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secondhandnesting · 5 months

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Omegaverse Dynamics

What Drives the Wolf?

A general discussion of the base instincts that run the dynamics. This is of course generalized, so there may be some overlap, and the behaviors are not necessarily exclusive to the dynamics they are tied to.

Alpha: protection and control; The Alphas ultimate desire to protect their pack often manifests as control. They are often stereotypes to be violent and overly willing to start fights, but they are simply willing to do anything necessary to maintain their control. This control does not come from a bad place; they feel the need to take every aspect of protecting their pack into their hands. If they think they know what will be best for a pack-member, they will push for it. There were a few statements made in a discord group I'm a part of by @pack-the-pack that I want to squeeze in here (paraphrased): "Young Alphas believe to be a good leader they must have power, Older Alphas realize to be a good leader they must empower.", "Omegas and Betas tend to step into situations to help before shit goes down, whereas Alphas warn and advise but wait until after shit hits the fan to help the person learn from their mistakes." I don't think this contradicts my statements about their desire for control; they maintain control of the situation always (when they are able), but ultimately they only step in when they feel there is real danger that could be avoided. "Sometimes you have to control a pack members behavior because that's the only way to ensure they will stay safe." If you want a specific example, I see Shiro from VLD as an Alpha. He absolutely takes control when necessary, and when he just believes it's necessary, but he lets his teammates do their own thing (generally). In times of stress, the need for control can feel greater. A distressed Alpha would likely feel the need to exert control more than normal; they could get picky and pedantic with things that others might see as non-issues. It might also present as being more nosy, clingy, controlling.

Beta: providing and security; Betas crave security, both for themselves and their pack. This can manifest in many ways. Instinctively, Betas are the hunters, the providers. While the Alpha and Omega are occupied with seemingly more "immediate" care of the pack, the Beta is doing everything they can to provide for their pack. Sometimes this is food (or other more tangible things such as shelter); while an Alpha might hunt and present a kill as a way to prove they are capable of providing for their pack, a Beta would silently be gathering a hoard of food; they do not often need credit for what they are providing, they get enough satisfaction from simply seeing their pack is tended to. This can also present in less physical ways: they can often be a jack-of-all-trades (what better way to provide for your pack than to be able to fix any problem that may come up?), they can act as a font for advice, they might "hoard" knowledge that might be useful (example: an Omega in the pack is pregnant, the Beta takes it as their job to know everything about pregnancy). In times of stress, this instinct can present as actions such as stress-baking, hoarding nesting materials for their Omegas

Omega: self-preservation, comfort, safety; Self-preservation (sp) is a bit of a misnomer in this case. The Omegas need for safety and comfort extends to things that matter to them (like packmates, a nest, a special object, etc.), but often to the Omega it will feel as if those outside subjects are simply extensions of themselves, thus fall under sp. Another somewhat connected desire is for social connection. This often presents as a desire for a pack and/or family; they need to feel loved, needed, and like the belong. This is where their "court jester" behavior can appear. Omegas are fun and want to have fun, both as a simply want, and as a tool to keep everyone together and harmonious. As mentioned here, "[The Omega] must suffer terrible abuse at the hands of the king and court, but he is undeniably loved. Like a jester, the omega is often the one to instigate play and act the fool." I generally disagree with the part about abuse, but it can be true. An Omegas foremost desire is safety and security, and they will often choose that over freedom, which comes with the risk of being entirely isolated. Omegas can go out of their way or comfort to ensure they have a place. (If Omegas can find a sense of belonging and having a place within themselves, they will be better off for it.) In times of stress, the Omega can be dangerous. They are the most likely of the dynamics to become "feral"; their base instinct is to preserve the safety of themselves and what matters to them. It can also manifest as extreme clinginess, they may seem to become more erratic in their efforts to keep themselves (and their connections) safe (alternating quickly between roles, such as clown/jester, therapist, mother, etc.).

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tvrningout · 4 months

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with the new year comes some little bits of housekeeping, and it's mainly how i plan to approach interactions moving forward. the plain and unfortunate truth is i suck at keeping up with messages. it's easier the closer i feel to someone, but i can still get easily overwhelmed. i'm still forgetful, both with messages and interaction calls. so this year, i'm going to do my best to act in accordance to my strengths and stop pushing myself to do something that i simply don't have the mental energy to do constantly.

what does this mean? well, i won't be making plotting calls going forward; instead, i plan to make lists of plots for each muse as well as general plots/dynamics i want, and i'll approach you if you like one of these posts. this should make dynamics easier to develop since we'll already have a starting place. i will also occasionally reblog a plotting meme of some sort, so if you want a more personalized idea from me, those will be the way to go. i probably won't like plotting calls myself unless i have a pretty solid idea in mind.

when i make starter/inbox calls, i'm going to start placing a cap on them so that i don't bite off more than i can chew. if i get through that initial cap, i might raise it if i still feel good enough to do more, but if i don't, it's okay bc i guarantee i'll make another interaction call before long! i just need to start doing this bc i honestly forget what i owe within a few days if i get busy.

and i want to be honest -- the little interactions make me more comfortable around my mutuals and more likely to pursue interactions. liking my headcanons/ooc posts/etc., commenting on posts, and sending in memes ( ic or ooc ) show me you do have an interest in what i have to offer. i understand reaching out is nerve-wracking bc i get nervous, too, but reaching out can be something as small as liking a post. and this is just a general note in regards to my own comfort that i might put in my rules! i guess what i'm saying is, if you're having a hard time approaching me, just a little interaction will help me bridge the gap, if that makes sense. if both of us feel shy but at least one of us reaches out even in a small way, we can make a connection over time!

i think that's it for the time being! i promise i'll be doing my best to show my interest even when it's hard for me to talk, and i hope these changes make it easier to connect <3

#i'm not reading that back again bc i really am feeling like a lil deflated balloon and it's only 9 o'clock here asdfg #i've been thinking about this for a minute though bc really #i keep trying to be good at messages and keeping track of interaction calls and rather than stressing myself out #i'm just going to do what i know will work better for me bc it'll then work better for y'all in the long run too #i might add all of this into my rules later but for now i'm gonna drink some water and take a minute bc a headache is trying to come for me #and just!! sorry to everyone i've ever forgotten about when it comes to interaction calls!!#and i'm sorry to everyone i've ever forgotten to message back!!#i never meant to be this way and you're wonderful!! i just got a bad brain you see :' )#get ready to ramble | ooc

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nobodysdaydreams · 9 months

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Benedict Twins Neurodivergent Head Canons (by popular request)

At first I was going to make a post about all the MBS character's neurodivergencies, then I realized I had wayyyy too many for the twins alone.

Then I also realized that despite my efforts to try and separate them by diagnoses, a lot of their symptoms are the same thing in different fonts and with different diagnoses emphasized throughout the show. So here is everything I came up with.

(Warning: insanely long and unhinged post ahead. Feel free to disagree with any of these. Just don't be ableist please!).

My head canons for the twins:

ADHD-inattentive type - mostly Nicholas, possibly season 2 Nathaniel

Autism - mostly Nicholas, you could argue Nathaniel also has it

Anxiety/OCD symptoms - mostly Nathaniel in season 1, you could argue Nicholas has other forms of anxiety

BPD - mostly Nathaniel in season 2, you could argue Nicholas also has it

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - Both twins have it, and I think Nathaniel also has CSD, and I will explain what that is

Maladaptive Daydreaming (MADD) - I don't know if both twins have it, but there are some scenes they were in the had the vibe going for sure

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ADHD-inattentive type:

Nicholas' ADHD-I head canon mostly comes from personal experience (that's been my official diagnosis since childhood). Specifically, the way they wrote the show version of the character was way too relatable to me. The fact that there are so many books on his desk cluttered everywhere? Him dismissing the food Number Two tries to give him in that one scene even though he ordered it? The flashbacks of Nathaniel having to tell Nicholas to make sure his appearance looked good? Flashback Nicholas showing up late for the orphanage pageant? The general scatterbrain tendencies? Nicholas getting emotionally overwhelmed when he has too much to do or can't find a way out of a situation? I love the man, but thank goodness he has Rhonda and Number Two to do the executive functioning for him because if they didn't he would be in trouble. Those scenes were way too relatable, as were the scenes of him feeling guilty for being a burden to his friends family because they handle so much for him.

Since this head canon comes entirely from my own experiences, it's probably the easiest for me to write. I haven't done much with it in my fics yet because I've been focusing a bit more on the plot™️ and other characters, but when writing season 2 content, especially from Nicholas' perspective and how it changes after he's been given the happiness technique, I do intend to do a few things to incorporate this head canon into how I write his scenes.

It's also worth noting that while I see this head canon as mostly applying to Nicholas, Nathaniel does seem to have more ADHD-I symptoms in season 2. Season 1 he has a lot of anxiety (which I will talk about), but in season 2, he's a lot more quirky and scatterbrained and relaxed once his anxiety symptoms are decreased, and I could see ADHD being a head canon for him as well, it's just that his anxiety masks his executive dysfunction more than Nicholas' does. Of course, there are a lot of other possible reasons for Nathaniel's change in personality between seasons, and I'm gonna talk about those too.

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Autism:

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): So unlike the ADHD head canon, the autism head canon is one that I am not professionally diagnosed with, but I am familiar with it through irl friends that I've had that have been professionally diagnosed with autism. It's also worth noting that this is not really my own head canon or an unpopular one, other people in the fandom have mentioned this head canon before).

It's also a head canon that I think makes a lot of sense, especially in the show, they mention multiple times that Nicholas was at one point an academic, which could imply him having special interests and hyper fixations. During the flashbacks of him at the orphanage we really don't see him interact with anyone other than Nathaniel, which could be due to a number of factors, but could also suggest that maybe Nicholas struggled socially. This is support by the fact that when he rants at Nathaniel in 1x8, he says Nathaniel always tried "to control me [Nicholas], to control your friends", but Nicholas doesn't say our friends or my friends, and the only friends of his own mentioned from childhood are Nathaniel (who his says was his best friend), and Tommy Jacobs (who Nathaniel told him to stay away from and was implied to be a social outcast) suggesting that Nathaniel was the one building and maintaining the twin's social circle, though of course that's speculation.

I also previously talked about Nicholas being emotionally overwhelmed, and I know I connected that more to my own experience of ADHD-I symptoms, but I could see it being connected to experiences of autism as well, such as autistic burnout, autistic meltdowns, or sensory overload, I suppose it's open to interpretation especially if you head canon Nicholas as having both ADHD and Autism and consider all the ways that ADHD and Autism can coexist and interact within the same person.

It's also worth noting that Nathaniel is also seen misinterpreting social situations and struggling to connect with his peers both in flashback and in the show. In the flashbacks, he doesn't pick up the fact that the perspective parents don't like him or that people are displeased with his morning after performance. In the present, he has to basically twist Garrison's arm into a friendship and has so many weird and uncomfortable scenes where he tries to offer her "a chance to share the spotlight" and gives her champagne she can't drink where it looks like he's attempting to get her to genuinely like him but he just keeps missing the mark and getting more and more frustrated. I suppose you can also head canon this as ASD if you want since it is a pattern of social struggles that has followed him into adulthood (especially since Nicholas and Nathaniel are twins and would likely have similar symptoms), but it's also important to remember that Nathaniel is an antagonist, so I could understand where this head canon could also be taken negatively.

As for how I incorporate ASD head canons into my fic, since ASD is a disorder I have a lot of personal familiarity with, but am not diagnosed with myself, I try to write it in a way where I keep what's canon canon, I talk mostly about the symptoms I'm familiar with or have heard friends of mine describe (I mention Nicholas stimming as a child and struggling to understand social situations, getting very emotionally overwhelmed, etc.).

One thing I was mindful of, especially when writing my fic was that even though Nicholas (and SQ, who I'll talk more about in another post) having autism is a fairly popular head canon made mostly by autistic people, I still wanted to make sure that when I focused in or hinted at those symptoms that I did it well and did it respectfully.

For example, one problematic trope that can happen in autism representation is infantilizing or having them portrayed as sweet and innocent characters, but also characters without a lot of agency, and I did worry a bit about that when writing them from Nathaniel's point of view, and talking about things like him not trusting SQ to make his own decisions, and viewing Nicholas as incapable or incompetent. I really tried to make it super clear that this is how Curtain or other characters are viewing them at various points in time, but it's not necessarily how they actually are. So far I think that I've been able to make that clear, at least I haven't heard anyone say that my portrayal is problematic or bad, and I have gotten a lot of comments saying that I do a fairly good job of switching between the POVs of different characters and showing how certain things from one character's perspective are incorrect in another's. But again, while I have some personal experience with ASD, I don't have it myself, so I'm curious to know what people with ASD think about this head canon and whether it's an accurate and positive one, and if any of you guys think that it's a problematic head canon, or does more harm than good, please let me know.

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Anxiety/OCD:

Anxiety/OCD Symptoms: My background with OCD and anxiety is that I have several family members and friends with anxiety and OCD, and I know that it's a really difficult disorder to live with especially when you're trying to deal with it on your own.

I know there have been a couple people who have already pointed out Nathaniel's OCD and anxiety-like behaviors, especially in the ways that it parallels Sticky's anxiety and OCD tendencies (and I might do another post talking more in depth about Sticky but if you haven't read Sophie's amazing fic about it, do that now).

I noticed these symptoms of Curtain's mostly in season 1, where Curtain started out as a seemingly confident and calm evil mastermind behind the Emergency and then became increasingly anxious and upset the more he lost control. You could also argue the way the Institute is governed by so many rules designed to not look like rules and Curtain's extreme need for control and orderliness are also signs of OCD or anxious tendencies. (and his anxiety and frustration when that control and order is disrupted, such a when he screams at his stenographer that "every minor detail" matters).

In my fic, I do a few examples of Curtain experiencing intrusive and negative thought patterns and using control to try and cope with that, but since it's not a disorder I've been diagnosed with or symptoms I personally experience, I try to keep it within Nathaniel's canon concerns (his fear of failure, being abandoned by his friends and family, his paranoia and mistrust of others especially when he's investigating the kids in season 1 and assumes Nicholas came to the island to mock him).

There's also a scene where Curtain makes SQ believe that his friend Reynie is only trying to take advantage of him, and while it's an example of Curtain letting his own anxieties and fears overshadow what's best for his son, I really try to write in an way that emphasizes that Curtain does believe he is doing the right thing and protecting him, even if he's not doing it correctly. While I mostly focus on his anxiety and OCD symptoms and tendencies in season 1 (because that's when they are emphasized the most), you could also argue he has them a bit towards the end of season 2 as well, but I also think that might be RSD related, which I'll talk about later.

I have also considered possibly exploring more about his relationship with Nicholas especially within the context of my head canon of Nicholas having ADHD and Nathaniel having OCD, because I've had those kind of relationships irl, and sometimes it's balanced really well, because the person with OCD is usually better at executive functioning while the person with ADHD can provide distraction from negative thoughts and reassurance/emotional support, and those are the kinds of relationships I've had that have worked really well. However, I've also had relationships, mostly with roommates, where things just don't match up; they want a roommate with a certain level of cleanliness that follows a steady and predictable routine they can plan around (when you shower, when you bring guests over, etc.) and I just can't live like that and it's no fun getting bullied and nagged all the time and it's also no fun living with someone who is messy and unpredictable, so I can understand why in a situation where both these things were happening, Nicholas leaving created very complicated feelings for both of them.

I'm not sure if I'll have the chance to explore that more in flashbacks or maybe in season 2 when they spend more time together, but it is an interesting dynamic. And just like I said with Nicholas' ASD head canon, while I have some personal experience with OCD and anxiety through friends and family members, I don't have it myself, so I'm curious to know what people with OCD and anxiety think about this head canon and whether it's an accurate or positive one (because even though Nathaniel does grow and change, he's still an antagonist for most of the series especially in season 1), and if any of you guys think that it's a problematic head canon, or does more harm than good, please let me know.

It's also worth pointing out the Nicholas does have some anxious tendencies as well (this has been mentioned by several people in the fandom, and also Nicholas and Nathaniel are identical twins, so it is likely they'd have similar neurotypes), but he also has a better emotional support system than Nathaniel does, so it's likely easier for him to manage his anxiety in a healthy way vs. Nathaniel relying on control. I'd be interested in hearing what people with OCD and anxiety think about this and whether it could apply to both twins.

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) symptoms:

BPD Symptoms: Since BPD is a less known disorder, I'll first explain that it's a personality disorder (PD) with 9 symptoms (you need 5 symptoms for diagnosis, which leaves 256 possible types of BPD) and it's often linked to some form of abandonment related childhood trauma (a parent leaving, dying, being emotionally distant or abusive, etc.). I will say I was on the fence about this one, and debated including it in my post at all, because I want to acknowledge that head canoning a character, especially a villain character, with a PD can be stereotyping and problematic if not done correctly (though there are many villain characters who have been head cannoned as having BPD by people with BPD (pwBPD) including Anakin from Star Wars, Catra from She-Ra, and Azula from ATLA).

Additionally, I'm also not someone diagnosed with PD, and wouldn't make head canons unless I thought it could be positive or accurate representation. And I think season 2 Nathaniel might qualify for that. Maybe, it's a little complicated. My experience with PDs and BPD comes from knowing people with it irl, but specifically older people with BPD (older than 45), who tend to present differently than younger people because they are on average less likely to have received mental health help or a diagnosis when they were younger and the relationships and goals you have and prioritize at 60 are not the same as the ones you had at 25. I specify season 2 Nathaniel when I talk about his BPD symptoms, mostly because that was when I noticed them. Going into season 2, I did not have BPD in mind as a head canon for him at all. But watching season 2, there were a lot of his scenes where I found myself saying "this looks familiar" and "wait...are they trying to portray BPD in an older person?" and then I realized that when you took out a DSM checklist and looked back at the character...he does fit the criteria pretty well.

However, just fitting a set of DSM criteria doesn't mean a character is good representation, and even accurate representation can still be stereotypical representation (*cough cough* Number Two's mom). Whether Nathaniel could be considered good BPD rep is a difficult question to answer for a couple reasons. The first is because characters with PDs are often stereotyped as villains and antagonists, and while Nathaniel is a sympathetic, likeable, and ultimately redeemed antagonist, he's still an antagonist (not as much of an antagonist as Anakin "the women and children too" Skywalker, a BPD head canon often made by individuals with BPD (plus more about his symptoms here)), but still an antagonist. And while people with BPD have head canoned antagonists as also having BPD, these are usually well-loved antagonists with popular and clear redemption arcs, and Nathaniel's book counterpart (who, for the record DOES NOT have any mental health disorder he's just awful) is very different from his character in the show. So even if Nathaniel is good BPD rep, if someone unfamiliar with how different the MBS show and books are sees the head canon and applies it to the book character on accident, it could leave them with a very false and negative view of the disorder. You could argue this could also easily happen with Nathaniel's anxiety head canon and his control issues, and it could, but anxiety isn't generally vilified nearly as much as PDs.

But on the other hand, I could also see where Nathaniel's BPD could be a positive head canon, and there were a lot of things about it that I really liked. BPD has slowly started to get more positive rep in the media and in the world of psychology in general, but stories with themes of self-improvement where the pwBPD is portrayed in a positive light are still normally reserved for younger people (20s/30s/early 40s) and people without kids. When older pwBPD, especially untreated or undiagnosed individuals and especially individuals with kids are shown in media or talked about in psychology...let's just say it's not great. Now, obviously untreated mental health symptoms can negatively effect the people around you and cause serious damage after so many years, but the lack of positive growth stories about older pwBPD has always bothered me because it completely ignores any good qualities they have, or even the possibility of getting help later in life, and I hate seeing people that I love consistently talked about and portrayed so negatively not just in media but in the field of psychology in general. I also think it's a bit ageist to say that young people can get help for their mental health disorders and improve, but that it's too late for older adults.

That's why I love so much of what they did with Nathaniel's character. They didn't dismiss the impact his symptoms had on his family and SQ, but they also didn't completely blame it all on his BPD symptoms (in fact, in season 1, his anxiety symptoms seemed to be the main focus). They also established very early on that Nathaniel was a redeemable and sympathetic character and wasn't meant to be a copy of his book counterpart (Reynie's 1x8 speech about how Curtain is a good person). Additionally, once his BPD symptoms were more present in season 2, that was when Nathaniel became more likeable in the eyes of the fandom, not less likeable, and I really like that they did that. For as much as we make jokes about hitting Curtain with his golf cart and hating him, I've also seen a lot of people talk about reluctantly coming around to loving his character as they've rewatched Season 2, and I was one of them for sure. I loved that they showed how silly and fun his character was, and how yeah, he's not thinking clearly and is actively committing crimes, but really all he wants is a world where he is loved and has his family with him, he doesn't actually want to hurt anyone. Then there's the fact that his narcolepsy trigger is vulnerability and how that could connect to his self-image, and the fact that the society kids have trauma linked to abandonment that could led to the development of BPD later and how that connects to themes of healing generational trauma (also side note: children can't have a BPD diagnosis so while the kids do have abandonment related traumas and you can draw parallels there, you can't head canon them with BPD to mirror Nathaniel the same way you can head canon other diagnosis between the adults and kids, like with Nicholas and SQ both having autism).

However, the positive aspects of Nathaniel as a BPD character ironically can also be seen as a bad thing, because on the one hand, it's nice to see an older person with possible BPD getting a self-improvement story arc and sympathetic portrayal, but on the other hand: the show was cancelled. And that was really upsetting to me, especially because becoming "a good guy" didn't completely remove Nathaniel's BPD or anxiety symptoms, but they showed him dealing with them in a more healthy way with a support system, and that's such a great message, and we have so little representation of that, so I'm glad they hinted at that...but they totally could have done more with it, and I'm so sad that they can't now because it's a message that does not go unappreciated.

For writing Nathaniel's BPD symptoms into my fic, this is a bit complicated, because while Nathaniel does have a lot of canon symptoms (abandonment related fears, mood swings, moments of anger, unstable relationships, impulsive career change and self identity between seasons, etc.), and I really don't need to add anything, it's still a matter of debate whether it's good representation or not, and I could see people interpreting his character a number of ways. So while I sticking to canon, I still leave things ambiguous. For example, there's a scene in my fic where Curtain admits he doesn't have a stable identity because he avoids vulnerability. You could say that's also due to BPD/unstable self-image or you could say it's entirely due to his canon narcolepsy trigger. It's up to you whether you want the BPD rep there or not, because I've reviewed posts and tips written by people with BPD about writing representation, and recognize that while Nathaniel fits the DSM criteria pretty well and the show focuses a lot on his abandonment issues and symptoms, he is still an antagonist for most of the series. A likable and ultimately redeemed antagonist, but still an antagonist, which means the plot of the show and my fic, while it's ultimately driving him to redemption, still require him do some pretty bad antagonistic things regardless of whether they are directly connected to any symptoms that he has (consider this your warning), and I can see why that aspect of it might be a turn off, which is why I leave the rep open to the interpretation of the reader.

As I mentioned, there are 256 possible types of BPD, I don't expect that everyone with BPD would relate to Nathaniel, and this is also generally a younger fandom (teens/20s/30s) and a big reason I like Nathaniel's rep is because he's portraying what I've seen in older as opposed to younger people with BPD, so it's possible someone with BPD looking at this character would either see it more as a representation of an older family member (because these things do run in families) or wouldn't be able to relate to him. But I'd still be curious to know what people with BPD think about this head canon and whether they agree that's what's being represented here and if so, whether it was done accurately or positively, and just like with other head canons, if any of you guys think that this head canon is problematic or does more harm than good, please let me know.

I'd also be curious to know what people think about Nicholas possibly also having BPD, because he did grow up in an orphanage and his adoptive parents don't seem to be around anymore. He also seems convinced that his friends will leave him whenever he makes a mistake, which...again it could be the anxiety, it could be that both twins have BPD...it could go a number of ways.

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RSD and CSD:

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): I know anxiety is also a popular Nicholas head canon, but I did want to mention the ways that I see Nicholas' flavor of anxiety as very RSD oriented. For those that don't know what RSD is, it's when you experience severe emotional pain because of failure or being rejected, and it's often related to ADHD. In my personal experience, it's a lot worse when you feel like you've messed up in a moral sense, done something wrong, hurt someone, or let someone down, especially when the other person assumes that you have malicious intentions, or did something on purpose. You just feel like you want to delete every memory of what happened or destroy yourself to make it go away. It can also happen in response to constructive criticisms too if the person still feels that they really messed up or hurt someone.

I see a lot of RSD/anxious tendencies in Nicholas, specifically in response to what he did to Nathaniel, but also at the thought of something happening to the children or his friends and it being his fault for creating the Sender and dragging them into this. This is also supported by the fact that Nicholas' anxiety seemed to go up a lot after 1x03 when he finds out Nathaniel is the Sender and he has his little breakdown in the woods. Obviously he's always been anxious about the operation in general, who wouldn't be, but once he realizes he might have himself to blame if things go wrong or if one of the children gets hurt, that's when the anxiety really starts to come. Again, you can feel free to disagree with this head canon and I could see Nicholas having anxiety in other situations as well, but as someone with ADHD-I who head canons Nicholas that way, this was something I picked up on.

Compliment Sensitivity Dysphoria (CSD): I talked about RSD with Nicholas and how it's common in ADHD-I, but RSD is common in other disorders too, and Curtain definitely has it, but I think he has something else as well. A little phenomena I also experience on occasion, which I have named "Compliment Sensitivity Dysphoria" (not a clinical term, my own term). I don't know if it's a thing other people with ADHD-I experience, or maybe just those of us who have a family history of other stuff and it's a combination of things that's causing it, but basically, it's the opposite of RSD. With RSD, you get one negative comment, you want to destroy yourself, but with CSD, you get complimented once, you develop a God complex.

I know I talked about the show's focus switching from looking at Nathaniel's anxiety symptoms in season 1 to his BPD symptoms in season 2, but something else changes between seasons 1 and 2 and that's the characters surrounding Nathaniel. In Season 1, he's getting criticized by Garrison, Nicholas tells him off at the end, his son is disobeying him, and he feels attacked. Season 2, everybody praises his every move all the time, leaving him open to CSD. Now speaking from personal experience, the CSD God complex thing is very fun, but you gotta watch out for those pesky consequences™️ because if you don't, the RSD will come back worse than you could ever imagine, so you need to look out (which, obviously, our poor Nathaniel did not do). I also love the way he apologizes at the end: "I might have been going about things the wrong way (nearly froze thousands of people including my own family) so let's just go now and never talk about it again because if I reflect on the bad things I did I will self-destruct so let's all just move on now thank you :)" absolutely iconic. Accountability king right there.

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Maladaptive Daydreaming (MADD):

For those who don't know what maladaptive daydreaming is, I'll admit, I'm not as active with the MADD tumblr community (it does exist though) and you can google it, but if you've ever paced around or stimmed while listening to music and zoning about thinking about fictional characters, that's basically what that is, but it's only technically considered maladaptive if done to an unhealthy degree, but obviously what constitutes an "unhealthy degree" is a more vaguely defined area. MADD is incredibly common in people with ADHD (specifically, ADHD-Inattentive type), but it's also very common in OCD, ASD, and personality disorders as well.

MADD presents differently in different people, but in my experience, the dancing and stimming to repetitive or happy music is the format that tends to trigger the most euphoria. Which is interesting for someone like Nicholas, because having a form of narcolepsy that causes him to pass out when he feels real joy means he wouldn't have had the chance to experience MADD like that, until he's given the artificial happiness by Curtain. And once Curtain does? Nicholas is cheerfully pacing around his apartment (I think I commented somewhere on a live blog that it looked like MADD), and then there's the whole "dance party in the field scene", big MADD vibes there.

MADD also has an overlap with ASD (hence the stimming and motor stereotypy that often happens during the daydreaming), and OCD (because both involve repetitive and uncontrollable thoughts, it's just that the thoughts associated with MADD are fun and addictive thoughts instead of distressing ones. But they can still be harmful if taken to an extreme).

Again, clinically, I'm not sure if Nicholas has enough instances to be "diagnosed" with MADD, but those scenes in season 2 had the vibes going so I just thought I'd mention it. Also, a canonically autistic character that I (and many others) head canon with MADD is Abed Nadir from "Community" if you are interested in looking for another example of MADD in someone with autism.

Finally, you can maybe make the argument that Curtain has MADD as well, or at least one instance of it.

Again, I wouldn't say the MADD aspect is overly focused on in Nicholas or Nathaniel, but it's common in OCD, ASD, ADHD, and PDs (all of which tend to run together in families), and Nathaniel's Stand Back Dance had the vibe going for sure. Between moving across the world between seasons, getting a new career, and doing his little dance, the man was entering his Rebecca Bunch era (and if you don't know who that is, Rebecca Bunch is a pretty well known canon BPD representation from the tv show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and I've seen a lot of people head canon her with maladaptive daydreaming as well. She's also likely going to be Nathaniel's competition if he makes into the theater kid showdown, so for reference here's a clip of her experiencing RSD).

-----------------------------

Finally, since these are all disorders I know a lot about, I'm happy to answer any questions (as long as you keep it respectful and no ableist. Remember the RSD), and if you feel like any of these head canons are harmful and/or problematic, please let me know (mostly concerned about Nathaniel's head canons since he's a bad guy, but if you think Nicholas' head canons are problematic as well, feel free to message about those too. Again, remembering that I did this with the best of intentions and also the RSD).

Also, since the Benedict brothers are identical twins, and you could argue they both had signs of all the disorders, which all tend to run together in families anyway, so if you want to skip the DSM technicalities and what's popular in fandom and throw up your hands and say "they both have ASD/ADHD/OCD/BPD" it's a head canon, it can be whatever I want!" then know that I fully support you in that quest.

And for those who might not be as familiar with one or more of these disorders, or didn't realize they had such a strong genetic overlap and are interested in learning more, I have resources for that too!

Misdiagnosis Monday has some great charts of symptom overlap. I include some below.

#long post #Connecting my special interests #Sorry I know this is an insane amount of stuff for just two characters who are twins and share a lot of symptoms #But I have never seen the mental illnesses that me my friends and my family members and the ways they intersect so represented #Gonna keep this post for the mutuals so my DM's don't get flooded if people actually take the time to read this #But I might add fandom tags later. We shall see.

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fictionadventurer · 8 months

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Inversnaid Gerard Manley Hopkins

This darksome burn, horseback brown, His rollrock highroad roaring down, In coop and in comb the fleece of his foam Flutes and low to the lake falls home.

A windpuff-bonnet of fawn-froth Turns and twindles over the broth Of a pool so pitchblack, fell-frowning, It rounds and rounds Despair to drowning.

Degged with dew, dappled with dew, Are the groins of the braes that the brook treads through, Wiry heathpacks, flitches of fern, And the beadbonny ash that sits over the burn.

What would the world be, once bereft Of wet and wildness? Let them be left, O let them be left, wildness and wet; Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet.

#poetry #gerard manley hopkins #this is what sparked the last post #(along with several other poems i've read lately but this was the final piece in the tower)#i opened the anthology and started casually reading it aloud to myself #only to find myself nearly laughing with delight as the rhythm took hold in the first stanza #speeding me along much faster than intended #tumbling over letters like stones in a brook #ROLLrock HIGHroad ROARing down #i was finding myself wanting to add syllables later on to keep the rollicking rhythm going #and then going back to appreciate the rhythm that was already there #'long live the weeds and the wilderness yet' needs to be on a poster or a sampler or notebook or something that i own

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asjjohnson · 1 year

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Part 6 of my poll adventure fic. Links: the beginning, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.

It's mid-day Wednesday (at least for my time), which means a new part of my poll adventure fic, because I've been here for over a year and still don't know how to use this site effectively. :D (Oh wait, here, I made a poll about tumblr timing.)

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Valerie walked toward Vlad through the rubble, hugging a hissing and clawing Maddie against her armor. "Found him," she said proudly, smiling up at Vlad. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually, there is. There's a malevolent ghost loose in Amity Park, posing a serious risk to my health, as well as to the city. I need him contained and brought to me."

Oh, cheese sticks with marinara dipping sauce! He had meant to do the responsible thing here—not ask a fourteen-year-old child who couldn't even hold a cat properly to risk her life in his stead.

...He really had become too accustomed to avoiding anything unpleasant.

"Sure thing, Mayor Masters!"

Maddie squirmed out of Valerie's hold with an angry yowl and ran off.

Well, he could still work with Valerie. ...If he truly wanted to. He was unlikely to succeed on his own, anyhow, if this older version of Daniel actually was as powerful as he'd heard.

But did he truly want to be a part of this endeavor? He was already dreading it, with only the thought.

He recalled what the older Daniel had said—that he let his emotions hold too much sway, and that in turn caused his plans to fail.

Which had been exactly the case when he'd felt some level of compassion for that ghost.

Thinking purely objectively, Vlad could still use the ghost if he could get him back under his control. And if Vlad were to have some part in the ghost's capture—in saving Amity Park—it would boost his ratings. He did need to keep his position as mayor of Amity Park for his contingency plans.

"Valerie, dear. Why don't we work together? I'm sure it's just misplaced guilt, but I can't help but feel somehow responsible for this situation. Ridiculous, I know. However, working with you on his capture would ease my poor conscience."

"Oh... uh, you've never suggested this before," Valerie said uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, as though she was trying to think of some way that poor old 'Mayor Masters' could work with her. "But if that's what you want."

'Cheerleader' isn't, ah, a literal cheerleader. (Don't make me dress him up in a skirt.) It just means... like, advertising and cheering her on. More of a cheer-leader (...which is probably an even more literal meaning actually).

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"Alert me when there's an update" list:

@charlietheepic7, @chrysanthemum9484, @mymadmedleyw, @dp-marvel94, @aikoiya, @whydouwantmyname, @cinturon-cadena, @freakofyournature, @satanicrutialspecialist, @danphantom80

(if you want on the list, specifically ask to be alerted for updates in a tag or comment. Ask again if I forget! If I can't tag you, I'll send a Message.)

#danny phantom #vlad plasmius #valerie gray #poll fic #poll adventure #asj post #asj writing #Don't worry Maddie's fine. She(?) is just startled from the collapse and doesn't like strangers much.#We know Valerie's not a dog person but who said she was a cat person either?#Vlad will probably run into Danny in the next part.#(...you guys voting for Vlad to ask two young children to help him catch a very dangerous ghost.)#actually I probably should've thought to add an 'everyone he can' option. In Reign Storm against Pariah Dark he'd talked to several people #Hmm... if this works out good enough to later post on AO3 I'll need to remember to add that option.#(I'm afraid the plot is deteriorating though.)#(And I can't figure out how to End a path. This could go on forever. ...Especially if you guys keep shifting the plot.)#It's kind of fun though. You guys sometimes come up with such weird ideas.#...I'm not sure how long s post can be before I should add a Keep Reading/Read More break.

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applestorms · 1 year

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if you consider the ways in which dirk & jake parallel one another in their (attempts to be) embodiment(s) of the Ideals of Masculinity, ultimate dirk being portrayed visually as super buff is actually really fitting?

like: dirk and jake both try to take on a few key Masculine™️ traits they see as ideals, but seem to naturally embody the inverse of one another. or basically: dirk is way more adept physically but tries to present himself as hyper intelligent & this mastermind pulling all the strings when in reality he’s more of a puppet than the puppet master. this is not to say that he’s stupid, his interest in history (and plato, if we’re to interpret the Timaeus part of timaeusTestified that way) and rose-adjacency is evidence against that, but even just in comparison to the other people he grows up with (AR, the cals, and, yes, jake) he doesn’t have the same kind of quasi-omniscience necessary to really keep up. it’s not a coincidence to me that dirk’s role in a lot of his major flashes is largely physical too, and specifically spurned on/directed by other people (synch/unite was conceived of by AR, prince of heart rise up was advised by callie, etc.)

jake, on the other hand, very clearly tries to take on the role of a dumb jock action hero like in his favorite movies, but his true strength seems to really come from his intelligence, and to some degree charisma (though that’s got a big * attached to it and is also kinda part of that intellect). i think it’s more well known by now, but though jake hides it well his intelligence seems to be practically on the level of AR and other such mostly omniscient-narrator types. this is, ironically, most obvious in how brain ghost dirk provides jake with information he in his own words “has no business knowing,” to the point that aranea even asks him how tf he figured out that his name is connected to lord english the Big Bad. he also figures out AR directed synch/unite almost immediately upon getting dirk’s head and manipulates jane into friendzoning herself so he doesn’t have to reject her etc. etc. watch the optimistic duelist jake english series on youtube

i really like the interpretation of lord english as being basically just patriarchy, violent and active and non-stop aggressive but also the powerful shadow leader of a gang and wealthy beyond belief. it really vibes with the most key queer elements of the comic imo, not just in terms of relationships but greater themes too, like how hussie is comedically against the concept of heterosexual reproduction in homestuck to the point of fucking absurdity.

so it makes sense in my mind that dirk & jake, as the human kids closest to caliborn himself that he explicitly latches onto, both are and try to embody these Masculine™️ traits in one way or another. this is really a key part of their Dualisms to me, and since homestuck is way into duality especially by the time we get to the cherubs i think that dichotomy is important.

moving this forward to ult. dirk, iirc a lot of his actions are actually pretty physical (kidnapping rose, all that shit about worldbuilding or whatever which in retrospect might be tied to the timaeus thing too idr). ult dirk is pretty clearly influenced by lord english too, likely in the fact that combing all iterations of Dirk also probably involves taking bro strider (influenced by the “filled” lil cal) and AR (possibly even in the form of the arquius that made up LE), which fits the whole pretending to be the puppeteer but actually not in control at all thing he’s got going. what i’m really interested in, however, is how this ties into the concept of an ultimate jake, especially when considering how the hope aspect might influence him there in comparison to dirk’s heart aspect and splinters influencing his ultimate self. (also: BGD seemingly not being included in the ultimate dirk still fucking stands out to me. good lord i hated the epilogues and hs^2 but i still read so much of that shit why past astro why did you do that to yourself.)

edit: forgot to mention this, but it might be interesting to reread some of the meat timeline’s dirk dialogue w/ the thought of how his taking on of the narration itself might be causing him to be influenced by the other characters just as much as they’re influenced by him? e.g. w/ the whole controlling davekat to get their shit together thing, how much of that is dirk controlling dave and karkat and how much is dirk being influenced by dave and karkat’s subconscious thoughts. might not be anything, dirk in the original comic is mostly just influenced by the quasi-omniscient beings i mentioned earlier, but him slowly getting puppeted by everyone not just LE’s influence is an interesting thought to entertain

#literal 1 am thoughts don’t come at me if this isn’t coherent #i might clean this up and add actual citations later but i don’t have a computer rn so that’ll have to wait #also none of this is necessarily new but i wanted it all together as i keep thinking about this shit #get ready for more essays ig is what i’m saying lol #ugh now i’m tempted to read more plato too but also UGH i kind of hate plato srry #if anyone has thoughts on the connection between jake & rose thematically pls send an ask or dm or something #btw #hs #dirkjake #astronaut rambles

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why-is-it-always-autumn · 2 years

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As someone who reads a lot of crossover fic, the one piece of advice I wish I could beam into every aspiring crossover fic writer’s brain is “it doesn’t have to be canon compliant”.

I mean that in two ways:

1. If one of the settings canonically references the other as fictional, and you want to write a fic where they take place in the same universe, you don’t have to include that as canon. Pretend that line/episode/whatever never happened, or happened differently enough to not create extra problems for no reason. Include the change in an author’s note if it bothers you to think that your readers might not realize you know about this. If the change was necessarily big enough (an entire episode that relied on [thing that isn’t fictional in this crossover setting] being fictional) have the characters briefly discuss the AU version of the event. Don’t talk about the original version if you don’t want to break suspension of disbelief

2. If the fic diverges from a specific point in one or both settings, and over the course of the fic the characters grow, develop, and learn things that put them in a wildly different position than they were canonically, such that they cannot reasonably rejoin canon in time for the next book/episode/movie/whatever, you don’t have to give them all amnesia. The canon can diverge! It’s fine! Write an epilogue where later events happened differently because of what they learned from the crossover!

There’s nothing wrong with canon compliant fic (especially if it’s backstory, post-canon, part of a really episodic “we meet people and we move on” setting, set during a time skip, and/or involving side characters who spend a lot of time offscreen doing who knows what), but if you have to wrestle with your fic to keep it canon compliant on both sides you can easily just... not do that. It can be canon compliant for one setting but not the other. It can be canon compliant for neither setting! Canon is a guideline, not a shackle. Focus on writing a story that’s satisfying on its own.

#again there is absolutely nothing wrong with canon compliant fic #ive read some really good fics that work by recontextualizing later canon #and it adds such a great layer of irony/tragedy/humor/whatever #and if you either make that your plan from the beginning and keep it in mind the whole time #or realize 'oh you know what i could do?' and start moving your pieces into place midway through writing the fic thats great!#but you dont have to #because 'everyone forgot and no one learned anything and nothing changed'#is kind of a bummer of an ending when it comes out of nowhere #especially for a longfic #but thats just my opinion #fanfic #writing #advice

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lannisterdaddyissues · 1 year

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I just thought of something...You love the idea as Maverick and Ethan as twins right? Well, I just remembered that at the end of the movie "Cocktail",, also starring Tom Cruise as Brian Flanagan, Jordan (Elisabeth Shue) tells him that they're expecting twins.

So what if Brian Flanagan was Ethan and Maverick's father...?

hey that’s true!!! i absolutely do love the idea of ethan and mav as twins, idk how but in my brain it has become canon LOL i am going to be in for such a rough minute when dead reckoning comes out and mav is not there 😭

but omg i forgot about that little tidbit at the end of cocktail!! i can see it happening, and honestly it’d be kind of funny that they’re both like, these big shots in their respective fields and then their dad was just some guy who tended bar lmao

we ended up keeping duke as their dad in the end, though it would be very interesting if they both ended up being adopted, and neither duke nor ethan’s canon father were actually their bio dad 👀

#however if u read the latest chapter of like oreos we ended up keeping duke as their dad #i love the idea that he was an imf agent it adds a whole extra layer of mystery and depth to his death #and we may or may not have plans to tie it into canon later 😏#ask #reply #scottishaccentsareawesome #mutual #also sorry i took so long to reply to this!! i forgot i had asks in my inbox #im gonna go thru some of them now

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antique-forvalaka · 2 years

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Oke there's some incredible meta in this fandom etc etc

but please for the love of all that you consider holy:

Use the fucking 'read' more divider!!!

My thumb hurts so much from scrolling past all these long-ass meta posts on mobile that i've read 3 times already. My dudes, my friends, i love yall but spare my arthritic joints i beg of you

#kinnporsche #also FYI #posts split up by the read more feature will always open the post version on your blog upon clicking #which means that if you have any typos or changes you add later #they will be included in a read more reblog #but not in a normal post reblog that doesnt contain a read more #thats how i keep all my links in the colour meta up to date #stg my thumb hurts so much #kp meta #kinnporsche meta

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