me after reanimating the corpse of tolkien: so later on in the show, galadriel’s new bestie, halbrand, is revealed to be sauron, which kind of erases celebrimbor as a character and his contribution to the main conflict
tolkien: that’s what you’re worried about when two of the beatles are still living? go finish the job
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Aragorn: Lady Galadriel, in your educated opinion, how will I die?
Galadriel: Murder by an angry god. We never find the body.
Aragorn, nodding solemnly: That's a shame.
Pippin, excitedly: What about me?
Galadriel: You crave toast while taking a bath.
Pippin, under his breath: I do love bath snacks.
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You know, I'm a huge fan of mirkwood elves being considered creepy and downright terrifying by almost everyone on Middle Earth, even by other elves. Your headcanons of them being nocturnal and eating the fuckin spawn of ungoliant of all things add on to this, sooo, can I have some incorrect quotes about some scary elves?
As asked for, some incorrect quotes:
Legolas: *starting to gut the spider carcasses after a skirmish*
The twins, who are visiting: what are you doing?!
Legolas: look, we can share if you want-
~~~~~
*in Imlardis*
The twins: *throw the curtains wide open* good morning!
Legolas: *hisses* wHAT DEVILISH CONTRAPTION-
~~~~~~~~~
Elrond: *talking about how food is scarce atm in Imlardis*
Thranduil: *pauses* you kill dozens of orcs on the regular, and you still don’t have enough food?
~~~~~~~~~
Faramir: I heard that those elves of Mirkwood will eat anyone and anything they deem an enemy.
Aragorn: oh, that’s an exaggeration-
Legolas:......
Aragorn: that’s an exaggeration, right legolas-
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: you two are like the sun
The twins: awww, thank you-
Legolas: a nuisance.
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: look if you’re stupid enough to challenge my people, you get eaten if you loose. That’s the rules of engagement.
~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil: nighttime is Funtime
*silvans cackling in the distance as they slaughter all who cross their path*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil: of course I would never hurt a tree! They are Eru’s gift to the universe!
Thranduil: you, however-
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Galion: oh, the noldor are always like “oh no! The darkness! By god what will we do when there are no farms! The night is so scary”
Galion: bitch, what do you think life was like before ya’ll came?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: Eru may judge me, but honestly, fuck him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: *dragging a spider corpse* life’s too short to care about other people’s opinions-
Aragorn: you’re immortal!
Legolas: fine, life’s too long to care about other people’s opinions. Happy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel: alright, looks like- wHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Arwen:*snacking on a spider leg* this is really good!
Legolas, vibrating with excitement: I know, right!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*in valinor post lotr*
Gandalf: ok, Thranduil has finally sailed, which means I need to get out of here before he catches me because he will definitely eat me for endangering his son-
Thranduil: hello, Gandalf!
Gandalf: *incoherent screaming*
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Galadriel, to Celeborn: I went to Rivendell the other day, and guess what son of a smith I saw?
Celeborn: Who?
Galadriel, putting her head into her hands, two seconds away from breaking together: Maglor. I saw motherfucking Maglor. My half-cousin who literally fucking killed elves. In Rivendell. Elrond has been hiding him, a kinslayer, in Rivendell, the last homely house, safe haven for people who are exhausted from life, from me and you.
Celeborn:
Celeborn: Yeah sounds like something he'd do ngl
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inspired by the classic fandom post https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/178677237688/penny-anna-can-tell-merry-pippin-apart-of?source=share by @penny-anna I wanted to try do the same thing for the Silm. But with everyones favourite half elven twins. So here goes nothing.
Can tell Elrond & Elros apart, of course they can, what kind of question is that: Elwing, Maglor, Maedhros
Could not initially tell Elrond and Elros apart but made an effort to learn their names & can now tell them apart: Celebrimbor, Cirdán
Try as they might cannot consistently tell Elrond and Elros apart: Gil Galad, Celeborn, Erestor, Finarfin
Can absolutely tell Elrond and Elros apart but pretends not to be able to: Galadriel
Cannot tell Elrond and Elros apart and not even trying: Thranduil, Oropher, Eonwe
Elrond: I’m Elros
Elros: I’m Elrond
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Maglor: *somehow finds himself in Lorien*
Galadriel: I can’t believe I have to look after my kinslaying cousin
Celeborn: You don’t
Maglor: You really, really don’t
Galadriel: *already planning a new wardrobe for him* Oh woe is me, how fate has forced my hand
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