I wouldn't even be able to finish dinner with him looking at me like that. Either we leave immediately, or I get on my knees in the dining hall. It's up to him.
hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
Another piece i did for the TOG server annual art contest (yeah its been a while lol i forgot to keep updating here xD) and this time is both Lo Po Bia Shilial and Lilial because i cant draw them in different paper hahaha. This is watercolor on A5 paper, yeah bigger than the other where i only used A6 paper xD aldo i love how vibrant and colorful it is <3 not paid promote but ffs white nights watercolor really put every other watercolor brand i have tried in shame. I want to do White tbf but i left most of my watercolor stuffs @ parents house esp my tracing pad ugh so i gotta wait till i got them ;w; also i will do Traumerei next along with white
Also im curious would yall like this type of watercolor illustration turned into poster? if yes and yall have any concept idea yall want to see, feel free to fill this form! <3
also some cheebs im working on as im trying to do cuter and more lively style approach
Traumerei and Shilial one is my favorite lmao hahhaa they are so cute fr, i was so fucking shocked when Traum flipped off to Gustang i thought it was a fan edit lmaoooo also Shilial is my expression in the #raw_previews in tog server straight W.T.F.
alright jesus christ, I'm making another "if shit goes down" post:
If something kicks off in *ran, which I cannot stress enough IS CURRENTLY AT PEACE (the rest of my family is taking their afternoon siesta as I write this and I've got my shower stuff set out for later; things are quiet af except for the birds and the occasional bad driver revving an engine), they will cut off the internet inside *ran before they do anything else. They want to control the narrative and make sure we don't get out our pleas for help/information on what'll be happening here.
I've already seen a post on here where people are cheering for "*ran" because they helped H*zbollah hit an *sraeli target... guys, that's not *ran. That's the I R G C, an extremist terrorist organisation that controls *ran's resources (incidentally, just like H*zbollah controls L*banon!). The *ranian people are being held hostage as a nation by the *RGC. We aren't them and they most certainly are not *ranians. Don't get it twisted. The *RGC is trying to kick off a direct war after a long while of fighting their proxy wars through Palestine and S*ria... and I don't know why the fuck it's happening now.
I'm in the middle of a programming course and I'm scrambling to do my homework for the next two weeks before the internet goes. I'm going to pack survival backpacks for my family tonight; water, money, id, antiseptic cream... and you know what's driving me up the fucking wall about all this? It's that all this is happening after vacuuming the whole fucking house for *ranian New Years, tidying all the fronds on the rugs with a comb until they all ran parallel, scrubbing hard water stains off the taps and the house plant leaves until they gleamed, making up a whole new blossom-print duvet-pillowcase set for the beds, buying pretty Soviet-print antique enamelware and ceramic water jugs for extra-cool water this summer...
I don't want to flee my own fucking house, so painstakingly cleaned and pretty and so recently full of guests for the New Year, to go where? Turkey? Armenia? And what the fuck for? Because the donkey testicles who've taken charge here don't care if we live or die?
Post from: Sat 13 April 2024
Note: I censor *ran and other nouns that are in the news rn because I'm at risk of being found here through keyword searches, account tracing, etc. They might still find me this way, but I don't want to make it that easy. If you see anyone openly heehawing about the *RGC or H*zbollah in my replies/reblogs, they've found this post despite my efforts.
If you interact with the post, however, PLEASE use the uncensored nouns in your tags/replies.
(╥_╥) i truly am so lucky to have such incredibly talented and supportive followers – thank you both for being here and to those of you who reblogged my dinky lil promo yesterday! it means the entire world to me (◕︿◕✿)
saw drake & 21 savage for the first show in nyc last night and lemme jus say….them 2 will always be my favorite rappers dude i literally had the besttt time of my life im alr considering going for the next show i love my lil cornballs badddd 😩😩
here’s some videos of my time (excuse the shitty bar in my way)