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jkflesh · 3 years

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Interview with jesu January 2021 New Noise magazine #56

Read the interview by Antoine "Neredude" Duprez below:

The “Terminus” Bandcamp page states that the album was done between 2016 and 2020. That's a long period in your standards! Did you get some sort of writer's block with Jesu? Or was it because you were so busy with your numerous projects?

— I never get writers block, I just simply move on to the next thing if I’m not currently inspired to work on a specific project. Most my records, for many years, have been written and recorded over extended periods of time; I work when inspiration strikes, when it doesn’t I move onto the next thing; there’s never a block for me with creation generally, maybe just specific areas. i take large breaks for my music so as to afford some sort of distance, gone are the times when an album would be hammered out in a month!

''When I Was Small'' has kind of a Radiohead thing in the vocals, whereas ''Alone'' reminds me a lot of Sigur Rós. Are those bands part of your background?

— Ok, interesting observation, but no Radiohead is not an influence on this song, the biggest influences on the vocals were Liam Gallagher from Oasis, and subconsciously "White Flag" by Godflesh (which I only discovered after the album was complete). I do love some Radiohead though, as I do Sigur Rós, but neither band is a direct or conscious influence. Musically “When I was Small” was mostly influenced by trying to recreate a vibe of early Neil Young mixed with Oasis, in a jesu fashion, coupled with a demo production; intentionally underproduced. I’m not sure where a lot of the influence on “Alone” came from, electronic pop music for sure, short and sweet was the intention, driven entirely by the voice sample.

Regarding “Terminus,” did you set yourself a framework or musical approach beforehand like you did for “Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came?“

— Not really no, generally when I work on a bunch of songs things will fall into place naturally, the songs become a whole and then collectively the songs will become conceptual as i write, they build their own logic, so to speak, I don’t force anything, I let things happen organically as I write and record.

I think around 2013, you said “Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came” was going to set a precedent for the next album. Now that it's out, do you still think so? Personally, even though both records are different, I can definitely hear a connection.

— Yeah, shame it took 7 years to come to fruition! And many things changed over those 7 years, as ever. Jesu certainly documents my personal journey in life, it’s ultra personal, Godflesh is much more external comparatively. A lot to the solo jesu work took a backseat when I worked on the collaborations with Sun Kil Moon, but that was very refreshing and inspired me to take jesu further, I had notions of discontinuing the project at some point, but the collabs with Sun Kil Moon inspired me to keep pursuing jesu.

"Every Day I Get Closer to the Light From Which I Came” was inspired in great part by you becoming a father. Can you tell us a bit about what was on your mind when you wrote “Terminus?”

— That’s very true, especially the initial journey of bringing life into the/our world. everything is there in the lyrics and artwork for "Terminus" so of course, like a lot of my work, depends on the listeners perspectives, they can make it their own, make it personal. But it’s essentially about endings, and my obsession with finality, my sensitivity to it and my fear of it. There’s a line in the title song that says “my end, our end, the end, the end”, which pretty much sums it up.

The EP “Never” you released before “Terminus” is quite different and more focused on electronics. I remember you telling me that you liked going experimental on EPs, doing stuff you wouldn't do on a full length. So I figure that's still the case?

— Yeah, I like experimenting with everything, I like satisfying myself with different ideas, obviously that doesn’t suit my listeners too much, but I make this music for myself, and I’m always trying to do better. I still don’t know why I put myself through the trial and hell of releasing music, I often think about just recording for myself and not bothering with an audience, but I’m not really capable of earning money in other ways, so I have to finish music and release it, let it go. For me "Never" was just another way of interpreting the jesu mood, nothing deviates too much from the original intention of the project. It’s weird, critically, it was perceived as this big electronic departure, whereas jesu has sounded pretty much like this most of it’s lifetime! “Pale Sketches", "Lifeline" even "Silver” is all mostly electronic, save a real drum loop in the song "Silver", but this EP seemed to get this thing that its all electronic, whereas it;’s no more electronically oriented than any other jesu record I have made. jesu is a mood that can be explored and experimented with, I’m not making the first album over and over, some can’t get over that, but that was a different moment in my life which I captured, and as an artist who challenges oneself besides the audience you can never win, and one will generally never win hah. This is a new jesu, it comes with age, transitions. "Never" was intentionally idiosyncratic and deliberately fvcked up sounding, and I think by and large critically the subtleties were lost on people.

“Never” features two version of ''Never There for You'', one of them described as the ''original vision''. Can you explained how you ended up releasing two version of this song?

— The “original vision” existed like that since around 2010, I shelved it, it was to be a Pale Sketcher song, I had an album’s worth of similar songs, I still do, couldn’t decide if they should be jesu or Pale Sketcher. I sent them to Aphex Twin / Richard James because he was a huge fan of the Pale Sketcher EP “Seventh Heaven”, we were talking about a release on his label Rephlex, I had all these songs that were floating between jesu and Pale Sketcher. But then he folded Rephlex for good, a real shame, so I was left with all these songs in limbo, I still am, but at that period I shelved them all. I returned to them around 2018 and started adding guitars and vocals, thinking that they will now definitely be jesu songs. “Never There for You” was one of them, so I wanted the listener to hear what it was originally before I added more of organic me. I’m working on finalising all those songs for Rephlex into future jesu, probably an album that I hope to release late 2021, it’s not a "Terminus" though, and probably most ppl will hate it hah.

“Terminus” is the first album to feature Ted Parsons in a long while. Did you invite him because you felt these songs needed his touch?

— I wanted some live drums, 3 songs only. I was going to play them myself, like on "Opiate Sun". "Infinity" etc, but I really wanted Ted involved and see how he interpreted my drum parts, he always swings something and makes it interesting. he’s a very real drummer, and a very real human being.

When touring is possible again, would you like to tour with Jesu, with Ted on drums?

— I may tour solo, with electronics and projections. The band thing is tiresome and always just sounds like a band, bands bore me these days because of the constraints of the instruments, rock records also bore me these days; same productions, etc, very little actual aesthetic, but its popular and what do I know. But I’d rather jesu now sound hugely expansive live, not just like a rock band. But i’m still unsure. Live drums swallow my voice live, I can’t sing above them, and jesu is a tiny project, can’t play big venues with stage separation and screens around the drums, and 8 guys diving around onstage, it’s not affordable. I stopped performing as jesu for some time due to all those reasons.

You said “Silver” is probably your favourite Jesu record. Are there other Jesu albums that stand out in your mind?

— Did I say that?! Haha. I don’t recall, and that opinion changes every day I feel. I like how concise and all encompassing "Silver" is; it covers most of the ground that I feel the project should cover. But "Terminus" is my favourite jesu album, and it should be, otherwise I would not feel I was moving forward, and I feel I am, it is the best jesu album I have made.

Last year, you told Olivier ''Zoltar'' Badin that the next Zonal album would probably go in the direction of it's title track ''Wrecked''. Is it still true to this day and what can you tell us about that upcoming album?

— Well, a lot of time has passed since, but I think Kevin and I are still quite struck on that song as a template for future recordings, although everything changes all the time, of course, and time is passing fast once again, we haven’t discussed Zonal in some time.

I know you don't actually consider yourself as a guitarist. With you focusing on your electronic projects like JK Flesh and Zonal lately, do you ever get tired of guitar? I'm asking this because I recently discussed the subject with Steven Wilson. He basically told me that after 30 years writing and doing gigs with guitar, he's feeling more creative and excited when writing music on other instruments and I wondered if you ever felt something similar.

— All instruments are just a means to an end for me; a tool for the bigger job, I don’t really wish to be overly proficient at any instrument, I liked that about punk, and it’s what I’m not that fond of about overly progressive music, it’s like it’s for show, I don’t do anything for show, I’d rather be shit than great, it’s more interesting, it reflects the human condition, imperfection. I don’t wish for things to sound perfect, whatever that is, people should not come to my music for that, they probably don’t and it’s probably why my audience is so small haha.

I recently discovered that you worked with Josh Eustis with the mastering of the JK Flesh / Orphx live album and was a bit surprised. How did that happen?

— Josh is a very good friend of Dominick Fernow’s (Prurient / Vatican Shadow / Hospital Productions, etc), and Dominick is a very close friend of mine. I was aware that Josh does very good mastering besides being an extremely talented artist, so Dominick suggested josh master that collaboration, and it sounds excellent!

I interviewed Lee Dorrian some time ago and we were talking about the impact Napalm Death had, not just the band itself but all the bands who were formed after playing in that band: Godflesh, Carcass, Cathedral, Scorn... Lee thought this legacy had a lot to do with John Peel broadcasting a wide array of music on young aspiring musicians. How would you explain such creativity and versatility from musicians who all played in Napalm Death at one point?

— Lee is absolutely correct, a lot of very young kids listened to John Peel, most generations did, his taste exposed music to many of us who were already enquiring at a young age that we would not have heard anywhere else and of course back then this centralised things, not fragmented them like the internet does; a kid now can absorb an artist entire catalog in an hour, speed listen to it all, then have an opinion, but it’s informed, no context, no history, no experience. We heard music then on Peel and then hunted it down. It took work, valuable work that paid dividends. Peel’s broad appreciation of eternally subversive music and otherwise told us that music didnt need to exist in such strict compartments, that’s it’s all part of a greater whole, so when groups of musicians collaborated even at such young ages, our tastes were informed and wide, very rarely singular.

Can you tell us a bit about you latest remixing output? What were the tracks that you enjoyed the most remixing? Those are the names I could find: Full of Hell, Oathbreaker and a lot of projects I've never heard of.

— I always and love to remix, I love the fact that I didn’t create this music but can make something new from someone else’s work. Music is endless, for me, it’s just when you wish to end it, but ultimately it can never end. I have some remixes that I love moire than others, but only over time, I never let a remix go unless I am as happy as can be with it. Sometimes I would’ve loved to have done more, my Killing Joke remix is a good example of that, I wanted to go further, but Youth of Killing Joke told me they were happy with where I was at, I think I could’ve made it much better. The Oathbreaker remix you mentioned is a favourite of mine from the last years worth of my remixes. I’ll remix anyone, if they can afford my fee and I have the time!

I'm curious, since you released some of your music with your own label with Godflesh, Jesu and other projects, did it have an impact on the revenue you got from streaming platforms like Spotify, compared to albums released on Earache or Hydra Head? I'm asking this in the light of the neverending controversy regarding streaming revenue for musicians.

— On my own label more money can be earned from these services due to no split with another label, which usually would be 50/50, but streaming is very small as is common knowledge. I never see any royalties from Earache so can’t compare their rates etc since Godflesh is constantly recouping an advance from Columbia / Sony for the "Selfless" album that Earache, contractually, can recoup from, even though they didn’t give the advance, so they’re making money from the band and from an advance they never paid, which these days you would think that besides being unethical that it would be criminal, but such were the contracts in the 80’s / 90’s. So I’ve never seen a single penny from streaming with Earache!

I know it might be pointless to ask you, since someone's mind can change with time but do you still think “Post Self” may be your last album with Godflesh? Your told us last year that you weren't sure if you had enough in you creatively to do another album and also that the constant screaming was a bit harder to do.

— Hah, the shouting/screaming live now takes its toll, it does with age, I’m unsure due to not performing for so long thanks to the pandemic how my voice would be for Godflesh now in a live setting, I’d have very little problem in the studio. I’m still struck on the fact that there may not be another full length studio album from Godflesh, I haven’t been inspired to initiate one for numerous reasons, and I don’t wish for us to repeat ourselves in any way, I do have a lot of interesting old material though, some good rare stuff, demos, “Us and Them in Dub” which is also in the works, but I work on that sporadically, when I feel inspired to do so. So there’s a lot of good stuff coming.

Last time I interviewed you in 2014, Aphex Twin was making his grand return with “Syro”. I remember you telling me that the album was still shrinkwrapped on your desk. Knowing you're a big Aphex fan, I wanted to know if you liked that album, especially knowing that a lot of fans were disappointed by it.

— Ahh it was such a long time ago now that we spoke last! I love "Syro”, but I love Aphex, and since I first heard "Didgeridoo" when it was released and then "Quoth", he will always be a favourite, "Syro" may not be an Aphex favourite for me, but it’s still amazing, he is amazing; creative, subversive and doesn’t give a fvck ultimately, he’d also never release anything if he didnt really have to, he does this for himself, for me the best art is entirely selfish and should consider no one. People are always disappointed, a lot of people just can’t live with the fact that an artist strays from their own personal conception of what an artist should be, it’s some sort of misguided entitlement, I lost that when II was around 14, a lot of people don’t lose it and now these people have the internet. No artist owes me anything, if they gave me one thing in my life then i will always respect their art, regardless of whether it works for me or not, and if I don’t like it much, I won’t be peddling that opinion on the internet in an entitled egotistical manner, I’m glad I did not know that a lot of people were disappointed, haha.

Thank you very much! Best JKB, Jan 2021

#jesu #justin broadrick #interview

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borisbubbles · 4 years

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26. SWITZERLAND

Gjon’s Tears - “Répondez-moi”

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*GASP* I DON’T LOVE GJON’S TEARS!!!! JK He’s perfectly fine, imo. You guys know that I like to divide my songs according to the trafflc light scheme (green = good, yellow = meh, red = bad). “Répondez-moi” is like a very, *very* pale shade of chartreuse - I almost like it. But I do have a few caveats that prevent me committing myself to it.

Song Analysis

On the surface, this is a lowkey brilliant entry. “Répondez-moi” is very cleverly put together, using Gjon’s wide register to create a gender-ambiguous, emotionally ridden tone, further reinforced by a simple, yet effective flurry of guitar strings and edm percussive noises.

Ho boy, two paragraphs in and I’m already otno the technical stuff - probably the biggest indicator of how unimpressed I am by this song. Good Music, snooooore where’s the funtrash at (safely tucked inside the upper half of the ranking, d’uh) I can appreciate “Répondez-moi”’s technical brilliance and I can appreciate it more here than I did with “Fai Rumore” or “Divilji Vjetre”, because unlike those two, Répondez-moi actually *is* contemporary and original. It accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do.

However, if I’m honest, the only thing I outright like is how you could argue GHOSTING as a narrative theme for this song - “I AM READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL! ANSWER ME!!! :read at 22:23:” is a pretty fun pretend-meaning to be slapping onto this song. Sadly, I know French and I know that a lie, tragique, je sais. The real meaning, as far as I can gather is about ~the inability to come with the capriciousness of life and death~ or some pseudo-philosophical meandering spliced into the song to make it look intelligent WELL SORRY TO SAY YOUR SONG IS NOW ABOUT GRINDR GHOSTING, GJON, I HAVE *DECIDED*!!!!

“Répondez-moi” is absolutely one of those songs which are caught up by their own competency. You see, entries such as these come just barging in all “THIS IS HIGH QUALITY AND YOU WILL LIKE IT” and well, unlike the “I AM SOPHISTICATED, I USE *~*PITCHFORK*~*” crowd, I really just don’t care so long as the humanizing component I desperately need to cling to remains absent.

“Répondez-moi” feels like it is a good song, but at the same time listening to it also feels like sitting through a fucking TED-Talk. It’s the “How To Click with Everyone Every Time” amongst this batch of songs and while I do feel like it accomplishes precisely what it sets out to be without ever being tedious or uninteresting, I don’t feel any sort of personal connection. Maybe if Gjon had some live charisma to show for (which is largely absent from the VC - maybe that’s just a Me Thing but Gjon’s muffin hair completely neuters his sex appeal for me), but alas.

Oh and, there’s another reason why I don’t rly care that much about Gjon: This year had *so many* “Répondez-moi”s (many of which didn’t even win their NFs? Carrying that torch for Moniqué, Barbora Mochowa and Dotter), and I like the gross of them more. Downside of being an internal selectee is that the journey only starts once rehearsals do.

Switzerland 2020 vs Switzerland 2021

Gjon fans claim that Gjon could’ve won ESC 2020 and well... not rly? First of all, Victoria and Roxen both exist and draw from the same votepool, so he would require better staging. Secondly, yes he got SJB, but everyone was already eating out of Victoria’s hand from the moment she was announced and besides, SJB was already busy working her magic towards making Tornike the break-out star of the year. Thirdly, BABY, I CAAAAAAAN’T WAIT TO KNOW WHADOYUTINKABOUTINGS ::twerks in teal tracksuit::

I do love the (only existing in the minds of clinically insane Eurovision nerds) pattern of “Switzerland wins every 32 contests with a French-speaking ballad” though. I guess we’ll never know :-)

oh yeah and ofc he’s back in 2021, post-Zibbz switzerland aren’t dumb.

Congratulations top 25:

Freaky! Friday! Factor!

OMG I remember when the first rumours of Gjon’s Tears came around, and a preview spoiled the Swiss song *wasn’t* in English or German (but in a language a German-Swiss man wasn’t able to recognize), there was some RAMPANT wild spec that Gjon, who is Kosovar-Swiss, might be singing in ALBANIAN AND FRENCH. 😍

Imagine how SICK that would’ve been had this actually come to fruition. Gjon wouldn’t just have murdered Arilena. He would’ve molecularly disassembled her inside a gravitron collider and then would have force-fed the substrate to Mikaela Mingle herself. That shit WOULD have been hilarious, except, it never happened, kinda like how Eurovision 2020, and me having a career never really happened.

I can (and will) hand out a few Senheads for Gjon though. Not only is “Répondez-moi” the first *truly* competent (as in: release me outside of esc and I survive in the hit parades) Swiss entrant since... idk...”Canzone per te”? “Io Senza Te”? “Ne T’en Vas Pas”??? A long, long time, probably before you and I were born. It’s also in FRENCH, not English and probably would’ve cemented Switzerland’s renaissance into a decent Eurovision country. The entry itself isn’t too exciting to me, but its potential place inside the canon definitely could have been.

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5:

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2020 #Eurovision Song Contest #Switzerland #Gjon's Tears #gjon muharremaj #repondez-moi

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shark-myths · 4 years

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You made a post a while back recommending being a lady with another lady tattooed somewhere on your body, but I think tattoos are cool in general so if you want to give a run-down of all your tats I would gladly listen :)

*cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO! in no particular order whatsoever...

medusa: the initial tattoo in question! i have a badass naked medusa holding the severed head of perseus on my leg, people glare at me in grocery stores, it’s GREAT, one of my bestest friends & ink daddy @alienfuckeronmain put her on me and it was every bit as magical as it sounds.

girl out boy: in the same weekend the same lovely aforementioned, phoenix tattooed a strawberry vulva with a cool knife and the words GIRL OUT BOY on my shoulder.

tasj portrait: i have the most perfect portrait of my beloved cat, who i had for nearly 17 years and who died this january. it captures her exact essence, and the exact color of her always-glaring eyes. it’s on my forearm and i talk to it a lot. i have also been known to kiss it?

poppies & oak leaves: one of my most beautiful tattoos, this one was about giving up control. I didn’t see it or know almost anything about it until i sat down with my trusted tattoo artist and he put the stencil on me. it’s beautiful and on my collarbone, and i didn’t realize until the end of the tattoo that he’d been leaning on my boob the whole time and never once made me feel creeped out or gross--it was just a body part and he didn’t make it seem any other way--which i am so so grateful for, especially as a bunch of assaults by tattoo artists in my city are coming to light this week.

harry potter page stars: jk rowling made these taste bad. they’re on the front of my right shoulder.

stay fresh: a very beautiful silly tat in the handwriting of my most important ex, which says ‘stay fresh’ and for which i offer no explanation. it’s on my ankle

pirate ship: on my thigh, my post painful tattoo to date, a beautiful color portrait of an album cover from a band that was once my favorite, featuring a pirate ship, and a banner that reads “I AM BECOMING” because i think that’s what we’re all doing, and i hope to never stop

crystal ball: on my wrist, the crystal ball emoji in honor of the MANIA build-up. it says FOB in the base and ‘too much, not enough’ around it

these dumb nordic runes on my wrists i’ve had since i was 18

a phoenix on my shoulder blade, taken from one of king arthur’s shields and also because i really love x-men. i got it on my 18th birthday

astronaut: a really gorgeous piece from Angie Mueth of St Louis, the same extremely talented lady who did my cat portrait, is an astronaut on my upper arm floating through space. it’s inspired by the ezra furman song ordinary life, and there’s a banner that reads “you’re allowed to do anything you’ve gotta do.”

moth: i always forget this one! because i can’t see it and it’s unfinished, i’ve had it for a decade and it will probably always be unfinished. it started because of my obsession with a don marquis poem about a moth and a flame. it’s on my ribcage and kind of looks like an ice cream cone, and some jerky guy tattooed it on me while very clearly high. he took F O R E V E R

upside down compass: i have this gorgeous intricate lord of the rings compass on the back of my neck that GOT DONE UPSIDE DOWN BY MISTAKE and it’s tragic, i don’t even like to think about it??? ugh

narsil: my other LOTR tattoo is the broken shaft on narsil on my forearm. it’s cool as hell, and very delicately done.

i think that’s all of them? yes. i believe it is. tattoos are great and this post is so silly without pictures, but thank you for asking so that i could talk about all my beautiful artwork! to anyone considering tattoos, i cannot recommend enough getting tattooed by a lady who makes you feel safe. there are so many talented artists out there, there’s no need to go to a shop that makes you feel like shit for being there. use your money to fund someone whose art you will feel honored to wear for the rest of your life, and then get something sweet and YOU and dumb tattooed, like an emoji or donkey kong wearing chuck taylors made out of bananas.

thank you for coming to my ted talk <3

#asks #tattoos #tattoo #about me #can you believe i don't yet have a snake or shark tattoo #what have i been doing with my life??#not living #clearly

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aciiers · 4 years

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hello children it’s your favourite monstrosity cel here with your other problematic fave Snuffles Jr.

( cis male | he/him | chris veres ) —— isn’t that SIRIUS BLACK ? yeah that is them, sitting there at the GRYFFINDOR table with those other SIXTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees ( tw; wounds ) oil patches under city rubble, glowing canine eyes, the stripe of dawn crowning winter trees, bloodstained footprints, calloused hands, irregular bruise patterns. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty UNDAUNTED, IMPETUOUS, and JOCULAR. apparently they’re a FOR THE LIGHT and PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. —— [ cel : akdt : 22 : she/her ]

𝑰. 𝐻𝐼𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝑌 » combustibles mix poorly with heat , and the air he breathes feels thick with soot . it’s hard to know what ‘ fresh ’ means until you feel it yourself , and it’s harder still to accept that you can’t clean what’s already been stained .

tw ; trauma , abuse

we’ve all Been Knew he has family trauma

i’ll likely be playing with the idea that his family’s just deadass abusive, both mentally & physically, because i virtually cannot imagine how a woman filled with as much Pure Rage as walburga black would not be?? rip

that being said, i’ll also place his disownment as the summer after this one just because i feel like that ?? aligns best with the plot. like he announces his allegiance vocally and whatever else tomfoolery I make him do and that’s just, The Last Straw

obviously he finds a lot of security in james & the marauders and is honestly only as good of a student as he is because he catches up / gets ahead during the summers

also 100% fucks around muggle london all the time when he’s back home, usually never telling his family he’s leaving and causing Mayhem when he gets back

i’ll say it again for the people at the back: he is !! one smart bastard !! just irresponsible af. the breathing figure of That Guy(tm) who never studies or shows up to class and still rolls out in honours

𝑰𝑰. 𝐴𝑁 𝐼𝑁𝑆𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇 » making models out of air sounds easier than it is . conjuration he can do , but at least he knows what to look for in that . he’s a shameless follower , but he presents as an addition — the last piece of the team . he’s a paradox of individualistic & dependent , and the line never seems to focus .

obviously the shit he’s been through, and being / feeling like he’s unable to just roll with it fucks with him. the guy literally came in with no idea how healthy dynamics work he just knows his family’s Isn’t It, Sis.

at this point he has trouble seeing the world as anything but us vs. them because his world is only that. he either likes you or he doesn’t and he doesn’t really see why this wouldn’t be mirrored or how his actions can impact that.

he’s also at that point where he just Assumes he’s always right and that makes him jump to conclusions and just. stay there.

basically he’s the type to take things way too far way too quick. just like the snape thing; like was that in any way cool?? No, but a bitch physically Does Not Understand That

that being said though, he is, in general, just hella fun-loving and only occasionally Too Much so. he finally has the chance to actually be free of his home’s clutches and he always uses that to his fullest , even if upon first glance he may come off v aloof. he’s always being chaotic & impulsive and pulling random people into one plan or the next so it’s Very Likely your character has either faced or Will Face this six feet of mayhem at some point

he also just prioritises his friends above anything else & that usually means having absolutely 0 means of balance or real desire for an external relationship, despite coming off rather loving and indulgent when he is present. so he can be excessively flirty and sometimes even charming but it always goes,,, nowhere rifp

𝑰𝑰𝑰. 𝑆𝑈𝑀𝑀𝐴𝑅𝑌 »

sirius black? absolutely Stunning but listen he wasn’t raised right

this translates to terrible coping mechanisms and a sub-par understanding of empathy, but he’s learning

will constantly swap between being an arrogant bastard and needing all the attention / validation in the world, but constantly tries to make the former Happen

florida man is the reincarnate of sirius’ shoulder devil i don’t make the truth i only speak it

𝑰𝑽. 𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆 »

jk i didn’t think this far ahead just @ me i’ll come up with something vaguely cohesive and Thrilling

tho in terms of things i definitely want to explore with him...... probably mostly like, his family dynamics and how he’s really coping with them (surprise, terribly!) and just the overall growth of his character into someone who learns to handle his emotions and how to actually be the Good Guy(tm) that he wants to be.

like idc what jk rowling said OotP did sirius Dirty and knowing they were in danger of actually orphaning their baby jily at that point would’ve never made sirius harry’s god father if sirius hadn’t matured by then thanks for coming to my ted talk where we Burn canon

also i Say this but 99% of my threads Will Be fluffy nonsense Bet

oh and pureblood shenanigans he still has to deal with until he cuts ties :^)

#petrificus.intro #i made the Terrible Mistake of saving this without backup and tumblr ate all my original bullets bc i indented some and not others i HHHHH #anyways #wounds tw #trauma tw #abuse tw #i mean only Implied but we stan a dramatic queen #i probably forgot to finish a sentence somewhere but you know what we're going to Ignore that

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hollands-poppet · 5 years

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Dancing with Our Hands Tied // Part 8 ( Last Part..) // Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom Holland is your best friend and your roommate, but you both have undisclosed feelings for each other.

Word count: 3K💛

A/N: HELLLOO BABIES!! AMY IS BACK FROM THE DEAD. HAHA jk, well kind of. I really wanted to finish this story because I just kind of want to move on from this phase of my life, as far as my fan fictions go. I still want to write, I just want to move on from this story. I love you guys, hope it was worth the wait!!! 💛 💛 💛

Warnings: cussing, I didn’t proofread at all lmao.. I’m just gonna copy and past all my warnings now hahaha y’all get so butthurt on here (like fake fucking homecomings like wtf), its just a fucking story. anyway, this shit ain’t real..if you don’t want to read what people want to put out then maybe fan fictions aren’t for ya.. y’all are super sensitive on here lmao k thanks for coming to my ted talk bye and I kind of proofread but not really

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

“You what?!” Zendaya yells at Tom who is zipping up his spidey suit.

“I broke up with her.” And he says it with such anger in himself, he would admit that he had a short temper but he knew he fucked up. He didn’t mean to break up with her but the heat of the moment brought up all these emotions and he wanted to hurt her in that short second. It had been a day since he had about seen y/n but it felt like a lifetime.

In that short second, he wanted to hurt her because she had hurt him. But had he waited another second, none of this would have happened if he had just listened to what she had to say..but he didn’t. He brought breaking up first, and he knew it was fault.

“Tom, you realize that you screwed this up right? I really don’t know what else to tell you.” Zendaya says as she waits for her co-star to get ready to shoot.

He wouldn’t admit it but the truth burned, “I know! I know! But- I just..I didn’t think about what I was saying..I just wanted her to come back with me, y’know?” He finishes zipping up the side of the suit and faces Z in the face and away from the mirror in his trailer, “I fucked up..and that’s that.”

Zendaya gives a sarcastic smile as she begins to slow clap, “Royally, my friend.”

Tom rolls his eyes and flips off his friend whose only laying out the plain truth, and only a few seconds later Harrison walks in with a cup of coffee.

“Is that my coffee?” Tom asks as he walks towards his friend/assistant but finds that the cup of joe moves over his hand.

“No mate, sorry.” Haz takes a sip, “Honestly, you don’t want to kiss Zendaya with coffee breath though.:

Z and Tom’s heads both snap at the exact moment in shock and at same time speak, “that’s today?!”

Haz gulps down another sip of his coffee, “Yeah, talk about bad timing. Break up with your girlfriend and kiss another girl right in front of her. What a time to be an actor!” The blonde says exaggeratingly to annoy his best friend.

Tom sighs as she walks towards the exit of his trailer, “Is y/n on set yet?”

Haz shrugs as he looks at himself in the vanity, “Not sure, maybe.” Z lightly smacks the back of his head, “You’re literally no help.”

Everyone on set was ready, it had taken about two hours to prep and all the crew was waiting for was the talent. y/n was along one of the crew to wait around to touch up Z, she wore barely to any makeup for the role of MJ. Her job for this specific film was to make sure her hair looked consistent and to pat away any shiny-ness on Z’s face.

She waited for Tom and Zendaya along with everyone and she didn’t know how she really felt about that, she wasn’t sure what they were filming today to be honest. She did notice some harnesses, so she figured that her ex was probably going to be filming some stunts. Even though they were no longer an item, to even refer to Tom as in ex in her mind really hurt.

She didn’t understand why he would do that to her, and for such a stupid reason too, well in her opinion at least. She knew Tom was going to feel some type of way about her not moving to Kingston, but she didn’t think the worst. She didn’t know it was going to be his deal breaker.

y/n clears her throat as away to get back in focus because the talent is finally arriving on set, and from the distance there she spots him. She sees Tom and Z walk on set, and his mask is already on. The only visible part of his face were his eyes, he couldn’t put on the spidey eyes until they were ready to film for safety reasons.

Z breaks off from Tom and makes her towards y/n to get touched up before they start filming. Tom makes his way towards the stunt coordinator and towards the harnesses to discuss what’s about to go down.

y/n hears her name and immediately focuses back on her task, this was not the time and place to be thinking about this. She pulls a powder puff and brush so that she can begin touching up Zendaya.

“How you feeling?” Z asks as she looks into her friends eyes, y/n sighs as she pats down her forehead and completely avoids eye contact.

She almost whispers her response because she doesn’t want to even think about it, “Just leave it alone, please.”

Y/N puts away her brush and powder in her belt and re-adjusts Z’s hair just to make sure it’s been consistent since the last time they shot. “Don’t worry about me today.”

And for the most part, Y/N was zoned out until she was called to fix Zendaya’s hair or touch up her shine. A lot ran through her mind as she stand behind the tents and cameras, and a lot was about her and Tom and if all these fighting was worth it anymore.

When y/n wasn’t zoned out, she would catch glimpses of Zendaya and Tom laughing and talking. It almost stung because he was so nonchalant about everything but he also had a job to do, and so did y/n.

y/n and tom started off as roommates and nothing more but this nothing turned into something. She knew what she was getting herself into and now she just wanted a way out of it.

All she needed was time and he couldn’t give that to her… well that’s what it seemed like. People in love say ‘home is where the heart is’ and if that’s what Tom was then why couldn’t she let go of the rest.. right?

More bitterness began to hit as the day was closer to ending. This was the last day of filming and she couldn’t believe that these past few months had gone by so quickly. It also hit her that she hasn’t gotten help for her trauma that she hadn’t taken care of.

She knew it was a reason that caused her and Tom break up.

As Tom and Zendaya swing down from the air and onto the pavement, y/n watches from the distance as the two lock eyes and the film is still rolling. He pulls of his mask and immediately locks his lips with Zendaya, and it’s almost a stab to the heart.

And they didn’t just shoot this scene once, they shot it enough that y/n had to move away from the main set while she hung out at the food table.

This was all fake and she knew that, and she was going to be fine. It was a little annoying to see but she knew that he loved her whether he had to kiss her best friend or not. And this was one of the last of her problems because she had nowhere to live and also had ptsd.

“cut! and that’s a wrap!”

y/n sighs and lets out a fake smile as the rest of the crew who claps out of excitement because quite literally this was the last scene. She claps from the food table as she watches her friends from the distance. Spiderman:far from home was done and so were her and Tom?

y/n had began packing for a couple of hours now, shooting was wrapped and she had no other reason to be in new york anymore. z was on her way back home to vacation with her family and y/n literally had nowhere to go. She wasn’t sure what Tom had done with their apartment back in LA but she as hell didn’t want to back there.

Her ptsd from that awful situation still haunts her and being alone in that place would trigger her so bad. This was truly one of those moments that she didn’t know if she could escape from, she had to face her fears whether that meant being homeless for a couple of days or facing Tom. She didn’t know if she could do either of them but she had to choose.

It was like in that moment the energy had brought up the knock on your hotel room door, “Who is it?” She asks as she continues shoving some of her toiletries in her luggage. The person’s voice at the door was too faint to hear so she decided to look and there stood her tall friend, Zendaya. y/n wasn’t too excited about company at the moment but she decided to open the door for her friend, “ Hey..”

Z smiles awkwardly, her snaggle tooth making an appearance, “Can I come in?”

y/n purses her lips in thought and nods almost hesitantly but let’s her friend into her room, “What’s up?” She asks as she closes her room door.

“I just wanted to check up on you, you’ve been pretty distant since we filmed last..” Zendaya turns around to face y/n who is still close to the door, “Like right now, your energy feels so off.”

y/n sighs, rubs her eyes in frustration and completely forgets she has mascara on, “I mean, Tom and I are done. I’m kind of upset about that.”

Z crosses her arms, she believed y/n but something felt different. “Okay, I get that but did I do something?” Her arms unfold and she rest her to hands on her chest, “Did I do something personally to upset you?”

And in fact, y/n wasn’t upset with her good friend at all but just bitter because she was freely being intimate with Tom on set. It was work though, Tom and Z’s job is romantic at the moment and y/n had no say in that but it also wasn’t her friend’s fault. In truth, y/n couldn’t bare the sight of them together but she had no right to be upset at her friend.

Although y/n wanted to tell Z the truth, right now wasn’t the time. “I- I just have a lot on my mind, I’m kind of homeless right now so I’m trying to figure out where I should even book a flight to.”

Z walks up to her friend and holds both of her elbows, she is super confused. “What do you mean..homeless? Your apartment..?”

y/n nods her head in defeat, even bowing her head because she can’t look her friend in the eyes, “I can’t go back there..it’s just too much.” Just thinking about the break in makes her so nauseous, the tears in her eyes beginning to overflow.

“Is it because of Tom?” Z asks, and y/n’s head immediately shoots up, “How dare you ask that.”

y/n’s tone becomes serious, her two tears flow down her cheeks as her eyes dry up, “I have more important things to deal with than him. I think I fucking need therapy for that fucking break in because I’m so fucked up and I can’t be alone.”

“Then don’t be, y/n.”

y/n nods her head, her throat burning because she is triggered that her friend is hitting the spots that she has been avoiding.

“For fucksakes, he literally wants to move to a different country with you..please help me understand.” Zendaya’s voice is in between frustrated but also understanding, she wants nothing but the best for her friend.

“That’s the thing... I need to be alone.” y/n moves past her friend and sits next to her luggage, “I need to be okay to be alone again. I love him so much..I just can’t be alone and what if-”

“What if?” Z asks before she can even finish her sentence. She makes her way next to y/n and moves her hair behind her ears, desperate to try and help her friend find an answer.

“What if I let my trauma take over my life?” She sighs as she lets out a few more tears, “I just know that I have to take care of this.”

Even though filming was done, Tom was going to stay in the big apple for a couple of more days. He was going to make an appearance at jimmy kimmel the next night so he was resting up. He lay on his bed in his pajamas and phone in hand just scrolling through his instagram when he gets a call.

Her name reads across the screen as he sits up quickly and blinks a couple of more times to make sure this was real.

“Hello?” He says into the phone, waiting to hear her voice on the other side.

“Hey...uhm, I’m outside your door.”

He keeps the phone to his ear as he gets up from his bed and makes his way to the hotel door, removing all the extra locks and there she was.

There is awkward tension but the energy flowing between them also feels safe. She brings her phone to her jean pocket and clears her throat, “Can I…?” She doesn’t even finish her question, it doesn’t give Tom more than a second to move out of the way.

He finally removes the phone from his ear, “I didn’t think you would still be here.”

She shrugs her shoulders as she stands in the middle of his room, “There were still things I needed to take care of.”

“Like us?” Tom bluntly asks, he needed to know and she needed to know that he fucked up. y/n looks to the ground and bites her bottom lip and makes eye contact with him, “There is no us..not anymore and I just wanted to-”

“No,no,no,” He repeatedly says as he drops

his phone to the floor and makes his way to her, “Listen, I fucked up so badly and I just wanted you to know that we don’t have to move anywhere you don’t want to.”

y/n purses her lips in thought, not even directly making eye contact with him. “I just- I need help.”

Tom shrugs his neck back a bit in confusion, “What?”

Tears begin to flow down her cheeks as she lets out a sigh in between an awkward laugh, “I need to be able to be alone..whether we’re together or not. I need to be able to be independent and not afraid.”

Before he can even respond, she continues. “And trust me, moving to a different country with you has nothing to do with it. And the old me would’ve went in a heartbeat...I need to find her again.”

Tom is still slightly unaware at what she is hinting it, he understands that the break in still has her a bit paranoid. “So, what are you saying?”

“I’m going to start going to therapy.” She lets out as she stands in the front of his bed, she meddles with her fingers as she finally releases her truth.

“And that’s okay, darling. I’m literally going to be here with you every step of the way.” Tom remarks as he finally makes his way to her, his hands interlocking with hers. Her hands weren’t as warm as they usually were but there he was to make her feel safe again. His hands move from her hands and up her arms, she still isn’t making eye contact with him.

“We can’t, Tom.” She doesn’t move, not even an inch because the warmth feels nice and familiar. She’s weary of even giving into a hug or a kiss, she doesn’t want to regret her decision.

He notices her not wanting to give into him but he also knows that this is what she has wanted for a long time..actually what they both have wanted for the longest time.

“Come on, love...aren’t you tired of dancing with our hands tied?” He asks as his hands rest on her neck, and her hands slowly come up his.

Her head comes closer to his, their noses touching at this point, “I am tired..but I need to work on myself first.”

Their lips touch and it felt like nothing has ever went wrong between the two. They were just two young kids who wanted only this and this moment to last forever.

She pulls away and her sighs, she needs to express a bit more before any of this goes further, “Tom..I just want you to know that I can’t move to Kingston…”

He nods in agreement as their noses are still intact, “That’s okay, love. You don’t-”

“But, I do. I really do want to move there and be with you.” She bites her bottom lip as her hands hold onto arms tightly, “I just need to make sure I’m okay..And I don’t know if that’ll be tomorrow, a week, a month, a year.” There is a pause between the two, she’s nervous. All she wanted was this to work and whether that meant they had to work on themselves separately or together.

All y/n wanted to make sure was that he made her heart feel safe, and that if this wasn’t okay that he needed to tell her that. All she wanted to hear was that it was going to be okay, and his response was only a few moments away. She hoped he didn’t run away this time.

A/N: SO DON’T FREAK OUT. THERE IS GOING TO BE AN EPILOGUE. UNTIL THEN...HIT MY MESSAGES..SEND ME THEORIES, THOUGHTS ANYHTING! LOVE YOU GUYS. -Amy 💛

#tom holland fan fic #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #reader x tom holland #tom holland x y/n #y/n x tom holland #tom #holland #spiderman #far from home #spiderman far from home #tom holland fan #tom holland x imagine #tom holland x reader imagine #tom holland x reader imagines #reader x tom holland imagines

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thepeerieeen · 7 years

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I'm having a "bad brain day" so I'm gonna binge watch some (presumably shitty) teenage tv, and you never know, I might enjoy it. So I'm seeing Free Rein on Netflix and I'm gonna give it a watch: here are my thoughts below the cut (it gets long, sorry). I should also note that I know next to nothing about horses or horse riding. Also there are probably spoilers ahead.

Ep1:

Nice scenery

She looks uncomfortable, like they've just put her on a horse and told her to smile

Why is Zoe Scottish

Wait nvm

Oh hey, Zoe's cute

The grandad is brilliant I already love him

Ah, no father. Same

Why is there just shit on the side of the road, there are no animals around and I doubt the horses would go to the side of the road to poo

Why does he still have kids drawings on his cupboards?

Digging the teapot

Ah, layered tops. Typical teenage fashion

"The light will come through again" needing that today

Haha "what's a wifi"

At least they represent Jetlag though

Ah yes, one daughter goes missing - send the other one out to look for her. What could possibly go wrong.

Ooh, that acting wasn't great. Though the blonde is actually quite a good actress

Ooh, Raven. Ooh, foreshadowing (I guess)

K but this isn't the type of thing Austen would write

Why is Marcus like 25, the others are like 12 what

He's not even that attractive? (Says the bisexual who is more into women rn)

Horsome - the new fetch

Ah yes, get off the bike, that makes sense

Oh look a wild horse, who'd've ever thought???

Oh wow! Wild horse who is only understood by outcast? This is groundbreaking!

(Jk I'm kinda into this ngl)

An actual Scottish person!

Who's the guy with the cheekbones and why is he so shifty

What happened to the bike?

Oh Derek is obviously in love with the main stable person

Ah yes, stop looking for your sister and go chat to a horse

Bitch number one has arrived

Of course she owns the horse. That makes sense

They've called him hot Marcus jesus what is this

Cheekbones is stealing. Stop being shifty.

Welp theres the first continuity error I've spotted

Cheekbones is stalking now, apparently

Cheekbones is about to be falling in love, I'm calling it

He's also like, twenty tho

Oh shit what why is she being stalked now??

Ep2:

This is clearly a dream though

Are jelly shoes back in fashion? Sweet

I refuse to believe she could hear him from that distance and a closed window

I predict a love triangle

I mean cheekbones has a point

That wasn't a long conversation, like, that woulda taken an hour for me how does the mother do that?

Ah, ye olde fart joke

Bitch number one pulling the "I have lots of money" card

So they're putting cheekbones and Zoe together. I mean I can live with that

Oh my god cheekbones don't be such an arse

You'd think the mother would have worried if her other daughter didn't turn up the the pier where they agreed to meet?

Let's read mum's old diary! That can never go wrong!

They're literally stalking hot Marcus? Thats a?? Wee bit weird???

They're actually letting Mia go on Raven? Wow

Bob is kinda cute actually

I mean... she kinda deserved to fall not gonna lie

Bet Zoe is gonna make the magazine cover. Would serve Mia right lmao

Ok that's kinda cute, cheekbones. At least we know you're human

Wait what? Is cheekbone's name Pin?

WHAT SORT OF A NAME IS PIN?!

And the mother doesn't want the daughter to be riding. That makes a lot of sense. Totally.

Did she even peel those carrots?

Why has no one noticed she's wearing someone else's hoodie?

THANK YOOOOU

Oh shit, cheekbones is stealing the sedatives. No one saw that coming

Ep3:

K but she didn't say you couldn't go to the stables?

Rosie is honestly brilliant

Grandpa and I are on the same wavelength

Pin cam - idk man surely you could just... talk to him?

How could Marcus tell it was too small?? He wasn't looking at her???

Oh my god. Tie up your hair

Of course she's a prodigy, why wouldn't she be

They actually have a secret hip hop dance routine?? I wanna see that not gonna lie

The pun and finger guns have me. This kid is my new favourite character

Rosie, much though I like you, that is a total breach of privacy

Told you Pin cam would backfire

Now Marcus is going to find out about her "recording him"

It's only £10? I wanna go to pony camp.

Bet cheekbones is gonna go into where she just went

Called it

There must be a more subtle way to break into the medicine cabinet than with a screwdriver?

He's obviously not a horse thief? Medicine thief sure, horse thief nah

And I suppose that's Raven telling her it wasn't him, because that makes perfect sense

Ugh Mia calm down

Tbh maybe the parents would be better off separated? But like idk

It's the police, for why

Of course it was firefly that got stolen. I kinda feel for Mia and her bad acting.

Ep4:

How come is Pin allowed to come back even though he was stealing sedatives? That's still kinda illegal?

You're not banned from the stables though, are you Zoe

Rosie you sarcastic legend

She has a point though, what if she breaks her leg

Why is everyone attracted to Marcus?

Puns

Oh look, it pin

.....why do I dress the same way as Pin?

Who in their right mind needs three horses?

Pin is ignoring her - quite right honestly

Ah yes, subtly eavesdropping

I bet Elliot isn't even E

Ben is great

Ben and Rosie are in love. I've decided.

If course Pin is leading the hack

Mr Cheekbones! That's totally who he is! I called it!

He clearly doesn't want to talk, like... maybe let Pin get over the whole getting arrested thing? Idk

Why Becky? I don't understand?

Ah yes, follow the broody horse guy who was stealing sedatives, that can't possibly go wrong and is obviously the best option

Wait so Zoe followed Pin to his house and is now demanding he tells her what he has in the weird crate thing? Wow

And it's a horse. Wow. It's not like this is a horse show or anything

Called it, not a horse thief

Pin’s actually kinda sweet

Wait

Am I attracted to Pin?

I think I'm attracted to Pin

Shit

Decent cinematography there though

Ghost pony is a brilliant story

Wow Mia is such a dick

Now, this can go one of two ways. And I confidently predict Mia is gonna tell Zoe's mum she's not allowed to ride

Called it

Ep5:

Well the riding crop thing Is obviously the mother's

Oh yeah, Marcus is a character

How did anyone actually get close enough to Raven to braid his tail?

Savaaaaaaage

Ugh "like electricity" ughhh

What happened to Rosie?

Grandpa is brilliant and I love him

Why would fixing a radio make it up to Pin? I don't understand?

Those leather trousers though....

They're actually kinda cute together.... what is this

I ship it?

I still find Pin vaguely attractive and idk why

Oh hey Marcus, you're here as Love Interest #2

Oh no, I feel a bit bad for Rosie, I hope she doesn't get bullied

I'm emotionally attached

What is this

Why am I hooked on this television programme

Why

She can't seriously be intending to stay the whole night in the hay? It gets cold at night how're they gonna survive?

Oh actually Rosie might do okay. Cool

Who is gonna clean up all those crisps though?

Ghost pony, again

Pebbles?! Brilliant

I love Becky.

This can not end well

Definition of me on social media

She has five horses? Who needs five horses??

It's gonna be Rosie and crew, not horse thieves

..., that was unexpected

I am also relieved to find out there is no ghost pony

Look at them, stealing the horse.

Or not

Ep6:

Oh yeah, time zones are a thing

Rosie is not a subtle eavesdropper

Ah, a horse show. Why didn't I expect that

£15,000. Enough to, say, help this stable that is running low on money which we have been repeatedly told from the first episode? Let me guess, another, rival stable always wins and there's no way they could never pull it off?

Holloway Riding School. Called it

Can Becky just give away food?

"Keeping you entertained is easy" is it though????

Mate listen to his teachings.

You need your foundations in place before you can get any good?

"Let me go over the jump" "no" *does it* "wow well done"

Ugh she's gonna ride raven

Bet it doesn't go well

That's very Rube Goldberg not gonna lie

One little ride around the paddock will hurt

There's a race? The quads are gonna win

Bob was not made for speed.

And there goes Raven

Because obviously.

Pin looks worried because he has a crush on Zoe. Obviously

And yet Marcus is gonna get all the glory

That cringey ADR

Marcus has a point though, the basics are important

We're unlocking Maggie's backstory

She can't still be upset about a horse that died over 15 years ago?

I ship Becky and Jade not gonna lie

Ugh team lists. I'm calling it Zoe will have made it on despite not even trying out

Yup.

Wait she's reserve on Raven? Why? That's not a good move?

Ep 7:

Mia is such a bitch

Ok Raven doesn't like water, and I confidently predict this is an important plot point

Ooooh Mia just got rejected

So now the Ghost Pony is Emerald

Zoe you are so naive Marcus is asking you to the dance

Becky I love you and the mystery tortilla

Mia hasn't made the cover, I can predict.

I do feel a bit bad for Mia with her not very good father who isn't really there for her

That colour of green is a really nice colour of green. It brings out Pin's eyes. Ew, stop, why am I like this

Pin stop

Is zoe about to be murdered?

I thought the ghost pony was called Pebbles?

Why has Ted suddenly warmed up to Zoe?

Unlocking Raven's backstory

Pins name is actually Peter. Huh

It's nice that the moor pony is getting better enough to eat an apple

She's not on the cover

Pin likes Zoe and I ship it

Tedward

She's on her way to Steel (lol) his heart

Perfect - let the horse who is scared of water jump the water jump what could go wrong. Throw in an inexperienced rider into the mix and it's a perfect combination.

Wait this is actually kinda sweet

A funeral for Emerald is lovely

But the name Edward begins with an E so maybe E wasn't just Emerald

You could fall. IN LOVE. WITH PIN. OH MY GOD PLS

Wait what

Why has the photographer never heard of brightfields

Mia is so stuck up but I quite like her

I definitely did not need to take a 20 minute break just trying to find out how old Freddy Carter was, jesus.

Throwing stones at the windows, teenage stereotypes

They're cute

Ah, he couldn't say Peter, hence the Pin

Oh my god heartbreaking

Now they're going to the dance. Nice one

Oh god is Mia gonna do something to sabotage Zoe and Pin?

Holy shit is Ghost Pony real?

Ep8:

I actually quite like that yellow dress, not gonna lie

I love Becky and so does Jade

It's totally a date don't lie to yourself Zoe

Mia can get tae

Pin don't listen to her

She wouldn't tell you if it wasn't true though would she, Pin you imbecile

Rosie stop sabotaging, your mother is allowed to have friends

Oh shit they were a couple

Wait

What if it turns out Pin and Zoe are siblings

Wait no I'm thinking too much into this

Pin calm it

Marcus be happy

Pin... just.........

bob wyd

They're married.

"I already did" I mean....,

How are they upset by that?

Literally just talk to each other? This would make everything so much easier?

And Raven is still scared of water. Don't blame him, honestly

Ben and Rosie are evil geniuses

Becky is adorable and thinks safety goggles would help prevent death

She also thinks carrots glow in the dark

Wait how does Maggie know about the whole boys thing

Offscreen I guess

I mean I wouldn't wear that dress, but I guess it's okay?

Rosie fixing lights is not going to end well

Yup.

Where did ted come from? How did he get there so fast?

I mean Zoe actually pulls off that dress

Has Becky been murdered?

Oh yeah, Becky has a blog

I don't necessarily understand how or why a ghost pony is scary

Oh wait it's a person

Is it the horse thieves

It is the horse thieves

Why did they wait until dark? That would have been a long time to wait to capture the horse thief

Derek is a brilliant character

Who is very obviously in love with Sam

That barn actually looks pretty good

Pin went with Mia? That's surprising

Ted and Maggie are cute

Ben and Rosie are also cute

Derek and Sam are also a little bit cute

Piiiin don't be a diiiick

Those shoes don't really go with that outfit tho...

Rosie is in the spotlight though and I'm sure she's loving it

Mia go and just stop

Ooh thunder

Marcus is following Zoe who is following Pin who is going home

Oh wait Pin and Zoe are arguing in the rain. I may not be familiar with tropes but I'm pretty sure that they're about to kiss

And they're cute and I ship them

Marcus is just casually watching around the corner. Like a stalker

Was not expecting that?

Of course this is when the horse thieves take Raven

Ok but shouting after him is hardly gonna do anything?

Ep9:

I mean... it wasn't even her horse

That's so Raven

Wait they have security camera surely the thief will be ca- oh there was a power cut

But there was a back up generator?

Wait but Zoe is supposed to ride on Raven in the show? Assuming she has to

Rosie is so extra

Oh my god just like... idk kiss

That highlight tho

"That's what I love about you" pin, do continue

Pin you genius

So now they're off to look for this horse

Why didn't they just have this chat at the stables before they left and saved time?

"If the storm comes in again turn back" so the storm is gonna come in again and one or more of them aren't gonna turn back. Ok

"I am scared of the tooth fairy! What does she need all those teeth for? What's her plan?" Same Becky

Ben and Rosie have a handshake, this is cute

What is her plan

Becky is me with every single person I have a crush on

This is a significant character development for Mia

Ok so the only group not turning back is mia, susie, and Zoe

This is not going to end well

Mia.... Zoe can't control the weather?

That recording is in no way convincing

Wait how big is this island???

Either Mia or Zoe is going to get hurt

Ghost pony?

I mean this is just a bad horror movie now

Oh shit, firefly?

And Mia got hurt. Okay.

Wait so if Mia's hurt, she can't do the show?

Wait so the dad just turned up?

I like that there has been a character development now we sorta understand Mia's actions

So Mia can't ride

Wait what

Who is this and why is she here

Why is that so ominous

Ep10:

Rosie is so done with England

Sam is being pretty chill

Oh never mind

Marcus also has a crush

Still a Pin supporter tho

Rosie is brilliant

I would wear every single outfit pin has worn this season, not gonna lie

Becky is not helpful

And a raven horseshoe? Really?

Wait... nah never mind

Wow the mystery lady from the jaguar was just suuuuper rude to pin

I'm with Ted - it's totally what he thinks

Oh shit wait is Sam a horse thief?

Oh she is! Okay

That was a twist

I did not see that one coming

Don't just ignore Pin?

So now she just tells her that Raven is still on the island? Okay

Yaaas Pin! Go with her!

What signal? You can't just say wait for my signal and then not say what the signal is?

Wait but Zoe is getting the stolen horse and can't ride

Wait pin what are you doing

Oh the horseshoe

Wait if Mia could have ridden anyway, why put Zoe on?

I get the whole sprained ankle thing but she's just doing it?

Oh look, clever parallels between Mia doing the show and Zoe escaping

But what happened to Pin

And Rosie, where is Rosie

Oh look, water

Any bets Raven overcomes his fear and makes it across

Well look at that!

Also there's pin, he looks so proud

Dereeeeeek how do you feel

Oh no, pin don't feel bad. It's only Marcus... well actually..

"Derek" "its officer wrigley" savaaaaage

Wait.... his last name is wrigley?!

Is this their secret hip hop routine?! Oh my god this is brilliant!

I'm calling it - they've won

Yeah

Everyone has just left Mia lmao

Pin didn't even ride why is he there?

SUSIE HAD A BOYFRIEND ALL ALONG

IM SHOOK

if there was a scout at the riding school, they wouldn't send a letter if they didn't let him in?

Of course he got in that just makes sense?

Why would they send him a letter telling him he didn't get in if he was scouted?? It makes no sense????

And they kissed. Wow. There was like, no build up for that, Zoe and Pin, however....

Wait so Zoe is still not interested?

And now she's going to Pin?

Throwback to the singing teapot

It Pin

Oh that was actually pretty funny? I guess? Nice one Pin

Wait what's happening

Haha Lavinia

Ah, back to old Raven/Midnight Blue i guess

What do you want her to do Pin, I don't???

Ok so this is not a satisfying ending

Pin... are you literally stealing a horse right now?

Okay this is a lovely scene and all but how realistic is this

"I won't let you" you can't stop her???

Wait what

Okay so she can stay in England or go to America

She's gonna stay

They'll get renewed for a season two and she'll stay

And fall in love with pin

Because reasons

Should I stay or should I go now

Of course Mia is gonna buy the stables.

To summarise: That wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be - I actually quite enjoyed it.

#free rein #liveblog #i guess #I watched over four hours of this show in one sitting #I just thought I would post this here as like #a note to self? idk #long post

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