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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 4 months

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i hope this isn't a weird ask, but i'm looking for some hope. i consider myself really fucking stupid. i don't think i have good "critical thinking" skills, or even good reading comprehension. do you think it's possible to get better at those things?

as i mentioned earlier, my answer is yes. as i also mentioned, i genuinely think that the fact that you are less than confident about your skills in these areas is itself valuable and not as common as it probably should be. i have worked with a fair number of kids, both in the elementary school classroom and in the upper grades for test prep stuff, whose reading comprehension isn't great, but who genuinely do not seem to notice there is anything off about their reading until they have to answer questions about it. they're in the habit of just glossing by a lot of stuff and not noticing. i have met kids who would swear to you they love to read who cannot accurately recount what actually happens in the scene they just read, but who seem pretty confident that what they're doing is reading. so if you're going around reading stuff and thinking, "hey, that's confusing" - congratulations! you are great at self-assessing your own comprehension. this is REALLY HARD for a lot of people to do.

i also think it's actually important to NOT think of either reading comprehension or critical thinking as a binary on/off switch, where you're either good at it or bad at it. both of these things are spectrums. in addition, both of these things are context dependent. there are a lot of things i have pretty good reading comprehension for. there are also types of text where my reading comprehension is straight-up bad: scientific papers published for other scientists to read; philosophy or literary theory of any kind; poetry. i tried to reread laura mulvey's original "male gaze" essay because i suspected people were using the concept wrong both in its favor, and i couldn't meaningfully follow its argument (although i think i am probably right because i don't really believe that many randos are so much better at interpreting freudian film theory than i am, lmao). these are all examples of texts where i don't have a lot of background knowledge in the subject area or a lot of experience reading this kind of thing. they are also mostly things i don't care enough about to put in the time and effort to get better at. (sometimes i think about trying to do this with poetry, but i have not prioritized this yet, to say the least.)

critical thinking also depends majorly on familiarity with a topic or at least with a field. i'll give you an example. on the podcast maintenance phase, the hosts attempt to apply critical thinking to common perceptions of scientific research. some of their points are good, and many of them sound convincing to me, a person who doesn't know a lot about science. but i soured on the podcast over time largely because on the subreddit for the show, an attempt at a scientific deep dive often brought at least one person who was like, "i have some expertise in this field and they are wrong." sometimes this is about interpreting a specific study (or, uh basic factual shit like the definition of a word), but a lot of times it's about big picture stuff that is hard to think about if you don't have experience in the field. one recent example that interested me was regarding a study done on ozempic. the hosts mentioned that in the trial, (iirc) two people died. sounds scary and not great! someone on reddit pointed out, though, that this was a very large study that recorded deaths for any reason - it's probably not statistically anomalous that two out of however many people died, and there's no evidence to indicate that ozempic had anything to do with it. i appreciated this science-minded redditor because i definitely listened to the episode and was like, wow! scary! but when i read that explanation i was like, oh, okay, yeah.

i am not any kind of expert, and i guess you didn't technically ask for advice, but here are some things that may or may not be helpful.

with regard to reading comprehension:

struggle is a normal part of reading, especially of reading complicated texts. if you are struggling with a text, it does NOT mean you "have bad reading comprehension" or are fucking up. it indicates you have good self-awareness about your own level of comprehension.

i don't have research on this one. this is speculation. but my hunch is that for people who have a certain baseline level of reading comprehension, reading things that are challenging to understand over time increases the amount of stuff you can read easily. i was definitely better at reading books by historians at the end of my history degree than i was at the start. and honestly, i was also better at it after i spent like a year obsessively reading books about new york city history than i was when i graduated!

related to that, it's okay to understand something mostly but not all the way!

it's also okay to determine your own goals for understanding, and spend your time appropriately! i have a terrible visual imagination so to really fully "comprehend" any passage in any novel that describes the layout of a room, i would have to get a notebook out and draw it. i'm not gonna do that. (weirdly, though, i often love reading that shit anyway, haha.)

there is a lot of research out there emphasizing the importance of background knowledge to comprehension. (natalie wexler has written a book about this i haven't read, along with some articles i have read.) the scary way to look at this link is, "oh no, how can i learn all the things i need to know?" the awesome and exciting way to look at it is, every time you learn something, it widens the circle of things you can read, which means it widens the circle of things you can learn about, which means you can keep leaning.

you can also google stuff. one time i was confused by a book's explanation of a government policy so i googled and found some articles that covered it in more detail. (and also discovered that the specific example the book had used had been phased out of the law by the time it was published, lol.)

there are some strategies that have been found to increase reading performance, but the research around these is mostly around them as teaching strategies. my favorite reading guy timothy shanahan has speculated that the thing the strategies all have in common is they're ways of getting kids to actually pay attention when they read. the main strategy i think has value for people who want to get better at reading on their own is summarizing. every so often, take a moment to put into your own words what you've just read. how often will depend on what you are reading and how challenging it is. every paragraph is a often a good benchmark for something dense, especially as you are getting used to reading like this. every page or every chapter might be more appropriate for something like a novel. there have been times when i've done this sentence by sentence because something was really fucking dense! (a general note: this can also help people who feel their reading comprehension is mostly fine but have a lot of trouble remembering what they read. when i started doing this kind of thing consciously it improved my recall a lot, and i had a decent memory for textual information to begin with.) (if you REALLY want a power-up, taking notes is great, but most people understandably don't want to do this for their recreational reading.) over time there is also a good chance that you'll start doing this more fluidly and automatically as you read and not have to choose to do it consciously as much. but if not that's ok!

a strategy that is not always a natural fit for reading on your own but can be useful for certain kinds of reading is setting yourself questions to answer and then seeing if you can answer them. obviously, this typically makes more sense as a teaching strategy because how can you know what a text will contain until you read it? but there are times you can make a pretty educated guess, or stick to a really basic thing like "what is [thing this is promising to explain]?" i once picked up a particular NYC history book because it had been cited somewhere else as containing an account of the consolidation for the five boroughs. it was a really dense book and i decided that while i probably wouldn't retain many of the details its covered, i really wanted to learn from this book the author's answer to why the boroughs became one. four years later i still remember most of the reasons he gave! (harbor maintenance; economic competition with other large cities; a belief in some quarters that brooklyn would be a good influence on the manhattan political machine; i think there was one or two more but i'm 95% sure those were the ones cited as being most important.)

look up words! honestly tutoring has made ME realize how many words out there i "sort of" know but can't provide great definitions for, lol. a site i always recommend for my students doing vocab is learnersdictionary.com, which is by the encyclopedia britannica people and aimed for kids. it's a pretty full dictionary, but the definitions, while still accurate, are a lot more "user-friendly" than most dictionary definitions, which can be technical in a way that makes them less than illuminating.

for critical thinking:

honestly at LEAST half your battle is won. the main error i see people make in the realm of critical thinking is believing they are qualified to assess information they are not in fact qualified to do. the name of the game is humility.

i think my own critical thinking skills have really benefited from times when i've been able to read multiple perspectives on a fairly narrow topic. when i was in my NYC history era (i really gotta get back on that train), one thing i did was that every time i finished a book, i popped over to JSTOR to see if any scholars had reviewed it. i specifically wanted scholarly reviews because those are the people who can point out things i would NEVER have thought of because i did not have their years of expertise. for example, i read this one jill lepore book that was... fine... but there was a review of it that was like, "it's weird that based on her sources she didn't consult the largest and most important archive related to this place during this period, and as a result is mistaken about how common or uncommon certain things she describes are." i have never heard of that archive so i am glad someone pointed that out!

you can't always do that, obviously, and also sometimes you don't want to. but i think doing that regularly for a while helped me increase my intellectual humility and build the habit of filing things i read as "interesting if true" while leaving room for the fact that maybe they're not. (honestly the maintenance phase subreddit felt like a podcast version of this, lol, and i appreciated it a lot!)

idk. there is a fad these days for teaching "critical thinking skills"; as i mentioned in the post i assume prompted this, there is also debate about whether this is even a thing. in grad school, i felt like i saw a lot of people who had learned to mimic what they thought of as critical thinking by asking things like, "what about kids who belong to [a particular underrepresented group]?" or "how does the author have bias?" and those are good questions to ask, but knowing to ask those questions is not the same as thinking critically. if i were to try to give a shorthand question that guides my own attempts to think critically, it would be something like, "how does this person establish that what they claim to be true is actually true?" the sources they use are part of this, yes, but, again, asking "what about the sources???" is not, in and of itself, critical thinking. you also have to think about things like, "they go from this idea to that idea, but does idea 2 actually follow from idea 1?" and the number one bias you have to watch out for is your own.

i want to state again here that this is not a binary and the goal is not to be good at it, it's to keep getting better. years ago, i read an article in the atlantic by a professor of math education about the importance of counting on one's fingers in early math. i was like, wow, that's so cool and interesting. i had a first grader who was really struggling with some very basic stuff, and i did some exercises from the article with him because i thought they might help. maybe three years later, if that, i came across the article again, because i had just looked up something else by the author and been like, "wait, what? this seems blatantly not factual?" i remembered that i had liked this thing she had said about finger-counting, and i went back to try to figure out if that one had been better or if i had been mistaken, and i was, like, horrified that the atlantic had printed this and that i had once read it and nodded along like "so true bestie." the article was full of leaps in logic that sounded good but weren't actually supported at all. i'm sharing this story because if you feel like you are bad at critical thinking.... like, me too, sometimes!!!!! everyone is!!!!! if someone tells you they are super awesome at critical thinking all the time, that person is a fucking idiot and you shouldn't trust them for shit!!!!!

one other thing i can't not address: i once not too long ago made a post to the effect of "my life got a lot better when i accepted the possibility of being stupid," so i did not want to harp on this off the bat or too strongly for fear of being a hypocrite, lol, and i don't want to argue with you, a total stranger, about your perception of yourself, because i am allergic to people doing that to me. however, i would feel wrong not to mention that the specific phrasing and language you use in your ask suggests to me that when you think of yourself as "really fucking stupid," there is likely a significant emotional component in that belief and the emotions that it brings up in you, and i would be pretty surprised if it were not at least partly a reflection of your general relationship with yourself. i am telling you this because it reminds me of the way that i used to think about myself in my brain. i reliably performed well academically when i wasn't having a nervous breakdown, but i thought of myself as deeply stupid until mid twenties. there are a couple of factors i can point to regarding why i don't feel that way anymore, but by far the biggest, i think, is just that i don't hate myself the way i used to. thinking of myself as stupid in the particular vitriolic way your ask reminded me of was never actually about my smarts or lack thereof. it was just a manifestation of my deep and painful self-loathing. so i encourage you to cultivate a way of being kind to yourself, of forgiving yourself, of letting go of the shame you might be carrying about your skills or about other things that might seem unrelated. my final answer to your question is that there's hope for your capacity to grow, but it's also okay for you to be where you are. this is about reading, but it's also about everything else.

finally, if you are confused about anything i've written here, feel free to ask for clarification. i am good with words and i've tried to be clear, but one of the writing-related skills i suck MOST at is being able to gauge whether or not i have written something in a needlessly confusing way, lmao.

#askbox

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mrs-gauche · 7 months

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If the Spirit!Solas theory happens to be true—and I’m confident it is—then it really gives you a new level of respect for how much restraint this guy has.

I’m talking specifically about his interactions with Dorian. The part where Dorian is trying to convince Solas that enslaving spirits is cool and neat and not wrong because ‘spirits aren’t people.’

Imagine having the strength of character to listen to someone tell you to your face that you are not a person and therefore undeserving of the most basic civil rights without immediately decking them in the face.

Solas puts up with tool much, man.

Oh yeah, definitely! 😂 (As much as I feel for Dorian just trying to find some common ground...) I guess that one line in Tevinter Nights does a great job of putting Solas' attitude on this matter in a nutshell.

[…] roared not in anger, but with quiet contempt. "From this moment, should you ever bind a spirit, then your life is mine."

Keep in mind, Solas has witnessed spirits suffering from the consequences of creating the Veil for at least a thousand years at this point, if only from the Fade. When he's saying "It hurts. It always does." to the Inquisitor after returning to Skyhold and Wisdom's death, he's referring to the countless times he had to watch his friends being drawn to the waking world, either forced, or to see them “wish to join the living”, only to be twisted, bound, corrupted, killed, you name it.

"How small the pain of one man seems when weighed against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with their fewer ripples."

Much like a lot of his banter with Sera taunting him about his grief for the past, at this point, Solas is so old and has witnessed so much history, so much pain, that Dorian's remarks couldn't possibly evoke any real anger from him. It's so insignificant compared to what he has seen. There's a reason why Weekes keeps emphasizing how friggin tired Solas truly is. This is after all the general perception of spirits in present Thedas, aside from a few cultures like the Avvar. He can't blame Dorian for Tevinter raising him to think of spirits as nothing more than "amorphous constructs", just like he can't blame the Dalish for the knowledge lost to time. Similarly to any other argument he has with the other companions, Solas' frustration/resentment is almost never aimed at them personally, but rather at the current state of the world that shaped their perspective. (As is also evident in how his banter always ends up with them eventually coming to terms and grow a mutual/respectful relationship. The only exception being a low approval Inquisitor and Iron Bull if he chose the Qun over the Chargers… In that case, the hostility was definitely personal. 😂)

(That being said, I'm SO hoping for any kind of serious emotional outbreak from Solas in DA4, since there's still like a thousand year old trauma that needs to be addressed. lol)

But yeah, I think, going by his actions in Tevinter Nights, Tevinter is definitely not ready for what's probably coming for them in DA4, now that Solas is actually able to change things. 👀 And isn't it interesting how he will now be facing the Imperium, which was essentially built on the ruins of the empire he brought down/the same slavery based system he once rebelled against, so history kinda repeats itself? lol

I think it's also very telling how Solas will immediately counter Dorian's comments on the treatment of spirits in Tevinter by directly comparing it to slavery.

Dorian: "There's no harm putting them to constructive use, and most mages back home treat them well." Solas: "And any that show any magical talent are freed, are they not?" Dorian: "What? Spirits don't have magical talent." Solas: "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about your slaves."

But the beautiful irony in this, as I've talked about in this post, is how this draws a direct parallel to how Solas, in return, doesn't recognize the people of the waking world as real either, at least not until after the Inquisitor considers Wisdom a living being worth saving. This and his admission to the Inquisitor after he returns to Skyhold is imo the turning point in his character development. Imo, this is what leads him to say "Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong." in his high approval ending in Trespasser.

And this is also why I think that the theory of Solas intending to save the spirits first and foremost would make for such an interesting story actually.

The waking world doesn't view spirits as real people. Just like Solas can't accept the people of the waking world as real. So, what will happen if he tears down the Veil, and the Fade and the waking world become one again? The Inquisitor was potentially willing to save Wisdom despite it having already turned into a Pride demon. And in doing so, the Inquisitor unintentionally put up a mirror in front of Solas' face and basically went "If I can see them as real people worth saving, why can't you?".

And if the spirit origin theory is true, then it could make for a fascinating inner conflict. Solas, living in both the waking world and the Fade, having been a spirit and a corporeal person, is now facing the question of who "his people" actually are. Where does he belong? After all, his biggest fear remains to "die alone".

While this was said in more of a joking manner, Weekes' words from 2016 really put it into perspective here. Solas sees himself in that old fisherman he saw in the Fade. He is "the one who lived". So, I picture it like this… Solas is left alone in the Fade after the creation of the Veil. Spirits are now his only company for the next thousand years. Whether or not those spirits were the remaining souls of the elves he tried to save, we don't know, but regardless, I truly believe they are his people. But he is not a spirit. At least, not anymore.

Cole: "You don't need to envy me, Solas. You can find happiness in your own way." Solas: "I apologize for disturbing you, Cole. I am not a spirit and sometimes it hard to remember such simple truths." Cole: "They are not gone so long as you remember them." Solas: "I know." Cole: "But you could let them go." Solas: "I know that as well." Cole: "You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them." Inquisitor: "Solas, what is Cole talking about?" Solas: "A mistake. One of many by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."

In this banter, Cole reveals to us that Solas' mind immediately goes from "It's hard for me to accept I'm not a spirit" to "the people that were lost when Solas created the Veil". To me, this pretty much confirms that the people of Elvhenan and spirits are connected, if not one and the same. It's assumed that the Evanuris mined the Titans to somehow create bodies for spirits to inhabit, and that Mythal gave Solas a body against his will. There's also the theory about the creation of the Veil having caused the separation of body and spirit.

You know, I've written so much about this in previous posts and I don't want to sound like a broken record, but if we consider all those little clues and look at all of his dialogue in that context, it just makes so much sense to me, that what he wants to do is primarily to save the spirits/destroy the barrier for them to enter the waking world without their purpose getting corrupted. There's also still the matter of the Blights and red lyrium otherwise probably consuming the entire world. 😅 I think that's what he's referring to when saying "What I am doing will save this world" in Tevinter Nights.

And remember, "Dread Wolf" is still literally an anagram for "World" and "Fade". 😂 Both worlds colliding is quite literally in his title. lol Whatever the six eyed high dragon sized Dread Wolf actually is, as far as we know, he only seems to exist within the Fade, but how exactly is he connected to Solas and what will happen to him if he tears down the Veil (which btw is also definitely gonna happen… I mean, besides the fact that the Veil is getting weaker regardless of Solas' actions)? ANYWAY.

Sorry for rambling so much (and I feel like my English is a little rusty, too 😖), but I haven't talked about this stuff in a while and the lack of news is killing me. 😂 But your message gave me something to think about again, so thank you! :)

#oh no this got so long again 😖#solas #also again Bioware I beg you please give us that ''Solas calling his spirit army and charging into battle'' moment from TN 👀#tinfoil time #da4 #''Spirit self. Seeing the soul. Solas. But somehow sorrows.''#watch us play DA4 one day and none of this turn out to be true 😂#but I'm gonna die on that hill lol

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justmeinadaze · 6 months

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Secret Sinners: Part of the Head Filled With Demons AU (Steddie X You)

Continuation of this here

A/N: I bare you a gift :) I'm putting it in the Head Filled with Demon's Masterlist because I don't anticipate this being too long but definitely more to come!

Warnings: Demon Soft Dom Steddie and Sub Fem Human Reader, SMUT, light choking, dirty talk, threesome (of course), FLUFF, the love each other, an old friend comes to visit, ANGST, brief mentions of homophobic behavior within our realm and theirs, Stevie is insecure about his relationship with Eddie (mentions fears of losing him), brief talk about grief and deaths of the readers parents, these three get into a bit of a fight (more of a disagreement). I think that's all.

I would highly recommend reading the previous series before starting this one if you haven't already. It explains about the AU they are in and other things.

Word Count: 5871

"Just a couple secret sinners...Yeah, she's just what he eats for dinner."

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“No but I trust you two.”, you giggle.

Since being released from their eternity trapped in the stone, things between the three of you had been going exceptionally well. You had travelled a lot and shown them all the things they missed out on. So much had changed over the years so seeing the evolution of towns and cities they had been privy to during different time periods now had a new look.

There were a bunch of accommodations Eddie and Steve had to make now that they were free. The hardest one was finally being seen. When someone would address them, it would take them awhile to grasp that the person was speaking to them. Because they were still in your realm, they had to wear their masks almost 24/7 and you knew it killed them to not be themselves. This is why you suggested little things like tonight.

While camping in a remote countryside for the night, you recommended that they spread their wings and fly. Eddie thought it would be fun to show you what it was like so you agreed.

“Ok, you have to hold on to me tightly, honey.”

Wrapping your arms around Steve’s neck, you jump into his own and smile as his wings break free. Shifting your gaze towards the long-haired demon, your grin grew when you saw he had fully converted back to his demon form. Steve had done the same to a point so his skin wouldn’t hurt yours as you clung to him.

“Here we go.”

You squealed as you keened into his neck and wind abruptly rushed around you.

“You’re not going to see anything if you keep your eyes closed, sweetheart!”

Daring a peak, your heart skipped a beat when you saw how high you three were but became distracted when you noticed the smiles on both their faces. Just to be able to roam free was exciting in itself but to be themselves again with you was a new kind of euphoria that they would never take for granted.

Landing on a water tower, Steve placed you carefully on your feet before hovering in front of you.

“You should fully change like he did.”

Nodding, he takes your suggestion and you beam up at him as Eddie slowly descends beside his side.

“It’s still amazes me you aren’t afraid of us like this.”

“I mean, you still look like you just with rougher, dark skin, red eyes, wings, and horns.”

“Oh yeah, totally. Just those little differences.”, the long-haired demon teases.

“I’m sorry you guys can’t be yourselves all the time. I wish you could go home.”

Steve flies closer and caresses your cheek with his thumb.

“But then we wouldn’t be able to be with you.”

“Come on, pretty girl. Let’s head back so you can eat something.” Eddie changed a bit so he could take you in his arms. “Do you trust me?”

“No.”, you laugh as he smiles.

“That’s fair.” His grip on you tightens as he flies off, spinning in the air as he jets forward.

“Eddie, don’t scare her!”

“She’s fine! As long as she doesn’t throw up on me!”

***

You will never get used to the euphoria they make you feel when they make love to you and you’re completely ok with that. With every kiss, touch, and thrust of them inside you, your body comes to life and you feel like you would do anything for them. With your ex you thought you were in love, but these demons (your demons) showed you what being loved and being in love was really like. You couldn’t get enough.

Clinging to Eddie’s shoulders, you mewled as his breath warmed the shell of your ear and he pumped his hips harder, hitting your g-spot roughly.

“Yes, Edward. Just like that, baby.”

“Like that, princess? Fuck you feel so good.”

Steve, having had his release long ago, kissed along both your bodies from beside you, his hands finding purchase anywhere they could land.

Every time they were able to be themselves, the demon libido took over and you loved when it did. They could go for hours and at times when you were too worn out to continue they would play with each other.

Those first few months, you noticed Steve was still slightly afraid that Eddie would no longer need him intimately anymore but the long-haired demon squashed that notion any chance he could reminding his friend that they were now more than. Sometimes it would be something small like Eddie holding his hand or running his palm along the demon’s back as they sat there and watched you eat a meal. Other times it was a grand gesture like randomly cupping his cheeks and bringing his lips to his own or smacking his ass in front of room full of people making Steve blush while you two giggled.

Your fingers tangled in Eddie’s long wavy mane as you trembled beneath him, moaning his name as you came. His lips danced with your own while he fucked you through it and chased his own high. Growling and grunting, he soon followed, releasing his spend deep inside of you.

The cool night air hit your sweaty skin as he rolled to your side and adjusted the blanket to cover you up a bit more.

“Next place we stop at should be a hotel so you can shower and all that.”

“So I can shower?”, you laugh as you smile up at him. “Steve, now that you’re out in the world again, you get dirty to and can smell!”

Eddie quietly chuckles beside you as his fingers absently roamed along your body.

“Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean.”, he sasses as he turns onto his back and gazes up at the sky.

“During your war, did you guys sleep outside like this?”

“Yeah but our sky isn’t as pretty as yours.”, Eddie replies as he rolls onto his back as well. “We don’t have stars. Also, because of the battles and everything usually there was smoke in the air.”

“What was it like before cities and skyscrapers in my realm?”

“The first time we were summoned was around the late 1600s. At night while he slept, we looked out into the countryside and the grass was bright green, illuminating even in the dark. The way the trees moved when the wind blew was just gorgeous.”

“Sometime in the 1700s, we were near the water. I always thought the boats were fascinating. They reminded of stories my uncle would read to me when I was a kid. The sound of the waves crashing and smelling the salt of the ocean at night was amazing.”

“That sounds beautiful. I wish…I wish I could have…seen it all with…you.”, you mumble as your eyes start to get heavy with sleep.

They both smile as they watch you drift off. Now that they were no longer in the stone, they were able to sleep but it took some getting used to like everything else. They had always assumed it was part of their curse that they never got tired or slept while in stone. Those first few nights of freedom they tried to keep their eyes open and on you, fearing something may happen if they weren’t alert.

You assured them you were safe but always allowed them to do what they needed to feel comfortable. Normally they would just pull you close like a teddy bear which you definitely didn’t mind but more and more frequently they seemed content with just having any body part on you as they slept. Tonight, Eddie rolled on to his side and threw his arm over your stomach while Steve nuzzled into your side, pressing his nose to your cheek as he placed his own arm over the other demon’s.

##############

“Oh, wow. Steven, look at this.”, Eddie beckoned at the other demon as his eyes widened in amusement. “These guitars are exceptional.”

You grin as he took in all the instruments in front of him at the museum you were visiting. This had been your favorite part of traveling with them; seeing them take in and learn all the new things around them. Steve so far was completely flabbergasted with technology. Of course, they saw summoners use or utilize any device that was available at the time but for them it had been confined to the knowledge within the area they happened to be in. Add in the fact that they would go decades without being called, sometimes they missed evolutions entirely.

Eddie loved looking at and listening to music from any time. On your adventure, you three had stopped at a few bars where different types of bands would play and his eyes would light up like a kid listening to a story being read to them.

“That thing you do when you play, can you do it with any instrument or is it a specific guitar?”, you ask.

“Um, so far it’s any guitar. I’ve honestly never tried other stuff.”

Steve abruptly straightens up as his head swivels to look around him.

“What?”, the other demon inquires becoming more alert as well.

“Someone’s here who doesn’t belong.” He grabs your hand and the three of you run out into the parking lot as you fumble for your keys.

Abruptly, you feel arms wrap around your waist and you gasp as your hoisted into the air. You can’t see who or what is holding you but you know you’re flying as the wind slaps you face.

You scream as you’re let go of but are immediately caught by a winged Eddie as you both tumble to the ground.

“Sweetheart, fuck that hurt. Are you okay?!”

“Yeah…I…who…what happened?”

Hearing the growls, you both turn just as Steve rises to his feet after having tackled the creature that grabbed you to ground and pins it to the grassy earth below him.

“Jesus. Took you long enough!” The demon’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he lifted off the helmet blocking the person’s face and was met with a big grin. “You’ve gotten slower, old man.”

“Dustin? Holy shit.”

The boy laughed as he fell forward to hug him before helping him to his feet.

“Dustin?”

“Hey, Edward.” Their friend wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug before turning to you. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I had a good grip on you but I wasn’t prepared for the tackle landing. I’m Dustin.”

“Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you.”, you smile but hesitate to shake his hand when you notice the demon skin.

“Oh, shit. Different world. Um, hang on.” Red light flashes as the young boy transforms in front of you to look more like the men beside him. “There we go.”

He beams proudly when you’re able to greet him and goes the extra mile of kissing the back of your hand.

“Alright, kid.”, Steve chastises as he pulls on the demon’s collar. “Last I checked you have a wife. This one is ours and speaking of…” Dustin flinches when his huge palm hits the back of his head. “You could have hurt her. You have to be more careful.”

“Hell, you’re lucky we didn’t kill you.”, Eddie scolded. “What are you doing here?”

“Does this realm have a bar. I have some news for you.”

#############

“God this is fucking delicious. What is it called?”, Dustin asks as he slams down his third empty glass. You learned from the boys that demons like them have a pretty high tolerance since the alcohol from their realm was a lot stronger than what you had here.

“Beer. Now, for the fourth time, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”, Steve asks sternly making the young demon smile at you.

“They haven’t changed.”, he chuckles. “I’ve been looking for you two for a while now. Things have shifted back home. The king passed away.”

“Chrissy’s dad died?”, Eddie inquired as he leaned forward while you reached for his hand under the table.

“Yeah about 100 some odd years ago. Things got bad after you two disappeared.”, Dustin sighed. “Actually, it was after pretty boy prince vanished—”

“Henry?”

The boy’s eyes widen in amusement, seemingly impressed by your question.

“Yes, wow. Um, so Henry went missing a few years after you both and while they were hunting for you, people were hunting for him. During that time another war broke out as the two kings fought for power and dominion.”

“Who won?”

“Essentially, no one. Both sides lost so many people…including your father, Steven.”

Your worried eyes scanned him over as his gaze shifted to the void in front of him.

“What about Robin?”

“She’s safe; kicked a bunch of asses of course. Your uncle to, Ed. He helped watch out for the younger ones and trained them, kind of becoming like a surrogate dad.”

“Sounds about right.”, he grins.

“Our people came out on top and have actually been in relative peace for the last 200 years. Robin and I still manage the militia but we haven’t needed them. Henry’s dad gave up looking for him—”

“And they won’t find him anytime soon.”, Eddie adds; his fingers squeezing yours.

“BUT the boys and I did some research and found out what happened to you two…how you were trapped in that stone… when our soldiers came back empty handed it gave some truth to the narrative which also helped us to prove your innocence, Edward.”

Both Steve and Eddie’s eyes shot up towards the young demon as he smiled.

“Yeah, we were able to prove that you didn’t kill Chrissy and it was most likely Henry.”

“It was. He showed us how he did it to.”, you added.

“Before he died, the king pardoned you both and said that you could come home.”

Both their mouths dropped before the turned to you and noticed you were smiling.

“Wow…that’s amazing. You two really are free now.”, you murmured as you tried to keep your demeanor in check. “This is fantastic.”

“Hey, um, kid can you give us a moment.”

Nonchalantly, the boy shrugged as he got up to get a refill, completely unaware of the bomb he had just dropped amongst you three.

“You have to go back.”, you whispered.

“We…we can’t take you with us, Y/N. You would die as soon as you entered our realm.”

“Then you have to leave me—”

“No.”, Eddie growled. “No. I’ve had this situation come up enough when it comes to losing you except this time I actually have a fucking choice. My answer is no.”

“Ma-Maybe…this was inevitable. I mean… how long do your people live? I would grow old and die while you guys lived another few thousand years…”

As you glanced between them, you noticed their eyes were closed as they tried to keep their masks in control.

“We can find a way, Y/N.”, Steve seethed through gritted teeth.

“How? How, baby?”

“I don’t know!”, he bellowed in his deep demon voice that caused some patrons to turn.

“See? At least back home, you can be yourselves again. You won’t have to hide. You both have spent so many years running and hiding. Then you were imprisoned… you deserve to go home.”

“No. We deserve you, the woman that saved us.”, Eddie replied trying to keep his own voice in line. “And believe it or not, sweetheart, but there are other factors to consider besides us leaving you behind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Demons in our realm…wouldn’t exactly…understand us.” He gestured between himself and Steve as the other demon snapped his head towards the window doing everything he could not open his eyes to reveal the red beneath them.

“What? Why?”

“Pfft, does your kind?”, Eddie scoffed. “We’ve spent years hearing the hateful rhetoric in your world. Remember, we had a summoner kill his boyfriend’s father so they could be together. Add in the fact that, once again, I’m the fucking commoner fucking royalty.”

The growl that comes from Steve’s chest is almost too loud to ignore as red quickly flashes through the bar and he runs towards the door before flying into the sky not caring if anyone saw him. Eddie chuckled as he rose to his feet and tugged at your hand.

“Princess, can you lead me outside so we can follow him? I have a feeling this is going to be one of those fights and I wouldn’t want to draw any more attention.”

***

You two found Steve back near where you had camped the previous evening, completely transformed into his demon appearance as he paced and fumed.

“Fuck you!”, he screamed as soon Eddie’s feet touched the ground. “Is that how it would be when we got back?! Is that how you would see me?! As someone who’s above you?!”

“Excuse the fuck out of me for speaking the truth. You WERE above me, Steven. We may have been best friends but your rank and father’s position had you at a higher status.”

“So if we went home, things would go back to how they were?! We would just pretend then?!”

Dustin landed beside you with a beer in his hand, offering you some that you decline.

“Am I missing something?”, he whispers.

“Yes, Dustin! You missed many things over the eons we were locked up in isolation.”, Steve sassed. “Fun fact, Edward and I aren’t just friends anymore. Yup. We fuck each other and fell in love.”

“Huh.”, the boy muses as a takes a sip of his drink. “Well, shit.”

“But that doesn’t matter I guess because Edward is a fucking peasant and sooooo beneath me.”, he mocks causing Eddie to roll his eyes. “Cool. Well now I’m more excited than ever to go back. I have no family, no you, and no Y/N but I’ll be home!”

“You’re all in a…”, Dustin asks gesturing between the three of you and again he makes a tiny huh sound when you nod.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t be with you, you asshole. I was explaining to Y/N why us being together would be fucking difficult. Do you think Chrissy and I just snuck around for fun?! I understand what it’s like in our realm to be in love with someone in a higher status and YOU know what it’s like with the other concern because of Robin. You know the hell she goes through! Went through…I don’t fucking know! To be honest, this fight seems pointless because even if we did go home we’d still have a mask on AND we wouldn’t have Y/N.”

“You wouldn’t fight for me, Edward?”

Steve’s tone pierced Eddie’s heart causing the demon to stomp forward and grab his cheeks.

“I fought with you and beside you for most of my life, Steven. Not only would I fight for you but I’d die for you to, you idiot.” His lips connect to his own before hugging him tightly to his chest. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You guys don’t have to come home. I’ve just been looking for you to tell you that you could. Of course, we miss you guys but your friends and family love you. We want you to be happy.”

Steve reaches out and ruffles the boy’s hair as the young man giggles.

“Now is there a place we can rest because I am exhausted!”

***

As you pretended to sleep in your comfy hotel room bed, you listened to the three of them talk on the mattress next to yours.

“I can’t believe you’re a dad now, man.”, Eddie chuckles as he looks over the pictures Dustin gave him.

“Yeah, four of them, and Suzie wants another one. She had a big family, you know.”, he grins as he points to one of the boys in the photo. “My oldest son, his full name is Steven Edward Henderson.”

“Aw, dude.”, Steve coos as he reaches out to hug him.

“Your uncle babysits them for me and he says they are just as wild as you were, Ed. He takes them outside to the forest sometimes to let them run and play. They love it. Since we found peace, everything has gotten so much clearer and cleaner. Less smoke and an angry red background to illuminate your evenings.”

“What about Robin? IS she happy.”

“Yeah. She misses you a lot and tells the kids stories of your adventures together.”

“Who took over after the king passed?”

“He passed the reigns to a cousin within the family. Someone he said Chrissy trusted.” Both demons nodded as a heavy sigh escaped their lips. “So, you love this girl, huh? She seems really sweet.”

“And strong. She’s been through a lot in her short human life but yeah…we love her.”

“She saved our lives.”, Steve added as they all looked over at you. “Got us out of that stone. She’s always been so selfless even now…willing to break her own heart by telling us to go home. I can’t do it, dude. I can’t abandon her here by herself after everything she’s done. I feel like…she’s apart of us.”

“Like if we lost her, we’d lose a piece of ourselves.”, Eddie explained making Dustin smile.

“That’s how I feel about Suzie.”

################

You lean against a tree as you gaze out at their realm. It really was gorgeous compared to the visions they had provided you with their memories of their time there. The sky still had a twinge of red but a dark blue hue was beginning to take over. The town below you seemed more put together and modern without the need to modify it so no one could storm in.

Even the castle to your right had been updated and had less damage than previously seen. The door opened for you and without prompting, you wondered in, marveling at the décor. Entering a bedroom, you knew whose it was immediately as you had seen it many times before. This time, however, there was no body or blood on the floor. The room was neat and tidy with pictures everywhere.

On the vanity mirror were photos of Chrissy, Steve, Eddie, and Robin making funny faces with a lake behind them. Another was her and her father dancing in formal dress at what you assumed was a ball. On her bed was a box you slowly moved toward, opening the lid to find pictures of her and Eddie kept hidden for the royal’s eyes.

There were many photos of kisses exchanged, dates that were had, and hope for a future that never came.

“I wish I had put those up.” You quickly turned at the sound of Chrissy’s voice as she softly smiled at you. “He deserved to be seen.”

“I’m…I’m sorry for what happened to you…to both of you.”

“Honey, you cleared his name and captured Henry. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I’d actually like to help if I can.” She takes your hand and guides you towards the bed to sit beside you. “I’ve seen you with Eddie and Steve. I’ve never seen them as happy as they are now. It broke my heart watching them suffer for so long.”

Her beautiful, big eyes met yours.

“You’ve suffered to, haven’t you?”

“It’s alright—”

“No, it’s not. You three deserve to stay happy for as long as possible. Let me ask you something, Y/N. What do you know about demon slayers?”

Your eyes shot open as you gasped loudly, startling both demons from their sleep.

“What?! What’s happening?!”

“Ed…Eddie…Chrissy…”

“Hey, hey, whoa, pretty girl. Breathe. Talk when you’re ready.”

As you calmed down, you told them about your dream and what Chrissy had told you.

“I don’t get it. Do we need to die?”

“Steven, how did you get that out of what she just said?”, Eddie scolded.

“What else do demon slayers do, Edward?”

“Didn’t your ex leave you for one?”, Dustin grumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “Maybe they would know.”

“What are you talking about? Demon slayers are human. He would have died long ago.”

“Yeah but he didn’t. Michael just visited them to celebrate their anniversary.”

Eddie fully sat up as he turned to face the young demon across from him.

“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS ODD??”

“Geez, no, I didn’t. I have my own family to worry about on top of finding you two dickheads.”

Your demon’s exchanged a glance as the long-haired one rose to his feet and grabbed the boy’s arm.

“You lost bed privileges. Go sleep… anywhere else.”

“Hey! Wha—”

He cut the boy off as he slammed the hotel door shut.

“Eddie, you didn’t have to—”

“Punishments are worse where we come from. He can sleep in the car.”, he growls as he runs his palms over his eyes. “What are you thinking, Steve?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look.” His current honey brown eyes flick towards you as he takes note of your facial expression. “Goddamn it. Are we still having this discussion, Y/N. We are NOT going home.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Yeah but I can see it on your face. You think it would be easier for us to just let you go and go home.”

“I heard Dustin talk about what your home is like now. Maybe you two could be happy there.”

His large hand suddenly reached out to grab your throat as he pushed you back down flat against the mattress.

“Listen up, little girl, because we are only going to say this one more time. Edward was right. The first time we thought we would lose you because Maeve was going to suck us back into that stone. The second time was because YOU made us believe that you would be taken in instead of us. This time WE get to make the choice and we are choosing to stay here with you. We are happier with you. We love you. We belong to you.”

Your breathing stuttered at his last sentence as his hand released its grip, gliding up to hold and caress your cheek with his thumb.

“And you belong to us, honey.”

Tilting your head slightly, your lips crash up to meet his. The bed jostled as Eddie climbed in beside you, his hand softly running up your thigh before lifting your leg over his hip. A shiver ran up your spine as the demon’s fingers trailed back down along your flesh and rested on the cotton that was blocking your core.

Steve’s lips detach from your own as he leans over, snaking his hand behind the other man’s head, and tugs him into a rough kiss that had your pussy clenching at the sight.

“I never saw you like that.”, he exhaled heavily. “I never thought of you as beneath me. Not as a commoner or peasant or whatever…even before… you’ve always just been Edward.”

Eddie rushed forward, bringing Steve’s mouth back to his as they passionately mingled together. Your own lips found its way down the metalhead’s neck making him groan while his fingers moved your panties to the side and began massaging circles against your clit.

They panted as they moved away from each other, Eddie sucking on your own neck as Steve lifted up your nightshirt enough for your breasts to come into view and his mouth to wrap around your nipple.

“Edward…please…”

Before he could acknowledge your pleas, Steve pushed him onto his back and hastily lifted off your shirt the rest of the way before doing the same with the other demon’s boxers.

Eddie moaned as a glob of spit landed on the tip of his cock as Steve stroked and smeared it along his shaft. You both watched him with lust fueled eyes as he took him into his awaiting mouth while his free hand reach over to play with your bundle of nerves.

“Fuck me.”

“H-His mouth always feels so fucking good, doesn’t it?”

“Fuck, yeah, it does. Wh-When we—mmm—when we were alone sometimes he would suck me off for what—shit—felt like hours.”

Continuing to pump him with his hand, Steve gives you his attention, shoving his face into your cunt. Your fingers intertwined with the demon next to you as the others long paranormal tongue lapped at your insides.

“Yes, Steven! Please.”

Eddie’s free palm reached across his bare chest, landing on your tit as his fingers pinched and played with the erect bud.

“I-I would cum so many times but I never wanted…never wanted him to stop. His mouth felt so good.”

Steve switched again driving you both wild as he built you two up. Eddie quickly sat up and brought the other demon’s lips to his, both whimpering as their tongues glided effortless against the other.

“I want to feel you, pretty boy. Come on. Make our beautiful girl cum hard, ok? She deserves it.”

Steve nodded, kissing along your skin as he climbed up the length of your body. Opening your legs wide, he lifts one of them over his shoulder, and his forehead falls on yours as he guides his cock into your entrance.

“Fuuuuck, baby girl. Still so fucking tight.”, he moans, smirking when your breathy laugh hits his face.

“I’m-I’m a little sore from last night.”

“Yeah? But you can take still take it, can’t you, honey? Mmm—you can still take all of me.”

“Yes.”, you pant as he begins slowly thrusting into you.

When you feel him pause, you shift your gaze to Eddie as he grabs the demon’s shoulder for leverage and gradually pushes into his ass. Biting your bottom lip, you watch as Steve struggles to control his appearance as he whimpers and groans at the feeling of you both.

“Does that feel good, Steven?”

“S-So good. Fuck.”, he purrs as his hips start to thrust again.

The demon behind him guides his motions, placing his palms on his waist as his moves him forward into you and back onto him.

“You can—mmm—you can change if you want to.”

Steve adamantly shakes his head.

“Too close. Hurt you.”, he manages to grunt out.

“You can hurt me a little.”, you tease making Eddie chuckle behind him as his face scrunches in pleasure. “I always want you guys to be yourselves as much as you can.”

A low growl rumbles from his chest as his pace quickens.

“It always fucking turns me on when you say stuff like that. That you aren’t afraid us.”

“I’m not, Steven.”

His jaw goes slack in a silent moan as he fully takes over pleasing you both. Tears fall from your eyes as he roughly but pleasantly hits that spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling closed while he pushes back hard against Eddie taking him deeper into his body.

“Shit…that’s it, Steven, baby.”, the metalhead grumbles through his teeth.

“You’d fuck us fully in our demon form?”

“Yes, of course. I love you both—mmm—for you. I don’t care what you look like. Fuck, M’gonna…”

Dropping your leg, his body fell flat on yours, rolling his hips as Eddie thrust to meet his movements. The sound of skin hitting skin echoed obscenely loud in the small room while all three of your moans mixed in. Your nails dug into his back as you held him tightly to you, shuddering as you came hard.

“Fuck! G-Good girl. Soaking my cock like that.”

The demon behind him grabbed his throat as he pressed his chest into his back, pounding into him till Steve trembled against you and painted your walls with his release. Eddie grunted, yanking them both upright on their knees, and as he fell out of you, the long-haired boy reached around to continue stroking his length, milking him till his own orgasm followed.

Falling to your side, they panted as Steve’s fingers lazily turned your cheek to face him.

“Are you…okay? I didn’t…cut you or hurt you…right?”

“I’m ok. You didn’t shift too much this time.”, you grin over at him as he smiles in return.

“Come on, princess.”, Eddie coos as he crawls over to you and lifts you in his arms. “Before you start to smell.”

He chuckles when you lightly smack his chest while he carries you to the tiny hotel bathroom.

“Oh, this will be fun. Just like our showers in the dorms, huh, Stevie?”

It was a tight fit but you didn’t mind. Any chance you got at being close to them made you content. You kept your arms snuggled around either one of them, tenderly kissing their lips occasionally before pressing your face into their chest.

“What would it be like? Sex with you fully in your demon form? The first night we were together, Steve said his dick was still him…”

After turning off the shower, Eddie guided you out of the shower and made you giggle as he shook a towel over your head.

“He wasn’t wrong. Um, you know how human’s use condoms? Think of it like that.”

“Also, believe it or not, we’ve been holding back somewhat with you.” Your eyes widen playfully at Steve’s comment. “Oh yeah. You’ve seen Edward and I together. I mean, you saw our house in the stone. It wasn’t solely destroyed all the time because of me if you know what I’m saying.”

Your laugh gradually fades as they watch you slide your sleep shirt back over your head and climb under the covers.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”

“So…we’re really doing this? We’re going to look for a way for me to be with you two forever?”

They both crawl in beside you like they did every single night before.

“If that’s what you want, Y/N.”, Eddie answers as his fingers move some loose hair away from your cheek. “If you want to stay as you are, we’ll still be here, babe. Even when you’re old and gray, sitting on a rocker on your front porch.”

They smile when you laugh.

“Did you see that in my future when you first met me?”

“We can’t see the futures for summoners, just the past.”, Steve explains. “But we don’t need to have powers or anything to see that if that’s a future you want then we’ll make it happen. As long as you’re happy, honey.”

“My mom died my freshman year of high school. I spent so many years watching my father miss her. Before he died, in my dream, I saw him reconnect with her and that comforts me, you know?” You place your palm on Eddie’s heart as Steve wraps his arm around your waist and rests his chin on your bicep just below your shoulder. “I’ve seen what it did to you. I don’t want either of you to experience that pain. I want us…to have as much time…as we can get.”

Softly smiling, he leans down and tenderly kisses your lips, letting you go long enough for Steve to do the same.

“Then, yes, princess. We’re doing this.”

############### Song Inspiration:

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld

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kaylinelizabeth4004 · 8 months

Text

Between Two Lungs/Heaven is Here Pt 2

SYNOPSIS: Y/N tries to process the idea of eternity and reincarnation. Aziraphale begins to identify his feelings for both Crowley and Y/N. Crowley is pining and moody

WORD COUNT: 7k

TAGS: Aziraphale x Reader x Crowley, Aziraphale x Reader, Aziraphale x Crowley, fluff, soulmates, pining, kind of confession, so much fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, pov third person, fluff and angst

A/N: i didn’t mean for this to be as long as it is, and I mean the story itself. But there will be a part 3. This focuses more on Aziraphale, next more on Crowley. Sorry this isn’t as long as the last but felt like it was wrapped up

She felt like she was vibrating as a human, small little shakes destroying her entire sense of balance. Nina had made her take her break, though it was far too early in her shift, and she sat in the back with her legs shaking so violently the table rattled. She'd broken her mug that was sitting on top of it. Y/N was absentminded the entire shift, messing up orders and stuttering with each customer she talked to. Eventually Nina pulled her aside during a lull.

"What is going on?"

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked, eyes wide as she seemed to realize that this wasn't a 'here's the sugar, don't forget the napkins' spiel - the kind of spiel every new person got during the first month of their job, that was both helpful and insulting - but a 'you're fucking up spiel' - which was significantly less enjoyable and filled the receiver with such shame and embarrassment they considered the different cliffs nearby. During a particularly intense thought she considered the cliffs of Broadchurch, before remembering that was from a television show.

"Don't be daft. You've been a good barista these past few weeks, then that couple comes in and you're dancing like a bee."

"A bee?"

"They dance to communicate," Nina said plainly, as though it was an obvious comparison. Nina was sometimes so in her own head, tracking her own thought process, that she couldn't comprehend why it wasn't someone else's immediate thought as well. It was something her shrink told her to work on.

"Oh, sorry. I, they just rattled me." Y/N tried to ignore the image in her head of Nina moonwalking while firing her or someone salsaing on their way to tell someone their son has tried tragically. It was terribly funny and she was not in a terribly funny sort of mood. Demons and angels did that to a person.

Nina stared at her for a moment, "you a homophobe?"

"Oh! Oh my god, no. Never, that's not what I mean. No, no, no," she was rambling, not knowing what to say and now terrified her boss thought she was a homophone. She tried to consider how to explain to Nina that she wasn't homophobic, she'd just been pulled aside by a literal angel and demon who told her that her soul has been trapped on earth for more than 2,000 years eternally connected to them with their miscommunication and angst, which means that when the world does indeed end in fire she will definitely be there and might not have a place to go after the fact aside from miserable eternity. So she settled on saying something close enough to the truth that Nina wouldn't think she's a piece of shit that should be fired. "They, they made these comments about fate. Eternity and whatever. It wasn't bad, they weren't bad, I just got spooked. Not really religious, didn't know what to think of it."

Nina blinked rapidly and paused, letting Y/N's words sink in. "You're like this cause you're having a crisis of fate?"

"I- I, well yeah. It sounds silly. Just got to me."

"We get missionaries in here all the time, the Mormons won't leave me alone. You gonna be like this every time someone mentions God?"

"No! This is a one time thing, I promise. I'm not usually like this. I think it was the de - redhead, he drank like a lot of espresso and he was talking very intense-like." Whenever she got anxious her language devolved into likes and ums, stutters and little comments that only made sense to herself. She sometimes wished she could press an off button to stop the random shit that just decided to spew from her.

Nina looked at her with a sort of blanket skepticism she carried into each conversation. One of the things Maggie both loved and struggled with. Eventually she nodded, "right, okay. Life gets tough, people throw us off. I get it. I'm gonna send you home today, you're a mess even if it is a one time thing. Next time this happens, you tell me so we can fix it." Y/N's shoulders slumped at being sent home, feeling like she failed Nina. Nina, being surprisingly observant, went to reassure her, "shop closes in an hour anyways. Only one person comes in regularly and it's my partner, I'll be fine."

Y/N nodded, untying her apron and hanging it up. Nina gave her a smile as she left, trying awkwardly to comfort her. She really did appreciate the attempts, even if Nina's somewhat harsh demeanor failed to always communicate that.

Y/N loitered outside the shop for a minute, staring at the antique shop of 'Mr. Fell' who she'd come to realize just a few short hours ago belonged to the actual angel Aziraphale. She should go talk to them. They'd told her to. Aziraphale had insisted that she come over after her shift to discuss this situation more, maybe she could start to recover some of her past memories. She'd gotten a few initially, remembering the ring and Crowley's eyes. Crowley had suggested he just make Nina forget she was working and to let her go freely. While tempted by the demon's offer, she'd only had this job for two weeks and wasn't about to risk it all. Though it clearly wasn't the worst of her problems.

She began to cross the street to the building. It was tall and cute, tucked on a street corner and just old enough to be charming. Windows with drawn blinds teased at stacks and stacks of books, but even without approaching the door she knew it'd have a closed sign. Nina had told her when she first started at the coffee shop that the bookshop was never open, the owner liked having space for his personal library rather than actually selling any of his precious books.

Parked in front of the shop was a black Bentley. It was a vintage style though Y/N knew nothing about the year aside from it was older than 1980, and even then it was a hazarded guess. It was sleek, kept in prime condition. Inside one of the windows there was a film with two bullet holes printed on it, something that made Y/N smile. Her grandfather had one of them as well, said he'd bought it because of James Bond. In the back seat she spotted a cardboard box labeled 'troublemaker' with a plant sticking out of it. It's leaves were wilting. Somehow, without even being told, Y/N knew the Bentley was Crowley's.

She lingered in front of the doors. She wanted to knock, she had to knock, but it was bloody scary to face your entire past, present, and future in one go. But, with bravery unmatched since the laudanum accident in the '30s - the 1830s, that is - she knocked.

Behind the door she heard two voices talking, the deeper grumbling and getting closer as he walked to the door. Then it swung open with a gusto, revealing the shape of Crowley.

She swallowed. He was imposing, tall and thin as he peered down a just slightly crooked nose. His hair was beautifully curled back on his head, though the slightest hairs fell onto his forehead. Though his spectacles covered his eyes, she let out a breath knowing those eyes were still there. His eyes had been a constant in her life.

"We're closed- oh. It's you." He said, his voice getting hoarse as he stared at her.

"Who is it - oh! Dear, you're here. Come, come in." Aziraphale said from further in the shop, standing with a book in his hands and spectacles on his nose. He looked kind and sweet, back straight and plush, pink lips curved into a smile. Crowley moved aside for her, letting her cross the threshold with anxious steps. He slammed the door shut.

The bookshop was exactly as she expected. Stacks and stacks of slightly dusty book shelves, covered with as many books as possible. There were horrors, romances, histories, science fictions, fantasies and Bibles. A remarkable number of bibles actually. They had a whole row shoved full of copies of the Bible. Y/N didn't feel like analyzing why an Angel would want well over 20 copies of his group's history but who was she to judge? She owned 5 copies of her favorite book, the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Perhaps a little boring as it was a classic, but the story had hooked her since she saw the enamoring - although a slightly questionable choice to be a children's movie - Disney adaptation. One look into the music and she was glued to the story. The shop smelled of vanilla and old books, a combination that helped calm her racing heart.

"Hi," she said softly once she realized the unearthly beings were staring at her expectantly.

"Hi," Crowley said back. He hadn't taken his spectacles off, and she didn't like that.

"I, um, I love the shop. It's so warm."

"I can, err, lower the temperature if you require, dearest," Aziraphale said, wanting to help calm her but not knowing how.

"No, I meant the atmosphere is warm. Like a hug. But t-thank you," she said. Then after a pause she added, "Aziraphale."

"Would you like a cup of tea, dear?" Aziraphale said finally after a long moment where the three exchanged glances at one another, unaware of what to do next. The tension was so thick she briefly wondered if she jumped from a ledge if she’d be caught in it’s stupid bloody web. A weird and kind of stupid analogy but it seemed to bring her back to reality. Silly things always did.

She let out a breath, "fuck yeah."

Crowley chuckled at this, sauntering back to where he'd been sitting by Aziraphale's desk. Aziraphale gave a curt nod and went into some back room. She lingered by the door.

"C'mon over here, I don't bite," he said, taking a sip of wine from a glass she hadn't seen sit on the end table. His posture was sprawled on a comfy chair, one leg hanging over the arm of it.

"I'm beginning to doubt that," she said with a little laugh, grateful for his relaxed energy to bring down some of the tension. She walked over and sat on a sofa that was surprisingly comfortable, letting herself sink into the cushions.

"Only if you ask, darling," Crowley said with a wink. He immediately regretted the wink but tried not to let it show. He was never an intentionally flirty individual so when he did say flirty things, often by accident, he cringed at himself.

But she just flushed at his words and got comfortable on the sofa. She wasn't upset, in fact she shot back with a, "only in your wildest dreams, love." The term love sent his human heart racing and he quickly looked away. Only Aziraphale had made him feel this way and he hadn't even begun to process those emotions, let alone do it a second time for her.

Aziraphale returned with two steaming mugs of tea and a bottle of wine which he promptly handed over to Crowley. She thanked him and sipped the drink, letting out a happy sigh at the cinnamon thrown in. She loved cinnamon.

"How are you feeling, my dear?" Aziraphale asked, his eyes wide and full of concern. "It can be a lot to take in."

"I'll admit I've kind of been in a state of shock. It doesn't feel real. Not that I don't believe you, I mean you did stop time and I remember your ring. It's, it's kind of frightening, actually? If that doesn't sound childish."

"Earth's full of s'frightening things," Crowley said in a strange sort of reassurance.

"Right, well while I appreciate that sentiment, you two aren't from Earth. So it's another layer of frightening."

"Perhaps we could help ease your worry by answering some questions?"

"Oh, I don't know. I have so many, I don't want to waste your time." She said, running her tongue over her lips quickly. She was struggling to maintain eye contact.

"Darling, you aren't a waste." This kind statement came, surprisingly - or unsurprisingly depending who you asked, as Aziraphale watched with a fondness towards a certain demon Y/N couldn't explain - from Crowley. "We could ask you some as well if you'd like. Even the scales a bit."

She blew out a breath, nodding. Her heart was racing inside her chest. Strangely enough she did trust these two unearthly beings, but she didn't know what to do or say. She'd never imagine herself being in a situation like this before, and she couldn't fathom the words. They slid on her tongue but wouldn't come out. So she meekly said, "you first?"

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a glance. Aziraphale smiled when he looked into Crowley's eyes, remembering how he and Y/N had agreed they were the demon's best feature. They made him look so kind, even if it seemed a roundabout sort of way. Crowley, on the other hand, was admiring the way Aziraphale guided what felt like such a new and unknown conversation. The Angel took lead with a breath and a kind smile, "what is your favorite dessert?"

Her mouth dropped slightly as her eyes lit up, she hadn't expected such an innocent question. "I- I don't know. I can be quite picky. Maybe Tiramisu? I quite fancy that."

"How lovely! Such a wonderful choice." Aziraphale clapped eagerly, now craving a nice cold Tiramisu with a warm cup of coffee right beside it. And of course water as a palate cleanser. Oh and perhaps -

"What-," she started, then seemed to lose steam. Y/N straightened, setting her mug down and sitting more firmly. "When did you meet me? First meet me?"

Crowley gestured for Aziraphale to start. The Angel began, "we met you in 55BC. You couldn't have been more than 25, maybe a little younger given you were unmarried at the time. Crowley and I went to eat oysters, and you were in a corner crying. Julius Caesar had just announced his invasion on Britannia, and you had a brother and father who were both in the Navy. You worried over their safety. I blessed you eternally, and Crowley cursed you eternally."

"What made you curse me?"

Crowley looked embarrassed, "I wasn't used to the whole cursing thing so it was a surprise for s'both. You tripped over my foot and called me an asshole."

Her eyebrows shot up and she laughed slightly. Then she stilled, searching her brain for as much memory as she could. It was hidden in the back of her head, hazy ideas of what happened with no coherent life story. She mused to herself that all those hyper realistic historical dreams she had must have some founding in her experience. Her experience. There was a Y/N that existed out of this body and this name, and she existed over 2,000 years previously. She was a sister and a daughter, she had fears and worries just like she did now. It was a frightening concept.

Crowley seemed to notice Y/N sink into herself, mind moving so quick with all these ideas. He couldn't well tell her not to overthink it because even trying to think about it was overthinking it, but he knew he had to be careful with it. Ease her into the world with little memories here and there. "You like Shakespeare?"

"Oh, I, yes I do. I love Shakespeare's works. I performed in one of his plays in secondary school."

"Which one?"

"Taming of the Shrew," she laughed. "Horrible meaning nowadays, but I was lucky enough to be Katherine. It was fun yelling and banging things up on stage."

Crowley and Aziraphale chuckled, they would have loved to see that performance. They imagined her standing brave, eyes sharp and shoulders pulled back as she spat venomous words to all of the men who dared to stand in her way. She was a passionate woman - time couldn't steal that - regardless of her acting ability, they wanted to see and feel it all.

"Did I ever see Shakespeare?"

"Funny you mentioned it, dearest, but yes. We met you once at Hamlet's rehearsals. You were quite enamored with the stage," Aziraphale looked wistfully into Y/N's eyes. "I know it seems odd to say given the strange circumstances, but it's one of my favorite memories of you. Before I realized who you were, I always thought fondly of the girl who broke in to see a Shakespeare show. You were so excited to be alive and experience life, that can be quite refreshing for an immortal creature."

Y/N's chest felt tight and she tried to swallow the emotion in her chest. She'd been there, seen it with her own eyes with people she didn't know she'd known and would know. The idea of reincarnation, of a soul going through the motions of life forever, haunted her and she suddenly felt as though she couldn't breathe. They were being wonderful with her, patient and kind. They knew that the concept of eternity wasn't easy, a brain couldn't wrap around it just right. It was so much, it was too much. She felt trapped and stupid, so stupid - shouldn't she be able to process this? Characters in film and book seem to understand the confusion around them like it was common sense, they don't panic over each thought related to what it is. Her chest was tight, she closed her eyes and tried to fight back tears she didn't know were there. This was too much, why would some God give all of this to humans?

She suddenly felt a hand along her back, gently rubbing up and down. It was Aziraphale, hands large, warm, and consistent along her spine. She released a shaky breath. "Breathe with me, dearest. Inhale... exhale. Inhale..."

Crowley appeared, sitting on the floor and leaning against the coffee table. He pointed to her hand and asked, "May I?"

She nodded and he lifted it, letting his fingers rub mindless circles into her palms. They were short and sweet, running up to her elbow and down to her finger tips. They made her shudder but in the best way.

Her heart started to calm down, the world stopped spinning beneath her. She focused on Aziraphale's warm hands on her back, Crowley's ginger touches to her arm. They were kind and gentle. It made her feel safe, it made her feel appreciated. In the back of her mind she felt those stupid, mindless thoughts about self loathing and incompetence.

Crowley seemed to sense these feelings. Whether he could read her mind or she was just that transparent she didn't know, but he jumped in. "Y/N, it'snot bad to question the universe. The universe is bloody strange, no one can make sense of it."

She opened her eyes now, blinking away the tears, and looked into his. His glasses were still on and she slowly went to remove them, to reveal the eyes she remembered. These eyes were raw, these eyes didn't lie. They were kind to her. She nodded.

"Dearest, if you are comfortable, would you like to take a rest? I have a bed upstairs if you'd like," Aziraphale said. She turned to look to him. His eyes were glassy and his nose pink, as though he was fighting to hold back tears himself. She liked his face, he had a pretty face. Pink lips with a perfect little Cupid's bow on the top, turned up in an attempt at a smile. She could tell he was struggling, wanting to help her.

So she nodded, stood up on wobbly legs and followed after Aziraphale up a winded staircase to a cozy bedroom. It was small, but covered with antiques and precious books on a desk in the corner. A large bed took up most of the room, made up nearly with beige sheets and many, many fluffy pillows. Aziraphale took his time fussing, folding back the sheets and making sure the pillows were just right. She climbed into the bed and laid her head down, smiling in affirmation.

"Now, dearest, we will be right downstairs. You remember that this situation is frightening, you are not wrong. If you need either of us just call."

She reached out for his hand and kissed his palm, muttering "thank you," against his skin. He nodded, flushed cheeks and ears, and hoped for her to sleep well. She closed her eyes, willing to be swept away in a world without fear.

—————

Aziraphale went down the steps quietly, meeting Crowley back where they were. Crowley had put his spectacles back on, sprawling in the chair. However, Aziraphale knew Crowley well enough to know that it wasn't as casual as it looked. He could tell by the way Crowley adjusted awkwardly that he, too, was trying to hide his emotions. Aziraphale sat down on the couch where Y/N had sat, his hands on his legs awkwardly before he sighed.

Aziraphale poured himself a glass of Crowley's wine, savoring the sharp taste. Crowley's brows shot up and he smirked, "bad day, eh?"

"I still do not understand the concept of sarcasm."

"It's funny, Angel."

"Hardly, if it was funny I would laugh."

Crowley chuckled to himself, sipping the wine. Aziraphale was so unintentionally hilarious sometimes. He glanced outside the window, peeking through the blinds as the sun started to slip behind the buildings. Crowley wondered vaguely how Y/N was feeling, wondered how they could ever make her feel better. There was no good way out of this situation, it'd never happened before and was certainly not going to happen again.

As Crowley thought about Y/N and the world, Aziraphale was caught thinking about the demon. He thought back to how kind he had been to Y/N, how he'd asked for permission to distract her with light touch. His reassuring words she hadn't asked for but he seemed to know she needed to here. The way he understood how terrifying the prospect of life truly was. Aziraphale had had this thought for a while, but it seemed to suddenly strike him that Crowley truly wasn't evil at all. In fact, he was kinder than most angels Aziraphale knew.

Questions. All it has been to cause Crowley to fall was some questions meant out of kindness. And yet questions were what he encouraged, what he did to help Y/N and help Aziraphale. He asked Aziraphale about anything, knowing how the Angel loved to learn and discover. He prompted him to reach farther, do better, not settle for what is known but look for more. Questions paved the way to understanding, which might not always lead to happiness, but it can settle the soul. Crowley had learned a long time ago that knowing is half the battle, but he'd rather stand half a chance than not at all.

"You were very kind to her," Aziraphale eventually said.

"Ngk, she was s'panicking."

"You didn't have to reassure her."

Crowley made a noise in the back of his throat as though he resented that statement, "yous might say that but when you trap someone to eternity, she deserves ki - not bad stuff."

Almost a dangerous slip up. Crowley was typically very aware of the words he spoke and how it could get him in trouble. Though his affiliation with Hell was pretty much done, they still had the power to torture him need be. No use letting the word out that he could ever be 'kind.' Crowley remembered what life was like after the 1830s, and his back seemed to burn with the memory. Scars that never truly heal, but reform, each step more painful than the last. But that was a moment for a different day, different circumstances.

Aziraphale went to speak, then doubted himself. Then he strengthened, reminding himself that things are different. He was going to make a move. "Crowley, I was planning to read my book. Would you - would you like to sit with me while I do?"

Crowley blinked, not understanding Aziraphale's poorly explained request, "I am sssitting Angel."

"Over here." Aziraphale said awkwardly, gesturing to the space around him.

Crowley didn't understand what Aziraphale meant. On the angels lap? Certainly not, neither of them were ready for that level of intimacy. Right beside him? Perhaps, but Aziraphale patted his thigh so perhaps not. The Angel cleared his throat, "I thought, perhaps, you could rest your head on my lap while I read."

Crowley's eyebrows shot up. Ah. Despite himself his cheeks flushed pink, but he wanted more than anything to fulfill the angel's request. He'd never dreamed that Aziraphale would prompt anything.

They stared at one another, realizing what this meant. In this moment they were acknowledging an unspoken part of their relationship, that they were certainly more than friends or acquaintances and far from enemies. That they might 'fancy' each other, as the humans say. This was their person, and they were wrapped eternally with one another. Crowley knew another fact, they were wrapped eternally with Y/N. And they couldn't make their relationship with her function if they could not understand themselves either. He also knew that Aziraphale looked very handsome, ankles crossed and book posed in hand as he waited for the demon.

Crowley sauntered over, laying closer to the edge so his legs could dangle off the arm. Then he let his head fall on the angel's lap. Aziraphale had very strong thighs, always had. They were warm through his trousers, and all of him smelled of vanilla and old books. Crowley let himself close his eyes, cherishing the warmth and surprising comfort of the position.

He felt soft fingers start to scratch lightly at his scalp, musing with his hair as gently as possible. Crowley let out a small moan at the feeling, Satan it felt good to have your hair played with. Aziraphale chuckled.

"What're you reading?"

"Henry V."

Crowley swallowed before asking, "Can yous read it to me?"

Aziraphale smiled, "of course, darling." He flipped back to the first scene for Crowley's sake. "The chorus sings 'O for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest Heaven of invention' ..."

Though they wouldn’t say the words until much later, until emotions seemed to swirl round them and they couldn’t not address it, this was the best way they could say it.

It crossed a demon’s mind for the first clear time, I’m in love with an Angel.

It crossed an angel’s mind for the first clear time, I’m in love with a demon.

—————

She woke up the next morning to the sun blinking through the blinds. She hadn't slept that hard in a long time and she let herself wake up slowly, sleep threatening to take her over again. Y/N sighed, that was nice. Aziraphale's room was organized chaos, and as she woke up she let her eyes adjust to all the little things throughout the room. Trinkets.

A snow-globe that looked like early 1900s, multiple copies of Beowulf in various conditions stacked on his desk, a note from Crowley signed with a large signature taped to the wall, a map of England with a pin sticking out of a town called Tadfield. A whole person's history in one collection.

Y/N was significantly calmer this morning that she was yesterday. She'd woken up for a moment during the night and began to let her mind wander to all the possibilities, before stopping herself and falling asleep. Today, she found herself more used to the idea. It was strange, uncomfortable even, but she wasn't panicking.

She got out of bed, rolling her ankles and stretching her body. Her bobble had fallen out during the night and she grabbed it to pull her hair back and out of her face. Then she carefully went downstairs, smelling the warm scent of baked goods wafting its way to her. When she entered a kitchen that seemed hidden behind rooms full of books, she saw Aziraphale in his vest and trousers paired with an apron covered in sweet little hearts.

"Good morning, my dear!" He said when he saw her. He was making some tea and gestured for her to take a seat at the island table while the kettle finished boiling. "How did you sleep?"

"Really well, actually," she said with a little laugh, her voice hoarse from her first words.

He turned to her, smile so genuine it shocked her, "I'm so glad to hear it. I am making us some cinnamon rolls. I've also decided to slice up some apples to go with it, I thought the freshness of the fruit might be nice first thing in the morning."

"That sounds amazing," she said. "Where is Crowley?"

"He said he had some business to attend to. Shouldn't be out long, I assure you, dearest."

She mulled over in mind what 'business' Crowley had. She knew from some of their explanations in the cafe that they don't necessarily work for Heaven or Hell as they used to, they're more or less independent. That left them to live life as they see fit, so what business could a demon have?

"Thank you, Aziraphale. For everything."

He glanced up, surprised. He came over and grasped her hand lightly, "my dear, this is a strange thing that has happened to you. Crowley and I wish to support you."

"If I can ask... why? You could have not told me, you could have continued without dealing with the consequences. I'd have never known."

"We couldn't do that. You didn't choose this, and we did not mean to do it."

"I don't want to be your responsibility, that's not fair either."

He blushed, "It's, err, it's more than that. We want to be with you. In whatever way you'll take us, myself and Crowley. If I may be forward, we've yearned for you for too long to lose you the first time we realize what we have."

"You've not even known me? I could be horrible."

"You are not horrible, dearest. I could feel it if you were. It's ... odd. Our souls are drawn to you and we want you in our lives, even without knowing the details. Both Crowley and I have longed for the woman with the strange encounters throughout time, and we finally found her. The souls are linked, even without reason, and we'll take you in any way we can."

Her mouth dropped open, forming a little shocked 'o.' That was hot. Is that weird to say that was hot? She'd never had a man - granted he wasn't a man just presenting male - confess wanting her, in any way, like that. It made her toes tingle and her heart warm, and she stared deeply into Aziraphale's blue eyes to be certain this was no joke. She knew he was an Angel but she put that aside and looked at him. He said they were drawn to her, and without saying the word implied they'd loved her for years without knowing. She isn't the sort this happens to, she doesn't have creatures who want to know her and understand her like this. It was a pure connection, one built on a link they couldn't understand but knew all the same. Mysterious ways of the Almighty and all. She kept looking into those eyes, searching for any sort of trickery. Despite herself, she knew he wasn't the sort to lie.

The kettle started to screech and Aziraphale pulled away to pour the cuppas, destroying the moment. He slid hers in front of her, just as she likes it. It was delightful.

Y/N watched Aziraphale move around the kitchen. He wasn't a particularly tall man, but he wasn't short either. She let her eyes fall along his strong forearms, revealed by his sleeves rolled to the elbow, lightly dusted with hair. His hands were capable, yet she knew they were soft. He might not be the most conventional sort of attractive, the type that movie stars are, but she was struck by him. Aziraphale had a draw to him that made her blush and glance down, suddenly shy in his presence yet knowing she was safe in who she is.

She realized that she wanted to know more about him, she wanted to hear his stories about his life, regardless of if she was in it. She wanted to know more about his relationship with Crowley, and what they had that seemed to be left unsaid. Y/N couldn't believe the fantastical reality that started playing in her head, a world where she lived and loved a demon and an Angel. Love was getting ahead of herself, she should be more careful. She longed for a good relationship with them, but that didn't mean that it had to be a romantic relationship. But, as she looked back at the Angel she sighed, damn did the Angel have great thighs.

"Dearest?" He asked, eyes wide and mouth just slightly parted as he stared at her.

She glanced down. Her tea had gotten cold and a warm cinnamon roll with apple slices on the side sat in front of her. "O-oh. Thank you."

"Is everything alright?" Damn him for sounding so sincere, blue eyes sweet like candy.

"You won't laugh?" She asked with a small smile, though she'd already made the decision to tell him honestly. She had a feeling lying would not make things easier in this relationship.

"No," Aziraphale answered precisely.

"I was distracted by you. You're so handsome."

Aziraphale seemed to have a little shock, as though he didn't believe that is what she said. "Pardon?"

"I," She laughed softly, embarrassed to revealing that so boldly. Y/N always admired those who were bold, and in the moments it was needed to she would, but she didn't often express those thoughts. Mainly for a fear of being seen as a creep, but also because rejection is a scary thought. But Aziraphale was sweet, and seemed flattered that she thought him to be handsome. "I think you're very handsome. I like looking at you."

His cheeks flushed pink and he took a rushed sip of his tea, "well, thank you darling. I- I hadn't quite expected that. I've been told I'm soft."

She laughed, "so? Soft isn't a bad thing."

"Do you like soft?"

"Sure, I like soft, I like hard. Besides, I believe personality and talent makes a person attractive anyhow, it's not too important what it might look like to society."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, there's plenty of people who look just as the world wants for beauty. And I don't mean to say they're unattractive, they are. But I personally believe that a kind, talented man who might be ugly to the papers is the most attractive you'll encounter. And a mean, untalented man touted as attractive tends to be ugly. Words change appearances."

"You're very wise, my dear," Aziraphale said with a warm smile, placing his hand over hers. She took a shaking breath, looking up at him. He was close to her now, hot breath that smelled of cinnamon hitting her cheeks as a hand lifted near her cheek, "May I?"

She didn't know what he was asking, but she nodded because she knew she'd relish in it all the same. First Aziraphale's hand went to the bobble round her hair, gently releasing it so it fell down. Her scalp itched from the strain, and his fingers gently massaged it. His hands were strong, capable.

She was struck for a moment with a memory that seemed forgotten. Her holding the hand of a kind stranger as she slid a finger onto his finger, the way he'd clutched hers as though he might lose her. They were warm then, kind. These hands had also blessed her when she wasn't looking, guided her safely home, and cared for her at the bank of the river at St James's park. For Aziraphale it was a flash, a mere second as the memories went through her mind but she felt them deeply, surrounding her. She could feel the dirt floor of the Globe theatre beneath her feet, or the way her heart had jumped when she spotted him in 1865. It was overwhelming and beautiful, she saw a whole person's history in her interactions with him, with them. It was stupid, it was silly, but she wanted to know them. She wanted to experience the life she could only remember in fragments.

Y/N hadn't realized that tears had come down her cheeks until those hands that spoke the history came to hold her face. She leaned into his touch, the pads of his thumbs wiping the tears away.

"My dear, may I?" Aziraphale asked, his voice suddenly huskier than she'd ever heard it. Her eyes opened, staring into his. He cried also, gentle tears down his sweet cheeks. She hadn't realized she'd been holding onto his vest.

"Aziraphale... I remember you."

That was the invitation, the consent, he needed. With a gentle sort of ferocity, Aziraphale leaned in and took her lips in his own. It was eager yet restrained as it held her in place, imploring her to feel all that he felt. All 2,000 years of yearning over an unknown idea. She kissed back with an intensity she didn't know she had. She hadn't much kissing experience, not the sort to fancy many people due to her high standards that seemed only met by non-humans, but with each inexperienced stroke she paired it with passion and enthusiasm. He guided her, led her through the kiss with grace. It was like a dance. It was messy at times, noses clashing and tear stained cheeks brushing, but it was perfect. It was Aziraphale and Y/N, and they seemed to understand what the other needed.

They parted from air, their mouths not far from one another's as they let out gasps. Y/N wanted more, this Angel was dangerously close to becoming her own brand of oxygen and that kiss was the best bloody one she'd ever had. Her first was a horrible sort, a lad with no lips and horrible breath.

Aziraphale leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Y/N's lips before pulling away more definitely. They were both right messes. Mouths swollen and pink, cheeks flushed, and hair ruined. Y/N hadn't even realized her hands had gotten buried in those soft curls, and his explored her locks that now hung free. She had a thing for good hair, and it seemed the Angel did too.

"Did - did I overstep any boundaries?" He asked, having to clear his throat. His voice came back to his normal register, though it seemed to ring with suppressed emotions.

"No," she said simply. "You didn't."

Aziraphale blew out a breath, letting his forehead fall against hers with a soft laugh, "I worried, my dear, that that was a rash decision on my part. You have only, technically, known me for two days."

"I've known you for a lifetime, love."

The nickname seemed to roll off her tongue, as it had the other night with Crowley. Comfortable, easy. And Aziraphale tried to stop the way his vessel's heart jumped at the thought of love. Too early, yes.

"Let's eat our breakfast, shall we?"

"I'm starved," she answered back, sitting on a bar stool and pulling her plate towards her. "This looks delightful."

They ate together with small bits of conversation intermixed between flushed glances when they caught the other staring at them. Aziraphale's food was as good as it looked, sweetness baked into a cinnamon delight that made her roll her eyes back. God she could eat this whole. Or, she supposed, she should say Aziraphale she could eat this whole, remove Her from the equation. Soon Y/N realized that she had a shift coming up at Nina's cafe, and needed to run to her flat to change.

"Your apron is at the front, dearest, with your purse from yesterday. We left them untouched."

"Oh, good, thank you Angel."

She went out and grabbed her purse, checking to make sure she had everything she needed. Then she realized her hair falling in her face. "Aziraphale?"

"Hmm?"

"I need my bobble back."

"Your what, dearest?"

"My bobble, hair tie thing. What you took out of my hair."

Aziraphale hummed as he walked into the main area and towards his desk, an odd yet attractive set of glasses on his nose. "I've not the faintest idea what you're talking about, love. Perhaps it fell."

Ah. Unlikely story. Especially unlikely given the bobble now on the angel's wrist. Guess he fancied her hair like that, round her face. She rolled her eyes and made to leave, before hesitating at the door. "Thank you, Aziraphale. For.. for taking me seriously. It's a strange idea, my soul being immortal and what not. I'm struggling to adjust. But I know that I want you and I want Crowley, I want to figure this out."

Aziraphale's chest seemed to lighten at the words and he smiled at the woman standing before him. She was beautiful and calm as she said this, her hair looking radiant. Y/N was quite right, he fancied her hair indeed. "I'm glad to hear that, Y/N. After your shift, if you'd like, you may come back to the bookshop?"

She smiled, "I'd like that. I, I think I'll pop round to my flat after work first to wash my hair. Let me write my number for you."

Y/N quickly scribbled her number on the front page of a very modern copy of Hunchback of Notre Dame, handing it to Aziraphale and saying, "it's my favorite book. Thought this new copy could handle the defacement."

Then she left quickly and the Angel watched her figure race past the door towards her flat, lips still pink from kissing an Angel.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #aziraphale x crowley #fanfiction #good omens fanfiction #fluff #aziraphale x crowley x reader #aziraphale x reader #so much fluff #angsty fluff #emotional hurt/comfort #binging broadchurch #accidentally made this a series #didn’t mean to but now there will be probably a part 3 and 4 #so sorry to the people who were really invested #sorry this is short

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tobiasdrake · 2 months

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Okay, let's see what this village has to offer. NO I AM NOT SHIRKING MY RESPONSIBILITIES SHUT UP

Some of which are moving. Are these things alive?

Awww, they're adorable. I want to take one with me. On a scale from 1 to 10, how big of a blasphemy would it be for me to take one? Are we talking "occasional passive-aggressive remarks from the local priest" or "struck down by a bolt of divine justice from the heavens" here?

Is that "change" as in the transformative process of one thing becoming another? I don't know why but for some reason I was thinking like "spare change". Like this was the god of pocket currency.

I realize now. How stupid. That probably is. But that is what I thought.

Wow, there is a lot going on with this guy. Showed up out of nowhere one day and spread a global curse in order to motivate people to come beat the shit out of him. This reeks of barely knowing the important details of a complicated situation.

So this is really her quest, and we're just along for the ride. Got it. Kinda makes me wonder why she isn't the main character but I digress.

Wow okay so I really am just along for the ride. I'm here for shits and giggles. An optional companion picked up along the road with no actual stake in anything going on. Alright. Good to know.

So that's the place, huh? I like how everything that's frozen in time turns pitch black. It's a neat visual effect given the stylistically limited color-scale.

Not sure how this is gonna work. If the place is frozen in time then are we going to become frozen in time when we step inside of it?

No, I don't think that's how the metaphysics work out. There's a frozen woman in town whose wife made a pretty necklace to put around her neck, and she was able to touch her frozen wife without being frozen herself. So it's not, like, contagious or anything.

We should be fine.

To be fair, it's the House of Change. The from-what-I-can-tell central religious authority on a belief system modeled entirely around change.

Not all change is good. If the purpose of our faith is a reverence for change itself as a principle then we must understand that both kinds of change, both for the better and for the worse, are nonetheless forms of change. In a sense, by becoming twisted into the structure we see before us, the House is itself continuing to fulfill its central purpose.

Of course, the time freeze is itself anathema to the House's main function. By definition, something that is frozen in time can never change, and therefore the House can no longer demonstrate its purpose.

Then again... would it not be demonstrative of the House's purpose if the House's purpose itself were to change? Thus, by ceasing to be the House of Change and instead becoming the palace from which all time will freeze, the House of Change could be argued to be embodying its own principles to the most extreme degree.

Of course, by the same token that lets us argue that the King is acting as arbiter of Change, it remains true that we will be acting as arbiters of Change when we kick his teeth in tomorrow and undo the time freeze. Change as a concept carries no moral component.

...

I'm sorry, I should probably be having this conversation with Mira. Have a good day, ma'am.

Oh, this must be the shop. Alright, I have a job to do in here.

There she is. Ahem.

WHAT'S UP MADAM CROCOLICIOUS, HOW'S LIFE!?

......

Odile. A very respectful "How do you do this afternoon, Madame Odile?" to you or whatever.

More than that, I am here on a very important mission:

Explain to me how you came by the title of Madame and what I need to do to have a cool title like that. I'm super jealous.

Yeah, I've been thinking on that. A bit rude. If the King's goal is to freeze all of time then it seems hypocritical for the Sadnesses not to be frozen in time.

Then again, I may just be misremembering some details of how Sadnesses work. I'm still groggy.

Right! Right. That's my job in the group. I'm the trap guy. It's my job to step in the trap because my reflexes are the sharpest. Plus I have no stake in this so I'm super-expendable. Got it.

Okay, so I'm the Trap Pincushion and you're on Bestiary duty. That makes sense. My Pocket Notes said you're a researcher, so this is all clicking.

Is your field of research vagueness itself? Are you studying the psychological effects of an unexplained curiosity among a test body of people? Posing your field of research as a riddle for the sake of examining the behaviors that the riddle manifests in the rest of us?

...

Or is this just really funny to you? Because I can see either being plausible.

That'll be fine. I found a killer patch of grass for snoozing. I can probably just sleep there and let the rest of you bicker about the beds.

I mean. Worse comes to worse, we can always play Rock Paper Scissors over it.

Alright. One down. Back to pokin' stuff.

( 'O' )

IT'S PERFECT

YOU ARE GOING TO GROW UP TO BE AN INCREDIBLE ARTIST

I will store this with my Pocket Notes so I never forget what my team looks like. That sounds like sarcasm but it is in fact a valid concern. Thank you so much, you brilliant and talented child!

#in stars and time #drake plays in stars and time

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dnalt-d2 · 3 months

Text

QSMP 2024 THINGS

OH BOY OH BOY IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

TIME TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY, HOW I FEEL, AND THINGS I PREDICT

To start off with, I maintain my stance of "Fuck that Rabbit." I never liked the Duck, and this fucking camera-staring-at Rabbit is irritating me even moreso. May he perish in the flames of capitalism that he has created

Also fuck that narrator guy. He has no right sounding so jovial

(And god I can't believe the Duck really never did anything SERIOUSLY FUCK THAT GUY /lh)

Regarding the paywall thing, I kind of like the idea of it in certain increments. I know that Etoiles has been praying to any deity that will listen for the Nether to open, and I'm sure he's happy to know he can pay those deities off now. On the other hand, I've already seen a decent amount of discouragement on the lack of Create. I'm hoping that's the second thing to get unlocked for both Tubbo and AyPierre's sakes

And in terms of the reset itself, I also like the idea of it somewhat. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sometimes likes to start these types of games over for that fun feeling of playing from the ground up. Though maybe the mobs should be a little weaker, since everyone's starting from scratch. Then again, Etoiles has like a million Dark Metal, so

It's also nice seeing the beginning of these communities. Phil becoming Cellbit's temporary neighbor before he begins his nomadic lifestyle. And of course theres the up and coming Home of Fobo where definitely no one is Homophobic

Though speaking of Phil and Cellbit, I also maintain my disappointment in the lack of actual rescue mission. Like I was excited for that. I made a comic about it. And while my disappointment doesn't come from my comic being wrong, it does come from the fact that this was a thing that an ADMIN introduced. RICHAS went to Phil to recruit him for the mission, just for them to just do a little cinematic instead. Like I'm guessing this has to do with the delay in the server opening, since it was originally going to open about a week ago. My guess is that the rescue was going to happen this prior week, but because of the delay in opening the server, they decided to nix the rescue entirely and just have them show up on the opening day instead. It sucks, but I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles

AND NOW PREDICTION THING

So remember how Bagi at one point said that the Admins asked them what structures they'd like to have preserved for NO REASON AT ALL????

And how everyone spawned at about -200000 blocks away??

Well I'm kinda hoping that there's some of the original structures, back near that Zero Coordinate. Or maybe there's something else. Obviously I have no basis for any of that, but I think everyone's gonna be upset if they really lose all their builds. Specifically the Dragon, Titan, and Bad's as-of-yet unused Egg Carton. He labored over that for a while, it would SUCK if it just never got used at all. My other hope is that there's a pay-goal for bringing some structures back. That'd be a neat way to incorporate that feature. Not to mention that people who might've been in the middle of projects can get back to said projects. I think that's the main problem with losing everything, a lot of plans have essentially been destroyed

And now an Analysis

So fun fact, you know how Ducks and Rabbits are both heavily associated with Easter, which celebrates the death and rebirth of a certain person?? And how the server has essentially been reset and reborn??

Yeah that I guess, that's all I've got on that really

All I've got in general really

Here's to 2024, everyone. And the further loss of sanity we and the Islanders shall all endure

yee

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quibbs126 · 10 months

Text

Well alright, someone said yes, so I’ll post the designs

Warning, these are kind of old and not very good art. Or maybe I’m just being self critical, some of it I think still looks neat

Let’s start with the ones that I made look cool and drew both the Stand Human and Human Stand

Unfortunately I could never figure out a Stand design for Okuyasu, so he only has his half done

Why does the lettering actually look kind of cool…like it doesn’t look half assed at all like it normally does. Maybe because I was intentionally trying to make it look cool

I made Joseph a scarf because I remember his scarf being a notable part of his design. Also Hermit Purple was vines, so equal treatment

Giorno looks like that because I recall at the time some people saying how Golden Experience looked like young Haruno but GER looked more like current day Giorno, so I kind of took that idea and made him look like Haruno, though maybe I took things too literal. Also that’s why Oro looks like GER. Also Oro is supposed to have a somewhat unsettling stare, since people say GER looks kind of creepy

Also another thing I want to mention about Polnareff, specifically his name, so that’s not an 80s song, that’s from 2014, it’s the name of a song from a French artist I liked. So realistically it probably wouldn’t be used but I thought it sounded cool. And hey, the song itself samples a Michael Jackson song, so eh?

Anyways, so something I should mention about this style, so at the time I was obsessed with this other artist’s, @droolingdemon style, and I tried desperately to recreate it. I think by this point I just tried to integrate it with my current style, but that’s why the art style looks the way it does. I might make another post about the subject on its own though

Anyways, onto the Chibi style Stand humanizations

I’ll just list some things I remember from their characters

So I did eventually consider turning Purple Haze into a dog, I think specifically a greyhound, but I didn’t know how to draw dogs, so that never happened

Stone Free never takes off those sunglasses and never lets anyone see what she looks like under them. As it turns out, she’s actually blind, and this would be revealed around the snail part in the story (assuming there are still snails), as she’s unaffected, and I believe she’s told to drive a car because of it, but she can’t, and when asked why, she says it’s because she’s blind (and that this was probably a bad time to relay that info)

The three in the last pic are all different characters who end up sharing the same Stand as it gets passed around between them. Whitesnake is part of the prison staff, C-Moon is just an unfortunate young lady who just happens to get stuck with the Stand after something happens to Whitesnake, and Made in Heaven is I think a horse rider who gets the Stand from C-Moon, probably forcibly taking it from her (and she likely dies) as he knows what it is. Also, Whitesnake and Made in Heaven were dating

Oh yeah, also the first Standswap art I did, which was also Chibi style, I just singled it out because of that

Featuring Star Platinum and The World. Not sure I ever found a definitive design for The World, but maybe I did in my sketchbook

Anyways, so then we have some random headshot ones I did

Let’s see, in the first one we have GER looking ominous, Purple Haze, the blushing one is Tusk Act 1, and buns is Ball Breaker. Then for the second one we have Whitesnake, Under World, Killer Queen and Scary Monsters

I believe one thing I did for the Part 7 swap storyline was to have Tusk have a journey of slowly transitioning from a woman as Act 1 to a man as Act 4. I know I’ve drawn Act 4 Tusk but I think it was in my sketchbook, so I cannot show it. Also I believe Ball Breaker was trans too, just male to female, and where Tusk got the idea that you can just be your preferred gender if you want. Also note that at the time, I did not actually really understand how transitioning worked. Though to be honest, I think the main thing was that I didn’t know hormones existed, or that transitioning could be more than just making yourself look like your preferred gender

Anyways, on to Scary Monsters. I believe he rode horseback without a saddle. Also, he started out with one Stand (Dr Ferdinand) but then got another (Diego)

Then with Killer Queen, I believe he was a mute cop. But also secretly a serial killer. Also he might have had a cat like face

And yeah, I think that’s about it, hope you liked it

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sillyromance · 3 months

Note

Hello! I don’t know if you know this character well enough, but I’ll try my best. Can you please make some kind of scenario with G1 Sunstreaker?

Good day, dear anonymous!

I'm very sorry that completing this has taken so much time... But, finally, I've come up with an idea for the writing. Perhaps, it has turned out too fluffy...

Nevertheless, hope you enjoy!

Not alone.

- Y/n!

You turned – your eyes locked on the lemon-yellow frame of Sunstreaker. Your big autobot friend had just returned from the mission: his crimson brother was somewhere nearby too since you could hear his loud crispy voice; he was buzzing annoyingly like a big bug in a child's fist. Definitely, boasting again… If there was a battle, those two inevitably found themselves right in the middle of it – and none of the twins was shy to show off, talking about their victories and crazy adventures. Though, that time it seemed like one of the young heroes decided to spend some time with a little human instead…

- Hi, pal! How’s it goin’? – You tried to make your voice sound in the most optimistic way possible, though a careful listener would easily recognise you pretended.

- We’ve fried some ‘cons, obviously! You should have seen how their armor got covered with that appetizing crisp! – He went down on his knee, his blue optics looking attentively in your eyes. – A usual day, really… But I see there’s somethin’ wrong. Mind to tell me?

- It's nothing. Well... I don’t know. It’s not that important. – Your gaze avoided his, your hands going back and forth, rubbing your hips and leaving long white stripes on the jeans.

There were many other bots around. Optimus, Ironhide, First Aid… Of course, they were very compassionate and understanding - but you didn’t want to talk about your problems while it was so crowded. As for Sunny, you felt grateful for being cared about, especially if it was someone who usually cared about himself more than about anyone else… Still, such stuff were not for everyone to know…

There were many things going wrong in your life lately. It would be hard to count them all… However, it didn’t mean you would let yourself act like a baby and cry on a random shoulder – no matter fleshy or steely. The bots and people working with them had a lot of things to do. Decepticons never lost a chance to cause even a tiny trouble – though, honestly, usually it was a complete disaster. It was a war… There was no time for being weak. The world wouldn’t save itself.

Sunstreaker titled his helm on a side and smiled softly.

- I thought of a ride around the base… I wondered if you'd like to join me, huh? I doubt you will reject such a cool guy like me.

- Sure not, Sunny. – You couldn’t help but smirked teasingly at his charming behaviour. - Though, I’m afraid to burn down like those ‘cons. It’s getting kinda hot around here, haven't you noticed?

He laughed lightheartedly, you accompanied him. Then he turned into his vehicle mode. Getting in the car, you heard Wheeljack calling for you two:

- Hey, guys! Where are you going?

- Oh, doc! It's just a little ride!

- Don’t you remember, Streaker – you and Sideswipe are helping me in the lab this evenin’!

- Don’t worry, doc! You know, you can count on us!

- Yeah… I don't think so after the previous time I…

- Whatever, bye!

Before the inventor could say anything else, the Lamborghini drove off the place at full speed, heading to the exit.

Evening air was refreshing; it carried soothing scents of warm sand and wild flowers. Rubby-gold clouds swam in the peach sky; tired ochre sun was slightly touching the edge of the horizon. The bot was silent. It was a little bit surprising, though you was grateful. You didn’t want to chat at that moment.

Looking at the rocky, orange landscape, you sighed with satisfaction. That was exactly that you needed. Noisy and humid atmosphere of the base tired you up; Sunstreaker saw this perfectly at the very minute he spotted you on that corner. He knew you well enough. You two didn’t waste much time on long preludes at the first meeting and got along just fine. The more you hanged out together, the closer you became. So, you quickly reached the point when friends start reading each other’s minds.

He was enjoying your presence, your body lying conveniently on his cushy seats and your hands touching the steering wheel. Though you weren't a cybotronian, you were one of the most important souls in the world for him – after his beloved brother, of course. And your low spirit concerned him much. He really wanted to speak to you there and then, however, he saw it wasn’t a good moment. Well, you would be at your secret place soon anyways – there he would ask…

After one-two kilometers he slowed down and pulled over to the side road which soon made its way upwards a sloping hill. There were much more plants than before; slim and dry trunks of acacias surrounded you, throwing long lavender shades at the car and the passenger inside. Endless blue sea of the heavens was broken into pieces of rainbow glass with thin, blooming brunches. The bot stopped; you hopped out and ran forward to a long pink cliff looming behind the trees. Sunstreaker followed, already on his feet too.

The cliff was a good spot for relaxation. It was calm, quiet, peaceful; a colorful blooming plain and a small bunch of the trees created a beautiful, almost wild landscape. Everywhere you could see was a domain of prairie. Though, downwards, there was a small town in a valley; the streetlights always switched on pretty early, they looked like fireflies sitting on the ancient eastern carpet. At that moment they were shining too – tiny stars floating in the violet air. Tough stone was drowning in plants; yellow grass tickled your bare ankles. The grove on the left rustled softly in the coming twilights; wide waves were walking over the fields.

- So… Now, we are alone. – The bot began, looking at the transparent, smoky moon starting its way above the world. – Maybe, now could you tell me?

You shrugged your shoulders, then looked at your boots – a tiny ant was running around your foot helplessly. You took a long stalk and helped the insect down on the ground.

- I don’t know. It’s… a lot.

The bot chuckled.

- I’m all audio sensors.

- Since when have you become so thoughtful, buddy?

- Since I’ve known you!

- Really? Ok, ok…

You were talking till the sun sat and the sky got covered in its cute glittering freckles. The wind rose; it was already chilly, almost cold. Thin summer shirt wasn’t able to protect you from the cooling night weather. You rubbed your forearms, trying to regain warmth; Sunstreaker glanced at your shivering figure, worried.

- Are you cold, little one? – He asked.

- Yeah… A bit. I think, it would be better for us to return.

- Agreed… - He responded, transforming…

At base everyone had been sleeping when you came. Trying not to wake the comrades up (especially, Wheeljack), you sneaked inside and turned into one of the corridors, heading to your quarters.

- Are you sure you’ll be all right on your own? – Your friend kneeled and let you climb on his large flat palm. His optics were gleaming softly in the darkness.

- Are there any other options? – You smiled.

- Well… - His voice became shaky. – I could… take you with me…

- It would be uncomfortable for both of us, don’t you think?

He thought for a minute or two, then turned to you, expression of his faceplate showing a mix of hope and... embarrassment?!

- Actually, I have an idea… But I don’t know if you…

- Just say it out loud, boy.

He took a deep “breath”, stabilizing his systems.

- I could… I could put you in my fuel tank. So, you would be safe while sleeping and… not alone as well.

You heart skipped a beat.

- Wait, wait, wait… But transformers’ fueltanks work in the same way human stomachs do, don’t they?

- Still, we can’t process organic materials, remember?

He had a point. You exhaled.

- Right… Nevertheless, it sounds so crazy…

- I understand. So... It’s your choice.

You rubbed your chin, considering the offer. On one hand, you were about to be swallowed(!) alive by a metal titan and spend a whole night inside him without any guaranties that something wouldn’t go wrong. But at the same time, he was your best friend; you could trust him. After all, that all was just a matter of trust.

You met his gaze once again - the bot waited for your decision, though you could see the flames of impatience jumping in his optics.

- I… I don’t mind. I know you won’t hurt me.

You could tell he was happy to hear that; tension released the bot’s figure, he grinned joyfully like a big cat.

- Wow! Thank you, Y/N! I swear it's gonna be the best experience possible for you!

- Fine, big guy! Let’s get it over with…

He opened the door of the room he and his brother were sharing. Sideswipe was snoring peacefully on his berth; he didn’t notice neither of you and didn’t hear how Sunstreaker closed the door and lied on his own bed.

- Shhhh… - He whispered as he saw you trying to say something. – He won’t bother us. Sides won’t open his optics even if the skies crack on two.

You giggled. But the bot’s faceplate suddenly went sober.

- Are you still sure?

You nodded confidently.

- Perfect… If anything scares you, just call for me - I'll stop and let you out. Don’t be shy, Ok?

- Ok.

- Good… Now, please, hold still…

His grip tightened a little as you were lifted to his opening mouth. Your feet were laid on something wet and warm – it wrapped around them, coating you in heavy, slick slime. Tingles ran down your spine as you realized it was his glossa tasting you, and the slime was the drool coaxing your limbs, preparing you for… for the way down. Sunstreaker’s throat produced a silent moan of pleasure – it seemed he liked your flavor! Huh… You couldn’t help but blushed, thinking about you being such a tasty tiny candy.

Meanwhile, the bot very gently pushed you further, to the pharynx. Your hands finally met with the pulsing, smooth tongue which leaned to them eagerly, then slipped behind you back. The servo loosened up; now you were in the bot’s mouth entirely, being held by his long, plushie glossa. Misty, hot air filled your lungs; it was too dark to see, but you could feel your toes wriggling in the open space – the awaiting entrance of the esophagus. Streams of oily saliva vanished in that black hole with loud, delicious sounds of gulps. At first, they frightened you; instinctively, you grabbed the flesh of your improvised bed and made an attempt to crawl away from the danger. However, the very minute you did that, the swallows faded. Sunstreacker froze still, granting you a chance to stop – undoubtedly, it would disappoint him, but he didn’t want to startle his human friend. You took a big breath and forced yourself to calm down. There was nothing that would mean harm to you. The mech wouldn’t hurt you - he loved you! You went through so many things together – undeniably, he was reckless sometimes, but he wouldn’t do anything that would lead to death of those he valued the most.

Hesitantly, you patted the glossa – it licked your cheek playfully, comforting, then bend over, letting you slide back to the throat. Powerful metal muscles contracted around your ankles and tugged you in the comforting embrace of the esophagus.

Trembling, the bot outlined a small round bulge on his neck with his digit as you were fully pulled inside his throat. He swallowed hard, yet carefully, sending your warm, fragile body further down his huge tough body. The mech could still sense you wriggle, moving deeper and deeper inside beneath his chest plates. Some more slow seconds – and you arrived at your destination, being dropped into whining chamber of the alien “stomach”, making a nice little bulge on Sunstreaker’s abdomen.

His servo leisurely traced your path and stayed on the lump, massaging it slightly. Inside, it was gurgly and wet, but cozily warm and soft. You felt your friend’s indecisive caresses and pressed your hand against a thick grey wall permeated with long thin energon cables from the bottom to the top.

- How are you, Y/N? Is it OK?

- Yes, Sunny, it is. Don’t worry so much! You did great, by the way…

- Oh… That’s good to hear, I guess… You too.

- Thanks…

It was awkward to have a conversation in that position, so neither of you said a word anymore. You rested against the plump bumps of the fueltank rubbing at you lovingly; soothing quiet sparkbeat and dim light coming from the walls as well as gentle growling sounds and warmth made its work – your eyelids soon grew heavy, you yawned and snuggled into the squishy metal.

- Sweet dreams, Sunny.

The bot curled up around you, hugging his growling, full middle.

- Same for you, dear.

#extreme cuddling #soft vore #safe vore #transformers vore #transvoremers #willing pred #willing prey #g/t vore #g1 vore #sunstreaker vore #vore fluff #sfw vore

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chvoswxtch · 2 years

Text

shakespeare is metal. (2/?)

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie munson desperately needs to graduate this year, and you're the only tutor that hasn't turned him down. (part 2 to "i’m not above begging")

warnings: cursing, mentions of murder/suicide (in regards to shakespeare), jason carver being a shithead (is that even a warning??)

word count: 2.8k

a/n: you guyssss 🥺 I can’t believe the first part of this has 100 notes! thank you all so much for being so kind. i’m truly grateful for every single one of you that took the time to read this and provide such positive responses. it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I got carried away again at 2,764 words (I have a too much gene, oops). as always, all feedback is welcomed/appreciated! please let me know if you want to be tagged in the next parts!

tags: @uraveragequeer

It had been three weeks since I had started tutoring Eddie. I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I had agreed to the arrangement in the first place. I had known of Eddie, but I didn’t know Eddie. Not really. The morning of our first tutoring session, I ransacked my entire closet trying to figure out what to wear. I had never given so much thought into an outfit, despite the obligatory first day of school outfit of course. I stared at my frazzled face in the mirror, cheeks glowing red from hurling clothes on and off my body, my once neatly curled hair now sticking out in odd places. Why do I suddenly care so much what Eddie Munson thinks of my clothes? He wears that same Hellfire shirt every other day.

Eddie had agreed to meet me that Monday morning in the library at 7:30 am sharp. I had expected him to be late, partly because Eddie Munson was not known for his punctuality, but also because I literally had to give him directions to the library. It amused me that the place I had spent a majority of my time in high school, he had never stepped foot in. I arrived at 7:15 and took a seat at one of the tables near the back. The library was empty, not even the librarian had arrived yet. My knee bounced in anticipation as I continuously checked the clock behind the desk what felt like every 30 seconds.

7:17. 7:19. 7:21. 7:23.

Just as the minute hand landed at 7:30, Eddie Munson was bursting through the library doors with a large, goofy grin on his face. My face must have betrayed my inner thoughts, because he looked at me with a knowing smirk and pointed in my direction as he took a seat in front of me.

“You thought I wasn’t gonna show, didn’t ya?”

“No! I just..expected you to get lost..that’s all. Since you’ve never been in here. Um, let’s get started, yeah?”

“Sure. But just so you know, I’d never stand you up angel.”

Eddie shot me a wink and a lopsided grin, pulling out a pencil and a notebook that had definitely seen better days. And me? I was malfunctioning. Eddie Munson winked at me. And called me angel. And I liked it. Why did I like it so much?

That was essentially how all of our tutoring sessions had gone so far. Eddie would be his usual charming self, say or do something flirtatious, and I would be left a stuttering mess trying to steer his attention back to the task at hand, which was a victory in itself. That boy had the attention span of a baby goldfish when it came to topics he bore no interest in. Dungeons and Dragons? Oh he could go on for days. Shakespeare? I couldn’t even get him to hold a book in his hand for longer than 5 seconds.

“I don’t understand why I have to do this. Why do I have to agree that this old dude is ‘one of the greatest writers of our time’ when I think he sucks? It’s forced conformity. I mean who even decided Shakespeare was so ‘great’? Why should we have to be forced to study him until the end of time because of one stuck up asshole’s opinion who’s clearly never read anything worthwhile? Now Tolkien, there’s a fucking writer. Why can’t I do this stupid project on Lord of the Rings?”

“Because you want to pass Mrs. O’Donnell’s class and graduate?”

Eddie groaned loudly, rubbing his large palms over his face and tilting his chair back as he put his feet up on the table which earned him a dirty look from the librarian. His arms crossed over his chest and he stared down at the several books in front of him with detest, as if each one of them had personally offended him. His final project was to pick a work of Shakespeare, read it, and write a three page essay on its meaning. The project itself wasn’t difficult, but Eddie was.

“Look why don’t you think of it as a..um..what do you call it in your game? A challenge?”

“Quest, sweetheart. It’s called a quest.”

Sweetheart.

“R-Right, quest. Think of this as a quest. Shakespeare, is your key to getting out of Mrs. O’Donnell’s class, and Hawkins High itself. Except instead of dice, you have to write a paper.”

“But dice are so much cooler! The new set I got last week are-”

“Eddie.”

“Fine.”

Eddie grumbled and picked up a copy of Romeo and Juliet, eyeing the cover in disgust. His large brown eyes scanned over the various copies laying on the table, all of which he held with contempt. Eddie’s eyes were quickly becoming one of my favorite things about him. They were so warm and expressive, like large pools of melted chocolate. It was hard not to get lost in them. They felt like a safe space. His fingers slowly moved over the covers of the worn paperbacks, his large rings gleaming under the harsh lights in the library. Eddie’s hands were also becoming another one of my favorite things about him. They were so large, and everytime I looked at them, I remembered how soft and warm his skin felt against my own. Eddie was an expressive talker, always talking with his hands and animated gestures. I often found myself getting caught up in his movements, eyes so focused on following his fingers I couldn’t even hear what he was saying. During the past 3 weeks, my mind constantly wandered to his hands. He had mentioned being in a band once, which instantly sent my mind into a frenzy wondering what his hands looked like when he played.

Eddie had been a constant figure in my mind ever since our interaction in the tutoring center. The more time we spent together, the worse it seemed to get. I found myself worrying about my appearance more, tripping over my words in front of him, constantly looking for excuses to talk to him outside of our sessions. I had no idea what was happening to me or why I was all of a sudden so enthralled with Eddie Munson.

“Alright, level with me angel. Which one of these books will make me want to slam my head in my van door the least?”

The completely unamused expression on Eddie’s face caused me to laugh out loud. I quickly cupped one of my hands over my mouth and flashed the librarian an apologetic look. I shook my head as I regained my composure, looking over at Eddie who had a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. I made the mistake of letting Eddie know that I thought he was funny. Since the first time he made me giggle, he made it his personal mission to get at least one laugh out of me every session, no matter what it took. There was no length he wouldn’t go to.

“You are going to get us kicked out! I can’t be banned from the library Eddie, I practically live here! Look, Shakespeare is not that bad. If you would pay attention, you would know he’s actually pretty..metal.”

Eddie stared at me incredulously with wide eyes, his chair landing back on the floor with a loud thunk as he leaned over the table. His dark brows knit together in the middle of his forehead as he mimicked my words.

“I’m sorry..did you just say Shakespeare is..metal?”

“For his time, yeah. A lot of his plays involve murder, or suicide, or a murder-suicide. Some of them are pretty violent. He was also actually kind of a rebel. He wrote tons of plays that cryptically called out the royals of his time, knowing that they would be performed in front of them. He essentially mocked them to their faces, and they had no idea.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered between the titles on the table and me, disbelief written clearly all over his features. He leaned forward to rest his cheek in the palm of his hand. After several minutes of contemplation, he nodded slowly with a click of his tongue, his eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Huh, that is pretty fucking metal.”

I pulled out a copy of Hamlet from the stack and put it in front of Eddie, gently tapping on the cover.

“You’ll like this one. There’s murder, suicide, witchcraft and other supernatural stuff. Arguably one of Shakespeare’s best soliloquies. It’s one of my favorites. Plus, I think you’ll like Hamlet. He’s a drama queen, like you.”

Eddie let out a sharp gasp, covering his chest in an exaggerated fashion with one of his large hands. He painted an expression of mock offense and quickly stood from the chair, gaining everyone’s attention in the library.

“Excuse me? You..you think I’m a drama queen? Wow. I just..you know..you think you know someone and then..they just break your heart. Unbelievable. I really thought we had something Y/N, something special.”

I tried my hardest to contain my giggles, quickly reaching out to grasp onto Eddie’s wrist as he started to walk away from our table. My cheeks flamed when I realized all the other students in the library were staring at us. Some of them looked amused, some of them looked disgusted. I hated the way people stared at Eddie. I hated how much they judged him.

“Eddie! Shh! Seriously, please sit down. If we get kicked out of the library, I can’t tutor you anymore. You know I can’t bring you to the tutoring center anymore.”

Eddie had been unofficially banned from the tutoring center after our second session for being a “distraction”. After ten minutes of drum solos with pencils, Eddie being well, just Eddie, and a heated exchange with one of the jocks, we moved permanently to the library. Although, it seemed like it was only a matter of time before we were unofficially banished from here as well.

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, his long fingers nearly covering the entire front cover of the copy of Hamlet still in his hand. He cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips, eventually sitting on top of the table right next to my chair. The sudden closeness caused me to tense as the scent of his cologne filled my senses, leaving me somewhat dizzy.

“Fine. But only because I want to sit. Not because you said so. I want to make that perfectly clear.”

“Crystal. But for the record, you know you’re a drama queen. You practically put on your own Shakespearian show everyday at lunch.”

“Well if you wanted a front row seat sweetheart, all you had to do was ask.”

My next words of banter immediately caught in my throat, and I prayed to whoever was listening Eddie couldn’t see the change in color of my cheeks. Eddie Munson was a natural flirt. That was just his personality. I had to remind myself that several times over the past few weeks. He’s not flirting with you, dummy. He’s just being nice. He talks like this to everyone. Luckily the bell rang and saved me from becoming a stumbling mess in front of Eddie once again.

“I mean it, you should come sit with us sometime. If you’re feeling brave. See ya later, angel.”

I grumbled under my breath the entire walk to my locker. Damn Eddie Munson. Damn him and his stupid wink and stupid smirk and stupid cute dumb face that sends my brain into a total meltdown.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely registered the pair of blue eyes that were staring at me expectantly as I shut my locker door.

“Hey..you.”

Jason Carver. I had tutored him several times in the past two and a half years, and he still didn’t know my fucking name. I forced a tight-lipped smile on my lips and held my books protectively against my chest.

“Hi Jason. What can I do for you?”

“I’m actually here about what I can do for you.”

My face must have given away my confusion, since Jason started to laugh and leaned against the locker next to mine. A little too close for my liking.

“You know, about the freak.”

“Excuse me?”

I hated the way that word rolled off his tongue so easily, as if it had said it a million times before. I knew he had. And I knew exactly who he was hurling that word at.

“Come on, you know you don’t have to tutor him right? You can say no.”

“No I can’t, Jason. It’s my job.”

“I know plenty of tutors who have turned that freak down, for good reason.”

“Well unlike them, I take my job seriously. I can’t just turn away a student that needs my help.”

Jason’s lips stretched into a grin that I’m sure was supposed to be charming, but to me it just looked threatening. Jason didn’t like to be challenged. He took a step forward to lean against my locker, placing his arm on the metal above my head. I didn’t like the way he towered over me. It made me feel like a helpless animal trapped by its prey, being taunted.

“Look, I get it. You’re a sweet girl, and a saint if you ask me. I know you take it seriously. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have passed chemistry and been kicked off the team a long time ago. I owe you a lot. Which is why I’m here. I’m just looking out for you, okay? I know you try to see the good in people and all, but there’s no good in that devil worshiping freak. Like I said, I owe you. So if he starts to bother you, or make you feel unsafe, come to me. I just wanna protect you.”

Protect me? You don’t even know my fucking name. And you don’t know Eddie. It took everything in my power not to laugh in his face, every shred of self-control not to call him an asshole and to mind his fucking business. But I couldn’t do that. I’m the nice girl. Nice girls don’t talk like that. Nice girls don’t cause a scene. Nice girls smile and nod. So, that’s exactly what I did.

“Thank you, Jason. I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Hey, you looked out for me. I just want to repay the favor. You’ll come to me, right? Promise?”

There was an edge to his tone, like he was daring me to disobey. My fingers gripped onto the spine of my math textbook so tightly I knew they had turned white. I did my best to appear natural, forging another submissive smile onto my lips.

“I promise.”

My answer seemed to satisfy him. He gave my shoulder a tight squeeze, threw me his most charming smile, and took off down the hall towards the gym. I felt dirty. I felt like I needed to take the most scalding hot shower I could stand to burn away every piece of evidence of Jason Carver’s hand on my shoulder. But mostly, I felt guilty. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t correct him. I didn’t stand up for Eddie, which is what I should have done. Social status be damned. Not like I really had one, but still. There was a nauseating feeling building in my stomach. He would have done it for you.

Eddie would have stood up for me. He wouldn’t have hesitated. He wouldn’t be a coward like me. At that moment, I wondered if he knew. I wondered if he could see right through me, see me for who I really was. A coward. A girl that always did as she was told so she didn’t make waves. A girl that kept quiet, and never spoke up, even against something she knew was wrong. Another conformist.

He would be ashamed of you.

That one thought played over and over in my head all night as I laid in bed. That nauseous feeling never went away, it just continued to gnaw at my nerves and only grew in strength as the hours ticked away. I thought about Eddie, and how I was going to handle seeing his sweet smile while my guilt was eating me up inside. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #hellfire club #jason carver

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hebimoonlightwrites · 2 years

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could i request how nayuta, shion and samatoki would react to his female s/o giving neck kisses/leaving a mark?

Writer's corner: Hi! Of course you can! Here! Hope you like it. If not, please, let me know and ask for another one, so I can write something else for you~ Enjoy!

Warnings: I don't know if I should write something here... Just what anon asked for~ A little bit of jealousy and, because of Shion and Samatoki... well... slight NSFW~ (Please minors, do not interact, thank you~)

⋆𝓝𝓪𝔂𝓾𝓽𝓪, 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓢𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓸𝓴𝓲⋆ 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝓶!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓼/𝓸 𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓴 𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼

⋆Contrary to his twin brother, I think Nayuta would be pretty calm. He wouldn’t be all screaming embarrassed like how I think Kanata would be (at least initially).

⋆He would be there, trying to understand what you’re doing.

⋆”Hm... y/n? What.. What are you doing? We weren’t supposed to... cuddle?”

⋆Then he would feel you biting and kissing his neck. You’d surely be invited by his scent, in addition to the fact that, now that Nayuta’s is pretty famous, he could be surrounded by plenty of female fangirls...

⋆Well.. I don’t know why, but I headcanon him smelling nice, something fresh, like if you could smell the winter’s essence itself. Perhaps a kind of smell which would definitely wrap you like an hot blanket in rainy and cold nights could do.

⋆Since Nayuta is also in delicate health, I imagine him being also pretty delicate, especially his skin.

⋆Like if you could just hurt him or make his pale and soft skin red only scratching him slightly, you know?

⋆That’s why I also see his neck becoming full of marks immediately after you kissed it.

⋆He’d feel something strange on his neck, but didn’t notice it.

⋆Then he’d stop you and push you away slightly, then look into your eyes.

⋆”Y/n... Do you... Do you really love me..?”

⋆You’d smile softly in response, brushing a lock of your hair away from your cheek and tucking it behind your ear, showing your earring.

⋆After you left some marks on his neck, he’d surely come back cuddling or hugging you and you both would fall asleep adorably together, wrapped in a blanket.

⋆Since I’m pretty stupid, I imagine Kanata would make him notice!

⋆”Nayuta- what do you have on your neck?! It’s completely marked with red... red signs?!”

⋆Kanata would realize without even receiving his brother’s explanation!

⋆He would approach his dear brother and look straight at his neck until he’d completely become pale and his expression would turn to be blank.

⋆”Hmm..? You mean the marks..? Oh..𝓨/𝓷 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶..”, he’d secretly smirk, his cheeks blushing pink a little.

⋆OH YES! Finally someone who asks for this MAN here!

⋆Shion doesn’t care about what people think of him and prefers to live his life doing what he wants to, without stopping himself.

⋆He’s always in search of some kind of fun, so.. I think he’d quite enjoy your company~

⋆I headcanon you both being there, lying on your bed, listening to music together.

⋆It’s night.

⋆We know how Shion’s constitution can’t stand sunlight, so he’s nocturnal and prefers to hang out at night.

⋆You’d be sitting on his lap, with your cheek on his chest, looking at his pale hand scrolling on his smartphone’s screen.

⋆”Why are you here, Shion..? I wasn’t waiting for you.. I thought you were going to go somewhere else, searching for fun as you always do..”

⋆You’d show a little bit of your innocent jealousy and sadness and immediately see his hand freezing on the smartphone’s screen in response.

⋆Then you’d hear him suddenly start talking about the fact that he was there ‘cause he WAS searching for fun, actually, and that he was bored~.

⋆That’s when you’d look at his face, seeing his usual red eyes metaphorically wrapped in attendance.

⋆He’d know how jealous you are and try to tease you, telling you about his nocturnal experiences.

⋆”She was cute, yeah.... We’ve had fun~”

⋆That’s when you’d decide to snuggle him more and start kissing his neck.

⋆This would surely catch his attention, but he didn’t be as surprised as he would be after some minutes, when you’d start also letting marks on his pale neck.

⋆As hedonist as he is, he’d simply enjoy the moment, caressing your hair and biting his own lips, before deciding to kiss yours.

⋆You’d pray to yourself that he’d fall for you, just like you did for him.

⋆After your fun moment together, he’d look at you, still lying beside you and giggle softly.

⋆”You’re jealous, then..? Don’t worry.. I won’t abandon you.. 𝓘𝓽’𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷, 𝔂/𝓷~…”

⋆Ooh! A little crossover-post between Hypmic and Paradox Live! I like it!!

⋆Samatoki seems pretty aggressive and violent, but he’s actually a man of worth, since he has such strong values, like family and loyalty.

⋆He also swore to never raise a hand on a woman! So.. respect for him! AW.

⋆Since he smokes tobacco a lot, I imagine you both hanging out together with his car and, after an evening spent having dinner in a restaurant, you’d be there, looking at the Yokohama’s sea at the port.

⋆There would be a slight wind and he’d be so gentle to give you his jacket.

⋆”You better cover yourself, or you’ll catch a cold..”, he’d say, almost whispering to your ear, putting his jacket on your shoulders, hugging you from behind and still holding a cigarette between his lips.

⋆You’d hold his jacket on your shoulders and look at him, who’d lean against his car, looking at the moon’s reflection on the sea.

⋆”I’ve told you a lot of times to stop smoking, Samatoki...”

⋆You’d walk towards him. The echo of your shoes against the ground in that windy night.

⋆”You’ll have serious health problems if you keep smoking..”

⋆That’s when he’d look at you with his piercing red eyes, then he’d blow a cloud of smoke and chuckle.

⋆”Make me stop, then..”

⋆You’d know what to do.

⋆Immediately you’d start kissing his neck, on tiptoe. You’d close your eyes, smelling his scent, trying to hold him as close to you as possible. You’d caress his hair with your left hand and his cheek with your right one.

⋆It’s useless to say that that cigarette would fall from Samatoki’s hand. He’d be surely surprised at first. Did you really take what he said seriously?! Seriously, girl, what the hell?!

⋆He can easily be provoked, so I headcanon him being not able to control himself in these cases.

⋆He’d surely return your love and, on the way home, he’d look at his car’s mirror and finally see his own neck full of marks.

⋆Then he’d take a look at you, being asleep sitting on the passenger seat beside him.

⋆He’d smile softly.

⋆”You’ll drive me crazy soon... 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽, 𝔂/𝓷…?”

#paradox live #paradox live x reader #paradox live headcanon #paradox live headcanons #paradox live gokuluck #gokuluck #shion kaida #paradox live cozmez #cozmez #nayuta yatonokami #hypmic #hypmic x reader #hypmic headcanons #hypmic headcanon #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic samatoki #samatoki x reader #samatoki aohitsugi

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veinsandknuckles · 2 years

Text

Reflect what you are, pt 2

Abed Nadir/Autistic f!Reader. In love and at a loss, Abed turns to self professed woman-expert Jeff Winger for advice with mixed results. Part 1 Rated: pg Warnings: casual ableism, casual sexism, autistic stereotypes, reference to the The Big Bang Theory. If I’ve missed anything, let me know. This fic hasn’t been BETA’d. As a disclaimer, I’ll say upfront that the reader insert’s experiences with and outward signs of autism are based on my own. It’s always impossible to write a reader insert neutrally enough to be projected onto by everyone and I think that’s especially true when portraying a disability that is at once so specific and so varied. ——–

“...I think I’m in love.”

“Really.” Jeff didn’t look up from his phone.

Abed wasn’t sure why he’d picked Jeff as the right person to talk to. Perhaps it was just because Jeff had lingered in the study room after their last session, leaving them alone in the room, and if Abed didn’t tell someone, anyone, he might literally explode. “Yes. Definitely. I show all the classic signs.”

Jeff didn’t respond. Had his sarcastic, disinterested tone been more pointed than usual? It was hard to tell.

“Did you already know I’m in love?”

“With what’s-her-name, your new study buddy?” Jeff gave Abed a look. “Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

“Oh.” Abed tapped his pen against the table and thought this over. “Do I talk about her a lot?”

“Not really, but we know you. It’s pretty suspicious if you take an interest in anyone who isn’t a fictional character.” Jeff put his phone down and leaned his elbows on the table. “Does this mean you’ve finally come to me for dating advice? It’s about time.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t need advice...”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Because women throw themselves at you, for some reason.” He sounded resentful. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And usually I don’t really care either way.” Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach if he wanted Jeff’s help, but it was the truth. “I mean, the attention is nice, but it’s not important.”

“Well, if you’re ‘in love’” (here, Jeff made so many air quotes he threatened to sprain a finger) “that’s a whole different story.”

“Yeah. I’d be pretty upset if she didn’t like me back.”

“I’m sure. So what have you tried so far?”

“Hm.” What had he tried? Shockingly little, now that he came to think about it. “I’ve talked to her a little. We’re working on a project together for class. Oh, and yesterday I threatened to beat a guy up for disrespecting her.”

There was a long pause. “See, this is why you should come to me for inspiration instead of turning to the movies.”

“Yeah, but it was warranted. He’s a bully.”

“Yeah, but still. I never figured you’d go for the caveman approach.”

Abed shrugged. “I don’t really have an approach.”

“Yeah, we established that. So what’s this girl like?”

“I think she’s autistic.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and his mouth seemed to twitch. He didn’t make a face, but it seemed to take him some effort not to make a face. What was he trying to hide? Surprise? A lack of surprise? Amusement? Ridicule? Probably not envy, but what did Jeff know?

“Abed, that’s not a very nice way to sum up a person. We taught you better than that.”

Abed had it on pretty good authority that Jeff had pointed him out to strangers as ‘the robot’ and ‘just don’t call him Sheldon’ several times just this month, but for some reason, people tended to get uncomfortable if the spade joined in and also started calling itself a spade.

“Okay, this is clearly a sensitive issue for you. If I tell you she’s also beautiful and funny and attentive and kind and clever and beautiful, does that make you feel better?”

“That’s a pretty long list.” Jeff smiled. “Beautiful made it in twice, huh?”

It was a fair summary as far as Abed was concerned, repetition included, but Jeff needed to be brought down a peg or two.“I thought that would reassure you.”

Jeff stopped smiling. “Whatever. So if you care so much about her supposed personality, what do you guys actually have in common? Apart from, you know. The A word.”

“I’m not sure. We both pay attention in class, so we already have some similar interests.”

“Okay, so get her talking about those. Women love it when you pretend to care about their dumb opinions.”

Abed was very much convinced that this was not an uniquely female trait and he knew that if he chose to make a rebuttal, Jeff himself would make for an excellent exhibit A. But Jeff depended on his 90’s stand up comedian understanding of gender roles and it would be unfair to take that comfort away from him. Instead, he chose diplomacy. “If she has dumb opinions, I’ll lose interest. Even if she’s beautiful twice.”

“Yeah, you’re weird like that.”

“But I get shy around her, and I’m not used to being shy. I try to plan our conversations in advance, but then when I talk to her I forget everything I was going to say... And I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.”

“You’re overthinking this. Just go up to her and talk, ask more questions than you give answers and if she smiles and laughs at your jokes...” Jeff thought about it, then shook his head. “Huh. Yeah, I see the problem. You still can’t really read anyone. Even I can’t read you and I’m a master manipulator who’s known you for years. If she’s like you...” He seemed at a loss for words. “Don’t you have, like, a secret language or something? Bleep, bloop, Star Trek good?”

How should Abed know? It wasn’t like he’d been ushered into a secret society or subscribed to the local autism mailing list. Maybe there actually was a club and he just hadn’t been invited - that would be a fun, ironic twist. “Not one I know of.” The trekkie accusation he filed away for a later argument.

“Alright. So, when she’s happy or annoyed or on the rag, can you even tell?”

“I think so.”

Abed worried that Jeff misinterpreted the reason for his interest. He couldn’t tell if Jeff wanted to over or under emphasise the autism part, but he could tell Jeff didn’t get it. Sure, it was exciting to meet someone who functioned the way he did, but not because he expected or even wanted you to be a copy of himself. He wasn’t looking for the comedy staple where the weirdo, slash robot, slash dog’s love interest was played by the same actor, slash costume, slash dog in a wig or a pink bow. He was just as desperate to explore all your differences as your possible similarities, and the disability thing was just a small part of that. And he’d underplayed the “beautiful” part, but your mind really was not the only thing he wanted to explore. After all, you’d already turned his head months before he’d realised what you shared.

It dawned on Abed that he really would be just as excited to talk to you if the topics you chose made no sense to him - whatever you said would interest him, simply because you were the one talking. And if he ever accidentally tuned you out, he’d be happy just to watch your lips move.

How could he even begin to explain all of this? Or any of it? If Jeff had ever felt the same way, he would never admit to it.

“She emotes a lot.” By Abed’s standards, anyway. “I don’t think most people can really tell she’s autistic.”

“Why are you so fixated on this?”

“Well, in this case, I mean I think she’s more of a people person than I am. She blends in better than I do and that would take a lot of practice.” He paused. “I never really made friends before I got to Greendale, but...”

“You’re worried you might have some competition?”

Abed shook his head. If anything, competition would be reassuring. But why? “I don’t want her to like me because she has no other option. I want her to choose me.” If that was true, why did admitting it make his stomach feel so cold? Abed swallowed and voiced a fear he hadn’t even been conscious of before. “I’m worried I might be too weird for her.”

Now Jeff made a face even Abed could recognise, if only because he’d seen it so often over the years. It was a face of pained, awkward pity.

Abed was seriously starting to regret being so honest, especially with someone who clearly still expected him to be more ashamed of himself than he really was.

But Jeff surprised him and his expression changed gradually into a less familiar smile. “Yeah... I think we all feel like that sometimes. I mean, not me, obviously.” Abed nodded and Jeff continued. “I hate to be a cliché, but if you absolutely have to be in love, I really think you should just try to be yourself. If she doesn’t like you, it’s better you rip the band-aid off quickly.” He reached out as if to give Abed a pat on the shoulder but seemed to think better of it and let his hand fall. “Who knows, she might like you better for being a bit weird - I know I get sick of hanging out with normal people all the time. Whatever that means.”

Abed nodded. Especially the band-aid argument appealed to him. Right now he felt that if he didn’t either get to touch you or let go of this obsession within the week, he’d just wither up and die. Wow. He might actually have to resort to a weekend of 80’s rom coms, either to look for inspiration for some big dramatic gesture of his own, or to do what most people probably did when they watched rom coms - daydream about his own crush and imagine you and him up there on the screen instead, kissing and holding on to each other for dear life while the music swelled and the rain pored. This was so much worse than he’d thought.

#abed nadir #abed nadir x reader #abed nadir imagines #abed nadir imagine #community #community fanfiction #my fics #abed nadir fanfic #still can't promise I'll finish or even continue this fic because I'm usually swamped these days #but since this part was practically finished I figured I'd dust it off and post it

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