The Maugris reveal was bad for many narrative reasons but you have to admit it’s kinda funny that like 90% of evil wizards in the past 800 years were all secretly just Call
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"No. We don't stand a chance. We need to make our domain clear. That's why I can't stop looking at him."
Rayan is talking about facing a tiger. A TIGER. Okay. You go off king.
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Congratulations on Pawmi being in the single most disappointing evolution line of all time. It's LITERALLY just "it gets bigger and stands up" and not even in an appealing and funny way like Dudunsparce
--LEAKED SPOILERS BELOW USE CAUTION--
literally why in the fuck is it a three stage line. if it were two it would still be underwhelming, but three???
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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Unpopulär opinion : Argylle is a bad movie and absolutely not worth my money.
I'm PISSED that one of the version features a romantic heterosexual couple but in the other version, they're just buddies because they're two men.
If you're looking for something similar but funny and better played, watch The Lost City with Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum.
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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last thing about this from me i promise. actually i don't, fuck you if you don't like it
the "old web" space is extremely hostile to disabled people. there is a show of patting themselves on the back for linking accessibility resources they've never read, while at the same time flat out promoting inaccessible practices. the thing is, they don't make the page slightly more difficult to read, they make it impossible to.
if you're photosensitive, using an inaccessible page can flat out give you seizures in the case of epilepsy, or otherwise cause massive disabling migraines and other painful effects. if you're a screen reader user, be it because of blindness, dyslexia, or other print disabilities, depending on exactly what nonsense you've done to your website, it can read things in a nonsensical order, refuse to read at all, or flat out CRASH.
if you're out here saying that html is so easy and anyone can learn it, put your effort where your own mouth is and learn accessibility standards. don't be so fucking apathetic - if you think inaccessibility will save you from data harvesting, you frankly deserve it getting stolen
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