On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation
While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.
I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.
Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."
So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.
The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.
Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.
Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:
[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]
It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...
[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]
...and this...
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]
...and this.
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]
This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.
(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)
But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.
Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.
But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.
He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]
...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.
And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.
[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]
Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!
...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?
[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]
Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.
I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.
And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.
[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]
Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]
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yandere mk1 raidennn?????
raiden x reader (yandere alphabet)
warnings: obsessiveness, mentions of violence and murder, mentions of death, slight angst, kidnapping, established relationship, gender neutral reader, ooc raiden, (regular yandere tendencies... you know what you're getting into)
a/n: hey so i thought my yandere hcs were getting too repetitive so i decided to make this into a yandere alphabet!! im so sorry it took me a while to get to this btw. also hello another val 👋👋👋 val nation lets gooooo
A ffection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
raiden doesn't strike me as the type to be outright with his affection. he's the type of yandere that would seem really tame at first, and hide his true feelings in the beginning of the relationship. he is actually very obsessive and even jealous when you give your attention to someone else, which you find out later on in the relationship. his affection is very intense, however. he adores you so much, he just wants to put you in his pocket! (and then keep you locked in there, make sure you can't talk to anyone else, and treat you as if you have the mind of an infant. but at least he would give you your favorite mini foods!)
B lood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
raiden wouldn't kill someone for you unless he has to. if your life was in danger and someone threatened to harm you, he'd have no problem eliminating them instantly. but when it comes to his competition, he'd find some other method. raiden is a very well-trusted guy and everyone knows he is kind and honest, so they would instantly trust him if he were to spread a dirty lie about his competition. surely that would drive them to run away? if that doesn't work, he would find some kind of other way to distract them from you. murder would be his last resort.
C ruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
raiden would never mock you! he wouldn't even think you hated being locked up by him. he is delusional and he doesn't think you hate being locked up. he thinks you love him and you love being with him. even if you were to react with anger and violence, he would assume you were just having a bad day. you can kick and scream all you want, raiden would just hug you and comfort you. besides, you don't have a reason to be upset! he spends as much time as he can with you, he provides you everything you need, and he gifts you clothes and furniture to your liking. you love it there, don't you?
D arling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against the darling's will?
raiden would probably try to avoid displeasing you. however he knows that sometimes he has to, it's for your own good! he knows what is best for you, please trust him! if you're angry at him for anything he does, he wouldn't exactly understand why, but he would still comfort you. other than that, he tries to please you as often as he can. as long as you are healthy and happy, so is he.
E xposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
this was already mentioned, but raiden would be very normal at first. the beginning of your relationship would seem like it was straight out of a romcom. sweet, innocent, and cute. he'll be honest with how he feels and comfort you when you were upset. but as the relationship goes on, he'll open up his possessive side more. but he still deeply cares about you. he is very loving and treats you with so much care, almost as if you were delicate and made of glass.
F ight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
this was already mentioned, but he would just assume you were just having a bad day. all couples have fights, this is normal! raiden doesn't blame you at all. no matter how severe your anger is, he would never get mad at you. the most he'll do as a punishment is gently lecture you. he can't bring himself to be mad at you.
G ame: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
raiden does not see it as a game. as much as he underestimates you, he doesn't treat you like a doll or a plaything. he understands that you are just in pain, so he doesn't blame you for constantly wanting to escape. he doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain at all. raiden tries his best to comfort you and try to find out why you are so upset, but he just doesn't get it. why are you so angry? do you not like the wallpaper in your new bedroom? do you want him to spend more time with you? he's confused and desperate to help you, so he is not at all amused by your attempts to escape.
H ell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
honestly? there isn't really a specific bad experience with raiden. the only bad thing about being in a relationship with him is his possessiveness and how he treats you as if you're weak. other than those two factors, raiden is surprisingly kind and mature. he would hate to make you upset. he always tries not to ruin your mood, unless he has to. he strongly believes that as long as you are happy, so is he.
I deals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
raiden would love to start a family with you. he loves the idea of taking care of kids with you by his side. if you don't want a family, he would be okay with that. he would be perfectly fine with just a couple of pets here and there as you both stay together for the rest of your lives. he doesn't exactly have a clear vision of what he wants. as long as you two are together and you are safe, he does not mind what the future holds.
J ealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
oh raiden absolutely gets jealous. he doesn't like it when you give your attention to other people. he knows you're just being kind and he fully trusts you, he just doesn't trust other people. he thinks they don't know you better than he does, and they would just break your heart. but raiden would never hurt you! so he keeps that in mind when he gets bummed out about your relationship with others. he reassures himself that he is the best person to be your significant other, and nobody else. he silently sulks and he refuses to admit that he is jealous.
K isses: How do they act around or with their darling?
he is so in love. raiden absolutely adores you. he thinks you can do no wrong. he treats you with so much love and care. even though it's a bit too much and he treats you as if you're weak and you cannot protect yourself, it's only because he loves you so much. he loves engaging in any activity with you, he loves giving you his attention, his physical and verbal affection, etc. raiden is completely lovesick.
L ove letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
raiden is the typical shy boy approaching his crush. it's almost stereotypical, that he is extremely flustered when he confesses to you. it wouldn't even surprise you, since he was already super shy and kind towards you. he would always stammer when speaking to you and he would perform some acts of service for you every time you two crossed paths. when raiden confessed his feelings to you, it wasn't anything big. he had a couple gifts and he approached you with a red face as he poured his heart out to you.
M ask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
sort of. raiden is still extremely kind and understanding to you, even though he showed his condescending and possessive side. but nobody else is aware of this behavior. you had no idea he had this side to himself when you started dating him.
N aughty: How would they punish their darling?
raiden would not want to punish you. he thinks you can do no wrong, and he is extremely understanding when you are upset. so no matter what you do, he could never be mad at you or punish you. the worst thing he'd do is gently lecture you as if he was training a dog.
O ppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
as mentioned earlier, raiden would have no problem kidnapping you and taking away your freedom. he doesn't think of it as a bad thing or a punishment, he just wants to keep you safe. the outside world is a very scary place, so you must stay in his protection! he doesn't think of it as taking away a right of yours, he has to do what is best for you. even if you are angry at him right now, someday you'll understand that he is just trying to help you!
P atience: How patient are they with their darling?
raiden is extremely patient. he doesn't care how long it takes for you to calm down from your anger towards him, he'll always love you and take care of you. even if you attempt to escape every day, he doesn't mind at all. he will always look after you and make sure you are okay. even though he hates seeing you unhappy, he has hope that someday you'll be comfortable with your new life.
Q uit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
raiden would never move on. he would be extremely confused if you were to die. what did he do wrong? he thought he was doing so well. he took such good care of you, and you were so healthy! what happened? why did he fail you? it would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he wouldn't know how to live without you. he would even have thoughts of ending his own life. why live the rest of his life in agony with memories of you, if he can just join you in the afterlife? if you were to escape however, raiden would rip the world apart just to find you. you must come back to him. he can keep you safe. please go back to him.
R egret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
raiden would feel immense guilt, but he convinces himself that he is doing what is best for you. you are not safe out there, let him keep you with him. he wouldn't let you go, since he is deeply paranoid of something happening to you. he would occasionally let you wander around outside, but not too far from him or your living space.
S tigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
it may be because of his new power and how he believes you are too weak to take care of yourself. raiden never had these possessive and delusional traits when he was younger. he met you, fell in love, and thought of you like a delicate little flower. since he's earthrealm's champion and he can take care of you, he takes it upon himself to keep you safe. it was a very sudden change in his personality.
T ears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
raiden absolutely detests seeing you in pain. his heart would break at the sight of you crying or isolating yourself. he would try to comfort you, but he would understand if you needed space. he is very kind and gentle when it comes to your emotions, even if he doesn't always understand the root of the issue.
U nique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
raiden isn't as cold or deadly as the classic yandere. he isn't too willing to hurt you or anyone else unless he has to. he is actually quite normal and loving in your relationship. other than the kidnapping and infantilization of course.
V ice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
you can easily trick raiden if you start ignoring him. he can handle you yelling, kicking, or attacking him in any way. but if you start to distance yourself and refuse to give him any of your attention, he would be lost. he would be extremely confused, and he would hate seeing you so empty. he would panic and be worried that he accidentally broke you, so he would attempt to give you a little bit of fresh air just outside your living space. you can use that as your chance to escape.
W it’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
raiden would try everything to avoid hurting you. only if he *has* to, he would. only as a last resort. seeing you in pain is his least favorite thing in the world.
X oanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
raiden would basically worship you. he thinks you can do no wrong, and he adores you so much. he does everything for you. he works for you, provides for you, and makes sure you don't have to lift a finger. he loves serving you, and doesn't want you to feel like a burden. he takes care of you because he loves you. he is also convinced that you already love him, so he wouldn't exactly try to win you over.
Y earn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
he would never snap. raiden would confess to you, and as you get deeper into your relationship, the more he is convinced you love him back. even if you lose feelings, he wouldn't know. the thought of you losing feelings for him wouldn't even cross his mind.
Z enith: Would they ever break their darling?
ultimately, he probably would. if you were stuck in a home by yourself for most of your life with nobody but raiden, and rarely spend time outside... you would be broken. you would lose the light in your eyes and lose your love for the world. your entire life was ruined and raiden accidentally took everything away from you. he thinks he knows what is best for you, so he doesn't consider the possibility of breaking you until it is too late. his greatest fear was seeing you get hurt by the world, but he would become what he fears most.
i hope it isn't noticeable that this isn't proofread LMAOOO
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