#REGINALD FUCKING SUCKS MAN

[fideidefenswhore]

Thomas Stafford was the ninth child and second surviving son of Henry Stafford, 1st Baron Stafford and Ursula Pole. Little is known of his early life, first being mentioned in 1550 as he travelled to Rome, where he associated with his uncle Reginald Cardinal Pole. He spent three years in Italy before travelling to Poland, obtaining the recommendation of King Sigismund Augustus who requested Mary restore him to the Dukedom of Buckingham. Augustus's appeal appeared to have no effect. When Stafford returned to England in January 1554 he joined the rebellion led by Thomas Wyatt; this arose out of concern of Mary's determination to marry Philip II of Spain. The rebellion failed and Thomas was captured and briefly imprisoned in the Fleet Prison before fleeing to France. There, he intrigued with other English exiles and continued to promote his claim to the English throne. On 18 April 1557 (Easter Sunday) Stafford sailed from Dieppe with two ships and over 30 men. Landing in Scarborough on 25 April 1557, he walked into the unprotected castle and proclaimed himself Protector of the Realm,[2] attempting to incite a new revolt by denouncing the Spanish marriage, railed against increased Spanish influence and promised to return the crown "to the trewe Inglyshe bloude of our owne naterall countrye".[1][3][4] Stafford claimed he had seen letters at Dieppe showing that Scarborough and 12 other castles would be given to Philip II and garrisoned with 12,000 Spanish soldiers before his coronation.[5] Three days later, the Earl of Westmorland recaptured the castle and arrested Stafford and his companions. Stafford was beheaded for treason on 28 May 1557 on Tower Hill, after imprisonment in the Tower of London. Thirty-two of his followers were also executed after the rebellion.[6].

#rlly showcasing hcavill's 'acting' here...anyways. let me mind my business #i need the tudors to be less underrated than it is bcus like. the way i totally buy this was a rant he totally gave... #'they have plantagenet blood in their veins' (so do you; babygirl) and all #bcs like. he is truly the worst. but is he wrong? #thomas stafford like my grandfather was right! the tudors suck dhfagrfwragfm #honestly the reason being given as her marriage to felipe ii was probably just a pretense #also yes this is all from wiki. don't judge me . #for all the faults of the writing (and it had plenty) it really like...took you to that emotional place #of this is the worst man in the world but also. he's sort of right. and just lets you sit #in the discomfort of that... #and also that this is all his self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent. reginald pole wrote that indictment of him #but he didn't have it widely published until he. yk. killed his entire fucking family bar geoffrey #(and then this does happen to edward courtenany to some extent too. altho it seems he was more pawned than complicit) #marian #henrician #i actually didn't know about this rebellion ...really contradicts that narrative #that all mary's plantagent relatives 'adored' her; huh?

[egotokill]

finished tua season 3. many thoughts. some in tags. OBVIOUSLY ITS SPOILERS. anyway gonna start tagging spoilers with "tua spoilers //" if yall want to blacklist

#so viktor. obsessed with him #but im like. biased. #this season had really good one liners and witty conversations #but a lot of characters were so ooc #i fucking hated allison this season she was truly insufferable to me #i know blaming the whole world feels much better than just letting grief happen but she was truly hell i didnt enjoy her at all #i thought five and klaus were awesome i loved them this season #BEN IS MY FAVORITE. HE IS MY FAVORITE. #can we all agree he's gay? closeted gay man? shame this is how we had to find out i think the incest thing is gross as always #but closeted gay man for sure #luther and sloane. hated that. truly hated that. in my brain theyre still siblings. they all call reginald dad. he calls them all his kids. #its weird. dislike that. #no strong feelings towards diego and lila. like them but i still cant help but find their relationship odd #ok that was it i think #loved jayme and alphonso sucks we didnt see much of em #NOW that was ot

[yakumtsaki]

As you guys know, Claire being so into Sugar has been vexing me from the start for obvious, nose-based reasons. I assumed she was either secretly batshit or that Sugar has inherited some hidden sexual talents from Cyn, or both. But finally, I think I’ve cracked the case:

So Claire, like Sugar, has the amazing combo of popularity aspiration + 3 nice points and her LTW is to become a Celebrity Chef. So when I moved her in I thought it’d be cute to give her this ice cream dress like she wants to be a pastry chef and I never thought about it again. But as I was editing pics before, it finally dawned on me: she’s a PASTRY chef and he’s SUGAR. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW❤️

Moving on to something significantly less cute, it’s time for Sophito to begin another day of hoeing. Roxie wouldn’t accept our invite to come over so I pulled a pro gamer move and invited her whole household and she accepted, so we’re about to knock out 3 dates at once! I was feeling so proud of my efficiency-

-that I literally FORGOT ROXIE AND JONAH ARE DATING. LMAO. Literally wtf is my problem, I’ve even done a photoshoot with them. 

-ROXIE WHAT THE FUCK HOW COULD YOU  -I’M SO SORRY JONAH I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO KISS SOMEONE WHOSE MOUTH SITS AT A NORMAL HEIGHT -Dude, can you just be cool? I was gonna date both you and her brother afterwards, you’re ruining my morning.

Another massive dating success under our belt!

We immediately move on to Edwin without even bothering to say goodbye to his sister whose relationship we just ruined, classic us. I’m like am I cray cray or would Edwin and Sophito actually be a super cute pairing-

-but it looks like we’ll never find out as EDWIN REJECTS THE FUCK OUT OF SOPH. CRY.ING

-Do I look like my slutty sister who’s just gonna make out with any rando fuckboi with a popped collar?? Fuck off!!

STAN EDWIN. ABSOLUTE CHAD WTF. I’m definitely marrying him in later!!

It’s finals day and everyone is frantically last minute studying but Wilfred and Sophito find time to have a nice lunch together!

-Did you poison this burger, Wilfred? -Whaaaat?! Of course not! Do I look like someone who would poison their own cousin over some petty sexual rivalry?

You absolutely do, I didn’t even know ‘cousin-poisoner’ was a social category until now but man you have the entire look down. 

-Alright then, why don’t you just tell me what ingredients you used.

-The usual! Buns, ground meat, lettuce, tomatoes, ketchup.. drain cleaner.. -Did you just whisper ‘drain cleaner’? -Of course not, that would be stupid and also a criminal confession! Oh man, 8 hours till finals?? Time to get going!!!

I don’t know how to even react to this information BUT SUGAR WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT AN A+. WHAT IS HAPPENING

-Maybe if June spent a little less time worrying about Erik’s lack of funds and more time studying she’d have kept the top spot, am I right, darling? HAHA

BRUH

-Friendship over with Sugar, now Sophito is my favorite nephew!  -Hi June, what about me? :( -Oh I don’t know, Reginald, how much did you spend on rugs today?? -Never mind :(

Oh is that that Almeric Face 1 Twin Guy? Let’s go ask him out! 

-Hey Almeric Face 1 Twin Guy ;) -My name is Aldric.  -That sucks, Almeric is a way cooler name. -I know >:( -Don’t worry, it doesn’t really matter-

-because I just decided during our date that I want to fall in love with Kea!❤️

WHAT. YOU’VE NEVER ROLLED THIS BEFORE WTF

-Ya, I’ve figured out that Cheerleader Kea is the one for me after all! 

But you only had one date three semesters ago, you don’t even have a crush on her??

-I’ll get one! 

What about Eliza???

-Eliza has a lot of thoughts and opinions and demands and Wilfreds. Cheerleader Kea only has cheers!

Alright then, I guess? We’ll ask her out?

-Great, and then I’ll ask her to marry me! 

YOU’RE GONNA WHAT

-I’m on a date with Almeric here, you’re being rude. -Aldric. -Whatever.

#gen 3 #ts2

[number5theboy]

Idk if it’s shown often but top 5 moments where five is sympathetic and cares for his family? 👀👀

"But the last time we tried to stop [the apocalypse], we all died. Why is this time any different? Why shouldn't I go home to my daughter?" "Because this time, I'm here. We have the name of the man responsible. Guys, we actually have the chance of saving the lives of billions of people. Including Claire." "...you know her name?" "I do. And I'd like to live long enough to meet her." (S1E07) The writers may have forgotten about this moment, but I haven't.

"Okay, Luther. But be careful. I've lived a long life. But you're still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it." ICONIC SCENE FROM S1E05 THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT ENOUGH

Klaus and Five bonding in front of the Big Ball of Twine. That was really good.

Five lying to Viktor in S2E03 about what ended the world is such an insight into his character, because it is a proof of love. It's not what Viktor wants or needs, but the fact that Five, someone whose usual path is brutal honesty, lies to not make Viktor upset, because he knows that he will freak out about the prospect of an apocalypse anyway, without knowing that he was the cause. It's an odd show of care that I find very interesting.

Thinking about this made me realise that Five and Diego fucking suck at this?? There is no moment where Five is sympathetic to Diego's face and shows him he cares about him. He does it behind his back (like talking to Lila about him), but by God, are the two of them communicating through bitching and sarcasm. But shout-out to Five opening up to Diego about being nervous about seeing Reginald again in S2E02.

#Replies #five-moreminutes-pls

[triviareads]

ARC Review of When the Duke Loved Me by Lydia Lloyd

Summary:

Catherine Forster was ruined by John Breminster, Duke of Edington a decade ago, and thanks to the enmity between their families, he refused to marry her. Now, a decade later, Catherine is a penniless spinster, and John is on her doorstep, asking for her for her help with a sensitive matter that concerns the scandal that occurred between their families years ago...

My review:

This is Lydia Lloyd's debut novel, and I thought she did a great job of writing main characters who were individually sympathetic and dynamic together, as well as an overarching mystery plot that kept me on my toes the entire time.

A lot of the plot is centered around the enmity between the Breminsters and the Forsters. About a decade before the prologue starts, John's father Reginald and Catherine's Aunt Mary (who raised her) were caught in flagrante and the fallout meant financial and reputational ruin for Catherine and her family, as well as John's family being torn apart. Now, John's father is dead and he's left behind an annuity that Mary must accept, or it will spell social ruin for John's sister. The problem is, Mary's disappeared and John is convinced Catherine can help him find her.

Catherine is a heroine who's reduced to some pretty dire circumstances (girlie literally has the residents of her household faking the plague to avoid debt collectors), so she's scrappy and realistic enough to go along with John's scheme without much fuss. John is presented as something of a feckless rake (with rake friends who I hope get their own stories), but we see the hidden, more caring side to him soon enough.

What's interesting is, between the ruination from a decade prior, as well as John initially casting aspersions on Catherine's morality ("a spinster can't kiss as well as YOU did"), you would think they have an uphill battle to even tolerate one another, but they didn't. I thought it was refreshing that despite everything, they don't bother to deny their mutual attraction right from the get-go. They grow to care for one another along the way (this is definitely a case of sex helping their relationship grow, and sex is their form of communication), and it's fairly smooth sailing all things considered. Really, the greater conflict(s) are how they individually grapple with the complicated relationships between them and their respective parental figures.

This relative lack of tension until the end also makes the climax more poignant, when Catherine is faced with the choice to break off their engagement and leave, or be forced to keep secrets from John, which she can't bring herself to do because of how much she loves and cares for him.

The mysterious relationship between Reginald and Mary serves as a compelling backdrop. For one, there are a lot of parallels between them and John/Catherine (like I think John tries to fuck Catherine on the same desk he caught them on when he was younger lol). They ultimately served as a warning for the main couple for how not to proceed with their relationship.

The sex:

The overall sex vibes in this book can probably be best described as "down and ready any time, anywhere". Delving into the specific, I'm shameless enough to say I'm all for an instant gratification moment and Lydia delivered with the beginning "ruination" scene... set in the middle of ruins at that. And the ramifications even a decade later are pretty damn hilarious: At some point John admits to Catherine that he couldn't get off unless he was thinking about her to which my reactions in order were a) GASP b) *cackles* c) wait.... this is actually romantic?

There's also a great dry-humping scene pretty early on which honestly might have been hotter than the actual sex? It starts with him telling her he wants to suck ink off her fingers, and ends with him high-tailing out of there with a Boner of Shame and Guilt (we love a selfless man) so I was 100% entertained the whole time.

Overall:

If you enjoy a your historical romances with a side of mystery, then this is the book for you. I loved the easy chemistry between the main couple and how they slowly unraveled the truth of the past. This is a fantastic debut for Lydia Lloyd, and I look forward to future books in this series.

Thank you to Tule Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

#arc review #Lydia Lloyd #Tule Publishing #netgalley #historical romance #arc #romance novel

[invisibleraven]

“you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.” for Alex/anyone because LET. ALEX. SWEAR.

Warnings for child abuse, allusions to domestic violence

It is well established, that out of all of Alex's friends, Reggie is the most questionable one. So sometimes, Alex thinks he can be excused for not paying attention to every single bit of his ramblings.

Like he's glad that Dungeons & Dragons is helping Reggie develop his storytelling skills and having a positive impact on his English grade, but that doesn't mean he needs to know the life story of every character in his campaign.

And Alex doesn't mind country music, but he could do without being party to Reggie's hour long lecture on the greatness of Dolly and Shania when Luke rags on the genre a bit too much.

Honestly it's when Reggie gets quiet and withdrawn that makes Alex sit up and pay attention.

Today for instance, when he came in, he had to stop. Because Reggie was hunched in on himself, sniffling and wiping at watery eyes.

"Reg? Are you okay?"

Reggie lifted his eyes, red rimmed and shimmery, a dark mark on his cheek that make Alex suck in a breath. "Like you care."

Alex rushed over, gripping Reggie's hands in his, unable to ignore the split knuckles, and looked Reggie right in his eyes. "You're my friend, of course I fucking care," he asserted, taking in the trickle of blood from Reggie's nose, the cut running through his eyebrow. "And I want to murder whoever did this to you."

Reggie's eyes flew away, wiping the blood away, hands jerked from Alex's grasp. "Don't worry, I got my own licks in."

Alex snorted at that. "Did you just 'you should see the other guy' me? Really Reginald?"

Reggie cracked a wry grin at that, grabbed the tissues that Alex grabbed from the box on the table and offered to him. "I mean, you just told me you wanted to kill him, so maybe you shouldn't. Doubt anyone will bail you out if you snuff out my old man."

Alex froze at that. "Your dad did this to you?"

"It was that or let him beat the shit out of my mom. She got out, her and Alfie, hopefully she thought to go farther than the Meyerson's. I came here." Reggie blew out a breath, disrupting the bangs that were lying across his forehead. "He was plastered, probably passed out by now. He'll forget this, too ashamed that his own son beat his ass. He always does."

"H-he's done this before?" Alex asked timidly.

"Not this bad," Reggie admitted. "He lost his job, so it was worse this time. Usually I'm faster, able to avoid him leaving a mark. I just wish mom would get it in her head that he's never gonna change and just take us and leave."

"Reggie..." Alex started, but stopped when Reggie held up a hand.

"It's okay Lexie. I'm almost 18. Once my birthday hits if she's still with him I'm taking Alfie and getting out. Bring him to MeeMaw back in Georgia, he'll be safe there. I-I don't think I can save her too if she won't get it through her head what a piece of shit he is."

"And you?" Alex asked, quiet as the fear rushed through him. "Will you stay in Georgia too?"

Reggie snorted at that, smiling at Alex, but wincing when it made his cheek sting. "Why, you worried you'll miss me? No worries, I couldn't stay away long, the band needs me. Plus once Ray finds out, I'm pretty sure he'll offer to adopt me then and there."

Alex let out a genuine laugh at that. "Well you're not wrong there." Then, quiet as anything, he whispered "Next time it gets bad, come to me will you? I know first aid at least. Now let's get you cleaned up, and we can see what snacks Ray has poked away before Julie sees you and freaks."

Reggie grinned, letting himself be pulled up from the couch, but didn't let go of Alex's hand, and he found he didn't mind that one bit. "Sounds good, but I call dibs on the Goldfish."

Alex snorted. "Deal," and started pulling Reggie towards the house, never letting go, even if it made eating snacks all the harder. But when Reggie pressed a shy kiss to the corner of Alex's mouth, he found he really didn't mind, gripping Reggie's hands all the tighter.

#filled prompts #ficlet #ralex #julie and the phantoms

[einsteinsugly]

Steven James Hyde (born November 28, 1959), an '80s Man...

"Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place." -John Bender, The Breakfast Club

*****

Welcomed, to the Forman and Barnett Family:

Jacqueline "Jackie" Hyde (nee Burkhart) (wife, May 1982-present)

Rebecca "Becca" Hyde (daughter, with Jackie, born December 5, 1985)

James Hyde (son, with Jackie, born October 22, 1987)

William "WB" Barnett (still his dad)

Angela "Angie" Barnett (still his sister)

William "Will" Clark (nephew)

Reginald "Red" and Katherine "Kitty" Forman (adopted parents, since April 1982)

Eric Forman (adopted brother)

Donna Pinciotti-Forman (nee Pinciotti) (adopted sister-in-law)

Elizabeth "Betsy" Kelso, Katherine "Kate" Forman, and Cecilia Acosta (goddaughters [adopted niece; for Kate], with Jackie)

Alexander "Alex" Forman (upcoming adopted nephew [*cough* niece *cough*])

Adrian Forman (adopted nephew), Hannah Kelso and Ashley Tate (basically his nieces)

Location(s):

Point Place, Wisconsin (January-March 1980)

Milwaukee, Wisconsin (March 1980-September 1989)

Chicago, Illinois (September 1989-present)

Occupation(s):

Owner and manager of the Point Place Grooves (January-March 1980), owner and manager of the West Milwaukee Grooves (March 1980-September 1989), owner and manager of the Rogers Park and Hyde Park Grooves (September 1989-present)

Interests:

Hobbies: Music, music, music. Learning how to play guitar. Hanging out with the wife and kids. Playing some chess. The occasional beer or joint, the occasional party or circle. The guys watched The Brave Little Toaster when they were high as fuck once. Because the creators had to be high, man, to write a whole fuckin' movie (based on a book, apparently) about talking appliances.

Movies: Stand by Me, Rain Man, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Heathers, The Breakfast Club. He watches the last two with Jackie, and the National Lampoon stuff with Forman and Donna, usually.

TV: Little House on the Prairie. Forman and Donna rope him into watching Cheers and The Wonder Years sometimes. Most 80s sitcoms suck, though. It's all super G rated, nuclear family crap. He only likes that stuff in real life, not idolized on some half-assed TV set.

Music: Lots of the old stuff. Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, The Who, The Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath. Some Santana and Steely Dan, if he's in a good mood. He listens to some new releases from AC/DC, Queen, Blue Oyster Cult, Springsteen, and other holdovers from the 70s.

But ever since Bonham and Lennon died, music hasn't been the same. Hair metal sucks (fuck Twisted Sister, Poison, Motley Crue, and Def Leppard), and so does the soft rock crap Forman calls rock (it's barely rock music, catered to the masses), so only a few popular 80s bands pique his interest. Mainly, Metallica, Iron Maiden, and Guns 'N Roses. Bon Jovi's all right, but that's more of Forman and Donna's thing.

By the end of the decade, though, the alternative and grunge scene's where it's at. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers. A bunch of other underground stuff, which he's more than willing to support. With his hard-earned, cold-hard cash.

Extra Note: Orwell's dystopia gets closer and closer to comin' true, all the fuckin' time...

#that 70s show #that 90s show #steven hyde #jackie and hyde #jackie burkhart #eric forman #eric and donna #donna pinciotti #red and kitty #my moodboards #becca hyde #james hyde #kate forman

[the-time-travelers-admirer]

His family suck and is all synonyms for the dysfunctional! I wanted to like Luther but he keep putting his hands on people especially Five and wanted to beat his ass cuz Sloane poof! And I wanna like Diego but he like back and forth and hot and cold! One second he with Five and then the next he want to beat Five ass or watch Five get his ass beat! Make up your mind mind Hispanic discount batman man! And like ever since he came back no one has given Five a true hug! Like Viktor was like I was like I don't wanna lose you again but then was like "Reginald say time travel can make mind poo poo" not once but twice and like das gaslighting! And das mean! Rewatch! It mean! And Viktor is all gaslighty and manipulative and only side with whom he seems more powerful and beneficial that why I know like him! And it suck because I want to like him because he's important to Five but Viktor toxic and that suck! And we all know why Allison suck! And Sparrow Ben suck too cuz he toxic too and people think he's just fun! NOOOOOOOO! He suuuuuuck! And Five dying in that tube suck too! He was so sad when he watched himself die... All I wanna do is be there and take that thing from around his neck so he could have been more comfortable and then give him a forehead kiss so he knew he was loved before he passed! Five in da tube deserved better! Five was so sad... So so sad... Why no one notice...?! Everyone in Five family toxic but Five himself and Klaus! I feel like Klaus actually genuinely loves Five! He actually sits with him and listens to him and talks with him and they vent to each other and Klaus trusted Five the most to go with him to meet his mom! Yeeh he lied for a second but that's cuz he felt like the rest would be like "What the fuck?!" So he was like "Five plz!" And Five wasn't even that mad and was like "okay let's go see your mom s" in the end and Klaus was like " you're a good brother my tiny dancer" and and that's so nice! They a good pair! I love Klaus and Five! They a good duo! And I feel bad to say most of Five family do the big suck because I know he deeply loves them and waited a whole life time to see them... I am so drink...

#the time travelers admirer #the umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves #tua five #the retiring time traveler #tua Klaus #tua klaus #god bless you klaus

[grunklejam]

I watched the FNAF movie and want my time back. (A sarcastic review with spoilers)

Five Nights at Fizzleton Frazzington Fuzzibottom's is a brand new movie, produced by noted developer and homophobe, Scott Catheter: developer of such games as FNAF 1, FNAF 2, FNAF 3, and Chipper's Challenge. It stars an unrealistic robot called Josh Hutcherson, joined by a group of likeable, more human characters such as Fizzleton, Bumbersquat, Chickle and Reginald Jeremy Hooksworth.

In it, we make many amazing revelations such as:

Josh Hutcherson can chew scenery more than a scenery chewer called scenery chewerman.

Cop lady has been written by somebody who has never seen a cop, or a lady.

Physical effects are the fucking best.

Matthew Lillard is really good at being a weird lil gremlin man.

Evil money-grubbing aunts have been overdone since the 90s and are not getting better.

Blumhouse really hate sticking to a kid's film rating.

The animatronics are genuinely incredible and it feels awesome seeing them on the big screen - though it does mean that when CGI or a person in a costume is doing the job, it feels like a huge cop-out. I still geeked out a little at the Golden Freddy stuff, though, even though it made zero sense. Springtrap and his 'demise' was cool despite the ridiculous overdramatic gremlin behaviour and them trying to make it a cool twist.

The setting is superb and really does up the creep and subliminal space factor that made the first game so spooky - those hollow silences and flickering screens are super, super effective, as is the use of radio / VHS / audio keys that feel very fitting to the setting. I enjoyed the fact that everybody felt suitable disdain to notable thief and pope-harasser, Matthew Patrick.

Sadly, it's loaded with crummy melodrama that spoils the fun, especially when the script is really weak and cluttered and just takes us away from the film's best asset - Freddy's.

When the movie is good, it's pretty good. When it's not focusing on the impressive budget-draining effects and setting, it feels barely higher than a D-grade made-for-TV movie. All the way through, it seemed like it was CLAMOURING to do some actual horror scenes. It felt like a movie that was frustrated. The only vaguely scary scene is when random criminal hoodlums are raiding the pizzeria and get their ass handed to them - that apparently the robots just did a really good job at clearing up.

Evil cupcake was the most highly developed character.

5/10 - Great aesthetics. PG13 horror movies suck.

#fnaf movie #movie review

[ratsetflummi]

Well. Tbh everyone in this show kinda sucks objectively, no one's a good person (but few are 100% bad people either) but some are valid because I like them and I said so. The pirate emotions didn't get me until later, either, because yeah honestly the first few episodes are boring and I just kinda kept watching because I had nothing better to do, and not to be like "oh but it does get really good from episode 20482 onwards!" but I only started to really get into it in the second season.

And yeah Luther Umbrella Academy shook me too, though not as terribly because I'd already gone through the shock of seeing him as a knight in Merlin BBC. The man can really do it all.

i guess a good and pure uwu bean wouldn't typically end up as a pirate (at least outside of one piece), so that makes sense

having to stick with it until season two isn't that bad in this case, because it's only 8 episodes to get there (even though they're an hour long each. which is more than my attention span can handle, but that's what the pause button is for)

oh, i have not watched that far in merlin (kinda forgot that i was watching that), but that would also have fucked me up. the luther shock isn't helped by the fact that his relationship to the captain has similar vibes to his relationship with reginald hargreeves. like, obviously not exactly the same, but. the vibes.

but yes, after i'm done with uni stuff for today (or possibly instead of doing uni stuff) i'll try to watch episode two today

[andwiththatileave]

Has this been done yet?

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua s2 #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #this is true #straight fax no printer #tua memes #YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE #REGINALD FUCKING SUCKS MAN #tuamemes

[blurrycow]

Hargreeves analysis (1/7: we’re going in order here)

tagging my faves! @jbd302020, @conchshell, @stupidcanofpeaches, @assaily (I know some of us aren’t exactly mutuals but I love your stuff and you’re super cool people! Plus, I’m just tagging you in all my tua stuff now. you are part of the crew. there is no escape.)

Luther

Luther Hargreeves. Where to start. I went into the Umbrella Academy expecting to despise him, because my friends all did, and I’ll be completely honest, he doesn’t make the best choices. He is flawed and easily manipulated and sometimes insensible and insensitive but that’s sort of what makes him human. He’s the most human out of all the tua characters. His power is the least important, the least special/original (I firmly believe that the siblings were ranked least to most powerful, so Luther would be the least) and he hardly ever got that sense of validation from his siblings, so he would turn to his father. Ohohohoho, I wish I could murder Reginald. He was so fucking manipulative to this poor dude. Let’s try to unpack this. Although like I said I believed the siblings were ranked rather backwards, they didn’t know that in the show (of course. It’s just a headcanon, after all.), Reginald Hargreeves ranked them for a reason. Luther was put in first because he’s the ‘strong one’, the ‘reliable one’ and it’s A Lot. I mean, we’ve all watched Encanto (have we?) and we’ve seen how stress can really grate on a person. Being put in first- all the time, always, without even a choice in how you were ranked in that manner- is A Lot A Lot. And no, I’m not saying this to excuse everything Luther did- locking up Vanya, throwing Five off the stairs- they were bad moves. Very bad moves. He made some very bad decisions that are very messed up, but I implore you to look deeper than just the surface. Luther is just a fucked- up monkey man who’s trying his best. He does what he thinks is best for the fam. It’s not always right. But that’s ok. He learns from his mistakes and tries to help and be more compassionate, even though he kisses his sister, which, honestly, I do kinda hate him for that, incest is gross and every time I see him flirting with Allison I immediately say ‘sWEET HOME ALABAMA’ but he has reasons for being the way he is. Nature vs nurture, right? And his was nurture. Maybe he was insensitive about being sent to the moon, but honestly, imagine how you would feel. Feeling validated and important for once, without a number, and then you realize it was all a con. I’d feel devastated, and that’s how Luther felt.

Conclusion: Luther isn’t as terrible as he seems on the surface, and his behavior is mostly a matter of Reginald Sucking At Being A Parent

#Luther Hargreeves #number one #sunbow rants #sol is tired #tua analysis #tua headcanon #the umbrella academy #tua

[trashhm0uth69]

If you had to choose a favorite, who would be your fav out of the bowers gang

WHY IS THIS THE FIRST QUESTION???

But cha know, I hate mostly all of them. I can't even say mostly, I mean ALL. I can explain!

Henry is pretty self explanatory, I mean look at the guy. He's a huge dick.. but I bet in reality it's teeny weeny. Plus he tried TO KILL US??? DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID TO BEN???? Carpet mullet can suck it, least favorite.

Patrick is a freak show, that's the best way to put it. He was the guy who took a massive steaming shit in my backpack. You know how gross that is? I opened it up AND KA-BOOM LARGE TURD. Sure he's like super fucking nuts, but didn't try to mutilate us so slightly better than Henry.

Reginald or Belch, whatever you guys call him, is decent. Ben told me he was the only guy who tried to stop Henry from slicing 'nd dicing him. I just don't get where the nickname Belch came from? Is it because of his enormous burps? Do they stink so bad they can clear a room? WHO DECIDED HIS NAME IS BELCH??

I like Victor, some what.. he's better than the rest. Seems like an easy going guy. Only complaint I got about Victor is that hair man, that shit be reflecting the sun with how blonde it is. I could probably get a sunburn by standing next to him. OTHER THAN HIS.... BRIGHT ASS HAIR, HE'S PRETTY OKAY.

So moral of the story, Victor is my favorite. Maybe even Belch.

#trashhm0uth69 #richierichqna #richie tozier #bowers gang #it 2017

[in-tua-deep]

au where five found out about vanya's powers in the apocalypse? Like maybe he found Reggie's book or he saw the eyes of vanya's corpse?

oh man like. that would be interesting to be sure, if Five managed to find Reginald’s book in the apocalypse

(He doesn’t read it at first, not for a few months after he finds it. He opened to the page that detailed Reginald’s experiments with how long Deigo could hold his breath in clinical unfeeling words and has to put it away while he breathed - not too deeply though, he didn’t want to breathe in more ash than necessary)

But he eventually does. He sits Dolores up and rages and vents to her, cursing Reginald’s name with every new sordid detail, every new terrible sin he now knows to hurl at Reginald’s feet. He reads no great loss under his section and he’s too dehydrated to weep but something breaks inside his chest nevertheless

(He’d never thought that dad loved them, not really. He might have hoped, back when he was little but he knew better now. He was thirteen, old enough to know better. But he’d at least thought that dad found them useful. 

Five had tried to hard, trained so much, been so adaptable. Even then he was no great loss.)

Five finds out from Reginald’s book about Ben’s death. Cold words that describe the way his brother died. Reginald seemed to care more about Ben’s death than Five’s presumed death, but that could be becuase Ben’s power was always bigger than Five’s. More violent. More efficient. Of course Ben was a greater loss, Five’s power wasn’t even inherently useful for fighting.

(Klaus’s power wasn’t useful for fighting either. Reading Dad’s dismissive words calling Klaus a failure makes him bristle. Reading about Reginald locking Klaus away in the mausoleum for days make Five want to hurl the book against the wall.)

Finding out about Vanya is - it’s weird. Vanya was always so ordinary. He loved her of course, for fucks sake he was the only one who cared to interact with her half the time. He loves all of his siblings but he has no illusions about how casually cruel they could be to one another.

But he reads about her powers and clenches his fists and wonders what Reginald would have done if Five had stayed, if Five had kept on his path of rebellion. Would Reginald have drugged him, too?

(Reginald had the power to take their powers away. Five wonders what Klaus thought when he found out, if he had cursed and sworn and raged at the man who watched his son suffer and turn to drugs to deal with seeing things no child should ever see. Reginald had the power to help, and he tortured Klaus instead.)

Because - of course Five assumes that they know. He reads Vanya’s books as well when he comes across it, tucking it into his wagon. He wonders when the truth came out, because the rage that drips from those pages is very real. Vanya doesn’t mention her powers in the book of course, but she would have been what, in her 20s when she wrote it? 

Vanya said in her book that she left home at 18, which means she’s had years to get the drugs out of her system and discover what their father had taken from her. Did she think that they knew? That they had kept it from her? Is that why the pages of her book drip with bone deep hurt, making Five’s fingers shake with the ache of them

(Or it could be the hunger, a now constant companion)

Five keeps both books close, even though he wants to vandilize Reginald’s book half the time. It’s strange to see the insight on them and their powers from the perspective of a scientist, odd to see the written results of the torture they went though

(He almost rips the page on the effects of electricity on his warping powers out on principle, but he just ends up curled around Dolores as he trembles involuntarily at the memories)

Five has so few belongings when he is recruited to the Commission, or at least has very few personal ones. He leaves Dolores behind in the apocalypse with a heavy heart but she’s too big to take with him. Too big to hide.

(Five always learned to only take what you can hide, because what you can’t hide will always be used against you.)

He tucks Reginald’s notebook in the waistband on his pants, the hard edges against his back a constant almost reassuring pressure. Vanya’s book gets pushed into one of his deep pockets. The glass eye gets shoved into his sock the same way he used to hide scavenged bills and quarters he would then place beneath the floorboards of his room

(He wonders absently if his money stash was ever found, but it doesn’t really matter now does it?)

He goes through the Commission with the knowledge that he has a bomb hidden away. As much as he keeps the notebook around out of a sense of sentiment he knows he doesn’t want it to fall into the hands of the commission, doesn’t want them to have this dissection of his powers on hand

(he has so little of his siblings left, just the bitter words of Reginald and Vanya both - the irony is that no matter how much Vanya extolled being excluded she had constantly been by Reginald’s side to write down observations, listening to his words, by his side more than any of them. sometimes he reads Vanya’s vicious words and hears the echo of their father in them. It makes sense. He still hates it, just a little bit)

He writes his equations into Vanya’s book instead of Reginald’s. He doesn’t like to read the red book, only opens it to look at the photos included so that he won’t forget what his siblings look like, tries to ignore the words that detail exactly how much force it takes to pop Luther’s bones out of his oh-so-durable joints

He solves them one day, or at least comes close. Closer than he ever had before, and he figures why not? Time for another little experiment. Who knows? Maybe he’ll add this one to dad’s book.

He pushes, and pushes, and then he falls and he’s in a courtyard he hasn’t seen in decades staring at people he hasn’t spoken to in just as long. He looks at them all with wide eyes

(He looks at Allison and hears his father’s clipped tone stating how Allison in improving at overriding survival instincts, he looks at Luther and hears Vanya’s childish voice accusing him of caring more about being a hero than anything else in his life, including his family, he looks at Klaus and sees a face covered in ash and blood with unseeing eyes)

He looks down at himself and sees smaller hands with smoother skin, absent of the burn marks from the variety of fires he’d set in the apocalypse, absent of the crooked knuckles from when he’d crushed two fingers in some rubble trying to get to a can of food, absent of the cracked and brittle nails from malnutrition and food issues

“Shit.” He says, with feeling.

He can feels the press of the glass eye against his leg, the solid weight of Vanya’s book in his pocket, the edges of Reginald’s notebook digging into his skin as he hauls himself off the ground and into a standing position.

They have a family meeting in the kitchen.

Sort of. Five flits about, snagging bread and peanut butter and marshmallow fluff from the cupboard to make himself a sandwich, trying to avoid looking too desperately eager. He hasn’t had his favorite food in so long that the anticipation is actually insane.

“What’s the date?” Five asks, and learns that he doesn’t actually have all that long until the end of the world. But hey, it’s doable. Probably. Unless the reason the world ended was like, political nuclear war or something? But there would probably be survivors of that somewhere, so it was more likely something bigger scale.

(It has to be something he can stop, or this was all for nothing. He refuses to believe he doesn’t have a chance.)

“Cool, so like, the world is ending.” Five says, because why the fuck not? He has all his siblings in one room (except Ben, he has failed Ben, will always have failed Ben because he’s a coward who couldn’t return to a time when Reginald Hargreeves was alive) and he has Reginald and Vanya’s words pressed into his brain, “We have eight-ish days to fix that.”

“Five, what the hell are you talking about?” Luther demands.

Five waves his hand, “Dad sucked, I time-travelled, the end is nigh. I figured even you could grasp that.”

(His eyes ghost over Luther, skittering about the room. He can’t look at Luther’s body without remembering the cruel diagrams pain stakingly inked into the book as Reginald grumbled about failed experiments.)

“You went to the future?” Diego says, voice full of doubt that make his voice harsh. It’s so much deeper than when Five left, no more of the cracks of puberty.

“No shit.” Five says, and he’s so tired. “I was in that hellscape for forty-five years.”

“Forty-five years?” Diego squawks, as though he’s personally offended.

“That would make you... fifty-eight?” Luther’s voice also has doubt in it, and Five can’t really blame him looking at his squishy little barely teenage body.

“Dad was right,” Five manages to get out without gritting his teeth, “Time travel is a crapshoot and sometimes your body does fun and wacky things on you, blah blah blah trees and acorns.”

“Prove you’re from the future!” Klaus demands, eyes bright as he leans across the table, “What’re the lotto numbers, baby brother?”

“I think they’re ‘fuck you the world had already ended by the time I ended up stuck there,’ Klaus.” Five says, mock thoughtfully before tearing off a chunk of his sandwich.

It tastes like ash and peanut butter. Only Five’s genuine trauma regarding food waste and the fact that most things tasted like ash in the apocalypse have him still chewing his food and swallowing.

“Rude.” Klaus says, making a ‘blat’ noise in disappointment.

“Dad’s rich as fuck, wasn’t him kicking the bucket essentially like winning the lottery?” Five points out, and this time it is Luther squawking at him in disapproval.

“Don’t talk about Dad like that!” He demands, and Five has some more uncharitable thoughts about the way Luther’s arms flex just a little unnaturally underneath that big trenchcoat.

“I like this version of Five better.” Klaus declares, looking like Christmas has come early.

“Dad was murdered and you guys don’t even care.” Luther spits out, looking very offended.

“You were murdered and I care very much about that.” Five retaliates, and the entire kitchen goes quiet.

“Can you elaborate a little, Five?” Allison says, ever the diplomat.

(That’s a lie. Allison started more fights than Diego, probably. She just got caught way less often.)

“Well. I mean, I dunno if murdered is the right word considering everyone was dead. You might have just been collateral damage, who knows? Does murder imply intent?”

“Everyone was dead?” Vanya says, voice very quiet.

Five shrugs, then nods, then shrugs again. He doesn’t like thinking about it. “Yeah, but that’s not going to happen this time.”

“I don’t have time for this nonsense.” Luther mutters, and Five valiantly tries to ignore him. 

“Five, are you - are you sure you’re alright?” Vanya’s voice wobbles and she looks like she wants to reach out and hold him or something ridiculous like that. She looks at him with big sad brown eyes, “Dad did say that time travel could... mess with you a little.”

Allison nods and oh, Five does not have time for this bullshit. 

“I have proof.” He says, and he reaches back and pulls out Reginald’s red notebook and slams it onto the table.

“Is that Dad’s - ” Luther cuts himself off, looking at the notebook with wide eyes.

It is very clearly beaten up to hell and back. Ash has stained the edges of the pages grey and there may or may not be a gouge across the front from a near miss with a bullet while working at the commission. It is a book that has clearly been through hell.

Five also dig’s Vanya’s equally beaten up book from his pocket to dump on the table as well, equally stained with ash and barely held together after being read over and over again for decades, including being used as a notebook in the final years.

(Vanya lets out a little gasp, hand flying up to her mouth with the knowledge that at least one of her siblings read her book. Certainly not the one she thought it would be.)

Five reaches into his sock to pull out the glass eye triumphantly, setting it down on his small stack of treasures.

“What the fuck?” Diego is the one to ask.

“If I time travelled from that day in 2002 to right now, how the fuck would I have Vanya’s book?” Five says triumphantly, “It came out in 2015.”

“Why do you have an eye?” Allison sounds slightly horrified.

“It’s the key to figuring out who caused the apocalypse.” Five says, turning it over in his hands, “It’s gotta have something to do with it at least.”

“Why does he have Dad’s notebook?” Luther demands, sounding equally outraged.

“Found it.” Five shrugs, like the little scavenger he is.

(Emphasis on little. His suit still almost fits, and reading the numbers in Reginald’s notebook versus seeing how fucking tall all his siblings got in person is frankly unfair.)

“Oh my god, okay.” Allison says, throwing her hands up in the air like they’re all nuisances. It’s a familiar Allison look, and Five actually feels a little soothed by the memory. “So the world is ending, Five is back from the dead, and our only clue is a goddamn eye?”

“I was never dead.” Five points out, “But basically, yeah.”

“I don’t have time for this, I have to get back to my daughter.” Allison says, shaking her head.

“I mean if you want Claire to live I would think stopping the apocalypse would kind of be a priority.” 

This draw Allison to a halt from where she’d been gathering herself to leave, “You... know her name?”

Five makes the executive decision to not mention the torn out magazine cover featuring his sister and niece that is pressed between some of the pages in Reginald’s journal. “I’d like to meet her one day.”

Just like that, Allison has been won over.

“Do you think it has something to do with whoever murdered Dad?” Luther asks seriously, even if the question makes Diego groan like this is an argument they have had before.

“Who knows?” Five shrugs, “But if we’re splitting into investigation teams, I call Vanya.”

Vanya startles from where she has been sitting quietly, “Me?” She asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah.” Five nods, “I mean, with Ben gone you’re probably the team’s heaviest hitter.”

“What?” Several voices ring out in confusion.

Five blinks, a little confused himself. Unless - “Wait, did you never train your powers?”

“Five,” Vanya says slowly, like she’s explaining a simple concept to a particularly dim child, “I don’t have powers.”

This was - this was unexpected. Why did he not think of this explanation? It’s just - he has now known about Vanya’s powers for like way longer than he hasn’t. It’s almost second nature to think of Vanya as having powers by now. And she doesn’t know.

“Oh boy.” He says, picking up Reginald’s notebook, “This debriefing may take a bit longer than I first thought. Oh, and at some point we should probably cut the tracker out of my arm as well.”

“The what out of your what?”

Yeah the day doesn’t really get much better from there.

#the red book au #five finds reggie's journal in the apocalypse #and so he is very familiar with his sister's powers!! isn't that fun #he's also like 50% more spiteful because actually Fuck Reginald Hargreeves #he is the president of the Dad Sucks Club #because he has the notebook he's been essentially planning his apocalypse game plan for years #with the power of strategy and knowing his siblings powers inside out #or at least to the extent reggie understood them #so he's much more MISSION REPORT when he gets to 2019 #time to debrief the squad on what the fuck is up #five lets the cat out of the bag so early lmao #fuck u leonard #five: haha yeah i want vanya on my team so i can see her sick ass powers in action #the family: her WHAT #five: *surprised pikachu face* #five has spent so long in the apocalypse with dolores who knows what he is thinking #that he struggles with the concept that people don't know what he knows sometimes #me pointing at vanya's book and reginald's notebook: there are both traumatizing to read #Anonymous #long post #far tua long

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

_________________________

Pt 30 - Countdown to Chaos

After Five had vanished to go make a deal with the devil, you stood in the emptiness of the night staring at the spot where he had been. You weren't sure how you thought the night was supposed to go but it definitely didn't go the way it should've. It was a mess, an absolute clusterfuck, and yet, you weren't surprised. Of course, the Hargreeves were going to have a hard time confronting their father. They hadn't seen the man in years, especially Five, who had seen him last when he ran away from home and got stuck. You knew their trauma was long-lasting but they could've worked together rather than working against each other. And now here you all were, separated again and having to go down even more risky channels to get out of this god-forsaken timeline. You shook your head and let out a sigh as there was nothing left to do tonight but go home. Slowly you turned away from the building and walked the block slowly to where Charlie said he'd be parked. As you approached you made your way over to the passenger side and opened the door. Charlie looks over towards you and immediately notices the look on your face.

"Oh it was BAD bad, wasn't it?" He asks

As you got in the passenger seat you slumped down in it and replied,

"Immensely so."

"I called it. I knew having them get together with their dad was going to be worse than yesterday." Charlie comments as he starts to drive away

You knew he was right and he did call it but this was not the place to be doing so. The world was on a collision course and you were right in the path of destruction. You turn your head to look at him as you state,

"This is no time for bragging Charlie, things got really messed up."

"Well, it's not like you revealed your powers," Charlie says nonchalantly

You place your face in your hands as you slump further into your seat. Charlie takes a glance over to you as he drives and questions,

"You didn't reveal your powers, right?"

Taking your face out of your hands you look towards him with an awkward grimaced expression but don't say any words. Charlie glances back over and you and when he realizes you're not saying anything he slams on the breaks stopping the car. His eyes go wide as he quickly states,

"(Y/N), this is bad."

"I know!" you exclaim

"(Y/N) this is really bad. How did this happen?" He replies, a hint of panic in his voice

"I didn't really plan on doing it but then Reggie was going on a tirade at Diego and Diego was getting so sad and so I got mad and I threw a knife at Reggie and became visible and then I had to explain myself and then I got angrier and started showing off my powers and now he knows I have powers and I really fucked up." You rant frantically

"Oh no, this is bad...this is bad."

"That's not even the worst part." You complain

"What could be worse than showing your powers to Reginald?!"

"HE SAID HE WAS MY FATHER!" You yell

"Oh god, that IS worse!" Charlie exclaims back "Oh this is so bad. This is really really bad (Y/N)."

"I know and like...I love all the Hargreeves dearly, even Luther who is being a dick to me right now, but holy shit when everyone gets together everything falls apart and so fast. Like surprisingly fast."

"What do we do? Do you have a plan? You have a plan right?" Charlie asks distressed

"Well, I don't think I can get Allison to rumor him into forgetting I have powers because that would require getting her to see him in person again and having the two of them talk long enough that she can rumor him which seems unlikely. So in terms of a plan...we have no plan."

"No there has to be a plan." Charlie remarks "Okay okay. What if we all go to Europe? You, me, your boyfriend, and all of his family just up and leave for Europe right now. We'll change our names and start new lives."

"No that wouldn't work."

"Why not?"

"Those people can not effectively gather together even if their life depended on it and I'm pretty sure only you and I have passports at this time so we would be the only ones allowed outside of the country."

"Damn, you're right. "

"Also, on a lesser note, the world is ending in a few days so even if we did all manage to go to Europe it probably would be all for naught."

Charlie sucks in his breath before letting it out defeated. Plopping back into his seat, he looks at the roof of the car before asking,

"So what do we do now then?"

"We go home." You reply quietly

Charlie continues to look up at the ceiling for a bit before letting out a huff. Tilting his head back down to look at the road, he places his hands back on the wheels and slowly starts to drive back to your house. You shook your head disappointment across your face as you thought about the predicament you were in. The predicament you all were in. As you continued to lean back in your seat as you looked at the passing flashes of street lights above. Everything was moving so fast. You knew you would get home at some point no matter how slow Charlie drove or how long the path he drove took and you were worried about what lied at the end of that drive.

Five was not happy with what lied at the end of his journey either. His siblings couldn't keep it together for one evening. Not even an hour. It was ridiculous how unreliable they were. And yet, here he was making his way to the second to last person on earth he'd ask for help to try and get them all back to 2019 where they belonged. He needed to get all of his siblings out of this time but he especially wanted to get you out of here. If he could get everyone back to 2019 then things would be okay and the two of you could have the life together that you deserved.

Five's mind was filled with the thoughts of you. He needed to get you out of this timeline, especially now that this version of his father knew you had powers. He didn't think that his father would hurt you, especially since he had called himself your father, but Reginald was still Reginald and Five was worried about what would come next. You were probably on your way back to the house you shared with that man and any number of things could happen between now and the time he saw you next. He needed to get this contingency plan over with and fast. Arriving at the hotel the handler was staying at he made his way up to the second floor to room 217. As he approached the double-doored room he felt a sense of deja vu. It was only five days for him since he had last met up with her at a different semi-formal hotel room. Five paused in front of the door and took a breath. Raising his hand up he knocked on the door and within seconds the double doors opened to reveal the handler standing behind them. it was as if she knew he was coming. The handler had her signature smile on her face, one that looked happy but hid a sinister nature behind it.

"Ah! Just in time for a nightcap." She commented before heading into the room

Five hesitated for a second before cautiously stepping into the room. He took a look around and the place and once he felt he had scoped it out enough turned around and shut the doors behind him. A critical look was on his face as he approached where the handler stood. With two drinks in her hand and a cigarette between her teeth, the handler turned to look at Five.

"To be clear, I take out the board you get me and my family home. No more doomsday, no more apocalypse. Is that correct?" Five questioned

With a drink in hand, the handler walked over to a nightstand by the bed and picks up a piece of paper before proceeding to slowly lay on her side across the bed. She looks up at Five and replies,

"That's the deal."

Five bites the inside of his cheek as he looks around the room. He really didn't want to do this. He knew that working with her was never going to end well and yet the desire to save you and his family was worth the risk that might come with this deal. Looking back at the handler, Five states,

"Then I'm in."

The handler twiddles a piece of paper in between her fingers before extending it out for Five to take. Five doesn't move from his spot trying not to get any closer to her but leans in slightly so he can grab the paper. Once he takes it from her he unfolds it and reads what it says.

The Lonely Lodger Inn.

Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1982.

"So how do I get there and back?" Five questioned

"I have a briefcase for you. Specifically, programmed for two trips. One to take you to the exact time and place listed on that note where the board is and one to take you right back to Dallas, on the morning of November 22nd, 1963."

Clever. Of course, she wouldn't just hand him a regular briefcase, then he would be able to bring everyone back without having to go kill the board. Five hated how she was one step ahead of him.

"Where is it?" Five asked

"Oh, the briefcase is in the corner over there." The handler replied taking another puff of her cigarette

Five looked towards his right to the corner of the room she had gestured to and saw a briefcase sitting there. Carefully, he made his way over and grabbed it. As he did so he could feel the handler's laser-like gaze on him, boring into his back. It sent an odd feeling down his spine that he didn't appreciate. Picking up the briefcase, he pocketed the note she gave him before turning around and heading towards the door. As Five reaches out for the door handle, the handler comments,

"Y'know Five, I'm getting pretty tired of not getting to meet your sweet little girlfriend in person. I'm sure you're doing this for her, aren't you?"

Five turns on his heel and with vile in his voice retorts,

"My reasons for doing this are none of your business and you will never meet her."

"Aw, don't be so harsh. I just want to see her up close and take a look at that pretty face you happen to love so much." The handler teases

"If you so much as lay a hand on her I will personally make sure that when you are killed you stay dead this time." Five rebukes

He was done with the handler's games. He hated the way that she talked about you, it made his blood boil, and if the handler wasn't the person he needed to help get everyone out of Dallas he probably would've killed her on the spot. He just hoped that you'd never have to see her in person. Turning back around Five opens the door and starts to walk out. From behind her Five can hear the handler call out,

"We'll see Five. I have my ways."

Not looking back Five stated,

"And I have mine."

And just like that, he was gone and on his way to get back to you as soon as possible.

Soon was not soon enough though because with each minute you got closer and closer to arriving back home at the mansion in Dallas. You and Charlie drove down the road towards the house quietly, nervous tension in the air. Both of you worried about what might occur next. As you passed the estate in which Klaus lived with his cult you knew the drive was almost over. Mentally you tried to prepare yourself as the car rolled up into the driveway of the house. Slowly the car came to a stop in front of the main door. You and Charlie both looked towards the door but didn't move from the car. You weren't nervous per se but this was uncharted territory having someone other than Charlie know about your powers, especially since it was Reggie. After a moment the two of you carefully opened the doors to the car and step out. Closing the car door you stare up at the house that only a few days ago you'd comfortably enter and exit with ease. Charlie makes his way around the car and stands next to you. The two of you continue to look up at the towering building as Charlie states,

"We can dip if you want."

A small smile came to your face and you felt a bit better hearing your friend correctly use one of your future words.

"Good usage." you complimented

"Thank you, but I'm serious. We can go. I'll speed us back to town we can find your boyfriend and just...I don't know do something."

You paused for a second. You could run but it wouldn't be like you. You had been in worse situations in life. You had jumped through time and started over when you were 13, you had fought criminals on multiple occasions, you had almost died, and then jumped through time and started over again. A fire built within you as you remembered the fact that you had lived with since you first met Reginald. You were stronger than this man, he had no hold over you.

"No, Charlie. I've been in worse situations. Whatever lies for me on the other side of that door I can deal with it."

Charlie looked towards and saw the determined look in your eyes as you stared at the building. A smirk came to his face as he could see the fire of courage radiating off of you, but Charlie's smirk faltered though. From the start, your strength had always impressed him, and yet even with your evident bravery he couldn't help but worry for you, his only friend. Charlie let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in before saying,

"Okay, let's go."

You gave him a small nod and the two of you walked into the house. As you arrived in the foyer Marie approached you with a smile on her face. With her hands clasped together in front of her, she greeted,

"Welcome home, (Y/N) and hello, Charlie. Sir Hargreeves has requested to speak with you in his office at your earliest convenience."

"Oh, thank you. We'll head there straight away." You formally replied

You and Charlie started to walk in the direction of his office but Marie stepped in front of the two of you blocking the path. A smile still on her face as she added,

"Alone, miss (Y/N)."

You turned to look at Charlie and you could see the concern in his eyes even if the rest of his face looked blank. Turning to your friend you looked up at him and calmly say,

"Go to my room, Charlie."

Charlie looks at you and his mouth opens a little bit as if he was about to say something but you place a hand on his shoulder squeezing it tightly as you look him in the eyes. In a steady tone you direct,

"Go to my room, Charlie."

Charlie lets out a sigh before giving you a small nod and turning away. You watch as he walks up the foyer stairs to head to your room before turning away and walking towards the office. When you arrive at where the office was you see the door is already open and Reginald is sitting behind his desk vigorously writing in his notebook. Stepping into the doorway you speak in a flat tone,

"You requested my presence?"

"Yes. Take a seat." Reginald replies not looking up from his writing "And get the door will you."

You let out a small huff before walking into the room and closing the door behind you. Approaching him you sit in a chair on the opposite side of the desk, displeasure on your face. You watch as he continues to write not saying anything or even looking up at you. Rolling your eyes you start the conversation,

"Why am I here Reggie?"

Placing his pen down, he stops writing in his notebook and looks up to focus on you. Clasping his hands together he places them on his desk as he responds formally,

"I have questions."

"About what?" you question unenthused

"You, for one" He states, "But also my apparently seven adopted children, and this awful future you all seem to mention."

Your head tilts to the side curiously as a wry smile appears on your face. Crossing your arms you lean back into your chair and look at him. A Latin phrase you had heard many times came to your mind.

"Saepe ne utile quidem est scire quid futuram sit," You spoke

The phrase meaning, often it is not advantageous to know what will be. There was an irony to the words as the person who had said them to you so many times was the man sitting before you. Granted, he had said this to you during the years you lived with him in the future, but it was ironic nonetheless. Reginald's eyebrows raised at your words, looking almost impressed with your response. Leaning forward slightly Reginald replies,

"Sapiens autem semper ad futurum parari."

Knowing Reginald, he would figure out the answers to his questions by whatever means he had to. You were not a fan of the idea of talking about the future with him but if you answered his questions you could at least shape the narrative. Letting out a small breath you uncrossed your arms and sat upright. Reluctantly you nodded towards him, agreeing to whatever line of questioning he had in mind, but added,

"I'll answer questions but I get to decide on how much information is given."

"Fair enough." He responds, reopening his notebook "You were born on the same day as my alleged children?"

"They are your children." You state "and yes, I was on October 1st, 1989 at 12 p.m. sharp like all the others that day."

"But you mentioned you had a father back at dinner." Reginald comments

You paused for a moment. It had been so long since you fully stopped and thought about your dad. It was so long since you last saw him, almost a decade at this point, but you did have a father, and he was the best one you could've asked for. Speaking up again you said,

"I did. He was not biologically related to me but he raised me as if I was. All the children born that day were spontaneous. The women were not pregnant when the day started but by noon all of them had given birth."

"Curious." Reginald remarks

He takes down some notes before looking up at you again and inquiring,

"So if you had your own family, how did you come about mine?"

"Accidentally." You answer curtly

"Elaborate." Reginald requests

You paused again to think about how to word the information he was asking for. You and the Hargreeves had already left an impact on this timeline which made you concerned about the impacts on the future. Although there was a chance everything would be normal upon your return to 2019, you still wondered what could happen given your involvement in the 1960s. You had to be careful with how much you spoke because if the timeline was changed you suspected he might try to find and adopt you. It's not like your mother would even consider giving you up, nor did she ever report the details of your spontaneous birth to anyone other than your father, so you were not one of the 43 he would know about but still...it was risky. You needed to express enough information to quell his curiosity but not enough to implicate yourself and your family.

"My family was around the mansion up north, close enough that the rumors of an eccentric billionaire adopting seven mysterious children, born the same day and time as me, who never left the house, made their way to my parents' ears. They outright told me not to go near the house but curiosity got the best of me and I went anyway." You explain "I used my powers to get through the gates and became invisible to sneak into the courtyard. I just went to have a look around but instead, I was accidentally pushed over a bench and that's when I first came in contact with your family. Specifically, your son Five."

"The one you're partnered with." Reginald certifies

"Correct." You affirm

Reginald turns back down to look at his notebook and writes more in it. You couldn't really see what he was writing but the number of lines of words appearing down on the paper made you both curious and concerned.

"A peculiar first meeting, but I've probably heard worse," Reginald utters as he continues to write

"Oh, thanks." You remarked sarcastically, rolling your eyes

No matter the situation or person he always seemed to find a way to criticize things.

"And the rest of them?"

"I had been using my powers to spend time with Five without being noticed but at some point, we were found out. We came clean and soon after I was introduced to the rest of the children." You say, recalling that first meeting with his siblings

Oh, how simple times were when you were all small and young and the biggest problem you faced was getting enough time to hang out between you going to school and them fighting crime. Things were better back then. Easier. And once again you wondered what life would've been like if Five hadn't jumped all those years ago. You were pulled out of your nostalgic thoughts when you heard Reginald go,

"Interesting."

Placing his pen down Reginald turns back to you.

"I'm assuming the children were under my instruction with their powers, so why are you more powerful and less problematic than them?"

It took a second to register his words but when you did you tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows at him. Did he really just ask that? How dare he speak about them like that. You knew that he had only met them in passing so it was infuriating to you that he'd to even be making such statements. Now, was he technically correct? Yes. But it didn't give him the right to do so because he didn't know them so he had no basis to talk about such matters. You let out a huff as you started to explain,

"Why am I more powerful? Well, for one I kind of won the power lottery. The power to manipulate molecules, the things that make up our existence, generally can cast a wider net of potential abilities than super strength or rumoring people to do things. Their powers are valid and useful but it's hard to diversify those assets."

As you thought about how you needed to explain this to Reginald you could feel a fire build within you. You sat upright in your chair, with your shoulder back and your arms firmly seated on the armrests, hands forming into fists. You stared him down as he waited for more of a response and when you had formed your thoughts you chastised,

"On top of that, I chose to develop my powers naturally. My parents helped build a foundation so I wouldn't blow the house up or get stuck in a wall but after that, I dictated if I wanted to learn or not. There was no forcing, coercion, or expectations. I learned because I wanted to and my parents supported my efforts with love. It might sound cliche but love truly is the most powerful force in this world, and I'm less 'problematic' as you put it because you didn't raise me. I was raised with that love."

Reginald looked at you quietly, readjusting himself in his seat before saying,

"Are you insinuating that the reason that group was an uncouth disgrace to my legacy was due to my parentage?"

"Insinuating? No. Stating? Yes." you retorted

"Oh really now?" He questioned

"Your children have their issues, but it was of no fault of their own. It was you who instilled these deep-rooted traumas and conflicts in them and provided them with no parental guidance on how to deal with these issues. They had no support system. They were child soldiers rather than children. You gave them numbers one through seven and reduced them to a ranking scale." You berated

You stared at Reginald intensely and he could see the fire in your eyes. Literal fire in your eyes that were red and flickered like glowing embers. Your emotions boiling over to the point where you were starting to physically express them with your power. Reginald's eyes widened as he saw the power you held. Picking up his pen he began to take more notes, but you felt as if you were going to explode if you continued to sit in the chair across from him. Getting up quickly you walked away from the seat and across the room to look out the window. Facing away from him you continued to say,

"And when they were all gone you gave me the number zero because you thought I was better than them. I rejected that number because I am a person and I am not better than them. But the reason you like me so much, the reason you've always liked me better, placed me higher, whether you explicitly showed it or not, is because I'm everything you wanted them to be that they never became. And why is that? Because I was raised as a human not an object of violence."

"So I'm the problem," Reginald replied

"Yes, and the problems only got worse after the incident." You stated

"Where Five ran away into the future and brought you with him?" Reginald suggested

Your eyes went wide as you whipped around to face him, the angry fire within you building as you demanded,

"How do you know about that?"

Reginald looked at you calmly and said,

"He told me when I pulled him away to chat."

You stopped for a second as you processed his words. You didn't expect Five to tell him about that but perhaps he felt open enough to do so. You thought about that day, the one where everything changed, and everyone was put into a more difficult situation than before. Your anger started to fade as you thought about your darker days post jump and the horrors Five had dealt with. Letting out a breath you started to calm down and looking towards the ground you quietly explained,

"Well, yes that was the incident. He got stuck in a wasteland, I was dropped into 2013 where everything that I knew was gone, and the rest of your children had to deal with the fallout of Five's rash decision."

"Unfortunate." Reginald curtly commented

You looked up towards him and looked back towards you. You could see some type of shift in his demeanor before he continued,

"He also mentioned that he spent 45 years in said apocalypse and is most likely older than I am now. Was that in jest? Because it didn't come off that way. And if so I don't know how comfortable I am with you dating someone almost 3 times your age even if he is both my son and the most competent boy I've met so far."

Oh god, not this again. He was acting as a parent. As your father. Disgusting. Your anger and sadness completely faded away and your witty and sarcastic demeanor returned in full swing.

"That's too bad buckaroo." You responded "He looks my age and that's what people are going to notice. Also, he's my best friend, you don't get a say in my dating life, I do what I want."

"Ugh, insolent child. Whatever will I do with you?" Reginald asked rhetorically as he shook his head in disappointment

"Not sure, but something is comforting about you sounding just like the Reggie from the future Umbrella Academy. But let me be honest here, Umbrella Academy is kind of a stupid name. I mean it's on-point branding given your business but it doesn't inspire anything." You explained in a joking yet critical tone

Reginald sat back in his chair as he listened to you rant and criticize the academy he had created. Picking up his pen he began to jot down notes about the criticisms you were giving.

"And don't get me started on that dumb motto. Ut Malum Pluvia." you rant "When evil reigns? I mean I appreciate a good play on words and I can commend you for that but it's so...depressing. You expected your children to save the world with such a hope-crushing motto sewn on their uniform?"

"Well then what would you do?" Reginald asked looking up from his writing

"If I was the parent of seven super-powered children and created an academy with the purpose of saving the world I'd probably take some influence from my mom because she was so bright and hopeful for me before the incident happened and that hope she instilled in me kept me going after."

"So what would you call your academy then?"

You thought for a moment about your mother. The one who unexpectedly gave birth to you and yet called you her own the minute you were born. The one who gave everything to make sure you had the best life. The one who raised you to be the best you could be. The same one who loved and protected you, and whose memory helped to keep you going after you had both disappeared in your own ways. You faded into your thoughts as you recalled the many experiences you shared with her and settled on the one that stood out most.

"The Sparrow Academy." you answered genuinely "My mother used to take me out on summer nights and early mornings before the sun came up to hear the sparrows sing. They were her favorite bird and she always told me that a sparrow's song in the dark leads to a brighter future."

"Canticum in Tenebris." Reginald spoke

"Yes, a song in the dark. Every little bit would all be influenced by her. I have loved many people in my life but if I had to be a part of some academy of children, I'd do it if it was in memory of her."

Reginald finished penning down all that you had said to him and looked up towards you once more. Looking back you broke the silence and asked,

"Do you have any more questions?"

"No."

"Well if we're done here I will be heading to my room because, in all honesty, you terrify Charlie and the longer I stay here the more he'll probably assume I'm dead."

Walking towards the door of the office you hear Reginald's voice from behind you,

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodbye, Reginald."

As you walk out and close the door to the office you make your way back to the foyer so that you could head upstairs to your room. As you do so you see Grace standing in the foyer looking at some piece of paper. When she looks up and sees you she folds the paper up and places it in the pocket of her cardigan.

"Hey, sweetie," She greets

"Oh hey, mom," you respond

"I saw you came from the direction of Reggie's office. Is everything alright?" She asks

"Oh yeah, we were just discussing my new car." You lied

Your mom didn't seem to pick up on your lie though. Instead, she looked around the foyer before taking a step closer to you.

"Well, that's nice." She said "You know what I was thinking? How about you and I pack up all our stuff and take a long trip?"

You were confused as to why she was speaking in a lower tone of voice. It was as if she was trying to hide something or keep others from listening. You lowered your voice a bit as well but tried to act as if everything was normal.

"That sounds fun. Is Reggie coming?" You inquired

"I have to talk with him about his work and then we'll see if he comes along." She answers

"Oh. Alright." You said

Your mom took another step towards you and leaned in closer, cupping your face in her hands. There was a smile on her face as she held you but the emotion in her eyes was less so of happiness and more so of concern. Looking you directly in the eyes your mom quietly states,

"Great, now you go pack everything. Okay?"

Her tone of voice was less like a suggestion and more like a command. And the way she emphasized the word everything took you back a little bit and sent a small chill down your spine. You looked at your mom for answers but she said nothing more.

"Uh." you paused before hesitantly continuing "Okay mom."

Your mom let go of your face and pulled you into a tight hug. Without another word, she walked off towards the living room and you headed up to your room. Opening the door you see Charlie sitting on your bed vigorously bouncing his leg, his hands clasped together so tightly that his knuckles were turning extremely white. When he heard the door open his head shot up to look at you and he sprang off the bed. You entered the room and closed the door behind you before turning back to your friend.

"Are you okay?" He questioned concerned

"I'm fine. Although I did just have a very odd conversation with my mom."

"What happened?"

"I'm honestly not sure. She seemed slightly paranoid and told me to pack up all my stuff. It's not like her." You explained as you paced about your room

"Is she trying to make a run for it with you?" Charlie asked

"Maybe? I don't know." you answered "Although I don't even know what would have her so worried that she wants us to run away, especially since she was completely fine this morning."

"That's very odd." Charlie comments "So what happened with Sir Reginald?"

"Quite a bit. Why don't you take a seat." You suggested

Charlie sat down on the foot of your bed as you paced in front of him recounting as best as you could what had happened in your meeting with Reginald. As you started to detail the events, Five had finally finished his journey to get to you. It took a bit given the fact that where you were and where the handler was were practically on the opposite side of town. The hotel the handler was staying in was nice enough but it still was on the lesser side of Dallas, while you were living in the more affluent area. Five had to navigate his way across town but at least he knew exactly where you were. When he had found the invitation to the Mexican Consulate the address listed on the envelope was not that of 82 Olive Street where the D.S. Umbrella Manufacturing Company was located so he assumed it was sent to the house in which you lived. Carefully, he made his way up the driveway making sure to not be seen by anyone. As he did so he saw Charlie's convertible parked out front confirming that you were here. Making his way around the back he stood in the cover of the trees as he looked through the windows to see if he could find you. On the backside of the house, he could see you in what he assumed to be your room pacing about the place. He needed to get your attention but didn't want to accidentally startle you and alert his presence to the whole mansion and he didn't even know if you were alone in the room as well. Looking around for something he saw some pebbles on the ground. Picking one up he threw it at your balcony door.

From inside, you and Charlie stopped talking and both turned your heads toward the balcony as you heard a small sound of something outside.

"What was that?" You asked

"I don't know." He responded

The two of you stayed quiet as you waited for anything else to happen. After a few moments, the sound of a small ping on the glass of your balcony door could be heard. Charlie stood up from the bed and two of you looked at each other for a second. Slowly, you both approach the balcony doors and as you did another ding could be heard. Looking down onto the balcony you saw a few small rocks scattered.

"Someone is throwing rocks at your window," Charlie said

"Well, as long as it's not Hoyt's son Halvor outside I think it'll be okay." You commented

"I now hope it's Halvor." Charlie replies "I want a Romeo and Juliet scenario but you outright insult him instead."

You rolled your eyes at Charlie as you carefully opened the doors to the balcony and stepped onto it to look down at the ground below. Fortunately, it was not Halvor and instead was your beloved Five. Turning to look back at Charlie you stated,

"It's Five, Charlie."

"Aw man," Charlie says disappointed "It's just regular Romeo and Juliet for me I guess..."

"You're a dork." You replied

"Hey!" He exclaimed

You ignored him though and turned to look back at Five who looked up at you with a smile on his face.

"What are you doing here?" You asked in a hushed tone

"I have a plan to get us out of here." He replies mimicking your tone as he holds up a briefcase

You take a look around outside to check that no one is around before waving your boyfriend up to you and whispering,

"Come up here."

Five nods his head and spatial jumps up to the balcony and steps into your room. You close the door to the balcony behind him and close the drapes so no one can see into your room from the outside anymore. Looking at Charlie you command,

"Lock the door."

Charlie gives a quick nod and heads over to the door as you turn your attention back to Five.

"You got a briefcase to bring us back to 2019?" You question

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that..." Five replies "Like I said I went and made a plan with the devil and I got this briefcase but it's programmed to bring me to a certain time and place and then back to Dallas."

"Why is it programmed like that?" Charlie questions as he approaches the two of you

"I have to go and kill the board of directors for the commission and she said she'll give me a briefcase to take us back to 2019 with everything as it should be and no apocalypses in any timeline." Five explains

"I have no clue what any of that means," Charlie replies

"It's alright, Charlie." You comfort before turning back to Five "Are you sure you can trust her on this?"

"I'm not sure but it's the only option we have to get out of here."

"Alright. I'm coming with you then."

"What do you mean?" Five questions

"I don't trust this woman one bit so there's no way I'm letting you do this alone." You explain before turning to Charlie "Charlie, I never knew when this would happen but it's time."

"Oh shit," Charlie exclaims

"Time for what?" Five questions

"THE plan." You say as you head over to your closet

Crouching down you push some boxes to the side before using one of your knives to unscrew the vent in the back. Reaching in you pull out a box before resetting everything to look normal. Grabbing the box you stand up and bring it over to your vanity table. Five and Charlie both make their way over to you and you start to explain the plan.

"Charlie and I came up with this plan a while ago in case I ever needed to sneak out unexpectedly. I knew you would come back so we set this all up in advance if I ever needed to leave to do something like this with you." You detail as you start to take stuff out of the box "I have a note that I'm going to put on the door that says I went to bed early and not to disturb me. The door will stay locked so no one can come in and if someone tries Charlie has time to prepare a story."

As you unpack some more items you quiz Charlie a bit about the plan. It had been about a year and a half since you came up with this thing so you wanted to make sure he still knew what to do.

"Typically the latest I get out of bed is 11 am so if I'm not back by then what should you do?"

"Take the note out of the box that says you left early to on a walk down the road and take my car saying I'm heading to find you. Then I'll drive off to town for the day and wait near a central location for you to come back." Charlie replies

"Correct." you state before adding "If anything else happens you have all the contingency plan materials in the box."

You take the note about going to bed early along with a piece of tape and unlock your door, hanging it up on the outside. Closing the door again you lock it and turn back to the boys. Five looks on with pride at you. You were so smart and always so prepared, but more so you were so sure of yourself that he would return for you that you had put plans in place to be able to leave on a moment's notice. You amazed him more each and every day and reminded him why he had done all the things he did and all the things he was doing now. Finished up with the box you turn to Charlie and state,

"Charlie I believe in you."

Charlie nods his head before wrapping you in a hug and replying,

"Come back soon."

"I will."

Stepping out of the hug, you turn to Five and extend your hand out towards him.

"Ready to follow me?" Five questions

"Always," you answer

With that Five takes your hand and in a flash of blue energy, the two of you travel away out of your room and through time to where you needed to go. When the energy flashed again you were in a completely different place. Steadying yourself you took a few deep breaths. Compared to the last time you time traveled the molecular disturbance didn't hurt as much. Maybe you were getting better at redistributing them. Even though you felt alright Five looked at you with concern. He held your hand a bit tighter and you could see the worried look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He questioned

"I'm alright darling. I'm getting better at managing molecular disturbances...I think." you explain

"That response does not fully fill me with confidence."

"That's too bad, we have a job to do." you remind

Five rolled his eyes at you. He didn't understand how could you just wave off the disturbance you felt like it was nothing, but you made a good point. You had a job to do and the quicker it was over with the better. Five pulled the note out of his pocket that had the place of where the board meeting was happening listed. Looking up at the building in front of the two of you, he confirmed that it was the place. Putting the note back in his pocket he took the briefcase and stashed it behind a large shrub on the backside of the building. With all of that done the two of you made your way to the front of the building. You looked around and saw many people in traditional clothing and the sound of polka music echoed from the building. Five grabbed the door and held it open for you to walk in with him following after. The two of you looked around the place checking to see if anyone out of the ordinary, commission-looking types, were around. You didn't see anything odd, except for the overwhelming amount of polka dancers inside the lodge. You follow Five as he walks over to a woman and says,

"Excuse me."

The woman turns to look at him and replies,

"Uff da. You snuck up on me there. If you're looking for the cookies, we don't put 'em out till 3:00."

"Ooh cookies," you exclaim

No. Wait. You had to focus on the task at hand. No cookies.

"We can hardly wait." Five comments "Uh, do you happen to know where the Midwest Soybean Society is meeting?

"Sure do. Muskellunge Banquet Room. You looking for your parents? They in for the convention?" The woman responds politely

Instead of answering her questions, Five looks off in the distance. You couldn't quite tell what he was looking at but the woman looked at the two of you for a response.

"Yes, our parents are prominent members of the society." you confidently lied

Five looked back towards the woman and held out a dollar before asking curiously,

"Hey, could I get some change?"

"Oh, sure, I'll just look in my purse." She says as she opens a fanny pack "Only a nickel and a couple of dimes. Oh! You... are...in... luck, mister."

The woman hands a few quarters to Five and he takes them in his hand. He looks off to the side as if he was deep in thought and says,

"You know some say the best luck is to die at the right time."

Five then walks off towards where the banquet room was as you and the woman both look on confused. The woman looks back to you and you shoot an apologetic look.

"Um...my boyfriend recently started taking a philosophy course at school. I'm trying to work with him on when it's appropriate to bring up philosophical statements."

The woman silently looks back at you confused and you walk away from her and follow your boyfriend. You can tell there's a shift in his body language as he walks towards the vending machine. He stood up straighter and his movements were stiff. He looked around before starting to place to coins he received in the vending machine. As he did so you approached him and stood by his side. You could see an angry and frustrated look on his face. You watched as he typed in the letter and number combo necessary to get a fudge Nutter Bar.

He loved those immensely. You were the one who introduced those to him when you got a bunch trick-or-treating on Halloween years ago. You knew he and his siblings wouldn't be able to go so you stole a bunch of candy to give to them and jumped over to their house later at night to distribute the sweets. You had given Five a Fudge Nutter bar to try first from the bag of candy and he became obsessed. He took the rest of them before his siblings even got a chance to try but you thought it was cute.

Coming out of your thoughts you notice your boyfriend getting frustrated at the machine. His eyebrows start to furrow and he tenses up more as he aggressively presses the buttons. He then tries to reach his hand through the vending machine door to try and get the bar he paid for out.

"Five what if I-" You start to say

You wanted to suggest using your powers but before you could fully get your words out your Five started to vigorously shake the machine.

"Come on!" He angrily exclaimed

"Uh- Five?" You try again

It is to no avail though as he steps back and starts to bang into the machine with his shoulder in his attempt to free his bar before shaking the machine again but harder. You knew your boyfriend was under an immense amount of stress given back-to-back apocalypses in about a two-week time frame and this stubborn Fudge Nutter was probably his breaking point. Now you knew you could step in and probably ease his tension with some love and compassion but you also had a weird curiosity to see what would happen. As he continued to shake the vending machine Five yelled,

"Stupid mother Fudge Nutter! Fuckin' Fudge Nutter!"

And taking a step back he kicked in the glass on the machine. Realizing what he did Five stopped and scratched the back of his neck. Taking a deep breath he turned towards the doorway which led to the banquet hall the board of directors was meeting in. Walking that way he dragged a finger across the side of a cake resting on a nearby table picking up some icing. You followed behind pulling out a knife and holding it in your hand preparing to fight. Five licked the icing off his finger before looking around and seeing an ax on the wall he grabs it and readjusts it in his hands. You could tell from the everything that he was displaying a high amount of frustration and although given the context it was an understandable expression of his feelings you knew it could lead to are more arduous killing process. You noticed as he started to prep himself to walk in the doorway that lead towards the hall but before he could step through you teleported yourself in front of him. Before he could react you grabbed his face tightly with your free hand pulled him into a forceful kiss. Pulling back and letting go of his face you watched as he blinked a few times in surprise.

"Oh- wow." He commented, "I was not against that in the slightest but um is there a reason?"

You twiddle with your knife as you reply,

"I thought that would be the best way to steady you. From my own experience kills are quicker and more effective if you have a steady balance between your erraticism and logic."

Although he kept a calm exterior, Five was screaming on the inside. His heart racing as if he had just run a marathon. Everything in his logic screamed that this was not the time to be feeling like this. The board that needed to be killed was just around the corner and the time was counting down to another apocalypse. And yet, every other part of said this was the time and screamed for more. Five collected himself and removed one of his hands from the ax to readjust his tie and jacket. Although alarm bells were still going off in his head a smirk appeared on his face as he suggested,

"Well, then I'll have to come to you for steadiness more often then."

Catching his drift, you take a step closer to him and use your free hand to grab him by his tie and pull him closer to you. A playful smirk resembling his own appears on your face as you whisper to him,

"Well how about this, the sooner we get this done and return to 2019 the sooner I'll provide you with some more...steadiness."

Everything screamed louder as a fire built within him. He was going to kill this board as if his life depended on it.

"I like that plan."

You let go of his tie and take a step out of the way of him. He raises his ax back up and prepares himself as you state,

"After you then mon chéri."

A wide smile appears on Five's face and there's a determination in his eyes as he walks through the doors and marches down towards the room that held the board of directors. You turned yourself invisible and followed after him. As Five steps through the door to the room, he can see AJ turn to look at him. There was something about seeing the people whom he both had worked with as a murderous pawn but also was left alone in the apocalypse for decades by that sent him into a rage.

"You!" AJ exclaims "Call security!"

A woman pushes her chair away from the table and towards a phone on a nearby desk. Five quickly takes a swing at her cutting her arm off. While still invisible you decided to turn her brain matter into liquid better her die quickly than slowly bleed out with a chance of survival. From the opposite side of the table, you see a man start to stand up to head towards Five but before he does so you throw your knives at him and land one through his eye socket into his brain and the other in his heart. Transporting yourself over to him you twist both knives in a circular motion ensuring lasting damage and no chance of survival. Revealing yourself you pull both knives out causing blood to splatter on your face and clothing. The board looks at you in shock and you turn to Five with a sadistic smile on your face and ask,

"What? You thought you could have all the fun without me?"

"Never, darling." Five replies, a twisted smile appearing on his own face

The two of you turn to look at the living members of the board for a moment but within seconds start jumping around the room taking board members out. Blood and carnage covered yourselves and the room as corpses were littered around the place. With the rest of the members taken out, you went to stand behind AJ while Five stood on the table in front of him. As you looked up at Five, ax in hand, and covered in blood, with a chaotic fire in his eyes you could not help how attracted you were to him at this moment. As Five towered over him, AJ questioned,

"She sent you, didn't she?"

"Does it really matter now?" Five replied

"Whatever she offered you, I will double it, triple it," AJ begged

"I'm not doing this for money." Five exclaimed as he lifted the ax to swing at AJ

Before the ax could connect with the fish tank of a head AJ had the lady from earlier tackled Five to the ground.

"Get off me!" Five yelled

"You're gonna pay for that vending machine, little mister." The lady said as she grappled with him

With the sudden action, you were pulled out of your thoughts and say AJ start to run away but also Five on the ground. As much as you wanted to help your boyfriend you knew getting AJ was better and ran after him. Having him in your sights you used your powers to make his legs denser, slowing him down followed by throwing knives into his thigh and shoulder.

Back on the board room Five continued to grapple with the lady.

"I don't wanna hurt you, all right?" Five tried to explain

The lady punches him in the face before angrily replying,

"Hurt me? Oh, I ain't afraid of you, you little pus ball."

Five was tired of dealing with the woman though and punched her back knocking her out cold. Getting up he takes a look around the room and sees that neither you nor AJ was in the room.

"Shit." He says aloud

Grabbing a rugby-looking paddle off the wall he flashed out of the room and flashes in front of AJ. As he does, he notices how slowly AJ is moving, as if his legs were made of concrete. Looking up he sees you leaning against a nearby wall nonchalantly eating a piece of cake. Looking over to him you say,

"Oh, hey babe. I saved him for ya."

You had never called him babe before and it was not helping him deal with the intense feeling of screaming going on within him and yet it also did. With that one word, he could feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins. He felt...powerful. Cocking his head to the side he looked at AJ maniacally as he held the paddle in his hand.

"Surely we can come to some form of agreement that benefits both parties. Quid pro quo? What do you say?" AJ suggested

"Why not? Here's your quid." Five says hitting him in the side

"Here's your pro." Five adds catching him with the paddle in the knee

"No! No! Please don't!" 

"Here's your quo." Five stated firmly

Swinging hard he smashes the glass head that contained AJ in it leaving water and glass everywhere. Five takes a few deep breaths as he stares at the flopping fish on the floor. As he does so you see two girls in polka dresses walk out and see the scene before turning back into the dance hall. Placing your slice of cake down you summon all your knives back before heading over to Five and placing a hand on his arm grabbing his attention.

"We need to get out of here."

Five looks around at the scene and grabs a nearby plastic bag before picking AJ up off the ground and placing him in it. Five looks back to you and states,

"We need water."

You look at the air within the bag Five was holding and in a matter of seconds, you converted a portion of it into water. Five knew that was something you could do and it was something you had been able to do for a long time nevertheless, it still amazed him. Holding the bag with AJ in one hand he took yours in the other and held it tightly. Five spatial jumped the two of you out of the building and towards the shrub he had stashed the pre-programmed briefcase in. Handing AJ to you, he grabbed the briefcase and set it up so that you could get back to 1963 Dallas. Taking your hand once more you could feel the briefcase start to disturb the energy around you and with one more flash the two of you were back in the alleyway in Dallas covered in blood. The two of you looked around and everything seemed to be the right time and place. As you stood there in the alleyway the briefcase started to make noise and you could feel its molecules moving faster signifying that it was heating up. Grabbing it out of Five's hand you threw it on the other side of the alley and watch as seconds later it blew up. 

"What the fuck." You exclaimed

"Programmed to self-destruct after its purpose was done...clever." Five commented

You turn towards your boyfriend who seemed to be utterly unphased by the whole thing and say,

"I hate your former employer. I hope I never have to interact with them."

"Well, I don't want you to and because of that, I need you to go inside. She could be here any minute and I don't know what she could pull nor do I want you around her." Five explains "Also, it would make me feel better if you were inside. Okay?"

You nod your head at him and quickly make your way inside the back door to the building but don't head up the stairs to Elliott's apartment. Instead, you stay close to the door to be able to get to Five quickly incase he needed you.  Five crossed his arms as he turned away from the door and soon enough he heard the recognizable sound of heels clicking towards him.

"Well?" The voice asked

Five held to bag for her to take from him without looking back at her.

"AJ!" The handler exclaimed taking the bag

Five turned around and looked at her with an emotionless expression. 

"You know, you're really starting to fill out those tight little shorts of yours." The handler commented, "I'm sure your girlfriend is happy."

Five was always so disgusted when she talked about you. He could deal with comments made towards him, they meant nothing to him, but comments about you filled him with repulsion and rage. He kept quiet as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why so quiet? Thought you'd be buzzing after this morning's slaughter." She questions

Five looked off for a second. This killing, he didn't do it just because, he did it because he wanted to protect his family, you, and the world you all existed in.

"All this killing..." Five pauses "I'm done with it."

"What?" The handler questions "Am I supposed to take that seriously?"

"What I did today, I did for the people I love. I did it to save the world." Five elaborates emotionally

"Please. Spare me your little assassin with the heart of gold routine, will you?" The handler replies before picking up a briefcase from the ground "Here. Per our agreement, this will get you and your siblings back to 2019."

Five takes the briefcase from her and as he does she adds,

"You have 90 minutes."

Panic rushes through Five and as the handler starts to walk away he yells,

"You said nothing about a time limit."

"Actually, you have 89 minutes and 30 seconds. Better hurry."

"This is impossible, okay? My siblings are scattered across the city." Five exclaims as he approaches her

"Nothing's impossible. You proved that this morning when you killed the board."

"I need more time."

"Any more time, and people will start asking questions. The sooner you get home and out of this time period, the better off we'll both be, so, ticktock, ticktock." The handler finishes

Angrily, Five spatial jumps away from the handler and into the back staircase where you were. You look at him and see something is wrong but before you can say anything he grabs your wrist and spatial jumps the two of you up to the apartment. As the two of you arrive you see from the balcony three words written on the floor in blood. Öga För Öga. Eye for an eye? Before you can process that whole mess you hear Diego threaten from the kitchen,

"You killed one of ours, Olga, now we're coming after you. You will be dead by nightfall."

Five and you head towards the kitchen and see Diego on the phone with Luther nearby. As Five takes off his jacket and vest he explains,

"Hey. It's Öga För Öga, idiots. Swedish for an eye for an eye. It means the Swedes killed Elliott."

"Wrong number. Have a lovely day." Diego says in a chipper tone before hanging up the phone

Your eyes go wide as the situation before you triggers a strong feeling of deja vu within you, almost instantaneously followed by a strong visceral memory of your friends comes to mind. Quietly you whispered to yourself,

"Du sang pour du sang."

Five turns to look at you and asks,

"Why did you say blood for blood in french?"

"I'd love to explain but we do NOT have the time for it right now," you state

"Uh, you guys have some blood on you. A lot of blood, actually. What did you do?" Luther questions

Instead of looking to Five for answers, Diego comes over to you and starts looking you over for injuries.

"Are you okay? This is a lot of blood." He asks concerned

"I've said this many times before in my life but it's not my blood and that's all that matters." You respond to him

He looks at you confused as you walk away towards Five in the bathroom. Using your powers you specifically remove the molecules of blood on both of your clothes and skin before placing them all in the sink and washing them down. As both of you fix yourself up in the bathroom Five starts to explain, 

"So I found a way home."

"What? How?" Luther questions

"All the details are irrelevant, but...I made a deal to get back to our timeline."

"What about doomsday?" Diego asks

"Won't happen."

"And the 2019 apocalypse?" Luther inquires

Five was getting frustrated with his siblings. Their questions pestered him, especially because he killed a bunch of people for the opportunity to get everyone home safely and their time was running out fast.

"Everything will be back to normal. All right? Now, no more questions. We gotta go. We have to find the others, alright?"

Five walks out of the bathroom with you following behind him. 

"Yeah," Luther says

"Luther, you get Allison. Diego, Klaus. (Y/N) and I will get Vanya. Now, we meet back in the arrival alley in 77 minutes." Five details before heading over to a table and saying "Here. I've synchronized these watches."

Picking the watches up from the table he pockets one before handing the other two to each of his brothers.

"Okay, let's do this." Luther states

With Luther's confirmation, Five turns away from them and grabs your hand about to flash the two of you away but is halted when Diego questions,

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. You show up with my sister completely drenched in blood and expect us to believe everything's gonna go back to normal if we go home now?"

You nodded your head a little bit at Diego's statement. If the handler had already tricked Five with a briefcase that has a 20-minute timer how could you know that this wasn't a trick again.

"Elliott just got killed because of us." Five exclaims gesturing to the body hidden underneath a sheet

You nodded your head once more because that was also a good point but you still did agree with what Diego had said.

"What about Dad? What about JFK?" Diego questions

Nevermind.

"Diego, we have a chance to go home and make things right. We are taking it." Five demands

This was wasting time, precious time that could be used to get back to their lives but also save the world.

"I have to say goodbye to Lila." Diego states

"Lila doesn't give a shit about you, Diego! She never did. She's one of them. She's a member of the Commission!" Five yells

"No way. Not possible."

Now you were starting to get frustrated with Diego. How could Diego be so stupid, so blinded by her? If she worked for the commission then she did not matter. She was bad from the start and deserved no sympathy for using your brother in the way she did. 

"She was just using you to get to me. You're the Oswald of this story, my friend. The goddamned patsy." Five frustratedly explains

"You don't know what you're talk-"  Diego to starts to retort

Five spatial jumps over to right in front of Diego and firmly states to him,

"If you don't do this, I'll kill you myself. Got it?"

"No. I don't take orders from you." Diego states back

That was it. You were done with the back and forth of bullshit as it was taking away time from the opportunity to get home. Pulling one of your knives out you quickly approached Diego and held it at him accusingly.

"Diego Hargreeves, this might be our only chance to get out of this god damn timeline and back home. And as your little sister if you care for my well-being as much as you say you do then you will not seek out this walking bag of lies and will go and get Klaus so we can all go home." You demand before exclaiming angrily "If you don't...I swear on our mother that I will take every one of your knives and will use them to dissect you limb by limb and organ by organ before using my powers to blow EACH ONE UP INDIVIDUALLY!"

The three boys looked on at you in horror. 

"Holy shit..." Luther quietly commented

"Do I make myself clear?" You ask

Diego quickly nodded his head and you pulled the knife away from them and back in its holding place on you. Turning around you walk away from him and extend your hand out to Five. Five takes it and the two of you flash away to outside the building. Looking around you and Five find a car that had the keys just placed on the driver's seat. Sharing a knowing look the two of you use your powers to get into the car before putting the keys in and speeding off to get Vanya. As you travel on the dirt roads leading to the farm Vanya was living on you started to head around a curve. As you did so you and Five looked over and saw Vanya in the car passing by. Vanya stopped her car as Five stopped yours. You both quickly rush out of the car and over towards Vanya who had gotten out of hers.

"What are you doing here?" Vanya questioned confused

"Looking for you. We're going back to 2019." Five states quickly

"What are you talking about?" Vanya asks 

Five pulls the watch out of his pocket and looks at the seconds counting down before replying,

"Look, I don't really have time to explain right now, but I found a way home. All right? We have 30 minutes to leave."

Five starts to walk away thinking Vanya would follow but instead she exclaims,

"What about my friends? I can't just leave them here."

"Vanya, you don't have a choice in this, all right? Doomsday will happen if you don't come with me." Five explains turning around to face her again

"Okay, then I'm bringing them with me." Vanya states

"They belong in this timeline." Five replies

"Says who? Sissy deserves a life where she doesn't have to pretend to be someone she's not. And Harlan There's a name for what he has. We can get him the help he needs." Vanya yells angrily

"Vanya." You called softly, trying to ease the tension

For a second, your calmness seems to work as Vanya adds,

"Look, a mom and her eight-year-old son are not gonna screw up the timeline, Five. They're insignificant."

Five looks on at Vanya and you can see behind the frustration and panic there was sadness in his eyes. He doesn't want to argue with his sibling and he never would purposely try to hurt his sibling in the way Vanya might be feeling, but they were running out of time to get home and if they didn't the whole world could end. Even in his panic, Five attempted to speak more calmly,

"No one is insignificant. I'm sorry, all right? But we can't take that risk. They have to stay. Come on."

"Why do you get to decide? You're the reason we're stuck here in the first place." Vanya rebukes, her anger returning

"If I did nothing, we would all be dead right now, thanks to you!" Five yells back

"They're coming with me." Vanya demands

Five could not deal with this stubbornness anymore. It was the same stubbornness that caused the last apocalypse because Vanya refused to see other people's perspectives and played the victim card time and time again. He loved his sister, that much was true, but he was not going to deal with another apocalypse just because Vanya wanted to bring some people she had known for a month along. Taking a step forward towards her Five stands his ground and firmly commands,

"Vanya, do not test me right now."

Vanya takes a step towards him in the same manner and in a low voice replies back,

"That's funny. 'Cause I was just about to say the same thing."

You can see the anger build between them but you can feel their power build as well. The disturbance they created crashed over you like a powerful wave during a storm. You tried to do what you always did to help ease the disturbance by breathing it in and then pushing it out. But this was different. Some time travel or explosions didn't do as much harm as they used to but Vanya's powers were like Kryptonite. And with the addition of Five revving up his powers, it was a bit more than you had been exposed to in a while. For a second you were able to manage pretty well but as they grew stronger it got harder to breathe. It was as if your throat was closing up on you and without being able to breathe the feeling of the disturbance got worse. You dropped to your knees as you gasped for air and when Five heard you struggling he immediately stopped his battle with Vanya to rush over to you. Helping you to stand, you took in deep breaths of air, and as Vanya powered down you started to feel better.

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Five apologized as he pulled you into a hug

"I'm fine," you reply between breaths and you hold him back

From behind the two of you, you can hear Vanya say,

"Fine."

"Fine, what?" Five asks

Five pulls out of the hug to look at Vanya but keeps one of his arms tightly around you worried that if he lets go you'll collapse again.

"I'll be there, but I need to say goodbye first." Vanya answers

"Oh, Vanya, we don't have the time." Five explains

"Well, it's either that, or I'm not coming." Vanya states

Five looks towards you. There was no use fighting with Vanya on this and honestly, if he was in her place he'd want to say goodbye too. He never got the chance to say goodbye when he left. Looking back towards Vanya he nods his head and commands,

"The alley. 27 minutes. Don't be late."

With that Vanya goes and gets in her car while you and Five get in yours. Not letting go of you, Five walks you. to the car and helps you in it even as you protested saying you were feeling better. Turning the car back on Five whips it around and heads back towards the alley. When the two of you arrive you park the car and immediately jump out rushing towards the alley. As you arrive Five quickly opens up a dumpster and pulls out the briefcase he stashed there. Running from out of the apartment you see Luther approach you two and questions upset,

"Hey. Where is everyone?"

"You're the first." Five replies to him

"What?" Luther exclaims

"Yeah." You reply

As the three of you stare down the alleyway you can see Klaus approaching, which was surprising in and of itself but what was more surprising to you was that Ben was standing within him. As Klaus' body approached it exclaims,

"Hey! Hey! We made it!"

"What do you mean, we?" Five asks

The three of you then watch as Klaus contorts his body in odd ways and while Five and Luther were generally confined you were trying to process all that you were seeing. What looked like odd contortions to the other two was really Klaus trying to push Ben out of his body. Was Klaus possessed? You then watched as Klaus projectile vomited an extreme amount on the ground and along with it was Ben, who was now also covered in vomit. How did that work being a ghost? You didn't know and it wasn't important enough to ask at this moment. Klaus collapses to the ground and you look directly at Ben to say,

"I don't know what you did to cause that to happen, but it was gross as hell."

Luther, unknowing of Ben being there looks at Klaus. How is it that out of all his siblings Klaus was the one to arrive on time. An anger wells in him as he shouts,

"I can't believe it. I mean, you're here."

"We've got eight minutes left." Five states panicked as he looks at the watch

"I just had the strangest dream," Klaus mumbles from the ground 

"Where are the others!" Five exclaims as he continues to look down the alley

You continue to wait there and minute after minute the time ticks down until there were only sixty seconds left.

"We've got a minute left!" Luther yells angrily as he slams his hand down on the dumpster denting it

"What's going on, guys? Are we going somewhere?" Klaus asks from the ground

You watch as your boyfriend paces back and forth angrily ranting,

"It was a simple task. It was a simple task! All we had to do was be here. Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein."

"I can't believe this." Luther comments

"It was handed to us on a silver platter." Five continues

This was bad. Allison, Diego, and Vanya had yet to show up and you couldn't leave with only five of you here. You shook your head as disappointment and anger flooded over you. This family would be the death of you.

"Could you just moan a little softer? My head is killing me." Klaus complains as he starts to sit up

"Listen to me, you useless puke bag, we just blew our chance to save the world!" Five yells

As he finishes saying that you can hear a sound coming from the briefcase but can also feel it as well. Five's head whips over to it and sees that the briefcase was about to go. 

"God damn it." Five states

"Shit," Luther adds

Five had no choice but to get rid of the briefcase. Picking it up off the ground he throws it into the air and far from any of you. You all watch as it disappears in a flash of blue and your chance of getting home had been lost to time. Five shakes his head and turns away from the group heading back towards Elliott's apartment.

"We were that close. That close." He states

You stared up at the spot where the briefcase had flashed and as the residual feeling of the disturbance, it caused disappeared faded you wondered if your chances of ever getting home had too.

 ________________________________

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @sunsetcurve-1995 @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @shadowycreationcupcake @emily-hargreeves @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777 @zosiaduda @thethirdwheelfriend @mysticracoon @isnt-it-loverly @officiallydarkgeek @lady1505 @always-the-very-worst @tinypandagirl @libidinexx @lemongrabbuns @itwasallred @deadandoverit @shlokage @keksi249 @theoriginalkat @we-stan-fiction @bi-idiot-fanfics @annnagennnie @izzyjojo4 @megasimpleplan4ever @flowertoty @grabthemoneyandletsgo @itsametaphorbriansblog @vanillacaramelhoney @satvaldiva @disaster-magician @margotsfandoms @emily-b-m @bluechildrenlickmytoes @soft-slytherin-sweetie @oceanspray5 @im-here-for-fanfics @thebloodrobin @freestarlight @starcurrent @lilacs-lavender @moatsnow @give-the-boy-a-hug @narikyuwu @whenyouregrungeaff

#Umbrella Academy #The Umbrella Academy #five #number five #five headcanons #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #tua five headcanons #tua five #tua five hargreeves #tua #tua fanfic #UA #the umbrella academy five

[pretend-writer]

Teenagers (Hargreeves x sibling!reader)

Summary: Y/N tries to convince her siblings to sneak out of the mansion and go out to party with her for the night. 

Pairing: Hargreeves x sibling!reader

Title Reference: Teenagers x My Chemical Romance

Word Count: 1.5k words

Warning: swearing, mention of drugs and alcohol

Note: part 1 of 2

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

My number one dream that I had was; to be a normal kid. Go to prom, go on dates, walking around the hallways and gossip with my friends by the lockers.

Unfortunately, none of that can happen in The Hargreeves household.

It was nothing but chores, training to control our powers, lessons about things that I have no interest in. I barely had time talk to my siblings, as Reginald, our father, would say, "talking is a waste of time."

Little did he know that I've mastered my powers long time ago. I probably have more powers that I haven't discovered yet but the one I knew I had, I made it my bitch.

I was The Multiplier, having the ability to clone or make copies of anything I touch. Reginald did say that I may have some hidden powers that I didn't know about but this was more than enough to keep me going.

Since I've gotten used to my powers all time time, I've been using it to my advantage. There were countless times I skipped training, making my own clone go in for me while I leave the mansion and make some friends.

Reginald never had caught me using my powers or even suspected my clones that it wasn't the real me. If I do get caught, the worst thing that can happen when I got in trouble was literally nothing. I can have my clone do all my dirty work.

Diego, Ben and I were hanging out in my room, an hour before lights out. Diego and Ben were plotting some prank on Allison after blowing up flour all over Luther last week.

'What if I told you guys we should all sneak out tonight?' I grinned widely at my brothers as they looked at me like I was crazy.

'I would say you lost your damn mind.' Diego shook his head. 'Dad would lose his shit.'

'But imagine if he does, that'll be fun to watch.' Ben chuckled.

Diego rolled his eyes, 'Well you two have fun getting your head torn by that man. I'm out.'

'Ugh, come on! We're young adults and we're stuck in this stupid mansion with our father. We should be having fun, living a little just like how all the young people do.'

Ben's face lit up, I bet he was imagining the same thing as I was. 'Y/N, that actually doesn't sound bad at all. I'm in!'

The both of us looked over at Diego, the typical puppy dog eyes we'd do to try to get what we want. Ben nudged on him, 'Please?'

'You know, I can just have Allison rumor you to come with us.' I smiled devilishly, clapping my hands in excitement.

'Wow, you're a horrible person.'

'Correction, I'm great. After you have an awesome time tonight you'll be glad I'm your sister.'

Ben pulled me and Diego to get out of bed, leading us to Allison's room where her, Klaus and Vanya were hanging out. 'Guess what we're doing tonight!?'

The three looked intrigued, watching us as we announce our plans for tonight. 'We're going out!'

'Oh my goodness, I was waiting for this day to come.' Allison jumped up, running into her huge closet as she picked her clothes for the night.

'I already have booze and drugs for pregame then!' Even when I told Klaus countless times to try to fix his drug problems, he had a hard time quitting. Another reason why we had to leave this place; Dad corrupted us one by one.

Ben mumbled, 'Ah. I'll pass on the drugs but pass me the alcohol.'

'Yes!' I screamed, but not loud enough for Reginald to hear. 'Let's get drunk guys!'

'Wait, wait, wait.' Vanya stood up in between all of us, Allison stopping and peeking from her closet. 'If dad finds that none of us are in our beds, we're screwed.'

This was where I came in to save the day, doing a small victory dance as the rest of the siblings stared at me. 'I can easily cover for you guys. No worries.'

'Are you really going to use your powers?' Diego's brows raised, I could feel that he was judging me hard.

'Yeah, I've done it a bunch-' I suddenly froze, realizing that I wasn't supposed to announce that.

Diego poked my shoulders, 'Go on. Finish your sentence.'

'No, lets just get ready to go out.'

'Ah, no Y/N. Come on, what were you going to say?' Allison walked quickly over to me. 'You've what?'

'Okay fine. I've used it a bunch of times okay. To sneak out at night, during training, when I wan-'

'Training!?' Everyone said in unison. I was more surprised that they didn't try to take advantage themselves.

Klaus smirked, 'If I had your powers I'd do the same thing. Can you hook me up next time? I need a break.'

Vanya hit him lightly, 'Klaus! We shouldn't be skipping training. It's important to learn how to use our powers.'

'Nah, fuck that. Help me out too.' Ben joined in, 'I'm tired of this man and his stupid rules.'

'You guys are a bunch of cheaters.' Allison signed.

'Who's a cheater?' Five who walked by Allison's room asked. 'Shouldn't you guys be in bed now? Lights out in forty-five minutes.'

'Y/N's been using her powers to get out of training.' Diego replied, 'What are you doing roaming around the mansion?'

'Doing stuff.' Five crossed his arms then turns to me as he proceeded to ask me a question. 'Are you really cheating?!'

I rolled my eyes, 'It's not cheating. I'm using my powers, just like how dad wants me to. I think he'd be impressed that I've been deceiving him.'

'So what stuff were you doing?' Klaus asked Five.

Allison jumped in, 'Five. We're going out if you want to come.'

'Wait, before we go. Where are we even going?' Ben scratches his head.

'Are we going to ignore the fact that Five is doing shady shit around the mansion?' Klaus asked again, no one was bothered to care about what Five was doing honestly. He was a weird boy.

'I have people I talk to. They're going to hook us up with some wrist bands to get into clubs for free.'

Diego made a face, at this point I feel as though my siblings are suspecious of me. 'How do you have friends outside of here?'

'Like I said, I'd sneak out at night time to time.'

'Oh, she's a hoe.' Klaus laughed.

Glaring at Klaus, I shook my head. I couldn't wait to see the rest of my siblings drunk so I could make fun of them. 'You keep talking Klaus, we will see what happens.'

'Wow, I'm scared.' Klaus said sarcastically.

'So are you coming with us Five?' Allison questioned him.

'Of course. I don't trust you guys for one bit to come back in one piece. Can't deal with dad wondering where everyone's at and getting blamed for no reason.'

Ben looked around and widened his eyes. 'Guys, we're forgetting something.'

Vanya cocked her head, confused. 'What?'

'Uhm, are we going to ask Luther to come?' Ben continued.

Diego exhaled, groaning as he heard Luther's name. 'Oh. I'm not going if he's going.'

'Dude, shut up. We're taking him with us.' I told him.

'You think he'll snitch on us?' Allison was curious.

'I doubt it, he's such an innocent boy.' Klaus said, 'We need to take him. I want to see him drunk.'

Ben added, 'Besides you can kiss him and bribe him not to tell dad.'

Allison rolled her eyes, annoyed at her brothers. 'Whatever. So let's go before we get caught.'

The rest of the siblings went to get ready for tonight while me, Vanya and Five went to Luther's room.

Five, being the respectful sibling he was, used his powers to go through Luther's room. I heard Luther's scream followed by his cackling, him opening the door for us.

'Why would you barge into my room!? I could've bee-'

Vanya looked at him, 'You could've been what?'

Luther's face turned red, 'So what are you guys doing in my room? It's almost lights out and dad i-'

'Whatever whatever.' I cut him off, 'We're going out tonight. And when I say we, I mean every single one of us. Don't worry about getting caught. I got you covered.'

'I'm not getting it.' Luther sat up on his bed, scratching his head.

'We're going to go dancing, drinking, having fun just like how reckless teenagers do it.' I smiled, 'Actually I don't know how normal teenagers are but I assume so.'

Five grabbed on his arm, trying to pull Luther out of bed. 'And I'm babysitting you kids so let's go before dad catches us and we really can't leave the mansion.'

'You so want to be there with us but pretending you don't.' Vanya smirked, helping Five get Luther out of bed. It did seem like Five was using "watching over us" as an excuse to hide his feelings toward going out tonight.

'You guys are not special, I don't want to hang with you guys.'

'That's why you're yanking me out of bed right?' Luther eventually got out of bed. 'Okay, I'm getting ready. Y/N, if tonight sucks I'm going to make your life miserable for the rest of your life.'

'Wow, you guys don't give me credit at all. Believe me, it's going to be the best night ever.'

#tua oneshot #the umbrella academy one shot #Hargreeves fic #tua fic #the umbrella academy fic #Luther Hargreeves x reader #Diego Hargreeves x reader #Allison Hargreeves x reader #Klaus Hargreeves x reader #five Hargreeves x reader #Ben Hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #Hargreeves sister!reader #Hargreeves x sibling!reader