#Janeway: Thank you so much Chakotay and only Chakotay for helping get us all out of there <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myenterpriseisparked · 3 years

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The Voyager Bunch

Or, Rascals: Voyager Edition

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Based on this post

This is dedicated to @jellybeansarecool @bizships @emilie786 @joyful-voyager and @subtle-spock for providing ideas, encouragement, and for generally being really awesome people. Also they are the nicest folks ever. Go follow them.

This ain’t my first fanfiction rodeo, but it is my first Star Trek fanfiction rodeo so I beg for your patience. Also, I am perfectly aware that there are some plot holes in here. This is because I am an animal scientist, not a Starfleet physicist/biologist/whateverist. Swiss cheese also has holes and swiss cheese is good so please consider that.

Click here to read on AO3, if you prefer. Thanks for reading!

-----

Despite having only been a captain for a few years, Kathryn Janeway had seen more unusual occurrences, courtesy of the Delta Quadrant, than most Starfleet captains combined. Some days, she felt a little overwhelmed by the summary of the last three years of experiences. Other days, she was grateful for the callouses such challenges had built over her nerves, preparing her to face even the strangest incidents without panicking.

Today was a day to be grateful, because without having seen everything she had seen, the prospect of her Chief Engineer, Chief of Security, Head Helmsman, and most brilliant Ensign being reverted into child-like versions of themselves would have launched her straight into a spiral of panic.

“How-” Janeway paused for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose, “how exactly did this happen?”

“Well, ya see, ‘Lanna and Harry and I were in that shuttle and then this big black thing showed up and we flew into it and there was a big flash and-”

Janeway held a hand up, cutting off the shockingly fast string of prattle. “I think I understand that part, Tom, thank you.” She spoke as gently and patiently as possible. “What I don’t understand is how Tuvok got into this.... predicament.”

She turned toward the tallest of the four children, who stood with his hands behind his back in a way that would have been exactly like Tuvok, if the pre-teen boy weren’t fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and looking around the bridge, open mouthed and starry-eyed. “Tuvok?”

The Vulcan turned toward her. “The shuttle was stuck in the anomaly and the tractor beam wasn’t working, so I rammed my ship into theirs to dislodge it.” Tuvok nearly smiled, which was jarring to see on his features, no matter how much younger he looked. “It worked, but I got sucked into the anomaly too. When we came out the other side, we looked like this.”

He motioned to Tom and B’Elanna, who were standing next to him, both of which appeared to be around the age of 5 or 6. Harry, who looked to be about a year old, was currently tucked into Chakotay’s arms, playing contentedly with the rank bar at the large man’s throat.

Janeway looked the group over, ignoring the humored smiled playing at her first officer’s lips. With a sigh, she turned to the members of her senior officer team that were not currently under the age of 13. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“I would like to run some experiments first, but I am wondering if I can age their DNA back to the correct age in a process similar to the one I used to turn you and Mr. Paris back into humans after the, ah, Warp 10 incident,” The Doctor said.

“That might put their bodies back at the right age,” Kes said, brow furrowing, “but their minds appear to have reverted to their new biological age as well. Will the DNA reversal process fix that?”

The Doctor tilted his head. “I’m unsure. I need more time to research and run simulations.”

Janeway nodded. “Get started on that right away. In the meantime,” she turned back to the children and her commander, “let’s get you four something to eat.”

Neelix jumped to his feet, practically lighting up the room with his enthusiasm. “I’ll fix you kiddos up something real nice!” He dashed over to the door with a wild grin. “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll have the best grilled cheese sandwich you’ve ever smelt!” He saluted the whole room and practically bounced out the door.

Janeway glanced over at Chakotay who, for the first time since he had picked up baby Harry, looked nervous. His worried glance met her own and he tilted his head.

“Well,” Chakotay sighed, “hopefully these guys aren’t as picky of eaters as I was.”

-----

As unappealing as Janeway found Neelix’s cooking to be, it was, apparently, perfect for kids, as evidenced by the unrestrained glee with which Tom, B’Elanna, and Tuvok devoured their sandwiches.

The captain couldn’t help but smile as Tom downed the second half of his sandwich in a few bites and think how the older version of Tom would have been appalled to see himself eating Neelix’s cooking with such enjoyment.

As the older children ate, Janeway found herself spooning some kind of mashed vegetable mix into Harry’s waiting mouth. At first, she was a little uncomfortable with the idea of feeding one of her best officers, but, once she was able to get past the strangeness of the entire situation, she found herself enjoying the funny expressions and eager attitude of the baby in front of her.

“Gosh, he’s such a cute baby.” She said with a grin for the fourth time.

Chakotay leaned over, his shoulder brushing hers as he smiled at Harry. “I’d like to agree with you, Captain, but you keep hogging him so I can’t get a good look.” He turned to look her in the eye, raising his eyebrow teasingly.

She shoved him playfully with her elbow. “You got to hold him earlier in the conference room. It’s my turn.”

“I think your turn ended about ten minutes ago,” he grinned.

“I think I can find something else for you to do if you’re going to take Harry away from me, Commander.” She returned his grin.

“Fine,” Chakotay shook his head with a chuckle, “but I get him later.”

-----

Several hours had passed since lunch and, much to Chakotay’s disappointment, baby Harry was still firmly in Janeway’s possession, perched on her hip and looking for all the world like he belonged there.

Chakotay tried not to think too much about how naturally Kathryn had taken to caring for Harry as he watched her pace the bridge, checking on various scanner readings and flight paths, from his position on the floor by their command chairs. Beside him, Tom and B’Elanna rolled a ball back and forth between them, excitedly chattering about... well... everything.

“Do you think the whales were really THAT big?” Tom spread his arms out to the side.

“Yeah they were!” B’Elanna exclaimed loudly enough that the entire ship could probably hear it. Despite Chakotay’s best efforts to get her to lower her voice, the young girl seemed to only have one volume. “I saw a big fake one in a museum once and it was HUGE!”

“Whoa!” Tom’s eyes widened. “Bigger than this ship?”

B’Elanna tilted her head. “I don’t know, but it was definitely bigger than me!”

The two kids laughed, rolling the ball back and forth faster.

“Hey Tom?”

“What?”

“You’re my best friend!” B’Elanna suddenly reached forward and gave Tom a hug.

Chakotay glanced up at Kathryn to exchange a look of awe before he turned back to the kids on the floor. “But B’E, I thought you just said a few minutes ago that I’m your best friend.” He raised an eyebrow, hiding his smile.

The young girl gave him a look that he had seen far too many times on her older counterpart’s face whenever he said something particularly dumb. “I can have two best friends, duh.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.”

Suddenly, he saw Kathryn’s purposeful walk stop out of the corner of his eye.

“Chakotay,” her voice was even and tense, “where’s Tuvok?”

Eyes widening, Chakotay glanced around the bridge. Tuvok was no where to be seen.

“Chakotay to Tuvok.” He stood as he tapped his commbadge. “Tuvok, please acknowledge.” They waited a moment and, upon receiving no response, moved simultaneously toward the turbolift.

“It’s possible he hasn’t figured out how to use his comm.” Janeway tucked Harry closer to her side as they stepped into the lift. “Computer: locate Tuvok.”

“Unable to comply.”

Janeway gave the ceiling a glare. “Why?”

The computer did not respond.

“Maybe the de-aging effect has made it difficult for the computer to locate him.” Chakotay rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sure he’s alright; he’s probably just exploring the ship; you saw how amazed he was by everything in the conference room earlier.”

She nodded tightly. “Let’s hope so. Where do you think he’s gone?”

“Maybe to the holodeck?”

“Or his quarters.”

“What about the mess hall?”

“He just ate.”

They both paused, mulling it over.

“Alright.” Kathryn straightened. “I’ll check holodeck one and his quarters, you check holodeck two and the mess hall.” She turned back to the lift door. “Holodeck one.”

Chakotay swallowed around the lump in his throat, trying not to think of all the ways a small child could get hurt on a spaceship like Voyager. As the turbolift began to move, Janeway’s badge chirped.

“Kes to the captain.”

Her brow raised as she tapped the emblem. “Go ahead.”

“I think I’ve found something you’re missing.” Kes’s usually lighthearted tone was even lighter, clear amusement seeping through.

Kathryn turned to look Chakotay in the eye, a hopeful smile brightening her face. “I’m on my way.”

-----

Honestly, Janeway was a little ashamed of the fact that she didn’t think to go looking for her best friend among the orchids and other plants in the aeroponics bay, considering his horticulturally-related hobbies. As she and Chakotay stepped into the room, smiles crept onto both of their faces as they watched Tuvok carefully transfer one of Kes’s sprouts to a bigger pot. After patting the soil around the plant firmly, he wiped a hand across his forehead, smearing dirt on his face to match the dirt on his uniform.

Kes smiled up at the command team. “He came down and asked about a hundred questions about our system and then offered to help me with my work while we talked because its ‘more efficient to talk and work than simply talk.’”

Janeway chuckled at Kes’s approximation of Tuvok’s speech pattern. “Thanks for letting us know, Kes.” She reluctantly handed Harry to Chakotay, who flashed his dimples, and crouched next to Tuvok. “Hello there.”

Tuvok glanced up quickly before resuming his work. “Hello, Captain. Did you know that these Talaxian green beans take only a week and a half to reach maturity?”

“I did not.” Janeway raised a brow and tilted her head. “That’s very impressive.”

“I thought so too when Kes told me.” He patted the soil around another plant and set it aside, retrieving another sprout.

“Tuvok,” the captain reached forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, “I’m glad you’ve found something to do, but you have to tell someone where you’re going before you wander off. We didn’t know what happened to you and Chakotay and I were really worried.”

Behind her, Chakotay’s heart flipped. There was something rather... intimate about the way she had referred to both of them being worried about a child.

“I’m sorry, Captain.” Tuvok nodded his head. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Janeway smiled and stood. “Why don’t you help Kes down here for a while and then come back up to the bridge when you are ready?” She looked at Kes. “That is, if Kes is alright with that.”

The young woman smiled. “Of course, I’d love some help.”

Janeway nodded and turned back to Tuvok. “Be sure to let us know when you’re on your way back up.”

“Of course, Captain.”

She patted him one last time on the shoulder and turned back to Chakotay. They fell into step beside one another and entered the elevator.

As the doors whooshed closed, Janeway turned to Chakotay with the intention of reclaiming Harry, but stopped. A smile grew across her lips as she watched Chakotay bounce Harry gently, allowing the little boy to palm his tattoo in curiosity. Even as one of Harry’s chubby fingers poked him in the eye, Chakotay simply chuckled and took the tiny hand in his own.

He finally turned to look at her. “What?”

Kathryn just shook her head, grinning wider. “I was going to take Harry from you, but I can’t bear to break up this cute little arrangement.” She motioned to the two of them with a long finger.

The corner of Chakotay’s mouth kicked up a little higher. “Captain, did you just imply that I’m cute?”

Her brow arched, but her smile didn’t diminish. “It would be hard for anyone to look unappealing with a cute baby in their arms.”

Her heart stopped suddenly as she realized what she had just said. From the look of Chakotay’s face, he had caught it too. Implying that he and the baby were cute was one thing; calling him “appealing” was another. Before she could say anything else she might regret, Kathryn turned back to the lift door, schooling her features back into the face of the Captain.

If she had turned but a half-second later, she would have seen a wide smile break across Chakotay’s face.

-----

“I’m sorry, Captain, but I need more time. I won’t deactivate myself until I have a solution, but this situation is very delicate and I can’t risk rushing my tests. You’ll need to find somewhere for the children to sleep. Hopefully I’ll have a solution tomorrow.”

Kathryn nodded. “Of course. Thank you, Doctor.”

With a grim smile, the feed from sickbay switched off, leaving her to look at her dark reflection in the black screen. Something like relief swept over help alongside a touch of regret. On one hand, she could really use her senior officers back in functioning shape. On the other hand....

Her eyes drifted back down to Harry, who had pulled a bit of her hair out of it’s ponytail and was curling it around his tiny fist in unbreakable fascination. A smile tugged at her lips as she cuddled him a bit closer.

She could get used to this.

The thought struck her before she even knew what she was feeling and, as soon as she admitted it to herself, she took that feeling and shoved it as deep into the recesses of her mind as she could. She was the captain of a ship that was constantly in danger and she shouldn’t dwell on things she couldn’t have.

Kathryn sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Well, Harry, looks like we need to find you a place to sleep.”

Turning back to the computer, she moved to set him down so she could use both hands to search the crew quarters layouts for a suitable place to keep the children overnight. As soon as Harry’s feet touched the ground, a wail rose from the back of his throat and his face scrunched.

Kathryn quickly scooped him back up. “Harry? What’s wrong?”

The boy’s cry of protest faded into whimpers and he buried his head in her shoulder, clinging to her tightly.

A warm feeling washed over her. “Ah,” she smiled, “I see.”

She pulled him closer and turned back to the computer, tapping buttons with one hand. “You can stay up here with me, then.”

The door to her quarters chimed.

“Come in.”

Before she could turn to greet her guest, mischievous giggles rose from the door. Eyebrow raised, she whirled around to find Chakotay standing in the doorway, a stack of PADDs in his hand, a tiny engineer on his left leg, and a tiny helmsman on his right.

He stepped forward with far less difficultly than she would have expected, given the extra weight on his legs. He crossed the room quickly and passed the PADDs to her. “The crew reports you requested.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, glancing down at the still giggling forms. “Not to alarm you, Commander, but it would seem that you have a couple of lifeforms attached to you.”

Chakotay’s eyes grew wide in mock surprise. “Really?” He turned his head and shuffled around, as if to look at his back. “Where?”

Tom and B’Elanna’s laughter grew. Suddenly, Chakotay leaned over and scooped the two of them off his legs, lifting them both up over his shoulders as their shrieked in delight.

He turned back to Kathryn with a wide smile. “Not to worry, Captain, I’ve apprehended the life forms.”

She smiled back with a soft chuckle. “We need to find a place for the life forms to stay tonight.”

Chakotay’s smile faded into a more serious, but not displeased look. “The Doctor doesn’t have a solution yet, then?” He lowered Tom and B’Elanna to the ground. They scampered off to the viewport, excitedly chattering about the stars.

“No, he needs a bit more time.”

Chakotay nodded. “Maybe I could take them for the night, that way someone is there to keep an eye on them.”

Kathryn shook her head. “I have no doubt in your babysitting abilities, Commander, but four children is a lot for one person to watch alone and your quarters are not big enough for Trouble 1 and Trouble 2 to run around in.” She gestured to the kids at the window.

“Fair point. Maybe I should take Harry and Tuvok then, and you could take Tom and B’Elanna?”

She turned Harry away from Chakotay. “Trying to take my boy again, are you Chakotay?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Do you have another idea, then, Mom?”

Her breath caught in her throat, but she managed to smirk at him and continue speaking without any indication that his previous sentence had impacted her. “My quarters are the largest on the ship. If we set up cots here in my living room we could easily both keep an eye on the children overnight.”

“Sounds good to me.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall. “How about I go collect Tuvok from aeroponics and some food from the mess hall while you get the cots set up?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He gave her one last lingering smile, which she returned, before heading out the door and down the hall.

-----

Apparently the lunch they had shared earlier that day had been misleadingly easy. Supper was, to put it lightly, a challenge.

“B’Elanna, eat your own food and stop taking from Tom’s plate,” Kathryn said firmly.

“But Tom isn’t eating it!”

“I was going to eat it! I’m just a slower eater than you are!”

“Well eat faster then!”

“B’Elanna!” Chakotay set down the spoon he had been using to feed Harry and fixed her with a stern look. “That food isn’t yours, and Kathryn already asked you to stop taking Tom’s food. You won’t be asked again.”

B’Elanna mumbled out an apology and stuffed another bite of her own meal into her mouth.

Kathryn shot Chakotay a grateful smile and turned to Tuvok, who was holding up one of his vegetables to the light. “Tuvok? What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at the xylem and phloem of this plant.”

She bit back a smile. “I appreciate your curiosity, Tuvok, but I need you to stop studying your food and start eating it.”

The young Vulcan turned to her and nodded. “Of course.” He politely chewed and swallowed his food and turned back to the captain. “Did you know that this particular plant is a distant cousin of Terran broccoli? You can tell by the-”

Chakotay smiled as he watched Kathryn listen to Tuvok’s fourth lecture of the evening on plant biology. Neither of them were certain of what he was talking about most of the time, but his enthusiasm for the subject was nearly infectious and neither of them minded listening.

“Chakotay?”

He turned away from the scene across the table and looked at Tom next to him. “Yes?”

“After dinner, will you read to us?”

“Of course.” Chakotay smiled and ruffled Tom’s hair. “Anything particular you want to hear?”

“I want to hear about your missions with the Maquis!” B’Elanna bounced in her seat, all of that barely-contained Klingon energy starting to spill over.

“Or perhaps you could read to us from a classic story,” Tuvok raised a brow. “I’m fond of the works of Tolkien, maybe Tom and B’Elanna would like ‘The Hobbit’ too?”

“What’s a hobbit?” Tom’s face scrunched in confusion.

“Maybe,” Kathryn interjected before Tuvok could give a detailed recounting of the beloved childhood book, “Chakotay could tell us a story from his tribe.” Her eyes met his across the table. “He is pretty good at recounting ancient legends.”

Heat crept up the sides of Chakotay’s face as he held her stare. “Maybe.”

“Nah,” Tom’s voice broke through the pleasant tension between them. “I wanna know what a hobbit is!”

Chakotay chuckled. “Alright, ‘The Hobbit’ it is.”

-----

It took some time to get the older three to settle into bed, but finally, they began to yawn and snuggle deeper under their blankets. As their heads grew heavier, Chakotay wrapped up his story telling and the command team began to tuck their young companions in for the night.

As Chakotay wished Tom and Tuvok a good night’s rest, Kathryn carefully extracted B’Elanna from where she was snuggled into her side and took her over to her cot. As she got the small girl settled, she suddenly reached up and captured Kathryn in a tight hug. Surprised, Kathryn’s eyes widened, but she returned the gesture in earnest.

“Kathryn?”

“Yes, B’Elanna?”

“You’re my best friend.”

Kathryn blinked and pulled back to look B’Elanna in the eyes with a small smile. “I thought Chakotay and Tom were your best friends.”

“I can have more than one best friend.” B’Elanna’s voice was filled with deep confidence, despite how sleep-laced it was.

“Fair enough,” Kathryn chuckled, pulling the blankets tightly around the girl. “Goodnight.”

She met Chakotay in her bedroom, Harry still in his arms.

“Any time I try to set him down he starts crying.” Chakotay grinned sheepishly.

She grinned back. “I had a similar experience earlier today.” She reached up and brushed hand over the boy’s soft, black hair. “Its a good thing he weighs next to nothing.”

At Kathryn’s gentle touch, Harry stirred. His dark eyes found Kathryn’s and he reached out for her. With a look of mock hurt, Chakotay transferred the boy to his desired location.

“I’m trying not to be offended right now, Harry.”

Kathryn simply grinned and bounced the baby in her arms gently. “It’s alright, Chakotay. He has excellent taste.”

Chakotay shook his head, dimples flashing. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

She turned toward the bed and settled herself on one side, her back resting against the pillows and Harry resting against her chest. “Let’s see if we can get this one sleepy enough to not notice if we set him down.” She looked back at Chakotay, who was still standing, rather awkwardly. She patted the bed next to her with a smirk. “Come on, Commander. Get some rest. We’ve has a big day, wrangling the kiddos.”

He smiled and crossed the room to the other side of the bed, gently sitting next to her, his legs stretched out. “It has been a long day,” he said with a sigh. “But, I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed it.” He tilted his head to look at Kathryn, who was already looking up at him.

“Nor I.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Suddenly, Chakotay was very aware of how close their faces were. He watched as Kathryn’s eyes slid down to his lips. Before he could do something he couldn’t take back, he took a deep breath and turned away.

“Well,” Kathryn cleared her throat, sounding more like the Captain now, “it’s been fun but we should get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye on Harry here and take him to his cot in a few minutes. You should go ahead and rest, Commander.”

“Of course.” He tilted his head and gave her a small smile. “Goodnight, Kathryn.”

She grinned back. “Goodnight, Chakotay.”

-----

Apparently, Kathryn didn’t stay awake long enough to take Harry back to his cot, as evidenced by the weight on her chest as she stirred awake the next morning. She slowly became aware of her surroundings and the previous day’s events came flooding back to her.

She also became distinctly aware of the warm, comfortable presence beside her. As she opened her eyes, she realized that her first officer’s arm was settled around her shoulders and that his shoulder was currently her pillow. His head rested atop hers and the hand that was not draped around her shoulders was resting on top of Harry’s back next to her own.

The situation was all rather snuggly and, were it not a violation of every professional barrier Kathryn had erected between her and the commander, she would have had no issue in savoring the moment.

Then again.... maybe she could allow herself just a few moments to pretend that the baby in her arms wasn’t her star technical officer and that the man holding her close wasn’t her XO and that this was a perfectly normal situation.

Before she could get too far into her fantasy, however, Chakotay stirred next to her, his dark eyes fluttering open to find her own.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice huskier than her own as sleep clung to it.

“Good morning.”

They looked at each other for a moment before Chakotay carefully extracted himself from her side, helping her up so she could carefully place Harry in his cot in the living room without waking the boy or the other children who were still sleeping. Without a word, they quietly prepared breakfast and coffee, steeling themselves for another day of handling the kids.

-----

“I’m afraid I’m a bit.... stuck,” The Doctor ground out with obvious difficulty.

The captain raised an eyebrow. The EMH admitting that he was struggling to solve a problem was a rare instance indeed. “How so?”

With a huff, The Doctor turned back to his desk, flipping through experimental results from a stack of PADDs. “Kes was right; the DNA reversal process I initially thought might work will not account for the de-aging of the officers’ brains, so I decided to look at the type of radiation that might have caused this and, to be completely honest, Captain,” he turned back to look her in the eye, “I have absolutely no idea how this even happened. There’s no evidence of radiation, the temporal energy around them is unidentifiable, and I can’t figure out how their cells and their minds were reversed.” He lowered his head. “I’m unsure of how to even proceed from here.”

Kathryn nodded, taking the emotions that were beginning to tumble in her chest and stuffing them as far down as she could. “Very well, Doctor. Take a rest and we can all come back to the issue later once we’ve had time to think.” She rested a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up. “Don’t despair yet; there’s a lot of other brilliant minds on this ship besides your own. We’ll figure it out together.” She smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze before heading into the turbolift.

As the doors slid open, she found Tuvok waiting in the lift for her. She smiled down at him and stepped inside, calling for the bridge.

“Chakotay to the captain.”

She tapped her badge. “Go ahead.”

“We need you on the bridge, there’s a bit of a situation.”

She raised a brow, glancing down at Tuvok, who was gazing at her intently. “On my way.”

-----

“So they want to.... interview us?”

“They want to interview you specifically.”

“To see if we are worthy of going through their space.”

“Something like that.”

“And going around their space isn’t an option?”

“It would add another 7 months to our journey, so this interview is our ideal option.”

“No pressure, eh, Commander?” Janeway shifted Harry from one hip to the other with a long sigh. “Alright. Hail them.”

After a moment, a blue and red humanoid alien appeared on the screen.

“Greetings, Ambassador.” The Captain flashed a polite smile. “I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.”

The alien woman inclined her head. “Hello, Captain Janeway, I’m Ambassador Tel Parah of the Doonian Delegation.” Her eyes swept the bridge. “You’re ship is heavily armed, which, according to the laws of our people, requires that we do a personal interview of the commanding officer to ensure that violence or other manners of chaos will not be instigated as you pass through our space.”

“Of course, I understand.” Janeway smiled again. “What questions may I answer for you?”

Over the course of the next 30 minutes, Janeway was grilled on their purpose in passing through Doonian space, the types and numbers of weapons they carried, and the journey they had made so far. Just as Janeway thought there wasn’t possibly anything more she could tell them, Ambassador Parah paused and looked up from the computer device in her hand to study Janeway. After a moment, she spoke again.

“Just one more thing, Captain Janeway,” a slow smile slipped onto her face, “What’s your son’s name? He’s absolutely precious.”

Janeway raised her eyebrows in surprise and glanced down at Harry, who she had nearly forgotten was still in her arms. At some point, he had removed her combadge and was currently turning it over and over again in his tiny hands, taking a moment here and there to bite parts of the object he must have found particularly interesting. Kathryn exchanged an amused glace with Chakotay, who shrugged off screen, before turning back to the ambassador.

“This is Harry.” Janeway smiled, turning the boy so the ambassador could see him better.

The other woman smiled widely. “How adorable. He has the brightest eyes.”

“He does.” Kathryn smiled back down at him.

“You know,” Parah leaned back in her chair, “I usually don’t allow anyone through our space that isn’t from a system or planet we are already know and trust and so I wasn’t planning on letting Voyager pass. However, when I saw your baby and how well-cared for and happy he seems, I felt that I could trust you somehow.” She smiled again. “We value children highly in the Doonien Delegation. Children are often a reflection of a parent’s character. I can tell by Harry’s disposition and curiosity that you are of a fine character, Captain.”

Janeway cuddled Harry a little closer, heart warming. “Thank you, Ambassador, I take that as a high compliment.”

“As you should.” Parah leaned forward again. “You may pass through our space. We will have you stop at three checkpoints on your way though which I will send you the coordinated for in a moment. Have a safe journey.”

The screen went blank and Kathryn turned to Chakotay.

“Should I feel bad that I let her believe Harry is my son?”

Chakotay chuckled, stepping close enough and lowering his voice enough that the rest of the bridge could pretend not to hear him. “Are you saying he’s not?”

Her gaze grew softer. “I guess he’s sort of been like a son to me since we got on board.” She looked back down at him. “I feel very protective of him.”

Chakotay rested a hand on her shoulder. “I know.”

They smiled at each other again. Chakotay opened his mouth to say something more but, suddenly, there was a tug at Kathryn’s elbow.

“Captain? Now that the negotiations are over, I think I have an idea about how to fix Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, and me.” Tuvok’s eyes were bright and eager.

“Alright,” Captain Janeway smiled down at him. “Let’s get The Doctor up here and we’ll hear your idea together.”

-----

Chakotay exchanged glances with The Doctor and the Captain over the table as he bounced both Tom and B’Elanna on his knees. “Could that really work? It seems almost too easy.”

“Well, if this is a phenomena that’s inexplicable and is tied only to the anomaly the shuttles passed through, I feel like sending the children back through isn’t our worst idea.” The captain rubbed the back of her neck. “Doctor?”

The holographic man continued typing into his PADD for a moment before stopping and reading. “I- I honestly think this could work.” He slid the PADD over to Janeway. “It’s hard to predict, since we have no idea what exactly caused this, but if we send the shuttles through the anomaly opposite of the way they first went through, I think it just might turn them back to their usual ages.”

“How do we know it won’t just make them even younger?” Chakotay watched as B’Elanna slipped off of his knee, pulling Tom along with her to go play in the corner.

“We’d have to run some tests to be sure that they don’t. Perhaps we could send a plant through first, or some other organic life form.” The Doctor took the PADD back and made a note.

“We would also have to make sure that, if the tests show some promise, Tuvok can take the shuttle back through the anomaly.” Janeway turned to the boy sitting at her right. “Well, Tuvok? Do you think you could pilot the shuttle?”

He shook his head. “Since I don’t have my older self’s memories I don’t think I could.”

“We could use the tractor beam to send the shuttle through,” Chakotay said. “If we give them enough of a push to go through the anomaly, they should be able to pilot themselves back to Voyager once they get out the other side and have returned to their normal ages.”

Janeway raised her eyebrows. “Well, it’s worth a shot and I don’t have any better ideas. Commander, set a course for the anomaly. Doctor, prepare the experiments.”

-----

Tom and B’Elanna seemed to sense that something was up as they suddenly became even more clingy. The whole trip back to the anomaly, B’Elanna shared the captain’s chair with Kathryn, insisting with all of her Klingon passion that the older woman tell her more stories from earlier in their journey through the Delta Quadrant. At the helm, Tom hung on to Chakotay’s arm, watching the stars go by and asking Chakotay a hundred questions about piloting starships. Tuvok sat in Chakotay’s usual seat, interjecting with questions of his own here and there, and Harry sat on Kathryn’s knee, chewing on her jacket sleeve, her combadge still clutched tightly in his left hand.

After they reached the anomaly, it took a couple of hours for The Doctor to complete his experiments and, once he had declared that plants that had gone through the anomaly twice were returned to the same age the started as, they began preparing the children to enter the anomaly themselves.

“Will it hurt?” B’Elanna asked in the smallest voice she had ever used in her life as Kathryn tucked the small Starfleet uniform that she had come through the anomaly with around her shoulders.

“It won’t,” Tuvok said. “It didn’t hurt when we came through the first time, did it?”

She shook her head, but didn’t look very reassured.

“It’s okay, ‘Lanna!” Tom grabbed her hand. “I’ll be right beside you.”

Kathryn stood and took a step back, feeling almost as if someone had filled her chest with some of Neelix’s heavy stew. She had to let them go, of course, this wasn’t the way they were supposed to be, but she was certainly going to miss seeing the level of innocence her officers had now. B’Elanna was unburdened by trust issues, Tuvok was passionate and bright, and Tom - well, she supposed he hadn’t changed all that much, but at least he seemed to be genuinely happy, not just putting up a front of humor to protect himself.

It would be hard to see them go back, but maybe, now that she understood how the world and time had changed her friends, she could help them.

She was shaken from her thoughts by a tug at her collar. She looked down to see Harry pulling at her pips, completely enamored by the gold metal.

“Oh, Harry.” She nearly choked on his name. Since he was so young now, she didn’t have any insight into his personality after having seen him as a baby, but she was going to miss his innocent curiosity and familiar weight on her hip.

Before she could think too much about it, she handed Harry over to Tuvok. The younger boy scrunched his face up and whimpered at the change of hands, but Tuvok bounced him gently and he settled down, reaching for the pointed tip of Tuvok’s ear.

Kathryn took a step back, feeling Chakotay step up behind her so that they were nearly touching. “Best of luck, you four.” She gave them her most reassuring smile. “See you on the other side.”

She and Chakotay hurried up the bridge and gave the go ahead for the ensign who had taken over Harry’s post to begin using the tractor beam to move the shuttle out into the anomaly. They stood side-by-side on the bridge and watched the shuttle go through. At come point, they grabbed each other’s hands and squeezed each other tightly.

There was a flash as the shuttle passed through the anomaly. After a few terrifyingly quiet moments, the shuttle came bursting out of the other side and a voice crackled over the comm.

“Cochran to Voyager,” confusion leaked through Tom’s voice. “What the hell just happened?”

Kathryn and Chakotay smiled at each other in relief. “What’s the last thing you remember, Tom?” Chakotay asked.

“B’Elanna, Harry, and I were coming back to Voyager when we- wait a second, how did you get here, Tuvok?”

Janeway laughed. “Why don’t we get you four back on board and then we’ll explain everything.”

“Copy that. See you in a few.” Tom’s voice grew quieter, like he was leaning away from the comm. “I have a feeling this is going to be one heck of a story.”

-----

After everyone had been debriefed and left to process the last two days of strangeness, Chakotay found Kathryn in her favorite spot; on her couch and staring wistfully out at the stars as they drifted past. She had shucked her jacket and taken her hair out of it’s clip, leaving her in her grey turtleneck with her hair falling around her shoulders and face.

“Got a lot on your mind?”

She turned to smile at him, a note of sadness in her eyes. “It’s been an interesting couple of days.”

He settled on the couch a ways down, turning to face her. “It sure has.” He was quiet for a moment. “I’m going to miss our kids.”

“Me too. It was fun having little ones around, playing at being a parent.” She fidgeted with the seam on the couch. “It was different and they sure did give us some challenges,” she chuckled, “but I loved it.”

“Have you ever thought about having kids of ou-” he coughed, “your own?”

Her crystal blue gaze caught his. “Yes.” She smiled and looked out the window again. “I always thought someday I would be a mother.” With a snort and a smirk, she continued; “Of course, I never thought I’d be mothering my helmsman, security officer, engineer, and technical officer.”

Chakotay laughed softly. “I think you were mothering them before they were turned into actual children.”

“Perhaps.” A pause. “What about you? Did you ever think about being a father? Outside of the whole instance with Seska, of course.”

He nodded. “When I was in the Maquis, no. My life was too fast-paced to be a proper father. If I was going to be a dad, I wanted to do it right and I couldn’t have done that from a Maquis ship.” He took a deep breath. “After joining this crew, though.... I’m in a better place now, and I think I’d be thrilled to be a father.” He looked over at Kathryn to find that she was already looking at him with something like wonder in her eyes. He held her gaze for a moment and, finally finding a bit of courage, he said: “I’m more at peace.”

A smiled played at the corners of her lips, and her eyes looked a little like they were silver-lined, though Chakotay couldn’t quite tell for sure in the low light of her quarters.

“You were really good with the kids. You would make an excellent father, I have no doubt.”

He smiled. “You would make an excellent mother. You’re a natural.”

“Thank you, but I barely felt like I knew what I was doing.” She chuckled.

“You could have fooled me.” He grinned for a moment, before his countenance grew more serious. “I hope you get your wish someday, Kathryn. I hope you get to be a mother.”

She was quiet for a moment, and Chakotay suddenly felt his chest tighten. Had he said too much.

Before he could fall too far into his panic, her hand slid over to his, giving it a squeeze. He looked up into her eyes, which definitely had tears in them now.

“I hope you get to be a father too Chakotay. Someday.”

He squeezed her hand back and they both fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the view of the stars outside Kathryn’s window.

#whew okay that got emotional there at the end #lets all take a breather and remember cute little Harry #Okay that's better #anyway #thanks for reading!#hopefully this wasn't too plot-hole-ridden #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #captain janeway #janeway #chakotay #harry kim #b'elanna torres #tom paris #tuvok #neelix #kes #the EMH #the doctor

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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ngl voyager gets a whole lot of very disproportional hate from the fandom and i'd hazard a guess that a lot of that is just garden-variety misogyny (and probably racism mixed in, considering how many of the most prominent characters are women, poc, or both). like, is voyager perfect? absolutely not. and no spoilers but there was a lot of executive meddling that wound up leading to the finale/conclusion being lacking and there's a lot of reasonable dissatisfaction with that--but again that was largely thanks to the execs fucking the show over and i recommend looking into that if you can once you've finished the show. but overall? voyager is trek right to its very core--it has heart, it's about family, and it never loses sight of that imo, even if some episodes are weaker or just duds (but, like, would it be a trek series without some episodes that just kinda suck but are still fun to watch???)

anyway, i absolutely love that you're getting into voyager, it is my all-time favorite trek series to this day for a lot of reasons, and i hope that ppl like that anon dont put you off bc i'd love to continue to see your thoughts as you watch the series!

Oh, it would take a whole lot more than some anons being salty that others enjoy things to turn me off :D

Thus far (I lost internet last night so I’m still only on Episode 7 of Season 2), Voyager is the Trekiest Trek I’ve watched. Which is a weird sentence, but I mean it in the way you said it’s “trek right to its very core.” What is Star Trek, if we strip the intent of the story down to its basics? It’s about exploration, discovery, that “wagon train to the stars,” wrapped up in the argument that life is fundamentally good. We have problems, but we can work past them. We have differences, but they strengthen us. Diversity is the lifeblood of the universe and the future will continue to improve so long as we embrace that.

Voyager is (again, from what I’ve seen so far!) basically a love song to that premise. I didn’t do too deep a dive because I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I did look at a couple threads discussing why Voyager is so hated. Again and again I saw the same reason pop up: wasted potential. Now, a lot of fans left it at that (as if the answer to what potential Voyager apparently missed out on is self-evident. It’s not), but those who did expand on the idea consistently claimed that the show needed to be darker than it was, even if they rarely said it like that. Why aren’t the Federation and the Marquis at each other’s throats? Why isn’t the crew going crazy under these circumstances? Why aren’t characters getting killed off left and right in hostile space? “Anything could have happened out there and they played it safe!” but the “anything” here is always... awful. There’s this very pervasive idea that the world is inherently cruel, people are inherently divisive, that when pushed to the brink everything will fall apart... and that (while making for one kind of great story) is very much not Star Trek.

See, Voyager created an unimaginable scenario--lost in space, 75 years from home, forced to live indefinitely with strangers--and their answer to the question of “What happens?” is “People make it work.” They learn to respect one another, they uphold their ideals, they maintain a love of life and discovery, and they create a family. And that’s fucking fantastic. That’s Star Trek! I’m not going to pretend there aren’t problems with the show, with plenty more to come, I’m sure, but I don’t think this is one of them. Why do so many viewers think that hatred, horror, death, and growing jaded is the only potential here? Why would they expect that in a Star Trek show whose premise is the very antithesis of those things?

“But they don’t do enough with those things, even if they have happy outcomes.” They do plenty, they just do it in an episodic rather than serialized nature. I can point to multiple episodes where the replicator rations or Maquis differences are driving the characters’ actions. “But without that horror there’s no conflict.” There’s plenty of conflict. Hostile aliens aside, I just watched an episode where Tuvok and Chakotay are pissed as hell at one another because they fundamentally disagree over how to handle problems, but--because they’re adults with a well-tested respect for one another--they apologize and work through it. “But the characters don’t develop at all.” You mean they don’t grow harder. That’s not the same thing as no development. Tuvok is figuring out how to be more flexible, Chakotay is becoming more willing to accept cultures he doesn’t agree with, Harry is growing more confident now that he’s far from home, the Doctor is learning to see himself as a person, Paris is grabbing his second chance with both hands by making strong ties, and Janeway is learning to command and care for her crew simultaneously. I honestly believe that a lot of people think of “character development” as the character becoming a fundamentally different person, unrecognizable from where they started out. But characters can also grow into the people they wanted to be in the first place. “We’re far from home, in hostile territory, tempted to do horrific things to survive... but no. Right now at least, we’re holding onto who we are. We’re scientists, so we’re going to explore and learn. We’re peaceful, so we’re going to make friends with as many species as we can. We’re members of a society that teaches acceptance, so we’re going to form a family on this spaceship.” That’s incredible!! Did fans miss why Seska was an antagonist in the episode she was unmasked? Because she was trying to convince them to give up everything they believe in in the name of survival, an ends justify the means argument. And the crew said no, we will not give up what we believe in just to make it through. I legit saw a ton of fans saying some version of, “I can’t believe they were that far from home and actually followed Starfleet’s rulebook.” It’s because those rules don’t exist for the hell of it. Overlooking their practical function, they’re a philosophy that the characters believe in, and they’re figuring out how important that part of their identity is to them under these circumstances. Am I willing to steal a specie’s technology if it gets us home? Am I willing to die to help another uphold their own philosophy? (Chakotay in “Imitations”). What regulations should we bend or change to accommodate our new situation? The first two things Janeway does are a) giving the guy who just came out of a penal colony a rank and b) deciding that she needs to be more familiar with her crew than is normally encouraged for a captain because she’s essentially their mom now. Developing doesn’t have to mean characters do a 180 on their initial personality, or characters getting killed off when stuff gets “boring” so that others can do edgy things in response.

Voyager upholds Trek’s premise and runs it to its logical conclusion:

Voyager has the most literal trek--a trek back home.

Voyager has the most diverse crew--a woman Captain, Native American First officer, black Vulcan, Asian-American communications officer, and a White Dude pilot that realizes he wants to be soft and kind towards those who took a chance on him because Toxic Masculinity who?

Voyager has the most literal family--not just a 5+ year mission, but a crew who expects to raise the next generation. They have no choice but to work together, so they indeed come together rather than pulling apart

Except they do, of course, have a choice. In “The 37′s” the crew is allowed to stay on the Earth-like planet with a city of other humans and Janeway is convinced that a sizable number will choose that. After all, they may never get home and this is a safer, kinder future for them. In fact, the real question is whether so many will stay that they can no longer run the ship... but Janeway would never dictate her crew’s choices in that manner. So she swallows her worry down, opens the door...

... and finds that not a single person decided to stay behind. And the show has ensured we understand that this is not just because they all have some unshakable belief that they’ll get home (many don’t), but because this is their family now. This is home.

And fans want to toss that out for a generic, gritty, sci-fi adventure where hope is scarce, the universe is cruel, and people need to be pushed to the limit just to admit that they maybe, sort of, like each other?? Obviously like what you like, but that’s a hard pass for me. I’ll take the bridge crew comforting each other in “Twisted,” thanks. Besides, we already have shows like that. And we already have DS9 which grapples with many of those dark, pessimistic themes. Voyager feels like a breath of fresh air, even within the breath of fresh air that is Star Trek as a franchise. It’s a show that says, “Yes, when everything goes wrong people will come together. They will love each other. They will make it through.”

What’s more Star Trek than that?

#star trek #ST #mymetas #Anonymous

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coffeeblack75 · 3 years

Text

20 Fic Questions for 2020

Thank you so much for these, curator-on-ao3 – such a great idea!

1. Fandoms you wrote for this year

Star Trek Voyager, one for Picard.

2. Favorite fic you wrote this year

Your Shadow Falling (Caesar). It may not the best fic I’ve written technique-wise, or anything-wise, but it’s the one closest to my heart and of which I’m most proud. I loved writing about Chakotay in the place he is in that fic; I loved of the adult relationship of equals I wrote for C/R and hinted at with J/C – it represents the development of my understanding of Chakotay and Rios, and J/C. But, most importantly, I loved all the behind-the-scenes that brought me to the spot from which I could write it: it wouldn’t exist without @traccigaryn – all the discussion we had over the year on the characters and in developing this fic series, and her ideas in Wherever We’re Lost (Jupiter), which she graciously let me spring from in my story.

3. Favorite fic you read this year

You are kidding, right? ‘Fic’ is plural, right? 😂 I could not hope to pick just one! Here are some of the fic that I’ve loved and/or which have been influential to me in terms of my writing and/or my understanding of the characters this year:

Between Decks 4 and 5 by @traccigaryn (J/C, G-rated) – the adult J/C conversation the show owed us

if you came this way, by tree (J/C, E-rated) – this beloved fic does not need a gush, surely?

Sparks, by Jaye_Voy (C/P, E-rated) – for its exploration of Chakotay’s (and Tom’s) backstory, among other things ...

Motif by Filenotch (C/P/T, E-rated) – a wonderful look at B’Elanna and Chakotay’s friendship, among other things ...

BlackVelvet’s Lucky (J/C, M-rated) – so much wisdom in this fic!

@curator-on-ao3’s Cutting it Close (J/C, G-rated) – beautiful in every way

Pessa’s Final Bell (J/C, G-rated) – an example of the kind of closure J/C could have had on the show

(Oh How I Need) Someone To Watch Over Me, by zjofierose (J/C, E-rated) – the first fic I read that paid Chakotay some of his due. I cried the first time I read it! (And the next few times!)

Soft Light by northernexposure (J/C, E-rated) – the first E-rated I ever read ... I’ve not been the same since! 😏

Feels So Good (G-rated) and Venice (E-rated) by @killermanatee – gorgeous, adult J/C

Good grief, I have to stop ... We are blessed in this fandom with so many incredibly talented writers!

4. Favorite opening line/scene you wrote this year

Ah! I normally hide from openings, lol. Perhaps the first few lines from Blue Sky:

She remembers the sky was so blue, like Earth’s. And the sun on their backs and the feel of his hand in hers and a monkey that always interrupted but was never unwelcome in the fullness of a life that stretched out before them.

5. Favorite ending line/scene you wrote this year

The last line to Slippery Slope:

She’s not a poet. But there is a song in her now.

6. A trope you wrote this year

Corn porn?! 😂 Does that count as a trope in the Voy fandom? In The Other Side. Or ... first-time sex – I wrote a few of those!

7. Pairings you wrote this year

J/C, Chakotay/Cristobal Rios, Janeway/Neelix (hahahhahhaha!)

8. A fic regret from this year

I don’t think I have any regrets. All of the fic I wrote are what they are and were the best I could do at the time I wrote them, so I’m just pleased I achieved what I did! They’re all stepping stones!

9. A song that helped you write

Again, just one!? Nope! I write all my fic to songs – I usually have a playlist for each fic! I’ll restrain myself and just hit you with three ...

Phoria’s Yourself Still (listened to when writing Slippery Slope mainly, but also Someplace You Know)

Heavy Metals by Noah Gundersen (various WIP fic – it’s my get-J/C-to-a-place-where-they-can-be-together song)

Beast by Wednesday’s Wolves (listened to when writing WIP fic as part of my Other Side series and ... my vamp!Chakotay WIP)

10. Total number of fics you posted

13 (one of which was written in 2019 [Space] but only posted this month)

11. Total number of words you posted

44,199 (not including Space) – I ... cannot believe I wrote that much! 😵

12. Most popular fic written this year

Someplace You Know – in terms of kudos and hits combined. Looking at hits:kudos, it would be Blue Sky. I have a feeling though that The Other Side was actually my most popular, but this is not really reflected in raw stats.

13. Least popular fic this year

By hits and kudos, probably Reflection, a little Janeway/Neelix drabble. I’ve no idea why that one hasn’t been more popular? 🤷😂

14. Longest completed fic you posted this year

Someplace You Know – 10,529 words.

15. Shortest completed fic you posted this year

Reflection and Made It, both drabbles at 100 words each.

16. Favorite character to write about this year

Chakotay. Of course. I expect this will be the same every year!

17. A fic you didn’t expect to write

Um ... all of them? They come from ... strange inspiration. Perhaps I’ll go with The Other Side. I was feeling especially crappy about my writing prior to writing that and the wonderful @caladeniablue gave me a prompt and a pep talk and ... corn. She gave me corn. And away I went!

18. Most memorable comment or review

Probably this one from @mia-cooper on This Day:

YES. This is a diamond with a crack right through it and it's so perfect. Love the despair, love how bleak this is. Love that there's not even a shred of a happy ending. Fucking yeah. #2020MOOD

19. Fics you wanted to write but didn’t

I think I started all the ones I wanted to write at this stage. I do wish I’d got further along with my vampire!Chakotay one though!

20. Something to write next year

Vampire!Chakotay, ofc. It’ll have him on the label, but it will (probably!) be a story about KJ growing and dealing with some of her issues, so she can best help him. And smut, naturally. And my fun ooc Indiana Jones J/C AU. I just want to keep learning and progressing as a writer, trying different genres, writerly techniques, learning to plot properly, etc.

It’s been an amazing year in this fandom – my first full year! Thank you to all the wonderful people who’ve welcomed and helped me along the way with my writing – in discussion, in betaing, in reading. ❤️

And if you’re reading this and a fic writer, consider yourself tagged to answer these questions too! 🤗

#fic rec #star trek voyager #20 fanfic questions #star trek #my fic #star trek picard

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thesadchicken · 4 years

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Can I ask what you don't like about the Voyager finale? Voyager is my favorite series and I don't Endgame is bad at all, but actually concludes the series and Janeway's Borg arc quite nicely. I mean, Seven/Chakotay came out of nowhere but that's about the one thing I find "wrong" about it. Your explanation can be brief! I'm just curious about your opinion.

Hello there! This is a very good question, thanks for asking 😄

But before I start I just want to say that I really don’t like being negative, especially because you told me you like the episode. I know how upsetting it can be when people talk trash about something you like, I personally am very sensitive when it comes to that, so I wouldn’t want to do it to other people. Everything I’m going to say is only my personal opinion and I sincerely hope I won’t upset anyone.

Okay, so there are a few reasons why I don’t like Endgame:

The plot. I think they spent too much time in the alternate universe, which ended up being erased. That felt a little useless to me. Why show us all the details of this universe if by the end of the episode you’re gonna tell us that it all literally never happened? (not that I’m ungrateful, that universe sucked imo lol) And from the moment Admiral Janeway sets foot on Voyager, she has basically already won. She brings everything with her. She holds Voyager’s salvation in the palm of her hand. Even the complications and problems that arise aren’t that difficult to overcome: she and Prime Universe Janeway quickly agree to sacrifice the Admiral and that’s that. (I do think the Janeway introspection scenes are beautiful, but there aren’t enough of them! We should have seen more of that, explored it a bit more!) Even with the Borg, it felt way too easy. This is the Borg we’re talking about. The most terrifying Star Trek villains and Janeway’s biggest enemy. She got rid of them just like that. Sure, her plan was clever and the Admiral had to sacrifice herself and all that, but the entire thing was not nearly as well-written as other episodes. Just think of Scorpion or Dark Frontier. That shit was EPIC. It just felt like the stakes weren’t as high, when in reality this is the climax of the entire show. They spent way too much time on world-building for a universe that was eventually erased.

The characters. We didn’t really get to see anyone do anything important. Even Prime Universe Janeway felt absent in this episode. Let’s be real, the Admiral did all the work. And what about the crew? They mostly just waited around. I wish they’d done something. They went through so much; they deserved to be the heroes of their own finale. Don’t get me wrong, I love Admiral Janeway, she’s badass but she’s not OUR Janeway. I wanted her and the crew to do more.

Everything was rushed. Everything happened way too quickly: the Janeway introspection scenes, the Admiral convincing her younger self, Miral’s birth, the moment they finally reach home… None of it is satisfying. The Borg are defeated quickly and silently. We barely get one shot of Voyager flying towards Earth. The only person showing any kind of emotion when they arrive is Harry. We don’t even get to see the character’s faces! We have no idea what their reaction is! We don’t get that grand “we made it!” scene, the crew (with the exception of Harry) don’t even look that happy to be home. Or maybe it’s just because we literally didn’t get to see any of them except for a few wide shots in low lighting.

The absolute nonsense that is Seven/Chakotay. And I’m not just saying this because I dislike the ship. Yeah they have 0 chemistry and have probably only spoken like twice during the entire show but there’s more to it than that. I’m not 100% sure about this but from what I understand it was the producers’ last attempt at “making Seven more human” (I heard they were actually planning on killing her off because she wasn’t “human enough”? But a lot of people--including the actors--complained so they ended up doing this instead). This implies she needs a love interest to make her “complete”. And both Seven and Chakotay are very out of character in this episode. I didn’t recognize them, it was like watching one of those episodes where aliens take control of their bodies or whatever. I can’t help but feel like the decision was less of an artistic choice and more of a The Attractive Female Character Needs Romance thing. And even if that weren’t the case, it’s still very bad writing.

Conclusion: the entire episode feels to me like everyone suddenly stopped caring. So many things don’t make sense, everything happens too quickly, and the plot is disappointing. We waited 7 seasons to see Janeway kick ass and get her crew home, to see the looks on their faces when they finally arrive, the satisfaction of seeing them work together as a team and then finally the reward, green green Earth, waiting for them, beautiful as ever.

What we got instead was dry and unemotional. We were robbed of seeing the crew earn their return home. We weren’t shown their reactions. Every important plot point was rushed.

On a more personal note, I would’ve loved it if the show had come full circle, with the female Caretaker coming back to finally send them home. I feel like the Caretaker arc had so much more to offer, there was so much mystery surrounding them. It would’ve made an interesting, satisfying finale. But this is really a question of personal taste.

So yeah. Those are the reasons why I don’t like Endgame.

#anon #anonymous #replies #reply #Anonymous #please forgive me i hate being negative #negativity

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galaxy-class · 3 years

Text

Star Trek Voyager Chakotay/OC

Hello! This is the first fic I’ve ever written, it’s a 6k Chakotay/OC PWP with some fluff and touch starving sprinkled in here and there. Janeway has an honorable mention in the beginning because I love her, but this isn’t a J/C fic (at least not this time lol). Possible triggers under the cut!

Possible triggers (If you think of anything to add let me know!): Alcohol consumption, descriptions of male/female sex, themes of dominance and submission (power dynamics between commander and subordinate), mild choking (hand on throat positioning), mild restraining (holding wrists, no ropes/equipment)

A thank you to @marigoldseesstars and @burntheparameters (and other friends not on tumblr so I’m unable to tag them) for encouraging me to post! I hope you guys like it and I welcome feedback good or bad! <3

Chain of Command (Title is trash because I am trash, thank you!)

Although the Delta Quadrant was full of new experiences and discoveries, the days between each excursion were full of the necessary, albeit mundane, tasks that it takes to run a starship. Duty rosters, shift trades, meetings… Terribly dull, and yet required for the ship to function. Captain Janeway insisted on it. Looking out of some unnamed observation window with a distant gaze, she would lecture crew members who tried to oppose her strict adherence to protocol. “I know, believe me, and I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not it’s wrong for me to impose these rules on this crew, knowing that the institution upholding them is so far away… But these rules help bring us together. They give us purpose and cohesion, and remind us of our principals while we’re so far away from order and reason…” Most people stopped listening the second she got that look in her eye, knowing there isn’t any amount of complaint or protest that could change her mind. And it isn’t too terrible a concept anyway. After all, someone has to be the one to wipe off the com panels when they muck up with the fingerprints of the crew members who insist on using the touch features rather than the voice commands, and someone else has to review the available personnel to cover for Ensign Baytart’s requested personal time off and Tuvok's mandatory fitness training.

Chakotay felt the days growing shorter, while the workload of monotonous tasks crawled on before him. The days of course, where perfectly timed on the ship’s chronometer to ensure maximum efficiency among the crew while allowing for adequate time to rest and relax between shifts. It even took into account the differing night and day cycles each species had grown accustomed to on their home planets and calculated a perfect medium between the variables. What the ship’s computer did not account for however, was Chakotay’s tendency to linger in the small moments between tasks. How he would stop to appreciate the soft thread in a blanket gifted to him by a friend, or steal an extra second to smell the spices mixed in with Neelix’s latest “coffee” blend. And so, his days grew shorter, while the soft glow of the padds laid out on his work station encroached in his peripheral vision, beckoning him to finish up this week's chores.

Chakotay stood from his chair stretching his arms and looked down at the bottom of his mug, no longer filled with the thick brown liquid Neelix described as “Better than coffee.” He chuckled to himself about what a luxury real coffee had become in this quadrant. ...Duty roster.. Hmm… Why don’t I just go down to each station and see who’s available… Maybe the crew will have some personal insight I could use… His thoughts began to trail off and he found himself wandering towards stellar cartography.

As the cool metal doors slipped open, light poured in from the hall onto the darkened work stations of a diligent crew, carefully mapping out this new region of space. They had their work cut out for them, creating detailed maps based on Voyager’s data and comparing them to patchwork resources acquired along the way. Slowly adjusting their eyes to the bright light silhouetting Chakotay in the doorway, spines began to stiffen at the sight of their commanding officer. Lieutenant Kelly, who’d recently been promoted to this division, tripped over a few words beginning a report of their progress. “Sir! We didn’t expect- We’re currently running a scan on the left-”

Chakotay put his hand up in protest. “I was only wondering if anyone wanted to spend tomorrow on the bridge, Ensign Baytart requested a day off, and if I have to scroll through any more names on that padd I might just go crazy.” His expression was soft and lighthearted, but the crew shared nervous glances concerning the surprise visit from the ship’s first officer. “At ease” he insisted, and held out hope for a few more seconds that anyone would take up his offer.

“I’ve never had bridge duty before” someone spoke up from the back of the room.

“Who is that?” He asked, trying to see through the dark.

“Ensign Salva sir, I have.. some experience with being on the conn, just not Voyager’s bridge… If no one else wants the shift that is.”

Ensign Bobbi Salva was not tall and commanding, nor did her voice carry well in any way that demanded attention, but she was never one to pass up a new opportunity. What else are star ships for? In fact, she had found herself in stellar cartography on a similar request. Although she was trained as a medical assistant, she found ways into almost every corner of the ship. A recent favourite of hers being the aeroponics bay, where Kes had invited her to learn about cultivating plants after spending time with her in sickbay. “Growing a plant is just like treating a patient” Kes would say to her, “You just have to know what they need, and they can flourish on their own.” She liked Kes, they were similar in size and stature, but very different in personality in a way that complimented each other well. Bobbi had a square face, and curly dark hair which she tried a variety of ways to pull back into the intricate designs that reminded her of all ways her mother would style her beautiful curls. She had high cheekbones, and deep set eyes that sparkled with reflections of scarlet in the dark brown of their center. Sometimes she appeared to have a bluish tint, her father insisted that she was mixed with a Bolian on her cousin’s grandmother’s aunt’s side of the family, but mostly she had olive undertones on lovely brown skin.

"Salva… Aren’t you usually working in sick bay? I wasn't aware of any personnel changes in that area of the ship" Chakotay started.

"Well actually sir, it's a funny story really, me and Kes were in the aeroponics bay discussing-"

"Sir, I apologize for interrupting, but if there is nothing further we do have a few more things to get done." said Lieutenant Kelly, who was admittedly happy that Salva had found something else to do. As interesting as Bobbi found it, stellar cartography was not her strong point.

"Of course" Chakotay responded, "Salva if you'll come with me we can go over the details of the assignment. As you were Lieutenant." With that Bobbi followed Chakotay into the hall, leaving behind her curiosity for star maps and replacing it with apprehension about serving on the bridge.

"Sick bay, aeroponics, stellar cartography, is there anywhere besides the bridge you haven't been Ensign?" Chakotay chuckled.

Bobbi was struck with the sudden realization that, not only was she talking to the second highest in command on the ship, but she had neglected to inform him or anyone else about her incursions.

"I, well, only went to sections that I was invited to observe or help by other crew members, I never meant to break protocol.."

"That's alright, I was just curious." Chakotay let out a sigh. He knew most of the crew respected him, and he trusted them. In the Marquis however, things were different. Sure, he was their captain and they followed his command like any good crew would, but there was rarely tension between him and his subordinates solely on the basis of rank. Starfleet vessels are polished and prideful, and senior officers are revered for their accomplishments. Marquis ships are built on trust and bonds between crew members fighting for a cause they believe in, and sometimes respect in senior officers is only granted because they can hit harder than you can in a bar fight. A bit far off from the Starfleet sparkle of an extra pip.

Tired from his daily tasks and determined to have a sense of normalcy, he started again, “Are you looking to explore another career option? We could always use extra hands in engineering.” said Chakotay.

Bobbi let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders, realising how tense she had been. Chakotay’s warm voice and reassurance took away some of the stress she was carrying around while trying to maintain an aura of professionalism. “Actually I love sick bay. I’ve never felt more right than when I found medicine, I had changed my area of study so many times before…” A small smile escaped her lips, thinking of how many nights she spent worrying she would never find a place to fit in, now feeling so at home with a medical tricorder in her hands. “But as much as I love it, I’m still so curious about everything else. I want to see it, be a part of it for a small time. And seeing the other divisions in action reminds me just how much I love what I do.” she laughed, and looked up at Chakotay to see that he was smiling too. She never noticed before, how his face seemed to light up when he smiled, and caught herself holding her breath again.

He stopped in the hall outside of his room. “I’m glad to hear you’ve found your calling. It’s a rare gift to know where you fit in. But I’m happy you’ll be joining me on the bridge, even if it’s just one shift. How about I make us some tea and we’ll go over the details of your assignment?”

…Glad I’ll be joining him on the bridge.. ‘Joining me’ he said… Wait, his quarters? The First Officer’s quarters? Ensign Salva felt her cheeks flush, and the little slice of Bolian blue in her veins sparkled through, turning her subtle blush into a beautiful, almost purple crimson.

He was nearly caught off guard, watching her face. She’s almost glowing, I wonder what... oh I should have realised that would make her uncomfortable… “Of course we can go in the dining hall if you prefer, I just have to get the padds, I’m sorry if-”

“No no it’s alright, I could use some tea.” She looked up at him again, settling her gaze on the part in his lips forming what was going to be the next word in his apology, turning her glance quickly back towards the doors to his room. He smiled and welcomed her in.

Chakotay’s room was softly lit, and sprinkled with things that had been given to him by the people he cared about. A lovely red and orange throw blanket from his grandmother, a crystal set of whisky tumblers from an old pilot he used to know, little pieces of the people who’d helped shape him.

“Tea first, then work.” He gestured towards the couch for her to sit, and walked over to the replicator for two cups of yerba mate. A red, earthy tea, made from the leaves of a South American holly tree. One of his favourite blends that he didn’t often indulge in, because he didn’t want to spoil it. Tonight it felt appropriate.

“Bridge duty on Voyager? Maybe I need something stronger than tea.” She could feel herself smiling nervously. Why did I say that? He’s going to think I’m not up for the challenge…

Thinking for a second, tilting his head ever so slightly, “You know what you’re right. Let me get something… Here it is, warm vanilla brandy from a group of Bajorins that helped us restock on a very cold, very long night with the Marquis. It compliments the tea perfectly.” Adding the brandy to the tea, he joined her on the couch. ...What I wouldn’t give to see that lovely color in her face again… We’re supposed to be discussing bridge duty, I think…

As he sat down next to her she crossed her legs up onto the couch and held the tea in her lap, feeling the warm mug in her hands, letting the steam from the mixture of herbs and brandy curl up around her and closing her eyes for a second. Has he always been so welcoming and kind? Is he always this easy to be around? We’re supposed to be discussing bridge duty, I think…

He put his arm on the back of the couch, and rested his cheek against his fist “Where are you from?” he wondered.

“From?” she blinked

Chakotay smiled and put his hand down in his lap, mirroring her posture and feeling the warmth in the mug he was holding. “Yes, before Starfleet, did you live on Earth?”

“Oh no, I mean I’ve been there plenty of times, but my dad worked in one of the schools on Mars, he’s a teacher there for kindergarteners.” Bobbi laughed and looked up as if she was watching a memory play on the ceiling, “He used to tell stories to his kids about me being in Starfleet, he was always so proud of me. I wonder what he told them when…” She stopped and looked down, it wasn’t a happy memory any more, not knowing if he had given up hope that her ship would be found, not knowing if she had given up hope that they would make it back either.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Chakotay reached his hand out to put his palm on her knee. “We’ll make it back, I have to believe that. I’m sure your father misses you a great deal.” He let out a small smile, “Honestly I would miss you too, you seem like that type of person, who sticks with someone when you’ve gone.” He didn’t even notice that he had moved closer to her.

He may not have noticed his movement, but she was acutely aware of his hand on her leg, and the distance closing between them. She noticed that she leaned into his touch, and she noticed that she was hanging onto every word in that soothing deep tone of his. “I.. thank you sir.” Bobbi felt her cheeks flush again, and cast her eyes down at his hand. Am I flirting with the first officer? Is… Is the first officer flirting with me? She felt the brandy warming her stomach and a prickle at the tips of her fingers. Oh, this is real alcohol she thought for a second. It had been a while since she had the comfort of a genuine drink, and synthehol just doesn’t have that same feeling.

He paused for a second at the sight of her. That wonderful color, shading the edges of her cheeks and the tips of her ears, stole the words he was trying to formulate. Chakotay didn’t usually like being called “sir,” he always thought it sounded a little pretentious, and while he understood and respected the purpose of formality on a ship, sometimes he just wanted a regular conversation. So then, why did it sound so good when she said it? He was fighting a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, and felt that same warmth in his veins from the brandy that he hadn’t felt in some time.

“I really appreciate you making me feel so... welcome.” She said, unsure if she should change the subject or push it further. She reached over and placed her cup on the coffee table, and watched as he mirrored her movement, setting his down as well. “I couldn’t have been your first choice for Baytart’s replacement, but I appreciate the opportunity, sir.” she finished, deciding to turn the conversation back to work. Even still, she couldn’t help but wonder where it might have gone instead. I’ve got to be reading too much into this… There’s no way he’s... I just need to get my thoughts together for a second…

There it is again, ‘Sir’... It felt like honey coming off her lips. The way she said it, like she didn’t need to say it, like she had an inside joke and it was a challenge. “Honestly” Chakotay responded, trying not to linger too long on the thought, “I had no idea who I was going to pick. I spent so long looking at names on a screen, I just had to see someone face to face instead.” This time he did notice that his hand was still on her knee and he had, in fact, moved closer to her. He noticed too that she’d shifted positions and now the other leg was down on the floor, pushing her very slightly closer to him. Before he realised what he was saying, he started saying it. “I’m glad it was you that decided to say something, and that you came with me tonight. That subtle blue is so beautiful in your skin, has anyone ever mentioned that before?” His voice grew quieter and deeper, his eyes trailed across the line of her jaw.

Oh… This wasn’t her over thinking anything, she realised. And now that she had figured it out, she wasn’t letting it go. Now it was a challenge, if it wasn’t before. Her eyelids lowered and she chose her words carefully, curious how far he was willing to take this conversation without her making it too easy. “Is that so? No, I don’t think I’ve been told that before.” Bobbi could still feel the heat in her face, and was finding it more and more difficult to take her focus off his lips, his shoulders, the feeling of his hand still on her leg, until she felt herself reach down and softly lace her fingers onto the spaces between his. It was almost jarring, how incredible it felt, the softness and warmth of his hand, all from a very small touch that she didn’t realise she needed until it was so obvious that she needed it.

Chakotay could tell she was playing at something and could see the twitch of excitement on her face, even though she answered him so sparingly. …’Is that so’ Oh, I think you know it is, and I would love to see what else you know… But the feeling of her hand on his brought him out of his trance. He looked down at her delicate fingers fitting perfectly between his, knowing how good it felt to be touched. “Ensign… Bobbi. This wasn’t my intention with bringing you here. If you’re not comfortable, I would never impose…” He tilted his head back up to meet her gaze, “What I mean to say is that I don’t want to cross any boundaries you might have.”

“Commander, I could say the same to you. But I think, if it’s alright, that I would like to stay for a little while.” She held his stare intently while she spoke, to be sure he would not miss-hear her words. No, commander, I do think I will stay here with you… I think that’s exactly what I want to do. Again, her eyes found his lips, and she moved closer to his seat, sliding his hand with hers further up to the soft middle of her thigh. His fingers tightened their grip just slightly, like he couldn’t help it, like he had to feel more of her, and she nearly lost all of her focus at once. Not yet, she thought, I want to see what you do. You’re the commander, after all, so make a decision. Make a command. Dizzy with the thoughts of what he might do, she waited, giving him no more before he would respond.

Commander… Say it again… “Then stay.” He placed his hand gently on her cheek, using his thumb to feel the curves of her face before pulling her to him until their foreheads met. “I’m going to kiss you.” It wasn’t a question, his voice was deep and quiet, and full of desire.

“Then do it.” She whispered. He smelled sweet like the vanilla brandy mixed with the faintest trace of eucalyptus, and his hand felt strong on her face. She could barely contain her composure, waiting for his lips to meet hers.

Her words felt like another challenge, and without hesitation he pressed his lips onto hers and felt her whole body melt into him. His hand slid up her thigh to around her waist, pulling her deeper into him, and he moved the other hand to the base of her neck where he could feel her draw in a breath between each kiss. She let out a moan that he could feel with the hand on her throat, and he pushed her back gently, stopping her in the middle of her ecstasy. Lifting a thumb to her chin, he pulled down and parted her lips with his hand, and drew his face in close again, just barely brushing the surface of her mouth with his own. “I like that sound, does this feel good?” While he asked, his other hand trailed along the inside of her thigh, making her gasp. “No, I asked you a question. Does that feel good?” His fingers tightened their grip on her leg.

“Yes.” She whispered again. How could it not feel good? Please... The strength of his hands, his lips, his tongue, he was intoxicating, and she didn’t want him to stop.

“Good.” His lips were still brushing hers, he felt her trying to move forward and pushed her back again. “You want more?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what? You weren’t so shy before calling me ‘sir’ and ‘commander’. I even thought you liked it.”

Her eyes turned sharp and hungry, and she waited just a little while, testing his patience until she felt another squeez on her thigh. He wanted to hear her say it.

“Yes, sir. I want more.”

This time it was him that let out a moan as he pulled her back. He wanted more too, her skin, her warmth, he wanted to feel every part of her, and more than that, he wanted to make her feel good and watch her move and gasp with every new touch. She smelled like clove and she was soft, so soft he didn’t want to hurt her by gripping her too tight, but everytime he strengthened his grip he felt her lean further into it, deepening her intensity. He stopped her again, this time putting distance between them. “Stand up.” Chakotay ordered. He looked up at her and smiled with that warm inviting smile as she stood. “Good girl. I want you to take off your uniform, I want to look at you, will you do that?”

“Yes sir.” She turned away from him, and when he started to speak out in protest she silenced him with a look. He was driving her wild with anticipation and now it was her turn. Very slowly she began to undo her clothes, leaving the back open for a few seconds before carefully pulling off one shoulder, then the other, and sliding out each arm purposefully, drawing the fabric down the length of her arms and past her hands, but holding up the front to keep herself covered. Then she slowly turned to face Chakotay. His expression was intense, his lips parted at the sight of her and his hand was drawn up in his lap as if he was going to start pleasuring himself to her, but he stayed very still instead, watching her movements intently. She nearly forgot what she was doing when she saw him looking at her like that, like she was the most amazing thing he had ever seen.

He waited patiently, saying nothing. She continued with her game, pulling the fabric slowly off each leg while holding the bulk of it in front of her with the other arm. Chakotay leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, eagerly watching her every move. Once the final items of clothing were removed, and she stood in front of him with only the drape of an empty uniform left to cover her, she took a step closer to him and left the last of the fabric to fall on the ground around her. He sat entranced in her shape only briefly before reaching up to grab her hand, pulling her into his lap.

Her hands rested on his chest, and she straddled his lap. She was surprised at how comfortable he was physically, and how easy it was to follow his direction. It felt natural, like a game they were playing that they both knew the rules to, and she was fixated on his every next move. His hands began to move up her thighs, onto her hips, up her waist, and up the sides of her breasts to her shoulders. She held her breath, he wasn’t really touching her, not completely. Still dancing around the edges, making her wait, making her want him. One hand curled around the nape of her neck, and the other slid back down to her hips as she let out the breath she was holding in.

“Look at you, you look stunning.” Both of his hands moved to her breasts and his feather light touch cupped them and brushed his thumbs over her nipples. She lifted her head back and groaned, reaching a hand down to touch herself, but Chakotay grabbed her wrist and stopped her. “No, not yet.” He was still softly stroking her hard nipple with his thumb while holding her wrist away from herself.

“Please?” She let out a whimper.

“Please what?” He said.

“Please, I want yo-” She groaned again, interrupting her words and her thoughts with the feeling his hands were providing.

He chuckled at her reaction to his touch and felt her squirm in his lap. “Please what?” he said again, and gently squeezed her breast in his hand, shifting his grip to use his index finger to tease her instead of his thumb.

“Please, I want you to fuck me.”

“Is that how you refer to me?” His hand moved up from her breast to her neck, with his index finger resting on the line of her jaw putting a small amount of pressure on her throat, just enough to notice. His other hand let go of her wrist daring her to try again, and moved to undo his own uniform. “You were doing so well before. If that’s really what you want then you’ll have to ask me the right way.”

She watched as he unfastened his uniform and took the length of his cock into his hand, touching himself like he wouldn’t allow her to do, and she was breathless again. He pulled her face close to his with the hand around her neck, and continued to stroke the length of his shaft underneath her. She whimpered thinking about how good he would feel inside of her. He could feel the tension in her legs, and he knew she could only go so much longer before it would become too much. “Go on, say it.” He said between stolen kisses on her open mouth.

“Please sir, I want you to fuck me.”

Chakotay took his hand from himself and reached up to her pussy, feeling the wetness between her lips, sliding his fingers up onto her clit and massaging it slowly. She groaned deeply at his touch and her hips began to sway in motion with his fingers. “There, that wasn’t so hard. I want to hear you moan.” He worked his fingers faster on her clit and felt her body reacting in waves to the feeling.

It felt so good, that’s really the best way to describe it. It felt so good and she felt herself move along with him, her muscles tensing and releasing with his changes in speed and pressure. “Mm it feels so good, don’t sto-” she moaned again, louder this time. And just as she was about to direct him not to, he stopped and pulled his hand away, back to himself. “You’re not done yet.” Bringing her up to that edge, watching her body, her face, he loved every second of it. With one hand still around her throat, he pushed her off his lap so they were both standing and kissed her deeply, letting his other hand explore her curves.

“Wait.” It was her turn again. She pushed him away for a second and he waited to listen to her demands. “Let me take off your uniform.” He smiled as she moved her hands over the fabric, as slowly as she did for herself she unfastened his shirt and slid it off his broad shoulders, then moved to his undershirt, giving him light kisses on the stomach and chest as she pulled it up over his head. His pants, which were already partially undone, were the easiest to remove. She found herself laughing with him as he tried to step out of them after they pooled around his ankles, falling back onto the couch and taking her with him. Their laughter moved their bodies on one another in a way that brought her closer to him, and she could feel his warm skin against hers. She layed on top of him for a second, feeling him breathe, listening to his heart beat, and feeling his arms coil around her again.

His hands began to explore, and he felt her shifting on top of him. She sat up looking at him, and his hands slid back up to cup her breasts then back down again so his thumbs were resting on her sex. He began to rub her clit with his thumbs, watching her move to the feeling and moan. He reached for his cock with one hand, and pulled it up to slide between her pussy lips, not letting her have it inside her just yet, rubbing the tip against her clit and letting her wetness cover it’s length. She moaned, the most beautiful sound in the world, and grinded her hips back and forth over the length of his cock. She tried to reach down again to touch herself and intensify the feeling, but he pulled her wrist and sat up slightly, bringing both hands behind her back. “Not yet.” he whispered. He kissed up her neck, brushing his lips against her as he moved and she lifted her head back to feel his mouth and tongue on her skin.

“You feel so good Bobbi.” Chakotay let out a moan, and wrapped both arms around her, pulling her around underneath him. His hips slid between her legs and he paused for another second, putting his hand back around her neck drawing her focus up at him. “Tell me what you want.”

She could barely form the words now, her head still spinning from the feeling of grinding on top of him. “I want to feel you inside of me, I want you to fuck me.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes, sir.”

Her words were ringing in his ears …’yes, sir’... and he thrusted the length of his cock deep inside of her wet pussy, watching her face change as she gasped when he filled her. She moaned into his thrusts, and floated her hands up his arms onto his shoulders where she dug in her nails to his back. He felt her nails pierce his skin and thrusted deeper, and her hips matched his rhythm pushing herself harder onto him. His grip on her throat tightened slightly, and he pulled himself up to watch her body move and quiver. Her moans became louder and surrounded him, and he slowed his pace, carefully feeling every inch coming in and out of her.

Her sex was like velvet, soft and hot around his cock, he moaned at the feeling of her legs beginning to shake. He came to a stop still inside of her and watched her hips squirm around him. Slowly pulling out, he took his hand off her neck and moved it back onto her clit, rubbing slow circles with the pads of his fingers. Waves of pleasure were washing over her as she moaned again. “Turn over.” he said, still rubbing her clit. She groaned and pushed her hips into his hand. He leaned down to kiss her, and said in a low voice in her ear, “You’re not listening, I said turn over.” taking his hand away sharply, and stroking himself instead again. She sat up to turn over, and he stopped her abruptly, thrusting his fingers inside of her pulling them towards her g-spot. “What do you say?”

Her head was dizzy again, but she knew the words this time. “Yes sir.” she moaned.

“Good girl.” Chakotay kissed her again.

She turned over with one knee on the couch and the other leg extended down to the floor, not bothering to hold herself up, she let her back arch and her arms slide forwards above her head. His hands trailed her spine and the curve of her hips before he thrusted into her again. She let out a cry from the pleasure, the change in position reaching new parts of herself. He filled her again and again, grabbing her hips to thrust harder and deeper, listening to her cries and moans change with his changes. “Fuck” she moaned again, “Oh fuck” her body was starting to tense and quiver, and he responded thrusting faster. “Please, you feel so good” she mumbled into the cushion between gasps.

It felt so good to be inside of her, but hearing her say it brought him over the edge. He started to moan, thrusting harder and deeper, and bent down over her to pull her further into him, reaching a hand around to massage her clit while she quivered and begged. He spoke into her ear again in that low commanding voice “Tell me again, the right way.”

“You feel so good inside of me sir, please don’t stop” She barely made the sentence out before she started shaking again with waves of pleasure.

Chakotay felt her orgasam around his cock from the tightening pulses, and slowed his pace to match her body. “Do you want me to keep going?” He asked gently, knowing she might not tolerate more.

She lazily nodded her head, and mumbled into the cushion again “mhm.”

He chuckled at her response, and paused inside of her. “Turn over again.” She did so without hesitation. “That’s not right, what do you say?”

“Yes sir.” She smiled up at him, like she had almost gotten away with it.

In that moment she had the most beautiful smile in the world. He couldn't help but kiss her again, and again, and trailed down her chest, and breasts, and stomach, kissing her all the way until his mouth found her sex. She gasped again, as he slowly dragged his tongue over her clit, moving softly and carefully. She tasted like heaven, and she squirmed as his tongue began to flick faster. He thrusted his fingers inside of her, and started to suck on her clit, looking up as her body moved and swayed with his actions. Her hands curled into his hair, pulling his face down into her pussy. He reached down with his other hand and stroked himself again, before sitting up and putting the length of his cock back inside of her.

She let out another gasp, and he began to thrust rhythmically with her hips pushing into him. He stayed with his body pressed against hers this time, feeling her every movement. Her moans became more intense, and he moved faster letting out moans of his own from the feeling of her body pressed up against him. “I’m going to come.” no longer able to resist the feeling, he managed the words between thrusts.

“I want you to cum inside me.” She responded, feeling the length of him and hearing his moans, knowing it was her turn again.

He had no time to correct her with their little game, he could feel his orgasam pulsing in her as he thrusted deeply one last time, feeling the waves flow through him, and cumming inside of her. She could feel the heat from the cum running down onto her thighs, and the pulses in his cock as he remained still. They breathed deeply together, being still, feeling each other's breath, dizzy from the orgasams, and happy.

A small laugh escaped Bobbi as she felt the weight of Chakotay laying ontop of her, and he started to laugh too. Before they knew it they were both laughing together, a mess on the couch. She sat up with him and curled into his arms. It still felt so good to be touched, by someone, by anyone. They were all alone together in this quadrant, and neither of them knew exactly how much they needed it, that is right up until they knew how much they needed it.

#voyager #star trek #chakotay #fic #lemons #star trek voyager #mine #fanfic #oc #6k #pwp #smut #writing

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summahsunlight · 4 years

Text

This Way Became My Journey, Ch. 21

The cave's walls were dark, thick. The only light was from the wrist torch. She moved through the tight cave, being careful where she stepped so she wouldn't slip and fall on the smooth rocks and dirt beneath her feet.

Up ahead she could see a large cavern. There was something there that she was looking for, she wasn't sure how she knew that, but she did. She entered the deep chasm only to find more rock, more dirt. Not what she was looking for. She pressed forward even more, now a voice in the back of her head telling her to go back. It sounded like Chakotay over the comline. 'Lieutenant, don't go any further until I get there.'

He sounds like my brother, she thought, ignoring his request.

It was foolish not to listen. Someone or something was standing in front of her, pointing a weapon at her. It was grotesque, with skin graphs and hair falling out, almost like a decaying corpse walking around.

The pain shot through her so quickly that she couldn't even register a scream. All that came out was a gasp for air, and then suddenly she realized, she couldn't get air.

'Lieutenant? Can you hear me?'

Chakotay's voice again, but she couldn't answer back, she couldn't breath, it was as if her lungs were gone…

With a start Sarah Barrett sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath, and was relieved that she could breathe. She suddenly realized that Chakotay was indeed talking to her over the comlink and it had been what had roused her from the nightmare. Shaking, she reached out and grabbed at the combadge that was resting on the nightstand. Pressing it between her thumb and pointer finger, she responded, "Go ahead Commander."

"For a moment I thought you were ignoring me," Commander Chakotay's voice chuckled.

"Sorry, I…my mind was elsewhere," she said. "What can I do for you Commander?"

"I'm on my way to meet with the Captain before reporting to duty," Chakotay told her. "She was asking about you yesterday. Should I tell her you'll be ready to report back to duty in a couple of days?"

Sarah got up off the bed and went into the bathroom, scowling at her mussed hair and drained appearance. "I'm going to see the Doctor this morning. If all goes like I'm hoping I'll be reporting for duty today." She reached for the hair brush that was on the sink and began to tackle the tangles that plagued her dark tresses. "I don't think I can spend another day reading, or organizing my sock drawer."

Another chuckle. "I'll let Captain Janeway know to expect you. Chakotay out."

Slipping out of her tangled nightgown she mumbled to the computer to activate the sonic shower. She preferred a good bath or a real water shower, but time was not going to permit it. She was due to report to the Doctor in less than twenty minutes. A quick sonic shower was all she had time for, to wash away the grim from a restless sleep.

It was easy to find her uniform, since she had been taken off the duty roster for a week and a half, it had laid on the dining room chair. When she had slipped out of her quarters to see the Doctor she had been clad in civilian attire, reasoning there was no point to traipsing around the ship in uniform when she wasn't on duty.

The fabric felt starchy against her skin. It also proved to be difficult to get into the tight fitting turtleneck since her rib cage was still sore from the crash. Gritting her teeth and bearing it, for she didn't care anymore how much pain she was in, she was going to report to duty that day. She was tired of so many things. There was only so much classic literature and reorganizing drawers one person could take. She had even rearranged the furniture in the living and dining areas to make the room more easily traveled. The Doctor would probably throw a fit if he knew she had done that with her tender ribs.

Tucking her hair back into a twist, she clipped her combadge onto her tunic, and with a final glance to make sure that her pips were on straight, left the quarters.

A few crewmen who were on their way to their duties stations or back to their quarters nodded their heads at her in greeting before going about their business. Everything had pretty much returned back to normal for them the moment Chakotay and Sarah had been transported back to Voyager. However, it was a different story, at least for Sarah. It was going to be a while for her to feel normal again.

The dreams were not helping her out any.

They had started when Harry Kim had come by to visit her and offered to 'cook' dinner for her. The two had shared some stories about what was going on on the bridge, how the Captain seemed ready to burst at the seams because she was solely relying on Neelix for diplomatic advice, and that the Talaxian had been bubbling about some planetoid that could go a long way in helping them with their dilithium supplies. In fact, it had been that night she had the first dream of being in a cavern, being stalked and then feeling a sensation of having her lungs ripped out of her body.

At first she had thought it was post traumatic stress. But now she was beginning to think otherwise.

"Deck five," she called out when she entered the turbolift. This trip had become routine everyday and if the Doctor was capable of making friends, Sarah was sure that they would be best buddies by now because she had been in sickbay so often the last ten or so days.

The routine was getting old, and she could tell it wasn't only getting old for her. The Doctor didn't seem practically thrilled when she showed up for her check up everyday. Then again, the Doctor didn't seem thrilled about anything unless he was in the midst of some medical crisis. So much for Starfleet's brilliant idea of leaving starships with a back up doctor; it was obvious that they weren't thinking long term solution when they programmed him. Otherwise, Sarah was convinced that the Doctor would have been programmed to be a bit more…understanding.

"You're late," the hologram snapped out when she entered. "And in uniform. Is there some change in schedule that I should be made aware of? Last I checked you weren't scheduled to report for duty for another two days."

Tom's right, his bedside manner does need to be improved if he's going to be our chief medical officer for the next seventy five years. "I'm getting sick of sitting around," Sarah replied, going to stand near the instrument table. "Just scan me, say I'm fit for active duty, and I'll go about my merry way."

The Doctor picked up a medical tricorder. "Are you in any pain?"

"Nothing I can't handle," she said.

The hologram heaved a sigh and put the tricorder down. "Why does this crew insist to go against their doctor's wishes?"

"Maybe you just got a crew with ADD," Sarah replied, with a teasing smirk.

"You're no better than the rest of them," he snapped. "I would think that the ship's counselor would hold herself above such pettiness."

"Sorry I don't live up to your high standards."

The Doctor placed the tricorder back onto the tray. "Other than the fact that your rib cage is still tender from the surgery, you're fit for duty. BUT I've already put a recommendation in that you do not go on any away missions until further notice."

Well, that is going to put a dampener on things. "You're the Doctor," she mumbled, unhappy about being restricted to the ship.

"At least someone on this ship realizes that," he returned, beginning to leave the room.

"Doctor, wait," she called out. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'm listening."

"I've been having these dreams, of being in a cave, looking for something. I hear Commander Chakotay tell me not to go any further, but I keep going," Sarah said. "I'm…I'm attacked by what I think is an alien, but I can't be sure, it looks more like a corpse. The last thing that happens before I wake up is I feel like my lungs are…are gone. Could it…could it be post traumatic stress?"

The Doctor didn't even bat an eyelash. "It's possible. But…you are the counselor, why are you asking me?"

She shrugged her slender shoulders. "I guess I just wanted a second opinion."

"I can give you something to help you sleep, but if the dreams do not go away I'd talk to someone about it," the Doctor replied.

"Talk to someone? To who?" Sarah inquired.

"You must have friends, Miss Barrett," he replied.

You're not alone. Chakotay. "Well…yes, I guess I do."

"Then my suggestion to you Miss Barrett is this, talk to a friend about your experiences on that planetoid. It wouldn't hurt you, only help."

"Hi Commander Chakotay, Mama's trying to get Ava dressed, she's being stubborn," Michael Janeway greeted, startling the first officer, who had not been expecting the boy to answer the door.

Like mother like daughter, Chakotay thought as he stepped into the quarters. Peering around the room he noticed that Tal Celes, the children's nanny, was not present. Usually when he stopped by in the morning before proceeding to the bridge, Tal was there, chipper as ever, playing with the children. "Tal isn't here yet?"

"She's sick, Mama said she was exposed to the worst germ carriers of all," Michael replied. "What do you think she meant by that Commander Chakotay?"

Chakotay shook his head, deciding to play it safe. "I wouldn't know," he replied with a smile, picturing the Captain uttering those words to her inquisitive son. "I'm sure your mother has taken care of those germ carriers, Michael."

At this moment Kathryn emerged from the baby's room, a wailing, but a fully dressed Ava, toddling after her. If the Captain was bothered by the little girl's crying, her face didn't show it. Instead, she reached out, grabbed her uniform tunic that was resting over the back of a chair and put it on. Smiling at Chakotay, she said, "Care to join us for breakfast?"

"I've already had mine, thanks," he replied, keeping his eyes on the toddler. Ava was demanding attention by clinging tightly to her mother's pant leg.

Kathryn responded by shrugging it off. "It's a shame; I heard that the rations were particularly dehydrated this morning." Her ignoring Ava only seemed to make the baby angry. She suddenly shrieked which caused everyone in the room to shiver at the high pitch. "It's also a shame that you won't have the pleasure of dining with my children, who absolutely love ration packs."

"That's not true, Mama," Michael protested, covering his ears to try and drown out Ava's screaming. "I hate them."

Chakotay chuckled. "Apparently, he hasn't learned the concept of sarcasm yet."

"He will, soon enough," the Captain drawled, finishing up with her tunic. With a final straightening of her uniform, she was all business as usual. "How much longer until we reach this planet that Neelix keeps boasting about?"

"Shouldn't be long now," Chakotay replied. "Just enough time to enjoy your breakfast with your delightful daughter."

Kathryn frowned at Ava who had now latched onto her mother's leg, wrapping her arms and own legs about it tightly. The woman pried the child free and looked sheepishly back at the commander. "I thought I was beyond this when Tal agreed to take care of them, however, I never took into consideration that children spread germs, quite frequently may I add, and she would get sick."

"Well, what's one more day in the ready room, really when you look at the grand scheme of things?"

"We're going to spend the day with you?" Michael asked, excitedly, his eyes lighting up, the thought of eating rations again for breakfast gone. "Do you think Tom will let me fly the ship?"

Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged glances. "I...I'll have to think about that one, honey. Maybe when you're older."

A disappointed look fell over the child's face but Kathryn was soon ushering them all out into the corridor and towards the turbo lift, where they would proceed to the mess hall. Ava seemed less than thrilled to be leaving, especially since her mother absolutely refused to pick her up and continued to sob all the way to the turbo lift, the ride to deck two, and the way towards the captain's private dining room. Stealing a glance at the child, who was practically running to keep up, Chakotay was struck with how much she resembled her mother, even at this young of an age.

Her eyes were just as bright a blue, just as fiery, her hair shimmered copper in the lights, and even the curve of her lips was identical of that to Kathryn. It was almost as if Kathryn had a little clone walking around. He chuckled at that thought. As if this crew needed two Kathryn Janeways.

"Commander? Have you heard anything I've said?"

Chakotay snapped his eyes up to meet Kathryn's. "I, ah…was distracted."

A smile played on her lips. "It's best to ignore her. She'll stop…eventually."

"I'm sure she will, now what were you saying?"

"We need to come up with a way of refining the dilithium, assuming Neelix is right, and that there is any on the planet we're heading too," Kathryn replied, as the walked along the observation deck.

"Lieutenant Torres has already asked permission to make modifications to the auxiliary impulse reactor," Chakotay answered her, watching as Michael went to peek out the large windows, briefly, trying to get away from Ava, who had resorted to following her brother around now since she wasn't getting a reaction out of her mother and the commander. "It could be converted into a crude dilithium refinery."

"The impulse reactor?" Kathryn repeated a grin on her face. They stopped walking, while the children peered out the large windows. "Sometimes I think B'Elanna goes out of her way to find solutions that ignore Starfleet procedures."

"Her arguments are quite convincing. She thinks it can be done safely."

"I'm sure it can," Kathryn said, starting to walk away again, not even telling the children she was moving. "Tell her I want regular reports on her progress."

Chakotay turned about to join her and saw that Michael jogged away from the window to catch up, Ava, who had stopped her crying for a brief moment while looking out the window, suddenly bawled again, and chased after him, her little feet laboring to keep up.

"Are you sure you won't join us for breakfast?" Kathryn asked him again, her eyes traveling back towards the children. "I was thinking of having eggs Benedict with asparagus, strawberries and cream…"

They stopped in front of the doors to her private dining room. Chakotay scratched his head for a moment, wondering if perhaps in all the commotion of the morning, she had forgotten that the replicators were still down from the Rupor attack a week prior.

She caught the look on his face. "I said I was thinking about it. I'm actually having ration pack number five; stewed tomatoes with dehydrated eggs."

"Mmm, sounds delicious, but I've already had my vacuum packed oatmeal this morning," he said, with a sneaky smile. Michael was making a face and he reached out and mussed his hair. "See you on the bridge."

"Bye Commander," Michael said, happily.

Kathryn watched him go for a moment, pondering the relationship that had started to sprout up between Michael and her first officer. Naturally Michael had latched on so to speak to the men, he loved it when Tom joined the children for lunch in the mess hall, and he was always asking Harry engineering questions. But for some reason, the bond between Michael and Chakotay was different. Chakotay was gentle with them, soft spoken. The children felt comfortable around him and Michael had taken to asking him life's questions, like a child would their father. This for some reason, bothered her. It wasn't that Michael was purposely trying to replace his father, the grief counselor back on Earth had told her that it would be good for him to find a surrogate father so to speak. Kathryn had always been comfortable when that roll had been filled by Gabriel Dawson, the children's uncle, but now, seventy thousand light years from home, the thought that her first officer could take on that roll, unnerved her at the same time it comforted her.

"Mama, are we going to eat?"

Eyes locking with her son's she realized she had been daydreaming. "Yes, sorry, I was thinking." She reached out and punched in the access code to the dining room. The doors swished open and the family was greeted with the smell of cooking food and smoke.

At the far end of the room, where the replicators had once been, was a couple of burners, that looked like they had hastily been put together, and were flaming. Kathryn, seeing the flames, instinctively stepped in front of her children, scooping a now shocked Ava up into her arms.

She wasn't surprised to find Neelix twittering about in the middle of this mess. "What is going on here?"

"Captain you caught me by surprise!"

"I could say the same thing," Kathryn snapped sarcastically, following Neelix back into what used to be her private dining room. "What are you doing?"

"Well, that's obvious Mama, he's cooking," Michael piped up. His mother shot him a glare and he shrunk against the wall, tucking his hands behind his back.

Neelix went on to explain that he knew the senior officers weren't happy with the ration packs so he decided to take some of the vegetables from the hydroponics bay that Kes had created and make a galley. "It wasn't easy. I had to completely reroute the Mess Hall power conduits and scrounge a lot of supplies from all over the ship, but that's my specialty making something out of nothing."

Kathryn shifted Ava onto one hip. How in the hell did he do all this without any of us noticing? "Neelix," she said, in her best command voice, gripping his arm with the hers that had been freed up by shifting Ava about,"who approved this?"

"Uh, well…no one."

"Uh-oh," Michael muttered from his spot on the wall. "Not a good idea Neelix." Being the son of a Starfleet captain, and the nephew of a Starfleet lawyer, Michael knew a lot about protocol, and that his mother was never happy when that protocol had been breached. The burners started to flame even more and he stepped back in fear of getting burnt. Neelix quickly went to drown the flames with a towel, Kathryn following behind him.

"You might have asked me first," she said, hotly. "This used to be my private dining room."

Neelix looked surprised at that. "Your, your dining room? Oh…ah I guess you'll be wanting me to get this out of your way."

"Bridge to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead."

"We're approaching the rogue planetoid."

"On my way," she responded, turning to Neelix. "I want you to come with me. We will deal with this later." She gestured for Michael to come with her and left the room as Neelix hurriedly gave Ensign Parsons directions on how to keep the kitchen running while he was gone.

She had to admit that a galley would be nice, real food would be nice for a change, but it didn't take away from the fact that Neelix had not come to her first. Of course, how was he supposed to know such things, not being from Starfleet? The surprise of finding him cooking in the private dining room had done one positive thing; it had stopped Ava's crying. Kathryn felt it safe to put the child onto the floor of the turbo lift just as the doors opened to the bridge.

Pointing towards the empty engineering station she told Michael to call up some program that she had been working on to start his basic schooling. It wasn't much, she knew, but for now it was going to have to do. Tal had agreed to watch the children, but she had told the Captain, openly that she probably was not the best teacher for the children, seeing how Michael could do multiplication at the age of five, and she hadn't even been able to do that at the age of eleven.

The boy was eager to start the new lesson and climbed up into the seat that was too big for him, typing away at the console. Ava waddled after him and somehow managed to squeeze her little body into the chair with him.

Kathryn stole a glance at her first officer, a thought suddenly occurring to her.

"I already locked out the ship's systems. The only thing he can access is the programs you specified," Chakotay said, with a bemused look. "There'll be no action figures in the conduits today."

He has to bring that up, Kathryn thought begrudgingly. Before Tal, the children had run rampant on the ship, Kathryn not being able to keep up with them and her work. Michael had even gone as far as crawling into a Jefferies tube with Ava and playing around with a power conduit, later claiming that it had been Ava who put the action figure in it. Kathryn had never quite believed him. "What have you found?" she finally asked Harry Kim.

"We're picking up definite dilithium signatures, Captain," Kim answered. "The strongest readings are originating from ten to twenty kilometers inside the planetoid."

"It also looks like the there's a series of subterranean caves, with an oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere," B'Elanna Torres reported from the Science station.

"Class-M," Chakotay stated, standing next to Paris at conn. "It'll make mining a lot easier if we can go in there without environmental suits."

"How much dilithium are we talking about?"

"It's hard to get a precise reading. It could be anywhere from five hundred to…one thousand metric tons."

"Just as I said," Neelix declared, quite proud of himself. Kathryn already annoyed with him that morning, gave him a look that he didn't seem to notice. "I bet there are a few Yallitian engineers who'd give all three of their spinal columns to know where this planet is."

Kathryn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Commander," she addressed Chakotay, "take an away team down into those caves and do a preliminary geological analysis. Lieutenant," she said, now addressing B'Elanna, "you better get your dilithium refinery online."

"It'll be ready to go in three days."

Kathryn gave her a nod of approval while Chakotay told Harry to join him. She felt Neelix brush her arm as he moved behind her towards Chakotay. She turned towards her seat watching with amusement the look that came across Chakotay's face as the Talaxian crossed the bridge to meet up with him. Lowering her body down she heard Chakotay ask where Neelix was going.

"With you," Neelix answered, enthusiastically. "I've been studying my Tricorder Operations Manual. Lieutenant Torres has brought me up to date on dilithium geophysics." He turned towards Kathryn, who was listening to the exchange intently. "I've been preparing for this mission all week."

You can't fault him for wanting to help out. "Very well, Mister Neelix," was all she said before Chakotay disappeared into the turbo lift, with what she could have sworn was a I'll get you back glare.

Neelix sputtered after him. "I'll think you'll find me extremely helpful, Commander. I remember the first time I flew by this planet, I think it was about three years ago…"

"Deck four," Harry Kim called out desperately and the lift's doors closed.

Kathryn laughed silently and gazed at the back of Tom Paris' head. Neelix could be a little too eager which in turn made him impulsive at times, but his heart was in the right place, she concluded.

The doors to the turbo lift could be heard swishing open again and for a moment she thought that Chakotay had buckled and sent Neelix back. Turning her head she saw her counselor step onto the bridge. Kathryn couldn't help but feel warmed by her presence. The last week and a half had been awkwardly silent without the counselor there while she recovered from her injuries and infection which she had sustained in a shuttle crash.

"Reporting for duty, ma'am," Sarah Barrett said, sliding into an at ease position. "The Doctor gave me the go ahead to return to active duty."

"Welcome back, Lieutenant," Kathryn said with a smile, gesturing towards her chair. "Take a seat. We've missed you around here."

Sarah made her way down the steps and to the bench chair that she had occupied every duty shift until she had gotten injured. "Did I miss much?" she asked, with a teasing smile.

Kathryn shook her head. "No, just the same old same old. You know how it goes."

"I heard about Neelix turning your dining room into a galley," Sarah said. "If you want I can talk to him, it is after all my fault."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Before Chakotay and I left on the mission to Karva, he asked me if there was a way he could help out around here more, I told him that I would sit down and talk with him when I got back," she replied. "But, we all know how the story goes from there. I guess he got a little impatient."

The Captain brushed her off with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about. It was hardly traumatic; a bit of a surprise, but nothing that can't be easily repaired. Besides, I'm not sure I want him to dismantle the galley just yet."

"You don't?"

"He had a valid point that the senior officers, myself included, have not been too fond of the ration packs lately," Kathryn pointed out, glancing up at Michael, who every time his mother mentioned it was meal time would scowl in disgust and groan, not ration packs again.

Sarah noticed where she was looking and commented, "I see the cherubs are joining us today."

"I wouldn't know about any cherubs," Kathryn replied, dryly, "but the children are here. Tal's sick, and it's making me rethink the situation. I don't think it's fair to have her watch them six days a week; her only off day my only off day. Maybe I should be offering her a break, taking them two days a week. It would only work out to one day on the bridge; we can spend my day off in our quarters or on the holodeck." She saw the exasperated look that came over Sarah's face. "I know, I know, we'd have to step up security."

The young woman swallowed. "You do remember the time that Michael tried to access helm control, right? If Mister Paris hadn't been near by, who knows what would have happened to Voyager. Ma'am, I understand it's been difficult, but if Tal isn't complaining, maybe we should just…leave things alone."

"If it's not broke why fix it?," Kathryn said, with a shy grin.

"What we need is someone to be their teacher, someone aside from a babysitter, that way it gives Tal a break from having both of them all the time," Sarah suggested and immediately regretted opening her mouth. The Captain got a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Good idea, Counselor," she said. "Why don't you start working on candidates that you would think will make a good teacher? Of course I would have done it myself, but I don't know the crew as well as you do; this is a good assignment for you, and it fits in with the light duties that the Doctor suggested until you're one hundred percent back on your feet."

Tom Paris turned slightly in his chair to give her a teasing look and she felt her cheeks flush for a moment. Lowering her eyes, she focused on the gray carpet. "Yes, ma'am, I'll get working on it right away."

Kathryn laughed to herself and leaned back into her chair.

"Sickbay to the Bridge," the Doctor's persistent voice came over the comlink.

"Go ahead Doctor."

"Captain, I think you should come down here. There's been a medical emergency with the away team."

#star trek voyager #star trek voyager fanfiction #kathryn janeway #chakotay #tom paris #sarah barrett (oc)#harry kim #tuvok #b'elanna torres #neelix #kes #the doctor (emh)#janeway x chakotay #tom paris x ofc

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sharpnothashtag · 4 years

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The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 30

Author’s Note: I needed some time away from that last story. Call it a mid-season break, if you’ll allow it. Now, for something I’ve wanted to do for literal years. (Yes, the stardate is going to be inaccurate because as much as I want to care about it, I don’t. Two years have passed since chapter 1; six months have passed since chapter 29. That’s all you need to know.)

Seven is walking through the corridors, nodding at doctors who smile at her.

Seven: Personal log, stardate 97770.33. Admiral Paris has called myself, Captain Janeway, B’Elanna Torres, Tom Paris, the Doctor, and a few people I have not yet met to an early morning meeting. It is rather inconvenient timing, as I was beginning to incorporate a new aspect to the filing system that would improve its efficiency. Now, until I am permitted to return to my duties, the system will remain in its current state of disarray.

Seven walks up to a door. She rings the chime.

KJ: Come! Seven: (enters, it’s a conference room. KJ is seated near the head of the table. Seven nods in acknowledgement.) Captain. KJ: Good morning, Seven. Seven: How was your sleep? KJ: Beverly woke me up snoring. (drowning her yawns in coffee. ...) Since when do you care? Seven: The Doctor and I have been talking about little talk. It seems an inefficient way of communication, but the Doctor tells me it is seen as polite. KJ: It’s called “small talk,” Seven. And I am perfectly fine to sit in silence--my restless night has left me rather cantankerous this morning. (Seven nods in acknowledgement. They have one more moment of silence before Tom and B’Elanna enter. They see the way the Captain is chugging her coffee and decide not to comment. They have a seat as well. AP enters, smiling warmly.)

AP: Good morning, all. Tom, would you mind bringing the Doctor up on this panel so we can begin? Tom: Yes, sir. Will there be anyone else joining us, sir? AP: Yes, but I need to brief you all on your mission first. Tom: Understood, sir. (He goes to the panel, presses a few buttons, and the EMH appears.) EMH: Good morning, Lieutenant Paris. Tom: Good morning, Doctor. AP: Good morning, all. I’m so glad to see you all again. You all know I don’t like to beat around the bush, and there isn’t much time before you need to leave. I’ll be brief. We’ve managed to narrow down the location of the Voyager crew to a section of M class planets toward the border of the Delta and Alpha Quadrants. We’ve not been able to communicate, but the homing signal they sent finally reached us. According to his report, there were several minor injuries, but the planet they landed on had a benevolent species that took pity on them and helped them get to a stable position. They, as far as I know, are waiting to be rescued, as the escape pods were very badly damaged in the landing. We’re giving you a ship to bring back your crew. (brings up an image. smiling) Friends, this is the USS Ohana. KJ: (smiling) Family. Family means no one gets left behind. AP: She’s intrepid class, just like Voyager. She should have more than enough space to get all of you back in one piece. KJ: She’s beautiful. When do we leave? AP: Well, as soon as your new crew members get here. Seven: New crew members? AP: Yes. First, (pulling up a headshot) your head of security and first officer, Lieutenant Commander Tasha Yar. KJ: Yes, she can cover that and tactical until we get to Tuvok. That still leaves Ops, assuming that Tom will be covering the helm. AP: Your new Ops officer, Ensign Ro Laren (headshot). I will warn you, Captain. Both women are extremely opinionated and headstrong. KJ: Outspoken, are they? They’ll fit it well. (as if on cue, the doorbell chimes.) AP: Come! (Tasha and Ro enter.) KJ: (to Tasha) Commander Yar, yes? Tasha: Lieutenant Commander, but yes. Tasha Yar. AP: Report to cargo bay 4 in 2 hours. Dismissed. Tasha: (to KJ) Good to meet you, sir. KJ: Just “Captain” is fine. I’ll be calling you “Number One.” (They all walk toward the Turbolift together.)

Tasha: I am honored. Captain Picard used to call Commander Riker that. KJ: You served aboard the Enterprise? Tasha: Yes, many years ago. I left for another position on a smaller ship that had the opportunity of advancement; Captain Picard gave me his blessing, as he and Captain Anton Farley were in the academy together. (smirking) He said I could learn a good deal from him. KJ: It’s a long story, but I became “Number One” after Commander Riker left for his position aboard The Excalibur. Ensign Ro, is it? Ro: Yes, Captain. Thank you for using my proper name. KJ: No need to thank me for common decency. Commander Chakotay taught me well. B’Elanna: Speaking of Chakotay, where is he? Seven: He is on an extended spirit quest. He left messages with Starfleet Command that he would be back in a few months. Admiral Paris felt it best to respect his religious practices and appoint you instead, Commander Yar. Ro: Now, Chakotay, why do I know that name? B’Elanna: It’s been a long time, but he and I fought with the Maquis against the Cardassians. Ro: But you aren’t Bajoran. B’Elanna: But Starfleet sure as hell didn’t give a damn. We knew what needed to be done, and so we went to help, no matter what that meant.

(Tasha and Ro share a look. They’re uncomfortable and that is clear. They certainly aren’t going to acknowledge what’s bothering them here. The turbolift comes and we are back with KJ and Bev.)

Bev: You’re going to call me every day at lunch, right? KJ: Of course. I looked at the coordinates briefly--it doesn’t seem like it will be that long of a trip as far as navigation goes. The species Tuvok has befriended seems docile and willing to learn from us according to his report. I’d say I’ll be back in a month. Bev: Every day, Kate. KJ: 1200 hours. We’ll keep up. And when I get back, you’ll get to meet my crew. Bev: When you get back, can we tell your mom about us? KJ: (stopping dead in her tracks) Tell my mom? Bev: I don’t have parents to tell that I’m happy. My closest friends and family already know you, especially since Wesley finally came to see me and you met him. It’s time for your mom to know. KJ: I know it’s time. I’m just worried that if we tell her, she’s going to fall apart. It’s only been 6 months since Phoebe died. Bev: Her daughter is happy. How could she “fall apart” over that? KJ: I don’t know. I guess I’m just scared. Bev: We’ll make a trip to see her and tell her in person. It’ll be fun! Plus I’ll finally get to meet Molly and Rocco. I’ve been excited about that for a long time. KJ: Molly and Rocco will love you, and so will my mom after knowing that you’re my girlfriend. (leaning in to kiss her) Just like I love you now. (in each other’s arms) You’re the most loving, loyal, positive, funny, and sarcastic person I’ve ever known. I love you. Bev: I love you, too. KJ: I need to go. Bev: Do you have to? (starting to go in for another kiss) KJ: I might have 15 minutes or so...(going in for a kiss on the neck) Bev: Good. That’s just enough time.

Tasha is packing. Ro enters.

Ro: Tasha, are we not going to talk about this? Tasha: There’s nothing left to talk about. Ro: Yes, there is. We’re going to rescue some former Maquis. Tasha: Former Maquis who then became Starfleet officers. Ro: (sitting down on the bed) Tash, I need a friend right now. Tasha: A Maquis wanting to befriend a Starfleet officer? Ro: Will you just shut UP about that?! (Tasha takes a deep breath and sits down next to her.) I defected to the Maquis, yes. That’s only because I saw my people suffering. I saw myself as a little girl again. I couldn’t watch other people watch their fathers die like I did. I just couldn’t. Tasha: Listen...I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I was hurting for a long time. You and I were really happy, and then you defected. It felt personal. Ro: You know it’s not. Tasha: I saw the way you were looking at that Kira Nerys. Don’t tell me that had nothing to do with it. Ro: That’s just it! Kira had nothing to do with it. Tasha: Bullshit. Ro: Ok. But not in the way you’re thinking. She understood my passion for Bajor. She knew that Starfleet couldn’t help me with that. Tasha: And that’s where the problem really is--you think that I didn’t understand, or that I couldn’t. I grew up outrunning rape gangs, Ro. I know what it’s like to have an unsafe, miserable childhood. Ro: But you don’t know what it is to have someone else understand that and be able to help you through that. Be able to give you something to do about it. Tasha: ...I thought I did. I really thought I did. (Tasha gets up from the bed and starts to finish up her packing.) Ro: Tasha. Tasha: Dismissed, Ensign. (Ro sighs. She looks at Tasha longingly one more time. She leaves.)

Seven is in the Medical facility. It’s clear she’s stressed out. Erin: Annika, just let me take care of that while you’re away. Seven: My name is not Annika any longer. Erin: What should your designation be, then? Seven: Seven of Nine is more than appropriate, even if it is a bit vague. Erin: Seven, please. Just let me take care of the records while you’re gone. Seven: You won’t know what to do. Erin: Yes, I will. Seven: (stops what she’s doing) Show me. (Erin does the same sequence of events Seven has been doing.) You have forgotten to capitalize Biquv’s name under “assigned counselor.” Erin: But is the rest of it up to your standards? Seven: It is...passable. Thank you, Erin. Erin: You’re welcome. (Seven starts to walk away.) I was wanting to talk to you. Seven: (Stops, turns on her heels. slightly annoyed.) Proceed. Erin: We didn’t get the time to be mother and daughter. When you return, could we start getting to know each other? Seven: When I return, I will have many things to do. Erin: But you have to eat. We could at least eat together. Seven: (taking a deep breath) We will attempt conversation once a week. Erin: Five times. Seven: Three. Erin: Sold. Now hurry--your mission can’t wait.

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divinemissem13 · 6 months

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Pressure Points

Flufftober, day 17: Massage (reddit)/ Encouraging s.o. to achieve goal (tumblr) Fandom: Star Trek VOY, TNG Ship: Beverly Crusher/ Kathryn Janeway AO3 link

These two deserve some fluff after what I put them through yesterday. Enjoy!

--- Beverly was curled up on the couch in her quarters, reviewing the data on the plants that the away team had brought back from the day’s mission when Kathryn let herself in. Without so much as a hello, the captain kicked off her boots and flopped herself down at the other end of the couch, swinging her legs up so that they landed in Beverly’s lap.

“Long day?” Beverly asked wryly.

Kathryn’s only response was to wiggle her toes in Beverly’s lap and make an indistinct sound somewhere between a whine and a grunt. It was clear that Kathryn was not in a talkative mood, so Beverly filled in Kathryn’s part of the conversation as she gave in and started rubbing her feet.

“Oh, hello, Beverly. How was your day?” “Not bad, thanks for asking. A few of the plants you all brought up have some interesting potential.” “That’s wonderful news. How did I get so lucky to have such a brilliant and resourceful CMO?” “Don’t forget beautiful.” “Oh yes, extremely beautiful. The most beautiful CMO in all of Starfleet.”

Kathryn made another noise that could have been a chuckle or a whimper, but she did crack one eye open to regard Beverly as she finally mumbled some actual words. “Sorry. I might be –” she paused to suck air in through her teeth as Beverly began massaging in earnest, “getting too old for this,” she concluded, clearly exhausted from the effort of putting together a coherent sentence.

Beverly wondered if this might be a moment of clarity or if Kathryn was just whining for the sake of whining. She hoped it was the former - they had, after all, been having that argument for months - but knew it was more likely the latter so she didn’t press the issue. Not when Kathryn was too exhausted to fight back.

“Oh God you’re good at that,” Kathryn moaned as Beverly dug into a particularly sensitive spot.

“Good to know all those years of medical training weren’t wasted,” Beverly smirked. “Switch,” she added, dropping one of Kathryn’s feet and picking up the other. She worked diligently at the taut muscles as Kathryn’s eyes began to drift closed and her head sunk lower on the arm of the couch.

When Beverly was sure Kathryn had fallen asleep, she carefully set the foot in her lap next to its mate and began stretching out her own hands so they didn’t cramp. It wasn’t that she minded giving Kathryn near-constant foot rubs these days – after so many years out here, it was still one of the few comforts that Kathryn would allow herself, and Beverly was more than happy to oblige. But it was very precise work and her hands weren’t as nimble as they used to be.

“You ok?” Kathryn asked sleepily.

“Mmm,” Beverly hummed in response. “I guess I’m just getting old too ,” she couldn’t help but add extra emphasis on the last word. Kathryn didn’t answer and, emboldened by her lack of argument, Beverly pressed a little further. “You know, captains really shouldn’t be leading away missions anyway. That’s what first officers are for.”

“Chakotay is even older than I am!” Kathryn huffed.

“So send Harry. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to take on a little more responsibility. And the experience would be good for him…” Beverly suggested, expertly toeing the line between supporting her commanding officer and encouraging her partner to let go of the reins a bit.

Kathryn grunted noncommittally but she did sit up and hook her feet over Beverly’s legs, using them to pull her closer until she could reach her hands. Her brow furrowed in thought as she automatically began massaging the bothersome joint between Beverly’s thumb and forefinger. “I don’t see you out there training your replacement,” Kathryn pointed out, only somewhat petulantly.

“I have the EMH,” Beverly shrugged and gently pressed her forehead to Kathryn’s, instantly smoothing the lines of consternation that had settled there. “Besides, my job is rarely as physically demanding as yours,” she pointed out, “and I don’t want you working yourself into an early grave.”

Kathryn’s hands stilled at that, and she pulled back just enough to look Beverly in the eyes. “Fine,” she said softly, “I’ll let Harry and some of the others lead some away missions. Sometimes. ”

“Thank you,” Beverly smiled and nuzzled her nose against Kathryn’s. “I just want to keep you around, you know.”

Kathryn hummed her acceptance as Beverly pressed a soft kiss to her lipse. “Likewise,” she murmured and leaned back against the arm of the couch again, lol time pulling Beverly with her.

Kathryn’s arm wrapped around Beverly as her fingers idly twisted through her red hair, now faded almost to blond and speckled with gray. Beverly’s head rested on Kathryn’s shoulder and their legs tangled together while she resumed reading the padd that had briefly been discarded between the couch cushions.

After a moment or two, Kathryn’s voice pierced the contented silence. “If I don’t go on as many away missions, do I still get those magic foot rubs?” she pouted.

Beverly chuckled softly and tilted her head upward to brush a kiss on Kathryn’s jaw. “I think that can probably be arranged,” she teased.

Kathryn hummed her approval, softly kissed Beverly’s temple, and burrowed her face into the top of her head.

Beverly felt Kathryn’s breathing steady out under her head as she drifted off again and she smiled. She knew that they would both likely regret staying in these positions, scrunched against the arm of the couch for too long, but at the moment she didn’t really care. The cramp already forming in her neck would be a good excuse for more in-depth massages later anyway.

#flufftober 2023 #fanfic #massage #day 17 #beverly crusher on voyager #beverly crusher/ kathryn janeway #beverly crusher #kathryn janeway #i wrote this #ao3 link #cuddling & snuggling #femslash

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mia-cooper · 4 years

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Fanfiction Questions

from here

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Involved as in ‘frantically read every book I could get my hands on, daydreamed about being part of that universe and wrote stories/made art inspired by the books, if not actual fanfiction’? Mm, probably The Chronicles of Narnia when I was six or seven. The next great obsession was The Silver Brumby when I went through my horse stage around age 12, and then Sweet Valley High when I was 15. Hahaha.

2. What is your latest fandom?

Marvel! I’m not into comics and I’m definitely not interested in consuming every last bit of canon material or memorising the variations of every universe, but I love (most of) the movies and Agents of SHIELD is pretty cool.

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Star Trek Voyager. No contest. I venture to suggest that the older fandoms, the ones that are all about defunct shows, are a hell of a lot more chilled. Maybe because we’ve come to terms with our shitty canon endings and learned that liking the ship you hate doesn’t make someone problematic, unlike some newer fandoms I could name (Yes I’m talking about you, Game of Thrones fans. What the fuck.)

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I’ve dipped a toe into one or two fandoms for shows or books I’ve really enjoyed and backed the fuck out when the vibe gets weird (oh hey, it’s GoT again), but nope. No regrets.

5. Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

All the Star Treks except TOS, and a Trek/MCU crossover. I’d like to write more for MCU someday. Plus I’ve written longhand entire notebooks full of teen romance shit that bore an uncanny similarity to SVH, and my first short story was a fantasy fic that featured a girl whose guardian was a wise talking lion who led her into mystical secret worlds, which is kind of familiar.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Wow. I’m going to define ‘involved in’ as ‘cared enough about to have an OTP’, but I’m guaranteed to forget a ton. In no particular order:

Voyager: Janeway x anyone who can get her off

Discovery: Lorca x Cornwell or Pike x Tyler x Burnham (or any combination of)

DS9: Kira x Jadzia Dax

TNG: Picard x Vash, I guess? I don’t really have any TNG ships

ENT: T’Pol x Trip x Hoshi (or any variation therein)

MCU: Cap x Widow

AoS: Coulson x Skye... no May... no Skye... I don’t know

CAOS: Madam Satan x Zelda

Timeless: Garcy

The Good Place: Eleanor x Tahani

The 100 (shut up): toss up between Clarke x Bellamy and Kane x Abby

Veronica Mars: Veronica x Leo (first run), Veronica x Logan (s4)

Orphan Black: Cosima x Delphine

BSG: Apollo x Starbuck

SG1: Sam x Jack

Arrow: Olicity (so over the show now though)

This Life: Milly x Egg

Yeah you know what... I’m drawing a blank. I can’t think of any other shows where I’ve been invested in The Romance that much.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

I’m too tired to do every fandom, and besides, I can come around to almost any ship if the headcanons (or fics) are convincing enough. I do have a few hard no-gos, but they might be someone else’s OTP so I’ll shut up about them.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Reluctantly. The MCU movies are not something I ever thought I’d enjoy beyond a dull evening’s entertainment. I never expected to get attached to the characters. And yet.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Voyager is my forever fandom and the only one where I’ve really interacted with other fans. The best things about it? In general, everyone is just cool, accepting, open and basically awesome. And talented. I love my Party Bus people.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Sure. The 100, Veronica Mars and Agents of SHIELD are the ones I’d dip into more frequently. I really enjoy crossovers between Trek and BSG or the Stargate variants, too.

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Janeway x Chakotay.

12. Who is your current OT3?

Janeway x Chakotay x Paris.

13. Any NoTPs?

A few.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Janeway & Tuvok! Also Torres & Chakotay, and I’d have killed for more Janeway & Torres in canon. (If they kissed sometimes that would be okay too)

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Yeah. Paris x Seven. There are like two fics in existence, and yet ... the potential! (Sorry, B’Elanna)

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Nope.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Janeway x Paris. And they’re still way up there, but not quite at the top.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

84% of my fics feature Janeway x Chakotay as either the primary or secondary pairing... holy shit.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Paris x Torres. I mean, I feel them. I just don’t generally feel the need to write about them.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Chakotay x Seven. In another universe, it could’ve been beautiful.

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Actual story that was clearly fanfic? A farcical drunken romp told in the 24th century equivalent of email format called PADDemonium (see what I did there?)

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Lol, a few things that should probably have never seen the light of day for various reasons, some of them leola related. But I’ve only deleted two fics that I can recall.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Relieved. It’s a 30k AU Chakotay moral dilemma backstory that brings in DS9 characters, Section 31 and his longstanding history with AU Janeway. I did so much research for it (way back in the days before memory alpha and chakoteya.net) and I’m really proud of how I wound in canon stuff across series but changed a few key bits and pieces. Only problem is, it’s a sequel to ...

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

... Pressure, which I can’t even read without cringing. My characterisation of Janeway, even Angry Maquis AU Janeway, is way over the top and there are moments that verge on Mills and Boon and give me first, second and third hand embarrassment. God, I’d love to rewrite it. Actually, that’s a lie. I want someone else to rewrite it so I can read it without covering my eyes and moaning.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

Desperate Measures, by about 70,000 light years, lol. Although Fragile Things beats it on bookmarks.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

You know what? A fair percentage of the time, I think of the title first and come up with a plot second. Aside from that, I prefer shorter, punchier titles that clearly tie into the story (Flight Risk, Speechless), though sometimes it’s song lyrics (Burn Our Horizons, your body like a searchlight) or a literary quote (Required to Bear, All the Devils are Here) or a turn of phrase from the story itself (The Prisons You Inhabit). Hey that was fun. Thanks for letting me pimp the shit out of my stories.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Ugh, it depends on the day. Summaries are harder, I think. I never want to give away too much of the plot, but there has to be enough there for people to know whether they’ll bother clicking. Funny story: I actually ran the stats on this a few months back. Here they are for your edification:

Fics with a one line plot summary = 54%

With two or three line plot summary = 18%

With a short snippet directly from the fic = 16%

With a snippet + a one line explanation = 3%

With a one line plot summary plus a line to date the fic (eg "set in season 3", “episode tag to Worst Case Scenario") or the fic prompt = 7%

And finally, a quote from something other than the fic = 2% (that's only 3 fics).

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Ooh. I’ll say the final scene in Explosive.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

I used to regularly ask @jhelenoftrek and @littleobsessions90 to beta for me, and both of them are brilliant at it. Lately I’ve been posting without sending my stuff off for editing. This is partly because I’m impatient to get stuff out there, partly because I don’t have as much time to write/edit, and partly because I’m a little less focused on improving my writing and more on enjoying it for its own sake.

30. What inspires you to write?

Little bits of episode dialogue I haven’t noticed before, other people’s fanfiction, stray conversations, fic prompts, song lyrics, random headcanons, fever dreams, dares ...

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I’ve been really lucky with comments on my fic. The least helpful comment I’ve ever received was on one of my early 30k fics and all it said was “Did you have to take the name of the lord in vain?” Which is kind of funny. The nicest thing anyone’s ever said? I’m very partial to the feedback that starts “I don’t even like this pairing/genre/trope/show but you made me love it”, and particularly “I’ll read anything you write, I don’t care what it’s about.” But all comments are gold. The little heart button is cool too.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I’m not someone who can tune out music I love, or leave it in the background to inspire me. If it’s on, I’m fully invested in it. I’m that annoying person in the car who flips radio stations every three seconds until I find something I like and then it’s on 11 and I’m singing along to it. I’m also really picky but extremely eclectic, although there are genres I can’t stand (anything with autotune makes me stabby). That said, sometimes I find a song that I can’t stop listening to for weeks and often that perfect combination of music and lyrics will inspire me to write a fic. For example, I just plotted out an entire J/C story because of this song.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

All of the above. Although I’m not sure if my longest epic is huuuuuge or just huuuge.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

101,467.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have two drabble collections. One is all J/C, full of responses to random prompts and I add to it sporadically. The other is episode additions set on Kathryn Janeway’s birthday (May 20) and added to annually.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Angst, definitely. Sometimes it’s smutty angst or fluffy angst or hurt/comfort angst, but often it’s just fucking unrelenting angst. And I’m okay with that.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

I did the stats on this once, too, haha. Pretty sure I came out fairly even on first and third person with a smattering of second person in there. I’m probably even-ish on present vs past tense, too. I make it a point to mix it up to avoid my writing getting stale or same-y. And sometimes a fic doesn’t really click for me until I try it in a different POV or tense or from a different character’s perspective.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I mostly write for canon characters - the fun is in all the different ways you can interpret and imagine them - but I’ve been known to throw in the odd OC, or focus on a character who only got a brief cameo appearance, or write about someone who only appears in beta canon, or who only rates a mention on screen.

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, wow. I’m not sure. I guess the thing I value most about my own writing is my willingness to try different styles, characters, pairings and so on. The thing I strive for most is characterisation that feels true, and I really love it when I get comments on that. Exploring a character in a way that rings true with a reader is the best thing ever.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Overly long sentences and adverb abuse, haha. No, truthfully, there comes a point in most of my fics, particularly the longer ones, when I really just want to scrap it because in my heart I know it’s dreadful. Usually that passes once I slog through the ‘I don’t wanna’ stage because I’m a bloody-minded bitch, but sometimes fics do get left in the dust half-written. Honestly, though, they’re the ones that probably should stay there.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

This is hilarious because I was just talking on discord about my problematic ‘to read’ pile. My unread AO3 subscription emails currently number 29 and my phone browser has 71 tabs open. So here are 5 random picks from that list of exactly 100 fics I should be reading:

Sex on the Beach (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by @traccigaryn

The Ruby Ring (T, Janeway/Chakotay, Janeway/Tighe) by @trinfinity2001

Earth is But an Idea (T, Janeway/Chakotay, Carter/O’Neill) by @caladeniablue

Home (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by Cassatt

Wise Up (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by KimJ

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Only five? Shit. Okay. In no particular order, these are five of the writers I keep coming back to:

quantumsilver (also here)

northernexposure

LittleObsessions

Helen8462

Cheshire

But there are so many others. My chosen fandom is chock full of amazing talent.

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

All of the authors above for various reasons, but also august because her writing is so spare and delicate and devastating, and runawaymetaphor because she writes the most delicious Janeway/Paris, and @seperis because I read In the Space of Seven Days literally 20 years ago and I still haven’t recovered, and I could be here all night raving on this topic but there are still many questions to get through.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

Janeway x Paris. I’m so happy there’s been a little bit of a resurgence in J/P fics lately. Thanks, @curator-on-ao3, you’re doing the lord’s work.

I’ll also take Janeway x Johnson content any day of the week.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

What the hell? I can’t pick just one! Ugh!

... but okay, here’s the first one that came to mind when I tried to think about this: if you came this way by tree. I’m not sure I’d call it my favourite, but it’s one I revisit often. Ugh, there are so many other fics I’m thinking of now that I really want to list.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Oh, that’s hard. I should probably pick an angsty smutty J/C because that’s a fair proportion of what I write and it’s good to let a new reader know what they can expect. But honestly, I think the best fic I’ve written is The Uncharted Sea. (It’s safe for work. Maybe not for makeup.)

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

The Archive, of course. Where else can I find ad-free hosting on a stunningly user-friendly interface with absolutely no moralising content restrictions and the world’s best tagging system? That Hugo award is well deserved.

Tumblr is good for headcanons and meta and gifsets and a few other formats that I’m less likely to post on AO3 because I’d feel like I was pissing off people who subscribe to me by giving them some random garbage.

I also have my own website, but I’m not really sure why. Sometimes I post fic there that doesn’t make it to tumblr or AO3.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

I try to. Honestly I do. I love it when I get reviews, so I figure paying it forward is the least I can do. I’m less scrupulous about leaving comments when I’m busy or reading on my phone.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I mean, I love it when people reblog, but I certainly don’t expect it. @arcadia1995 is amazing for reblogging stuff *blows kisses*

Nobody owes fanfic writers shit, but I feel like there’s a tacit agreement that if you like what you just read for free and you’re on a platform that makes it easy to do so, you leave a review or at least a kudos, because I’m not gonna lie, posting a fic you’ve worked super hard on and seeing it get very few kudos or comments is a bit deflating. I’m sure a lot of us have been there.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

During Voyager’s original run I was trawling the internet for Endgame spoilers (I don’t know why; I usually love surprises) and I guess I googled (or whatever the 2001 equivalent of googling was) something like “how does voyager get home” and somehow I stumbled across Revisionist History. At first I had no idea what I was reading - was this a lost story pitch that somehow got leaked? A professional novella commissioned by the showrunners?

Then I started following links and discovered yahoo groups and webrings and Trekiverse and fanfiction.net and all sorts of incredible things I’d never guessed at, including the now defunct ‘archipelago of angst’, a collection of Voyager writers who focused mainly on a darker Janeway than most of the other fic writers I was encountering, and I was hooked. So I wrote a few of my own pieces, and then I lost interest for 15 years. I’m still not sure how I got dragged back in.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Honestly, in what other way can I indulge my obsessions, hone my skills and talk about it endlessly with like-minded people? Where else can I instantly find a plethora of fiction about the exact topic I feel like reading about on my mobile device and for free? Fanfiction is fucking amazing and I’m so glad it exists in my life.

#miamemes #fanfiction #fanfic asks

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theimaginatrix27 · 4 years

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My bunnies did it again

I have had this fanfic idea stuck firmly in my brain for the last week and I think it’s time I made a Tumblr post about it. It’s a crazy fun idea and I only have one Voyager friend. I would like to have more than one Voyager friend.

But also I need to make a Tumblr post about this because I feel like it’d make a good one.

The idea hit me while I was listening to Spotify. It started with me thinking about this vague idea of Voyager, but fantasy with magic ‘n’ stuff, and then I was suddenly struck with ... well. Time to break out the list. My one Voyager friend helped me hash this out, so I’d like to give credit where it’s due. Thanks for the help thus far, @gwen-skyes!

So this is post-series. Everyone’s legal stuff has been cleared up because I am a happy optimist and think it would be sorted out fairly quickly given they survived for seven years in the Hellta Quadrant.

Harry got his promotion! So did Janeway, but that was expected.

Anyways, Tom is bored.

I think anyone who’s watched more than a handful of episodes of Voyager knows this does not bode well.

So one night he’s scouring archives of human knowledge for something to do, and discovers DND.

Let’s pretend there probably weren’t any current editions of the game and he picked the 5E rules just because.

He knows he can’t play this on his own and he’s been missing having his friends around constantly, so after he’s convinced B’Elanna the game has potential, he invites the others over.

He does not tell them he is inviting them over to play a 21st-Century tabletop role-playing game.

Until the day their schedules have dictated will suit for them all to assemble.

Then he’s like “Check out this cool game I found! We can tell a story together—won’t that be fun? Anyways, here’s the rules, please take this time to design your characters.”

Any somewhat formal language is totally over-dramatic, but he does ask that they take this seriously.

Everyone’s actually pretty interested, though they express it differently.

Janeway and Chakotay help each other with backstories and stuff. Janeway settles on a Human Fighter, while Chakotay’s a Half-Elf Ranger with a falcon companion (Hey, that is a fucking hot image and you can’t tell me otherwise).

B’Elanna put together her character earlier and she’s a Half-Orc Barbarian (she basically called dibs).

Seven spends so much time trying to optimise her stats and her backstory is basically her history with a few tweaks. I won’t get into the back and forth here but Tom does entreat her to get more creative if she can.

The Doctor and Harry both pick Paladin and then just diverge from there. The Doctor’s character is human, Harry’s is Dragonborn. Both are Lawful Good but Harry is particularly intent on being as awesome as possible.

Tuvok surprises everyone except possibly Janeway by announcing late into the character-building session that he has observed they do not have a dedicated magic-user in their party yet and this is “an oversight that cannot go unaddressed, or disaster is inevitable.” He then declares his character an Elven Wizard.

Tom asks if he picked an Elf for the ears. Tuvok gives him a look and points out it’s the most logical choice to pair with a magical Class. It actually was the ears but he only admits it to Janeway at the end of the fic.

While everyone is taking things seriously as Tom asked, Tom himself does the 24th-century equivalent of using a random-number-generator to slap together a character, mostly for fun. He is, after all, planning to be the DM.

I know what you’re thinking. “When’s this gonna get really interesting, Trix? It sounds rather boring so far.”

Hahahahahahahaha.

They’re just getting ready to start playing. Miral is asleep upstairs. All seems well.

And then Q shows up.

He is bored.

This also is never something that bodes well.

And he sees this game as an irresistible opportunity for some good chaotic fun.

So he creates an alternate reality bubble and sends everyone into it, to play the Campaign from the inside. As their characters.

That half-joking character Tom made on the fly? It’s a Halfling Bard And he’s had his DM position usurped by Q, so now he’s stuck in a Fantasy-laced reality and is half the size of any one of his friends. And has lovely fluffy hair!

Also Harry got genderbent ‘cause Q was being a troll both before and after it was cool.

And that’s the jist of it. There’s more stuff a little further in but this is the basic premise. And my brain won’t let it go, so ... Yay? I guess? I’m not much for writing Sci-fi but this leans right into Fantasy territory, which is my strong point. I hope I am able to do it justice. Provided I can get it off the ground, that is.

#STVOY #STVoyager #I know I can't use colons in tags if I want the post to be found in searches #So I hope these are the right ones #Fanfiction #Fanfic Idea #Yes I know I need to stop coming up with long stories #But my bunnies are incorrigible

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secretvixen83 · 6 years

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Quieter Souls

Chakotay felt reenergized after his session using the Akuna. Some questions were answered, while other questions were raised. He was right about his necklace, yes he was right about the glow from the stone. Ironically, he realized that the glowing hue was identical to Kathryn’s eyes. Smiling to himself, he silently wished her “good night”. Crawling into bed himself, he stared at the ceiling. It seemed lighter than it should be and he thought it was odd. He dismissed it though, and rolled to his side, and fell asleep.

He was dreaming. He knew he was, but the smell of fire still made him jumpy. He was in the cargo bay, and the computer wasn’t responding to his orders. Had Kathryn lost trust in him? Had she removed his status? He turned and looked around him. Fire everywhere. It wasn’t that he had been removed, but that he was trapped, and systems were malfunctioning to stop the fire. He tried to make it to the wall to manually override the computer. As he moved there was a flash, and a massive white fireball knocked him down. The air knocked out of him, he struggled once more to his feet. He wouldn’t die like this, dream or not. Silently, he called on his spirit guide to help him. He looked around again and noticed the flames had changed. They were completely white. Burning yes, but not moving towards him. They stayed static. Not wanting to tempt fate, he began to quickly move to the wall. In front of him a shape suddenly appeared. It was approximately 5ft in stature, maybe more. Pointed ears like an Ocampa, but lanky like an elf. It was almost like a statue but had been painted. He looked at it but was more anxious to handle the flames. Making his way to the wall finally, he pulled open the panel and began redirecting the circuit power. Just when he was ready to give up, the foam shot from the walls at floor level and extinguished the flames.

As the smoke cleared, the statue remained unharmed. He walked towards it and stopped about a foot away when he heard the voice. “This is not Borg space as she thinks.” It hissed. “Beware star seeker, you shall make friend and foe here.” The voice wasn’t scary, it just caught him off guard. As soon as the voice stopped a huge rush of wind seemed to envelope the room, and the statue shattered, then dissolved. Chakotay was picked up in the wind and thrown.

With a jump, Chakotay woke to find himself on the floor in his quarters. Sweating just as if he had gone back to the Holodeck to work out, his shorts clung to his legs, and the heat from his skin radiated out. Slowly getting up, he took a deep breath. The words replayed in his head “Not Borg space, friend and foe”. Chakotay tried to shake himself of the dream and looked at the clock. 0530. Great time to get ready for work. He ate breakfast quickly and replicated coffee. Not for himself, but for her. It wasn’t much, but he would give anything to see the light back in her eyes. The necklace glowed again. As blue as Kathryn’s eyes. Smiling, Chakotay grabbed the coffee cup from the replicator, and headed out the door.

Kathryn had just passed Chakotay’s door, and he saw her rounding the corner. He carefully trotted to catch up. The light demand on his muscles making them rebel after the workout yesterday. “Kathryn!” He called to her so she would turn. As she did, his heart sped up, and he could feel the stone against his chest cooling rapidly. He could see she hadn’t slept well the night before, and he realized that it bothered him. It never had before. Or was he so dense he had never noticed it? Either way, he was sorry he had never noticed it before now. As he stepped up to her, he took her right hand in his left, and carefully set the coffee cup in her hand. “I thought you might need this before duty.” He said smiling slightly. She looked down at the cup, and back at him. “Thank you.” It was almost a whisper. A weary whisper. He walked with her in silence as she drank, and he realized the stone was colder than usual under his uniform. So cold in fact, it made goosebumps on his skin.

As they made their way onto the bridge, Chakotay felt the shift in her. No personal feelings, only work. Tom caught his eye and gave a questioning look. Chakotay smiled and shook his head, as if to say “It’s nothing.” Kathryn had settled in her chair, still cradling the coffee cup he had given her, and if someone caused her to spill it, Kathryn decided she would probably just eject them into space. She wasn’t showing it, but it touched her deeply that he had used his rations on her. As Kathryn listened to the din surrounding her, she let her mind wander to the place where she kept everything she knew about Audrey’s disappearance. The police seemed to not be willing to help, her mother was crushed, and had blamed herself, Kathryn admitted she just quit feeling after the first 30 days.

Audrey’s father, Shane had been a promising officer at the Academy. Their romance had been a whirlwind. He had turned rogue though and took up a position as a no name Maquis. Kathryn understood the Maquis cause far more than Chakotay would realize. When she found out she was pregnant, she was terrified to tell anyone. Shane found out one night after they had gone dancing, and she fell extremely ill. While being checked out by medical, the truth came to light, and he had asked her; “Is it true Katy? Are you? I mean, are we?” When she had answered in the positive, she was sure he would be enraged. Instead, he swept her up off the bed in his arms and held her tightly. It was the safest she had felt the entire time she had been pregnant. Then came the night when she was seven months 3 weeks along, when the police came to her door with the announcement that Shane was gone. She thought she had lost her soul then but carried on anyway. When Audrey was born, she struggled to find a middle name, and Shane had been adamant that the baby should have a noble, and respectable last name. So, Audrey Shane Janeway was born.

Kathryn jumped as she felt Chakotay’s light touch on her arm. She looked up at him, and knew he saw her tears and pain. Quickly, she blinked them away, as she realized Tuvok had been calling to her concerning an approaching vessel. She went through the motions and could feel Chakotay just over her left shoulder as she stood to listen and speak back to their newly found species. Curious travelers were what they were. No hostility. No war. No fighting. Several times as Chakotay would speak she caught herself looking up and slightly back at him. On purpose, she took half a step back and gently bumped into him. Then as he spoke, she studied his profile. Just looking at this man calmed her. Calmed her, alarmed her, confused her. Running her teeth across her bottom lip, she forced herself to look away from him, and back to the screen. They said their goodbyes to this new species and went on their way. As soon as the screen went back to being just darkness and stars, Kathryn made a subtle break for the Readyroom.

Chakotay watched her go. He wasn’t sure if he should follow. The words from his dream repeated. “This is not Borg space as she thinks.” With that, he handed off command to Tuvok, and followed Kathryn. She was at her desk staring at her computer when he entered. “Captain” he said, and she looked up. Emotionless. That’s how she was looking at him, and it scared him. “I need to talk to you about where we are in the quadrant.” He said, trying to illicit a reaction from her. She blinked and motioned to a chair. “Borg space.” She said as he sat. “We have been through this before.” Her tone was flat, and still emotionless. “I don’t think it’s Borg space we will be entering.” As he said that, there was a flicker in her eyes. Barely. “I am not sure what we will find here, but I doubt it will be Borg.” As he said that, Kathryn’s brow furrowed as she processed what he was saying. “Commander,” She started, as she came around the desk and stood in front of him, leaning her hip on the edge. “What do you base your findings on?” She was curious. Still guarded, still numb, but curious.

He knew how his answer would sound but he had to say it. “A dream after my meditation last night.” He repeated the dream, every part of it. Kathryn listened actively. Again, a flicker, but this time it stayed. When he was done, Kathryn was silent for a minute as she walked to the window. Turning back to face him, she said, “Commander, at this point I say we prepare for Borg—but hope for whatever your dream may mean.” Just then Seven’s voice came over their Combadges. “Captain, Commander, The readings from the probe have returned. There are no Borg in the distances tested.” Seven said in her usual, factual tone. “Very well, Seven, thank you for letting us know. Please ready the probes again to be used in the next couple of days after their data has been loaded into our records.” Chakotay said as he watched Kathryn.

She looked like if she stood still long enough, she would sleep standing up. There was about five feet between them. Kathryn felt as if it could have been a hundred. Chakotay stayed where he was, not wanting to rush or frighten Kathryn. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to smell the intoxicating soap she used, to feel her weight against him. She looked back at him, and then back out the window. He shifted and began to stand. Before he was all the way up she was in front of him. He raised his eyebrows, letting her make the first move. Her gaze said it all. She was tired, hurt, confused, scared, and underneath it all, she trusted him. She reached out her arms to him, and he quickly pulled her to him, kissing her forehead as she let out a sigh. He coaxed her into taking a nap on the couch in her office. Promising her if anything major happened he would wake her. He stayed until she fell asleep. He started to leave, instead he walked to her, kissed her forehead, and sat back down in the chair he had been in, kicked his legs out, leaned back and took a nap along side his Captain. Along side Kathryn.

#wordsofjc #star trek voyager #delta quadrant #kathryn janeway #chakotay #j/c fanfic

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lieutenantayala · 6 years

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(Warnings for description of injury, referenced torture and death.)

[Captain Janeway wanders the ship, unable to sleep because the nightmares kept her awake again. She enters a room on deck 13 to stop and look at the stars, thinking she's alone.]

Ayala: Can't sleep?

[Janeway jumps and gasps.]

Janeway: Oh, Mr. Ayala, I'm sorry to disturb you.

Ayala: Sorry, Captain. I uh, didn't mean to startle you.

Janeway: No, that's alright I just didn't see you there.

Ayala: Suppose it didn't help that I was lurking in the shadows.

[They both half-smile at each other. Janeway steps up to the view port and turns to look at Mike.]

Janeway: Mr. Ayala, I never personally thanked you for the role you played during the rescue mission or for gathering supplies. You'll receive a commendation for bravery and valor, as will everyone that was involved.

[Janeway steps forward, hand extended. Ayala shakes it.]

Ayala: Thank you, captain. I only wish I could have done more.

[Kathryn smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. Mike sees the dark circles under them and takes in the haggard look on her face.]

Janeway: Well, I was just passing through. If you'll excuse me.

[Janeway makes for the door.]

Ayala: Captain, wait. Do you have a minute?

[She hesitates.]

Janeway: Yes, Mike. Is there something I can help you with?

Ayala: I wanted to thank you for writing that recommendation for my boy. You didn't have to do that. It meant a lot to him. Thank you.

Janeway: The pleasure was all mine. You seem happier since the data stream, Lieutenant. Is your family well?

Ayala: Yes, yes they're doing fine. The back and forth communication with Maria was exhilarating.

Janeway: I'm so glad to hear that, Mike. I know it's been hard on you.

[Kathryn stops, thinking she might have said too much or hit a soft spot. Mike shrugs.]

Ayala: It's alright. I'm a tough guy. How have you been?

Janeway: Oh, I'm fine.

[Kathryn shoots him a practiced smile and looks back out at the stars.]

Ayala: Permission to speak freely, Captain?

[Kathryn's jaw tightens and she straightens her back before facing him again.]

Janeway: Granted.

Ayala: I don't mean to sound rude captain, but no. You're not fine.

Janeway: Beg your pardon?

Ayala: You don't have to lie to me. Do you want to talk about it? I have some experience with... these things.

Janeway: There is nothing to talk about. I am fine, I assure you. I perform my duties just as I always have. There is nothing to worry about.

Ayala: I'm not worried about you as a captain. I'm worried about you as a person. I can't ignore... I can't ignore it.

[Kathryn raises her chin and folds her hands behind her back.]

Janeway: What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Ayala: Would you like me to list what I've seen chronologically or alphabetically?

Janeway: I would like your point, Mr. Ayala.

Ayala: Alright. Well for starters, your eyes look haunted. There's always pain and sorrow written across your face when you think no one is looking. I'm not going to pretend to know what you went through on that planet, but it's obvious that you're not dealing with it.

Janeway: These things take time.

Ayala: Absolutely, but that's under the assumption that you're trying to get past it. Not just acting like everything is okay. There are so many people on the ship that would be more than willing to help you.

Janeway: I am fine, Mr. Ayala.

[A long moment passes as they stare steadily into each others eyes.]

Janeway: What has Chakotay told you? Did he put you up to this?

Ayala: What? No. Of course not. He hasn't told me anything. I'm just sick of you pretending to be okay when you obviously aren't.

Janeway: You have no idea what you're talking about, Lieutenant.

Ayala: No, I think you have no idea what you're throwing away by acting like this. You're so concerned with your image or whatever that you can't see how lucky you are to have someone like Chakotay in your life.

Janeway: Lucky? Oh no, 'lucky' isn't the word I'd use. 'Lucky' doesn't describe what I've been through the past few weeks.

Ayala: What word would you use? Why won't you talk about it?

Janeway: I won't because I can't, Mike. I need to be strong for my people. I can't be weak.

Ayala: What you can't just... act like you're human for five minutes? You can't just admit that whatever you went through is tearing you up inside?

Janeway: I can't. I just can't. Whenever I start to think about it, it doesn't stop. I-- whenever I close my eyes I-- I see...

Ayala: It's okay, you can talk to me.

Janeway: It's not okay! Nothing is okay. Do you know how many times I told Freddy everything would be okay as he died in my arms? Can you even begin to understand the things I felt as I he vomited blood all over me and stopped breathing? Do you know what it's like to realize that there is no light that leaves people's eyes as they die? Can you fathom the emptiness I felt as they dragged me off his body?

[Janeway starts pacing back and forth, trembling and erratic.]

Ayala: No, but you could tell me.

Janeway: What makes you so special? Why do you want to know? Are you just going to go to all your Maquis friends and tell them how much of a failure the captain is?

Ayala: Of course n--

Janeway: I couldn't even protect Tal. I couldn't-- I watched her as they whipped her, listened to her scream. I can still hear her in my sleep. They whipped her and beat her for no other reason other than the fact that I couldn't stand anymore. I couldn't put myself between them every time. You don't know what it's like trying to keep someone alive using only your body as a safety buffer. You can't understand what it was like to choke back my own screams in the hopes that if we ever made it out of there alive, she wouldn't be too traumatized! Fat load of good that did anyway, she's in sickbay, dealing with panic attacks and flashbacks. My god, what have I done?

[Janeway slaps her hands down on the edge of the view port. Her knuckles clench and she bows her head. Mike can see her shaking.]

Ayala: I saw Tal earlier. She doesn't blame you. You know that right? She knows that you did everything you could to protect her. These problems she's having will fade over time because she's decided to deal with them, face them, examine them. She's talking to Kes now. Maybe you should consider--

Janeway: Oh no. I'm not going to talk to a damn shrink. I'll be declared unfit, put in a padded room where no one else can be poisoned by my presence.

Ayala: Captain, I think you need to stop and breathe for a moment. You're not seeing things clearly.

[Kathryn rakes her fingers through her hair and continues pacing.]

Janeway: Don't tell me to breathe! You sound like Tuvok. All those damned Vulcan meditation techniques... they're a load of crap. Starfleet training, distancing the mind, none of it did a damn thing. I felt everything as the flesh was torn from my body, as the bottoms of my feet burned away to the bone. My stay with the Cardassians felt like a walk in the park compared to this!

Ayala: Captain--

Janeway: What? This is what you wanted isn't it? You wanted to hear about how Captain Janeway cried and screamed and begged? You wanted to hear about my most intimate failure since I got us all stranded here in the first place?!

Ayala: Captain, please.

[Mike reaches out and touches her elbow, trying to get her to still for a moment. Kathryn rounds on him and lands a heavy backhanded blow across his face.]

Janeway: Don't touch me!

[She advances on him with a look in her eyes that tells him she's a million light-years away. Kathryn raises her hand again, but Mike easily reaches out and grabs her arms. He holds them to her sides as she struggles to get away.]

Janeway: No! Get off of me!

Ayala: Captain!

Janeway: Stop!

Ayala: Kathryn!

[Mike shakes her once and her struggling slowly dies down. Kathryn looks like she's in shock, tears slip from her eyes. In a controlled motion she pushes him away and sways on her feet. She leans against the wall for support before wiping her tears away.]

Janeway: I'm.. I'm so sorry. I-- need to see Chakotay.

[She sounds broken, tired, and doesn't make any move to leave. Mike doesn't want to leave her alone right now.]

Ayala: Alright, let's go.

[Kathryn nods, finishes fixing her hair, and makes sure her face is dry. Mike walks in front of her all the way up to deck three, Chakotay's quarters.]

@voyagerscaptain

#voyager rp #tw: torture #tw: death #space drama

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