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pinkspiraling · 2 years

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i need help making some decisions.

tldr: should i move back to a place that's probably toxic for me so i can be with a guy who im not sure it's going to work out with?

i started living with my grandfather recently bc i tried to kill myself a couple of months ago. im more than friends with this guy and we've been talking for six months, though ive known him longer than that. we live far apart now. my grandfather says he's toxic and i should drop him. i know this guy has his issues, but i don't think he's bad like my family says. he's the first guy who's ever been this good to me. i just don't know if im ignoring all the bad shit about us thinking that it'll just work itself out. ik guys lie obviously, but he seems really genuine about caring about me and wanting a relationship with me. i have to decide whether im staying with my grandfather or going back to live with my mom. my mom is kinda fucked up and things werent great over there, but my mom is getting cleaned up and is doing better than she ever has but i think she's still going to do the same shit. things are good with my grandfather, i have a great relationship with him.

i really don't want to lose this guy. he said he only wants a relationship with me in person. he doesn't know im considering moving back. my life has been completely uprooted the past year and the only part of it i still have is him, it feels like. idk if it'd be crazy to do all this, just for him. it sounds childish when i say this ig, especially since ik everyone sees this as a stupid teen fling, but he and i have a connection. isn't that worth it? or am i better off trying to start a new life?

he's had the same kind of life i had and we've bonded over that a lot ig. we have a good connection and we talk about everything. the thing that concerns me is that he's bipolar plus other things and won't get treated. things between us go up and down with his emotions.

im pretty sure im pregnant and idk what to do about that. i keep thinking about my own mom right now and how she messed me up. i wanted to think the rest of everything through first, honestly don't even know how to react.

there are other reasons to go back with my mom like school and work, but i could figure those things out here.

oh wow anon, there’s a lot of factors that go into a decision like this. i don’t have the right answer but i do think that you should focus on what’s best for YOU and YOUR future and well being! you can’t know for sure if it’s going to work out with him so don’t make a decision fully based around that. if he’s not getting treated and that worries you i think that is a big factor to consider. are you happy where you are rn? is living with your grandpa better for you than living with your mom? i always believe in going with your gut :) but also taking care of your current and future self. best of luck whatever u do <3

#pinky promise i’ll answer #also sorry it took me so long to answer!

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trashyshrew · 1 year

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big admirer of your work! you asked for drawing suggestions–would love to see your take on lawlight snuggled up together relaxing in bed or something! absolutely starved for soft content of these two

#asks #death note #lawlight #light yagami #l lawliet #i am truly sorry i took so long to respond to this #i try to answer asks within 1-3 business days #but this week really got away from me #anyway thank you so much for this ask #it was fun trying something a little softer #maybe this is an au where they don't want to kill each other?#idk #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also this post has been brought to you by gin & tonic #don't drink and draw

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nouverx · 20 days

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just imagine charlie being the only other character in the hotel to understand Alastor's sayings and gripes about the modern world. She's even older than he is, those two could have so much to talk about. I'm still fairly young but I have plenty of gripes about the modern world, I just know those two old ladies could find something to share lol.

I adore Charlie and Alastor as characters, and I adore your art! All of your art is damn cute to me, it's great! I need more of charlie and alastor interacting and being silly in my life, romantic or platonic doesn't matter to me lmao.

You are just like me for real 😭 when the pilot came out I was so intrigued with Alastor and Charlie they immediately clicked for me and became my favourite pair of the show (tho now that the first season is out all of Alastor's other relationships stole my heart lmao but I still love them a lot) the "big bad villain who initially wanted to manipulate the sunshine character ends up accidently getting attached to them" trope is like one of my favourite tropes ever and they have the potential to become just that so I'm really invested in what their storyline will be I'M SO EXCITED

AND YEAH the fact that the hotel was already so has-been looking before Alastor showed up makes me think Charlie is similar to him, she's more up to date than him regarding new technologies ofc but I just know my girl loves vintage stuff ahah

(Also I want them to have a duo song in the next seasons SO BAD no offense to Heaven 2 Hell I love this song but I need something new it's been 4 years lol)

#ask #answered #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #charlie morningstar #charlastor #<- as like the weird platonic thing they have going on #I could rant about them like a rabbid madman for hours idk if I'll ever make post about them but it's fascinating to me #LIKE they have a positive influence on each other while also being unhealthy because of Alastor's whole manipulation plan??#but they also get along well and trust each other a lot and believing in each other's potential but also there's something sinister going on #IT'S SO GOOD SO INTERESTING AAAAAHHH HELP ME #I'M SORRY FOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TOO ANSWER FORGIVE MEEEE #I originally wanted to draw smth for it but couldnt find the motivation and I felt bad about taking that long-#sorry for being so late with the asks in general ajajaj

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acetier · 7 months

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will you be drawing any more of torin and varre? no rush at all, but i am lowkey obsessed with them now 👀

ask and you shall receive, anon :^)

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soranker · 5 months

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hi….! any chance we can see your art process ? it’s fine if not! i was wondering if u do a sketch before your lines or you just skip directly to lineart? your art is very beautiful!

HI!!! AUGGHHHJHH THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH T__T my art style is kinda simple imo so my process is pretty bare-bones ^^;; there's not rly much too it!! it also kinda changes depending on how uhhhh lazy im feeling in the moment HAHA

probably around half of my drawings are straight to line art bc they're rly just doodles or things i decide to draw without any planning (but also im kinda impatient so i try to skip the sketching step if i can LOL...). but if i DO have a specific pose in mind for a drawing, i'll start with a sort of mannequin sketch or loose pass, then depending on how messy it is, ill either do the lineart pass on the layer on top or duplicate the sketch and then clean it up.

and then my coloring process is not sophisticated at all i just create a new layer and then paint bucket tool away LMAOOOO

here's an example of a drawing where i did sketch first ^_^

#clarification on the second image: usually when i make changes to the sketch i just go straight to lineart rather than doing a second pass #which i what i did for this drawing. i just like to minimize how many sketch passes i do (again bc i am impatient and lazy lol)#but also bc personally i get frustrated when my lineart doesnt turn out like my sketch so the solution my brain came up with is to..#...skip sketching i guess LMAO;;#idk if this was helpful or not AHGHAAH my process is rly nothing fancy and there's not much to show T_T;#ALSO OMFG IM SOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO GKJFHDJG THIS WAS SENT LIKE A MONTH AGO I THINK T_____T #i saw this when i got off the plane coming home from a trip and then i remembered it a few days later #but then in the middle of writing my answer i left to eat dinner and forgot to save so when i came back the page refreshed #and deleted everything i wrote T____T AND THEN IFORGOT ABT IT AGAIN

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lynnbutlertron · 17 days

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hihihi just wanna say i love how you draw noise!!! squishy little guy i'm throwing him against the wall! /pos

OUGHDHDHFJ THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! please do, he deserves it…. i also regularly want to throw him against the wall like a sticky gecko….

#also sorry it took me so long to reply i’m so fuckin bad at answering asks #doodles #ask #i love those sticky geckos actually i should get some and throw them at my walls….#get a yellow and a pink one… noisecouple coded #anyway ty for the ask hehdhehd

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mari-lair · 6 months

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What got you into HanaKou? Any head canons? :3

Their early dynamic! Hanako being flirty and condescending is so good, and Kou acting super suspicious and confused, switching between "EVIL SPIRIT IS TRYING TO DECEIVE ME!!" and "...oh he knows a lot, he is helpful??" is charming.

Honestly, they are just plain fun.

I stayed in this ship for the soul-crushing implications as the manga went by but I do love their goofier dynamic just as much.

And I do have headcanon Anon! Strap in:

Hanako has mixed feelings about Kou growing up. He likes that he is alive and that he gets stronger with time, not experiencing the pain of being a ghost, but there is an unbalancing feeling that comes from watching the 'kid' grow up, slowly shaping into a new person, an adult, through the years while Hanako is forever 13. It is hard for him to adapt to. He hopes to be exorcised before Kou is unrecognizable from the boy he decided to trust, he hopes to see him grow all the way into an old man. He mostly tries not to think about it.

Hanako said "I can't wait for when you exorcise me" when they met, but he didn't care all that much about who exorcised him at the time, he just thought it would be useful to have someone to get the job done near. Now it needs to be Kou, he really wants it to be him. He is full of self-hatred so he will accept if someone else kills him without fighting, but it won't be the same.

Hanako has internal homophobia since he experienced being alive in the 60s, but it is a strange, oddly 'passive' kind. When he gets a crush in the young exorcist arc he does not register it as a crush, chalking it as part of the admiration/respect/trust package, which is a hard bag of feelings to process, considering how apathetic and isolated he has been in his afterlife. He is convinced this pull towards Kou is not that strange for friends and can think things like "If Kou was a girl, or I was a girl, it would be fun to seduce him~" without batting an eye. (I am still not over the genderbend Hanako chapter.)

Touch, and Quality Time are Hanako's main love languages. Kou's are Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation.

Hanako gets plenty of quality time and his touch is never rejected, so is hard to get insecure about Kou not liking him, he mostly gets emo about not deserving his love. Kou does not get many words of affirmation, the Mokke has heard more compliments about Kou from Hanako than Kou has, this can make him insecure and extremely confused about how Hanako sees him, or how trustworthy Hanako is, so he is rarely soft or vulnerable with Hanako.

Kou gets so surprised he either goes speechless or embarrassed when Hanako gives him sincere compliments without hiding behind his "I am such a mischievous and playful ghost! am I being honest or am I being condescending?~" attitude. (It's rare and never last much)

Kou bakes him donuts when Hanako is sad and the ghost bothers him when Kou is sad. Hanako is a bit weird when it comes to comforting others, if what makes the exorcist sad is directly his fault or he feels like it is his fault, the ghost grows very guilty and invested, if it's not his fault in any way, Hanako becomes somewhat detached, still worried but not obsessed over it: He will help, but his worry isn't visible, is easy to believe he doesn't care about the problem at all.

If Kou ever met Amane he will be '???' cause the idea of a alive Hanako does not compute. Amane will find him rude, but kind of funny.

#sorry it took so long to answer Anon #the hanakou ghost posses me at random #also it is 30ºC (at 9pm???) so i am melting sorry for any grammar mistakes #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #hanakou #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #kou minamoto #tbhk hanako

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sleepanonymous · 6 months

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Heya! I just got into Sleep Token and I'm enamored! Do you know of any links to posts or anything that talk about the characters and their personalities onstage? I'm having trouble differentiating between III and IV (I know II is the drummer) and I want to learn more about them!

Also, is it pronounced Two, Three, and Four, or Second, Third, and Fourth?

Hi and welcome! 😊 Glad to see a new fan of the band. For the sake of clarity, I'll answer your second question first. The Sleep Token lore technically dubs them all Vessel 1, Vessel 2, etc. so it's my understanding that fans started calling the other band members Two, Three, and Four, and used Roman numerals for their monikers.

TLDR: This Weblink has almost all of Sleep Token's lore, and This Video also has almost all of Sleep Token's lore. The easiest way to tell III and IV apart from each other is by their instruments and height. III plays bass and is taller than the rest of the band. IV plays guitar and is shorter than the rest of the band (except for II, he is the shortest of the four).

I'll be honest, I also had trouble differentiating between III and IV when I first got into the band. Up until very recently, they wore similar outfits, too, which made pictures difficult to tell them apart. You can always tell via the instrument they're holding (if it's visible). III is the bassist and IV is the guitarist. Another way to tell depends on which side of the stage they are standing on. 85% of the time III is stage right, in front of the choir (Vesselettes) and IV is stage left, in front of II's drum set. My favorite way to tell them apart (before it just became secondhand nature to know which was which) was if the musician had a bun under his mask or not. IV's hair is relatively concealed beneath his mask, but III has longer hair and puts it up into a bun to keep it all in place under his mask during rituals.

The neck of III's bass is kind of in the way of the back of IV's head in the second photo, but here are two examples of the bun shape that III has. This is also a good way to tell them apart if they're standing next to each other, or, in this case, kissing. III is extremely tall and will always be taller than any other band member unless he's crouching or leaning over. If the two aren't standing near each other, you can always use Vessel as a measuring stick.

The photo on the left probably isn't the best reference, but trust me, III is about 5 centimeters taller than Vessel, he's just leaning back. The photo on the right also probably isn't the best since Vessel and IV are both just dark shapes lol, but at least it's obvious that Vessel is taller than IV.

The band as a whole is anonymous so you might not find much in the way of personalities, even of their stage personas. If you're willing to read up on the Sleep lore itself, you can do that here (this is a link to boolintunes.com). Or, if you'd prefer to watch a friendly, lecture-style video, there is this one here on YouTube. Persona-wise the most concise I can give you is this:

Vessel is very emotional. That is evident by the lyrics he writes, but doubly so when he is in front of an audience. He will cry, he will laugh, he will do silly dances, and he will hype up his bandmates. It's evident that he loves what he does, but he is also extremely humble about it. All of the love his fans give him he makes sure to give back 110% (the fact that he manages to do it without speaking is impressive in itself).

II is a beast, like no joke. This man has got to have started playing drums before he could walk, I swear. He, like Vessel, obviously loves what he does, has a blast, and also gives zero fucks while doing it. He will sit at his drum set and kick out beats while drinking Red Bull and Diet Coke through his mask 🤣🤣 During moments in songs where there is little to no percussion he'll often stand up and react to the lyrics Vessel sings. He also comes to the front of the stage at the very end of rituals to hype up the crowd and hand out his used drumsticks and sometimes even a drum head.

III is the most animated of the guys. I will often refer to him as the "main character" of Sleep Token because he is always front and center. This has also earned him the fandom nickname of Bassy Boi. I've seen him do everything from windmill headbang, to run in place, to high kick, to jumping up and down for 30+ seconds straight. He also has a knack for yelling at fans. There is a compilation video on YouTube here for reference. Also! Something I forgot to mention earlier in telling III and IV apart: III almost always has on his iconic checkered socks in the most recent shows.

IV (at least the current IV) is probably the most reserved and collected on stage (fun fact, there were two other IVs in Sleep Token before our current IV, I wrote about that here), In earlier shows he played with the band, around 2021/2022, he used to be fairly shy. Sometimes IV would stand off to the very side of the stage and let Vessel and III have all the attention. Luckily he's seemed to get past his shyness and has become much more of a crowd pleaser. He'll often do things like serenade the crowd (a bit like II does, only a lot closer since there's no drum set in the way), get roped into Vessel's or III's chaotic stage antics, or, you know, tease pulling his mask off in front of an entire music festival crowd.

#asks #answered #sleep token #iii sleep token #iv sleep token #iii #iv #a little bit of vessel and ii also #sleepanon rant #photography #gif #oh whoops i wrote a book #my bad craftysquidz #i really hope this helps #and so sorry this took so long for me to respond to #also if anyone has anything to add to this #PLEASE DO IT🖤🖤🖤

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mahi-does-some-art · 2 months

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Sakuya's gonna be real lucky considering he probably drinks Mahiru's blood once in a while. (But he probably wouldn't realize it he would probably just be like "of course this blood is delicious, it's Mahiru's and everything about Mahiru is amazing)

Since Sakuya drinks blood like any other vampire via having to attack humans in secluded areas, blood-bags or blood-bags, he absolutely would notice. Mage blood is better than normal human blood and yes Sakuya has likely tasted his fair share but I do think Eve blood would knock the socks off any subclass.

I think it'd be a lot funnier if nobody knew the blood of an Eve was so much better because no subclass had the balls to try to feed off of an Eve or died trying.

I don't even think any of the Servamps would have known. Mahiru is Kuro's first Eve and any blood he had tasted was both hundreds of years ago and in a time where he'd absolutely dread it regardless of anything so Mahiru is the only blood he's had that was at a time he could properly take. He wouldn't have been able to tell the difference because of the gap in time. And Tsubaki is the only one whose never had a (human) Eve and feeds off mage and human blood-bags like his subclass.

The rest of the Servamps all have had Eve's one after another and get their blood pretty much exclusively from them and the taste of any non-Eve blood they may have found in their mouth would probably have been cast aside simply because it was unwanted or they weren't in good states.

So Mahiru is like. The first Eve to actually offer his blood to a subclass and it's Sakuya. Kuro wouldn't have any problem with it as long as neither of them get actually hurt in the process and all the other Servamps are just "Good for them".

So I think it'd be great if Sakuya finally tried and nearly passed out after he was pulled away because he just tasted the equivalent of vampire ambrosia. The reaction would make Mahiru worry, poor thing www

But also the next time Sakuya feeds like he normally does without Mahiru he can barely stand it because it doesn't even come close. His tastebuds are fucked like Kirito and Asuna in that episode of SAO abridged lol

#servamp #mahiru shirota #shirota mahiru #watanuki sakuya #sakuya watanuki #blood drinking #that would put sakuya in such a dilemma cuz either he asks Mahiru for more blood regularly or drink nasty blood #also would sakuya end up being salty that the servamps are blood spoilt? i think maybe #and sorry it took so long for me to answer i kinda suck at asks sometimes

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deoidesign · 9 months

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Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?

Thank you so much!

To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.

It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!

(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)

What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!

However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)

So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)

1: Separate study from application

I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:

If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring

It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time

Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time

Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!

I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.

When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!

2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"

This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.

If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!

The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!

My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.

But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)

Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!

I hope this helps!

#justbrowsing1124 #asks #art tips #drawing advice #drawing tips #art advice #long post here sorry #long post #I could have gone on so so so so so so much more but this took me like 2 hours to write #and I've gotta go to bed! haha #so if you feel like something wasn't properly explained you can send a follow up ask and I'd be happy to elaborate #I love answering questions like this #sorry if it sounds a bit condescending I wrote the post for like... what would have helped me to hear when I was just starting out #so I wrote it basically for how I think would help I guess a kid #sorry about that. the content is still all what I think though #also I realize that i didn't really talk about like... my journey... at all here lol.#I guess if you wanna know my personal journey I'd love to get into it!#but i focused a lot more on the second part #cause yknow #that's kinda what my journey was internally anyways #but yknow no fun progress of my art with notes about what I was doing and why #but fuck that sounds fun if someone did wanna know about that LOL #I am VERY deliberate with my art I could legit analyze every piece #pretentious? maybe. do I care? not at all.#why make it if I dont have a reason?

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wings-of-sapphire · 5 months

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Hi, I love your Wish rewrite so much that I want to do a fanart. Is there any design for them or references to inspire by them?

Asjsksjaks I wrote a whole-ass essay responding to this but it got deleted so here it is again

First of all— thank you so much! Please tag me when you finish it, you’ll be my favorite person ever

Now I assume you mean Asha and Star inspo. They’re under a cut because I really delved into this lmao

Asha

For our favorite princess, I see Asha basically the same, but with a lot fancier accessories and outfits. In her concept design, she had lots of jewelry and beads in her hair and on her dress inspired by Moroccan and Amazigh fashion:

And then a fancy dress worthy of a princess. She’s supposed to be commoner now, but her concept art had some pretty dresses

Ahaksjaksjs sorry for the shitty quality this was the only photo I could find

Some other dress designs I loved:

@puertoricanbelle

They made this as a final transformation outfit which, honestly, I love. It’s giving Ariel’s final dress, but mixed with Queen vibes and tbh in the movie I expected a transformation dress rather than just sparkles hajsksjs @ghostguts

Like??? She’s a princess so she has the royal colors??? Idk what it is I just love this

THIS DESIGN below I believe is made by @hoaxghost, but—

Lookit??? Not too formal not too common, gold accents and rings and the silhouette of the dress isn’t just like Rapunzel’s but has dimension and tassels and sleeves and nose is not a cute button which I think is reminiscent of Amaya and Magnifico, them being her parents in this rewrite. The concept art picture I showed also showed her with a bit of a longer nose which I like

(Also I feel like they lightened the royal couple’s skin in the movie? Or is it just me?)

Star

I also looked at the concept art for Starboy

^something like the one right above, I think But I also adored @kiiwiibun’s design of Star

I think in my rewrite I even added how Star has a dark teal half-cape thing like they drew!

I do imagine Star to have a constant glow, since he’s, you know, a star. But whether it’s from his skin, his hair, etc, you can decide! You basically have lots of wiggle room for this since I don’t have a design fully locked down yet. And hey, maybe you’ll create the “canon” looks for this Wish rewrite!

(Ps if any of the people I tagged want me to remove their art please let me know and I’ll do it right away— also is anyone knows who made that last Asha dress redesign please tell me too so I can tell them I love them)

💜💛

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boyfridged · 1 year

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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.

#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3 #anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline #i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it #and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ #“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him #also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights #i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay #<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea #that this is what bruce thinks #i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger #hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3 #i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit #outbox #jay.zip #jay.txt #dc #jason todd #core texts

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desertfangs · 4 months

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Reading through QotD and this somewhat obscure Armand/Daniel quote is driving me insane. “Oh, we shall go to the stars together! Nothing can stop us.” THEMMMMMM 🩷 Right before the concert and all Daniel can think of is how in love he is.

ANON yes this line is so good!! And he's so full of love, he's bursting with it!

And it's even better when you remember that it comes on the heels of Daniel asking Armand if he's happy with how he turned out. Daniel is manic and riding the high of finally being immortal. It's Halloween! It's the night of Lestat's concert! Everything is a spectacle to him, the way the street lights glint off windows, the kids racing by in costumes, the sounds. He's elated.

But also, Armand had always vehemently refused to turn him. They had horrible, vicious fights about it. We don't know exactly why he left six months before this but it's a solid guess that it was because he was fed up with Armand not giving him the blood and (imo) hoping Armand would chase him and finally relent. Victory is his!

But he worries that Armand isn't happy with him. He's so all over the place and Armand is trying to usher them safely to the show despite the danger to their kind is facing. Armand is focused on the task at hand and Daniel needs reassurance that he is okay, that Armand does not regret it, that this is what Armand wanted.

And this is the line in this book that I wanted painted on my wall. I want it illustrated and framed and hung above my bed! Because it gets me every freaking time:

"I love it well enough the way you turned out," he had whispered with a sudden irrepressible smile, the warmth still there. "You're my firstborn," he'd said. Was there a catch in his throat, a sudden glancing from right to left as if he'd found himself cornered? Back to the business at hand. "Be patient. I am being afraid for us both, remember?"

🥺🥺 I just. Even now I'm tearing up a little because it's so sweet, it's a genuine moment of emotion from Armand, who is actually overcome with love and pride for Daniel, even amidst this chaos. And it seems that for the time being at least, that is all the reassurance Daniel needs.

We shall go to the stars together! 😭😭

God, they deserve to. I know they have a rough road, but I do firmly believe they had some really good times together in those first few years before things got really tense, and even then, they had good nights, good weeks, good moments until they finally split.

This is why I really hope they have a lot more fun together in the post-canon era, after they reconnect and rekindle that love we see here. Their love is so powerful and special. This is why I love them together so much.

Thank you so much for sharing, ANON!

#anonymous #devil's minion #daniel molloy #armand #vc meta #queen of the damned #the devil's minion #armand/daniel #vc #vampire chronicles #answers in the desert #ALSO the coven house blows up like right after this which in retrospect seems kind of like a bad omen whoops #sorry it took me so long to get to this i guess my work is picking back up #which is good but means less time for vampire nonsense alas

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klausinamarink · 7 months

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klausi!! 🤍 i wanna bombard you with all these prompts but!!

91 "Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it." and/or 12 "I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

64 "Can I hold your hand?” and/or 79 "i like being close to you. you’re warm."

am i being too demanding :/ feel free to ignore this mwah! 🫶

dio!!! omg so great to hear from you! And don’t you worry you’re not demanding! these prompts are fantastic and I hope I did them justice for you 🫡 hope you can excuse the slight length and lateness

—

Steve loves Eddie.

It’s a fact as obvious as the monsters underneath everyone’s feet that haunted his sleeping state for years. It’s the truth that he has since accepted as part of something under his heart and bones, but is well too aware that if released, it can be ugly for everyone else.

Even with Robin, Steve just knows that if he even mumbles a fucking vowel, her first reaction would be, “Eddie would not like you.”

Okay, that’s just disrespectful to his platonic soulmate. Her first reaction would definitely be happy gasping, begging for details, using his love advice against him and strike multiple tally marks on the YOU RULE whiteboard.

But everyone else? Yeah, Steve can already see the disgust and contempt on their faces.

It would hurt more if Eddie’s one of them.

But fuck it. Steve’s always been the ‘rip the bandaid off’ kind of guy, especially when it comes to crushes. That’s why he’s going to tell Eddie first, future heartbreak and emotional breakdown be damned.

So here he is: driving down the road to the countryside that’s more farmland than actual farmhouses to the new Munson home.

And just as if the gods are giving him pity, Eddie’s already in the long driveway, leading Lucky out of the horse trailer.

It had surprised everyone that Eddie’s new job post-Vecna was a farmhand for a nearby horse ranch. But there’s not really a lot of other positions in Hawkins that would accept a falsely accused man who now hates the town even more for the witch hunt. The ranch on the other hand hadn’t cared much about Eddie’s history and had been quick to hire him for training shortly after the move.

Steve parks on the roadside just front of the house. Eddie seems too attentive with Lucky to notice his car yet, a gloved hand always petting the horse’s snout as he gently pulls the reins to the direction of the massive yard. Eddie has a gentle smile on his face, the one where the dimples show and gives him a little glow to the face.

It makes Steve smile too.

Eddie just looks so much happier.

He takes a deep breath and gets out of the car, the chilly November air and horse stink welcoming him. That snaps Eddie’s attention towards him, the smile breaking into a grin.

“Steve!” He cries out with a quick wave. Lucky gives a rather loud snort in greeting.

“Hey, Eds.” Steve waves back before jerking a chin up to the golden-brown horse as he walks up. “Taking Lucky to a timeout again?”

Eddie snorts, shaking his head, “I swear this horse either likes me more or he’s being a bastard on purpose for his owners.”

Apparently, out of all of the horses in the ranch, Lucky is the more “devil’s child” (which Eddie had described with a voice of an old Texas man). Steve hasn’t witnessed the actions himself, but the stories range from nipping other horses to clomping the front of a vehicle into smithereens for no reason except for an undisclosed hatred to the human race.

So predictably, Eddie is one of the very few humans who have the privilege to be Lucky’s close friends.

(“Honestly, I think this horse is an agent from the Upside Down. Steve, listen to me. I’ve faced a hoard of demobats but that horse scares me.” Eddie tells him one afternoon, just a week after being the new ranch hire. Steve listens to it all, but his eyes are on the ever wild gestures and lit cigarette dangerously close to burning his hair.

“If you’re afraid of it, then hasn’t it like,” Steve makes his best impression of a horse stomping someone to death.

Eddie snorts, taking a drag of his cigarette. “I guess I’m a braver motherfucker than I thought or Lucky just likes me better than the normal folk.”

I like you better too. Way more than the whole town. It’s not Steve’s first thought and it’s far from the last one he wishes to say alo.)

As Eddie leads Lucky alongside the fence of the pasture, Steve follows from behind, keeping a very safe distance from Lucky and his back legs of severe injury. Then Eddie opens the gate, letting Lucky run into the pasture.

Steve puts his arms on the fence, watching the horse gallop around and kicking up dirt clouds. He looks over at Eddie, who’s mirroring him but his gaze is on Steve. He smiles again, making Steve’s heart do a double flip.

“What is it?” Steve asks.

Eddie doesn’t answer. He only shuffles closer until their sides are pressing to each other. Then he tucks his chin onto Steve’s shoulder, his nose brushing the cheek. “I like being close to you. You’re warm.” Eddie finally says in a hushed voice like he’s sharing a secret.

Steve almost says it.

He almost tells Eddie, “I love you.”

But the words don’t come out. They feel blocked in his mouth. Like there’s one last gate to go through and Steve can’t find the key for it. It feels like he’s back in high school, fresh faced and still navigating the brutal castle that would chew him up and spit him out.

It feels frustrating that when the perfect opportunity for the confession is literally leaning against him, he can’t say it.

He’s scared now. That he’ll spit it out like an afterthought or say something like “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified” and have Eddie push him under Lucky’s hooves of death.

Eddie’s still looking at him. His eyes are hooded but cautious. He looks vulnerable. With the rays of sunlight still shining behind him, he looks beautiful.

Steve glances down at their hands. They hang limp over the fence, their pinkies barely touching. He swallows and says in a similar hushed voice, “Can I hold your hand?”

Eddie’s expression warms, his smile turning more tender. He takes off his gloves and slowly wraps his hand around Steve’s. His palm feels too smooth and sweaty with his pulse going wild.

It’s honestly perfect.

“This okay?” Eddie whispers.

Steve resists the urge to pinch between his eyebrows, hoping to blink away the sudden tears. “Yeah.”

Later, he would finally tell Eddie the three blessed words.

#i hope you like this!!!#super sorry this took long to write and answer because i started work again and I’m T I R E D nowadays #I feel kinda ehhh about what i wrote so pls forgive me if it’s a little off or something #also secret eddie horse girl?? it’s more likely than you think!#klaus writes #klaus answers

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glass-noodle · 1 year

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Do you have any hankcon fic recs? 👉👈

I DO 👀

(more under the cut because this got super long)

Most of these fics contain nsfw, if that's alright with you. Nsfw marked with an *

IRQ (Interrupt Request)* by rara_avis. Follows canon except that Hank and Connor become intimate just after the bridge scene. Lots of cool formatting and technical language as the story delves into Connor's psyche on his journey to deviation, which I think is so cool and really makes the fic stand out. I always come back to this one🥹

slow down, you're doing fine* by jilliancares. Hank helps Connor navigate various emotions post-revolution. I love the slow burn, and I love how the author writes Connor struggling to identify what he's feeling despite knowing the names for each emotion.

Instructions Not Included* by Vinci. Set directly after the revolution, Connor is experiencing strange Feelings and it all comes to a head when he and Hank are forced to go undercover at the Eden Club. Sexy, sweet, and well-written. What more could you ask for!

Skin Deep* by bughnrahk. A canon-universe soulmate AU which I'm admittedly not usually drawn to, but this one is written so well. Hank struggling to come to terms with not only having a soulmate at 53, but an android soulmate, and Connor confronting both the fact that he's alive and the fact that he has a soulmate, is written in such an exciting and captivating way.

the other way to someday* by theslap/bigspoonnoya. Connor is Cole's second grade teacher - his very attractive second grade teacher. You can probably already tell that I'm a sucker for canon fics, but this AU had me crying and laughing and fanning myself the whole way through. A fandom classic

Buried Beneath the Snow* by ConnorRK. MIND THE TAGS, heavy CWs for this fic. Gavin is not a good guy in this. That being said, if you're looking for insanely good writing and characterization, loads of hurt/comfort, Connor whump, and protective Hank, this is your fic. An Eden Club AU set post failed-revolution; Connor is resold as an Eden Club android with no memories of being a deviant hunter, and no memories of Hank. The slow burn and Connor and Hank falling for each other despite Connor having no memories of the time they spent together, and despite the fact that his memory is wiped every 2 hours, has had me crying at 2 am more than once

stargazing by Molias. Honestly, everything by this author is fantastic, so you should definitely check out the rest of their work. But I have a soft spot for this fic and A Secret Singing in Our Fingertips* by the same author. They're both so lovely and sweet and full of emotion; whenever I want to read something that will make me absolutely swoon, I come to these fics.

Seiche by CeilingKiwi. On the other hand, if you're looking to get your feelings hurt this fine MerMay, this is for you. A gorgeous and heartwrenchingly bittersweet merman AU featuring depressed organic!merman Hank and abandoned android!merman Connor, and the ways they try and keep each other from falling apart.

you, the moon. you, the road. by plutoandpersephone. A post-revolution oneshot - Hank is injured on the job, and Connor is forced to confront the emotions that have been steadily, silently building within him since deviating. The writing in this fic leaves me breathless; it's the type of fic you never want to end. While you're at it, check out dieu et mon droit*, a prince Connor/president Hank AU fandom staple ;)

anything by Jolli_Bean. Honestly, I can't decide which fic of theirs I like best, haha. Just know that there's something for everyone - short or long, sweet or dramatic, canon or AU; all of them gorgeously written.

he's making a list; i'm checking him out* by connorsjorts. The mall santa AU we all deserve! This fic is so fun. Sweet, cute, sexy, and full of Christmas shenanigans.

Count the Stars by dbhprincess. Another stargazing fic because I'm a sucker for them apparently. Complete with sharing a sleeping bag, mildly awkward/sexy shenanigans, and first kisses <3 (also check out their Martian AU series, No Longer Alone!)

Whole* by blackeyedblonde. This time it's Connor who's injured at work, and they're both more than a little overcome with emotion. I enjoy any story that explores Connor's android features and his ability to feel pain, and the shaky aftermath of tenderness and desperation that follows a grievous injury is something I will ALWAYS eat up.

For mostly-smut fics (some with more plot, some with very little. Also mostly bottom!Connor, sorry if you're a big fan of bottom!Hank):

Tell Me How to Feel a Thing (I Want it All)* by bibliomaniac

Nightcall* by FAB900

Pulse* by biocomp

concede, comply (contend, deny) by biocomp

Slide On In* by teasoni

Glut* by bigolegay

Pleasure Liberation* by (orphan_account)

Knuckle, Buckle, Kneel* by Synekdokee

Flowers in My Mouth* by Molias

Finally, there are a couple of fics that I'm currently reading: Synthetic Blues* (ongoing) by jaemyun, downloading to paris (ongoing) by sevdrag, A Seraphim Story* (finished) by anonymousEDward, and Electric Indigo* (ongoing; unsure if on hiatus) by taranoire. All worth checking out!!

WHEW. Okay, I think I'm done. There are sooo many good fics out there, and I've only read a few out of a sea of thousands. If anyone has their own recs, feel free to add them! I will definitely be adding more the more I read :)

#sorry this took so long to answer this literally took me ages to write lool #i could go on forever #there's many I haven't mentioned here that I still love to pieces but I would be writing for centuries #also keep in mind that i entered the fandom not too long ago!! so there are probably tons of fandom classics from earlier fandom days #that i have yet to read #hankcon #fic rec #noodle talk

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