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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 2 months

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Take me.

Note: a tiny little story to help with the drought😮‍💨

Warnings: 18+! fluff/smut.

pairing: Sihtric x you (f)

summary: you and Sihtric were reunited after a battle.

wordcount: 653

Masterlist

Sihtric's mismatched eyes were glazed over. His lips curled into a dazed smile while his rough, warm hands wandered your bare skin as you laid underneath him. His body weight pleasantly pressed onto you as he was positioned between your thighs. His hair was dishevelled, after your fingers had tugged his braids when you felt the warmth of his lips onto yours, kissing you intensely and deeply until he had you undressed and picked up in his arms, carrying you to the bed.

The warrior had missed you, his wife, immensely when he had been away to fight what would be unbeknownst to you both his last battle, for peace was within close range. As soon as he had returned home on horseback and his eyes had landed on you in the cheering crowd, he dismounted and allowed you to leap into his arms. You had buried your face in his neck and your fingers curled around his leather armour. Sihtric; your husband, your sanctuary and the keeper of your heart had returned to you without any grave injuries, and no more time was wasted. No words were spoken for your eyes told each other everything one needed to know, and your lips immediately locked into a fiery kiss, pouring out the happiness and relief of being reunited again.

And now Sihtric gazed down into your eyes as he was on top of you, unclothed and scarcely covered by the warm furs. His hot, ragged breath feelable on your face while his tattooed fingers tenderly brushed over your warm cheeks. He then leaned in and kissed softly underneath your ear, his tongue stroking your skin in between teasing kisses and kittenish nibbles, dragging his lips down to your pulse point. Your breath hitched when he sank his teeth delicately in your neck, marking you with his endless love while he teased your folds with his arousal, readying you to take him after being separated for far too long.

His growls sounded low and heavy in your ear, making you tremble with anticipation and desperate to feel him inside you and to be as close as you can possibly be, never wanting to let him leave you ever again. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his neck, inhaling his earthly scent as he lifted your leg and hooked it around his waist.

'I missed you,' he breathed in your ear and bit the soft skin.

'And I missed you,' you murmured against his shoulder, 'I love you.'

'I love you more,' Sihtric whispered, to which you softly protested.

He chuckled in your ear, and you gasped when he abruptly sheathed inside you and kept still, wanting to feel your walls clench around him. You mewled, desperately, begging him to move. But Sihtric took pleasure in hearing you beg for him and he wanted to hear more before he would give you what you wanted.

'Please, Sihtric,' you rasped, 'give me more.'

'More?' he laughed quietly, his lips grazing your ear as he spoke while he moved with slow, deep strokes, 'you want more?' he murmured.

'Please,' you begged and clawed his muscular back.

'Please,' Sihtric mocked, lovingly, 'you're so sweet when you beg for me,' he whispered and pushed hard inside you.

He stilled inside you again and hummed softly, watching you with a satisfied grin as you almost cried out for him.

'So beautiful,' Sihtric whispered, smiling, and he pecked your lips, 'so desperate for me,' he kissed your lips again, then grabbed your chin and his eyes darkened, 'I will give you more, my love,' his voice soft and playfully threatening, 'but I don't want to hear you whine that it's too much. I know you can handle me,' he murmured against your lips and chuckled again, 'mhm, and you will take me all the way, like the good and devoted wife that you are for me.'

taglist: @foxyanon @alexagirlie @sihtricsafin @neonhairspray @gemini-mama @lexwolfhale @sigtryggrswifey @skyofficialxx @djarinsgirl27 @m-a-s-h-k-a @verenahx @mrsarnasdelicious @diiickbrainn @little-diable @maii777 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @dixie-elocin @elle4404 @bubblyabs @ylvie50 @succnfuccubus @hb8301 @willowbrookesblog @apolloanddaphnis

If you want to be added/removed from the taglist, message me 🖤

#i had a shitty day and a weird mental week #i am going to rearrange my furniture now before i go insane #this may be the only fic i'll post until next week #i'm really struggling atm no matter how badly i want to write.. it's just not working out #surprised i managed to get this written tbh #anyway #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #tlk #sihtric #sihtric x you #sihtric x reader #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fic #idk what the planets are doing rn but can they stop making me feel awful and hating everything i write #and can my adhd demon stop lurking bc i am exhausted. it's that time were even my meds are not working well enough at moments #maybe i need a break #maybe i need a good [censored]#who knows #just make it stop i beg 🥲#and also those posts that are going around again about reblogs vs likes???#yeah that's a real mood #part of my struggle atm is hugely influenced by the lack of interaction lately and i hate that it affects me #i just really feel like my writing is shit lately and am constantly comparing it to others #not to be a cry baby lmao i'm just *deep sigh* feel like i'm losing it?????

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macroglossus · 3 months

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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

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neonpigeons · 1 year

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idk if there's actually a word for this but I get like. frustrated when I know I want to get up and do something but I literally cannot stop looking at my phone. like I could just be sitting and scrolling and I'm just getting SO MAD. like I don't want to be doing it anymore but also the steady stream of dopamine is holding me

#UGH this is what i get for not having my adhd meds #they only let me get 20 pills for a month so i can't take it every day #so i guess i just have to feel insane!!#i am also making a conscious effort to cut down on screen time before anyone asks. i know it's not just the adhd #tho that is making it worse ofc #hopefully sleep will fix me lol goodnight #ari speaks

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biolums · 1 year

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nothing says college life like the fact that i stopped taking my adhd meds recently and im enjoying having an actual appetite (read i am. eating way. too much) but as soon as spring break is over im going to take it again not because theyre. yknow my adhd meds but bc i will once again buying my own groceries and i dont have the money to fund this huge appetite

#i am eating my mom out of her house. like its insane #does. does this need a tw i can add one if someone wants one #jace.txt #it sucks bc they do make me more productive but my brain just feels so much. clearer. idk #adhd meds suck !!!!!

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neverendingford · 3 months

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#tag talk #they're putting me on mood stabilizers cause they don't want me to kill god 😔#I'll see how I feel. I get to decide whether it works for me or not of course. feeling manic is fun but maybe not ideal #very hard to get things done when I can't slow down enough to do them. also hyperactivity fucks up my stomach so bad.#I've been listening to my insane-mood playlist for the past week which is way longer than usual #if it were only a day or so I wouldn't have said anything but it's been a while so it's significant enough to bring up #I just found out this morning I have to put in for refills myself which I was like oops cause I'm almost out #but I'm getting them refilled before I leave today. all except the estradiol cause I need Dr authorization for that so I need to see #see if I need to schedule a follow up to get that refilled or if I can just message her and request that refill #also I need a follow up to check my hormone levels they just didn't schedule me a follow up at all so I need that done #thanks tumblr for teaching me what I need to know about hrt so I can make sure my medical professionals do their jobs right #I still need to call about dental and ice needed to since November but eh. I've been brushing and flossing to put off the dentist #I think I'll do that today hopefully. it's on my list to do so we'll see if I get to it or not.#it's nice that I can put in for my refills though. my last place just refilled automatically and I told my Dr to stop prescribing trazadone #but she just kept prescribing it for my sleep even though it fucked up my sleep so I stopped taking it #but I kept picking it up cause I didn't know I could just not pick it up and get it sent back but I ended up with five bottles #and was like bro please stop giving this to me. so it's nice that I can control my refills myself #plus I got told to take my adhd meds twice a day but I'm a lightweight so I only take it once a day so I don't need a refill of that yet #the proper term for lightweight is “sensitive to medication” but let's face it I'm sensitive in general lmao #blah blah. feeling great today will prolly go home and work out to rid myself of this god-killing energy then shower then make phone calls

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cinnamonest · 1 year

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Hello all. Sorry for my radio silence until now, here's a half-vent-post, half-update-post for the mess I have going on.

So, my second doctor's appointment... I am very grateful to have a wonderful employer who let me take some time off, so since I've been not great, I've gone to stay with my parents for the week.

I am experiencing what I was told is something called "polydipsia," which I can only describe as something I would come up with if I were asked to devise a new method of psychological torture. It's the sensation of intense, constant thirst, but drinking water doesn't do anything. Like, you know how normally when you're super thirsty and drink water, you feel a sensation of relief when you drink water? That doesn't happen. When you swallow and put the glass down, the thirst is just as intense as it was before you drank, it just... does nothing. You just stay insanely, incredibly thirsty, nonstop, and there is nothing you can do, no amount of drinking makes the sensation go away, but you keep getting the urge to drink because that's what your brain compels you to do.

It was mild at first, now it's reached a point that I'm chugging bottles of water, just nonstop, can barely sleep due to thirst. I know it could be so much worse and a lot of people have much worse things and this is minor by comparison, and I'm very grateful this isn't painful, but it's driving me insane. Just the constant sensation that you're trying to fix but nothing alleviates it at all despite trying is frustrating in a way I cannot describe and it's slowly worn me down to the point of psychological exhaustion.

Apparently, this may be due to some kidney issue. If so that means basically all that water I'm drinking, is actually not being absorbed by my body, my kidneys do nothing, so basically it's as if I'm not drinking at all. So, effects of dehydration as well.

At first with the urgent care doctor I went to initially, I was told that I am not diabetic due to blood sugar normal levels and that I had a kidney problem I needed to see a specialist for. Then I finally got an appointment with the primary care doctor, who said that may be incorrect because diabetes would easily explain the polydipsia. However, the last blood sample they took for lab work they did a few days ago came back and it turns out, once again, I am in fact NOT diabetic.

They drew even more blood and did a series of extensive fluids tests, basically measuring the contents by electrolyte, so I would get updates of lab results sent to me reading like "potassium - normal" and "chloride - normal" etc etc as they test each component. Everything kept coming back as being at normal levels until it hit sodium, and then for some reason, sodium and only sodium got flagged as being imbalanced.

I may have "diabetes insipidus", I'll just have to wait for testing results.

Unfortunately, with comically impeccable timing, I needed wisdom teeth taken out as it's apparently already begun to undo my previous expensive orthodontic work, so I just got out of wisdom tooth surgery yesterday. However, since I have ADHD meds (which are amphetamines) flowing through my body, they put me under general anesthesia rather than laughing gas.

So it's done, my mouth is stuffed with gauze, I'm numb with opioids for the gaping holes in my gums, I feel like a pincushion with the number of needles that have been stuffed in me in the last 72 hours, but it's done and hopefully I won't need anything more.

#i am so grateful my employer made this easy and was so understanding i love her #a few years ago at my old job i nearly got fired because i had to be rushed to the hospital and thus missed work #'we expected you to be there and you didn't show? you didn't even call me to let me know?'#like oh right my bad sorry for being unconscious #also on the bright side being given anesthesia rather than laughing gas means I didnt have that embarrassing loopy post-surgery phase #however i was still very like spacey and dizzy and disoriented while waking up which isnt quite the same but #the lady was like 'here's your jacket you can put it back on now' and I said 'thank you' and immediately dropped it on the ground #or so my mother recalled to me #sorry miss nurse

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paracosmicparadox · 11 months

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So, I'm falling back into the FFXV kick, and I have decided that I disapprove of how little complex character development Square Enix has given the guys?? Like where is the emotional depth beyond surface-level cutscene angst?? So I took matters into my own hands and have compiled a handy little list of headcanons / expanded canons that I think make sense.

Noctis: Has clinical insomnia and frequent lucid dreams (sorta a given, but bear w me bear w me)

Feels the weight of having to take so much on from such a young age much, much more than he lets on

Loves to argue

Would've been happier if he and Luna stayed as childhood best-buds rather than betrothed fiancés (controversial, ik, but it just didn't seem like he cared that much for her romantically to me?? Like he obviously cared about her, but it seemed like a really strong penpal vibe rather than a "We're-gonna-get-married-and-be-the-next-hotshot-couple" vibe. If you disagree, coolio, I'm not gonna debate w you on this one)

Has a natural sadness to his eyes regardless of what he's feeling

Went through an anime phase (possibly still in his anime phase, idk)

Social anxiety for the win

Severe RBF

Prefers tea over coffee (black tea is best---particularly lavender earl grey)

Can play the cello (practicing tho?? Don't know her)

Writes the most beautiful poetry when The Motivation™ strikes him (usually when he's home sick and half-delirious)

Prompto: Has ADHD and clinical anxiety, but is undiagnosed and doesn't take any meds for either of them.

Is legit like SO SMART, but can never focus, so not many people take any notice

Wears contact lenses (he had glasses as a child and I refuse to believe he had some high-tech corrective surgery to eliminate the need for them when lenses are cheaper and less risky)

Doesn't drink caffeine because it makes him jittery

Doesn't drive the Regalia when the guys are around because having other people in the car distracts him from the road. Also he tends to drive like a speed demon, which worries Ignis to no end.

Sunburns insanely easily

Could legit become a hitman if he wanted to with the amount of gun-knowledge he has. It doesn't matter what firearm you put in this boy's hand---pistol, SMG, sniper, rocket launcher, you name it. He can and will hit the target every single time.

Addicted to adrenaline

Pansexual

Has a lot of self-loathing (we see a bit of this in Ep. Prompto) and talks with an online therapist about it via text whenever his lows hit him. He's making great progress in learning how to heal and how to accept himself for who he is beyond the mask he wears for others

Ignis: More than a little bit of a control freak, and works very hard not to be too overbearing or critical about his friends' misgivings

Hypochondriac

Wants to protect everyone all the time and mentally kicks himself when he doesn't get there fast enough

Is SO PROUD of Noctis's journey and felt a stronger hatred towards Ardyn than anyone else in the group for what he forced Noct to go through (he stayed up at night sick to his stomach with hollow rage and baked nonstop to take his mind off of it)

Can verbally obliterate a man, but only rarely chooses to do so bc he's classy like that

After losing his eyes, he notices so much more beauty in the world than he used to (the sound of rain on the Regalia's roof, the specific gait of each of his friends, the smell of salt on the wind in Galdin Quay, the flawless feel of one specific silk tie he has in his repertoire, etc)

His internal compass is never wrong

Regularly takes antacids for his stomach

Has the straightest teeth you've ever seen

Demiromantic

Gladio: Hates being wrong: it's his way or the highway

Actually so much smarter than the musclehead jock front he puts up

A little vain and easily jealous (this man has a Jealous Face like no other)

Thunderstorms are his favorite; his ideal place to be is at a campsite, during a storm, with a well-worn book and a mug of Irish coffee in hand

Would throw himself in front of a bus for any one of his friends

Would beat up kids for the folks he cared about in middle school and spent the time he wasn't training to be a Crownsguard sitting in detention with the most unrepentant, smug, and-I'd-do-it-again look scrawled across his face

Can make a better smoothie than anyone (except maybe Iggy)

Spotify junkie

Had a dinosaur phase as a kid and can still name random facts about them whenever the opportunity presents itself

Avid technology-hater and only has a phone to make calls and join the others in playing King's Knight since they begged him so profoundly (he's sure the thing's going to be his downfall)

Gets most of Prompto's pop culture references

#prompto #noctis #ff15 #noctis lucis caelum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #ffxv #headcanon

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tvhostfromhell · 2 months

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I see the ADHD Vox hcs and the Vox and Valentino coked out of their minds in the 70s and 80s hcs and but has anyone written considered.. ADHD Vox and amphetamines hcs yet?

ADHD Vox trying speed once or twice in life during the 50s and being sorely disappointed. He was promised an insane energy high and he just feels.. fine? Pretty focused, actually. Like, he could get a lot of shit done. Which, neat trick. He'll still use it, but this is not what he was pitched.

Vox who drinks coffee not because it's ever been that great at waking him up, but because he likes the taste. Mostly drinks it out of habit, especially in hell. He gets introduced to energy drinks and it's a similar deal. He's really into some of the flavors but is usually pretty unimpressed with the "energy boost" claims. Actually, sometimes caffeinated drinks do the opposite and making him fkn drowsy.

Valentino singing coke's praises in the 70s and Vox saying fuck it, sign me up for a good time. Rinse and repeat his experience with speed in the 50s. Val is having a fucking great time. Meanwhile, Vox took twice as much as Val did and is thoroughly underwhelmed. They might even have a fight over it, Vox accusing Val of giving him "weak" or "faulty" goods.

Vox stays on the coke train in the 70s and 80s, mind you, but he thinks everyone else is way overhyping the effects. Or maybe it just hits him different because he's literally built different (AKA like a TV), fuck it, who knows. Val seems to be having a good time and he's about to be so fucking efficient after this bump–

Decades later, Velvette hearing about this like.. Oh, that makes sense.. because you have ADHD.

Vox: what the fuck did you just call me

Velvette: did you seriously not connect the dots, old man? have you not seen the millions of memes about ADHD meds being Meth Lite™

Vox:

Vel:

Vox: Wait��

Val: I fucking told you that my shit was good–

Vel: jfc you two are idiots

Cue Val dragging up every time Vox accused him of providing shitty product in the 70s and Vox retaliating by pulling some rant about "well your fkn drugs not working on people with ADHD means missing out on an entire demographic of potential clients" out of his ass. They bitch at each other until Vox takes a soft right into elevator pitches about something something people's neurodivergent status something drugs before Val can think long enough about his argument to poke holes in it.

#vox headcanon #the Vees #valentino hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #vox hh #velvette hh #valentino hh #hcs #vibes – vox coded™ 📺#edit: imagine me grammar checking before i fkn post

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not-poignant · 6 months

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Question! You juggle so many projects at once, and I think that's awesome. Do you have any advice for how you stay motivated (and/or organized) to work on so many different things? If I'm inspired by something, I want to focus on That Thing and Only That Thing — I have a really hard time pulling my brain away to work on other projects.

I'm wondering if a schedule would help? How do you even set your schedule?

This is a lot of questions packed into one ask, I realize — I guess I'm just in awe of your NaNoWriMo progress (you are insane (affectionate)) and want to pick your brain about your process a little.

Hope you have a lovely day!

Honestly anon, we all have our ways of writing, and it's best if you stick to what actually works for you instead of forcing yourself to do something different.

I'd recommend looking into some of the coaching / videos / podcasts by Becca Syme. A lot of it is simply based around accepting who you are, instead of forcing yourself to write like other people. Part of that is finding your strengths, but some of it is simply...being like 'okay, I'm like this as a writer.'

I don't write lots of projects because I taught myself to, but because I love doing it. I write more when I work on more projects. If I forced myself to only focus on one thing I'd feel stifled and held back, I'd write slower, and I actually think my writing would be muddier and less good.

Other people do best and write fastest when they're focusing on only one project at a time.

And which kind of person you are anon is something you'll figure out over time. Though it sounds like you might already know.

If you wanted to try working on multiple projects, I'd look at adding just one more into the rotation and seeing how it feels. Does it make you write more? Does it make you want to write more? Is it pulling focus? Is it making you lose inspiration on the other story? It's not so much a scheduling issue as it is simply...which one gets the words out?

The goal isn't to become like me as a writer, just like my goal isn't to become like other writers. The goal is to get your words out in the way that works best for you. If that's slowly, that's amazing. If that's fast, that's great, and while there are techniques you can try, it should always be with a view to respecting your organic process.

Many writers quit, or burnout, as soon as they stop respecting that process, or when they start feeling ashamed of their natural process and put pressure on themselves to do it another way.

Also I'll be honest, I'm working on too many projects right now and even though I'm loving it, I know it's too many. Like, I've deprioritised Underline the Red for my own sanity, and I am actually really looking forward to clearing a couple of stories from the schedule so I can focus on other things. About 3-4 stories is my sweet spot.

I don't exactly 'stay organised' anon. I actively want to work on all of these stories. And tonally they're all different, so if I feel like something more wholesome, or something darker, or something more pornographic, I have options. I do have a monthly kind of idea of what I should be working on (i.e. based on the upcoming schedule), but I can only really do that thanks to ADHD meds and I'm cautious of recommending techniques that I personally can only access and make use of because medication has fixed some of my executive dysfunction issues. If you're playing with any kind of unmedicated ADHD, there are tools that won't be as useful without tangible medical or therapeutic support. D:

I set my writing schedule via a mix of the writing that makes me money, alongside extra writing that I enjoy that doesn't make me money. Ideally I enjoy all of it and it's all fun. But the stuff that makes me money has to come first, because of like...life reasons. Idk where you're at professionally, or even if you want to do this professionally, and that would profoundly influence how I'd even suggest scheduling. If you don't have to schedule your writing, don't do it! If you don't have to make decisions like this, then don't make them!

Also, if I hated any of these stories, I'd put the story on hiatus. I don't believe in writing stuff I hate or resent writing. I know other people can make themselves do this and I'm glad that works for them, but I can't do it and I just...yeah. I have to love the story and enjoy it and not resent it to see it through, it's probably why there's so much drama happening all the time, and angst, I'm keeping my dumb hurt/comfort brain engaged lmao.

Never underestimate the power of also just 'I've been doing this for 10 years and I'm very practiced at stuff that other people will only learn with years of practice.' Some of this stuff doesn't have shortcuts, it just had a lot of time and 5 million words sunk into it. When I first started writing on AO3 I wrote one story at a time (though I did quickly become bored of that and moved to two). I wasn't making money. I didn't have a schedule for 9 years. I didn't want one.

The things I've learned... my wordcounts are reliable because I've just had a lot of practice writing. Unfortunately there's no trick to that, beyond sitting down and writing. The more you do, the more you learn about your own process and respect it, the more you write the stories you love, the better you'll get. And I've had times where I've burnt out, times where I've needed long breaks, times where I pushed too hard or forced myself to be like other writers and ended up wondering if I'd quit.

I want to give you easy answers, but the easiest one I have is - which way of writing brings you the most joy? Which way makes the words flow? Is it just one story at a time? That's great - that's your way. That might change in time, but don't force it to. You can experiment like a scientist and try different things, but be compassionate and accepting of whatever your innate way of doing things is.

I struggled so much with the fact that serials is just my way in a world of novelists. I cannot tell you how much misery it has brought me, trying to force myself to be a dedicated novelist when I always just wanted to write sequential stories live. And I really thought I was doing things wrong and you know, other authors thought I was doing things wrong.

It turned out I wasn't, but self-acceptance of my own methods and style went a long way in that process.

You might not like this response anon, and I apologise for not actually just lining up a schedule for you to try (I don't listen to my own schedules), but...it's okay to be someone who works on one story at a time. Or two stories only. I actually think it's awesome, and my writer-friend in my writer's group whose work I've been helping beta for years is a 'single project at a time' writer and a *rewriter* (no one wishes they could change their process as much as rewriters imho) and her writing is amazing. Like, incredibly good. (That's Stephanie Gunn by the way, for anyone who wants to read some cool science fiction / gothic fantasy).

So that's her process, and it's an amazing one, because it creates the writing that it does. Whatever your natural process is, anon, it's okay to write that way, trust me.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #idk if i am well-equipped to teach anyone anything about writing #but i do know that respecting your way #the way that makes the words flow most #is the way forward #experimentation is fun #but never try and make yourself be a different kind of writer #because down that path lies burnout and just...losing some love for it #maybe one day i'll go back to working on one project at a time!#whatever is right in the moment is the process i follow sdlkjfsa

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zvezdacito · 1 year

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Convo with my mutuals from the other day led me to making a list of Twisted Wonderland characters who possibly have ADHD/are ADHD-coded and what their symptoms and traits are (featuring art from me cause i just pulled this from my instagram story lmao)🔥

⚠️ Obligatory disclaimer tho so that the 'you make everything ""normal"" about adhd these days to feel special' and anti self-dx people don't come after me😭

Do not used this list to diagnose yourself, do extensive research before going to a professional to get officially diagnosed. I have ADHD and this list is from my own experiences + what I've researched about it, but it won't be perfect nor apply to everyone as every person is different. And as will be mentioned later on, there are many other neurological conditions, such as autism, bipolar, and even schizophrenia, that on the surface have many similar symptoms to adhd depsite having different causes. Getting diagnosed right is important to receive proper treatment and advice for coping, so people who get misdiagnosed usually end up in worse places than before because they receive the wrong meds of follow the wrong advice. Unfortunately, in women it is common to be misdiagnosed with other conditions before adhd, and also vice versa. You need a professional to get officially diagnosed, but there isn't enough research on many of these conditions, and many doctors are shockingly ableist and irresponsible and just conflate and interchange these conditions with each other😭

And for the flip side of people reading this, be considerate to self-diagnosers and ppl who just want to have fun with headcanons. As you can see, getting officially diagnosed is insanely difficult if you don't have the stereotypical presentation or you are a racial, sexual and of course economic minority. Minorities who come forth and try to get diagnosed are more likely to be dismissed or accused of just lying or being too paranoid. And your fave characters being headcanoned as not neurotypical isn't gonna hurt anybody😭 They can still be intelligent, scheming, charming and handsome even if they have adhd or whatever condition. Many of these HCs are because we lack explicitly confirmed, respectful or positive representation in media

Riddle Rosehearts

•needs rules and rigid structure, because without them he has no idea what choices to make and feels lost on what he should do

•hyperfocuses on work and duties usually related to these rules

•RSD, hates being criticized

•excessive talking and sometimes interrupts others, his impatience sometimes makes him not so understanding to the other party of the communication

•big dysregulated emotions, easily and extremely angered

•can be gullible and believe words literally like when he believed Trey's pastry recipe actually included oyster sauce (this isn't in the image but the way he implements rules can also be something that proves his black and white/literal thinking)

Azul Ashengrotto

•RSD, goes out of his way to take preventive measures against things he thinks will make people mock and criticize him again since the feeling of rejection hurts too much

•seems to also have had big emotions and cried a lot as a kid, probably just masking now to look strong

•hyperfocus during board games

•takes time and lots of planning to be able to bring himself to start/do tasks, rarely goes into things without a plan or two (this is why ADHDers procrastinate a lot)

•likes doing multiple things at once using his many octopus tentacles

•bit of a stretch, but it is possible that some of little Azul's "big appetite" was just adhd boredom. For ADHDers sometimes feelings of hunger and boredom are mixed up, and we eat not because we are starving but because eating is something you can direct ur focus and energy through, which makes not bored while doing it. This is why some adhders overeat and have higher vulnerability to substance abuse.

(No one asked but minus the overeating his presentation is very similar to my brother's😂)

Kalim al Asim

One of the characters people more commonly think of when someone brings up twst characters who possibly have adhd, because his and Deuce were probably written with the most purposeful intent to be based off that, and because they have the more 'stereotypical' presentation people default to thinking of

•very scattered with his thoughts, clumsy

•struggles to pay attention and concentrate

•hyperactive

•impulsive, doesn't think things through too much before deciding to go and commit to a project just because it seemed fun or exciting (he gets dopamine from the hype and fun basically). Despite it starting out like that he is genuinely passionate about the things he does

•emotional, easily excited or brought to tears

•gullible

•high empathy, strong sense of justice and always tries to help others

•if you look at this through the perspective of him having RSD, he also goes out of his way to take preventive measures from people getting mad or upset at him (form of rejection), by overcompensating with hospitality and gift-giving and other stuff

•didn't put this in the image but like Deuce he may also have issues with processing information

Deuce Spade

•deuce tries his best to mask for his mom and be an organized model student, but is also clumsy and scatterbrained

•gullible, literal thinker

•impulsive, this is likely what got him into so many fights as a delinquent

•might also have emotional dysregulation, easily going into intense rages during delinquent days and sometimes even now when he forgets to mask it

•struggles with tasks that require too long and too much of thought, he says himself in Chapter 5 his strength is in resilience and stubbornness instead of thinking things through

•in this monologue he also mentions how 'even if he tries to think and read over and over again, it's still no use', meaning he probably has issues in processing information.

He can't absorb the information presented to him even if he tries to take it in over and over again, because the problem is not that he didnt listen its the typical presentation of information is inaccessible to ADHD and other ND brains. In chapter 5 Deuce accepts this about himself as not inherently a weakness but just something that is unique for him

•struggles to pay attention and concentrate too

•like many ADHDers Deuce probably has co-morbid dyscalculia

Malleus Draconia

This one is admittedly more of a reach and self indulgent, because he's my favorite character, I have many similar struggles with him and I really like the AuDHD/ADHDtism headcanon of him. He is canonically more autistic coded.

> this is less of just adhd and more him being autistic with adhd

> I read that it is a common experience for autistic ppl with adhd to sometimes feel like they're contradicting their own wants, needs etc and not knowing why before finding out they also have adhd. Such as contradictions in wanting to stick to what is familiar to feel safe and regulated but also wanting to experience new things for the rush

> So kinda like Malleus being used to his usual routine and supposedly being somewhat fine with it staying that way for who knows how much longer, admitting in Glorious Masquerade he struggled to muster up the courage to change from it after so long and leave the Valley, but he still yearns for many new experiences and fun regardless so he's glad he chose to do it. Much like many AuDHDers solution of making small changes in routine from time to time to keep both conditions satisfied. Woah‼️‼️💯

Other than this Malleus also has:

•poor time management in planning how much time he wanders around and how much to prepare to go to meetings (he ends up missing most meetings)

•time blindness, which contributes to this

•easily spacing and zoning out

•instances of inattentiveness and distractability

•complains about being bored instantly in several voicelines if I remember correctly

•emotional dysregulation resulting in violent and intense anger affecting even the weather

•Impulsivity, not thinking through before he acts on things (Halloween 2☠️ there are several other instances of this but usually a character explains to him why it isn't a good idea and he should stop before he completes doing it)

Most of these are also presentations in autism so both can happen in a person and seem same from the outside, the difference in which presentation is which depending on the motivation/cause of it

TLDR🌟 Malleus usually needs his set routines and sameness for the calm and stability but also the thrills of new, fun and impulsive things from time to time for epic brain dopamine. He only learned and accepted that he also needs the second part later on cause he knew about his autism before his adhd👍

Lastly, Floyd.

I know lots of people including me also headcanoned Floyd as an ADHDer. Tho looking at it more, outside of the superficial and stereotypical symptoms of being quick to boredom and emotional dysregulation, he doesn't really seem to struggle with organizing and doing tasks compared to the others listed.

In canon, he is more intended to be coded with Borderline Personality Disorder, which also affects one ability to regulate their emotions. BPD can be a comorbidity to ADHD, so that and the overlapping symptoms are probably what make lots of people headcanon him as ADHD

Tho Floyd may not be comorbid and have just BPD, the act of starting and doing tasks itself is not what's hard for him, but rather the emotions that affect what he chooses to do stops him from doing things and prompts him to decide on doing other things. And in general he just ticks off more BPD boxes than adhd

Tho there is no harm in HCing him as adhd. I myself hc him as that cause it's fun😎 Just that it probably isn't as intentional or there as many ppl think

Ok that's all I think🌟 Thank you for reading and if you have anything to add or think I missed anything/any characters feel free to tell me or RB this with it🔥 OK rambling over goodbye

#twst #adhd headcanons #riddle rosehearts #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #deuce spade #malleus draconia #ill post new art some other day fr just wait for me u guys😭😭😭

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adhdapp · 3 months

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Hello and welcome to ADHD app reviews!

I'm Casper, main blog @caspercryptid, and I test-run productivity apps. This is not a scientific process by any means, I'm not going to stop taking my meds and see if one app will fix me if used for a week straight, but I'm gonna hit a few key points

App Type: we have checklists, Gamified apps, Journaling, logging, phone usage control, and habit builders. I'll update this if I think of other types.

Red flags: is this a moneymaking scam? Is this app using an insane psuedoscientific philosophy? Is there heavy AI integration? Generally if an app hits any of these I'm not going to look at most of its other features too closely because it's not here to help you, it's doing some other insane things.

Dopamine hits: What in the app feels like a reward for using it? Why will you remember you installed this besides really annoying notifications?

Features: within the subtype, what are you Getting. What can you Do. And do the things you can do actually work.

Price: a lot of these apps will do a fun thing where they'll have a free trial and then hit you with a monthly billing. They tend to be either Subscription or Freemium, and I'll give you the prices and compare it to what I would consider reasonable

Polish: how easy is the app to actually Use. Does the way its set up lend itself to finding your way through it or are you constantly trying to figure out how it works.

Customization: can you use dark mode. Can you shift categories around for the weird weird life you live. If you're an alpaca farmer without a set schedule could you still make this app work for you. These are real questions.

Roadmap: is this app still being updated, does it seem like it's support team are responsive. This is important to me with apps that are getting subscriptions because for any recurring payment you REALLY need to know bugs will get fixed

Everybody needs different things out of their productivity apps, so rather than give a numerical scale I'm going to generally come to a conclusion that the app is Bullshit, Trying It's Best, or Certified. I'll probably fine tune that system. Learning as I go. Feel free to send me asks with apps you'd like me to check out!

#pinned post #info #adhd

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jellogram · 2 months

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Every time I learn anything new about my medications I want to kill my psychiatrist a little bit more. I just tried to check the drug interactions between my meds and some allergy pills. They don't interact with the allergy pills, but the combination of my prescriptions together is apparently really really dangerous. Which I was not told.

For context this woman refused to even discuss the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis until I went on these medications. And when I told her the SSRIs weren't working she doubled them. I was taking double the normal amount of SSRIs and an additional anti-depressant for sleep. I had no idea this was not normal. I felt so god-fucking-awful that I lowered my own dose enough to function but I was scared to go off them completely because everyone kept telling me I was batshit insane and needed to be on these drugs.

I'm tapering myself off the meds completely now, which is fucking horrible because I've been on them for years but after the withdrawal moods fade away I consistently feel better and better with each decrease.

Honestly? I don't think I even have depression. I think 99% of that and my anxiety symptoms are caused by ADHD emotional dysregulation and trauma. But since day one this woman was pushing pushing pushing SSRIs and other anti-depressants on me and didn't even let me take the fucking ADHD test until I acquiesced to all these drugs, and then I had to flat-out demand to be examined.

Surprise surprise I came back as super fucking ADHD, pretty severe ADHD actually, which I had been telling this lady for five fucking years while she insisted I actually just had mood disorders. And of course the fucking government makes it practically impossible to get adderall, so I'm still unmedicated, but that's not her fault specifically.

But now it turns out the combination of meds I've been on actually has a million side effects including worsening arrhythmia, which she knew that I already had genetically.

So... yeah I am never speaking to this woman again. I'm getting off these drugs and I'm never fucking looking back.

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