floor. It wasn’t often that you came back right by where you died. You moved over to the corpse that was once you, ripping off the bag and looking up.

Oh no. There was only one way forward. The staircase. Where you knew the beast, Diavolo the Ravager lurked. You sighed for a moment, gritting your teeth. You looked down and saw holes in your hands, bits of your arms starting to fade. You were running out of time. All you had to do was ignore him. You just had to ignore and avoid him. You took a step up the stairs, then another, then another. You’d find a different drop off. You’d find another way, you’d avoid that beast, you’d find an exit-

“Trying again, amore? Let’s see where you fall this time. I wonder how many chances before you give into my offer…”

#writing #my writing #mine #labyrinth au #diavolo/reader #not sfw #bc of the gore

[xllxxrbxg]

so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

#list #ocs #egos #ideas #hcs #blu rambles #blus list #its fuckigng 2 am #im sorry if this makes no sense #but here are a fuck ton of lads #and a fuck ton of aus and ideas #if anyone ever wants to ask XP

[athena1138]

10/10?

*wiggle* I got ALL of the tags last night!~ This one comes from @redpaperowl :3 

I apologize in advance, because I only really write fanfic so that’s what these are all about. I do have an original story in the works but I’m still designing the map and haven’t actually written anything yet :/

1. What’s your favourite line you’ve written so far?

Oh dear. Um. ...Hm. I have no idea what all-time would be, but in the WIP I have open right now it’s:   “  She had sacrificed and done so much for this cesspool of a city, and yet here its people would walk, their vicious tongues wagging in their putrid mouths, hissing insidious words that she has had to learn to pretend aren’t chipping away at her self-worth like an axe whittles at a tree. “

2. Which character came the fuck out of no where and has completely taken over your writing and forced themselves into a main character role?

Ehm. I wasn’t expecting Anders to be so prominent in the start of my Cullavellan fic, but he’s like. Half the dialogue for the first two chapters. 

3. Which of your characters do you channel the most in real life and which particular traits of yours do they have?

They’re all different parts of me. I think Anna and Alena are the most me. They’re a little shy but can get rowdy and both hot headed. Anna has a LOT of self-confidence issues. Alena is a little sillier and free-spirited. Both of them struggle with guilt and PTSD and depression. They my babes. 

4. Which of your characters do you like the least (or straight up don’t like… I have one I don’t like)? Why?

Rastig. He’s hot-headed, violent, a little cruel. He’s all the bad parts of me wrapped up in one and I don’t like looking into that kind of mirror. 

5. Do you have celebrities in mind for a film adaption? Who do you wanna cast?

I’d wanna find new people, honestly, to play any of my girls, not any established actors. At least, there’s none I can think of who I would want. 

6. What music do you listen to (if any) when you write?

I’ve got 2 playlists. This one is for when I wanna vibe and is my general listening playlist, and then this one is for when I just want background noise

7. What was the last line you wrote?

I decided, since my computer ate everything I’d edited, that it would be wise to just rewrite the entire story. -_- For like. No reason. I just started doing it. So, here we are, back at the beginning. “ Something would go wrong down in the Deep.” 

8. Are your stories one-off books or do you have sequels planned? How many?

I have a lot of one-shots but a lot of multi-chaptered things, too. I don’t see sequels happening, except maybe for my original story if it ever gets off the ground, but that’s mostly because my multi-chapters kind of encompass EVERYTHING. 

9. Who would you trust to direct a film version of your WIP?

A woman, for sure. I did really, really like Birds of Prey, so maybe Cathy Yan? 

10. Who would you want creating the soundtrack for your WIP?

Oh god. Um. Daniel Pemberton because Birds of Prey again 

Umrgnergneajf. I have to come up with my own questions, right? Ok let’s see here 

1.) What’s the work you’re most proud of? 

2.) What’s your favorite trope to use? 

3.) Design a 5 song soundtrack for your favorite work

4.) What’s prime writing weather for you? (/Do you favor any special weather for writing?)

5.) Just so I can get jealous, what’s your standard writing speed? Like, how much can you write in an easy day? 

6.) Do you ride the angst train often? 

7.) Gimme a quick little summary for your current wip :3 

8.) I’m running out of ideas so I’m gonna steal some from above. Which of your characters is most representative of you? 

9.) Favourite line written so far? 

10.) Last line written? 

I’mma taaaaaaaaag @gaymingbinosaur, @thejeeperswife, and tag-back @redpaperowl :D 

#shut up becca

[benefits1986]

Alien On Earth

One of the things I have always been curious about is diving. I have been invited by friends years back. The most memorable invite was actually in lieu of a proposal while hopefully coming across a sea turtle. Lessons were supposed to be near my place, but I declined. So the ending was they had to take photos and videos of the proposal with the help of their instructors who turned over meh snaps in still and in motion. My travel buddies also invited me to Apo Reef and in Anilao for so many times, but I declined.  This year, I stumbled upon this curiosity again just because I got a bit tired of mountains and beach bumming is way boring for me already. Not that I do not love these spots. I just want more views and sights. So, I challenged my dad to go diving. It happened in a snap because I scored a super steal deal in Binuknok Viewpoint. The name itself is too weird and as I was looking it up, very few search results greeted me. We settled for an overnight stay that featured a tent --another first for him and me. My dad is not exactly adventurous but is always up for a dare; so he went on with it. He even said that he did not expect to have such a comfortable mattress and really well-ventilated spot that was facing the moonrise. Gah. Had to squeeze in work but never mind. What’s nice is that we share the space with a very, very few people. And apart from the bayawaks nearby, I had the moonrise all to myself at around 3 AM.  The dive was at around 8 AM and I was told beforehand that I need to get ample sleep and skip alcohol, but I won’t budge, so they let me. A Red Horse mucho is pretty much staple whenever I am by the water, too! We had a crash course on intro to diving and before I knew it, we were getting on it. My instructor is around 18 years old and I was dumbfounded at first but he assured me that the essence of diving is to leave the worries behind and let Mother Nature wow me. O ‘di ba? Very Ms. Universe ang sagot ng straight guy! He even added that I worry too much that’s why I can’t breathe underwater during my first few tries. Eventually, I got it. Here are some of the best lines he threw at me before the actual dive: 

-Every breath you take is gold underwater. Most of the time, we just take our ability to breathe for granted. 

-Every move you make means breathing in and breathing out more. Move deliberately. 

-Sa ilalim ng tubig, alien tayo. Bumibisita lang kaya lagi nating tandaan na tayo ang makikisama sa mga makikita natin sa ilalim. 

-Worry is the enemy of enjoying diving and even living. Try to breathe in and breathe out without worrying too much.  -Enjoy lang kasi bagong mundo ang makikita mo. Be prepared to be wowed. And sure ako, uulit ka, ma’am. 

-The manner by which you will enjoy this adventure is directly proportional to the manner by which you manage the tanks on your back. (Galing talaga this one!)  So, after huffs and puffs, we started walking until we can no longer feel the sand on our toes. It was so fast and I was kind of in shock and in awe because I can actually breathe. Inisip ko na lang marunong naman akong mag-swim so, this won’t be that tough. I mentally run through the reminders given to us during the quick course. Basta hand signs, buhay na ako. I barely moved at first because I’d want the guide to show me how to go about the new world I am exploring and in a way exploiting. During the first few minutes, I felt bored since it’s just like an aquarium. Nothing special and the sight of shattered coral reefs broke my heart and agitated me all at once. Nakakainis. Super insensitive talaga ng mga highest forms of specie in the world including me. I rarely use straw but the cig butts I throw out my car window are something I really, really try to work hard to rectify. As we went deeper, I eventually let my flippers flap and and my hands extend. Ang ganda! Sobrang surreal to think na hindi pa supreme diving spots ‘yun ha! Mountains are great, indeed; but iba ang pakiramdam ng nasa ilalim ka ng tubig. Sobrang fragile. Sobrang vulnerable. Sobrang alien on earth ang feeling, thinking and doing. These are the moments that make me fall in love with travel over and over again. You know that feeling of “feeling so small, so insignificant and so disposable” whenever you reach a spot that is so hautingly beautiful in a very different, very foreign manner? Whenever I get the vibe, I feel very, very, very human that has come across yet another divine intervention. It’s the high that I would eternally chase. It’s the high that goes beyond the material world. It’s the high that makes me want to live more deliberately. It’s the high that tells me that though I know some things, I have yet a lot of things to know. And the more that I befriend new things, the more I realize I don’t know so much. Being grounded --that’s the reason why travel is my cup of tea. 

The bonus? My dad was so proud of himself though he admitted that he did not listen well to the crash course. Nerbyoso kasi kaya naubos agad hangin but he was able to stay underwater for about 25 minutes and reached a decent depth na rin. He kidded me pa that iba rin talaga ako kasi he did not see himself doing this. Sabi ko naman sa kanya he got inked becaue I egged him to do so. Ano pa kaya ‘di ko kayang ipaggawa sa kanya? I even upped the ante by joking him na he’s nearing 60 and while he still can slay, go lang before he has to deal with the realities of being old and frail. I saw his eyes light up. I am not a hugger when it comes to my dad so I just nudged him gently. I let my peepers wander as they met the majestically blue skies. Another hug to heaven, mother dragon. Off to let your love stories and life stories live on! Plus kung andito ka, I am sure, hindi ka basta-basta papayag na mag-dive kami kasi you’re fucked up that way; but I still love you to bits. Alam mo ‘yan. 

Now, looking at freediving and luckily, a good friend is assisting his friends who are organizing this kind of event. The best part? Sometimes, they have clean ups too! Prefect kasi noong nasa ilalim ako ng dagat, I stretched out my hand a few times kasi I was trying to pick up liter. Instructore signaled no of course kasi I might damage the corals kasi I do not know how to do it pa and that calls for another lesson.  Aliens of the earth, unite! 

[felinevomitus]

The Only Authentic Work: Yan Jun Interviewed

'Feedback Performance' (with Andy Guhl), 2014, St. Gallen. Photo by Tabea Guhl.

Yan Jun is a writer and sound artist from Beijing whose practice focuses on the use of feedback, field recording, voice and gesture. Yan Jun began his sound art career by celebrating Chinese underground rock bands in Sub Jam magazine, a venture which soon developed into a “guerilla label” and publishing house in the year 2000.

With Sub Jam – and its subsidiary sister label Kwanyin Records – Yan Jun has released over fifty albums of experimental music by himself and others. These include field recordings by Peter Cusack, Laurent Jeanneau & Kink Gong, noise music by Tim Blechmann & Manuel Knapp as well as improvised music from the Beijing underground. This scene is best articulated by Yan Jun’s ‘Living Room Tour’, whereby intimate concerts occur in private domestic settings.

In 2013, Sub Jam published 23 Formes En Élastique / The Only Authentic Work. This collection of music concrete compositions by Lionel Marchetti was coupled with Yan Jun’s poetic and literary responses to them. The book sought to build “a labyrinth of elasticity, empty space, reality and its metamorphosis” by looking back on 23 years’ worth of work with forward-thinking lyricism.

Yan Jun is currently based in Berlin, as a result of a DAAD Scholarship and artist residency programme, which allows him to attend “innumerable events” and perform in front of “open-minded audiences” in what he considers to be “the last paradise”. Yan Jun is a member of the FEN Quartet (along with Otomo Yoshihihe, Ryu Hankil and Yuen Chee Wai) who will be performing at Cafe Oto on the 24th and 25th April 2017.

Ilia Rogatchevski talks to Yan Jun about the notions reality and authenticity in underground music culture. This interview was conducted over email in February 2017.

Ilia Rogatchevski: Sub Jam began as a magazine before developing into a label and publishing imprint. What were the reasons behind this explosion of activity?

Yan Jun: Yes, this name first popped up as title for a magazine. I actually made only one issue, but in 5000 copies. It was supposed to be published with a concert I was organising – the first gathering of underground rock bands around China – but it failed. That was 1998. I was inspired by [the US independent label] Sub Pop, and ‘jam’, as a free-form of playing (I didn’t yet know the English word ‘improvisation’).

Next year, I moved to Beijing and, in 2000, I decided to release friends’ work. Most of them were in a queue to be signed by a few small, but mainstream labels. I prefer DIY, a spirit lacking in the scene. The so-called underground was weak. There was no [sense of] its own tradition. No deep thought. Very few experiences of touring. Sub Jam was perhaps the third independent label established in the country. Most people thought the underground was just not successful. I thought: “Ok, let’s do something urgently!”

[Now] there is no underground in China. No such culture or scene. No such community or aesthetics. It had a chance to grow it but it stopped about 15 years ago. If someone uses this word now it’s either to sell something to you or it has already been bought. There is a small scene of fake Dionysos, which looks ‘underground’ due to the noise, free jazz and rock & roll styles, as well as the weed and New Age Taoism/Buddhism bullshit, but it’s just another version of the Spectacle. It’s true that it’s at least a reaction to reality. Perhaps a sad one. Like those people who embraced Romanticism while some others embraced National Socialism when they felt tired by the struggle with modernity.

Why did the concert fail? Have you ever used failure to your advantage when creating work?

It was a typical failure, when one wants to create independent art by borrowing resources from the mainstream. I was dependent on one businessman’s word that he will pay the cost [of the event]. Somehow, he disappeared.

My life is full of mistakes and failures. I was (am) always stupid and sometimes an asshole, but I always change and turn direction to new territories. Most people are educated that they are losers in this society. That’s why we depend on dreams. So, in my experience, all these failures are good. Noise is good. Malfunction is good. Non-music is good. Poor sound and nothing meaningful is good. Feedback starts from mistakes, right?

I still believe in Nietzsche’s idea that tragedy was born out of music. It’s not about things we already know or what we can draw from an image by narrative or drama. We don’t paint it by an atmosphere of shining effects – which is what Nietzsche criticised Wagner for – art has to be abstract and emphatic. Life is a tragedy and we should enjoy it by dancing into its depths. If you paint life with colourful wallpaper (as Brian Eno does today), you are cheating.

‘Living Room Tour’, performance at audience’s home (2016, Beijing). Photo by Li Jingyi.

Your mission statement describes Sub Jam as a “guerrilla organisation”. In what sense is Sub Jam’s output radical? In other words, what guerrilla tactics do you employ when approaching new publications, films, events or sound art releases?

To be radical is to react with the ‘Radical Reality’, [something] far more radical than art. Think about the huge LED screen on Tiananmen Square, used for government propaganda, and all the performative and poetic tactics used by politicians and big companies. Think about the everyday news we read: that someone suddenly turns mad and burns a bus for revenge on ‘society’. I think I’m not radical enough. I’m trying.

It’s not easy to stand steadily in this rapid changing environment. You have to move, follow, find fissure, collaborate, kill yourself and rebirth yourself, betray, learn, wake up again and again… that’s guerrilla.

Listening to your work, I get a sense that persistence and feedback play a major role in your sound art practice. What are the motivations behind approaching sound in this way? Are they political, personal or purely aesthetic?

I’m not good of playing anything. Instruments, [computer] programmes, voice, anything. That’s my education and that’s me. I started to make music when I was thirty years old and I was busy organising [concerts] as well. No time to learn to play ‘music’.

Feedback is the thing I finally found easy. You don’t put your beautiful ego and virtuoso skill into an object. It’s there already. And I don’t know how to start and end musically. It’s better to let things be persistent. I think the best music sounds like field recording (and the worst field recording sounds like music).

Do you have a favourite frequency, or a method, to which you find yourself returning to again and again? If yes, why?

15800 Hz. It’s the frequency my feedback system always produces. I can’t chose it. I like it as it comes to me. And it’s audible while some people aren’t aware. It’s radically sharp and small and intense. Once my friend complained that it’s more painful than Merzbow. I was very happy because Merzbow is not radical – but he is sweet and beautiful – and I was enjoying the radical aspect of so-called noise music.

What relationship, if any, does your sound work have to gesture? (I’m thinking here not only of theatrical, performative or practical gestures, but symbolic ones too, such as your attempts to blow up cheap speakers.)

Gestures are performative. Political gestures, linguistic gestures, ritual gestures… I enjoy them and I also enjoy breaking them. For instance, stopping and turning before a motive grows fully. Or telling people it was fake, what I just did a second ago. Or just say “but”. If I go too seriously, I would make a joke to myself, which takes things to another level of seriousness. The symbolic world is basically built by gestures. To play the role of the human is to play with gestures. However, for play, it is more passionate if we are aware it’s a game. Artists should devote themselves to games instead of illusion.

Yan Jun – Feedback Solo (2016, Berlin)

In your interview with Perfect Sound Forever you state that your affinity for “dry sound” is an attempt to “expand people’s idea of what reality is”. I feel like, on a social level, we’re moving away from a useful understanding of what reality is and diving into a dangerous flirtation with fallacy – with Trump and Brexit being the most obvious examples. Does your ‘dry-reality’ come at odds with the ‘wet-reality’ of contemporary popular culture? How do you navigate this dichotomy?

First at all, delay pedals were abused too much in the music scene. And beer. It sounds like you’re make many copies of your poor ego and sending them out as a grant army. What about focusing on one tiny substantial sound?

Good psychedelic music depends on no delay effects, but on individual sounds. For example, drums in 1960s psychedelic rock. Of course, people tend to prefer a laid back atmosphere, instead of [focusing on] details. I too enjoy shit beer, if I’m with friends and the vibe is good.

As for Trump, he is perhaps the most successful actor in the history of American presidents. Use him as a mirror and you can see how people need performances and gestures, how thirsty we are, how poor the reality is. People both love him and hate him. I’m sorry, but it’s true that we enjoy him so much. Without such a entertainer life is boring and fighting is meaningless, right?

But why is the reality poor or do we just think it’s poor? Why do we lack the ability to process information? Why don’t we just accept that the reality is poor and being poor is totally ok, or even great? Why don’t we just accept that we are not beautiful and elegant, but just nothing, and that being nothing is great?

The medicine companies tell us that we have certain diseases and that we need comforting pills. Why are musicians and artists also doing the same thing as those companies? Why are these fucking star artists telling people that you, little losers, [need to] come and worship my giant spectacle? Why do those losers produce dreamy art, which looks better than themselves, yet they forget they they will be greater greater if they don’t make up?

I feel touched sometimes when I see people devoted to making up so much, for example Brian Eno or Merzbow. So childish. So poor. So sad and so true. I would cry for a such love song, because I’m a loser too.

Yan Jun – Living Room Tour: Vickie’s Place (2015, Singapore)

What is it about the music of Brian Eno, Merzbow and other artists who “make-up”, as you say, that is so poor and childish?

Merzbow and Brian Eno are different. Merzbow here is more symbolic as the “king of noise”. People always want a king – of pop, of noise, of Russia, of the USA, of China etc. I enjoy his music. It’s always peaceful and shining. Beautiful in a traditional way. It’s easy to be used as drugs. Harsh noise or fast cut noise or shitcore or noisecore or avant-garde metal or whatever, are no purer than Brian Eno’s wallpaper.

To be childish is not bad. Poor is not bad. It’s just a problem of staying in a feedback loop where poor people always buy dreams produced by noble people. Or they produce dreams by themselves.

How would you define authenticity in this context? Is it a question of process, or delivery, perhaps? Is a living room concert more ‘authentic’ than one that is staged in a concert hall?

No, a living room concert is not more authentic than a concert hall one. An avant-garde composition is not more authentic than a classical one. A master piece is not any better than an auto-tuned teenager song.

To be authentic is to have the ability to make people listen or dive into [your work]. [The pre-Socratic philosopher] Empedocles defined image as consequence of two lights streaming from eyes and touching things. Without the gaze there is no image. To make art is to make people emit themselves through sight. All the CDs and vinyl and sounds are nothing, but waiting for such attention.

Although I see the poetic licence you’ve employed with regards to his theory on sight and perception, Empedocles was fundamentally wrong about this process. Light comes into the eyes. The same goes for sound. There is a strand of thought in sound art theory, leading back to John Cage, which states that the audience is as significant as the performer/composer, because their ‘active listening’ allows them to ‘compose’ the piece as it is happening. Would you agree with this statement?

Of course he was wrong in the sense of science, but let’s think about artists instead of audience. Artists have to emit themselves!

I don’t think the audience changes anything other than their perception. If you just come to take a photo and post it on Facebook, I doubt there is anything valuable in front of you. That’s why we say the audience is the composer. The point of the argument is about an object, i.e. the artwork. “Can you change it by just gazing on?” I don’t care if this object can be changed or not.

If one is merely a receiver, and/or an aesthetics cataloguing machine, s/he does not deserve her/his life (the tragedy, the possibility, the only chance of life). It’s simple: do something. I don’t care for that strand of sound study. My concern is that I don’t want to be a sad consumer who couldn’t find a nice wallet to buy.

The relationship between the audience and the artwork is not one between the consumer and the supermarket. Today, in Beijing, I have seen many experienced audiences who are always picky and criticise the music on stage: “Shit, this is so bad! Oh, he ruined everything! That master shouldn’t play with this local young guy!” This [attitude] is total consumption. No love for the world. In ancient times, people named a small booth as a “place for listening to rain” or a “booth for listening to trees”. Why does nobody complain that the tree does not sound virtuous enough? Because they didn’t buy a ticket for it? You have to do something. Art is life. 23 Formes En Élastique / The Only Authentic Work is available to purchase from the IKLECTIK bookshop. For more information about Yan Jun please visit the Yan Jun or Sub Jam website.

Ilia Rogatchevski Originally published by IKLECTIK, 8 March 2017

#YAN JUN #THE ONLY AUTHENTIC WORK #SUB JAM #INTERVIEW #IKLECTIK

[benefits1986]

Siargao Draft 006

So, before going back to the grind officially because I need funds to keep the trips and tralalas going, eto na naman ako. Eto siguro ang pinaka heartbreaking na kwento mula sa Siargao Visit 001 ko. I will park my “it’s their story to tell” mode ko as well kasi I want to capture a reality na taboo in all levels. Matindeng birthday ender mga mumshiebelles and beshiekeyks! 

Since wala akong tulog at biglaan ang invite ng lovebirds na na-meet ko sa isla, hindi ko na rin matandaan ‘yung name ni Kuya MMK (KM). Sa umpisa, hindi siya masyadong nagsasalita. Nanonood lang siya sa amin nung kakwentuhan ko. Sinimulan niyang maki-join by asking us if we want anymore beer or drinks or food or yosi. We politely declined kasi ako 5 PM pa lang ang saya ko ng umiinom at the only yosi the bar has is Marl, so I tried my best to lessen it, but syempre I failed miserably but whatever. Red yosi nila so I just went to the counter and got myself a pack of Ice Blast. Nga pala, best na magbaon na lang ng yosi bago lumipad to IAO kasi mahal ang mga yosi. 110 to 150 per pack. Or kuripot lang ako sa mga ganitong bagay. Anyway, ‘di ko magets why he insisted many times na ilibre kami. ‘Di naman sa ayoko pero we just met and we have not talked in spite being on one table for some two hours or so. 

He tried to weave his way to our kwentuhan pero hirap siya e. Hindi makasabay. He tried talking about Duterte and we told him that politics is the least thing we’d want to delve into at this point in time. He tried talking about faith and again, we shut him down because that topic is tricky especially when booze is already raging. He got us drinks so no choice. We had to let him indulge. Hindi naman sa pagiging mean and snob, pero damn, dude. I mean this person obviously needs company pero masaya ang kwentuhan namin nung kasama ko, so I was like okay-fine-go-na-brother. 

And these are the storylines that he bared to us: 

Dati siyang entertainer sa Japan. Nag-tourist muna siya doon tapos kumabit sa babae, sa lalaki. Inisip niya all the while ‘yung future ng family niya since siya lang ang may lakas ng loob at angking galing to help them get by. Naging construction worker din siya tapos kinuwento niya ang hirap ng trabahong ‘yun. So bumalik na lang siya sa pagiging entertainer. He then went to details na sa Japan pera ang katapat ng lahat. Isang hawak additional bayad agad. Isang paraos is all a customer gets. So totoo pala ‘yung glory hole. Sabi niya parang morbid pero mas protektado sila and all the more, mas malaki bayad sa kanila. Tanong ko naman paano nila nalalaman na tama ‘yung napili nila. Sabi niya, may pictures na titignan ‘yung guest tapos ‘yun na ‘yun. Nag-share pa siya ng sex tips para makuha ‘yung babae. Sabi ko, bi ka ata. Sabi niya, parang ganun na nga. Hindi siya apologetic about whatever he shared. Sobrang explicit considering first time ang usap namin. ‘Yung kasama ko ‘di ko sure anong feels while listening to him pero sure ako na medyo turned off siya kasi nga naman island vibes and too much drama vibes is okay up until a certain level. ‘Di kami prepared sa MMK levels ng kwento. Then again, I felt that he was aching for a chance to be heard, so sige lang kuya. In fairness, grabehan ang feels ko kasi isa sa mga dream places ko ang Japan. Girl, kawawa talaga ang mga Pinoy at Pinay sa usapang abroad. Kahit ‘yung friend ko na mataas na ang position sa isang Asian country nasabihan na ‘yung sweldo niya kahit parehas sila ng work load and designation nung co-workers niya. White-collared job sa isang “diverse” at Fortune 500 na company pero tangina lang trato sa Pilipino. Sabi sa kanya ang reason na hindi parehas sweldo nila kasi Pinoy siya. Sigh with a big high five sa mga mukha ng mga taong ‘yun.  He continued his tale by telling us na ngayon lang siya nakapag-travel and inggit daw siya sa amin kasi bata pa kami and napush na namin to explore PH and some places outside it. Sabi niya, pera ang nagpaikot ng mundo niya para sa sarili pero higit sa lahat para sa pamilya. Girl, nastress ako and I died inside. Sinabi pa niya na feeling daw niya mamamatay na siya ng wala man lang masabing kinasaya niya with all his heart and soul. Pero bawi naman niya na kasi nga pamilya ang mas matimbang sa kanya. Sabi ko naman, baka naman he made them too dependent on him. Natahimik siya. Napa-hunch ‘yung shoulders. I felt badly but I had to let that out. Hindi siya omnipotent at he ought to know that. Iniisip niya kasi walang hahatungan ang pamilya niya ‘pag hindi siya kumilos. Sabi ko naman, look where it got him. Malayo narating niya pero it got him nowhere based sa kwento niya. Hindi ko naman sinabi sa kanya ‘yung previous statement. Lerkzzz in all levels, beshiekeys. Nakakabasag-puso. Nakakaabala ng kaluluwa. Napagusapan din namin ‘yung getting tested. Tanong niya sa amin noong kasama ko e kung hindi raw kami mao-offend kung hilingin ‘yun ng partner namin. Sabi ko, I do not sleep around so okay lang. Walang masama. Basta parehas kaming magpapa-test. ‘Yung kasama ko naman napagdaanan na ‘yun. Straight relationship pa sila partida pero okay lang sa kanya kasi culture ng girl ‘yun (she’s from another country kasi). Sa punto de bista naman ni KM, mao-offend daw siya kasi dapat daw may trust. Dapat daw hindi na umabot pa doon. Syempre wala naman na kaming imik after except for the line of reasoning na to each, his/her own. Siguro iba ang takbo ng utak ng generation namin at generation nila. Parang late 40s na ata kasi siya but I did not ask his age. 

Inalok niya na naman kami ng drinks and everything kasi iniisip ko aalis na ako to squeeze in some nap time. Pero sabi niya, ‘wag daw muna. Ngayon lang daw siya nakakilala ng tao na sobrang upfront. Natawa ako at sinabi na isa ‘yan sa gift and curse ko. There’s so much lying and pretending in the world so ‘pag kausap ako very polarizing. Either you like me or abhor me. Hindi ko alam kung bola lang sinabi niya or totoo. Wala rin naman akong paki. Basta I am speaking my truth always and 5ever. Sayang oras ‘pag pa-impress ka lang or nakikiayon ka lang sa usapan kasi gusto mong maka-belong. Longing to belong at the expense of denying one’s truth no matter how controversial, questionable and even uncalled for --the world’s serial silent killer ‘yan in my book. 

Sabi ni KM gusto pa raw niyang mag-explore sa bansa. Sabi ko naman try niya humanap ng mas maraming friends na puwede niyang kakwentuhan. Sabi niya first time niya mag-open up like fudge. Sabi ko baka dahil sa dami ng alak. Sabi niya batak naman daw siya doon. Sabi ko kasi baka hindi niya kami kilala kaya no judgement. Sabi niya, hindi rin kasi all his life he is being judged harshly kasi nga sa mga rakets niya. Sabi ko, damn KM, inom na lang natin ‘yan. Sabi niya one round pa. 

Napunta naman ang usapan sa implants niya sa face. Jeskeeellerrddd. Hindi pa tapos. Hindi ko naman napansin unless nung sinabi niya though na-notice ko uneven ‘yung eyebrow and forehead area niya. Maganda kutis ni KM at hindi mo siya aakalaing bakla at first sight. Tinuro niya ‘yung mga pinaretoke niya. Actually ‘yung ilong niya ‘di mo aakalaing pinagawa. Sakto lang e. Hindi pilit. Hindi siya gwapo pero pleasant ‘yung features niya.

Bumalik siya sa usapang sex. Hindi pa rin tapos besh. Why? Pero sige game. Paalis na rin ako ng isla, so support natin. Sabi niya sex is just sex. At wala na raw siyang affinity sa deed. Kasi pare-parehas lang naman daw ang mga babae at lalaki. ‘Pag nairaos na, ‘pag nabigay na, ‘pag sumabak na, tapos na. Hindi raw ‘yun ang batayan ng true love. It’s just part of the big picture. Ang hirap daw sa mga bata ngayon e go-to ang sex in search for love that lasts. ‘Yung ‘di lang daw mapagbigyan e akala mo grounds to cheat na. Very virgin siya doon ano po? Pero kidding aside, bakas sa mukha ni KM na gusto niyang i-share ang wisdom na meron siya, whether he knows it or not. Marami na siyang naging karelasyon at ‘yung ilan long-term pa, pero wala daw talaga e. Single siya ngayon pero hindi naman siya naghahanap kahit may mga foreigners na naghi-hit sa kanya and we are egging him to join them. Hahaha. Matibay na ang dating marupok! Nice one. 

As always, my stand when it comes to sex is that it is a philosophical pursuit. Hindi sa dami or dalas ‘yan. Nasa pagbaon at paghugot mula sa kaibuturan ng kasama mo or mga kasama mo sa moment na ‘yun. Call me friggin’ fudge pero naniniwala akong it should be a venue for you to be exposed and to expose the other. Okay lang naman ‘yung casual sex or sex like there is no tomorrow, basic instinct ‘yan e. Pero ‘wag kang mag-expect na ikakagaan ‘yan ng pagkatao mo. Iba ang pagpaparaos sa pagtutuos ng utak, emotions, and most importantly, your soul/spirit. Ke totoo or hindi ang soul, aminin natin, may something sa loob natin na naa-awaken or napupudpod everytime we indulge in the deed. It’s not about being a virgin or being a fuck boy or fuck girl. It’s about why you do the deeds you do. Ano bang nagpapa-indulge sa’yo? 

Anyway, back to KM. Sabi ko I really need to go kasi baka hindi ma-cancel ang flight and hindi na naman ako nakapag-web check in, kahit alam ko dapat ‘yun lalo na ‘pag nasa isla ka. Sabi niya, baka raw gusto ko ng umagahan. Sabi ko no need na. Baka matae ako lalo. Natawa siya. So nagpaalam na ako. Nagpasalamat siya. Sabi niya payakap naman daw. Sabi ko okay. Nadali ng introvert mode bigla kaya nag-alangan ako. I should have given him a super tight hug pero damn, dude, island vibes so chill hug lang. Gusto ko pa nga siya ipag-pray. Hahaha. Hindi ako preachy pero shitballs lang. Daming struggles ni KM. As in. Hindi na lang talaga kaya ng oras ko kasi I wanna check that I packed everything and I wanted to squeeze in view of the sunrise in IAO para may pa-prod in a payak but pak levels ang Day 001 ng Chapter 32 ko. 

Lesson Learned: Ubra talaga sa akin ang digital detox so alam na next time. Palit sim ‘pag nasa isla. Joke. Iwas phone lang at all times kasi madali lang din naman since mahina Globe doon. Yes to more analog time tayo!