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messy-gemini1 · 9 months

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Imagine dating both Alucard and abridged Alucard

imagine it's just a normal day for the Hellsing Manor. You're doing your normal routine cleaning up the integra's off while She sits at her desk and does her paperwork.

Until Seras barges in, holding Two Alucard's. Your eyes widen and the broom falls from your hands. One had a huge grin on his face, while the other stands there with an irritated look.

"what. the. fuck" is all you can say. The one with the grin seems to smile more you. "ah! now who is this ravishing, little slut" He says, you knew right away he was not your Alucard. He's voice was slightly different and his language that of an immature teenager who just figured out he could curse.

Your Alucard, who seemed to not like the idea of his imposter calling you names, immediately pulls his pistols out. Tone harsh and cold "what did you call my Darling?" He growls. Seras quickly tries to defuse the situation while You and Integra stand there with shocked faces.

______

It took some time to get used to having two Alucard's. apparently, the imposter who you named Card, lost his Y/n before they could have a relationship. That made you slightly sympathetic for him. Alucard did NOT like having another him around, especially someone who was so foul mouthed to you. He slowly grew accustom to it.

Especially when it made you so happy to have two vampires swoon over you and pamper you with kisses early in the morning.

Not to mention the bedroom ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Alucard is soft and gentle, whereas card is brash and rough. You have the best of both worlds in the bedroom, and both are absolutely kings at aftercare. Theyll clean you up, make sure you're comfortable, making you a hot bath or whatever you need before cuddling you to sleep.

Conversation with Card is weird, his universe is very chaotic, not at all what you assumed from your own dimension.

"soo...you only turned seras for..." "her big tits, yup ( ͡º ꒳ ͡º) "

You can only blink at him, wondering how exactly his mind works. Integra HATES having two vampires. when their together, Cards energy starts to interfere with Alucard's before their both being dipshits and fucking shit up.

It's like having Twin toddlers running amok the manor. Seras is constantly confused, she has no idea who's who until one of them is calling her things like 'sugar tits' or something provocative, then she threatens to call you and the two seem to immediately coward away.

Card is not one to go against your fury, even in his own universe before your death, you could scare the devil himself and it appears the same is in this universe.

_______

Sometimes, at night when Alucard is on a mission, you and card take night walks around the garden. He becomes...softer. Sadder. He talks about missing you in his world, how he should have told you how he felt before your death. You only frown, holding his hand in your own..

You know he'll have to return to his own world soon, and that breaks you. because you've grown so used to your banter with him and Alucard. None the less, you enjoy your time with him the best you can.

Alucard won't admit it, but he enjoys having another version of him around. He and card actually fucked Infront of you before, for your enjoyment of course, but that stays in the bedroom.

Alucard enjoys having someone who can match his strength and his power.

When the day comes to say goodbye to card, you're trying not to cry, handing him a small bracelet with yours and Alucard's name on it. Card scoffs and says his not a child, but you don't miss the way his eyes turn glossy and how he tucks the gift into his coat.

Your two vampires shake hands, staring into each other eyes almost talking to each other telepathically. Afterwards, Card gets down on one knee, cupping your face and gently kissing you goodbye, gently wiping your tears as he does so.

"I will not forget the love you have given me, i know if My Y/n were to still be living. She would be Just like you" he says, and for the first time...he's serious. no jokes, jabs or provocative language.

You can only smile as Alucard tugs you back to his hip, smiling. "it was a pleasure to get to know you..." he rumbles out to his counterpart as he leaves through the wormhole, his grin the last thing you see before it closes and it's just you and Alucard standing in the night..

______

you slowly learn to move on from having Card in your life, everything of his you owned being boxed up and hidden away into the back shelf of the closet. Both you and Alucard sometimes sit in the garden at night, wondering how Card is doing and if he's safe, his time with you affected the way you both feel. Alucard misses his brash behavior and the way it would turn his master red. But he also misses how happy he saw you with having him around.

Soon, it becomes a distant memory you both share, especially once Alucard turns you, as time goes on. You learn to hold his memory close and continue your lives together...

A/: aint gonna lie, i started crying writing this

#hellsing #hellsing alucard #hellsing ultimate #hellsing x reader #alucard x reader #hellsing abridged #abridged alucard #alucard hellsing

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justplainsimon · 1 year

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Watched fmab a while back

Was nobody gonna tell me....

youtube

like, this was never a thing in the original hellsing ova

(also, hey critikal)

#hellsing ultimate #fma #hellsing ultimate abridged #fmab #van hohenheim #abridged alucard #Youtube

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doodleferp · 2 years

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Hey doodleferp, does Abridgedcard have his affair with Queen Elizabeth while still married to Allison? Or do they have a threesome?

Honestly, taking Elizabeth's real life history into account, they may have been swingers. They probably had more fun with Betty, though

#me? posting hellsing content after months? damn #my art #art by doodle #answered asks #hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing abridged #hellsing oc #alucard #allison sullivan #abridged alucard

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ajstudio · 2 years

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Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Fanfic Shorts #1

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Sugarcane and Peaches

June 2031

10 months after Alucard (TFS) returned to Hellsing they had a mission in New Orleans, Louisiana, and while there Sir Integra gave Persephone (neé Mercy Zuckerman) an opportunity to revisit her homeland before leaving. This exchange takes place while Sir Integra, Alucard, and Persephone visit the Zuckerman Sugarcane Plantation

Abridgecard: Wait!? They burn the sugarcane!?

Persephone: They do it because it's easier to harvest the sugarcane. They burn the residual leaves with the sugarcane, harvest the crops, send them to the factory, and then they prepare the fields for the next planting. The ashes leftover act as a good fertilizer for the next crop.

Abridgecard: Sh*t! I'd love to work at a place where I could burn things and get paid for it! Heck, I'd even take it as a side job if I could!

Integra: Alucard, you would just cause a fire hazard more than you would make a contribution in the workplace.

Abridgecard: Apparently, burning sugarcane fields is still a contribution.

Persephone: You would only get to do it once a year.

Abridgecard: Not unless I burn more than one field.

Persephone: How would you know when they're ready to harvest though?

Abridgecard: Why I'm surprised you asked. It's sugarcane! I'd eat it!

Persephone: Well good thing you didn't grow up here. You'd probably eat the sugar in the storage. After the sugarcane is brought to the factory where its ground it's then put into storage. But here's something a lot of people don't know about stored grounded sugarcane: the kids of the farmers like to play in the giant piles like they were sand. It was part of my fonder memories growing up when I came here for the holidays.

Abridgecard: You grew up playing in actual sugar? I'm actually kind of jealous.

Integra: Isn't that a little unsanitary to have them play in the sugar?

Persephone: Don't worry. The sugarcane is filtered before it's packaged and sent out to their purchasers. My family would never be so irresponsible with the source of their income.

Abridgecard: Soooo, Red.

Persephone: Yes Alucard?

Abridgecard: I was just wondering-

Integra: Oh no. (I know this is going to go somewhere.)

Abridgecard: How long did you play in the piles?

Persephone: Well regularly for hours before the main meals were served but then we would come back and pick up where we left o-

Abridgecard: So that means everyone in your family has a sweet ass, right?

Persephone: (Oh, I get where he's going with this.) Well, I can't speak for everyone in my family but I got mine from my father since he's a pear-shaped endomorph like his mother. So I guess some of the peach booties are hereditary on that side of the family.

Abridgecard: He hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Is that so? Hey, do you know what that means?

Persephone: What does what mean?

Abridgecard: I get to call you Peaches. Your new nickname is Peaches.

Integra: *facepalm* Oh my gosh!

Persephone: *giggles* Persie Peaches? Has a cute ring to it!

Abridgecard: I know, right?

----

Heat

August 15, 2031

Our favorite vampire hunting trio was sent to Kenya, Africa to hunt a vampire that was cooking up trouble and escaped to the safari. While there, Persephone bonds with Keya the lioness who was in heat and wearing out her mate. Alucard doesn't miss an opportunity to be a chaotic manchild.

Persephone: Intense heat that lasts for two to eight days and you need to actively have sex with your mate to deal with the unbearable orgasms you get once a month. I've never related so much to an animal before.

Keya: purs and chuffs happily as Persephone scratches the back of her ears before she gave a low roar

Persephone: I know. It's such a pain. It'll be worth it though cause you'll get some cute cubs out of it. I don't know if my future soulmate will be able be bear with my condition without tiring of me. You're fortunate to have a mate that loves you enough to put up with it. He knows you're worth it.

Kala: Wow! I've never seen her so comfortable with another person out of the group while she's in that condition.

Persephone: We're just bonding over a relatable problem.

Kala: Oh, really?

Persephone: I have unbearable orgasisms that come and go once a month and they last five to seven days. Normally leading up to my ovulation date. But it's worse when I'm ovulating.

Kala: Oh my gosh! Are you seeing any doctors?

Persephone: I have been seeing several.

Kala: My gosh! I wonder if you were a lioness in a past life.

Persephone: Maybe that's why I felt more at home with Black African women. I grew up with my own circle of soul sisters.

Kala: Aww! That's right. You grew up with my cousin Joy.

Persephone: Yes I did. She was a part of my sweet, precious, and beautiful sisterhood.

Keya: chuffing and low roaring

Persephone: What is it? Are you trying to roar big?

Kala: She's just in a talkative mood today.

Abridgecard: IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT!

Persephone: And he is in a musical mood.

Kala: Or a Disney mood.

Persephone: Fair enough.

Abridgecard: You know that song was a lie. Simba never got any sleep because Nala kept him up.

Seras: Oh come on! That scene where Nala was giving Simba bedroom eyes was awkward enough to watch as a kid! Besides didn't Nala and Simba talk afterward?

Abridgecard: Shhhh! It was intense pillow talk.

Persephone: (Well, we know Simba lost sleep after marrying Nala.)

Seras: (Great! I can never watch the Lion King again!)

Bonus

@merumely @thirstyforlulu @alucardownsmyass @hunnie880 @doodleferp @diamond-star @sundove88 @michi-tala @amikartest @trashbaby92 @sonia-irl @goblins-riddles-or-frocks @blood-and-cigars @the-hellsing-organisation @icecry @thecrimsonwingsfckerabridged

I have more in the works and I have a big one I really need to finish. I plan to draw some pictures for these shorts. So that will be fun.

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hwathwugu · 4 months

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#art #digital art #fanart #alucard #alucard hellsing #seras victoria #seras hellsing #hellsing #hellsing ultimate #hellsing ultimate abridged #which is my personal favorite version #imma be honest #1k

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solaceoftheshad0ws · 4 months

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Sketch time 😋 otherwise it's once again art block 😔

#art #fanart #digital drawing #digital art #hellsing ultimate #hellsing #hellsing fanart #hellsing fandom #alucard fanart #alucard #alucard hellsing #hellsing abridged #hellsing alucard #hellsing art #my art solace

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cry-ptidd · 3 months

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The difference between Canon Alucard and Abridged Alucard is that Abridgedcard knows how to use electronics

#seras what's a tweeter #alucard #hellsing #shitpost #hellsing abridged #there's no CANON confirmation that Alucard is shit at using a phone but.#i mean come on #that's an old man #he wasn't even flying the sr71 mf was using his telekinesis #probably can't even drive. his big ass can't fit in the car

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zevanthsnecromancy · 1 month

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#hellsing ultimate #alutegra #hellsing alucard #hellsing integra #hellsing fanart #my artwork #enrico maxwell #hellsing abridged #hellsing organization #hellsing iscariot #Maxwell is wack #Enrico is a fucking clown #hellsing

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gremmything · 2 months

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FuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUCK I love hellsing so much

I love Alucard and his frankly RIDICULOUS emotional complexity given his role in the stpry

I love Seras and how fucking STUPID she is

I love Pip and how STUPID he is and how his stupidity perfectly compliments Seras'

I love Anderson and Alucard's parallelisms and how well they're both written

I love Integra as a BADASS bitch and a complex ass character who has too much shit on her shoulders

I love ALL OF THEM SO FUCKING MUCH

I love having such a weird special interest

"Heheh yeah I read about vampires who fight nazi vampires"

I loveeeeeeeeeeee hellsing

#hellsing #alucard #seras victoria #pip bernadotte #alexander anderson #integra hellsing #hellsing anime #hellsing ultimate #hellsing abridged #hellsing manga #i love them all #autism #special interest #hyperfixation #adhd #audhd #idk which one it is rn it bounces between the two #im just so happy to exist in a wprld that has hellsing #ypu just do not understand how.much i love this stupid ass anime

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half-a-life-left · 3 days

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rewatched hellsing ultimate

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard #alucard hellsing #cw many eyes #cw scopophobia #eyestrain #also watched abridged because. yeah

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lady-wallace · 8 months

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Hello, enjoy a dump of stupid meme redraws for Hellsing (my current random brainrot)

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #fanart #i guess #hellsing memes #meme redraw #alucard #hellsing alucard #hellsing ultimate abridged

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yandereaffections · 1 year

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Hello, I was wondering if I could have headcanons of hellsing Alucard and abridge alucards reactions to an s/o who kinda goes along with ‘dating’ them because the s/o thinks they’ll get bored of them eventually. Thank you

The two of them will pick up on your "go with the flow" behavior quite quickly, or at least the more well behaved Alucard pointed it out and the lunatic of the relationship slowly followed suit on figuring out why you seem to put so much more energy in other things than with them

To be clear Alucards plan was never to straight up ask you, he's been hidden in the shadows of the Hellsing manor simply observing you, seeing how your actions towards others varies from the two vampire kings that are on your ass constantly. Of course when Abridged Alucard figures out the variation of him suspects anything he immediately ruins whatever progress was made via stealth and corners you

Whether you do admit that this "relationship" with them is all a matter of time to you or not the Crimson Fucker is the first to laugh at you, in your face with no remorse. Thankfully the other Alucard can hold himself together a bit better though you swear his sinister smile seems much wider than before. Needless to say they're quick to correct you, as if they'd ever grow bored of their little bunny, and expect to see your old indifferent behavior in your time with them change very soon. You're the beloved of two monstrous maniacs, don't think you can simply slip under their radar.