How many times have you deleted tumblr thinking you were recovering ? bc I have done for like 4 month now bc i was wanting to be normal but i decide to come back bc i miss the feelings and I'm not actually out of my ED. i just moved away from my country and i live in Nederlands now. i miss having control of my body damn
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Trying to slim down enough to fit into pants you bought when you were like 10lbs skinnier is ROUGH. Like you were there. You were your own goals.
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No one:
Not a single soul:
My body dismorphia: you look like dis
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I dunno what burns more 4 shots of vodka going down or going up after you remember how many calories are in them
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TW, mention of ED behaviors
Okay no one talks about this but you know after you b/p? and you’re like ugh this is shit I feel like shit. BUT 15 minutes or so later, you’re HIT with this feeling, it like downs on you and you suddenly feel like something is terribly wrong. your heart starts racing, you’re shakey, extremely weak, scared, confused, everything seems a bit hazy, etc and it just keeps getting worse that you get so terrified thinking you’ll die..
Even tho I can explain it with science it still scares the fuck out of me every single time dude. why does no one ever mention it?! It’s the fucking worst.
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My friend is staying at my home and she really triggers me . I know its not her intention but shes all skinny and she eats so little but like a healthy little and im over here being a fat pig and trying to starve
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My caloric intake from food says chronic anorexia
My caloric intake from booze says raging alcoholic
✨maybe it’s balance maybe it’s mental illness✨
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I thought I was out of it, but here I am again.
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ED's be like:
Omg omg this mint has 30 calories iagsjwlwk THE DEVIL I MUST NOT LET IT TOUCH MY LIPS.
oh.. 2 family size bag of chips and a tub of ice cream? Fuck those calories, I'm hongry
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