#a fake movie set toy town

[chrisbitchtree]

The one with the Indie Drama, or wait, was that an Horror Movie? Or wait, maybe it was a Romcom?

Harringrove Week day 1

Prompt - Trapped

1.8k - G

***

It’s not easy being the protagonist of an indie drama about a young man wandering aimlessly around a small town, but Steve’s accepted his fate after years of trying to escape into another genre.

When he first hears that they’re closing the Blockbuster on Main Street, he’s sad. He’s had a hard enough time accepting that his childhood was over, and it’s been made even worse seeing all the places he’s grown up with, like the Chuck E. Cheese, and the Toys R’ Us, and now his beloved Blockbuster, where he and Tommy had spent many a Friday night selecting the perfect movie for that week’s sleepover, closing.

The real kicker had is when Steve picks up the morning paper to see an announcement that a branch of the insidious Spirit Halloween would be opening in the Blockbuster building in the coming weeks and is going to have a hiring fair in the parking lot in two days. He sighs, knowing he needw a job since his seasonal position selling ice cream at the beach had ended two weeks ago, and his father won’t stand for Steve sleeping in and loafing around for much longer.

Finishing up his blueberry bagel and cup of coffee, he boots up the computer in the den and get to work updating his resume, hoping that really fleshing out his duties at the ice cream shop, and the shoe store before that, and the call centre before that, will hopefully him get some kind of managerial position. He knows jumping from job to job doesn’t look great, ok? He didn’t choose the ADHD life though, ok? It chose him, and he’s just trying to do his best. He doesn’t need our judgement.

Steve puts on his best khakis and polo, and by some miracle combination of his resume, his charm, and willingness to work literally whenever they want, he gets the position of assistant manager. The hiring manager tells him that she’ll see him in two days to start store setup, and he heads home to make the most of his last days of freedom.

***

Billy’s elated when he gets hired at Spirit Halloween, working alongside Steve Harrington. He needs all the time he can get to convince the brunette they’re meant to be together.

***

Two days later, Steve shows up at the store to start getting the store ready for opening day, and the first person he encounters is Billy Hargrove, directing a wolfish grin towards him. “Hey, pretty boy, fancy seeing you here. Give me a hand with these shelves?” Great, Steve thinks, sighing. He can’t go five minutes without the antagonist of his movie following him around. Life can’t go too well for Steve Harrington, of course. What’s a drama without any drama?

They spend the day piecing together shelving and hanging up costumes, working as fast as they can to get everything set for opening day, because God forbid the local population doesn’t have access to cheap, synthetic wigs, fake blood, and headbands featuring any animal ears you could dream of, ready to be sluttified when paired with lingerie from the Walmart on the edge of town.

He can’t wait to go to Halloween parties and stand brooding in the corner as the world spins madly on around him, as a good dramatic protagonist does.

***

Billy knows how he looks. He does own a mirror after all. He’s tall, blonde, buff and handsome. His looks lend well to being the antagonist in a drama film, ready shake up the protagonist’s sad little life, but he knows he has leading man in a romantic comedy potential as well. Look at him, for godsake, with his million-dollar smile and curly locks. He could sweep Steve off his feet, he’s sure of it, he just needs to be given a chance.

He drove all the way from California thinking that his task would be to find a beautiful man to woo, to love and protect, and the first time he’d seen Steve in the school parking lot, he’d felt ready to take on the role. He hadn’t anticipated having to take on two whole years of playing an angry jerk, and it’s taken a toll on Billy.

He thinks he’s found the perfect way to transition into a workplace romantic comedy when he shows up for his first day at his new job at Spirit Halloween, and in walks Steve, looking like a leading man himself, with his swoop of brown hair and big doe eyes. He lets out a long-suffering sigh and rolls those big eyes when he spots Billy, but doesn’t say much, just gets to work.

Oh well, the quiet gives Billy more time to plot how to get Steve. He’s put a lot of thought into it in the past, but never serious time and effort, because it didn’t take long to start to feel like it was a lost cause, and he’d be playing the antagonist forever, feeling unworthy of Steve, while Steve himself fawned over gorgeous manic pixie dream girls that he himself thought he could never get, even though Billy knows in his heart of heart they’re meant to be together. He know it sounds nuts, but we’ve all gone a little crazy in the name of love, right?

Now though, he feels ready. His time has come.

***

Steve’s starting to feel like he’s in one of those awful cringe comedies where nothing can go right, no matter how hard he tries, followed around all day by Billy chattering his ear off, always poking fun. And just when he feels like he can’t take it anymore, he takes a sharp turn into horror movie territory on Halloween night.

He and Billy are scheduled to close the store together, and they’ve just ushered their last customer on a panicked search through the slim remains of the store looking for a last-minute costume out the front door and locked it behind them, when the power suddenly goes out. It wouldn’t be that weird, except every other building in the immediate vicinity seems to still have it’s lights on.

It’s just them stuck in this d-grade slasher fic, ready to launch themselves right into the hands of a rip-off Freddie or Jason by going down to the basement to check out the fuse box with only the tiny penlight on Steve’s keychain to light their way. What kind of store has a basement anyway? That’s just asking for things that go bump in the night to come out and play. It’s the first time he can say he’s happy to have Billy, his personal antagonist, around.

Billy, who’s making Steve uncomfortable by going off their regular script tonight. He’s being too nice, too caring, too kind, ignoring the panicked look on Steve’s face, and the way he grips Billy’s arm for comfort as they walk further and further down into the belly of the store.

***

Billy puffs out his chest, his heartbeat picking up speed, proud of how quickly he’s able to fall into his destiny as a romantic lead, ready to protect Steve from what the other man imagines to be a gruesome fate.

“We should have brought a weapon,” Steve says suddenly, sounding panicked. He turns around and runs back up the stairs. “We definitely should have brought a weapon. Right?” Just as he reaches the top of the stairs, the door swings closed. Steve reaches out and turns the handle, but it won’t budge.

“Great. This is how we’re going to die. This is textbook horror movie shit. We’re trapped down here, and it’s only a matter of time before something kills us, or we go crazy and turn on each other. Psychological horror. That’s the worst.” By now, he’s stumbled back down the stairs, and he’s pressed up against Billy, gripping his muscled arm. Billy can feel him shudder. “You should be worried. Why aren’t you worried?”

“Can I let you in on a little secret, pretty boy?” Billy asks, chuckling.

“Uh, yeah?” Steve replies, still shaking.

Billy leans over and whispers in the brunette’s ear. “We’re not in a horror movie. This right here is a romantic comedy. And one for the ages at that. Right up there with When Harry Met Sally and Jerry Maguire. Our love story is destined to stand the test of time.”

Steve eyes him suspiciously, looking adorable in the faint light provided by his penlight. “How do you know?”

“Just a hunch. Can you trust me for a minute?”

Steve nods. “Sure.”

“Ok. I’m gonna kiss you, alright?”

***

Steve has no time to react before the knife goes right through his heart. The last thing he sees is Billy standing over his bleeding body, screaming in horror, looking around as he waits to meet his own end. Billy promised him this wasn’t a horror movie, but here they are, the screen slowly fading to black.

***

Wait a minute. Chris doesn’t write horror, so that can’t be right, can it? Let’s try that again.

***

Morning comes, and along with it, Caitlin, the manager, here to rescue them from the dingy basement.

Billy watches as Steve runs off with Jessica from cash, fully believing that she’s the one. He’s really found her this time. Who cares about poor Billy, sad and alone, with no one to love.

***

That still can’t be right though. Chris would never leave us with her two favourite guys separated by the fates. No, of course not. Let’s give this one more shot, shall we?

***

It would be so easy to scoff at Billy, tell him no, and work on getting out of this gruesome tale, but he suddenly finds that he doesn’t want to. And he doesn’t want to go back to his dull, grey, indie drama life, sitting around and waiting for the girl who’s going to magically make his life better. He wants to take a leap of faith. He wants to kiss Billy. Wants to kiss him silly, actually.

So, he doesn’t wait for Billy to kiss him. He leans forward, capturing Billy’s lips with his own, his eyes closing and his arms wrapping around Billy’s shoulders.

“Open your eyes, princess,” Billy mutters softly against Steve’s lips.

Steve does as he’s told, finding the world around him to suddenly be ten times brighter than it ever was before. The lights in the room are on, and he feels dizzy from trying to take everything in all at once. He looks down at his polo, unable to believe such a bright shade of pink exists.

He looks up at Billy, and it’s like he’s seeing him for the first time, bright eyed and grinning, all his focus on Steve.

Steve pulls him forward into another kiss and the credits roll on the dawn of a new day.

Third time’s the charm, don’t they say?

#harringrove #harringroveweek #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #harringrove fic #chrisbitchtree writes

[evermorehqs]

IT’S HALLOWEEN IN EVERMORE!

As everyone in Evermore knows, the mayor goes all out for the holidays — but what they may not know is Halloween is his very favorite of them all! The month of October is practically a holiday in itself, with fun, spooky things to do all around town, so if you're feeling festive, you're in luck! This event is not mandatory, but if you do wish to participate, feel free to start threads for any of the mini-events at any given time! We’ll be tracking the tags #evermorehqh23 and #evermorehqsoutfit.

One of the large town buildings has been temporarily converted into a haunted hose with three paths of fear levels; family friendly, just a little spooky and nightmare material. Do them all... or choose wisely!

On the second, the thirteenth and the twenty sixth the art center will be hosting a pumpkin carving contest, with $100 for each first place prize, $50 for second place and $30 for third place!

Every weekend of October there's a new escape room to take part in. The first theme will be a zombie, second is creepy carnival, the third is glow in the dark and fourth is a murder mystery, each increasing in difficulty. Can you escape them all?

The pumpkin patch is open all month for hayrides, mazes (of the spooky and non-spooky sort), pumpkin picking, apple canons, and a large playground for the kiddos to run off some energy while their parents relax by the firepit.

On the 25th Mayor Reed is throwing an all day costume party at the town square with free refreshments, apple bobbing, cornhole and horror movie trivia games; the most creative costumes get goodie bags, so don't be afraid to stand out!

The drive-in theater will be showing various Halloween movies all month, as well as offering half-off ticket prices to every person that shows up in costume.

Many of the houses around town, and all of the governments buildings, have gone all out with decorations, so don't forget to take a nice stroll around and see all of the blow-up skeletons and giant fake spider webs!

The night before Halloween there will be a parade through main street lasting from sunset to midnight. There will be free apple cider and hot chocolate for everyone, so bundle up and enjoy the live performances and many floats traveling down the road!

On Halloween day everyone is welcome to hand out candy at their houses or join the local trunk-or-treat where any resident that wants can set up their own booth or decorate their car and hand out bags of sweets, toys and/or homemade treats. This lasts from 6 pm-10 pm and all ages are welcome to stop by. If you want your character(s) to have their own, we would love to see it!

#evermorehqsevent #evermorehqsh23

[handlewithcharacter]

Hallmark has officially released their list of movies and premiere dates for Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas and folks, I have a few takeaways:

The lack of puns in titles this year is horrific (is it a casualty of the strike or was morale just really low with the executive turnover and no one wanted to have fun as a result?), but the Best Title Award goes to Never Been Chris’d, about best friends who go back to their hometown for Christmas and end up in a love triangle with the boy they both had a crush on in high school. Or person - the description does not give Chris pronouns and the love triangle is described as "complex." Color me intrigued (UPDATE: RIP to this theory - EW confirms that Chris will be played by Tyler Hines. For additional notes, see comment 13).

There are two different movies based on Julia Roberts romcoms, Mystic Christmas and Christmas in Notting Hill and I'm not opposed but they already had a Hallmark movie loosely based on Notting Hill so I'm just saying [John Mulaney voice], "hey, that's the same joke twice!" Also, this sets precedent for the Movies & Mysteries movie Ms. Christmas Comes to Town (about a woman with a terminal diagnosis) to give Stepmom vibes, so uh, we'd better watch out.

There's a lot of movies about friend groups and best friends this year, but the one where the best friends are "Lori Jo" and "Tori" and they go on a roadtrip to "Yuletide Springs" sounds like a late night tv host pitched it as a joke and someone accidentally took it seriously.

TWO different movies about unexpected detours to a remote island during Christmastime and neither of them is called The Island of Misfit Toys.

The screenwriter for A Heidelberg Holiday really couldn't come up with a better name for the main character than Heidi Heidelberg? What, did they lose a bet?

A Merry Scottish Christmas completely missed the opportunity to be called Make the Yuletide Gaelic and I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Holiday Hotline is about a cooking hotline, but the anonymous caller is apparently named "John" so you will not be able to convince me that at least one of the drafts wasn't original pitched to a streaming service and about phone sex.

I can't tell if I like Catch Me If You Claus as a movie title because it at least tried for a pun, or if I hate it because it really did make the least amount of effort possible there. Plus, the premise of "news reporter has to figure out if Santa is real" is already the plot of a movie I came up with but haven’t written that I titled Santa Maybe and so clearly I can do better.

Holiday Road sounds like it has the potential to have some real Unaccompanied Minors level shenanigans but with grown ups and I’m here for it so long as a) at least one or two of these myriad characters is celebrating something other than Christmas and b) the “enigmatic woman” is a lesbian. Enigmatic women are so much more fun when they're lesbians.

I’m genuinely so excited for A Biltmore Christmas. Full stop. That is all.

A Not So Royal Christmas, in which a royal family has a groundskeeper pretend to be a Count, absolutely could have and should have been reworked into a Halloween movie, or at the very least have had the decency to have been called Count Down To Christmas.

TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP MOVIE TIME LOOP -

Every time I think there will be lesbians based on a description in the Hallmark app, I am proven wrong, but Friends & Family Christmas with a group of artists in New York has me breaking out the eyes emojis. (Variety confirmed the two female leads are in fact fake dating and I'm practically vibrating with excitement but also I can think of at least two ways that actually turns out to be straight so I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up until I hear more.)

I said last year that when they inevitably make Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas it should be about some lesbians and (see comment 13) not only is it not an lgbtq+ movie, but it’s about church choir with a dash of military propaganda thrown in, which might sound exactly right for a movie made by Country Music People(tm) but might also sound like it was designed to spite me, personally.

It's interesting how many movies this year are based on true events. It's nice - the last few years have been kind of crappy, globally, to say the least, and true stories of the magic of the holidays might be just what the doctor ordered.

#hallmark #hallmark channel #things i did instead of my incredibly long to-do list because i am overwhelmed and exhausted #but in a month it will be Christmas movie season and all will be a little bit better

[aylincetin]

Is that AYLIN CETIN that I see over there? You know they have quite the reputation by of being the HOPELESS ROMANTIC around town. The 29 year old has been around these parts for 11 YEARS and within that timeframe has landed themselves a job as a/an WRITER while living in SYCAMORE VILLAGE I overheard that they can be quite COWARDLY but their saving grace is that they are LOYAL. They remind me of FRESH SETS OF PENS, FLOWER CROWNS, THE SMELL OF HOMEMADE COOKIES but you’ll have to decide that for yourself.

BASICS

FULL NAME:  Aylin Cetin

NICKNAME(S): Ay, Lin, Ac

AGE: 29

DATE OF BIRTH:  February 2nd

PLACE OF BIRTH:  Adana, Turkey

CURRENT LOCATION:. Sycamore Village, Ravenswood, VT

GENDER: Cis Woman

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

OCCUPATION:  Writer/Author

FACECLAIM: Pinar Deniz

HEADCANONS

Her first book was about her father and the aftermath of her mother’s affair. It was a story about redemption and perseverance when all seemed to be lost. It resonated with a lot of people.

Her second and third books were romance novels. She’s currently in the process of writing a fourth book, following the story of her own personal life.

Pink is her favorite color but she has a love for the color teal.

She’s a sucker for a good rom com movie.

Her daughter has two black cats named Binx and Salem.

BIOGRAPHY

trigger warning: cheating/affair, pregnancy

Aylin was born on any ordinary Sunday after family dinner to two young adults trying to make a living in Adana, Turkey. They were high school sweethearts whom thrived to show everybody that they could make something for themselves. Both parents moved on to bigger and better things, attending college majoring in law and English. Aylin could be found sitting next to her mother playing with her toys while the teachers lectured or running around the day care center that they found right outside the college.

Her life growing up was mediocre, but she was happy and healthy and that was all that mattered to the Cetin family. Seven years later and Aylin was walking across the stage with her father when he got his law degree and they moved to their first house shortly thereafter. He got a job as a defense attorney for one of the biggest law firms in the city while her mother got a job as an English teacher at one a private school. Her childhood was anything but boring and she was always running around with her friends. Fast forward to age thirteen and her mother was caught having an affair with one of Aylin's teachers. Her mother moved out and she stayed with her father. Writing became an escape from her reality and she fell in love with storytelling.

By the time that she graduated, she had written her first book. When she turned eighteen, both her and her father moved to the states for better opportunities for the both of them. Her uncle lived in Vermont so they stayed with him for a few months before Aylin moved out to her own small apartment. It was then that she had a one night stand with someone that she met at the bar and a couple of months later, she found out that she was pregnant. She tried to get in touch with the guy but the number was disconnected and the name given was fake.

Months flew by and during this time, she had her first book published by an independent agency and it actually succeeded more than she thought it ever could. She soon gave birth to a little girl, Anya who became the light of her life. She continued to write and over the course of the past eleven years, she had written two more books and moved into a home for her and her daughter. Anya has been asking about her father more recently so Aylin is trying to figure out what she wants to do.

#rw.intro #tw cheating #tw affair #tw pregnancy

[yikesharringrove]

Steve gets a massive dildo as a joke gift from Billy, but then he invites him to watch as Steve tries to fit it inside :3c Not sure if Steve gives up halfway through and lets Billy fuck his ass open and then uses the dildo on him afterwards. Or if he succeeds and comes on the dildo as Billy fucks it in and out of him, just to have Billy use his lube-filled, stretched out hole as 'sloppy seconds' >:3c

“Bill, oh my God.”

The toy was heavy in Steve’s hand, so huge he couldn’t wrap his hand entirely around it.

Billy was grinning at him.

“Happy Birthday, Sweet Thing.”

“Is this a fucking joke?” It had to be. Sure, there were both into playing around with Steve’s hole. Stretching him open and stuffing him full. But this is just a whole other level.

The toy was nearly as long as Steve’s forearm, and just massive. Jet black silicone with all kinds of ridges and bumps along the shaft.

“What, you doubtin’ your own talents? Don’t think you can take it?” But Billy’s eyes were crinkled in a smile that meant he was joking. That he probably found this monster and laughed at it in public for ten minutes straight before buying it with a smile on his face.

Steve reached up and whacked Billy’s shoulder with the toy. It made a pleasing thump against it.

“You’re an ass. I’m expecting a real gift.”

Turns out the real gift was a surprisingly thoughtful box with some of Billy’s t-shirts, some truly god-awful poetry he had written about Steve his first week at Hawkins High, and a book on tape Billy had recorded himself of his favorite he kept trying to get Steve to read, Giovanni’s Room.

It was all sweet, and intimate, even with the new set of reasonably sized anal beads tucked in the box as well.

And it made Steve forget about the monstrous black dildo.

Until he was laying in bed that night, nothing but one of Billy’s shirts he had just gifted him on, Billy himself spooned tightly against Steve’s back, he didn’t think of the dildo standing on it’s base next to the coffee table downstairs.

And he got a tiny little idea. Something that probably wouldn’t even work.

But, he can always try.

 Billy never gave too many shits about his birthday. And this year was going to be mo different.

He’d probably head over to Steve;s for the weekend, watch shitty movies that Steve loves far too much and eat all his snacks. Just like every other weekend.

But then his dad sat him down. Said he was taking Susan out of town, out of state, all the way down to Oklahoma to visit her brother. They’ll be leaving Friday morning and won’t return until Tuesday night. Billy’s in charge and they expect him to be on his best behavior.

He felt actual, genuine, excitement inside for his stupid birthday in what was probably years.

Andhe explained everything to Steve in a hushed tone over the phone that same night, told him to come over Friday after school, and expect not to leave Billy’s bed all weekend.

And that little tiny idea Steve had had since his own birthday popped back into his head.

-

“Close your eyes.”

Billy could hear rustling, Steve digging something out of his bag, hopefully ditching his clothes while he was at it too, before the bed shifted, settling under Steve’s weight.

There was more shifting, the unmistakable sound of a bottle of lube opening, slick globs of it dripping sloppily onto something.

“Open them.”

Billy nearly choked at the sight before him.

Steve just smiled coyly.

“Happy birthday.”

He was kneeling on the opposite end of the bed, wearing nothing but those fucking white socks that went all the way up to his thighs and drove Billy absolutely wild.

He was already hard, the tip of his dick flushed the same dark pink as Steve’s cheeks.

He was working copious amounts of lube of the massive dildo Billy had bought him as a fucking joke, making demure eye contact with Billy as he pumped his hand up and down, twisting his wrist like he was jacking the thing off, not just getting it slick.

“I skipped my last three periods to get myself ready for this thing. Edged myself the whole time. Took a few pictures too. You’ll be seeing those later.” The lube squelched as Steve kept stroking the huge fake cock. “How do you want me?”

“Steve, Christ. Are you, are you seriously gonna try and take that thing?”

“Thought it’d be a nice treat for you. Watch me see if I can take it. Maybe you can help me out. Hold me down and force it in if I give up.”

And this isn’t shit they did very often. The kinda sex that needs thorough discussion and safe words, and shit. But, fuck if it wasn’t some of the best sex Billy’s ever had.

All Billy could do was palm himself through his jeans, try to relieve some of the pressure of his rock hard dick straining against his fly.

“Then turn around. Wanna see your greedy hole split open for that thing.”

Steve did as he was told, a glint in his eye and a tiny little smile on his face.

He turned until he was facing the edge of the bed, his back to Billy, and he leaned forward, spreading his cheeks open with one hand.

His hole was already well-used. Covered in lube and deliciously slick looking. Pink and a little puffy, the way it looked when Billy’d been a little too over-zealous with Steve that night. But it was gaped as open as Billy’s ever seen it, fluttering and clenching around nothing.

And Billy’s seen Steve take some toys he thought were gonna be a struggle in one graceful motion.

But this thing was big.

And Steve Steve sat back up and positioned the toy so the base would be held steady by his own ankles, Billy really didn’t know if it would fit.

“You say the word and we’ll stop, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Steve turned to look over his shoulder.

“I got this.”

And he lined up the tip of the toy, and pressed it inside.

The stretch was immediate.

Steve had fingered himself silly and taken a ride on just about every toy he owned, but this thing was on it’s own level. It burned as it opened him up, the pressure building so quickly Steve had to stop and take a few breaths with barely any of the toy inside.

He relaxed himself as much as he could, and when the initial discomfort dissipated, he sank down a few inches onto the toy.

It flared quickly, and the stretch was was back, splitting him open and causing him to ache.

“Fuck, Billy, this thing is huge.”

“Yeah, that’s why it was a goddamn joke gift.”

“You shouldn’t give me sex toys if you don’t want me to use them.”

“Right, sorry. I forgot you’re an insatiable slut.”

Steve turned to look over his shoulder, winking at Billy before taking a deep breath, and sinking down just a bit more.

He tossed his head back, letting out a long moan.

Billy was ridiculously hard. Ridiculously painfully hard.

“It’s so fucking deep.” He’d barely taken half of it and it felt like the thing was already in his throat. “I bet you’ll be able to see it bulging in my stomach.”

“Baby, don’t tease me like that. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Hurt me yourself.” Steve lifted up a bit on his knees, swaying his back slightly more, and pushed himself further down on the dildo.

He slid nearly three-quarters of the way down, bracing his hands on his knees.

“I-fuck. I can’t do it. I can’t take anymore.”

He was breathing heavily, his legs shaking.

It burned, his hole stretching more than it ever had around a toy. The tip of it was deep in him, making him feel like it was scrambling his guts.

The bed shifted, and Billy was pressed to his back, his cock rigid and pressing through his jeans against Steve’s ass.

“Lift up for me, Sugar.”

He pressed his hands under Steve’s ass cheeks, just above where the white socks rested on his thighs, cutting in and giving him a little roll above them, helping him push up and off the toy.

And Steve felt so fucking empty, he nearly whined.

“I think you just need a little more help.” He squirted out more lube, coating his fingers.

He pushed all four into him, his knuckles sliding in as well.

“Fuck, Stevie, you’re gaping.”

“It’s so big,” Steve whined dramatically. He knows what Billy likes, and he’s not above putting on a bit of a show for him.

Billy curled his fingers around, pumping them in and out of Steve’s stretched out hole, lube sliding down his arm and dripping onto the bed. It was so gross and hot.

“God, Bill. It feels so fucking good. Love your fingers.”

“I know you do, Sugar. You’re so pretty.”

Steve relaxed against him, leaning his head back to rest it on Billy’s shoulder, pressing sloppy kisses to his cheek.

“Such a perfect gift. Watching you fall apart on this huge thing. You’re going to be so loose when I finally fuck you.” 

And at that he took his fingers out, replacing his hand with the thick toy, his hands settling on Steve’s waist.

And he began to push Steve down onto the toy, slowly letting it split him open.

He got him back to where he was before, nearly to the base of the toy, and let him rest for a moment.

He let Steve take a shaky breath, and pressed.

Steve cried out as he sat all the way down on the dildo, laying back against Billy, breathing hard with his eyes closed.

“Oh, fuck, Billy. It’s so fucking big, I-God,” he babbled, his chest heaving.

“You gonna ride it? Fuck yourself with the big cock in your ass? Or can you even move? Are you so stuffed full you’re stuck right here?”

And Steve’s thighs tensed, trying his best to rise up on the dildo, Billy reaching down to keep the base where it was.

He whined as it barely slid out of him, collapsing back down.

“Billy, I can’t move.” And God, Billy so wanted him to start crying. He already sounded like he could, like the burning pleasure of the toy was beginning to make his brain go cloudy and the sensations overwhelming.

Billy took an east step off the bed, leaving Steve straining to hold himself upright, staring at Billy with panic in his big eye.

“Don’t worry, Baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Billy just pushed Steve backwards, making him yelp as he landed on his back against the pillows, the toy stuffed deep in his ass, shifting inside of him and making him writhe. “Jus’ wanted a better view.”

Billy kneeled carefully on the bed between Steve’s legs, taking his time to press a kiss to the soft skin on the inside of each of Steve’s knees, feeling the soft long socks, his gorgeous fat thighs stretching the band tight.

He placed on of those long legs over his shoulder, spreading Steve open enough to take in the massive toy keeping him nice and open.

And he wrapped his fingers around the base, and pulled.

Steve all but screamed as the toy slid out of him, the notches and grooves along the shaft making him squirm.

Billy stopped when just the tip was left inside Steve, gave him a second to catch his breath, and pushed.

Steve’s eyes flew open, and his back arched off the bed, his legs fucking shaking around Billy as he came, spunk covering his stomach and chest, some of it even reaching his chin. He grabbed Billy’s forearm, blunt nails digging into his skin.

And then it stopped, Steve going limp against the pillows, taking a few deep breaths with his eyes closed.

Billy loved watching him cum. It was a fucking show, mewling noises and muscles rolling under perfect skin. He’s so beautiful.

Dark eyes fluttered open, cheeks pink and hair messy on Billy’s pillow.

“How you doin’?” Billy grinned down at Steve.

“I’m exhausted.”

Billy pressed another kiss to the inside of Steve’s knee, gripping the base of the dildo, and pulling it out.

Steve whined, his hands re-curling around Billy’s arms.

The toy popped out of him with a squelch of lube.

And what a sight.

He was gaped open, his hole red and covered in lube, twitching slightly and empty.

Billy couldn’t get his jeans open fast enough.

He yanked down his fly, pulling out his stiff cock, an immediately pushing into Steve.

He was so fucking loose, and he whined again as Billy pushed into him.

“Billy,” Steve drew out the word into as many syllables as possible. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, but it’s my birthday. And I haven’t gotten off yet. Now tighten the fuck up. You’re so fucking open. Can’t even feel anything.”

Steve pouted up at him.

“Yeah? And who’s fault is that? Because I’m pretty sure you’re the one that shoved that thing in me.”

“It was your idea-”

“You bought it.”

Billy sat back on his heels to look down at Steve.

“Whatever. Just, you know. Gimme a little more to work with.”

Steve huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically, melting further into the pillows behind him as Billy fucked back into him.

He clenched around Billy, still glaring down at him.

“That’s it, Sugar. I’m close already, just let me use your sloppy little hole,” he panted, already fucking Steve with a brisk pace.

Watching Steve had gotten him all pent up, and he just needed a little friction to push him over the edge.

And then Steve shifted, titling his hips up, letting Billy get deeper than before, and tightened up as much as he could.

Billy groaned, burying his face in Steve’s neck. He bucked his hips a few times, and spilled inside Steve, adding to to the mess inside him.

He rolled off of Steve, wiggling out of his jeans and tossing them on the floor.

Steve looked ready to fall asleep, and Billy manhandled him around to tug the blanket over them both.

“Bill, I gotta go get cleaned up.” His voice was muffled, his face smooshed against the pillow, Billy draped against his back.

“Here, just let me,” he trailed one hand down, skimming the pads of his fingers over Steve’s side, and pressing three fingers inside of him, “make sure you don’t get my bed all messy.”

“Hope you enjoyed your birthday gift, because I’m never doing this again.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love being gaped like that.”

Steve just muttered incoherently, burying his face into Billy’s pillow.

“That’s what I thought.”

#lemons #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #yikes writes

[deans-baby-momma]

Forbidden

Chapter 12

Set in season 14 and follows Y/N, a young girl from the Apocalypse world as she tries to navigate this new place that she was thrust in after being rescued and the feelings she begins to have for someone she really shoudln’t be having them for.

Warnings: There’s a bit of angst, smut and fluff in each chapter. I will tag the smut chapters appropriately but if you’re following me and reading any of my stories, you know it’s gonna be there.  LOL

WC: 1317

Sitting in the backseat of the Impala, I listen as Dean and Sam argue about which route to take to get to Salem, Ohio; the location of the toys come to life and attack. 

“If we just stick to the interstate we could get there in about 14 hours,” Sam pleads his case but Dean shakes his head.

“Too many speed traps and cops on the freeway,” Dean counters. “Sticking to backroads and two-laners, we can keep a low profile and we’ll get there in about the same amount of time.”

I take it upon myself to put in my opinion, scooting forward and leaning on the back of the front seat. “I vote for a low profile. I want to see the countryside.”

Sam turns his head and stares at me and after a few seconds there is a look of understanding so he nods and relinquishes. I meet Dean’s eyes in the rearview as I settle back and he winks. 

After almost 15 excruciating hours in that same backseat I am relieved when we pull up to a motel just outside of town. Listening to the same album over and over with the wind whistling through the open windows had begun to grate on my last nerve.

Sam and I go into the motel office to procure a couple of rooms while Dean stays back to unload the car. 

We visit his place of employment and I get a peek at how big of a horror buff Dean is. It’s cute actually. He gets so excited and animated with the life size mannequin of David Yaeger, also known as Hatchet Man from the All Saints Day series. 

“Hi. I’m Samantha. Can I help you?”

“We’re looking for Stuart Blake,” Sam tells her. “We are with Campbell and Associates Insurance. We heard about Mr. Blake’s accident and were wishing to discuss it with him.”

“Oh, he’s at his parents’ house. You know, resting up.”

“Okay,” Sam says, giving her a smile. “Thank you.”

I have come to understand that this guy is an opinionated, hot-headed nerd. He has succumbed to living in his parents’ basement because he has angered, annoyed and alienated all his friends and acquaintances. Hell, he was kicked out of his last residence over a martial arts movie, of all things!

I sit at the table in the kitchen, alongside the Winchesters as we await Stuart. His mom tells us, “Stewie will be up in just a minute” as she sits down three mugs of the cider she offered. I hold back a giggle as I watch Dean quickly switch out the cat mug for the ‘Flash” mug and Sam gives him an exasperated look. 

I lift up the Wonder Mom mug and take a sip. I can’t seem to keep from peeking over the rim of my cup at Dean. He is dressed in a plain white short sleeve dress shirt, a pair of khaki slacks and a silver and charcoal striped tie. But the kicker is the black rimmed glasses he is sporting. He looks like a nerd; a really hot, sexy as fuck, nerd. 

‘Get it together Y/N! Don’t blow the case just because you can’t keep your eyes off Dean.’

A few minutes later we hear yelling coming from the basement then Stuart appears. I recognize him from the video that he had posted on the internet. His wounds look superficial to me. I  have seen worse wounds from my world. 

Stuart stops at the top of the stairs as soon as he spots us and slides the headphones off his head. 

“Who’re you?” he asks.

“We’re from Campbell and Sons Insurance and…” Sam begins.

“What are you doing down there?” Dean cuts his brother off before he can finish the fake spiel we had concocted in the car.

“Fortnite.”

At my complete look of confusion, Dean leans over and whispers, “It’s a video game.”

Stuart corrects him. “It’s the video game.”

“Yeah, well I’m a Zelda for life so….” Dean says with a chuckle and a shrug.  “What are you, burning sage down there?”

“So?” Stuart answers defensively, as he takes a bottle of soda from the fridge.. “I dated this Goth chick, like super-hot, met online and she was into Wicca. She said that burning sage was like good luck or some crap like that.”

“Hm, so you’re not together anymore?”

“Ha, no. I broke it off before we could MIRL. You know, I mean, who needs goth girl drama am I right?” Stuart nods toward Sam as he lifts the drink and guzzles half of it down.

I look to Dean for another explanation of what this dude is spewing. Is this guy even speaking English now? Unfortunately Dean looks as confused as I am.

“Mirl?”

Sam whispers. “MIRL – Meet in real life.”

“Why do you know what that means?” I ask at the same time Dean says, “I don’t even want to know how you know that.”

Sam ignores us both and goes on with his pretend persona.

“Stuart, we’re here to ask about the attack you reported, with the toy?”

Stuart stuns us all when he nonchalantly says, “I made it up.”

“You what?” Dean asks and I can’t tell if he impressed or if he is disappointed.

“The whole thing, I lied.”

“But, the video…” Sam says and I nod. The video had seemed pretty credible.

“That was fake. I didn’t expect it to go viral, but it did,” Stuart explains. “Uh I just, I fell.”

Busted! Lie, right there. I could tell whatever had happened to Stuart he didn’t want anyone to know. I briefly wonder if maybe he and that goth chick had indeed MIRLed and it didn’t go well.

“Hm, because the hospital report said that you had marks on your face, your legs, your back and your genitals,” Dean replies and I can tell he has caught on to the lie too. “That’s not a slip and fall.”

“Well I don’t see why an insurance company would care, you know. And I think it’s time for you to leave.”

As we get into the Impala, I once again scoot forward and lean on the back of the seat. “So what now?”

“His girlfriend was into Wicca,” Dean offers.

“Wicca doesn’t always mean witch,” Sam says. I have no contribution to what is going on so I just listen.

“Except when it does,” Dean says, his hand up and his index pointing toward the top of the car.  

“You're both right," I say, annoyed with both of them. "Let’s wait until they leave and check the house for hex bags. For now, you two need to grow up. What is it with having to one-up the other? Why do you feel the need to prove you are better than your brother? Jesus, my dad was an arrogant, egotistical man but he and Uncle Sammy always worked together and never butted heads like you two." 

I swallow audibly as both the Winchesters had turned to stare at me. I paste on a grin and shrug.

It isn't even five minutes later that Dean starts provoking Sam.

"So seriously, what is your deal with Halloween?"

"I don’t like it," Sam answers as he watches kids dressed up in costumes walk past the car.

"Yeah, but why don’t you like it, hm?" Dean asks. "And don’t give me that like, ‘well every day is Halloween for us’ crap, okay? Because one: it ain’t, we don’t eat that much candy, two: you’ve had this hate on for years. So?"

Instead of answering, Sam straightens up in his seat. "Mom’s on the move."

We watch as Stuart's mother, Barbra, leaves the house dressed in costume. She gets into the car in the driveway and pulls away. As she passes, the three of us hunker down so she doesn't see us surveying her home.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @wintersoldierwinchester @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits​ @nancymcl​ @kazsrm67 @lostdarksoul6

#supernatural #supernatural season 14 #spn #canon adjacent #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #y/n winchester #bobby singer #jack kline #smut #angst #fluff #dean x y/n

[jaekaicx]

Spare Ev and Anne being bf & gf hc?

hell yes

theyre the kind of couple that you’d have no clue that theyre dating if you saw them just hanging out in public. theyre too busy bickering and teasing each other

that is until you notice all the handholding and the quick pecks they give each other

its a combination of ev’s old habits dying hard and anne being more resilient and sticking up for herself more. usually its over little stuff tho, like which fast food place to stop at or who’s gonna hold the door open for the other

its the most awkward for them after amphibia bc their dynamic was shaken the most in canon. it takes a while for them to warm back up to each other, but eventually they find their footing

after they reunite in s3 but before they defeat darcy (darshall?), the two would spend most nights just sitting with each other. not rly cuddling or anything but just sitting next to the other person in silence. they dont rly know what to do or say so they just. sit there.

sometimes when they hang out in each others rooms they put something on in the background (music/movie/tv) while they paint each others nails

they go on bouldering/rock climbing dates <3

they compete in planning the best dates for their girlfriends

ev likes nuzzling into anne’s neck

annes still has trouble looking at ev’s cheek scar sometimes

they totally kissed before amphibia (“platonically,” as “friends” of course)

they do the thing where one of them bumps the other w their shoulder, then that person bumps the first one back, then it slowly escalates into playful fighting

theyre sparring buddies :3

one time when they were rly young they were playing house or smth when ev decided “Hey we should get married!! >:3” and anne just went along w it bc why not. so they gather together all their stuffed animals and toys and stuff and set up a ceremony right then and there in the bedroom, with marshall officiating. they even got complimentary ring pops and signed fake certificates. ev still has his to date

(they did a joint wedding w all three of them after)

anne and ev are the ones to dance around each other the most after amphibia. marshall has the sort of the same kind of issue, but ev especially is rly worried abt hurting anne again and ruining everything. it takes a couple months for them to fully fall back into their old banter. ev still hasnt fully shaken the habit of backing down too quickly tho

anne still has trouble looking at the scar she gave ev (from toad tower). still, she likes to kiss all of her scars and nicks from the months away from earth.

ev will never admit that he likes being carried by anne

he still insists on giving her piggy back rides every once in a while. even tho hes the shorter one

they fight over who can carry the most grocery bags into the house

ev has offered to cook for dates on multiple occasions. all of them went horribly. ok slight exaggeration, but every time she offered they ended up eating out

anne tries to teach ev to cook more than just variations of eggs but they dont make much progress. ev’s egg quality does improve tho

sometimes when either one of them are feeling bad, they like to just stroll aimlessly around town. sometimes they chat or throw banter, but most of the time theyre too tired to bother so they just walk in comfortable silence, hand in hand.

goes for all three of them but. lots of hugging. so many hugs. bc none of them wanna let go of the others ever again

#my froggos #amphibia #amphibia au #sashanne #amphibia headcanons #hsnbdnsnds they #i think their dynamic put simply is #‘party rockers in the house tonight~’ #‘its ‘party rock is in the house tonight’’ #‘…’ ‘…’ #n then they kiss #they have it the roughest bc their relationship broke the most during amphibia #but theres a saying abt the harder a bone breaks the stronger it heals right? #or wait was it muscles- #either way u get my point #them. gay #anne boonchuy #everett waybright #marshall wu #sasha waybright #marcy wu #i swear i’ll get to the other asks. eventually jfbdnbs #just gotta get my brain to cooperate #edit: help i just realized i put anne feeling bad abt the scar twice #very obsessed with that apparently

[insomniamamma]

Late Bloomers: Ezra x F! Reader w/Cee

A/n: Set in the "Liminal" AU in which Ezra becomes his niece, Cee's legal guardian after a car accident kills his brother, Damon, and costs him his arm. Set sometime between "Ferris  Wheels Are For Old People" and "Surf City Goodness." Reader is Ezra's neighbor. Established relationship (sort of, IDK how to tag what they are). For @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Not a whole lot. Kissing. Touching. A little spicier than I usually go, which isn't saying whole lot. A little language.  Cee, as usual, needs her own warning. Set during the pandemic shut down. Mentions of covid. Also, I feel like 'The Apple' needs it's own warning. I'll link the trailer at the end.

           "You sure you don't want to come with us, Birdie?" Cee sits at their scarred kitchen table, her laptop, textbooks and a pile of papers around her. She frowns.           "I gotta study," she says, "Ms Stewart is really serious about this quiz. She's not grading on a curve this time." Ezra narrows his eyes.           "You have never spent a Saturday night studying in your life," he says. Cee frowns up at him.           "You've never been in Ms. Stewart's physics class," says Cee, "She's a hard ass. Anyway, I'm still pulling an 'A' in her class, but I don't want to fuck up my average."           "Jesus, Cee," Ezra mutters, and you have to smile. She rolls her eyes.           "I know, I know--"           "Don't say 'fuck' at school," they say in unison.           "They're doing double features all summer," says Cee, "I can miss one. I've seen all these movies anyway." She smirks, "I want to hear what you think of 'The Apple.'" Ezra rummages around for his keys and Cee drops you the most exaggerated wink you've ever seen in your life.           "Have fun, guys," she says.

         Covid has nuked most of the things you used to do for fun, restaurants and shows, hell, even the libraries are closed. The only business in town that's thriving is the Star-City Drive In. There haven't been any big studio releases in a while, so they've been doing Fright Night Fridays and Sci-Fi Saturdays. Tonight's double feature is Flash Gordon and The Apple.          "They've got this weird way of operating the concession stand now," says Ezra, "Cause of the pandemic. You've gotta text them your order and I guess they bring it out to you--" Ezra's gotten pretty good at working his phone one-handed, but you can see the frustration clouding his face.          "Let me," you say, loading the menu onto your phone, "Let's get a big popcorn and share it. You okay with the fake butter?"          "Of course I'm okay with the fake butter, what kind of monster do you take me for?"          "How about candy?" You ask, scrolling through, "It's the usual suspects."          "Sno-caps," he says, "How about you?"          "I'm thinking Milk Duds," you say.          "Now that is an excellent way to lose a filling, Sunshine."          "Popcorn and Milk Duds together? Worth the risk," you say and text your order off to the concession stand. It's not quite dark yet, a reel of movie trivia that no one cares about shines ghost pale on the screen. Ez has got the radio tuned to pick up the sound, but there's not much to listen to yet so it's turned down low, background noise with the cicadas and birdsong. The big screen backs up against a farmer's field run wild and a dark stand of trees.          "Switch places with me," says Ezra, and gets out of the truck. He comes around to your side and opens the door for you.          "Why?"          "Indulge me," says Ezra, so you do as he asks and settle in to the driver's side. Ezra's truck has bench seats with vinyl that creaks and cushions that hiss slightly as you move around. There's a tap at the window and you hook your mask over your ears and crank it down, popcorn and candy and you already payed with your phone, but press some rumpled bills into their gloved hands.          "Why'd you want to switch places?" You ask around a mouthful of popcorn.          "Shhh," says Ezra, "The movie's starting."

         Flash Gordon is just as fun as you remember it being, majestic in its absurdity, a big love letter to all the terrible pulp sci-fi movies that came before, the two of you watch and snark and laugh and sing "Aaa-ahhh" whenever someone says Flash's name. We owe it to Queen, you say, and Ezra smiles big the way he does when something's caught him off guard, the way that crinkles his eyes and reveals his dimples, indeed we do. We owe it to Freddie Mercury.          At some point his arm finds it's way around your shoulders and you lean into him.          "So this is why you wanted to switch spots," you murmur. He raises his prosthetic arm, flickering movie light shining on the double hook at the end.          "Can't exactly get handsy with Mr. Claw, now can I?" He grins, "These hooks might be a little chilly."          "And pokey," you say, demonstrating with a dig to his ribs. The end credits are rolling.          "You ever seen this next movie?"          "The Apple?" He says, "No. Some sort of cult-movie thing. Cee made me promise not to IMDB it. She said I should go in with an open mind."          "Oh boy," you laugh.          "Right? Cee's tastes are all over the place. I suspect this will be either amazing  or terrible on a scale that recalibrates our internal gauge of what terrible is."          "You know she set us up, right?"          "Yeah," says Ezra, "Little Bird fancies herself quite the matchmaker."          "She winked at me." Ezra dimples.          "Did she now?"          "She looked like a cartoon," you laugh, "About as subtle as a ton of bricks." Ezra brays laughter and leans against you, squeezes you closer to him at the same time. He is beautiful when he laughs, all dimples and teeth eyes screwed shut in mirth and you take this opportunity to press a kiss against that tender place on his jaw where his beard refuses to grow. Ezra freezes, you feel his body go rigid against yours, and your first thought is to apologize, to pull back, and then he reaches for you, his broad, calloused palm cradling your face, drawing you to him, presses his lips to yours, a soft, reverent kiss that he does not fully withdraw from, his hand now resting on the nape of your neck, forehead pressed to yours, somehow more intimate than a kiss, this closeness, breathing each others exhalations, leaning against each other.          "Cee's not wrong," you say, "We're good together."          "We are, aren't we?" He gives your nape a gentle squeeze, and lets you go. The opening titles of The Apple flicker on screen and the music starts up.

         "Oh, Ezra, what the fuck did we just watch?"          "I don't know if 'watch' is the right word, Sunshine, we did not 'watch' The Apple. The Apple happened to us."          "I don't think I've ever understood Stockholm syndrome until now."          "I have been assaulted," says Ezra, "My civil rights have been violated."          "It's like..." You trail off, "It's like if someone took '1984', 'A Star Is Born' and 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and put them in a blender. I'm pretty sure this movie violates the Geneva conventions." Ezra laughs and so do you, leaning in to each other, giggles that become kisses, soft at first, but increasingly hungry, laced with need, your arms twine around his shoulders, his hand lingers at your side, toying with the hem of your shirt.          "S'okay, Ez," you say as he nips at your jaw and then your neck, gentle graze of teeth that makes you shiver, "You can touch me." He kisses you deep, his tongue fever-hot against yours, hand sliding up the soft slope of your belly, cupping your breast, and you arch into his touch--          Tap Tap Tap. And there's a bright light shining through the passenger's side window.          "Oh shit," says Ezra. You frantically yank your shirt back down, heat creeping up your neck, your cheeks, your earlobes flaming.          "Movie's over guys," says the shadowed figure behind the flashlight's glare, "Take it someplace else." You open the door to switch places back with Ezra, the overhead light shows him red faced and horrified.          "I'm sorry, I just--"          "Get us out of here, Ez."

         You stare out into the dark past the window, half-moon shining over fields and trees like a lazy eye. You snort laughter.          "What's so funny?"          "We got caught," you say, "We got caught necking at the drive-in like a couple of teenagers."          "You're laughing because we got caught?"          "I'm laughing because I've never made out with anyone at a drive-in, even when I was a teenager, and I'm laughing cause we got caught. After watching that trash-fire of a movie. We got caught making out over the end credits of 'The Apple'. I feel like we deserve some kind of award." You rest your hand on Ezra's leg, can just pick his smile in the dim lights from the dash. Ezra chuckles.          "I never made out with anyone at the drive in before tonight either," says Ezra.          "Bullshit," you say, and give him a good-natured poke.          "It's true," he says, "For one, I didn't have access to a car. I would've had to borrow Ma's car, and there was no way that was ever going to happen. Also, I was not what the girls back then referred to as 'dating material'. Skinny as a rake with a mouthful of braces and an obvious birthmark? I was like a puppy trying to grow into it's ears and feet, a late bloomer if you will." You move your hand higher up along his thigh and give him a squeeze.          "Better late than never."          "Indeed."

Flash Gordon Trailer

The Apple Trailer

#writer wednesday #ezra x f!reader #ezra prospect x f!reader #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #ezra and cee

[theromanceofaffliction]

tagged by @legallybrunette1997 for this horror genre questionnaire!!!

cheesy horror movies or serious horror movies -> i have to say both sorry XP

horror novels or horror movies (i love horror novels but havent read enough to say for sure)

short film story or full length film story

futuristic or current time or past

fictional story or true story

clowns or dolls

werewolves or vampires

(setting) small towns or big cities

monster movies or murderous movies

happy endings or sad endings

teens as the main characters or adults as the main characters

everyone dies or everyone lives or one survivor

one main character or group of main characters

ghosts or witches

70s-90s or 00s-10s (that being said hereditary is still my fave horror movie)

main characters being siblings or main characters being a couple

killers or final girls

experimental or iconic

psychological horror or slasher

instrumental score or radio music soundtrack

faked death as the killer twist or unexpected relation to the protag as the killer twist

trapped in one room or lost in vast nature

stand-alone or series

existential horror or realistic horror

ambiguous endings or everything makes sense by the end

period piece or post 1960s

gore/splatter or suspense

high schools or hospitals

haunted house or possession

aliens or zombies

chainsaw or an axe

my questions:

- monster as human or monster as superhuman

- found footage/mockumentary or traditional narrative

- horror in the basement or horror in the attic

i tag @iloveyoutoodeath @waysofseeingepisode1 @mousey-toy@willemdafoeplscallmemynumberis and @evildead2electricboogaloo <333

#heheheh this was so fun thank u !!! #tag game #spit.post #also if ur seeing this and want to do this just say i tagged u

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched (and books I read) this week - 35

As I wait for season 3 of Succession, I thought I’ll re-watch the pilot of Season 1, directed by Adam McKay. Absolutely a great start for the week.

The opening credit theme is a killer!

✴️               

George Méliès X 2:

✳️✳️✳️  The Méliès Mystery, a fascinating biography of magician, toy-maker, pioneer director, impresario and THE inventor of the cinema. Gave me a whole new appreciation for his work. 9/10

✳️✳️✳️ And of course, Scorsese’s Hugo, which recreates the 7 years in Méliès life, when in desperation he burnt the negatives of all his 700 films, and as he operated a small toy booth at the Gare Montparnasse, penniless and forgotten, (Photo above). This is the setting for the story, transformed into a children fairy tale about an orphan looking for his dead father. A technical tour de force and an ode to early cinema, which eventually turns into a history lesson.

✴️          

In a similar vain, Sylvain Chomet’s animated story of Jacques Tati’s 1957 unproduced script The illusionist, which was written in an attempt to reconcile with his daughter whom he had abandoned when she was a baby. 

Lyrical, sentimental and melancholy. 

"Magicians are not real"

✴️          

“Do you want the world to end in Your lifetime?”

Scenes from an Empty Church, an unexpected Covid “Dinner with Andre” from an independent filmmaker Onur Tukel! 

Never heard of it, didn’t know what to expect, watched it for over an hour ... and suddenly it grabbed me, and grabbed hard. It starts as a talkative, philosophical tract with 2 priests trying to deal with the very unusual pandemic that shut down their NYC church. They talk about it, and talk about it, and some of their parishioners enter the conversation and talk about it, but at the end, the anguish and desperation that they feel is being transcended. A bit, at least - 8/10

✴️      

First watch - Stanley Kubrick’s very first film, the short self-financed boxing documentary Day of the fight (1951)! Done when he was 23, fully cinematic and well-composed, with distinct narration The Killing-style.

Happy Find of the week!

✴️      

Bernadette Peters X 2:

✳️✳️✳️ Mel (“Fun”) Brooks’ slapstick film-about-filming Silent movie, a blatant Product Placement vehicle for Coca Cola. Bernadette Peters played the Madeline Kahn role, the very voluptuous Vilma Kaplan, “A bundle of lust”.

“You brought me papers?”

My father would have loved it!

✳️✳️✳️ First watch: Woody Allen’s 1990 Alice, a rework of Fellini’s Juliet of the spirits. With cameos of Thelonious Monk and Mother Teresa, and scenes of Mia Farrow smoking opium. Bernadette Peters was “The Muse” who had to wear reading glasses.

✴️      

So I also re-visited Fellini’s baroque Juliet of the spirits, with the delightful Giulietta Masina. Both Fellini and Allen cast their middle-age wives / girlfriends in the same role. Also, I didn’t realize that Fellini was gay, and his marriage to Masina was partly pro-forma.

Long Live Nino Rota!

✴️      

Gérard Depardieu X 3:

✳️✳️✳️ I have to see all of Truffaut‘s films again! His straight-forward, sweet, simple story telling style. First: The Woman Next Door, where the new neighbor is the old, tragic lover. L'amour Toujours.

And always with Georges Delerue‘s score.

✳️✳️✳️ "When are you coming, Cherie?" 

30 years ago I used to love Green Card, because 1. Romance with Andie MacDowell and 2. Similarities of my marriage of convenience of the same time.

It was actually a rarity, a comedy about immigration policy. I also used to like Peter Weir‘s films.

✳️✳️✳️ La Vie En Rose (2007), a standard French bio of Édith Piaf’s very hard life, full of Marion Cotillard, accordions, and endless grief.

Her music though was better. 3/10

✴️        

As if there was a pandemic, and you can’t get out of the house. Buñuel’s absurdist The Exterminating Angel, about a party of upper class socialites slowly descending into anarchy after getting stuck in a mansion and not able to leave. Uncomfortably claustrophobic and eerily nihilist. Re-watch.

✴️        

White, part 2 of Kieślowski’s ‘Trois couleurs’ trilogy. A disappointing revenge fantasy, whereby a hapless Polish hairdresser suffers a humiliating divorce and somehow manages to gain ‘equality’ by implicating his ex-wife in his fake death.

I loved ‘Blue’, but not this ‘Anti-comedy’.

✴️      

Shirley Jackson X 2:

✳️✳️✳️ Shirley, a “Woman’s film”, made by (nearly all) women, about “brilliant, tortured” writer Shirley Jackson, the author of ‘The Lottery’. Reminiscent of ‘Who’s afraid of Virginia Wolf’, but this younger couple are dull and uninspired. I didn’t find it compelling, except of the final cathartic scene at the edge of the cliff, overlooking the dive below.

‘Let’s pray for a boy. The world is too cruel for girls”.

✳️✳️✳️ Shirley Jackson’s horrifying short story The Lottery (full text here), published in The New Yorker, and featured at the opening scene of ‘Shirley’ above. A story about a small town in New England which follows a long-held tradition of stoning one member of the community every year in a ritual that is accepted by all.

✴️        

Al Pacino in William Friedkin’s Cruising, a commentary on the S&M leather scene at the end of 70′s NYC. Gay sex & open hustling were normalized, but within a story of a serial killer. Not homophobic, but unconvincing and disappointing. With Paul Sorvino and Joe Spinell. 

✴️ Documentaries X 3:       

✳️✳️✳️ Inside Deep Throat, a prurient 2005 documentary Produced by Brian Glazer and narrated by Dennis Hopper. With the typical HBO horrendous quick editing, it claims that Deep Throat is the one event that mainstreamed blow jobs.

America’s reactionary obsession with sex and porn and the politics of religion and morals which fucked it all up. Despicable Alan Dershowitz does his Talking Head shtick.

✳️✳️✳️ First watch: The Thin Blue Line, Errol Morris‘s breakthrough doc, which was faulted (justifyingly) for using reenactments in telling a real story. 

America is filled with so much miscarriages of justice, gun violence, police abuse, and crime, that it’s hopeless to navigate it.

✳️✳️✳️ Fox and the Big Lie, Australian Broadcasting Corp's doc - How Fox News promoted trump’s propaganda and helped destabilize democracy in the USA. Part 2.

✴️         

Why I quit Netflix (It’s true)

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

[kitkatd7]

I Hate You More

Summary: You're in love with Bucky- but he hates you. Right?

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x Hydra Survivor!Reader

Tropes: Bodyguard AU - Whump - hurt/comfort

Warnings: Angst, talk of previous torture, cursing, fluff ending

Word Count: 3,883

A/N: This isn't my best work but I hope you enjoy it regardless!!! Please let me know what you think as this is a combination of about 4 things I've never tried writing before! This was written for @waywardodysseys in the @marvelxreaderfanfictionfest!!!!❤❤❤ thank you @fandomsandxfiles for beta reading it!!!!

Masterlist of Masterlists

Marvel Masterlist

------------------------------

You had walked into the Avengers Tower conference room timidly, giving all of the Avengers a shy smile and small wave- You weren’t very trusting with new people but something about them felt… safe. As if nothing could ever hurt you again so long as you were with them. It felt like you were part of the family; It felt like home.

----Two months later----

Bucky was head over heels for you; He liked everything about you since the very first day he met you. He craved your touch and loved the sound of your laughter more than anything, the way your eyes lit up when you were excited and how your intoxicating scent drew him in. And for him… that was a big issue. He wasn’t ready to deal with all of the emotions that welled within him when you were around and he definitely couldn’t admit his feelings. He told himself you wouldn’t feel the same way but deep down he knew he was just afraid. 

So he made a decision. 

God, it killed him to do it- but he made himself hate you; Forced himself to give you nothing but rude comments and cold glares at every turn. He didn’t talk to you unless he absolutely had to. 

You tried to be friends with him, you did everything you could think of; Invited him whenever you went out to the bar with Sam and the girls, asked him if he wanted to train together or watch movies- but he just sneered and turned away. After weeks of the same cold treatment you couldn’t handle all of the rejection and blatant hate you received from him, so you stopped asking him to do things with you and eventually you started avoiding him; made excuses not to go to movie night, making sure you were never in the gym at the same time as he was.

Regardless of the hate you received you couldn’t bring yourself to return it- quite the opposite, actually- You fell for him. Hard. Fell for the small smiles he gave so rarely (Even though they were never directed at you) The soft sound of his laughter ringing throughout a room and the sweet way he displayed his love for the team. His ocean blue eyes that you could get lost in so easily, the deep, warm lilt of his voice. 

Why did you have to be in love with the man who hated the ground you walked on?

------------------------------

A year later and he still hates you. 

Now you're standing in the conference room of the Avengers Tower, being briefed on your next mission by Director Nick Fury himself- Or you were being briefed before a certain tall, dark and brooding Sergeant stormed in. 

“Director, may I have a word? Privately?” He emphasizes, shooting you a deliberate glare.

“Well I would love to accommodate you, Sergeant, but as you can see I’m having an important conversation with Agent Y/L/N,” He states easily while Bucky looks at you coldly. “I’m sure whatever you have to say to me, you can also say to her as well.”

“I don’t want to be her bodyguard,” he says bluntly, switching his gaze back to Fury.

Chuckling lightly, Fury looks between your fallen expression and Bucky’s stone one. “Care to explain why, Sergeant?”

“She’s cocky, arrogant and reckless, she’ll do anything to get her way and God help us if she doesn’t- she’s stubborn and hard-headed.” Bucky regrets what he’s doing to you; He hates hurting you like this but he doesn’t know what else to do so he schools his features and presses on, delivering the final blow. “I enjoyed my time with Hydra more than I enjoy being around her,” he finishes, immediately regretting it when you flinch away from him and your mask slips, your features morphing into an overwhelming expression of pain and anguish. 

You quickly put your mask back in place, willing yourself to keep your eyes from tearing up. You subconsciously run your fingers over where you know the scars are on your forearm from when you were a prisoner of Hydra. Only Fury knows what happened to you and you’d like to keep it that way for the time being.

Sitting up, Fury starts stacking files briskly, giving you a small apologetic glance; He knows what effect the mention of Hydra has on you. “Well Sergeant, as much as I would love to help- I can’t. You are one of our best agents and she needs to be protected. Hydra wants her and we can’t let that happen. You know what they’ll do if they get her. We have bigger issues than your feelings at the moment, you may both go,” he says dismissively. 

Turning, you make your way out the door and away from both of them as quickly as possible as tears stream down your face despite your efforts to keep them at bay. After all this time his words and actions still cut deeper than any knife ever could. Why does he hate you so much? 

------------------

It’s been a little over a week since you were assigned your bodyguard and you're sick of it already. Why couldn’t you get a bodyguard that actually likes you? God, it’s frustrating; being tailed constantly by someone who probably doesn’t care if you live or die- especially when it’s literally their job to keep you alive. And as luck would have it, he has to go on your next mission as your bodyguard. You don’t need Bucky to go; It’s an easy mission, gathering intel from a double agent and you could easily do it by yourself. Child’s play. But Fury insists on him going with you. 

So here you are; Sitting in a club, sipping on bourbon and coke- Without the bourbon- Waiting for your contact to show while Bucky watches you from across the room. He’s trying to focus but it’s hard when you're wearing that; Form-fitting black jeans and matching knee-high leather boots, a tight, long-sleeve maroon crop-top that accents your curves perfectly. 

You usually wouldn’t wear this but tonight you're not you- you're just a girl out for a night on the town with her boyfriend- So you play your role, toying with your necklace and squealing excitedly when your ‘boyfriend’ comes and kisses your cheek before taking his place next to you. 

“So what do you have for me?”

He leans closer, whispering in your ear, “Rumlow has a meeting set up tonight, he’s bringing in another weapons shipment on the east loading dock by the river.” 

You rage inwardly at the information but keep in character, pressing your lips  to his before leaning to whisper in his ear, “What time?”

“11 o’clock sharp, he’s bringing his squad with him.” 

“Shit,” you mumble, faking a smile before standing to go to the restroom. “I’ll be back in a minute, baby,” you say cheerfully, loud enough for anyone close by to hear.

Bucky glares across the room at your contact, he knows it’s all a ruse- but he still bristles when the other man touches you, kisses you. 

His girl.

What? Where did that come from? She’s not yours, he reminds himself but he still rages inwardly.

He snaps back to reality when you stand and move towards the ladies' room. Anyone watching would have thought you looked like you were having the night of your life but he could see the energy and rage sizzling beneath the surface.

-------------------------

You storm into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind you. You lean heavily on the counter, staring at your reflection in the mirror as you will the tears to stay down but it’s no use. Rumlow. The man who literally ruined your life. He was your captor during your time with Hydra- He’s the one who gave you your scars. You run your fingers up under your sleeve, grazing the scars gently as the tears start to fall, the only sounds are your quiet sobs of anger and the tip-tap of the leaking faucet. You yank your sleeve down quickly when you hear the door open behind you. 

You whirl around, not expecting to come face to face with Bucky.

“What the hell are you doing in here Barnes? Someone could have seen you! Or what if someone comes in? You could blow my cover!” You fume, not really mad at him but you need an outlet for your rage. 

“Calm down, doll. I just came to see if you’re okay,” He murmurs, locking the door to keep you from being interrupted. 

“I’m fine,” You tell him unconvincingly, swiping at the tears that are rolling in steady rhythm down your face. 

“You don’t look fine.”

Scoffing, you turn away, leaning on the counter again. “Since when do you care?” You spit bitterly, turning your head away from him.

“I’ve always cared…” He whispers softly, reaching out to comfort you but his hand drops to his side, his fingers curling into his palm uselessly. His words surprise you and you look at his reflection in the mirror. You don’t know what you were expecting to see there; Sarcasm maybe? An indication that he was lying? But all you see is a gentle sort of… Openness and honesty on his face that confuses you all the more. 

“What do yo-” You start but you're cut off by someone banging on the door and yelling: “Hurry up!”

Snapping out of your thoughts and confusion, you push past him towards the door; blinking back fresh tears. “I have to go.” And then you're gone- making your way through the crowd quickly without a backward glance at the man who’s calling your name. 

------------------

Bucky walks towards your contact, sliding in next to him casually, but he’s raging inside. “What did you say to her?” He asks quietly, desperate to know what has you so absolutely wrecked. He’s never seen you like this… He’s seen you storm out of a room with tears running down your face (courtesy of him) He’s seen you punch a man in the nose for making a pass at you- But never like this. 

"Exactly what I was supposed to. It's my job to pass on the information and I did, it’s not my job to babysit the agents afterward or keep track of where they go."

"What. Did. You. Say." Bucky spits through gritted teeth, his metal fingers digging into the bar. 

Sighing, the agent turns towards him fully. "Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but since she's your girlfri-"

"She's not my girlfriend."

The agent gives him a disbelieving stare; one eyebrow raised in question. "It sure looks like she is. I saw you on the other side of the room- you looked like you were gonna slit my throat for touching her."

"I'm still considering it." 

Ignoring the not-so-empty threat, he continues; "I told her about the meeting Hydra Agent Brock Rumlow is having tonight and after I gave her the location and time, she split." 

Pushing away from the bar, Bucky slips on his leather jacket. "Who’s Rumlow? And where's she going?" He asks briskly, all business despite his wildly beating heart. 

"You really don’t know who he is? Sorry but that I can’t tell you- You’ll have to ask her. And she’s going to the east loading dock by the river, Rumlow will be there in less than an hour." 

Nodding curtly, Bucky storms towards the door, people moving out of the way when they see the frenzied looking giant of a man.

----------------------------------

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Bucky growls, pushing you against the brick wall in the alley that you're using for a stakeout point. You wince when your shoulder hits the wall painfully, your head tilting back to meet his anger-filled eyes.

“Staking out a dangerous Hydra operation,” You say nonchalantly.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, what are you actually doing here? Why are you going in without backup? Or telling me? What’s so important that you have to risk your life for it?” He demands, his Brooklyn accent growing thicker, expression darkening further.

Anger flashes in your eyes at his question. “Why the hell should I explain it to you? It’s none of your business, and even if it was it’s not like you would care anyway!!” You yell, heat rolling off of you in waves as he takes a step back, grip loosening as he stares at you in confusion and regret- He didn’t mean to be so hard on you. He was just worried.

“Doll-”

“I am not your doll,” You growl. “I am not some pathetic girl you can just order around like you own her and then treat her like absolute shit, so don’t start with me.”

He whispers your name as you stalk past him, heading for a better viewpoint. “I didn’t mean it like that, please…” He trails off, but you're already disappearing into the shadows.

“Damn it!” He huffs, slamming his metal hand into the brick wall before tailing you, finding another alley not far from where you are; watching the loading dock.

A little while later, Bucky curses when he sees two dark SUV’s pull up, followed by another two vans. He watches intently as ten men step out and approach each other- five from each group of vehicles. He strains to hear what they say, but even with his enhanced abilities, he can’t make out anything of use.

Before they get any farther than a few words, you spring out of the shadows close by, easily taking out three guards as Bucky swears again before racing out to help you. By the time he gets there, you’ve taken out another three- Thanks to the element of surprise and training with Natasha.

Firing his Glock quickly he takes out two of the remaining four, lost in the flurry of ringing gunshots and the sound of fists connecting with their targets. Springing onto the remaining two, Bucky tussles with them a moment before knocking them to the ground and turning to see another Hydra agent stalking up behind you as you scuffle with another, his knife drawn. Shit. He must have miscounted. Before Bucky can fire his gun again he’s tackled from behind, his gun skidding just out of reach as he scrambles to fight off his opponents. Rolling away from the first and rushing to his feet, he kicks the second squarely in the chest, sending him flying against the truck, his head lolling to the side; unconscious. Clamoring to his feet, Bucky rushes to grab his gun, firing it in quick succession, hitting his targets expertly- 4 rounds. 2 men. 1 goal. Turning quickly to locate you, he sees you straddling the last one, your knife pressed against his throat and your teeth bared dangerously. Approaching slowly, he watches as you whisper a name… Brock.

Bucky looks on in confusion as the man laughs dryly, his eyes glinting with… confidence?

You dig the knife deeper into Brock’s neck and watch as blood trails slowly down his skin, leaving scarlet trails in its wake. As Bucky steps closer, he catches the end of what the man was saying: “-You always were weak.” 

You visibly tense before throwing your dagger to the side and by the time Bucky jumps forward to pull you off, you’ve landed several well-aimed blows and Brock’s face is covered in blood.

You're all breathing hard as you struggle in Bucky’s grasp, lunging at the no longer arrogant man on the ground. “I am not weak, Brock. I survived- I survived every cruel thing you did to me; Every stab wound, every burn, every scar. Every. Single. One. And not only did I survive, but I made the most out of my life after everything you put me through; I got a job that allows me to catch bastards like you, and that job gave me a family- a family that doesn’t know my past and doesn’t care because they love me anyway. And all of that makes me strong. Stronger than you could ever be,” you growl, looking over your shoulder in surprise when you hear sirens and turn to see Fury’s black Tahoe screech to a halt, accompanied by three other black SUV’s; Agents piling out of them, guns drawn.

Bucky grabs your arm and hauls you back as agents surround Brock and you stare up at Bucky. “Did you call him?”

“I did.”

Wrenching out of his grasp, you turn towards him. “Why the hell would you do that? I was doing fine! I had it handl-”

“You mean we! I saved your ass! without me, you would be drowning in a pool of your own blood right now!” 

Snarling, you start with a biting remark when the world around you starts to spin and you stumble unsteadily into Bucky’s chest. You barely register Bucky’s arms wrapping around you or him calling your name as hot pain sears through your side. Everything seems fuzzy; Muffled. You swear you hear Bucky say your name but he sounds… panicked maybe? You can't tell, it sounds so far away and all you know for sure is your side feels like fire and then everything goes black.

-------------------------------------------------------

You try to open your eyes but close them again as bright lights flash above you over and over as you're rushed to the OR. You hear voices on both sides of you but it hurts your head to focus on their words. Opening your eyes again, agony greets you as the too-bright lights worsen your headache. Everyone and everything around you looks bleary. All you can feel is pain and a large, warm hand engulfing yours. You feel like your about to fall back into the abyss when you hear another voice-

Bucky?

"It's okay sweetheart, I've got you. Stay with me doll! Please- don't leave me. You’re gonna be okay, It’s okay." You're not sure if he actually says the last part or if it’s your imagination- what you wished he would say. Hell- you're not even sure if it really is Bucky running next to your trolley or if it’s just the lights playing tricks on you.

-----------------------------------

When you wake up everything seems blurry. Blinking, you glance around for the source of the annoying beeping, your eyes landing on a monitor system, the tubes and wires attached at various points on your body. You shift in your bed, wincing when agony sears through your abdomen.

When you groan in pain Bucky jumps to attention, taking in your tormented frown and confusion clouded eyes.

You look even more confused when your gaze lights on him. “How long have I been here? And... why are you here?” You ask; bewildered.

“3 days. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up- I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Bucky confesses, looking up at you through his lashes timidly- Under different circumstances, it would be funny. You’ve seen Bucky many things, but never so… small looking.

Your expression furrows further, your confusion growing. “You- 3 days- Why?”

“I don’t know.”

You look back down at your lap. “Were- were you with me? When they brought me here? I could have sworn I heard you and that you were holding my ha- Nevermind.” You mumble, keeping your eyes downcast. 

“I was,” Bucky whispers, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “With you, I mean… And holding your hand,” He confesses under his breath but you hear it nonetheless. You look at him again when he murmurs your name gently. “I was really worried about you.” 

Your brows knit together, puzzled beyond belief. 

“Why do you care? I thought you hated me?” You whisper so quietly he wouldn’t have heard if not for his enhanced hearing. His gaze jumps to your face as you pick at an imaginary thread on your blanket, blaming your boldness on the drugs they gave you. 

“I don’t hate you,” he says softly, looking down at his hands.

You laugh dryly, giving him a sad, calculating look. “Really? Because It sure seems like it- Judging by the cold glares and harsh comments. We’ve known each other for over a year and you're still like this- I’m beginning to think it’s just your personality... Why do you hate me?” You try to keep your voice even but it breaks, coming out as a broken whisper.

“Because it’s easier than the alternative!!” He half yells, his face flashing between anger and something you can’t quite place. 

“What’s the alternative?” You whisper, eyes on him as he runs his fingers through his hair.

Huffing out a breath, he stares at his hands like if he does it long enough he won’t have to answer your question. When your stare doesn’t falter he scoffs slightly, shaking his head- 

At you or himself you don’t know. 

“James…”

Bucky gives a short, mirthless laugh; eyes flashing indecisively.

I have a right to know,” you murmur, hoping to coax him into telling you. “Please…” You beg, more perplexed than ever.

“The alternative would be to tell you I really really like you and ask you out but I can’t do that because I’m scared that you’ll say no so it’s just easier to hate you!” He says frantically, face flushing scarlet as his jaw clenches in a hard line to stop himself from saying more.

Your move your lips but no sound comes out as his words sink in; recognition dawning on you. 

“I- You made me think you hated me so that you wouldn’t have to ask me out? What the hell, Barnes?” You fume, watching as his eyes widen at your outburst and he ducks his head in embarrassment. “Yeah… That’s about the size of it, Doll.” 

“Do you have any idea what you did to me Bucky? How many nights I went to bed crying because of you? How many times I rearranged my gym schedule and faked being sick so I wouldn’t have to go somewhere you were? All because you didn’t wanna ask me out! And you know what, the amazing part is that I couldn’t even hate you after all of it- Even though you were a total asshole I still liked you and thought you were amazing!” You finish, breathing hard.

“You like me?” Bucky asks, his whole face lighting up with hope.

“Really? That’s all you got from that?” You laugh, quirking an eyebrow at him as your eyes glint with amusement.

“Um, yes?”

You burst out laughing at his confused puppy look, gasping when a wave of pain washes over you. "Well, I guess that's the important part," you huff playfully. 

Bucky chuckles lightly but his eyebrows draw together in a puzzled line when you stare at him expectantly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm waiting for you to ask me out like you said you would, dummy, " you tease, the corner of your mouth turning up in a smile as his eyes light with understanding. 

"Hey, doll?" He asks, continuing when you give a low hum of acknowledgement. "Would you like to go out with me?" 

Your whole face lit up as your eyes sparkled. "James Buchanan Barnes, I thought you'd never ask."

-------------------------------------------------------

Reblog with tags! Please tell me what you think!

#kits writing #i hate you more #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #angst #fluff #whump #hurt-comfort #angst to fluff #bodyguard AU #bodyguard au

[larryfanficwriter98]

Ten

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

-SMEXY TIME NEAR THE END I'LL WARN YOU JUST BEFORE IT STARTS- Also please enjoy my Storytime about this chapter's journey

Let me tell you about the roller coaster that this chapter has been through. I have rewritten this chapter a million and one times in the last few weeks that I honestly have no idea how I finished it. Then right when I got the idea I wanted to stick with my phone BETRAYED ME BY PLAYING GOSPEL MUSIC WHILE WRITING MY SMEX SCENE!!! GOSPEL!!! I was raised catholic though I'm not religious anymore BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHEN THAT WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN VERSE CAME ON AS I WROTE ABOUT GAY RIM JOBS!! My grandma probably rolled over in her grave a few times, my lights flickered, my computer went out of sleep mode...y'all made me summon my grandma and that woman does not like me. She opened my closet door and had the nerve to not shut it after she left. My grandma sang that song every morning so that song summons her and it just happens to be the song that plays while I write about one of the many things she did not believe in.

Side note- Not sure if roadblocks are a thing in the UK/Manchester area but in my town there is a roadblock every Friday and Saturday night (obviously except during the pandemic) and when I tell you they will find every drunk driver above the legal limit that is on the main roads I am not exaggerating. So I mentioned them in this chapter because I'm American and that's what I'm use to. Also throughout this story you will notice I go back and forth between UK English and USA English because I try to respect that this is technically based in the UK and they're British and I know a lot of my readers are British, but I am not therefore I use different wording. If you are ever confused and can't find the correct term googling it please comment and I will tell you what it means.

That is all. Enjoy.

On his days off and hours he had to spare during his workdays Harry finished Freddie's bedroom and had went through Maddie's old clothes in her closet that no longer fit. He also had started going through the toy room downstairs digging through the toys from many years ago that he still had that she played with occasionally for a few seconds. He reorganized the toys and space and made sure there was plenty of room for Freddie's toys and future toys he knew he would buy him come Christmas and his birthday. He took down a few old princess dresses that didn't fit and the accessories and made a note in his home journal to ask Maddie if she wanted him to replace them when he spoke to her next. He made little notes as he threw toys in bags or moved larger things out of the room and by the week of Halloween his home was all ready for Louis and Freddie to start moving in. He left his Murano and keys at Louis' place for that week while he took his Audi to and from work for the few days that he worked and the other days he helped Louis and as promised he was the one who took the train table apart and rebuilt it back inside the playroom at his house.

"Come on Louis all five of us are off tomorrow I can call Amy and ask if she can babysit Freddie at my place and we all go there afterwards." Harry begged.

"Harry, I haven't even met Amy yet or talked with Freddie or even had five minutes to think about it. I'm not going to stop you from going out with your friends and if you want to invite Zayn out then go ahead, he'll be all for it. But I just- I haven't been out to a pub in years not like that at least. The last time I left Freddie with anyone other than Zayn or my mom I was given a fifteen-minute lecture about the apparent abuse and neglect I was inflicting on him by being twenty-two and having fun. I just...I don't want to leave him alone and-"

"Louis you are entitled to have fun a few nights. You're allowed to get a babysitter for a night once in a while. Amy is amazing and you will love her instantly and Freddie will like her. You will cause more harm not taking some you time than you will going out once a month to get drunk. We won't even get wasted we'll eat greasy bar food and have a pint or two then go home. I swear to you, you and I will not get drunk if you're worried about not being available for Freddie tomorrow. You're an amazing Papa Louis and I have no doubt a little hangover will never stop you from being there for Freddie but if you want to stay sober then we can."

"I'm not going to make you stay sober just because I am the lamest twenty-four-year-old around."

"You're not lame. You're a parent. A parent with full time custody. I'm not, I don't have all the...precautions and feelings that you do. It's okay to have boundaries with your son, if you don't want us going inside a home, he is at drunk then we won't drink, or Amy can watch him at your place, and you can drop us off at mine then go home. Whatever you want it's fine and we will respect that. You don't have to worry about hurting feelings or sounding lame. Liam and Niall will completely understand if they are limited to one beer. They will respect that."

"It's not that either. I just want to think about it first. Tell you what, tell Amy to call me at my lunch if she can then I'll give you my answer after we talk." Louis said as he unlocked his classroom door before walking to his desk and setting his stuff down.

"Alright. I'm sorry. I just- I think it'll be fun for all five of us to do something before Halloween this weekend. Since you don't have school tomorrow and I'm off until the third and Liam and Niall are off tomorrow, they proposed a night out. It's okay if you don't want to though, we'll all be together Saturday anyway."

"I'm not upset or feeling pressured relax. I just want to think about it. I will let you know everything when I know." Louis said grabbing Harry's hands as he leaned against his desk.

"Okay. Fair enough. I'm going to go home and finish some last-minute things for this weekend then tomorrow we can go shopping together with Freddie then pick up Maddison and have a family dinner outing then have a family movie night. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds like a wonderful Friday night. I'm glad you were able to get Maddison this weekend."

"Yeah, it wasn't easy. I'm just happy I can have her around my family after so long. My family hasn't seen her in years. Not in person for more than a few minutes at a store at least. I should go before your kids come into the room and see me with their teacher. I'm sure that's in the rule book somewhere."

"Something like that." Louis agreed, "You're allowed in my room just no inappropriate displays of affection upfront of students."

"Ah so I should get my goodbye kiss before they come." Harry said quickly grabbing Louis' face and kissing it all over. Louis laughed and swatted at him pushing him off before he pulled Harry down for a proper kiss with his hands on Harry's wrists as Harry's hands cups his face.

"MISTER T!" Louis jumped pulling away turning red as his early arrivals entered his classroom teasing him already.

"I'll talk to you later." Harry said chuckling.

"Oh, don't stop on our behalf." One of his students teased.

"Don't you kids have breakfast to attend?" Louis said.

"Why should we when the tea is obviously all right here." Harry laughed before he kissed Louis' cheek and left the classroom with a grin leaving Louis to fend for himself amongst the teenagers, "is that the fiancé mister T?"

"Yes, it was and you three saw nothing."

*****

"You didn't text me after lunch." Harry said by way of greeting Louis when Louis got into the Murano.

"I know I forgot my charger at the apartment and wasn't able to charge it. The Nursery teacher called me after Amy, and I had to talk to Freddie because he was upset, he forgot his stuffy at the apartment. I obviously couldn't go get it then my phone died just as I was starting to calm him down, so I haven't eaten my lunch yet nor have I been able to text you." Louis said with a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry. You know you can add my name and number to the nursery call list. I can do things...I am going to be your husband, your partner."

"I know you've told me this before I just keep forgetting to since the mornings are always so routine and the afternoons, I'm usually ready to just go home."

"Well how about we do it today. We'll go in together. Then I'll call the boys and tell them we can do it another time and-"

"No, we can go tonight as long as Freddie is okay by the time we want to leave. I told Amy she can come by an hour early so Freddie can get comfortable with her first and we'll decide then anyway."

"Are you sure? It's okay if you want to stay home and get pampered."

"I could use a beer. One beer for me at least."

"Okay. And if we have to wait until Freddie goes to sleep to have that one beer we can. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me as long as you and Freddie are comfortable and happy." Harry said kissing his hand as he drove across the street to the nursery.

******

Louis had kept himself at one beer though he had tried to convince Harry to have fun and get drunk, but Harry had kept himself at two. That didn't stop him from going on the dance floor with Liam who was already on his fourth beer.

"So, tell me about Freddie. I mean obviously Harry talks about him all the time, but I'm sure you can tell me something new." Niall said.

"Really? What does Harry tell you?" Louis asked not at all bothered just curious, he knew Harry had told his friends about Freddie, but he didn't realize Harry talked about Freddie with them.

"Literally everything. The easier question to answer would be what he doesn't tell us. He loves that boy you know, has a picture of you and him in his locker beside his picture of Maddie. Has a picture of him in his wallet too. Harry includes him when he talks about Maddie and sometimes when he gets really animated, he calls him his stepson instead of his fiancé's son. It's cute and I don't think he realizes it." Louis grinned as he looked over at Harry who was being spun by Liam.

"I didn't know that. I think he's worried about going too fast with Freddie considering everything."

"Yeah, he is, but he means well. I get why you two waited so long to mention it to us, with Harry's court situation and with Hannah and with you having Freddie. It's understandable you two just wanted to stay on the low until you knew where it was going. What I don't understand however is why have a wedding so soon?"

"Yeah, Lou why so soon? Are you-"

"NO! No, I am not." Louis quickly said when he saw Niall's eyes widen with excitement, "No. I won't lie the custody situation did encourage me to push for it sooner and also we both wanted a winter wedding, but we also both wanted a small intimate wedding and with all those factors I figured why not do it in January. We talked about it and concluded that if we could make it work then why not. The custody situation alone didn't pressure me into it and neither did anything else it was just a why not situation. We knew we wanted to get married so why wait an extra year. There will be some sacrifices of course, but nothing that is very major or decision changing for either of us."

"I guess that makes sense. That's what Harry said as well that it was just sort how it was planned. I knew Harry wouldn't have pressured you, but I also know Harry can sometimes be a bit...pressuring without meaning to."

"I haven't felt pressured in anyway with him. I know he can be pushy at times, but he has always stepped back when he needed to. Actually, I haven't found any flaws except his puns and dad jokes and - is he always fucking perfect? Like is that a trait his entire family has or just him?" Niall laughed as he set down his fifth empty pint glass.

"Perfect? Harry? I have no idea what you're talking about. That man is not perfect."

"He is perfect, he's always so...composed and in control of himself."

"You do see him on the dance floor, right?" Zayn asked making Louis turn and burst out laughing as he saw Harry and Liam doing a circle while shimmying together.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT TOMLINSON!" Liam shouted.

"YOU PAYNO!" Niall shouted back.

"Go to hell Irish." Liam shouted as he grabbed Harry's hands and spun together dramatically.

"Okay so he's not always perfect..." Louis conceded, "But he's pretty damn close."

"I think you're blinded by those biceps Lou." Zayn said making Louis turn red as his jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!"

"I mean I can't blame you Dr. Styles definitely has a nice body. I'm impressed honestly. You're not one to go after muscular men."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Louis said looking down at his empty glass with melting ice.

"I tried to hit on Harry when he was transferred to Manchester Royal. I was already a nurse there and here comes this hot young doctor who had scrubs that hid nothing from view if you get what I mean." Niall said, "I mean I'm sure you get what I mean you probably caused a few...accidents during your secret stays." Louis buried his burning face into his hands and refused to acknowledge Niall and Zayn laughing their asses off beside him.

"What kind of view are we talking about Niall?"

"Okay we're done talking." Louis said quickly interrupting that train of conversation as he slid out of the stool and headed to where Harry and Liam were, "I'm stealing him back." Louis said wrapping his arms around Harry's shoulders.

"Only for a few minutes Tomlinson I'll be back for him after a pint. And don't think a boner will deter me we slept in the same bed during puberty when we had sleepovers." Liam said as he headed back to the table with a playful wink and a blown kiss towards Harry who playfully caught it and put it in his pocket winking at Liam right back and puckering his lips. Louis chuckled shaking his head as he pulled Harry away from the table's view and further into the crowd of dancing people.

"Ready to go home?"

"In a little bit, it is getting really late considering we only planned to be out until eleven. I think it's one already."

"Yeah, sorry I know you wanted be home. We can leave-"

"In a little bit Harold. For now, this is as close to a pub date as you're getting from me for some time which means we have to snog in the middle of aroused strangers who are grinding on us in all directions and probably trying to grab one of our wallets without us realizing. It's a relationship requirement." Harry grinned nodding as he looked around.

"I think we're meeting all the requirements."

"All except for one."

"Ah right let me correct that." Louis laughed as Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and pulled him closer to his body just as their lips met. Slowly, almost hesitantly, their bodies started to move and after a few minutes, they were one of the many couples dry humping each other on the middle of the dance floor. Harry grabbed Louis' hand and spun him around then wrapped the arm around his waist and pressed him against his body causing Louis's breath to catch momentarily. He leaned back against Harry, leaning his head on his shoulder letting Harry keep his arms wrapped around his waist while his mouth stayed on his neck mouthing at him in various spots. Louis' hands slid up and behind to wrap around Harry's neck pulling him closer as he turned his face to kiss him again letting Harry's tongue take control while one of his hands cupped his cheek keeping him there. Louis could feel Harry's other hand twitching from where it was rested against his stomach, it was one of the things Louis had learned about Harry that he was very touchy and handsy when they snogged and tended to keep his hands firmly in place on his cheeks, waist, hips, or back not moving them at all except to those safe locations. Harry definitely liked to touch more than he liked anything while also being respectful and mindful of his hand placements and where it was deemed safe to touch. He was also very willing to let Louis be in charge, didn't seem to have any hang-ups about ''roles'' or positions that were stereotypically associated with carriers and non-carriers who were gay unlike most people.

"Oi if you're going to give us a free show at least do something worth watching!"

"Remind me to kill Liam tomorrow morning." Harry whispered against his lips.

"Sure thing." Louis said turning to face him only to be kissed again once he did, "We're being watched Harold."

"Fine. We can continue this behind a closed bedroom door preferably locked too." Louis chuckled as he followed Harry back to the table, "You're getting killed tomorrow morning. Are we ready to head out?"

"Sure, I am and yeah we are. I already paid the tab, so we just need to figure out who is the more sober one of us all and get to your place."

"That's probably Louis or myself." Harry said.

"I can drive." Louis offered, "I only had a pint, I'll be the safest if we hit a roadblock."

"Agreed. Here you are my love. Let's head home." Harry said placing the keys into Louis' hands before wrapping his arm around his waist and walking with him out of the building while the others followed closely behind.

"I have to pee so bad." Harry said running up the stairs as soon as the front door was opened. "Holy fuck my bladder is about to explode."

"Harry always has to pee after a beer. I swear it goes straight through him." Liam said shaking his head, "don't worry we'll show Zayn to the guest rooms and make sure he's comfortable."

"Thanks, I want to check on Freddie really quick. Zayn-"

"I'll be fine." Louis nodded then headed upstairs to Freddie's room entering it as silently as he could. He gave Freddie a forehead kiss then fixed his blankets and tucked him in. He grabbed Patches off the floor and laid the bear beside Freddie then stared at his son until he felt Harry sit behind on the edge of the bed.

"If you stay here any longer, he'll wake up and neither of us are strong enough to say no to a half-asleep Freddie wanting snuggles." Louis chuckled nodding but he didn't move. Harry stood only to kneel on the side of the bed and gently run his fingertips though the messy hair. He gave Freddie a light kiss as well then stood up and pulled Louis up wrapping his arms around his waist as he guided him out of the room, "let him sleep Papa bear. He's fine and we have a busy two days starting tomorrow."

"I know I know I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

"Uh huh. Sure, you did. I'm sure you were hoping he'd wake up."

"Only a small part of me was hoping that would happen. I can't help it he's growing up too fast and soon he'll be too cool for snuggles."

"I still snuggle my mom, if he's raised right, he'll never be too cool for snuggles. And trust me I'll make sure he's raised to love snuggles when he's fifteen." Louis laughed as they walked into Harry's bedroom, well their bedroom now since they were mostly moved in by now. Louis turned in Harry's arms, so they faced one another and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"You know Niall told me something at the table."

"Oh?" Harry questioned wrapping his arms around Louis' waist.

"He told me you have a picture of Freddie in your locker."

"I do in a magnetic frame beside Maddie. You're in the picture too."

"He also told me you call him your stepson when you talk about him."

"I might say that word a few times." Harry said nervously as his cheeks turned red, "I love Freddie, I've told you he's my family now." Louis grinned as he stood on his toes and pressed his lips against Harry's pulling him in closer by his hand in Harry's hair. He walked back until his back hit one of the boards of the four-poster bed frame. Harry moved in and completely covered his body with his own slotting himself between Louis' legs.

"I don't want to like assume anything but-"

"Harry I am pressed up against your bed post by my own decision and you're worried about assuming things?" Harry laughed nodding.

~~The Smex starts in a few paragraphs~~(Smex spelling is so wattpad doesn't get their sensitive feelings hurt by already pre-tagged warnings of smex and the mature thingy tagged...they're pansies)

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted...assuming you're not on contraception methods which I'm not going to make you get on or anything obviously I know that can affect your body more ways than they tell you, I was going to ask what you wanted to do like if you wanted to top or if you have a preference. I'm sure you've noticed I have none and am completely fine with any method since I can't get pregnant. I mean obviously I have condoms and I’m obviously clean and everything I just don’t want to assume anything like you want to bottom just because you’re a carrier and I don’t want you to assume I only want to top because I’m not a carrier and I have an ‘’alpha male job’’ as some like to call it nowadays.”

“Oh well I usually don’t top unless I’m in my more fertile week. As I’m sure you know since men don’t ovulate or menstruate, we have a week of higher fertility rate that we can track by weekly pee sticks. Don’t care to know the science behind it so please don’t tell me.”

“I can give you a long lecture about your hormones and-“

“Don’t make me soft Harold.”

“Well alright. Are you-“

"No, it's always the first or second week of the month, it sometimes comes in the middle of the week, I usually take one very two days until I get it. So, stop worrying and stop talking." Harry chuckled as he pressed his lips against Louis' again pressing himself against Louis who was pressed against the bedpost. Louis' hands ran up under Harry's shirt bunching it until Harry pulled it off followed by Harry pulling Louis' shirt off. Their jeans and pants were off and in a few short moments Louis was bent over the bed with Harry between his legs giving him a mind-numbing rim-job. Something that not five minutes ago Louis would have said he hated because he never had a good one. Louis was very aware of the fact that they currently had six people on the same floor only few feet from them and one of those people being his son, which was why he was trying extremely hard to stay as quiet as he could. However, when two fingers joined Harry’s tongue at his entrance Louis gasp resisting the want to push back against them.

“I could do this all night. How are you feeling?” Harry asked smugly.

“Like if you continue, I’ll cum way too soon.” Louis said trying to swat at Harry but missed.

“If you think that’ll stop me you’ve got another thing coming. Literally.” Louis burst out laughing which quickly turned into a too loud moan that Louis just knew anyone awake on the second floor heard it.

“You ass you did that on purpose.”

“Well, they say you are what you eat.”

“You did not just say that.” Louis said laughing as he buried his face in a pillow muffling any and all sounds that came from him from that point forward. Harry kept his promise as he spread his cheeks wider giving him more room to lick his entrance pushing his tongue in.

A large hand wrapped around his cock and started tugging on it painfully slow while his tongue moved as fast as physically possible. When Harry removed his tongue, he sucked and ran a thumb over the wet hole before going back in not giving Louis any time to breathe between all the sensations. Despite all that not once was it hurried or rough in a way that took away the intimacy of a first time together. Louis moaned as he felt his orgasm building, he could feel it all building under his skin and when it was released it was released in strong spurts on the duvet cover underneath him and Harry didn’t stop until nothing else came out. Then when Louis was sure he’d get some time to breathe Harry pushed two thick lubed fingers inside of him making him groan in pleasure and slight pain at the over simulation.

“You’re not going to let me breathe?” Louis asked breathlessly.

“You’re breathing now, aren’t you?” Louis laughed shaking his head, “You’ll be fine I have faith in you and your lungs. You just relax and enjoy and let me know if you’re too sensitive. I am a doctor I know how to avoid a prostate.”

“No get out you’ve gone and ruined it with a doctor joker.” Louis said.

“Oh hush.” Harry said leaning over Louis to kiss his shoulder as his fingers slowly moved inside of him. Louis was all for slow fingering, but it was currently almost three in the morning and they had a long busy weekend coming up.

“Harry I’m all for slow sex and all but it is almost three in the morning and-“

“I’m obviously not doing it right if you’re able to think.” Louis opened his mouth to retort that Harry was doing great and it was just that it was almost three in the morning, but all thought process escaped his head when Harry pushed three fingers inside of him and started thrusting them, brushing them against his prostate. He moaned not even bothering with the pillow as he gripped the duvet in his fists before Harry rolled him on to his back. He arched his back as his legs spread almost automatically to give Harry’s arm more space between his legs. Louis cursed repeatedly when Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ head sucking it down as he fingered Louis, his second orgasm came as a surprise as Harry swallowed it all before Louis even realized he was cumming. Louis pulled Harry down for a kiss as soon as he had enough oxygen in his body and felt no shame when he could still taste himself on Harry’s tongue. His hands gripped Harry’s hair before he rolled them over, so he was straddling Harry’s hips as they snogged. Louis reached over and grabbed the condom on the nightstand then opened it and slowly slid it down Harry’s hard cock. Harry gasped tensing when Louis rolled the condom on before he relaxed and helped position Louis as he held himself in place. They broke the kiss momentarily so Harry could help guide Louis, he thrust up just enough, so the head entered the ring of muscle then his mouth was back on Louis’ to muffle the majority of the sounds that came out as he slowly slid himself down. When Louis was completely seated on Harry, he knew neither one of them would last long for multiple reasons. Louis slowly started a rhythm that he was comfortable with at first since he hadn’t had sex in years then slowly it sped up by both of their doings then Harry rolled them, so Louis was on his back when Louis was wearing out. The new position and angle had Louis burying his face in Harry’s neck before Harry was kissing him again. Harry started thrusting harder and faster leaving Louis to gasp and let out high pitched noises that he couldn’t help and only hoped they were as quiet as they seemed. When Louis came for a third time it was followed almost immediately by Harry as he groaned holding Louis close to him keeping their faces buried in the other’s neck.

“Holy fuck I can’t move.” Louis burst out laughing as rubbed Harry’s sweaty back as they slowly caught their breathes, “I’m serious I can’t move. We’re stuck like this. One and done.”

“I wouldn’t call that one and done.” Louis said making Harry laugh, “I’d call that almost two hours and done.”

“Last time I focus on your pleasure.” Harry joked before he kissed Louis’ forehead then straightened up and gently pulled out. Louis watched as Harry got off the bed and headed into the bathroom leaving the door wide open as he balled up some toilet paper and pulled the condom off. After tying it off he tossed it in the trash then he wet a washcloth and wipe himself off before he came over to Louis and wiped him off making sure to get everything from lube to the dried cum on his ass from when he rolled over the first time. Once that was done, he tossed it into the hamper and pulled off the duvet.

“Are you really stripping your bed? Right now?” Louis teased.

“No, I’m just pulling the duvet cover off, so we don’t accidentally sleep in cum or lube. If you dirty my white duvet, you’re in trouble though.”

“I promise not to ruin your fancy duvet.”

“Good.” Harry crawled into bed and pulled the duvet over them, “Come here and cuddle.” Louis grinned turning to face Harry as he snuggled into his warm body tucking his head against his chest and wrapping his arms arounds his waist, “Perfect. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

#Larry Stylinson #larry shippers #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larries #fake marriage #larry fake marraige au #nonfamous au #doctor harry styles #teacher louis #Wattpad #archive of our own #parents au

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 132

July 21

So I got as far as writing the date on this journal entry when I got a text in the group chat that one of my TNR friends was bringing in a five week old kitten that was sick. The recovery room he got taken to didn't have supplies for a sick baby, so I packed my kitten emergency kit and headed down there just before 10pm. I took a snuggle safe (microwave heating disk), a heating pad, a stuffed toy cat for fake mama purposes, and some high quality kitten food. I also took along chicken baby food in case he didn't want to eat, as well as formula and a syringe with a miracle nipple in case he was younger than we thought. And if things were really rough, I took my lactated ringers solution, a butterfly needle and a syringe to deliver sub-q fluids. So prepared!  I was very sad that Starbucks was not open, but that is probably better for me anyway.

 When I get called out at night for Red Cross or kitten rescue stuff, I usually have a drive ahead of me. We live in a little town bracketed by many larger cities, so I'm almost always called out to one of those. As soon as I get in the car and set my GPS, I plug my phone into the sound system (old school, yeah?) and blast the soundtrack to Come From Away. Nothing chases away the sleepiness and gets the blood pumping like that opening track, and the subject matter is so on point. More for Red Cross stuff, honestly, but at this point my body basically has a Pavlovian wakeup response so it's all good. It's the second song that really gets me going though, I think because of all characters in musical theater, it's Beulah Davis who embodies the me that I would like most to be.  And because it reminds me of why I joined the Red Cross in the first place, during Hurricane Harvey. 

"Crystal I saw on the news that they're looking for blankets and bedding And maybe some food. Do you know what they need and how much? I need something to do, cause I can't watch the news anymore! Can I help, is there something?  I need to do something to keep me from thinking Of all of those scenes on the tube, I need something to do Cause I can't watch the news, no I can’t watch the news anymore!" 

I think there just comes a certain point when something bad is happening that you do make the decision that you absolutely have to do something to help. That impulse got me self-deploying to a Red Cross shelter for Hurricane Irma when I was so new I didn't even have a vest yet (another volunteer gave me his spare) and it was the impulse that had my new colleagues working through days and nights to handle two massive back-to-back hurricanes a third of the country apart. I listened to this soundtrack back then, too, and it's always stuck in my mind. Going to the next town to help a sick kitten is perhaps less elevated a calling, but it's still trying to save a life. 

Anyway, I blasted my music all the way to the recovery room, and got a look at the kitten. He's just a scrawny scrap of a thing, all bones and fluff and goopy eyes, but he had some energy and was drinking and eating, so that was great. I realized I forgot my damn flea comb when I was packing everything but the kitchen sink, so they'll have to comb him out tomorrow. Poor bitty definitely has fleas, but is not in shape for a bath and too little for medicine. He's going to the vet tomorrow morning. For the night we cozied up his cage with a warm snuggle safe in a soft case and a snuggly fake mama cat. I left all the stuff I brought at the recovery room, just in case, since I'm going to be gone all next week and we are suddenly up to our eyeballs in kittens of all ages. At least they'll have access to formula and a miracle nipple if they need it! 

As I was driving home, I was treated to an absolutely spectacular show of heat lightning that lasted nearly half an hour with flashes just a few seconds apart. I much prefer that to the rain they were predicting, though at least now I don't have to worry about kittens in a storm drain. And because I did not get the coffee I was jonesing for, I do have some hope of sleeping tonight. 

Okay, now for the stuff I was actually going to talk about today, which thankfully wasn't too much. I started the morning early with another stakeout for Mamacat, once again unsuccessful. I just do not think she is hanging around the drain anymore! I waited for an hour and a half and saw not hide nor hair. I'll keep dropping off food for a few more days, just to be sure. The auction I've been following ended today, and as usual there were a flurry of last minute bids that drove a lot of the stuff I bid on out of my price range. That's okay, most of it wasn't stuff I actually needed, and it's good that these people who had to close their business are getting something back from their inventory and equipment. I did get some good deals though, especially on big baking pans and loaf pans. It's time to learn to make Italian bread, yay! 

The kiddo got his room cleaned today with help from his dad, so it is all ready for his new bookshelf to come tomorrow. He also got his electronic privileges back, so he spent most of the day alternating between Minecraft and Prodigy. Two digit multiplication is still hard, but he's hell on wheels for patterning and pretty good at factors so he didn't get too overall frustrated. He and his dad also watched Flight of the Navigator at dinnertime, one of my husband's favorite movies from when he was a kid. I really need to find a copy of SpaceCamp, my favorite childhood movie. I have a feeling it does not hold up at all, but it is soaked in enough nostalgia that I'm sure I'll still like it. I hadn't even thought about it for ages until Kelly Preston died last week, and then I was sad. It was just such a fun movie for a kid who loved space but was too afraid of heights to ever be an astronaut. Maybe I'll see if I can find it streaming anywhere tomorrow. 

#quarantine #volunteering #kitten #feral kittens #come from away

[dangerouslysmartslime]

My Little Pony The New Generation

Seems like the things that remembering of what happened in Generation 4 waws the olden times where the pony kinds were friends and didn’t use magic against each other. IE Generation 4 of the Friendship Pope. That the main character is a girl obsessed with the era of Generation. A lighthouse and Sunny will know, you stand up for what you believe in. Show everypony that we’re friends. That maybe today is that day! A father that loves his daughter with all his heart~! And the two colts that she was playing with, one of them she will see as an adult on her adventures as shown by the trailers and the other had the depressing note of wanting to be Sheriff, and everyone knows that Police Officers are reviled for keeping people in line, especially colored by their own bigotry, so insert the “Lois and Clark” Yikes. Sunny and her father write a letter to the unicorns and pegasi only to tell the story of Generation 4 to Sunny. A friend to fly around or float things, why can’t we be friends anymore? That is a great question, but we’ll figure it out together. And the drawings that she has as well as all the things she has of Generation 4 is so adorable!! Only to flash to when she’s an adult and the movie actually starts~! Sunny gets herself dressed with the same sort of pins I use on my hat. She gets ready her bag and she looks at pictures of her father in a way that mean it seems like he’s dead… And the movie goes into the first musical number. “Canter Logic” She goes on a ice cream run for a job, only for that colt who said he’s be a Sheriff to chase after her… And steal somepony’s milkshake and cookies… She gives a balloon to someone who wanted one, only for that one colt to continue being the worst pony in the movie so far in terms of douchbaggery. She is going and showing her enthusiasm for life while the colt continues to chase after her cleaning up all the kindness she wishes to do and come to University. A squad of critters like Fluttershy only he doesn’t actually like it. Annual presentation at Canterlot. Hey, come on! Sprout was actually just doing his job when Hitch was giving him orders. “Every year you sneak in and every year you try” As a friend not as a Sheriff, don’t? Someone litters and Sprout is continuing to be an asshole so I was right. So Sunny is mischevious only to find that this is a factory much like the memed on Rainbow Factory… Canter Logic is Phyllis Clovery, the mother of Sprout, and the actual biggest asshole. Oh wait, she actually is the main antagonist because she’s a bigot. Yep, markets her products for bigotry and wha… Ant-mind reading? And keeping eye on the sky doesn’t make sense… The earth pony balloon escape pack doesn’t work. Only for Sunny to try to protest it and she does it in a dumb way and her friend who is the Sheriff stops it by pulling the plug. “Aren’t you tired of being scared all the time? The truth is, we’re not in danger! We don’t need any of this Canter Logic junk!” Just imagine if you had a friend who could fly or do magic. That everything you hear is wrong when they could be friends and still could be! And “Phyllis is still a bigot.” To uphold it? Everypony includes Pegasi and Unicorns, “Then prove it” means she’s going to be go on an adventure. And the one friend that she has is an asshole to her because due to propaganda he says that it’s just an old filly story concocted by her father. She then looks to the sky and mourns her father once again, wishing he was here. Only for… Izzy Moonbow the Unocnr meets Sunny and all the bigots (IE everyone except Sunny) panics as the bigots… Really? That seems a little harsh. Well yeah, they’re bigots, what do you expect Izzy! Izzy plays it like a game of hopscotch only to get trapped by a trap because she was looking at Terminator Judgment Day. Hitch then lectures her. So, you’re named Sunny? Bye! Nice to meet you now! Hitch acts like he’s the only sane man, but in reality Izzy is just as enthusiastic as Sunny as being a silly dork. Nooo, I can’t make it float but I can open cans! Tada! No magic…  So the bigots keep being bigots and they flee. No magic? But we did have magic and that was many moons ago and everyone is racist because the magic leaves. Unicorn with no magic and everyone is a bigot. Earth ponies have a lot of bigoted stories while only 3 stories unicorns. What if they don’t! And then there’s the musical number 2. Neat… Two folks becoming friends who are looking out for each other like Sunny is friggin friendship pope with Pinkie Pie. So they get an apple to have a snack and continue trotting along to try to get to the land of Pegasi. Hitch is the “perfect guy” in terms of taking care of himself and Sprout is now the Interim Sheriff. Still think Phyllis is the villain. Only to find that yes, everyone is bigoted against each other because they think everyone else did something bad. And… Can Pegasi not fly? No, the butch pegasus is here “there’s no way we could, there’s no way we could!” The shield is.. Can you fly to the moon? Well I do like sneakers. And then modern Americana appears in Zephyr Heights… Royal bash for Queen Haven and Princess Pip the influencer. Of course… Pip Pip Hooray? Pegasi do have a Castle, and it even looks like they stole Canterlot and renamed it. And… Both of the Pegasi are royalty. Earth Pony and Unicorn in Zephyr Heights, and no, not an attack ya silly. And Hitch goes after them and… Sprout is here but people are revolting? Wait, no they aren’t. “We need a real Sheriff!” Only for him to get all fearmongerin. I see… Whispering danger danger.. Generation 1 is shown… “Follow me mindlessly!” Angry Mob ANGRY ANGRY. Influencer advertisments and… “We haven’t seen a single pony flying except the royal family. Only for a princess to.. Just call me Zip.Izzy Moonbow. Important about magic? How does your work? The unicorns lost theirs. No magic. “Well, that changes things. Her father’s journal, and that star is actually like Twilight Sparkle’s journal. “Only royals can fly because for some reason they have magic. Nicorn hair and Pegasi! Hitch is looking for them only to find that the Pegasi captured them. When unicorns and Earth Ponies visited Zephyr Heights and the Wonderbolts were seen in a picture. The truth is they can’t fly either but just faking by… Wires and good lighting… A “ridiculous lie.” To… Soar using a fan. A bright sparkle, says Izzy. Canterlot’s old Stained Glass. It’s seen right there and now each one is placed in order, fitting. The Crystals go together united. So if they put them back together magic would return… The unicorn crystal Bridlewood is had. The Queen never takes her crown off… Swap real crown with decoy. Stealthy and stealing the crown. Paying a guest a visit and Pip is told. No one can fly, it is just a stage show… Because of course, Pip is just an influencer using a stage show and of course aother song… While Sunny and Moonbow are doing the plot~… But the dog happens, where the small dog is like a guard dog. And Hitch is also finding them, then the recording staff is like “Prisoners have escaped!” And Hitch is put on stage… “What is happening. The Royals are revealed to not be able to fly either, and they accidentally drop the Crystal… “Arresting you and saving you.” The Queen’s daughter, oh the Sheriff just became detective. The models of the characters look so much like the toys, Pip and Hitch join the party! Meanwhile… Canter Logic creates war machines complete with Sprout sounding like Vader when he’s really just drinking a milkshake. “Just make it work, okay!” “My town mommy” And that he is “Now Emperor” From Defense to Offense. “All thanks to encouragement” Hitch and Pip whining about being in the party. Look, once everyone gets magic back they’ll be heroes! Crystal clear and he deodorant have his badge. Between you an d me, the badge was creating an unhealthy power dynamic. Fair point. And they start giving up at a bridge being broken, only for Izzy opening the entrance because she knows the way. Breaking open a tree using her horn. They make a fire only for Hitch to be a whiny man lighting a fire “come on, don’t be a hero dude, just come here by the fire.” And they’re good to be a team, just like the Mane 6 of Generation 4. Only for Izzy to look down that the idea of being together is the best thing to happen, that getting friends is better than just getting magic. From Sunny there was that friends in Maritime Bay. That someday they’d prove that all ponies are meant to be friends. That Hitch wants to do his part, “what do we have to lose, right!” Not far from all the SIGNS OF DEATH LIKE THIS IS THE EVERFREE FOREST. “The Villa Izzy~” And all the silly things that she made like Izzy’s friendship bracelets and a tea set… Only for Izzy to be sad for not having a tea party and… A glow up? Although they’re difference races they should unite like the ancient politics of the Friendship Pope~! Comes another song. And it was a fun song so I sang along. Unicorns are very superstitious as to have magic, feather, wing, and mayonnaises. No forbidden words like Mayonnaise. The Unicorn Crystal is owned by Alphabettle, and he can smell fear. “Tea” Hold, the milk, quite the game player I see, why, do you play? I don’t play I win?” Just Dance! Both ponies agree, best out of three! Only need to win one out three for Sunny. Round 3… Here that sunny, feel the Rhythm take you over! I’m feeling it, go Sunny! And she wins with some hype from Pip! Only for the horn to fall off! And a Unicorn! Which you knew already! No, stop… No, don’t. It’s time to run… No pony has magic, but we’re here to bring it back! It can sound unbelievable, but trying is best.  But nooo she needs the 2 out of 3. SHE NEEDS THE 2 out of 3!!! Ye, they don’t have to fight! Sprout makes a tank and he cackles menacingly. That they can be separated by gear and distrust, or there can be friendship and love between the races, like her father. Like her loving father. SO they unite and the reincarnation of the Friendship Pope. The reincarnation of the Friendship Pope has brought the Magic of Friendship to Equestria again.

#my little pony

[crygimethydgoode]

Lover’s Fantasia Chapter 4 (Crystal Methyd x Gigi Goode RPDR12) New York

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32286397/chapters/80839384

Summary: February 2020 brings Crystal and Gigi to Las Vegas for the season 12 premiere, and New York City for press week. Meanwhile in Amsterdam, Crystal and Gigi are learning to trust each other again. 

but for you darling id do it all again

July 9th, 2021

Amsterdam

“You know... a year ago I would’ve killed for this with Crystal,” Gigi whispered on FaceTime with Symone.

“Oh, believe me, I know,” Symone laughed, and Gigi couldn’t help but smile.

“But it’s... it’s not what I thought it would be like. You know?” Gigi asked. Symone just cocked her head, waiting for her to continue. “The little weekends we had together were so desperate and fleeting. We felt like we had to make the most out of every minute because that’s all we had. But now we... well- it feels like we have all the time in the world here. And we’re just... taking our time. Becoming friends again. I think... trusting each other again. I don’t know. There’s no pressure. It’s just us in Amsterdam. It’s nice,” Gigi explained. “Don’t tell Hunter,” she added, and Symone started to laugh.

“Oh you know I won’t! You could tell him though. He won’t be mad,” Symone said.

“I know,” Gigi sighed. “He’d just be… I don’t wanna worry him.  I’ll tell him when there’s something to actually tell him, you know? Right now, me and Crystal are just learning to exist together.”

“Right,” Symone nodded. “Well, Rosy and I are happy for you. We’re glad you’re getting a second chance. And you know Gigi, while being with Crystal again isn’t what you imagined, that might be a good thing. Maybe this will be even better.” Symone said softly, and Gigi hated that her chest ached, hated that her stomach was fluttering. Hated that she felt hopeful again for something with Crystal. When she voiced this to Symone, she was met with a sympathetic smile.

“I can’t imagine how confused you must be. I mean- you two have a lot of history. A lot of shit you’ve gotta work through. And that’s okay. Okay?” Symone tried to stay positive, smiling sweetly.

“Okay,” Gigi whispered. “I just don’t wanna get my heart broken. Again. You know?”

“I know,” Symone said softly, and there were tears in both of their eyes. Old habits die hard. “You look out for yourself. Always put your happiness and well-being first, always. You’re too smart, too strong, too beautiful. You are Gigi Mothafuckin Goode! You’ve got this baby.”

“I’ve got this,” Gigi’s voice cracked, and she swore there were happy tears in her eyes. “I miss you,” she whispered. “Anyways. Crystal, Jaida, and I are going to a sexy leather club tonight, so I’ve gotta go. I love you, bye!” Gigi hung up and started to get ready for the night.

Apparently, Jaida had found a section in Michelle’s Amsterdam guidebook talking all about these gay bars where everyone was clad in leather and heavy piercings, and she insisted on everyone going. Michelle declined, using the time to FaceTime with her husband and daughters, who would hopefully be coming to visit soon. Gigi was hesitant to accept as well, but Crystal and Jaida were both so excited, and she didn’t wanna miss out. Besides, the guys will be sexy, Gigi will be drunk, and Crystal will be... Crystal. Why not?.

So Gigi got ready and went down to the coffeeshop to wait for Crystal and Jaida, hovering by the door. Then she felt her phone buzzing and looked down to see Jaida calling her.

“Hello?” Gigi said into the phone. She immediately had to pull it away from her ear, the pounding music was so loud.

“GIIIIIGIIIIII IM DRUNK!” Jaida screamed, and Gigi let out a small laugh.

“I can hear that,” she chuckled.

“I'M STILL GONNA COME TO THE LEATHER BAR, BUT NOT FOR ANOTHER LIKE... HOUR AND... LIKE AN HOUR AND A... NOT MORE THAN TWO HOURS! I DON'T KNOW! I’LL MEET YOU THERE, I PROMISE! I LOVE YOU!” Jaida yelled, and hung up without getting a response from Gigi.

“Okay then,” Gigi said to no one, putting her phone back in her pocket.

“What?” Crystal said, coming down the stairs. Gigi tried not to look at her for too long, admiring her mullet that had been piled into a messy bun on her head.

“Jaida is at some club, she’ll meet us in a couple hours,” Gigi explained, giving Crystal a knowing grin. “I like the hair, by the way. Very main character of you,” she couldn’t help but add, and her grin only got wider when Crystal let out a loud laugh, leading them outside.

“I want my look to scream ‘my mom sold me to be One Direction’s sex slave’, you know?” Crystal quipped as they began to walk down the bustling Amsterdam street.

“‘Ello luv, I’m Harry. We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” Gigi said in her best Harry Styles voice, and they laughed the rest of the way to the club, reminiscing about all the shitty One Direction fanfiction they read in 2012. And then they arrived at the club, and Gigi’s smile immediately fell from her face. “Oh,” she whispered. “This place looks...” she trailed off.

“Scary,” Crystal said, and Gigi quickly agreed. The place in Michelle’s guidebook had unfortunately closed due to COVID-19. So Crystal looked up “Leather gay Amsterdam” on Google and they just walked to the first address. But Google maps took them down three different narrow side alleys, into a side of town neither of them had been to. The street was dimly lit, and Gigi couldn’t help but feel like Harry Potter in the second movie, walking past all the dark wizards in Knockturn Alley. Weird example. It was scary. “So should we- should we go in?” Crystal asked, voice small.

“I guess,” Gigi replied, completely unsure of herself. And so they went into the bar together. Once they got through security and were inside, the first thing Gigi was able to process was the music pounding through her ears, making the floor vibrate. The second thing Gigi noticed was Crystal tightly clinging to her, and Gigi knew she was holding Crystal back just as tight.

“Are you okay?” Crystal yelled into Gigi’s ear. The music was so loud, Gigi could still hardly hear her. “Do you feel safe? We can leave if you want to,” Crystal said, and if Gigi weren’t so scared, her heart would’ve melted.

“Do you want to leave? Are you okay?” Gigi asked.

“I’m asking YOU if YOU’RE okay,” Crystal retorted, and now they were both smiling, despite the glowering man who was standing in the corner of the room with a whip.

“Well, I’m okay. Are YOU okay?” Gigi asked.

“Yes! I’m good. If you’re fine, I’m fine,” Crystal said and held out her hand. Gigi took it, putting on her bravest face. They decided to go to the bar, knowing they wouldn’t get through the night sober. Three tequila shots and two Rum and Cokes each later, Crystal and Gigi were getting less and less nervous about the club. Everyone was actually really nice, and the bartender was funny and knowledgeable about all things Amsterdam. Needless to say, Gigi was actually enjoying her night. Until some ripped, picture perfect dreamboat came up besides Crystal, immediately starting to chat her up, complimenting her hair and outfit, and- no way he just had the audacity to comment on her ass in those jeans. And Crystal was- fucking blushing. Great. Gigi sat rigid at the bar, staring directly at the wall ahead of her, refusing to look in Crystal’s direction. Gigi knew she had no claim over Crystal, knew Crystal had every right to be flirting with this guy. But it didn’t mean Gigi had to be happy about it. And then she heard the dreaded words.

“So... Can I buy you a drink?” The man asked Crystal. Gigi could feel Crystal’s eyes on her, knew that she could see the way Gigi’s shoulders had tensed up, the way Gigi was waiting with bated breath to see what Crystal would say.

“Oh uh... no thanks. I’m good with my friend here. It was nice meeting you though! Have a good night,” Crystal said kindly but firmly. The dude stalked off, but Gigi remained staring at the wall, trying to seem disinterested in everything. She could hear Crystal saying something, but pretended not to hear, instead drinking some random hard cider that the bartender put in front of them. “Gigi!” Crystal exclaimed, nudging her shoulder.

“Wha...?” Gigi said, trying to act clueless, faking a yawn. But she knew. “Did your boy toy leave?” Gigi asked nonchalantly, and Crystal was trying to hold back her laughter, and utterly failing. “Shut up,” Gigi giggled, and they were both laughing now, drinks in hand. “I’m surprised you rejected him. He was hot,” Gigi said once she was able to collect herself. Crystal gave her a funny look, slowly sipping her drink.

“Gigi... with everything going on... how could I be interested in him?” Crystal asked, and what the fuck did that mean? Maybe it meant that they were too busy in Amsterdam to worry about hooking up with random Dutch dudes. Or maybe it meant that Crystal wasn’t looking for anything like that with anyone, and she was just trying to focus on herself this summer.

Or maybe, just maybe, it meant that Crystal still wanted Gigi. Maybe Crystal wasn’t going to break her heart after all. Or maybe they were both just drunk and Gigi was reading into things too much. She never got the chance to ask that night, because right then, Jaida ran up to Crystal and Gigi, obviously plastered.

“HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY BITCHES!”

February 2020

Las Vegas

“We’re in Vegas bitches!!!” Jan screamed. Everyone cheered along with her. Finally, season 12 of Drag Race was premiering and the whole cast was reunited in Vegas. It also just so happened to be the first time Gigi saw Crystal since November.

“I’m trying to get over her, I am,” Gigi said to Hunter one day after scrolling through old pictures and videos of her and Crystal in L.A.

“You set yourself up for failure, Geege. You’re not gonna get over Crystal if you’re driving to Venice Beach with her at three in the morning.” Hunter was right. Gigi was trying to get over Crystal, but deep down, she didn’t want to. Because why would she want to? After all, Crystal was… Crystal.

“Well it’s not like I can avoid her, she’s one of my best friends and-” Gigi paused, biting the inside of her cheek. “And when I’m with her all my common sense just goes out the window,” Gigi felt Hunter’s stare but didn’t look up at him.

“When do you have to see her next?” Hunter asked.

“The premiere, in Vegas,” Gigi said, heart dropping just thinking about seeing Crystal again.

“Great. I’ll come with you,” Hunter said.

“What?”

“I’ll come with you, I will come babysit you and make sure you don’t do anything dumb like sneak out of the hotel in the middle of the night and walk the strip with Crystal,” Hunter explained. “I also just really want to go to Vegas.” Gigi was offended at first, she could take care of herself, but then she realized it truly wasn’t the worst idea.

“Okay,” Gigi agreed. And so the two boarded their plane to Vegas.

“What are you not going to do?” Hunter asked as they walked to the restaurant everyone was meeting at on the Vegas strip.

“I’m not going to do anything that could make me fall for Crystal-”

“Gigi!” Just then Widow, Heidi, and Crystal, who were also walking towards the restaurant from the opposite direction, spotted Gigi and Hunter. Everything Hunter had told Gigi on the plane ride left Gigi’s head because there was Crystal.

There was Crystal, who was running to Gigi, completely leaving Heidi and Widow in the dust. And Gigi couldn’t see anything else but Crystal, running towards her at full speed as Gigi felt her feet start running towards Crystal too. They collided, and the world was suddenly screaming in color once again.

“I missed you,” Crystal whispered, and Gigi melted into the hug. Hunter couldn’t even be mad at Gigi, he just ran up and pulled Crystal into a hug of his own before they all entered the restaurant together.

But now they were on the party bus, with all of the girls from season 12. Gigi sat between Hunter and Crystal, which sort of felt like having an angel and a devil on each shoulder. She wasn’t sure who was which.

It didn’t take long for Crystal and Gigi to slip into their old ways. Sitting together, Crystal’s shoulders and legs pressed against Gigi’s, both of them giggling messes. “Canoodling” is what Jackie had called it when she would tease them in the vans.

“Why am I not surprised?” Jackie joked, pointing a finger at Crystal and Gigi, who both were blushing. Hunter gave Gigi a subtle nudge.  

‘You’re setting yourself up for disaster’ she reminded herself.

“Crystal, why didn’t you bring Paul? We’re all dying to meet him,” Jan said. Gigi clenched her jaw, Hunter gave her a look. Crystal let out an awkward chuckle.

“Someone had to stay home and watch Tictak,” Crystal said.

“Don’t your parents live in the same town? Couldn’t they watch your cat?” Jaida said, stirring her drink.

“Uhm-”

“Alright ladies, we all know Paul is really shy, let's move on,” Widow said. Crystal let out a sigh of relief.

“I agree because I have a few more questions for you two,” Jaida continued, crossing her legs and turning to Crystal and Gigi. Gigi felt as if they were being interrogated. “We all know you had your get together in November. We all saw you two cuddling in the back of those vans, or in the Werkroom, or the green room. We just wanna know if there’s a little something going on, that’s all,” Jaida said. Gigi’s breath hitched in the back of her throat. Luckily, Hunter jumped in.

“Believe me, I was with these two in LA. The only thing they did was try not to fall while dancing,” Hunter joked. Everyone started laughing and Gigi hoped that was the end of it all.

Of course, it wasn’t.

“So you guys haven’t even like... kissed or anything?” Jan asked.

“You meddling fuckin kids,” Widow murmured under her breath. Gigi’s face was burning, could they tell? They could definitely tell.

“No?” Crystal said.

“Kiss...kiss...kiss...” Rock M. started chanting. Fuck. Dahlia, Nicky, and Aiden joined in. Of course, Brita, the loudest one there, had to start too. Suddenly everyone was chanting “kiss” like they were in high school and playing spin the bottle. Gigi looked at Crystal, ready to spill out an apology and say they didn’t have to kiss. But much to Gigi’s surprise, Crystal was laughing along with them.

She looked at Gigi and shrugged. Gigi looked back at Hunter who gave her the look he always gave right before she was about to do something dumb. He was clutching Gigi’s arm, his eyes screaming “Don’t you fucking dare,” Gigi just looked back at Crystal, a grin on her face. Gigi removed Hunter’s hand from her wrist, and grabbed Crystal by the waist.

“OH FUCK THEY’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT!” Heidi cackled. Crystal put her hand on Gigi’s face, leaned in, and kissed Gigi. It was soft, light, and utterly perfect despite being surrounded by their season 12 sisters. The kiss lasted a second too long, lingering. Lighting coursed through Gigi, who couldn’t even hear the eruption of cheers, she just fought the urge to kiss Crystal again. Crystal pulled away, giggling but blushing. Jan, Jaida, and Jackie waved their fingers together in the middle of the bus. Gigi could feel Hunter’s pointed stare but didn’t care all that much because she just kissed Crystal Elizabeth Methyd. And god, it was fucking magical and the only thing Gigi wanted to do for the rest of her life. Crystal buried her head in the crook of Gigi’s neck, face burning.

“That’s Vegas, baby!”

Amsterdam

“This is the best idea I’ve ever had!” Crystal giggled, walking through Jaida’s apartment door with all of her and Gigi’s makeup. After passing around a bottle of Dutch Gin, Crystal suddenly suggested that she and Gigi do Michelle’s makeup, each of them getting 1/2 of Michelle’s face.

“Y’all have fun, I’m gonna keep dancing!” Jaida cackled as she danced to the non-existent music. “I fuckin love this song!” Gigi just laughed, mind extremely foggy. She hadn’t drunk that much, had she? The bottle was passed so many times she lost track around her fifth swig. All Gigi knew was that Crystal was glowing. She had been staring at her all night, and really didn’t mind if Crystal noticed. Who cares? Gigi was in Amsterdam, and the only voice of reason in her life was time zones away.

“Okay! Michelle, I am going to do the classic Crystal Elizabeth Methyd face. Gigi?” Crystal prompted, a wild grin on her face.

“I’m... I’m gonna make you orange,” Gigi giggled, pouring out way too much foundation onto the back of her hand. “Shit.” Gigi just smeared it onto Michelle’s face. “Hope you don’t like that shirt too much.”

“My turn!” Crystal took her foundation stick and began to smear it all over Michelle’s face. Michelle couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“How were you two the runners up?” She laughed, causing everyone to start laughing.

“Because Ru is obsessed with me and Gigi is talented,” Crystal giggled.

“Hey! You’re both talented. My daughters came for my fucking head when I read you for your makeup,” Michelle said.

“Oh shit you're a mom, that’s right! What’s that like?” Jaida asked, now dancing with a houseplant.

“Well, it’s a pain in the ass. But I like to think my two girls turned out okay,” Michelle laughed. “No, it’s rough. You know I’m honest...”

“We know!” Jaida, Crystal, and Gigi all said.

“Shut up you bitches! As I was saying, it sucks sometimes. You try to know what’s best for them when in reality half the time you don’t know what’s best for yourself. One day everything’s fine and the next they hate you, and you don’t even know what you did wrong. And all you can do is replay your conversations in your head trying to figure out what you could’ve possibly said to strike a nerve like that. But it’s worth it, you know? I love my daughters more than anything, they truly are my world. It’s worth it,” Michelle said, and Gigi wasn’t even paying attention to what makeup she was doing on Michelle. She was watching Crystal, who was smiling softly while listening to Michelle talk about her daughters.

“And of course, my husband is the fucking best. Seriously, I could not do it without him. He’s the cool dad. Like, when the girls don’t want to talk to me they’ll go complain to him and he’ll try to explain it all to them, that I probably wasn’t trying to be a bitch. I’ll go to them, I’ll apologize, and we’ll move on. The same thing with my husband. It’s not worth it to linger on petty little fights, it’s not, because what’s the point? You’re mad at me, I’m mad at you, then we never talk about it? I hate that shit.” Gigi desperately tried not to look at Crystal, heart in her throat. “It’s a waste of time ladies, don’t stay mad at the people who matter the most. Especially when you’re supposed to be raising two teenagers with that person,” Michelle laughed. Gigi looked over at Crystal against her better judgment. Gigi had never wanted kids, ever. Mostly because she wasn't sure if she would ever find the right person to have kids with. But as Gigi watched Crystal gently blend Michelle’s makeup, being as careful as possible to not get it in her eyes, it didn’t seem like the craziest idea. Gigi added that to the list of things NOT to tell Hunter when she called him tomorrow. She focused back on doing Michelle’s makeup, which didn’t look all too bad, mostly because Gigi was drunk.

“Gigi, what the fuck are you doing to Michelle’s face?” Jaida asked. Gigi hadn’t realized, but she heavily contoured Michelle using an orange eyeshadow. Her eyes were orange, her cheeks were orange, her lips were orange- Michelle was basically completely orange.

“I-Uhm- I did the Crystal Methyd... Method, if you will and tried to be a little more abstract,” Gigi tried to defend the monstrosity that was Michelle’s makeup.

“She looks like Donald Trump!” Crystal giggled.

“Am I really drunk or does Crystal’s side actually look good?”

“Oh Jaida, I have done my makeup drunk so many times, it’s easy,” Crystal said.

“Okay, well, can y’all be done? I’m getting tired of dancing alone, this houseplant can only make me feel so much,” Jaida said. And so they all got up and danced with Jaida, sans music. And when Crystal wrapped her arms around Gigi’s neck, and Gigi held Crystal by the waist, swaying side to side, she couldn’t fight back her smile.

“What?” Crystal asked, a smile also growing on her face.

“Nothing, c’mere,” Gigi whispered, her hand finding its way into Crystal’s curls. Her phone buzzed. Hunter.

“Tell Hunter to shut up,” Crystal chuckled. So Gigi put her phone in the empty coffee pot, not sure what else to do. She returned to Crystal’s side after a moment, who was looking out Jaida’s window at the shining street below them. And Gigi knew better than to reach out and grab Crystal’s hand, but she did. And a certain line was crossed. A line Gigi was desperately trying to avoid crossing. A line that Gigi had blurred before, a line that maybe had always been blurred. There was no coming back from this, there never was, was there? Crystal squeezed Gigi’s hand.

“I don’t know if I can walk up all those stairs,” Crystal whispered.

“If...if we crawl into Jaida’s bed... maybe she’ll go crawl into ours,” Gigi suggested.

“Gigi Goode. You’re a genius.” And so they tiptoed across the living room, as if Jaida wasn’t only a few feet away, and crawled into her bed. Gigi pulled the covers over their heads, hoping Crystal couldn’t see her blushing. “Goodnight,” she murmured.

“Goodnight,” Gigi said, but neither of them made any move to go to sleep just yet.

“Gigi?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember your first night in New York? With Jan and Jackie?” Crystal asked. Gigi tried to make out her expression in the darkness.

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember,” Gigi whispered.

“Yeah, me too. I miss it.” Crystal rolled over, leaving Gigi with nothing yet everything to say. Gigi sat there for a moment, not sure if she had struck a nerve, or hurt Crystal in some way.  But then Crystal grabbed Gigi’s arm, lacing it around her waist, lines blurred.

February 2020

New York City

Hunter had suggested that Gigi fly into New York later at night.

“Why?” Rosy asked.

“Because if you fly in later, you won’t have to see Crystal-” Hunter began to explain.

“Why wouldn’t she want to see Crystal?” Symone chimed in.

“I just think it’s best that you try to see Crystal as little as possible during press week,” Hunter said.

“But... but why?” Rosy asked again. Gigi watched as Hunter grew more and more frustrated.

“Because when Gigi is with Crystal she does dumb shit like kissing her,” Hunter shot Gigi a piercing look. He still hadn’t dropped it. Gigi couldn’t really blame him though, she never did listen to Hunter.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” Rosy butted in. “Please explain to me how that’s a bad thing.”

“Because Crystal has a boyfriend-”

“Okay! I’ll fly in later, it’s fine,” Gigi interrupted, desperately wanting to end the conversation. Besides, there was no reason to start another fight with Hunter after she literally kissed Crystal right in front of him.

And so Gigi arrived at the JFK airport at 10 pm and took an Uber to the hotel. She decided that Hunter was right. It was better that Gigi tried to avoid Crystal as much as possible this week, because every time she saw Crystal in person, it just made her miss her more when they inevitably had to go home.

This was for the best. This was for the best. This was for the -

“Gigiiiiiiii.”

What was that?

“Gigiiiiiiii,” A faint voice called from down the hall. Gigi heard the sound of footsteps running down the hallway.

“Crystal! Slow down!” Another voice called.

Then Gigi heard an all too familiar knock, and her heart was in her throat. And though Gigi knew Hunter would be pissed, she grinned as she ran to the door. She opened the door and there Crystal stood, eyes glossy, cheeks flushed. She was obviously drunk.

“Gigi!” Crystal jumped into Gigi’s arms, Gigi could smell the alcohol on her.

“Hi!” Gigi laughed, holding Crystal close.

“Hello! God, I missed you.”

How many times have they said that to each other now? Countless times over the phone in the dead of night, at the airport, in Vegas.

“I missed you too.”

“Crystal? CRYSTAL?!” Gigi heard someone calling. Moments later, Jan walked by.

“She’s in here, Jan!” Gigi called. Jan entered the room, her frustrated expression immediately disappearing when she saw Crystal and Gigi in their embrace.

“I turned around for one minute and she was asking the front desk what your room number was– She also had three Margaritas,” Jan said, walking into the room. Crystal finally released Gigi from her hug, and Gigi didn’t want to admit how cold she felt. Luckily, Crystal held onto Gigi’s arm, resting her head on her shoulder. “Well! It’s your first night in New York, we oughta do something,” Jan said, plopping down on one of the chairs in the hotel room.

“I could do your makeup!” Crystal giggled. And Gigi felt as all the walls she spent the past three weeks building up crumbled to the floor yet again.

“Oh my god! Jackie was coming to meet us here anyway. She got this god-awful wig yesterday, I’ll have her bring it!” Jan squealed, already whipping out her phone to text Jackie. Okay. This was happening. And Gigi couldn’t be mad about it.

“Fuck it,” she said. Crystal cheered.

“Okay! I’ll go get my stuff!” Crystal ran to the conjoined door in Gigi’s room.

“Is your room next to mine?” Gigi asked.

“Of course, where else would it be?” Crystal giggled. Gigi let out an exasperated laugh. Of course. Moments later, Crystal returned with all her makeup. All. Her. Makeup.

“Jackie is on her way!” Jan announced. Crystal sat Gigi down on the bed, they sat facing each other, legs crossed. Gigi felt her heart pounding as Crystal held Gigi’s face in her hands, smearing on the foundation. Sometimes, Gigi would catch Crystal’s eye as she was blending out her foundation, and Crystal would fight back a smile. Gigi was sober, but she felt light headed. Crystal’s hands gently tilted Gigi’s face in a thousand different directions, before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked.

“I can’t get the right angle...” Crystal whined.

“Have her lay down,” Jan tried to offer casually, but Gigi could hear the mischief in her voice.

“Smart! Gigi lay down,” Crystal said. Without thinking, Gigi laid back on the bed. This was fine. Gigi was fine. Crystal Methyd was just inches away from Gigi’s face, leaning over her as she laid in bed. Crystal was still clearly frustrated. “One second, I’m not messing up this eyeliner.” Without any warning, Crystal kneeled on the bed before throwing a leg over Gigi’s torso, straddling her. She lost her balance in the process, so Gigi grabbed the side of her legs to steady her.

“Thanks,” Crystal blushed. Gigi couldn’t find the power to rip her hands away. God, was it only three weeks ago when they kissed on the party bus? Why did it feel so long ago? And why did Crystal keep smiling at Gigi like that? Gigi’s heart was in her throat as she held her breath. She had seen Crystal up close before, of course, but this was so different. Crystal made this funny face when she focused. Her eyes squinting, her lips pressed together tightly, brow furrowed. Gigi found herself grinning without even realizing it.

“What?” Crystal asked, a smile tugging at her lips. Gigi started giggling.

“You make a face when you’re focused, it’s cute,” Gigi admitted, chest burning. She ignored Jan’s gasp from across the room. Gigi had forgotten Jan was even there, sorry Jan.

Crystal sat up straight, placing a hand on Gigi’s chest. Dear God, please let her heart stop pounding.

“Well, you’re making a face too,” Crystal said, leaning in close to Gigi's lips.

“Oh really?” Gigi cocked an eyebrow, “what face am I making?”

“I... I don’t know how to describe it...” Crystal whispered. She was too close.

“Your eyes are shining,” Jan called. Thankfully, someone knocked on the door. Jan ran to let Jackie in.

“Jesus Christ, what did I miss?” Jackie said, seeing Crystal straddling Gigi.

“A lot,” they all responded. Crystal finished up Gigi’s makeup quickly but hesitated before climbing off.

“I have this stunning wig for you!” Jackie waved around the gigantic red wig she had brought. “Okay, done!” she said after pinning the wig. Crystal clasped her hands over Gigi’s eyes and walked her to the mirror. When Gigi saw herself in the mirror, she immediately burst out laughing. Of course, Crystal had painted her like a clown.

“Now we’re both clown queens!!!” Crystal giggled, leaning on Gigi’s shoulder. Gigi’s chest burned, and she saw Jan and Jackie whispering to each other out of the corner of her eye. “Smile Gigi!” Crystal said, snapping a picture and posting it. The four of them ended up spending the night on Gigi’s bed, laughing until 2 am. Crystal fell asleep on top of Gigi, and Jackie and Jan took that as their queue to leave. Gigi didn’t bother to wake Crystal up, just tucking her in under the covers and laying down with her. Gigi’s phone buzzed 3 times.

Hunter : I don’t even know what to say.

Rosy : HAHAHAHAH FUCK HUNTER YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE

Symone : Rosy and Hunter are fighting again. Please come home soon.

Gigi just turned off her phone and tried to sync her breathing with Crystals, wondering where the sun would find them in the morning.

Amsterdam

It was the sun cutting through Jaida’s window that ultimately woke Gigi up. She was instantly greeted with a splitting headache. What happened last night? Why was she in Jaida’s bed? Why was Crystal wrapped in her arms? Gigi saw the empty bottle of Dutch gin on the floor next to the bed. Oh. So that’s what happened last night.

Memories of the night before came flooding back. Jaida and Crystal dancing around the apartment, Crystal and Gigi doing Michelle’s makeup- god, where was Michelle? She probably went to her apartment. It was easier to walk across the hall than up another flight of stairs.

Gigi reluctantly unwrapped her arms from around Crystal and tried to ignore the sudden chills running over her body. It didn’t take long for Gigi to locate her phone which was left in an empty coffee pot. She had a few texts from Hunter but ignored them. He probably wasn’t awake anyway. Gigi desperately searched Jaida’s drawers for anything that could get rid of her awful headache.

“Who needs this many gummy vitamins?” she whispered to herself, pushing bottles to the side. Nothing.

“Gigi...” a groggy voice called. Gigi turned around to see Crystal stretching her arms out towards her. And for a moment, Gigi’s hangover disappeared. She walked back to the bed, sitting down next to Crystal. Crystal wrapped her arms around Gigi, burying her face in Gigi’s neck. And Gigi’s heart dropped, when was the last time she had done that? “Why is it so bright in here?” Crystal murmured into Gigi’s neck.

“Because we’re really hungover,” Gigi chuckled.

“Oh...oh yeah. We are, aren’t we? My head hurts,” Crystal whined. Gigi’s hand found its way into Crystal’s curls.

“I couldn’t find any ibuprofen, and I don’t know if it’s safe to drink the tap water here-”

“The drinking water in Amsterdam is like a delicacy,” Crystal told Gigi.

“How do you know that?”

“I obviously did research before I came here.”

“But you didn’t know that weed was legal?”

“I thought it was illegal in Europe...”

“Holy shit. And you didn’t sneak any-”

“I thought I could do a tolerance break or something. Shut up,” Crystal giggled. Gigi’s hand was still in her hair. Crystal’s arms were still wrapped around Gigi. And in the deep depths of Gigi’s brain, she wished they could just sit like this forever. And then Crystal was looking up at Gigi, a soft smile on her face, and Gigi couldn’t rip her eyes away. “How do you look so pretty hungover?” Crystal asked. Gigi’s heart dropped. She was just hungover, maybe she was even still a little drunk, but Gigi’s face was burning.

“Help...” a voice called.

“Shit. I forgot about Jaida,” Gigi said, immediately standing up. Thank god for Jaida.

“I’m in the bathroom!” Jaida groaned. Gigi and Crystal walked in to find Jaida laying in her bathtub. “I... I think I wanted to go swimming last night but fell asleep trying to turn on the faucet.” Gigi and Crystal both laughed despite their headaches.

“Scoot over,” Gigi said. Jaida made room for Gigi and Crystal to join her in the bathtub. Gigi couldn’t help but blush as she tangled her legs with Crystal’s. Jaida and Crystal both rested their heads on Gigi’s shoulders.

“I’m never drinking again,” Jaida whispered. Gigi scoffed.

“That’s what we said last weekend.” And they all burst out laughing, the cool tile against their backs making the hangover a little more tolerable. Gigi knew in a few minutes she would have to get up and start her day. Gigi and Crystal would have to crawl their way up to their apartments, and it would suck. Gigi would have to call Hunter and lie when he asks if she had been hanging out with Crystal. And Gigi would feel guilty, but not that guilty.

In a few minutes, they would have to get up and start their day, but for now, Gigi just sat sandwiched between Jaida and Crystal, and it was enough. The sound of the door opening snapped them all out of their trance.

“Jaida? Are you dead?” Michelle called.

“We’re in here!” Crystal said. Michelle entered the bathroom, also looking like a complete mess.

“I’m too old to sit in a fuckin tub” Michelle muttered, sitting on the toilet seat again. “We’re never drinking again,” she whispered, and Gigi, Jaida, and Crystal all started laughing.

“Stop making me laugh! It makes my head hurt worse...” Crystal laughed.

“God, Jaida, why did you even have us come to Amsterdam anyway?” Gigi joked.

“It wasn’t even her idea,” Michelle laughed.

“What?”

“Yeah, it was Widow’s idea actually,” Jaida admitted. Gigi’s jaw dropped. Of course.

New York City

The crowd erupted in cheers after Crystal finished performing “Womanizer” by Britney Spears. Gigi was sitting with Widow, who just so happened to bring her dab pen. Needless to say, Gigi was just a little bit fucked up. She and Widow had just returned to their seats after running up to the stage to give Crystal tips, and Gigi couldn’t stop smiling, and Widow could see right through her.

Granted, it wasn’t hard. Gigi could only imagine what she looked like. Starstruck. Crystal had completely entranced her yet again, and it was getting harder and harder to try to cover it up. Crystal ran back to Gigi and Widow, grinning.

“How’d I do?” She asked, trying to catch her breath.

“Absolutely amazing,” Widow said.

“You were fucking radiant, Crystal Elizabeth Methyd,” Gigi giggled, she could feel Widow watching her like she was trying to understand Gigi.

“I know! I just wanted to hear it from you guys,” Crystal said, and then “I’m gonna go to the bathroom to get out of drag, I’ll be right back!”

“Do you need help?” Gigi asked, already standing up, knees wobbling a bit. Shit, maybe Gigi was higher than she thought.

“Not so fast Miss Goode, I want to chat with you a bit,” Widow said, helping Gigi down into her seat. Widow was also crossed, she had bought her and Gigi both a few drinks along with sharing her dab pen. Widow was basically the best.

“Oh-okay,” Crystal said before skipping off to the bathroom. Gigi turned to Widow.

“What did you want to talk about?” she asked, stirring her drink.

“Listen, you’re not fuckin subtle. We all see how you look at Crystal. It’s cute. Jan, Jackie, and Jaida eat that shit up,” Widow started.

“I don’t-”

“Gigi. Don’t even try...” Widow trailed off.

“It’s just a crush,” Gigi whispered, but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Widow. “Besides, she has Paul, so it’s kind of hopeless,” she added. Widow shifted and opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, then closed it. Gigi turned to her, pleading for her to say something, anything.

“Look-” Widow began. “Crystal has been a friend to me for many years, I’d like to say I know her pretty well. And... and I’ve met Paul, and he’s a great fucking guy. He’s funny, he’s kind, he treats Crystal well-”

“Yes, this is comforting,” Gigi deadpanned.

“Let me fucking finish,” Widow laughed. “Because Paul... Paul is just Paul. But Gigi, you are just you. ..”

“And Crystal is just... Crystal ,” Gigi breathed, words slurring. Widow nodded slowly.

“There’s something that lights up in her when she talks about you. Believe me, I sat next to that bitch on the plane, she talked more about you during that plane ride than I’ve ever heard her talk about PAUL,” Widow just shook her head while studying Gigi. “I don’t think she even knows it yet, Gigi. I don’t. But she will. She’s going to watch the show back and she’s going to realize it, believe me.” Gigi’s entire body was buzzing, she couldn’t even hear all the thoughts running through her head, the only thing she could make out was Widow’s words

But she will. But she will. But she will.

Just then, Crystal came back from the bathroom.

“Okay, so Gigi I just had the craziest idea. I checked Google maps and it’s only like a thirty minute walk to the Empire State Building!” Crystal said, grabbing Widow’s dab pen and taking a hit.

“Didn’t we literally just go there for press?” Widow asked, raising an eyebrow. Crystal just rolled her eyes, playfully glaring at Widow.

“Yeah...but it’s nighttime. And the city is like...brighter at night... and-”

“Okay, you don’t really have to defend yourself. Have fun ladies,” Widow shot Gigi a subtle wink. “You hold onto that dab pen. Be careful with it though, it’s Sativa.”

“You’re the fucking best! Is that a shot? I’m taking it,” Crystal said, downing a shot Widow had just ordered. “Here!” Crystal reached in her pocket and gave Widow some loose $1 bills. She grabbed Gigi’s hand and practically pulled her out of the bar. They were instantly greeted by the stinging cold. “It’s fine! Just a little chilly!” Crystal said, hugging herself.

“Yeah, we-we will warm up once we start walking,” Gigi said, instantly regretting leaving her jacket at the hotel. Gigi felt bad for Crystal who only had her thin-ass pink bomber jacket. They began their walk to the Empire State Building, passing Widow’s pen back and forth, hoping to breathe some warmth into them. But it only made things worse, because the higher they got, the slower they walked, and the longer they walked the colder they got. Gigi’s teeth were chattering, so were Crystal’s. They tried to have conversations, just to keep their lips warm, but nothing was helping.

“G-g-Google maps says we’re halfway there...” Crystal shivered, stopping to check her phone.

“It’s... it’s 1:30, we left the bar at one... we’ve been walking for half an hour, and we’re only halfway there,” Gigi whispered. “That means we have another half an hour to go,” Crystal just whimpered and put her head in the crook of Gigi’s neck. It was freezing, so why was Crystal’s face burning?

“I don’t think I can make it, Gigi. Can we... Can we just go back to the hotel? We can order room service or something... it’s so fucking cold,” Crystal giggled. Gigi just laughed. “What?” Crystal muttered, Gigi felt her smiling into her neck. She suddenly wasn’t as cold.

“I was really worried you were gonna make me walk all the way,” Gigi admitted. Crystal playfully nudged her, taking out her phone.

“Okay... so there’s a train station a few minutes away... and if we take the... yellow one... uptown? There’s a stop that’s right next to our hotel. Okay.” Gigi should’ve known better than to trust Crystal with directions, but she was so cold she didn’t even think to question it. They found the subway station pretty easily, and it only took them ten minutes to figure out how to buy tickets. Finally, they found themselves waiting on the platform, hands shoved deep into their pockets. “I’m sorry,” Crystal said. Gigi turned to look at Crystal, who was looking at her feet.

“Why?” Gigi asked.

“This was supposed to be a fun night... we were supposed to see all the lights and... it was supposed to be a fun night.”

If only Crystal knew. If only she knew that all the lights in the city couldn’t match the way she shone. That Gigi wouldn’t be able to rip her eyes off of Crystal for even one second if they did make it to the Empire State Building. That Gigi would much rather look at Crystal than a stupid skyline any day. If only she knew.

“Hey,” Gigi said instead, grabbing Crystal’s hand. “It was a fun night, any night with you is fun.” God, that was cheesy. Gigi realized it as soon as it left her mouth. But Crystal was grinning, and Gigi grinned right back.

The platform was pretty much empty, only a few other stragglers like Gigi and Crystal stood waiting for the subway. Suddenly, the platform started buzzing as the sound of the train slowly grew closer and closer before halting in front of them.

Crystal and Gigi were instantly greeted with a comfortable warmth that wrapped them both up. Their subway cart was empty, and Crystal refused to sit down. She tried to keep her balance, gripping onto the poles to steady herself. Crystal's eyes were red and squinted, her glasses were barely staying on her face, and her curls were wild from the wind, and she was a sight to behold. Gigi felt as her heart did somersaults.

But she will. But she will. But she will...

The subway jolted forward, and Crystal nearly fell. And for some reason, that looked really fun to Gigi. So Gigi stood up, and also nearly fell. They both erupted into giggles, and soon they were holding onto each other for support along with the poles. And then they were dancing? Or at least trying to dance despite constantly trying to trip over themselves, and Gigi didn’t even realize every time the subway stopped. When the occasional person entered their train cart, they both held back their laughter, shooting each other mischievous looks. Their faces were close, and they were both just grinning at each other as if they should’ve known better.

“Next stop, Coney Island,” the intercom said. Now, Gigi didn’t know much about New York, but she was pretty positive Coney Island was in Brooklyn.

“Umm Crystal, give me your phone,” Gigi said. Crystal, who hadn’t connected the dots, lazily handed Gigi her phone, circling the pole. Gigi checked Google Maps, they were heading in the opposite direction of the hotel. She looked at the map in their subway cart, praying that she was wrong. Of course, she wasn't.

“Crystal... Crystal I think we took the wrong train,” Gigi muttered.

“No...no we are heading uptown,” Crystal defended.

“Yeah... no. We are heading downtown. Like, way downtown. Crystal, we're in Brooklyn... that’s basically a different state. We’re going in the opposite direction of the hotel,” Gigi explained slowly. Crystal buried her face in her hands.

“Oh god, what do we do?” Fuck. Crystal was crying. But of course she was, she was crossed and she was... well, she was Crystal. Gigi grabbed Crystal’s hands.

“We’re just going to have to get off at Coney Island, and then we will... I don’t know we’ll figure it out.” And so they got off at Coney Island, and Crystal stopped crying, but she didn’t drop Gigi’s hand. Not even when they were greeted by the nipping cold.

“Wow,” Crystal exhaled, looking out on Coney Island. It was a ghost town. Absolutely nobody was there, which made sense considering it was almost March. The orange streetlights aluminized the streets, allowing only enough light to see. They crossed the street together hesitantly, not exactly sure where they were even heading. They just needed to move, they needed their blood to get pumping. Crystal was shivering, it had somehow gotten colder than before. The only fixture they could see clearly was the Wonder Wheel, so they just started walking towards that. They found a bench and tried to ignore the cold as Crystal tried to figure out what subway they had to get on.

“I’m not a big city girl, I don’t know what I’m doing,” Crystal giggled, desperately trying to shed light on their shitty situation. But Gigi wasn’t even annoyed, because she worshipped these stupid little inconveniences with Crystal.

“Let’s just get an Uber,” Gigi shivered. Crystal cupped Gigi’s hands in her own.

“C’mere,” she whispered, breathing hot air onto Gigi’s hands, then rubbing them together. It was such a random gesture, and Gigi wasn’t sure if Crystal was aware she was even doing it, but Gigi melted.

Crystal rested her head on Gigi’s shoulder as Gigi found an Uber who would be there in a few moments, and Gigi wrapped her arms around Crystal when she started to shiver.

“Hey,” Crystal whispered, burying her head in Gigi’s neck. Gigi hummed in response, eyes feeling heavy. “Nothing tonight went to plan,” Crystal giggled, wrapping her arms around Gigi’s torso.

“No... no it didn’t,” Gigi chuckled.

“But I don’t think it matters all that much,” Crystal yawned. Gigi took out Widow’s dab pen and held it out to Crystal, who accepted it, beaming up at Gigi. And there they sat miles away from their hotel, under the Wonder Wheel at Coney Island, holding onto each other for warmth. And though the bitter air was freezing, Gigi had never felt warmer as the words echoed through her head.

‘But she will. But she will. But she will’

Amsterdam

“You will never guess what I just FINESSED for us,” Crystal sang, walking out onto the balcony, holding something behind her back. She had mysteriously left fifteen minutes ago, claiming she had ‘business’ to attend to.

“What?” Gigi asked, slightly scared. Crystal just mischievously smiled at her, leaning against the balcony. “What?!” Gigi laughed, leaning forward in her seat. She watched as Crystal slowly revealed what she was hiding. Jaida’s car keys. “No FUCKING WAY!” Gigi jumped up, crossing to Crystal.

“YES FUCKING WAY!” Crystal exclaimed, and they both began to cheer, Crystal laughing as Gigi let out a loud whoop. She had missed their drives. “But you have to drive. Jaida said I’m not allowed to,” Crystal added, and Gigi burst out laughing.

“Yeah, I think that’s for the best,” she muttered, and they both dissolved into giggles.

“Let’s go!” Crystal tugged on Gigi’s arm, leading her to her apartment. She immediately started running around the room, trying to collect supplies as Gigi tried not to laugh. “Okay so I have some snacks and drinks we can bring- I hate that everywhere closes so early. And I’m bringing my blanket. Because I want to. Oh and I forgot to tell you! Michelle and I went to this vape shop and we bought a dab pen together!” Crystal tossed Gigi the dab pen, but Gigi refrained from hitting it. She cannot drive high.

“Aww it’s cute. Did you name it?” Gigi asked. She grabbed one of Crystal’s totes and started putting the snacks and drinks in. Crystal was still walking around, opening every drawer and cabinet in her apartment as she found everything they might need.

“Well. I wanted to name it fracking. But I don’t think Michelle liked that, so we decided on Madonna. Well- Michelle decided on Madonna,” Crystal answered, grinning at Gigi. And they both burst out laughing, again. The thing about Crystal Methyd is that her joy is contagious. Gigi could revel in it all day, if the universe would let her.

“Alright, do we have everything?” Gigi looked across the room. She had a tote filled with snacks and bottles of water slung over her shoulder. Crystal had another tote with phone chargers, Madonna, a flashlight, and towels? And of course, her huge white fluffy comforter was balled up in her arms.

“Yup. LET’S GO!” Crystal let out a whoop and yanked the door open. They both flew down the narrow steep stairs, feet pounding. Gigi could’ve sworn she heard Jaida yelling “What in the fuck?!” As they passed her door. And then Gigi was in the driver's seat, watching Crystal shove her blanket in the backseat, getting into the car after. “Alright. Are you ready?” Crystal asked, and they both couldn’t stop smiling.

“I’m ready. Where are we going though? Like- can you get directions?” Gigi watched Crystal take out her phone, opening Google Maps.

“Okay... so I know I can’t be trusted with directions, but this doesn’t look too bad. It’s like... one road?” Crystal trailed off.

“I’m trusting you Miss Methyd,” Gigi gave her a warning look. Crystal just laughed, and started the directions.

“Don’t listen to me, listen to Siri,” she told Gigi. And so they started to drive through Amsterdam, towards their destination.

“Where are we even going?” Gigi asked, getting on the highway.

“Miss Gigi Goode, we are GOING TO THE BEACH!” Crystal cheered, and immediately started blasting “ Starships ” by Nicki Minaj. Gigi let out a groan but had to laugh.

“You’re giving me FLASHBACKS!” She yelled, but of course couldn’t hold back from scream-singing along with Crystal. A part of Gigi wished they were driving during the day. She knew the route was taking them through smaller cities in the Netherlands she still wanted to see, like Haarlem. When Gigi voiced this to Crystal, she just looked at her, confused.

“Harlem? Like New York City?” Crystal asked. Love Story (Taylor’s Version) was playing lightly through the car speakers.

“Haarlem like the Netherlands. There’s... there are other places named Harlem,” Gigi chuckled, and Crystal just shook her head, hitting her dab pen.

“Alright don’t act all smart with me, Miss College dropout,” she muttered under her breath. Gigi gasped, turning to look at Crystal in mock horror.

“Crystal you bitch!” Gigi cried, smacking her in the arm. Crystal just giggled, and Gigi knew that stupid high giggle. Suddenly, “ Sedona ” by Houndmouth started playing, and they both perked up in their seats. “Turn it up TURN IT UP!!” Gigi exclaimed, and Crystal leaned forward, cranking the volume all the way up. Gigi rolled down the windows, and the cool summer breeze wrapped around them, whipping through the car. Gigi could feel the bass of the music pounding in her body. And there was Crystal next to her, hair flying in ten different directions, screaming along to Sedona, a wide grin on her face. And Gigi’s chest burned.

After about 45 minutes of driving, Gigi could smell the ocean. She followed Siri’s directions, pulling into the beach’s parking lot. The whole place was completely empty, not a person in sight. Probably since it was 2 AM on a Monday night.

Once Gigi was parked, she and Crystal immediately jumped out of the car.  “GIVE ME MADONNA!” Gigi said as they ran towards the beach together. She took a long hit, exhaling into the night air. Crystal was ripping off her shoes, and before Gigi could think to stop her, she was in the water, up to her knees. At least she was wearing shorts.

“GIGI COME ON!!” Crystal was jumping up and down, holding out her arms for Gigi to join her. And as she jumped in midair, a wave came crashing down, knocking her into the water. Gigi gasped watching Crystal go under, but as she rose out of the water, mullet soaked covering her face, clothes clinging to her body, all Gigi could do was cackle, doubled over in the sand. “I HATE MY LIFE!” Crystal screamed, crawling towards Gigi. “GIGI I HATE MY LIFE!” Gigi couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying or both. All she knew was that she’d never let Crystal live this down. “Why is the water so cold? It’s summer,” Crystal’s teeth were chattering, her whole body shaking.

“Poor baby,” Gigi cooed, helping Crystal up on her feet.

“Why is the water so cold?” Crystal whimpered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Awww. Do you want some cheese?” Gigi pretended to be concerned, combing her fingers through Crystal’s mullet, trying to put it back into place.

“I’m lactose intolerant you know that,” Crystal pouted, and Gigi was fighting so hard not to laugh.

“You want some cheese with that WHINE?” Gigi exclaimed, and then Crystal was chasing her around the beach, shouting obscenities. This didn’t last long of course, they’re not very big runners. So eventually they went back to the car and carried all their supplies back to the beach.

For an hour, Crystal and Gigi laid out on the sand in the dark night air together, just talking about literally anything. Gigi talked about how much she missed Hunter, Marko, Symone, Rosy, and everyone back home. How they had helped Gigi pack for Amsterdam at the last minute, all so excited.

“Amsterdam is my fresh start. That’s what we would call it. Symone promised I would come back as a changed human,” Gigi muttered. Crystal turned on her side, facing her.

“Do you think you’ve changed? Has Amsterdam... been good for you?” Her voice was so small, and fuck Gigi was in too deep. Again.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I feel like... there’s just something in the air here. It makes it easier to breathe. I don’t know,” Gigi was laying on her back, gazing up at the stars.

“Yeah,” Crystal nodded in agreement, still facing Gigi. “I know what you mean. But a part of me feels like... maybe it’s not being in Amsterdam. That makes it easier to breathe. That makes everything better. I think it’s... I don’t know,” she trailed off, but Gigi knew exactly what she meant. She heard it loud and clear. And it terrified her.

“We should probably go,” Gigi whispered, and she was mortified to feel tears welling in her eyes.

“Gigi...” Crystal looked at her, searching. But Gigi ignored her, jumping up and brushing the sand off her body.

“Cmon,” Gigi smiled, hoping Crystal would see that Gigi was fine.

Gigi was fine. Gigi was fine. Gigi was fine.

They silently made their way back to the car. Gigi watched as Crystal put the towel down on her seat, then climbed into the passenger seat, wrapped in her blanket like a burrito. Gigi snorted, and Crystal just playfully glared at her.

“Turn on the heat,” she smiled lightly. Gigi rolled her eyes, utterly failing to hold back a smile as she turned the knob to blast the heat. Then, “ Summer Love ” by the hit world famous iconic legendary boyband One Direction flowed softly out of the speakers, and Gigi hated that her chest used to ache when she would listen to the song and think about Crystal. And how it still did.

Crystal wasn’t looking at Gigi though. She had leaned her head against the window, looking up into the night sky. Gigi glanced up through the sunroof, letting out a soft breath as she saw the stars shining bright. And then her eyes fell back to Crystal, and she was still gazing at the stars, and Gigi felt something rumbling deep in her chest. She couldn’t fight back the soft smile on her face, looking at Crystal fondly. Her eyes turned to meet Gigi’s, and she easily returned the smile. And then Gigi remembered she was driving and looked back on the road.

“What are you thinking about?” Crystal murmured, watching her. And Gigi thought, eyes still trained on the road.

Gigi figured for all the drives she’d gone on with Crystal, all the times they’d sat out on the balcony together until sunrise, Gigi had come to know the night sky by heart. Gigi knew every star, every constellation. She knew Crystal’s soft smile, gazing up at the sky. And sometimes Crystal’s head would turn, and she would look at Gigi, constellations in her eyes. And Gigi swore that the sun and the moon and all the night skies they had seen together, all of the sunrises, the sunsets driving through the mountains, were nothing compared to Crystal Methyd. But she couldn’t know that.

“Nothing,” Gigi responded. “What are you thinking about?”

“I... kinda wanna go to London?” Crystal said sheepishly. Gigi just turned to look at her, wondering what the hell is she up to?

“Like... right... now?” Gigi asked. Crystal let out a laugh, shaking her head.

“No! Like... this weekend? Just Saturday and Sunday. Jaida said we get one weekend off of our choosing. And we can’t use it too close to Pride because we’re gonna be busy,” Crystal explained, and Gigi’s chest was on fire.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.  

“Um... sure,” Gigi shrugged her shoulders. “Let’s do it. We always have fun in the city, don’t we Miss Methyd?” Gigi gave her a sly grin. And maybe she was testing the waters, seeing how far she could go. Just out of curiosity. But maybe Crystal was testing the waters too, because she responded with a wink,

“Oh yes we do. Believe me, I remember.”

New York City

“What if he’s weird?”

“Crystal-”

“I’m just saying, what Uber driver is active at three a.m. in New York City?”

“Elizabeth-”

“What’s his name anyway? Trent? Never trust anyone named Trent-”

“Methyd.”

“Shit, is that him?” Crystal asked. A Buick SUV pulled up then stopped.

“Gigi?” Trent asked, rolling down his window.

“Yup,” Gigi said, pulling open the door to the backseat. She felt Crystal hovering over her shoulder. “It’s fine, Crys.” They both slid into the back of the car, shoulders pressed together.

“Where to?” Trent asked.

“Dream Midtown Hotel, in Uptown Manhattan. Wherever that… is...” Gigi trailed off. Trent nodded before driving off. Thankfully, he didn’t ask any questions on how exactly they ended up at Coney Island. And thankfully Trent showed up when he did because after about five minutes of driving it began to pour. While driving, Trent picked up a phone call, suddenly oblivious to Crystal and Gigi. The wails of sirens harmonized with a blaring car horn. Gigi leaned into Crystal.

“I hate New York,” she said. Crystal, who was staring out the window, whipped around to face Gigi.

“Really?” Crystal asked softly. Gigi nodded. Crystal turned back to the window, propping her head upon her hand. “Must be because you live in a big city. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many lights before.”

Gigi hated New York. She did. But she loved the way the city reflected in Crystal’s eyes. Flashes of blue, red, orange, purple, green, and white flickered throughout the car. And though being driven through the city at 3 am by a sketchy man was the last thing Gigi wanted to do, Crystal made it worth it. Because Crystal made everything worth it.

“Where do you like? If not New York?” Crystal whispered, looking tired. Gigi smiled.

“Well, L.A. obviously. But Chicago.” Crystal was silent, eyes pleading for Gigi to say more. “Uhm, my friends and I on the weekends would make up these elaborate lies to tell our parents and then take the bus or train into Chicago. We were all sixteen, and there was this one drag bar that allowed us to go in and we would just spend the night watching these queens perform and...” Gigi realized Crystal was staring at her, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. “And it’s so dumb to say now... but I just fucking fell in love with Chicago,” Gigi finished.

“That’s where we’ll go next,” Crystal said simply.

“What?”

“Next time we see each other after New York, we’ll go to Chicago. I’m dying to meet Krysti anyway,” Crystal laughed. Gigi beamed.

“Seriously?” she chuckled. Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

“Of course.” Gigi realized how close they had gotten, their noses practically touching. Trent turned up the radio. “ New York ” by St. Vincent flowed softly through the car.

“New York isn’t New York without you love,”

Crystal hadn’t let go of her hand. She inhaled quickly as if she were about to say something, but stopped. Gigi watched as the gears in Crystal’s mind began to shift.

“Is-” Crystal started, “is it bad I’m happy Paul isn’t here?” she confessed, and then “I don’t think I could see you both in the same room, it just wouldn’t make sense to me.” Gigi’s heart skipped a beat, not sure if this was Crystal begging her to read in between the lines or if this was Gigi’s wishful thinking. Either way, she ran her thumb across Crystal’s hand.  

“Is it bad I’m also happy Paul isn’t here?” Gigi didn’t mean for it to sound like she was telling a secret, but it did. Crystal’s eyes flickered down to Gigi’s lips, only for a second, but it was enough to send chills down Gigi’s body. She mirrored Crystal, her heart pounding in sync with the sound of rain falling on the metal roof of the car. It was Crystal who finally closed the space between them. It was barely a kiss, their lips catching each other for just a moment. But god, it was electric. Lightning struck.

“Looks like it’s about to be the perfect storm,” Trent said to whoever he was talking to on the phone. Gigi and Crystal both let out awkward chuckles. It was dark, and Gigi could barely even see Crystal but she knew she was smiling, and Gigi hoped Crystal knew that she was smiling too.

The car stopped before either of them had a chance to speak, though Gigi couldn’t even fathom what she could possibly say to Crystal. They both just got out of the car, thanking Trent quickly. When they got in the elevator, Crystal pressed the button for floor six instead of their floor, floor eight. Gigi cleared her throat.

“Floor six?” Gigi asked.

“Thought I’d just say goodnight to Widow before I head to bed,” Crystal said, a hint of panic in her voice.

“Do you want to talk about- uhh-like- what just happened?” Gigi asked.

“It was just a kiss,” Crystal said, but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Gigi. “Just like on the party bus, right?”

“You kissed me” is what Gigi wanted to say. “You kissed me and you’re saying it was a joke, that it meant nothing, but I can’t believe you, I can’t bear to try. I saw the glimmer in your eye, the slight upturn of the corner of your mouth as we slowly filled the space between us. I felt your heart beating. I felt you.”  

“Yeah,” Gigi said instead. “Just like on the party bus.”

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Crystal whispered as the doors opened on floor six.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, goodnight.”

“Night.” Crystal stepped out of the elevator and walked away, not looking back as Gigi desperately pressed the button to make the door closed. Gigi sunk onto the floor of the elevator, bunching her hair in her fists. No matter how hard she tried that night, she couldn’t get her lips to stop buzzing. Just wait until Hunter hears about this one.

Amsterdam

“Okay. Now don’t go around doing your British accents because people will get offended,” Michelle said.

“Or do! The British might be honored!” Jaida quipped.

“No. Your accents are terrible, they will not be honored.”

“I don’t know Michelle... I think our accents are rather good,” Crystal said in her god awful British accent.

“Yeah, I think they’re pretty on the nose,” Gigi agreed in her accent, which was only slightly less worse.

“You guys are gonna get canceled...” Michelle muttered.

“Let the 15 year olds on Twitter cancel you, they can’t even read yet,” Jaida said, and then “well, this is where y’all board!” Crystal and Gigi stood at the entrance of the train that would take them to London. Michelle pulled them both into big hugs.

“Be safe, ladies. Don’t do what I would do.” Gigi and Crystal both laughed.

“Don’t listen to her! Have fun, fuck up some crumpets for me,” Jaida laughed. Gigi looked at Jaida and Michelle, who both were looking at them with puppy dog eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked.

“We’re just gonna miss you,” Michelle said softly.

“And we wake and baked this morning. You know weed makes me all teary eyed,” Jaida sniffled. Crystal and Gigi threw their heads back laughing in unison. Jaida pulled Gigi into a hug. “I’ll never get over it... seeing you two happy, together again,” Jaida whispered.

“Jaida...” Gigi trailed off.

“I know, I know it’s all behind you but... we were scared for a minute.” Gigi gave Jaida a final squeeze.

“We’ll see you guys in a few days!” Gigi said as she and Crystal stepped onto the train.

“Goodbye darlings!” Jaida and Michelle waved them off. Crystal and Gigi silently found their compartment and settled in next to each other.

“This is gonna be the best weekend of our life!” Crystal cheered. “Even better than Drive n’ Drag!” Gigi heard Crystal not say. They booked a train for early in the morning so they’d make it into London by afternoon.

“Are you nervous about the tunnel?” Gigi asked.

“No...” Crystal lied.

“It’ll be fine, I promise,” Gigi said. She grabbed Crystal’s hand without even thinking, like she had just turned on autopilot. And Crystal, also on autopilot, rested her head on Gigi’s shoulder. And it felt like old times. It felt like home.

Just then, they entered the underwater tunnel, so Gigi turned on the playlist. “You okay?” she asked. But Crystal was asleep on Gigi’s shoulder. And all Gigi could do was think about where she was a year before. Preparing looks for Drive N’ Drag, late nights with Rosy and Symone coming up with possible scenarios that could happen, feeling so full of hope. And Gigi ignored the pit in her stomach because she was full of that same, blind hope just now.

New York City

Gigi laid awake all night, replaying the kiss over and over in her head. It was so quick, so soft, barely there. Had she imagined it? No. Because she remembered Crystal’s panicked eyes in the elevator, getting off on Widow’s floor. She remembered Crystal saying “It was just a kiss,” like it meant nothing. But she also remembered seeing Crystal’s face in the Uber, her smile illuminating the city.

Because she kissed Gigi.

But Crystal claimed it meant nothing. It was like the party bus. So what could Gigi do about it?

‘Go home and cry about it to Rosy and Symone.’

That was the only thing she could do. So Gigi forced herself to fall asleep, but even in sleep, she just saw flashes of Crystal on the subway, Crystal at the bar, Crystal getting off the elevator, Crystal in the Uber, Crystal sitting under the Coney Island wheel, Crystal in the Uber, Crystal’s face pressed into Gigi’s neck, burning hot.

 Crystal in the Uber, Crystal in the Uber, Crystal in the Uber.

Crystal kissing Gigi. Crystal kissing Gigi.  

Gigi kissing her back.

Gigi was jolted awake by her alarm, and let out a groan as she realized the van coming to bring the Queens to the airport would be there in an hour, and her room was an absolute mess. She scrambled out of bed, rushing to pack everything up. She didn’t even have a moment to think about Crystal until she was sitting next to her in the back of the van, being driven to the airport.

“Hi,” Crystal gave Gigi a tight smile, not meeting her eyes.

“Hello,” Gigi said casually.  

Please act normal. We’re about to say goodbye for who knows how long. Please act normal.

It seemed that Crystal got the message, because she immediately relaxed, and suddenly it was like nothing had even happened last night. Almost. Because they weren’t pressed up against each other, their foreheads weren’t barely touching, whispering nonsense back and forth. Crystal kept her distance.

It sort of felt like she was already back in Missouri, just out of reach.

But still, they talked with the other queens driving to the airport, and as each minute passed, Gigi became painfully aware of the fact that she didn’t know the next time she’d see Crystal. Of course, they would make plans eventually. Gigi was due to visit Crystal in Springfield, maybe for one of her viewing parties. And of course, Crystal said they would go to Chicago. But when? They would both have such crazy schedules once the show aired. But looking at Crystal laughing at something Widow said, Gigi knew they would be alright. Widow said Gigi just needed to give Crystal time. She could do that. She had waited this long, she could wait a little longer. Crystal was worth it.

The van pulled up to the airport, and Gigi followed everyone out. As the driver unloaded all the suitcases, Gigi turned to face Crystal. She was just looking at Gigi, tears in her eyes.

“Not yet, holy shit,” Gigi laughed, and Crystal had to join, shaking her head.

“Shut up,” she chuckled, punching Gigi’s shoulder lightly. They walked into the airport together, suitcases in trail. Once they made it through security, the queens all hugged each other goodbye. The next time they’d all be together was at the finale in April. Gigi wondered if things would be different with Crystal by the time they’d get to see each other at the finale. Maybe they would actually be together. Or maybe they would still be stuck in this weird limbo, unsure of what they were anymore. Only time would tell.

Gigi’s flight was boarding in fifteen minutes, and Crystal’s was boarding an hour later. So Crystal walked Gigi to her gate, and neither of them were sure what to say to the other.

What do you even say?

“I’ll uh... text you. When my flight lands,” Crystal said awkwardly, looking anywhere but Gigi.

“Okay,” Gigi said lightly. She had to say something. This was the last time they were seeing each other until... well at least until April. But so many things had happened in the three days they’d spent together...

What do you even say?

“Crystal I... I don’t know,” Gigi whispered. Crystal’s eyes met hers, and Gigi could feel her saying a million things. Gigi knew how confused she was, how scared she was. She understood. Crystal needed time. So Gigi did the one thing she knew and pulled Crystal into a tight hug. She didn’t whisper sweet nothings, she didn’t cry, she just held Crystal as tight as possible, for as long as she could. And Crystal held back just as tight, burying her face in Gigi’s neck.

Gigi didn’t know how long they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, oblivious to everyone else. And then her flight was called. “Alright,” She whispered, pulling away from Crystal. “I’ll see you soon,” she tried to smile, but it was a grimace, and fuck now Crystal’s eyes were welling with tears again, and Gigi had to go, but Crystal was standing there, gaping like a fish, trying to find the right words to say.

“Gigi...” she started, but nothing came out.

“I know,” Gigi said firmly. She pulled Crystal into another quick hug. “I will see you soon,” she smiled at Crystal, and Crystal smiled back through her tears.

“I’ll see you soon,” she whispered, and then Gigi was walking to her plane.

In the months to come, Gigi would look back on this moment, playing it over and over in her head. Because in three weeks, the whole world would be on lockdown, in the middle of a raging pandemic. Crystal, Gigi, and everyone else would be stuck at home, told not to travel, not to see their friends and family, to flatten the curve. They wouldn’t see each other at the finale, which instead was held on Zoom. Gigi wouldn’t get to visit Crystal in Springfield, getting to meet her friends and family.

No.

Instead, Gigi would lay in bed at night, wishing she had said something, anything to Crystal. Wishing that the last time they saw each other for who knows how long hadn’t been spent in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Gigi wished she had been braver, that Crystal had known what she wanted. Gigi wished the universe hadn’t decided to come crashing down just when things were maybe finally going to happen with Crystal. But more than anything, Gigi wished she could’ve had just one more night with Crystal in New York. Gigi wished they had more time.

#gigi goode #Crystal Methyd #crystal methyd x gigi goode #crygimethydgoode #crygi #fanfic #fanfic rec #drag queen fanfic #crygi fanfic #rpdr12 #rupauls drag race #RPDR #Lover’s Fantasia #please read this we promise you’ll love it #complete

[aion-rsa]

Val Kilmer Documentary Punctures the Actor’s Bad Boy Myth

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Leo Scott and Ting Poo’s new documentary feature, Val, is not a mortality play. It is a rehearsal for an upcoming act. During a tour of his one-man stage show, Citizen Twain, Val Kilmer was diagnosed with throat cancer. The actor underwent two tracheostomies, and now can only speak while covering a tube. The narration of the new film is thus done by his son Jack Kilmer, allowing the pair to share a non-verbal connection throughout the journey, and through time and expression itself. While there are flourishes of humor, the documentary is a serious study of an artist who has always struggled to be understood, told through the selective memory of Kilmer’s POV.

“I’ve wanted to tell a story about acting for a very long time,” Kilmer says toward the beginning of the documentary. “And now that it’s difficult to speak, I want to tell my story more than ever.” Kilmer is an artist, one who takes his vocation very seriously and introspectively. An actor’s voice is more than a tool, it is their primary source of communication. Non-verbal exchanges are important, but dialogue is the primary idea delivery system in staged and filmed works. Surgical procedures have split his throat, shredding the scope of his instrument. In the film, Kilmer is forced to project his story on the empty space between the notes.

Among Kilmer’s many defining roles, the one which appears to ring truest is his encapsulation of Jim Morrison, the poet and lead vocalist of the Doors in Oliver Stone’s 1991 biopic, The Doors. The young Kilmer is shown onstage in a small club, lost in the music, awaiting his cue to become one with the mic. Moments in Kilmer’s personal history, like how the actor was tagged with a “difficult” label, are consigned to rests. The most overt reference to Kilmer’s “bad boy” reputation comes from Robert Downey Jr., who smashes the notoriety to bits in a moment of impromptu dismissal.

There is no gossip here. There is no discussion of A-list-bad behavior. Kilmer sees it all as artistic license.  He was searching for honesty, he remembers. Choices like lying on top of a mattress filled with ice in order to feel a real pain during his last scene with Kurt Russell in Tombstone come across as perfectly valid. Kilmer is still bitter over spending four months learning to play guitar for Top Secret!, and his first note informs him the director thinks he looks funnier faking it. There is little evidence of unprofessionalism, only growing pains.

The bulk of Val comes from clips of 8mm home video footage Kilmer has been shooting most of his life. “I’ve kept everything, and it’s been sitting in boxes for years,” Kilmer informs us. The archive was intended to tell a story about “where you end and the acting begins.” We are gifted with moon shots of both Kevin Bacon and Sean Penn, which have nothing to do with the films Apollo 13 or The First.

Early self-directed screen tests provoke a series of what-ifs. A tortuous encapsulation of a Juilliard acting class is a lesson in what-nots. Val’s hand-held approach to The Island of Dr. Moreau is a highlight. The actor respectfully rocks his co-star and idol, Marlon Brando, on a hammock they both wish was strung to John Frankenheimer. Please turn off the camera, the film’s replacement director demands. But Kilmer only hits pause when it’s time to rehearse.

The behind-the-scenes camcorder footage from sets of Top Gun, Tombstone, and The Doors are treasure troves in themselves, and possibly underused. Most of the audience will be very interested in the candid youth and truth recorded over his career. Val uses the archival clips and unearthed b-roll to establish a chronology.

Many videos were made at home in Los Angeles with Kilmer’s younger brother Wesley, who had an epileptic seizure and drowned at age 15. His death casts a mournful pall following the news that Val was the youngest applicant ever accepted as a drama student at Juilliard. Kilmer calls his brother “an artistic genius,” and one of the most revealing things to come out of the documentary is how often Kilmer used this brother’s art to augment the backgrounds of the sets he is living through on film.

Seeing how Stone speaks about Kilmer now makes me wonder if Val would have been able to put in the same performances in his movies if he knew it at the time. In his audition tapes for Full Metal Jacket and Goodfellas, we see an actor who needs to be taken seriously. He flies 6,000 miles to hand deliver his tape to Stanley Kubrick in London.

While he makes no comment, footage reveals Kilmer’s favorite Batman was played by Adam West. “Every boy wants to be Batman,” we hear, and see the Caped Crusader in every era of Kilmer’s life. A short, animated film he and his brother made with what looks like crayon is a Batman spoof. He still glories in the moment he got deposited behind the classic TV series’ iconic wheels as a youngster visiting the lot. It appears Kilmer still can’t pass a grocery store Batmobile without feeding it quarters. He wears the classic blue Halloween ensemble expecting tricks and treats as a kid, and as a daddy with his kids.

Don’t expect to see Kilmer wearing his cinematic puffed rubber suit at home, and it’s not because he left it at the dry cleaners. Footage old and new, homemade or professionally recorded, presents the Batsuit as an albatross. Heavy rests the cowl. He has to be lifted from chairs, deposited on marks, and his only identifying feature on the set of Batman Forever is a chin and bottom lip. Anyone could have been behind the mask, and the human superhero envied the subhuman villains. Kilmer comes across as quite happy Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones are able to create fully formed performance art in their portrayals. But he wanted to play with those toys.

“Batman Forever,” Kilmer laments, “whatever boyish excitement I had going in was crushed by the reality of the Batsuit. I realized it was just my job to show up and stand where they told me.” As the captured past footage is juxtaposed with modern sequences, we get an unfiltered glimpse of how little this has changed. The sequence of Kilmer at the Comic-Con autograph booth is wrenching. He initially didn’t want to take the part of Iceman in Top Gun because he felt it glorified the military. So many fans ask him to sign “You can be my wingman” on their souvenirs. It turns his stomach. He throws up in a garbage can and wheeled through hallways with a blanket over his head. Trouper that he is, he returns to the booth to finish out the signatures.

Kilmer blurred himself into the role of Mark Twain. There is a beautiful sequence where the actor walks through town to the beach, in full stage makeup, dressed in the signature white suit and long mustache of his character. It is extremely telling when Kilmer tells the camera it’s hard enough writing a good screenplay, much less a great one, which itself doesn’t even match what he feels he needs to bring to a script of a film version of Citizen Twain. Kilmer sold his ranch in New Mexico to finance the project. The documentary only captures some of the frustrations.

Most of the anecdotes are guarded, and all the admissions are part of a subjective narrative. Kilmer’s arc has rough edges, these tales are too smooth, and leave little room for impressionistic interpretation. Kilmer met his former wife, Joanne Whalley, when she was starring in a West End play directed by Danny Boyle, but he didn’t approach her.

“She was brilliant, and I was in town making fluff,” Kilmer concedes. It’s all about the art, even appearances. The documentary hints that Kilmer’s dedication to character did the most damage to their relationship. Wearing the same pair of leather pants for nine months could almost be on the books as probable cause for divorce in Hollywood.

Similarly, Kilmer’s Christian Science upbringing is brought up, and dropped. There is a loving but ambiguous undertone to Kilmer’s relationship with his once-rich-and-powerful father, who put his son in debt after trying to become a southern California land tycoon. But a sequence on his Swedish mother which juxtaposes a car ride he took with her when he was a child with one of being driven to her funeral speaks volumes without words.

Val is about the next step. “What’s past is prologue” William Shakespeare wrote in The Tempest. Kilmer pondered the “too, too solid flesh” while rehearsing Hamlet, and the documentary opens after the actor faced his own mortality. Kilmer swears he feels better than he sounds and, while he finds little to regret in his memories, he expects less in the ones he has yet to create.

Val can be seen on Amazon Prime Video.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Val Kilmer Documentary Punctures the Actor’s Bad Boy Myth appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2VvZ2lA

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek