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#Let's hope they don't read tags

tswwwit · 9 months

Note

Lol omg at your last ask because imagine dippers under some truth spell and ends up spilling a bunch of secrets that Bill already knew and had stashed to use for later

This is no longer 'last ask' relevant because I had this partially written in my drafts for like a million years - but a Truth spell on Dipper would be very interesting!

So I took this prompt and didn't really answer it except in some ways.

Here's a thing!

“You never bring me any souvenirs.” Bill complains. In an all-too-whiny tone, and an all-too-close lean into Dipper's personal space.

Plus, it's a blatant lie. One Dipper shouldn't respond to.

He does anyway. “I literally brought you harpy feathers last week.”

“Doesn’t count! That was for a ritual you wanted to pull off!” Bill sounds miffed, though he also plants a palm on Dipper’s head and starts ruffling hair. “Now where's the emerald from last March? Or like, the headdress from that cult with all the rabbit bones? The good stuff."

Dipper grunts. He focuses on navigating back out of the cave, turning the clay tablet over in his hands.

Figures Bill would remember all the times he did get something. His memory is excellent. And he’s greedy, because a new toy every time is a big ask.

What does Bill expect, anyway. Not every situation Dipper gets into has something to bring back. What could he even offer? An ear taken off every monster he has to fight?

Wait, no. Bill would love that.

Dipper makes a face. “You've just proved that it's not ‘never’. With examples."

"Sure, but when’s the last time it was cool?”

Dipper sighs. No point in arguing. Bill could go on forever about how 'unfair' it is that he doesn't get trophies from every trip, or trinkets from conquered lands, or, again, ears from every enemy. When he’s decided to complain, no reasonable argument will shake him out of it.

“Too bad, then. You’re only getting some gifts.” Dipper shakes his head rapidly to dislodge Bill’s hand from his hair. "It’s hardly the worst thing that’s ever happened to you."

“Hey! I could argue that it’s related! In fact -”

Dipper tunes out the rest of Bill’s ramble, rolling his eyes. Listening with half an ear to Bill's ongoing tirade about being a poorly kept man, and unappreciated in his time.

Despite how much he already has, Bill always wants more. Somehow he sniffed out Dipper’s latest excursion, showing up right at the end and looking for ‘loot’.

Which Dipper, by all rights, should prevent.

Anything magical falling into Bill's hands can cause chaos, no matter how innocuous it seems. The flower incident alone is reason not to hand Bill anything, ever, and the fact that Dipper still does sometimes should be appreciated, damn it.

Bill's complaining on and on, but whatever. Eventually he'll get bored.

In the meantime, Dipper turns the clay tablet around again with a frown. He found something interesting, at least.

Whatever this is, it’s definitely not a language he recognizes. The script is strange, scrawled in different directions. For all he knows he’s holding it upside down. He hopes Bill doesn’t notice until he’s figured out -

"Whatcha got there?" Just as expected - and right on time.

Dipper feels the tablet yanked out of his grasp, unfazed. He doesn't break his stride.

"I found it in the lair, after... you know." Charred bones, explosions - Dipper wishes he could use, like water, or something, but mastery over even one element is powerful as is. "Anyway, that monster was collecting a lot of weird magic stuff, and this was the only interesting thing it had." He shrugs. Then, because Bill will like it, adds, "So... to the victor go the spoils?"

“Now that’s the spirit!” Bill gives him a grin, holding the tablet up to squint at it. Thankfully not turning it around. One point for Dipper, on not looking incompetent.

Still, if anyone can read it…

“What language is this?” Dipper not-so-subtly leans over, trying to peek around Bill’s arm.

"Old Draconic," Bill says, without missing a beat. Humming to himself as he apparently reads the text. Perking up a bit, smile widening. "Oh, hey! Iambic pentameter."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, sapling. I just wish when people did the whole 'ancient poetry curse' thing, they'd get a little more creative. You never see hexameter! Or tetrameter! Not even a tasteful use of spondee.” Bill sticks his tongue out. "Come to think of it - I don’t think anyone’s done a prose epic that made the reader wanna tear their eyes out since Joyce."

Sometimes with Bill, you have to read between the lines. The long, irrelevant babbling lines.

"Just tell me if I need to get Ford or not." Dipper says, flat. He rubs at the bridge of his nose.

Among all the other stuff, Bill said ‘curse’. Never, ever a good sign.

Though the monster he just took down wasn’t a dragon, and that wasn’t really a ‘horde’ so much as something resembling the contents of the Mystery Shack, there’s absolutely no good thing about a curse. If Dipper somehow triggered it -

Great. As if hanging around Bill alone didn’t invite enough bad fortune, he’s picking up parts of his own stupid curiosity.

"Nah, don’t bother with the loser uncle!" Bill waves his concern away, amused. “This is just purple prose! Buncha ‘oooh, bad things’ll happen if you mess with my stuff.’ Totally boilerplate spellcraft with some flowery wording.”

With a shrug, Bill dismisses the whole thing. Which includes chucking the tablet over his shoulder, but Dipper manages to snag it before it falls and shatters into a million pieces.

“Typical dragon horde enchantment. All bluster, no burning.” Bill keeps walking without a care in the world. “They’re full of hot air!”

“So I’m not cursed,” Dipper prompts, catching up to him. “Aside from you, I mean.”

“Flatterer,” Bill says, slightly warmer. He continues, shrugging. “No reason you would be! No dragons in the area, and the warning sign there’s too old. By my guess, the original horde was raided centuries ago! Just another piece of random crap that got dragged into that junkyard." And he ruffles Dipper’s hair again, in the second-most annoying way. "You’re stuck with me, though.”

Dipper ducks and twists, thus freeing himself from the minor torment. “I think I can live with that.”

One would think that chatting with a demon - one as cryptic and ominous and aggravating as Bill - would only cause irritation, at best.

It still does, of course. But when it comes to Dipper, Bill… sometimes lays things out straight. On occasion. Especially when he’s instructing, doubly when it comes to magic. Like he’s trying to pour all the facts he can into Dipper’s brain, overfilling the cup.

If his goal is to overload this one mortal mind, though, he'll have to work a lot harder.

Dipper gets out his notebook, while Bill looks away, and pretends he didn’t see it. Yet another poorly-veiled lesson, with Bill obviously trying to plant seeds re: actually casting curses. Tough luck managing that. His subtle lean towards chaos might escape the unwary, but to Dipper? Bill’s way too transparent.

The fact is, that Dipper absorbs things fast. Even Bill will admit it, sometimes without being prompted.

That Includes stuff Bill doesn't even know he's teaching.

Bill’s also rambling on about historical curses, and how often these things backfire, or misfire. It’d almost sound like a series of unconnected, gossipy anecdotes, if it weren’t for the extra technical details.

And Dipper’s not falling for it. As far as he's concerned, his first curse was his last one.

But then…

Even if he’s not going to use the knowledge, there's no reason not to learn it. Knowledge about making curses can also be used to break them, after all. Taking all the facts Bill smacked a ‘For Evil Purposes Only’ sticker on and using them to shatter an evil plan would be very satisfying.

They’re nearly out of the cave at this point, so Dipper figures it’s fine to let his guard down a bit. The monster's dead, all the traps were cleared out on the way in - everything should be fine.

He clicks his pen a couple times, and asks Bill to repeat that last thing, about the life drain. It gets a snort of amusement, but Bill’s more than happy to elaborate at length. Dipper struggles to keep up with Bill’s rapid-fire speech; he's trying to make this intentionally difficult, damn it.

Bill leads on with careless gestures and an uninterrupted stride. Getting ahead of Dipper by several meters, but Dipper’s got to note down what he says before he has to do something awful, like ask Bill to repeat himself.

Dipper is, in fact, so busy trying to write in shorthand, and walk, and not hit a stalactite with his face, all at the same time, that he sort of loses track of where he is.

And okay, maybe he trips over a rock slightly, and nearly faceplants, bonking against the sudden curve of a wall with a swear.

Dipper takes a step back, rubbing at his forehead. Annoying, but, whatever. There were a few traps around, but he pretty much cleared out the cave on the way in, so it’s probably - oh, hell.

Not fine, he dropped the stupid tablet.

Great. The only really interesting object, shattered into half a dozen pieces. So much from saving it from Bill; Dipper himself fumbled the bag.

He backs up to evaluate the damage -

The stone sinks under his foot, and something goes ‘click’.

With a start, Dipper raises a shield without thinking, arm jerking up as he wills his magic into the gesture. It's solid enough for something done on reflex, but an impact hits hard on his side, with sudden, stinging pain.

And a pretty hard impact, at that. He didn’t get it solid enough, damn it, wasn’t expecting something physical -

Dipper wheezes out a breath, slumping to the ground and clutching his stomach.

Alright. So. He got most of the traps.

He sits down, and lets his head thump back against the stone, teeth bared in a grimace. Stupid. Should have been paying attention.

The commotion makes Bill turn his head, blinking at Dipper sitting on the ground.

Then - because he’s an asshole - he starts laughing.

“I know I’m fascinating, sapling, but really?” He tuts, setting fists on his hips. “Not sure if I should be flattered that you’re obsessed with me, or disappointed that you’re dumb enough to walk right into a wall.”

Dipper sucks in a breath, gingerly touching his side. Doesn’t seem like - he glances down. Sure, it stings, and his shirt’s torn, a long, shallow cut on his stomach, just near the old scar. But that’s about it. Over to his side, an arrow rolls against the ground, stone head clicking against the ground.

Over by the cave mouth, Bill’s cackling. God, he’s a jerk sometimes.

But he must not have seen the trap set off, too wrapped up in his own stupid bullshit, or he’d be less of one. Dipper knows that for a fact. Though he’d really, really prefer he’d never had that experience.

“C’mon, kid. If you’re not even more brain damaged from your bump, let’s ditch this joint.” Bill jerks his head over his shoulder.

Dipper hugs himself around the torso, grimacing. Not bothering to respond. His heart is still pounding, or he’d have a retort ready. Adrenaline’s helped him out in a lot of situations, but not with talking. He’ll get up when he’s ready.

“What, you smash your skull open or something?” Bill raises one arch eyebrow.

Though Dipper knows why Bill’s like this, it’s still deeply annoying. He shakes his head in lieu of a reply. In a second, he’ll be calm enough to tell Bill exactly what he thinks of his incredibly poor bedside - and cave-side - manner.

“Figures. Can’t leave you alone for five minutes without your guts spilling everywhere.” Bill clicks his tongue, folding his arms and stepping forward. “What’s the damage?”

“It hurts.” Dipper says, through gritted teeth. Then pauses. Wait, he meant to say - He shakes his head rapidly, only for more words to force themselves out, unbidden. “I got cut again.”

Again, not what he intended. Dipper lowers his chin, teeth clenched. What the hell, he shouldn’t have said that. Bill’s mocking aside, maybe he did hit his head a little too hard. Once Bill gets the mockery out of his system, he’s going to be a total pest about it, too.

With a huff, Dipper slumps. Settling in for a sulk, waiting for the next jab - But there’s no insult forthcoming. Or argument.

In fact, Bill’s gone totally silent. Which is super weird.

Dipper looks up at the cave entrance, expecting a comment or a question, or at least a huge grin. He tenses up, hunching over.

And meets a frozen, unsmiling face.

Bill dropped his arms, they hang limp by his sides. His expression’s gone blank.

The next moment, he’s right in front of Dipper, kneeling and tugging at his arms with alarming urgency.

“Alright, lemme see.” Bill’s face is very close. Though he’s trying to pull his arms away, Dipper resists out of sheer surprise. Bill growls, eye darting around until it lands on the arrow. “Oh for - Really can’t leave you alone for five minutes. Move.”

Another pull, less hard this time. Like he’s trying to ease Dipper’s arms away.

“Wh- Hey!” Dipper plants a foot against Bill’s chest, but that hardly stops anything. He raises his arms. Holding them up, in fact, like he’s at gunpoint. Where’d this come from. “Don’t get upset, I’m fine.”

“Ha! Good one, sapling. Who’s upset, exactly?” Bill says, teeth bared, and in a deeply upset way. He tugs Dipper’s shirt, up, fingers tracing the cut before pressing into his stomach. “I’m just wondering if I need a replacement mortal this soon into your miserable existence. No big deal!”

Okay, this is too much.

Dipper struggles up, despite Bill trying to shove him down again. Bracing himself on the cave wall, and glaring. “Calm down already.”

“I’m perfectly calm.” Bill says, through gritted teeth. At best he looks miffed, but he’s at least stopped trying to make Dipper lie down in the recovery position or whatever. With a glare, he tugs up Dipper’s shirt, prodding at the shallow cut. “What the hell, kid. I thought you said it hurt!”

“Ow.” Dipper’s stomach jumps at another poke. He smacks Bill’s hand away. “It does, alright? Quit poking.”

Bill doesn’t seem impressed. His fingers trail over the larger, older scar on Dipper’s left side, then glares at Dipper’s stomach like it’s insulted him. A beat, then - “You don’t usually complain.”

“I-” Okay, true. Dipper glares anyway. “Shut up.”

He doesn’t complain because it’s the only option. For all that Bill whines and teases and taunts Dipper, all the time, about being some ‘fragile mortal meatsack’, already rotting before his eyes, he really doesn’t like it when it’s brought forcefully to his attention.

God, he shouldn't have said anything. Ninety-five percent of the time, there isn’t any harm to mention. But when Dipper does ends up showing he is kind of… mortal, and it’s small, he just. Doesn’t bring it up. For all that they bicker all the time, he doesn’t like to make Bill upset.

Bill grunts, mouth turned down at the corners. He stands up quickly, folding his arms. His lip curls up in a sneer. “If you wanted attention, kid, there are way better ways to-”

Oh, fuck that. Dipper flips him off, and starts storming off.

God, this is stupid. Whenever Dipper ever breaks a bone or something, he gets teased about being so weak and vulnerable. Which he is, but neither of them like the reminder.

These days, it also comes with some weirdly maybe-sincere ‘kiss it better’ thing that Dipper then has to disinfect. A lot of hovering, and rambling commentary. Sometimes creative descriptions of how much worse it could have been, and Dipper never needed those, at any time. Bill gets oddly fixated on such random little moments, and it’s just -

Dipper doesn’t like it, is all. Bill gets the way he gets, it’s a lot, and it’s easier just to avoid it. If he were a different guy - a human guy, or even mostly-human monster- Dipper might try to talk to him about it.

But Bill’s a demon. Not normal, barely sane even on his best days, and worse, he’s Bill, so. That conversation would go precisely nowhere.

Behind him, he hears said demon approaching, fast. Stupid jerk. He should be as tall as his real form. That’d be fair. More accurate, too, and then Dipper could properly stomp off without Bill catching up so easily.

Already the bastard is by Dipper’s side. A tall, irritating presence. Hovering close without grabbing on, which adds to said irritation.

Dipper leans away, but Bill catches him around the waist and drags him in.

“Don’t get so grumpy, sapling, you’re fine! A little nick in the outer layer rarely killed anyone since they invented antibiotics.” Though he pinches Dipper’s cheek, he yanks his head away with a grunt. Bill sighs. “Everything’s a-okay here! Looks like I don't have to find a replacement just yet.”

Bill’s an idiot. Dipper scoffs, though an unpleasant feeling crawls in his gut. “Oh yeah? Who would you replace me with?”

“Eh, not like I got anyone specific in mind.” Bill waves that off, nonchalant. “But I have options! Lots of options.” He bumps a hip against Dipper. “Keep that in mind before you go charging off into obvious traps.”

This goddamn liar. Dipper elbows him in the side, because the asshole deserves it.

Not that Dipper’s worried, or anything. From what little he’s heard of Bill’s exes in the demonic rumor mill - Bill’s been, as they say, less than successful. Already Dipper’s outstripped his longest by years.. Bill can lie day in and day out about his options, put on a brave face - but they both know he’s not going to find this again. Not easily.

“Good luck finding another husband, asshole.” Dipper says with appropriate derision. It’s annoying that Bill even brought it up. There’s a good riposte in there, somewhere - but while his brain is coming up with an insult, his mouth runs on automatic. “But I was really worried that you would last week. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day until you sent a dick pic. It was weirdly comforting.”

Bill turns toward him with genuine surprise. He even blinks a few times, no retort emerging, and Dipper looks back at him with equal surprise.

Until his mind catches up with what he just said.

Dipper digs his heels in the ground, slamming to a halt. Clapping both hands to his mouth, eyes wide.

Beside him Bill nearly trips at the sudden stop, flailing for balance with a swear.

Shit, shit shit. Dipper really didn’t mean to say that. He knows Bill’s not looking around, that he’s not interested. Cynically, that he couldn’t manage it if he was. Last week was just a one-off anxiety, like all the others Dipper’s brain comes up with when it gets too much free time. Totally irrational, and really hard to stop fixating on.

Bill keeps staring. Not angry, just confused, for long enough that Dipper wants to shrink into the ground and melt into nothingness.

Then he asks, “What the hell, Pine Tree?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know why I thought that. I don’t know why I said that.” Dipper cringes into himself, grimacing and ducking his head. He runs a hand over his slightly sweaty face. “I didn't even want you to know I got hurt.”

At that, Bill snorts. “Oh, please. I’d have seen that first time I got your shirt off. You can’t keep secrets from me!”

Dipper folds his arms, internally seething - and his stupid mouth moves to say, “I’ve done it before.”

This time, the silence is tense.

Dipper wipes his sweating forehead again, not daring to meet Bill’s eye. God he shouldn't have -

Before he can think, he blurts out, “I think something’s wrong.”

“Probably!” Bill agrees, with a smile just a little too sharp. He takes Dipper’s face in both hands, eye narrowed. “Hold still a sec.”

As Bill’s eye flickers blue, and the magic between them surges - Dipper squirms a bit, but. Well. If anything’s wrong with him - magically, anyway - Bill’s the best one to diagnose it..

Bill tilts his head to one side, then the other. After a moment, his mouth twists up into something unpleasant, eye glowing slightly brighter for an instant.

Then he sighs, and lets Dipper go. His expression is neutral, except for the slightest downturn of his mouth. His lips part like he’s about to speak, then twist up into a grimace.

Uh oh.

Whatever Bill saw, he didn’t like it.

“What?” Dipper pats his head, then his chest. If there was something weird, magically about him, he - wouldn’t be able to tell, actually. He’s too close to get a good look. Oh god, what if he did hit his head too hard, and something in his brain is bleeding, or worse. “Wait. Am I dying?”

“Worse! You’re telling the truth.” Bill claps his hands together. Though he’s smiling again, it’s brittle and annoyed. “Don’t suppose you know any curse breakers that aren’t your great-uncle?”

“Not really,” Dipper admits. Bill's words catch up to him, and he bites his lip. Then, because the situation deserves it, “Fuck.”

Protection curse. The tablet.

Damn it.

A part of a horde, from a long time ago. Messed with. It should have been something less awful. Like warts, or sprouting plants from his skin, or a big fireball. Pretty much anything else would be less awful.

Truth curses are rare, they’re difficult as hell - but judging by the words spilling out of Dipper, he’s caught a pretty strong variant.

Of all the curses that could hit him. Why this one.

Hell, maybe it’s intended to be the worst curse possible for the ‘thief’. That would explain how targeted this feels.

And knowing Dipper’s luck, that part was explained on, like, the back of the tablet.

“Welp! Good thing I’m not short on contacts, kid.” Bill grapes his shoulder, shaking him a bit, before he trails an arm over Dipper’s shoulders. “Who wants some fumbling idiot uncle to fix this kinda spell, anyway?”

Dipper would! If it was feasible. He makes a brief attempt at shrugging Bill’s arm up before letting his shoulders slump.

The idea of Ford hearing about this is….

Dipper sucks in a breath through his teeth.

Ford really would have a way around this. He'd certainly have the best intentions, Dipper’s certain. He'd...

Also not have the best sense of boundaries.

Though he'd be doing it for the right reasons, he'd ask the wrong questions. Out of concern, and arguably valid worry; he's never fully believed that Bill can't influence him. Despite how many times Dipper’s tried to explain it to him, Ford just can’t wrap his mind around certain truths.

With this curse, though. Between poor social sense, the Pines curiosity, and what Dipper might blurt out, while compelled to answer -

On this, Dipper agrees with Bill. They’ll have to find something else to break this.

In the meantime, he’ll manage, like he has all the other times his life has sucked. Hardly the worst case scenario. If Bill had been cursed - someone who lies like he breathes - Who knows? Give it a few days, and he might just explode from all the backed up bullshit.

“Wait.” A horrible thought strikes. Dipper reels on his husband, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”

“What, me? I’m a perfectly moral human man,” Bill says, resting a hand on his chest, lifting his chin with pride. “A boring sentient mammal who’s never found curses entertaining.”

Yep, Bill’s fine. As always, it’s Dipper who gets the short end of the stick.

He breathes in slowly, and lets it out.

Yeah. Still sucks. He’ll deal. Cursed, but not dead. In danger, but not the worst - and his husband’s being annoying, which means he’s perfectly fine. There’s a solution too - it’s just going to be a huge, annoying process getting to it.

“So,” Bill says, slowly. Drawing the word out in a long string, while he finger-walks his arm up around Dipper’s shoulder.

Uh oh.

Speaking of annoying…

“Watch it,” Dipper hunches his shoulders, not daring to look his idiot husband in the eye. “You’re this close to sleeping on the couch for a month.” Not a big enough threat, Bill’s still thinking- “Or for a year.”

“Oh, sure,” Bill says, in a distracted tone. His fingers pause on their walk, one ‘leg’ poised on Dipper’s clavicle. They hold the position for a long moment, tapping out a little marching step - and seconds later, his palm slaps down on Dipper’s shoulder. “So, Pine Tree! How do you feel about this ‘Bill Cipher’ guy?”

Though Dipper resists, and he really tries to, the words slip out past his teeth, his lips form the sounds -

“I love you.” God. Damnit. He clenches his fists, as Bill’s sheer smugness radiates from him like heat. “And I’m thinking about shoving you off a cliff right now.”

When Bill paused, Dipper thought he might have fended this off. Wishful thinking, really, Bill’s almost impossible to stop. Dipper used what leverage he had, but all he’s managed to avoid are the worst, most invasive questions.

When it comes to Bill, that’s pretty close to a win.

Not that it’s going to feel like one.

Bill has, in fact, been encouraged. Now that he’s heard something he likes, he leans in like a weird creep. Dipper can practically hear the leer in his voice. “And on a scale of one to ten, how handsome am I?

“Ten point five,” Dipper needs to loosen his jaw or he might break a filling. Being pumped for information is bad enough without pumping up Bill’s already ridiculous ego. “You bastard.”

Bill’s chest puffs out, there’s a strut in his stride. The grin is so wide now Dipper’s pretty sure it should hurt- and if he dares to pucker up, he’s not getting lips on his awful face. “And am I the most clever and sexually amazing guy in the universe or what?

This time, Dipper snorts.

“Definitely not.” He ignores the sharp, indignant sound next to him, tilting his head in thought. “For one, there’s succubi and incubi, so. Sexually, you’re not even on top amongst demons.” He glances over at the offended ‘o’ of Bill’s mouth. “And I know you’re not the most clever, because I win our debates nearly half the time. Maybe you’re up there, but not the most. And that’s just the surface level stuff.”

Dipper doesn’t have a complete cosmological view of the multiverse, but he has learned a lot. Mostly stuff he picked up from his husband, and demonic gossip. It’s absolutely enough to go on a long, long ramble about how Bill most likely doesn’t rank number one in anything. If Dipper avoids the topics where he actually is.

He’s barely fifteen seconds in before Bill starts scowling, with a grumpy hunch to his shoulders - But screw him.

Dipper starts smiling, just a bit. Then, to be a dick, he adds,

“The ten and a half is just me, anyway. To the average human, you’re maybe an eight..” Dipper continues, over another spluttered protest. Again, true; not everyone likes the slightly inhuman maniac cyclops look. “Six with your personality.”

Bill groans. “Ugh, you pedant.” He squeezes Dipper’s shoulder, jostling him slightly. “C’mon, you know what I meant! What’s the real - “

“Don’t ask questions if you can’t handle the answers,” Dipper warns, jabbing Bill in the chest. So far it hasn’t been too much, but it could be. Time to draw a line. “I will suck so much fun out of this for you.”

Bill Cipher, unintentional teacher once more. Now Dipper knows the curse isn’t about perfect truth. When he can deliberately misinterpret a question’s intent, and can go on tangents - that means he has loopholes. There might even be more, if he tries.

And if they can’t get this settled soon, he’ll need every one of those he can find.

“Clever brat.” Bill’s frowning, but he can’t disguise the amusement in his voice. His eyebrows wiggle, his arm hauling him close - "Go ahead, then. Anything else you wanna share?"

"I know two and half ways to kill you, Bill Cipher." Dipper gets right up in his face. He won’t let Bill push this any further. "Don't tempt me to use them."

Being face to face like this, Dipper watches Bill’s eye go wide - ha, didn’t expect that, did he. With that threat, he’ll -

Start cackling. And weirdly, turn a little pink. Dipper feels all the momentum he had whoosh out of him like sad balloon animal.

“Boy, you are a saucy one!” Bill whistles, low. He places his hands demurely on his cheeks, fluttering his eye at Dipper with amusement. “Oh, yeah. Talk deadly to me.”

By this time, Dipper figures he should be used to stumbling into demonic flirtation. Only it turns out it’s basically fractal in nature, and he keeps running into new and newer edge cases.

“Fun as this is - we gotta get you cleared up, and no time like the present!” Bill’s calmed down enough to scoop an arm around his waist, leading Dipper onward. “Can’t have you babbling everything to everyone, y’know?”

“What, you don’t want me telling you everything?” Total bullshit. Dipper elbows him in the side. “I thought you wanted to get in my head.”

“Hey! I didn’t ask for our game to be set on ‘beginner’ mode. That’s boring.” Bill flicks his fingers - but he’s got his ‘evading questions’ look on. “You’re lucky I’m so- oof.”

Another elbow, harder this time. Bill grunts, but capitulates. Rubbing at his eye briefly, he sighs.

“So! How many of my secrets would you say you know, Pine Tree?” Bill tightens his grip on Dipper’s waist, tugging him closer. “And I’m talking about the ones that I wouldn’t enjoy getting out in the world.”

“More than I can count.” Dipper says without thinking. Then, with thinking - “Oh.”

Dipper hadn’t considered how much Bill’s taught him, before this exact moment. How much he’s learned. Even unintentionally. Especially unintentionally.

Crap, even his threat before was kind of -

Shit. There’s definitely, absolutely, no way can they go to Ford about this. Total recipe for disaster.

“See? We both got liabilities in play here.” Bill moves easily as Dipper picks up the pace. If anything he’s amused, and not feeling nearly as urgent. Another reason he’s an idiot. “All we gotta do is get you patched up quick, and no more loose lips sinking ships! Easy-peasy.”

“It better be,” Dipper mutters. Nothing ever goes right for him. And by extension, them.

“Trust me, kid! I got this handled!” Bill snaps his fingers - and smacks Dipper’s butt with a wink. “I know some guys!”

#answers #Not my best work but I haven't posted in a while so here's a thing!#I will get better at writing I swear #There are references to the whump fic in this just so you know #It is canon that Dipper didn't die but the how and the aftermath are for the sequel #Anyway whump sequel is going decent and I have some ideas for other stuff #Don't worry Dipper Ford wouldn't even think to ask you the questions you're worried about #He assumes that Bill would never ever let you know those facts #And technically Bill never told Dipper either of those two and a half ways but you learn a lot from being married for a few years #I don't have any more interesting tag facts other than that don't expect a timely sequel to this because I have so much stuff to complete #I hope it's at least fun to read!

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luna-lovegreat · 3 days

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Legend sick fics you say 👀

Well I don’t think I remember too many sick fics off the top of my head but weathered and wavering by Quirkle is very good.

Once you have a collection please do share with the class 🫶

Hehe yeah. Here is the original post about Legend sick fics. I got a lot of recommendations in the replies and reblogs that are so cool- seriously I read a ton of them and you guys are so awesome (/gen)

@uniquevoidflowers wrote this fic for me which is amazing of course- it has some of the coolest imagery with a flower thermometer which makes me very happy

Pretty much all of @skyward-floored 's sick fics are awesome, including this legend one that was instantly recommended to me by quite a lot of people lol (since it was posted very recently) (go read it)

Fill the cracks with gold by @sister-dear was so fun to read, it might be one of my favourites for Four

I loved Hiding behind plaster and ceramics by @occasionallyprosie -it had a lot of takes I hadn't seen before and was also very good writing

@arecaceae175 recommended down, a nine chapter sickfic that is really good, I loved reading it.

There's a lot of other ones, and most of them are in the notes of the post I made:

@the-au-collector made this reblog with a ton of good recommendations, and @hero-of-the-wolf reblogged with one I liked. Idk if the links can work like that but we'll find out

And my wisdom tooth surgery went well :D I've stayed off the internet for a bit of recovery. I'm good I'm just not doing too much interacting when I'm tired *shrug*. I was scared because my health is always so bad but it was ok. :))) I have definitely spent a lot of time reading- I knew it was a good idea to ask for sick fics for surgery week XD

So that's the lovely list of sick fics I've been reading- for when you get your wisdom teeth out. Or you're not feeling well, or you just feel like reading. Anyways.

Also my mind is still pretty tired right now but I wanted to answer this- I hope it's ok for everyone I tagged, and my phrasing and language isn't good right now, sorry. Love you guys /plat <333

#asks #personal #Lu fic #??#I'm not sure what to tag #linked universe #linkeduniverse #yeah cause it's uhh yeah #Lu legend #I've never done fic recommendations before so uhh I just kind of copied other formats after asking my friend for help #I also have barely done links! which is fine! ig. I don't know how those links with the reblogs will have worked so...#let me know if something doesn't work :)#(...I also didn't edit this much so I'm worried about how my words came across also my mind is still bleh because face surgery)#also like a huge fear is getting something wrong? like linking the wrong fic or @ing the wrong person so if I messed up sorry #<3333 #god I love you guys so much #I wasn't expecting that much response but yall came through #who needs actual food not just soft foods when there's fanfic to devour am I right #but really yall are so awesome I could explode fifjfficikcif #twas a wonderful collection of sick fics #and I hope it's ok for everyone I tagged... and I still have so many others I love that's just what I read this week #yeah my mind is not thinking well so I'm going off the internet now #okie bye

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tenjikubaby · 2 years

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many fluffy thoughts about ran haitani for your comfort and mine

girl help, i-i- *vomits ran fluff onto your dash*

What’s it like having Ran as your partner? Gender-neutral HCs

Ran doesn’t fall so easily but when he does, you’ll have yourself a doting, caring partner who loves to pamper you.

➼ Ran would want you to look your best, and not only so you’d look good standing next to him! (lol) Because he loves you, he’d want you to feel confident in the way you look. He might take you to his regular salon, offer style advice, or even introduce you to a skincare or haircare routine if you don’t already have one. Before you go out into the streets together, he’d tell you how good you look and remind you to keep your chin up. After all, someone like you, who managed to steal his heart, should stand proud.

➼ I think he’ll be the type to wipe the corner of your mouth if you missed a stain on it, fix your hair if a strand is out of place, smooth down your clothes, fix your collar or tie if it’s askew, etc. (He definitely used to do this to Rindou)

➼ He thinks about you a lot so that when he finds an outfit from a magazine that would look great on you, or smells a perfume that screams “you” to him, he’d want to show you! All he needs is the slightest sign of approval–-maybe your face brightening up? Perhaps a small smile? Maybe you looked at it for more than ten seconds? Before you know it, he’s already bought it for you.

➼ Shopping with Ran, huh? This gives you the privilege of seeing him try on clothes! He’ll ask you what you think, or to pick out stuff you’d like to see him wearing. Of course, he’d want to buy clothes for you too. If you ever had the experience of your mom making you come back to the fitting room again and again because she found some great clothes for you, here it is again! Except it’s not your mom anymore but your partner.

➼ If you’re not well-off, Ran would spoil you to death. He’d want you to experience all the luxuries that he and his brother do. You get to have your dates at fancy fine-dining restaurants. You receive only the most expensive chocolates. Your wardrobe is slowly filling up with designer clothing. He would give you the world as long as you stay with him.

➼ Relaxing with Ran is always a treat. Imagine being pampered by Ran in his room: he is softly humming as he covers your face in an expensive mask. Him brushing or massaging oils into your hair. His touches are so gentle, and it makes you sleepy. All while doing these, a perfectly serene smile is on his face. (He rarely ever gets to do this on Rindou, so he is happy to have you.)

➼ There are days when you both just want to chill on their balcony wearing bathrobes, sipping wine (or any drink of your choice) out of fancy glasses. Your usual topics of conversation are celebrities, fashion, art, and maybe even philosophy! Ran is interested in hearing your opinions on different topics as well as sharing his own. If anyone tries to disturb your time together, they will face Ran’s wrath. His time with you is precious!

➼ Ran would be the #1 reason you’re late to anything because his bed is just so comfy, he’s so comfy, and honestly, how could you leave that pretty sleeping princess behind? If he wakes up to you leaving the bed, he will try to pull you back in. He’ll say “5 more minutes” while wrapping himself tighter around you.

➼ As his partner, you must laugh at his dad jokes. He loves puns, so come up with some of your own, won't you? Aside from dad jokes, his humor can be outdated. He’s the type of person who’d use a 2016 meme in 2020. Sometimes, you or Rindou need to explain certain memes or trends to him. It’s cute. He’s cute.

➼ To Rindou, you are a godsend. With you around, his brother is less of a killjoy (his words). He can party just a bit longer and be as loud with his friends as he wants. If he’s lucky, you manage to get his brother out of the house for maybe a night or two. It’s also fun for him to see his brother go so soft with you.

➼ Ran is anxious whenever you hang out with people he doesn't know. He would want to meet your friends, and if any of them feel off to him, he would tell you. (His intuition is pretty good, after all). He won't ask you to stop hanging out with them but will remind you to be cautious. It's not out of possessiveness but worry about your safety. Your boyfriend, after all, rules Roppongi. People are always out to exploit his weaknesses.

➼ If you somehow piss him off, you have to wait for him to come to you. If for example, you’re spending the night at their residence, you have to stay on the couch before he allows you back in his room. In the middle of the night, you might feel yourself being gently shaken awake by Ran (it’s a bit scary because his hair-covered face is the first thing you see) who wants to invite you back into his room. You’re forgiven.

➼ If he’s pissed you off, he’d also stay away for a while. Sooner or later, he’ll take out a cake or tub of ice cream with two spoons and sit with you so you can share it. If he sees you busy working on something, he’ll approach with a mug of a hot drink he prepared for you and a snack before sitting beside you. The apology comes after a long moment of silence, and things are okay again. Humbling himself and saying sorry was hard for him at first, but it got easier because he loves you.

#ran haitani #tokyo revengers headcanons #tenjikubaby #tokyo revengers x reader #ran haitani x reader #i'm so down bad 4 him #he's my girl he's my princess u don't understand #there will be more of these btw #i'll be boyfriendifying all of s62 no one is safe #rindou is next #i might do izana last #i need a lot of time for The Worst Boyfriend #dw it's gonna be fluffy too #he's not exempted from fluff vomit #are you reading the tags hello #hope you're having a nice day #why am i so nervous about posting this #bye i'm logging off for a while and letting this sit

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eijiroukiriot · 11 months

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it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"

Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!

Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?

Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!

(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)

M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"

K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!

M: Oh, with Kacchan?

K: Yep!

M: He sure does like hiking.

Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!

Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it

M: What'd you two eat?

K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?

M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!

Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!

K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-

M: UH- um-

K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...

M: Ohhhh my goddddddd

Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"

#kiribaku #tododeku #translation #bnha #this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute #i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags #good on ya tumblr stuff #this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the #meaning across!!#to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store #they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi #my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking #but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack!#crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff #anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep #i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley #ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me #but those guys still have an apartment in my brain #hope you guys are doing well!!

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caspersickfanfics · 2 months

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Some very novice fanart of Here for You by @aeryssickfics, which I simply cannot recommend enough!!! I've already lost count of how many times I've read it. There's something about Tighnari's vulnerability in that fic which I absolutely love!!

Took some liberties with his hand and feet anatomy because I couldn't be bothered to figure out if canon has anything to say about that. Also, I just want him to have claws, so that he can use them if he needs to :) And I put him in a comfy shirt because I could not possibly have pulled off his usual outfit because he deserves it =v=

Non-textured version under the cut for those who prefer a smoother look!

#cas scribbles #tw vomit #tw emeto #sick tighnari #tighnari genshin impact #this was meant as a gift but i had issues with sending it via ask so!! i hope this is okay!#i am. trying to let go of all of the critiques i still have of this piece #i realize i'm much better at writing than art!! and yet i have more fun with art #i didn't use references for this (clearly 💀) so. don't look to close?? lmao #whatever the most important part was making his tail look fluffy!! which i think it does =v=#anyway i'm procrastinating posting this but my internet just went out 3x in a row so #here goes #if you've read all of my anxious talking-to-myself-tags this is for you ----------- > <3

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hellolulu · 1 year

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The anime made the telepathy arc more about the aliens haha funny anime girls than it did about what the arc represents and I'm still sad about it! I didn't post about it until now because I'm sad! Especially because the animation was quite beautiful!

The point of this small arc is to show that Shigeo has made peace with himself. Both as a person, by genuinely exhausting himself to help the friends he loves - putting all that effort in and continuously choosing to keep going, even when Tome is saying she doesn't want to and everyone is tired. And as an esper, freely using his powers to do something that could be regarded as useless, silly, or maybe even a touch playful; which he hasn't done since he was a child. He has only ever used it when told to, ever since the accident with Ritsu. And remember, during the last season, he was having an extremely hard time being stuck between his esper half, and his human half. It's incredible progress!! Seeing him able to combine both sides of himself in front of others, knowing he's accepted by these people?! That's crazy! I'm so proud of him!! He's grown!!

And this arc is also about him connecting with the other important part of himself (and of all of us), too: the truth of your heart.

Tome disbanding the club, leaving so quietly and dejectedly because she realises that all this time they hadn't taken her seriously. The club members being genuinely upset about it because they love her and didn't realise that she was that serious.

Takenaka being amazed by the truth in Shigeo's heart (a straightforward person who doesn't like to lie or put up false pretenses, which is rarer than you'd think, genuinely wanting to help his friend by doing something crazy like communicating with aliens) and choosing to join them because he had actually wanted to meet others like him, and because he felt like his power could be used for the sake of good for once (as he had used it when he was a child). Because he was moved by Shigeo's honest heart.

Reigen complaining that he has to babysit a bunch of kids, when in reality he knows he's spending time with people he loves and is just a little happy about it. Serizawa being genuinely upset that he can't join Reigen for drinks, worrying about him, until he knows Reigen will be with someone he cares about at the turn of the year (btw this is quite funny to me, because any typical person would go hey I'm sure my classmates wouldn't mind if I invited a friend along to drinks! We're all adults after all! Do you want to join? I can ask :D but he's autism honour bound and doesn't realise he can probably bring anyone, and Reigen's self confidence is too low to invite himself smh)

Tome crying because she was so frustrated that they only started to care when things were about to end, but knowing the truth in her own heart being that she, too, wanted to stay - so she showed up to go with them even though it hurt. Only to learn that even though they hadn't thought she was serious, they put this plan together because they do care. Because the truth is they value their friendship with her as much as she values them, and they want to make an effort to prove that.

Takenaka then putting in even more effort than he had expected to, because he realises he had let his hurt feelings (loneliness) get in the way of the type of friendships Shigeo had formed. The type of friendships he had yearned for all along. He'd even stayed awake that whole night prior, studying and memorising and taking notes, because he wanted things to go well, because these people could be onto something deeper than he'd thought friendships could be. Because the truth is he wanted to take part in something like that, too.

And Shigeo, in this arc, despite pushing himself to exhaustion, is doing it for the sake of love. For his friends. We've seen him exhaust himself before; after big fights and overwhelming moments, he becomes tired and exhausted to the point of collapsing or passing out. But here it's different - he's doing it for the sake of those he cares about. He wants to see Tome happy because she's a very dear friend to him, he wants to enjoy a day out with his group of friends that he just happened to become close to over the year, and he wants to show them how much they mean to him right now; and he wants to see Takenaka open up to others and learn that sometimes friendships are formed out of things that you don't have in common. Out of the things you learn from each other. (The mortifying ordeal of being known, if you will.)

Because what matters is the truth in your heart, that you care about your friends, that you want to be there for them, to push yourself for them, and that you know they'd do the same for you. That maybe they already have. That's the point of the arc. (That's what the point of the arc is.)

The aliens section in the manga touched on it too, in a "we were able to communicate because of a common understanding of each other, despite being unable to verbally communicate, and I was able to return home" and not.. whatever that was in the anime.

#this arc is extremely important #and there were parts of the episodes that were so beautiful and emotional #but the aliens part man #inukawa was like drugged and used and man the dude's a KID #but yk Moving Swiftly On #this arc is a very beautiful demonstration of everyone seeing their true selves and letting that truth be known #the truth in their hearts #ritsu's heart truth was that he wished to be more like the twins with shigeo instead of elder and younger brother #but you'll only know this if you read my tags so if you're here HI #i hope you don't mind that I write nicely but am also an idiot who adds asides and !!! everywhere #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 analysis #mp100 spoilers #takenaka #tome #mp100 tome #shigeo #mob #mp100 mob #lulu on the mic #reigen #telepathy arc #idk what to tag do I tag everyone I mentioned ew #I'm giving up here

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quirkle2 · 2 months

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oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)

- 🪻

aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]

and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,

she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them

mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic

watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that

most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose

thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"

mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing

his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7

they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse

#qktalks #anon #zombie au #this isn't the first time ritsu has had to kill a zombie btw ^#this is just the first time he's had to kill one since he started seeing zombies in a different light #it was either letting his brother die or killing a zombie. ritsu's upset that he had to make that decision at all #but he's not afraid to say that the decision was incredibly easy to make #it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes #ritsu checked tome over after they took care of mob too. tome's very surprised when he's rly gentle abt it #ritsu's been known to .. lose his head a little in moments of stress #and sometimes he snaps at tome bc of it. he never means to he's just..worked up #but this time he's kinda fretting over her and it opens her eyes a little bit #ritsu has indeed grown to care abt tome a lot. they bicker Most of the time but it's usually not very serious #in all the excitement tome just hadn't rly realized that until now. ritsu is so high-strung that it's hard to get a read on his softer side #but now he's not just directing his softer side to his brother‚ but to tome as well #i have 15 more tags to explain smth i wanna make clear btw let's hope i don't start rambling abt smth else entirely #so i've been using a lot of vocabulary in these au posts that hint toward mob being ''special'' or ''abnormal'' in his behavior #he is not special or abnormal in any way #Every zombie is like that. every zombie has a personality‚ and a gentler demeanor hidden behind that desperate starvation #and remnants of their past selves in there somewhere #mob is simply one of the only zombies that have been taken in and cared for and treated like a sick person rather than a monster #as i've said before most people just.. either run away or shoot them between the eyes when crossing paths with a zombie #they don't give any of them a Chance. mob is a very very lucky zombie.#he is healthier than most other zombies and he is treated far better #and the way ritsu constantly talks to him is actually great for his health ! gets those rusty gears in his head rollin #exercises that brain‚ even if‚ to ritsu‚ he's only responding in odd gibberish #that's only one of the things ritsu gives him that other zombies never receive in their lifetimes #i'd say mob prolly ? has one of the longest ''zombie lifespans''#most zombies either die of starvation‚ dehydration‚ or sleep deprivation within a few weeks #he's lived a long zombie life !

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zhongrin · 2 years

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◇ tags ◇ purely self-indulgent, "me" / "i" used instead of "you" (very different than my usual format), not "x reader", selfship (zhongli), long post

◇ a/n ◇ this is a submission for the selfship collab hosted by @suyacho and @albedxs! when i tell you purely self-indulgent, i really mean it. be respectful and dni if you're not into selfshipping!

ps. fellow selfshippers, feel free to take this format and make your own if you want ❤️

pps. this was so much fun to write yall lsdklfjsdlf

❦ 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 ❦

mutual pining (our friends are facepalming at our obvious adoration to each other and are praying to rex lapis lmao to hitch us up already jokes on them now we can’t shut up about each other)

enthusiastic protective simp gf x calm bf

“i-will-kill-you-if-you-hurt-him” (actually can't, at most will just nibble you) gf x “murder-is-bad-dear” (but can actually kill you) bf

the married couple who will forever act like a newlywed couple

❦ 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 ❦

★ say you won’t let go | james arthur

I'm so in love with you / And I hope you know Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold We've come so far, my dear / Look how we've grown And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old Just say you won't let go / Just say you won't let go

tenerife sea | ed sheeran

Should this be the last thing I see / I want you to know it's enough for me 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need I'm so in love So in love / So in love / So in love, love, love, love / So in love

shinpakusuu #0822 | cover: soraru

[EN Translation] You know, every minute / My heart shouts "I'm living" 70 times But when I'm with you, it's in just a little hurry / And shouts "I love you" 110 times As long as my heart is still beating, I want to protect you / That's enough of a reason for me to live As we bring our feelings together, over and over again / We will understand each other a little more

baik baik sayang | wali

[EN Translation] I ask only one thing / For you, for your life Be well, my love / I'm here for you I ask only one thing / In your days and nights Be well, my love / Because I'm here for you

★ 月亮代表我的心 | teresa teng

[EN Translation] You ask how deeply I love you / And just how great my love is Consider this / And look above The moon represents my heart

★ (reincarnation!au) a thousand years | christina perri

And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years / I'll love you for a thousand more

★ (yandere!au) blood sweat & tears | bts

[EN Translation] It doesn't matter if it hurts / Tie me up so I can't escape Hold me tight and shake me up / So that I can't come to my senses Kiss me on the lips / A secret just between the two of us / Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew / The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway

golden hour | JVKE (ty hoshi ily sjdlfjsldf)

For the love of my life / She's got glow on her face / A glorious look in her eyes / My angel of light

❦ 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ❦

mei → zhongli ⟐ ★ xiànɡ ɡonɡ / hubby, ★ lónglí (mashing character for dragon + last character of his name), li, 'yang, darling, dear, ★ love

zhongli → mei ⟐ ★ lǎo pó / wife, tiánxīn, nik, meimei (a common nickname for a girlfriend but also a play on my name), ★ darling, ★ dear, ★ love

❦ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ❦

┗━━┫⦀⦙ 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘶 ━━━━

we love taking long walks along the plains / shores of liyue + talking over tea (or sometimes coffee for me)

i buy rex lapis merchandise just to spite him (he is secretly embarrassed but endeared)

i can't cook to save my life so i refrain from stepping in the kitchen unless zhongli is cooking (it's not that i burn down the kitchen or anything but everything i make just tastes…. bad ;;)

i collect lots of accessories and jewelry. they go missing sometimes, and i just know to go to zhongli for it because it's probably his dragon-hoarding instinct flaring up again (he has a special drawer where he keeps his little stash, it's adorable)

zhongli is big spoon 95% of the time, but on the rare 5% where i get to coddle him i will suddenly have no work and urgent responsibilities. no regrets 🤞🏻

when he has a day off but i don’t, i go to work with him in his littol dragon form wrapped around my neck. makes a very warm scarf if i do say so myself.

”is that a dragon-” “it’s a scarf.” “it’s yawning.” “it’s a scarf :)”

zhongli is always, always there whenever i have to take off my glasses for some reason, because he knows i’m blind as a bat without them. the first time this happened, i was waving my hand around trying to make sure i don’t bump to any glass panels and stuff - he completely misunderstood and thought i wanted to hold hands, so he gently linked our fingers together. and we just. stared at each other.

“i-uh-i just-i can’t see very well right now.” “…. ah.” “BUT IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN’T HOLD HANDS OR ANYTHING!!! i mean. you can be my eyes and guide me… if you want to…” “of course, darling. i don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

tldr; since then, whenever i’m missing my glasses he would automatically guide my hand to grab onto his arm.

whenever we eat, if i forget to bring my hairclips/scrunchies, zhongli lends me his hairclip. this is a secret but i purposefully forget them sometimes because the sight of this man with his hair down? and the way he elegantly eats despite the inconvenience? it’s a sight to behold.

“mei? is something wrong with your food? you haven’t touched it for a while now.” “h-huh. wha? oh. r-right.”

at first, i was constantly hissing and snarling at childe for threatening the very thing zhongli treasures most… but after what has been said and done, we slowly began to get along, and now zhongli has to deal with the headache of a fatui harbinger enabling me and my chaotic tendencies. welp.

“dear, why are there bags of catnips on our doorstep? they seem to have been sent by…. the northland bank?” “oh, don’t you mind that! aaaanyway, mind transforming into your dragon form? i want to test something~”

on the rare occasion when zhongli isn’t home and i’m too sleepy to wait for him, i would take out the humongous rex lapis dragon plushie from the closet to cuddle and surround myself with the smaller version of them so i can fall asleep. but they always mysteriously return back to the closet when morning rolls around, and i find myself cuddling the real rex lapis himself. hmm. how curious 🤔

zhongli always scolds me for being too lazy to make the bed in the morning.

“tapi 'yang…. it’s just going to get messy again at night!” “my love, do you not fold your laundries after they’re dry?” “… that’s different.” “it is not. come now, i will help you.”

on the other hand, i always nag him for buying too many tea leaves. his collection is starting to flood into my coffee cabinet and it is driving me nuts.

he gives me forehead and hand kisses, i give him jaw (if he refuses to lean down) and nose (when i catch him leaning down) kisses. it’s a fair exchange!

he might be the dragon but i’m the one getting more head pats, chin scratches, and back scratches on average (he jokingly asks me from time to time if i’m secretly a dog and i always answer him with an uncanny bark that could pass for a real dog).

doing haircare for zhongli is a normal evening routine for me. i’m clumsy with my hands but he will keep the braid until morning comes (where it inevitably loosens - and he always looks a little sad about it), no matter how messy it looks. in exchange, he helps me with drying my thick mane of a hair because he knows my arms would always get sore if i try to dry them by myself.

zhongli knows about my terrible social anxiety when it comes to strangers, so he takes the lead in almost every social interaction involving those i’m not close with. but when it comes to people i’m comfortable with? he just sits back and watches as i gush and zoom around like an overexcited pomeranian.

man knows his voice turns me into a puddle and will resort to using it to get me to stop procrastinating. it works a little too well.

┗━━┫⦀⦙ 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘶 ━━━━

zhongli will always come for me to help with any technology he’s having trouble with. 98% of the time i will help him but there are just some times when i just. don’t.

“meimei, could you help, childe keeps telling me to install this application called tik tok-” “no.”

since i work from home and my schedule is pretty lax, i do most of the chores and would visit his office from time to time, bringing lunches and snacks and coffee. the security guards and receptionists are my best friends at this point.

candlelit dinners are a must at least once a week. zhongli gets two glasses of wine (since it’s most probably a course meal set) while i order something lame like a virgin mojito - either way, he always always makes sure i don’t have to drink alcohol because 1) he knows i loathe the taste of it, and 2) he doesn’t want the date to end early because i fell asleep onto my food (happened once at the beginning of our relationship, never again)

he has absolutely zero ideas about video games and coding but will always listen to me fangirling about the latest installment of the series or the little side project i’m working on. additionally, i have zero ideas about stonks and business managements but i will always listen whenever he muses and brainstorms about it out loud over his morning/evening tea.

zhongli took a video of me talking to my "duck" (which is a hedgehog) one time while i was working and could not understand why i got so embarrassed and angry.

“but you save videos of me attending conferences and seminars. is it not unfair of you to deny me the sight of my wife hard at work?” “you look immaculate in full decked-suit or semi-formal wear in all those videos! look at me! i look like a cat who’s just returned from outside and got drenched in a downpour!!” “a very adorable kitten nonetheless.” “don't try to sweet talk your way out of this!!” “is it working?” “.............. yes.” “:)” “you've been hanging out with that blue-haired ceo friend of yours too much-”

he indulges in my hyperfixations a little too much.

“you’re interested in experimenting with your makeup? i see. of course you can buy all the eyeshadow palettes you want, tiánxīn.” “you said you were interested in this company’s tea leaves, yes? i ordered a few more boxes for you to try.” “wife, remember how you said you wanted to cook more? i took the liberty to replace our cookware with a new set; i heard they’re better than what we have and they certainly look easy in the eyes, don’t you think?”

he’s the favorite grandson-in-law candidate on the block. all the elderly are smitten by him and treat him like their own grandson. probably tried to introduce their granddaughters to him too. the way he kindly smiles as he shows his wedding ring to decline them will forever make me cry i don’t deserve this man

❦ 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ❦

𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

“xiànɡ ɡonɡ.” “yes?” “come watch the rain with me?” “a wonderful suggestion. give me a moment and i’ll fetch us some osmanthus tea.” “don’t take too long now!”

𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳

“this is easy. mei’s teasing becomes a lot more frequent whenever she feels lonely.” “who, me, lonely? psh, ridiculous.” “and when she’s truly embarrassed, she always tries to distance herself from the situation with cold words.” “>:|”

“lonely lónglí - hehe that sounds so cute - is adorable. like a little puppy, he hovers and sticks around me until i pay attention to him, and sulks if i don’t coddle him. hm? how does he sulk? you see, he gets a little petty in the subtlest ways - if i greet him, instead of greeting back and asking whether i needed something, he’ll just hum and nod. or if-” “ahem. lǎo pó, i think that’s enough.”

𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯

“drop dead gorgeous. way out of my league.”

“timid and reserved. very guarded. i did not think she enjoyed my presence at all.” “are you kidding me? you had me in a chokehold the very moment you started speaking???” “… tiánxīn, please take no offense to this, but you looked like you wanted to murder me in cold blood.”

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴/𝘰?

“his face and his voice. hmm, his personality? why’s that important?” “….. dear, i think people might not understand that you’re joking.” “ehe~!”

“everything about her is endearing. she is a wonderful companion and partner.” “li, you’re making me look bad.” “her mischievous side is, of course, very amusing to watch too.” “h-hey!!!”

𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 (𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨) 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳

“i would destroy the world for you.” “… but you said i was your world the other day.” “ZHONGLI I WAS TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC-”

“thank you for coming into my life.” “…. no, thank you. for everything.”

❦ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 ❦

@abyssmal-skies ◆ psy and al haitham ◆ 𝒎𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ lovesique | zwei

[EN Translation] Ever ever after / Actually I'd been expecting this meeting for so long Never ever before / Just a little more... / I wanna be embraced by those arms of yours. Hey, like this / Please gimme your sweet kiss Softly whispering / Please gimme your tight hug I want to look at the eyes I gaze at forever, always Please just be mine, baby / Going round and round, love addiction

this couple lives in the same building as us, and we constantly interact with each other. psy discusses complicated ceo things with zhongli while i exchange household chores tips with al haitham. the men try to not let their wives interact too much because 99% of the time either 1) chaos ensues, or 2) we both brag and shamelessly simp over the two men out loud and it’s just plain embarrassing (to them).

shopping trip double dates are a common reoccurrence. what kind of things do we usually go shopping for? oh, you know. just the usual. groceries, other essentials, clothes, furniture…

@seelestia ◆ lia and ayato ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ better together | jack johnson

Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here? And where do we go? / And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and / Sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

invites us to inazuma regularly after the sakoku decree is lifted and is the only reason why we rented a flat with one extra bedroom in liyue - just in case they want to visit.

”we can always pay for their accommodation when they visit. it’s just not cost-efficient, love-” “N O”

most of the time when we hang out it’s just two girls (+hu tao sometimes) being chaotic while their respective partners stand by the sidelines contentedly, making sure we don’t get in too much trouble.

”oh dear, is that a grey hair, mr. zhongli?” “a what now-” “my apologies, it seems like the sun was playing tricks on me :)” “.... i see. a result of a self projection from your own worry, perhaps? do take care, your job must be very stressful indeed.” “……….. thank you for your concern.” *both sips tea elegantly*

@the-travelling-witch ◆ holly and childe ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ i’m yours | jason mraz

So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm sure There's no need to complicate, our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours

zhongli and i find entertainment (+ concern in zhongli’s case, for the unfortunate souls that catch their eyes) in watching this couple in their natural habitat. i find holly’s witch shenanigans wondrous although sometimes she scares me and will go to her whenever i need her specially brewed potions. also childe is basically zhongli’s wallet so does that mean they’re our sugar daddy and sugar mommy???

“hypothetically speaking, can you magic a tea cabinet so it will be practically endless?” “of course! it would cost... say... two million mora :3” “🥺 e-even for me...? 🥺😢” “..... alright, alright, i suppose i can do it for free~” “yay!” “i can't guarantee any side-effects though. like opening a portal to another dimension and such...” “wait what”

before being in a relationship with zhongli, i was a regular patron of holly’s shop and i kept pestering her for a love potion.

“please ma’am just one bottle ;w;” “i’m telling you right now - you don’t need it, just go and confess already >:|” *cue holly making a frustrated sound as she sends me away for the 50th time that month*

@clovcly ◆ milo and al haitham ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ everything you do | m2m

That everything you do / Everything that you do Makes me wanna go / Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh Everything you say / Everything that you say Makes me wanna go / Ooh-ooh, ah-ah

“proud grandparents watching over a young couple bumbling about and being so in love“ dynamics.

“i hate him so much.” “milo you literally said you love him like, thirty seconds ago-” meanwhile, zhongli and al haitham, sitting on the side (pretending) to read their books: 👀

please stop fighting and making out in our bathroom thank you.

“do you think he loves me? do you think i annoy him??” “i saw al haitham smile when you cuddled him the day before and i saw him nuzzling your shoulder while you were asleep on his lap last week, literally what the fuck are you talking about-”

@ainescribe ◆ aine and zhongli ◆ 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ kiss me, kiss me | sarah geronimo

A kiss me, kiss me in the morning / Kiss me, kiss me in the night Kiss me, kiss me in the day time / Kiss me, kiss me all the time

spiderman meme ensues.

the two zhonglis conversing with each other over tea, talking about the wonder and inner workings of parallel universes and realizing they have a type: devoted simp who is lawfully chaotic. meanwhile, me and aine are chilling and gushing about what we love about our respective zhongli.

aine tells me sad mythological gods' stories and it always ends with me bursting into tears. cue my zhongli swooping in to try and calm me down and aine giving me a wink and a thumbs up - all according to plan.

@silentmoths ◆ moth and zhongli ◆ 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ starving | hailee steinfeld, grey, zedd

I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo By the way, right away, you do things to my body I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you

spiderman meme 2.0 but in moth’s absolutely adorable artstyle.

“hey moth, i wonder who the me in your world is dating.” “why?” “idk. so we can, uh, go for double dates?” “…. ;)” “;)” *cue us turning teyvat upside down to look for each other in our own worlds*

moth shared that zhongli, being the attentive lover that he is, has continuously proven this fact by always trying to fulfill any cravings she has. we decided to test the theory out by sending him on a 'weird food' errand. so far he has yet to fail, but i think moth's one whole month of 'roast beef sandwich bonanza' broke her zhongli a little bit. roast beef sandwich going to his list of 'least favorite food' i guess

@genshinparty ◆ kat and zhongli ◆ 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ magnetic girl | got7

[EN Translation] Come to me, you're so magnetic I'm attracted to every part of you / I'm getting shaken up I'm falling for you more and more / You're so fantastic My dream is to have you / You're the end of my decision

cringy newlywed couple (us) meets adored newlywed couple (them).

all around peaceful. picture a picnic scene on one of liyue’s mountains, me snoozing on my husband and kat weaving flower crowns for all four of us. that’s it that’s the vibe.

@thestarsofenkanomiya ◆ haku and heizou ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ sorega, ai deshou | mikuni shimokawa

[EN Translation] Because I have you, because I have tomorrow / because I can't live on all alone I feel you so close by me, I guess that's love Because you know how much pain tears can bring I want to find a smile in your transparent eyes / as I search for a definite meaning in them

zhongli is particularly fond of these two, despite the mischief they occasionally get into. i think it’s mostly because he’s able to hold intelligent and brain-stimulating conversations with the two of them (and he finds the cases heizou works on very interesting). i’m just there for moral support and to dreamily stare at his pretty face and bask in his velvety smooth voice, really.

“'zou, this is my little sister mei-” “hey wait i’m-” “-as i said, little sister, meirin.” “:|”

@ajaxstar ◆ hoshi and childe ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ sparks fly | taylor swift

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm / And I'm a house of cards You're the kind of reckless that should send me running / But I kinda know that I won't get far

both me and zhongli are always very amused at how childe is just a total simp for hoshi. it’s very amusing (and also a little embarrassing) seeing the fatui harbinger shamelessly serenading his beloved in the middle of the street. makes us look at each other and shake our heads because ‘ah, young love.’

“so how long did you sleep last night?” “……….. neigh.” “…” “…” “TARTAGLIA-"

@dawndelion-winery ◆ acco and diluc ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ something just like this | the chainsmokers, coldplay

I'm not looking for somebody / With some superhuman gifts / Some superhero / Some fairytale bliss Just something I can turn to / Somebody I can kiss

our husbands are very confused because we keep trying to slander each other but also apparently it’s how we bond???

“you’d kiss al haitham, i know you would.” “pffff and you wouldn't???” zhongli and diluc, thinking: “who is this al haitham person???”

they invited us to stay over at dawn winery one time, and we were so lost in watching the beautiful crystalflies fluttering about the vineyards under the vast starry sky and were so lost in the atmosphere, we almost kissed. almost.

"wait acco, i don't think we should-" “NOT IN MY VINEYARDS BITCHES!!!” oops.

since zhongli kept talking about osmanthus wine diluc created a whole production line and added it to angel’s share menu just to shut him up.

@silkjade ◆ jade and al haitham ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ the middle | zedd, maren morris, grey

So pull me closer / Why don't you pull me close? Why don't you come on over? / I can't just let you go

the thing is they’re not a couple yet, but it’s so obvious that al haitham has a soft spot for jade?? and she most definitely is interested but she’s in denial??? any idiot would be able to sense the mutual attraction in the air like jfc just kiss already.

while zhongli thinks we should just sit back and let them figure things out, i am actively trying to push al haitham to confess. but he keeps bamboozling me with fancy words and complicated lingos. for the usually so straightforward scribe, to be this difficult? he’s so down bad.

@queen-belial ◆ queen and capitano ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ adventure of a lifetime | coldplay

Now I feel my heart beating / I feel my heart underneath my skin And I feel my heart beating Oh, you make me feel / Like I'm alive again

zhongli is, at first, very much concerned at the fact that i’m befriending the infamous fatui harbinger’s secretary-slash-lover… but he backs off when i point out how he’s basically friends with lil ol’ tartaglia who is a fatui harbinger lol

me and queen regularly keep in touch via letters and childe is our mailman because he secretly wants to be in queen’s good side. hmmm… a puppy crush perhaps? i should ask her the next time we visit zapolyarny palace.

@dustofthedailylife ◆ dust and zhongli ◆ 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ make it mutual | olivia ong

This is how you make me feel. / When you're here, I feel your vibe And I hope I don't fall into deep too fast You're not the type, / Who'll rush into things. / And let it slip away. Yeah, I like your type. / Caught up in this ride. / It's kinda silly but I'll say In this nice cool breeze, / Yes I am all at ease. / When I gush. / And this sweet feeling comes to me. Can't deny, can't lie, can't really face the truth. / And I wonder if you're feeling the same way too

we're both shy and find it hard to initiate talking to new people. thank archons our significant other doesn’t mind doing it for us...

the way her zhongli would make sure that whenever we dine, our destination has to have an extensive vegetarian menu so dust can choose what to eat is absolutely endearing!

@foxic ◆ wren and albedo ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ you and me | lifehouse

And it's you and me / And all of the people And I don't know why / I can't keep my eyes off of you

it's such a heartwarming sight to see these two interacts. albedo might be stoic for the most part but whenever he speaks with wren his voice is softer and more expressive. it just shows how much comfortable he is in her presence. i have overheard him asking zhongli for advice about how to make wren happy one time but you didn't hear that from me.

“hey 'bedo since you're... well, you, your height will probably be the same regardless of time, right?” “i suppose. why the sudden interest?” “i mean, wren likes short men so-” “MEI”

@sonder-paradise ◆ ariel and diluc ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ way back home | shaun ft. conor maynard

You just say the word and I'll go / No, it doesn't matter how far / 'Cause your love is all that I know Baby you just stay where you are / And you know I won't be too long Hold on / Hold on Remember when I told you / No matter where I go I'll never leave your side / You will never be alone Even when we go through changes / Even when we're old Remember that I told you / I'll find my way back home

double dates in angel's share because then, diluc can tend to the bar and spend time with ariel at the same time (we get counter seat privileges hehe). plus, zhongli sticks out like a sore thumb and attracts more customers (people talk about "the good-looking liyuean man" who's visiting mondstadt currently and tries to spot him), which means more revenue for the tavern! it's a win-win situation! and i know ariel secretly thinks her boyfriend looks really good doing his mixologist thingy heh

around the same time, diluc's wine business starts getting bulk orders from overseas nations, which is quite mysterious seeing as dawn winery itself doesn't try that hard to advertise their products there. i had my suspicions and subtly asked zhongli about it. "just a little a repayment for their hospitality", he says with a chuckle.

@j0succ ◆ nat and diluc ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ save me | bts

[EN Translation] Today the moon shines brighter on the blank spot in my memories / It swallowed me, this lunatic, please save me tonight (Please save me tonight, please save me tonight) Within this childish madness you will save me tonight I knew that your salvation / Is a part of my life and the only helping hand that will embrace my pain The best of me, you're the only thing I have Please raise your voice so that I can laugh again

honestly, it's a miracle that we were able to meet and know each other with the way our husbands are insistent on keeping us from exploring the 'bad' world outside. zhongli probably saw how lonely i get whenever he has to be out of the house and thought he'd give me one reprieve: penpals. and who else could be a better candidate than the ms. ragnvindr who lives far, far away in mondstadt, who is apparently just as lonely and whose husband is frantically trying to look for every way possible to make her happy and yet selfishly unable to give the thing she desires most: freedom?

of course, they regularly check the contents of the letter and make sure any objects that were to be included in the letter wouldn't aid the other in their attempts to escape. little did they know we had the same thought of continuing this whole play to create a chance to escape... that is, if we still feel like escaping when the time comes. why do they have to look so soft and happy whenever they see us writing the letters and making little trinkets to keep each other sane?

@merzkihstuff ◆ kiki and cyno ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ euphoria | bts

[EN Translation] I hear the ocean from far away / Across the dream, past the woods Following this clarity Take my hands now / You are the cause of my euphoria

ok ok listen i visit kiki a lot bc she has cats and a dog for a bf how fitting amirite haha *is stabbed by an electrified spear* and they are so so so cute??? somehow the felines avoid zhongli though... his slightly offended face is so cute...

me and cyno exchange bad jokes all the time much to kiki's delight and zhongli's exasperation amusement. we love supportive lovers indulging their significant other's weirdness 🤝

"hey cyno, as fellow polearm users who do you think is more out-sand-ing, you or my husband?" "...." "if we're dune here shall we get moving to our next destination?" "...."

@thelost-in-time ◆ lost and xiao ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ when you say nothing at all | ronan keating

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me / There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me / The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall You say it best, when you say nothing at all

is there a more wholesome couple in teyvat besides these two? the answer is none. because they're just??? so wholesome??? the trust and support they have for each other are immaculate and awe-inspiring. you know the couple who can have a full-blown conversation with their gazes alone? t h e m.

zhongli is just so happy that his adoptive son adeptus is experiencing the joy of love again, so he visits them regularly just to check in and make sure everything is okay like a doting grandpa.

@astrxlis ◆ fox and xiao ◆ 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏!𝒂𝒖

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 ⟐ bleeding love | leona lewis

But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace / And in this world of loneliness, I see your face Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy Maybe, maybe

tall x short couple, times two. me and xiao lamenting over how we have to basically ask for a kiss because our significant other is just??? too fuckin' tall?? seriously what did yall eat?? zhongli literally eats rock how is he so tall

the first time fox pulled a 'bratty' attitude in front of zhongli (“so should i call you great-great-great grandfather?”) xiao looks so horrified it's hilarious. he's trying so hard to apologize and salvage the situation while i'm just wheezing in the background and zhongli is just standing there like 🧍‍♂️

💌 ps. yes this is an invitation to gush about your selfship with me - regardless whether you’re on this list or not 💞 also if you're my moot and i missed you i am so sorry sldfjsldf i probably either forgot (i do that a lot these days *grandma voice* i'm old) or don't know who you selfship with!!

#genshin impact #zhongli #rin selfships #zhongrin #yandere #goodness this is so long #i hope you lot didn't mind the tag #pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in things like this in the future!! <3 #i think this is my first time writing & posting such a long and 100% pure self-indulgent post publicly.... *sweats nervously*#if you're reading this after all that then 1) congrats you've reached the end give urself a pat on the back and know that im smooching you #and 2) ily <3 <3 <3

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