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so-long-soldier-writes · 29 days

Text

Gorgeous

kai parker x reader (both 18+!) (shy!virgin!kai)

summary: troubled by his own body, kai's afraid to go all the way with you. that is, until you confess you love him regardless of the way he looks, giving him just the confidence he's needed all along.

tags: friends to lovers, kissing, minor fingering, shy!kai, mentions of child abuse / physical abuse [I can't just write a normal fic, can I?], implied s3lf h4rm, emotional hurt / comfort, confessions, making out, blow jobs, virgin!kai, top / bottom switching, reader is a little freaky, nipple sucking, pet names, aftercare, cuddling

word count: 5.5k

a/n: sooooo... this has been sitting in my wips for over a year. for some reason, i just never posted it. but unfortunately, i have work tomorrow, so i'll be dead as a doornail that evening, and the work i wanted to post isn't done yet, so i'll post this in the meantime. that being said, i think i'm finally starting to get back in the swing of things. i'm still working on requests as well as other stuff, but i'm coming back slowly!

also, if this idea is totally unusual, that's probably why it sat in my drafts for a year. it's a year old fluffy smut with a strange premise. bare with me. 😅

The minute you get back from work, you collapse onto the nearest chair and groan.

“You okay there?”

Looking up, you see Jo and her boyfriend on the couch watching a movie. Oops.

“Sorry. Yeah. Long day. Where is everyone?”

“Our dads went to the flooding company people to try and get that situation covered, and our moms took the kids to the park.”

“My brother too?”

“Your brother, but not mine.”

“Cool,” you give the girl a thumbs up. “Hey Cody.”

Jo’s boyfriend looks over at you, “hey, Y/N.”

“Alright, I’m gonna go shower.”

“Okay!”

You make your way up the stairs slowly, wondering where Kai is. Poking your head in his room, you see he’s not in there, but you don’t hear him anywhere else. Oh well. You’ll find him after your shower, because you really, really need that shower.

In your room - also the Parker’s guest room - you grab a new set of clothes and your hairbrush, before going into the guest bathroom in the hallway. See, you and the Parkers are neighbors and have become close family friends. Though one night after a really bad storm, your basement flooded, as did several other houses nearby. This is a problem Mr. Parker could easily fix with magic, but considering the electric and flooding companies know your house was one of the ones affected, he can’t do anything without revealing his coven. Instead, your family temporarily moved in with his until the county could fix the issue.

It’s been two weeks, no progress. But you’re not complaining; you get to spend more time with Kai - your best friend who you’ve recently started dating in secret.

As you’re busy undressing and getting the water ready, you don’t hear Kai come in from outside. The boy stands in the kitchen, staring at nothing in particular.

“Is everyone still out?” He hesitantly asks Jo.

“Yeah. But Y/N came home.”

“Oh. Where is she?”

“Mhm, went upstairs.” Then she snaps her fingers, “oh wait! She said she’s taking a shower. So don’t bother her. Just go to your room and wait for her to come out. Don’t be weird.”

Kai scrunches his nose. As if he’d ever make you uncomfortable on purpose. “Okay, thanks.”

Quietly, he makes his way upstairs. When he hears the water running, he bites his lip. Don’t be weird, Jo had just said. But she doesn’t know how close you two actually are. Swallowing hard, he slowly turns the knob to the bathroom door, trying not to alert Jo to which door he’s opening. Inside, the hot water steams up the mirrors, making it hard to see, but he can vaguely point out your figure through the glass.

“Y/N?”

You hear him and pop your head out of the door, “Kai! Hi. Come in,” you gesture for him to enter all the way.

He does, then shuts the door just as quietly. “I don’t mean to bug you, I just wanted to make sure you were here. Jo said you were, but…” he shrugs.

“You’re not bugging. Come on, join me.”

“What?”

“In here.”

“But… I’m wearing jeans.”

“Well then take them off, you goof.”

“I-I… um.”

Deciding to give him privacy, you stick your head back in the shower and rinse out the shampoo. The whole time you’re finishing your shower routine, you assume Kai’s going to join you at any time. You haven’t gone that far in your relationship yet, but he is a teenage boy, and he does love kissing you every chance he gets.

You two have done more than kissing, of course, but just haven’t gone all the way. And there’s plenty of reasons for that: too many people in this damn house, someone might walk in, someone might overhear, etc. etc. etc. But aside from the obvious reasons, you can’t help but feel like there’s also reasons that Kai isn’t sharing.

He likes to spend a lot of your time together practically worshipping your body. His lips and fingers have touched nearly every part of you, but he isn’t too keen on letting you do the same.

Kai holds you in place with a hand on your neck. His lips are attached right below, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. His other hand’s busy farther down - two fingers pumping in and out of you quickly. You bite your lip hard to not moan as you cum on his hands. He continues to finger fuck you through your orgasm, not letting up until your body stills. Then, he tastes one finger before putting the second in your mouth. You suck on it, eyes trained on him the whole time.

“My turn. Let me make you feel good, Kai.”

“You are. I like watching you like this.”

“No, I know. But I want to taste you, too. Let me blow you.”

Kai bites his lip as if he’s having an internal debate. “Isn’t this so much better, though?” Before you can say anything else, he kisses you, feeling his hands up and down the sides of your body as he does. “Now let me cuddle you, m’kay? Let me take care of you.”

You’re too overwhelmed in pleasure to fight, and succumb to his open arms. Minutes later, you’re both asleep.

You don’t pry if he tells you ‘no’ the first time, but of course, you can’t help but wonder why he’s never let you even see his body.

“Take your shirt off, why am I the only one exposed?” You joke, pulling at the hem.

“Hmph, no, baby, I’m too focused on you,” he says.

Every time. He won’t even take his bracelets off, let alone any of his clothes. Again, you don’t push him - he’ll take that step when he’s ready - but you really want to pleasure him the same way he does you. And besides, he just has to be hot under there; his face is insanely attractive, arms are strong, and figure is lean. You’re dying to know.

“Y/N?” His voice snaps you from your thoughts.

“Mhm?”

“I, um, actually nevermind.”

“You okay, angel?”

“Yeah, just…”

Done with your shower, you turn off the water and grab your towel. You would just go out nude despite him there, but you know the air will be cold, so you wrap the blue cloth around your body. “Well now I’m done.” Carefully, you open the door and step off the slippery floor.

In front of you, Kai is standing awkwardly. His jeans are still on, but his shirt is off and folded neatly on the bathroom counter. You gulp the minute you see his body for the first time. As you expected, he’s lean and rather well-toned for someone not allowed out of his house much. His arms have some muscle to them, and you can see several prominent veins close to the surface of his skin. What catches your eye most, however, is the sharp v-line shaping his hips, leading to somewhere still hidden from your sight. “Fuck,” you mutter under your breath.

Kai swallows hard. His eyes are red. You don’t notice the signs of discomfort, though, until a small sigh escapes his lips.

You narrow your eyes when you hear him. “What's wrong, pumpkin?” Hurrying towards him, you cup the sides of his face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I hate it.”

“Hate what?”

“Hate my body.”

“What do you mean? You’re gorgeous, Kai.”

“All the ew, all the stupid… everything.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t see anything ‘ew’.”

“Look closer.”

“Are you sure? If you’re uncomfortable, I won’t.”

“Just do it.”

Nervous, you step back to look at him closer. “Oh,” you mutter, suddenly saddened. Discolored skin in shades of green, yellow, and purple. Bruises, new and old. Handprints, whip marks, slaps from an open palm, all fading from red. Then there are the cuts, up and down his arms, some on his stomach, some on his shoulders. Clearly self-inflicted, though the bruises were all clearly marks of abuse.

“Now you see how ugly I really am.”

“No, no, Kai…” Gently, you run a finger across a row of evidential abuse. He flinches a little and you can’t help the tear that falls from your eyes. “You’re still gorgeous, baby.”

“Hm,” he mutters, shaking his head ‘no’.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay. I promise. You are still beautiful to me. And I still want you, I still want every inch of your body. You don’t have to hide from me. Hey, I have some, too.”

You peel the towel away a bit to expose several cuts along your upper arm.

He sniffs, “those weren’t there the other day.”

“I know, baby. But yesterday was really hard with my dad, and this was the only way I could think of to cope.”

Kai remembers yesterday. Your dad had forced you to go out with him to visit different universities in the area. By the time you both got back, he was fuming and you were holding back tears.

“He got pissed at me when I said I didn’t want to go to college. He asked me why I was the family failure, and why I couldn’t be more like him.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay, now that I’m back beside you.”

“He’s a dick. Your brother’s a dick.”

“My point is, Kai, that we have a lot of the same scars. You don’t think I’m any less beautiful because of them, so why should you think that about yourself?”

“Because I also have bruises from my fucking dad.”

“That’s not your fault, baby. Your dad is an even bigger dick than mine. And just because you have wounds on your body from his hand doesn’t mean I don’t love you or your body any less.”

Kai freezes, “you love me?”

You then freeze, too. “I, um…” Then you realize that that confession may be exactly what he needs to hear. “Yes. I do love you, Kai.”

Tears that were welling in his eyes are now falling, “why?”

“Why? Why not? Because on top of being absolutely gorgeous, you’re an amazing friend and boyfriend. You’re sweet and gentle and trying your best despite the awful circumstances you’ve been given. You’re always there through the good and bad, and I could never get tired of being with you.”

“Can I admit that I love you, too?”

You smile and nod happily before leaning in quickly to kiss him. Amidst your excitement, your towel falls from your body, and your breasts rub up against his bare chest. Kai lets out a moan at the contact, but then separates from the kiss to cover his mouth with his hand. You just raise your eyebrows at him.

“Feel good?”

Instead of answering, his hands find your breasts and feel them. His eyes roll back in his head. “So soft,” he mutters.

“Kai?”

“Hm?”

“Does this mean I can see you now?”

“Um, I, n- uh-” he stutters over every word.

“You know what? It’s okay. Later?”

“Okay.”

“Sounds good. And I hate to say it, but we have to stop,” you pause to pull on your panties and jeans, “because Jo will start getting suspicious soon,” you have to ignore Kai’s pouting face as you put on your bra, “and she doesn’t need to see us like this, because she’ll tell your dad.” Your shirt is on next, “and then my dad. And then you’ll get hurt.” He watches you pull your hair out from under your shirt and flip it to curl around your face, “and you’re not getting hurt on my watch. Okay?”

Kai nods, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, pumpkin.” You two share another kiss before leaving the bathroom. Kai grabs his shirt on the way out, fumbling to put it on, along with his multiple bracelets. “Downstairs? I need some water.”

“Sure.”

The minute you reach the last step, Jo calls out to you, “did Kai find you?”

“Yeah, he’s here.”

“Okay. He came in a little bit after you went up. I told him you were in the shower, but not to bother you. He listened to me, right?”

“He didn’t bother me at all. Was very gentlemanly and waited in his room for me to come out.” You wink at Kai as you lie straight to Jo’s turned face. Luckily, she’s fixated on the movie.

“Okay, good.”

“I’m just going to get a drink and then we’ll be out of your hair shortly.”

◇◇◇◇

“Y/N, are you sure you don’t want to come with us? It’s a huge festival, it’s a lot of fun,” Mr. Parker asks one more time as he’s halfway out the door.

You take another glance at the amount of people crowding the doorway: your brother and parents, plus Kai’s parents and all his siblings. Minus him, of course. “I’m sure. I’m not too big on crowds, and I’m kinda tired. Might just see if Kai wants to watch a movie.”

“Okay, but be careful.” Then, Mr. Parker leans closer to whisper in your ear. The gray hairs of his beard lightly touch your skin, making you shiver in fear. “And don’t get too close to him.”

“Noted.”

“We should be back around three-ish, more or less,” your Dad adds.

“Okay.”

“Don’t leave the house, and certainly don’t let him sneak out,” Mr. Parker piggy-backs off your dad’s comment. Jeez, it’s like they’re long-lost irritating brothers.

“I won’t. He’ll stay here with me.”

“But not too close, becau-”

“I heard it the first time, Dad. I trust Kai enough that we’ll be fine for a couple of hours. Go have fun, okay?” You had to downplay your friendship to make them think you only trusted him a little. If they knew the truth - that you’d trust him with your life - they’d definitely stage an intervention and never let you see each other again.

“Okay, just making sure. See you later, Y/N.”

“Bye.”

Finally, they leave. It takes ten minutes for nine kids to assemble between two cars, between the Parkers’ van and your parents’ SUV, but they eventually make it work. You can literally hear two kids crying over “having to sit in the back again”, but then you hear your Dad’s voice, “ride with me, if it’s okay with your Dad.” The crying ceases at last, and the cars pull out of the gate.

“Are they gone yet?” Kai comes downstairs about a minute after they left.

“Just pulled out. What were you doing?”

He swallows, “um.” While struggling to answer, you give him a look. “I’m used to hiding during the van-packing process.”

“Okay,” you answer, not entirely convinced.

He bites his lip, “okay, that part is true. I do hide when they do that because sometimes someone storms back in to grab something to appease the ones stuck in the back, like a snack or whatever. But, um, what I was actually doing was… trying to,” he pauses, and you let him find the words, “build up the courage to, um… can I just kiss you?”

You’re confused, but you’ll never deny him a kiss. Smile forming on your lips, you close the three foot gap between you two, hands tracing his jawline, capturing his face, while kissing him softly. His hands find your waist, gripping your hips. There’s something different about this kiss than your usual ones. Something more hungry… willing, maybe. Whatever it is, you let him take charge.

As soon as the shift in control changes, he spins the both of you around so that you’re pressed into the counter, rather than himself, while he kisses you deeper. His lips leave your mouth to trail down your jaw, to your neck, but then he suddenly stops to look up at you.

“Everything okay?”

“Can we go upstairs?”

“Of course.” You joke, “afraid someone’s gonna walk in?”

He misses your teasing tone and replies bluntly, “no, I wanna fuck you.”

You nearly trip up the first stair, causing you to grab a tight hold of his hand. “What’d you say?”

“Is that okay?”

“I-uh-um- yes, just caught me off guard. What brought it on?”

“You said you loved me. And that you liked my body even with all the scars. And that if I can love yours with scars, you can love mine.”

“I did say that. I meant every word.”

“And so now we’re here alone, and I’m going to act on something I’ve wanted to do a long time ago.”

You reach the top of the stairs. He has an arm around your back to prevent you from falling, just in case, as he stares into your eyes for hesitancy. You give none. “Then do it.”

Instantly, your back collides with the hallway wall and he kisses you with the same tenacity he did downstairs. Out of habit, your hands find his hair; his, your waist, but he’s a lot more confident now. Slowly, he inches the both of you towards his door. His hand fumbles with the knob, making him frustrated.

“Wish I could just open the stupid thing with magic.”

“If I had magic, I’d let you take it whenever,” you answer, again, with no hesitancy.

He stops to stare at you. “You would?”

“Mhm. I mean it, Kai, I love you.”

“But the siphoning hurts.”

You shrug, “can’t hurt that bad. I imagine it’d probably actually feel good. At least for me, maybe not other people. Send little tingles all the way down to my-”

He cuts you off with an open mouthed kiss. “Now I really wish you had magic.”

“-and then a part of me would kinda be in your blood, too, right?” You finish the second part of what you wanted to say.

“Holy fuck, you’re turning me on.”

“Open the door, Kai,” you urge.

He finally does, but in the second you take to catch a breath, he’s back on you. He takes advantage of your state and slips his tongue in your mouth, no regard for anything but his and your pleasures. You go weak in his arms and let him explore, enjoying the feeling much more than you probably should. Then, he taps on your hips signaling for you to jump. You do, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you to the bed, finally, and throws you down rather roughly.

Immediately, panic takes over his face. “Shit, that was way harder than I meant to! You okay?”

You, on the other hand, can’t get a word out because you’re giggling too hard.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He tries again.

“You’re so hot when you’re all dominant. Well, you’re always hot, but-” and then you continue to giggle.

Kai relaxes, realizing he didn’t hurt you. “Oh you little-” he climbs on top of you until he’s hovering over your face. Legs tangle together, bodies close but not close enough… You buck your hips. There, now they’re close enough. “You’ve been wanting this,” he observes, fighting back a moan at the contact.

“Yes, but also, your comfort is my number one priority. It’s much better now, with you enjoying it too, than if we were to try when you weren’t ready.”

“Thank you, princess,” he kisses your nose sweetly.

“Thank you for trusting me. One thing though.”

“Mhm?”

“Do you trust me right now?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Without further warning, you grab his wrists and flip him over so that his back is pressed into the bed. It’s the first time you’ve ever been on top of him, and the power makes you giddy.

“I thought you liked me being dominant?”

“Oh, I do. But I also want to see you writhe under me,” you wink at him.

Kai gives you a look, and you know he’s going to start fighting any minute now. It’s in his eyes, and you can feel his muscles under you tensing to build up the strength. In the last second before you think he’s going to try and take charge, your hand goes down to the outline forming in his jeans. All fight is immediately gone as soon as you start to feel him. He can’t even fight the moan he’s been holding back since you started making out downstairs. The sound spurs you on and you rub him harder.

“More, princess. Please.”

You move your legs to straddle him, hands going to his belt. “This okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Words, please.”

“What am I, five?”

You cock your head at him. “Words, or no further touching.”

“Princess,” he tries to buck his hips like you did, but you’re holding him down.

“Come on, Malachai.”

“Don’t use that name.”

“Mala-”

“Fine! Yes, please. It’s okay. Please.” You smirk, not expecting the begging, but loving it. “You little sadist.”

That only makes you love it more. Not wasting another second, your hands are undoing his belt. As much as you want to take it slowly, you’re both too excited to drag it out any longer. Besides, just by looking at him, you can see how hard he is, and you know you’re almost soaking your panties with wetness.

“Wait,” he pants.

You stop immediately. “You okay?”

“I need… I need. C’mere,” he beckons you forward, and you listen. “Need this off,” he pulls off your shirt. “And this,” next is your bra. The minute it’s off, he loses control and grabs your tits like he did in the bathroom a couple days earlier. Before you know it, he’s fondling one while the other’s in his mouth.

“If mine is, this is coming off, too.” You make a grab for his shirt. He pauses, tongue still around your nipple. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” he seems to decide in that instant.

In order for you to pull the fabric over his head, he has to disconnect his mouth from your breast. But when it’s off, he swallows hard and doesn’t reach for them again.

“Kai… c’mon, pumpkin.” You take his hand to put it back on your body, trying to return that sense of comfort, but he doesn’t grasp your breast again. Sighing, you take it as a moment to get a closer look at his body. The bruises, the scars, everything. A tear escapes your eye, and you lean down to press a kiss to one of the purplish wounds. Then, you start to do that with all of them. From his neck to his hips, you kiss every mark made on his body, whether by his dad’s hand or his own. On the fresher ones, your lips are more gentle, barely there, not wanting to cause him more pain. But on the older ones, you leave multiple kisses, or even lick them with your tongue before kissing. “I meant it, Kai. You’re gorgeous. These marks don’t stop me from loving you.”

Slowly, he makes eye contact with you again. His hands reach out to your face, and when he gets a hold of you, he pulls you in for another deep kiss on his lips. “What did I do to deserve you?” He asks with a tear emerging.

“You don’t have to deserve love, baby.” You kiss his collarbone.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Your lips travel to his chest. Giving him a taste of his own medicine, you swirl your tongue around one of his nipples. He moans loudly, arching his back.

“Holy shit, I didn’t know that would feel that good.”

“Can I continue to make you feel things like that?”

“Yes, please. I need it, I need you. Wait, but let me-” he suddenly sticks two fingers into your wet heat, hovering over his own body, and pops them in his mouth. “You taste so good.”

“Are you gonna let me taste you now?”

“Sure. Yes. I meant yes.”

Your eyes warm and you continue to kiss him further down - this time, trailing his v-line. You had noticed the prominent indents the other day, but are now getting to see it up close. He moans again, enticing you more.

“Princess.”

“I’m working on it.” Finally, you shrug his jeans down and off his body. You can tell he’s fighting the urge to hide his now-bare legs, but you opt to not pay attention to them anyway. Your gaze goes straight to the bulge in his boxers that looks even thicker without his jeans in the way. Mouth watering, you touch him first, enjoying the feeling.

“Y/N, please. It’s uncomfortable. Too tight.”

Succumbing to his wishes, you tap his hips for him to lift them, then peel back the final confinement. His cock springs out, slapping his stomach in the process. You’re quick to lean forward and lick a stripe from the base to the tip. Kai sinks his head into the pillow, groaning huskily. After pulling his boxers all the way off, you refocus your attention back to the length in front of you.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” you mutter. The praise makes him twitch, and you immediately reach out to grasp him between two of your fingers. “Need to taste.” And then you finally do. You start at the tip, rolling your tongue over the slit counter clockwise, stimulating precum in the process. Some of it leaks into your mouth, straight down your throat, but most of it drips down the side of cock. It doesn’t get far, though, before you move your head to catch it, licking your way from the base to the tip, again.

A shiver runs through his body. “Feels so good.” Barely audible, but you hear him.

Positioning your head over him, you prepare to take him fully. To you, it’s a five second break of deep breaths, but to Kai, overwhelmed in pleasure, there’s almost no warning. As soon as you’re ready, you sink your mouth down on him until you get about halfway and your gag reflex kicks in. Cock hitting the back of your throat, you gag around him.

“Y/N, you okay?” He sits up on his elbows, worried he’d accidentally hurt you.

Slowly, you lift your head back up, “I’m good, baby. Just training my throat to take you.”

He swallows so hard that you see his Adam’s apple bob. “Oh, um…” He doesn’t lay back down, opting to watch you instead.

You don’t mind as you go down for a second time, getting further now. You do it several times, taking more and more of him each time. Your tongue swirls around his length and traces his veins. In fact, there’s one vein in particular that especially makes Kai moan every time you hit it. It’s on the underside of his cock, and you start to pay special attention to it. The rest of his length sits against your face as you focus on it.

Kai doesn’t know if the sight or the feeling is affecting him more. Either way, he feels himself getting close to release. Your mouth is around him, head bobbing up and down rapidly, when he twitches. He whines, resisting the urge to hold your head where he wants. Suddenly, though, you stop and remove your mouth completely.

“Fuck, wait, I’m about to…”

“I know, pumpkin. Can’t let you do that yet.”

He’s about to ask why, but then sees his answer. In one quick motion, you’re removing your own pants and lining your bodies together. “Ready?”

“Mhm. Yes.”

You smile, grab his cock to hold it upright, then sink your heat down onto him. Kai collapses, elbows no longer supporting him, as pleasure consumes him.

“You okay?”

“Yes, oh- oh god.”

“Can I move? I’ll start slow.”

“Please.”

As promised, you slowly begin to ride his length. Your hands rest on either side of his body and lips are pressed to his chest, leaving hot kisses all over his skin.

“Let me know if you want to try and take over.”

“Okay.”

When Kai starts to relax, you pick up the pace. Not too fast, but little by little. Soon, his hands find your hips and he helps guide you. His fingers have a tight grip on you, but it only makes you wetter.

“I think, I wanna… wanna try…”

“Want to be on top, angel?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay. You can just flip us or I can move, what are you feeling?” But the hungry look in his eyes already gives you your answer.

As soon as you nod and grab onto his shoulders, he flips the both of you so that you’re now pressed into the bed. With his usual role re-established, so does his dominance. You open your legs wider to give him more access, and he immediately takes advantage of it. With a lick of his lips, he pushes his cock into you, not stopping until he’s run out of length.

“Oh my god,” you mutter.

“Is it too much?”

“No, you’re perfect. Move when you’re ready, mmkay?”

He nods, then copies the way you rode him when he begins to move: arms on your side, head ducked into your chest. His lips attach to your nipples, sucking, and pulling them between his teeth. When he gets a hold of his balance, you feel pressure on your clit, too.

“Fuck, Kai. You’re so good.”

His body jolts, “say it again.”

“What?”

“Name. Say it again.”

“Kai,” you pant as he quickens pace.

“No one else is home baby, say it louder.”

You had forgotten this fact, actually, but the minute he reminds you, you let yourself go. “Fuck,” you moan, rather loudly, “feels so good, Kai! Fuck. Harder.”

He spreads your legs wider and thrusts harder upon request. Obscene sounds fill the room, mixed with your moans and whimpers.

“Kai,” you pant, “need to hear you, too.”

“I’d rather hear you, Princess.”

“Aw, come on, gorgeous. Nothing turns me on more than men moaning,” you admit. “Need to hear you.”

Previously held-back grunts and groans tumble from his mouth at your confession. When his lips return to your nipple, he makes sure to keep up with your request, sending vibrations throughout your body.

“I’m close, Kai. So close, so close… don’t stop what you’re doing.”

“I’m getting there, too,” he twitches again. “Come for me, Princess.”

As soon as he asks, your orgasm rips through your body. Loud moans follow, and your eyes roll back in your head. Kai rides you through yours, before pulling out and immediately releasing all over your face and chest. Some drips off your shoulders, down to the bedsheets.

The minute he catches his breath, a worried expression takes over his face, “I’m sorry! I knew I shouldn’t do it inside you, but wasn’t sure where else to. I aimed for your chest and misfired.”

You make direct eye contact with him, then swipe a bunch off your cheek with your finger before sucking it off. “Oh, I’ll never complain about a facial.” You dart your tongue out to the side to gather more. “And don’t worry, I kinda like the taste. How the hell were you a virgin, Kai?! You were amazing the whole way through!”

He blushes, “um, thank you.”

You can’t help but giggle. Only Kai would be sweet enough to thank you for complimenting his sexual ability. Your ex-boyfriend, to whom you had lost your virginity, threw you an, “I know,” when you told him he was good. This little fact just made you love Kai even more.

Then, as if he couldn’t get more perfect, his next words are, “can I clean you up now, Princess? And then we can cuddle and nap?”

“Of course. Give me a kiss first.”

Kai leans forward and kisses you sweetly. His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, wetting it gently.

“Blood,” he comments.

“Hm?”

“There’s blood on your lip.”

You run your own tongue along it, “must’ve bit it in pleasure.”

“I’ll be right back, okay?” He pulls on a loose pair of sweatpants from his drawer, giving you a wink.

“Okay, darling.”

Two minutes later, Kai returns with a warm rag and a water bottle. First, he cleans the small sore and any remaining blood off your lip, then hands you the bottle. “Drink,” he insists. As you do, he moves the rag over your face and down your neck and chest, cleaning off his drying cum. He rubs your lower body next, easing some of the soreness as well as wiping away your cum. “Anywhere else?”

“No, I’m okay. Do you need anything?”

“Just you,” he sappily replies.

“Okay, come here then.” Arms wide open, you gather him up and pull him close. You take a hand away for a split-second to pull the blankets over you two, earning a whine before he realizes what you’re doing. As soon as your arm is back around him, he snuggles into your body. “I love you, Kai,” you whisper with your lips against his cheek.

“I love you, too, Princess. Thank you for making me feel like I’m worth something to someone.”

As much as his words sadden you, they also make you feel warm inside. You’re the one that makes him feel that way, and that’s pretty fucking special.

“Always, my sweetheart.” You give him a kiss to the cheek, keeping your lips there even afterwards. His heartbeat slows into a comfortable rhythm and breathing evens out, and soon, he’s fast asleep in your arms.

#malachai parker x reader #kai parker x reader #kai parker fluff #kai parker smut #tw: child abuse #tw: s3lf h4rm mentions #tvd fanfiction #virgin kai parker #shy virgin kai - my favorite flavor 😂😅

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yanderes-galore · 17 days

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Hello! Can I request Glamrock Freddy yandere alphabet :>

Sure I can! Sorry for the long wait, I've been working my hardest, I swear!

Yandere Alphabet - Glamrock Freddy

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Delusional behavior, Babying, Kidnapping, Violence, Manipulation, Dubious companionship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Freddy is very friendly, honest, and protective. He cares deeply for his obsession. He can actually be overbearing when it comes to affection. He'd accidentally smother you with his affection, always wanting to protect you and see you smile.

He adores hugs and nuzzling into you, even if he is a robot. Freddy seems like he'd come off as intense but not mean to. He just gets so excited about you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Freddy usually likes to solve things in a non-violent way. He tries to stay away from excessive violence... but if you were really in danger? Well, he'll break such a rule for you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Freddy would treat you really well. He keeps you from harm and tends to your every need. Regardless of intentions, he acts very paternal.

Food, comfort, any sort of affection... all taken care of.

He would never mock you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He tries not to. He doesn't like forcing you.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

A lot, actually. Freddy is very open with how much he cares about you. Sometimes he's vulnerable, but he likes to be strong for you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Disappointed and confused. He's delusional and doesn't quite understand why his darling is fighting him.

After all... isn't he protecting you?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and he hates it. You could get hurt!

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

For the most part, Freddy is really tame. The worst experience is probably him kidnapping you and not listening to you due to his delusions.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

However, if you want to bring the Afton Virus into this... any violent action involving that would work.

Honestly, seeing him snap and hurt someone is rare, but could happen too.

He isn't quite sure. What he wants to do is follow you, make sure you're well taken care of, and defend you like a guardian should.

It's part of his programming.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

I imagine Freddy does get jealous, but he either hides it or inserts himself into your conversations. He loves to be included.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Obsessive, Overprotective, Anxious, Clingy, Manipulative, Smothering, Caring.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

I imagine you're either a STAFF member or a guest he manages to lock on to. Afterwards he follows his little obsession curiously. As you can imagine... it gets progressively worse... and one day, by the end of closing time, you're locked in his room.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really, he isn't good at masking.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Freddy probably punishes you like a child due to his programming. Like... literal timeouts in his room. He doesn't want to do anything too intense.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Under his care? Probably most of them. Even if he doesn't mean them.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Very patient. He has to be due to what he does.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He probably would if his memory was wiped... other than that, no, he probably would not move on.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little and maybe.

It would take a lot of convincing.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Most likely a glitch in his programming or maybe the Afton Virus?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He hates seeing you upset and would do whatever he can to comfort you. After all... what kind of companion would he be if he didn't?

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Playing along with it until you can find help most likely.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not intentionally.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not really a worship yandere but would do anything to keep you by his side. He wants to see you happy and safe.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

If you're STAFF, if could be weeks or months. A customer? Perhaps within the day, depending on how attached he is.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally.

#yandere five nights at freddys #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf security breach #yandere glamrock freddy

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thankskenpenders · 11 months

Text

There have been some interesting bits of Sonic-related news lately! This is the post where I comment on them.

youtube

Sonic Superstars

Finally! A new Sonic sidescroller! It's been too long.

Admittedly, in a perfect world, I would've wanted a Sonic Mania 2, but I'll take a 2.5D game with all new zones for sure, especially when the art direction for it looks this nice. And four-player co-op with Sonic, Tails, Knuckles AND Amy playable? Hell yeah. Also Fang is back, and there's a new funny little guy designed by Naoto Ohshima! Wow!

There's been some concern over how this will play, particularly after it was discovered it's being co-developed by Ohshima's company Arzest. They're perhaps best known for some mediocre Nintendo games like Yoshi's New Island, Hey! Pikmin, and the 3DS version of Mario & Sonic 2016, as well as, of course... co-production on Balan Wonderworld. The thing is, Arzest is very much one of those "silent collaborator" type companies. They're hired gun developers who do the grunt work on projects for other studios without being put in the spotlight. The quality of their games isn't really up to Arzest, who are presumably just doing whatever they're directed to do with whatever resources they're allotted. It's up to their publishers.

Based on the side-by-side physics comparisons that have been going around Twitter, it seems clear that SOMEONE on this project is invested in making Superstars play just like the classic games. I'm admittedly no Sonic physics purist, but the extended gameplay footage (with placeholder music from Sonic 4 Episode 2) looks spot on to me. Christian Whitehead also seems to know things about the game, stating that "the Mania physics were indeed fully translated to modern 3D." It seems that at the very least they consulted his previous work on this, regardless of whether or not he's actually involved.

But even if this ends up not being true, honestly, I'll take a new Sonic sidescroller that's "just okay" if it has all new zones, nice art direction, and good music. If Sonic 4 had checked those three boxes but played exactly the same, I would've been way more into it.

youtube

Really, it's the music that has me most concerned. Obviously we all love Jun Senoue, but hearing he's trying to do "classic-style" music again makes me worry that he's gonna bust out the fake Genesis synths. I'm actually a weirdo who likes the Classic Sonic stage themes in Forces, but those weren't by Senoue, whose otherwise very strong compositions were really hurt by the sound palette chosen for Sonic 4. Like many others, I'd prefer it if Superstars went for the new jack swing sound of Sonic Mania - and considering Tee Lopes is contributing, hopefully he's allowed to tap into that sound a little. But I'd be open to other styles, too. I just really don't think a game with HD visuals should be going for a fake 16-bit sound.

But yeah, overall, I'm looking forward to Superstars. I think we've needed something like this for a long time, and I'm glad they're finally doing it.

Sega union update

We don't have many details on this, but the newly forming Sega of America union, AEGIS-CWA, is facing resistance from management. Apparently some form of "anti-union campaign" (their wording) is underway, also described more worryingly as "relentless attempts at union busting." We unfortunately don't have more details right now, and it seems like no news outlets are doing anything with this story.

This behavior is unfortunately not surprising, even from a company that purports progressive values like Sega. Remember kids: corporations are not your friends.

In the face of this, the members of AEGIS-CWA are still trying to convince management to stay neutral with the help of their fan petition that raised over 4300 signatures. At the time of writing this, their first union election is also underway. I continue to wish them luck in their efforts. We're currently seeing a wave of unionization attempts the likes of which we've never seen before, and I have to hope that at least some of them stick. We need real change in the game industry, an industry where if you're able to stick around longer than ten years without burning out then you're one of the lucky ones.

Okay now time for the thing y'all really wanted me to comment on

Penders says he's leaving Twitter

Earlier this month, Penders announced: "Since Twitter is promoting anti-trans nonsense, I can’t in good conscience continue to be associated with it much longer."

He's certainly not wrong. Elon's been doubling down on his transphobic fearmongering, and Twitter's already weak moderation of hate speech has only gotten even weaker. (They quietly removed their rule against intentional misgendering in April.) But based on the date he tweeted this, I assume Ken was referring specifically to Elon promoting Matt Walsh's shit ass transphobic documentary, which Elon personally allowed to be hosted on Twitter in its entirety. I'd quit the site myself if it didn't feel necessary to promote my work and stay connected with my peers. (Both the furry community and the gamedev sphere are very much centered on Twitter.) Assuming Ken does actually leave in protest, hey, good on him.

There's been some surprise over the fact that he's apparently a trans ally, but for all his many flaws, Penders has always been your average baby boomer Democrat. Half his tweets are about hoping Trump goes to jail. He has many outdated views that he refuses to unpack (I am not going to devolve this post into a catalog of stupid shit he's tweeted), but he at least understands that "progressive" is a thing you should try to be. He's that uncle who you wouldn't go to for a nuanced view on queer identity, but like, he knows trans people exist and are discriminated against and that that's bad.

Of course, instead of just leaving Twitter, he's announced that he intends to leave by September 30th, after which point people will have to contact him via his website. The idea of someone scheduling a date four months in the future on which they're going to leave a social media platform in protest is very, very funny to me. I wonder if he has something planned for September that needs to happen first - like, you know, maybe finally releasing at least a portion of The Lara-Su Chronicles?

Lord knows when the hell we'll be able to read the first part of the comic, but in the near future you WILL be able to buy THIS on a t-shirt!

Wait did he change that one character from Anthony Mackie to Ernie Hudson???

Anyway, my one hope is just that even if he does leave Twitter, he doesn't delete his account. His tweets have long been one of my most important sources for behind the scenes info on Archie Sonic, even if you do have to take some of it with a grain of salt. Gallagher and Bollers are simply not going on Twitter and talking about this stuff on a regular basis like Ken does. With so many old forums and fan sites now gone, only partially preserved by the Wayback Machine, Ken deleting his Twitter would truly be the burning of the library of Alexandria for old Archie Sonic behind the scenes drama.

You know, assuming he actually does leave Twitter.

...

Aaaand that about does it for Sonic-related news lately, I think? Okay, back to my hiatus. I would still like to get back to updating sometime this year, but I'm still in recovery mode following SLARPG's launch, so I can't promise when that'll be. I appreciate everyone's continued patience!

#tkp post

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viviennelamb · 21 days

Text

If you're a real artist of any kind, never read opinions from non-artists or people who haven’t taken any risks in their lives. Remember, you're not a feedback reader, you're making people like you feel less alone and perfecting your craft and process. When it comes to your art, think of this and nothing else.

The ordinary person doesn't know what devotion is like because their brains aren't even 1% functional.

They're not full nor complex people either, they're an ego programmed to please others so they can fit in. Uncreative people target anybody different from them. This is why they’re into politics and activism and can’t stand that anybody thinks differently than them. This is the Ego's nature.

I was there at some point too and it was repressive, but now I'm free. Those who aren't free judge because they're prisoners of their own minds. always remain aware of envy and the crabs in a bucket mentality. Doesn’t matter if they’re race, gender or sexuality liberationists, they are against you if you’re a real person and will hate you for being free without needing their help.

I know a lot of the people reading this are looking to break through their mental barriers and I must tell you the obvious... life is a millisecond in cosmic time and you must act quickly on the opportunities presented to you.

Nobody is rewarded for being "the most liked by egos.” When you die, you need to leave something that somebody can unearth and feel like they hit the jackpot to read, listen and look at and cherish for the rest of their lives.

There's no time for preoccupation with what zombies think. If you have time to worry, you need to add more work into your schedule (all real work is Spiritual, everybody else is just a busy body).

Successful people are too busy winning, or at least learning how to win, to judge people who are focused on their own craft. If you see somebody doing them but you’re judging instead of being inspired, you’re average and always will be until you decide to go for what you’re most scared to do.

Play your role to the fullest and you'll stop being depressed regardless of what the world shows you. When you're doing all that you can, you'll be lifted out of your depression. Most people are long-term severe melancholics because they’re not creating, but believe they're well and project that depression unto those who are sane and healthy.

Since being a depressive is normal, those who have the drive to do what they love everyday, regardless of what anybody has to say about it, are deemed unwell because it's not socially acceptable to serve your soul. Everybody wants you to be their social slave instead.

Beauty isn't balanced or normal, it's extreme and rare.

You keep daydreaming and thinking "if only I could..." you can! The second you decide to go for what you want, everything becomes available to you. You don't have to plan, just make the vow and act immediately and once you iterate and record what works and what doesn't, you're making progress.

If you want a shortcut, find a mentor. The more you stay in the freeze state nothing happens. Your conscious mind cannot comprehend "how," so forget attempting to understand or map out the trajectory of your life and just act.

Even if you're an aspiring artist, stop reading stuff you can't relate to, or negative people who judge others for stepping out of the box because that affects your mental health and therefore your art, even when it's not directed at you.

That fear they meant to direct at others doesn’t actually affect the supposed recipient, but the individual saying it as well as their peers. Now their peers are secretly scared to be open with somebody they thought they trusted.

By the way, the highest art is the Art of Self-Mastery. Once you take back full control of your mind, senses and body, you're well on the path to achieving the purpose of life. Even better if you share the process of achieving your purpose. Don't wait until everything is perfect.

Sure, people will think they know you even though you only share 0.01% of your life, but at the end of the day, you're stopping yourself from doing what you're meant to do. Any obstacles you face is a test to show yourself how much you really want something. Think of these obstacles as checkpoints.

Once you get going, you will get real life checks to show you how strong you've gotten and how much you've improved in your role/craft. Stay locked in regardless.

The vast majority are extremely mentally unwell because they don't create or share anything that brings light into other people's lives. That stagnancy, as well as their hatred of the soul is the death of the mind.

Never listen to a dabbler who only creates once a month even worse, once a year, tell you anything about your creation. Just nod and smile because you're listening to an opinionated slave.

Remember, the only thing the ordinary person produces daily is an orgasm and poop. It would take the fragile and mindless a month to write a post like this, same with the art you're driven about, but they will judge and dissect what you do when they haven't done anything, ever. They don't have the discipline to write and release something in the same day because they're too busy arguing and gossiping about what a random thinks.

Only intake art and perspectives from people who are utterly and crazily obsessed and then you'll feel like your heart is finally waking up, which is what happened to me. Only then will you reach that point of being unable to feign lukewarmness and soullessness anymore.

Once you begin to exit mediocrity, you will see people's hatred toward you (which is really toward themselves) leaking out as false concern, fighting, and creating dossiers on strangers yet this person doesn't even keep a daily journal of their own thoughts. These individuals exist for you. They're waiting for you because their life consists of talking about others, so give them something to talk about.

When an individual can't be honest and haplessly spends their life energy, they become afflicted with loneliness, anxiety, and a chaotic mind regardless of how many bodies they pile around them and how much validation they get. Most people are unskilled, emotionally, and socially retarded for this reason.

When I read stuff from those individuals in particular I'm severely underwhelmed... it's all misinformation about other people's lives and it's not even at least entertaining. I’m looking for anything real from them and there’s nothing but there’s nothing but race policing and sexual harassment.

They don't know what it's like to strive for something bigger than personal comfort and social validation. When their useless life ends, all that will be left behind of their existence is documentation of their sex-addiction, their list of diagnosed mental illnesses, ideology fights, and gossip.

Also, the people who say they wish they could meet certain artists are all lying. They would've been part of the crowd who judged them if they lived during the same time, especially the ones who pride themselves on being conformists whose best accomplishment is getting a girlfriend.

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ssalballoon · 4 months

Note

Whats your art process and what would you reccomend for someone who would like to achieve a style similar to yours? i love this mix of cartoonism and realism. your work is such an inspiration >.<

oh gosh! thank you?! 💞 i'll do my best to explain it, but even I have a difficult time trying to understand my own art process/style because of how inconsistent it is;; (i still have a lot to learn!) this is gonna be a long reply so i'll place it under the cut

process:

I start loose with a more gesture type rough sketch. I mainly just do lineart in the same layer as my sketch and erase away parts I don't like. Sometimes I'll lower the sketch's opacity and on a new layer do my lineart (which is what i did for the drawing above). But regardless doing that loose gesture sketch helps keep my drawing dynamic even as I refine over top of it!

- I duplicate layers A LOT for safekeeping my previous progress, especially if I'm thinking of making a big change (ex. changing limb position)

If I wanna put colors down underneath it I set my lineart to Multiply. For coloring I'm very inconsistent with the process, but recently I've been using a more subjective coloring style, where I pick my own shadows and highlights to try relying less on blending modes (which is gonna be too long to get into here;;) Finally if I feel like it, I make a layer on top of my lineart layer where I render everything

Oh this is something that helps me a lot for colors! I have 2 layers that are a mid-gray tone placed above all my other layers. One I set to the Color mode (to make the drawing black and white), and the other I set to the Luminosity blending mode (to make the drawing's brightness the same..?not sure)

The Color layer helps me check if I have enough contrast in values, and the Luminosity layer helps me check if I have enough contrast in color hue and saturation!

style:

This is really difficult to answer because style encompasses so many different aspects of art, but I'll try to focus my answer on the mix of cartoonism and realism that you mentioned!

I struggled trying to explain what my style is like so I just broke down one of my drawings that exemplifies a lot of my stylizations! Hopefully these can give you some pointers about what I tend to think about when I draw (click for higher quality)

(+to add to this i use a brush with no size pressure, only opacity pressure)

What I recommend for stylizing a realistic character: The way I learned to stylize a more realistic character like this one was to import a reference of his face, then trace over it very deliberately, making sure to stick to big shapes and characterizing details I thought were important to achieve his likeness! Then I'd turn the reference layer off and freehand it over and over, comparing and redrawing until I managed to get the mix of accuracy and stylization I liked!

What I recommend to find a style: I basically ended up with my style subconsciously as an intersection between the things I like to see in art + the things I like to draw! Most of my inspiration comes from anime (😔) and artists online. I'll see a very specific stylization I like in others' art, and try replicating it to see if I like how it fits with my style + if I enjoy drawing it in that way. I did this a lot over the years, accumulating into a big mosaic of inspiration from all the artists whose work I personally enjoy and learn from! I know this isn't exactly answering how to get a style like mine, but I think knowing this general process may help you out in the long run!

ahh i think that's it! i tried to be as comprehensive as i could without being too verbose (my bane). i hope this is the answer you were looking for and that it can help you! 💞 and thank u for the ask! it was a good exercise for myself to analyze my own art

#my asks #anonymous #tutorial #...? art info? not sure what to tag this #i spent a very intense day mulling over this ask #hopefully i answered this correctly...!#art resources

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theflyindutchwoman · 5 months

Note

Given recent discussions in the fandom and because I’m curious to hear others’ opinion… would you want to see a Chenford breakup next season?

All right, let me start with my usual disclaimer : this is only my opinion and it has no more (or less) value than anyone else's. And this isn't meant as a personal attack either, regardless of which side of the equation you're in. I actually enjoyed reading other people's takes on this, particularly the ones who want a breakup, to see their perspective on the subject. It was truly interesting (no sarcasm).

To answer your question, dear Anon, no, I don't want a breakup. Mainly because I feel that so many shows go there, so I'm more interested in seeing Tim and Lucy navigate the ups and downs together.

One thing that attracted me to their relationship was their ability to talk to each other about everything and anything. How, despite their differences and their rocky start, they could always confide in each other… Be extremely vulnerable. And that is what I would love to see going forward. How this shorthand they've developed by working together can translate into their personal relationship. Don't get me wrong, just because they are usually good at communicating doesn't mean that it is perfect. It's not. Even before they became a couple. There are some cracks that became more and more visible as the season progressed. The theme of 'honesty' was their main thread in 5b. The storylines involving Sava & Jake or Isabel served to highlight that aspect. To emphasise how lies, deceit and miscommunication can destroy a relationship. Now it could be used as a foreshadowing… Or it could be used as a warning. Tim and Lucy already have a much stronger relationship, so I choose to believe that this could be a learning experience for them. Learn from other people's mistakes, learn from your past (in Tim's case).

Right now, those moments of dishonesty revolves around one common theme : work. Tim taking a desk job without consulting Lucy first… Lucy doing the five-player trade behind his back… Him trying to lie at first that he wasn't bored out of his mind… Her not saying anything about Primm (as far as we know)… Him not wanting to open up about his fears regarding undercover… Those are starting to pile up and they're going to need to address it. The sooner, the better. Particularly the undercover talk. This has been a long time coming. It's clear that Tim is terrified but doesn't want to burden Lucy with this. And she can sense it. That last scene in 5.21 was (for me) a step in the right direction where they started voicing their concerns. It's nowhere near sufficient. But they stopped avoiding that topic altogether. Like I said, they can be great at communicating… But they can also be their own worst enemies. They're both selfless when it comes to the other… they're both used to do things a certain way. And now, they need to learn how to do these things together. To talk about these moments that may seem insignificant to them but isn't to the other. To stop making decisions for the other. This is quite new to them : as we've seen in the past, they didn't truly open up to their boyfriends/girlfriends. That's something they are going to have to learn together. And that's okay : this is part of the journey of being in a relationship.

Another reason why I don't want to see that is related to the characters' growth. The thing is, I actually could picture Tim breaking up with Lucy because there is a pattern here. If he got it into his head that he is holding Lucy back, an idea already planted by Noah in 5.16, then yes, it wouldn't be out of character for him to break up, thinking it's the right thing to do for Lucy. Which is not that dissimilar to what he did in 5.02 : sure, they weren't together, but it still felt like a separation. Especially since the end of that scene mirrored so well another one from 1.12… when he decided to divorce Isabel. And if you remember, that was pretty much for that very same reason : he was afraid that being with him would only remind her of her time as an addict and bring her down. So he did what he thought would help her the most and decided to divorce her. So breaking that pattern would be a tremendous character development for Tim (in my opinion). Then, there's the fact that this is something they knew would be coming up at some point. This isn't a new obstacle. The episode before they got together had Lucy go undercover. And Tim, even more so than her, knew what he was getting into when he told her that it was worth the risk. He may not have explicitly said it but the implication that she was worth fighting for was right there. So breaking up for something that they could foresee kind of negates those words. And it would play right into Lucy's insecurities. She was so hesitant because she didn't want to lose what they have. She is finally letting go of the fears that prevented her before from fully committing to a relationship… Her certainty in them is absolutely amazing. So breaking up now would hurt her so much. (I focused mostly on Tim here because I struggle to see a reason for Lucy to break up. At least, not if this is related to her career, be it undercover work or her promotion).

Now, that's not to say that it can't be executed in a beautiful way. Sometimes breaking up can help strengthen a relationship, as odd as it might seem. Sometimes it gets too much and taking a step back can offer a new perspective and a fresh start on healthier grounds. Just like sticking in a relationship at all costs can be very damaging and toxic. I mean, take a look at Lucy and Tim in their last respective relationships… They stayed well past the expiration date. But I, personally, would rather see them work this out together. See them 'fight' and argue, like they've done in the past… that very same thing they didn't do with Ashley and Chris. See them all vulnerable with each other, like they've also done in the past. I honestly think the writers could pull off the angst and drama with this storyline, without having to resort to a breakup. But again, that's only my preference :)

#ask & ye shall receive #the rookie #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford

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gsirvitor · 8 months

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Can you explain this, if society was created to cater to men. Then why in America Black men had to fight tooth and nail for civil rights on paper about 60 years ago?

Feminism feel very classist to me, am I crazy?

First, I'm going to explain society.

Society was never created to cater to men, it was created to help survive the harsh world we came to exist in, then again, that isn't even true due to the fact that society wasn't created, it's a natural evolution of our social dynamics.

Groups of hunter gatherers banded together in the same way Chimps and other apes do, we are a social species who have never existed outside of our societies, even at our most primitive.

We went from wandering nomadic peoples to sedentary villages, towns and cities because we developed agriculture and animal husbandry, now, to protect our tribe from others we would use those in society most today would find abhorrent, the violent and strong men of society.

As we progressed these men came into positions of power because of the protection they could offer, more powerful protectors could allow societies to grow larger and more affluent, while those who couldn't were generally wiped out or were relegated to other roles in society.

The need for strong men is readily apparent, as the old saying goes, hard times created strong men, these strong men create good times.

Strong does not just mean physically strong, these men make easy times because they take responsibility and will make it a point to not only improve their own lives, but that of others. Thus, creating good times in the process

It is those in society, who take the good times as granted and have chosen to abandon responsibility, duty and so on, that create hard times.

The men of the past knew that society was not needed to protect them, but what they cared for, such as women and children, why is this the case?

It is innate for men to lead and be the protectors. It is our most basic biological instinct, this is why men are protective of their loved ones.

And can even be territorial, explaining why we are competitive towards other guys who might threaten our position in our jobs, society and relationships.

Society was built for the betterment of what men love and cherish, to protect what we find precious, the advent of law is a expression of this.

Sorry if I'm rambling.

Now onto your questions.

The reason why black men had to fight tooth and nail 60+ years ago for equal rights was because of Democrats, you see in 1870 the 15th amendment was ratified, which ensured that all men regardless of race could vote.

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

Southern Democrat states opposed this and prevented blacks from voting by instituting literacy tests and grandfather laws, then well, Jim Crow, in Northern states blacks could vote since 1870.

It wasn't until 1964 that the 24th amendment was passed and they could vote in Southern and other, now Democrat states.

Feminists, or should I say Suffragists, opposed black women getting the vote alongside them, so due to Democrat racism both black men and women were denied the vote in Democrat areas, especially since these same Suffragists, such as a one Susan B. Anthony and her friends, used black women to work their vinyards.

Feminism is exceedingly classist, and has a history of racism and sexism, along with terrorism, but we won't get into that.

Now to end this with some quotes from the mother of women's suffrage;

“I will cut off this right arm of mine before I will ever work or demand the ballot for the Negro and not the woman,” - Susan B. Anthony

“What words can express her (the white woman’s) humiliation when, at the close of this long conflict, the government which she had served so faithfully held her unworthy of a voice in its councils, while it recognized as the political superiors of all the noble women of the nation the negro men just emerged from slavery, and not only totally illiterate, but also densely ignorant of every public question.” - Susan B. Anthony

“The old anti-slavery school says women must stand back and wait until the negroes shall be recognized. But we say, if you will not give the whole loaf of suffrage to the entire people, give it to the most intelligent first. If intelligence, justice, and morality are to have precedence in the government, let the question of the woman be brought up first and that of the negro last.” - Susan B. Anthony

You're not crazy, Democrats have just never changed.

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acapelladitty · 9 months

Text

Riddler/Reader: Applied Physics

Summary - Restrained against the wall and unable to escape, you find yourself playing willful victim to the Riddler's latest machine.

This commission from the lovely @doctorvondooms, was deliciously fun to write and I'm thrilled to share it. Also available on A03

Pinned into place opposite his work desk, the restraints which wrapped around your thighs to keep them spread and pinned against the wall were surprisingly comfortable; the thick bands of padded metal allowing your weight to rest atop them effortlessly without digging into your skin too deeply.

Your wrists suspended overhead, his ropework is as inescapable as ever as your arms hang uselessly from a hook in the wall, bound into a tight, praying gesture. The nylon rope, a lurid green which had you biting your tongue from making a cheeky comment, wound around your arms in a pretty pattern to keep them together as you glance up at them with an appreciative hum.

"Brilliant, isn't it?" Edward's smug voice catches you unaware and your eyes flick to his position as he moves to stand before you, filling the space between your prone frame and his work desk. "A perfectly crafted machine, designed to be a custom fit to reward and punish wanton little whores who insist on interrupting important work time."

Unapologetic as a nervous smile tugs at your lips, you can barely make out the metallic mechanism which sits beneath your spread legs due to the thick, dark silicone of the cock which is pointing directly at your throbbing cunt; the heft of it commanding your attention as your back arches off the wall.

"While you enjoy your little ride, I will be completing some very intricate mechanical designs which a man of my brilliant stature finds necessary to produce from time to time."

His body inches towards you, the soft crack of a lid alerting you to the bottle of lubricant which sits in his hands as he pours a little out and bends, presumably to coat his machine for an easier entry.

As he stands, you push forward from the wall - as far as the restraints would allow - to capture his lips in a filthy kiss. He tastes of coffee and, despite his clear surprise, he allows the kiss to continue for a long moment, his blunt teeth nipping at your lower lip until he pulls away.

"Whore." He accuses but there's no anger in his gaze and a very prominent bulge in his grease-stained slacks as he pushes his thinning hair back with the green goggles which are never too far from his head. "Regardless, everything appears to be in order."

Retaking his seated position at the desk, his fingers press on the small remote which sits off to the side of papers he plans to focus on.

Immediately a faint whirring comes from the machine beneath you and your breath hitches in anticipation; wetness pooling against your slit as you sit, fully exposed and revelling in the shame of the arousal which curls within your gut.

The tip of the silicone threatens your hole and you exhale deeply as your body relaxes to accept it. The material feels wonderfully cool against your heated skin as it pushes within you at a snail pace, allowing you to acclimatise to the punishing girth inch by teasing inch. Your teeth grit against the inhumane stretch as a mewl of discomfort breaks free of your lips.

Hearing the noise, Edward glances up from his papers, the small pencil in his hand pausing its frantic scribble.

"Ah, ah, ah." He tuts, disappointment colouring his tone as he wipes the graphite from his fingers to his off-white tanktop. "Surely your fragile little body isn't ready to give up already? We've barely even started."

Determined to not give an inch, you bite back the hiss which builds in your throat as the almost unbearable thickness stops its progression and begins to pull free, the friction against your walls sparking a deep pleasure which makes you clench your fingers together in their bound position.

The lube he has applied to the length did its job well as it allows the machine to set a steady pace which was in equal parts torturously slow and wickedly intense as it forces you to feel every movement. Your exposed tits jiggle slightly as your body shakes in place, a phantom ache in your nipples making you wish that Edward's fingers or teeth were in the fray, pinching them with his usual viciousness.

Edward gaze having returned to his work, you watch as his finger almost absent-mindedly trails along the desk to tap at the small button on the remote control.

The effect is instant as the silicon dildo picks up pace, now moving in a relentlessly smooth motion as it pistons in and out of your greedy hole. There's something deliciously shameful about your position, legs spread and unable to close in such as way that nothing is hidden from easy viewing, including your clit as it throbs with anticipation - awaiting a stimulation which wasn't on the cards.

Pleasure builds steadily as each stroke brushes your most sensitive spots with an almost cruel precision, the machine needing to take no pause for breath or to regain stamina. It's stunning in its ferocity, in the lack of human warmth or care which it affords you as you sit like a piece of meat, total victim to the whims of the man who is visibly pretending to keep his attention on his work while stealing glances every few moments to watch you writhe in place.

Another button press and something guttural snaps free of your lips as the machine picks up pace. It's brutal and unforgiving in a way that makes it difficult for your breath to regulate as freshly stimulated nerves alight across your punished cunt. Your fingers scramble against their restraints but it provides no relief as your first orgasm creeps up without mercy.

Riding the wave of pleasure, noises that exist in the space between moans and stuttered pleas for help fill the space around you as your head slams back against the wall, the onslaught of relentless overstimulation quickly growing unbearable.

Unseen due to your eyes being squeezed shut in desperation, Edward watches your torment with a predatory expression; his gaze sharp and his features twisted into open hunger. One hand taps away at the remote control which keeps his machine whirring away at a punishing pace while the other hand appears suspiciously absent but no less busy as it seems to have disappeared below his work desk.

The quiet of the room is long abandoned. Your broken grunts for mercy pairing sweetly with the soft huffs and growls of pleasure that slip free of Edward's lips as he watches you suffer at the hands of the machine that he so kindly deigned to provide for you. It was a casual symphony that would be ongoing for many, many minutes to come. To last until Edward was satisfied with his observations and the relentless pleasure-turned-torture had long since fried your mind into the foolish mush that he often claimed it to be.

#riddler x reader #riddler #edward nygma #Edward nygma x reader #edward nigma #riddler x you #riddler fic #edward nigma x reader #arkham riddler #arkham eddie

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17snifflesandsnzes · 2 days

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😩🤧👃✨💦❤️😳🕯

For Seungcheol and Jeonghan please

This was so long but so much fun to write!! Thank you for requesting so many interesting prompts!! I hope you enjoy~ 🫶💕

😩: Do they tend to sneeze just once or twice, or multiple times? Do they have fits frequently or rarely? Does how many times they sneeze depend on the cause?

🤧: What does their sneeze sound like? (Description, spelling, or both!)

👃: In general, how sensitive is their nose? Can something like a certain flower or smell make them sneeze even if they’re not allergic to it? Do they sneeze a lot on average, or not very much? Does their nose twitch a lot, or barely ever at all?

✨: What would be the best way for someone to induce them? Feathers, rolled-up tissue, or something else? How much stimulation would it take for them to start sneezing? Would inducing produce just one or two sneezes from them, or multiples?

💦: How wet are their sneezes? Do they spray barely at all, or are you gonna need an umbrella? Do they try to cover at all, or just let it go? Do they sniffle a lot when they’re sick or allergies are bugging them?

❤️: What’s your absolute favorite scenario for them? It can be anything, sickness, allergies, or something else entirely!

😳: Are they embarrassed by their sneezes, or do they just not really care? Do they apologize after sneezing? Do they say “sorry!” or “excuse me!” or anything like that? If they’re embarrassed about it, why?

🕯: Are they allergic to other things? Dust, animals, perfumes, certain fragrances? Anything that might be considered “out of the ordinary” to be allergic to? How bad are those allergies?

Choi Seungcheol:

😩: Seungcheol usually sneezes at least twice. This really depends on the cause, though. If he has a cold, he would have fits often of about 4-5 sneezes. This usually drains his energy completely. But if he's having an allergic reaction, he'll sneeze in fits of 2. If he's just sensitive to a scent, he'll sneeze only once but multiple times.

🤧: Seungcheol sneeze can be described as HARSH. Like, really harsh. It tears at his throat and usually brings irritated tears to his eyes. His sneeze is also really forceful and saps a lot of his energy. But if he's sick, eventually his sneezes just get weaker and progressively more wet as his energy drains after every sneeze. I would spell it something like "hh'HKtCHuHh!-"

👃: Seungcheol has rhinitis, and his nose is pretty sensitive in general. He's also photic, so going out in the sun usually causes him to sneeze. He's pretty allergic to dust as well, causing the members to pay close attention to their dorm and how clean it is. He is really likely to smeeze at least once if he's in proximity to a strong scent, regardless of his allergies.

✨️: If you wanted to induce Seungcheol, the best way to do so would probably be a feather. Or something thin like a bobby pin, maybe? Again, Seungcheol's nose is pretty sensitive, so he would sneeze after just a little bit of stimulation. Inducing him would probably be able to get a fit of at least 3 sneezes. His induced sneezes would also be very messy for sure and would make him slightly lightheaded.

💦: Seungcheol's sneezes are generally wet. Not as wet as, maybe, Chan's sneezes but wet. He is generally really good at covering when he sneezes. But if he's really sick, he tends to just give up, and the members don't really mind as they know he's suffering.

❤️: One of my favourite Seungcheol scenarios is definitely him getting emotional while having a cold. Maybe because he feels guilty for getting sick when the members are working hard, or maybe it's because he really craves his members' love. After all, the members mean the most to him in the world. Maybe Soonyoung, Jihoon, Jeonghan, or Joshua are his caretakers? It's just a really sweet headcanon I have.

😳: Seungcheol isn't embarrassed by his, per say, but he does find it slightly annoying, sneezing in front of his members. Mostly because he likes to appear strong. But he isn't exactly embarrassed by his sneeze. After he sneezes, he'll probably not say anything, and if someone blesses him, he'll probably just thank them quietly.

🕯: Seungcheol is allergic to hella allergic to dust. He's also pretty allergic to scented products such as candles, hair dyes, and sometimes some kinds of creams or soaps. This is why the members always inform him before buying something with a strong scent. He gets kinda embarrassed when he can't dye his hair a certain color or his members can't buy a certain product because of his allergies, but his members always assure him that it's fine.

Yoon Jeonghan:

😩: Jeonghan almost always sneezes just once. He isn't one of the sneezier members of the group, and he very rarely sneezes more than once. That only happens when he's sick. His allergies usually cause him to sneeze rapidly, and he might have fits of 3 sneezes at most.

🤧: Jeonghan's sneeze is kinda cough-like but wetter. His sneezes are very soft and quiet, and the members might not even notice that he sneezed, sometimes. The stronger a cold is, the wetter the sneezes. I would spell it something like "hh'IktChuhH!"

👃: Jeonghan's nose isn't really that sensitive. He is mildly photic and would probably sneeze if there's a bright enough light in front of him, but other than that, he doesn't really have any other sensitivities.

✨️: The way to induce Jeonghan would definitely be feathers. But with Jeonghan, you'll have to induce him for a longer time to finally get him to sneeze. That's because his nose gets really tickly when induced, but it takes a long time for him to actually sneeze. Once he starts sneezing, though, he'll probably have fits of about 3 sneezes every 5 mins.

💦: Jeonghan's sneezes aren't that wet. When he isn't sick, his sneezes stay generally dry, even with his allergies. But when he is sick, his sneezes definitely get wetter. He's usually pretty good at covering because he doesn't want the other members to get sick.

❤️: One of my favourite scenarios for Jeonghan is definitely him being sick during song recordings. We all know that Jeonghan is one of the members who has a hard time recording. So him being sick on top of that, getting emotional because he can't do his best and Jihoon comforting are all things I think about often.

😳: Jeonghan isn't embarrassed about his sneeze at all. He just accepts it. Even if he has allergies, he just accepts that he's gonna be sneezy and doesn't really get embarrassed often. If someone (Joshua) blesses him, he'll thank them but won't mention it.

🕯: Jeonghan doesn't have that many allergies. But he is REALLY allergic to perfumes. He doesn't really wear regular perfumes due to his allergies, but since his members wear a lot of them, they always have to make sure that Jeonghan doesn't feel too badly. This is especially true with Mingyu, who is one of the members who wears a lot of perfumes.

Hope you enjoyed!!

#seventeen #svt #scoups #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #ksnz #idol snz #snz #snz headcanons #snz hcs

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mslanna · 5 months

Text

A Lesson In Patience

A lesson In Patience up on AO3

Raphael is horribly bad in bed. But he wants to impress somebody with his prowess. Who is Tav to refuse their favourite fiend help?

"Alright, what have I told you about people being individuals?" Tav crosses their arms and looks down at the devil crouched between their legs.

"That they are and they like different things," Raphael replies slightly bored.

"Right and how do you find out if your lady love likes what you are doing?"

"I watch for her reactions." The devil clearly considers this a waste of his time.

"And what signs are those?" Tav waits for a reply that doesn't come. "Alright. I'll show you. Get back down there."

Raphael lowers his head, slipping his tongue between Tav's leg. It is a pleasing sensation, soft and – offering. Then the tip of his tongue finds their clit. Tav exhales slowly as the devil works them. He is getting better at it.

"Okay, let's say, this is feels really good for your girl, she might do this." Tav thrusts their hips up and Raphael sucks up their whole pussy in return. "Excellent save. Yes. Go for it, more intense, not necessarily with more pressure. Oh, yeah. That does it."

Tav takes a moment to calm their body's reaction. "On the other hand, she may just moan. That is good. She may whimper." Tav displays the sound as well. "That is very good because you are hitting a nerve and she is trying to keep it together. Watch out for hints of pain though. Not everybody is into that."

"Unlikely." Raphael raises his head to reply, mouth dripping and puckered in objection.

"Trust me on this one. Not everybody is and you cannot make them. Not while you're still in the impressing phase. Anyway," Tav pushes his head back over their clit. "Some people freeze up when things are really to their liking. Like this."

They hold very still while Raphael circles their clit with his tongue. It sends quite an amount of desire through their body by now. Some day soon these little sessions would have to end. Not that starting them was a good idea in first place.

But the devil wants to impress in bed and far be it from Tav to let a hapless guy flail and fumble. Women deserved better. And it wasn't as if he'd ever bed them. Which, considering how this started, might have been a blessing. Not anymore though. Tav lets out a long sigh.

"I assume this means the performance is going well?" Raphael props himself up.

"Indeed." Tav scrambles to return to the task at hand. "Remember what I said about sensitive skin and- ah, yes." Tav inhales sharply. "Nipples. Regardless of gender, those are very sensitive so use them well.

"To think you barely reacted," Raphael purrs, obviously happy with his progress. "No more staged responses, dear. Let me take it from here."

"We've been over this, Raphael." Tav cups his face with a hand, relishing in the soft tingle of his hair. "Getting me off doesn't mean anything for you lady. Make her walk the edge for a while before you start actually fucking and you should be fine however short it lasts."

"How do I know this even works?" He moves closer, face inches from Tav's. "Are you afraid I'll find you out?"

"If this worked on me, it would have worked already," Tav insists, concealing the main reason why it didn't work; even though devil dick was of a fortunate shape where g-spots were concerned. Tav pushed Raphael's head away with both hands.

"We covered human and devil shape, do not forget the tail, it may be a true asset." Tav pets the body part in question when it rises beside their head. "Do you intend to show her your ascended form, too?"

"I don't think she will like that."

"Ah. Alright. Her loss." Tav shifts in devil's arms.

But Raphael picks up on something. His eyes narrow, blaze increasing. "You consider it – doable?"

"Well," Tav swallows. "This isn't about me."

"Indulge me, for a moment." There is a subtle shift in his words. "The huge fiery fiend that can snap you in half with one claw?"

Tav has to swallow again because, hot damn. Yes. "Can't see what's not to like?" They confess under the burning gaze of the devil. "Huge monster, searing fire barely contained by black exoskeleton, skull faces, mane of fire and wingspan of a whole fucking house. Mind you, considering assumed size it may take some – work, to get it in."

"It will, yes." The words roll from Raphael's lips like velvet gravel.

"Anyway." Tav licks their lips which it is surely prompted by rising nervousness. "A moot point considering where you are headed."

"Going to a destination doesn't mean you cannot make stops along the way." Hunger drips from the words and the devil grips Tav's arms with strong hands. In the moment it takes Tav to blink, he transforms.

Tav swallows at the fiend before them. It's wings take up the whole room. Long claws curl around their arms and where the devil fit snugly between their legs, the ascended form presses them wide almost painfully. Three skull leer down at them, crowned by fire.

"Accelerated breathing, widened pupils," a fingers forces Tav's mouth open and slips its talon inside, "dry mouth." Raphael cites their own signs of arousal back at them. He leans down until Tav's head is caught between the mandible framing his face. The talon retracts from their mouth and wanders down their chest.

Tav gasps as it caresses its path over their belly and between their legs.

"Panting, wetness." The claw moves between Tav's folds before dipping into their cunt. "Whining, without pain. So far. I think I will take my chances."

Tav can't reply because bones close against their lips and a rough tongue forces its way into their mouth. So they reach for the fiend instead, hands grasping on the wiry surface of the burning body. But the ascended form it too big and Tav's arms reach barely to its waist, still far from the desired cock.

Raphael leans back, surveying his work so far. Tav squirms in his grip, breath heavy and interspersed with small whines. If he had know that it was a simple matter of shape. "On the edge until they are desperate with need, you said." Dark amusement laughs in his words.

Tav groans when he slips them onto their back, holding their upper body down with one hand easily as his head presses down between their legs. Teeth graze the sensitive skin, long canines digging deep into soft flesh. Tav wails when the hot tongue joins in and slips up into their body.

They taught Raphael well to look out for the signs. He digs in a little deeper, caresses a little rougher and a content rumble rises from the fiend's chest. He will take his time and whatever desperation washes over them, Tav brought it onto themself.

Beat, Tav thrusts their hips up into the relentless mouth. It earns them a deep lap and the tip of Raphael's infernal tail in their mouth. He paid close attention. Tav sucks on the tail as if it would ease their need or hasten Raphael. This would not end soon and not without several layers of desperation.

But as the fiend bears down, Tav doesn't even care.

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #raphael is bad in bed #and tav is not interested #ascended fiend raphael #changes everything #mel writes fanfic #sleazy second-hand car dealer #convicted monsterfucker mel

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ae-azile · 2 months

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In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.

Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!

If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:

1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.

2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.

So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).

Kim: I also see him as demisexual or sex positive ace. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.

As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.

Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂

Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.

Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.

Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.

Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.

Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.

Pete: demisexual, biromantic

Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.

Kinn and Chay : gay and gay

Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.

Thank you for the ask! 🩵

#kimchay fic #kimchay fanfic #progression spoilers #progression ask #armkhun fic

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hp-queer-villains-fest · 1 year

Text

Now Prompting!

Welcome to the Harry Potter Queer Villains Fanworks Festival!

A chance to explore your darkside, lesser acknowledged characters, and many rarepairs in a queer positive setting!

This fanworks festival centres around the villains of Harry Potter with queer headcanons and prompts.

Have you ever wanted to explore the story of Herpo the Foul under a transmasc lens? No, well that's not all! What about tackling a fun, lesbian fic about Morgan(a) Le Fay? Still no. That's alright, let's find something else. I know! Have you considered the lore of Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor from the perspective of forbidden lovers? Not at all... Well I bet you could be now! But, I get it, you want something a bit more exciting. In that case, there's always exploring Grindelwald's life, love, and rise to power!

That should have your attention now. You can write or draw prompts like these and MORE in the Harry Potter Queer Villains Fanworks Festival!

Schedule

April 25th, 2023 - May 13th 2023: Prompting

May 6th, 2023 - May 27th, 2023: Claiming

June 3rd, 2023 - July 3rd, 2023: Posting

July 3rd, 2023 - July 10th, 2023: Overtime (reserved for anyone needing extensions)

July 11th, 2023: Author Reveals

Guidelines

▪ This is a 16+ festival, where only 18+ participants are allowed to post sexually explicit material. Anyone who lies about their age are subject to being banned from future festivals.

▪ Promotion of homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, sexism, anti-semitism, fatphobia, other anti-LGBTQIA+ rheteric, etc is NOT allowed. Keep in mind and be careful of condeming any characters because of gender, race, sex, orientation, culture, disability, weight, etc.

▪ Anyone can prompt or claim for this fest; you do not have to do one to do the other.

▪ Self Prompting will be allowed when the claiming time comes.

▪ This is an anonymous festival. Therefore, talk of claimed prompts isn't encouraged in public.

▪ All fanworks should focus on a "villainous" character from the Harry Potter series.

Characters should be one of the following to constitute as a villain:

- An antagonist of the protagonists in the main series or in a spin-off. This includes but isn't limited to Voldemort, his Death Eaters, Grindelwald, his Acolytes, etc.

- Be part of Wizarding history and have a legacy for being evil in someway. This includes but isn't limited to Herpo the Foul, Morgan(a) Le Fay, Salazar Slytherin, the Bloody Baron, etc.

Yes, this does mean that certain morally dubious characters such as Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Regulus Black count as villains for the sake of this festival. For the sake of simplicity, however, Albus Dumbledore does not count as a villain, regardless of his many messy and shitty actions within the main series and spin-off, Fantastic Beasts. However, characters who don't count as a villain under these parameters can still be prevalent in your fanwork. In fact, they can even be the second half of the main ship, but the main character who does count as a villain should be the focus of any story or art.

• Author Expectations - Fanfictions should have a minimum of 2,000 words. Authors must have an archive of our own account to add their fic to the collection. Additionally, fics should be new and unique to the fest. No add ons to previously posted works in progress are allowed. Sequels and prequels may be allowed so long as they can be read without needing to have read the previous part(s) of the story. Fanfictions should be tagged and warned for accordingly. "Author chose not to use Archive Warnings" is not an acceptable warning. Fics should not be posted elsewhere (ie on Tumblr, Twitter, etc) until after reveals. Fanfictions should be edited for SPaG to the best of the author's abilities. If you're in need of a beta, you may join our discord and ask for help!

• Artwork at any stage that the artist is happy sharing it in is acceptable. Artists must either have an archive of our own account to add their art to the collection or reach out to the fest host so they can possibly send their art to the author of their prompt, in order to post the art along with the fic. Additionally, all art should be new and unique to the fest. Art should also not be posted elsewhere (ie on Tumblr, Twitter, etc) until after reveals.

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#harry potter fest #harry potter fanworks fest #harry potter queer villains fanworks festival #harry potter queer villains #harry potter fanart #harry potter fanfictions

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spicesweet · 1 month

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tips on how to stay motivated in your fitness journey?

my first step was figuring out what "fitness journey" I truly wanted to take, which for me happened by accident. I tried lots of gyms over the years and I think the longest I've kept a membership was 9 months; I never fell in love with the process, hated going, hated the atmosphere, hated being seen all the time, hated having the trainers coming up to me and telling me what to do. I think a lot of people unfortunately go through this same issue and, when they can't get to that "honeymoon phase" with their gyms, they feel like fitness as a whole isn't for them; it was certainly that way for me, I thought I was just some fat lazy idiot doomed to never get better because I wasn't one of those girls who just looooove to get down to their neighborhood gym. but then when the pandemic came, and gyms weren't even an option, I decided to give yoga a try, and I discovered that yoga was the opposite of everything I hated about gyms: it was individual, quiet, at home, didn't require expensive equipment... and I finally fell in love with the whole thing. I was just barking up the wrong tree the whole time.

so the first tip is: don't be fooled into thinking that you need to get down to a gym and follow a personal trainer's routine to get fit. what matters is moving, so find what kind of movement makes you feel alive and delighted, what kind of movement really gets you going, and expand on that. if you insist on a method you don't like, you'll never be able to create a routine around it, to build a long-lasting relationship with it.

the second tip is to not consider it a X-months long commitment, but rather a lifestyle change. don't do fitness as a way to lose Y pounds in Z weeks because summer is coming or because you have a big party. people need to keep moving until they can't anymore, and you should consider a fitness routine as more than a means for a cosmetic change. sure, wanting to lose weight and change your shape is the champion of reasons why people get into it, but you need to move anyway regardless of whether or not you're satisfied with your body's appearance. treating movement and fitness as part of your lifestyle will make you more comprehensive and patient with the process, it'll ease anxiety, pressure and your inner saboteur, and make your goals more realistic, because rather than thinking you need to be hardcore for a couple of months to get to a certain result, you'll be aiming at a forever deal, and you'll understand that progress takes time.

another tip is: if you are in fact starting it due to being overweight and wanting to change that, don't expect change to come easy and fast, and don't expect to simply flick an internal switch that will magically make you not do any of the bad habits that turned you overweight (if your case is not genetic/pathological). if you've been a sedentary overeater for years, you won't suddenly become a salad-loving marathon-runner just because you got some nice hot yoga pants and pilates gear. it'll take a long time to re-shape your habits, your mindset, your routine, your body. I'm speaking fully from experience as someone who tried for a whole ass decade to go from sedentary overeater to little bird in a week, so trust me on that.

consistency is key, but also patience. you just have to bite the bullet on this one. if you don't get patient, you'll just burn out, give in to frustration and impulsiveness, and the results won't come.

and, I mean, this one is not really a tip because it's not as simple as choosing (which I also know from experience) but I'll say it anyway: starving doesn't work. starving is not a sustainable weight loss tool, starving is self-harm, plain and simple. there are girls reading this right now who are hurting from hunger pangs this very moment and still gaining; I follow a bunch of them and I see them struggling every single day with shame and horror as they step on a scale after 24+ hours of not eating and still see the number go up. if it was as simple as that, just shutting your mouth and not eating for days, honestly, edblr wouldn't be full of overweight and depressed girls. I'm not trying to be rude here, I'm literally just saying it how it is, from the perspective of someone who still struggles with disordered eating patterns and intrusiveness.

so to sum it up: find out what works for you ☆ be consistent but slow, steady, patient ☆ keep in mind that old habits die hard, but you can work hard too ☆ don't expect a malnourished and weak body and deeply depressed and stressed mind to be able to work hard ☆ all your efforts need to come from a place of love, because hate burns fast and ineffectively as I've written about here.

I hope this helps, and as usual, come back if you want to talk some more about it . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

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journey-to-the-attic · 7 months

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i'd love to hear your thoughts on the remaining three (for the Sin Thing) even if it is just you pulling thoughts out of a hat

alright, then here we are! levi and belphie aren't in any particular order, i think they could go either way around - but lucifer is meant to come last.

warning long post ahead. now let's go!!!

levi:

levi is an interesting one because despite being the most insecure of the brothers, i think he's actually one of the most comfortable in himself as a demon

which actually relates to his insecurity i think - since he thought of himself as a 'useless angel', it follows that a 'useless angel' would make a 'good demon'

plus his arc in nb s1 is all about him coming to terms with his choice to follow lucifer, and deciding he doesn't regret it, which i feel would contribute to that

so building on all this... the idea is that levi's insecurity often makes him compare himself to his brothers, and the idea is that - having watched his brothers recover from their Sin Thing and really come into their own as avatars, his envy makes him feel inadequate all over again

he's not even a good demon anymore because they all make better demons than him, he's certainly not a good brother because he's been totally useless in saving any of them so far, and he was a useless angel back then too

his symptoms would initially just make him more reclusive, so it takes the others a while to notice, which only exacerbates his thoughts

thinking of the jokey comic i made on this topic though... i think levi's solution would actually work in this way

sitting him down and seriously talking to him would make him panic - he doesn't want to confront these feelings, and he's bound to convince himself that any comfort is insincere, just trying to make him feel better

whereas just shocking him so much that it grounds him would be much more likely to make him think more rationally

though i think i'd take the situation a bit more seriously

so levi has a kind of explosive fit, then leaves the house of lamentation - hides at the bottom of a lake, it's raining like hell, similar set-up to the comic

rather than standing to the side and yelling at him, though, ik wades into the lake and enters his inner world there

levi's inner world would be some kind of fantasy setting - a performative feel-good hero's journey story, except all the npcs keep making odd little snide side-comments (these are his thoughts peeking through)

ik goes through this setting deadpool-style. she is not taking ANY of it seriously, she makes fun of all the monsters, cracks jokes instead of engaging in dramatic dialogue, etc.

the idea is that she's just kind of batting away these 'i suck so much' ideas because they're not even slightly possibly true to her

she's 'breaking the fourth wall' until the levi in the inner world 'becomes self-aware' - i.e. finally gets grounded enough to take what she has to say to heart

so he wakes up in the lake, the rain stops; the other brothers are waiting for them

supportive brother moment <3

the key thing for ik is that she's not expressing he's 'enough' for her, but just that she wants him by her side, which i think is a sentiment levi would prefer

the idea of being 'enough' is such that he'll always convince himself that he isn't, but knowing that ik still wants to stay with this loser of a big brother regardless of any of that comforts him

belphie:

now initially i did think to connect belphie's Sin Thing to lilith

but it ended up making his whole deal too similar to beel's - with the same idea that he represses/has a bad reaction to his sin because of shame, the idea being that he was too idle - too 'slothful' - to save his sister

and, to be honest, i think it's kinda a discredit to belphie to center all of his character conflicts around lilith

is lilith's death a defining moment for his character? yep! can he have emotional hang-ups and encounter obstacles in his progress that aren't to do with it? also yes!

(also ngl i'm just kind of sick of lilith and her whole deal. don't tell anyone)

so instead i'm going for the idea of belphie feeling 'left behind'

ig it does connect to lilith but it's more of a residual thing - it's not really to do with his grief for her death directly, more to do with his own Bad coping mechanisms

the idea is just that he feels like they all move on too quickly

they pick themselves up so quickly after their Sin Things, they were up on their feet so soon after falling, they seemed to forget everything that happened to them in the war so fast

this is once again to do with the idea that belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss

(which resulted in devastating consequences in the original timeline)

the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all

it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

and since belphie doesn't know how to heal from these things, he just represses and forgets about it - and he becomes increasingly afraid that the others will get too far ahead to catch up and they themselves recover

to be fair, it's not entirely his brothers' fault; belphie himself is also used to being complacent, and so hasn't actively sought out healing either

it's kind of similar to levi actually, in that they both feel bitter about the others' progress - except levi turns his feelings against the others (envy), while belphie internalises and blames himself (his sloth stops him from working to keep up)

belphie's frightened of moving on, too - he doesn't want to tie the pain to himself forever, but he feels like it's wrong to forget, too

and all this compounds to indecision and a refusal to linger on it

so when the sloth takes over he defaults to "i can't do anything, nothing will change, just lie down and go to sleep"

but he also can't bring himself to sleep - so instead, he goes around incredibly sluggishly, putting as little energy as possible into anything, not caring about anything else that happens around them

then once his brothers finally wrestle him to bed, he goes completely still and doesn't wake up

belphie's inner world would just be a completely empty void, with him at the centre, completely alone with his thoughts - forced to confront it all, but unable to because he doesn't know how

so when ik gets there, what she says to him would be similar to what she does in chapter 40 of jtta - reassurance that it's normal to grieve, to feel anguish, that it's not his fault he doesn't know how to deal, that he will one day be able to carry it and he will deserve to do so

apart from that, i think she'd just sit there with him, let him turn it all over in his mind, let it out, cry like he's been stopping himself from doing until now

belphie's been tempted to simply focus all his anger on humanity, blaming them for the war and everything, but having made fast friends with ik when she first gets nightbrought - this is also proof to him that he isn't governed by his grief

also, it's probably especially important to ik that she do this right - after all, in her original timeline, belphie didn't get this help, and in the long run ended up killing her because of it

lucifer:

it's generally the trend that lucifer comes last with these things

i did change this for the pact order in jtta, but that was because i felt it made more sense, given the different direction lucifer's arc takes to canon

here though, it does work (with my own reasoning for lucifer's sin thing) for him to come last

now. all of the brothers have self-worth issues on some level or another, but lucifer's in particular are on a whole other level

he thinks he's always right. he hates himself more than any being in the universe. he can't fathom being second-best. he knows he is awful. he thinks he's better than everyone. everyone is a far better being than him. he's strong and useless and he must be chosen first even though he doesn't deserve it

i think lucifer would've known he'd go through this Sin Thing from the very beginning, but his brothers are fairly convinced he'll either fight it off immediately or never have it happen in the first place

it's a constant thing with him, he's never as capable as the image he projects, and because he hates letting it fail - he doesn't reject the idea that he'd be immune

and i think part of him would actually be a little convinced; surely he of all demons would be able to resist this stupid force?

lucifer can be extremely close-minded sometimes, and this is working against him right now because he hasn't realised that all of that 'i'll be fine' spiel is the pride talking

so when he starts feeling it happen, he sort of spirals, which only exacerbates the effect - especially since he instinctively isolates him with his work, not wanting his brothers to see him like this

what makes it worse is that he thinks "didn't i learn my lesson? didn't i learn to stop doing this? if mammon didn't think to go to ik, and if ik hadn't come to me, i wouldn't have accepted any help. i would've tried to do it all myself, and we might've lost satan in the process. we might've lost our whole family in the process. i was entirely useless for whole ordeal."

and he knows what he should do, but he can't because his pride is in control - what's more, he feels it's his own fault that he can't stop it, which only lets the sin dig its claws in deeper

plus, because lucifer's so well-practised at keeping this facade up, none of his brothers notice what's happened for about a week

mammon can tell something is off, but lucifer squarely rejects his offers of support and brings up his trouble-making in response, which successfully chases him off

i feel like in this case, it's important that lucifer actively accepts ik's help - rather than her just jumping in to get to him, as has been the case with everyone else

she'd have noticed something was up as well, and has been making gentle attempts at asking him what's wrong - which lucifer has brushed off, reasonably naturally

after hearing how he completely rejected mammon's offer of help, though, she decides to throw caution to the winds and goes to see him in his office

lucifer's response is to yell at her

now he's proven himself capable of being a massive bitch before now. however, this is on a whole new level

he's never insulted ik herself before, for example, but with his pride talking he's stooping to levels never before seen

once he's done ik just kind stands there and stares at him blankly

now, this is the SEVENTH GODDAMN TIME ik's had to put up with this sort of thing. fourteen if you count the first round back in the original timeline

she is so tired. so she really can't be blamed for crying

you would not believe the levels of regret lucifer immediately feels

in fact said regret is so strong it actually drowns the pride out for long enough for him to immediately start apologising

ik (very embarrassed by the crying) just kind of shakes her head like "it's fine, it's fine, forget about it, look can you just fucking listen to me"

in this case, there aren't any big dramatic speeches. the fact that ik's still attempting to help him after he just made her (who, famously, basically never cries no matter what happens to her) cry with his own awfulness is enough to snap him out of his funk, for long enough to let the others get through to him

see, mammon, sensing a disturbance as soon as the tears began, crashes into the office soon after that, and the ruckus duly attracts the other brothers

now lucifer's instinct is to go "shit", because now they're seeing that their eldest brother is not infallible

except his brothers' immediate reaction is not shock, or (rightfully, he thinks) disgust, but rather concern

who could've guessed, lucifer? your family fucking loves you

sure, you fucked up (and they're going to scold you for being mean once this is over), but that doesn't make you any less their beloved big brother

lucifer essentially gets saved by a combination of dadcifer instincts and his family's care, which i think is very fitting for him

#answering asks #anon asks #ik gets nightbrought #i completely forgot about the little ds involvement in any of this whoops #well i'll leave that whole deal to canon to sort out #i do kind of like the new lore that they're spirit counterparts to the brothers #but at the same time i don't think it's a necessary addition #(i'm just attached to the idea of them being a massive horde of unionised workers)

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pansyfemme · 3 months

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hey i just found your blog and wanted to let you know that your gender expression is exactly what i want for myself, but i'm so afraid of getting there.

I identified as nonbinary for four years before I started T and soon after that realized I was just a binary trans man. I used to dress pretty feminine a lot of the time, I used to wear a lot of makeup, jewelry, skirts and dresses, etc and I wasn't ashamed of it. I even would dress up in drag sometimes, and I still have all of that stuff. but I also had really severe dysphoria that was so debilitating. when I started T and first began to pass, I gained a bunch of weight and no longer fit a lot of my feminine clothes. And I stopped dressing feminine at all.

For months I was soaking up the euphoria of now passing as male, it was so amazing and such a huge relief. I liked being masculine a lot of the time, I gradually ended up turning into a bear, and I loved that. But eventually I started to miss my old style, I missed wearing makeup and I missed it all. I started wearing earrings again to work, my boss always comments on them that she loves them, and it makes me happy. But it's not enough.

I have really deeply ingrained internalized homophobia, it's probably something I need to work on but right now I have a lot else on my plate. I live in a blue state, in a progressive city, I've never experienced any LGBT hate personally directed at me, but the fear is still there. I'm also terrified of people assuming I'm nonbinary again, because I know with my heart that isn't me. I'm a man, there is no question to my maleness at all to me. It took me a long time to realize that. Even now that I pass, my dysphoria fears are still there, and I fear that dressing how I want to would cause people to misgender me again, but this time as nonbinary instead of female.

I have a bunch of money in gift cards at this one costume/vintage store I got most of my old stuff at, I want to go and revamp my closet with stuff that fits me now, but I'm so afraid now that I pass as male. I'm afraid of the judgmenet, trying to be a feminine man when I am neither skinny nor hairless.

Do you have any words of advice at all? Looking at the photos in your pinned post, you give me so much gender envy. And we're the same age. I wish I could get to where you are but I have so much fear preventing me. Thank you for your time, hope you are having a wonderful day <3

First of all, thank you for such a sweet honest message. It means a lot that I could be someone you think of to seek advice from.

Given your concerns, i cannot tell you that it's going to be easy. I'm also from a progressive city in a blue state, but even there, i get a lot of rude words shouted from cars, laughs at me, and a lot of hurtful statements pretty reguarly. I also have that issue of people assuming im detranstioning or nonbinary. I'm not saying these things to caution you against it, because I continue to dress the way I do regardless of these things, but I want to be fully honest about how I experience going out in public the way I do. I'm lucky enough to have very supportive friends, teachers and classmates, that are both positive towards, and downright thrilled about the way I present.

I feel very similarly towards my maleness. I identified with various labels in middle and highschool, but remained he/him pronouns and leaned masculine until i realized that perhaps I was just a man who enjoyed presenting femininly. The original transition back to dressing feminine happened while i was still identifying as nonbinary, but already on hrt. For a period of time, i decided to present very differently. I was on hrt, but i shaved all my body hair, wore heavy makeup, and i still had my chest at the time, so i essentially presented as what most would percieve as a cis female but continued to use he/him. This wasn't an act of detransiton, it was actually based on consistant bodyshaming i recieved from another trans person in my life. I'm just spelling this out because at different times in my transiton, i have presented as masculine, feminine, androgynous and something in between both before and after medical transiton. I still have days I choose to take on a more masculine apperance in public for various reasons, though I no longer have the ability to pass as a cis woman. I believe that gender presentation is fully fluid, and I've become pretty comfortable moving between different states of being even when my idenity remains static. What you are percieved as externally has very little to do with your internal idenity, and being fluid in presentation doesn't mean your personal identity is fluid.

For me, the best ways I could manage presenting the way I do is the fact that I have a personal network of people who are very confidently supportive of my choices, as well as seeing a regular therapist who encouraged my crossdressing after seeing how happy it made me. You have to be aware that even if you are already visably queer, this will increase it signifigantly. Queer visability can be good, and theres no way to entirely turn off your visability, but understanding that dressing like this can become stressful or anxiety inducing is a big factor. I, for example, never use gendered public restrooms unless i am presenting masculinely. The main positives of dressing this way is that it can feel really genuine. I don't feel like a girl in makeup and skirts, I feel and look like how I am. You'll also notice a decline in people gendering you specifically transmasculinly. Yes, people will assume you're trans, but you will be left to tell people your actual identity. While having they/them used on you can be an issue, I find people ask your pronouns a lot more often when they can't directly assume he/him or she/her. This has led to me gaining a lot of control over my own coming out, and me being able to tell someone my idenity in my words because they can't fit into boxes immediatly. So yes, people may assume you are nonbinary. However, this can manifest in different ways, including people being less likely to assume things as all, if that makes sense.

The issue with being fat and hairy and presenting femininly can manifest in a lot of ways. It's just an assumption that people make that a man who presents femininly must be skinny, hairless, and submissive. The power we have is being able to show people that that isn't reflective of our community. As a guy on here who's gained a lot of following specifically for being a feminine man who is not what people may expect by that description has lead to a lot of people telling me they've experimented a lot more with gender presentation, and that means a lot. I cannot tell you that people will be polite about it. However, I have experienced a lot of love towards me because of those aspects of me as well, and that's really exciting.

I appriciate the ask. sorry it took a few days.

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