You guys apparently liked the idea so I’m not here to disappoint. I had way more to say about this than I thought I thought I did so, needless to say it’s long. I don’t know if the next ones will be this long, but yeah… I guess all I can recommend is for you to grab a cup of coffee, or tea, or water, or the blood of virgins, and let’s just break this opening track down. Here is “Red Desert”:
Hey everybody! I’m hosting a massive zoom streaming party with a few friends to celebrate Calm being out for a week!! We really hope we can get as many members of the 5sosfam to participate and get Calm to number 1 this week!!
Here we go form C A L M lyrics analysis from a lashton point of view. Aka another long as fuck post.
Few consideration first. I am really happy that all of the song are not love songs! That was a bit of a down point for me about YB and I’m really happy to see other theme in this album! Also, I think we can all agree that it’s an happier album than YB, and that’s good! I’m happy the boys feel in better place.
Songs I won’t talk about too much about
There are very good songs that I don’t have much say about from a lashton perspective so I’ll just quickly pass them.
Red desert. Great song, I love it, but not lashton song. It’s about going back to your roots, dive inside of yourself to find the core, the passion, and light it up. Like a phoenix rising from ashes. Let it rise in you and guide you further. Great message.
No shame. This one is a social and self critique of the way we seek for attention and fame. Very nice, but not a lashton song neither.
Old me. A reflection on your past, owning your mistake and you strength as well. Learning lessons from the pass and find pride in your achievements. It is technically a lashton song. And I think it’s very cute that they wrote it together, but it doesn’t say much about their relationship.
Wildflower. Such a bop! It’s the “valentine” of CALM, even surpasses it in my opinion. Feelgood, sexy, groovy, and all, but definitely not a lashton song.
Ok buckle in babies, we’re making a ship list. (Part 1)
(I don’t know why I’m making this other than the idea gave me dopamine and I like gay shit.)
Basically I’m gonna be going through each ship and going through the realness, the type of relationship they have, whose top and whose bottom, and overall how much they hype each other (in interviews, on twitter, on live-streams. You name it.) Then I’ll be grading them on a scale of 1 to 10.
Now first a disclaimer: I’m making this ship list is based solely on my opinions, the evidence I’ve seen, and what the tarot cards have told me. And even though it’s fact in my mind doesn’t mean it’s fact for real. So honestly just enjoy them cause we’re in for a wild ride. Feelin good?
Good. Let’s go alphabetically shall we?
Cake is a great ship. I think it’s one of the more plausible ships in 5sos cause you better believe giggly baby boy Luke loves him some Calum. I think this relationship is actually just a booty call though. Like Luke and Calum are friends with benefits, I have no doubt about it.
Look at that.
So needless to say the top and the bottom are pretty obvious. Luke being a bottom, and Calum being the top. Take one good look at both of them together at /any age and tell me I’m wrong. Calum could beat the shit out of Luke anytime. It just helped when he got muscles.
Luke was trying to get dicked down in this live stream, and the one before that. Fr. Quarantine’s got this boy going crazy. And generally on twitter they’re flirty. And Calum Luke’s to roast Luke a LOT.
Final review of Cake: 7/10
An unbreakable bond. The best of friends. Two sides of the same chaotic coin. They’re as real as it comes. If Ashton does something, Calum’s there. You cannot separate them. And why would you want to?
Now I don’t think that Cashton fucks, let’s be completely honest. Who the hell would top? I feel like Calum is more likely to bottom than Ashton, but he’s not likely to bottom with Ashton. They’d fight over it. Physically. Full brawl beatdown. So no drunk hookups for them. But I feel like they probably do send porn to each other, smfh. They’re chaotic.
They hype each other up all the time. As best friends do. They wrote a fucking song about their friendship sober, and then another one drunk. Ashton has now been seen writing Calum fanfiction, it’s done. They’re inseparable. Name a more iconic duo.
Final review of Cashton 8/10
Ok I know. I’m a bit biased on this one… it is my handle, but, it’s my handle for good reason. I mean where should you even start with these two? I mean obviously they’re real. Obviously they’re real. If you choose an interview—any interview—and focus on either one of them, they’re likely looking at each other. Like they’re the kings of staring at each other when they shouldn’t be. Get a fuckin room already, damn.
You don’t have to watch him all the time buddy. He’s not gonna disappear. And not to mention everytime they’re beside each other, THEYRE
Like there is so much more, this is just a basic search through commonly used gifs.
So I’ve seen a lot of discrepancies between who tops and who bottoms, and you can’t tell me that Luke could ever top Ashton. I’m sorry, but I’ve seen the outline of Luke’s dick in leather pants, and to think he tops anyone is a stretch. But Ashton? No. Ashton tops.
Maybe he was verse way back in the day? But after he got muscles and started wearing bandanas? The days of bottom!ash were done. I’m really sorry guys. I hate to do it to you. But Luke is a soft boy who likes being picked up, and Ashton likes caring for Luke too much to be his sub.
Speaking of care, Ashton could write a dissertation sized paper on how much he loves Luke. He would go on about it. And has. Numerous times. He always tries to boost Luke’s confidence, and sometimes roasts him as well. Tell me that’s not boyfriend moves right there. And it’s constant. Ashton is in love with Luke. And that’s the point.
Final review of Lashton: 10/10
Ok that’s part 1. And I’m only breaking it up, cause there’s only 10 images per post. What a fuckin rip off. Anyway, part 2 soon and we’ll go into the three M’s cause Mikey deserves love and his own post.
Warnings: This is boyxboy (Lashton), so please do not read if you hate gay smut sorry!!! Also SMUT. I think that Luke looks like Angela from American Beauty, so this is inspired by her…not the whole movie! Enjoy!
The title is from an unreleased Lana Del Rey song called “Because of You.”
Several months ago you started up a relationship with Ashton Irwin, the drummer of Five Seconds of Summer. It had started as late-night hookups or drunken blowjobs until one morning you were getting dressed to leave when Ashton told you to stay and you did. That day the two of you laid in bed, lazily making out and talking about relationships. He confessed that he wanted you and only you and no more of just one night stands. He wanted to have play fights, make you breakfast in bed and everything else in between.
The boys were currently in the studio discussing the new album with their management. You decided to tag along with your boyfriend, wanting to support him and his bandmates. Ashton was sat on the other side of the room with the crew while you were on a very worn out leather couch, scrolling through Twitter. Every once in a while you would glance up to check on your boy, giggling and messing with Calum’s cheeks. As you looked back down at your phone you felt eyes upon you. You slowly raised your head back up to see Luke staring at you. A blush formed on your cheeks as you gave him a small smile and returned back to Twitter.
idk how many more sexual scenarios i can push, but i am loving on the character and relationship development. @kindahoping4forever cheered your girl on as she always does.
Ash comes home from work early one day, neither you or Luke were expecting him. You just knew he’d been tired a lot and there had been a lot of late nights at the office and him coming in and collapsing in bed with you and Luke. You can only remember one night he spent in his own bed since the three of you had the incredibly intimate night, and that was only because he had zero energy to join you.
You’d made note and made sure anything you and Luke wanted to do was done before he got home. He seemed to need to be with the two of you, re-energized by the closeness, at least enough to get through another crazy day.
But he was in high spirits. He grins at you, calls for Luke and collapses with you on the couch. Luke looks confused when he walks in, handing you a sandwich wrapped in a napkin and a bottle of water and sits on the other side of Ash, taking a bite of his own sandwich.
I love how you delve into the theories about Lashton, something I see very few blogs do. You've said a few times that you think Luke and Ashton are together in phases. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on this and views about which interviews/miscellaneous interactions indicate their on and off phases to you? x
Hey! Thank you for your ask. I love to theorize about Lashton!! ahah
So my global theory is that while Ashton and Luke had feelings and attraction for each other pretty much from day 1, they struggled (and probably still struggle) to make something stable and positive about it. I believe they both had/have a hard time accepting that they are attracted to another man and on top of that their best friend. I guess the band dynamic is also a major factor and that they’d rather fuck up their love lives, than the band and their career.
So with that my theory is that they have phases were they are flirty, cute with each other, get closer, etc. Leading up to a plateau where they kinda feel/live a couple. And then comes a downhill phase, when it becomes too much, too real, too serious, for one or the other and they freak out, or when band priorities comes clashing (management maybe? PR and stuns? that kind of thing). So they end up hurting each other a bit, and get some distance. Distance which is always hampered by the fact that they are in a band and see other almost everyday, and have to work together no matter what. And with a little bit of time and healing and longing, this goes back to another flirty phase eventually.
Does it make sense? x) I hope it does.
In practice that would be : first flirty phase would be the whole 1D and Selftitled era, even if that’s a long time I don’t think anything serious happened, but they were both happy with it at the time. Then a distance phase when Bryanna comes in picture and Arz a bit later. I’d believe mid-SLFL tour, Ashton and Luke started a new flirty phase that grew up during all the writing of YB era and plateau-ed when they lives together at the end of 2017. The beginning and formalization of Lierra most-likely took a shot at them, for a large art of 2018. After that, 2019 till now is a bit more blurry, I should ding on it.
For 2011 till 2017 vision of my headcanon Lashton / theorized Lashton, you can read, if you have the time and if you want to, my lashton fic “Les histoires d’amour finissent mal en général / Love stories don’t usually end happily” on wattpad or AO3.
I guess you could say that’s half a theory and half a headcanon ? While that’s nothing proving is wrong, that’s not necessarily much proving it right either ^^”. It’s just that it makes sens in my head. Although the amount of push-and-pull love songs that we got from YB and CALM (and we know Lashton were the main writers for that) makes me think that it might not be so out of mark.