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cas-backwards-tie · 2 days

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Chapter Three: Fate Rewritten

Helmut Zemo x Reader

The Missing Title | Previous Chapter

Summary: After bumping into Sharon, you're escorted back to her apartment in High-Town. What lies in wait is way more than you'd anticipated in store for your night.

Words: 6.4k

Warnings: Partying, Alcohol, Power Dynamics, Semi-Smutty, Inferences toward sex, Age Gap

Mentions of: Government, Betrayal, Treason, Hypocrisy, Grief

A/N: I've been waiting so long to get to this part! Ahhh, I feel like this is really when things will start to change, considering the reader's backstory and her growing relationships with the guys. Not to mention that some of the main plot points are finally being set in motion. I decided to not fully wind up writing them together since the chapter got so long, but I'm sure it'll def pop up in flashbacks later on down the line.

It's safe to say that you're more than a little out of it by the time you guys get into Sharon's vehicle. She insists on driving, and the guys need a good view of Zemo to make sure he's in check. That leaves the three of you in the back: Sam, you, and Bucky. As your journey takes you back a similar way you'd come, you can't help but still be fascinated with the lights. What's Sharon got in store for you all? What's her plan? While you're not super familiar with her, you wonder what she was doing in Low Town Madripoor in the first place. Surely, she hasn't been following you all this whole time.

Once she parks outside a luxury-style apartment, you follow Sam out the back door and follow Sharon into her place. "Woah," you whisper, taking in the fact that not only one security guard--slash--doorman stands out front, but two. Through a big metal sliding door lies an art exhibit, glass containers lined with neon blue lights illuminate different sculptures and craftsmanship. Real antique and pricey-looking things.

"Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well," Sam comments as he walks beside Sharon alongside the containers. Whatever she'd been going through when you'd first had your run-in has clearly dissipated as she seems to come to life upon Sam's teasing.

"Well, at some point I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler. You know how much I can get for a real Monet?" She asks, gesticulating with her arms as she explains her situation. While Zemo lingers a few steps behind you with Bucky trailing, you can't help but slow your steps upon this information.

"Easy, deactivate your hustle mode," Sam warns, "You sell fake Monets." He wants to clarify. While Sharon might pretend to allude to a profited criminal life such as Zemo, Sam clearly thinks she's a goodie-two-shoes.

"No, she means real. This gallery specializes in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics," Zemo explains nonchalantly as he follows Sharon, continuing to round the exhibit.

"So it's true then? What they say..." You ask them, eyes shifting from Zemo onto Sharon, then finally Bucky who stands a few feet before you while Sam occupies the space by your side.

"It's true. You know, half the artwork in museums like the Louvre is fake. Real stuff sits in places like this," Bucky answers, eyes still taking in the pastel-dotted canvas.

"There's no way," you whisper to yourself, voice trailing off as you take in the scenery. Heading down the two steps, you approach Bucky's side, eyes scanning over the Monet painting before you. You've seen his other works in museums, though now you know they were fakes. Regardless, you don't think you'd be able to tell the difference.

"Okay, guys, I see what you're doing. You're more worldly than good old Sam," your friend complains, still stationed where you stood a few moments ago.

"Yeah? What's Google say?" Bucky asks, a playful tone curling around his words as he physically rounds Sam. This elicits your attention as you shift your gaze onto Sam, glad he's now enlightened onto the, well... not-so theory of conspiracy you and Bucky both seem to know about.

"No shit," Sam exclaims, clearly bewildered by the thought. In all honesty, you can't blame him. To think people would do something so greedy and frivolous? Useless? It takes seeing it firsthand to really believe, and it seems Sam's eyes are finally opening to that aspect.

"Come on, guys-" Sharon calls from the stairs, Zemo waiting a few steps behind her as they stare in your general direction. "You need to change. I'm hosting clients in an hour," She informs.

While you don't question her, you are curious as to what sort of clients and business she does... besides selling art, that is. There's a world of art, of course, yet you know that there's only so much a lifestyle of it can afford. Following the group upstairs, you're taken aback by the fact that this whole place is starting to seem like Sharon's.

"Of course, I've got all this stuff out here for you guys-" Sharon eyes the men, "-but I've got a few things you can borrow for tonight. Come with me," she commands.

Following Sharon through a series of archways and pristine doors you find yourself in a massive bedroom. Intricate patterns are embroidered on the comforter, and through an open doorway, you can see that there's a walk-in closet. It's precisely where she's led you, her hands gesturing for you to follow. "I know. Nice right? Every girl needs a walk-in," she comments before chuckling to herself.

Taken aback by the wide array of shoes on the shelves, purses on hangars, coats, dresses, pants, and shirts all hang neatly in their place, their own rack for each category of piece. Though you aren't sure where to even start, let alone if you even want to. Everything is too expensive, you couldn't possibly use them. Sharon speaks up.

Her fingers run across the fabric, only stopping once she spots something, though her back is to you and therefore your view is obscured. "Try this on, I have the shoes to go with them and together? I'm sure you'll have a great night!" She says over her shoulder before winking. With a quick hand she tosses the hangar to you, which you scramble to catch. "I'll see you downstairs, then."

The dress is a plain black fabric, a halter top cut, two slits on either side of your hips at the start of your thighs. It's a little more exposing than what Zemo had picked, though with everything that's happened tonight, you feel for some reason that you can't bring yourself to care. If someone sees something, it's not like it's the end of the world. Besides, with this dress you could wear a thong or panties. Though the panties would have to be matching or sexy, intentionally meant to be seen as a fashion statement. Deciding to just go for the dress, no bra needed and your panties already discarded, you're glad for the comfy snug fit the fabric offers. It's far more stretchy and accommodating than Zemo's. The shoes you have on work, the only thing left to do is to put your hair up. Finding a claw clip on Sharon's vanity, you figure she won't mind if you borrow it for tonight. After all, it's a lot less intimate than a dress.

With a wet wipe from the bathroom, you're all good to go. Makeup is natural enough to pass as anyone, hair is different, so is your dress, and while the shoes may not be, with the darkness of the gallery you're sure no one will notice. Especially not if there's going to be drinking; and no good party lacks a variety of drink. Heading back to the foyer Sharon had originally brought you to, you find the guys settling in nicely.

Taking in the intricate pieces placed throughout the room, you inspect each one carefully. "Much better," Sharon comments, heels clicking against the wooden floors announcing her return.

"What's going on, Sharon? You don't ever wanna come back home?" Sam asks. The shuffle of fabric and the faint tinkling of metal tells you he's changing his shirt again! Trying to find something suitable for him is practically impossible, and this, you swear. Out of your peripheral vision, you see Sharon place something on the arm of the couch while Zemo stands by the bar.

"They'll lock me up if I ever step foot back in the States. Madripoor doesn't allow extradition," She informs.

"Good to know," you joke to yourself. Fingers running along the smooth wood of the desk behind the couch, you don't notice how the comment seems to have everyone's eyes lingering on you for a moment before Sam chuckles and shakes his head.

"Look, sorry I didn't call, but after the Blip and the chaos, I just..." He attempts. This piques your interest, not initially intent on eavesdropping, though this sounds like something a lover might say. Did Sam and Sharon-? You don't wanna know... do you?

"Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right?" Her tone softens, a genuine question reaching out to form some sort of connection. An attempt to regain a friendship, you think. "I mean the way you gave up that shield, deep down you must know it's all hypocrisy."

Eyes rising from the necklace displayed by the clothes rack, your eyebrows furrow in surprise. Wasn't Sharon CIA? To join the government so outright, then denounce it only a few years later? Something's fishy about it and eerie in a way you don't like. Even if what she's saying elicits a subconscious subtle nod of your head.

"He knows. And not so deep down," Zemo comments with a raise of his drink. This garners everyone's attention for a moment. You can't help but stare as you linger on him. Curious... Questioning.

"By the way, how is the new Cap?" Sharon asks, hands in her pockets. You aren't CIA by any means, but you know how to read body language. She's clearly got her guard up, but for what? You're not sure.

"Don't get me started," Bucky groans.

"Please, you buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit," Sharon argues. You round the room, peeking through the windowed panes of the glass doors into surrounding rooms to see what goodies lie there. If the rooms you've seen so far are anything to go by, you're sure the rest of the apartment complex is loaded with treasures. "Before you were his pet psychopath-" it doesn't take looking to know she's referring to Zemo, considering her positioning and emphasis, "-you were Mr. America! Cap's best friend."

Although you don't comment, you can't help the way your lips curl inward in a silent attempt at holding back any sort of chortle or chuckle from emerging.

"Wow. She's kind of awful now," Bucky comments. While you might guess he may be joking sarcastically, you can't be sure. Is he just insulting her? Being passive-aggressive? You can't tell.

"Karli Morgenthau and at least seven others have taken the serum," Sam informs, passing you as he rounds the couch the other way and sits across from Bucky.

"You guys really should steer clear of all this for your own safety," Sharon warns. Being in Madripoor and clearly in a position of wealth and selling artwork underground, she must know the rumors.

"We know it's a risk, but we won't leave until we find the person who cracked the code," Sam responds, unfazed and defiant of her advice. Elbows on his knees he leans in closer.

"We got a name. Wilfred Nagel," Bucky discloses. Sharon gets up and crosses Bucky to get to the bar, Zemo gets out of her way and walks toward you to sit in the lone chair by the side table.

"Nagel works for the Power Broker," Sharon replies. A dissatisfied hum rumbles in your chest. You don't want to think about the past, nor worry about how you're going to find the Power Broker to stop the supplier.

"We need your help, Sharon. I can get your name cleared," Sam offers, all the men's eyes intent on her as she pours a drink. Fingers running over the edge of a tapestry hung on the opposite wall, you listen intently.

"You haggling with my life?" She asks, tone sounding genuine to you.

"Not like that," Sam corrects.

"I don't buy that," She responds, and really, you can't blame her. "You pretending like you can clear my name."

You have to admit that Sharon is starting to grow on you in some sense. She's smart, that much is clear. While you don't outwardly boast the things you know will be demonized, she does, and you can respect her for that, if anything. Though you haven't weighed in much, you've been listening. Of course everyone has their judgments and suspicions, and while you may be leaping to conclusions, there's a fishy suspicion brewing in your mind. You only wonder if anyone else is catching onto what Sharon is putting down. Eyes flickering over to Zemo for a moment, you notice him meet your gaze. Immediately looking back to Sharon, you can't help the tiny smile that snags at your lips, blush forming on your cheeks. Originally intending to gather intel, for some reason you couldn't handle the pressure of his gaze.

"-I'm willing to try if you are," you zone back in on what they're saying. "They cleared the bionic staring machine, and he killed almost everybody he's met," Sam points out. A chuckle escapes your lips and you shrink in on yourself, not having expected that.

"-I heard that," Bucky comments to Sam, though his eyes and dissatisfied look are aimed at you. You don't even have to see it from your peripheral to feel his stare, the sense of it sending an internal sort of shiver down your spine.

"I don't trust charity," Sharon posits, intent on finishing their conversation.

"All right, a deal then. You help us out, and we get your name cleared." Sharon accepts Sam's extended hand and they shake on it. Downing her drink, she places the used tumbler aside and starts toward the door you'd entered from.

"Well, I sell to some pretty connected people. Lay low, blend in, enjoy the party. Try to stay outta trouble. I'll see what I can find." With that, she's out of the foyer and onto whatever business it is that she's doing.

"Trouble," Zemo repeats playfully with a shrug of his shoulders, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Yeah, that's what you better not be," you warn. Eyes meeting his, you can't help but find that his playfulness has spread to you, even if you know you can switch into gear and act in accordance with the mission if need be.

"Well, you know me," Zemo taunts. With a swig of his drink, he lays the finished glass atop the coaster on the table beside his chair.

"That's the problem," Bucky quips, standing as Zemo moves to follow where Sharon had gone.

--------

You have to admit, with wherever Sharon stands in your likes, she can throw a good party... that much is clear. Originally determined to view all the authentic art pieces lingering around the gallery, it hadn't actually taken as long as you'd have thought. With a drink or two offered along the way, you can feel yourself start to loosen up. Hors d'oeuvres are littered throughout the party, and with Sharon being such the great hostess, you hardly feel the usual sense of guilt for indulging when it comes to fancy parties. It also doesn't help that they're really good and you hadn't eaten a lot, really, since Zemo's jet was scarce of in-date snacks. Eating expired foods wasn't really a risk you were willing to participate in today.

As the night goes on you find your way to the dance floor after a little persuasion from Sam. While you all might still be focused on your mission, the excuse of blending in is one of necessity. It's not really a party if there isn't dancing, right? The Avenger eventually decides to ditch you in favor of making small talk with some of the other partygoers. He's most likely trying to seek information, knowing him.

Dancing with Sam was different than dancing with Zemo. You hadn't anticipated for this to happen, but considering he's maintained a central viewpoint for the boys, that just so happens to be the dance floor. He's discarded his jacket at some point clearly as his chest is in full display in the plum sweater he's donning. It'd started off friendly, simply busting out your lamest dance moves for fun in the same vicinity. Yet, as the songs played on and you grew closer in distance to make conversation, the vibe between you shifted.

There's a reason they say not to mix drinks... and now you know why. It takes a matter of a half hour for your resolve to break, the inner dialogue, the constant fighting of the comical angel and demon on either shoulder bickering with one another. Overall, the devil had won- there was no use in denying what you want, that you have a plan, and are pursuing it. You're going after what you want. Using any chance to get closer, any excuse to feel his hands on you. the recent memory of his hot breath fanning across your neck, the spark when your lips met... it's still heavy on your mind and hot in your blood.

"You should know this one," you joke across the few feet between you as you sway to the music, the beat of the music ramping up, the bass and beats getting faster and faster toward that familiar climax you all know so well. 'There's not a soul out there-' bouncing to the rhythm, you let your hips sway as your arms find their way above your head.

'Give Me,

Give Me,

Give Me A Man After Midnight~'

It's a remix, the techno music is very different from the original, however, you can't deny you enjoy the song. It's fitting if nothing else. If anyone were to ask why you want this, you couldn't explain it--not rationally--and looks aren't a good enough reason, you know that better than anyone. While there are certain characteristics that could be said of his mannerisms and personality, you wouldn't dare to compliment or lead to the ego of a madman overextending its peace. Many would argue it already had, after all.

He doesn't seem to mind either. Whether you're simply keeping up the act, even if it's unnecessary here, you both find yourselves indulging in the ambiance around you. Breath heavy with the adrenaline of dancing and the higher temperature of lots of bodies on the dance floor, you're being bumped and jostled by the people around you. His hand extends at some point, loosely wrapping around your waist as the two of you draw nearer to one another. Over all, it's safe to say that Sharon may just have predicted your 'great night'.

As it draws closer to the wee hours of the morning, Sam makes his way around to advise you all of making it an early night. Tomorrow is supposed to be busy, so it makes sense. While the four of you head upstairs in a staggered manner, you find that once you're changed and sat on the bed that you still don't feel ready to officially end the night. Eyes drawn to the red dress and accompanying apparel you'd borrowed earlier, you can't help the thoughts that follow. However lewd they may be, it doesn't stop your mind from drawing up a vague plan.

Part of you knows it's a bad idea, that you shouldn't do this, but then again... what's the worse it could lead to? A one night stand? There's no reason that leads you to believe, rationally, that any of the same thoughts are going through his head at all. Therefore, you continue your trapse down the hallway. The wooden floors creak every so often, and you don't miss the way that Sam's clicking fingers on the keyboard come to a momentary halt before returning to its previous pace. It'd go unnoticed if you didn't know better, but you know he's well aware of your presence, just as you are of his.

You'd already thought this through--the excuse--the lie. It's a shame, really, to have to lie to a friend whom you love dearly... yet, you know there's no telling the truth in this circumstance. Yet, there is... isn't there? After all, you know it'd be taking a play from Zemo's book, you're sure, no doubt, but anyone who's smart knows that all lies hold some semblance of the truth. Hence, your excuse; smooth and comforting material weighing your hands down by your stomach, you're about to walk past the back of the couch when his soft voice stops you.

"You're going to visit him?" It's a reasonable question, a check-in. Something to note, since, he is a criminal... a dangerous person. Someone to be kept in check. Unpredictable, as they'd said.

"Just returning these," you answer, lifting the bundle of clothing and the accessories of your disguise for Sam's viewing.

"I'm sure he could care less, but, by all means-" Sam extends his hand in the direction of the hallway. "If he tries anything-"

"-call out, I got it. I'm only planning on dropping this off. Maybe asking him something if he's up for conversation. But it shouldn't be too long. Don't worry," you attempt to reassure him. "You should get some sleep soon, too, you know? Especially if we're to do this in the morning," you shift the topic, intent on reminding him of what you hope is tiredness showing, even if the bags under his eyes grow heavier with the hours.

With a nod in your direction, Sam lets his attention drift back to the computer screen, intent on whatever work it is he has waiting within the digital world. Though you'd like to say this relieves you, lifts a burden from your shoulder, it only makes the weight on them sink further into you. Whether it's dread, guilt, or shame at all of the incredulous scenarios that run through your mind in possible what-ifs of the conversation to play out between you and the Baron, you can't do anything but shake your head in an attempt to dissuade them. Bare feet padding across the wooden floor, you notice how the dim light that peeks from under the door gives your heart a reason to speed up. Really, its the realization that you've never truly been alone with this man since you've met. The rumors, perhaps, the danger they claim he holds... the possibility of a supposed madman snapping at any point is equal parts exhilarating and yet, still terrifying. At least when you let yourself truly contemplate this fact.

With a hesitancy at the door, you lift your small fist up to the carved oak, lingering... debating. While you'd thought all resolve had fled the moments after you'd downed your fifth shot... the buzz of alcohol has long since seemed to dwindle away from your mind, the accelerating carefree feeling emptied from your veins and replaced by the cautiousness of someone who Sam would tease is entirely, all you. Determined to defy the limits of the box your closest friends place you in for one reason or another, you gently knock on the door.

There's no response. Something you'd expect, if not for the way that there's a shuffle of fabric and then a sigh on the other side. "Come in." Cold golden ornate knob within your grasp, you turn it and push the heavy door open enough for you to slip inside before quietly closing it behind you.

"Hi." It's the first word that comes to mind, the only thing you can think to say, to break the silence between you as he takes in your bare goosebump-riddled legs and the satin robe you have on.

"Hello," he returns the sentiment, unmoving from his position, torso upright against the headboard as he lies in bed, legs outstretched before him. "What a surprise to see you, Schön. Though I should've guessed from the light footsteps and quiet knock. James would certainly not allow me a moment of privacy, nor Sam." Sitting up a little straighter, his hands clasp in his lap. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Swallowing your shyness, as you can't simply stare at him forever--that'd be far too embarrassing--you lift your arms a bit for emphasis. "I thought I would return these to you." There's a wooden chair with a striped pattern of cloth covering the cushiony seat standing by the vanity. That's where you place the pile of folded clothing and shoes. Although you're no longer facing him, you can feel his gaze lingering on your figure. When you turn around again, he has his head tilted, no doubt thinking about something.

"You can keep the clothes, Schön, I don't need them back. However, I'm sure you knew that. Why are you really here?" He questions.

"What if I really was just here to return the clothing?" You offer, mirroring him unconsciously with a little tilt of your own head.

"Then I'd say you're courteous, and ask how you liked the outfit I picked out for you," he retorts. Even from across the room, you can spot a flicker of something within his irises. Whether he's playing with you, toying with you, or testing you, you're unsure. This question, however, puts you on the spot. A bemused smile graces your lips and you don't try to hide it. Taking in his state of wealth, you decide not to comment on how expensive you thought everything was, as you'd rather not know. It's better to play on his level.

"I... thought it was very nice. Not something I'd normally wear, but for a nice evening out, I think it was a good pick. The shoes were cool, the gems on the back," you recount.

"The color suited you wonderfully. Brought out your features, just as I'd predicted," he comments with a somewhat smug look upon his face. Seemingly half-placated with the notion, though there's still something gnawing at the seams of his resolve. "There's another reason you're here, whether you're willing to admit it or not." This is a test, you're well aware.

"Mmm," the hum leaves your lips before you can even begin to think of a retort. Turning on your spot, you can't help but run your fingers along the carved wooden back of the chair, walking your fingers along it and taking a step further into the room as you think. "Am I?" You stop moving, offering a look in his direction. "What if I said that you intrigue me? That I wanted to ask you how you do it?" You posit.

Tongue sneaking out to wet his lips, the Baron listens intently. Though he silently chuckles to himself at you returning his question with another question, the second half of your thoughts elicit a narrowing of his eyes. This notion has caused pause for his own thought. "Do... what, Schatz?" He plays along, subconsciously leaning a little closer despite being across the room.

Though the various thoughts and moments from tonight race across your mind, there's one theme that you can't bear to continue reliving. One thought, one realization that you know will have you getting nowhere in the coming days. Jaw threatening to clench down on itself, you can't help but sigh as your hands ball up into fists by your sides. "I... tonight, I just noticed how... in every instance, no matter what seemed to be going on, you... didn't seem scared. Like nothing fazed you," it comes out a whisper. Those final words. Though you'd been trying to search for the right words, everything came out how it wanted to, yet in the end you couldn't help but whisper the truth. It seemed like nothing fazed him. Meanwhile you... were downright terrified. Scared in a way no one has made you feel. Ever. And the worst of it is that you know it's not over. Tomorrow you will get up, alongside the rest of your friends and acquaintances and get geared up and ready to face a man who's only haunted your past.

"Oh..." Zemo responds, your name falling off his lips as if you were simply a child, a silly girl that he feels pity for. Something shifted in his demeanor by the time you finally raise your eyes to meet him again, not sure when you had dropped your vision to the floor. Possibly too embarrassed to admit the truth.

It's this moment... that's when things changed, you think. Time settles in the space between you, the air thick and heavy with confusion and a cluster of effervescent emotions bubbling up and out of you both into the air, a swirling and confusing domination of raw emotion. There's no denying what's there; the truth, the matter of your age held right before you in time like a reflection of your souls. While you'd both endured a heaviness of trauma encumbered in your life time and time again, there's no denying that he's the older man, that he's experienced more... seen more, done more, lived more. And you... well, let's save the stereotype for literature digests, will you?

"Don't-" you warn, the rise of embarrassment hitting you like a brick wall as you begin to march toward the door with a speed that leaves him in a whirlwind. What surprises you both, however, is the way that as soon as your hand is reaching for the doorknob, his is roughly placed atop it. His hand effectively trapping yours underneath. You hadn't even heard him get up, yet you can feel the heat coming off his body only inches away.

"Come," he beckons, "listen." With gentle hands he peels yours away from the knob as he guides you over to the side of the bed, simply sitting. A pat of his free hand on the empty space beside him lets you know what he wants. Really, you'd want it too... if it weren't for the conflicting emotions in your stomach making you want to tear up.

He seems to pick up on your hesitance as he stands once more, hands tentatively moving to ghost over your shoulders, tacitly asking for your permission. When you don't push him away, he places them on you, hands encompassing your satin-covered shoulders. "You have to understand, Meine Süße," he starts, voice holding a softer tone than you've ever heard him use. "I joined my country's military as soon as I was eligible. From the time I was a recruit to the time I eventually became a Colonel..." Zemo sighs as he tears his gaze from you, the motion eliciting your gaze on him in turn. "The point is, I have been through more, seen more, than you and anyone will ever know. And despite my training, the truth still remains... disregarded by most."

Soft hand sliding down your shoulder to your wrist, his long fingers gently wrap around it as he guides you toward the bed. Sitting, you follow suit beside him, shoulder to shoulder as his arm winds its way around your shoulder. "As I see it, there is only reason to be afraid of death if one feels they have something left to live for. Would you agree?" While speaking you'd noticed his gaze, even if no longer stationed on you, become more far off and glazed over. As you silently ponder on his words, his eyes find your face, gauging you no doubt.

"Yeah, I suppose so... though are you saying you don't have anything left to live for?" You prod, eyes shifting between his as you attempt to read him, the two of you finally making eye contact once more.

"I did, once, yes. Though your friends would most likely also claim my recklessness only provides evidence for this theory," he answers. Zemo may not mention it explicitly, but you know that he's referring to his family. You'd heard the stories from Sam, the details from Bucky. That's why he tried to destroy the Avengers. Or did, considering the rift he'd created.

"Maybe... but you know that most people would argue that when you don't feel you have a reason to live anymore, that's an opportunity to find a new one, right?" You offer. Brushing your hair behind your ear, your vision drifts from his face toward the wall before you both. "And don't get me wrong. I understand. I do, really... I'd be lying if I said that I felt I had any sort of reason right now, but... I also think there's a certain cynicism in giving up hope. Maybe it's my naivety... my lack of experience in life comparingly... but I believe there's hope for everyone."

He hums in contemplation, "Perhaps." It's the only answer you receive, his eyes still lingering on your face for a moment before he, too, finds his own spot on the wall across from the bed. Neither of you move, still stuck in quiet consideration.

Held safe within his warm arms, there's a relaxation that finds you in the blue. You hadn't anticipated the night going this way, and yet... you wouldn't change it for anything. The answer was unexpected, but you can't deny that you'd gotten an answer. Heart thumping steadily in your chest, you finally take in a deep breath before leaning back just enough to peer up at him from underneath your thick lashes. "Thank you, Zemo," you whisper. There's no reason to be loud, not when the night is so quiet, so still, and there's only so much room between you.

"Helmut," he offers, a slight nod of his head downward in your direction, a squeeze of your hand in reassurance.

"Thank you, Helmut," you repeat, teasing slightly as you use the name he'd offered. An amused smile graces your lips and his grip on you loosens, glad to see you're no longer feeling beaten down. Unbeknownst to the both of you, while his grip has loosened, the distance between you is increasingly closing. In a matter of seconds, you can't help but jump off the ledge you'd been teetering off all night long- diving into the ocean that is Helmut.

Pressing your lips to his gently, the shocked gasp that resonates through his closed mouth easily turns into a hum as he returns the kiss, then draws out into a growl as his hand roughly finds your cheek, gripping it tightly with a desperate need. A whimper involuntarily leaves your throat as this happens, unsure what you've unearthed. Slowly forcing himself to pull away, his forehead rests against yours as you both breathe deeply, in need of the oxygen that streams into your lungs and filters through your blood. "Why?"

It's a question you hadn't anticipated receiving from him. An answer that you weren't prepared to give. Even if you both knew of the inklings and sparks that'd been building and dancing around you all night. "Because you were right," an airy laugh echoes in the space between you, "earlier. I did want something else, even if I wanted this, too." A smile stretches upon your lips, and the contagion spreads, Helmut mirroring it as an amused smile of his own tugs at the corners of his lips. The moment is short; a brushing of your noses against one another as you breathe in the same light-hearted air. Each of you tempting the other to be the first to lean in and capture a kiss from the other. Some unspoken instinctual game, perhaps.

Lips darting in for another peck, you're not surprised when his hand moves from cupping your cheek to rounding your head in search of a hold, a grasp of some sort. His hand winds into your hair, fingers gripping it tenderly. Pulling you in with his lips, he draws back, making you careen after him in search of his lips. Yet the instant he lies back, hands moving mindlessly down to your hips to help you straddle him and stay steady, the spark is interrupted. Helmut lies on the bed, a look crossing his face that leaves you knowing.

How can one read a stranger like they're a book they'd left open on a coffee table, passed by dozens of times? The heat where your clothed sex meet his undeniable erection. a spark sated in nips and kisses you'd been teasing each other with all night, yet there's something unsaid. "We don't have to," you voice it. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to." The hand that's not secured on his chest and holding you up runs down the front of his robe, the thick and cozy material running beneath your fingertips.

"I want to..." his voice trails off, "I just..."

"Don't want to offend her. I understand," you answer for him. Lips pursing into a thin line, the upward tilt of the inner corners of your eyebrows betray that semblance, showing your empathy. Even if to him it might appear as some sort of pity. "Though... if I may?" You inquire.

"You may," he encourages, curious to hear your thoughts. Warm splayed hands lie on your thinly robed hips keeping you steady and preventing you from grinding down on him and teasing further, even if you aren't presently doing so. A precaution, nonetheless.

"I know I didn't know her, and I've only heard a little, but... if there's anything I can say, I'd think she'd want you to be happy." The sentiment lingers in the air, and you offer him a saddened smile, quickly intent on clarifying. "And I'm not saying that to get you to sleep with me, I just... I think you should know. If anyone hasn't said it, I think any wife that truly loves her husband would eventually want him to find happiness again. However, it may be."

Silence settles in the air for a moment, and his lack of response elicits a spike of anxiety as you continue to voice your thoughts. "I know it probably doesn't mean anything coming from me, a stranger, but I still do believe in what I said," you chuckle, "and that includes people some may otherwise consider criminal, but... I believe there's hope for you. To find another reason."

"Verdammte Hölle," he curses. One of the hands on your hip squeezes for a moment. "I know," he acknowledges, "I just..."

"Haven't since?" You question, noticing the slight pinch of his brows. It's a guess, a posture in relation to the circumstance you both come from.

"Exactly," he affirms. Searching your eyes, you leave him no room for doubt as you lean down so you're chest to chest.

"Then we'll take it slow. If that's what you want," you reassure him, eyes searching his for some sort of clue into his thoughts.

"Yes, just bear with me, Schatz. It's been a while for me," He reveals, a hint of red tinging his cheeks. Whether it be from blush, embarrassment, or lust, you can only think of how handsome it makes him look in the golden light pouring from the bedside lamp.

"Me too, don't worry," you reassure. Hands resettling themselves on his chest, you both lean in, lips easily finding their way back to one another.

~~~~~~~~

translations:

Schatz = treasure, sweetheart, darling

Schön = lovely, beautiful, nice

Verdammte Hölle = fucking hell.

Meine Süße = my darling, sweet, dear, honey

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

tmt taglist: @wheres-mylove , @ashy-kit

#baron helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #tmt #the missing title #the missing title series #my series #my writing #mcu reader insert #marvel reader insert #helmut zemo x reader smut #tfaws reader insert #the falcon and the winter soldier reader insert #read tags on top

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autumnshighlady · 8 months

Note

ok this is so stupid but i really want to see neris and reader interactions,, like the small things, the comfort, the protectiveness,,,, ughh love what you've done w the story man, desperately waiting for the next part fr. (go on your own pace tho) glad to know i've shifted you a little bit on a azriel thing (devious smile) - ithink he's a good character for most people because he barely had a personality in the books and so we can usually make up stuff yk, like he's mostly just broody in the books and we're told stuff abt his personality but not shown it. can't wait to see what happens next! ohh also the dragon interactions!!! i wanna see those too!!! eris has hounds right,,, it wld be cute for them to protect nes and r tooo,,,, ahhh sorry this is literally just me ranting lol, obv feel free to ignore the reqs,,, i really want to let you know that your writing is good bc you seem to get less interactions than you should!! and a weird amt of hate lmao like whats w the people being rude about ialtpwf and wanting guys my age so badly, like i enjoyed it despite not particularly liking the daddy kink partbut like. really,, why so rude??? want to see how reader fares in front of beron too, i assume word of her power will reach him too/. anyway, how long are you planning on pushing the beron overthrowal thing (im being curious not being like ugh when are u plannign on ending it,, in case thats what it sounded like,, idk man im overthinking). oh also! want to see court relations with all of them after berons gone. before berons gone. all of it, i want them to be better leaders/people to the court people yk. oh!! also lucien-reader friendship!!! love that!! we havent seen much of it but hes def the kind of guy to tease r abt eris when they start actually flirting and getting near a relationship yk. eris-lucien brotherhood too tho, obviously. also the lady of the autumn court!! watching them bond w her!!! ahh jfoisfkjmdofikndfvg ium sorry have a great day today1!! hope you rest well after that long ass shift. oh yeah i agree w you on the feyre thing, she's def just mostly like a pawn to rhys yk, i think she was better as a char when she was w tamlin tbh, altho obviously i dont want her to be with someone who kind of abused her without any groveling at least/ cant wait to see more interactions fr!!!! oh when i said in the story, i meant the actual books, well and yourss but the actual books mainly! anyway i think you've managed to be realistic w all of them in a way that is good. bye! oh same anon as last time. should i give myself a name, is that fine,, i'll choose * anon. sure.

i can’t wait for you to see more of the neris x reader interactions! you’ll love it. i feel like i’ve done a decent job of their dynamic so i’m super proud of it so far.

Azriel’s journey is one i have planned out - it’s going to be complicated because yk he’s been loyal to rhys for 500 years and that’s not suddenly going to change, but he will continue to play a role.

you’ll see more of the dragons for sure! and the hounds will be involved too so fear not ;)

yeah idk why people got so weird about guys my age like i’m glad they enjoyed it of course but i kinda did everything i wanted to do with that fic so i don’t feel i have anything else to add to it if that makes sense

beron will play a bigger role soon! as far as them overthrowing him, prob within a couple chapters maybe a bit longer. im still playing around w the details of how exactly it’s going to happen

expect a LOT more lucien and lady of autumn in the later chapters! i love love love writing for lucien so i’ve got special stuff for him planned hehe

tons more interactions to come. more lucien, azriel, gwyn and emerie, cassian, etc. thank you for your message angel and NEVER apologize for rambling - nobody has taken the time to say this much about my fic so far in one go so i LOVE reading these. send as many as you want <3

#* anon<3 #ialtpwf #<3

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whatologys · 2 years

Note

ahhh I love how you wrote part 2 and the angst with reader and lloyd!! 😭😭 but I love that kai is the new bf 🥺!! Sorry to request again ,, but could we get a part 3 where reader and lloyd make up, and decided that they are better off doing their own thing??

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: none :)

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: lloyd garmadon x gn!reader

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 0,6 k

𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡: yes/no

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff :p

𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖘: none

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰: i'm happy that you liked the other part so here your request is, again very sorry if this took long, i have too much homework lol.

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: it's been ages since you've seen Lloyd, but when you do, you guys finally make up.

You sighed as you picked up your laundry basket, this was the third time the washingmachines in your apartment building were broken. Walking out the door of the building, you started your journey to the nearest laundromat, which happened to be like 2 blocks away. So atleast you didn't have to walk for ages. Normally, you'd take your car and go to one with better reviews, but no can do when you need these clothes clean now.

The few things you really like about the laundromat, are that it was never very busy at this time of the day. The time being very close to midnight, lucky for you, it's open 24/7. Secondly, it had really cheap snacks in their vending machine. Other then that, it's really not that great of a place.

You did get some weird looks when walking down the street, I mean, who goes to a landromat so close to midnight? Honestly, you didn't need to do this now, you could've just waited for the landlord to fix the machines, but that could take ages. So instead of panicking when it's still not fixed and you have no clothes, you'll offer some sleep for this now.

While thinking about the place, you arrived and went inside. After loading all your dirty clothes into the washer you put in your earbuds and turned on your favourite playlist. Now that you had to wait for the clothes, you decided to grab a snack.

You were now waiting on the dryer to finish, that you had started after you grabbed your clothes from the washing machine. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and looked around again. To your surprise, you saw no other than Lloyd Garmadon. He greeted you and said that he also came to wash his clothes, which you thought was pretty obvious (it was a laundromat after all).

You decided that you coudn't just ignore the boy, your laundry wasn't finished yet so you really didn't have an excuse. While Lloyd put all his clothes in a machine you two talked about how you were both doing. "Nothing too interesting has happened lately, so what have you been up too?" you asked the boy. He said that they were just mostly training for if something were to ever happen, while still loading clothes into the washer.

"Hold on, are those the pyjamas I gave you for christmas?" you asked as the boys cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. He stammered as he shoved them away, "Well, they're very cozy.". You laughed and said "Yea, it's one of the reasons I bought them for you, I'm glad you're still enjoying them.".

You heard the beep of the dryer with your clothes and piled everything into your laundry basket. You looked at Lloyd and said "It's been nice catching up, I hope we can be friends again.". He smiled, nodded, and said that he would like that too.

As you started to walk out the door, Lloy said your name. "Do you need me to walk you home?". You thanked him and refused, "It's really not that far, plus I know how to fight when necesarry.". You bid the boy goodbye and walked out the door, without being interrupted this time. When you arrived home you sent a little text to Lloyd, just to let him know you were home and safe.

You out your clothes next to the iron, that would be a problem for tomorrow. You looked at the clock and decided to go to sleep, after sending a goodnight text to your boyfriend.

#whatology #x reader #ninjago lloyd #lloyd ninjago #lloyd garmadon #gn!reader #kai smith

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risukadarlin · 2 years

Text

[piofiore no banshou] vol. 6: dante - track three

3; non vedo l'ora

masterpost

✿

[00:07] Are… these seats okay?

What are you going to order?

Take your time.

I’m glad we came while it’s empty.

Apparently it’s always packed in the morning.

That’s right. We haven’t been to a bar together for ages.

Was the last time when we went in Venice last year?

I’ve been trying not to go unless somebody invites me.

If the Falzone capo entered a bar without warning, none of the customers would be able to enjoy themselves.

Especially not if they live somewhere controlled by one of the other organisations.

But now, the entire city is under Falzone control.

It isn’t like the entirety of the Visconti mafia disappeared, but…

We have a pleasant relationship.

There are still Chinese people in Vereno but Lao-Shu isn’t operating any longer.

Considering everything, it’s even more of a statement when I walk proudly around town.

Including when you’re involved.

But I’m not doing anything shady.

And we would never hurt a citizen without good reason; we have more pride than that.

I used to think it was important that people feared me because I was a member of the mafia.

I thought I had to look down on people and so put on quite the front.

But now I know that binding people through fear will never end well.

[01:52] So… I realised I don’t just want to be feared, but respected too.

Well, I don’t think it’d suit me if I tried to act like Gilbert.

Ah, did you decide what you’re having?

Got it.

An espresso and a latte.

And a cherry filled pasticciotto, please.

Yes, I did want to stop putting on a front…

But that’s different.

I thought I should order espresso when I’m in front of people…

I should still protect even just a fraction of my image.

There are steps to it.

One day, I want to be able to buy and eat sweets in public.

Like when we ate gelato on holiday.

The truth is…

I’ve never been to a gelateria in Burlone.

Nicola used to tell me about how he bought gelato for Leo, but I pretended not to care.

I’m sure Nicola knew the truth, though.

He’s asked me before if I wanted him to buy me any.

I said I didn’t need any, though.

Oh, also, I want to go see a movie.

We can’t do that at the mansion.

When we talk like this I always realise how much I don’t know and how much I still want to do.

Will you join me?

I knew I could count on you.

I can’t wait.

Grazie.

I don’t need sugar.

You use it.

In my cup too…?!

I’m sorry…

[04:14] I thought this might be the case but…

Putting sugar in espresso really does nothing at all.

It’s too bitter, the sugar doesn’t help in the slightest.

I understand that some people like it.

I mean, Nicola drinks it every day.

No, it’s fine.

You have the cake, please.

It’ll get the taste out of my mouth…

But I can’t do that here.

[04:48] I suppose no one is looking right now.

Okay…

Ahhh.

It’s quite hot.

But it’s really good.

The cherry syrup is a great addition.

Thankfully, the bitterness in my mouth is gone now.

But it doesn’t hold a candle to your dolce.

Let me think…

I love your crostata and your cannoli, but…

If I had to pick just one, it’d be your torta caprese.

You make it for me all the time but I never get tired of eating it.

If you don’t mind, I’d like it if you could make me another after the ceremony, when things are quiet again.

Oh, it’s nothing.

I just got a bit excited.

Let’s go on another date like this, after the wedding.

Like a normal couple.

When we’re done here, should we walk along the coast to the church?

It might be nice to take a detour every once in a while.

✿

[06:15] That’s right.

About the honeymoon…

You said you wanted to go to the Côte d'Azur, didn’t you?

It’s really popular so there’ll be a lot of tourists there during vacation season.

I want to book our hotels soon.

Let’s talk about it later.

Long journeys are quite tiring so I thought about maybe spending the first day in Monaco.

It’s right next to the Italian border, after all.

What do you think?

I’m glad.

It’s really famous for its casinos and I heard the buildings were designed by the same person who made the Paris opera house.

We can’t gamble but we can still look at it from the outside.

Then we can spend some time in Nice.

If there’s any other cities you want to visit, we can stay there too.

I’ve never been to the Côte d'Azur either.

But I’ve heard stories about it.

Apparently famous artists like Renoir loved it.

The weather in summer is bright and clear and the deep blue coast is beautiful.

Some famous bankers built a rose-pink house there over a period of 7 years.

We could also go to Marseilles.

I think you’ll enjoy the markets there.

It’s famous for bouillabaisse and ratatouille but I don’t really know the difference between ratatouille and caponata.

If we want to see the sights, we can visit the Fort of St. Nicholas from “The Count of Monte Cristo”.

The inspiration for the Man in the Iron Mask from the D'Artagnan saga is also nearby.

What do I want to do…?

Hm, well…

I want to go somewhere you’ll enjoy.

I want to grant every wish of yours, no matter how trivial.

And anywhere I go will be fun, if I’m going with you.

I’m happy just to have you by my side.

That’s why I’m so excited about the wedding but also heavy-hearted.

I know it’s tradition for us to spend time apart before the ceremony…

But I already know I won’t be able to relax while we’re apart, even if it’s only for a day.

It’s not funny.

I’m genuinely worried about it.

I guess I have no choice but to grin and bear it.

The Sisters are busy enough as it is.

But they were happy to accept our request and make preparations.

I should be more grateful.

✿

[09:14] Did we take too long?

I hoped to be here a bit earlier, but…

The evening sun is so beautiful.

Almost as beautiful as when I proposed to you in Venice.

I always think about my childhood when I come here.

Obviously, I think about my mother and father…

But also about how I used to look for you during mass.

I’m happy that you’re interested but I don’t have many interesting memories to share with you.

I was a weak child so I didn’t often get the chance to go outside.

Especially not after I was kidnapped.

Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I?

It was around the time Visconti were coming into power and the families were all in disorder.

Nicola was taken too.

Luckily, we both made it home safely.

I don’t really remember it, in truth.

Anyway, both that and the influence of the Great War meant it was deemed too dangerous for important members of the Falzone Family to go outside.

I didn’t go to school either; I had a private tutor.

I started to go outside less and less.

It was so boring.

Eventually, I grew busy learning how to be capo and saw you even less as a result…

A lot happened after my father died too.

It was only in the past few years that I was able to visit the church regularly again.

So when I saw you again for the first time…

I felt a bit lonely.

You still looked familiar but you’d changed a lot–.

No, you’d become much more beautiful.

It felt like you were even further out of my reach than before.

Not that we were ever really close.

You’re right.

That’s different now.

Look how close we are.

I can even hold your hand.

Let’s visit the church before we see the Sisters.

✿

[12:05] This church is full of memories.

It’s a special place for us.

That night, when I held my hand out to you here, was over a year and a half ago.

I could find a hundred excuses for it.

But I don’t think that feeling was a logical one.

Do you remember what I said to you here?

The more I see you smile, the more I want you to laugh.

I want to make you happy, from the bottom of my heart.

My feelings haven’t changed and they never will.

Even if we get married and become a couple, the nature of our relationship changes…

I’ll still be in love with you.

Even if we’re faced with hardships once more…

I know that we’ll be able to overcome them together.

In happy times and difficult ones…

In sickness and in health…

I swear to cherish and love you for the rest of my life.

I adore you.

From the bottom of my heart.

#Dante Falzone #kaito ishikawa #Ishikawa Kaito #Piofiore no Banshou #piofiore #drama cd #Drama CD translation

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stormyoceans · 1 year

Note

ahhh i see what you mean, that happened to me with love mechanics but yinwar's chemistry was actually enough to make me overlook some... things lol but yeah seems like there are some tropes there that i can't be bothered to watch, also i just really trust your taste and views. but hey! at least pond and phuwin showed their potential and now we have this gem!

what was your favorite part of the first episode? mine was probably the pool scene, i feel like so much happened there, the intense eye contact x2 and the hand over hand moment...................... he didn't have to do that but he did it for all of us! they really are seeing each other like genuinely seeing each other i bet that scares them a lot. oh the pining oh the yearning pond does it so well! like the scene when they first met HIS FACEEEE it's gonna be so great just seeing them fall in love. oH IMAGINE THE ANGST IT'S GONNA HURT SOOOO GOOD AND NOT JUST UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW THEY FEEL BUT ALSO AFTER THAT BECAUSE THEY WILL WANT TO PROTECT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME AND IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO BALANCE IT ALL the hype was RIGHT

ugh i wish i could have the will to wait and binge watch because i think i'm able to enjoy shows more when i can do that, and space the episodes how i want or just watch them all in a day, like it's a much more intense experience for me that way and even though it leaves less time to theorize and the fandom experience and all that i personally prefer it. but i cannot see all the pretty gifs and not go to youtube and watch the episode when they are right thereee i wanna join the fun! i actually binge watched vice versa (🥰) and i feel like i liked it so much because i did! i also binge watched love mechanics and i swear to god i would have given up if i was watching that show weekly, and i had to binge watch to my star 2 too cause that was actually hurting me lol this is so long already okay i'll shut up now 💌

fish upon the sky and love mechanics actually fall in the same category of 'shows i can't bring myself to like even if the actors have an insane chemistry' for me, but between the two i did enjoy love mechanics more, even if i cannot stand cheating, so i guess this says a lot about my feelings for FUTS ;;;;;;;;

BUT!!!!!! like you said, the most important thing is that pond and phuwin are now playing in a show with a more mature storyline that makes their chemistry shine and that i can thoroughly enjoy!!!!! and that makes me ridiculously happy!!!!! JUST LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU TRUST MY TASTES?????? THAT'S SUCH AN INCREDIBLE COMPLIMENT THANK YOU!!!!!! 🥺🤧

we must have pretty similar tastes, though, because THE POOL SCENE WAS MY FAVORITE ONE TOO!!!!!! like.. both the hallway and the sneaking out scenes are A LOT, but the pool one is on a whole other level!!!!! not only the tension is already off the charts, but i love how it also says a lot about palm and nueng as characters and perfectly sets up the journey for their relationship!!!! it's the way nueng asks "if i don't tell your dad, what will i get from you?" because that's what he has been taught his entire life, that no one does anything for free, and he got further confirmation of it earlier that day when his classmate made the others stop teasing him only to ask him a favor right after!!!! it's the way palm answers "i have nothing to give you. i have no money" because he sees no value in himself but eventually he is going to (willingly) give nueng exactly what he needs - friendship, care, trust, love - and in doing that he will learn his self worth and start to build his own future!!!!

AND GOD YEAH THE MOMENT THEIR HANDS TOUCHED!!!!! i will never have the words to properly explain the importance of hands in queer culture, but they're often used as objects of desire, as conduits for future intimacy, and once the hands touch that's it: there's no turning back, you can't ignore your want anymore, and the fact that it already happens the second time palm and nueng see each other casts such a sense of inevitability on their relationship!!!! since their first meeting all their interactions have just been so full of pining and yearning and tension and this magnetic pull that makes them so aware of each other and leaves the viewers breathless even if we already know they will end up together!!!! BUT LIKE YOU SAID IT ALSO WON'T END WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE DUTY AND DESIRE AND ABOVE ALL THE WISH TO PROTECT THE OTHER AND GIVE THEM A BETTER CHANCE AT LIFE. ALSO WHEN PALM WILL CALL NUENG BY HIS NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME THEN WHAT!!!!!!!!

anyway..... please never apologize for sending me a long message because 1) I ABSOLUTELY LOVED READING IT, and 2) as you can see brevity is not one of my virtues ;;;;;;;; so please feel free to write as much as you want!!!! 💜

gonna end this by saying that idk if i personally prefer binge watching, but i definitely understand what you mean!!! i do tend to be more forgiving when i watch a series all in one go and it also helps me keep my emotions under control sfjkshdj i think it actually depends a lot on the show itself: some series i like to see week by week because i enjoy freaking out with everyone else, but other ones i NEED to binge watch to preserve my mental health (to my star 2 is a great example, because after seeing the first episode i also went NOPE and waited for all the episodes to be out before going back to it I DON'T DO WELL WITH THAT KIND OF ANGST)

#not only idk what brevity is but i also do not feel normal about nlmg so i apologize for how long this is ;;;;;;#ON ANOTHER NOTE IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE SHARING YOUR VICE VERSA THOUGHTS I WOULD LOVE TO READ THEM #never let me go #never let me go the series #nlmg #m: ask

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dirty-bosmer · 2 years

Note

Ahhh I'm finally all caught up on your Oblivion fic!!! I absolutely devoured it and I am so scared but so excited for the ending. It was such a journey D: anyways, I hope you don't mind if I come by to ask a few questions?? This fic just kind of eats away at my brain. I have so many thoughts. 1) Who was your favorite character to write and why? 2) which chapter was your favorite to write? 3) why do you enjoy making all your characters so sad </3 running out of space now. I love you okay bye

Omg anon, I am so sorry for this late reply!! One of my friends sent me a dozen troll asks and this totally got buried lol. BUT I am glad you have been enjoying the fic, and thank you so much for reading! It’s truly more than I could ever ask for, to have someone read that beast from start to finish 😅

Now for your questions:

Hmmm, for a long time it was Lucien, but now that I'm this close to the end, his scenes are draining me lmao I know what needs to happen but the words are stuck in my brain. Other than that, I have always really enjoyed writing Raminus and Mathieu. Raminus cause he’s an awkward nerd and provided some relief from how smothering Lucien was. Mathieu cause he’s a troublemaker and exceptionally tragic (I am a glutton). Mathieu’s friendship with Nim was a joy to write. They are really quite similar in a lot of ways and by the end, they really did care for each other. I tried to add some levity to his POV scenes, and it tickles me pink that people have told me he’s actually likable in the story (or at least sympathetic) despite the overwhelmingly negative sentiments he garners post-canon quest line. In another life (one that did not involve the purification) Nim probably would have sided with him over Lucien lmao

OH MAN what a question. Maybe the party scenes from early in the fic, where I introduced Arquen and Mathieu. I miss the whimsical days of this story where I could write ridiculous things like that. It was fun. If it’s something more recent, I’d have to say Chapter 67: A Small Death. It was the first chapter I wrote from Nim’s POV post-chaos-in-the-Night-Mother’s crypt, so there was a lot of erm... dissolution of the self to explore. It was really challenging to wrangle with her ascent to godhood while still trying to keep her character consistent with the Nim we followed through the story. Also Nim and Lucien trying to care for each other in the aftermath of the... well, the everything (lol) never fails to amuse me. They’re so pathetic sometimes.

Honestly, I’m not sure 😂 I’m actually living a very fulfilling life and in a very healthy relationship so idk why everything I write is so full of misery and toxicity and pain. I just enjoy making messes but only in a well-contained space so I guess it’s like why I enjoy consuming horror media, gotta live vicariously through the suffering of others 🤷‍♀️ Thanks for the ask, anon! Hope I sated your curiosity :))

#asks #The Illusionist

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ppangjae · 2 years

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hii, hope you're doing well. it's been so long since i read something cause of the shitty college life lmao. i just finished five plus one and i must say, i truly truly enjoyed it. tbh i did love it so much that whatever i type out doesn't do justice to it sjmaka firstly, the thing about your works is that, i don't ever feel like i'm reading a fic or anything, it feels like i'm inside the little world within your perfectly crafted words. like- not many writers do that, not even some of the best selling authors tbh. and gIRL WHY MUST YOU MAKE MY HEART GO CRAZY WITH ALL THOSE BUTTERFLY-IE SCENES 😭 i don't even get butterflies irl istg. and your fics always make me feel warm and fuzzy like watching a slow paced rom com while drinking hot chocolate with soft jazz playing in the background after a long day. T.T and yes i did enjoy reading it as much you did writing it, in fact i love it too much. the first read work of yours was planet girl and you've come a really long way and ever since, whatever you write has been becoming my favorite. and not to be cheesy but you indeed are one of my fav writers if not the most favorite. when you decide to publish you're first book, lmk before so that i can save up to buy it ajkalsmwb and the mc, reminded me too much of myself that i teared up a few times. thank you so much for writing my comfort works, i really appreciate you and all your hardwork. five plus one has become one of my favourite fics now ( don't trust me because i say that everytime you post something new 🚶‍♀️) and i was too shy to send it, so turning the anON MODE. i hope you have a great day alex, thanks for making my day!!!! lots of love to you 💗

ahhh hello love <3 yes, college be kicking us in the butt. i feel u. college is so hard jfhksjdhf.

AHHH i'm happy you enjoyed five plus one! AHHH omg the thing about being a true pisces is that i love making imaginary scenarios in my head, to the point where i tend to build up on them and make imaginary worlds. so writing fics about a specific trope or in a particular universe is something i personally enjoy doing because i do it in real life LMFAO. so ahhh just hearing that you feel like you're being transported to the worlds/universe that i create is so good to hear. it's so hard to write a fic because you have to create the characters, but also the world/universe that they are in! ahh i'm just so happy right now :')

LMFAO i tried to add as much fluffy or heart-fluttering scenes to balance out chef!jae being such a twathead skdjhskjdhf

my goal with my fics is to make sure they bring u comfort and so the fact that you feel warm and fuzzy, as if you're watching a romcom while drinking hot chocolate, while reading them means that i'm doing something right!

you're so sweet :') i'm happy to see that you've been enjoying all of my fics, planet girl being one of them. it's just so hard to be consistent! i am honoured to be one of your fave writers on tumblr :')

ahhh you'll have a lot of time to wait for a published book, it's just been something lingering in my mind jskhdfjkshf and there's a lot of work and effort to be put into making one. so i'm just gonna imagine writing and publishing a book for now LMFAO

chef!yn really be touching our hearts :') i tried to make her as real as possible. we all go through tough times on our journey. some people have a successful journey with no obstacles and some people do. i wanted to portray chef!yn as an aspiring chef that learned to work hard to get what she wants and that her hard work will all pay off. i'm glad you related to chef!yn in some type of way because i sure did relate to chef!yn as well when writing her.

thank you for reading my comfort fics <3 getting feedback like this makes writing worth it! and i can't wait to post your next favourite fic LMAO.

i hope you have a lovely day/night wherever you are! you made my entire night, that's for sure <3

stay safe! love u <3

#ask alex

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fluidborders · 1 year

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The Journey, So Far

Ahhh tumblr. A digital keyboard. Part of me wishes it was as easy for me to handwrite a journal as it is for me to type one. But I grew up typing one. And I grew up on tumblr.

So back I go.

Speaking of back, it's been two months since I've been in Saigon... not even! And so much has happened.

I'm really enjoying apartment life. I love my little space, though I've had to switch because of mold/water damage recently. I love walking in my neighbourhood and I'm beyond pleased with my choice of location in Bình Thạnh. It's quiet and local enough yet close to everything. I'm getting really familiar with it and it feels cozy.

I've made friends. I have the sweet little queer Việt kiều squad. I'm grateful for Hannah, they're so affirming to my leftist Canadian side. I really like Thư. I'm hoping to get to know Hoai Mi (I don't know her accents!) better. And it feels nice to have a space where I can be open and honest, including about SW and relationship anarchy.

I'm also hanging out with Uyen (?) and Anton. They also affirm my politics but they're pretty serious! It gets intense. And Anton talks a lot. But it's nice to have folks to hang out with.

The dating is going well, all things considering! I mean, I've been seeing Lợi. Which has been an interesting exploration. Many firsts, and that's rich coming from me: first non-white, first person close to my age range, first less experienced (sexually), first slow build. But he's really sweet. And there's something simple and unpretentious about him that I really appreciate. And I'm trying to observe myself do things like play games and not be honest/communicate. And that' been a whole experiment.

Then I've been chatting with Fiona, and might meet up with K (?) this week.

The Vietnamese lessons are good! The school Lợi suggested to me is working out real well. I'm motivated by the 3x/week for 1 hour, it keeps me accountable and I can always go to a coffee shop and study in my free time. Sài gòn does not lack for coffee shops, that's for sure.

And family is a huge knot that I'm slowly unravelling. And I'm one of the many threads in the knot, just trying to find my place in it all. With time.

Giving myself this space to reflect. On my queerness, my body, my gender, on dating, on my sense of presence (or lack thereof), on my family, on what it means Việt kiều. All of and all of it together, intersecting and interwoven into what it is to be the person that I am, in this time.

So grateful for the person that I am in this time. That I can discern a little better.

I spent the day by myself. I slept in, after coming home from Arcan at 4am. Then I studied at Okkio (coffee shop), then bought so bao lì xì, exchanged money, tried to find playing cards, and tried to eat cơm hến (they didn't have it, but they did have a delicious bún óc). Then I walked around Bính Thanh for a bubble tea place to do some work but couldn't find anything so I took the long way to D's, just people watching and soaking in the vibes. I felt sooooo comfortable on motorbike today. It's been damn sweet, I feel like a rad, bad, bitch.

This has gotten long, but it will continue to be. After all, this is all for me.

#queer #vietkieu #vietnam2023diaries #saigonapartmentlife #hcmc

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rayofsunas · 3 years

Text

"you'll be fine." they said.

A/n: surprise update hehe. ahhh, it feels great to be back writing requests again, let me just say that :) i know it's been three months since i've written out any requests, but now that i have more free time i'm going to be writing a lot more hehe. i also know there are some really old requests, and my goal is to write those out first, BUT i couldn't stop thinking about this request so i started here first lol (ty anon for this cute request!). anyways, stay safe and happy everyone!! enjoy <3

Summary: you go on a short, but much-needed vacation, leaving your chaotic child/children in the care of your lovely, clueless, lover.

Parings: Albedo/Fem! Reader, Diluc/Fem! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff (much needed after my recent works), tiny bit of angst, crack, swearing

Word count: 5k

Albedo

"He's much calmer than Klee, trust me, you will be fine love."

Thank goodness you were... partially correct with your reassuring words.

As soon as you left around noontime, Albedo was able to lull your son to sleep with a story about a certain Dragon, leaving the young boy sleeping for quite some time. In the three hours that the little toddler was off in snooze land, Albedo had gotten much done. Letters to fellow alchemists had been neatly written and sent off with the help of Sucrose, and he'd even been able to catch up on some of his old notes, to which he occasionally added to when he had the time. Though these days, parenting came first, which he didn't mind of course. But he did miss the months-long journeys across Teyvat that always left him returning home with more of an understanding of this peculiar world. Instead, he'd traded in his maps, beakers, and occasionally sword in for storybooks, hourly diaper changes, and a crazy amount of tummy time. But one thing for sure was Albedo wouldn't give up being a father for the world. He adored his little family so much.

The rest of the day went smoothly, which without a doubt helped Albedo sleep much more soundly that night. Though, the very next morning, everything went downhill.

Without a doubt, the young alchemist was more than used to early mornings and he rarely ever slept in, which he surprisingly preferred despite working incredibly long hours. But the sound of loud booming sounds outside of the house was enough to make Albedo want to go back to sleep and forget that he had such a terrible routine when it came to sleeping.

In all of her loud glory, behind the door was his younger sister, Klee. Eyes wide, awake and alert, despite how early it was. She was dressed for the day and appeared ready for a fun adventure. Unfortunately, like most days as of recently, Albedo couldn't accompany her. Not this time.

"Klee, good morning." Mumbled a tired Albedo.

"Hello, Albedo!" The child cheered happily, eyes glistening. He couldn't help but smile warmly at the little girl, but nonetheless, her chaotic energy did tire him easily, especially so early in the morning.

"Why're you alone?" The older blonde wondered, peeking around to see if anyone accompanied the easily troublemaking girl. He wasn't very shocked to see she was alone.

"Master Jean left me with Captain Kaeya, she has grown quite busy these days," The pyro wielder started. "And Captain Kaeya left me outside of the Favonious Headquarters, he was pretty busy as well... So I came here!" She cheered happily, despite one of the few people willing to join in on her trouble-making antics having to do adult things for once.

Another terribly loud boom sounded through the doorway again as Klee carelessly dropped her bombs on the ground below her shoes, laughs, and cheers of excitement soon following.

"Please, keep your bombs to a minimum... Or else-" No sooner than Klee had dropped her bombs, unsurprisingly, his son had begun to sob.

Albedo sighed, ushering Klee safely inside before disappearing around the corner to quiet his son down. This was his first mistake. Allowing Klee into the neatness of his home. His second mistake was forgetting how much she adored his son. She loved showing him her bombs, despite how young he was or how many times Albedo reminded her that they were incredibly dangerous; Klee always thought his little gurgles were that of approval. Albedo wanted to argue the opposite, he was just a small, clueless, toddler.

As soon as the Mondstadt native had managed to quiet his son down, Klee had instantly been the one to awaken him again, for the second time this morning.

"Albedo, do you think we could go on an adventure, us three!?" Klee asked excitedly, peering into the crib to stare down the adorable toddler who stared up at her equally as curious.

"Why?" She wondered with sad eyes.

"Not much time has gone by since the last time you asked." Not even a month had gone by since she last asked to go on an adventure with Albedo and the small toddler present, hell, it hadn't been long at all since Albedo had to calm her down after refusing.

"That is true, but Lady Y/n isn't here, so we would have more time to explore!"

"I'm afraid not this time, Klee," Albedo said. "I cannot accompany you on your journey, but I can walk you back to the Knights Headquarters."

Despite starting off rocky this morning, and seeing as how one could easily become optimistic after realizing Klee had become more than content with conversing with her little friend, Albedo knew not to get his hopes up too high.

He was right to do so because no sooner did the three leave for the City of Freedom did Klee run off in the opposite direction. For twenty minutes, Albedo chased a giggling Klee around in the fields outside of the city, meanwhile, the toddler in his arms cried with every hop and bounce.

Thankfully, Klee couldn't run forever, which resulted in her stopping eventually. But Archons, did she run for a long time. Albedo nearly tackled his sister as soon as she stopped, hoping to keep her in one place so she couldn't run off again.

Somehow, even with Klee's habit of getting lost, the three made it to the inner city in one piece.

Thank Barbatos...

As promised, Albedo accompanied his sibling to the Knight's Headquarters, leaving Klee to run off to greet Kaeya who had been smugly striding out of the Knight's Headquarters when the Geo and Pryo wielders ascended the stairs. Thankfully, the man offered to once again look after Klee, which definitely seemed better right now considering Albedo had other things, one being a toddler, to take care of.

Though nothing came without a price with the Cavalry Captain, meaning he expected something in return for the great service, as he'd put it, he'd be doing. Albedo decided, despite not particularly being fond of drinking, he'd accompany him to one of the taverns some night in the future and bill his drink.

Now that Klee was thankfully out of his hair so he could properly attend to his son, Albedo realized that the wild girls' presence only seemed to spur on the wildness in his son.

He seemed smitten with Klee's aura, especially her friendly nature and bombs... Albedo should've known something so dangerous would leave his son so curious, he was an impressionable baby after all, and nonetheless, his father's son; Albedo found that he was often drawn to dangerous things, naturally of course, given alchemy was a mysterious and more often than not, dangerous job.

To say the least, nap time was nonexistent, as was the toddler's usual drive to sit still. Albedo had never seen his son walk, crawl, nor run so fast in all of his two years of life, and it was hard to keep up surprisingly.

Dinner went expectedly well, but by the time bedtime rolled around, the toddler was cranky and shockingly so, went down with a fight. The lack of his usual nap seemed to spur on the crankiness, and Albedo couldn't understand why he wouldn't go down easily, especially since he'd missed the daily routine and appeared to be grumpy due to being tired.

It took the Geo wielder two whole hours for him to finally put his son to sleep. Lullabies only seemed to frustrate the boy, and lines from his favorite picture book didn't grab his attention like usual, not even a warm bottle soothed him to sleep.

Thankfully, the fireflies in the little mason jar did. It would act as a new obsession for the toddler, probably for a while. But as the young boy admired the dancing lightning bugs flutter around in the jar, Albedo realized he would have to catch many, many more when his son couldn't sleep, because it was the only thing that seemed to work.

By the end of the second day alone, Albedo himself was coming quite... cranky. He wanted nothing more than to run into your warm embrace and let you take over again, after all, you seemed to know how to better take care of your son than he did.

And Albedo hated accepting defeat, it was something he rarely did. He never ever gave up... But, it seemed like it would ultimately come to that when you returned home and he begged you to never leave again.

Diluc

"Don't be so scared to say no to them, yeah? You'll do great!"

The wine tycoon wanted to argue that it was easier said than done. Because it was absolutely true.

Despite seeming cold and distant on the outside, it was an impossible matter when it came to him refusing his children. Though, like you kindly reassured, saying no was okay, putting your foot down was okay. But not now, not when you were hours away and he had to deal with two uncontrollably crying toddlers.

"No, you shall not wander off the property grounds." They were only toddlers, yes, so the question was how far could they truly get? Diluc learned it was pretty far, despite being so little. His oldest had already begun running away as soon as she could hold herself upright, and he didn't want to think about his younger impressionable son learning to do the same...

"Your brother can't, so it will not be happening. My decision is final." One could argue it was unfair that his eldest child wouldn't be allowed to go outside and enjoy playing under the sun, just because her younger brother was too young to do the same, unlike her, a year older. The wealthy man had solid reasoning for not allowing it; he wanted his children to have equal chances at certain opportunities, so of course, if his son couldn't go outside and join in on the fun, his daughter would ultimately miss out as well. Surely, they could all have fun inside together, under the careful watch of his attentive gaze. He wanted to see them both happy.

"Absolutely not. Captain Kaeya will not be taking you two anywhere." If you were here, without a doubt, Diluc would've been persuaded into allowing his son and daughter to accompany their uncle on an adventure around Mondstadt. But you weren't here, and wouldn't be for a few more hours. So, Diluc refused the idea entirely. Knowing the ever so troublesome Kaeya, he'd get them all in loads of trouble, leaving Diluc to pick up the mess with his influence or money. The redhead would rather not fork over crazy amounts of money or assert his influence over the common folk all because Kaeya had frozen a farmer's crops, because to him, it was childishly hilarious. His two, precious, children would not be influenced by the likes of him, no matter how loud or long they whined to go with him.

But now he was afraid maybe, just maybe, he'd said no a little too often and comfortably during your absence... He was only following your suggestion though.

"Why isn't this working..." The Pyro wielder muttered awkwardly whilst handing the two toddlers each tiny stuffed animal, watching as his daughter threw it out of her reach and his son began fussing for his mother once again.

"Sir, you should take them for a walk!" Suggested one of his children's maids. She'd bowed her head respectively as she greeted her superior and his younglings before admiring the fussing children.

At this point, after hours of wailing and discontent, Diluc would do anything to quiet them. "Do you really think it would work?" He wondered.

"Yes! I often see Lady Y/n going out for evening strolls with the two children, she usually returns with them both soundly asleep."

"My wife... she's special. Of course, she could get them to fall asleep."

The family's maid nodded her head gently, deep in thought. She didn't want her words to offend him, so of course, she'd choose them wisely. "I suppose, a mother's touch is unique. But yours can be too," She reassured. "You're their father after all!"

"Yes..." Diluc mumbled, stepping forward to gently grab each child and hold them tightly to his broad chest. "I will take you up on your suggestion."

The maid gushed, happy that the young master seemed to be more than happy to follow her suggestion. "Wonderful sir! I will have a nice warm dinner prepared, and hopefully, for your sake, Lady Y/n will be back by the time you're done."

With that, the maid bowed her head again and offered a small smile to the toddlers, before scurrying off to prepare a nice meal.

"Come you two, we shall go for a nice walk."

To say the least, the walk was less than satisfactory. The youngest Ragnvindr was still wailing by the time Diluc had lapped the Winery once, and he had no intentions of stopping anytime soon; Diluc knew he probably missed your doting presence. Thankfully his daughter had stopped to admire the butterflies around their home, but no later did they flutter off, she began crying again too.

Archons, when it came to his children, he felt so useless. All he could offer them was a title and name to be considered worthy enough of gifts from the Gods. He couldn't quell their cries, nor entertain them long enough for them to remain happy... All he wanted was to see them happy and catch a moment's sound of silence. He would be getting neither until you returned home to fix this.

By the time his daughter began crying, Diluc had enough of the short-lived walk and immediately stumbled back inside. Thankfully, dinner smelled just about done, and he'd noticed a pair of shoes by the door that he immediately recognized as yours.

Now e could finally breathe, all he had to do was find you, and kindly beg for your assistance... For comforting his children was not his strong suit. He was sure wherever you were, you would come bounding towards him at the sounds of hiccups and cries, you always had.

Within minutes of his assumption, you were seen at the top of the winding stairs, eyes filled with worry at the unexplained crying. You were down and standing at the bottom of the stairs in front of him within seconds, eyes drifting between the redhead and small children.

"You're back," Diluc breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

"I was unpacking," you explained, offering him a worrying smile, offering with a nudge of your head to hold one of the toddlers, he immediately handed you your son. "You look... annoyed." You explained, bouncing and cooing at your son, who somehow, someway, immediately quieted down.

Diluc felt jealousy at that fact, but nonetheless, he was thankful and could not complain. The cries had come to a stop.

"I've been dealing with crying children all day. I'm frustrated." Diluc admitted, for once, allowing his true feelings slip through the exhausted cracks.

With a frown, you dipped your head forward to plan a small kiss on his now reddening cheeks. "I see, I'm sorry to hear that," You whispered gently, arm reaching out to smooth down your daughter's wild mane. "But look! They're both happy now." You smiled happily, glad to be back with your family.

"Yes, I see."

"He's a bit fussy, naturally, but she's more prone to start crying if she sees him upset." You explained. "I think she was worried that something was wrong; he's probably just entering his terrible two's though." With that, you turned swiftly and made your way to the dining room, Diluc dejectedly followed.

"So what did you three do today?" You called back to him.

"Well, they were unhappy the entire day," Diluc explained, ignoring your worried eyes as soon as you got the chance to turn and look at him.

"Oh, my poor loves," You frowned. "And you didn't catch a break did you?" No response, but you already knew your answer... His silence was very telling.

"You know, you could've handed them off to one of their maids, I'm sure they wouldn't mind assisting you."

"I suppose... But I wanted to do it, I'm already absent as it is."

Another deep frown settled upon your beautiful features. He mirrored your features. Diluc hadn't meant to become so... gloomy. Especially since you've just returned from what he hoped was a nice trip to the sea with Lisa

"Don't think like that, love. They appreciate you. It was just one terrible day; how many good days have you had with them?" No response again. You knew your answer. "Exactly! You're an amazing father, don't doubt your abilities."

He hummed, appreciating your compliments and words of reassurance. Thanks to your kindness, he was able to shove his worries to the back of his for now and admire you awestricken. But as he was helping his daughter into her high chair, and you were doing the same with your son, he couldn't help but lowly snort to himself. You heard it, despite how quiet he was trying to be.

"What's so amusing?"

He smiled, "I'm afraid I've said no a bit too much today. I believe it's overkill at this point. Apologies..."

You laughed along with him. "At least you're self-aware."

Scaramouche

"She's chaos because of you, I figured you would know best how to look after her."

He should've known. It wasn't even uncommon at this point, for you to just casually leave in the wee hours of the morning and escape for a bit. It was so like you. Especially on days where he had important matters to attend to, and you knew.

It wasn't always that you got to visit Snezhnaya, so when you ventured with your lover into the chilly tundra, you always made sure to explore if you had the free time. When you traveled without Scaramouche in Fatui territory, you usually left Mei in your second home with him, seeing as though the toddler was too tiny to travel in the cold. This time was no exception, as your only parting gift had been a cheeky letter messily scribbled and even messier heart added to truly piss him off.

Though just because caring for his daughter usually was uncharted territory, nonetheless, as a man he would step up to the plate and care for her. So, without a worry in the world, the short man strode into the Cryo Archons palace, eyes stone cold as he walked with his head held high.

Though, despite his haughtiness, and authority, the lower ranking Fatui dared stare at him and his precious daughter.

Why did they all need to stare, questioning his authority just because he was holding a small child, his own flesh and blood. They had no right to watch him with demeaning looks in their eyes. How dare they diminish him.

"Nosy inferior beings, it would be best if you minded your business before I put you in your places." He called to the three Fatui soldiers standing under the shadow of a pillar, Scaramouche's keen eyes still spotted them. How could he not? They were cackling loudly, anyone would hear them.

"Sir!" The three saluted before the two men strode off with their own heads held high as if they were trying to assert the dominance he'd just shattered, and the woman scurried off before she could further be embarrassed.

Scaramouche smirked to himself, enjoying how all of the remaining soldiers in the great hallway seemed to straighten up and bow to him as if he were a God. Now, this was a sight he did miss while away in Inazuma, and he'd much enjoyed it this way.

"That's not very fatherly of you, old man!" Cheered Childe a little too gleefully as he came striding out from one of the doors embedded in the wall off to the left.

Stopping in his tracks, Scaramouche turned and stood with pointed eyes. The purple hues only seemed to darken and sharpen at the sight of the eleventh Harbinger, to who everyone seemed to bow their heads lower. The elder Harbinger scowled.

Bastard always stole his thunder.

"I don't think Y/n would appreciate that, either." The redhead noted, Scaramouche rolled his eyes blatantly. "Her precious daughter in the presence of violence?" The young man clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "She'd skin you alive." Ignoring what sounded like a threat, he held Mei closer to his chest.

"Our daughter." Scaramouche reminded, noticing that now Childe was scowling as well. The younger man always had... affections for you. He was a true kiss ass in your presence, and now it seemed even well away from you too. Shattering his hope, if he still had any after all this time, was entertaining. Scaramouche's smirk reappeared.

"Yes, I almost forgot! You're so absent, it's easy to forget your relation to her."

The man scoffed, "You speak as if you ever had any relation to her. She's not your child, and Y/n is way out of your league, she's far too divine for the likes of you."

Childe hummed, thinking of some sort of comeback, nonetheless, despite Scaramouche's quick and almost too easily thought of sassy remarks, the ginger bounced back. "Then, how she managed to snag you is quite peculiar."

"I'd argue, out of the eleven of us, I'm the closest to divinity and you know it. The Gods favor me after all, it makes perfect sense."

Now, this was a sight Scaramouche also missed. Childe, for once in a long time, appeared embarrassed by the dejected way his superior responded, and even had the bold audacity to saunter off proudly.

Ahh, the two despised one another greatly.

"Can you tell her to be quiet?" Snapped La Signora who seemed more annoyed with Mei's presence than anyone else in the room. Despite popular assumptions, just because she was a woman, did not mean she had to adore children like the rest of the ladies with or without kids. In fact, she found them incredibly annoying, even if Scaramouche's daughter was quite adorable, though awfully chatty despite being so young and not able to form proper sentences. "She has not stopped babbling since she arrived." The eighth Harbinger noted, earning a glare from her fellow sixth Harbinger.

"It doesn't work like that, you imbecile," Scaramouche snapped equally as ferocious as her. "She doesn't know what she's doing nor saying half the time, kind of like you all," he said with a smirk, ruffling Mei's short, dark curls.

"Ah, being a father does not suit you, you've turned soft." Sandrone lazily noted from his seat on the opposite side of the table.

"Ah," The short male mocked with a devilish grin. "You're as boorish as ever, Sandrone. Quit blabbering, I'm afraid you'd lull me to sleep with your nonsense."

Sandrone laughed, "You do not know when or how to shut up, Little Skirmisher-"

"Enough." Came the gentle, but the ice-cold voice of the most divine in the room, her royal highness, the Tsaritsa. She was enough to silence, even the likes of Scaramouche, but not Mei.

"Papa-"

La signora sighed, sounding bored, though her eyes were sharp and held malice as she stared down the innocent toddler. "Quiet your offspring, Balladeer."

The man adorning red eyeliner was just about to speak when he was silenced by the Tsaritsa's hand-raising. "No," She spoke softly, offering a rare, and barely visible smile. "It's alright... She's done nothing wrong." Of course, without a doubt any child of his would-be favored by none other than the Gods and heavenly divine, it was inevitable.

Scaramouche smirked at La Signora and Sandrone who both seemed to have an issue with Mei's curiosity and Scaramouche's parenting.

"The Tsaritsa seems smitten with her." Exclaimed Childe with a smile.

"She is a woman, all of them oddly adore children. Besides La Signora." The fifth harbinger, Pulcinella, boomed.

"Not all women adore children," La Signora reminded.

"Only the bitter ones." Pedrelino, ranked number one Harbinger, joked.

Everyone in the room, besides La Signora and her highness, seemed to find the joke somewhat funny; the remaining Harbingers burst out in laughs, snorts, and held mischievous smirks on their faces.

"Deplorable..." Muttered Signora, immediately turning towards the Archon, expecting her to begin with today's briefing she called all eleven Harbingers in for.

"Yes. We shall begin."

As the meeting finally commenced, Mei found herself content while playing with the tassels of her father's intricate hat, and for an hour while the meeting drew on awfully long, she stayed silent, except for the occasional babble towards Dottore, directly beside the father-daughter duo, who kept using his mask as a hide and seek game with her; she adored the doctor.

The journey home after the three hour's long meeting didn't take any longer than said meeting. Thankfully, it was only a few minutes walk in the light falling snow, and barely visible roads, and finally the father-daughter duo were back in the warmness of their second home.

Despite how much Scaramouche enjoyed pissing off his fellow Harbingers and allowed the attention from the inferior Fatui, he despised the cold. Inazuma was warm all year round, except in the mountains, but even then, it couldn't be compared to this. This was awful.

As soon as Scaramouche and Mei arrived at the warmth of their second home, that's when all Mei's praises deserved to get flushed down the drain. No sooner than she made it behind the safety of the large double doors, she began disobeying her father, who heavily praised her the entire way home for her ability to get on the good side of the Tsaritsa and embarrass his fellow soldiers, as well as play well during the meeting. Archons, she already reminded him of himself; two-faced and knowing when and how to put on a good show in public. Believe me, he didn't mind it all, but when she disobeyed him? Well, that was a problem.

"Brat! Stop touching things, your mother will blame me, and next time, she'll be running off with you!" Yelled Scaramouche as he tried pulling his daughter away from a very expensive-looking jeweled necklace that belonged to you. Scaramouche wasn't sure where it came from, but due to the purple gems, he assumed he'd gifted it to you at some point... Honestly, he couldn't care to remember.

"You've already drooled all over one of your mother's dresses, and it was rather expensive to sew, so honestly-"

Seeing as though it was mainly your things be either permanently destroyed or momentarily, it was safe to assume Mei missed you dearly. Though, she had a weird way of showing that she did.

"Oh my..." One of the few trusted maids that traveled with the young family stated as she stumbled into the living room, to see her superior tugging on Mei, the young toddler was gripping the jewels tightly.

"My Lord, do you... require assistance?"

"Does it look like I need assistance?" Scaramouche snapped. She nervously fidgeted with her sleeves. Of course, all the help knew better not to embarrass him, better yet, offend him. She wouldn't tell him what he didn't want to hear, even if it was the truth. Without leaving her much time to respond if she dared, Scaramouche quickly waved her off. "You may leave now."

By the time you arrived back home after a long day in the Snezhnayan city, you were exhausted and more than ready to curl up on the couch with your little family and fall fast asleep. To say the least, you were glad to be home. It was freezing, and the warmth coming from the fireplace definitely comforted you.

But the living room... was an absolute mess, ruining all plans of curling up on the couch. Your husband and daughter? Nowhere to be seen, which if it weren't for the calm-looking maids cleaning away at the mess everywhere, you would've assumed had been missing or the victims of a home invasion. There were broken glass shards, and even a singular circular jewel laying carelessly on the floor, and wait... what that your dress on the floor all cut up?

"Ladies, what happened here?"

"Afternoon Ma'am!" All the ladies bowed their heads out of respect, before the head maid, Sylvia, approached you. She curtseyed which you always reminded her wasn't necessary, but nonetheless, you allowed her to continue because you were more curious as to how the mess around you occurred.

"My Lord and Lady Mei were simply making crafts, and the young Lady mistook your dress and jewels for paper and decorations..." Sylvia lied, immediately knowing that if she admitted the young child had actually been carelessly making a mess, that she could be fired for allowing this to happen.

"Where are they now?" You wondered, eyes dancing around the room seeing neither in your line of vision.

"I believe they are upstairs resting, it's been a long day for My Lord."

You snorted, before nodding your head and heading towards the winding stairs. "Yes, thank you."

Like Sylvia had said, you found your lover and daughter upstairs in one of the spare rooms.

"Excuse me," You announced stepping into said room, spotting Scaramouche and his hat laying carelessly upside down on the bed. As you moved closer you noticed a small foot peeking out of the hat. "Why is our daughter sleeping in your hat?"

Scaramouche shrugged carelessly. "Not sure, she found herself there. I've decided to just roll with it since she's finally quiet and has stopped running around."

"Well," You said gently taking a seat on the bed beside the two, peering into the hollow part of the hat to see your little girl snoring, curly hair pushed off of her forehead and curling behind her ears. "She's quite adorable like this."

Your husband hummed tiredly. "Also that reminds me," You turned to face him. "She broke a few heirlooms, and your dress and necklace are ruined. I hope they weren't of importance."

6.14.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin #albedo #albedo x reader #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader

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luciferloveschloe · 3 years

Text

goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

#lucifer #lucifer netflix #chloe x lucifer #deckerstar #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season six #meta #s6 #i will also leave so many comments on gifsets

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nishigo · 3 years

Text

an anomaly. // bennett x reader.

a page from the book of memories.

[ p a g e 3 2 9 ｡ ]

authors note: hello! this is my first ever attempt at something for genshin impact. this is longer than i expected, and there may be errors here and there, so i am sorry about that in advance. i do hope you will enjoy it though. i got bennett yesterday after rolling and although many say he’s annoying...he’s very much like me in real life. coincidence? i think not. Σ('◉⌓◉’) i also rolled a girl named keqing. she seems nice, and is a five star, but i don’t know if she’s rare. i truly don’t know how this system works, apologies. T^T anyways, traveler, happy reading. (*'▽'*)

word count : 2191

tw : none that i can think of. very much fluff. and perhaps a touch of a flirty!reader. :)

request status at time of posting : open.

in which he had finally someone who could balance out his unluckiness.

would you like to read?

＞　行｡ ( y e s )

＞　不行。( n o )

———

Bennett was, to put it simply, confused.

He had just finished a mission with you, being your support the whole entire way through. There had been an offering that had been posted on the tavern’s walls in dark, smudged text that caught his eye at an earlier time. It read that whoever could get rid of the new pop-up hilichurl camp that blocked the path to Liyue would receive a grand sum of Mora. Course, running low on money, Bennett had decided to take up the offer. They would be easy enough to take down, just a simple slash of his sword and a few burns here and there could get the job done in no time. However, there was a problem.

No one would come with him.

Bennett knew that he was very...loud. And he was energetic. And annoying. And, though he hated to admit it...he was unlucky.

Everything seemed stacked up against him. Everyone he turned to in the tavern took a simple glance at him and rejected the offer with no further questions asked. He would try to convince them, but they would simply get more annoyed at his stubbornness and shoo him away with a flick of a hand or some splash of beer to the face. It’s not like he could take the older adventurers out either, they could barely walk on their own two feet. They were so old that they certainly would have shriveled up in the sun if he brought them along. So there that option went, leaving him with practically nothing else to turn to.

But then, if he had no one to go with him, what would happen? Would he continue to be stuck in that tavern? No, he wouldn’t allow himself to waste away like that. He was meant to be out there, in a world that could supply him with the thrill and rush that his heart yearned for. The boy desired to be just as great of an adventurer as the ones who came before him, or perhaps, dare he dream, even greater than them. Bennett desired to be a legend. But being a legend could not be done alone, even if that was what Bennett determined he would forever be, deep in the back of his brain.

Which is why you were such an anomaly.

You were the last person he spoke to that night. He was a complete mess. His shirt was damp with beer and some white wine, his white locks were a birds nest with the goggles sliding off slowly, and his eyes looked devoid of life as he took a deep inhale and they brightened up again. This was his last chance. You were the one who was either going to make or break this plan.

“Hello stranger! I am the great Bennett, and I was wondering if you would be able to help assist me with a mission that was posted on the tavern walls. It’s about the hilichurl camp by Liyue! Although I am rather strong, I need some help so it’s done more efficiently and faster. I’m even willing to split the Mora with you that we make out of it! What do you say?” Bennett recited his lines again, as if he was in an interview of sorts. His leafy green eyes watched as you scrunched up your eyebrows, as if thinking and examining him. Your face was blank other than that, lips in a straight line and hand cupping your cheek. Bennett found it to be quite terrifying. It was such an intimidating look, in fact, that he was about to ask you to forget about it before you spoke first.

“Sure.” You stated simply, a smile forming on your face as you crossed your arms.

“Ahhh, understood, I’ll get goi- WAIT!” The pyro boy turned to look right at you as he gasped. His face was one of shock morphed with a cute, ecstatic look. One could compare it to a puppy of sorts. You were not meant to say yes. You were meant to be like everyone else and reject him. He was dumbfounded as he grabbed a hold of your shoulders and tilted his head.

“You’re not joking?!”

“Course not! Why would I do such a thing?” You rebuked before he giddily jumped up and down while pulling you up to a sweet hug. It was a gentle and firm one, though, he pulled away quickly after realizing he still wreaked of alcohol. You told him you didn’t mind it though, making him rub the back of his head sheepishly and laugh. You two would converse for the night, agreeing to meet up at the gate the next morning so he could lead the way to the camp and also split the mora gained evenly. After the small chat, you would leave the tavern to stay at the local inn for the night and get some rest. Bennett’s eyes were trained on you as the door then closed, realization hitting him like a truck: he found someone. He found a real person to take on a mission. Better yet, they were as gorgeous as they were strong. This was better than any dream he could have made up. Bennett decided he had to turn in for the night soon after you left, taking a spot in his cozy bed under the sheets. His eyes closed as the curtains rustled at the soft wind that blew through the window. The pyro’s last thought before going to bed was that he truly hoped that you would fulfill your end of the deal and show up.

And you kept your promise. You were there as the morning sun rose to reflect your beautiful skin, hair flowing gently in the light breeze as he ran up to you and froze. You looked powerful now that you were out of the tavern and he could see you properly. You had on your adventure gear, dressed appropriately for a mission that required taking out many enemies. What caught his attention, though, was your white cape with golden accents that flowed from behind. Flicking your hood down and off your head, your face was now fully visible as you watched him stare. He was adorable, like a little baby who was just discovering the world for the first time.

“You’re really gonna do this with me?” Bennett asked in wonder. His face was blank as a smirk landed itself on your features. You positioned yourself to stand upright, away from the wall you were leaning on as you held your weapon of choice in your dominant hand. As for the other, you outstretched it towards him with a grin.

“Lead the way.”

Bennett didn’t even have to think twice about it as he eagerly took your hand into his own gloved one and began to lead you out of the city and into the wilderness. He seemed to be very hyper from what you could tell, as he couldn’t seem to stop commenting on how he was destined for greatness, or how thankful he was that you were going to come along with him. He also bombarded you with questions about yourself as well, like if this was your first time in Mondstadt or what kind of element you had control over. He was easily excited, but especially when you told him that you were a traveler that had been moving around place to place to see the sights of the world. It was why you were so strong, you had defeated a wide range of enemies, great and small, on your journeys. Bennett was fascinated by that, drawing him to be more and more curious about you. Alas, the questions and storytelling had to wait. You two had arrived at the camp, and it was time to take some enemies down.

You two ended up making a fantastic duo of sorts. With his sword and experience, he was able to cut down enemies with ease. You did the same, your speed and agility outmatched as you two basically made a massacre out of the camp. His fire would spread through the long grass, and with the natural wind, spread quickly to begin burning it all down. You were quick to come to his aid when he would sometimes get backed against the rocks or a tree, helping him heal with some quick magic you had learned. It wasn’t anything special, but it was enough to keep him up and moving. With such precision and perseverance, your duo was able to defeat the camp with relative ease. However, both you and Bennett were still tired from fighting for so long. You two were out of breath as the fire died out, heaving for air as you gave him a head pat and grinned.

“You did amazing out there. You’re a talented pyro user as well, I’m impressed.” There you went again, making him all confused as he sat there. You just complimented him. A powerful traveler, that has practically defeated every sort of monster there is out there, was impressed by him. Bennett, the unlucky, was impressive? For the first time, he was rendered speechless as he looked at you. It was now night, the moon high in the sky as it illuminated your face. Oh goodness, you looked ethereal. The way the stars were reflected in your eyes, the way the gold of your cape sparkled and flowed behind you, the way you smiled at him, like he was the most handsome boy you had ever seen. The only thing that stopped the comfortable silence between you two was the fact that he shivered when a breeze brushed against his pale, scar littered skin. You snapped out of it and looked him up and down, noticing how a lot of his skin was exposed to the chilly night.

“Here, take this.” You told him as you unbuttoned your cape, taking it off your shoulders. With one swoop, you draped it over his own figure, being as gentle as possible as you buttoned it up again. Bennett was reduced to continuing to stay silent as you clothed him. You placed the hood up on top of his head, a hand on your hip as you grinned at him. It was a bit big on him but nonetheless, it was rather cute. You used your other hand to take his chin gently, making him look you in the eyes. He was rather happy that the hood cast a bit of a shadow, because his cheeks were flushed a hot pink as he was forced to look at you.

“Huh. Looks better on you than it does me.” You commented before he seemed to regain his ability to speak.

“You need this more than me! I-i’m literally a pyro user, I c-can heat myself-” You hushed him, letting go of his chin as you put a finger to his peach pink lips.

“Doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t waste your energy to heat up, especially since we have to walk back to town. I’ll be fine, I’ve been through worse weather situations.” He glanced down at your finger, and then back to you as you dropped your hand and began walking down the path again, back towards the city. Why did you have to be so, so...enchanting? And you were so smooth as well! He had never been so flustered when talking to someone, heck, he was the one who was meant to be doing most of the talking! Though, he supposed that him being talkative didn’t equate to being able to flirt. But something about the thought of you leaving made him pout. It was as if the butterflies were leaving his stomach, but they left him emptier than before.

Bennett refused to be lonely anymore. Not when he had you.

“Hey, darling!~ Would you stop standing there and staring off into space? I know I look wonderful tonight, but we gotta get a move on! We won’t be able to get to town and rest our weary bones if you keep this up!~” You called out to him, making him shake his head and refocus. Right, a bed. Sleep did sound rather good right now, along with a shower and something to quench his thirst. He ran and caught up to you, walking by your side as he grinned. He began to already ask about other missions that the two of you could do together, like gathering supplies for the alchemist or helping around the town for some spare Mora here and there. Bennett then stopped for a moment again, looking at you.

“Would you like to work together again?” There was a moment of silence before you nodded.

“I think I would. We make a great team.” Bennett then continued walking with you, as if time didn’t just stop for a second as he went back to his usual, bubbly nature. The more he thought about it, the happier it made him. More adventures to be made. More memories to be created. All with you at his side the entire time.

And you would make all the difference.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin oneshot #genshin bennett #bennett #bennett x reader #bennett x reader genshin impact #genshin impact bennett #genshin x reader #aaaAAAAA ITS OUT-#flirty reader? i think yes.#i hope you all like this #maybe kaeya next?#anyways i hope bennett isn’t too ooc #sorry if he is ;3;#hao’s library #the book of memories

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years

Text

jib 7 breakdown and analysis

a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7.

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video.

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot.

another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me.

now let’s get into the specifics.

although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos.

between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).

considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).

from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about.

ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night.

also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.

misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.

i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well.

this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport’, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!!

look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes.

i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc).

misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.

i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that.

i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone.

sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking.

let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.

misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).

misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point).

WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync.

when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker.

i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it.

i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.

when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story.

i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!

‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.

then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).

something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]

oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.)

this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should).

there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much.

i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.

the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.

i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ‘will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.

if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.

the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves.

aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha).

i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions.

i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.

when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).

listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.)

i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.

you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013.

and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)

okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands.

misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]

misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.

fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’

this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit.

the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation.

there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so.

how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.

jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.

‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it.

can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it.

and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.

(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)

okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help.

honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync.

jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)

i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still.

i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…

that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.

and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!

#cockles #jib 7 #this is very very long but in my defense this panel is an hour long #comments and thoughts are always appreciated!!

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