#a grown up emotion even

[grimalkinmessor]

The thing about Age Swap AU that I really like is the fact that both Mob and Reigen are inherently so much more unstable.

On Reigen's end, most of it is from the fact that he's a kid—he doesn't have the same amount of emotional intelligence because he has less experience overall, and the fact that his relationship with his parents isn't,,,,great, even in a canon setting. A boy still mucking around in the trenches of parental abuse/neglect is always going to be more rickety emotionally and mentally than a grown man who's been given years to heal and distance himself from it.

And then there's Mob. Mob is a bit more a wild card in this area, just because without Reigen his childhood is more or less an unknown. Did Mogami find him? Would it have made him crueller if Mogami mentored him instead? What about Claw? Did they take him in? Is he still with them, did they fall, does he regret it? Is he jaded or riddled with guilt or stuffed so far back in his shell that it takes a little blond boy wielding a huge emotional and verbal hammer to start breaking through it? Either way, I definitely don't see him being as emotionally stable as canon Mob. He likely hasn't reconciled with Shigeo, he probably never truly accepted his powers, and thus has the emotional maturity of a ten year old—Reigen still beats him on this. Mob's only point of positive advice would've been Ritsu, and that's....I mean, it's Ritsu. He hasn't had any significant good influences in his life so he absolutely struggles on how to be one himself.

The potential for these two to be codependent is SO much higher and I love it. Unhealthy dynamics are my absolute JAM (one of the reasons I have this animatic rotating in my head at top speeds 24/7 365) so the inherent prickliness of whatever Wrongness™ these two have going on just. has me. Reigen clings because it's all he knows how to do—even if Mob banishes him from the office, he's a persistent kid that hasn't learned you shouldn't chase after moody grown men with emotions so repressed it manifests as a literal eldritch alter with no morals to curb its desires. And Mob has had to go even longer alone in this sort of universe than ever, and Reigen is likely the only person who's never been afraid of him; he's latching onto that kid like bear trap and never letting go. He's still tenderhearted, but it's plagued with years and years of loneliness and inner turmoil that he's had no one around to soothe; he's over a decade too late for 'healthy'. Not that Reigen minds <3

#feral about them #age swap au #mobrei #reimob #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #mob #kageyama shigeo #grown up reigen at least has the emotional maturity and common sense to know how to fix his fuck ups with mob #grown up mob....would NOT have that #and kid reigen likely wouldnt have anyone telling him that hes inherently worth something #canon mob has ritsu and his absent-minded but well meaning parents and even the telepathy club/bic #tiny reigen probably has his sister and thats it #and even then #you couldnt beat that kid off mob with a stick #and ritsu would probably know. hes tried. #it doesnt help that mob has subconciously psychically glued reigen to his ribs #theyre soooo unwell your honor 💕💕

[dasketcherz]

does it ever drive you crazy...how fast the night changes?

#daske art #fnaf #five nights are freddy's #fnaf rebuild #michael afton #fnaf gregory #leaky-heart #i just wanted to find an excuse to draw grown up gregory thats all really #cuz boi it makes me emotional just thinking bout it #and to manifest it makes me emotional even harder

[yardsards]

queen of never retouching her gotdam hair dye

#eliot posts #toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #amity blight #also it appears to have gotten lighter in addition to the roots. not even witches are safe from the peril of semi permanent hair dye. #though tbh i've kinda grown to enjoy seeing my dye fade and the colours shift. adds some variety to my appearance. #and getting to re-dye is actually kinda fun #re-bleaching the roots is Terrible though #sometimes i just put new dye over brown roots and it doesn't match the rest of the hair but it's Close Enough to not be that noticeable #season 2 episode 2 in which amity decides to dye her own hair and stains camila's sink ourple #and the rest of the episode is her trying to clean it #im assuming her not touching up her dye is like she misses her siblings and doesn't wanna do that without them there. for Emotional Reasons #just like not wanting her hair to be all green so putting that off #but i can still poke fun #she is like a little sister to me. i love her but sometimes i gotta dunk on her.

[sysig]

How much of me is me? (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Papyrus #Another one that I cried to while drawing hehe ♪ Hhhhh I love their dynamic so much <3 <3 ;; #Sans' apparent disinterest in hurting Gaster is deeply interesting to me - we see him punch Gaster in Mercyplates even! :0 #I can't help but feel that a good portion of it is Papyrus being there with him when Gaster gives them his arm haha #Would he have been as well-behaved if he'd been by himself? I wonder :) #But generally I read it as him having grown up <3 They've both matured so beautifully by that point it's just ah- such a treat to read #Their transition from their childhood to their teens and young adulthood into themselves is just jdlksafhdsfd it's incredibly well written! #I say ''I wonder'' quite a lot lol but that's just speculation - watching them grow into themselves is So Incredibly satisfying <3 #It feels so natural to watch them become themselves ♥ It's beautiful ♪♫ #And their sibling dynamic is truly unrivaled <3 They support each other! Lift each other up! Where one stumbles the other catches him! #I love them so much ahh #Papyrus' emotional intelligence gets me so bad <3 The sweetest lad #I feel like it would bother Sans that he/they have Gaster's memories and not their own #It makes me especially sad to think about everything he missed of them - if only you hadn't fallen behind on the footage Gaster! >:0 #They already have some pretty incredible identity issues just throw being pieces of him in every sense into the mix #They're grown from him and even when they got away and built themselves that still got subplanted with memories that aren't even theirs! #It's a rough spot #Papyrus though ♥ Always knows what to say hehe #Reaffirming that Sans is the most important person to him - that they are to each other - that no matter what they're brothers #And that no matter what - even having Gaster's memories or being without memories at all - that Sans is a good person #That it's not out of self-preservation or trying to do it for Papyrus' sake (even if that is a lot of it haha) #That /Sans/ is the one making that decision of his own volition and his own morals and beliefs #And that he loves and supports him no matter what <3 #''I know you can be a good person. You can choose to do the right thing'' and ''I see you being a good person. You're doing the right thing' #Hhhh <3 I love them <3

[uldahstreetrat]

I'd love to make a playlist for Q'ihnn but none of the music I consistently listen to ever feels the right vibe for him?

what encompasses a self sacrificing paladin who fights desperately to protect what he has because he has known so much loss, but who is also a little bit of a slut but in a way where he believes it's because he's inherently unlovable in some way, and who feels his friends see him more like a marble statue to be admired than an actual person

cause it sure as hell ain't yung gravy or wind rose

#ffxiv #ff14 #yeah sure I'll tag this one #usually keep my musings to the blog and not the wider fandom but eh why not #also I'm crying on the couch rn and need a distraction #the core of my soul is still a fundamentally lonely little girl who still can't see she's loved #even when my sister quietly brings me a sandwich for dinner in a little ziploc bag in case I don't eat it right away #I wish she wasn't adopted but that we had grown up together #I hope there's a universe out there where we did #where we're both a little more okay for it #I feel like I keep dumping my emotions into these tags like prose poetry #somehow this feels like it's the safest place to do it

[itspileofgoodthings]

ended up telling my mom “she’s a billionaire pop star … she’s also a songwriter I’ve loved for a long time. both of those things are true.”

#not a conversation I can have for a long time as it’s too uncomfortable #but it was good to push through and say it #it’s interesting. I will always have a deep emotional connection to Taylor and also always love her as a person and an artist #and she IS a billionaire pop star with all of the attendant choices that go with that #and as i’ve gotten older there’s just been way more distance #in terms of my need to defend her choices or agree with them or even understand them #I have grown less defensive of her (in a good way) #and I think am more able to just See What Is To Be Seen #without. again. feeling the need to take it all on as something I have to defend on behalf of someone I am Holding Up as an Example #I’m not holding her up? like. #idk if this makes sense #But I remember reaching this point where I was just like ‘gosh I hope she never writes a song that contradicts any of the songs’ #‘upon which I have built this artistic vision’ #‘of her and what she stands for’ #and it was so funny because it was this TERRIFIED desire on my part to freeze time #and freeze Taylor #so that my reading would be true forever #just wanted to put her in a cottage on the top of a hill and keep her safe there forever #metaphorically but also literally! #and then I’ve just had to let that go #best believe she’s still bejeweled lol #that was for me TOO #and anyway her sheer prolificness made it clear I was never going to be able to keep this watchful eye on it all #it was just going to have to pour in and I was going to have to let it #and also on some level emotionally personally I was going to have to step back #and be less invested in a certain way #in a very real daily life kind of way #anyway after the eras tour was so funny because i had this strong sense that we were being SWEPT out of the stadium #with Taylor’s trademark Efficiency. and it was hilarious. Like yes yes the love and connection and talent is real #and Billionaire Pop Star has places to be and a crowd of peasants to manage!!! (I say this with love and a sense of humor) anyway

[nobrain-onlysteven]

Grandpacore Kai and his feral gremlin daughter Wyldfyre are so special to me

#i love them a normal amount #I’m telling you it’s the found family #I can’t even explain how emotional I got seeing Kai all mildly responsible and just… OLDER #HES ALL GROWN UP 😭😭 #wyldfyre is the child I never knew I needed #kai smith #wyldfyre #ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising wyldfyre #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago kai #kai ninjago

[fictionadventurer]

A character's motivation should not be a mystery. Their backstory can be a mystery. The depths of their character can be a mystery. But not motivation. If you want us to care, we should know why they're doing what they're doing; we should understand why success is so important to them.

A villain can be a different case. Sometimes, the only motivation you need to know about is "They're evil" or "They work for the bad guys." But if the feud is personal, we should see what makes it personal. Holding the "why" back as a thrilling reveal is almost never as effective as just letting us know from the beginning.

A plot twist gives you one cool moment. Character attachment makes the entire story interesting.

#adventures in writing #yes this is about the kenobi miniseries #half of the twist was the obvious thing from the beginning #i'll admit the other half of it was kind of a cool reveal #but how much more interesting would it have been to know at least some of this from the beginning? #it could have given us a little investment in her instead of her feeling like some interloper #who's keeping us from the kenobi-vader confrontation we all care about #she wasn't even necessary #because you have the very personal feud between vader and kenobi #obi-wan mourns anakin's fall and anakin's angry that obi-wan cut off his limbs and left him to burn to death #that's compelling! #you don't need another villain to get in the way of that #but even if she's needed to keep vader and kenobi from meeting too soon #they could have structured things to give us an attachment to her #or at least an understanding #right from the beginning #imagine if we'd seen her as a youngling in that very first scene #and then cut straight to her as a grown-up hunting jedi #immediately your intellectual and emotional investment are increased #how did she go from the victim to the villain? #what's her story? #it even still allows for the twist reveal but in a way that let us understand at least part of her a bit more #perhaps even have vader treat her like an apprentice #to be a dark parallel to the anakin-kenobi relationship #so it looks like the personal obsession with kenobi is just her trying to please her master #until she goes the way of all sith and tries to overcome her master #there were better ways to go about this #which holds true for just about everything star wars tbf #but sometimes their seeming unconcern with good story structure is baffling

[doeblossom]

if anyone was wondering where ive been this week

#they make me so emotional #huntlow #I DIDNT EVEN DRAW ANYTHING FOR MY OWN BIRTHDAY LOL #i literally cry #when i look at grown up hunter #hes MY AGE technically #but hes so big!!! #and theyr eSO CUTE TOGETHER

[socksandbuttons]

IM SCREAMING UYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#sun and moon show spoilers #YEAH SO MUCH SCREAMING OVER THE WHOLE CONFRONTATION #LUNAR HAVING GROWN SO MUCH AS A PERSON #FINALLY UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE JAZZ IS UP WITH ECLIPSE #AND GOING 'alright then' PROCEEDS TO OVERCOME THE TRAUMA #ECLIPSE MAY NOT HAVE ADMITTED ANYTHING BUT THE FACT HE WAS SO PUT OFF ABOUT LUNAR #ASKING IF HE COULD HIT HIM??????????? LIKE???????? BRUH #'eclipse doesnt care' u caNT EVEN READ BETWEEN THE LINES OF THE COMPLEXITIES OF THIS MAN #WHO CANT EVEN FATHOM HIS OWN EMOTIONS PROPERLY #im screaming im so soaking up this episode hell eYEAH #LUNAR ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDING HE BETRAYED ECLIPSE!!!!!!!! #ACKNOWLEDING THE STUFF THAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #yeah he may have hit u once lunar but it was enough for you bud. your in a better fam #BUT AHHHHHHHHH #anyway im totally fine after this dfont WORRY ABOUT #knowing my bean au was actually not to far on 'yeah it could be okay' #hell Yeah

[immortalmoron]

I don't care what people say or think I'm gonna keep on enjoying plushies/stuffed animals.

The joy I get from them?? Getting home after a very draining day and just grabbing them and feeling a little bit better??? The comfort during the hard times?????

I fucking love them. Shout out to plushes.

#jack wont shut up #seriously i dont care that im “too old for that” #i dont care that “its childish” or “weird” #like #im an adult. sure. #does that mean i suddenly stopped needing comfort??? #does that mean i suddenly can handle the world and all that it throws at me??? #that i can suddenly just deal with stuff flawlessly that i used to struggle with???? #no you fucking moron it doesnt #people are people even if theyre grown up #so let them be just that #let them have their comfort when they need it #let them have small joys even if you yourself dont share it #be fucking nice. it isnt that hard #anyways ramble over lol #sorry i got home a bit emotional saw my plush and went “yeah.” #anyways anyways #yay comfort items

[moe-broey]

Also I underestimated how difficult doing Fatesawakening-esque portraits for Moe would be because that Thang emotes with its whole fucking body. Like I feel like if you go through all my drawings (ref sheet/more recent drawings where you see it more in action, esp my comics), you see the emotion (or something more complicated) in more than in just its expressions. It's in the body language, and silly hair physics.

Plus that isn't even factoring in attempting to pin down just a few "main" emotions -- which is already a fucked up and difficult thing to do with Moe specifically, because sometimes the way it emotes outwardly doesn't match what its saying or feeling internally!!! And it is just extremely expressive in general (except for when it isn't.)

My guy is so restricted by this format it's so sad. Like an animal in an enclosure that is not suited for it 😔

#moe tag #summoner oc #well it was an interesting study! #esp to compare and contrast the initial emotions i sketched out for the ref sheet vs #the way moe has sort of naturally grown into itself/expressing itself in A Setting w other charas #and esppp in comparison to mani. a lot of my mani stuff is behind the scenes LMFAO i am particular about it #but one thing is mani's mannerisms/emoting is even 'worse' than moe's. when it comes to things Not Matching Up. #i am always thinking about it. the effects of autistic masking in its peak and how emotions/expressing them #is just so fucking difficult. or simply just different. when you're autistic. #i was gonna try more portraits but. i don't feel too compelled actually it feels too restrictive 🥲 #the initial one i drew through is a good candidate for an icon though.... #my art

[blitheringbongus]

Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.

IKR SAME OMG

They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional

But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them

#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline #Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans.. #the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstory’s in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide #but now that I’ve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think I’m pretty set on- #-his part #Scar tho??? no clue #I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa- #-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasn’t conscidered a player yet since he was an- #-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen #again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldn’t #access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasn’t his world #and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff #and then there’s the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher #and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people- #-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didn’t place him there as a baby no. they #placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one ☝️ dream per #Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didn’t know that it’s him but like he felt a strange pull towards these #dreams so that’s basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know #and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that he’s won and he didn’t ask to know who he was and #where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since he’s made peace with that maybe it is #better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff #and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D #anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also there’s that backstory where #hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also #it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them #asks #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #redscape

[dullahandyke]

Once again thinking ienzo thoughts... nonverbal obviously autistic child > turned into a creature that couldn't feel emotions for his entire teenhood > 'well-adjusted' young man... good thing hes an illusionist because theres no way in hell this cunt isnt masking

#like the org is obviouslt a shithole even without having grown up in it even without being autistic #but like. he did and he is #and the fact that joining the org made him more outwardly normal (speaking emoting even falsely etc) #is HIGHLY fucking suspect in my book #once again holding up my 'hasnt even played rikus route of com yet' disclaimer #but like. this is not a difficult conclusion to come to imo

[batri-jopa]

Found on facebook today

I hate that it looks like some "list of shame"

#okey so it feels a bit too much like blaming self blaming or otherwise negative emotions here... #I think I grown out of 'chasing' and 'obsessive' and... 'overtalking' (though my internet friends would not agree lol) #but why 'making up stories and worlds' is put into this list like another negative trait? like 'something that proves you're a loser'? #and not a wonderful alternative to any other boring life cliche? #okey I am excessively helpful indeed... I can't say 'no' even when I'm really pissed off by the amount of asking-for-help-or-a-favor around #and when I spend another hour after hour of my free time to help them they say: 'oh you are always so kind and helpful!' #to only keep on asking for more next time... oh f*ck off already all you excessively-asking-for-help!😫 #if you liked me you'd let me rest!!! and you wouldn't give me 5 minutes of YOUR fucking precious time if I was more assertive😣 #I so love to spend my time with people not knowing I'm a doctor. Or knowing and not using it. Then I know they like me for me❤ #and not seeing me as their wish-granting machine #aroace #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #aspec #a spec #a spectrum #not too positive this time... more a vent... #but whenever someone tries to put me into a 'loser' labeled box in their narrow mind - I want to make their mind explode!!!

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps. #you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown? #that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes? #that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old? #im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed. #you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out? #I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt. #i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years. #i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best. #I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything. #any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic' #so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden. #i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door. #sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems. #that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too. #ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day. #therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed. #emotions are so hard to figure out.