#a touch of holiday related anxiety

[itsaash]

The 6 days of winter(pod)fics: Day 2

Season's Greetings

For day two we have a podfic of Season's Greetings by @fruitcoops! We know Eve's page is a treasure trove of emotions and amazing writing, and this year I've pretty firmly set roots in their fluff list. (maybe prepare yourself for a week of sweet, fluffy fics in general, with just a hint of spice later in the week)

Here's the link to the podfic featuring @givemetherapyimawritingtravesty and @veryspacecowboy.

Enjoy and thanks for listening! thanks to Eve for letting your masterlists be my playground, and @lumosinlove for the characters

#podfic #coops #airport reunion #hope and lyall lupin #AND JULIAN LUPIN! #a touch of holiday related anxiety #found family #12 minutes long #written by fruitcoops #characters by lumosinlove #regulus black #and he's even happy too

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

#adhd #adult adhd #adhd combined #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd treatment

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - Non-smut Vol 1

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | Vol 2

Hi friends! Sometimes we want fics that are SFW or we just want to make ourselves sad or we need a little pick me up. I'm here with a list of fics that have no (explicit) smut as of posting! They may have smutty thoughts or mild allusions to smut, but those are marked in the warnings!

I know, me, posting non-smut fics.... but they deserve love too! Note that while many of these are rated T, they are posted on blogs that are 18+ so MDNI <3

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Updated 2/22/2024

Whiskey, Dark and Deep - Jack - @prolix-yuy

Summary: In the short time you’ve known Jack Daniels, he’s disappointed you three times. Warnings: M, violence, blood, injuries, gunfights, so so so much yearning, full on cowboy tropes.

A bearable weight - Javi G - prolix-yuy

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them. Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can’t help myself, some lightly spicy kisses.

One Hundred and Fifty Seven - Din - @theidiotwhowritesthings

Summary: Din fakes his death for some reason. They leave reader behind thinking he’s dead. Months go by and he returns but reader is like super not okay. Say she’s been super into spice because then she can see Din when she’s high. Anyway, happy ending but loooots of angst please! Also, can it be a bit between him returning and reader being okay with him being back?” Warnings: angst with happy end, drug use, drug addiction, mentions of death, brief canon violence, self loathing, anxiety, self doubt, boba adopts reader b/c i couldn’t resist

Bullseye - Joel - @softlyspector

summary: You never learned how to shoot a gun, Joel insists on teaching you. warnings: tensionnnnn, flirting and ✨touching✨, fluff

In an instant - Joel - @mishasminion360

Summary: Happy Birthday, Joel Miller... Warnings: Um…..😳🙄 (ed. note: I hate to spoil the story, but since this list is intented to help people avoid triggers, I must; Major Character Death (reader), angst, loss of pregnancy)

It would be - Din - @fuckyeahdindjarin

Summary (aka prompt I gave myself): ‘It would be easier if you just married him.’ Warnings: angst, jealousy, fighting, pining, yearning, no use of Y/N

Just Keep Breathing - Javi P - @swiftispunk

Summary: javi finds it harder and harder to keep up with the more physical aspects of his job. reader offers him some love and words of comfort. warnings etc: BODY REPRESENTATION <3 (reader is described as having thicker thighs, a belly, and crow’s feet), smoking + smoking related health issues, hurt/comfort, back massages, fluff, angst, bein in ur 30s/40s, established relationship. probably bad spanish (please correct me). NO USE OF Y/N.

Every Pilot Needs a Wingman - Frankie - @kikis-writing-world

Summary: You have been pining quietly over your neighbor for months. He hasn’t noticed, but apparently his friend has… Warnings: Smutty thoughts - grey sweatpants should be their own warning. Fleeting mentions of masturbation and sex toys. Swearing. Santi gives the reader tips on how to impress/pick up Frankie, I don’t know if that might come off as shady or triggering to people so I want to mention that.

Bucket of Bolts - Din - @toxic-seduction

summary: The dad and the dog he didn't want but its Din Djarin and a BD unit. warnings: Din being mean to BD. Man is so petty its funny

A girl walks into a bookshop - Ezra - @oonajaeadira

Summary: Set a couple of years after the events of the film. Ezra owns a bookshop. You walk in. Warnings: The coziest, softest romance. They do work up to intimacy, but it is sequestered in it’s own chapter–the “Interlude”–which can be skipped without losing any of the story. 

Breathe Through It - Joel - @ezrasversion

Summary: you have a panic attack. Joel helps. Warnings: Descriptions of mental health conditions (namely PTSD, but can be read as any anxiety based disorder with panic attacks) / graphic description of a panic attack / some adult language/ references to past trauma (nothing explicitly described but inferred).

A kiss before dying and in death we combine - Joel - oonajaeadira

Summary: When Joel becomes infected, you make the decision not to leave him alone. Warnings: Blood and wounds. Bodily character death. Loss. Love that hurts. Sex of course, but blurred to the edges. Playing fast and loose with the cordyceps and how fast it grows.

102 - Frankie - @tieronecrush

summary: every week, you and frankie meet up at the same spot at the same time to catch-up and share a coffee. you’ve been his best friend for years. through thick and thin, always there. thing is, frankie’s been in love with you for nearly as long as he’s known you and hasn’t worked up the courage to tell you. warnings: no use of Y/N, post-film timeline, au where frankie doesn’t have a kid, use of pet names (solecita, mi mejor), high school level spanish (mostly swear words), unrequited love, self deprecation, alcohol use/drunkenness, smoking

Safe in my arms - Ezra - mishasminion360

Summary: Ezra harbors a secret hatred for his absent arm, but his feelings come to a head when his newly acquired handicap fails to do the one task he vowed never to fail in: keep you safe from harm. Warnings: Language; light angst; feelings of insecurity; body dysmorphia; brief allusions to smut; hurt/comfort; fluff.

Leave Off Your Wandering - Joel - oonajaeadira

Summary: An area native, long-term resident and shepherd in Jackson, you prefer quiet and isolation and the company of sheep. It seems this new resident Joel Miller and his young ward might share your interests. Warnings: M (possible canon violence and language. most likely non-explicit sex further down the line.) (ed. note; no smut as of chapter 2)

Peace - Joel - swiftispunk

summary: jackson era, post-tlou. you and joel discuss what it means to die. warnings: angst and fluff, discussions of death and dying, discussions of sex but nothing too explicit, age difference implied but not specified (joel is older than you but the number of years is not relevant), established relationship. NO USE OF Y/N.

This is me trying - Joel/Ellie platonic!! - swiftispunk

summary: jackson. a flashback on a film reel sparks a memory. joel tells ellie how it feels. warnings: angst, discussions of child loss, discussions of grief and death, ig fluff

Epiphany - Joel - @jksprincess10

Summary: Your new neighbor is a war veteran with a lot of scars. (1k words) Warnings: AU where Joel is in the military, age gap, PTSD, anxiety, insomnia, allusions to smut, suicidal thoughts, sad ending. Beware!! 

Significant - Din - softlyspector

Summary: Din has been calling you riduur for months. You finally find out what it means, and get a little more than you bargained for. Warnings: pining, absolute FOOLS in love, bit of grumpy x sunshine, lil angsty, possibly incorrect lore, fluff, lots of Mando'a (translations for the Mando'a at the end

A pile of cards - Javi P - @undercoverpena

summary: it’s become a tradition. he presents you with a birthday card so you can collect his words, while he collects the expressions you share as you read them. warnings: javi through the seasons, narcos season two/three spoilers. cute, fluff. happy ending.

Fire - Din - jksprincess10

Summary: None Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, this is pretty short, mando still has the crest, canon divergent.

Honeyed - Joel - softlyspector

Summary: You hate being touched, but you might be willing to put aside your discomfort for a tattoo from Joel. Warnings: slow build, no outbreak tattoo!au, reader has issues with touch and is mostly touch adverse, tattoos and getting tattooed (the reader only has one tattoo that is described in any detail), description of a past abusive relationship and a bad experience getting tattooed, insecurity, anxiety, loneliness, implied undefined past trauma with men, Joel gets to have both his daughters in this, you can decide if this is game joel or show joel

The Art of Healing - Marcus Pike - @northernbluess

Summary: Marcus Pike was feeling lost—unfulfilled and unmoored. After a failed marriage, heartbreak courtesy of his ex-fiancée and relocating to D.C., Marcus knew that he needed more than the FBI. Seven years later, Marcus has traded in Special Agent for Doctor and is now a clinical psychologist specialising in art therapy. He combines his two loves of art and psychology, spurred on by his experience in art crimes, FBI psych courses and his own time in therapy. Josephine is referred to Dr Pike, having just been discharged from treatment for an eating disorder. While Dr Pike is fresh to his new career, he is knowledgeable, warm, kind and attentive. Over time, as she bares her soul to him, he falls for her and the bond between them ties both their heads in knots. As her therapist he knows it’s wrong but he begins to feel incapable of separating his feelings from his work. Before long neither can truly live without the other — if only she knew that. Warnings: (warnings will be specified in each individual chapter, however, please read these carefully) Art Therapist!Marcus Pike, eating disorder, therapy, mentions of disordered eating patterns, hurt/comfort, slow burn, lots of pining and tension, angst, age gap, strained familial relationships, so much softness and feelings, eventual smut (ed. note: no smut as of chapter 5 and worth the read up to that point)

The Man That I Love - Joel - @lumoverheaven

Summary: None (ed. note: Joel is an idiot who doesn't know what he has until he almost loses it). Warnings: None (ed. note: angst)

Not Strong Enough - Joel - @beskarandblasters

Summary: Fem!Reader and Joel are in an established relationship, having met shortly after the events in Kansas City. They’re living in Jackson, Wyoming together, post Salt Lake City with Ellie. Things are going well until an incident happens during patrol and Joel questions whether or not he’s good enough. Written in third person. Warnings: angst, feeling inadequate, canon types of violence, swearing, bar fight, Joel is an asshole :/

Halloween - Joel - beskarandblasters

Summary: You’re in a relationship with Joel and living with him and Ellie in Jackson, Wyoming. You met after their stop in Kansas City and started your relationship with Joel soon after. You stayed behind in Jackson when they left to find the Fireflies. When they came back from the events of Salt Lake City you noticed a change in Joel but whenever you question him he shuts down. Now it’s Halloween in Jackson and Joel has some confessions to make. Warnings: angst with a side of angst (I mean it’s Halloween what did you expect), Joel lying, swearing, drinking

Chinese Satellite - Joel - beskarandblasters

Summary: A look into your life after Joel dies and how you're coping Warnings: takes place after Joel goes golfing in the second game, nothing but pure angst, mentions of death, struggling with the ideas of religion, the afterlife, aliens and ghosts (I mean it's Chinese Satellite what did you expect), drinking, struggling with loss and grief, overexercising

Savior Complex - Joel - beskarandblasters

Summary: A few years after the events of Salt Lake City Joel finds the guilt of lying to Ellie eating him alive. The reader is torn between wanting to tell Ellie the truth but also making sure she gets to be a normal teenager. The reader finds herself struggling to keep the three of them afloat. Can be read as a standalone or a continuation of Halloween. Warnings: can be read as a gender neutral reader, angst with a side of angst, both Joel and reader suffer from savior complex lol, drinking, mentions of eating

Do You Love Me - Dieter - me

Summary: here is a fluffy (by my standards) little drabble in the A Ghost of You universe. Can be read standalone Warnings: There's just some kissing and no mentions of anything bad because I'd never do anything bad to D, would I?

Thunder Buddies - Joel - me

Summary: Joel comforting reader who is scared of thunderstorms Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, Joel being adorable, cuddling, cuteness, a distinct lack of angst or smut - which is really weird coming from me.

Wash Day - Marcus P - @secretelephanttattoo

Summary: Some completely self-indulgent romantic fluff about Marcus Pike washing your hair. Warnings: none

Personal Best - Marcus P - secretelephanttattoo

Summary: This picture of Pedro holding a dog inspired me to write a fluffy meet-cute for Marcus Pike & Reader. I'm feeling 90s romantic comedy vibes, I don't know if I'll write anything more on this but we'll see if people like it. Warnings: none

Context and Perspective - Marcus M - @elvenmother

Summary: The newest member of the Heroics has gone missing and as one of the better-known Villains on the scene, you are blamed. Then your sidekick goes missing. You must go after the Heroic’s leader to try to get them back and clear your name. Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injuries, mentions of blood

A Very Furby Christmas - Joel - @proxima-writes

Summary: it’s christmas eve 1998 and joel miller thinks everything is perfect. well, until his brother admits he didn’t get sarah the one present she wanted - the furby. now, joel has to go out on christmas eve to find the year’s hottest toy that’s been sold out for months. turns out, you’re on the same mission. and you’ve both found the last furby in town. Warnings: pre-outbreak, no use of y/n, holiday/christmas fic, the last toy trope, no smut, age gap - not explicitly specified but joel is 31 and reader is mid-20s, the great miller gingerbread construction competition, operation get sarah miller a furby, some kissing.

The Haunting of Dieter Bravo - Dieter - @idolatrybarbie Summary: "ghosts aren't real, except when they are." Warnings: referenced substance abuse, mentions of alcohol, dieter is sober, one song-based joke (please get it plsplspls), reader is gender neutral, a good ol' haunting tale.

The Locksmith - The Thief - oonajaeadira

Summary: A Thief you’ve known for years and have conflicting feelings for brings you a gift. The gift is a not only a puzzle in itself, but part of a larger mystery, one only you can crack. Warnings: reader is an adult, reader is AFAB, no physical descriptions of reader

A Piece of Cake - Frankie - idolatrybarbie

Summary: It's been a long time since you've seen Frankie Morales. Warnings: Angst, discussion of addiction, mentions of cocaine, alcohol consumption, bowling

The Parents That Are Left - Joel - @frenchiereading

Summary: There weren't many patrol partners Joel Miller tolerated: his brother and Iris. On a cold January day, Joel pays her mother a visit and finds out you can bond over anything. Unfortunately. Warnings: canon-typical violence and language, heavy angst, talks/mentions/descriptions of death and dead bodies, heavy discussions/thoughts of feelings/grief/guilt, suicidal thoughts, alcohol consumption, Jackson-era Joel, no reader, no y/n, OFC, not a single ounce of romance

For the Love of Horror - Dieter - @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist

Summary: Dieter and you watch a scary movie. Warnings: No use of y/n, horror movies, euphemisms, fluff, suggestive language

Stages of Grief - Joel - @bonezone44

Summary: After a tense interaction with a family member who raised you when you were little, you spiral. Joel talks you through it. Warnings: Gender neutral reader, familial trauma, angst, grief, neglect, trauma, childhood emotional/physical abuse

The Riding Lesson - Jack - @bluestar22x

Summary: When you are hired at a ranch as a trail guide, the owner asks the foreman to teach you how to ride Western style. Warnings: Suggestive thoughts, sexual tension, equestrian terms

Frankie and Din - Frankie/Din - @avastrasposts

Summary: a one-shot with our favourite pilot, sweet Frankie and our favourite space boy, broody Din based on the line; "Go on then, space boy, fly this.” Warnings: none

Light Only Shows You Where the Shadow Are - Max Phillips - oonajaeadira

Summary: The only thing that can get rid of a minor jerk is a major jerk. Warnings: Non-consensual attention (not Max), stalker behavior (when there’s trouble, Max always seems to be watching from nearby), vampire violence.

It's always been you - Dieter - @alwaysmicado

Summary: After a year of dating Dieter Bravo, you are forced to face reality. All good things must come to an end, right? Warnings: angst, age gap (unspecified), swearing, brief mention of p in v sex, brief mention of disordered eating and suicide, mention of black eye, toxic relationship, drug use, reader's coping mechanisms are unhealthy

John Wayne - Joel - @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: twenty years after the world ended, you find yourself face to face with Tommy Miller. The brother of the man who was your boyfriend at the time of the outbreak. Warnings: talk of attempted suicide, child loss, grief, angst

illicit affairs - Joel @chaotic-mystery

Summary: it’s my take on what illicit affairs means. Every time I listened to it I imagined Joel, specifically dbf Joel. I hope the swifties go *easy* on me and pls don’t say anything if you didn’t like it. Warnings: angst. And more angst. Swearing, forbidden relationship, arguing, fwb, alluded age gap but not specified. Use of nicknames (kid, baby……don’t look at me ok I didn’t do IT), reader is not physically described, no use of y/n.

Stay Close to Me - Jack - @alwaysbethewest

Summary: You're a rookie agent sent to work undercover with Jack as a married couple!Fake/undercover marriage! Statesman casefic! Warnings: A little romance, kissing, coarse language, very mild peril and hurt/comfort, and a splash of alcohol. Reader is a junior agent and has some muscle but otherwise no physical/age descriptions. As with any good Kingsman fic, my first step was to disregard half of canon, so this is either pre-movie or an AU.

To Know the Light - Din - @burntheedges

Summary: to go in the dark with a light is to know the light. Warnings: fluff, a teensy bit of angst, introspection, winter, food mention, reader has no description, gn!reader

O, Christmas Tree - Dieter - @covetyou

Summary: As PA to Dieter Bravo, you were used to the strange, unusual and downright weird. What you weren't used to was taking in a shipment of - what? And how many? Warnings: sex toys (so many butt plugs), Dieter being a menace to his PA, no smut, pure silliness.

In Fiction - Dieter - @sin-djarin

Summary: Dieter comes to bed. Warnings: Established relationship, mentions of self doubt, no physical description of reader, no dialogue, no use of y/n.

The Serpent Under It - Dave York - @brandyllyn

Summary: Dave is very good at his job Warnings: Canon typical violence. kinda dark yo, soulmate AU

I'll Leave a Light On For You - Max Phillips - oonajaeadira

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons. Warnings: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s.

Cocoon - Joel - secretelephanttattoo

Summary: A short ode to Joel's coat. / a bath with Joel Warnings: Angst and intimacy. 1 reference to blood and allusion to canon typical violence (nothing is described)

Home - Frankie - @dancingtotuyo

Summary: Frankie always comes home to you. Warnings: fluff, angst, girl dad!frankie, recovering!Frankie, references to drug use, references to violence, trauma, healing.

Negotiations - Max Phillips - prolix-yuy

Summary: Max Phillips never found marketing to be all that helpful. Hell, running an ad on Facebook was easy enough. But then you walked in the door and he knew he had to have you, in all the ways he could. Warnings: T, descriptions of male and female bodies, some fantasizing and suggestive themes.

sweets for my sweet; sweets from my sweet - Ezra - @tinytinymenace

Summary: you are a cook at an exploration camp and one of the miners asks you about Earth and brings you a treat Warnings: Brief mentions of planet death (RIP Earth) and strained family dynamics but on balance this is soft.

Caught Kissing Santa - Dave York - @wildemaven

Summary: Alice saw you kissing Santa Claus Warnings: reader is married to Dave and stepmom to his kids, mentions of food and drinks, non-religious Christmas celebrations and Santa beliefs, alluding to sexy time but no smut, kissing, mentions reader is wearing pajama pants, fluff, soft Dave, one use of ‘good girl’.

Unwind - Dieter - @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: Dieter helps you unwind when you get your period after an already long day. Warnings: established relationship, reader menstruates, drug use (marijuana), reference to past drug use, reference to bad horror movies, Dieter being our favorite trash panda, sweet, fluff, domesticity

One Night - Marcus P - secretelephantattoo

Summary: You get one night with Marcus Pike. Warnings: Implied/referenced smut but nothing is explicitly described. Smoking and alcohol. Angst because they only have one night together. Marcus is a flirty menace. House party nostalgia. Heavy petting in a stairwell

Lovesick - Joel - prolix-yuy

Summary: You've been greedy for Joel for too long. Warnings: descriptions of wound care and blood, allusions to dubcon due to drinking and drug use, no actual smut

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Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #The spreadsheet Digest Outtakes

[brimbrimbrimbrim]

The Bear and The Baker: Chapter Three - COOK (NSFW)

Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five

Summary: She’s relatable and willing to help him figure out how to stop spiraling down a dark hole of anxiety, but she’s pretty and sweet and knows what to say and do… and Carmy just can’t help himself.

Tags: friends to lovers, UST, RST, pining, wet dreams, masturbation, lots of food talk, reader used to be a pastry chef, mental health, panic attacks, anxiety, meditation, oral sex, cunnilingus, premature ejaculation, handjob, desk sex, first times, virginity, mild dom/sub undertones, kitchen sex, love confessions

Words: 4k

You help with a wet rag, sopping up gluttonous slime from the boilover while Carmy drains the pasta, cursing quietly. There's embarrassment in his tone, frustration, and disappointment, making you wonder if this is how he acts when overwhelmed at work. It's almost triggering until you realize you're fortunate enough to earn a living outside a bustling restaurant now, though sometimes you look back on that shit with rose-tinted glasses and Carmy… well, he's a good reminder of how much stress it puts on a person. 

Is it any wonder you couldn't hack it after almost 10 years of it? Working in a kitchen is just shy of working in retail… may be worse in some ways or all ways. You've spent holidays making red velvet cakes, crème brûlée… tweezing out mint leaves until you went cross-eyed—spent days sick as a dog letting dough rise as your nails went soft from all the moisture. Fuck , you even worked triple shifts as a waitress in college… What a damn nightmare…

"Fuck… " Carmy bites.

You sneak a glance to find him white-knuckling the counter, steam rising out of the sink as the pasta drains and cools. His head's hung over the rising heat, throwing shadows into the cut musculature of his back, made all the more apparent by the white shirt and clinical lighting. You skim down his spine appreciatively, lost for a moment as he breathes deeply, stretching the cotton. He's deceptively thick, shorter than average, but more than making up for it in his sculpted arms, broad shoulders, and tapered waist.

It's hard not to stare as you finish cleaning up—hard not to imagine digging your thumbs into the tension down his back, just to see if you could loosen those knots no doubt lodged in his body given a chance.

"You okay, Carmy?"

"It's too fucking soft." A snap in his tone, like a tapered scream, has you hesitating for a moment.

"What? The noodles?"

He says nothing, but you know he means the pasta, only to confirm it when you carefully step the three paces to stand next to him as he glares flatly at the colander filled with doughy noodles. It looks like pasta, totally edible, carb-rich pasta.

"Al dente  is overrated anyway," you murmur, and think nothing of resting a palm on his lower back (treating him the way you'd wanna be treated, as your therapist would say), only to jolt back when he groans, or-or something like… as if you…

He's panting underneath you, nose pressed into the fat of your inner thigh, breathing hot over your folds as you lay your breasts against his taut abdomen and lick up a tear of precum from his cockhead… fist sliding up his length—his dick throbbing—his own hips humping forward in desperation. Carmy groans… a clogged sound just before the scorching taste of salted cum spurts over your tongue.

That dream was too fresh, and that sound he just made… far too similar. 

You inhale through your nose as Carmy digs his hips into the paneling beneath the sink, shoulders rising and head dropping further into his neck as if to hide, and… your gaze darts to his groin where you can't precisely see but know, somehow, that he's hard. When did that happen? Or was he—did you—when you touched him?

"Just-just give me a second," he says firmly, still pinned forward, hiding his expression in the dwindling steam.

You take another step to the side as he shakes his head, rubbing at his bridge bone with thumb and forefinger, trying to fumble around words that're jumbled and low, growled forth from some chugging organ going either too fast or too slow. You both heard the noise he made, and there's a tension in the air now—dense… heavy, like fondant.

You ignore the tickle in your lower belly as you stand there, glancing from his profile to the hand against your stomach that dared touch him without asking.

"I'm sorry-"

"That wasn't-"

You both say at once, then stumble over words again a second time, talking over each other until Carmy faces you. Your spine hits the counter edge as he steps toward you, seemingly unconsciously boxing you into the little corner where the sink meets the stove, his palms raised like someone begging a wild animal not to strike.

'I was just gonna say-'

'It's okay-you go first-'

"Fuck ," he curses.

He's so close it's nearly sweltering—just a ball of energy fraught with tension and a stiff upper lip. Carmy moves closer, eyes lidded and moist, but realizes the predicament you're in almost immediately and starts to lean away just as fast, but it's that knowing hesitation in his heavy gaze that has you reaching forward, hands on his hips to tug him in… closer… until your pelvises meet with a dual exhale; one ragged, one desperate.

And yes, he's hard… very hard… and-

"What're you doing?" Carmy asks, his husky Chicago drawl deep and throaty. He's so close his heated breath moistens your lips, drawing out your tongue to lick the tickle of it away. His eyes dart down to the motion, lingering there… all hooded and dreamy. You wonder if his lips taste as good as the scones… or even better.

"This really happening?" It's the way he asks it as if someone like Carmy's never had his dick pinned against someone before—as if your both a couple of teens discovering the longing trepidation of sex for the first time, and not jaded adults with baggage.

"Seems that way," you whisper as if to a skittish animal, rubbing your thumbs into the muscled trench between his hip and abdomen where a thin layer of fat gives under your circling touch.

Carmy puffs out a 'fuck’  against your lips and swallows thick enough that it clicks in his quiet apartment.

Your fingers walk up his sides where his muscles stiffen and flex, sliding your palms beneath his shoulder blades as he sinks into you, chest against chest. Your foreheads touch, and Carmy lays his broad palms on the countertop by your sides. His biceps bulge—his tattoos mix with the topography of standing veins beneath the skin, and you tug him closer until his nose pushes into yours and your nipples harden against his hammering heat.

"You want me to stop?" You ask half-breathless, almost tasting his breath as he starts to pant; basil with the berry butter from your scones, and it's nearly strong enough you can picture him chewing on a leaf while cooking the sauce before you arrived…

He gives you a barely there shake of the head, nudging your nose tenderly. "Naw… no. No , this is good . I like this ."

"Good boy." You smirk as his shuddering exhale rushes down your face.

It's a simple tilt upward, just an inch, and you're kissing him. A simple press of lips that's soft and yielding. Carmy inhales as your lips part, pecking once… twice… then wetting it with a careful tongue flick. He's clumsy, and your teeth click together, but after a few moments, a natural rhythm of tilted kisses and quiet, moist latches of lips fills the little kitchen. And he's so warm and loving, all herbs overflowing and something incredibly intimate as if you're being let in on a secret… or beckoned into a place untouched.

You sigh, making a weak little whimper of 'Carmy'  that makes your face heat up, but Carmy presses his hips in and up, groaning your own name into your mouth. A throng of pleasure shoots down your stomach, rubbing sparks of friction into your breasts and outward, through your arms until your's covered in goosebumps. It's like a light switch—that sound… this contact… the way he groans out your name and cups your lower back in one broad, firm hand.

Suddenly your fingers are in the curls at his nape, weaving through damp strands until you get a good grip and tug him to the side, planting messy kisses across his cheek to his jaw, licking at the pulse point an inch beneath. His moans and weak little sounds of overstimulation only fuel the fire below, just bubbling beneath where you can feel his hard cock rubbing into your lower belly. It's been a long time since you've been this wet…

"Okay… alright ," he grunts, seemingly making some internal decision out loud as your teeth scrape down, lips plucking between his neck and shoulder until he shivers. 

Rigid fingers dent in your waist, clutching tight, then… without warning, you're lifted and planted on the skinny counter, fumbling at his shoulders and biting your lip hard at the determined look in his baby blues. His body slots flawlessly between your thighs, sides skimming thin elastic to press his abdomen against the gusset of your damp leggings.

"God," you whine, feeling happily featherbrained as you shift and grind against his hard stomach, squeezing his shoulders in time with each rock back and forth.

"You good, baby?" Carmy asks, looking more or less like he's gonna rupture. It's hot and flattering, and you want whatever's gonna happen, even if it's not the smartest thing in the world: being set on Carmy's counter like an entree. Seriously, though, life is too short to care about right and wrong, at least right now.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, good."

As you mill against one another haphazardly, his palms ease up your hips, fingers in the hem of your leggings. You're too dazed to second guess it—that you might not be ready for this so soon. Instead, you lift your ass off the counter, letting Carmy yank your leggings down your thighs and off your feet, along with your sneakers, leaving you in your socks and an oversized sweater… no fucking underwear… nothing to hide behind when he drops to his knees and shoves your legs apart. 

Jesus Christ on the cross… is he gonna-

His breathing bathes your wet folds, adding more heat. "I uh , I don't-don't have a system for this."

"For-fuck… " you squeak as two fingers—S  and O —stroke down the line of your dripping pussy. "F-for what?"

"Sex. Women. I can, ya know… I can simmer a consommé just listening to it… but this-this is… fuck ."

His eyes narrow, thumbs stroking down your outer labia with trembling grace. "You're wet?" It's a question, even though it's painfully obvious.

"Umm…  yeah. A bit." It's an understatement, but your aptitude for words is less than stellar, given how your pulse centers in your clit and another leak of moisture slides down between your cheeks. 

"You smell nice. Like-like rain and… apples."

You blush, feeling both mortified and turned on. It's been a long time since anyone's been on their knees for you, never like this. Carmy looks like he's never seen a pussy up close, and it… does things to you. 

Carmy blinks slowly, pupils dilated black like ink drops expanding in a lazy morning lake. His fingers trace again, from soft mons to perineum. You swallow a whimper, marveling down the hills of your wrinkled sweater at his tentative touches, then hiss as he scissors those fingers open, spreading your inner lips. The cool air hits where you're the hottest… sending a chill down your spine.

"If you, umm—fuck, you're dripping …" He seems momentarily distracted, then looks back up. "I mean, if you don't wanna do this, just… please. Tell me to stop. Okay?"

Lip-quivering, you nod.

"Okay. Good," Carmy says, raw-sounding, "Good."

A knife-inked hand smooths up your inner thigh, pressing you further apart. Your eyes flicker to the back of it, finally realizing that the kitchen knife isn't being cradled but is piercing the pigmented palm. Self-inflicted harm via dedication to desire,  you think, wondering if everyone lets their passions hurt them one way or another. 

The flower on the other turns, palm up, and Carmy brings his pointer finger to his mouth and sucks on it. His cheeks hollow a second before his finger's coated in spit, pressing back and pushing knuckle-deep inside you with a grunt that nearly dies beneath the sharp moan you loosen.

It just… it feels so good to be filled, even by just one of his thick fingers.

"Tight," he gapes, "... hot—real hot. When's the last time anyone's been here." It's said more like a spoken thought than a question, which is good… cause you can't remember the last time. Maybe that's why you're melting from the barest stretch, or perhaps that's just Carmy…

The wet, squelch of sound as he withdraws and corkscrews a little deeper has you panting, squirming, and bending a knee up, planting your socked foot on his shoulder.

"Carmy…"

His eyes flutter upwards, catching your gaze with sleepy desire—something almost innocent if it weren't for everything that preceded this. So much for not hooking up with guys from Al-Anon…  though, you could end it now… it doesn't have to go this far…

"Just let me know if I gotta change anything. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, okay?"

'Just wanna taste you a bit… Smells so good. Salty… sweet. Acidic.'

Before you can tell him to stop—to make up some reason for ending whatever this is—Carmy leans in, eyes hooded, tongue pressed against his bottom teeth, and your heart skips a happy beat.

"… fuck me," you sob as Carmy noses your clit and licks a flat stripe from bottom to top.

He's reminded of applesauce with a sprinkle of salt. One of his favorites as a kid; it was simple n' sweet; she's diluted by a savory flavor that's unlike anything he's sampled before. Countless dishes, various ethnicities. He thinks this might be his favorite, from Chicago bar food to twenty-four-step French cuisine and all the flavors in between. 

A few licks in, and the sticky slick gluing her folds together comes away, exploding his taste buds with the full brunt of her. She's good—really fuckin' good —and with each exploratory nibble, her moans relax his nerves… 

With each clench of her cunt around his finger, his cock throbs. 

He's never been here in person, never had the time or the drive, but he's read enough… seen enough… so the basics come naturally. Sorta . 

Carmy traces her clit with a soft tongue until she's as soaked with spit as she is herself and then pulls up on the light chub over her clit, exposing the swollen bulb for a soft suck. His finger slides back, sweeping all that mess to lubricate the slow press of middle and pointer, feeling the way she shudders, stretching open with a gasp.

"Jesus, Carmy…"

The way she says his name makes his fingers curl into her, feeling for that spongy spot he's heard about. Carmy scrapes it with his blunted nails, her pussy grinding into his mouth, proof he got it right… then makes tight circles against it while tonguing her clit.

"Yes'yes… yes!"

Her fingers delve into his hair. Nails skim his scalp. The sauce on the stove goes cold, but he couldn't give less of a shit.

Fuck…

Carmy flicks the bud inside his mouth and loses a few strands in the process, savoring the burn as she yanks on his curls, drawing him closer, his lips mashed against her silky flesh, his fingers digging harder until he can hear the wet slurp as her walls suck his fingers back in with each thrust.

"… like that," she sighs, "… yeah , just-just like that."

He leans in, stretching up through his knees that are aching on the tile floor, and makes a moist, sloppy sound as he eats her out like he's fucking starving… and he is. Carmy hasn't eaten for years and decades and can't get enough. Her flavors are robust and sweet, artful currents of sweat, umami, and fragrant honey.

"Jesus fucking—fuck…  Carmy…” 

Yeah , he wants to grin and say something clever—something that might get him a whack on the head, but he won't remove his mouth. Can't tear himself away. She's too delicious. His forearm tenses, fucking his digits in and out by the elbow, bicep going hard with the effort to keep it precise and fluid. A few seconds later, moisture starts running down his wrist.

"Oh , god. Yes !" It's a hiss and another squeeze of his hair, tugging follicles loose.

Carmy runs wet kisses down her pussy, licks her from where his fingers jackknife, then back up to her swollen clit, sucking up that wet bundle until her thighs are shaking around his jaw. Then he shoves a third finger in without thinking… cause—fuck —she's just as tight and wet and hot as in his dream. Better.

She quivers and moans and says something so fuckin' filthy about how no one's made her feel this way, sobbing confessions that have Carmy shuddering, feeling like a single brush of his hand'll make him cum.

Eventually, his jaw starts to ache—bursitis in his shoulder acting up—but her fingers are locked on his crown, and he can feel the twitch of muscles in her inner thighs, one calloused palm rubbing up and down its smooth expanse, gliding from knee up around her leg to her naked hip. 

Carmy grabs her tight and jerks her until she's balancing off the countertop's edge, speared on his fingers… nearly dangling over his open mouth. Her startled sound goes right to his dick, almost making it spit right then and there.

"Please-please…  don't… stop…" she begs weakly.

"Help me out here," he murmurs against her pussy, nose pressed to her clit as his tongue picks up the slick from her stretched entrance that grips his pumping fingers, "… show me where ya want me."

She maneuvers him quickly by the hair, whimpering as his aching tongue moves with him. The bump of her clit makes him groan, kiss and suck and swirl until her head smacks back against the cabinets.

"I'm gonna cum, Carmy… holy fuck. "

"Good," he wheezes, then pulls back the swollen hood with his thumb again to focus on the bare nerve. He's gonna make her cum, and has to—wants to—needs to fucking do it, or Carmy'll just…

'No one's ever… oh, fuck… ever—your fucking tongue… your fingers… yes...'

Carmy starts making letters over her clit. Some bullshit magazine said to draw ABCs, so he begins with that, then numbers, counting out repeating receipts and tables until he's making as much noise as she is… until her thighs lock around his head and warmth flows like a savory glaze over his chin and forearm, dripping down his neck… off his elbow.

A guttural sound rips above him as if he just… Jesus Christ, is she really cumming?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…"  and then an utterly wrecked curse sobs out—a noise that has him saying the word back, tongue between her leaking folds. 

"Fuck…"

Carmy's reaching down his own stomach as he licks her orgasm up, feeling her contracting around his handiwork, but before he can get those drenched fingers under his sweats, she's yanking him up by the hair. He stumbles up to his knees, face covered in her from nose to throat-apple, and startles as she throws her arms around his neck and kisses him raw.

Her hips rock down into his lap, and Carmy hisses against her lips, palm trapped against her molten cunt and his clothed erection.

"Carmy," she breathes between kisses, "let me," another kiss and lick over his teeth, "return the favor. Please ."

The teenager in him is jumping for joy on his old single bed like a loser, but the grown-ass man whose never gotten this far is overstimulated. Carmy trembles, pulling his hand free from against her pussy and his hard-on. He slides his palm around her face instead, tilting his head—his lips—kissing her deeply with a tongue lapping at her own. He just needs a minute to calm down… or several… but an arm slides off his shoulder, and fingers sweep down his stomach. Carmy gets one gasp of air before soft, slim fingers ease down his waistband and-

Fuck.  He can't help it. He's gonna cum. Can't hold it anymore—can't fuckin' stop it!

"Fffffuughhhk… " It sounds pathetic, but it's all he can get out when she thumbs his sticky slit, fingers gripping the head and cap. His balls pull taut—tight as his stomach—feeling that hot surge through his cock. Carmy drops his forehead into her shoulder, smelling the overwhelming fragrance of apple orchards in the summer heat with crisp sweat, and humps her tight fist until he's cumming in heavy spurts between her thighs… all over her naked, exquisite pussy... 

"Ffffuck…" He hisses again, then chokes on his own spit as he tries to breathe through the wrecking ball of pleasure. Gotta be ten times better than what he woke up to this morning… one-hundred times better than he'd ever thought… and he'd been missing out on this shit all this time?

A cold shiver of reality flows down his back as her voice teases. "Did you just-"

Blow a load on your cunt? Yeah…

"Fuck —fuck-fuck…" Carmy groans into her neck, pulling back to look at the strings of creamy fluid sliding down her swollen, glistening folds. "I didn't mean-didn't mean to… shit… " 

He starts stuttering, watching his cherry-colored cock begin softening in her palm as his face turns beet red, embarrassed, and high as fuck from the bullet of bliss. So, so fucking good… but too, too fuckin' fast.

"I'm sorry," he says eventually, unable to take his eyes off the mess he made, imagining he just added a layer of heated frosting to a slice of gooey apple pie…

As a dollop of cum hits the floor, Carmy realizes she's not saying anything. He looks up finally, cautious, with a stone of syrupy dread in his stomach. She's just sitting on the counter with her fingers still around his flaccid cock, eyes glinting.

That anxiety of a lunch rush—the dread of fucking up a sauce—gets him under the ribs, and Carmy starts to panic. "Sorry, I just—it's been a while and… umm…  it's been-"

A kiss warms his temple. "Shhh … and take a breath, Carmy."

He does. He takes several big lungfuls, and when she tells him to go slower on the exhale, he does that too. Over and over again until he can feel the circles she's massaging into his chest.

"So, why are you sorry?"

"I dunno," he says, all raw and sleepy, leaning his weight into her, between her legs. The hem of his shirt sticks to her drenched cunt, but he doesn't mind, "… spose to last longer, right? Kinda just fucked that up."

"It's pretty flattering… I mean, you making me breakfast spaghetti, then eating me out and being so good at it…"

Carmy's chest flutters with pride, a rare and delicate thing.

"... then you cum before I can get my mouth around you… as if you-you enjoyed that… a lot. No one's ever been so… so happy to do that to me before."

"I did. I like it… liked it a lot. Kinda wanna… would you, uh…  like to do it again," he says and asks it like he's green, which, when it comes to this shit, he is. But she just smiles and noses his cheekbone, lips skimming across his stubble to peck his lips gently.

"How about we eat some real food first?"

"I just did." It comes out without thought. Kinda slick, actually.  Michael woulda been proud, and Cousin… that fucker woulda laughed. She laughs too, but it's breathy and sweet, and Carmy finds himself smiling, dimples and all. 

He eventually changes sweats for black jeans; empty plates for sauced noodles, far too soft but delicious. Carmy shares breakfast with her on the sofa… watching a black-and-white musical from the fifties that reminds him of nothing he's ever felt. She won't shut up about how good it tastes, and while it's nothing up to Carmy's standards, he's flattered… maybe more than when he first read that article in Eater…  maybe more than the first and last time Michael complimented his grilled cheese as a kid. 

Either way, Carmy thinks he loves her, and stupidly, he tells her.

AO3 Link: HERE

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #the bear #the bear and the baker

[fandom-hoarder]

Grabbing these tags by @deanwinchesterpregnant from this post to expand.

Because yes, this is a very important part! Sam says it, too!

And while there ARE Sam haters that will say "Sam doesn't know how much Dean sacrificed!" and mean it as a JUDGEMENT and omg wooby!Dean; there are also people like me, who started writing s1 Sam POVs to understand him better, and suddenly connected him to my little brother like, 'OH. Sam doesn't KNOW. How COULD he know??😭' and it's not a judgment of his character or his love for Dean! And he's not stupid! They're both just kids who have yet to work through their own shit enough to realize they don't know EVERYTHING about each other, despite their shared history. It's part of why Sam says in In My Time of Dying that they were "just starting to be brothers again."

Obviously it's a necessary part of s1 to give us, the viewer, expositional glimpses into Sam and Dean's inner workings. But the way they each react to certain new revelations about each other are still canon even if there are Doylist reasons.

It's canon that Sam didn't know Dean carried him out of the fire. It's canon that Dean has felt responsible for Sam almost being eaten by a shtriga since he was 9/10 years old, and it's canon that Sam never even knew that happened. It's canon that the memory of Mary was so coveted by Dean and John that Sam has virtually no connection to her; no stories and no echoes of her in the way they live other than the infamous Winchester Surprise.

It's canon that Sam doesn't really have any happy holiday memories, and Dean does. It's canon that their perspective on the same shared holidays is completely different. It's canon that Dean stole Christmas decorations and presents for Sam and apparently none for himself. And it's canon that Sam realized Dean did that for him and gave him his only present. And it's canon that remembering that made grown-up Sam want to give Dean Christmas even though it meant admitting something hurtful to himself. (John not showing up for Christmas/Dean's last Christmas)

If you put yourself in Sam's shoes--- a kid left alone for most of his formative years; unable to put down roots and make friends; whose best friend, the only one who could even try to understand him, is his good little soldier brother--- it's easier to understand why Sam felt lonely and became a much more introspective person. Because he was literally stuck with just his thoughts and anxieties and the TV for days at a time. When you think about how sick he must've been about it, every time Dean and John would leave. Waiting for that next phone call. Biting his fingernails when the call was late. Wanting to be invited to prove yourself, but also because if you're THERE at least you KNOW what happens.

But then, too, if you can put yourself in Dean's place: it's not necessarily something a kid or young adult can fully appreciate--- especially a somewhat emotionally immature young adult--- that their little sibling is a completely autonomous person with their own inner life. They don't just pause when you leave their sight. Dean throws himself into the hunt, and isn't thinking about how much Sam is worrying about them. He's thinking, "Sam is safe, so I can focus on backing Dad up."

It sounds selfish, but it's simply a fact of the maturing brain that it takes some time to comprehend someone else's existence outside of you as a real thing and not just a vague concept.

So, to touch on another aspect that gets discoursed:

There ARE a lot of things about Dean's parentification that Sam doesn't know at first, but he has always known about it to SOME degree. He had his own perspective on it, and for sure I wouldn't say that Sam thought of Dean as his parent. Dean has definitely always been his older and somewhat overbearing big brother. But who do you think Sam took his problems to? Who threatens to rip his bully's lungs out in After School Special? Who remembers what fucking play Sam did in drama?

And a short related aside--- thinking about how Sam was surprised about the things of his John had in storage. His surprise that John kept an eye on him at Stanford. And relating these things that changed Sam's understanding of his father, to the way his understanding of Dean shifted with each revelation of what Dean had done for him. And despite everything Sam ALREADY knew, his adult brain and life experiences gave him new perspective on things.

This maybe is a little rambley, but oh well. What was I saying...

Oh yeah. So sometimes people get upset about Dean being given like. More praise than he deserves or something, by having those "you practically raised me" lines and things. As if it's a retcon. But it's really not.

It's Sam growing up, and his brain constantly taking in new information and reshaping his understanding. It's Sam seeing how much Dean blames himself for things that weren't his fault, and wanting Dean to see the good he's done. It's Sam being able to see Dean's heart underneath his codependent or selfish decisions, and reaching out. It's Sam trying to remind Dean he can lean on Sam, too.

I've gone off on a tangent and made myself tear up lol. I don't remember where I wanted to end up anymore. Somewhere in the ether there's another rant about how Dean has a harder time allowing himself the introspection on his perception of Sam, and how this leads to Sam having to do a lot of the leading on the emotional maturity of their relationship, and how hard this is when the person you're leading still sees you as their kid, in whatever capacity.

But ultimately, of COURSE Sam does as much for Dean. Of course Sam has agency in this and isn't Dean's baby that had a pampered childhood vs Dean's horrible one. Sam and Dean acknowledging the actual circumstances of their childhood dynamic doesn't have to be a Samgirls vs Deangirls fucking situation lol.

#me.txt #my replies #sam n dean commentary #Dean's parentification #parentified!dean #fandom discourse #peer review #related posts #sam winchester commentary #dean winchester commentary

[thelovelybitten]

random loonatics unleashed hcs bc I like childhood comfort show binging

only elites watched loonatics unleashed—so for the ATOM SIZED community who still gaf abt this gem here’s some random hcs I thought of

ACE BUNNY

[+] confident, determined, loving

[-] stubborn, cynical, impulsive

since he’s like. the most heroic MF known to acmetropolis, overconfidence is his thing. sometimes it goes too far and people have to smack some sense into him (lexi & tech, most likely) and y’all thought duck was cocky… ace is cocky and smart vs duck is cocky and dumb.

i imagine he has some sort of cooling eye drops he puts in after battles or over usage of his laser vision.

may wear glasses if needed.

he defo has underlying anxiety about his leader position since he’s basically in charge of the universe and his teammates he considers his family. (he confides in lexi with this eventually)

on a similar note, since he feels the pressure of being the leader, he suppresses his emotions all the time until lexi finds out and they teach each other to heal :’)))))

as much as he and duck annoy the fuck out of each other, they complement each other in the sense that ace needs comedic relief and duck supplies it (bratty ass little brother things)

anime STANNNN. anything that’s got good lore—He and Tech love sword art online. they hook in rev and slam in the second season. he and slam like attack on titan FOR SURE.

duck gives ace social media tips (because ace loves the attention but doesn’t know SHIT ABT creating a following)

japanese culture fascinates him, so he implements traditions and holidays into the loonatics' activities.

stubborn as fuck, it’s his way or the highway. since zadavia has always put him in charge, it's hard for him not to boss people around when he's unable to help. (as seen in s1 ep6)

since in the show it’s hinted all the loonatics are in university, I have ace being the second oldest child. he’s a natural-born leader, but still can’t take certain things seriously. tech is a good influence on him.

LEXI BUNNY

[+] sweet, empathetic, fiesty

[-] emotional, hot-headed, judgemental

she wears noise-cancelling headphones all the time if not needed by others. the absolute peace and quiet she needs to stay sane, tbh

the amount of radio traffic and minds around her causes headaches and migraines—but also some paranoia and slight insanity since she can’t take all of these mind voices all at once. she receives medicine after years of putting it off/testing due to her super powered dna

^^ tech is the one who finds her crying and screaming and he takes care of her until she tells everyone else.

also to touch on that, tech creates wrist bands that lexi can put on. they are supposed to cancel any brain waves or mind reading for a certain amount of time (but not forever, as she is super powered and it’s still a wip for him). (she also needs her powers to protect planet blanc)

actually hates carrots of any sort (minus carrot cake, she would die w/o it) ace thinks she’s crazy.

“can you read this person’s mind” is her biggest gripe and she hates when anyone asks her to do so

due to her upbringing, she hates mean girls and anyone who isn’t a girls girl gets to have a not so nice convo with her.

she’s very social savvy and is always in the newest trends, she hates how self conscious she is but funnily enough she and duck relate to one another and do have shopping sprees and Amazon hauls for therapy 😭

she’d like tiktok but rarely post lol, and when she does her social media pops off

feminist. "oh girls can't be heroes" "girls shouldn't be doing a man's job" SHUT UR TRAP. she will prove u wrong in 1000 different ways.

most popular of the loonatics—she’s the only female.

her age hc I have is she’s third oldest. which kinda leans into my duck/lexi hcs but that’s in another post

TECH E COYOTE

[+] intelligent, punctual, organized

[-] uptight, perfectionist, egotistical

perfectionist syndrome we LOVE HER

he’s so father type (big brother to all of the loonatics, everyone relies on him imo) Ace is the leader, but Tech is the dad 🤪

since he and mallory (mastermind’s) huge falling out, he has a people pleasing complex. this is because he feels guilty about putting her in jail as she is his protégée but knowing what he did was for the best makes him uneasy. so not only does everything have to be perfect, he has a hard time saying no to prevent conflict.

that being said, when it comes to danger and safety he’s gonna put his foot down.

he absolutely loves tinkering with rev. the two of them share one braincell, though. call them thing one and thing two. they’re smart. but not together 😅

while tech likes…well…technology, I feel like he’d also like forensics too. And watching crime shows with Ace and Rev.

he also has a bit of an ego. mostly bc he’s the creator and manager of all the technology in blanc. (And the universe, maybe. at least blanc and acmetropolis.)

has some sort of side gig going on for sponsorships. i hc that he loves to help create new technology, but he'd also like to provide said ideas to companies, kingdoms, etc. usually has the loonatics branding on it.

when his powers upgraded, he had a bit of trouble controlling it to the point where their new HQ had electrical issues for a month. yay metal but also oopsies I can create electrical currents and it’s a lot

the idea of him being immortal due to his regeneration abilities scares him because his friends will eventually die off and he will remain on his own :( (if i had to think about this, so do u.)

very protective of his stuff, and his family. this is not debatable.

he tries to hide itttt but he loves kids. he likes to surprise them with things he makes and teaches them how to build objects (with lego, of course. ain't no way is he letting any cheeto-dusted fingers come in contact with his shit.)

he’s the oldest loonatic NO QUESTION.

REV RUNNER

[+] energetic, comedic, caring

[-] oblivious, childish, sporadic

he’s so baby boy. a child. I love him so.

adhd brain on TOP

fears rejection, but works on it with lexi helping him out

I think he’d also play league with lexi and ace.

he loves running around fast, obviously but he also likes to stop and enjoy views when he can. (Defo uses the wormholes to escape to sunny places.)

definitely has lists to keep himself organized (and slam, which he is blessed for)

likes mechanical machinery and modifications (hates detailing though, fuck that)

recites the entire bee movie script to tech to annoy him

relies on zadavia for advice frequently. she’s a mother to him and she gives him hugs :))))

knows the best spots in the universe for anything ever, (thanks internal gps)

may the lord bless him bc he loves his brother so so so much that he'd do anything for him. rip is always welcome at hq and they play games/invent shit together :)

would pull pranks on all of the loonatics and he’d get away with it (but duck sees right through him—helps him anyways) since it's shown in season 1, episode 6 that ace and rev like to watch sports/attend games, they'd love other ones that are hockey, basketball and football-oriented. (since this is the future and all, the sport they play in this episode is based on soccer anyway) duck is also part of this too.

the metabolism popped off this man can EAT. since he's already burning it off. He's unlike slam though—he eats at a regular speed due to conversation-making.

youngest loonatic.

SLAM TASMANIAN

[+] strong, resilient, comforting

[+] aggressive, uncontrolled, moody

has a hard time with expressing himself due to the language barrier b/w him and the civilians.

good news tho, rev and duck help him to learn english :DDD they get him to read a ton of things (rev with different books while duck just shows him magazines with him as the street model LMFAO, also trends and stuff.)

has an action figure collection that if touched, a tornado will destroy your room. (he had them before the meteor hit, as a coping mechanism from all the fighting he did)

obvi fave food is pizza, specifically meat lovers

gets into origami to control his mind. lexi loves doing this w him :)

tech and slam love to do weapon tests together bc slam is BEEFY and withstands more injury than people think.

ace and slam train together the most. it helps both of them with tiny/large targets.

desperately wants a cat, a kitten, something cat related… but ace says no all the time bc it serves “as a distraction” from their job (ace is delulu ignore him)

a chef. amazing in the kitchen. cooks all the food for the house. a WHOLESOME MAN. watches the food network LMAO

gives the best hugs.

VERY BROTHER BEAR VIBES, he'll tell someone straight up to NOT FUCK W HIS FAMILY. just DON'T.

third youngest loonatic but acts older

DANGER DUCK

[+] loyal, self-aware, amusing

[-] arrogant, overbearing, hypocritical

u know this man is one of the ✨g w o r l s ✨

he attends drag shows with rev and lexi (DID I STUTTER ??? I think not.)

he doesn’t give a FUCK this man will do what he wants, when he wants, for as long as he wants. (until ace or zadavia gives him shit, whoever comes first) attention-seeker, but rightfully so as he is very much overshadowed by all of his teammates, when in reality he is the strongest and most deadly loonatic. i mean think abt it. he has three powers. the most out of all the loonatics. ace has laser vision. lexi has telepathy. tech can manipulate metallic objects and regenerate. rev has super speed and is a human gps. slam can create storms/tornados. DUCK HAS THE POWER TO CREATE HOT LAVA ORBS (EGGS), MANIPULATE WATER, AND TELEPORT. u see the vision???

it also doesn't help when zadavia is always shitting on him for his character. in her defense, he is a superhero and should be a good influence and in a professional manner, when in his defense, he should at least be praised and acknowledged for the work he puts in...js.

TAKES HIS TRAINING SERIOUSLY EVEN IF HE USES IT AS A VIDEO GAME SIM— HE'S ON IT IN SECONDS.

he does get a bit depressed abt the whole overshadowing thing sometimes. but he's so cocky that he hypes himself up and forgets it ever happened.

HIS APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING TO HIM, which is why he and lexi hang out a lot when lexi is in need of a break. THEY LOVE THE SALON.

he helps the men eventually with tinder profiles so they can get out there and find romance and shit (but not lexi, since she knows she can get whoever she wants) he's pretty successful at it too.

BOARD GAME CHAMPION. BACK-TO-BACK MAY I ADD. Slam hates it bc he almost clutches the win but duck suddenly has a trick up his sleeve then BAAM. winner winner pizza dinner. his favourite board game is monopoly. (for obvious reasons, mans' needs to be able to manage his money for future investments.)

if he could be on a version of america's next top model, he would.

might be a sarcastic asshole, but does deeply care about his family, and other beings for that matter ( I mean, s2 ep12 ANYONE ??) tweetums was his everything that WAS HIS SON.

trolls people on club penguin with rev, don't ask, I just know.

blogger typa beat. is the social media editor and influencer for the team.

second youngest, but acts like the youngest LMAO

aaaaand that's it for now, i will make separate hc posts for pairings (platonic and romantic) and obvs the loonatics in general, so stay tuned. :)

if u read this far u THE GOAT >:D

#faves: lu #loonatics unleashed #loonatics unleashed hcs #viv speaks #i love the loonatics and u will never hear the end of it nope not ever #i thought long and hard about these ok #i think i did a pretty good job !!! #but yeah i love my kids sm so take some brain mush #ace bunny #lexi bunny #slam tasmanian #tech e coyote #danger duck #rev runner #MORE SOON

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

How to Heal a Broken Heart

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 957

Summary: you forget it’s Valentine’s Day, but Dieter hasn’t

Warnings: reader has TRAUMA! Hints to past abuse and anxiety attacks but it’s all happy in the end

Check out masterlist here

Valentine’s Day was not a day you scoffed at because it was a frivolous holiday designed to get even more money out of the struggling few, it was a day you dreaded. You dreaded it for reasons few people knew about. Nowadays you would push it from your mind until you completely forgot the so-called holiday existed.

You weren’t paying attention to the date when Dieter asked to come over, so it came as a complete surprise to you when you opened the door to come face to face with a dozen red roses.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

It was then you saw black.

You were being pulled into that dark place where it felt like the walls were crushing in on you. All you could hear was the beating of your rapid heartbeat, the struggle to breathe.

A thousand pins were being stabbed through your body.

This is how final girls feel in their darkest moment and you could always relate to them.

You weren’t sure how long you were trapped until a distant voice slowly brought you back.

“Honey cakes? Can you hear me?”

You felt a warmth on your knee.

The pins were being removed.

“Can you look around and tell me five things you can see?”

“What?”

“Look for five things to tell me about.”

You didn’t realise you were sitting on the floor. You looked around you.

“I can see the front door, my feet, your hands, my bookcase and the Lament configuration.”

“The what?” you pointed to it on your shelf. “Oh that’s what that’s called?”

He turned back his focus to you, “That’s really good, now tell me four things you can touch.”

You felt around, feeling grounded somehow, “Uh, I can feel the carpet, my shirt, my itchy skin and I can feel your hand.”

“Three things you can hear.”

You could finally hear above the rushing in your head. “I can hear the traffic outside.”

“Two things you can smell.”

“Um,” you sniffed. “I can the lavender room spray and…are you wearing cologne?”

“I sprayed a little on me. Now one thing you can taste.”

“Does snot count?” you didn’t realise you had been crying.

“Yeah, that counts.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” he came and sat beside you. “Can I hug you? Do you want a hug?”

You nodded and he drew you into his warm safe embrace.

“I don’t like Valentine’s Day.”

“I really should have asked.”

“I always had to organise the perfect day and everything had to be perfect and even if everything was perfect there would always be something and if that one thing was off…” the anxiety was coming back.

“I’d hate to ask, but did he ever hit you?”

“No,” you shook your head. “But I wish he did, it would hurt less.”

“Do you want to move to the couch?” you nodded, and he gently helped you get up and led you there, making sure to wrap you up in your orange blanket. “We can watch one of your favourite films if you want?”

“But-” you started to protest but he gently shushed you.

“I’ll cope, I just want you to feel normal again.”

“We can put on a comedy? Tucker and Dale versus Evil. But it’s quite gory.”

“I’ll shut my eyes,” he managed to find it on your bookcase. “Oh hey, Alan Tudyk.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he’s voiced all the greatest characters: Alistair Krei, Duke Weaselton, Tuk Tuk, Toucan and of course, Hei Hei,” you pulled a blank. “The chicken from Moana.”

“He’s voiced a chicken?” you finally laughed, expelling away that last anxious feeling.

He managed to operate the DVD player; he’d been around often enough to learn how to operate it. He sat back next to you with the most apologetic look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I should’ve asked about Valentine’s Day.”

“I forgot it was Valentine’s Day. Normally my defences are so up but lately I’ve felt so safe that I wasn’t paying attention to the date. You’re the least threatening person I know.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me,” you questioned him with a look. “It’s true. You should hear the horrible things people have said about me but maybe not, they weren’t nice.”

Putting your head on his shoulder, you happily watched the film, laughing at all the right places and Dieter mainly closed his eyes when that happened because the funny moments were so gory.

You almost made you feel the opposite of what you were feeling before.

“You feeling better honey cakes?” you nodded. “We could get some garlic bread if you want to feel extra better.”

Now you were feeling so much better.

“I’d love some garlic bread! Can it be cheesy garlic bread?”

“Of course!”

You both got up off the couch, stretching yourself out of the warmth of your orange blanket.

“Wait, didn’t you have some roses?”

“Yeah, but I threw them out.”

“Weren’t they important?”

“You’re important,” He kissed your forehead, the space behind your eyes. The gentle pressure added a reassurance and reminded you that you were here, and you were here with him.

“And maybe someone found a better use for them.”

*****

The man in a quandary: he was in love.

He wanted to ask her out, but he was scared of rejection.

They had good chemistry, but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

He was pacing back and forth for a good hour trying to decide whether he should take that leap and ask her out. Secretly he was asking for a sign.

Suddenly a bouquet of roses fell into his hands.

Literally, it fell into his hands.

Well that was as good a sign as any.

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl @cupcakehp @gswizzsstuff @morallyinept

Films referenced: Hellraiser (1987), Tucker and Dale versus Evil (2010), Big Hero 6 (2014), Zootopia (2016), Moana (2016), Raya and the Last Dragon (2021), Encanto (2022)

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #dieter x honey cakes #love of horror fanfic #love of horror universe #love of horror #dieter bravo #dieter x reader #the bubble netflix #the bubble

[birdclowns]

ty for the tags babes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @paperstorm @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @thisbuildinghasfeelings 💕💕💕💕 and for the previous tags in other games!

I think, to stop an impending whole ass breakdown and so I can get everything holiday-related finished On Time, chapter 8 will be the last one until the new year. there are only 3 (or 4) chapters left, though!! thank u for sticking around mwah

Carlos blinks his eyes rapidly, trying to dispel the darkness that is overtaking his vision. It stays the same; an unending black void, accompanied by a hazy, flickering static. A gust of wind whistles behind him, shivers attacking his body as goosebumps raise on his skin.

He twists his head to look, to see if there’s anything behind him, only to be met with resistance the second he tries to move any other part of his body in the chair – when did he sit down? Has he always been sitting down? There’s nothing touching him. Carlos can’t feel anything tangible binding him down – no pressure on his legs, nothing holding his wrists together. His body remains unmoving despite the way he tries to jerk it around.

His heart rate quickens, anxiety the chaotic booming of a drum in his ears. Numbness prickles at his fingertips, hands trembling when he attempts to bring his arms forward, getting caught on the restraints at his wrists, tied behind his back.

A desperate, terrified whine claws its way out of his throat, warmth prickling at the back of his eyes. He wants to yell for help – yell for someone. Words don’t come out, dying on the tip of his tongue, his lips forming the pleas silently. The tears overflow, the trail of liquid hot on his cheeks, dripping down to his chin. He tucks his head down, twisting his eyes shut, biting back a whimper.

He can’t do anything. He’s useless to his own body.

“We're gonna play a game,” comes a disembodied voice. It echoes around him, piercing through the silence in every direction. Carlos snaps his head up, fruitlessly searching for the source of the words. There's nothing – nobody – here.

tagging; @inflarescent @mooshkat @thebumblecee @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @louis-ii-reyes-strand @carlos-tk @sanjuwrites @inkweedandlizards & you 🫵🫵

#911 lone star fics #fic; your gentle hands are stained with the blood of anothers #jasper writes #ooh i have not been vibing

[ciaossu-imagines]

Same anon who requested the holiday gifts giving ask for Fon, if it’s not too much trouble could you also do it for 707?

It's not too much trouble at all! Though these headcanons come a little bit after the holidays and gift-giving season, I hope you'll enjoy them nonetheless! As always, thanks for the request, my lovely anon!

Okay, Saeyoung is weird when it comes to gifts. He gets excited to be given a gift and he really does feel touched whenever anyone does but he also has some anxiety when it comes to receiving gifts too. Like, he's never sure how to react and he's never sure he feels quite deserving of the gifts. Like, it's really nice to have gotten it but why did someone go out of their way to get him a gift?

It really would stem from the fact that growing up the way he did, Saeyoung definitely did not get gifts given to him. His birthdays and holidays weren't celebrated and by the time they were, he'd already kind of found himself buried in a life that made him feel dirty and kind of like a bad person, working as a hacker and agent.

He gets better about accepting gifts as time does go on but for the most part, I think Saeyoung prefers to be the one giving gifts.

In terms of gifts that Seven likes to get? I think it's the small gifts given just because someone saw something and thought of him, gifts given not just on gift-giving occasions but because the person couldn't not get that for him, that really touches his heart.

I do think he really does prefer practical gifts, things he'll either use and has a need for, or things that show the person really does know him, like getting him something related to his hobbies or interests.

Things for his many cars really makes him happy, no matter how small they are. He has a lot of nerdy hobbies and is really into a couple fandoms and figurines, models, and things related to those fandoms that are gifted to him really mean a lot to him and get displayed pretty prominently.

Getting him his favourite snacks and a case of Dr. Pepper? Also always a welcome gift.

#replies #mystic messenger #mysme #headcanons #saeyoung choi #seven #707

[nerdzzone]

Another Ghost of Christmas Past

Summary: Chris returns to Massachusetts for the holidays after moving to L.A. in search of a successful acting career, but the Madeline he finds seems different than the one he left behind.

Part of the Back To You series

Note: There is some talk of body image issues related to Madeline’s life in the ballet world in this part of the story. I know that is a topic that can be upsetting for many people so please do what’s best for you if that’s something that may bother you!

-----

December 2000

Christmas had always been important to Chris. Spending time with his family with no interruptions or distractions was one of his favourite things in the world and since he’d moved to L.A, the holidays became even more important. He’d been away for far too long as far as he was concerned and spending so much time trying to force his way into an industry that was known for breaking hearts and crushing dreams had him feeling more than ready to have some time back home with the people who knew him best in a place that could offer him a consistent comforting familiarity.

However, it didn’t take him long to realized that something had changed.

The town was the same, his mom and his siblings were the same, the friendly and welcoming attitude of almost everyone he knew was the same. But something about Madeline was different.

When she didn’t respond to the voicemail he’d left on her parents' answering machine announcing his return home, he ignored the nagging feeling in his stomach. She was in the middle of a stretch of performances and he assumed that she was just busy with the show, but when he attended that show with his family on closing night and saw her on stage, the nagging feeling turned into a ball of anxiety as he could tell - even from across the theatre - that she wasn’t herself.

He would never claim to be an expert in anything to do with dancing, but he’d seen Madeline perform enough times to know that she wasn’t at her best. She seemed tired and flat - like all the passion that usually fueled every movement had been sucked out of her - and there were several times when she just looked entirely defeated. He spent more of the show analyzing her behaviour than he did actually following the story, but as he drove home with his family and they all gushed about her performance, Chris doubted himself again. Maybe he was reading too much into things and judging too harshly for someone who’d been away for so many months and hadn’t always been great at staying in touch. He had to admit that he wasn’t very up to date in Madeline’s life anymore and realized that there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for the shift that he’d noticed.

So, later that night he found himself wandering down to his brother’s bedroom to get a more expert opinion, unable to settle without getting some answers.

“Hey,” he leaned through the doorway, knocking to draw Scott’s attention away from the video game he was playing on the tiny TV in the corner of his room. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

The edge of nervous hesitation in Chris’ voice had Scott quickly nodding as he paused his game.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Hopefully nothing,” Chris sighed. “But I was just wondering if everything is okay with Madeline?”

“I think so,” Scott nodded. “I haven’t really seen her much outside of school lately because she’s been so busy with her dance stuff, but she’s seemed fine when I’ve talked to her. Why?”

“Do you think she seemed off tonight? During her performance, it just didn’t seem like she was at the same level that she normally is...”

He’d tried to phrase the question in a way that didn’t sound like he was being harsh, but the snort of laughter that Scott let out had him thinking that he’d missed the mark.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that you picked up a job as a dance critic while you were in L.A,” Scott teased, making Chris’ cheeks tinge pink. “She seemed a little tired, but she’s been rehearsing non-stop for this and it was the last night of a week of performances so I’m not surprised.”

“Yeah? You think that’s all it is?”

“Probably,” Scott shrugged. “But if you’re really worried about it, you can ask her tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“At brunch,” Scott informed him as if it was obvious, rolling his eyes when Chris looked baffled. “Mom told us in the car, we’re going over to Maddie’s for brunch tomorrow to celebrate the closing of her show.”

He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he must have missed that announcement, but he felt a wave of relief that he’d be seeing her soon. Despite Scott’s nonchalant response to his concerns, he couldn’t shake them and he was eager to see for himself that he was just worrying over nothing.

However, when the time came he realized that his concerns might have been more deserved than he was expecting them to be.

Her mother had met them at the door the next morning and after taking a brief moment to chat with her, Chris headed off in search of Madeline. He found her in the kitchen, looking through a cupboard as her dad was busy cooking up what appeared to be enough food to feed an army and he smiled at the sight of her.

“Welcome home, Chris!”

Greg’s shouted greeting pulled his eyes away from his friend, but he noticed as he went to answer that Madeline didn’t even turn away from whatever she was searching for to glance over at him.

“Thanks, it’s good to be back,” Chris smiled as he moved to lean on the island in the middle of the room just behind where Madeline was standing. “And your show was great last night, Maddie. I’m really glad I made it home in time to come.”

He saw Madeline tense before the sound of a cupboard slamming filled the room as she spun around to face him.

“You don’t have to be so patronizing!”

The look of fury in her eyes and the sharp tone of her words had Chris’ eyebrows wrinkling in confusion.

“What?”

“We all know I fucked up last night,” she informed him, the hostility still ringing through clearly in her voice. “Just because you’re living your big Hollywood life now doesn’t mean you have to treat me like a child and sugar coat the truth!”

Without even giving Chris time to process her accusations, Madeline turned on her heel and stormed from the room leaving Chris sitting in stunned silence with his jaw dropped as he fumbled for something to say. With a heavy sigh that did nothing to ease Chris’ anxiety, Greg turned away from what he was frying on the stove to face him.

“Don’t take it personally,” he assured him. “She’s going through something right now. She won’t talk to us about it, but she hasn’t been herself lately.”

While there was a slight feeling of vindication that his instinct had been right, Greg’s admission put him very on edge. Madeline’s parents were her best friends. Not in a sad, lonely way but the Daniels had always been incredibly close and for something to be bothering her that she wasn’t comfortable sharing with her parents, Chris knew it had to be serious and the cloud of worry in Greg’s eyes told him that he’d made that assumption as well.

“Can I go talk to her?”

His question earned a look of surprise from Madeline’s father, but after a moment of hesitation as if he was waiting for Chris to take the words back, he simply shrugged.

“Go right ahead. I hope you have more luck than we’ve had lately.”

Chris nodded and slowly dragged himself towards the door, trying to formulate some kind of strategy to tackle the situation. He hadn’t had much experience being on the receiving end of any frustration from Madeline - usually they were on the same team and always had each other’s backs - but his confusion only grew as he approached her room and could hear the soft sounds of her crying.

Spurred on by her apparent misery, Chris knocked on the door before cracking it open. She was frantically wiping her eyes, trying to hide her upset from the unexpected interruption, but as soon as she saw Chris in the doorway, she crumbled again.

“I’m so sorry, Chris!”

The words left her mouth as a sob and had Chris quickly closing the door behind him as he entered the room before walking over to sit near her on the bed. She was sitting up with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as if she was trying to make herself as small as possible and Chris left some space between them to avoid making her feel crowded.

“It’s okay,” he assured her, keeping his voice soft. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“But I was a bitch,” Madeline reminded him. “You were just trying to be nice and I screamed at you like a lunatic.”

“You were a little bit crazy,” Chris admitted, flashing her a weak smile and feeling a hint of relief when he caught her fighting back one of her own. “But obviously you’re upset about something so I get it. Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Madeline sniffled. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well, you did yell at me downstairs,” he pointed out. “And you didn’t call me back when I left you a message the other day.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy with the show and I’ve been really…stressed.”

Her admission had Chris feeling like she was opening the door to a conversation so he gently pushed her for more information.

“How come?”

“I just am…”

She shrugged nonchalantly, but the emotion in her voice gave her away and Chris knew her well enough to keep trying before she clamped up completely again.

“I really wanna help you, Maddie,” he insisted. “But you’ve gotta give me more to go on then that.”

He watched as she bit her lip as if she was fighting to keep her thoughts from bursting out, but as her eyes filled with a fresh batch of tears she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I’m too fat to be a ballerina.”

If she hadn’t been so distraught, he would have laughed at such an outlandish claim, but the crack in her voice and her sudden inability to look him in the eye took any humour out of the situation.

“What?” Chris fumbled for words when his shock subsided enough for him to speak. “Says who?!”

“The choreographer for the Nutcracker,” she admitted. “And he’s a professional, he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Clearly not,” Chris scoffed, his jaw tightening as his outrage washed over him. “But he actually said that to you?”

He knew that over the years several of Madeline’s teachers had made comments about the ideal body type of a ballerina that could have been crushing to her self-esteem, but she’d always shrugged it off and never let it get under her skin. The fact that whatever this man had said to her had her so devastated made him almost blindingly angry.

“Not exactly,” she admitted. “But he was picking on me all the time. He kept telling me to ‘tuck my bum in’ which is, like, really hard to do when it just sticks out because it’s big and not because of the angle of your hips. He said that the way I ‘jiggle’ when I dance would distract the audience and in our final rehearsal he said that there was just ‘too much of me’ and I should probably look into another hobby.”

Her voice broke at the end of her sentence as tears streamed steadily down her cheeks which were burning red with embarrassment and Chris knew the pain of that last remark was two-fold for Madeline. Dancing wasn’t a hobby for her - it was her passion, her life and her biggest dream to make it as a professional - and to have someone minimize that to a hobby and therefore suggest she didn’t take it seriously probably hurt her more than anything else he’d said. He’d experienced similar comments as he tried to make his passion into a career and he knew how disheartening it could be. 

However, the rest of the things she’d shared had him filled with a rage that he’d never felt before in his life. His fists clenched as they were twitching to be used and he could feel his temperature rising as if his blood was actually boiling, but he took a deep breath to calm himself as he knew that the broken girl in front of him needed comfort in that moment more than she needed avenging.

“Madeline, you know that’s not true,” he insisted. “No one with a brain would describe you as fat and most of the weight that you do have is muscle.”

“Muscle isn’t always good,” Madeline argued. “I think my butt’s mostly muscle and now that’s a problem.”

Chris shot her an incredulous look as he struggled to wrap his head around what she was saying.

“I know women in L.A. who would pay a lotta money to have an ass like yours,” he informed her, smiling when his comment earned a snort of laughter even if it was half-hearted. “But why have you been puttin’ up with this guy? Why didn’t you tell your parents what’s going on?”

“Because I’ve been trying to fix it myself and I didn’t want anyone to freak out or get all worried.”

Her inability to look him in the eye had returned and it had Chris suddenly feeling nervous about what she was implying.

“Fix it how?”

“I’ve been really careful about what I eat, trying to lose a little weight so I didn’t stand out too much at the show, but it’s been really hard and I’m just really hungry…”

The last word fell from her lips like a whisper and Chris felt his anxiety shooting up again. He knew that it was a delicate situation and one that Madeline needed to be pulled out of before it got any worse, but he felt entirely under qualified to be the one to coach her through it. However, the fact that she’d chosen to confide in him showed that she wanted someone to help her so he fought through the weight of the pressure he was feeling and tried to think of the right thing to say.

“You need to stop that right now, Maddie.” He tried to keep his voice firm, but gentle enough that she wouldn’t feel judged or cornered. He knew how stubborn she could be and he didn’t want her to continue on the path she appeared to be headed down just to spite him. “One of the guys I met in L.A. is a trainer at a gym so I asked him for some tips recently and he said the most important thing is to make sure you eat enough. If you’re working out or exercising, you need to fuel your body and food is that fuel. You’re an athlete, you need that when you’re dancing for seventeen hours a day.”

“I don’t dance for seventeen hours a day.” Madeline rolled her eyes dismissively, but she seemed to take in his words when she spoke again. “But it has been harder to find the energy to dance at all since I changed my diet. I’m so tired all the time.”

“I’m not surprised, this idiot has got it all wrong. You’re good at what you do the way you are now, but you can’t perform at a professional level if you starve yourself until you look like a skeleton.”

“But,” Madeline paused, her lip quivering as she fought back the tears that had resurfaced in her eyes. “What if no one wants to watch me dance if I don’t?”

His heart broke at the genuine look of pain in her eyes. This man had clearly gotten into her head and knowing how much time and energy Madeline had put in to her goal of being a professional ballerina, it wasn’t hard for him to imagine how much she was struggling with the thought of having to torture herself every day if she wanted to achieve her dreams.

“Then it’s not worth it…” He kept his voice soft as he knew that would be a hard thing for her to accept, but he hoped that it was a reminder that would stick in her mind even as he rushed to reassure her. “But that’s bullshit, Madeline. Watching you dance is always special and that’s coming from someone who has pretty much zero interest in going to a ballet.”

Madeline flashed him a weak smile, but any relief that gave him was wiped away when she replied.

“That’s why you’re not a good judge,” she pointed out. “I appreciate your support, but you think I’m good just because you know me, not because you’re looking at it objectively. You can’t see my flaws as well as a stranger can.”

“No, I can’t see your flaws because there aren’t any,” Chris insisted, his temper flaring again slightly at her doubts of his sincerity. “You’re so fucking talented, you’ve been top of your class every year until this one asshole came along and knocked your confidence. You’re gonna rule the ballet world one day, I know it, and you’re going to do it by being yourself, not by hurting yourself to meet the expectation of some dumbass.”

His rant concluded with a huff, but to his surprise Madeline seemed to visibly relax despite his harsh tone.

“You really mean that? You’re not just saying all this because you want to make me feel better? You don’t think I need to lose weight?”

There was a hopefulness to her questions that had Chris thinking that he’d finally gotten through to her and while he was glad that it hadn’t been a difficult process, he wished she’d spoken to someone sooner. Her eagerness to believe him told him that she knew in her heart what was true and all her stress could have been avoided if she’d reached out to someone sooner.

“Of course I mean it, I wouldn’t lie to you, Maddie,” he assured her. “You’re perfect as you are and it’ll only make you a worse dancer if you start obsessing about that.”

“Okay, well after last night I think you’re right about that,” Madeline nodded, wiping the wetness from her eyes. “The things he said were just so humiliating and he’s supposed to be such an expert.”

“Yeah, well, sounds like he’s an idiot,” Chris scoffed as he stood up from the bed and held out a hand. “C’mon, I wanna take you somewhere real quick.”

Madeline’s eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion as she took his hand and let him help her stand up.

“Where?”

“You’ll see.”

“Chris,” she frowned. “I’m a mess, my make-up must be smeared all over my face.”

Her mascara had run and he had to admit it looked a bit distraught, but he was determined.

“Okay, you go wash your face while I get Ma’s car keys and I’ll meet you outside.”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Madeline agreed and Chris shot her a reassuring smile before jogging down the stairs and back into the kitchen. He was greeted by hopefully expectant looks from his mother and Madeline’s parents, but he knew that any information he’d gathered wasn’t his to share and decided to cut to the chase.

“Ma, can I borrow your car?”

Her face fell as it clouded with concern.

“Why? Where are you going?”

“Brunch will be ready in about half an hour,” Greg cut in. “Is everything okay?”

“I think so, I think she’s gonna be fine,” Chris nodded. “And I promise we’ll be back in time for brunch.”

There was an air of nervous confusion lingering in the room, but after exchanging a look with Madeline’s mother that Chris couldn’t quite read, Lisa took her keys out of her purse and held them out to Chris. He reached out to take them from her hand, but she didn’t let go and caught his gaze as she gave him a stern look.

“Is she really okay?” She waited for Chris to nod before she continued. “Take care of her, okay?”

He felt a flash of annoyance at her request because he did always take care of her - Scott was the one who got her into trouble and he was the one who picked up the pieces, it was the way it had always been and he wasn’t about to break that tradition anytime soon - but he knew that they must’ve all been worried about her strange behaviour so he settled for simply nodding his head. Seemingly happy with that reassurance, Lisa let go of her keys and let Chris hurry out the door to meet Madeline.

-

“Where are we going?”

Madeline had been fighting the urge to repeat her earlier unanswered question since they’d got in the car, but after five minutes of driving in silence, she couldn’t fight it any longer.

“You’ll see,” Chris smiled as they turned off the main road. “We’re almost there.”

They didn’t live in a big town and Madeline probably could have tried to puzzle out where their destination was, but with her mind otherwise occupied, she settled for huffing dramatically at Chris as she turned to look out the window. However, moments later when they pulled into a parking lot, she realized where he’d taken her.

Her favourite bakery that was known for their amazing donuts.

“Chris…”

Even she wasn’t sure if her tone was accusatory or grateful, but Chris ignored her either way.

“Just wait here, I’ll be right back.”

When Chris returned to the car with a giant box and a proud smile, Madeline rolled her eyes.

“I’m not eating twelve donuts, Chris.”

“I know you’re not, they’re not all for you,” he chuckled. “But we’re going to eat one now and then take the rest home for everyone else.”

As he opened the box to reveal the beautifully decorated festive donuts inside, Madeline was torn. She found herself almost drooling at the sight of them as her stomach rumbled from the smell, but despite Chris’ earlier reassurances, she still felt a pang of anxiety. She’d spent a month obsessing over her diet and she knew just how many calories and how much sugar there was in those donuts. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff, forced to choose between refusing Chris and jumping off the edge into a world she might not be able to pull herself out of or taking a donut from the box, trusting her gut and walking away from the misery she’d been putting herself through for the last month.

In her heart, she knew the right thing to do. She’d never hated her body. She wasn’t as thin as some of the other dancers, but she’d always liked the way her muscles gave her some extra curves and the genetics that led to her being slightly less flat chested then several girls in her class had never been an issue for her in the past. However, the humiliation and doubt that the choreographer's comments about her body had caused was something she would do anything to never feel again - even if that meant skipping a donut.

But when she saw the look in Chris’ eyes, she was powerless to resist. It was a look of hopefulness, but it was buried under a layer of worry. Knowing how much it would disappoint him and escalate his concern if she turned down what he was offering her, she reached into the box and picked out a donut. Because letting Chris down was the last thing she ever wanted to do.

She could see him visibly relax out of the corner of her eye, but the absolute joy she felt as she bit into the snack in her hands soon became all she could think about. The sweetness, the flavour, the indulgence - it had her completely distracted until she realized she’d finished the entire thing before Chris was even halfway through his own.

“I really needed that,” she sheepishly admitted, wiping a smear of icing off her lip. “Thank you, Chris.”

He waved her off as he swallowed a bite of the sticky treat.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just happy that you told me what was going on.”

“I don’t think I could hold it in much longer. I felt like I was going to explode.”

“I gotta say, I’m surprised you didn’t tell Scott.”

“Are you?” Madeline raised an eyebrow. “I love him, but he can be a little emotional sometimes. He would have panicked and immediately told my parents.”

Chris chuckled as he nodded and took another bite of his donut before he commented.

“Well, I’m surprised you didn’t tell your parents either, they seemed pretty worried.”

A wave of guilt washed over her as she knew that he was right and their worry had only been exacerbated by how horrible she’d been treating them. The stress of hiding her inner turmoil and the irritability of being hungry all of the time had made her short-tempered and snappy and she knew they’d taken the brunt of her delicate emotions.

“I know,” she sighed. “But I didn’t want them to get upset and I knew my dad would be so mad if I told him what the choreographer said. I didn’t want him, like, attacking him or anything.”

“Maybe me and your dad can track him down together because it sounds like he needs someone to teach him a lesson,” Chris practically growled, ignoring Madeline’s firm refusal of that suggestion. “Do you have to work with this guy again?”

“No,” Madeline assured him, insistently shaking her head. “They brought him in from New York so he was just around for this stretch of performances.”

“Good,” Chris huffed, his clenched jaw relaxing slightly at that news. “But you should tell your parents now.”

“Maybe, but I still wouldn’t want them to worry.”

Chris shot her a skeptical look, but Madeline simply shrugged in response and a silence settled between them. She watched as he finished his donut, feeling a mix of gratitude and longing wash over her. She was so glad that he’d returned and thankful - as always - for his support, but knowing that it was temporary and he’d be leaving again soon had her feeling a familiar melancholy sadness that she’d been wallowing in quite a lot since he’d left. He caught her eye as he licked his fingers clean and she flashed him a weak smile.

“I really miss you, Chris,” she admitted. “It’s hard here without you sometimes.”

“I miss you too,” he nodded in agreement. “It’s hard being out there without you guys sometimes too.”

“You’re just saying that,” Madeline teased. “I bet you don’t even have time to think about us at all while you’re living it up in L.A.”

“I’ve been too busy trying to get a job to be ‘living it up’,” Chris scoffed, but after a moment of thought, his eyes lit up. “But I do think about you a lot, I even got you something.”

He shifted his hips to reach into his pocket, but Madeline frowned.

“I thought we all agreed not to get each other presents this year.”

“It’s not a Christmas present,” he assured her, pulling out a bracelet. “It’s a crystal. It’s garnet and it’s supposed to bring you good luck in your career.”

Madeline took the bracelet from him and admired the beauty of the thin black strap and deep red stone and as much as she wanted to crack a joke about L.A. turning him into some kind of mystical hippie, she was too touched by the gesture to say anything that might hurt his feelings.

“Thank you, Chris. That’s really thoughtful and it’s so pretty.”

“I thought you’d like the colour,” Chris smiled proudly. “I was gonna send it before your show, but I had some auditions so I held onto it a little longer than I planned.”

Madeline let out a soft gasp of shock and shot him a look of mock incredulity.

“You stole my good luck?”

“I borrowed it,” Chris clarified with a chuckle. “But I don’t think it works anyway, it didn’t help me very much.”

That admission made Madeline’s smile fall as she often worried about Chris and how he was really doing in his search for success. She knew how passionate he was about acting and she knew how talented he was, but she also knew a lot of passionate, talented people were still crushed by the world of Hollywood and while she believed in Chris wholeheartedly, she couldn’t help but worry that he would get hurt too.

“Your auditions didn’t go well?”

“I thought they did,” Chris shrugged. “But I didn’t hear back from any of them. It’s just the way it goes though, you get pretty used to hearing ‘no’ in the world of acting.”

“Well, they’re going to regret it,” Madeline huffed. “One day you’re going to be the guy that everyone wants to star in their movie and these stupid casting directors will be begging you to work with them.”

“I appreciate your optimism,” he smiled. “But it’s fine, it just motivates me to work even harder.”

The conviction in his voice put Madeline at ease and she shot him a smirk.

“Alright, well, if you ever need me to come set someone straight, you just let me know.”

“Oh, yeah?” Chris raised an eyebrow at that offer. “And how would you do that?”

“I dunno,” Madeline shrugged. “Make some threats, bust some kneecaps? Whatever it takes.”

Chris tossed his head back as he laughed at the idea of tiny little Madeline hurting anyone, but he shook his head as he regained his composure.

“Oh, I see how it is. You’re allowed to bust kneecaps for me, but I’m not allowed to fuck up the asshole who hurt you?”

“Yes,” Madeline nodded, eyeing him suspiciously. “Because the difference is that I’m joking, but I’m not sure that you are.”

“I’m not sure that I am either,” Chris sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t actually do anything reckless however badly he wanted to. “But we should probably get back before we’re late for brunch.”

He passed Madeline the box of donuts to hold as he drove, but she wrinkled her nose at the suggestion.

“Are you sure we have to? I should probably warn you that my dad’s pretty determined to get some charades going later.”

“Warn me?” Chris questioned as he started up the car. “You make it sound like a bad thing, I love charades!”

“Really? Isn’t it just like working for free for you these days?”

“Nah, it’s still fun,” he assured her. “And all my auditions are just really good practice so I’ll be extra prepared to kick your ass.”

His claim had a snort of laughter falling from Madeline’s lips as she rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s nice to see that constant rejection hasn’t broken your competitive spirit at all,” she teased. “But how do you know we won’t be on the same team?”

“Because we won’t be if I get to choose,” he informed her. “You’re an amazing dancer, but I’ve seen your acting skills and they’re not good.”

Madeline let out a scoff of protest as she swatted at his arm, but despite his rude jokes, she had to admit that she was in a much better mood than she’d been in for weeks. The relief of not carrying the weight of her worries all alone was enough to put her at ease, but her time spent with Chris had been a good reminder of what was really important. 

She had so many people who loved her and supported her and whose opinions matter far more than one cruel man who seemed to find joy in breaking her spirit. She’d never been the kind of girl to let people beat her down and as they walked into her house and were greeted by the smell of amazing food and the sounds of an extended family full of love, she found herself feeling more determined than ever to stay true to herself and prove to anyone who doubted her that she could conquer the ballet world without changing at all.

-

Next

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @flowery-mess @flowerjewels@hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st​ @denisemarieangelina @elrw24 @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @trottae17 @annvail​ @rach2602​ @sarahdonald87​ @firephotogrl74​ @ourfinest-hour​ @k-evans-writes​

#chris evans #tw: body image issues #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fic #back to you

[akayna]

9,10, 16,19, 28, 32, 34, 39, 44, 56, 61, 66, 70, 79, 81, 90

Might have gone a wee bit over board

Oh, just a wee bit? You think? 😜 💚

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?

I had on constant rotation three albums in the 6th grade (when I was finally allowed to control music myself on the stereo):

- It's a Small World and Other Disney Songs

- Warning by Green Day

- Sublime (self titled album)

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?

¿Por qué no los dos? Maybe not on the same day, but make it weekend-long affair

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?

My understanding. And also my eyes.

19. Power of invisibility or flight?

Invisibility. Get out of social situations free card?? Yeah, I'll take that please. Also good for gathering chisme.

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

Shitty action movies on Christmas Day.

32. What song is stuck in your head?

Right this moment that would be 'Take a Chance on Me' by ABBA

34. Do you scare easily?

I have become quite jumpy. I didn't used to be.

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?

Squeeze hugs. Semi related note: I can't handle repetitive light touch on me but I like to do it to others. I'll stroke hair, backs, do the thumb thing, etc. Just don't do it back, it hurts my skin.

44. Do you have a favorite quote?

A silly one I made up long ago:

"I am me. Me am I. Am I me? We shall see."

56. Favorite dessert?

Yes, I love dessert. No, I can't pick favorites.

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?

I try not to feel guilty about watching things anymore. I'm also not a huge re-watcher, though I am doing so more often than before. So don't really have an answer here.

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?

Yeah. But like the threshold is high because anxiety. But! I want to do better at it and stop being freaked out about it.

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?

I haven't ever wanted to go to Disneyworld.

79. Do you like surprises?

Depends on the type and the origin! What did you have in mind?

81. What books influenced you most as a child?

Fantasy and sci-fi.

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?

That's a tough question. Uhhh most of them?? Haha. I have been branching out in genre in the last few years, so that's been nice.

#ask #ask game #questions! #having to search for and copy and paste each one into my note app to answer them is a bit of a pain in the ass since i only use mobile #but ill do it #clearly #:p #random shit about me #enjoy!

[ildi-dragonheart]

Yosano & Poe friendship my beloved

just had a burst of imagination and now all i can think of is yosano and poe friendship

they have lil get togethers at poe's place where they drink tea and spill tea (mostly about ranpo, their co-workers, and maybe mushitaro)

they're like a little book club of sorts now because they are besties and poe loves to recommend books to yosano and yosano loves reading the stuff that he recommends her

poe also asks yosano for help when it comes to the medical-related aspects of his book like if a person can die from this kind of wound or how long will it take the body to decompose after murder or something like that

yosano ofc loves to help him out and even suggests ideas that could possibly make the mystery harder for ranpo (but they both know that's impossible)

(lol i can also imagine ranpo being unaware of all that happening and when he does find out he becomes this jealous little baby brat because he just found out that yosano is spending more time with poe than him

"poe-kun invited you for what?!"

"he invited me over for tea."

"for tea?! since when was this??"

"uh...a few weeks after our beef with the guild?"

"WHAT")

yosano is also probably the only other person aside from ranpo who can drag poe out of his house so he can touch grass and get some freaking sunlight, especially when he's really deep into his writing and stuff

like she definitely drags him to go shopping with her

karl didn't really take to yosano early on because he probably found her creepy

but after she gave him some yummy treats during one of her first visits to poe, she became #2 on karl's list of favorite hoomans

(poe's #1 ofc and ranpo's...somewhere on that list surely)

ofc yosano loves karl very much.

i headcanon she has a secret love for really really cute and childish things and fukuzawa, ranpo, and now poe are the only ones who know

(that also kinda makes ranpo jealous cuz "akiko i'm right here-")

yosano can also be a bit really protective of poe given how shy and anxious he can be at times

she definitely became his therapist friend who helps him try to overcome his anxiety

in return poe becomes somewhat of a couples therapist because yosano amd ranpo would come to him to rant about the other when they have an argument or something and they needed to stay away from each other to cool off

poe doesn't get paid enough for that

he has heard things he really regrets hearing and shouldn't have heard

he also wonders why they come to him and not someone else like why-

he doesn't even understand romantic relationships that much but they're his best friends who he helped get together so he can stop suffering while watching them pine for each other so-

aroace poe supremacy

poe gives her so many amazing gifts too like

he definitely gave her a really cool and elegent knife set or something because she told him that her current blades were getting dull and rusty during one of their little tea parties once

and now ranpo has declared a gift war between them and it's really just who can give yosano the better gift on her birthday and any gift giving holidays out there

they both know how to skate and they like skating together during winter and ranpo tags along although he doesn't knwo how to and just ends up slipping and falling over the ice

anw yes poe amd yosano friendships i want more interactions between them like now pls asagiri- i have so much more headcanons for them pls- even if it's in the anthology or in wan fjskdhsj i need more

#bsd #bsd yosano #bsd poe #ranposano #poe and yosano friendship supremacy #bsd headcanons #ildi posts #ildi thoughts

[crookedkingdcms]

ok here’s my thread / plot wishlist (more t.aboo stuff under the read more) bc i need these badly. also pls see my current list of muses here.

muse a is dating muse b’s son/daughter (brownie points if the two have to live with them for whatever reason, or they’re on vacation)

professor catches student watching porn / a live stream during a lecture, and blackmails them

or professor and student matching on tinder bc yolo

college kid who comes home for the holidays / the summer with a bit of a glow up and sort of catches the eye of their neighbour, and becomes obsessed with them (essentially.....the boy next door, kind of)

best man or maid of honour has a very special present for the bride/groom at their bachelor(ette) party

sweet, innocent teacher getting railed over their desk by another teacher / a student’s parent / the janitor

any kind of executive / business person having someone down on their knees for them while they’re in a conference call (or right there in the conference room 👀)

c.ockwarming a priest in the confessional booth while hearing all the pathetic sinners plead for forgiveness

classic glory hole use where they run into each other while leaving and it’s someone they definitely shouldn’t have been doing all that with (any connection works there really)

muse a forgets to lock the door when they go to take the bath and muse b walks in on them in their while they may or may not be touching themselves

just need some gym filth tbh like a girl is stretching or whatever off by herself and gets approached and we can go from there

muse a is muse b’s child that they haven’t seen since they were young, and it doesn’t dawn on them that they might be related until well into their heated make out session

or alternatively muse a has been searching desperately for their birth parent, and has found their information/name/picture/whatever but is having a bunch of anxiety about contacting them, but wait they just matched on tinder?

parent/sibling/other relative uses a dating app to catfish their child/sibling/other relative. it gets pretty heated digitally, and then they finally decide to meet.

any and all free use threads

literally any of the plots above the read more with a taboo connection mixed in thank u

#indie kink rp #indie smut rp #give this a like or send me a message??? #+ it would be great if you had a muse of mine in mind !!! #( wishlist. )

[puppyexpressions]

9 Halloween Dangers for Dogs

PET COSTUMES

Just about everyone loves dogs in costumes. One notable exception? Many dogs. While some dogs will happily play dress up, expect others to be less enthusiastic about that elaborate pirate getup.

Watch for signs of stress or anxiety when dressing your pet in costume. Don’t force him or her to wear it. A simple accessory, such as a bandana or bowtie, can be a nice compromise.”

If your pet tolerates a costume, make sure it doesn’t limit movement, hearing, eyesight, or the ability to eat food or drink water. Avoid any outfits with small parts that could present choking hazards and ensure it’s not too snug or too loose.

CHOCOLATE

In general, Halloween candy and dogs aren’t a great mix. Chocolate in particular contains theobromine, a substance that can be poisonous for dogs.

The main thing to watch out for is the amount of theobromine a dog might eat. The darker the chocolate, the more theobromine. As a rule of thumb, the more bitter the chocolate tastes, the darker it usually is, and therefore the worse it is for dogs.

Signs that your pet may have eaten chocolate include hyper-excitability and anxiousness, seizures, abnormal heart rhythms, rapid breathing, vomiting, and diarrhea, she adds.

If you believe your dog ate candy, call your veterinarian immediately. Raisins can be extremely toxic to pets even in small amounts, so seek emergency care if chocolate-covered raisins go missing.

ARTIFICIAL SWEETNERS

Most pet parents are aware that chocolate can be tricky. But did you know sugar-free candies also pose a risk? Xylitol, a popular no-calorie sweetener, can be dangerous for pets.

Xylitol is a type of sweetener you need to look out for at Halloween time. If ingested, it can cause low blood sugar and possibly injury to the liver if enough is consumed.

Xylitol is commonly found in sugar-free gum, mints, candies, and baked goods. Consult your veterinarian if your pet indulges in any sugar-free treats.

Candy Wrappers and Packaging

Dogs aren’t exactly the most discerning diners. When gobbling down candy, many pups will happily eat the wrappers, which can become lodged in the digestive tract and cause a life-threatening intestinal blockage.

Candy wrappers and packaging become as dangerous as razors when swallowed.

Another sneaky packaging danger? Caramel apple sticks, which can cause choking and blockages.

Signs of an intestinal blockage include vomiting, diarrhea, straining to defecate, refusal to eat, lethargy, and pain when touched. If you think your dog may have swallowed wrappers, apple sticks, or another foreign object, contact your veterinarian.

Trick-or-Treaters

If your community is trick-or-treating this year, keep in mind that the door-to-door tradition is confusing—and potentially stressful—for pets.

Remember, Halloween can be scary for pets because of the amount of people in costumes flooding the neighborhood streets and your home. Keep your pet in a separate room of the house, away from the front door, so they don’t attempt an escape. (This is also a good time to make sure your pets’ ID tags and microchips are up to date!)

Pets with noise-related anxiety are particularly prone to doorbell stress. If your pet struggles with loud noises, talk to your veterinarian about how to keep them more comfortable on Halloween.

Alcohol

If your Halloween celebration includes any boozy brews, keep all glasses and punch bowls out of reach of any four-legged guests. Alcohol is toxic to pets, and sweet holiday cocktails may be particularly interesting to them, warns Flint.

Dogs especially like creamy drinks like White Russians, but some pets will readily drink unattended glasses of beer, wine, and other alcoholic drinks if given the opportunity.

If pets ingest enough alcohol, they can develop symptoms of drunkenness, such as incoordination, sleepiness, weakness, and vomiting. Large ingestions can also cause more dangerous symptoms such as low blood sugar, low body temperature, and changes in heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure.

Glow Sticks

The good news? If your pet bites into a plastic glow stick or piece of glow jewelry, there’s likely nothing to worry about. The popular Halloween accessories aren’t toxic. However, the liquid does taste extremely bitter, which can cause alarming reactions.

Sometimes dogs become upset about the bad taste in their mouths and will run around the house drooling and foaming. 

If you see your pet nibbling at a glow stick, we advise feeding him a tasty snack to help ease the bitter taste. Then take your pet into a dark room—if their fur is glowing, consider a bath so they don’t groom the liquid off.

Pumpkins

Pumpkins are non-toxic to pets, so if your dog indulges in a nibble, there’s nothing to worry about. That said, there are a couple pumpkin predicaments to keep in mind. Enthusiastic chewers may swallow large pieces or even a stem, which could cause a dangerous intestinal blockage, warns Flint.

Additionally, pumpkins past their prime should be disposed of immediately. Very moldy or composted pumpkins can grow molds called tremorgenic mycotoxins. These molds can cause dogs to develop whole body tremors, as well as vomiting and diarrhea.

And of course, never let your pet's paw around a lit jack-o’-lantern.

Decorations

In addition to pumpkins, other Halloween décor can be extremely interesting—and potentially dangerous—to pets. Owners need to watch their pets around festive decorations. Lights and electrical cords can be appealing to pets, so be sure they are unplugged when you’re not home to avoid electrical shock.

Running a creepy sound machine may help create a spookier ambience inside your home, but it could also frighten your animal companions. Skipping them might be best for your dog.

Spider webs are synonymous with Halloween, but you may want to reconsider before draping their artificial counterparts all over your home. Your dog’s head could get caught in one of the openings and he/she may have a hard time breaking free. Those artificial spider webs are also dangerous if they fall on the floor. Dogs are known for chewing anything close by and it could be trouble if they find a spider web within range.

When it comes to dogs, All Hallows’ Eve can be scary. To keep pets safe on Halloween, be mindful of candy, cocktails, decorations, and the night’s hustle and bustle. 

#dogs halloween #Halloween dangers for dogs #dog halloween safety tips

[sneedlier]

Melvinborg Headcannons

(AN:I said I would do it.Theres not many but I might add edit this to add more if I get more ideas.)

Types of headcannons:

General headcannons

Platonic headcannons

Romantic headcannons

General Headcannons

He would take care of Melvin a lot.

Almost as if he's a second dad to him.

Fruit-

But he is.

It would go by He/It pronouns and would be Bisexual.

He would also be trans,female to male.

It would miss his life back in the future.

Mostly the technology as he doesn't have may friends in the future.

Maybe they're George and Harold or people who it met in university but I'll let you guys make up your mind.

He actually may still keep in touch with people back in Elementary.

Melvinborg and Grace Wain (Aka:Erica Wain in the future) would probably be enemies in the future.

I think it would be cause she got into Elitinati Academy and he didn't.

Melvinborg sometimes feels guilty when it sees how innocent younger him is.

He probably did something messed up in his current timeline or during high-school that may make him feel sorry for younger him as he will recreate the mistakes he made.

He wishes it could fix his past mistakes,obviously.

It would have a pet snake.

He would act narcissistic but in reality it would get anxiety on what other people would think of him.

Really dislikes how his robot side looks.

It does give him really cool abilities but feels self-conscious on how it looks.

Platonic Headcannons

Being this man's friend would probably be great.

Expecially if you were very close or knew each other for a long time.

He would do you favors.

I would imagine it would have a small business where he would make investions and you would probably get to test them for him.

As long as if it isn't dangerous,of course.

He may act as if it doesn't care about you but trust me,no matter what it says to you he does.

He would probably invite you to hang out to a café or to walk to a park.

It would love a friend that would compliment his robot side.

Like how cool it looks or how it's able to use it to its advantage.

Depending on your personality,would be it's thoughts on you.

If you were energetic and loud,he may find you annoying and stupid but would get used to you eventually.

If you were like him,Smart and narcissistic it would probably think you were cool and understandable.

If you were more quiet and introverted,he would be surprisingly calm and caring towards you as he relates to being shy awkward around people.

Other than that,he would be a nice person to be friends with.

Romantic Headcannons

He would be so thankful to have you,he thought he would of been single his whole life.

It thought he would of been Aroace.

Well,until it met you.

You would of needed to know him for ages until it would've taken a liking to you as he doesn't like to trust people so easily.

He loves you with all it's heart.

He doesn't mind what gender,race or sexuality you are,in it's eyes you are perfect and deserve more than him.

Tell this secretly self-conscious man you live it,he really needs it. :(

It would make you inventions for you on holidays or birthdays.

Loves to give you hand kisses,cheek kisses,all types of kisses.

As long as it's kissing you,he doesn't mind.

With hugs,he prefers to be the small spooned.

Surprisingly.

It's very touch-starved and doesn't really know how to show affection due to his inexperienced with relationships.

So please spoon him as it would love it.

He would love to have movie night dates where you two just sit in a binge watch random movies.

Trys not to get into arguments with you but when you both do,it would apologise first depending on what you argued about.

Acts all tough and mean on the outside but in reality,is honestly soft and caring once you get to know it.

(AN:Hope you liked these headcannons and if you have any ideas for headcannons,please tell me them do I can add them if you want :] )

#captain underpants #melvinborg #melvin sneedly #headcanon

[chattingwiththelightkeeper]

Welcome to another wonderful work week. For those of us in the States, it will be a short week with the holiday Thursday. Since the holiday season is about to kick into high gear, it is natural to feel stress and anxiety starting to close in. A few ideas to keep in mind on this mentoring Monday and throughout this festive season.

Family does not always mean those to who you are related. Often, especially as we age, family changes from blood relationships to people who we have chosen to bring into our lives. Just because a person is related to us, yes they are family, but the true family is those amazing people we allow access to our most intimate and cherished spaces.

Also, play nice with others. One of those parental wisdom sayings is “If you do not have something nice to say, say nothing”. These words are important since interacting with relatives who have to potential to drive one bonkers. It can be easy to take the bait these scallywags toss and reply with sharp tongues or hurtful words. Endeavor to not react, let the words roll off, and avoid falling into the trap being set. Sometimes family gatherings are like a first date in that it is a best practice to have a safe call handy where texting a friend one word which they know is code to call in five minutes reporting an “emergency” and thus needing to leave. It can be the best thing for mental health to simply say, so sorry but something has come up, it was amazing to see everyone, and have a great holiday season while exciting the toxic waste dump of a gathering.

Now time to touch on a happier thought which is mentorship. It does not matter if it is a mentor that helps in one’s career, or education, even the kinktastic people that help guide the journey through D/S. Developing mentors is an enriching experience and having a D/S lifestyle advice squad benefits everyone who feels that D/S is part of their being.

Lifestyle mentoring, should be done by people who share the same roles, for example, submissives seek out s-type voices and dominants seek out d-type discourse. Avoid those shady folks who hang out their shingle as submissive trainers, teachers, instructors, or “breakers”. These are often folks seeking to prey on new, naive s-types by claiming experience with a willingness to offer “hands-on lessons” but they just want a shiny new toy to play with. These prowlers seek out newbies hoping the fresh-faced s-type will not know better, allowing the submissive to be manipulated in the name of education. There are amazing people on the opposite side of the slash who are more than happy to answer questions, teach, and empower however everyone needs to cultivate a circle of trusted peers on the same side of the slash. It is common to see people searching out advice from the side of the slash they seeking a partner from but rather it is best to seek those guiding thoughts from people in the same role. Quality mentors will challenge you to see new ideas, and methods while respecting the practices unique to you.

Since this is a week where giving thanks can be measured by overeating turkey and desserts while stifling the desire to slap Aunt and Uncle Twattwaffe, who are you thankful for that has served as a mentor, inspiration, or trusted friend? Rather than grab a second piece of pie, take that time to reach out during this Thanksgiving week to say thanks to those magical mentors who impacted your life.