#i just really feel like my writing is shit lately and am constantly comparing it to others

[dizscreams]

Hi!! i love your writing! if you were taking requests i was if you could with chad? maybe something along the lines with the reader being insecure about herself? like chad is obviously a god in a mans body and she just feels like he needs someone better than her, so she starts to maybe pull back and change? thank you sm in advance :)

My Girl — Chad Meeks ★

PAIRING: Chad Meeks x Fem!reader

WARNINGS: lots of negative self talk and not thinking your good enough that kinda stuff but fluffy ending

A/N: kind of a long one, enjoy babes 🫡

You played with the rings on your fingers as you stared at the ceiling. Chad was out at a party that he dragged Ethan, Tara, Quinn, Anika, and Mindy too. You didn’t feel like going and muttered some excuse of not feeling well, though you were fine. Well physically at least, mentally you were struggling. You’ve felt so insecure and undeserving of love lately and you didn’t know how to bring it up with your boyfriend, Chad.

You sighed and rolled over, pulling the blanket over you, and looking at your phone. You’ve been refreshing your friend’s story all night and it only made you feel worse. Chad was always friendly, a bit too friendly, and what doesn’t help with that is that he’s also extremely oblivious. So he can’t really tell when another girl is flirting with him but you’ve been looking at it through other peoples stories and posts all night.

There’s this one girl that keeps talking and getting too close to him, touching him and whispering stuff in his ear, and she was gorgeous. You started to tear up thinking about it, sure maybe it was stupid, but it made you want to puke. You stood up and waddled over to the tall stand up mirror you had in the corner of your room. What hurt even more was that they’d look good together, way better than you and Chad. There was no hiding Chad was good looking, everyone knew it, everyone could see it. You always thought he deserved someone more.

But he chose you and he tells you that all the time. He wants you. It was enough to calm you down at the time until you heard some girls talking about it in the bathroom once. Talking about how Chad needed someone prettier and more popular and preppy, and all that dumb bullshit. You didn’t care about designers, or how many likes you got on an instagram post, you didn’t care about frat parties, any of that. That’s what drew Chad to you, you were so much different than the people he usually surrounded himself with and he liked it.

He liked how normal he felt around you, how carefree and loved he felt. He didn’t care what you looked like, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you’re breath taking. He adores you, he adores everything about you. You knew that cause he told you constantly. That boy is always showering you with compliments. So why wasn’t it enough for you anymore? Why did you constantly feel less than compared to him? You knew it wasn’t his fault. You wiped a few tears that had managed to fall down your cheeks and climbed back into bed. You ended up overthinking and crying yourself to sleep.

-

“Hellooo, I’m home!” Chad walked into the apartment and locked the door. “Y/n?” He tried calling for you again since he didn’t hear your voice. Maybe you were asleep? He curiously opened the door to your room and quietly entered. He saw you sleeping, phone in hand, and your face looked wet? He curiously got closer and examined your features, your cheeks were stained with tear streaks and your mascara was a mess. You’d definitely been crying. He frowned and looked at the time, 1 am. Shit, he was late again. He didn’t know if he wanted to wake you up or not.

You looked so peaceful. He decided to not wake you and instead gently wiped the tears and mascara off your pretty face and got dressed in more comfortable clothes before joining you in the bed. He wrapped his arms around your waist protectively and pulled you closer. He made a mental note to take you out on a nice date soon. Maybe you were crying cause you were stressed? You had complained about your classes and exams lately. That had to be it. He kissed your head and started to drift off to sleep. He’d talk to you about it tomorrow.

-

You groaned as you woke up to the blinding sun in your eyes. As you tried to get up you felt a force pull you back. You looked back to see your boyfriend asleep and remembered the events of last night. You wondered what time he ended up coming home. You were asleep by 12 so it had to be late. What kept him? Maybe he ended up doing something with that girl. But it’s Chad, he wouldn’t do that. Right? Your thoughts were interrupted by a yawn from Chad. He looked at you and smiled, “Hi baby.” You tried giving him a smile back, “Morning.”

He frowned at your coldness but didn’t say anything about it, “C’mon I’ll make you breakfast,” he said while standing up. “Okay,” you nodded and got up to walk towards the kitchen. He watched you walked away, not even a hug or a kiss for him? He stretched and went to the kitchen. You were sitting down at the table. “What are you hungry for?” You shrugged at the question, “I don’t know, it doesn’t matter.” He opened the cabinet and stared for a moment, deciding if he wanted to confront you about your attitude or not.

He sighed, “What’s gotten into you? Are you okay?” You looked at him with an expression he couldn’t read, “I’m fine.” He scoffed, “You’re obviously not fine. Just tell me what’s wrong, babe,” he said with a soft tone. He cared. He sounded like he cared. Just tell him, he’ll understand. Your thoughts raced and you bounced your foot up and down as your fingers tapped the table anxiously. “Last night. Did you do anything..with another girl?” You asked slowly, not meeting his gaze. Chad gaped at you. How could you think that?

Why would you think that? You trusted him didn’t you? “Are you serious?” His voice was louder than he intended, “How could you ask me that?” You bit your lip and stood up, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything-,” you try walking away but Chad quickly grabs your hand and pulls you back to him. You look up at him and he notices the tears that are rolling down your cheeks. “Hey hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” His gaze softens and he cups your cheeks. “I’m sorry I’m really sorry Chad.” He pulls you into a hug while you sob in his chest.

You broke. You don’t know why but you did. You could tell he was hurt by your words, you could tell he cared and that made you feel stupid. “Deep breaths. That’s it,” he rubbed your back in small circles, “Good, in and out.” You hold him tighter. You didn’t deserve him. He was so loving and kind even after you accused him of something like that. You still feel like you aren’t good looking enough for him but maybe you can talk to him about it. He takes note of your breathing slowing down a bit and he pulls away from you. “Why don’t we go sit on the couch, yeah?”

You nod and he takes your hand, leading you to the couch. He sits down and you sit down next to him. He wraps an arm around you and kisses your head, “Can you tell me what’s been bothering you lately?” He asks, his voice just above a whisper. You look at him teary eyed and let out a shaky breath, “I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” If you weren’t sitting right next to him Chad doesn’t think he’d be able to hear you. “What are you talking about?” He says looking at you concerned.

“You could have someone prettier than me. A lot prettier. All the girls on campus are gorgeous and they want you. So why did you choose me?” You ask curiously, meeting the baffled look on his face. “I chose you because I love you. I love everything about you. You’re funny, you’re kind, you’ve been there for me when I’ve needed you, you like the same nerdy shit I do,” you chuckle at his response but he keeps going, “You’re beautiful you know that? Everything about you. You will always be enough for me, I couldn’t give a fuck less about anyone else. Just you, you’re all I need,” he tells you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You give him a genuine smile and he nudges you playfully, “There it is. I love your smile,” he says before kissing you softly. You melt into the kiss and it’s then when you realize how much your boyfriend loves you. You pull back and kiss his cheek, “Thank you, I’m sorry for being dumb.” He shakes his head and laughs, “It’s okay. It’s my job to reassure you.” He kisses you again in the same gentle way as before and you wrap your arms around his neck.

He pulls back and kisses your head, then your cheeks, your nose, under your eyes, your neck, and then your lips again, making sure to add an exaggerated mwa sound at the end of each kiss. “Chad stop,” you giggle. He smiles and quickly kisses you again, “You’re just so pretty I can’t help it.”

one of my fun little late night fics 😙 goodnight everybody I’ll write smth tmr to make up for this weekend (hopefully)

#say it with me #not proofread!!! WOOO #scream 6 #chad meeks #chad meeks martin #chad meeks x reader #chad meeks martin x reader #dizzy writes?! 😵‍💫

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

personal rant/update under the cut

since about two weeks I'm taking less medication for my adhd. not because I want to, but because I was taking too much. I took a pill every two hours, and I continued that after I switched meds because it's same brand and basically the same dose too. But somehow I started to have unpleasant side effects like being dizzy and having terrible flare ups in my face. I've experienced the flares really badly during the a few moments at the Paris con, but I thought it was just nerves and excitement and what not. But it continued at the most random times when I was at home, doing fuck all, and I figured something was wrong. Apparently the flares are a sign of an overdose, so with a lot of struggling I cut down the amount I take and I have only experienced a flare up once the past two weeks, which is great. when I'm at work and at home moving around (read; not stuck in my head and actively moving without too much going on around me) I'm fine with taking less pills a day. But I am noticing in the evening that my lovely adhd demon is taking over again, and makes me feel like utter shit and question everything I do, especially when it comes to creativity. meaning; this blog. I love writing, but it's been hard lately as I struggle to make a good story (or so it seems to me) and even wonder if people still even care when it's not just a brainless smut fic, no matter how fun those are. and I knew a few of you do care, which is amazing, but these late night thoughts are gnawing and I am comparing my work to others and feeling I am not that good, or not that creative or I just have a bad way with words, whatever. I know it's all in my head, but this is the dark side of having adhd; the self hatred and self doubt. the knowing you are truly different and lacking some stuff up in the head. the wanting to cry for no reason at all because you're stuck in a body with something that is constantly fighting you and screaming at you to (self) sabotage everything in your life. and as much as I love poking fun at myself/my adhd, sometimes (often) it still eats me alive. and that is why I have been posting less lately, and I am sorry for that. I just fear people will hate every new thing I put out right now, for no reason at all. I know people will say don't be sorry, but that too is my adhd talking, so I had to say sorry. I do not need to take a break from here, as that will only make me spiral more. I write a lot, actually, and have a bunch of fics nearly ready to go, but I just hate half of what I wrote.

I'm not sure what the actual point of this post was but I guess this page is sometimes my diary too, so, uh... yeah. sorry again.

#guess I'm also just depressed bc the holidays are nearing idk #it's self loathing hours!!!!!!!! #the feral hours are more fun but we don't do those today

[n3rdb0x]

Invincible Verse

(I'm doing this cause i be doing things and am obsessed I've only seen the show. I'm gonna do real organization at some point soon but this will help myself)

Still unsure how to do it in general, like do I keep the stuff that happened before? Maybe they use dragonballs to keep stuff lowkey? Idk???

The important part of all this is that he's the Great Saiyaman still and tends to keep his normal persona far away from it at least as far as he can. Since he still doesn't want the media part of it he just really likes saving people. Assuming he'd be based out of Japan.

He'd be mostly a more independent hero as while he LOVES being a super hero but doesn't want it as his main job. (very similarly like how he can be considered a fighter in dbz but it's just when he has to cause he mainly is a scholar)

I'm sure certain government agencies would be keeping an eye on him given his strength and everything, they might even know about his dad given he is an alien and chances are they prooobably know?

He of course keeps up with news about other groups/heroes cause deep down inside he's a huge nerdy fanboy and has read many comics and yes he is very very influenced by Sentai but minus having a team since he works alone. Mostly due to his own social anxieties.

And yes he was messy as hell when he first started, a lot of his fights tended to be outside of cities and well, being the Great Saiyaman has taught him WHY those fights occurred outside of said cities (It takes him some time to truly get used to the whole collateral damage thing). He does constantly watch tapes of other heroes fighting in urban environments to get a feel though.

Far as how strong he is compared to characters on Invincible, uh... idk? I never got into the whole dbz power level fest stuff so I'm so damn willing to change shit cause ain't no way Gohan gonna upstage the main characters that would feel wrong?? BUT LIKE EITHER WAY the idea from this stems from my adoration of the Great Saiyaman part of dbz and how much i loved the fuck outta Invincible so yea.

THIS IS LIKE SUPER MESSY and I WILL get this shit fixed but it's late I should sleep. Still not sure how I want to do certain things but writing it down here helps my lil brain.

#ooc #invincible verse #this is just a prototype i guess #for gohan : ) )

[dollwrites]

BABE OMG I promise I havent been ignoring you or anything 😭 I think a while ago I was waiting for you to answer one of my asks but idk if it got ate or something and then I totally forgot to send another one LOL BUT IVE MISSED YOU TOO!!

But you know I do have to deeply apologize for something 😔 I am SO sorry for not introducing you to Griffith earlier 💔 I CANT BELIEVE YOU LOVE GRIFFITH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE TO ME!! Seriously Griffith has been in my top 3 fav anime characters for YEARS now like since I was a teen so you cant even imagine my shock when I came back to tumblr after like a months break and saw you were writing for him. I can confidently say that in my opinion Griffith is THE prettiest anime character ever like nobody compares to him, hes definitely my #1 fav on beauty and aesthetic. I should have figured you would love him since we like basically all the same characters, but Griffith isnt really a character that I would admit to liking lol. Most of the time if you say anything good about him anywhere else on social media you get crucified lmaoo but honestly I should have known that your page would have been a safe place for something like that 😭 I'm just glad that you discovered him, the fics you wrote about him are INSANE LIKE SO GOOD JESUS 🥵 the way I wanna kiss you so bad for making those fics, finally some good fucking food for Griffith 🙏 I would do literally anything for Griffith without shame, I would actually kill to be his camp wife, when he kept going on about owning you and you owe everything to him 👀. You know when you have a character that you think genuinely nobody understands them and loves them like you do? Griffith is that character for me, you're like the only person that I feel like gets him LOL and i love you so much for that ❤ also your fics and talking to your Griffith ai has got me hyperfixated on him again so I have to thank you for that too lol.

Also you've been really feeding my piss kink recently LMAO it warms my heart to see you writing for it more often 💖 like the Griffith piss kink fic you wrote is one of my favorite things I've ever read on here, I think about it constantly. And princess reader with Griffith 👀

ALSO what have you been into lately?? Like what are watching or hyperfixated on rn? 👀 and how have you been lately?? Tell me everything lol ☺️

Some Griffith tiktoks for you lol

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXkTT8/ the most beautiful man to literally ever exist and I stand by that

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWX6v3j/ MY BABY HIS SMILE 😭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXeASy/

That's literally all the tiktoks I have for him 😭 it genuinely upsets me so much that theres like no tiktoks of him. The only Griffith content on tiktok is basically all rape jokes 🙃

-jjk nonnie 🖤

AHHH HI BABY NO NO I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE IGNORING ME, more like you got busy again or I wasn’t giving content that you were interested in! EITHER ARE TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE I JUST MISSED YOU

Oh god.. Griffith…

Okay confession time because I’ve been in love with Levi like for years and I thought no one would ever knock him off the throne but

Griffith STORMED my heart castle, defeated dio and Levi, and claimed the crown 😭😭😭 HES NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART NOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

omg YOU SAYING I GET HIM MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I’m actually extremely emotionally tied to him now, and I get defensive of him reeeally easily so I’m glad my friends that dislike him don’t really shit talk him that much around me LIKE I’m all for playful dragging but getting out of hand I can get a little aggressive about defending him 💀

omg you’re talking to my griff ai ?!?! YESSS TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES WITH HIM I wonder what the experience is like for everyone else bc I jump back and forth between just filthy sex and then domestic royal family life SKSKSKSK

I cannot wait to write more griff fics ( AND I HAVE SOME WRITTEN ALREADY ) and I also want to write specifically for femto more too.

YES MY BLOG IS SAFE FOR GRIFFIE ENJOYERS. Actually it’s unsafe for Griffith antis 🔪

THE TIKTOK FOOD AHHHHH I haven’t been on tiktok in so long but I’m not surprised no one likes griff on tiktok they’re all like 💀 kids 💀 or chronically online and they can’t see him for what he is ( one of the if not the best written antags )

THERES ALWAYS SLANDER FOR MY BABIES ON TT ( see: mahito. )

HMMM WHAT AM I INTO LATELY?

Paradox Live. I’m so far deep down into this paralive hole and I cannot climb out !!!!! The animes not even out yet I just listen to the songs every day and watch the music videos and day dream about these boys 😭😭😭

I’ve also been watching psycho pass!

And I officially started playing genshin tonight!!

omg have you been watching the new season of jjk? I actually haven’t watched it yet I need to catch up but the toji content I’m seeing around 👀👀👀

#jjk nonnie ! #THEYRE BACKKKKK !!!!

[springfallendeer]

Just a general thanks

To everyone who started following/interacting recently. I really appreciate the interactions that I do get here.

The holidays tend to be a rough time of the year as is, and some years the seasonal depression hits harder than others. Even now, six hours to new years where I’m at. Its hitting pretty rough. Honestly guys, just don’t bother reading beneath the cut. Its depressing and I don’t want to be dragging anyone down. This is just something to try and process some emotions.

I’ve been on tumblr for years. I met some of my closest friends here, years ago. One of which eventually went on to save me from homelessness after a long, long string of horrible life events.

I’m one of those examples of how horrible life can be. My mother was horribly abusive to myself and my siblings, physically and mentally. I grew up isolated and never really having friends. I was the weird kid that couldn’t really form bonds with people. Because I was one of those kids that got fucked over by the medical system, I spent the first 12 years of my life drugged out of my mind on ADHD meds that did weird shit to me.

Life has been a process. The holiday season always sucked, because it just made me more aware of how bad off I was compared to everyone else. My mother was the black sheep, and I was her spawn. In the rare event that we went to a family event, we were excluded. So my early Christmases were spent watching everyone else gets presents. Because they were family events, everyone had to sit around and watch as everyone opened gifts. One by one.

My mother was stingy and she cared more about herself than about providing comforts to her children. There were always money issues. By the time I was in my teenage years, I learned never to expect gifts. Not real gifts. The best I could ask for was to go out to eat on my birthday. Any time I was given a real gift - something like a game console, or a laptop - there were strings attached. I was made to feel guilty every time I wanted something.

I still struggle to come up with any sort of an idea for what I’d want when asked what I’d like for Christmas/my birthday. So right now I am struggling. And its a struggle that tends to mix and mingle with other emotional distresses in my life.

I genuinely have a tough time most days, because even though I’m living with and often around friends, I feel alone. And its one of those things where I feel guilty for being lonely. Because its not really anyone’s fault. I just don’t enjoy a lot of the content that my friends enjoy. And by the time I get around to getting interest in something they do enjoy, they’ve moved on to something else.

So even though I enjoy writing and roleplaying and playing games, I just don’t get too. Because my interests never get to line up with the group, I’m the odd one out. The one left out of everything. And by now I’ve just stopped trying to be included, because it just led to additional hurt feelings. It always kinda sucks to finally get someone to roleplay with you, only for you to stop getting responses after 2-3 goes. Meanwhile the friends you were roleplaying with are just, busy with each other. Constantly.

And it is constant. Its a daily thing. Often all day. And while I’ve tried to nicely bring up that I’m feeling left out, its never led to much. You can’t force someone to want to engage in something if they aren’t interested in. And this has been going on for a few years, unfortunately.

In November I caught covid. While I was sick with covid, I somehow discovered the DCA in security breach. And for whatever reason, I just kinda fell in love with them. Again, there were attempts at getting involved in the friend group. But again, I’d developed my interest in something just a little too late. They were back into Pokemon, thanks to the recent release. And I’ve already gotten into Pokemon, only to be swiftly left behind a few days after. More than once.

So I started writing a personal project. And I started to post it. But everywhere I’d ever been active has been dead for years, and the audience I had, existed for a fandom that I can no longer stand to associate with. On pretty much every platform, interactions are dead silent.

Then I start looking into it and I realized that nothing I was posting was even turning up in the tumblr search option. And I’m still trying to get that sorted. And I was just sat here getting more emotionally frustrated. Because God, it really fucking sucks to feel alone all the fucking time. It really fucking sucks to enjoy something only for that love to slowly get sucked out of you because nothing ever seems to give you a break.

Then suddenly, someone took notice. And while I’m not getting a lot of traction on anything, its the most I’ve had in YEARS. And its great. And I feel stupid that it makes me so happy. And it upsets me, because after years of these interactions in personal friends groups - where I finally get involved with something and get to enjoy it, only to be left behind to my own devices. Alone with nothing by my own thoughts for entertainment.

And I know it can happen here. And it sucks. Because its nice to be able to just sit around doing silly shit and being able to enjoy stupid, silly interactions with other people. Especially after horrible days at work or just horrible days with my own thoughts. So I’m excited but I’m scared. I want to sit here and hope things will just continue. That I’ll have those 2-3 people that I might get lucky and be able to maintain a consistent interest with. All the while its just going to eat at the back of my head that in the near future, its all going to be gone and I’m going to be alone again.

And I just don’t really know what to do about it. So I’m trying to enjoy it while it lasts, but its hard. Early life fucked me up and ruined me. Adult life is harder to process. And regardless of whatever might happen, I don’t really have any sort of control over it.

#vent #delete later

[asmosmainhoe]

I just had this Idea while listening to, "Little miss perfect". But how would the brothers and dateable react falling for a Male Mc and to finding out they're gay? Like they've been with both genders but never thought of it like that then here come M Mc and now they're like, "He's nice and listens to me... I'm in love with him... wait am I gay?" If this make you uncomfortable you don't have to write it! If you do thank you! (I struggle with my sexuality so I got curious to how they would react)

The brothers questioning their sexuality

I'm so sorry that Mammon's part is always way longer than the other ones, but when I start writing for him the ideas just won't stop coming

Male MC

Warnings: cursing

Lucifer

Sometimes he questioned his sexuality even before he met you, but that was Diavolo's doing

Quickly brushed it off, because he doesn't have any feelings towards the demon prince that doesn't mean Lucifer doesn't think he's hot tho, because he is

Then you enter the Devildom and turn his world upside down

At first he thinks you're hot too so it's nothing new to him, but then he develops more serious feelings for you and then the gay panic starts

I can see him reading some documents in his study and overall just being flooded with work

And then as if someone turned a switch inside him he stops with everything and asks himself the question of all questions

Is he gay? Duh

Doesn't confront you about his emotions right away which is odd considering he's a pretty direct kinda guy

He just wants to make sure that the stuff he's feeling is not just a phase, because he doesn't wanna give you any false hope

Mammon

We stan a gay mess

Doesn't even realize he's hardcore simping for you unless one of his brothers points it out to him

I mean he did feel attracted to some guys, but never this strong!

Catch him late at night talking to Goldie about it while pacing around his room

Him: What should I do? Should I ask him out?

Goldie:

Him: I'm so confused!

Goldie:

Him: Ugh you're no help at all!

The doubts are eating him up from the inside, because he also doesn't wanna give you any false hope

Because like what if he asks you out and y'all start dating, but then he looses his feelings and breaks your heart and then you two stop talking and-

But you're mad cute and he can't stop thinking about you and how warm your hands are or how soft your lips look and he stays up at night thinking about your laugh and your smile and-

Please just do us all a favor and ask him out first

Leviathan

Has considered the fact that he might be gay, bi, pan etc considering there's a great amount of fictional male characters he simps for

Kakashi has no business looking this fine ok

But he was vibing with the cool edits, the hot fanart and the comforting fanfics/headcanons

Then you came to the Devildom and suddenly life was not daijoubo anymore

We all know he's down bad the moment he starts calling you his player number 2

Makes you change your profile pic so you two have matching icons

His way of flirting is very unique okay

Levi keeps comparing the two of you with his fave anime duos

You're his Henry! And Henry is his number 1 husbando! Take the hint you oblivious human!

Satan

Like Levi he has quite the long list of fictional men he has fallen for, but he kinda keeps it a secret?

No, it's not really a secret he's pretty open about it like if you ask him about a certain character he kinda starts gushing, but nothing too over the top

Let's just say that he doesn't rub his fanboying in your face

The more he gets to know you the more he realizes you're similar to all the fictional guys he simps for and that maybe he has a type

But all in all he's so chill about it

It's just that he always knew he's also attracted to men even without his crush on you

That doesn't mean he's not blushy around you, because he most definitely is

Asmodeus

I just can't see him having that gay panic okay?

Everyone is too hot for their own good and Asmo is over here vibing with it

Not shy about expressing his feelings so he's constantly flirting with you

What drives him into panic mode though is the realization that his feelings are way stronger than expected

Just imagine him doing his makeup and then he drops his eyeliner and gasps

"I'm in love?"

He knew he was gay for you, but not that much!

Lays down on his bed for an existential crisis, but gets his shit together after like five minutes and is ready to face the day

More like ready to face the truth and make his first serious move on you

Beelzebub

Never really thought about relationships before, because frankly he doesn't need it

All he really needs at the moment is his family and a full fridge

All of that doesn't mean he's completely ignoring his attraction towards you though

Shows you that he's interested through small actions like always helping you carry stuff or sharing his good with you

Yes! The second he offers you his food you should notice that something is up!

Talks to Belphie a lot about his feelings and even asks for advice which isn't the best idea considering the advice is coming from Belphegor

"So you're gay."

"I am?"

He is

Belphegor

Crushing on a human in general is new to him so give this man a break

The gay panic is surprisingly strong here considering that he's too lazy to panic over anything at all

Had a mini heart attack the first time you two had a sleepover and when you put your arm around him in your sleep?

He could have exploded right then and there

Mutters a "fuck" under his breath whenever he feels like his heart is about to jump out of his chest thanks to you

And if having to deal with his crush while being awake isn't hard enough he even dreams of you!

Wakes up exhausted and done with his life

"Why am I so gay for him?"

"What did you say, Belphie?"

OH SHIT HE TOTALLY FORGOT YOU TWO TOOK THAT NAP TOGETHER-

"Nothing, shut up."

---

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor

[itsgaga]

Dating Michael Monroe Would Include...

a/n: LOOK AT HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM

a/n part 2: i wrote this over the course of 3 days when stuff was hectic so i may or may not rewrite this idrk yet soooooooooooo

ok ok 

I’m excited for this

So meeting Michael was weird

Not in a bad way 

It’s just usually when you meet someone you kind of sit down, talk, and get to know each other 

But nay nay

Not with Michael 

It’s like you both knew each other already 

Like old friends catching up 

Yall had a whole conversation about your mother 

With Michael responding 

Like he’s met your mother 

Which you know 

He hasn’t 

It was a solid 2 hours you both spent just talking about everything and nothing 

But you both were so hooked and invested on every word that the other was saying 

So obviously you both wanted to see each other again 

Now dating

He’s in a band

Women are bound to go after him especially being the lead singer 

But in a room full of women

Michael does not see a single one

To him no one can come close to you

No one can compare to you 

In beauty

In personality

Everything about you just seems like you were made for Michael

Like you and Michael were specifically made for each other

So what good will another women bring?

Nothing that you can’t, won’t, or haven’t already brought

There are a lot of small cute dates 

Like the movies or late night diner dates 

And then there are dates that are planned out

Like going for a drive to end up on top of a cliff to watch the sunset 

Knowing Michael took the time to find the perfect spot

And then bringing your favorite snacks 

And just talking all night 

Please

Surprising you with gifts 

It’s usually something like a teddy bear or jewelry 

If it’s jewelry he usually gets the same thing so yall can match

It’s still cute though 

Oh gosh

He is a cuddler 

He’s fine with being the big or little spoon

Usually that just depends on the day 

And how he is feeling 

If he’s clingy or craving affection he will 100% be the little spoon

Besides from that though it all depends on if you want him to be the big or little spoon

He loves when you come to the bands concerts 

When performing he’s always eyeing you making sure you’re all good and enjoying the show 

Probably will make some sort of comment about you 

Like “Hey everybody my girlfriend is here tonight”

You may be embarrassed

Shits hard

You just gotta deal with it

Being besties with the band 

Him attempting to teach you finnish

“Attempting”

Girl no

Goodbye 

OH WAIT NO PAUSE

COMPLIMENT THIS MAN

PLEASE DO ITTT

Like Michael blushing?

Over you?

Doing something so simple

Pshh please

He values your opinion on EVERYTHING 

So if you tell him you like his shirt 

Or his makeup

Or his hair

It will make his day, week, and month 

No exaggeration 

K? 

Cool?

Are we clear?

Alright

Good

Michael writing songs about you

Bc you inspire him

You are his muse

Him constantly telling you how much he loves you

Because he feels like you don’t understand how much he actually loves you 

Like he needs to be understood 

So until the day where you finally get how much he loves and cares about you 

He will be telling you over and over again

Singing to you 

All the time

And will either get really shy over you telling him how good he is

Or being like “Well that’s good then, I am a singer after all”

Literally dude you have this mans whole heart 

And if you love him as much as he loves you it will last 

Bc he will not let you go 

Love him please?

Ook

#hanoi rocks #hanoi rocks imagine #michael monroe #michael monroe x reader #hanoi rocks x read #michael monroe imagine

[thefanficmonster]

Sweet Tooth

Corpse Husband x Asian Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tooth-rotting (😉) Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse isn’t one to have a big preference or craving for sweet, sugary treats. In fact, he’d even go as far as to say he’s not at all a fan of candy. Well, much to his yet to be known delight, his partner Y/N takes that as a personal challenge.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request! So sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it despite the long time that’s passed. If you do, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤ 

“Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!“ Y/N gives the camera a wave and blows it a quick kiss with their lips stretched in a delighted grin. They clap their hands together, turning to look at their guest who’s sitting in a chair on their right, his face covered with a sticker in the final cut of the video that their viewers have the opportunity of watching. “Ok, before we address the elephant in the room, I’m gonna ask the elephant himself not to move his head too much cause this is already gonna take a long time to edit, the last thing I need is to animate that sticker over your face to follow your movement.“

“Got it, babe.“ A deep voice replies obediently, earning an approving hum in response. However, just as Y/N’s about to turn to face the camera again, the mysterious - ok, not THAT mysterious - guest leans down and plants a kiss on their cheek.

“Brat!“ They squeal as they turn to glare at the person with narrowed eyes. He doesn’t appear bothered at all, chuckling as he wraps his arms around them in an attempt to soften them up. Sadly, his tries fall through as they proceed to ignore his affection instead of reciprocating it for the sake of being petty, “Everyone, this is my boyfriend Corpse.“

“Hello, I am hand.“ Corpse says, slowly waving his hand at the camera, “I shall be your entertainment tonight.“

“Oh this is no entertainment, I have a point to prove here.“ Y/N argues, breaking free from his arms before they bend down to pick up one of the two boxes that are resting by their feet. “You see, Corpse and I got in a bit of a scrap last night...“ they trail off, distracted by the contents of the box that’s now resting on their lap.

“I didn’t think me admitting to not liking sweet stuff would provoke such a dramatic reaction from Y/N but here we are.“ He interferes, lifting a finger in the air as though that will help him be heard better or would protect him in case his partner decided to go off at him.

Y/N just ignores his input yet again, continuing to address the camera, aka their audience, “So as you guys may or may not know, my mom’s Korean and my dad’s Japanese. Since they live in their respective countries for work purposes, that means I’m always one phone call - and a little bit of a wait - away from Korean and Japanese snacks at all times. I’m a person who constantly has a snack by their side so you can bet I make that phone call often. However, about a week ago, I made that call specifically for candy, the brands I was obsessed with as a kid. I don’t know what came over me but I think it was my fortuneteller sense kicking in because this mister over here decided to CASUALLY bring up the fact that he doesn’t like candy.” They turn to glare at him before continuing, “Anyways, so luckily, the package arrived only recently so I haven’t had the time to tear open all the candy and eat it all by myself as I was planning to. That being said, today I’ll be in introducing Corpse to the world of Japanese and Korean candy - a tighter circle of it, to be specific: the candy I grew up with.” They finally turn to Corpse again, the look on their face significantly different and a lot more pleasant compared to the one they gave him a bit ago. “So, how are you feeling, babe? Are you excited?”

Although the man’s face is blocked to the viewers, Y/N can still see him and they are pretty damn close to bursting out in a fit of laughter.  “I don’t know how to feel, actually. I know you have peculiar taste so it’s either gonna be a fun experience or I’m gonna very displeased with what you’ll have me try.“

Y/N rolls their eyes, “Trust me, you won’t be.” They put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, only half humoring his nervousness, “You’ll only be trying six on camera, but my parents sent a ton more which you’ll be able to try later, ok? It was really hard for me to pick only six favorites by I don’t need this video crossing the twenty minute mark.”

With a heavy-hearted sigh, Corpse finally brings himself to rip the band-aid off and get this adventure started. “Ok cool, but don’t surprise me with anything, please. Show me what you had in mind to have me try so I can, you know, prepare myself.”

Y/N, who was busy taking out packets of candy just a moment ago suddenly stops in their movements to give him a look of disbelief, “You know none of these are poisonous, right? Like, I’m not trying to kill you or anything. There’s no cyanide, no rat poison...”

His laughter cuts them off, wrapping his arm around them and pulling them closer again, “I’m messing with you, babe. What you got for me?” He says, placing a quick kiss to their temple while sneaking a peek at the packaging of the candies they’re holding right now.

Wiggling a little looser in his grip, they first show him the three items before turning them to the camera, “These are from my mom, she sent them from Korea and they are triggering a massive wave of nostalgia right now, not gonna lie.” They giggle, adjusting the brightness a little so the products can be seen properly, “Ok so first we have the long biscuit sticks that come in many flavors but I asked for my favorite - green tea flavored, that is. Then we have Pumpkin Monaca which are probably one of my most favorite sweet treats of all time. I think you’re gonna really like them. And lastly from Korea we have these butter waffles which I used to eat for breakfast when I was running late for school - which happened often.”

Corpse snorts, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

His remark is overlooked as Y/N continues, now taking out three packets from the other package, “Now we’re moving on to my dad’s box. He didn’t disappoint either: we have soda-flavored jelly beans; Black Thunder chocolate bars which you’re only gonna steal one of because the rest are MINE; and last but definitely not least we have some classic milk candies.” Setting those down as well, they turn to Corpse yet again, this time giving his a mischievous smile that’s promising him trouble, “So, Mr. Corpse Husband, after this introduction, are you prepared to have your entire opinion o sweet food changed? And more importantly, are you prepared to develop an addiction to these treats?”

Corpse nods confidently, “Oh, I’m very prepared, thank you. Let’s just get on with it.”

Needless to say: boy, was he not as prepared as he thought he was.

It goes without saying Y/N proved their point and took the win today.

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#corpse husband #corpse fanfiction #corpse fluff #corpse fic #corpse fandom #corpse fanfic #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse x reader #corpse imagine #corpse imagines #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fluff #corpse husband imagine #corpse simp #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #request #requests open #x reader #reader

[collisiondiscourse]

Man, why does it feel like the threshold for success has a time limit? I always feel like if I'm not an insanely popular artist or powerful influencer by the time I turn eighteen, then I am an utter failure and a waste of my teenage years. I think one of the biggest pitfalls of how the generation of kids today has been raised is that we've basically been socialized to think that our best achievements have to come in our youth or else they become virtually worthless.

Like... Oh? you're a talented pianist and played in front of an auditorium of hundreds at an opera house? how old were you when that happened?

A forty-seven-year-old would be met with a few impressed nods, maybe, and people congratulating them for all their hard work and experience.

A fourteen-year-old would get news articles. they'd go viral on the internet and thousands of people would be clambering over each other to sing praises of how they were blessed with such innate talent.

I get it. It's impressive, right? Because they're young and haven't had plenty of years of experience. These kids, by all means, deserve all the praise and attention for working hard to get where they were!

But that's not the case, is it? And the culture of people putting more credit for young people's achievements doesn't even fuckin end there.

Because not only does this exact same pattern happen with literally every single thing ever, even totally non-competitive hobbies like painting, it happens with such frequency that it's considered normal. Articles use age markers about successes to serve as clickbait for their articles. Cable companies start shows purely about young prodigies and how they've beaten their adult competitors. Because who wouldn't wanna hear about a ten-year-old chess champion, right?

And what's even worse is that it then becomes a competition even among young people themselves! You scroll down on a video of a pre-teen playing Winter Wind and I promise you there will be at least one asshole saying shit like "This kid is not impressive. I saw a nine year old do the same thing the other day!"

It eats away at you! It really fucking does! because we go down this stupid rabbit-hole wherein younger and younger kids get paraded around and raised to be prodigies and meanwhile here you are, sixteen, and having a panic attack because you can't go back in time and force your eight-year-old self to keep playing the violin. It's stressful. It aches. Instead of bringing up younger people around us, we're stuck in this miserable zone where we constantly get compared and pitted against each other because we couldn't "maximize our childhood".

Isn't it enough to just... exist?

There have already been many conversations on the nature of college. How it's utter BS that people have to choose what career they want for the rest of their lives as early as junior year in HS. But what a lot of people don't talk about is just how early people are forced to decide what hobbies they want to do for the rest of their lives. People who start learning how to play an instrument at 28 can't do so without constantly being questioned why they started so late. A drawing with decent coloring garners more credit and attention for the average tween than the struggling middle-aged woman, despite both having an equal amount of experience with visual arts.

Parents constantly tell their children to study harder, to practice more--to just keep on work, work, working until their children become the perfect model dolls they use flex to one another over brunch. It's constantly having your name be followed up by your latest achievement and not anything about who you are as a person.

"This is Codi. She is a straight-A student and got invited to compete at Harvard."

"This is Codi. She is on her school's math team and knows how to play the piano."

"This is Codi. She is--"

I am a human being, thank you.

It's never "This is Codi, and he loves fashion and losing at video games." or "This is Codi, and he likes listening to annoying pop songs from the early 2010s and laying down in the rain."

Why? because none of that matters! None of that is worth listening to because anything less than what I can do to represent my family, my school, my team, my country will never be anything more than a waste of time. It's toxic, how today's generation of teenagers have to be celebrities or important figures or champions or prodigies before they are people.

It gets worse, though.

People start counting your talents like tally marks for points. You can't "just be an artist" anymore. If you draw, then you also have to be good at writing. And poetry. And graphic design. And a sport. Oh, you only know one language? Oh, you've only learned the basics of the guitar? It's like a fucking marker, ticking off boxes to determine the worth of these teenagers on the marketability of their achievements.

And, okay, it's a misrepresentation to only blame parents, right? Because it's a systematic thing. A new societal expectation for kids to be the next fucking Renaissance--with peer pressure for things like relationship experience and wild stories too. We kids now worry about not being special enough, not phenomenal enough, or beautiful enough, or talented enough, or smart enough, or experienced enough. And it's weird!

It's weird how teens now flex how tired and burnt out they are! It's weird how I've had conversations that turned into competitions of how many bullshit responsibilities we have on our plate. It's weird how I've met kids on the honor roll that are so adamant to prove to people that they've gone to parties, had alcohol, and slept around.

It's a goddamn tragedy, watching so many of my peers turning into burnouts before they've even graduated high school.

We are expected to be the most. If that one singer could do it, if that one global warming activist could do it, if that one Olympic athlete could do it--then why can't you? Why can't you have over 20.7k followers on Twitter? Why can't you have started your own band and release a popular album? Why can't you have published your own book by now? Why can't you be good enough?

I sit here, typing away at this stupid post and being unhappy and feeling like I am not good enough. I am an artist. I am a writer. I speak more than one language and play more than one instrument. I used to be a straight-A student and nationally competed in maths and sciences competitions. I am an international finalist for my sport and have multiple gold medals from foreign countries.

Yet still, I feel like my timer is running short.

#codi.txt #idk im just. ranting i guess lol #vent #tw vent #long post #tw long post #listen to codi ramble about stuff literally no one but he cares about !! #sorry im just. in my feelings rn

[a-supernatural-writer]

hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨

Dark Academia Fem! S/O 

Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader

I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!

Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 

To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 

Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 

You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 

You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 

When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 

After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 

In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 

David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 

His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 

Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 

David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 

Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 

Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 

Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 

He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 

Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 

Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 

Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 

Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 

Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  

This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.

Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 

Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 

He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 

He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 

Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 

He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 

Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 

When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 

Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 

Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 

Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 

They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.

Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  

Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 

Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 

Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.

When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 

To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #vampire #gay vampires #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys x female reader #female reader #female s/o #the lost boys headcanon #the lost boys s/o #david x reader #paul x reader #marko x reader #dwayne x reader #lost boys david #the lost boys paul #lost boys dwayne #lost boys marko #request #had a lot of fun writing this #dark acadamia aesthetic #dark academia female reader #poly lost boys x reader #poly lost boys

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

Inimitable

winter prompts day 3  ❄️ cuddling by the fire

 Jaskier is still sitting in the chair in front of the fire. He was there before Geralt left just after supper and he's still sitting here now, the graveir dead and the sun long set. It's almost unheard of that Jaskier sits still for so long, but when Geralt pricks his ears he can hear Jaskier's heartbeat and his slow, steady breath. It's a little too measured for Geralt's liking, but there isn't much he can do about it right now.

Right now, he's covered in graveir gore and muck from the swamp and now that he's collected payment for the job, he needs to bathe before he can check in on Jaskier.

He calls for a bath and gets himself cleaned up before heading back downstairs to the public area and he's disheartened to find Jaskier hasn't moved an inch. Geralt slips up behind as quietly as he can and he's hit by the overwhelming scent of rotting fruit and salt. The combination can only mean one thing and Geralt's stomach clenches as he moves around the side of the chair. Jaskier glances at him and just his face confirms what Geralt already knows. His eyes are red and swollen and his cheeks are damp. He's been crying. Geralt reaches out to him, but-

"Fuck, Geralt-" Jaskier chokes, fumbling to wipe at his eyes. "What are you doing here?

"It's been hours," Geralt says gently. "Is- is everything alright?"

He winces as soon as the words are out of his mouth. No. Of course, everything isn't alright. He's known Jaskier for years and years and the only time he's seen him cry is when he was so drunk he jumped into a pond because the ducklings were too cute. This is very different than that.

"Oh, it's- it's fine, darling. Let's get to bed."

Geralt isn't sure which is worse. The way Jaskier tries to smooth over his own pain or the fact that he seems so disinclined to talk to Geralt about it. Not that he could really blame him. He isn't good at talking about things and Jaskier's whole life is words and how to work them. He's very much out of his depth, so his shoulders slump and he curses himself for not being better at this, but he lets Jaskier lead him back up to their room.

They go about the motions getting ready for bed, but Geralt feels like there's a pit in his stomach. Once they're alone, Jaskier does his best to pretend not to be hurting, but Geralt can smell it all over him, can feel the sadness wafting off of him.

Jaskier strips mechanically and Geralt aches to reach out to him, to pull him close and soothe the pain, but he doesn't know how. Because how could his touch do anything but cause further harm? He climbs into bed after him, careful to keep his distance and after a little while, the sadness lessens a little. Geralt is relieved until he realizes Jaskier is just asleep.

He doesn't know what time it is when he wakes, but Geralt is alone in the bed and it takes a moment until he's awake enough to realize there's a fire lit. He jumps out of bed abruptly, looking around until he spots Jaskier curled on the floor in front of the fire. If it's keeping him awake, it must be bad. Geralt sighs. There's nothing for it.

He pulls the blanket from the bed, padding across the room and sits behind Jaskier. He doesn't know what to do and he knows if he says anything, he'll likely make it worse, so he curls up on the floor behind him and pulls the blanket over them both.

"You should go back to bed. We have an early morning, remember?"

Geralt waits, but Jaskier makes no attempt to move away or to push him away so he stays. He wraps one arm around his shoulders and as he tugs him closer, there's a little choked off sob. Immediately, he releases his hold and draws back, and Jaskier curls in on himself, sniffling. His breath catches and Geralt hates himself for not knowing what to do.

He thinks back to any time Jaskier has comforted a frightened villager when Geralt hauls back his trophy for payment. He's seen him wrap himself around them, gently stroke their arms or hands or hair and he knows Jaskier isn't scared, but maybe it will help.

As cautiously as he can, he slips his arm back around him, fingers brushing against his arm until he can slip his own fingers between Jaskier's. He's barely touched him when Jaskier's fingers tighten around him and he squeezes. This is good, then. Without removing his hand, Geralt slips up close again, propping himself up on his elbow.

"You can," he takes a deep settling breath and leans lower, "you can tell me what's wrong. I know I'm not the best at these things, but- maybe I could help?"

"'S nothing, just stupid," Jaskier mumbles, but his voice is still unsteady and Geralt doesn't believe him.

"If it upsets you this much, it isn't stupid. You don't have to say, but you can trust me. You know you can trust me, right?"

"Yeah," Jaskier whispers.

Jaskier falls silent again, but he presses back against Geralt's chest, fingers still wrapped around his. It's not much, but Geralt is glad to be able to do anything and Jaskier settles a little against him.

Eventually, even Geralt settles, nose pressed into Jaskier's hair, thumb rubbing gently against his hand. His eyelids are heavy when Jaskier finally breaks his silence, but he props himself up again.

"It's just... do you ever feel like the other Witchers are better than you? Like it makes them better because they can, I don't know, run faster than you or something?"

"Eskel is much better at signs than I am," Geralt says softly. "Lambert is better at making bombs. Why?"

"Listen don't- don't make fun, okay?"

"I would never. What's wrong, Jask?"

"Valdo," Jaskier grumbles. "It's this new song." He takes a deep breath and Geralt waits for an outburst that never comes. "It's really good. And I've been- everything I've written lately is shit. I know I talk a lot of shit, but he's actually a very good songwriter and I-"

"You're doubting yourself," Geralt realizes and Jaskier just groans and buries his face in his arm. "He could never hope to compare," Geralt breathes and he doesn't know where the words came from, but he means them. "You have-" he shuts his eyes, forcing the words out. It's too much, too close to all the things he forces down and stops himself from saying. But Jaskier deserves to hear it.

"You have the most beautiful voice I've heard," Geralt admits, "and I like your songs. I sing them sometimes when we're apart. Even the coin one."

Jaskier turns in his arms, only releasing his hand when it's too awkward to hold any longer. He looks up at him with something like awe in his expression and Geralt smiles down at him.

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course."

"Geralt, I- what? I thought you hated my singing?"

"No."

"Then why-?"

"It doesn't matter right now," Geralt whispers, "but don't think for a moment that Valdo Marx could hope to achieve even half of what you do every day. He may write well, but that doesn't take away your talent, Jask. And you lie constantly, but your songs are based on real events - most of which you were present for."

Jaskier smiles at him, reaching a hand up to brush Geralt's cheek and he looks like he's about to cry again. Geralt doesn't know what he did wrong, he thought he was doing well.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly, "should I not-" Jaskier shakes his head immediately.

"That's not- no, that was perfect. I didn't realize you felt like that."

He feels so much more than that, but there's no good way to tell Jaskier all of that. Instead, he tips his head down, presses a hesitant kiss to Jaskier's forehead.

"You're a better songwriter than he'll ever be."

In an instant, Jaskier's arms are around his neck and he's pulling him down to him, kissing his lips. His lips are cold and salty from his tears, but Geralt couldn't pull away from him if he tried. He winds one arm around Jaskier's back, rolling him onto his back and deepening the kiss.

When Jaskier finally draws away, he's panting, but smiling and Geralt is so relieved to see him smile that he kisses him again.

"Thank you," Jaskier whispers, still holding Geralt's face in his hands.

"For what?"

"For listening. For caring."

Geralt doesn't know what to say, so he lays himself back down and draws Jaskier close to him. "Would you like to go back to bed?" Jaskier just smiles as his fingers slip around the back of Geralt's neck.

"Do you mind if- this is quite nice, actually."

Geralt nods and Jaskier presses forward, burying his face in Geralt's chest and readjusting the blankets over them both. He must be exhausted because he falls asleep quickly and in the silence, Geralt decides that maybe they could afford to spend an extra night in the inn if this is all it takes to make Jaskier happy again.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #cuddling by the fire #rex writes #winter prompt challenge 2k20 #don't like #read too much into this or anything #sorry fabi #i didn't post the thing #but I tried #and i wrote for day 3

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

I need to make an appointment with the person who writes my prescriptions because it’s been a while, and I keep putting it off because I don’t...particularly want to talk to her because I’m pretty sure my options are to do the socially comfortable thing and say that nothing’s really changed, yeah my mood’s mostly fine, I mean sure I’m a little stressed and burned out from two years of pandemic but who isn’t haha and anyway loads of people have it way worse than me so I shouldn’t even mention it actually, yep let’s just keep everything the way it is

or try to be honest and be like, I think I’m doing...bad? maybe? probably bad! like I thought I was doing mostly okay but actually what I’m doing is constantly distracting myself and not thinking about stuff, which is a tiny problem because I can’t actually get anything done without thinking about stuff and I do need to get things done or at best I’ll hate myself more and at worst I’ll lose my job and my home, and anyway when I let myself actually think about it, yeah I think I’m not doing great, my brain is a garbage fire but nobody really seems to believe me about that or be willing to validate that maybe I have a somewhat socially acceptable excuse for my brain being a garbage fire, generally speaking nobody cares about me enough to stay and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I need to keep doing work like everything’s normal when in fact nothing is fucking normal and it hasn’t been in two years, I immediately feel guilty for being stressed and burned out about that because I’m still so lucky compared to so many people but I’m stressed about literally everything, I’m in pain of some kind nearly all the time but I feel guilty being upset about that too because it’s really not that bad, I’ve had a couple different crying breakdowns in recent weeks just because I spent too much time thinking about how goddamn lonely and tired I am and how much I want some things to change but I seem utterly incapable of changing because it’s too fucking exhausting even to think about it and anyway the end result is that I’ve spent more time low-key wanting to be dead lately than I have in years, but nobody noticed any of it because I keep that shit to myself and more importantly I don’t want to deal with the stress of other people being worried about me and also I don’t see the point of really telling anyone when I can’t imagine anything’s going to change, and actually you know what just forget I said anything because I don’t have the energy to do any of the things that might help and it’s been a very long time since changing meds made a noticeable difference (and no, exercise doesn’t fucking help, do you know how many times I’ve gone into a bad spiral while walking my dog?) and I’m pretty sure the problem is just me, you know? which is the thing I don’t have the energy to change! so like, I’m not fine but nobody is fine so nobody has time for me to not be fine, and I could take some time off but there’s really too much that needs to get done and anyway it never really seems to make things better when I take time off, and anyway in the scheme of things I’m not sure I’ve really earned the right to say I’m struggling? and hey, my garbage-fire brain has never actually made me hurt myself yet or lose my job yet or whatever so yeah, of course, it’s not actually that bad, I’m being dramatic, anyway I’m fine thanks how are you, no really I’m fine now because I distracted myself and shut everything else away again and it’s fine!! look, I’m scrolling social media and buying shiny things and playing video games and not thinking about what’s making me miserable so I’m fine.

#brains behaving badly #sorry #I don't even know

[ladyvesuvia]

ANNOUNCEMENT

i wrote this weeks ago ajshejwka ANYWAY if u haven’t noticed, i’ve been inconsistent in my activity here on tumblr which i apologize for.

Okay, so, this is a very spur of the moment decision. I love being here and writing stories but lately I’ve been too deep into how my works will be received (constantly checking notes, comparing my work to other writers, and stuff like that) which I know is very unhealthy because writing shouldn’t be like that!

Aside from that, I also lost the motivation to write and my horrible lifestyle to top that up lmao pls I need to fix my life

I’m kind of scared to do this because what if y’all forget about me or smth hHAHAKAKA

watch me lose followers 🙄 jk it’s ok ily all or wtva and i’ll literally miss all of you

I honestly don’t know how I’ll spend my time because I’m not feeling my best right now, but I think I’d like to just read the books on my TBR (as if hehe jk) and watch a couple movies or shows.

Please take note that I am not quitting writing, I’m just taking a break for a week or two. I might be more inactive for the last week of August because school is starting on the 31st.

As for the requests in my inbox, I’m sorry it’s taking too long for me to get to them, but I will. (the celebration asks and more) In regards to the other requests, I might turn down a couple of them, so I apologize for that.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who reads my stories! Maybe I’ll upload a couple of fics during my break — I don’t really know but I DO have shit tons of drafts like:

[deleted]

just to name a few^^^

This is not goodbye (don’t think for one second that any of you will be able to get rid of me that easily lmao as if), it’s more of like a be right back typa beat hehe 🐐🐐🐐

ily all <3

——

idk if i should even tag moots to this i feel bad for ignoring you all these past few days i’m really sorry

[melis-ash]

have you watched elite's season 4 finale already? what are your takes on caye and phillipe? no judgements here tho, just want to know your opinion on them

 Hello, nonny! Yes, I did. My opinion about Caye and Philippe has several different aspects (which a litle bit conflict with each other).

Lets write long post.)) Sorry for mistakes and typos, English is not my first language and I`m not really good with grammar.

1) Caye and Philippe story is feminist retelling-reverse of the Beauty and the Beast, where main characters didn`t became couple and The Beauty left her Beast not for Gaston other romance, but for her own path. And their relationship helped the Beast to realize his past mistakes and make to want to fix it, even if it`s too late . Comparing with many other things in that season that storyline was not bad. Really. There MANY problems with s4, I think the best stolyline had Rebe and Mencia, it was really good, and in my personal opinion, despite many flaws, Caye and Philippe storyline is second one for me. Kinda it was not really good, but it had plot, idea, composition and message. Writers knew very clear, what they tried to say, and despite obvious lack of screen time, they handle it, and this story, despite it doesn`t connect with main plot, resonate with main storyline on the level of their ideas. (About it later.) I know, Georgina is feminist, so I wonder, could she give some advice writers? Kinda “it can work better if...” something like it.

2) Personally I`m very disappointed how OOC was Caye in that season and how few screen time she had. For me Caye from s4 feels like too much different person than in s2-3. I wanted character development for her, but something more slow and realistic. S4 Cayetana feels like all her character development happened between s3 and s4 (and partly in special, which really was very good), and I don`t believe in it. Caye from s4 is good character, but there is no real connection with Caye from s2-3.

I knew, she was very upopular character in s2-3, so maybe creators afraid to gave her too much screen time. But also they still wanted she was part of story and write redemption arc for her. And honestly, anon, these two thing can`t work together well. When you write redemption arc for well written nuanced character that Cayetana was in s2-3, you need give character enough screen time and nuances. But it seems, s4 writers don`t care enough about writing S1-3 characters in character. In s2-3 Caye was bad girl, but also she was comedy relief (but s4 has very few comedy moments), she had family (where the fuck her mother and granddad now? We know only that her mother cannot work in Las Ensinas, but don`t know, why), we saw, that she did`t sleep almost, because she learn in Las Ensinas, worked as janitor and still hung out with rich kids. (I think I began feel compassion for her, when realized it). It that seson she almost has not other scenes than with Philippe. OK, she was pariah in school during previous year, but if writers began that things with Caye and Rebe friendship, can they continue it. Rebe and Caye both had problem with their love interests and they never discussed it. Only time they speak about Philippe was in 402. Also Benjamin fired Azucena, and wanted to expel Samu and Omar, but Caye still works there? And Benjamin still protects her even? Why? I mean, after whole thing with scam in s2. Maybe it because protection of Polo`s mothers, but it never was said in s4 even. It seems, Benjamin knows things about her story with Polo (like he knows about Philippe`s past), and it could be really interesting possiblity to bring on scene that aspect of situation and Benjamin`s character and him and Caye interaction. 

Also there is something with Georgina`s acting in s4, in most of scenes she acts as different character, so maybe it was and her (as actress) decision too. I wrote before, she is feminist, and maybe she wanted to bring more feminists vibes in s4 Caye, because it makes storyline works better? Given how few connection with previous seasons on script level her s4 story had, it make sense even, it`s just feel OOC for me, because Caye is not feminist at all. She is strong and ambitious, but she is not type of women what call themselves feminists, and when she said “I became my own Fairy Godmother” in s2, she meant that she was forced to do it. Caye was girl who wanted to be princess from old school Disney animation. In s3 she wanted to live and study on Polo mother money in London and was fully OK with it. When she refused their proposition, it was because thoughts, that Polo could be alive and even more or lesser happy in other school without those her messages, haunted her. Plus when Polo died, he thought Caye was with him more because his money than because Polo himself. I remember, in her first scene Caye read  The Second Sex, but it was spectacle for her schoolmates. And when she spoke with them about her fake rich life, it always was “look how rich and glamour I am”. Partly she spoke in this way because she knew very few about rich people`s life, but also there were some of her dreams. She wanted to be rich and and be part of this glamour life. In s3 she became in some way, and she had a lot of possiblities to understand how many shit, pain and tragedies can hide for glamour facade. Theoretically she knew it before. But she was exctremely poor, so it was a little bit difficult for her to think about it too much.

3) So I think more mention of Caye`s story from s2-3 could make her and Philippe story better. Philippe himself have same problem as Polo in some way: he is rich guy, and his mother indulged him too much. Caye saw how Polo`s mother indulged him and saw where it ended. Not good for Polo and many other people. Marina and Polo could be alive and Samu`s family could live with him in Spain, if Polo`s mothers raised their son better. Even if Caye don`t care much about Guzman or Samu and she never knew Marina, she had enough time between seasons to reflect of situation. So with more s2-3 reference that “matter of education thing” Caye says to Philippe`s mother could sound not only as sort of feminist  slogan, but as something very personal and painful for Caye. She was in love with boy, who was spoiled too much by his parents (like Philippe), and it brought a lof pain him, his friends, Caye. I don`t say there are not at all attempts include previous Caye experience in s4. For example, when Caye does google research about Philippe and finds nothings, she is still suspicious because she know, how easy money could erase some thing.  Also that thing with Pilippe`s mother. I think after conversation with her,Caye realized that Philippe`s and Polo`s promblems had very much same roots. But such moments really have not enough space. Guzman had at least one scene, where he speak about his reflection on s1 evens (where he compares Mencia and Marina). I would like to see something like it with Caye.

4) Many things in Caye and Philippe storyline feel offscreen. We know they regularly talk in school, but see very few of it etc. Actors have good chemistry, and since they both like fashion design, it feels enough for beginning of communication, plus Caye had crush on Philippe long before they met, plus she was first who was really friendly with him in new school (in some way it`s repeat of Caye and Polo story, but with more positive vibes). But I want to see more illustration, why Philippe fell in love with Caye so much.

5) Now about Philippe himself. I saw many hateposts and hatecomments about him, and it`s really funny, because I constantly see how many people in this fandom love Polo and think he deserved better, despite Polo is murderer. Yes, he killed Marina out of emotion, but she is fucking dead. She will never resurrect. Guzman will remember till grave that his best friend killed his sister and then was killed by Guzman`s ex-girlfriend, because policy failed to handle their job well. Samu`s brother was forced to left Spain because it. But it took 2 seasons for Polo to understand he needs go to policy and confess he killed Marina. Caye didn`t understood how wrong her actions were till Polo`s death. I don`t know how long was Elodie`s rape, but at least Philippe didn`t need someone`s corpse to realize his mistakes. Inside standart of this show that guy isn`t hopeless. “Everybody deserve second chance” was important point in Caye`s story in s2-3, so now I wonder how writers will play this card in s5 in relationship between Philippe and Caye. 

Also I want to say I was wrong, when doubted in Pol Granch acting, he`s good additon to Elite cast.

6) Caye x Philippe storyline and main storyline. In that seson Elite brings of scene, in additon of another murder and drug traid, sex crimes. Prostitution, rapes. It`s interesting, that connection here takes place through Ari, girl, who has serious problem with sexual behavior, when she`s drunk. She`s know it`s perfectly, but also she knows, that when woman says “no”, it`s means “no” and end of story. I really like her role in Caye and Philippe story and I hope in s5 there will be at least some scenes with her and Caye. Also interesting point were Ari`s word that she never report to the police without prove. It feels ambigous. She knows, Phillippe is not angel at all. But also there is other side of coin. I think, she also knows, reputation can be ruined very easy. During s4 there was subplot with discussion club. And Samu speak that ex-criminals cannot become somebody else, even if they wants. Their reputation in society was ruined. In final of Philippe story he sent Elodie his confession. So maybe writers tried to write about theme “can criminal, who admitted his mistakes, to became somebody else?” through season and I think they will continue it in s5.

Sorry if this all sounds muddled and too long. Maybe later I will make some additon into reblogs to this post, I don`t know.

#elite #elite netflix #elite spoilers #elite s4 #cayetana grajera #philippe florian von triesenberg #cayetana x phillippe #polo benavent #polo x cayetana #georgina amoros #pol granch #ari bianco commerford #elite meta #text post

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

#efa writes! #im on my bathroom floor LOSING IT #its 3 am & the more i read it the more i hate it #yuta #nakamoto yuta #nct yuta #nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #yuta imagines #yuta timestamp #yuta drabble #yuta blub #nct imagine #nct drabble #nct blurb #nct 127 blurb #nct timestamp #nct 127 drabble #nct 127 timestamp #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct angst #nct 127 angst #badboy!yuta

[tohokuu]

Anon ask time:

I'm a writer on here and im pretty notorious on getting things out late and I feel bad or it especially when it's a request.

But no one talks abt how it's just hard sometimes to be a writer on Tumblr. Like i worked my ass off to get only 500 followers and then an anon that reached out to me and asked for advice posts like three works and gained 1k followers in a month. I'm v happy for her and everything but it feels unfair sometimes. And i just want to be a big voice in the ateez fanfic community and have people recognize that im a good writer and be like you or hongism or pk but when you post something that you spent all this time on and for it to only get 10 likes is very disheartening.

And I have been revamping old works too but it still is so hard

ahhhh my love, it’s okayyyy

let’s pretend i’m letting you cuddle into my arms and i’m stroking your hair gently 🤗

now, PLS don’t compare me to caly, shes huge 😭 but that’s also like the biggest compliment ever, do not make me cry at 6 AM

the biggest thing about ANY hobby that ppl fail to realize is that it’s not supposed to be a job. it’s a hobby, you do it when you feel like it. i haven’t been able to paint in over a year, i feel like i’ve lost my artistic talent, but when i look back at my old pieces i’m like.. holy shit i drew that ??

or, DEAN ? if you know who he is, he hasn’t released music for maybe 2-4 years now ? people ask for more music but no one realizes how difficult it is to produce art. it’s difficult to put your brain together and find something satisfactory enough for your audience. writing is the same way. it’s art. it’s talent. sometimes it doesn’t flow in your head properly and it’s difficult to produce stuff.

and don’t ever feel bad for being late to a request. you’re not obligated to answer anyone. what are they gonna do ? tell their mom ? 🙄

and sometimes it is hard to gain followers. my old blog only reached around 570 followers before i just gave up and made a new blog. i had decent amount of works up there but it didn’t make much of a difference.

maybe a blog change could help ? a new environment often helps (that’s what all my friends that constantly change blogs say)

and maybe with recognition, it’s also a matter of tags. tags make a BIG difference. i changed some tags for my fics and it made my fics grow. tumblr ever only puts the first 4-5 tags to use and you gotta use the ones people will go for the most. it’s bit of a marketing situation as well

and i understand where you’re saying that it really burns you out when you work so hard on a fic and it only gets 10 likes :( that can be upsetting. but tumblr is literally a gamble, not everything will do well. many of my fics that’s i write don’t do well. my angst fics never do well and i have a couple of those. my fluff fics aren’t all that popular either.

my melanie series; even tho i worked hard and completed it, if you look at the individual works, there’s not many notes on it. and it’s not just me, it happens to every writer. i spoke to caly (hongism) a couple months back and she told me that a lot of her kinktober works didn’t get the most recognition, so really, tumblr is just a gamble

and also, notes don’t really matter when you’re doing something you love. if it soothes your heart to write, then fuck notes. i understand that notes and comments can be a motivator too, but that’s the readers job, not yours. us writers do our best to get our readers to reblog our work and leave comments, some listen and some don’t

and there’s also a target audience. most people consume the horny stuff, so other genres don’t often get the same love

i’ll be back with some business strategies later and you can drop another ask, or i’ll make a general post abt it

i’m started to get late for school now so i gtg 😭 if there’s anything else, my ask box is open

#hades asks {💡} #anon honesty hour {🍷}