#Vernissage my Heart

[bibusaurier]

❝ be aware 👽 ❞

➤ januar 2019

#hallo #bilderbuch #zeitmagazin #vernissage my heart #mea culpa #maurice ernst #michael krammer #peter horazdovsky #philip scheibl #first post

[gfcheol]

late blooming pt1 | j. wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader

genre: slow burn, sugar daddy au, smut in later chapters

word count: 5.9k

tags: struggling artist!reader, trust fund kid!wonwoo, mutual pining, emotional constipation, slow burn, eventual smut (in later chapters oops), photographer!mingyu, best friend!jeonghan, swearing

taglist: @bangchanbabygirlx

"You made it!", Mingyu beamed at you, his smile so radiant, it could probably illuminate the whole city if he tried. Even though he towered over most of his guests, you were almost sure that he was standing on the tip of his toes, trying to make you out in the sea of people. You giggled, his enthusiasm easily rubbing off on you, as you matched his gleeful expression.

Truth be told, you weren't expecting that warm of a welcome, when you got the invite to your college buddy's first Vernissage. 'Pieces of me' - read the title, according to the flyer that is. A collection of photographs that Mingyu took over the years, working as a freelance artist. There was a small part of you, bitter and envious, trying to convince yourself that this was the result of luck and money. But you remembered, even back in your college days, the passion ablaze in Mingyu's eyes when he wanted to get the right angle or capture a moment deserving to be of film. Yes, if you liked it or not, some people were simply blessed with talent, beauty and success.

"Gyu!", you squealed as his hands pulled you into a crushing hug, face pressed against his muscular chest. Jesus Christ, had he gotten even bigger?

"I wasn't sure you'd come", his arms tightened around you, as though he was trying to stop you from vanishing again. "You never really responded to the invite..."

Or his other messages. He didn't have to actually voice it out, but you were very well aware of the hurt you caused by going ghost on him, since you two graduated college.

A pang of guilt shot through you, freeing yourself from his bearhug. "Ah, I didn't know if you'd... want me here? I don't know, it's silly", your smile wavered, nervously toying with the complimentary glass of champagne, they'd offered you at the entrance. How you wished, you'd taken more than a sip from your bubbly poison.

"You're right", he said, hand squeezing your shoulder. "You are being silly! I'm always happy to see you, no reason to doubt that."

The sincerity bleeding off his words tore on you, cracks deepening in your happy, little facade as you felt emotions well up, you weren't really ready to show. The past few years had been tough on you. The constant rejection as an artist, the financial struggle that came with it, the myriad of men so ready to break your heart... It seemed difficult to stay positive in such circumstances, resorting to you isolating yourself from those more successful and happier than you. The constant reminder and comparison would have ruined you, you'd told yourself half-heartedly, everytime you saw Mingyu's invites to dinners or birthday parties. Egoism at its absolute worst.

You cleared your throat - this was hardly the time or place to dwell on your own shortcomings. You'd have enough time to reflect on that, in the cozy confines of your apartment.

Another squeeze, this one firmer. Forcing yourself out of your gloomy thought prison, you blinked a few times. "Fuck, sorry- I was kinda zoning out, what did you say?"

Mingyu's grin widened at that. "You really haven't changed, have you?'

"Oh my fucking- Shut up!", you giggled, rolling your eyes. "Can't blame me for getting emotional over Mister Artist over here achieving the dream."

Your compliment, having its intended effect, went straight to his head, a pretty blush blooming on his cheeks. He had always been offensively sweet and handsome at that as well. It felt good to see how none of that got lost over the years. "It's pretty crazy, right?"

"Nah", you followed his gaze as he looked around the spacious hall, darting from people to photographs. His brows furrowed and you swore you could see his eyes well up with heavy tears. "You're talented, Gyu! Always been! Let yourself enjoy the moment."

"Are you trying to make me cry? Because it's kinda working."

The motion of leaning against his side felt too familiar to resist it, the long years spent apart suddenly forgotten. Your own gentle giant. You felt your heart ache. "C'mon, go mingle a bit! All these fancy people came to see you, I'm not gonna hog all of your attention."

A sigh. "Let's catch up later, okay?", he tore himself from you with surprising difficulty, his eyes oozing with all the feelings of the moment, before he disappeared back into the crowd. Well, as well as he could being the giant that he was.

Taking another sip from your glass, you willed away the urge to hide away in the bathroom. Icky feelings be damned, you're not going to let your anxiety ruin this for your friend. Or was it former friend? You'd still have to clarify that with him, once you'd get the chance to catch up and apologize for being the worst person imaginable.

The photographs adorning the walls of the hall were breath-taking - Really, hardly a surprise for anyone knowing the artist. The motives on them might vary - Some of them bursting with warm colors, others melancholic black and white pieces - but you could recognize Mingyu in all of them. You could picture him so clearly behind the lense in some of them. Lips pursed as he'd play with the lighting, until he'd groan out in frustration, strings of whines escaping him. You couldn't help but giggle at the mental image you conjured up.

"And here I was thinking, this piece was probably meant to be wistful", a voice behind you declared.

"Interesting", you commented, copying the serious tone of the still faceless stranger. "I would have gone with 'serene', personally. Not all landscapes are supposed to invoke a sense of sadness, you know."

"Not even rainy, grey ones? Art teachers must have it all wrong." The mystery man was teasing, you could tell, but your pride simply demanded you not to give in. Biting your lip to suppress a smile, you tilted your head to the side, still mustering the photograph in front of you. "If you think a piece of art being devoid of color is enough to make it melancholic, I feel like you need to broaden your horizons."

You turned towards him to present him with a cocky smirk, yet the sight of him caught you off guard, making you halt in your tracks. He was nowhere near the pompous, old fart that you'd expected him to be. Quite the contrary - He must have been around your age, rather tall, sharp eyes adorned with golden rimmed glasses that sat on his nose bridge. There was an air around him you couldn't quite place. Maybe it was confidence - Or rather indifference? He looked at you with no hint of emotion, yet there was an intensity in his expression that made your brows furrow in silent question. Did you know him? Was he an old acquaintance from school? Work maybe? His face seemed so very familiar...

"I'm sorry, have we-"

"No, I don't think we've had the pleasure yet", he was quick to cut you off, eyes still very much set on you. "Y/N, right?"

Momentarily taken aback by his curt behavior, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, the alcohol in your system lending you some bite. "Very charming and not at all creepy", you replied, keeping your tone cold.

The stranger finally broke into a faint smile, your attitude seemingly amusing him, much to your dismay. "It wasn't much of a question", he said. "Mingyu mentioned you."

That only raised more questions within your mind. Yet your heart warmed at the thought of your college friend still talking about you after all these years. Your demeanor softened, feeling heat travel to your ears. "He did?", your voice rang quiet, even to your own ears. "You two are friends?"

Hesitantly, he gave you a slow nod, as if to choose his next words with extra care. "Why would that be so surprising?"

"It isn't...? I just don't know- I thought, we've established we don't know each other? Or am I being like- really inconsiderate right now?", you wrecked your brain, digging for any hint of information about the mystery man. Yet your mind was blank, the mix of alcohol and the whirlwind of emotions making your mind feel hazy.

Your response earned you a wary look, his eyes mustering you with a strange sense of incredulousness, adjusting his glasses on his nose. The strange air of superiority over you didn't help to soothe your ruffled feathers, biting your tongue to refrain from any too rude remark. When he still didn't reply anything, you huffed, patience wearing thin. "Listen, I'm not here to be catty, so don't make this too hard for me."

"Wonwoo", he extended his hand for you, though he still sounded somewhat careful with his introduction. Feeling petty, you eyed his hand with a sceptical raise of your brow, before shaking his hand. "You're a fellow artist."

It wasn't framed like a question, but you still found yourself contemplating the correct response. Did you view yourself as a creative medium that still creates whenever it's possible for you? Absolutely. Did you attend the same college as Mingyu? That's a fact. Would you be ridiculed if you answered affirmatively, only to admit your primary source of income is your cashier job at the convenience store down your street? No doubt about that either.

Avoiding his ever so observant eyes, you offered a shrug. "Something like that, yeah."

He must have sensed your hesitation, directing his attention away from you, and back to the artwork, a hum on his lips. You let yourself muster him more closely - His features were sharp, something intimidating in his sharp cheekbones and clean cut style. Still, you couldn't deny his good looks. Of course, you'd act like a bitch to the first hot guy approaching you in the longest time. You groaned inwardly.

"Are you one too? An artist I mean." His lips quirked up, as if the question itself seemed absolutely preposterous. "Or are you here for our Picasso?"

"Really - 'Picasso'? I would have gone with Monet - Less obvious choice"

A roll of your eyes was enough to stop his teasing, a smirk plastered on his lips. Handsome or not, the urge to dump the rest of your champagne on his pants seemed to grow by the second. "Mingyu invited me."

You hummed in response before he continued. "You're probably familiar with how persistent he can be."

"Not big on crowds then?", you asked, already sympathizing with Mr Wonwoo's very obvious struggle to socialize. "I get it, I'm not a fan either."

"Hm, yes. One could say that. I try to avoid them, at least." He seemed tense replying to you, jaw clenched as he shifted from one foot to the other. A vague feeling of guilt sank in your chest. Oh, this interaction was just getting better and better. Maybe if you were lucky enough, you'd suffer a spontaneous a heart attack and you could free this poor guy from your clumsy conversation.

"It's worth it though", you decided to say, your edges softening all at once, at the mention of your mutual friend. "Just to see him be all smiley and happy. He deserves it, I'm so proud of him."

There was something so inherently vulnerable about sharing fondness for the same person, you mused, even among strangers. Pride and genuine happiness beamed in your chest, and for a heartbeat you felt as bright and happy as Mingyu. "I've been telling him the same thing for months now, but it almost seems like he was willing to believe you more than me."

If he was agitated, he did a great job hiding that. His words were free of malice, merely curiosity peeking its head through some syllables. Yet all you could do is stare dumbly. "Should I be flattered or worried, knowing that you were just lurking in some corner, watching us? Very James Bond villain of you."

"I'd rather see you flattered than anything", the question left him unfazed, shame nowhere in sight. You pouted at the lack of effect your words had on him. In the short while you had gotten to know Wonwoo Last-Name-Unknown, he managed to coax shame, annoyance, and now, a third emotion (one that made your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up) out of you. What a terrible man he proved himself to be, not even possessing the courtesy to pretend.

From the corner of your vision, you saw his smirk deepen, before asking you, "Would it be terribly forward to ask for your number?"

"It would be", you decided, without further thought to his question, suppressing your smile with effort. "But I'm quick to forgive the faux pas."

His phone felt foreign in your hands, as he produced it from seemingly out of nowhere, pressing his thumb to the side, black screen lighting up. To your disappointment, you noticed the default homescreen, the brightness taunting any hope you had to gain insight into his character. Even with a name to his chiselled features, your Mystery Man seemed intent on remaining a stranger to you. His facade so clean, it was hard not to pay mind to the eerie feeling creeping up your spine. A puzzle waiting to be solved, you thought to yourself.

His smile was surprisingly shy, after you'd typed in both name and number into his contacts, fingertips brushing against you a bit too long, as you handed him his phone. "We'll stay in touch." And once again - His tone left no room for argument.

"Okay, boss", you snorted at his all too formal goodbye, granting him one last smile, before turning on your heel, heading into another direction. It felt almost impossible to force the wave of giddiness down your throat, reminding yourself that you don't, in fact, know this guy. You'd grant him the honour of giggles and shy glances, once he'd actually take you out on a date. Or well, if he'd actually take you out.

Mingyu didn't seem all too disappointed, when you'd told him that you would head home for the day, too occupied entertaining both, friends and art lovers. A wave of nostalgia washed over you briefly. Or was it regret? It was hard to tell.

"Text me, okay?", he said with puppy dog eyes. "Promise!"

"Cross my heart and hope to die- I promise", you grinned in return. "Have fun, Monet."

And you could swear, that for a second, you heard a, now familiar, deep voice chuckle in delight. You tried to disregard your glowing cheeks, as you slipped through the glass door, exiting the building.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blue must have always been your favourite color to work with.

Even during your middle school years, you'd found the depth of it soothing. Dark, ominous waves that house secrets no one will ever know. Or in contrast, the sky on a sunny day, assuring you that this, will surely be your day. So you'd picked up your crayons, your paint or your ballpoint pen and you drew, knowing that if you didn't bring the emotion you held onto paper, they'd be lost forever.

Your mother had called it, your "Blue Period". Strange, considering you had yet to move on to a different color. But who knew? Perhaps you'd grow tired of the depths and the levity, craving intense red or regal purple in your life instead. Perhaps...

Perhaps one day, when the want to venture out will drown out comfort and safety. Until then, you'd be content with blue.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Your chest was heaving up and down as you leaned against the doorframe of your apartment, feeling your heartbeat drum against your skull. "Fuck me", you panted.

"Yeah, that's what jogging does to someone", Jeonghan smirks, very happy with himself, while eyeing your sweaty form. Despite it being past noon, he was still in his PJs, the plaid ones that you'd gifted him last year to his birthday, sporting a self satisfied expression on his delicate features.

You recalled the first time you'd met him. Gyu had left you to your own devices at some frat party, letting you stroll around to either cause mayhem or make new friends. At the time, you'd thought Jeonghan was the most angelic looking guy, you'd ever laid your eyes upon in your life, smiling at you with half lidded eyes, red solo cup in hand. That impression quickly changed, his catty remarks ("And you believed what Joshua told you, Channie? That's so brave of you.") having sparked a whole fist fight amongst the surrounding guys - The reason? He'd wanted an excuse to go home unnoticed.

"Not all of us wanna- oh shit-", you gulped for air, lungs stinging in protest, sweat dripping from your hairline, down to your brow. You could already hear the shower calling to you. "-have the constitution of an old lady, Hannie."

"I'm so proud of you for fighting against your old lady nature then."

Groaning at his retort, you pushed past him into your - suspiciously quiet - shared apartment. Reaching for the zipper of your jacket, you asked, "Didn't you mention that - Layla? Mary? - Wanted to come over this weekend?"

A shrug on his side, pushing the front door closed with a shove of his hips. "Layla", Jeonghan clarified. "Mary was the one from the Christmas party two months ago. Keep up, will you."

"Right, yeah. My bad."

"And yeah... but no. No." His eyes were cast down, a sudden interest in the pattern of the old floorboards, lips pressed into a fine line.

There was no need to explain any further than the look on his face. Layla had been sweet from what you remembered. Maybe even one of your favourites in the long line of girls, he'd introduced you to in the past year or so. "Shit, I'm sorry, Hannie. You okay?"

A non committal shrug. "Oh well, what can you do."

Sometimes you found yourself envying Jeonghan's tumultuous love life. No matter how fun the conversations or how good the sex was, he always put himself first. Because why spend too much time agonizing over someone who yearns for fundamentally different things in life? I'm not one to waste a girl's time, Jeonghan had told you after a particular rough breakup. At the very most, he found his pride wounded - But he always managed to bounce back regardless.

Your love life stood in stark contrast to his.

"Before I forget", Jeonghan shuffled next to you, head pointing to your phone on the kitchen counter. "Ya got a missed call - If it's my sister again, asking about her computer, tell her to shoo."

Rolling your eyes, you huffed out a breathless laugh, slipping your jacket off your shoulders as you made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed your blinking phone, notifying you of 'two missed calls' in the last hour. "Why do I have to be the middle man between you guys?", you frowned at the unknown number glaring at you. "Who the fuck..."

Quick to change the subject, Jeonghan hopped onto the corner, peaking over your shoulder. "Oooo, is someone in trouble?", he teased, practically glowing at the opportunity for mischief. "Or is it the guy from Mingyu's thing? Did you give him your number or did he-"

"Oh! I completely forgot- Oh fuck, what if it's him?" It wasn't that he'd actually slipped your mind after your encounter, you were just convinced that after a week - nine days to be exact - that'd be a clear indicator of his lack of interest. The sting of rejection would definitely hurt less by trying to erase him from your memory. "Should I text him? Call back? What if it isn't even him? Oh my god, Hannie! What the fuck should I do?"

Relishing in your flustered state, your roommate gloated. "Text back. If it's actually him, then he has some nerve calling after two weeks of radio silence. Bad move."

"It hasn't even been two weeks."

"So?" Jeonghan raised his brows, tilting his head to the side. "And let him explain himself, that could be funny."

Getting an explanation did sound rather tempting. But wouldn't that seem too much? You hadn't told Mingyu about Wonwoo hitting on you, moreso focused on praising his artworks and all the hard work he put into the Vernissage. So, you were still just as clueless about him as you'd been the day you met him.

Undeniably, there was something exciting about it all. The only thing that served as a connection between you being a mutual friend, but other than that? You were still completely oblivious about him - what he did as a job, where he's from, what his last name is. Your nerves tingled at the thrill of it, all previous exhaustion shed, teeth sinking into the flesh of your cheeks.

"I'd offer to call him instead, but I have a feeling he'll be able to tell it's not you on the other end of the line."

You started laughing at the thought alone, shoving him playfully. "I'm having a crisis, stop being funny!"

A few of Han's ex girlfriends, and even some of your own ex flings, had very readily complained about the bond you shared with each other. You weren't one to blame them for assuming - even though they couldn't be more wrong. There had never even a figment of a moment, where you even considered starting a romantic connection. Jeonghan wasn't your type and you weren't his either, no doubt about that.

"No, you know what? Fuck it", you sighed, your roommate hollering in response, celebrating your newfound courage. Without wasting any more thought, you pressed on the phone number, thumbs forming a quick sentence.

[y/n - 13:11] hi, sorry who is this?

Glancing over your shoulder to the text you'd typed out, Jeonghan could barely contain a snort. "Aw, I was hoping you'd call."

"Next time I'll just force you to imitate-", your eyes went wide as the screen turned black, phone buzzing in your hand. With one last panicked glance at a way too giddy friend, you pressed 'accept' with sweaty fingers.

"Hello, y/n speaking."

"Ah- Hi. This is Wonwoo", the vaguely familiar timber of his voice, almost made you gasp out in delight, heart already aching from all the anxiety and delight. Upon your reaction, Han shuffled even closer towards you, set on listening in on your conversation. "Mingyu's friend?", Wonwoo added after some brief silence.

"Yeah! Hi, yeah I remember! I was kinda being stupid and and left my phone, while I was out..." You hated how nervous you sounded, even to your own ears, looking for excuses when he was the one who kept you waiting. Your roommate seemed to share the sentiment, his glare way too reminiscent of a teacher scolding his student for a stupid question.

"No, please. It's...", he trailed off. "Actually, can you give me moment? I'll be right with you." The other line went quiet for a moment, aside from the sound of papers rustling. Was he at work? What kind of office work might he be doing? If he was yet another finance bro, you'd lose the number as soon as possible. You heard a soft voice mumble something next to your Mystery Man, asking him - or rather a certain 'Mr Jeon'- to sign some document.

Next to you, Jeonghan's head snapped toward you in an instance, eyes wide as he mouthed to you 'Jeon Wonwoo?' in absolute shock. Confusion was plastered all across your face, nodding your head to the unspoken question. "What?", you asked, keeping your voice barely above a whisper. Instead of providing you an answer, he pulled out his own phone, thumbs furiously typing away into the Google search bar.

"Hi again. So sorry, I'm still at the office", you almost jumped at Wonwoo's voice, sounding oh so husky and tired so close to your ear.

The smile tugging on your lips was involuntary, yet still very evident. "No worries."

He cleared his throat. "I know it's been a while, but I was wondering-", Jeonghan shoved his phone into your face, making you blink. Oh. Oh. His device displayed a very professional looking photograph of the same handsome looking man you'd met at Mingyu's Vernissage - hair just as dark, same glasses on his nose. Though what caught your eye next was the headline above his head, reading in big bold letters 'Jeon Wonwoo's rise to success! Son of Billionaire Dynasty shares his Secrets'. You felt the blood drain from your face, thoughts spinning a thousand miles an hour as you tried to process what you've read without a total mental breakdown. This couldn't be real, right? This must be some sick and twisted joke Hannie was playing on you to get back at you for something, you'd already forgotten anyway. There was no way that-

"Y/N?", you snapped back into reality, mouth feeling dryer than ever. "Still there? Should I call back another time?"

"Mhm, yeah!", you squeaked. "M- My roommate is just being annoying - What were you saying?"

Han's shock warped into sheer amusement, body shaking with the laughter he tried to muffle by pressing his palm against his mouth. You, on the other hand, felt like you were on the verge of a very serious mental breakdown. "I said, I'd like to take you out for a coffee", he repeated himself again. "I have a proposal, I'd like to talk to you about."

'A proposal?' Your eyes shot back to your friend, as if he'd magically know the details to Wonwoo's request. "Yeah, I- Sure", you willed your voice to stay as steady as possible, trying to ignore the slight waver in tone.

"Can you do today at five? I'll text you the details, of course." You couldn't stand how casual he sounded, compared to you. Was this a regular thing for him? Picking up women left and right? Paying them to hook up with him? Oh god, was he going to pay you to hook up with him? Was he one of those rich perverts, trying to indulge in some weird, funky kinks with no name people like you? You felt like crying.

"C- can we do six? I'm all sweaty", cringing at your own statement, you winced. "... From the workout. I was working out. If you couldn't tell."

And despite all the worries and anxiety, your heart still leapt, when you heard him chuckle into his phone, heat radiating off your face. "I'll choose to believe you for now. Should we do dinner instead?"

"Sounds great!" Jeonghan grabbed your shoulder, almost vibrating with joy.

"I'll text you the details - See you there?"

"Yep! Bye!" With the press of a shaky finger, you hung up.

The silence that followed was deafening, you and your friend staring at each other as though the other had grown a second head. Your nerves felt fried just from the phone conversation alone, your mind overwhelmed with every little emotion that had passed through you. Physical exhaustion had nothing on the numb feeling bubbling in the pit of your stomach. "Fuck", Jeonghan was the first to speak, his smile almost manic. "I can't believe, you're going to become a Sugar Baby."

"I'm going to die, Hannie! Die! What the fuck?! Why did I agree to this?!" Your body slumped into the kitchen counter, pressing your damp forehead against the cool granite.

"Because you're a smart independent lady, who knows an opportunity when she sees one", You could practically hear the smile in his voice. "Now get dolled up, babe, if you're lucky we don't have to pay rent anymore."

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Stiff fingers clutched the cool metal of your spoon, nervously shifting in your seat. Your lipgloss coated lips stretching into a shy smile, whenever you felt Wonwoo's eyes linger on you a second too long. This means nothing, you tried to remind yourself, ignoring the searing in your chest.

Jeonghan had tried his very best to convince you to go all on out with your outfit and makeup choices. And while you understood his motivation, you'd known how cheap you'd feel by trying to look fuckable enough for your date to pay for you. Date... If that is, what you could call it. "Mingyu's told me a lot about you", he said

"You asked him about me?" You noticed his ears turn a shade of pink as he shook his head, smiling. "You came up naturally."

Your shoulders tensed up, glancing downward to avoid any scrutiny or judgement. By all means, it shouldn't come to you as a surprise that Mingyu had mentioned you. He had seemed quite excited to see you attend his event, his enthusiasm a bright beacon of joy. You had no right to feel ashamed - or to hope Wonwoo didn't think any less of you for ghosting your mutual friend for years for some petty, personal feelings. But still, there was growing discomfort - Or was it shame? - within you that was only hard to ignore.

"Well? Do I need to plan his very brutal murder or send him a thank you letter?", you joked half heartedly.

That earned you yet another smile. You could really get used to the sight. "He told me about your art, actually. Showed me a few of your paintings too."

Your spoon hit the the edge of your plate with a loud 'clank', cheeks feeling way too hot as you gawked at him. "M- My paintings?" Whatever you'd expected to hear him say tonight, commenting on your artwork had somehow completely eluded your imagination. Instead, a myriad of horrors had played non-stop in your mind, doing its best to convince you, that this evening would either end with you murdered or, even worse, heartbroken.

"Come on, you're looking at me like I just told you pigs could fly", Wonwoo chuckled, both his tone and his gaze soft. "I liked them quite a lot."

"Oh", you muttered. "Thank you. I just... didn't expect him to mention my art."

"Artists are quick to recognize each other, I've found." Your eyes were fixed on his face then, a knowing smirk playing on the edge of his lips, as he shoveled another bite of his steak into his mouth. The compliment reached your heart first, engulfing you in a warm ray of light, while you could only nod in response. An insufficient form of gratitude, though Wonwoo didn't seem to mind. "How come you're so sassy and confident but turn shy at any genuine compliment?"

"I just don't respond well to cocky flirting. Bad habit, I guess?", you decided to play bold, having grown tired of the timid anxiety plaguing you.

But your partner seemed to be familiar with that game, your defiance only causing him to deepen his smirk. "Bad habits do die hard."

Raising your glass to your lips to mask your smile, you let him have his little moment of victory. Even if short lived. The back and forth was invigorating for sure - A welcome change, compared to all the boring dates you'd been on with men you hadn't even liked in the first place. You exhaled through your nose at the reminder alone. "But back on topic", Wonwoo adjusted his glasses. "Am I correct in assuming, you're not a full time artist?"

The wine tasted bitter to your tongue, making it hard to swallow it down. "Hm- No, unfortunately not."

"I see", he hummed. "I don't know if Mingyu's mentioned my line of work..."

This wasn't a line of questions you'd expected on a date. Business proposal? Your head felt too heavy on your shoulders, as your fingers ran over the neckline of your too tight dress. "Hannie- I mean um. My roommate told me."

Something dark flashed in his eyes, before he continued on. "Then you must also be aware of my financial status."

You nodded. "I am, yeah."

"Good. Spares me all the explaining", he joked, without much humor. "I'd like to sponsor you."

Your shoulders slumped, fingers, still toying with the fabric of your dress, going stiff all of a sudden. This wasn't just the wine talking, was it? "Oh."

This was a once in your life time opportunity, Jeonghan would never hear the end of it. This was everything you had spent nights crying over, thinking life was just so unfair. This could be everything to you. But then, why was it, that you felt like submerging your head in water, until you'd stop breathing? You were supposed to to be happier than this. Thankful too. Weren't you?

"Shit- I'm sorry, sponsor me?", you leaned toward Wonwoo, scanning for any trace of mockery or jest in his expression. "I don't wanna seem unappreciative but- You really want to sponsor me? There's a catch, right? There has to be."

Crossing his long legs, he didn't seem to shy away from your curiosity, not one to be intimidated easily. It did make sense - A business man, confronted with cutthroat competition on a daily, wouldn't really feel intimidated by some nervous no-name artist. The image of him posing on the cover of some important magazine surfaced in your mind again. "Ah, it's probably wiser to not trust offers like this at first, I can't blame you," He leaned forward in his seat. "My motivation's simple. I think you have great potential - You're a pretty lady with a lot of talent. I'd like to see you taken care of."

"Like some kind of sugar daddy?", the realization of your question hit you like a truck. your face feeling heated as you pressed your lips together, as though you could stop yourself from further embarrassment by physically silencing yourself.

Wonwoo, to your luck, merely grinned at the questions. "I mean- if you'd like that to be my official title, we can arrange that."

"Stop making fun of me!", you huffed with a pout on your lips, giggles threatening to burst past your lips. "Or- Are you not joking? Is this like a Shades of Grey fetish thing?"

"Listen", his voice fell into a hushed tone, fixing you with his gaze alone. "I'd like to spend more time with you - Doesn't mean that I'll give you a couple hundred everytime you flash me."

Spend more time with you? It felt unnecessarily difficult to think straight with his face being so close to your own, the dark brown in his eyes so alluring and warm. Gnawing on the inside of your cheeks, you furrowed your brows. It'd be a lie to say, you wouldn't like you two to grow closer. Why hope for a relationship, when this was the more sensible - more lucrative - way for you? No hurt feelings and no more financial struggles. Why hesitate? Jeonghan would kill you, if he were aware that you had any doubts about the deal. "So... You'd pay me to spend time with you? And to paint?"

"I'm not going to force you to spend time with me, if that's your question."

"No, I mean", it would prove to be an impossible task not to flush as you continued on, "This is something... not physical then? A business deal, only?"

And for the first time this evening, it was you that rendered Wonwoo speechless as he paused, his smirk slowly fading away. Instead of the self assured art snob and business man you've come to know, he appeared almost timid, insecure even, his ears blooming a pretty shade of pink. "Deals are... less complicated", his voice trailed off, gaze unfocused, sipping on his wine. "But no, this can be whatever you'd like it to be. Whatever you're comfortable with. I'd merely want to support you, if you allow me."

He was right, you knew that he was. Businesses and contracts might be a language you weren't acquainted with, but you knew the heartache of failed relationships all too well. And even if Wonwoo apparently wasn't one to kiss and tell, he seemed to be no stranger to that pain. The quiet chatter of the restaurant felt so distant in this moment. His fingers felt warm as his pinky brushed against your own, his eyes searching yours. "What do you say?", he asked, both his hands and his tone so very careful.

This was supposed to be easier, why did the words taste so heavy in your mouth? A reluctant smile, but bright nontheless. "I'd like that."

His eyes lit up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." What could go wrong?

#wonwoo x reader #wonu x reader #svt x reader #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #wonu smut #wonu fluff #listen ik this is neither fluff nor smut really i just have no idea how to tag this one #svt smut #seventeen x reader

[avas-poltergeist]

#38 and #8!

8. Vernissage by Pisse

Someone told me this got popular on Tik Tok...and I gotta admit I am confused. Again, this was played very liberally in my drow based 80s nuclear fallout campaign that I ran.

38. Two Hearts and No Brain by Kane Strang

I made a TTRPG lad and he's got some Wizard of Oz Scarecrow Syndrome (sad).

[wodiewildenmadengraben]

Oh, ich bin so frei Doch frei heißt auch alleine sein Liebe is the place to be Ich bin bereit für diese Galaxie

Bilderbuch - LED go (2019)

#Bilderbuch #Maurice Ernst #Vernissage my Heart #Liebe #Love #LEDgo #Quote #Zitat #Musik #music #deutschpop #austropop

[nashibirne]

Intellectual Stimulation

This is a follow-up to my first Mike fic (My Best Mistake), which was a huge flop 🙈 but I hope you like the second part better...if so, please leave me a comment, reblog or like 💜 You can read this without knowing part 1 though!

Pairing: Mike x y/n

Summary: Mike wants to impress his girlfriend by being a little more sophisticated

Words: ~ 1.8 k

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, unprotected sex, dry humping, vaginal sex, creampie, creampie eating

NO BETA! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…

Credits: I don’t own anything related to Hellraiser: Hellworld! A huge thank you to @nix-akimbo for the edit of Mike with glasses. I loved using it for the moodboard, the other pics are from pinterest. I don't know who invented Professor Cavill, but credits to you too because I briefly mention him in this story. I quote parts of "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde.

You can find my other fics on my masterlist.

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq

Off we go...

*********

Premise: Mike and his girlfriend have been together for a few months now and everything could be perfect if there wasn't that one little problem called Professor Cavill. He's y/n's lecturer in English literature and she talks about that boomer with the good looks and the tweed jackets and the dad jeans way too often. Plus Mike has seen the way the old debaucher looks at y/n when they meet him on campus. So in short, Mike is annoyed with the guy who seems to be some kind of intellectual superman, especially because he can't keep up with him. Not a bit. When he met y/n for the first time he impressed her by reciting a poem but unfortunately it is the only poem he knows. He isn't sophisticated and although y/n keeps telling him she doesn't care he feels bad and decides to do something about it.

I take a look around the room one last time and yes, everything looks perfect. It's clean and tidy, I made the beds with fresh sheets, I placed some very pretty flowers on my desk and most importantly, I bought a huge box of vintage books plus a special item at a rummage sale. The books are strategically placed in the room in little piles - beside the bed, on the shelf, on the little table beside my sofa and on the floor in the corner of the room. The special item is sitting on my nose and I really hope y/n is not going to burst laughing when she sees me.

Where is she anyway? Late of course, as usual. I take one of the books and open it to read the first pages again. I want to be prepared in the best way possible. The book is old and the cover looks strange but cool. Antiquated of course but still somehow modern with the half-rotten scull and the snobby looking guy printed in black and gold on it. Very avant-garde, Professor Dickhead would say I guess, artsy-fartsy I say.

When I hear the key in the front door I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and turn around with a big smile.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm late. I missed my bus." She returns my smile, hardly looking at me because she has problems with removing her key from the lock. "You really have to change the lock, baby. One day my key will break off."

"Sure. First thing tomorrow, sweet cheeks."

She looks at me, surprised by the enthusiasm in my voice and now, on second sight, she sees it.

"Mike! Oh my god…", she says, covering her mouth with her hands, "what the fuck? You look great!"

"You like it?" I give her a smirk and step closer to greet her with a soft kiss on her pretty lips.

"I love it! But why? I mean...you don't need glasses. I'm confused." She laughs light-heartedly and I grin. "It's just clear glass. I thought you might like me looking a little more sophisticated." I wiggle my head with a grin and she smiles, cupping my face with her hands. "I love you just the way you are, but I have to admit the glasses are damn sexy on you." She gets on her toes to kiss me and I hug her tightly.

"So what are we up to tonight? You said you have special plans for us?"

"Just take a look around, I'm sure you can figure it out." I plop down on the sofa and look at her expectantly.

"Umm...well. You tidied up your mess…"

"Yep. But there's more."

"Fresh sheets...wait...the books. You don't have so many books," she giggles before taking a closer look at one of the piles. "Out of Africa?" She raises her eyebrows and I grin.

"Some are for the heart, some are for the brain." I grab the artsy book and show it to her.

"Ooh...I adore Oscar Wilde. The Picture of Dorian Gray is my favorite!"

"I know, you mentioned it when you were talking about Professor Know-it-all's class the other day."

She rolls her eyes and it looks fucking cute. No, wait, it looks absolutely enchanting! I should adapt my vocabulary to my new look.

"Is this about Professor Cavill? Are you still jealous?"

"I'm not a bit jealous but I thought it wouldn't hurt to broaden my horizon by reading some classics and if you want to, we could read some stuff to each other and talk about it? Like our own private book club. What do you think, babe?"

"That's a great idea. Count me in." She kisses me again before cocking her head, looking at me with a smirk. "Fuck, these glasses really suit you, baby. You look so hot..."

"Please, Miss. Show me a little respect. I want to be desired for my keen intellect, not for my extraordinary good looks", I joke with an exaggerated frown.

"Idiot!" Y/n laughs out loud and nudges me playfully, "so you're all brains today, huh? Then bring it on. Read to me like one of your french girls." She plops down beside me and I snicker at her Titanic reference. I love the movie -don't you dare tell anyone-, and she hates it because she finds it boring but she still watches it with me whenever I'm in the mood for it. Okay….she usually falls asleep with her head in my lap after 15 minutes but it's the thought that counts and in return I do some cultural stuff with her, exhibitions and such. We went to a vernissage last week and to a reading in a bookstore the other day. So, you see... it's high time for some intellectual stimulation.

"Of course. Let's see what we've got here", I splay my fingers in an affected manner and grab the frame of my glasses with my thumb and middle finger to adjust them before I clear my throat and start to read, putting an extra dark timbre into my voice.

"The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn."

I look up from the book to see that y/n obviously likes my reading voice. She seems captivated and I like the way she gazes at me so adoringly. "Go on", she says softly and I continue.

"From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs;"

I read the first few pages and I start to like both, the book and the growing erotic tension between me and y/n. She moves closer to me with every paragraph. After I turn the pages for the first time I feel her hand on my thigh, after I do it for the second time she starts to stroke me through my jeans and I sigh before I concentrate on the poetic words again. While Lord Henry and Basil Hallward talk about bane and boon of extraordinary talent, brains and beauty, I get hard under her touch. I stop reading to kiss her but she shakes her head and nods at the book. "No. Go on, Mike. Read." Her voice is thick with desire now and it turns me on even more but I give her what she wants.

"“Harry,”said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, “every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself."

I moan when y/n decides to straddle my lap. She hitches up her boho style maxi skirt before she sits down and all that's between my hard-on and her sweet pussy now is the delicate lace of her panties and the thick fabric of my jeans. The sexy crochet bralette top she wears is not really helpful. Just Oscar Wilde separates me from her spectacular breasts right now. I'm about to put the book aside but she stops me again. "Keep reading." She rubs herself over my boner and looks me in the eyes with a teasing smile. I think this is a promising start to whatever is going to follow and so I go on and on. She's dry humping me now with slow motions, rolling her hips, riding me with closed eyes. I moan again, I'm so turned on I can hardly speak anymore but I try my very best to keep my girl entertained.

"I turned half-way round and saw Dorian Gray for the first time. When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself."

And that's it. That's the moment of escalation. We are no longer able to control ourselves and y/n takes the book from my hands and throws it away carelessly before she starts to kiss me with a passion I've never tasted on her tongue before. While we make out like love-crazed predators she opens my belt and my fly and she lifts her butt to allow me to get rid of my pants and boxers. She takes off her top and I push her panties aside, feeling how wet she already is. Wet and eager to take my cock. She sinks down onto my dick slowly and the feeling of stretching her tight pussy is as sensational as ever. I grab her ass and knead her juicy cheeks while kissing and sucking her boobs and her hard nipples. I know how much it turns her on when I bite those little rosy buds and caress her breasts, one time she even came when I took real good care of her tits while she was jerking me off.

But today she rides me and I thrust into her hot core with strong movements, rocking my pelvis rhythmically, and we kiss passionately while my hands roam all over her body. I can tell she's about to come by her breath that's going fast and by the naughty little things she whispers hoarsely into my ear. "Yes, babe...fuck me hard, fuck me rough," and "deeper, Mike, I need your dick deeper" or "I'm so close. Can you feel how close I am?" When she stops moving because she cums with a long, drawn sigh, her body trembling, her cunt clenching around my dick, I hug her tightly, pressing her down, forcing her to take even more of me and after a few fast thrusts I cum too, filling her up with my seed and I can't wait to see it drip from her pussy.

I know it sounds a bit pervy but I love to see the mess I've made and to taste our mixed juices on my tongue. She climbs down from my lap and lays down beside me with spread legs and I bend down to lick her dripping cunt clean, lapping everything up with slow, sensual licks while y/n plays with my dark curls, enjoying the sensation of my tongue between her legs.

When we are lying in my bed cuddled up at each other a few minutes later y/n kisses me tenderly. "I'll need you to read to me like this every day now." I smirk and wink at her. "With the glasses?"

"With the glasses", she giggles and her soft laughter sounds the bell for the next chapter of our intellectual stimulation.

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #mike hellraiser x ofc #mike hellraiser #hellraiser: hellworld #mikey hellraiser #smut #mike hellraiser smut

[kpop-zone]

A Little Longer | Jennie

Warnings: NSFW

Genre: angst, a little smut

Wordcount: 6,609

Request: Sentence prompt with blackpink jennie: “I don’t want to be alone right now.” 

A/N: Inspired by Bang Chan’s “I Hate To Admit It”

Part 2 Part 3

From past relationships, you knew how hard breakups could be. No matter how long the relationship lasted or how mutual the breakup was, there was always a part of you that felt empty after the other left your life. But you could have never guessed how hard your breakup with Jennie would be.

Everyone around you probably thought that you were fine. But you knew that there hadn’t been one day since Jennie walked out of your life almost a year ago that you hadn’t thought about her. Of course, your world kept spinning. You managed to land a great promotion at work and your friends were a great distraction. Nevertheless, you couldn’t stop your heart from aching, every time you saw something that reminded you of her.

Which was basically everything.

You had dated for three years, so it seemed like you had been at every place in the city together. When you were in the supermarket, you thought of her when you saw her favorite brand of chips. When you walked past a dog park, you thought about the times the two of you played there with Kuma and Kai. It was driving you insane. It seemed like your body physically reacted to the memories with her, making all of your limbs feel numb and heavy. Things that usually shouldn’t be straining felt like a full-body workout, because all of your energy had evaporated into thin air the day Jennie had left you behind. You hated the power that she still had over you although she wasn’t even near you. Especially since you seemed to be the only one that was suffering. Jennie had not only managed to move on from you after the breakup, no, it seemed like she had already moved on while the two of you were still dating.

“Look! This one kind of looks like Kuma.”

You giggled while pointing at one of the cookies that you just had shaped.

After a long time, Jennie finally had a day off and you decided to spend it in the shelter of your own four walls to do some domestic activities. It gave variety to your usually hectic days and you found yourself being completely immersed in this lifestyle. So immersed that you didn’t even notice how Jennie had stopped decorating the cookies and was looking at you instead.

“I think, I don’t want to do this anymore.”

She stated and you giggled in response.

“It’s ok. This is the last tray. I can finish it on my own and then we’ll do something else.”

Although you were having the time of your life right now, you didn’t mind doing something else. As long as the two of you did it together, you could be out there picking up trash and you would probably still be smiling.

“I didn’t mean the cookies.”

Jennie responded somewhat coldly, making you look up from the tray. You cocked your head to the side in confusion.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

She repeated her statement while pointing between the two of you.

Theoretically you understood what she was referring to, but practically you had trouble wrapping your head around it.

“W-what?”

You stuttered in disbelief and Jennie huffed.

“Look, Y/N. Don’t make this more complicated than it has to be. I’m sure you have noticed the change in our dynamic lately too.”

In your dynamic? You couldn’t belief how callously Jennie was talking right now. Wordlessly you stared at her while thinking about the past weeks. Of course, you hadn’t had much time for each other because of Jennie’s schedule, but you had always anticipated the days that you could spend together.

“No, quite frankly, I have not noticed that.”

You answered honestly, causing Jennie to massage the bridge of her nose.

“Jennie, if this is about the lack of time, we had for each other lately, I don’t want you to worry about that. I know your schedule has been crazy these past weeks, but there will be-“

“It hasn’t.”

Jennie cut you short and once more you felt like you were lacking some information to make sense out of all of this.

“Of course, I had some appointments, but I still had enough free time. I just didn’t come home, because... I had better things to do.”

Her words had managed to break through the wall of confusion that had surrounded you till now and left a deep cut in your heart.

Better things.

Those words played over and over again in your head like a broken record.

“I’m sorry if I’m too blunt, but I feel like it’s time we stop the charades.”

She continued, but you wished that she had stayed quiet. You had been nothing but honest in this relationship. Every confession, every love declaration, every compliment had been the truth. But apparently you had been the only one.

You wanted to scream at Jennie for being so heartless, but your body felt weak as tears started streaming down your cheeks. You trembled in anger, disappointment and pain. But there were no traces of those emotions in Jennie’s eyes. She looked bored. As if she was just sticking around a while to be polite before being able to close this chapter.

“Go.”

You choked out, causing Jennie to look at you. For a second her gaze lingered on you, but then she leaped to her feet uncomplainingly and grabbed her stuff before leaving you behind. No apology, no regret; just as if these past three years hadn’t happened.

As soon as the front door fell in its locks, you broke down to the floor and gasped for air. The walls around you seemed to close in on you and you curled up into a ball in search for protection. But no matter how tightly you tried to hold yourself together, your heart was ripped wide open.

How long had she only been playing with you?

“Earth to Y/N! Hello!!”

You were suddenly shaken by your shoulders, causing you to snap out of your memories.

“Dude, are you crying?”

Tami, one of your best friends and co-workers, asked perplexed.

You hadn’t even realized how deep you had been engulfed in your thoughts until you tasted the salt of your tears on your lips. Quickly you wiped your cheeks and put a smile on your lips.

“No, pabo. My allergies have just been hitting me hard lately. What have you been saying?”

Tami looked at you skeptically for a second, but then she decided that her urge to tell you something was more important than your weird behavior.

“I’ve been asking you what you will be wearing tonight.”

Tonight? Confused you sifted through your calendar mentally but couldn’t think of any birthday parties or other invites.

“The vernissage?”

Tami continued annoyed as she noticed that you couldn’t follow.

You grunted in response and let your head fall to your desk. You had totally forgotten, no, repressed that event that was marked with a scull in your calendar.

While Jennie and you had still been dating, the two of you had often went out together. Visiting bars, having dinner at fancy restaurants, accepting the invites of her high society friends to their million-dollar mansions. Your relationship surely had never been boring. Jennie’s network ranged throughout the whole city and as time passed, parts of her network became yours too. Most of her friends were actually a lot more approachable than they seemed at first and you eventually found yourself hanging with them even when Jennie wasn’t with you.

One of them was Jiyong. He had always been rather down to earth despite his extravagant clothing style and millions of dollars in his bank account, making him weasel his way into your heart in no time. And even after the breakup, he had assured you his friendship, leading to this dilemma now. His invite to his vernissage had reached you a few weeks ago and since then you had been trying to find a way to avoid it. You couldn’t just deny his invite, because you knew how important the event was for him. But you really didn’t want to go either, because she would be there.

Jennie and Jiyong had already been friends long before you. He was one of the few friends, she actually liked and kept by her side. Therefore, you knew that she wouldn’t miss his first big vernissage. Of course, you had told yourself in the course of the past weeks that meeting Jennie on neutral ground wouldn’t be an issue; after all, you had broken up a year ago already. But even if you hated to admit it, you knew that this wasn’t true. If walking past a dog park made your heart ache, you were sure that seeing Jennie would probably knock the air out of your lungs and make you suffocate.

Somehow you needed to get out if this death trap.

“You’re not thinking about bailing last minute, right?”

As if she could read your thoughts, Tami looked at you suspiciously with one eyebrow raised after you had been quiet for a while.

“I really don’t want to go.”

You whined, causing your best friend to huff in frustration.

“What is your deal, Y/N? Of course, it’s hard to meet your ex, but it’s not like you’re still mourning after her.”

She exclaimed annoyed and you avoided her gaze; if only she knew.

“I don’t know. It’s just... not really my thing. All those rich people and the paparazzi.”

You lied, but you knew that Tami wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“You’re right, that sounds absolutely terrible. Getting free champagne, eating appetizer from a five-star Michelin chef and flirting with millionaires. Such an agony.”

She responded mockingly and you wished that you had never asked her to be your plus one in the first place. But Jiyong had given you two tickets and it was clear from the beginning that you wouldn’t be able to go there without some moral support.

“We’re going, Y/N. Wear something fancy, I’m picking you up at 7.”

Tami concluded your discussion without waiting for an answer before returning to her desk again and leaving you with your thoughts.

A bad feeling in the pit of your stomach was telling you that this night would become a disaster. It made your anxiety increase tenfold and when it was 7 at last, you felt like throwing up. But precisely when the clock reached the full hour, your doorbell rang, indicating the arrival of Tami. For a second, you toyed with the idea of just hiding under your covers and ignoring all of your responsibilities. Then, however, you remembered Jiyong’s text that he had sent you earlier in which he thanked you for your support despite the struggles that you would have to go through because of it. With a huff, you accepted your fate before grabbing all of your necessities and walking to the front door.

“Are you ready???”

Tami greeted you with her shrill voice as soon as you swung the door open, making you flinch in surprise.

“Yeah.”

You cheered less then excited. But Tami didn’t care; quickly she interlinked your arms and pulled you to the elevator.

“This is going to be the best night ever!”

She yelled, making you believe that you’d probably soon have a headache additionally to your nausea.

Your lack of enthusiasm, however, didn’t keep Tami from gushing nonstop till you reached the location of the vernissage. It was an old warehouse with a rundown façade, but the sportscars parked in front of it with their overdressed passengers gave away that this place was far from being an ordinary building. People of all kinds lined up in front of it although it was clear that some of them were nowhere near to being given access by the scary looking bouncers. Nevertheless, they had the chance to sniff the air of the rich and glamorous, even if it was just by looking from the outside in.

“Wow.”

Tami gaped next to you when she saw all the VIPs dressed in their expensive-looking clothes passing the bouncers with ease. Her pace got slower with every step and you ended up pulling her to the door where the bouncer eyed you dismissively.

“Invite.”

He murmured impolitely, probably thinking that you were just two wannabes. After dating Jennie for three years though, you were already used to it. Flashing him a big smile, you dug out your invite and shoved it into his hands. Perplexed he scanned the paper before giving you a suspicious look.

“Name.”

His demand was even ruder than before and you needed to swallow a snarky comment.

“Y/N L/N.”

You hissed instead, waiting for the satisfaction that would come a second later when he’d realize that you were actually invited.

Expectedly his eyes widened when he found your name on the list and reluctantly, he let you pass to get inside. You flashed him a last triumphant smile before entering the building where you were greeted by a turmoil of people and some futuristic beats. The room was larger than expected and decorated with Jiyong’s artworks whose illumination was the only source of light.

“This place looks amazing.”

Tami whispered as if her voice could disturb the mysterious and extravagant atmosphere.

But despite the amazing artworks and the carefully designed interior, your focus was not where it was supposed to be. Attentively you scanned the faces of the guests instead. Not with the intent of finding any A-list celebrities like Tami, but with the intent of finding the one person that you were not hoping to find.

“She’s not here, yet.”

A sudden voice from beside you made you jump in surprise.

It was Jiyong who had apparently managed to look right through you after taking one glance at you. Sheepishly you grinned before opening your arms to invite him for a hug.

“Everything is so beautiful. You can be really proud of yourself.”

You said to distract from the fact that you had been caught red-handed.

“Yeah right. I’m sure you have been looking at my art.”

He responded doubtingly, causing you to blush. Gratefully, however, Tami cleared her throat next to you in need for attention, saving you from an unpleasant conversation about your miserable state even one year after the breakup.

“Ah yes, this is Tami, Jiyong. My co-worker and a really good friend of mine.”

You introduced Tami who immediately started buttering up Jiyong with compliments, causing you to roll your eyes. You looked at the scene in front of you for a while until secondhand embarrassment took over your body and you decided to save both of your friends.

“Come on, let’s look at the art.”

Tami looked obviously displeased when you pulled her away from Jiyong who was starting to feel a little uncomfortable because of the exuberant attention.

“We were totally vibing.”

She hissed once you were out of Jiyong’s earshot and you just chuckled in response. That girl would probably play every trick to get herself the number of a millionaire tonight.

You wished that you had been able to place a bet on that as Tami was out of sight not even a minute later after running off to snap some pictures with a famous fashion blogger. You, on the other hand, couldn’t be less interested in the other guests of tonight. You just wanted to dawdle away the bare minimum of time to be able to flee the scene without being impolite. Therefore, you combed through Jiyong’s artworks instead while trying to stay clear of all people in order to avoid making unpleasant encounters. But despite your friend’s obvious talent, you couldn’t enjoy his event. The fear of accidentally running into Jennie was breathing down your neck, although you had been able to fight your nausea with the hope of being able to leave before her arrival.

Your hope was destroyed though, when a murmur suddenly went through the crowd. Like magnets, the guests were pulled to the entrance and you didn’t need to turn around to know that she had arrived. You kept your gaze stubbornly fixated on one of Jiyong’s paintings, but you couldn’t block out the whispers around you.

“Look at her dress.”

“Wow her skin is glowing.”

“She’s even prettier in person.”

People gasped left and right to you and it felt like someone was twisting your heart. Only the thought of being in the same room with her made you feel nauseous again and you anxiously started chewing on your lip. Your body almost ached because you were refusing to turn around, but your brain forbade you to give in to the temptation. With every second the whispers got louder, indicating that Jennie was getting closer to you. You clenched your fists as you concentratedly tried to keep staring ahead while fighting your own heart that was screaming at you to finally look at her.

Did she look different? Was she looking for you like you did for her?

Your curiosity was killing you, making your head turn involuntarily to the side like Jennie was radiating some sort of gravitational force. A quick glance over the shoulder couldn’t harm anybody, right? You would allow yourself to look at her just for a second to appease your thirst; nothing more.

But as soon as Jennie stepped into your field of vision, all of your resistance crumbled. Your breath hitched in your throat and everything around her became blurry as you were only able to see her. Her feline eyes were scanning the dumbfounded crowd while a smirk on her lips was giving away how much she loved the attention. You hated her smugness, but at the same time it was making your knees feel weak. She was radiating pure power and superiority, making you realize that she was like a drug that you were addicted to. Only seeing her was energizing you more than anything else in the past year. Finally, you were feeling like yourself again and your thirst for more grew.

You needed more of your drug. You needed more of Jennie.

Your feet were about to follow the draw that was pulling you to her when your trance was suddenly disturbed by the increasingly loud murmurs. Confused, you furrowed your brow as the blocked-out background started to come to the fore. You were able to see the bigger picture again and noticed how the chatter of the people had gotten more agitated. Groups of people were sticking their heads together while eyeing Jennie derogatorily causing her smirk to falter. Suddenly she didn’t look arrogant anymore; suddenly she looked like your Jennie again. The girl that was afraid of thunder and preferred to watch Disney movies because all of the other movies were too suspenseful for her.

You tried to understand the chatter around you, but it was too jumbled. Nevertheless, it took no genius to know that they were talking badly about your ex. You knew that you should probably feel some sort of satisfaction right now; after all she had chipperly ripped your heart out without any form of regret, just to eat you alive and spit you out again. It should make you feel good to know that karma was coming for her. But of course, you didn’t enjoy seeing her suffering. She looked so lost in that moment and you cursed yourself for wanting to wrap your arms around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear to comfort her. But unfortunately, that wasn’t your place anymore. Instead, all you could do was to try picking up some words from around you to figure out what was going on.

“Dating scandal.”

Those two words suddenly sounded clearly directly next to you and you jumped in surprise before turning your head. Jiyong had once again managed to sneak up on you. He was standing next to you with a champagne glass in his hand while zeroing in on Jennie.

“Huh?”

You asked confused, making him look at you.

“She has been entangled in another dating scandal. That’s why the crowd is being especially wild around her tonight. Some hope for more gossip, while others just want a piece of her fame.”

He explained and your heart clenched.

Not, however, because you learned that Jennie had been in another relationship in the meantime. You hadn’t expected anything less from her. She was the embodiment of grace and perfection, so it was to no surprise that she had captured someone else in her net of temptations. No, what hurt you more was the fact that once again people seemed to forget that Jennie was just human. Like vultures they were surrounding her, waiting for a slip in order to pounce on her and tear her down.

Over and over again, they criticized her for the stupidest things. Every step that she took was supervised, leaving her scared and insecure after being in the industry for so long. But no one seemed to notice. Everyone else only saw her perfect smile and sublime demeanor. It was all just a game for them for their entertainment. A game with no regard for fatalities.

Silently you unlocked the door and tiptoed into the house. After you had read the news, nothing could hold you at work anymore and you faked sick to leave early. Blackpink had showcased their comeback yesterday. Jennie had been incredibly nervous beforehand, but you had assured her that all of her hard work would pay off and that there would be nothing to worry about. But once more the netizens proved you wrong.

Today an enormous amount of hate comments about Jennie were flooding the internet. Bad dancer. Weak link of Blackpink. Lazy. The usual insults were thrown at your girlfriend’s head and when you texted her to check up on her, you received no answer. You knew that this could only mean that she had read the news and had broken down again.

Carefully you entered her room and saw her balled up on her bed.

“Baby?”

You whispered softly once you were standing in front of her, but you got no reaction out of her.

Her trembling shoulders, however, were giving away that she wasn’t sleeping but crying instead. Therefore, you sat down on the edge of her bed and gently brushed some hair out of her face. Although the room was only dimly lit, you could see that Jennie’s eyes were red and puffy, causing you to almost wince in pain.

“They hate me, Y/N.”

She sobbed silently and you instantly lifted her up to pull her into your arms.

“They are just jealous, jagi. Fame always comes with hate. But there are so many people that love you; so many.”

You whispered into her ear, but her sobs kept echoing in the room. Helplessly you pressed her against your body in hopes to give her the comfort that she needed while you were lacking any words to make her feel better.

If only you could find a way to make all of this hate go away.

Unfortunately, you never found a way though. Your relationship with Jennie continued to be a cycle of your girlfriend soaring through the sky due to all the praise in one moment and hitting rock bottom the next. And now a year after your breakup, it didn’t seem to be much different; only that you weren’t there anymore to pick up the pieces.

A mixture of guilt and hatred for the people around you made your skin crawl and you could feel your irritation getting the better of you.

“Excuse me.”

You said to Jiyong before storming off into the direction of the restrooms to avoid seeing Jennie’s broken figure any longer.

With all your power, you swung open the door of the restroom, making it slam loudly against the wall. But you couldn’t care less, you needed to do something to get rid of your anger. With big steps, you headed straight for the sink where you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your breath was fast and shallow like you had just run a marathon. Once again, your feelings for Jennie caused a physical reaction in you against your will.

Quickly you turned on the tap and splashed some water on your cheeks in hopes to cool your head. Your thoughts were racing, and you needed to slow them down to prevent a short circuit in your brain. Closing your eyes, you focused on your breathing and gradually managed to slow it down along with your heartbeat.

This was none of your business anymore, you thought. Jennie wasn’t yours. She had probably never been. Her actions were her responsibility and it wasn’t your job to fix her. It was a hard pill to swallow, but maybe tonight could be your wake-up call. It was time to let your brain guide you again, instead of your heart. Therefore, you kept reasoning with yourself until you couldn’t feel your heart jumping out of your chest anymore. When you opened your eyes again, you sternly looked at yourself in the mirror.

“None.Of.Your.Freaking.Business.”

You warned yourself as you were still struggling to ban all thoughts of Jennie from your mind. Maybe you could speak your disinterest into existence.

Like a mantra, you kept mumbling this sentence under your breath while touching up your appearance until you were pleased with the outcome. With determination you nodded to yourself in the mirror before feeling ready to leave the restroom. Maybe you weren’t ready yet to meet Jennie, but you surely felt confident enough to be in one room with her and just let her be. With newfound positivity, you swung open the door, only to find your confidence being destroyed a second later. Another person was almost running down the hallway with their face lowered and buried behind their hands. There was no time for you to get out of the way, causing the two of you to bump shoulders. Only then, the person lifted their head and with wide eyes, you realized that it was Jennie who seemed to be fleeing from the crowd.

“Y/N.”

She breathed evidently surprised when her gaze met yours. It seemed like she hadn’t expected anyone to be here, especially not you. There were tears in her eyes and the smug look from before had disappeared. Concern immediately washed over you, leaving nothing of the newfound determination behind. Jennie, however, noticed your pitiful look, making her put up her façade again. As if there weren’t tears shimmering in her eyes, she flashed you a gummy smile.

“It’s been a while! How are you doing?”

Jennie asked overly cheerful.

You didn’t know what hurt you more. Suddenly being so close to her or having to watch how she pretended to be fine once again when she obviously wasn’t. Why did she always have to mime the strong one?

But despite knowing that she was hurting herself, you still felt inferior to her. Something about her always managed to make you feel weak. Her feline eyes were scanning all the details in your face and you felt yourself getting nervous under her gaze. It was melting away the little rest of confidence that you had been guarding, leaving you vulnerable and scared. Looking into Jennie’s face, threw you back to the day, she had decided that she didn’t want to be yours anymore. Like every day the past year, the memories choked you up and made you wordlessly stare at Jennie.

“Y/N?”

Only her soft voice was able to break your train of thoughts and you cleared your throat to recollect yourself.

“Um... fine. I’m perfectly fine.”

You lied while avoiding her eyes. Suddenly, however, a sensation on your hand made you jump in surprise. You snapped up your gaze to see that Jennie had reached out to touch your hand.

“That’s a lie.”

She simply stated, causing you to reflexively back away to protect your personal space.

“W-what? Don’t be silly.”

You chuckled nervously, but it seemed like your insecurity had suddenly turned a switch inside of Jennie, causing her confidence to return. She took a step forward while eyeing you with a piercing gaze.

“Really? Then why are you shaking?”

Only now you realized that the adrenaline that was rushing through your veins right now was making you tremble. Quickly you hid your hands behind your back to save your face.

“I’m not.”

Your answer made Jennie chuckle and a cold shudder ran down your spine. It seemed like she had found a distraction from the pain that was probably still pulling at her heartstrings because of earlier; she had found a prey that she could easily bring down despite being ailing herself. But you wouldn’t let her torture you, just to make her feel better. You wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“How are you though? I heard about the dating scandal.”

Your voice wasn’t as confident as you would have wanted it to be, but you could still see in Jennie’s face that you had struck a nerve. A dark shadow flashed over it and you almost grinned, because you had finally won the upper hand. Your smugness faltered a second later, however, when a new flame flared up in Jennie’s eyes.

“What can I say, fame always comes with hate.”

Emotionlessly, she repeated your words from all those years ago, causing you to gulp thickly. If you had wanted to bring out the vulnerable girl in Jennie, you had failed miserably. Instead, you seemed to have poked the flame in her that wanted to consume you.

“Do you remember how you used to take care of me when I was involved in another scandal?”

Jennie asked while inching closer to you.

You didn’t know what intentions she had right now, but you were sure that they were not of the good kind. Jennie always had been an asserter of unhealthy coping mechanisms and the humiliation from before had deeply hurt her, even if she tried to play it cool. Someone needed to pay for it, and something was telling you that this would be you.

With her eyes fixed on you, Jennie creeped closer while you kept stumbling backwards. Eventually, however, you backed against the door of the restroom, leaving you trapped and defenseless against Jennie’s attack.

“I miss those times.”

Your heart missed a beat as Jennie said exactly the words that you had wanted to hear.

You were aware that they were a lie. But your brain didn’t seem to be strong enough to make you act by your better knowledge. Instead you stood perfectly still as Jennie was now standing directly in front of you, in order to calmly, but surely take down all the pillars that were supporting your defiance.

“Jennie.”

You breathed with your last willpower while pushing her away halfheartedly.

Your resistance was of no use, however, as Jennie leaned into you, making you feel her hot breath against your neck.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

She said barely above a whisper, but you understood every word clearly as her lips were only inches next to your ear. A shudder ran down your spine and you had to fight a moan that was threatening to leave your mouth. Every part of your body was tingling in anticipation for Jennie’s touch now.

She immediately noticed the change in your demeanor, causing her to push down the handle of the restroom door in order to shove you inside. In lightning speed, she checked all the stalls for any unwanted spectators before locking the door. You gulped thickly as you were standing helplessly in the middle of the room like a lamb in front of a slaughterer. Your brain was telling you to run while the rest of your body was telling you to stay, leaving you paralyzed. A mischievous smirk was playing on Jennie’s lips as she was walking towards you while swaying her hips seductively. She hadn’t even touched you yet, but the heat between your legs was already making you shift uncomfortably from one leg to the other. Jennie laughed sardonically when she noticed your desperate state and pushed you backwards until you were pressed against the sink.

“Impatient, are we?”

She hummed and you lowered your head in embarrassment. You didn’t know what you hated more. The fact that you were still so affected by her or the fact that Jennie knew about it.

“Don’t be embarrassed, baby. I’ve made you wait too long, haven’t I?”

Her fingers sneaked under your chin to lift your head up. She made you meet her eyes while her other hand unbuttoned your pants. Attentively, she watched your reaction while wallowing in the satisfaction that your obedience gave her.

“Lucky for you, we don’t have all night. So I won’t make you wait any longer.”

With those words, she crashed her lips into yours, not hesitating to slip her tongue into your mouth. But you didn’t mind. Like she had said, you had waited way too long for this. Your arms found their way around her neck to pull her closer as Jennie put her hands on your hips. She detached your lips to kiss along your jawline down to your neck where she sucked on your pulse point. You closed your eyes immediately to indulge in the sensation. Jennie had always known how to work the weaknesses of your body perfectly.

While she made sure to mark your neck, one of her hands sneaked under your shirt to your breasts where she gave your left one a firm squeeze. A moan escaped your mouth that was cut short though when the handle of the restroom door was suddenly pushed down. Automatically, you straightened up and pushed Jennie back who looked at you disapprovingly.

“It’s locked, babe. Don’t worry.”

Calmly she pressed you back in place, but you couldn’t stop glancing at the door.

“But...”

You started, but Jennie shut you up with a kiss.

“They can use the other bathroom. But I promise to make it quick.”

With a swift movement, Jennie pulled down your pants along with your panties. She pressed you harshly against the sink, making you yelp loudly when your bare skin came in contact with the cold surface. You could spot a smirk on Jennie’s lips just before she attached her lips to yours again; she was enjoying this way too much. She kissed you roughly, making you feel breathless and desperate for more. You were sure that the wetness between your legs was starting to drip down by now, causing you to press your legs together. Jennie, however, immediately protested as she was exploring your ass and inner thighs with her hand.

“Uh uh.”

She shook her head and spread your legs again.

“Let me help you with that.”

Suddenly you felt two fingers thrusting into your entrance without a warning. You gripped the edge of the sink hard, turning your knuckles white in order to stop you from screaming profanities. Jennie didn’t hesitate to start pumping her fingers while circling your clit with her thumb, making your legs begin to feel like jelly. Noticing your struggle, Jennie pressed you harder against the sink with her lower body while wrapping her arm around your waist to steady you. As the knot in your stomach was beginning to grow you pulled her closer to you and buried your face in the crook of her neck to muffle your moans that were steadily getting louder.

“Why don’t you let me hear your moans? You sound so beautiful.”

Jennie complained before pushing you back to be able to kiss you again. Soon you were running out of breath though as her fingers kept slipping in and out of you, causing you to throw your head back to gasp for air. The pressure in your stomach wanted to be released, but Jennie chose to move her fingers in a torturing slow pace to tease you a little longer. Impatiently you rolled your hips against Jennie’s hand, but she pulled away every time you were close to hitting the right spot, causing you to whine involuntarily.

“Does that feel good?”

Jennie asked teasingly while nibbling on your earlobe.

“Please...”

You choked out, desperate for her to stop this torture.

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

She giggled before licking along your jawline and finally picking up the pace of her fingers. She thrusted deep inside you, making you unable to control your moans anymore. The room was filled with your panting, the sound of your wetness and eventual curse words that rolled over your tongue when Jennie hit the right spot. It didn’t take long till you could feel yourself chasing your high, making you desperately cling to Jennie in fear that your legs would give in. Your fingers entangled in her hair, but she didn’t stop pumping in and out of you, sending you over the edge eventually. All the tension left your body at once and your hips stutteringly bucked forward to ride your high as long as possible. Only when you felt like you couldn’t take any more, Jennie finally removed her fingers and pushed herself off you. Shakily you propped yourself against the sink while trying to catch your breath.

Although you had shared this form of intimacy a hundred times before, you could feel yourself getting shy as you were standing in front of Jennie exposed like that. She, on the other hand, showed no signs of shame or embarrassment; as a matter of fact, she wasn’t showing any emotions at all. Nonchalantly, she walked to the sink next to you to wash her hands before fixing her hair and makeup. Dumbfounded you watched her while waiting for your legs to follow your commands again. Jennie, however, didn’t pay any attention to you. Only when her appearance was back to her satisfaction again, she took notice of you. Her eyes scanned your body until stopping at the mess that she had left between your legs. Wordlessly, she grabbed some paper towels and shoved them into your hands.

“Clean up.”

Jennie demanded before checking herself in the mirror a last time and walking to the door.

Your body automatically straightened up and you almost yelled at her to stop. You had known that this meant nothing to her, but you still didn’t want her to leave; not yet. You wanted to hold her just for a little while longer even if you knew that it was just a lie. But when her eyes met yours, you knew that there was no use in begging. The Jennie that you had known wasn’t there anymore. Once again, she stared at you wordlessly before reaching for the door handle. No apology, no regret; she left as if you were just two strangers that had met by accident.

Tears sprung to your eyes, but this time, you didn’t break down. Your heart had gotten used to the daily torture that Jennie put you through, even if she probably didn’t know about it. She had broken your heart, but she wasn’t to blame for the agony that you were going through ever since. She had lost her way somewhere along the line of your relationship and you should have given up on her. But you had been too stubborn to accept it. You were still hoping until this day that the old Jennie would return eventually. Maybe one day she would remember all the whispered promises that you had told each other under the covers. There was no point in giving up on your hope now.

You had waited so long for her already, you didn’t mind waiting some more.

Just a little longer.

#blackpink scenario #blackpink #jennie scenario #jennie #kim jennie #girl group scenario #girl group #kpop #kpop scenario #girl group imagines #blackpink imagines #jennie imagines

[musikblog]

Bilderbuch - Zwei Neue Singles Bilderbuch haben heute ihre neuen Singles “Schwarzes Karma” und “Ab und Auf” veröffentlicht. Beide sind Teil des am 8. April erscheinenden Albums “Gelb ist das Feld”. View this post on Instagram A post shared by BILDERBUCH (@bilderbuchmusik) Das aktuelle Album des österreichischen Quartetts “Vernissage My Heart” ist schon ganze drei Jahre alt. Eine ungewöhnlich lange […] #Bilderbuch https://www.musikblog.de/2022/02/bilderbuch-zwei-neue-singles/

#Alternative-Pop #Future-Pop #News #Synth-Pop

[final-fantasy-imagines]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a drabble of an a Cloud x reader where the reader has a either an art show or something along those lines and Cloud misses it and has to make up for it?

This was a cool request, thank you for sending it in. I hope I did your idea justice! :) 

You owe me something – Cloud x reader (modern!AU)

You were nervous. Not the kind of nervous where you got sweaty hands and forgot what you wanted to say but rather thatkind of nervous where you felt like you were going to throw up if you made the mistake to open your mouth for longer than maybe two or three seconds. Your heart was pounding like mad and you felt slightly dizzy as you adjusted your clothes in front of the mirror again.

It was your first art show ever, the first time to show your paintings to people other than your friends and your family, and you already prayed that they would enjoy your work or maybe even spread the word about it. You had always dreams about becoming a famous artists and to host your own art shows but right now, you just wanted to rush home und curl up under your favorite fluffy blanket to hide from everyone and everything.

But instead, you had to to put on a smile and deliver an opening speech in about ten minutes. Much to your relief, you had already prepared some notes yesterday; otherwise you would’ve been completely lost today.

You held back a sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror again. If only Cloud was here… your long-time boyfriend never failed to calm you down, no matter how hard you were freaking out but today of all days he couldn’t come around to reassure you about your plans, even though he originally had promised to be by your side when you held your first art show.

You knew that it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t be here right now; he was stuck at work but you couldn’t help but wish that he magically appeared in front of you. He was your calm anchor, your best friend and you really wanted to share this special moment with him. But of course things hadn’t worked out the way you had wanted to.

“(Y/N)?” Your assistent peeked through the door, snapping you out of your racing thoughts. You turned around and tried to put on a smile. It wasn’t her fault that you were freaking out right now. “Yes?”

“It’s time for your speech. The visitors are waiting for you.”

“Okay,” you said and took a deep breath since you started to feel slightly nauseous again. Two more deep breaths, then you headed towards the door. “Let’s do this.”

*

When you returned home this evening, you were exhausted but incredibly relieved. After the initial nervousness had subsided it had actually been a lot of fun to spend time with people who were genuinely interested in art. The vernissage itself had been a thorough success too, the guests had applauded you for your work and some of them had even asked you if they could buy one of your art pieces. You had spent the day in a rage of enthusiasm and happiness but now that the event was over you finally felt like you could breathe easily again.

“Holy moly,” you mumbled to yourself as you kicked of your shoes and headed into the living room where Cloud was already waiting for you. He looked tired and a bit upset but when he spotted you his lips curled into a soft smile. “Hey baby.”

“Hey,” you sighed, already making your way to the couch to sit down. Your eyes fluttered closed as you allowed your tense muscles to relax after a long day.

Cloud plopped down next to you. “How was your day?”

“Exhausting,” you said and slowly turned your head to look at him. “And amazing at the same time. I never thought that there would be so many people who enjoyed my art!” A brief expression of disappointment flashed over your face. “I wish you would’ve been able to be there with me.”

You could see a hint of guilt in his blue eyes as he locked his gaze with yours. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you replied quietly and stopped him with a wave of your hand. “It’s not your fault and I’m not mad or something. It’s just… it was my first art show ever. It would’ve been nice to see a familiar face in the crowd, y’know.”

Cloud nodded. He knew how important the event had been to you and while he agreed that it wasn’t his fault that he missed it, he still felt guilty. He definitely needed to make up for it, especially since he had promised to be there with you. “I’ll make good for it, I promise,” he said and reached out for your hand to interlace his fingers with yours. “Maybe I could help you organize your next art show? I know you were hella busy with that over the past few weeks.”

You smiled, gently squeezing his hand. “Sounds great. But I actually have a better idea.”

“… okay. Go on, tell me.”

“Let me paint you.” From the corner of your eyes, you could see how his face dropped. If he had been drinking something right now, he would’ve spat it right out, you were sure.

Since you met him a few years ago he had refused to let you paint him, even though you had tried everything to make him change his mind. He had been so stubborn about it that you have up eventually but now seemed to be the perfect time to bring the topic up again.

“Remember,” you said, a mischievous grin forming on your lips. “You owe me something, Strife.”

Cloud groaned. “I should’ve kept quiet.”

“Come on, don’t make a fuss,” you replied and poked him in the ribs. “I’m not going to disfeature you. I just want to practice painting portraits.”

Cloud groaned again and rolled his eyes. “Fine. But don’t even think about showing that damn painting to someone.”

“Well… we’ll see about that.” You giggled. “You’re way too handsome to not show around.”

#cloud strife x reader #cloud strife imagine #cloud ff7 x reader #cloud ff7 imagine #cloud strife #final fantasy x reader #final fantasy imagine #ff7 x reader #ff7 imagine #reader insert

[blackblackbirds]

Vernissage My Heart (Instagram)

#art #artists on tumblr #journal #bilderbuch #design #typography #colorful #moleskine #my art #handwriting #graphic design

[satsumaplanet]

I was tagged by the lovely @intimate-comrade to share my top 10 albums of 2019 and tag 10 other ppl

(these are in no particular order)

1. Time without consequence - Alexi Murdoch

2. mea culpa - Bilderbuch

3. Rachael and Vilray - Rachael and Vilray

4. Ah Um - Charles Mingus

5. Is that all there is? - Peggy Lee

6. As if by Magic - Duncan Lamont

7. The Charlie Brown Suite and Other Favourites

8. Vernissage my heart - Bilderbuch

9. Lately EP - Still Woozy

10. Expedition ins O - Käptn Peng und die Tentakel von Delphi

Once again I'm just tagging some followers I appreciate and my very few mutuals

@shrimpcolors @shesarealphony @torispring @sunken-springg and whoever is reading this, consider yourself tagged aswell

[voodoorhythmrecords]

get your Daily Fix with the Reverend Beat-Man’s Dusty Record Cabinet - Vol.33

1 BATMOBILE - Slapping Suspender 2 ChaosZ - Alles ist grau 3 Dieter Meier - Cry For Fame 4 jaymz bee & the deep lounge coalation - gin & juice 5 THE TIGERS - RECORD SHEET (JAP) 6 HEART ATTACK ALLEY - Spit It Out 7 Pisse - Vernissage 8 reverend beatman good morning 9 D.A.F. - Ich und die Wirklichkeit 10 Ec8or - Dynamite 11 Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan 12 Degurutieni - Black light Magic 13 Seth Augustus - Big Cocoon 14 The Indian Feast - We Must Bleed 15 Grupo Celeste - Viento 16 Nicole Carcia - Baby OK 17 Klaus Nomi - The Cold Song 18 Ryskinder - Luxus 19 Iris - Trousers 20 PUSSYCAT - MAIS POURQUAI 21 REVEREND BEATMAN AND ELI ROSE - Your Funeral My Trial

[nonecosiimportante]

#music #bilderbuch #vernissage my heart #europa 22 #song of the day #i love music

[getaddictet]

Du hast große Zukunft

Ich bin nicht dabei

#oh ich bin so frei #doch frei heißt auch alleine sein #liebe ist the place to be #ich bin bereit für diese galaxie #:((((((((( #ich bin so gern mit dir bubu #fucking hell ey hahahaha #bilderbuch #led go #vernissage my heart

[hicemusic]

Bilderbuch – Vernissage My Heart

VÖ: 22.02.2019

Label: Maschin

Genre: Indie-/Funk-Rock

Die Österreich von Bilderbuch sind wohl die Band, die ich seit Beginn meines Blogs am öftesten besprochen habe: eingerechnet mit dieser Review vier Mal, gleichbedeutend mit allen Studioalben seit 2015 (zuvor sind bereits 2009 bzw. 2011 Nelken & Schillinge sowie Die Pest im Piemont veröffentlicht worden). Das liegt auch daran, dass ich die…

View On WordPress

#Album #Bilderbuch #Funk Rock #Indie Rock #Music #Musik #Review #Rezension

[nashibirne]

London Calling - 2

So, guys...I know it took me a while but here it is. Part 2 of Bodyguard! August and his adventures in London. I hope there are still some people out there who want to read this. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Every single comment/reblog/like is very appreciated 💜

Pairing: August Walker x ofc (Lucretia "Lu" Johnson)

Words: ~ 3.2

Summary and A/N: This story plays with the thought of "what if…" What if August Walker had taken another road? What if he had turned into John Lark for completely different reasons? What if he had found love before becoming a bitter, disillusioned man?So the events of "London Calling" take place about ten years prior to MI:Fallout and August Walker hasn't joined the CIA yet, he's an FBI Agent and his new mission in London that lies ahead of him is going to be a challenging one. Maybe it's even going to change his life.

Find the previous chapter and my other fics here: Nashi's Masterlist.

Warnings: 18+! This story deals with the topic of a toxic/abusive relationship, gaslighting and problematic behavior of one of the protagonists in general. Please don't read if these topics trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable.

English is not my mother tongue but the lovely @sillyrabbit81 was so kind to be my very helpful and patient Beta! Thank you so, so much, bunny 🐇💜 (Edited by me, so there might still be mistakes and they're all mine)

Credits/Disclaimer: I don't own August Walker or anything related to MI:Fallout. Pics for the moodboard from pinterest, face claims: Lu - Hannah van der Westhuysen, Adam - Freddie Thorpe. FaceApp helped me with making August look a little younger.

Ready? Let's go!

*********

"John Lark," Adam said to Lu, who was sitting opposite of him at the dining table, having a coffee and some fruits for breakfast. He grinned and rolled his eyes. "What a boring name. Let's hope he has a boring personality as well and likes staying in the background just like poor old Eddie."

Lu shook her head with a sad smile. "I still can't believe he's dead. I mean, one moment he's alive and kicking and then he misses a red light and is six feet under."

"He should have been careful, baby. He was an idiot anyway. Please don't tell me you liked the old grinch." Adam ran a hand through his light brown hair and gave her a surprised glance.

"I did like him and he wasn't old, not even 50. He was a nice guy, always friendly and helpful." She leaned back in her chair with a sigh and looked out of the large windows that gave a fantastic view on the Thames and the city of London.

"Did you fuck him?"

Lu froze at the coldness in his voice, that sent icy shivers down her spine.

"Of course not, I…I would never...he wouldn't have..." She stared at the man she was going to marry in just a few months, eyes wide, lump in her throat, feeling offended and unsettled by his accusation.

Adam burst out laughing. "You should see your face, Lu," he chuckled with a big grin on his attractive face. "It's hilarious, you're so easy to lead on, darling. It's really cute how naive you can be. That's exactly the reason why I have to look after you by the way. People take advantage of you but no one fucks around with Adam Mayfield." He gave her a wink but she knew he wasn't just teasing her, he meant it. Lu forced a grin, trying to relax and regain her composure by taking a deep breath. Getting serious he reached over the table and took her hand, pressing a tender kiss on her knuckles. "I was joking of course, I know you are loyal, baby. You're not a cheating whore. If you were I wouldn't marry you and if you were I would know. Nothing remains a secret to me. Nothing, Lu. Never forget that. No secrets."

She gave him a sweet smile and squeezed his hand, her heart beating like crazy. "No secrets," she said because she knew that's what he wanted to hear.

Adam gave her an approving nod, obviously content with her answer.

"So, until Lark arrives the day after tomorrow, Big Ben is gonna take care of you."

"What about you, won't you need him?"

Lu was genuinely surprised. Since Eddie's accident, Andy, the third member of their security staff, had taken over his duties. Big Ben was Adam's bodyguard, more than that actually, over the years he had become his right hand, his assistant, his eyes, his ears, his shadow. The middle aged man, with the thin, sparse light blonde hair and the hooked nose that dominated his puffy face with the pasty complexion, was a nice guy on first sight, always very polite and friendly, always up for a joke, but he had something in his watery eyes that scared Lu. Maybe it was because he was so loyally devoted to Adam. Lu had never heard him question any order, he did whatever he was told to and Lu was absolutely convinced he would turn against her in the blink of an eye, if Adam asked him to. She feared him and she didn't trust him and she was quite sure the feeling was mutual.

"I can do without him for two days, right Ben?" He asked the man who was entering the room right then.

"Sir?"

"You'll look after Miss Johnson today and tomorrow and Andy will keep an eye on me."

"Of course," Big Ben nodded with a smile. The nickname was pretty ridiculous, because he was anything but big. He was neither tall nor broad. He was hardly Lu's height and a little overweight but he was tough and a skilled martial arts fighter. He had been pretty successful in his youth, winning various tournaments and he was still very strong and flexible. Lu had watched him doing some Jiu Jiutsu with Adam a few times and it had been impressive to see the stocky guy so agile and light-footed.

"I won't be much of a nuisance, Ben," Lu said, "I will be busy preparing the vernissage for the rest of the week, so we'll be at the gallery most of the time."

"That's fine, Miss Johnson. I like the gallery. I don't know much about art but you have some beautiful paintings there."

***

An hour later Big Ben was looking at one of these paintings and Lu was watching him closely. Something was off, not only today, it had been for a few days. It started with Adam letting Andy stay with her at the gallery all day. That was very unusual. Eddie had always run errands while she had been working or he had washed the car or whatever. She didn't need him around, the gallery was a safe place, nothing bad had ever been happening there. She had asked Andy a few times why it was necessary that he stayed but he'd always said he didn't know and was just following Mr. Mayfield's orders. And now there was Ben, who was obviously trying to pump some kind of information out of her, asking strange questions.

He was subtle, she had to admit that, but just like anyone, including Adam, he underestimated her. He and the rest of the world considered her to be just a blonde bimbo, Adam's arm candy, a classic gold digger and nothing more. She could hardly blame people for thinking that way and actually she even liked flying under the radar. It gave her a certain kind of freedom because nobody was really paying attention to what she did. Adam was the one in the limelight and since she'd never dare to steal his thunder even the yellow press found her too boring to write about her. So she was able to focus on her work and try to make herself a name as a galerist, not as Adam Mayfield's trophy girlfriend.

She knew most people thought she wasn't very clever, but as hard as her youth had been it had given her two very useful skills, street-smartness and the ability to judge character. She had more knowledge of human nature than most women her age and she for sure could tell when someone was trying to hide something from her.

"Eddie liked that painting too," she said with a smile. It was a lie, Eddie had never been taking interest in any of the artwork she presented in her gallery but she wanted to get Ben to talk.

"Really?" A sad look crossed Benjamin's face. He and Eddie had been pretty close and Lu imagined he was mourning his old friend badly.

She gave him a nod and a friendly smile. "You miss him, don't you?"

"Of course, Miss Johnson."

"Lu," she corrected him for the millionth time although she knew he'd continue calling her by her last name. She had no idea why he insisted on this formal way of addressing her, all the other staff members called her by her first name, but since he did the same with Adam she supposed it was just his way of showing respect and keeping a professional distance. "I miss him too. I can't believe he was so irresponsible. He was always such a careful driver, he never even got a ticket for wrong parking."

Big Ben wrinkled his nose. "I'm sure he wasn't acting irresponsibly. It was an accident."

"Well, Adam said he missed a red light because he was distracted by answering his phone. That's pretty irresponsible, if you ask me."

She saw his jaw working and his hands were balled into fists. Her accusations were making him angry and she assumed that meant they were wrong.

"We don't really know what happened. Just what the police file says," he replied with a shrug.

"And you assume that it's not telling the truth?"

"I don't assume anything, Miss Johnson. I believe in the things Mr Mayfield tells me. And so do you, I guess."

"Of course I do," Lu said quickly, dropping the topic, fully aware of the threat that his words involved. She had heard enough anyway.

****

August took a deep breath before he dropped his suitcase on the floor and took a look around. The room -his room- was nice. Big and bright, with large windows and a big bed that appeared to be very comfy. The en suite bathroom was luxurious and gave off spa vibes while the modern paintings and photographs on the walls made the room look like a very stylish and exclusive hotel suite. He liked that, but he had to remind himself that this wasn't a city trip for a weekend, this was his job and his new life.

He had spent the last days slipping on his new personality, becoming John Lark, embracing his alter ego. He grinned when saw his reflection in the window. That mustache and the three day stubble he wore now was an unusual sight but he had to admit he liked the new look, it suited him. August unpacked his suitcase, placing his clothes in the closet and the few personal items John Lark owned in and on the nightstand. A few books, a moleskin and a pen, a jump rope and a pull-up bar for staying in shape and his personal mobile. He had been handed out an official cell phone by that guy called Ben right at the airport where he had picked him up. He put on the watch Lark's mother had given him after high school graduation, his initials engraved on the back. 6:45. Fifteen minutes till dinner. He had been asked to eat with them to meet Mayfield and his Barbie. Miss Johnson. Just be professional, he scolded himself, she's your target.

Don't fuck this up. Kyle's words resonated in his head. This had to be his goddamn creed from now on if he wanted to join Erica Sloane's team at the CIA, and fuck he did. She was infamous for being the toughest and strictest woman at the agency and for being the best. Her team consisted of the most respected and effective agents and that was exactly where he belonged. He wanted to work with the best, he wanted to be top of the class, he intended to become primus inter pares. The best of the best, notorious, feared, valued, celebrated, desired...all those things that had been refused to him throughout his childhood and youth. He had been a victim till he joined the army, a loser, a pussy. Now he was a winner and he would become a champ and claim what he deserved.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Ready, Lark?"

"Coming."

He put on his jacket and straightened the soft brown fabric of his suit. Adjusting the matching tie, taking a deep breath he opened the door and smiled at Ben who just gave him a nod.

"Let's go," he said. "They're waiting."

****

She knew John Lark was trouble the moment she saw him. It was nothing specific that made her feel this way, not his looks or his behaviour, it was more the aura that surrounded him. Lu couldn't quite put a finger on it, but she knew she had to be careful around him right away.

"Mr. Lark...John," Adam greeted his new employee friendly, flashing him a bright smile. "I suppose it's okay to call you John?" Not waiting for an answer he continued while shaking August's hand. "Really nice to meet you. Welcome to your new home."

August returned the smile. "Thank you, Mr. Mayfield. Nice to meet you too."

"Please, call me Adam. There's no need for formalities. After all, we're going to live together, work together…"

Another charming smile. The guy was smooth, August had to admit. He was even more handsome than his picture had suggested, with fine facial features, tall and lean, exuding natural elegance and wit. A charmer and a ladies man for sure.

"This is my fiancee, Lu Johnson." Adam pulled Lu close, wrapping his arm around her shoulder in a possessive manner before kissing her cheek tenderly. He usually wasn't the kind of person who liked public displays of affection but Lu knew it was his way to put John Lark into his place right from the start, to make sure he was aware who she belonged to.

Lark was dangerously good looking and way too attractive for Adam to let it go without staking his claim. Not that Lu was interested in him, he wasn't even her type -too many muscles and probably too little brains- and she would never dare to even look at another man. But objectively he was very good looking, tall and broad shouldered, sharp jawline, a handsome face, outstanding blue eyes, and most of all he had an appeal that obviously hadn't remained hidden to Adam. "She's going to be your charge. I cherish her like life itself. Make sure you do the same when I'm not around."

Mayfield kissed her again and she blushed, obviously feeling uncomfortable being the center of attention.

"John," she said softly, extending her hand to him gracefully with a polite but distant smile on her pretty face. Just like her fiance she was strikingly beautiful but in comparison her beauty was a little steril, forced. She was lacking the naturalness Mayfield owned, maybe because she wasn't born into the social class she lived in now. It felt like she was wearing a mask. Her appearance was too immaculate to be real, too perfect. There had to be a crack in it, nobody was free of flaws, but whatever it was that was lying underneath the sleek, stainless surface, she was hiding it well.

"Miss Johnson." August shook her hand and held her gaze, giving her a smile and a respectful nod.

"Lu, please," she offered stiffly, pointing at the set dining table. "Why don't we sit."

"Yes, darling, you're right. Let's eat before the Beef Wellington gets cold."

***

August found all of his prejudice confirmed during dinner. Mayfield was a cocky prick, who tried to hide his asshole side under a veil of sophistication and British humour. That veil, luckily, was full of holes big enough for August to see right through.

Johnson however was an ice queen. Cool and aloof, not willing to lower herself to talk to the newest member of her royal court. He wanted nothing more than to ignore her, to make her feel that he wasn't in need of her attention, to make it clear that he wasn't attracted to her in any way. It was actually true. She was pretty of course and sexy, too, but the kind of beauty she represented was not his cup of tea. She was one of those ethereal beings who were much too fragile for him, too fanciful, too distant. Like a precious showpiece that was presented on a pedestal and that whispered "look at me" seductively but at the same time it shouted "don't touch…you're not worthy". He needed a woman to be more than beautiful, he liked women that were sturdy and energetic, lively and witty, confident and strong. He didn't want a queen, he wanted an amazon.

So all of this and more made him dislike her, but he still had to be friendly and charming to gain her trust and to make her fond of him without alarming Mayfield. He was obviously very possessive and protective, the jealous-for-no-reason kind of guy who would make his woman wear a chastity belt if it was socially acceptable. To sum it up, this job was a ride on the razor's edge.

"So how do you like your room, John?" Lu turned to him with a friendly smile. Those were the first words she addressed to him since they'd sat down to eat. Adam had engaged Lark in conversation from the very first moment and Lu took care not to interrupt him. He hated it and he'd accuse her of stealing his thunder afterwards for sure. So she kept quiet, trying to blend into the scenery, contenting herself with being not much more than a pretty ornament, decoration like the sculptures that were placed all over the penthouse - a beautiful, silent object. When Adams' phone rang, he took the call with an apologetic smile, leaving the room in a hurry. Now she was forced to make conversation with her new bodyguard and she felt uncomfortable and awkward because she assumed that he didn't like her. He had seen her and he had branded her, just like anybody else, she was quite sure of that.

"It's great, I like the modern style," August said, returning her smile.

"Really? I'm so glad to hear that." Her face lit up in an instant, her lips curling up into a genuine smile. "I refurbished it a few months ago and Eddie... your predecessor… he didn't really like it."

"Oh, why's that?"

Lu took a deep breath before she answered. "I'm not sure, I never asked him. I didn't want to put him on the spot, but I guess it wasn't cosy in his eyes. Not warm enough. He was a very traditional man…," Lu said and her expression softened with her words, her eyes giving away that she had liked the guy, that she was mourning him.

Not the ice queen you pretend to be, August thought surprised.

"Well, I'm not a traditionalist, I like it bright and clear. The black and white photos are really interesting."

"Aren't they?" Lu agreed with excitement that made her voice sound different, like it had just been brought to life. "They are works by a very talented young artist from France. I discovered her art when we were in Paris last year and now I exhibit her photographs in my gallery. People love her unique take on everyday life, the way she plays with light and angles. She's one of my most successful…"

"Don't bore your new guardian angel to death with your art stuff on the very first day, honey," Adam interrupted her chuckling, when he joined them again.

"I was just talking about the pictures in John's room."

"Sure, and those are lovely pictures," he gave her a generous smile and a peck on the cheek, "but we both know you tend to babble on about the topic and that can be a little unnerving."

"Of course, you're right, darling." Lu's mask was back on, her expression blank again. "I'm sorry, John. Sometimes I forget that most people don't share my passion for art. Consider yourself lucky that Adam saved you just in time."

John gave her a nod and a smile. He wanted to say something, feeling the need to let her know that she hadn't been boring him, but before he was able to do so, Adam carried on with their conversation about his new job and his duties and the wasted chance to show his solidarity with her left a bitter taste in John Lark's mouth.

*******

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke @littleone65 @coloraturadiva

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #august walker #august walker x ofc #august walker fanfiction #slow burn

[kpop-zone]

A Little Longer pt.2 | Jennie

Warnings: mentioning of alcohol and anxiety

Wordcount: 8,479

A/N: Thank you guys for your support on the first part. It really warmed my heart to read all of your kind messages <3 Here’s the much requested second part. Um it’s quite angsty, so everyone with a weak heart (me haha) shouldn’t probably read it...

Part 1 Part 3

“Stop. Let her live in peace.”

Jennie flinched in surprise when Jiyong suddenly stepped into her field of vision, causing her to blink a few times to snap back into reality.

“W-what?”

She asked confused because she had been too engrossed in scanning the faces of the guests to process the words of her friend.

“We both know that you are looking for Y/N.”

He sighed causing Jennie to look to the floor in embarrassment. Either she had been too obvious, or he knew her too well.

“Don’t.”

Jiyong’s voice was firm and almost aggressive, but Jennie didn’t hold it against him. He was your friend too and he was right. She shouldn’t be searching for you; after all, it had been her that had pushed you away in the first place. The temptation, however, of just getting a glimpse of you tonight had been too strong to resist. Thoughts of you had haunted her since the day that Jiyong had given her the invite to the vernissage. He didn’t talk about you often considering his loyalty to both of you, but Jennie knew without a confirmation that you would be here tonight.

Therefore, her eyes had automatically started scanning the crowd for your face the second she had stepped into the building. Jennie was well aware that there was no logical reason for her to seek for you tonight, but so many questions had piled up in her head that she couldn’t stop herself. Did you still look the same? Would you be here with someone else? Would you be looking for her?

She told herself that curiosity was her only motivator for her wandering gaze. But then as the crowd suddenly started to turn against her, Jennie couldn’t deny anymore that it wasn’t only curiosity that made her crave you. A desire to have you by her side suddenly flared up. You had always been her safety net in moments like this and she wished that she could cling to your hand to find new strength. She knew that it was a selfish desire, but something about you had always caused her to lose all control over her feelings. So she had started to look for you. Jiyong, however, had snapped her out of her emotional drunkenness. His scolding felt like a slap in the face and managed to sober her up again.

What was she thinking?

She needed to stay away from you. Even a glance could break her neck. Therefore, she probably owed Jiyong a thank you, but right now she couldn’t stop herself from being embarrassed. He planted himself in front of her, scolding her like a little kid and making her feel two heads smaller under his piercing gaze.

“I’ve still not completely forgiven you for breaking her heart, but who knows... maybe it was for the better. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself to accept your decision. Now you need to stand up for your actions and stop playing games.”

Warningly Jiyong nudged her with his index finger, causing Jennie to nod in agreement. She knew that she couldn’t expect anything but disapproval from him, nevertheless, Jennie’s heart ached because of his harsh words. Like always, people only saw one side of the story and once again, she was the bad guy. The only one that had been able to see her true self were you. But Jennie assumed that she had ruined that picture of her in your head as well, the day that she had broken your heart. Maybe it was time to just embrace her true, monstrous self. All the people in this room hated her anyways, so she might as well be who everyone thinks she was.

With a glance around the crowd, Jennie noticed that people were still staring at her while hissing whispered words under their breaths, causing her to roll her eyes. She needed a break from this public presentation of hers. Therefore, she opted to just agree with Jiyong instead of starting a fight to be able to flee the scene.

“Understood.”

She said sweetly, despite feeling her perfect façade crumbling.

“Well I’m going to get myself a drink if that’s allowed.”

Jiyong rolled his eyes in response to her sarcasm but motioned her to leave.

Jennie flashed him one of her fake smiles before brushing past him with no intention, however, to seek the bar. All the chatter around her felt like someone was squeezing all the air out of her lungs and she needed to escape.

Feeling the burning gazes of the other guests on her, she tried to keep her composure until she reached the dimly lit hallway to the restroom. As soon as the others lost sight of her, she felt tears springing into her eyes and she stumbled blindly the rest of the way, while hiding her face behind her hands. Just before Jennie could reach the restrooms, however, she bumped forcefully into someone else, causing her to almost fall. Her gaze snapped up to apologize, but when she met the eyes of the other person, the little rest of air that had been inflating her lungs till now was forcefully knocked out.

“Y/N?”

She choked out, not having expected to see you from up close today. Everything else stopped moving around her and for a moment, she was only able to see your face, making her study every little detail until Jennie saw a familiar expression flashing over it.

Concern.

It made her remember that tears were burning in her eyes. But she didn’t want you to worry about her. Her business was none of your concern anymore. Therefore, she quickly put a gummy smile on that she had practiced in the mirror a thousand times for moments like this.

“It’s been a while! How are you doing?”

Jennie asked, proud of herself for sounding so cheerful. She almost made herself believe that she was fine.

Almost.

A part of her, however, still hadn’t quite processed the fact that she was standing in front of you again. Her eyes kept scanning every single detail of your face, curious to see whether anything had changed. But with every passing second, it was harder for her to concentrate on your physical appearance as she could see that your demeanor was drastically changing. Your eyes darted from her face, to the empty hallway behind her to the floor. You seemed nervous, almost scared if Jennie were to guess.

Your distraught look took her attention away from your beautiful lips and rosy cheeks; instead she noticed how black circles underneath your eyes were contrasting your unusual pale skin, making her furrow her brow in concern. What was going on? You seemed to be drifting off as you stayed quiet and your eyes stared right through her, leading to an uncomfortable silence in the hallway that was only disturbed by the faint bass of the music in the big hall.

“Y/N?”

Hoping to snap you back into reality, Jennie broke the silence, causing you to clear your throat awkwardly.

“Um... fine. I’m perfectly fine.”

You stuttered as your gaze flickered up to meet her eyes before getting lost in the distance again.

Irritation suddenly started making Jennie feel annoyed. You were lying. She had always been able to see right through you. Why did you think that you were able to fool her now? She needed to know the truth though.

Without hesitation, she reached out and wrapped her fingers around your wrist to grab your attention. As if someone was threatening you with a gun, your gaze snapped up and you looked at her with wide eyes.

“That’s a lie.”

Jennie stated almost coldly, feeling lightly amused by your panicked expression.

“W-what? Don’t be silly.”

Your nervousness was clearly showing now.

Jennie had to fight back the urge to chuckle as you had subconsciously started walking backwards like you were standing in front of a lion. You had always made it so easy for her to throw you off balance.

Some things apparently never changed.

It was wrong to toy with you right now, but it reminded Jennie of old times when she made you flustered in public, just to have you begging for more when you came home later. This game had always been one of her favorites, giving her the kick that she needed sometimes to survive her everyday life.

She would just have a little more fun with you tonight before letting you go. It was just what she needed.

“Really? Then why are you shaking?”

Jennie lowered her voice teasingly while smirking triumphantly when you hid your hands behind your back.

“I’m not.”

You blurted out, causing Jennie to let out a mischievous laugh. You were getting more adorable with every second.

Suddenly, however, you piped up with a relatively firm voice.

“How are you though? I heard about the dating scandal.”

Your taunting tone came unexpected, taking Jennie off guard for a second.

You had never been one to fight dirty. No matter how nasty an argument had been, you would always refuse to stoop to a lower level. Your words were thoughtfully chosen, and you’d rather let her win the argument before hurting her with a mean comment.

This trait of yours, however, seemed to have changed.

Jennie knew that you had seen the people gossiping about her earlier. And she knew that you were aware of her biggest weakness: she had always allowed the public to hurt her more than she should. Apparently, you wanted to use this weakness to your benefit right now and rise above her. But your plan had one error. Opposing to you, she wouldn’t fight fair. No, she knew how to work your triggers.

“What can I say, fame always comes with hate.”

Her words shot right through the walls that were surrounding you, making you gulp thickly in response. She knew that she could make you insecure with memories of the past. Your nostalgia had always been one of your biggest enemies.

“Do you remember how you used to take care of me when I was involved in another scandal?”

With every brick that she managed to break out of the wall that was only shakily protecting you right now, she took a step closer, feasting on your obvious inferiority. Jennie couldn’t even tell what all of this was for. What would she do if you were backed up against the wall and couldn’t flee anymore? The only thing she knew was that the tension between the two of you was unbearable and that she needed some form of relief. She would leave it up to you in which form she would get it. But first, she needed to make your resistance turn to dust. And she knew exactly how to do that.

“I miss those times.”

The lethal words rolled easily over her tongue, eliciting precisely the reaction that she had wanted to see in you.

Your breath hitched in your throat and all of your movements stilled, making it possible for Jennie to press her body against yours.

“Jennie.”

Your voice was only above a whisper, making your effort of pushing her away useless as it sounded more like a plea to continue. And who was she to deny you what you wanted? Therefore, Jennie leaned into you, placing her mouth just inches next to your ear, causing shivers to run down your neck.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

The moment her breathed words reached your ear, all resistance left your body, making your hands fall to your side. Jennie would have never forced you to do something that you didn’t want to do, but your changed demeanor was enough consent for her to roughly shove you inside of the restroom. Impatiently she checked the stalls for other guests before devoting all her attention to you again.

You were standing in the middle of the room like a lost puppy, making the urge to claim you hers almost unbearable. Even if she had tried to seduce you, she was feeling her own skin burn in need of your touch by now. But she needed to contain herself. This joy wouldn’t be hers for long, considering the public accessibility of this place, so she needed to savor every second of it.

Slowly she walked into your direction, feeling your burning gaze on her that made her heart rate pick up and heat spread in her lower body. You were driving her insane. But apparently, she wasn’t the only one that was desperate to finally cut through this tension. You were desperately pressing your legs together while shifting from one foot to the other, causing her to laugh. She loved to see how much you needed her right now. Nevertheless, she couldn’t torture you any longer. It was a question of time till someone would knock on the door and she knew that your willingness to take this further was a fragile matter that could crumble in her hands any second.

Therefore, Jennie pinned you against the sink and pressed her body against yours.

“Impatient, are we?”

She chuckled to savor your embarrassment a little longer, but when you shyly looked to the floor, she quickly forced you to look at her.

You shouldn’t be ashamed because of your desire; not when she wanted this exactly as much as you did. Maybe the circumstances forbade her to tell you how much she longed for your touch, but she would make sure to show you.

“Don’t be embarrassed, baby. I’ve made you wait too long, haven’t I?”

Without losing any other words, Jennie greedily unbuttoned your pants while watching how your breath hitched in your throat. Both of your waiting needed to come to an end immediately.

“Lucky for you, we don’t have all night. So I won’t make you wait any longer.”

Her words had barely left her mouth before Jennie crashed her lips into yours full of desire. The sensation made her feel dizzy and she needed to choke down a moan. She wanted to explore every single part of your body tonight and she hated the fact that this restroom could only serve for a quickie. If it were up to her, she would love you all night. But it wouldn’t take long till somebody would disturb the two of you, so Jennie worked all the weak spots on your body in lightning speed. Her lips covered every inch of your skin that she could reach with openmouthed kisses while her fingers started massaging your nipples expertly, making your panting grow louder with every second. Just when you finally rewarded her with a low moan, however, someone suddenly pushed down the door handle of the restroom, causing you to push her away. Jennie almost huffed in frustration. Why did you make it so hard for her? She was way too touch starved right now to be bothered by anything.

If she were in her right mind, she would probably see this as a sign from the universe to stop this insanity, but unfortunately, she was way too drunk on you to listen to her better judgement. She needed more of you. Therefore, she quickly pushed you back in place.

“It’s locked, babe. Don’t worry.”

Jennie winked at you before letting her hands wander your body again, but you seemed to be distracted now. You wanted to talk back as she slid her hands down your sides, but she simply shut you up with a kiss.

“They can use the other bathroom. But I promise to make it quick.”

She stated after swallowing your words while already undressing your lower half. You didn’t object, but Jennie still knew that the danger of you bolting last minute and leaving her behind completely unsatisfied was very high. She needed to make it impossible for you to leave. Therefore, she connected your lips again and started sliding her hands to your butt. Without hesitation, you pressed your body harder against hers and grabbed her neck to hold her lips in place.

Choked moans left your mouth, telling Jennie that you were ready for more. You had tried to create your own friction by pressing your legs together, but this was her pleasure. Therefore, Jennie separated your thighs to pump two fingers inside of you without a warning. You were taken off guard and needed to steady yourself on the sink while she started to pleasure you in a steady rhythm. Eventually though, your legs were too weak to support your weight and Jennie pulled you as close as humanly possible to prevent you from falling. As she thrusted deep inside you, you buried your head in her neck, making her heart flutter involuntarily. She knew that you only did it to muffle your moans, but Jennie couldn’t help but savor the feeling of this closeness. Your favorite position to fall asleep had always been closely intertwined with her and after the two of you had broken up, she had found it hard to sleep. Finally, however, she could feel again what she had been missing; even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

Suddenly Jennie tasted salt on her lips. Perplexed, she looked at herself in the mirror and realized that she had started crying. Panicked, she wiped her cheeks on her shoulder to hide her tears from you. You weren’t allowed to see this side of her again. You were supposed to think that this was nothing but a way to release tension.

Jennie cursed herself inwardly for being so emotional. She needed to get back into her zone again; be the coldhearted demon that everyone thought she was. Therefore, she quickly pushed your head back and kissed you roughly in order to clear her thoughts. But no matter how hard she tried, this was so much more to her than just sex. As you threw your head back, Jennie studied your body and was left in awe. You were looking so flawless and your moans resonating in the room made her feel high.

Your walls started clenching around her fingers, indicating that you were close, but Jennie couldn’t find satisfaction in this achievement this time; instead, her heart felt heavy. Once you would come undone, this connection between the two of you would get lost again and she wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. Therefore, she pulled away every time she was about to hit the right spot, making you become impatient. You whined cutely, causing her to giggle.

“Does that feel good?”

Jennie asked cheekily while leaning into you and caressing you with kisses.

“Please...”

You choked out in response while weakly rolling your hips into her hand.

Finally earning her pity, Jennie decided to end your torture even if it meant that it would start hers. She knew that she had to walk away right after this; still desperate for your touch and with a bad conscious killing her. But those were concerns for later. Now she wanted to savor every second of your high.

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

Jennie whispered into your ear before finally thrusting her fingers deeper into you to hit the right spot.

She could feel you losing control as your moans got louder and your movements sloppier until the tension in your body finally released and you slumped into her arms. Jennie helped you to ride out your high as long as possible; to maximize your pleasure, but also to save herself some more time with you. While you leaned against her and caught your breath, she closed her eyes to recollect herself. She was still feeling shaken up. Nevertheless, she needed to find a way to hide her feelings.

You just couldn’t know.

With a last deep breath, Jennie eventually pushed you off her, making her miss your body as soon as your warmth left her. You supported your weight on the sink while your chest was still rising and falling in a rapid pace. But Jennie needed to avert her gaze from you. You were looking so vulnerable right now and she wished that she could hold you in her arms to whisper loving words into your ear. It broke her heart to see you uncomfortably tugging on your clothes. You had never hidden your body before. The two of you had always been so comfortable around each other, but that had changed since you weren’t hers anymore.

Feeling herself getting choked up again, Jennie quickly rushed to the sink to wash her hands. Your gaze followed her, but she tried her best to block it out. There was no use in caving in now. Maybe you couldn’t see it right now, but eventually you would realize that she had done everything for you.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Jennie decided that for once she couldn’t be selfish. You deserved someone better than her, so she needed to finally let you live in peace. For you, she needed to be strong and put her ice mask on. You needed to believe that there was nothing of the old Jennie left in her.

With a gaze as cold as ice, Jennie eventually turned around and saw you still leaning against the sink. Nonchalantly, she took some paper towels and shoved them into your hands.

“Clean up.”

Jennie demanded before strutting to the door. She could see you flinching as if you were about to run after her.

So you were still holding on to her; after all this time.

But you needed to stop. The Jennie that you had known was an illusion. She was a monster; selfish, cold and calculating. You finally needed to let her go. Collecting all her strength, Jennie threw a last glance at you. It was emotionless and empty in hopes that you would finally give up on her if you saw that she was nothing but an empty shell.

For a second, Jennie was caught by your fragile looks again but then she quickly slipped out the door before she would change her mind. As soon as she was standing in the hallway, however, her façade crumbled to dust and she clutched her chest as an overwhelming pain shot through her heart. Maybe you would not waste a single thought on her after tonight, but she would never be able to leave your relationship behind.

The thought of this being the last time that she would see you made Jennie’s stomach turn, causing an unbearable nausea to rise inside of her. Instantly her palms became sweaty and a familiar pressure in her chest cut off her windpipe. Everything was just too much for her in this moment and she knew that it wouldn’t take long for her body to have a breakdown unless she stopped herself from spiraling.

Hoping that some fresh air, could make her mind cool down, Jennie stumbled to the back exit, bolting through it as if her life depended on it. Gladly she ended up standing in an empty side alley where no one would see her even if she broke down. Wanting to prevent that, however, she supported herself on the wall while tumbling over to catch her breath. Although it was dead-silent in the alley, Jennie had the feeling that she was standing in an overcrowded club. Her blood was roaring her in her ears and her head was buzzing, making her feel dizzy. She concentrated on her breathing, but it felt like she was being sucked into an undertow that she couldn’t escape.

Desperate sobs escaped her lips as she couldn’t pull herself out of this downward spiral on her own. In the past, you had always been her emergency exit, but of course she had managed to mess that up like everything in her life. Who was supposed to save her now?

“Jennie?”

A sudden voice and sensation on her shoulder made her rip her head around.

To her dismay, however, she wasn’t met with your face, but Jiyong’s instead. Confusion was written all over it and he insecurely patted her back.

“What are you doing here?”

Jennie choked out as she tried to catch her breath again.

“You triggered the silent alarm, so the security informed me.”

He explained while assessing her miserable state.

Jennie almost rolled her eyes. Jiyong had managed to rip her out of her downward spiral, but she wasn’t glad to see him; she wasn’t in the mood to talk right now. He would never just let her leave without an explanation though.

“What is going on?”

He asked expectedly and Jennie quickly avoided his gaze to make herself be less predictable.

“Nothing...”

She mumbled under her breath, but Jiyong quickly lifted her chin up and made her look at him.

“Sure. You’re having a panic attack in this disgusting alley for nothing...”

He sounded impatient and Jennie closed her eyes in hopes to find herself in her bed once she opened them again. But when she peaked one eye open, she was still standing in front of her best friend who waited for an explanation. Therefore, Jennie sighed in defeat and prepared to recount the incidents of the night.

“It’s Y/N...”

As soon as Jiyong heard your name, he pinched the bridge of his nose frustratedly. It was probably hard to be constantly caught between the frontlines. But Jennie didn’t force him to be friends with her. It was his choice, so he should be able to assess things objectively. Therefore, she continued telling him everything -without going too much into detail of course- causing him to look at her enraged.

“What is wrong with you?”

He yelled and Jennie wished more than ever that it hadn’t been him that found her here.

“What about ‘Let her live in peace’ didn’t you understand?”

It was obvious that he just wanted to make everything right; be a good friend to her and to you. But little did he know that he had just managed to rip the wound open again that Jennie had tried to close painstakingly.

“How could you have seduced her? Just to play your evil games? Do you know how long it took her to live a normal life again?”

Jiyong talked himself into a rage, not realizing how more and more tears started pooling in Jennie’s eyes. Little cracks started to cross her heart, making it hard to hold back all the pain that she had trapped inside. This bubble of misery wanted to burst, pressing against the walls of her heart making its surface chap.

“You left her. You broke her heart. You destroyed her life.”

His words were the final straw, causing Jennie to burst into tears. A gut-wrenching sob escaped her lips as she couldn’t hold in all the pain anymore. Her body started trembling and Jennie crouched down to the floor to hug her own legs in hopes to make herself feel less vulnerable.

“Do you think I wanted to leave her??”

Jennie sobbed, feeling her lungs starting to burn from the lack of oxygen.

Jiyong looked at her perplexed because of her sudden burst of emotions, but Jennie just couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. Realizing that he might have pressed the wrong buttons, Jiyong wrapped his arms around her, making Jennie’s urge to tell the secret that she had kept for so long unbearable.

She was tired of telling the wrong story. For once, she wanted someone to see everything from the perspective of the bad guy.

---

“No, no, no please don’t make me do that.”

Jennie sobbed while tears were blurring her view.

“You had it coming, Jennie. You knew our deal. One more scandal and it’s over.”

Hyunsuk said coldly without any regard to her emotional state.

“But it wasn’t my fault! We just went out for a drink. There were others with us.”

She yelled in desperation, hoping to break through the apathy of the rigorous CEO.

“Do you think anyone cares? The pictures show a different story. Once again, your name is all over the news because of a misconduct of yours. Apparently, you are not able to take care of your reputation, so I will do it for you now.”

He scoffed, causing Jennie’s blood to boil. As her manager, he was supposed to take care of her and her interests. But he couldn’t care less about them. Instead of taking her side and defending her from the false accuses, he was just searching for the easiest solution.

“We can surely ask the bar owner to confirm that we went out as a group. It wasn’t just Minkyu and I.”

She desperately tried to come up with her own solution.

She couldn’t lose you.

“No one would believe that! This is the perfect dating scandal. Everyone is talking about it. The decisions that you make are always questionable. But that is over now. I will make the decisions from now on. So you will break up with Y/N.”

His last sentence caused Jennie’s blood to freeze. She couldn’t believe that he tried to use this scandal to break up her relationship. You had nothing to do with it. But your relationship had been a thorn in his flesh from the beginning, so he wanted to have you out of the picture. And now he had finally found a way to do exactly that.

“I will not break up with Y/N!”

Jennie talked back defiantly, but Hyunsuk only looked at her with an arrogant gaze.

“Fine. But then you’re out of the group.”

His threat came unexpected, causing Jennie to gasp.

“You can’t do that!”

She exclaimed in shock, leading to a mischievous laugh of her boss.

“Of course, I can. Your contract says that you are allowed to date with the approval of the management. Hereby, we revoke that approval.”

A sly grin formed on his lips, making Jenny want to wipe it off his face with her hands. She clenched her fists and looked at Hyunsuk full of hatred. But she knew that there was nothing that she could do. He had the winning hand. No matter which decision Jennie made, she would lose.

It was either you or her career.

---

“I’m a monster, Jiyong. Do you understand? I chose my career over Y/N.”

There hadn’t been a day since the breakup that Jennie didn’t regret her choice. In the moment, she had thought that music could eventually be enough. She loved performing and she had sacrificed so much to become an idol. It had simply not seemed possible for her to give up on all that. But now a year later, she was smarter. She knew that she couldn’t live without you either.

“You’re not a monster, Jennie. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I can’t believe he made you do that.”

Jiyong was absolutely dumbfounded and disbelief was written all over his face.

“He didn’t make me do it. I could have chosen Y/N. But I didn’t, because I’m selfish.”

New tears rolled down Jennie’s cheeks as regret consumed her whole body.

“Don’t say that. Y/N wouldn’t have wanted you to give up your career for her. But...why didn’t you just tell her the real reason?”

Jiyong asked confused and Jennie lowered her head in shame.

“Because deep down I knew that it was the wrong decision. I was so scared that Y/N would ask me to stay; I wouldn’t have been strong enough to walk out if she would have told me to choose her. I needed Y/N to hate me, so that there was no going back for me.”

In hindsight, Jennie regretted nothing more than her cowardice. The truth would have been the least that you deserved. But once again, her own selfish needs had been more important to her.

Jennie buried her face in her hands while Jiyong desperately tried to cheer her up.

“It’s not too late though. You can still tell Y/N the truth.”

Jiyong suggested, but Jennie only scoffed in response.

“What for? Don’t you listen? I’m selfish and everything about me is wrong! Y/N should be with someone better.”

Jennie had given up on the idea of cleaning up her mess a long time ago. In the first weeks after the breakup, she had found herself several times in front of your building, wanting to beg for your forgiveness. But the knowledge that you were probably hating her, had always held her back. And now it was simply too late. There was no use in trying to change the course of time.

“What for?! To finally end both of your suffering!”

Jiyong practically yelled in disbelief, causing Jennie to look at him perplexed.

Both of you? Did that mean that you were you suffering like her? Was that the reason that you looked so pale?

“Y/N is suffering?”

Jennie cursed herself for the hope in her voice. She should feel bad for hearing that your broken heart had apparently not healed till now, but something inside of her was glad that you hadn’t moved on; it was the part that she had tried to destroy throughout the year, because it was still causing her to drive by your apartment from time to time.

“Yes. I know she thinks that no one noticed. But I can see how her smile never quite reaches her eyes and how she’s not brimming over with life anymore.”

Jiyong sighed worriedly, making Jennie realize that the two of you were miserable fellows.

How could it be that both of you were still suffering after all this time? Maybe you just weren’t meant to be happy.

Or maybe you were just supposed to be together.

Jennie immediately banned that thought from her head. She had put this relationship behind. She had made the decision to prioritize her career, so now she should stand up for it. It wouldn’t be fair to poke around the past.

But once that thought had been planted in her head, it was impossible for Jennie to stop it from spreading. Jiyong asked her to come back inside and enjoy the rest of the vernissage, but mentally she was far from being in that old warehouse. You seemed to have vanished into thin air, but that didn’t stop Jennie from thinking about you nonstop. Her mind was a cinema that showed her pictures of you in a loop. The dark circles under your eyes, the way your breath hitched because of her touch, the panic in your face when she left you standing in the restroom. Could it be? Were you still hung up on her?

Jennie martyred her brain with this question. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, but she still couldn’t figure out what to do. All this time, she had thought that it was impossible to go back to before the two of had broken up. She had not only broken your heart. But she had broken it, because she had chosen something else over you. You deserved better. You deserved someone that put you first, no matter what. Therefore, she had decided to never be selfish again; to let you go. But after hearing from Jiyong how hard the breakup still was on you, her mind couldn’t find a peaceful moment. He had planted the thought of a second chance in her heart. Maybe you could learn to forgive her. Maybe you would show her mercy after learning the whole story.

To protect her heart, she had built this wall around it, made of self-hatred and hopelessness. It was supposed to prevent her from caving in and running back to you. But the seed of hope managed to grow despite the hostile environment. Its sprouts broke little cracks into this wall in the course of months until there was nothing left in Jennie any more than confusion and longing.

She needed to know whether there was still a chance.

What if she was being selfish by denying you the opportunity of getting back together? What if the two of you were just meant to be?

---

The urge of telling you the whole story grew and grew until Jennie couldn’t suppress it anymore one night. As so often in the past weeks, she had gone out to drown her sorrows when she eventually found herself in front of your apartment complex. It hadn’t been her intention to end up there, but her feet had carried her automatically. With the liquid courage fueling her, she dragged her feet to your door, just to find out that it wasn’t yours anymore. A tired and annoyed looking woman in her 50s grumpily opened the door, causing Jennie to stumble backwards.

You had moved?

It reminded her that she wasn’t part of your life anymore, making her even more desperate. Hastily Jennie rushed out of the building and dialed your number.

The number you dialed is not in service.

Like it was making fun of her, the robotic voice on the other line repeated this sentence over and over again until Jennie crouched down on the pavement, grasping her hair in frustration.

“Y/N, I need you.”

She mumbled to herself, thinking about other ways to reach you.

Jiyong. Of course.

Jennie was sure that her best friend was still in contact with you. Since her breakdown at the vernissage, they hadn’t talked about you anymore, but she knew that he wouldn’t end your friendship unless he had a solid reason. Therefore, he had to have your address or at least your number.

Determined, Jennie called a driver and ordered them to bring her to Jiyong’s apartment as quickly as possible. Not caring that it was already 5 am, she banged against his door until he opened it with a bewildered look in his face.

“Jennie, what the hell is wrong with you?”

He cursed, but Jennie couldn’t care less.

“Give me Y/N’s number.”

She slurred, causing Jiyong to look at her confused.

“What?”

He asked, the sleep not having left his body completely yet.

“I want her back, Jiyong. You need to give me her number.”

Jennie almost sounded sober all of a sudden, her desire of making everything right this time feeling like a wakeup call.

“I can’t do that, Jennie.”

Jiyong sighed causing her to furrow her brow.

“Why not?”

She couldn’t understand why her friend always seemed to be working against her wellbeing. Slowly she was beginning to wonder on which side he was on.

“Because I’m pretty sure that Y/N doesn’t want me to give you her number. Let her move on.”

Jiyong’s voice was soft, but it couldn’t have fueled Jennie’s rage more. Let you move on? No, she couldn’t let you do that. The two of you were meant to be. It had taken her a while to understand, but her eyes were wide open now. There was no way that she would let you go another time.

“Please, Jiyong. I can fix it; I can fix everything.”

She begged, but her supposed friend shook his head sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, Jennie. But I can’t. I’m her friend too.”

Jennie didn’t know if the universe had fun putting obstacles in her way, but slowly she was losing patience. She was trying to do the right thing here, but no matter what she tried, it always seemed to be wrong. This was a cause worth fighting for though, she wouldn’t let herself be forced to her knees.

“Then host a dinner party. Like old times. Don’t just invite Y/N and me. Invite the old clique. We can have fun again and if the opportunity will pop up, I will be honest with Y/N. If not, I promise that I won’t make a scene, but will let her go.”

Her last words only rolled hesitantly over Jennie’s lips and left a bitter aftertaste. But she meant them.

This would be her final try. If the universe decided to take the thing that was dearest in her life from her, she would accept it and continue living her miserable life in order to give you the one that you deserved.

Jiyong looked at her skeptically, but eventually gave in to her pleading look.

“Fine. But I’ll hold you to your promise.”

He said warningly, but Jennie couldn’t be happier in this moment. She flew into the arms of her friend, who only managed to catch her in the last second, and repeated thankyous over and over again.

“I’m doing this to set you both free.”

Jiyong responded cryptically, causing Jennie to look at him in confusion for a second before anticipation filled her whole body.

She couldn’t even wait to finally see you again.

---

Everything went way too slow for Jennie. It took days till Jiyong finally sent out the invites and the set date for the dinner party was almost a month from then. Of course, there hadn’t been another way to plan this, because no one would have had time if the dinner were to happen on an earlier date, but Jennie’s impatience was still growing every day.

When the long-awaited day finally came around, she felt like passing out. Her hands were shaking so much that she was barely able to do her makeup and get ready. But eventually, she found herself standing in front of Jiyong’s door again, more or less presentable and with a bottle of wine in her hands. Soon after she knocked, the door swung open and she was met with the face of her friend.

“Jennie.”

He nodded slightly and Jennie wondered why he was so serious. Not being able to stifle her own joy though, she told herself that his worries had to wait for now. All her attention was focused on you tonight.

Therefore, she only quickly greeted Jiyong before brushing past him to rush to the dining room. Excitedly she scanned the guests some of whom waved at her happily, but Jennie only briefly reciprocated the gesture, her mind still revolving around you.

“She’s not here yet.”

Jennie flinched when Jiyong’s deep voice appeared right behind her.

“But she will come, right?”

Fear suddenly washed over her. What if you didn’t even want to be in one room with her?

“Yes.”

Jiyong simply answered, making a huge weight fall off Jennie’s heart.

Having learned from the best, however, you didn’t seem to be in a rush to join the party. Jennie had always made sure to appear late to everything in order to make a dramatic entrance. And now you seemed to intend to do the same thing. All the guests were already engrossed in a comfortable chatter, but you were still not there, having her on pins and needles. She only listened halfheartedly to the irrelevant words around her and couldn’t stop herself from drifting into distance with her mind.

When would you finally come? You hadn’t changed your mind, had you?

Eventually her waiting came to an end though. The moment the doorbell rang, Jennie almost leaped to her feet and ran to the door; but managed to recollect herself in the last moment. Jiyong threw a scowling gaze at her before beginning to move towards the door. Nervously Jennie began shifting in her chair as her heart slammed violently against her ribcage, making everything around her seem to fly by. But suddenly the world stopped spinning when you appeared in the entrance of the dining room. With a wide smile you looked at Jiyong before turning your gaze to the other guests. Everything turned into a blur the moment your eyes met hers and Jennie felt her heart stop beating.

You were still as breathtaking as ever.

Jennie took in every little detail of you and couldn’t stop a wide grin from forming on her lips. She would never get tired of this view. From one second to the next, however, she was ripped out of her trance. An unfamiliar face suddenly appeared right behind you, accompanied by an arm snaking around your waist. Confused, Jennie watched how you turned your head to face the other woman and to gift her with one of your loving smiles that you had only ever given her.

As if someone had emptied a bucket of ice-cold water over her head, Jennie felt the giddy feeling in her stomach turn into brutal soberness. She had to watch how you interlaced your fingers with the unknown woman and guided her to the table where you were greeted with excited chatter from the other guests.

“Y/N, I hope this is just your sister.”

One of them joked with a disgusting smirk on their face, causing you to fake a laugh.

“Sorry to disappoint, but she is off limits for you. May I introduce you to my girlfriend Subin.”

You smiled proudly as the others all bowed their heads politely.

But Jennie was frozen in place. Your girlfriend? In disbelief, she stared at the two of you as tears involuntarily started to pool in her eyes.

No.

This had to be a nightmare. This couldn’t be reality after all that she had been through. Anxiously Jennie started biting her cheek, but no matter how much pain shot through her body, she didn’t wake up. You kept standing in front of her, fondly looking at a woman that wasn’t her.

Once again everything faded into the background around you. But this time it was due to the lack of oxygen that Jennie was supplied with. A heavy weight that was made of pain, sadness and misery pressed down on her chest, making it impossible to breathe. The longer she looked at the two of you, the more it seemed like her ribcage was breaking underneath the force. Jennie could physically feel her body shattering, but she couldn’t avert her gaze.

It was what she deserved.

An evil, little voice in the back of her head kept repeating this sentence over and over again. Mockingly it sang a song about all the wrongdoings she had committed. Why should you have waited for her? It was exactly like she had always known: you deserved someone better than her. In a moment of weakness and guided by false hope, she had made herself believe that she could be enough for you. But it had been a lie.

Someone as rotten as her couldn’t be enough to provide you with the things that you needed.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as full realization hit her. Jennie’s body started shaking uncontrollably, resulting from her effort to choke back her sobs. She needed to get out of here. But she couldn’t make a scene. She had promised it to Jiyong. Panicked, Jennie looked around in search for an emergency exit. But there was none and slowly the other guests averted their gazes from the two of you, returning their attention to the rest of the table again.

“Jennie?”

Jiyong’s voice momentarily stopped the pressure in her chest to increase and she looked at him imploringly.

“Um...can you help me in the kitchen with something?”

He asked when he noticed Jennie’s tear-stained face, causing her to leap to her feet and run out the room while trying to hide her face as best as possible.

Once Jennie arrived in the kitchen, a sob left her lips and she needed to support herself on the kitchen counter in order to not break down.

“She’s happy, Jennie.”

Jiyong simply said as he joined her in the kitchen, causing her heart to clench.

“Why didn’t you warn me?”

Jennie growled as she turned around with anger and hurt in her eyes.

“Because you needed to see it for yourself. You can let her go now.”

Jiyong’s words sounded so easy to accomplish, but how could she let you go?

How could she do such a thing if she knew that afterwards nothing would be left in her life that was worth fighting for. She had long lost the joy that she had found in music, because it had been the reason for losing you. And her family and friends weren’t much of a comfort either, because none of them looked at her the way that you had. How was she supposed to be good if you didn’t remind her of her true self? How was she supposed to not turn into the cold demon that everyone made her to be? It was so hard not to get lost in all the malicious words that swung at her every day.

What was a lie? What was the truth?

There was no point, however, in trying to find the answer anymore. Truth or lie, she was the bad guy in this story. It had been up to the people to decide and it had just been too easy to assign this role to her. After all, she was the rich, arrogant and sly idol, wasn’t she? It was time to stop fighting her destiny.

A sudden soberness washed over Jennie, causing her tears to cease. If she wasn’t supposed to love, she wouldn’t allow herself to feel anything at all.

“A-are you alright?”

Jiyong stuttered perplexed and Jennie flickered her cold gaze up to meet his eyes.

“Never been better.”

She replied accompanied with a tight smile. Her friend kept looking at her in confusion and worry, making her giggle.

“I’m fine, Jiyong. Go to the other guests. I’ll join you in a minute.”

Her voice was calm and collected, showing no signs of the breakdown that she had had just a second ago. She nodded assuring, causing Jiyong to eventually leave her behind in order to be a good host to the other guests.

As soon as he had left the kitchen, Jennie’s smile faltered and left behind a cold façade. Her gaze wandered along the counters and eventually found what she was looking for.

Alcohol; the perfect catalyst for her sought numbness.

Determined, she walked to the assorted bottles and grabbed a random high-proof one. As she opened it up, Jennie thought back about the past months. The tragedy of everything made her chuckle. Wasn’t it funny how every decision that she had made to make herself happy had only caused the opposite?

At least you had finally found happiness though.

Your big smile when you were in the arms of that woman flashed by her inner eye and Jennie subconsciously grabbed the bottle harder. She would have given everything to be the cause for that smile one last time. But it just wasn’t meant to be. Everything that the two of you could apparently give each other was pain. She might as well make herself forget everything.

With that thought on her mind, Jennie lifted the bottle to her lips with no intent of putting it down until it was empty.

Just like her.

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