#THEY NEVER FINISHED THIS CONVO BTW WE JUST NEVER WENT BACK TO THAT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kamil-a · 2 years

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btw im still yet to finish the last piece of elliot nonstay but. okay this has the vague appearance of an essay (long) but has no structure or thesis whatsoever. lets ramble.

i think we can already hold a gender studies class (lmao) on it that goes something like this, that all alice's insecurities about her relationship with elliot fuel these very..... image of a housewife comforting her tired breadwinning husband...ish, do you know what i mean? acts. oh he's so tired from work (more on this later), i need to cook for him i need to fix his clothes i need to literally massage him.

but all that's stuff he already has access too because a: he's a foodie who loves seeking out cool niche restaurants, b: his clothes fix themselves with literal magic, and c: everyone in the hatter house massages each other as a post-work bonding hobby (WHICH IS CUTE). actually i take back c i cant imagine elliot letting people touch him. well except blood of course. oho! haha. hehehe. okay let's get back on track.

right so the POINT is she's losing at girl really bad in this one, and really struggling with that, and he isnt noticing because to him the thing she is providing is...romantic love? intimacy? companionship? obviously cookies your gf made are more special than cookies a chef made!! but from her point of view, no matter how much she runs, she can't catch up to actually Providing Housewifery to him (because she's not a hatter girl). (interestingly, she doesn't do this stuff as much when she IS a hatter girl).

okay, it's later, more on this: she also, by her own in game admission, fixes his coat to take her mind off the parts of their relationship she's scared to tackle, namely that he works at the murder factory. and that he's in opposition to HER chosen territory, which means it's her friends and coworkers he's killing at least part of the time. she's throwing every justification she can at this one, but mostly trying to distract herself.

one more interesting twist: there are times when she can't bring herself to lie and tell her partner she's staying for sure, and this is not one of them. she directly chooses to straight up lie to elliot (oh ill just go home and say goodbye and then come back!)

(It's been a while, but i think that's actually her for real not lying plan in stay route. Huh.)

anyway this is kind of a usual thing to do with elliot, who tends to get really stubborn on dumb arguments until you just go okay fine i agree with whatever bs youre saying. but this isnt a dumb argument and i suspect he knows she's lying, or at least doubts her out of insecurity, and i bet that's why he went behind HER back to try and find a way to force her to stay.

(but of course as we know she can only be forced to stay if by some deepdown subconscious will, she- im trying to find a not awful sounding way to put this, because "wants to be forced" is, yikes!- wants the option to leave taken out of the equation hard enough. It's a free will reacharound. but that doesn't excuse elliot or anyone else TO BE CLEAR , it's just a little grimace moment about Themes.)

but in any case, unlike in stay, i get the feeling alice has never really had a deep conversation with him, has always tried to keep it light, puts SOOOO much weight on what a cute little bunny he is, because i think she's scared of finding out things about him she doesn't want to know, and he rolls with it because he's scared of scaring her. she [shrek 2 png] doesn't even know how he wants to die. lmao. which 2 BE FAIR she doesnt find out from talking to him in stay route either but at least she knows it.

she never ever likes having feelings convos but she REALLY tries to avoid it in this one lmao, stuffing his face full of muffins whenever he tries to say he loves her, which IS ADORABLE AND NOT A BAD THING 2 BE CLEAR it just is one point in this constellation of a relationship she's afraid of having a real direct conversation in. That said maybe im forgetting things and wrong about this, that's always an option. It's just fun to say words.

anyway i imagine blood is watching his best friend ever and his new friend he's grown to really value having this weird eggshell relationship like :^) this is fine!

oh one more thing. i worry a lot whenever she talks about specifically wanting to be where lorina is, how when she says she wants to go home and home means lorina to her....... just bad feelings from this.

but can you connect this sentiment popping up to how dismally she's losing at girl in this one? something something the deep knowledge that going to where lorina is means going [points in the vague direction of human heaven] and the last and most potent weapon any player of the girl game has in her arsenal is death and eulogy? idk, maybe. whoa this got dark, sorry.

#thoughtful honking

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nightcall99 · 1 month

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Notes from 25.3.24

There was sponge cake in the break room today and I didn't have any. I never pass up on free food, let alone dessert. All I've had to eat today is one pastry from the bakery for lunch. I don't know if it'll keep up like this but I think so much energy is percolating through right now and food is too 3D and impedes on that process. I'm still drinking water though.

I woke up early this morning and something told me to just keep lying down under the blankets and listen to some music. I listened to the same track over and over and a lot of negative emotions came up. I felt so angry towards my mum. She has never accepted me for who I am and yesterday when she asked me Why I'm Not Normal, it actually really hurt me. I thought I had shoved it down but it came back up. She talked about me behind my back to my relatives. Every time I got goaded into snapping by my uncle, no one came to my aid. Even my sister sat there playing dumb. There has never been any love or kindness in this family. Just duty. I'm not good at communicating in Vietnamese but it got to the point where tears were running down my face as I was looking up on words on google translate with which to destroy my mum. I wanted to say, You better be careful mother, because if you keep going I will make both you and father want to die with the things I'm about to say. Don't you dare stand there looking at me and asking me that when you verbally abused me every day for years and used physical punishment when I was a child. I witnessed domestic violence, animal abuse and god knows what else I've shoved deep, deep down so I'll tell you Why I'm Not Normal and It's Because Of Both Of You. I'm really happy you were able to forget everything that happened though, must be nice. It felt like I was never going to break away from these feelings. Like they had me in a choke-hold and would forever.

LOL. But then it all evaporated. I had the best day at work after. HAHAHAH. It definitely felt like I was cord-cutting. That energy had been there for a long time and it needed to be released.

I think JZ is back. Well, I never knew him from before he went so it's like I am just discovering who he is in the first place. And I'm... genuinely interested. He's that student from the dream a few days back who was travelling back and forth from the camp to Japan. I barely talk to this kid but I had a convo with him today and it was nice. I wouldn't have minded if it had kept going. We finished at 9pm and he's one of the few male students who is actually gentlemanly and will stay back if you're a female, to make sure you lock up okay. What a legend. Also that 18 year old girl who works on the shop floor EA, is definitely there. Yesterday when I came back from that depressive episode in my car, she happened to be on break too. I still had some time left so we both sat on the ground near the dumpsters and passed a vape back and forth (btw, do it). The conversation was vibing. Then when the shift was over and she said goodbye before walking away, I felt her aura playfully jab at me. I felt it. It was the same type of jab I felt coming from SM when he looked at me. But his was ominous because of his personality. Lol.

It doesn't feel like this needs to be advertised, if it is real. As in, usually I would be running to the group to tell them but we're past that now. If you are to experience it, then you'll experience it. It's another idea on offer and maybe it doesn't serve and that's that. Anyway, it feels like everyone is in observation-mode. There's a tentative, foreboding and erratic feeling in the air. We're all waiting.

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cumspider · 2 years

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hello all. i know i’m not on here often or don’t have a lot of followers but this is the only social media site where my roommate doesn’t follow me so if you’d like to enjoy a rant and some tea, enjoy: btw i’ve forgotten how to do a read more so sorry i’ll tag it tho)

like i love her and admire her so much and she is my best friend and college would be nothing without her but i’m also very fucking jealous and angry at her i think.

we had met this boy at the same time, and prior to meeting him we had known of each other through mutual friends and i thought he was cute and was excited to meet him and she thought he was okay. so fast forward to one of our last nights on campus and he and our mutual friends come over on a random night, before our little get together that we planned. i look like shit and trying to finish my end-of-semester work so i don’t go downstairs where they are. they leave, and my roommate all of a sudden she thinks he is HOT like insanely hot (she confuses him for a friend of a friend at first)

but she knows how interested i was in this man before meeting him. i didn’t really care she thought he was cute, though. because he is. anyway flash forward to the night of our little get together and everyone is drinking and he cannot handle his liquor lmfao so he gets drunk and talks about how well he fucks and all this shit he can do to me and just…phew 👀. i’ve never had a man declare what he was declaring to me that night, incredibly drunk, in front of all of his friends…..ahem. anywho not the point. so he’s saying all these things and meanwhile my roommates like “oh my God you should totally say smthg to him! let him know you’re interested!” and i’m like…i’m not preying on a fucking drunk man; he’s saying all this shit to me he wouldn’t have said sober and i’m not evil and also im... inexperienced in MANY facets. so fast forward again he’s throwing up on our fucking couch 😂 he spends the night there and I REMEMBERRR HIM DM’ING ME BEFORE HE LEFT!!! that he was sorry what had happened but had MEANT EVERYTHING HE SAID AND DONE!!!! i saw it and i was like omfg…and went back to sleep. i woke up again and then boom it’s fucking gone (because i had never dm’d him prior so you can delete it before they accept the convo). but we never really text after that, just small interactions on twitter. him and my roommate DO text though. and i don’t know i had spoken about it before on here how i thought it was weird how she basically goes after guys i’m too afraid to because i’m so inexperienced :p it is not her first time doing this to me ( i think the first guy was actually using her to get closer to me but he has a gf now and i never brought it up so lolz). now we are all in a little friend group (+ another guy who is his bf and our mutual bf) and idk man. she touches up on him and she got drunk and they ended up on the floor and he was like on top of her and held her face and i fucking malfunctioned a little bit idk. i felt so jealous. that should be ME but i’m poosie and insecure and don’t have any confidence despite the fact he has OUTWARDLY admitted his attraction to me. it’s just this weird fucking like/lu$t triangle and it wouldn’t have even been a thing if i had just not been a wimp and texted him but i always feel like i’m in a state of being fucking stuck and. yeah idk. she doesn’t go for men unless they’ve admitted they’ve liked me before and even if i want to i don’t ever go for it SHE does like YUCK YUCK YUCK!! doesn’t that violate girl code or sumn? anyway……..yerp :p this is my life i wish i could put this into some fucking poetry but i can’t man i’ve had such bad writers block for a couple years now. but ya thnx 4 reading

#long post #long reads #tldr

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milkmeharry · 4 years

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spiderman trio in quarantine

a/n: i was bored and wondered what mj, ned, and peter would be doing. this is my first headcanon so bear with me ! enjoy :)

ALSO for those of you who don’t know of zoom it’s online program where you can have video conferences (it’s mainly used for school or work related call but you can totally have zoom calls with friends and family) and kast is an online program where you can screen share a movie or show with other people while on a video call and chat

- so shelter-in-place was put into effect for nyc and midtown school of tech went online

-peter's immune but could be a carrier to aunt may

- definitely limits going outside at first

-but he notices how much he's really needed out there

-he spends his days getting and giving out groceries to those who need it

-maybe helping out clinics make sure things are going smoothly

-or maybe swinging around new york to entertain the kids stuck in their apartments

-of course, crime doesn't stop even during a pandemic

-so spiderman is still out there

-maybe he'll post on his official social media

-and promote social distancing

-he'd probably bust people for going outside and lecture them on social distancing

- at home, he'd stick to staying in his room

-and the few times he'd leave his room he'd watch a movie with may or cook with her because she missed him

-knowing peter he'd probably try to build ventilators to donate to hospitals

-he'd split his time between school, mj, spiderman duties, and building the ventilators

-speaking of mj

-they miss each other

-only got a few months to really be together

-so there'd definitely be plenty of zoom dates with mj

-maybe they change the background of their zoom call to both be paris

-and peter tries to make a joke like "well we finally made it to Paris"

-and mj giggles

-they'd probably spend all night talking to each other

-and fall asleep on call

-they'd really miss each other's hugs

-and kisses

-peter would probably visit her

-and stand outside her window on the fire escape

-but he wouldn't dare go inside

-mj would head to the window and talk to him

-but they'd stay 6 ft apart bc social distancing

-they'd get creative though

-maybe peter would set up a makeshift table on the escape

-and mj would set up a table in her room

-they'd both bring their own meals

-a little battery-powered candle would be sitting on both of their tables

-maybe even a little flower in a small vase

-and they'd have a candlelit dinner

-or maybe mj would pull up a chair

-and read to peter through the window

-ORRR she'd bring her sketch pad and draw peter

-she'd give it to him and he'd hang it up in his room

-speaking of mj in quarantine

-she would probably have ordered a bunch of books before the shelter-in-place order

-and use the time to make a large dent in her list of books she wanted to read

-her sleep schedule would be the WORST out of all of them

-staying up at all hours of the night to read

-or draw

-she'd practice her writing skills

-we all know mj has a stan account

-she'd finally update her ongoing spiderman fanfic

-of course, she'd be interrupted by the group chat blowing up her phone

-it's mainly ned's hourly "well shit, what are y'all up to" texts

-mj would mostly ignore them

-peter would send a picture of him swinging

-the group chat would pop off at weird times of the day

-it'll be like 2:11 AM and ned would spark a random convo about star wars

-of course, they'd all be awake

-peter and ned would go back and forth

-mj would just stare at her phone

-until midway into their convo

-she'd text "go to bed dorks"

-and then all of them would go off about how each other should go to sleep

-only to ignore each other and be up for another hour

-bickering about everything and nothing at the same time

-maybe even group kast calls

-where they screen share a movie

-so they can all watch

-because they finally want mj to watch the series

-mj, of course, did not care

-but for peter, she did

-ned would most likely be building more lego sets

-take this time to finish the sets he never even started

-he'd probably feel a little lonely

-spend some time going through pictures from last summer

-he'd most likely come across pictures of him and betty

-he'd probably go back and forth with himself on whether he should text her

-in the end, betty would end up texting ned

-maybe a funny meme she found that reminded her of him

-or a news article about star wars or whatever

-and the pair would fall for each other again just as they did last summer

-since midtown is online they'll have online zoom classes

-Mr.Harrington most likely doesn't know how to use zoom

-so every zoom call starts with a 5 minute silence from everyone

-except Mr.Harrington is just staring at the screen

-trying to figure out if he's doing it right

-he'll most likely close the tab and spend another 5 minutes pulling it back up

-the class is probably going to draw over his screen and he won't know how to turn the feature off

-flash would most likely draw a penis and write penis parker on it

-Mr.Harrington would probably mute himself halfway and no one would say anything

-probably try to crack a joke about how lonely it would be without his ex-wife

-needless to say everyone is lonely

-but they all have their ways to try setting a new norm for the time being

a/n: requests are open btw!

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

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Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Basically just my way of covering episodes I didn’t want to write but also wanted to establish XD

Chapter 31 | Chapter 33 | AO3 link

[9:23 pm] Chat Noir has joined miraculass.

Chat Noir: heh

Chat Noir: nice chat name

Chat Noir: didn’t know you had it in you foxy

Rena Rouge: i’ll actually ban you

Chat Noir: :(

Chat Noir: say sike rn

Rena Rouge: don’t test me

[9:28 pm] Carapace has joined miraculass.

Rena Rouge: hey shellhead

Carapace: would’ve thought we’d be more mature

Carapace: yk since we’re superheroes n all

Rena Rouge: hey

Rena Rouge: if i didn’t do it

Rena Rouge: chat would’ve

Chat Noir: you wound me

**Chat Noir: **but you’re right

**Chat Noir: **just don’t tell lb or she’ll have my arse

Rena Rouge: you know she can just scroll up when she joins right

Chat Noir: FUCK

[9:52 pm] Ladybug_ _has joined miraculass.

Ladybug: very mature, whoever named the chat

Rena Rouge: skdhfsojsaljfs;dlsa;ldjwjkhdfladybug

Rena Rouge: sorry autocorrect

Carapace: a likely excuse

Rena Rouge: it was chat

Chat Noir: le what

**Chat Noir: **i've been framed

Chat Noir: scroll up lb

Ladybug: both Chat and Rena are banned

Rena Rouge: >:|

Chat Noir: noooooo

Carapace: is it too late to give back the miraculous?

**Rena Rouge: **hey

Chat Noir: :(

Ladybug: yes, it is

Ladybug: you can’t leave me with the furries

Chat Noir: i’m not a furry :|

Rena Rouge: i resemble that remark

Carapace: you kinda r dude

Carapace: you literally run around in a black leather catsuit

Chat Noir: you come into my house

[9:59 pm] Carapace set Chat Noir’s name to furry noir.

furry noir: >:|

Rena Rouge: PFFT

[10:00 pm] Carapace set Rena Rouge’s name to what does the fox say.

furry noir: PFFT

what does the fox say: JFC

what does the fox say: i will find you

**what does the fox say: **and i will shove my flute

Ladybug: PERFECT

**furry noir: **i think you mean

Ladybug: don’t you dare

furry noir: purrfect

Ladybug: >:|

furry noir: 0:)

what does the fox say: oh come on now i can’t even finish my threat

what does the fox say: just wait till i name you shellhead

[10:01 pm] Carapace set their name to mess w turt u get hurt.

what does the fox say: istg

furry noir: bro

furry noir: i think i love you

mess w turt u get hurt: ew no

mess w turt u get hurt: ladybug save me from the furry

Ladybug: I’ll tell on you

furry noir: lol

furry noir: you think you scare me

Ladybug: no

Ladybug: but you-know-who does

furry noir: D:

what does the fox say: !!!!!

what does the fox say: wHO

Ladybug: inside joke

Ladybug: nvm

what does the fox say: :(

furry noir: omg

furry noir: ladybug you’re bi right

Ladybug: uh, yeah

what does the fox say: we had that freebie convo remember

mess w turt u get hurt: wait what

[10:04 pm] furry noir set Ladybug’s name to ladyBIrd.

ladyBIrd: I swear to god

ladyBIrd: thanks, now my kwami won’t stop laughing

furry noir: :)

ladyBIrd: this is so unfair

ladyBIrd: she’s supposed to be on my side

furry noir: at least yours sides w you sometimes

what does the fox say: and i thought trixx could be a little shit

mess w turt u get hurt: man i’m glad wayzz is chill

furry noir: :(

ladyBIrd: nope, I can’t do this

ladyBIrd: I can’t handle that name popping up every time I get a notification

[10:07 pm] ladyBIrd set furry noir’s name to catitude.

catitude: :D

what does the fox say: k cool i’ll keep this ancient relic name

ladyBIrd: only from like 2013, it’s not that old

mess w turt u get hurt: man i feel old when i remember those days

what does the fox say: stfu

what does the fox say: you named me you don’t get to regret

chat noir: don’t regretti the spaghetti

[10:20 pm]

catitude: guys?

[10:32 pm]

catitude: i see how it is

[10:35 pm] direct messages

Ladybug: hey

Ladybug: you know we’re not actually mad at your joke, right?

Chat Noir: yeah ik

Chat Noir: i’ll get yelled at if you’re actually mad

Ladybug: :(

Ladybug: no, you won’t

Ladybug: just a stern talking-to

Ladybug: unless you sacrifice yourself for me or something

Chat Noir: oof

Chat Noir: you’re still mad bout zombizou?

Ladybug: and Dark Cupid

Ladybug: and Timebreaker

Ladybug: I mean, I know I’m the only one who can purify akumas

Ladybug: but jfc

Chat Noir: sorry

Chat Noir: i just

Chat Noir: it’s not like i’m trying to play the hero yk?

Chat Noir: it’s just like

Chat Noir: i don’t want to get zombified or dusted or whatevs

Chat Noir: and it’s not like chivalry or whatever protect the lady bullshit

Chat Noir: i just know that you’re the only one who can fix everything

Chat Noir: and you’ll bring me back

Ladybug: yeah but

Ladybug: it doesn’t make watching you get killed or brainwashed any easier

Ladybug: and I can’t exactly see a therapist or something

Ladybug: because secret identities and all that

Chat Noir: :(

Chat Noir: i wanna say i promise not to throw myself in front of you

Chat Noir: but i can’t promise that

Ladybug: I know

Ladybug: I just

Ladybug: I can’t talk to anyone about it

Ladybug: except for you

Ladybug: and one of these days, everything’s going to get to me

Ladybug: and I’m just going to explode

Ladybug: fuck, I’m only 15

Chat Noir: oof

Chat Noir: same

Chat Noir: about the age thing

Chat Noir: and about the can’t tell anyone else thing

Chat Noir: my father’s kind of a dick so

Ladybug: :(

Chat Noir: but all i want is his approval

Chat Noir: like fuck do i have to scrape out my soul and turn myself into a robot to make him happy

Chat Noir: sorry

Chat Noir: didn’t mean to explode

Ladybug: don’t apologise

Ladybug: seriously

Ladybug: we’re in this together

Chat Noir: <3

Ladybug: <3

Chat Noir: why milady are you flirting with me

Chat Noir: whatever would marinette say

Ladybug: buzz off

Chat Noir: wrong miraculous :)

Ladybug: I’ll ask Rena to ban you

Chat Noir: actually

Chat Noir: should we ask her to give us mod power instead of her

Chat Noir: yk cause we’re the ogs

Ladybug: well, I don’t think Rena would abuse her power

Ladybug: and she is the tech whiz out of us

Ladybug: maybe just get her to give us mod power too

Chat Noir: tru tru

Chat Noir: i should go to bed

Chat Noir: but like

Chat Noir: i get to talk to you

Chat Noir: whenever I want

Ladybug: <3

Ladybug: go to bed, kitty

Ladybug: you can talk to me whenever you want, so I’ll still be here when you wake up

Chat Noir: k

Chat Noir: night bugaboo <3

Ladybug: night, kitty <3

[9:02 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: oh, by the way

ladyBIrd: rules

ladyBIrd: don’t say anything that could give identities away

catitude: duh

ladyBIrd: and don’t abuse pings

what does the fox say: omg thank god

what does the fox say: i legit left a chat cause someone kept @ing us

what does the fox say: all the time

mess w turt u get hurt: so like only for emerg?

ladyBIrd: yep

ladyBIrd: or if you really need to get our attention

catitude: btw rena

catitude: knight us

what does the fox say: wut

ladyBIrd: he means

ladyBIrd: please give me and Chat mod powers

what does the fox say: k

what does the fox say: can i still be mod

ladyBIrd: sure, you’re the one who knows how to work this

what does the fox say: fuck yeah

mess w turt u get hurt: hello darkness my old friend

what does the fox say: suck it shellhead >:)

mess w turt u get hurt: you wanna go furry?

ladyBIrd: thank god it’s Saturday

ladyBIrd: I’m still in bed

what does the fox say: lmfao

what does the fox say: sounds like my bff

what does the fox say: she’s always late

ladyBIrd: >:|

catitude: i know who you’re talking about

catitude: and may i just say

catitude: bitch

what does the fox say: <3

mess w turt u get hurt: cool

mess w turt u get hurt: not like i’m here or anythin

ladyBIrd: I hope you’re nicer to your best friend than Rena is to hers

what does the fox say: hey

mess w turt u get hurt: fuckin duh

catitude: :)

mess w turt u get hurt: :)?

catitude: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

what does the fox say: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ladyBIrd: Donkey!

what does the fox say: jkasdosdcpdskcsklandkjehfu

mess w turt u get hurt: omg

catitude: marry me milady

ladyBIrd: ew, no thanks

catitude: :(

catitude: how could this happen to me

catitude: i made my mistakes

what does the fox say: can i just say

what does the fox say: being in a gc with lb and cn

what does the fox say: is the only thing i’ve wanted from life

mess w turt u get hurt: i thought you said you had a bf

what does the fox say: eh

what does the fox say: he’ll get over it

mess w turt u get hurt: i mean

mess w turt u get hurt: tbf my gf would live thru me if she knew

what does the fox say: i love the sound of her

mess w turt u get hurt: !!!!!

mess w turt u get hurt: wait till i tell her what a superhero said

mess w turt u get hurt: rip to her

catitude: is this the sound of getting along i hear? :D

what does the fox say: hell no

mess w turt u get hurt: hell no

what does the fox say: scuse me mr copycat

catitude: that brings back memories

mess w turt u get hurt: uh obvs i was typing before you

what does the fox say: think you need to get your eyes checked shellhead

ladyBIrd: ANYWAY

ladyBIrd: you know you can’t tell her about this, right?

mess w turt u get hurt: :|

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh forgot

mess w turt u get hurt: anyway rena you’re annoying but you’re ok

what does the fox say: yea you’re mildly tolerable too

catitude: aww :D

what does the fox say: stfu

[10:35 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: @everyone akuma

what does the fox say: no shit really

mess w turt u get hurt: guess max wasn’t lying bout markov having feelings :/

catitude: i’m just about to transform

catitude: cu on the flipside

ladyBIrd: same

what does the fox say: can we help

ladyBIrd: yes please

ladyBIrd: I’ve never seen a non-human akuma before

what does the fox say: i’m surprised chloe even tried to help

what does the fox say: like told ms m that she was being ridiculous

what does the fox say: then went after marinette to mr d’s office to help get markov back

mess w turt u get hurt: maybe she’s really changing

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh my gf keeps texting someone but she still noticed me trying to get away

what does the fox say: rip

what does the fox say: my bf is trying to ditch me

what does the fox say: i mean k i need to get away to transform

what does the fox say: but he’s being sus

what does the fox say: nvm i ducked into bathroom

what does the fox say: let him keep his secrets

mess w turt u get hurt: just got away from gf gonna turn now

what does the fox say: same with bf

ladyBIrd: just hurry and transform before Mendeleiev falls

ladyBIrd: also this is killing me

what does the fox say: ????

ladyBIrd: nvm

ladyBIrd: inside joke

what does the fox say: >:|

[12:03 pm] miraculass

ladyBIrd: good job, guys

mess w turt u get hurt: poor max

what does the fox say: i’m glad he turned markov back on

catitude: same

catitude: but uh

catitude: we’re gonna be late back to class if we don’t hurry

what does the fox say: SHIT

[6:48 pm] miraculass

ladyBIrd: so

ladyBIrd: interesting fact

what does the fox say: ?????

ladyBIrd: we talked to the guy who gave our Miraculouses

ladyBIrd: he said that HM wants them because the Ladybug and Black Cat combined lets you make a wish

catitude: like

catitude: any wish

catitude: whatev you want

mess w turt u get hurt: shit

what does the fox say: ugh so he’s after ultimate power

what does the fox say: typical

what does the fox say: can’t even be an interesting villain

mess w turt u get hurt: but like

mess w turt u get hurt: why don’t we use them and wish

ladyBIrd: yeah, I asked that

ladyBIrd: wishing has a price

what does the fox say: duh

mess w turt u get hurt: i’m gonna choose to ignore you bc serious business

catitude: yeah so if hawkass like wishes to bring someone back to life or something

catitude: someone else just as important gets dusted

ladyBIrd: equal exchange

ladyBIrd: and the universe shifts to accommodate that change

mess w turt u get hurt: oof

what does the fox say: shit

ladyBIrd: yeah

ladyBIrd: cause Chat and I are balance and all

ladyBIrd: hence why ours have that power

what does the fox say: but he’ll never get them

what does the fox say: cause like

what does the fox say: he’s not even a good bad guy

mess w turt u get hurt: rena has a point

mess w turt u get hurt: just same shit over again

what does the fox say: he never like makes an akuma to track miracs

what does the fox say: or make a stealth akuma to follow and see you turn back

mess w turt u get hurt: yeah he just makes weird akumas n prays they win

catitude: f for hawkmoth’s intelligence

ladyBIrd: let us be thankful he’s not that competent

[1:19 pm] miraculass

what does the fox say: oh btw

what does the fox say: happy 1 month anniv of this chat

catitude: you called?

what does the fox say: -_-

mess w turt u get hurt: shit has it been a month

ladyBIrd: and a month since you joined the team, Carapace!

mess w turt u get hurt: !!!!

mess w turt u get hurt: didn’t even realise

ladyBIrd: you and Rena were excellent choices

catitude: yeah you guys are pawsome heroes

what does the fox say: lasjddksfjsalkdsalfhjdksjsdladybugthankmarryme

what does the fox say: also stfu chat

catitude: :(

catitude: no one loves this poor cat

ladyBIrd: mhm

catitude: :(

mess w turt u get hurt: i’m here for u bro

catitude: bro

mess w turt u get hurt: bro

what does the fox say: welp

what does the fox say: f for shellhead’s gf

mess w turt u get hurt: hey you’d do lb so f for your bf

what does the fox say: i mean

catitude: called tf out lol

what does the fox say: banned

catitude: can’t

catitude: i’m irresistpawble

ladyBIrd: i’m telling on you

catitude: mmm whatcha say :(

what does the fox say: k srsly who is this person

ladyBIrd: nvm

what does the fox say: fine

what does the fox say: keep your secrets

[11:19 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: SHITSHITSHITSHIT

ladyBIrd: ADRIEN NO

what does the fox say: chloe’s mum??? srsly???

ladyBIrd: @catitude where are you???

ladyBIrd: @catitude @catitude @catitude @catitude @catitude

ladyBIrd: I CAN’T TAKE ON STYLE QUEEN MYSELF

what does the fox say: lb

what does the fox say: hold on

[11:22 am] direct messages

Rena Rouge: hey

Rena Rouge: lb

Rena Rouge: maybe he’s not here yet

Ladybug: or maybe he got glittered!

Rena Rouge: well you don’t have to take on sq yourself

Rena Rouge: i’m here

Rena Rouge: so is carapace

Ladybug: nope

Ladybug: he got glittered too

Rena Rouge: oof

Rena Rouge: huh what are the chances of all 4 of us being here

Ladybug: i gotta transform

Ladybug: i thought chloe was doing better

Ladybug: she tried to help Marinette with Markov last week

Ladybug: but she’s sucking up to Style Queen

Rena Rouge: she could be playing sq

Rena Rouge: she’s got a boner for you remember

Ladybug: ew, no

Ladybug: just

Ladybug: transform

Rena Rouge: k

Rena Rouge: she’s gonna pay for hitting nino

Rena Rouge: and chat

Rena Rouge: and shellhead i guess

[12:04 pm] direct messages

Rena Rouge: WAS THAT CHAT’S KWAMI

Ladybug: yep

Ladybug: Plagg

Ladybug: don’t worry, first time meeting him for me too

Rena Rouge: i can’t believe he just

Rena Rouge: STAY AWAY FROM THE LADYBUG

Rena Rouge: that was adorable

Rena Rouge: and then i got glittered

Rena Rouge: still salty i missed the mass cataclysm

Ladybug: well, you were right about Chloe

Rena Rouge: yeah

Rena Rouge: getting glittered to save us from sq

Ladybug: I kind of feel sorry for her

Ladybug: realising that your mother won’t love you and doesn’t think you’re exceptional

Ladybug: it’s not an excuse but

Ladybug: I did talk to her a few months ago and she said it was like a switch being flipped

Rena Rouge: maybe u could talk to her again then

Rena Rouge: like

Rena Rouge: we don’t owe her anything

Rena Rouge: but if she stops being a bitch then our lives are better

Ladybug: true

Ladybug: she got Marinette to help her be better, you know

Rena Rouge: ew

Rena Rouge: why would mari do that after all the bullying

Ladybug: probably to make her life and everyone else’s lives easier

Rena Rouge: true

Ladybug: OH SHIT

Rena Rouge: um???

Rena Rouge: why does chloe have the bee??? and calling herself queen bee???

Ladybug: I DROPPED IT

Ladybug: I couldn’t think of anyone on such short notice but my Lucky Charm said so

Ladybug: I was gonna become Ladybee

Rena Rouge: wait you can use two???

Ladybug: yeah but it can be too much to handle

Ladybug: we needed to immobilise Style Queen

Ladybug: and I freaking DROPPED IT

Ladybug: I’m DEAD

Rena Rouge: well

**Rena Rouge: **that was a heck of a mental breakdown

Ladybug: I have to go after Chloe but my family won’t let me out of their sight :|

Rena Rouge: i’ll go

Rena Rouge: wait

Rena Rouge: where exactly are you??

Ladybug: secret identities >:|

Rena Rouge: right sorry

Rena Rouge: i just

Rena Rouge: force of habit

Rena Rouge: not that i ever would’ve exposed you

Ladybug: I know

Ladybug: I trust you

Rena Rouge: lsdkfpsdjcjsahfdsfjhnfdkjlkofkgimgay

Ladybug: Rena

Rena Rouge: right going

[1:37 pm] miraculass

mess w turt u get hurt: um

mess w turt u get hurt: so

mess w turt u get hurt: that happened

what does the fox say: fuckin chloe

ladyBIrd: I’m not judging her

ladyBIrd: like, her mother’s totally awful

ladyBIrd: but jfc I kind of wish I’d gotten another punch in

what does the fox say: still no excuse

catitude: yeah but the way her mum fucked her up on live tv

catitude: i kinda feel bad for her

ladyBIrd: at least she gave the Miraculous back

what does the fox say: fuckin hawkdick

what does the fox say: i could be helping my bff make a life changing choice

what does the fox say: but no i had to bust my arse on another akuma

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh why doesn’t hawkdick have a timer like us

ladyBIrd: because he’s an adult

ladyBIrd: apparently, adults don’t have the limits we do

mess w turt u get hurt: gdi

catitude: looks like no bee for now then

ladyBIrd: btw, Plagg told me details about all the anime you watch

catitude: FUCK

what does the fox say: EXPOSED

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #aotq fic #aotq: hold me #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #group chat #because i am weak #and love group chats #renapace rivalry #robostus #style queen #queen wasp

21 notes · View notes

tellmesomethinggg · 4 years

Text

****

linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read

(for later when i got time lmao)

Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe

well fuck

here goes nothing

the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work

Gaby (coles gf) came too btw

so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)

me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol

later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever

so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out

and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t

so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious

matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship

cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt

and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed

he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh

also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there

also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so

yeah

fuck

alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon

Can Tim see what I write on this? -Chloe

Yes -Janet

Hi Tim!

-Chloe

Tim pls respond.

-Chloe

Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL

He responded I’m so happy!

-Chloe

FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton

and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh

FEB 15 1 pm

chillin in alp so lets get this chisme

alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva

brb

anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao

oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes

and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times

FEB 14 2pm

heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg

so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh

and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room

oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh

i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?

also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens

FEB 10 11am

okay soooo last night,

the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)

we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this

later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th

brb im gonna go eat with him

okay im back now...

anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/

continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit

and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now

also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah

FEB 8 1AM

i remembered:

sunday 2-3

i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died

Monday 2-4

so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah

i like hanging out with him

also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK

i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo

FEB 7 5-7 PM

so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible

saturday 2-2

alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)

so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on

andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them

and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd

and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD

so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room

(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)

sunday 2-3

so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening

i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao

and then i go to work :(

but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)

and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)

monday 2-4

so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]

alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again

possibly staying the night lmao

but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night

1 note · View note

do-what-the-knight-tells-you · 5 years

Text

Elements from the Broadchurch novelization that were of particular interest::

- Ellie is a bit uncomfortable returning to work because her “suit feels strange after three weeks in a bikini and sarong”. You go get it, Ellie. Anyone wanting to write confident-and-body-positive-knows-she’s-got-dem-curves Ellie, here’s your semi-canonical backing. mother of two, rockin’ a bikini. Excellent.

- Although the division of work/responsibility between her and Joe worked for them, Ellie Worries that ppl will “think he is emasculated”, or that he will begin to feel “emasculated”, so while “the other wives are on the phone begging their husbands to come home in time to put the kids to bed, she is virtually throwing him out of the house and into the pub”, really trying to encourage him to hang with the guys or whatever, whenever the opportunity presents itself.

- Hardy is already on the edge when we first see him, talking to the farmer whose tractor has had its gas siphoned. He’s carefully staying away from the edge of the cliff, scared it’s going to induce vertigo and heart palpitations.

- The sections that are a close POV on Hardy have way more detail about the Sandbrook case than was originally clear in S1 (I assume, because the book was published after the bulk of the writing/story construction stuff was finished for S2). For instance, When Hardy is first inspecting Danny’s room, he’s struggling, trying not to think about [Pippa]’s room (she’s not named here, but it’s clear that’s the child he’s referring to). in the midst of this turmoil, he notices the height measurements on danny’s doorframe, and is overcome by the realization that there will never be any more above them. And then there are these heart-wrenching sentences: “For some people, tears dam behind the eyeballs. But when Hardy wants to cry, he has to hold them in using the back of his throat. He sometimes feels it’s the only strong muscle in his body.” yeah, c’mon, just fuck me up.

- Maggie being into women is present from the beginning here! She has a partner, Lil, whom we see/meet several times! First time she is referenced is when Rev. Paul Coates invites Maggie and everyone to that first church service about Danny. She mentions that a predecessor of his made it clear she was unwelcome there, once. He assures her that’s not him, and that she is welcome, and Lil too. She says something like “as it should be, “ and ends the convo without indicating whether or not she will come. Excellent.

- At one point the inside of Ellie’s car is compared to the inside of a bin/trash can, with empty cans and food wrappers strewn about. This further reinforces my theory that Ellie and Alec need each other to balance out their eating habits to something actually healthy. He eats very well, as far as nutrition is concerned, but he just sort of stops eating when there is work to be done. She is going to eat, goddamnit, come hell or high water, but it is plenty likely to be anything from an entire loaf of bread to whatever the vending machine has. It’s a wonder neither of them has died of malnutrition. (she also makes mention that she’s lost weight, in a probably unhealthy way, by the end of the investigation, and has a sudden realization that she’s maybe kind of, turning into Hardy).

- End of Chapter 17, Ellie offers a hand to help Hardy in or out of a boat, he has a realization “unexpectedly painful” that he cannot remember the last time he held a woman’s hand.

- In general the poor bastard really is constantly on the edge of vertigo and panic attacks.

- Reminds me again, whatever did happen with Ellie’s sister??? did we ever see any kind of furtherance or resolution of her gambling issues in the later seasons?

- Oh Shit. “I didn’t take your money.” The money Joe gave Danny, that SOCCO found taped beneath his bed, that was Ellie’s holiday money, and she assumed her sister had stolen it. Shit. What a shitbag.

- One of Hardy’s favorite things about Tess was the ability to come home, throwing last minute ideas and theories at each other, being able to pass idle thoughts back and forth, turn them over, hear them in a new light, and see what they grow into. (incidentally, exactly what he’s developing with Ellie)

- The exchange between Alec and Ellie after SOCCO Brian hits on her is great here as well. She giggles, he asks her why, she figures she needs to share this with someone, and tells him. she thinks “his face froze in another one of his Does-Not-Compute expressions”. So he seems just as weird to her as to us, does a terrible job hiding the awkward nerd within. And she totally thinks it’s cute. Bet me. Goes on to think, after they talk about SOCCO having dirty hands, “ ‘Dirty Brian’, Hardy says, with a playful roll of the ‘R’ ”. They’re totally playing with each other and it’s adorable. “She thinks to herself that it’s the first moment of genuine humor they’ve had between them, so of course she immediately messes it up.” asking about Sandbrook.

- Oh Shit, Jack’s wife shows up at his funeral. hides her identity the entire time, and Spits in Karen-the-reporter’s face before she gets in a car and disappears again.

- Hardy has a panic attack after calling Daisy and giving up for the night. “I can’t do this, Hardy hears himself say, and the words are followed by an agonizing pain, a huge fist squeezing his heart to the bursting point. He staggers back until he hits a wall, and slides helplessly down it. Hardy assumes his childhood comfort position, knees pulled up to his chest, so close that he can rest his chin there. Experience tells him that he can hold this pose for hours and hours. He remains motionless amidst the debris of his investigation until his heart rate returns to its version of normal. By the time he gets up with a low wheeze and click of joints, it is dark outside.”

- Ellie calls Joe to say she’s still stuck at her desk and she’ll be late, on the night Susan Wright is arrested. He says it’s okay, but she can hear in his voice that it is not. (So, is that the last straw? she keeps staying late, it’s clear that this shit is going to drag on forever, and his family and life are NOT going to return to normal, no matter if he keeps getting away with his crime? And this is the window, his only window maybe, where she might be too busy to intercept if he confesses? This is the opportunity to confess to Hardy, and not her?) because very shortly thereafter (and leaving his kids alone and unwatched???) they receive the call from Danny’s mobile, and they catch him out at the cabin... and holy shit, even knowing it’s her (and he must know it’s her), he slams the cabin door open into her face, probably hard enough to beak her nose, and then minutes later shoves her to the ground so hard the reader spends a moment wondering if she’s broken her wrist.

- AND THE FUCKER TENDERLY PICKS GRAVEL OUT OF THE CUTS THAT NIGHT

- (if someone wanted to write an AU, one where he is also injured that night, and his failure to hide that injury tips her off the next day, or that night, and so she is the one to put together the pieces.... and arrest him? god that would be heartbreaking. But perhaps would enable a situ where she doesn’t beat the shit out of him in custody, thereby invalidating his confession, so that shit actually sticks...)

- When Hardy gives the interview to Maggie and Ollie, the book makes it clear that he expects his confession of being cheated on is going to cause them to regard him with pity and shame. He is embarrassed to have been cheated on. He calls himself a cuckold in his head. poor bastard. so confused when they respond with empathy and admiration for him, and disapproval and dismissal toward his wife.

- Happily, an answer to the argument Jack saw, between the Postal worker and Danny. Turns out, the punk had had his truck keyed, and knew Danny on his paper route was one of the only ppl who would have been out and about at the right time of night/morning to have done it. he confronted Danny, and that’s what Jack witnessed. He comes clean to the police towards the end, insists that that is as far as it ever went, and admits that he lied because he was afraid that having had that argument, having had sort-of-a-motive, that would make him a suspect.

- Fuck, I mean, we all know Joe is dangerous, but talking Danny back off the cliff and back into the house consciously with his paramedic voice, with the kind of experience and calm honed over years of professional work... goddamn, so many ways in which he had power over young Danny.

- The moment she believes Joe could have done it. She says it can’t have been him, because the boat was burned while she was away. He would have had to leave the kids alone while he did it, and he would never take that risk. Hardy confirms that he did, that he left them, and Ellie (immediately believes Hardy, btw) finally truly understands that the moral partner she’s been building a family with no longer exists, if he ever did in the first place.

- Hardy briefly considering telling Ellie about Tess, to empathize with her pain and betrayal, and immediately knowing the situations are too different to be useful. being disappointed in himself for having thought it. pulling on every little bit of experience and training he’s ever had to try to get through the conversation.

- Oh shit. the slug trails. the slug. that little bit of symbolism didn’t feel established in the tv series, she just squishes a slug the last time she enters the house. but in the novel, her merry war trying to find the slug is a constant recurring thing, seeing the trails on the carpet, but never able to find it, the thing only coming out when they’re asleep, Joe cleaning up the slug trails after they come back from vacation. Her staring at them in despair as she cries into the carpet one night, over Danny. and then, after Joe has been revealed, she comes home and there the bastard is, big fat slug that’s been lurking in her house all this time, sitting, glistening, in plain sight. and she squishes the hell out of it. And I was so caught up in the story that, even though I BEEN KNEW how it was gonna end, I never picked up on the fucking foreshadowing until that last moment. Am I just dense, or is it just good storytelling? XD

#Broadchurch #ds ellie miller #di alec hardy #it was well worth having read the novel #orlistened to it #actally #since that's what I do #my meta #broadchurch resources

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87devices · 5 years

Text

QOAAD

*SPOILERY REVIEW/THOUGHTS*

I finished QOAAD a couple days ago and I’ll say I have some mixed thoughts on it. I am somewhat disappointed tbh but it also DID have its moments.

I have to say I felt this book had too many POVs. I didn’t like that. I didn’t feel like they were all necessary. All the POVs only ended up with me feeling very disconnected from the story as a whole, and the characters, even my faves at times. I think the POVs where one part of the problem, the other I am not sure. Maybe Cassie has too many projects on her plate or idk but something impacted her writing. Not just for QOAAD but I felt it in Ghosts of the Shadow Market stories too. It had a few exceptions but compared to The Shadowhunter Academy short stories overall, they just weren’t as good. :/ As much as it pains me we gotta wait like 4 yrs for TWP maybe its a good thing? The onslaught of books may have passed and TWP will get more focus. Im just gonna tell myself this to get through the waiting time OTL.

I will start with thoughts on Emma and Julian as they are the main characters.

I like both Julian and Emma’s characters, but I think they lost me somewhere at some point in this series as a couple. I can’t say exactly when but reading QOAAD I realized I didn’t care for them as a couple. I’ve seen this is the case for many others too. Was I very intrigued where the parabatai curse would lead? Yes, but that’s it. Now the parabatai curse, I wasn’t too satisfied with how that played out. I kinda was and I kinda wasn’t. I guess I was expecting something bad to happen some consequences but the rune just burned away and that was that. I loved when Julian got his emotions back and went all into head of the institute since I was a child mode. Like I know my shit I know what I’m doing. Then Dru being like “good to have you back, I missed your lunatic schemes” xD I love Julian scheming ok, lol but like with emotions.

I gotta say one of my favorite things about TDA and what I felt like was one of its strong points is that togetherness the Blackthorns had as a family. My favorite thing about Julian was his love for his kids cause they are his kids!! BUT I just didn’t feel it in this book. When looking forward to QOAAD I was looking forward to how they were all going to deal with Livvy’s death. The kids where gonna need Julian so much but he just wasn’t there for them ALL throughout the book which was my BIGGEST disappointment. At first he wasn’t there because he took away his emotions and separated from them, then he got back and because he was emotionless he couldn’t be there for Ty when Ty reached out to him clearly troubled and broken. Now, I don’t blame him. He was emotionless after all, but after he did get them back I feel like he didn’t make the effort to be there for them. It was like he didn’t remember the way Ty reached out to him before and the things he said to him about his plan. After he got his emotions he was all busy with the Horace-Cohort situation and his situation with Emma but what about the KIDS JULES?! ;_; It was Ty who again sought him but he didn’t really try to pay attention to what was going on with him, during and after their little convo. It felt like

Jules: oh btw you good?

Ty: yeah sure

Jules: ok im here btw

Ty: K

Jules: K

And that was it. He never found out about the necromancy or biting and just *sigh*. At least the biting is something he should’ve and would’ve noticed as Dru pointed out. Everyone was on their own basically and then in the end he and Emma are going on a travel vacay. Like what?! There was Helen but Helen is not Julian. She is trying to get to know them but Julian is the one who is basically their parent. There are 2 things I loved about Julian best, one was his willingness to do what needed to be done, and second was his care for his family and like I said, I did not feel it here. :[ I’ll say I do love Julian’s character, and more than Emma’s actually. Emma is just fine, but there is a lot more going on with Julian. Though neither are my faves in this series. But I love Julian xD

THULE: ok so I was sobbing during this part. I couldn’t control my tears. All this broke my heart when we found out about how everyone’s fates turned out. I felt so sad for Livvy all alone there. Everything was just so tragic ;_;. I do found myself wanting for the POV to switch to see their friends and family freaking out about what happened to Emma and Julian. I’ll say it didn’t make sense to me how Ash went into Thule only like 5 minutes before Jemma and he aged up yrs yet Jules and Emma where there for a pretty long time too and nothing?? It was another reason I wanted the POVs to switch I was wondering if yrs where passing by in their world or what. I’ll say I did enjoy the pain and hurt Thule gave me lol. It was one of those moments where like I didn’t felt disconnected with the characters at all. I was very much feeling all the feels but it also felt like I left QOAAD and was thrust back into CoHF. It felt too much like TMI it was kind of a whiplash, like from TDA i went back to TMI then TDA again. 0.0

Now to my faves

Ash!: He was one of my favorite things of this book! His character was so interesting. I have high hopes for his character. He is probably not all good or all bad but what I’ve seen of him from boy to teen he is more good and human than meets the eye. Cassie Cassie Cassie! Do we really need a 3rd evil Morgenstern? No, No Nope! He deserves the chance Sebastian never had! </3. ;_;

The way he shook when he was holding that sword with the Unseelie King when he was trying to make him kill Kieran. He clearly didn’t want to and not only that, he questioned WHY, like he thought you can’t just kill someone just because. Then in Thule we had Thule Dru talk about how she noticed he didn’t want to be there for Thule Sebastian’s executions, among the rest of things that happened there.

Now Ash and Dru, omg PLS I ship already! I cant wait for them!

Ty and Kit!: My other faves, my babies. I am the most invested in them! I just knew they were going to be separated at the end of this. I had a feeling. Then they made that “To never being parted” declaration in the campfire and I knew for sure oh no, they are gonna part. ;_; Their fight in Lake Lyn broke my heart a little bit, tears were shed. It particular broke my heart how while they were both physically fighting, they were crying about it and the whole situation. Though I’ll say I also did like that Kit went to live with Jem and Tessa <3. I feel like he is in the process of finding himself as a shadowhunter and just as a person too. I love that Jessa will be like his family. I cant wait for Jessa being parents! Also the arc of them separating only to meet again yrs later with so much unsaid ugh I cant wait for them either OTL. I could drown myself in feels thinking about all the different scenarios in which they might meet again. ;_; Oh! When they were in the campsite and Kit was wondering why Ty didn’t went inside the tent with him right away was everything. His mind was just reeling with TY scenarios it was the cutest.

I have to say I hope TY, KIT, and DRU, as they are our main characters are given priority in TWP no 10+ POVs PLS. (Ash gotta be in the POVs though ofc.) We only have 3 books with them. They deserve the focus so we can connect with them the most. Heck if there is no more than 4/5 POVs even better. We can get to know other and new characters without being in their heads as we got to love Ty without his POV in TDA.

Mark, Kieran, Christina: Other characters I love too. What can I say? I love that this threesome happened. I think the initial delivery coulda been better, but I loved their ending. When I say their initial delivery I mean their coming together as 3. I LOVED that spark they had in LOS when we first could see that there could be something between the 3 of them like ‘OMG what?!’. But in QOAAD I feel like I didn’t get like a full understanding of how and why Kristina and Kieran came to love each other. We could all see the love, feelings, and intense connection between Mark and Kieran since LOS. Also the connection between Mark and Christina, but with Kieran and Christina I feel like it needed more development. They were suddenly very into each other when they hadn’t spent much time together after LOS events and Kieran left with Diego. I’ll say what did help that a bit was that it was actually pointed out by Christina herself, saying how what they might have (Kier+Tina) is probably not close to the connection Mark and Kieran do. Despite this I love how it eventually concluded with the three of them. It was bittersweet, like Kieran my boy <3 ;__; but I liked it very much. Have I said how much I specifically love Kieran and Mark because I do!!

Lastly, woah I did not see that coming with the clave leaving Idris. I’m shocked they even agreed to that considering how prideful they are of their home. It is also like a safety cocoon for them. Im still processing, this is a huge change. It will be so interesting where the shadowhunter world goes from here.

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tellywoodtrash · 6 years

Text

ishqbaaz 21.08.18 lb

dang. straight to the point.

telling how the chunri slipped from her head right then.

lmao nikhil’s insecurity isn’t gonna be gone thanks to the divorce you dummy. his insecurity is wrt to A. your very large bank balance, and B. the raw sexual chemistry you seem to have with his girl.

idk what utopia shivaay lives in where a divorce in india is gotten SOOOOOOOO easily.

anika trying desperately to taalofy. good move, girl.

FUCK. FOILED. THIS FUCKER IS CARRYING A COPY IN HIS COAT POCKET AT ALL TIMES IT SEEMS. ONE TIGHT SLAP HE NEEDS. ASSHOLE.

lol he’s sooooooooo going to fuck up the papers. consciously or subconsciously idk, but he’s gonna do it for sure.

pehle aap pehle aap mein gaadi chootti jaa rahi hai fucking idiotsssssssss!

fuck he’s signing. HE’S SIGNING. FUCKING HELL BILLU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

DUDE LOOK AT HER FACE. DOES SHE LOOK LIKE SHE WANTS YOU TO??????????

iska adh-maraa chehra toh dekho while signing. chaanta lagaaon ya kya karoon iske saath?

where the fuck is om, he needs to bust in here and kick shivaay’s dumb ass from here back to the OU istg.

LMAO AT THE WAY THEY’RE JUST SAYING “SIGN” “WAIT” “MR KUKREJA” IN VARYING ORDERS.

snort pen ke bhi issues.

“chal raha hai” *grabs at it and clicks it a few times* SHIVAAY WHAT EVEN ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGG YOU DUMBASS

abhi tak toh sign sign kar raha tha. jab woh sign kar rahi hai then you have the audacity to be all frozen and devastated? literally fuck outta here, shivaay.

of course.

a poor substitute for her chand bracelet btw.

of course, anika has gyaan to baatofy. bish tum toh kuch bolo hi mat. tangg aa gayi hoon main tumhare chutiyaape se.

shivaay you’re right and all, but *longest sigh ever* you just can’t do anything right, even when you try your hardest. i’m just so done with you.

son honestly. 87% of me is very happy at your tadap but the rest of me is just so sad for you. you poor dumb fucker.

also are they dyeing nakuul’s beard these days? it looks... darker in a not-natural way?

ugh you both are justtttttttttt suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh idiotssss.

but the angst! i loveeeeee it. delicious!

where are rikara, honestly??????????? THEY COULD BE USED SO WELL TO FUCK ALL OF THISSSSSSS UP SO SPECTACULARLY. USSI BAHAANE SCREEN PAR BHI DIKH JAAYENGE. WHY AREN’T YOU USING THEM YOU DUMBASS SHOW?!?!!?!?

oh thank god at least gauri’s here.

om’s here too. but that’s not what i want???? i want them togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. schemingggggggggggg. all up and close in each other’s facessssssssss as a bahaana of “plan making”.

ah fuck. he’s crying. that soft “ek minute, om.” the wiping his nose like a child. i can actuallllly feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel that tightness in his chest. ah mannnnnnnnnnnn.

fuck meeeeeeeee, why do i fall for man-pain, every single timeeeeeeee???????

this framing tells me that something is going to get hurled at the camera real soon. phone? that rack? aur kuch hai kya phenkne laayak yahaan?

rack it is.

lol why was om panicking from just hearing the magazines being thrown tho?

fuck. see? this is what i meannnnnnnnnnnnnn when i say this dude’s best acting is non verbal. just never give him lines ever again.

“main theek hoon. tu bataa, kya discuss karna hai?”

lmaooooooooooooo “bitch really???????” om’s face. honestly, he makes suchhhhh a good audience proxy.

sure. aal iz well.

same, gauri. #same.

ooooh khanna gets snack tasting duty. nice. how to get a job like this?

but like, without having to deal with shivaay as a boss. at all.

eeeeeeeeeeee cuteness!

every time gauri maarofies a taana about “aapke bhai” and om agrees, i get 4 days added to my lifespan.

....... and who the fuck is bhaiyya to “strictly” decide the wedding theme?????? neither the bride nor the groom, so how does his opinion even matter?

lol anika has the same point to make. itna sab kuch kar liya hai toh yeh bhi khud hi decide kar le bc.

UGH THESE TWO ADORABLE MOTHERFUCKERS. I WANNA SMOOSH THEM TOGETHER TO FORM A S’MORE FILLED WITH BEAUTY AND LOVE.

is khulle saand ko laal ka phobia hai? really?

the way gauri keeps looking towards ommmmmmmmm every single time, to bond over the inside joke, i can’t you guys! i just can’t! can you two just go make out in some corner somewhere??!?!!? why are you wasting your timeeeee hereee with these losers????????//

cyoot patoot. too adorbz.

ANIKA HE LOOKS NICE IN HIS NEUTRALS OK. PLS. APNE TAANO SE DON’T MAKE HIM CHANGE INTO OU ADVENTUROUS SSO. MAIN JHEL NAHI PAAUNGI!

lolwhut did om just say “oh my my!”?????????????????

pffffffffffffffffffft om you adorable creep. use these sexy hands of yours on that cute girl there, not on your damn brother.

baby sisters the cutest.

gauri out here kholofying all of di’s secrets. maine toh pehle hi kaha tha, yeh ghar ka bhedi hi lankaa dhaa degi.

also pool ka mention and paani ka darrrr means we all know what’s gonna happen!

om that’s a really dumb “solution”. one of these things is not like the other. the colour red cannot actually kill your brother. lord.

ohohoho unintentional emo moment in middle of hasi mazaak.

this is the dumbest fucking “challenge” ever to get them both in the damn pool. like... just have her fall in man.

lmao he’s sooooooooooooooo mad at being challenged tho.

not listening to this ainvayi ka chutiyaap because:

UGHHHHHHHHHH WHAT EVEN ARE THESE FACES!?!?!

lmao this is the most accurate pictorial representation of the sibling dynamics here rn.

god, what even are these technicolour kapde. i feel like i’m dropping acid.

lmao she’s sooooooooo bored.

omggggg i love how she noped outta that convo with nikhil to go talk to om instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be still my aniKara loving heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also #omkaraIsBae

LMAOOOOOOO THE TWO BABY SISTERS’ REACTIONS ARE BEST.

matlab maanna padega is bande ke confidence ko. looking smug wearing... THAT.

you know it’s true love when you’re dressed like that and she looks at you like THIS. #loveisblind

lol ok shivaay, enough with the smizing already. you’re way too short to be ANTM.

lolololol chachi’s reaction.

talk about upstaging the damn bride. how fucking rude, shivaay.

but i guess the bride explicitly asked for it so......

i cannot get over the range of emotions om went through in the last 30 secs:

lmaooooooooooo and finally his kinda proud mama hen look, like “see? see how hot my bhai is? abhi bhi der nahi hui hai bhaabi!”:

ugh ok enough of this slo mo nonsense already.

oh great. naach gaana. i actually like this song though. imma just forward around a lil bit to see if there’s any good rikara bits, though lorddddddd, kunal’s dancing is just *shudder*

TFW THE WEDDING PLANNER (WHO’S BRIBING YOU TO GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE) AND YOUR TO-BE WIFE ARE EYE-SEXING EACH OTHER AND NO ONE GIVES ONE (1) SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOU.

wow even chachi is shipping shivika now. such is the power of colour coordinated couples.

THIS IS SO RANDOM. WHY’S HE DANCING WITH HER WHILE NIKHIL IS STANDING THERE??????????? AND THE LAMEASS CHALLENGE WAALE ISHAARE BS. AND THE FACT THAT THEY MADE RIKARA AND PRINKU THE BG DANCERS??????????? THIS IS ALL JUST SUCHHHHHHHH BAKCHODI OF THE HIGHEST ORDER AND I CAN’T STOP CRINGE LAUGHING.

same, saasumaa. honestly, #same.

but then he’s paying for the whole wedding. so let him dance with her, i guess. lol.

bro this isn’t appropriate in desi society even if you’re the fucking groom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT EVEN ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!!??!?

LMAOOOOOOO CHACHI THO.

literalllllllllllllllly no fucks given. amaaaaaaaaaazing. the balls on these two. i have no words. honestly.

lmaooooooooo poooora gaana hone ke baad, after finishing his grind up on the bride, shivaay pulls nikhil in as an afterthought. just... what a guyyyyy.

THEY STILL WON’T STOP EYE-FUCKING OMG YOU GUYS I JUST CACKLED OUT SO LOUD THAT I STARTLED THE CAT AWAKE. JFC. THESE TWO ARE JUST SOMETHING ELSE.

someone please get kunal some anti seizure meds for the epileptic fit he’s currently having.

(i’m sorry! he’s just SO BAD. WHY DO THEY MAKE HIM DANCEEEEEEEEE???????????)

I LEGIT HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO COZ I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. THIS POOR DUMBASS. I DON’T THINK ALL THE MONEY IS WORTH THIS BEIZZATI.

ohohohoh. time for dream sequence.

i mean i like this song and all, but come on, it’s fucking 10 years old. why not something nice and new? the dhadak title track really fits them rn. ugh.

also the choreography is really some trite bs. honestly, some effort would have been nice.

i’m just here for the aesthetic (uski toh inhone dhaijjiyaan uda di) good looking ppl making gooey eyes at each other.

OMFG WE GET BOTH POOL MAKING OUT *AND* THE RETURN OF TIA TOMORROW?!?!?!?!? GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

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newdougg · 6 years

Text

Just a bit of a personal problem

I’m procrastinating so hard on finishing this one shot I’ve been writing for a while so instead of working on that I’m gonna tell you about this guy and this might get long but I have a lot of ~feelings~ right now that I wanna talk about and maybe no one cares but I just wanna get it out

For context, I have a seasonal in a haunted house that’s run out of a historic site in the middle of a big city. I’m NOT an actor; I’m part of the historical tours that you can pay more to go through before the haunted house. Basically what I do is walk behind the tour as the the guide is giving it, making sure everyone is staying together and following the rules. This section I work in has only 5 people including myself in it so we’re all really close. And we’re all straight girls. So every season, we pick out a haunt crush. It’s stupid, but fun. None of us really act on it anyway. (Except my one friend who is now dating her crush!!!! The dream!!!!!)

Anyway last year I had an okcupid and got matched up with someone who worked there year round. It was a 98% match!!!! In reality that is a meaningless number but like at the time it felt like a big deal. And he was super chill, we had stuff in common, and it turns out he’s from my hometown so it seemed like a good deal, right? Well I’m a very shy and awkward person especially with someone I’m attracted to so it didn’t go anywhere. I tried inviting him out for drinks after work and stuff but he always said no, which was so fucking frustrating. And then this season, I found out he asked out another girl, so that ship has done sailed. Whatever.

So during one of our training days, I have to go back to the costume department to get ponchos for my team because we’re on radio and they can’t get wet. The hall outside the costume area is very narrow, and there’s a few people in front of me and a bunch of people passing through so everyone is trying to stay out of everyone else’s way. Just before it’s my turn to ask for the ponchos, the guy in front of me gets whatever he needed, takes a step back practically into me, and as he turns, his hand brushes all the fuckin way across my chest. Like it was slightly obscene, and 100% accidental. But he’s fucking FINE. So I didn’t care because it was clearly an accident but he apologized a LOT. And I thought that was the last of it.

It wasn’t.

That night for training, we had to give the actors tours of the site. And guess who’s on my tour???????????? Like I said, I have to stand at the back of the tour the whole time, and while he was there he was ALWAYS at the back, not very far from me. But we don’t say a word to each other.

From here on out I’m gonna refer to this guy as Haunt Crush.

Then, a few days later, it’s our haunt field trip. Every year the whole cast goes to another haunted house nearby and it’s always a good time. So the first attraction my friends and I are waiting for is taking forever. And we start to get bored. So my one friend starts talking to the guys behind us, and one of them is Haunt Crush. And she knows about the boob touching incident because of course I told her. And of course I pointed him out discreetly as the boob toucher. So she gets his name, and says he can hang out with us for the night. And on the inside I was just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we get tired of waiting for that attraction, and move onto a different one. For this one you have to take like an unnecessary 5 minute bus ride for the Effect™. So I sit in one seat, and he sits in the one in front of me. And we talk a little bit. And it was actually fine. When we get to the actual attraction, my one friend says to him about me, “She gets really scared (sidebar: yeah I work in a haunted house but like they still freak me out especially when it’s one where my friends aren’t the actors) so I’ll go first and you go behind her, she might grab onto you jsyk” and I kinda wanna kill her but Haunt Crush says “That’s totally fine” and I almost died on the SPOT.

As we’re going through the attraction, which was super long btw, I was predictably freaking out, but also too nervous to actually grab onto him, despite him giving me the green light.

But he for sure grabbed onto me.

Haunt Crush was like checking in, making sure I was ok and stuff, and I was, but like it was nice. We went through two other attractions before we had to leave and sadly we couldn’t sit on the bus back together because we had to sit on the same bus we were on the way there. But he did say he would get a drink with my friends and I when we got back. I fell asleep on the bus because it was late and I was still really tired when we got so I just wanted to go home. But when I got off the bus, I was kinda looking for him to say bye. But when I finally saw Haunt Crush, he was hugging another girl and then walked right past me and left. I mean, he probably didn’t see me and just because he’s hugging some other girl doesn’t mean anything but still

So then one day of training is the mock run of the haunt, which is when the operations team (which I am a part of) go through the haunt and all the actors are in costume but no make up. So we’re going through and we finally get to Haunt Crush’s section and he scares me but also is like “Hey it’s you!” and I said hi but had to keep moving. So when we get out of the haunt, we’re just waiting around the exit but my one friend and I left for some reason I can’t remember, and then came back like 10 minutes later. My other friend said she saw Haunt Crush and asked if he wanted to go the bar with us after, and he said yes

So for the rest of the work night I was freaking out because I’m the type of person who needs to mentally prepare for going out and with the added factor of someone I’m into being there???? Yeah I was pretty fucking nervous. So nervous that the only thing that I could do to calm down was drink many drinks. My friends and I were there for a while waiting because it takes actors a while to get out of make up and it goes in order what zone you’re in and he’s in one of the last ones OF COURSE. And the whole time we’re waiting my friends are giving me a pep talk and trying to calm me down but I just drink more. I kept looking across the street to see if he was coming it was pathetic.

And when he finally shows up, I was pretty buzzed. We were sitting at the bar and my friends were sitting with us but of course one by one they excused themselves from the convo until it was just the two of us and tbh we had a pretty good time! And he bought me a drink! But I bought him like two... I can’t really remember what we talked about though because like I said I was drunk. Eventually we both left and my friend, who is also the manager of the whole haunt, gave me a ride home.

I had work again the next day, and I see my friend who drove me home. She asks me about Haunt Crush. She isn’t supposed to know that’s a thing. She told me that she was sitting across from us the whole night and it was so obvious and he seemed into it too and I want to fucking die everytime I think about that.

BTW, if anyone is still reading at this point, wow. Thanks, and you’re a trooper.

Anyways, that day was the full dress rehearsal. So people from the neighborhood can go through the haunt and so can the operations team. So my friends and I go through again. See, at our haunt, we let the guests have the option of letting the actors touch you. Basically, you wear a glow necklace and that means the actors can grab you and even temporarily separate you from your group; you can go through secret tunnels, down slides, etc. (Not all haunts give you the option though and they just touch you no matter what but that’s a whole discourse for another time) So I get the glow necklace. And when we finally get to Haunt Crush’s zone I was PUMPED because like what if he makes a move because I got the glow necklace?????????? But sadly he didn’t. I mean, he really went in to scare me though, not that it’s hard.

So after work that night, there’s a big kick off party at the bar across the street. Again, my friends are giving me a pep talk. Because here’s the thing: I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever. Never even kissed a boy. I have so many complexes and hang ups and insecurities it’s really fucked me up. So even just talking to someone I’m interested in is a big deal to me. hence the drinking. So everyone from the haunt, like almost 300 people, show up so the bar is packed. And i don’t see him at first but he eventually finds our table and we talk but again I was drunk so I can’t remember everything we were talking about at this point. I do remember him saying that he was surprised I got the glow necklace, and he wanted to give me space because he knew how scared I would get. I almost flipped the table when he said that. Like bro, THAT WAS SUCH A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY WASTED WTF????????

But my one friend is asking him under the pretense that she’s crushing on someone what guys like in girls. He says stuff but I blank out. Probably because alcohol and because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable.

And that’s when she shows up.

He excuses himself to go outside and he’s talking to the girl he hugged after the haunt trip. And she’s like all over him. No shame. And she’s young too, and he’s not. So that was extremely discouraging. And i just wanted to leave. But my friends made me stay, and said I had to be more aggressive because that’s what he likes in girls apparently. Like, I am the least aggressive person when it comes to shit like this??????? I’m fucked.

So I go to the bar because I need a drink, and my one friend comes with me and I almost have a breakdown right there. Because of course the one guy who maybe kind of sort of showed a little interest in me has this other way more attractive girl after him. It shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did and yet I was holding back tears. P A T H E T I C.

Buuuuuuut then he came over to the bar. And I was dumb and bought him a shot. I also got myself one. My wallet is still recovering. He did offer to buy me a drink but I don’t know why I didn’t let him. So we sit outside with my other friend who I’ve known forever, because by this point my friends who I went there with were leaving. And then this bitch comes over and sits right fucking next to him. And she’s even more drunk than I was. She’s being so extra, trying to get his attention and shit. She falls off her chair and as she gets up she makes sure to basically put her ass in his face. I went back again to the bar, and got some shots, and I put one down right in front of him while looking her in the eye. I don’t know what came over me.

Anyways she eventually leaves, thank god, and it’s just me, Haunt Crush, and my friend. We talk, mostly stuff about where we grew, how my friend and I knew each other, past haunt stories, etc. And it’s late, like almost 3 am, so it’s time to go. And when I say I’m leaving, he wants to go too. So we say our goodbyes to whoever is still there, and Haunt Crush, my friend and I start walking to our homes. He walks with us for a couple blocks before he has to head in the other direction. And he hugs me goodbye and I wanted to melt.

That was like a week ago, and I haven’t seen him since. A couple nights later I didn’t go out after work, but he did. My friend said he didn’t stay long though. I went out the night after that but he didn’t. That night though, I got drunk again (surprise) and I sent him a friend request and I didn’t remember that I did until I saw he accepted it the next morning. But I was scared that he was only hanging out with me because I bought him drinks. So my friends told me that he followed me to the bar twice, when that girl was all over him he kept pushing her away, and the one time I was at the bar, Haunt Crush was asking my friend about me. So there’s that

Idk man. Typing all this out and really going through all of it again kind of makes me think I’m reading too much into it. My friend saw him tonight and said we were planning on going out tomorrow. He said he would but also asked why we weren’t going out tonight. It’s because I’ve been sick all week and feel like shit rn. I hope he’s there tomorrow though.

If you read all this, and have advice or thoughts or just want to tell me I’m being dumb, let me know. Because I hate how I can’t handle this at all and I feel so stupid and thanks for reading.

#personal #not marvel #I'm so embarrassing and pathetic

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