#am I making this a series of posts?? apparently LMAO

[unpretty]

please imagine these bullet points as a series of posts made over the course of a semester in 2015, copied from the tumblr tag i made specifically to bitch about my econ/business government and society professor:

lmao econ prof arguing against the fda

we are also supposed to subscribe to the wall street journal for this class ahahaha like hell

I spoke up about this godawful climate change article and about how literally every fact I tried to check was wrong, he tried to argue that wasn’t the point of the article but it totally was

“Does anyone watch Fox News” this class in a nutshell

the professor in the class i hate is talking about how jesus would love capitalism because it has lifted so many people out of poverty

he’s complaining about progressive income tax lmao god i hate this class

LET THE FREE MARKET DECIDE unless the free market makes an anti-corporate decision, then consumers have been misinformed and the activists responsible should be ashamed of themselves

I hope everyone’s ready for Shitty Class Liveblogging because now he’s claiming that gas prices will never go back up and gas will always be cheap from now on and also peak oil is a lie

Now he’s talking about the story of Jonah and the whale as relates to this article he saw in the Wall Street Journal. Across the class, I see a girl squint into the middle distance and mouth the word, “what.”

“is it okay to fire a pizza delivery person who doesn’t want to drive to a bad neighborhood”

this is the literal worst and most bullshit explanation of utilitarianism I have ever experienced oh my god. for the purposes of this class we are supposed to ignore ‘for the greatest number’ as an aspect of utilitarianism. just. completely altering the basic foundation of utilitarianism as an idea. apparently the free market didn’t like the actual definition so they changed it.

THIS PROFESSOR IS PRO-ENRON I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW THIS IS A REAL THING #FREE MARKET IT WAS LEGAL FREE MARKET

“I don’t think we have very many people in the United States dying because they couldn’t afford medication” actual quote from this professor right now

lmao i’m in the class i hate, he’s complaining about net neutrality now

This just in: poor people are poor because they make bad decisions, the wealth gap can be eliminated by teaching poor people how to play the stock market. This is a real thing that he apparently gives presentations about. He gets paid to tell people this.

Shitty professor isn’t going to be there tomorrow but he wants us to come in anyway to listen to a lecture on CD. Not one of his, just generally. Like, a home learning thing he bought. We asked if he could just put it on Blackboard but he said he didn’t know how to put a CD on Blackboard.

lmao I fucking knew this was the great courses. this professor is off at a conference telling people to teach the poor to trade stocks and he’s just having us sit here listening to an audiobook course he paid for about philosophy.

shitty professor is arguing the necessity of child labor in third world countries because otherwise the children would starve and be prostitutes. yes those are definitely the only two options.

oh my god he just argued that the rich are a minority protected by the constitution

I was really embarrassed about getting a 67 out of 85 on this Business, Government, and Society test but then it turned out the class average was 40 and I got the highest grade in the class. My strategy of always picking the answer I find most morally reprehensible is going well for me.

Monopolies aren’t actually that bad! Also, unions are monopolies, which is bad. (i was the only one who got a lot of the essay questions right so I had to read them in class it was awful)

libertarian economist professor gets really emotional about animals and i think he just argued that if elephants were privately owned they wouldn’t be poached because no one poaches cows

It’s my last week in the class I hate before finals and I’m pretty sure he’s arguing that the Enron scandal happened because there was too much government regulation

oh my god he’s arguing that enron was trying to do california a favor by pointing out a flaw in their system (by exploiting it) h my god he’s not even addressing the fraud in their accounting this whole class has been leading up to his passionate defense of fucking enron

#original #he had nothing to do with the candy bar that was just a very funny punchline to my student loans

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 8

series masterlist | previous part

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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landonorris 100th race, p2, and a nice little call with my girl to show off her flexibility. thank you austin

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user3 ‘MY GIRL’🥹🥹🥹

user7 I KNEWWW EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY

user9 lando have you seen what she’s done?

landonorris have friends? yeah pretty happy for her tbh

charles_leclerc p2 because the fia hates lewis and me*

user2 see everyone the boys are fine

landonorris keep crying mate

yourusername i actually hate you so bad rn

yourusername @/charles_leclerc SURE you don’t wanna date me instead?

user1 HELP Y/N AJDJDJSJ

user6 she said i’ve had ENOUGH

charles_leclerc make me that rice dish again and i’ll consider it

landonorris @/charles_leclerc you don’t even know what tteokbokki is called you don’t deserve her😤

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, lilymhe and 200,087 others

yourusername from monaco with love

👤 tagged alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc

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alex_albon we need to have a serious conversation about how cute lily always looks in the photos you take and yet…. me…

lilymhe that’s just your face baby

charles_leclerc he’s not gonna know what hit him🤫

yourusername you could not have made this sound worse

charles_leclerc i’m quite enjoying being an accessory to internet drama

lilymhe do you know what’s rude? you spend one (1) second with a man and get a dating rumour… yet NOTHING when you hang w me!

yourusername FR we’ve been married for two years atp🙄

landonorris i know a Better place in monaco you can visit🧡

yourusername get your cute butt home and show me then

texts with charles ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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y/nupdates y/n at the airport today!! it seems she’s flying out to mexico for the upcoming grand prix 🩷

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user9 seriously? has everyone just forgotten she’s a cheater?

user3 and yet you follow fan accounts of her??? get a life

user7 ur actually miserable. lando hates u.

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y/nupdates any unnecessary hate comments will be deleted and you will be blocked🩷

user8 she’s so pretty even in the rain :( and she stopped to take photos with fans

user1 apparently someone gave her a necklace with an L on it and she put it straight on🥹

user8 @/user1 YOURE KIDDING THATS SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY

user1 THEY GAVE HER A MATCHING BRACELET FOR LANDO WITH HER INITIALS ON AS WELL!!!!

landonorris thank you admin for giving me a new lockscreen

user2 OH MY GOD ADMIN

y/nupdates 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 YOU ARE SO WELCOME

landonorris just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

tweet 4 should finish: hate towards those close to me*

tweet 6 should finish: blocked by my team**

twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

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mclaren from p17-p5. not the start to the weekend he wanted but he only went and turned it around🙌🏻

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user2 SO PROUDDDS

user9 all because of her….

user3 HAVE FUN GETTING BLOCKED LMAO

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user6 GUYS I THINK MCLAREN ACTUALLY BLOCKED THEM THE COMMENT ISNT SHOWING UP FOR ME LMAOOO

yourusername that’s my boy

mclaren we heard it had something to do with his lucky charm😉

user3 this isn’t taking a week off ma’am

yourusername had to support the boy. it starts now <3

y/nupdates just tweeted ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n:

OKAY this part was boring i am very sorry BUT there is onE OFFICIAL PART LEFT. it’ll be a long one i warn now but then there may be a mini epilogue of stuff i fully made up for next summer xxxx

thank you all for coming on this crazy ride with me — sorry it’s aLL OVER THE PLACE atm but it makes sense in my head ok

charles au is also otw next week and a one shot lando smau

taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicoranorca @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris au #lando norris imagine #mclaren #lando norris blurb #lando norris scenario #lando norris smau

[atlabeth]

bad luck - nikolai lantsov

summary: you have little hope after being captured by slavers in the depths of ravka. but then your ship is commandeered, and you get a little more than you bargained for with your privateer savior.

a/n: sorry that it has been a while since ive posted anything on here and sorry about my neglect for my other series but i am a nikolai lover first a writer second and a person third!!! apparently i cannot write a normal length one shot with this man but i hope you enjoy

wc: 5.3k

warning(s): fem!reader, sturmhond!nikolai, reader is captured by slavers but there is no detail, mentions of fighting and killing, mentions of arranged marriages, reader is highkey annoyed by sturmhond lmao, but a fluffy (and lowkey steamy) ending

At first, you’d thought you were hallucinating. 

You couldn’t remember the last time your captors had given you, given anyone in the brig, water, and the beginning of a spiral into insanity wouldn’t have exactly surprised you. 

Explosions, gunshots, the screams of dying men. You’d imagined the entire crew dropping dead many times so it wasn’t a shock that this was where your madness would begin. You just closed your eyes, tried to pretend you weren’t in chains, and reveled in the sound. 

And then the door to the brig was broken down, and your eyes shot open. You moved to the front of your cell, gripping the cold bars as you looked to see what sort of new danger had been brought upon you. 

Instead, you were met with a cocky-looking man—though he hardly appeared old enough to be called a man—a pistol in his relaxed grip and another hanging by his side. His bright teal frock coat didn’t belong in a dingy place such as this. 

“Hello, all,” he said pleasantly. “I am happy to say this ship has been commandeered.”

Your grip slackened. “What?”

Your question was drowned out by immediate rioting by all the other prisoners, and the man glanced at the woman by his side. She took one of her two axes from its place at her hip and walked over to your cell. Her golden eyes gleamed, and her axe moved in a barely visible flash. She’d chopped the lock clean off, and the cell door creaked open. The whole brig had fallen silent. 

You took another step back, eyes still wide. The man walked up next to her, peering inside your cell at all the prisoners bunched in together, but when his eyes met yours, they widened. His entire body went rigid for a moment, so imperceptible that you thought you’d imagined it when he looked away. 

“I have no desire to keep you all here against your will,” he said. “Call me your liberator, call me your savior, call me a captain who just hates slavers—it doesn’t matter to me right now. The only thing that matters to me right now is that this is my ship.”

“Are we free?” you asked.

Again, the captain’s expression changed ever so slightly when he looked at you—this time, you knew you hadn’t imagined it. 

“Yes,” he said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smile. “You’re free.”

You couldn’t help but smile yourself, and the chains around your wrists felt lighter knowing they would be off soon.

The captain cleared his throat as he turned away, looking at the rest of the prisoners. “Now, do any of you know where they keep the keys on this ship? If we can’t find them, Tamar here will use those handy axes on your shackles.”

Someone spoke up and the captain sent one of his men off to retrieve them, then he looked at the golden-eyed woman. Shu, no doubt. “Tamar, get the rest of these cells open then bring them above deck. I’d like to make a speech.”

She nodded and got to work. Soon enough, you were breathing in salty air and reveling in the wind on your face. You’d been below deck for far too long, and the feeling of sunlight on your skin was glorious. You allowed yourself a moment to close your eyes and just enjoy it. Your mind blocked out the spilled blood and dead bodies of the crew that you had to walk through. You wouldn’t shed any tears for them, but you weren’t accustomed to the brutality that your parents sheltered you from. 

“I’d like to introduce myself to you all.” You opened your eyes and the captain was speaking, standing in front of the orderly line you’d all formed. The Shu woman from before—Tamar, he called her—stood at his left, and a similarly golden-eyed man had just joined them. Between his size and her axes, you were quite thankful they were—at least for now—on your side. 

“You can call me Sturmhond,” he said. “Perhaps you’ve heard of me, perhaps you haven’t. I don’t particularly care. As you likely saw, each and every man and woman previously aboard this ship is dead, in case you doubted my promises to your freedom. That is what I care about.” 

The thought would have normally made bile rise in your throat. You may not have been accustomed, but you liked to believe you weren’t wholly naive. 

“But I want to be clear,” the captain said, “this is not a rescue. This is an opportunity.” 

Sturmhond gestured with his head and a woman stepped forward, lithe with wispy hair divided into two braids. She moved her hands apart and concentrated, and with a few concise movements, the cuffs around your wrists broke apart and fell to the ground. Your eyes widened, and the exacerbated clatter made you glance down the line, same as some of the others—she removed everyone’s shackles at once. 

Sturmhond kept company with Grisha. You knew the captain was Ravkan from his accent, but any connection to the Grand Palace and the King sent unease trickling down your spine. The chances were small, what with how much time Grisha spent in the Little Palace—Saints, the Fabrikator might not even be Ravkan—but there was still a chance. The last thing you needed was to be recognized. 

“We didn’t really need the keys,” Sturmhond said with a boyish smile. Again, you were struck by how out of place he looked—he should have been in university, not heading operations like this. “I just wanted to make you all squirm a little. Tamar’s axes are quite terrifying.” 

“Who says we want any part of your opportunities?” asked a man from down the line. 

“Because I’m allowing you the choice,” the captain said. “Those of you who wish to be free of the sea and her constraints, we are by the Zemeni border. You will be dropped at the nearest harbor, and your fate will be back in your control.”

There were grumblings throughout your fellow prisoners and you glanced at them. It was a better offer than any of you would have gotten, a chance for freedom that you thought was long past you. Novyi Zem had no grief with Ravka, so you would be safe enough there. You could get a job working the fields or in a factory, and once you had enough you could book passage back to Ravka. You could find your family again. 

Your throat tightened. You ran from them—that was why you were here in the first place. Maybe it would be better to try and start a new life all together, nameless in Novyi Zem. No one would ask questions, you were sure of it. You would be in control of your fate again. 

And then the captain got a glint in his eye. Your spine straightened almost on instinct. 

“As for those of you who want revenge,” he tilted his head, “you can earn a place in my crew.” 

“Why would we work for you?” a woman from across the brig shouted. “We’ve got our freedom!” 

“Because there is little more satisfying than causing the destruction of those who tried to destroy you,” Sturmhond said. “And because the sea is rather lovely when you’re not a captive.” 

“That is my opportunity to you all.” He clasped his hands together, the wind ruffling his red hair. “A chance to help those like you, and put slavers at the bottom of the ocean where they belong.” 

“Why would we want to work with pirates?” you spoke up. “We have lives to get back to. And half of us aren’t fighters.” 

You didn’t know what it was about you that made Sturmhond’s expression shift just so each time he looked at you, but it was beginning to irk you. 

“Privateer, actually,” he corrected. His voice was annoyingly smooth, and his unyielding confidence even more irritating. “As I said, it’s your choice. And it will take us three days to reach Novyi Zem, so you will have time to decide.” 

You huffed a laugh, but decided to stay silent. You’d dealt with too many men like him, but it wasn’t a bother—in three days, you would be back in the same position you were in before your bad luck struck. 

“Now,” the captain said with an equally smooth smile, folding his hands behind his back, “any questions?”

Nobody spoke up. Whether it was out of fear or simple ambivalence you didn’t know, but you didn’t feel like getting on the captain’s bad side. You planned to keep your head down for three days and figure it all out in Novyi Zem. 

“Wonderful. We’ll divide our forces between this ship and the Volkvolny,” he said. “Any of you who wish to transfer ships will be allowed.” His lip curled as he looked around the dingy conditions of the slaver ship. “I doubt you want to spend much more time on board this wreck.”

“Some of my crew will get you situated as we prepare to set sail,” Sturmhond continued. “If you find you have any burning questions later, save them or direct them to Tolya here.” He gestured to the Shu man as tall as a tree standing by him, and he only looked slightly irritated to be given up like that. 

“I suppose the only thing left to do is officially welcome you aboard.” Sturmhond swept an arm through the air. “I hope you’ve all earned your sea legs.”

He walked off, Tolya and Tamar following him. They must’ve been his first mates—you were immensely glad they weren’t against you, what with his size and her axes.  

But as he did, you couldn’t help but stare. The strangest feeling had come over you during his speech, one that was exacerbated every time he passed the slightest glance at you, every time his expression changed. He was just… unnatural. Unsettling.

You allowed yourself a deep breath and shook your head, trying to focus on the crewmember that was speaking to you all. You didn’t care if he was unnatural or unsettling—you would be gone in three days. 

All you had to do was keep your head down. 

-

Sleep wasn’t easy after the day you’d had, but your tired limbs won out after an hour or so of staring at the ceiling. The cot you’d been assigned wasn’t much for comfort, but it might as well have been the plushest mattress you’d ever felt after what you’d been sleeping on before.

You slowly opened your eyes, your grogginess fighting against you at every step, because you had the dimmest feeling that something was wrong. When you saw golden eyes above you, you nearly screamed.

You thankfully held it in, but you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. 

“What are you doing here?” you whispered.

“Sturmhond wishes to speak to you,” Tamar said, wholly unfazed as if she did this all the time. She probably did. 

“Why?” 

“My job isn’t to ask questions,” Tamar said. She left it at that, and you sighed as you pulled yourself out of the hammock. You followed her, squinting in an attempt not to bump into anything in the darkness. The Volkvolny wasn’t familiar to you yet, but it was easier once you were above deck. You rubbed the grogginess out of your eyes when she opened the door to the captain’s quarters for you. 

She didn’t follow you in, and you didn’t know whether it was a relief or not. 

“Ah. You’re here.” Sturmhond turned around from a cabinet, holding a bottle of kvas, a slight smile on his lips. “Drink?” 

“You didn’t just invite me here for a nightcap,” you said placidly, “did you?” 

“Of course not,” he said. “I thought it would remind you of home.” 

You frowned. “You’re Ravkan. Who’s to say I am too?” 

“How did you know I was Ravkan?” 

“Your accent.” 

“Then how do you think I knew you were Ravkan?” 

“Maybe I will need a drink,” you said bitterly. “It’s the only way I think I can keep dealing with you.” 

Sturmhond sighed as he poured a fair amount into two cups. “Such harsh words for a noble girl. Quite a stroke of bad luck for the daughter of a duke to end up on a slaver’s ship.” 

“Who’s to say I’m the daughter of a duke?” you asked. 

He arched an eyebrow. “Do you really want to keep playing this game?” 

You crossed your arms in response, and he shook his head with a chuckle. 

“An accent gives quite a bit away,” Sturmhond said. “It’s also obvious to anyone that looks at you—and I assume you have quite a few admirers. You speak Ravkan like a princess, like you were taught in schools rather than the streets. You have a gleam in your eye that says you still have hope. And,” he looked you up and down, “you carry yourself with confidence despite your position. Not the attitude of a girl on the other side of the ditch.” 

Your lip curled. “How astute of you.” 

“Thank you,” he said with a smile. 

“Born and raised in Os Alta,” you acquiesced. You offered a thin smile of your own back. “And I suppose you’re correct. Bad luck seems to follow me as of late.”

“You wound me,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest. “Are you claiming that my rescuing you is a continuation of your bad luck?”

“I thought you said this wasn’t a rescue, captain.”

“Sturmhond,” he said.

Your lips twitched in a momentary smile. “I thought you said this wasn’t a rescue, Sturmhond.”

“It isn’t,” he agreed, taking a sip of kvas, “it’s an opportunity. I’m just curious of what drove your choice.” 

You crossed your arms. “Strange of a pirate to be so curious about a prisoner.” 

“Privateer,” Sturmhond corrected, “and you’re no longer a prisoner.”

“My point still stands,” you said wryly. 

“Is it wrong of me to be curious?” he asked. 

“It’s pointless,” you said. “And if you’re done with your little interrogation, I’d like to get back to sleep.” 

“I’m not here to be your enemy.” He sat up, taking another sip of his drink. “Surely you understand that.”

“I understand it perfectly well,” you said. “I just don’t see why you care.”

“Fine,” he amended, “I’ll let you be. Just one more question.” Sturmhond sat up in his chair, leaning forward as he looked you straight in the eye. His were the strangest shade of green. “Why did you run?” 

You actually recoiled at his question, your reflex winning over any desire to hold back your emotions. “Excuse me?” 

He didn’t waver. “I thought my question was quite clear.”  

You picked up the cup he’d poured for you and threw it back. The kvas burned your throat—your tolerance never was all that—but it didn’t make much difference with the scowl already on your face. 

“You don’t get to ask me questions, pirate.” 

“Privateer,” you heard him correct, and it only made you slam the door harder on your way out. 

-

Three days of keeping your head down should have been easy. Sturmhond, however, appeared to have a different agenda. 

He ignored you for the entire next day, but that night, Tamar was waiting for you before you could even get to the barracks. 

“Seriously?” you asked. “Did he not get my message clearly enough last night?”

She shrugged. “He just asked to see you again. I don’t know why.”

You sighed and made an offhanded gesture. “Fine. Let’s go.”

You opened the door yourself this time when she got you there, not even bothering to shut it as you stared at Sturmhond.

“What are you playing at?” you demanded. 

“Good evening to you as well,” he said. “How did you sleep?”

“What are you playing at,” you repeated flatly. 

“I’m not playing at anything,” he said. “Is it a crime to enjoy your company?” 

Your jaw ticked, and your hands clenched into fists. “If you’re after what I—”

“I’m not after anything,” he assured with a frown, “and certainly not what you’re thinking.”

His interruption peeved you, but you found that you actually believed him. The tension eased from your shoulders ever so slightly.

“…Good,” you said after a moment. “But I still don’t understand the need for these meetings. I plan to be gone by tomorrow.”

“Because I know you,” he said. “You may not know me, but I consider myself generally knowledgeable of Ravka and its upper class.”

“What,” you said wryly, “do you want my advice on how best to rob them?”

“Of course not,” Sturmhond said. “I wouldn’t need your advice for that.”

You huffed a laugh. “So what do you want?”

“I’ve been at sea for quite some time,” he said, “and you’ve only just left Ravka. I’d very much appreciate it if you could share some of your insider knowledge on the Lantsovs.”

“You assume I have any.”

“I assume that the woman who used to be Nikolai Lantsov’s betrothed would have some,” Sturmhond replied smoothly.

Your heart stuttered for a beat at the mention of Nikolai. Any doubt Sturmhond might have had over his claim had to have dissolved with your expression. 

He arched an eyebrow. “Well?”

You allowed yourself a deep breath before you finally took the seat across from him.

“Fine,” you said. “You’ve got me. I’m the daughter of a Ravkan duke and I used to be engaged to a Lantsov prince. Did you just want to prove your knowledge?”

“Not at all.” Sturmhond wisely poured an additional glass—brandy rather than kvas, thankfully. You needed something stronger if you were to deal with this. “I want your knowledge.” 

“My being betrothed to Nikolai is why I don’t know as much as you think,” you said. You downed half the glass at once and your chest burned less than the memory. “Nikolai and I were to be wed when we were of age, yes, but he disappeared before I got the chance.”

“Disappeared?”

You nodded. “He was meant to come back after his service so we could prepare for the wedding. Instead,” your lips curled in a disdainful smile, “he up and left. The king broke off our engagement and I haven’t heard a word from Nikolai since.”

Sturmhond frowned. “My deepest apologies.”

You shrugged. “He made his choice. Apparently he’s in Ketterdam studying, but I very much doubt that. He was never good at sitting still. But wherever he is, I hope he’s still alive.” You huffed a laugh. “I cannot imagine Vasily taking the throne.”

“I’m sure he is still alive,” Sturmhond said. “And I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten you.”

“How kind of you,” you said dryly.

He was silent for a long moment before he spoke again. “You say you plan to be gone by tomorrow. Does your plan include returning to Ravka?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “But I ran from my family and my fate, and that’s why I ended up here. I don’t think I can go back just yet.”

“And what fate did you run from?” Sturmhond asked.

“A marriage I didn’t want,” you said plainly.

“As opposed to the marriage you did want.”

“Are we done here?” you asked. “Because I don’t think you need to know more of my personal life.”

Sturmhond smiled after a moment and nodded. “Yes. But I’d like to see you one more time tomorrow, before we officially part ways.”

“You’re not going to change my mind,” you said.

“And I don’t intend to. There’s just one last thing I wish to share with you.”

“And you can’t do that now?” you asked wryly.

“Patience is a virtue, darling.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He held up his hands. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You’re very strange for a pirate,” you said.

“I’m quite normal for a privateer,” Sturmhond said.

You huffed a laugh and shook your head as you stood. “Enjoy the rest of your night, privateer.”

You felt his eyes on you as you left, and now more than ever you couldn’t shake that feeling. You looked at Tamar as you shut the door. 

“How long have you been part of his crew?”

“A few years,” she said.

“Do you ever get used to him?”

Her lips quirked into a smile. “No.”

You sighed as the two of you started to walk. “What a surprise.”

-

You were at Sturmhond’s door the next afternoon, Tamar by your side. She hadn’t come to deliver you, but on your way there she told you she would be joining you. You certainly weren’t going to refuse her.

As usual, you didn’t bother to knock. As usual, Sturmhond was sitting at his desk. Tamar followed you in and shut the door, not as usual. Your brows knit together slightly. 

“You actually came,” he said.

“Consider me intrigued,” you said. “I couldn’t just walk off and never know what you wanted to ‘share with me’.” 

The corner of his mouth curled up into an achingly familiar smile. “You’re just as fiery as I remember.”

“We just met,” you said dryly.

“On the contrary.” Sturmhond sat up, and he removed his jacket. A metal pin glinted on his vest, a crowned double eagle. The Lantsov coat of arms. Your frown deepened. “You spent the other day describing our lost time together.”

“I’m…” you blinked and shook your head. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m Nikolai Lantsov,” he said. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make me say all my titles, though.” 

For a moment, you just stared at him. And then you laughed in complete disbelief. 

“Is that what this is? You consider me a fool?”

“On the contrary,” he repeated. “It is because of your intelligence that I deigned to reveal myself.” He offered a wry smile. “And because you don’t hate me the way you should.”

“You cannot just say something so absurd and expect to believe it,” you said. “Anyone can rummage up a coat of arms. I have not heard and or received a single word from Nikolai, and now I am supposed to believe that he is right in front of me?”

“It sounds absurd when you put it like that,” Sturmhond said with a frown. 

“Because it is absurd,” you enunciated. “I actually thank you for this, because now I know I’m making the correct choice. You may be a good captain, but you are a complete blackguard.” 

You turned and offered a tight smile to Tamar. “Please move. I’d like to leave.” 

“He speaks the truth,” Tamar said. “I promise you. He’s Nikolai Lantsov. My brother tailored him into Sturmhond at the beginning of all this, when we joined his crew. ” 

You paused and looked back at the pirate claiming to be the man you loved. “What?” 

“Nikolai Lantsov is much more valuable as a hostage on the seas,” he said. “No one spares a second glance at Sturmhond.” 

“Then change him back,” you said, looking back at Tamar. “Get your brother and make him change him back if you want even the slightest chance of me believing these lies.” 

“They are not lies,” she insisted. “And I’m not the best tailor.” 

“You’re both Grisha,” you said flatly. 

“Heartrenders,” Sturmhond (Nikolai?) supplied. “My most trusted crew. Come on, Tamar— I believe in you. Work your magic.” 

She rolled her eyes as she walked over to him, and though your immediate instinct was to take the exit you’d been given, you crossed your arms and waited as she did her work. It didn’t take long for his muddy green eyes to change to hazel, his red hair to blonde. A slightly less broken nose. 

He… he looked like the Nikolai you knew. It was staggering to just be standing across from him—or at least a mirror image of him—after so long apart. Older, more weathered, but with the same glint in his eye. The same glint that you looked forward to with each day, the glint that you remembered when you didn’t have him anymore. 

“That doesn’t mean much,” you finally said, glancing away. “If you can tailor him into Sturmhond, surely you can tailor him into a Lantsov.” 

“You overestimate my tailoring abilities,” Tamar said dryly. 

“I still don’t trust it,” you said, and you started again for the door. 

“When we were seven, I convinced you to sneak out of our etiquette lessons and go down to the river,” he suddenly said. Your hand froze on the door. “You scraped yourself on a particularly sharp rock while we were traversing the waters—you still have the scar on your ankle.”

You turned around. “How do you know that?” 

“My father held a party and your family attended,” he continued. “We were ten and it was the most boring night possible. We evaded our parents’ attention and snuck off to the kitchens.” He smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever had so many pastries in my life.” 

A smile of your own, almost subconscious, began to form on your lips. You hadn’t thought of that party in years. 

“And when I was fifteen, the year before I enlisted, I did the worst thing I could have done to your father.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I took one of his prized swords and did all sorts of moves trying to impress you—I only managed to dent it and get banned from your home for months.” 

“I can’t believe you remember that,” you murmured. 

“And…” he sighed and opened his drawer, rummaging around for a moment. He held a ring between his fingers when he emerged, and your heart stopped beating for a second. “I still have this.” 

Your hand was shaking when you reached beneath your collar and took hold of the string around your neck. You pulled it into view, and the ring hanging on the bottom glinted in the light. 

Your engagement rings still matched perfectly. 

Nikolai’s smile was bright as you remembered as the realization hit. “And you still have yours.” 

“Of course I do,” you said. “It was a lot of work to keep it in my possession.” 

“I’m glad you went through it, then.”

“It really is you,” you whispered, letting your makeshift necklace fall back against your skin. “I— I just don’t understand. Why are you here? Why are you playing pretend as a pirate?” 

“Privateer,” he corrected. He glanced over at Tamar, still holding her post. “Could you give us a moment alone?” 

She nodded and left, shutting the door behind her. The room felt smaller with just you and Nikolai in it, with the man you were meant to marry who left you in the past. 

“I do this because I can do much more to help Ravka from the seas as Sturmhond than gallivanting around court as a second son—a bastard son at that. My parents appreciate Sturmhond much more than they would Prince Nikolai.” 

“I appreciated Prince Nikolai,” you said. “I appreciated just Nikolai. You could have at least sent a letter.” 

“I know,” Nikolai said. To his credit, he did look mournful. “If there is one thing I regret about all of this, it is how I left you. I said what I said the other day because it’s true—I have not forgotten you. I never did.” 

“Then why go through all of this with me?” you asked. “Why annoy me into spending time with you?” 

“Because I’ve always been quite good at annoying you,” Nikolai said wryly, then his expression sobered. “And because… I didn’t know how you would feel about me after all this time. Everything you said yesterday was true—I did leave you, and I haven’t said a word to you since. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated me, and if you did, I didn’t want to force myself back into your life.” He managed another small smile. “Fortunately for me, you did not hate me.” 

“I could never hate you, Nikolai,” you murmured. “I— I loved you. For a long time, and I think I still might.” 

“Even more fortunate for me,” he said softly. 

“So why didn’t you come back?” you asked. 

“I…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. Still cut in a military style. “You talked about how you despised your parents for forcing you into a marriage at such a young age. I didn’t want to force you into a life with me. If I had known you—” he chuckled, a boyish smile on his lips— “if I had known you loved me, I don’t know if Sturmhond would have ever come into fruition.” 

“You are the reason I was here,” you said. “My parents thought they struck gold when the king agreed to a marriage between us. I thought I had struck gold as well, in you—a marriage my parents wanted couldn’t have been all bad if you were meant to be my husband. But you left that in the dust, and they still wanted a husband for me.” 

“A marriage you didn’t want,” he echoed, his eyes soft. 

You nodded. “They did all the work behind the scenes—I was going to meet him on our wedding day, some Kerch banker’s son. And I just… couldn’t face a life like that. So I ran. And with all the luck in the world—” you gestured lazily— “I ended up here.”

“Then I suppose it’s only fair that I ended up rescuing you,” Nikolai said. 

“I thought this wasn’t a rescue,” you said wryly. 

He chuckled and shook his head. “No. It’s still an opportunity— one I think you’ll like much more.” 

You arched an eyebrow. “Oh?” 

“I plan to go back and take the throne someday,” Nikolai said, moving around his desk to be closer to you. “But I don’t want to miss another moment with you, not now. So until then,” he took your hand, encasing it between his own, and the warmth it provided was something you’d sorely missed, “will you do me the honor of sailing by my side?” 

“I’m not a sailor,” you said with a breathy laugh. 

“I can teach you,” he said eagerly. “I can teach you everything I know until you’re a better privateer than me. And you can teach me everything I’ve missed while being at sea—all the noble things I ought to know for when I return home.” 

Your lips quirked in a smile, hardly able to contain the giddiness bursting in your chest. Your life went from destruction at the hands of slavers to renewal with Nikolai Lantsov by your side once more. 

“How can I refuse?” 

Nikolai grinned, and he tugged on your intertwined hands to pull you into a kiss. It wasn’t the first one you’d shared, but it was surely the best. It felt like a promise of something new—the promise that he wouldn’t let you go like he did before. 

You were breathless when you pulled away, and the sight of Nikolai, blonde hair slightly ruffled because of you, his lips slightly red because of you, made you kiss him even harder the second time. 

Your back hit the side of his desk and Nikolai was practically on top of you, seven years of lost love pouring through him all at once. 

“And if it wasn’t clear,” Nikolai murmured between kisses, “I never stopped loving you for one moment.” 

You groaned and pulled him even closer, your hands clenched tight around the fabric of his jacket. “You wear too many clothes.” 

“Then fix it.” His voice was sultry in your ear and you didn’t know how you went seven years without him. 

You were very thankful that he asked Tamar to leave. 

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lantsov angst #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fic #grishaverse x reader #sadie writes

[sundrop-writes]

Hey everyone! I'm Sundrop, but you can call me Sunny. I am a fanfic writer, and this is my fanfiction blog where I post all of my newest fics. Right now, my main fandom is The Walking Dead. If you want to know about the fandoms I'm interested in generally, check out my Main Masterlist. Requests are currently open. Please read my rules page before sending in a request. If you have a question about my fics or about my blog in general, it might be answered by my FAQ.

About me: I'm a 90s baby (I remember Blockbuster lmao), my pronouns are she/her (but I don't mind being called dude or other masc nicknames), I am autistic, bisexual, and polyamarous (and those things often heavily inspire my writing). I am chronically ill; I have POTS, EDS, and some of my fics may go behind schedule or may be cancelled due to flare-ups of my illness, just so you guys are aware.

All of my fics are subject to The Autism Clause. This means that I could randomly lose interest in a fandom, an idea, a WIP, or a series that I’m writing at any time. If something is victim to this Clause, it means that I will stop working on it before it’s finished, and I will likely never mention it again unless asked about it.

If you are curious about what happened to a fic that was planned or you want to know why I haven't updated in a while, definitely go over to @tenpintsof-sundrop to see updates about my personal life and my creative process and how that affects my fanfiction posts. This is not my main blog. This is just a blog I use for posting fics, so if you wanna know more about my interests and the progress of my fics, then definitely head over to my main.

Please do not follow me if you support using AI to generate fanfiction or fanart, or if you use c.ai. I have worked for many years to cultivate my writing talents and I think it is a huge insult to writers to do these things. If I find anything on your blog that is AI generated, I will block you.

I would highly recommend downloading the Interactive Fics Extension for Google Chrome - it turns every use of Y/N into a fanfic into your actual name, and it works very well with my fics to turn the reading into an immersive, personalized experience.

If you are looking for more of my older fics, then definitely check out my AO3 - which is the largest living catalogue of my fics in existence with over a million words on it. If you enjoy anything that I have posted here, you can go there to check out more of my work. However, please keep in mind that all of my work over there is archive locked to keep it out of the hands of AI scrapers and bots, so you will need an account to view it. And you need to make sure that you're logged into your account on all browsers before you click the link.

Most Recent Work: Careful - Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader (Series)

Currently Working On: The Jaws of Life (sequel to Emergency Contact)

Coming Soon:

Heaven’s Gate (for The Walking Dead) - Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader. Strangers to Lovers/Soulmates/Lovers Reunited. Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 1 to Season 5. 17k in counting. You can find a preview here. In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the Governor attacks the prison, and though you both believe the other person is dead (or long gone) you find each other at the most unlikely time, in the most unlikely place.

The Jaws of Life (for DC Titans) - Jason Todd x GN!Reader. Sequel to Emergency Contact. Lovers Reunited. Extreme Angst, Smut, Hurt and (some) Comfort. Set during Season 3. 21k in counting. In this fic, you and Jason struggle with the new meaning of your relationship after what happened with Deathstroke - only for this tentative change to be harshly disrupted by the Joker. And you’re still heavily mourning when a red hooded stranger breaks into your apartment one night, seeking medical care because apparently - you owe him one.

Nasty (for Stranger Things) - Sub!Eddie Munson x Dom!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. 3k in counting. In this fic, you and Eddie have been dating for a while, but you don’t like that all of his attempts to have sex with you have him taking on a (seemingly fake) dom persona. When you finally tell him that you prefer to be more dominant in bed, he isn’t disgusted like you thought he might be - he loves it.

#sundrop speaks #pinned post #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader

[saccharinescorpion]

Sorry OP, feel free to ignore this ask but I need more context. I watched a playthrough of the dlcs, and I'm now checking the wiki, and the reactions to your post really confuse me. Why are people talking about Carmine as if she's this awful person. People are talking about Carmine like she is constantly bullying and belittling her brother??? When she actually goes out of her way to try to not make him feel bad??? Which is really hard because Kieran has a lot of insecurities and it leads him to assume people want the worst for him???

Am I missing something? Is there a secret subtext of "Carmine is actually really mean to her brother behind our back and that's why he's Like That" I missed or are people just making stuff up?

lol, i think you've understood more than most people who've played the game

now, to be fair to those people: Carmine REALLY does have an attitude problem, as well as a terrible temper lol (but that's what makes her so entertaining!... in my opinion) and since Kieran is the character she interacts with the most that's who has to bear the worst of her bad traits, especially when he pushes back at her. in addition, Carmine is the older sibling, so i think we have a natural instinct to side with or at least feel sympathetic towards Kieran since we see him as the "weaker" party in the dynamic. their designs and animation only reinforce this- Carmine is tall and has a lot of aggressive body language and poses. meanwhile, Kieran is introduced peeking out from behind his sister, like he's literally hiding behind her. he's short, hides under his hair, has a lot of more drawn-in body language, he's a scrunky scrimblo wimbo meow meow wet little so on and so on

so, for the record, i think it is by at least some design that we are meant to "root" for Kieran, but i think that also ignores a lot of more subtle writing- "subtle," i say, but in my opinion, it's pretty obvious, lmao. Pokemon is a series for children. but yeah, the big one is that after time it becomes really apparent that a lot of Carmine's attitude is born out of deeper things- she's harsh and kind of controling towards Kieran in a misguided display of her protectiveness towards him, her hostility towards visitors to Kitakami is born of a worry of tourists turning their home into some sort of attraction

this is dipping into headcanon territory, but i think it's also a little subtextual that Carmine's overblown pride is her trying to overcompensate for what she inteprets as being looked down on or mocked. my big thing for this is the fact that Kieran speaks with a "Kitakami dialect" (based on real Japanese dialects associated with rural areas) but Carmine doesn't. (supposedly there's some random dialogue where she talks about this but i haven't seen it myself yet) since Carmine has been at the (ritzy, attended by a lot of students from important families) Academy longer than Kieran, i've always interpreted this as her trying to intentionally not be the kid from the sticks that talks in an "uncool" way

(incidentally i looked up 'Kieran dialect' and found someone else talking about this https://twitter.com/PokeSuutamie/status/1698625784775430234)

and finally- this may just me speaking from experience- but i always thought that a lot of Carmine and Kieran's issues clearly are really heightened by the fact they're teenagers? lol? puberty dials all your emotions up to 110% and smashes all delicacy with a sledgehammer. Carmine is TRYING to help Kieran but all of her feelings are constantly at a boil. and meanwhile, as you said, Kieran's self-esteem issues constantly lead him to project on other people and assume that everyone's mocking him or looking down at him, and i think that makes people forget that he has problems with being overdramatic and lashing out too (THIS IS NOT ME SAYING KIERAN IS A BAD CHARACTER DON'T YELL AT ME)

and for the record, as much as i love Carmine, i think that GF really dropped the ball on her reconcilliation with Kieran and her overall role in Indigo Disk, which may also be a factor in players being less sympathtic to her, but i already spent way too long on this and talking about my mixed feelings on Indigo Disk will probably double this post's length lol

in short, while i have some mixed feelings on Scarlet/Violet's overall story, i definitely can't say the character writing is bad. i think they're really making an effort to think about why each character acts the way they do and what they're actually thinking/trying to do. so i think we players should, in turn, approach them with the nuance they deserve

#pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon dlc #teal mask #indigo disk #kieran #carmine #kitakami siblings

[fonulyn]

how are things? and I was wondering if you've got a favorite fic that you wrote or if its just too hard to choose?

i've been down with a cold so things are kinda annoying but it seems to be getting better at least so maybe things are looking up :'D thanks for asking!

oh damn. it is hard to choose. and it also depends on my mood, and like... some are faves because they were fun to write, some because i like how the end result turned out, some bc friends liked them, and so forth. it depends on what kind of a favorite we're looking for :3

i scrolled through my RE fics and tried to pick only the top faves and still ended up with thirty fics :'D (and sorta sad bc so many of them were not crowd pleasers lmao)

but! shameless self-recs under the cut! (it got long lol sorry)

we didn't know how to fly so high (burned down before we reached the sky) (Chris/Leon) - this one's special because it's the first RE fic I wrote and it's what ended a three year dry spell of me not writing a single thing. it's also special because back then i could go "OH ONE NOTE!" and post the second chapter lol.

haunting in my head (tempting me, inviting me to fall asleep in its arms) (Piers/Leon) - since I picked the first one, I'm also gonna pick the latest one. this was the kind of an idea that plagued me until I got it written and i'm super pleased with how it worked out!

and it's kind of obligatory for me to mention the self-indulgent series, because for so long it was what kept me going and what kept me writing when nothing else worked. it might not be the best thing i've written but it's for sure what i've poured most love in.

tear me open (and make me whole again) (Piers/Leon, past Krauser/Leon) - from my whumptober fics this one i was the most excited about. i know it's got quite a bit of violence in it but like. i thought it hit all the right notes emotionally too, and i honestly wished it would've done better. i think it's worth it! am still happy with how it turned out.

(honorable mention to haunt you like it's part of you, another Piers/Leon and past Krauser/Leon, which is something i am really really into but apparently it's just me :'D but I really like the way the pairings clearly contrast each other tbh, i just think it's neat)

in the end it's you and I (Piers/Leon) - this is another whumptober fic I was super excited for! i'm beyond pleased with how it turned out and at least I feel all the right emotions while reading it.

all the things you are (Jake/Piers) - honestly I could've picked pretty much any of the Piers/Jake fic I've written because they were all really fun to write and their dynamic is super fun :'D I love the little bits in re6 where they interact bc they get on each other's nerves in all the right ways!

when it comes to metaltango, they're pretty much all close to my heart lol but can't help but follow in spite of going insane is something i regularly think back to and am still happy with how it turned out. same with the Krauser's back series, and question all my doubts, especially.

never too much to ask for (Piers/Leon) - this one is so very very important to me because LEON LEARNS TO BE LOVED. he learns to not only accept comfort but actually ASK FOR IT and it makes me emotional just to think about it 🥺

gonna show you tonight (Piers/Leon) - this one just makes me very happy.

and then there are the Piers/Leon ones where I've inserted Piers into a game/movie he isn't in, and honestly, those are ALL something I've had fun with and love the results! there's re2 with Piers, re4 with Piers, Damnation with Piers, and a combo of re4/Vendetta/og stuff with Piers! also the other re2 with Piers but that one only has one chapter for now so :'D

heal the scars and change the stars (Piers/Leon) - this one was based on a dream I had and I can still remember the exact vibe of the dream, and the way it haunted me afterwards, and I'm honestly really happy with the fic too. I have a thing for breaking up and getting back together it seems :'D

you're a dream (Piers/Leon) - this is something I've always always wanted to write, because soulmate aus are interesting but I've always gravitated towards imperfect soulmate systems, where it takes real effort to find them, and it's not so clear cut. and I honestly love how this turned out.

at the shore of the unknown (Piers/Leon) - another thing i always wanted to do was a soft apocalypse. this was supposed to be the first fic of a series, and the series is probably not happening, but i'm still content with the mood of this fic as is :3 i love these... slow empty worlds.

before I even knew your name (Piers/Leon) - THIS! this was SO MUCH FUN i don't know if I've ever had as much fun writing a fic :'D idk it was such a joy.

i crave therefore i am (Piers/Leon) - this fic however fought me every single step of the way, i wrote it like three times, and hated half of the process lmao, but i do love how it turned out. and the first scene is one of my all time favorite scenes i've ever written in my life.

to feel again (fwb!Chris/Leon at first, Piers/Leon eventually) - this was supposed to be a quick little oneshot but in the end it spiraled into something longer, and I do love it. like. the whole point of the Chris/Leon bit was that neither of them is the bad guy or wrong but they just weren't right for each other at that point in time, and then I enjoyed letting Leon build trust and a new relationship with Piers slowly at his own pace. 10/10 would write again :'D

last chance garage (ot3) - this one was very emotional to write and also got SO out of hand bc it was supposed to be like 1k max and in the end I wrote 8k lol. but it's my favorite ot3 fic.

winter lovin' (there's snow one like you) (Piers/Leon) - this one is super special to me because it happens in Finland :D they're vacationing on my home turf lol. but also because they're so in love, and they get to have fun and be together and. idk. the whole fic makes me all "🥺💖" like i literally turn into a physical embodiment of those two emojis. i love the fic.

stay until the end of life (Piers/Leon) - this one was also very emotional to write and I wanted to put them through a lot, and show how they really are in it for better and for worse. i wanted to show the struggles too, like... they love each other. they wanna be there for each other. but it's not always that easy. and I do think it worked out great.

three words to last forever (Piers/Leon) - I'm gonna end this way too long list with this because it's the first (and so far only) time I wrote a "choose your own ending" story and it was so much fun! I wish I could do a bigger story where you get to make multiple choices, but that would require some serious brainstorming lol. anyhow, I'm happy I got to do this! and happy with it turned out! especially the saddest ending :'D

now I'll shut up with my deepest apologies lmao.

#i know it's like 90% nivannedy #but what can i say #they've invaded my brain #there are other pairings in there too tho lol #anonymous #ask and i shall answer #me and my fics #re answers

[i984]

Signing off...

Hello! I want to start this post by telling you guys something really interesting...

Tl;dr: I'm taking a break for a month due to severe stress and performance anxiety, plus college and work is kicking me in the arse, but do send requests and prompts in because I need to write them FLUFF to get rid of the stress. Love ya!

So a month ago I stumbled upon a really amazing writer here on tumblr dearest, and I immediately fell in love with their work. It was so well written, and I couldn't comprehend the fact that it was the first ever story they've ever written and they wrote it under such circumstances that if I were to be put in their position, I can guarantee I wouldn't even be able to string a coherent sentence.

Anyway, that really got me thinking.

It's been two months since I first started writing, and revisiting old works of mine reveals something along the lines of "I'm not improving," and "I'm not creative."

It's been a problem I seem to notice, is that I struggle a lot with characterization (ESPECIALLY this) and pacing, among other things that makes me view my works mostly as blegh.

I know comparing is probably not the best way to develop, and I wouldn't say I'm envious of people's talents (because it's obvious some people are just so great at stuff lmao) but it's more like I'm disappointed in myself I guess(?)

In the collective 20 works that I've published over the two months, I still can't fully grasp what works and what doesn't with the Fandom, and I can't quite identify nor fix the problems in my writings. Combined with the burn out, this makes writing a very painful process for me even though I really want to enjoy it.

I rely very heavily on external validations and to see that in the midst of the dead Fandom (when compared to when it's at its peak), people can still garner almost 1k notes in the span of a week (and I can see why it's very well loved), posting here just makes me so stressed when I shouldn't even be.

It got so bad to the point I have trouble breathing every time I think about writing, and although now it doesn't happen as often, the performance anxiety is pretty much there.

Work, as well as college too has been a pretty great contributor for my stress and to put writing on top of that is just excruciating for me.

And that's why I'm taking a break!

It'll probably a month break like how I've stated in previous post, because it's become apparent I need rest LMAO

Thank you so much for the support you guys have shown and sent my way, I want to say that I really appreciate it! Honestly I wouldn't get this far without you guys, I love you so much!

I've set some reblogs for other creator's works while I'm gone, because I've been meaning to read but I just haven't found the opportunity for it. People here make such great works <3

If you guys have any requests, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO SEND THEM IN. I know this might feel contradictory but as I pointed out, I'm not really imaginative or creative, and I really want to write things, but most of the time I cant come up with anything or what I think is good isn't what you guys want (I know I still have a bunch of requests sitting around, but like I said I write when inspiration struck me).

So yes, send requests in so that I can do some writing during the break, and hopefully come back with a bunch of requests already done and ready to post!

Also, if you guys make it this far, I've got a surprise for you which is I'm finally trying to work on the series I've been planning to do since January HAHA! We'll have to see where it takes me but right now I have so much ideas running around in my brain and not enough waking hour in the day to develop and write it.

How do you guys feel about lord crime v.s. master detective trope BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ABOUT IT.

I'll see you guys when I do :) Love you! ❤

Special thanks to:

@missmonsters2 and @robiin-buckley for being the people who literally BURNS my heart with the desire and give me the courage to write, I wouldn’t be here without you 🥺💘

@ocyrus for being my first ever anon, I cannot stress how much I owe you <3

@tulipsbymybed for hyping me up when I first started and when I thought my work is a shitshow.

@vorsdanysstuff for being the first person to reblog my stuff and says some very very nice things about it and gave me more confidence to write, and also. For finding me and being the love of my life. I treasure you with my whole being.

@wol-fica for feeding me with cat pictures and being my lovely wife who misses me when I'm gone and makes picrews of us together, I love you so much 💓

@maryannecrimsworth for noticing my username and for loving my blogs questionable aesthetic, and for talking to me about dystopia and being my favorite lil bro!

@cursedchar for being the awkward mutual at first but now we spew chaos every where and every time we talk and interact. Honestly, you bring the wild side in me out to the world. Still hate your angsty stuff tho.

@tundra1029 FOR BEING THE ICON THAT GIVES GOOD ASS AMAZING PROMPTS and being a super lovely person and a great writer, I love you buddy <3

@alexkolax for well. You know me the most out of everyone in this site. My respect and trust for you is through the roof and cannot be expressed with mere words. Thank you for being here, Lex.

@ricosnumber1fan for being there in most of my works. I still think about you and scroll through your comments and reblogs. You're the best (second to sourdough tho).

@theflamboyantshadow for always leaving amazing comments under my posts, you are the sweetest person ever and I really wish you a great fucking life. Love you.

@iamnicodemus for writing that dragon Wednesday fic... and LEAVING THE MOST FLATTERING REBLOGS. ILYSM AND. you always make me smile when I think of you LMAO

@literally everybody else who've single handedly kept me alive and well on this site, I appreciate all your little asks, reblogs, comments, likes, and just UGH my heart aches for every single one of you.

Pray I return soon.

[writing-blocked-me]

Daffodil

Daffodil - Unrequited love

Number 3 of my flowers drabble/one-shot series

Requests still open for the flowers series! So feel free to shoot me an ask!I

Masterlist - Flowers Masterlist

Pairing: Fyodor x reader

CW: Manipulation, unrequited love, toxic relationship, sadness, angst, Fyodor and his prophet complex, dependency, toxic dependency, I'm not sure what else to write here, Fyodor being OOC, bad writing lmao

A/N: Hiii, back after another few weeks with a thrid addition to my flowers series (requests still open). Uni has been rough these past few weeks, plus writer's block hit me hard, so sorry for the inconsistent uploads. I am trying to get a writing schedule together, so hopefully I'll have , more regular posting soon and I'm gonna try to put out at least on post (even if it's just a drabble) once every week if I can. This time I tried a Fyodor x reader, but I'm still trying to get the feel of his character, so I'm not sure it's quite there yet...

enjoy :)

You had always loved him, ever since the day that he came into your life.  It was as if you had been in love with him your whole life, as if he had always been there, an ever-present being, a constant voice in your mind.  Fyodor Dostoyevsky was like a parasite, eating away at all your thoughts until he was the only thing left in your mind.  Not that you minded; you'd happily only think of him.

He had swept you off your feet, initially.  He'd charmed you with sweet gifts and what he called ‘proper courting’.  It made you feel special, worth something. He had always been special, with his grand plans and his strong faith.  When you were with him, it was as if you were important too.  He was God's servant on earth.  He was so exceptional, brilliant and gifted, cunning and smart, always a step ahead of seemingly everyone.  Being with him made you feel special too, by extension.  Belonging to him meant being a part of something extraordinary.  You liked feeling extraordinary.

You liked being his.  Being with Fyodor was unlike any other relationship you had ever had.  He was attentive at first, sweet and cautious, as if he thought you would run away.  After some time of reassuring him, making certain he knew you were his forever, he had started to let you in more.  He told you about his vision, his plans, God's plan, about ridding the world of sin.  He educated you, taught you what the world should be like, what his world looked like, his perfect picture of what could be.  You liked feeling included, feeling part of that perfect picture.  You liked listening to him, to his dreams.  You liked everything about him.  You loved him.

You still loved him now.  Nothing had changed, not even when his controlling nature had made itself more… apparent.  Not even when he started keeping you locked up, forcing you to suit his needs, to fit into his schedule, leaving you alone for hours, until he felt like speaking with you.  You still loved him.  The affection you had never wavering, never straying from him, despite all the signs, all the red flags begging you to see them.  But aren't all flags red when you're wearing rose-tinted glasses? That's what you told yourself, the justification you gave, because you loved him.  It was all a part of his plan, his vision, it was something special.  You were something special.  Under his gaze, you were something. Without him, you were barely there, a shadow of a person.  

Fyodor preferred you like this.  Dependent on him and desperate to be with him.  It was convenient to have such a willing partner, someone who would bend and break to be what he wanted.  Someone he could control.  Someone who loved him.  Someone who would believe every pretty little lie that fell from his mouth, every “I love you”, every “That's what makes you so special”, every single flowery piece of praise.  So very convenient.   He didn't have to love you, nor did he want to.  He did not love anyone.  He had to be loved, though, had to be adored in the way he saw fit.  He needed to be desired by someone who could slot into his perfect little world.  

It could have been anyone.  It just happened to be you. There was no special person, despite the way Fyodor made you feel.  He whispered words of praise, of being special, of being needed, and you clung to him, desperate to hear it again and again.  He made you desperate for his words, desperate for him.  He kept you that way.  Fyodor was good at that, manipulating others to get what he needed from them, using them as pawns in his game of chess, discarding them after they were no longer of use.  You were no different.  He entranced you with kind affections and over the top appreciation, drawing you in, feeding you bit by bit.  

After drawing you in, he gave praise sparingly, just enough to trap you.  It made you hungry for it, as if you would starve without his attention.  You would die without it.  It felt as though the two of you were attached by an invisible string, or more like an invisible leash, keeping you bound to him.  Still, your devotion never changed, never strayed from him.  

Even now, as the Russian rat ignored you entirely, carrying on with his work, you could not change your heart.  It would forever belong to him.  Despite being strung along, controlled, manipulated, and subjected to all manner of other things, your love for Fyodor did not change.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a parasite. He had corrupted you, taken over your mind, body and soul.  He was a disease that left you helpless.  He was your maker and your undoing.  He was the reason you were alone most of the time.  And yet, you could never bring yourself to be any less infatuated with the man.  Never would you ever imagine leaving him.  It was impossible.  It was a thought that simply did not exist.  You could not leave the man you loved, though it was so painfully obvious he did not feel for you the same as you felt for him.  Leaving was not an option.  There was no escape.  There was nowhere to run.

“Content” could be the word to describe it.  You were content.  The love you felt was all you needed. He need not love you back.  You were content for it to be a one-sided affection.  As long as you were there at all, you could be happy.  Fyodor Dostoyevsky was special, a man who was going to change the world, remake it anew.  He was God's servant on earth.  He was the love of your life.  As long as he permitted you to, you would happily remain at his side, answering his beck and call, adoring him in a way that would never be requited.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor x reader #fyodor bsd

[bookwyrminspiration]

lmao i looked it up and apparently theres some mlb special coming out, and the weird emo versions are like alternate universe evil versions of the main characters. anyway i propose the same for kotlc. i think it would be very funny if all of a sudden shannon started posting official art of alternate universe emo versions of the characters. keefe deserves the weird ass green hair that the cat guy had going on.

Oh my god their names are Shadybug and Claw Noir. The things that make their appearances "evil" are hilarious to me--colored hair, fingerless gloves, black lipstick. because by mlb logic then I am also evil. Sorry about that guys I need to start committing heinous supervillainy

Also, this is not the first time someone's suggested a Keefe/Chat Noir (or in this case, Claw Noir) comparison. But you're absolutely right we should take it further. We already have pink haired Fitz and red hair Sophie, I'm sure we can figure out other colors for everyone else to dye their hair. Voting purple Biana, personally.

Shannon may never start posting strange emo alternate universe kotlc character art, but! That has never stopped us before! Shannon is merely an accessory to this series it seems, we've taken it from here. We can post the evil emo versions of everyone. Wait Tam's already got the dark aesthetic (not emo, but the same style change wouldn't work for him). In this universe does he wear like. "normal" clothes. colors and light fabrics. i think that'd be hilarious

#mlb special #mlb spoilers #kotlc #quil's queries #camelspit #i have NOT kept up with mlb since I was like 12 or 13 what is happening over there #i thought they beat hawkmoth or something already. you're telling me there's MORE? #that was like the whole plot? #or wait. there was something about this being the first of many arcs right? #in which case. good fucking luck to the mlb fandom this show is going to go on for decades at this rate

[apoptoses]

Trying to escape all the Devil’s Minion hate I’ve seen around here and Twitter (apparently Armand never really loved Daniel, he’s only a footnote in his life, didn’t really have an impact on him or his character development, etc.) by coming to your blog and reading your asks. I truly have no idea how/when/how this influx of hate started (was it the sh*w? It was probably the sh*w) but I just want to tell you I’m so glad you’re around posting fantastic Devil’s Minion content constantly, keeping us fed. Dark times lie ahead and we need to remain strong 🤧

So there's a couple things at play, but first off-

We have like 50 pages of them together in total through all the books. Everyone has different reads on characters/events, people are free to interpret stuff how they want.

However there is a strange and very vocal handful of people who seem to have an agenda to push about Armand and Daniel in specific. I don't know why, I don't know what kind of projection is going on, but they like to insist that Daniel secretly hates Armand and Armand was actually an abusive demon 24/7 and there was never any love between them.

Which if that was just their personal read, whatever. But they run around insisting that this is canon, this is fact, this is what Anne intended and anyone who thinks to the contrary is wrong and needs their ass jumped.

But that's just like, their opinion, man. Nobody has to listen to these people. They are not experts on the secret intentions of Anne Rice. They do not have any info which you, anon, would not also have access to.

The facts are that Armand said he loved Daniel, Daniel said he loved Armand, Daniel begged for eternity with Armand. In the end of the series he went hunting with Armand and moved back in at Trinity Gate. They had fights over the blood when Daniel was mortal and Daniel resented Armand at times for not making him a vampire (but wanted to become a vampire in the end to be with him). Daniel was highly concerned as to whether Armand liked him as a vampire, and Armand said he loved the way he turned out and looked upon him with lust. Anne herself said that Armand was a good person with Daniel, and that she loved his affair with Daniel and it was all about exploration. Everything else is just someone's personal read.

Also, twitter is a cesspit and brings out the worst people lol Don't go there for good takes, you will find nothing but anger and brain rot.

Could it possibly be the show? I don't watch it so I don't really know. I know that the producer seems to be setting up an old school love triangle which is probably going to pit Armand against Lestat, and Daniel against Louis. But idk I have no further relevant knowledge there.

But again, the show is so different from the books. If you don't like the show you're not obligated to listen to or interact with its fans, and if you like the show but don't like the books, vice versa. Nobody needs to be sending hate and insisting that people agree with their personal meta or else they're a bad person. These are fictional characters lmao

But thanks, anon. I am always here to bang the gong of "these two love each other" and create romantic content for them. You're safe here ♥

#apoptoses answers #armand/daniel #devil's minion

[glitchadeli]

So.. I have a long story about this; (please read for context!) I used to be friends with this kid in elementary school, they were my best friend and we hung out all the time!! Something we bonded over was Pokémon and as a kid. My first game was Soul Silver which yeah is pretty late into the 'series' of Pokemon but it's whatever, that was my first game, don't judge. Anyway, I was kinda (very) dumb and just eventually got rid of my Pokémon stuff. Idk why I ever did shit like that (I regret it so much) and I have really bad memory so like.. I had no idea what I did with any of my games. Well, remember that friend I mentioned? We reconnected a few months ago after almost 10 years of not talking (because we moved when I was about 11 and.. being 11 year old's we didn't have a way to keep contact lmao. I tried looking for them over Facebook for YEARS with no luck, but a few months ago I had randomly found their profile and messaged them.) When we reconnected, we called on discord and they were talking about Pokémon and they said "Oh dude, by the way I still have your soul silver game that you gave me" and I was like "... wait what?" and.. yeah!! Apparently I had given them my soul silver as a kid (I guess that was my 'getting out of Pokémon phase', like I said, I was dumb..) and I was just in pure disbelief. And they said if I wanted, I could have the game back so today (yesterday since I'm posting this at like 4 am) I hung out with them and they handed it to me. My *original* copy of Soul Silver. The copy I played as an 8 year old.. (or 9 year old idk, bad memory) I can't tell you what it means to have my original cartridge. Sadly my save file isn't there since when I gave it to them in childhood, they restarted it.. but that's okay, the fact I have THE VERY COPY I had as a kid, still means the world to me. Like.. I just.. yeah I could've re-bought the game over the years but.. having the exact one I had as a kid.. it means more than I can ever express. I'm so fuckin' excited to play this game you don't understand. I will post updates as I play, (I plan to shiny hunt Lugia >:3 ) I'm sorry that it's not TAWoG, but my Pokemon-loving heart is so happy!! 😭💕💕 Anyways, the drawing I included because I had decided to draw myself with my 'team' so far!! (Yes I made my trainer a male, named Glitch :> hehe) So far I have Sakura the Chikorita, Pudge the Pidgey and Moegi the Bellsprout, and of course the egg that I'm working on hatching!! (Tbh Moegi is only being used for HM's so she won't be staying for long lmao, sorry sprout!) I'm definitely gonna draw more Pokemon stuff because I've wanted too for so long but I get shy with it for some reason? Well not anymore. I'm not making this a daily thing, that'd be too much, but I'll definitely do more drawings throughout my journey!! ^^ I hope you guys are good with seeing Pokemon, don't get me wrong I still love TAWoG and will still be posting about it, but I'm deep in a Pokemon fixation right now so.... Be prepared :P I've played the game more and I have more team members but I'll draw that eventually hhgghh but ye!!! I know this is mostly a TAWoG blog but.. I will post other things on here as well ^^''

#pokémon #pokemon soulsilver #pokemon art #pokemon trainer sona #pokemon soul silver AU I guess? #Lugia #pokemon lugia #heartgold soulsilver #my childhood game is finally back in my possession and I'm never letting it go #I've missed this game so fuckin much #I'm so happy about this you don't understand #childhood me is at peace

[markantonys]

AMOL prologue-chapter 8 (note that i mention in this post a huge spoiler from the end of the book that i’m not supposed to know yet but do and i’ve put a warning in that bullet point, although i’m pretty sure 90% of my audience is people who’ve already read the whole series anyway jkfg)

some guy called isam is apparently in a jekyll-and-hyde situation with luc??? what is going on here on this day???? he’s in some creepy town and talking about stuff called Talentless and samma n’sei. to all of this, i say: NO! it is the last goddamn book, and i do NOT want to receive any new information unless it’s about how rand will be able to defeat the dark one and survive the last battle! and i CERTAINLY do not want to be introduced to any new characters, cultures, or lore! i am handing sanderson/rj’s notes a flowchart that reads: is this stuff vital information? if yes, you should’ve established it in an earlier book! if no, throw it in the trash and put me back into the actual important plotlines!

i do love how perrin is the most boring and useless of the main protagonists and his Archnemesis is the most boring and useless of the main antagonists (if slayer can even be considered a main antagonist, which i don’t think he can be). match made in heaven.

“my people live with a grave misconception of the world, bayle. in doing so, they create injustice.” good for egeanin, but why THE FUCK did this arc go to her and not tuon. MINDBOGGLING.

“something had to be done. and yet, in doing it, did she risk causing the entire empire to collapse?” unfortunately egeanin’s still on her “i’ll always be seanchan, must preserve the empire” bullshit for the moment but at least she’s made SOME real and good progress, unlike TUON.

“honestly, the way you lot [sleete and other warders] have been hovering over me lately makes me think of a mother bird who has lost an egg.” “lan is important to many of us, nynaeve sedai.” omg 🥺🥺 one of the books’ only glimpses at Warders As Community, i love it!

nynaeve rips egeanin a new one for letting the seanchan get the male a’dam and says she’s taking her to the amyrlin, and egeanin decides that she’s now da’covale to the amyrlin. the seanchan woman who will help egwene maybe??? i did predict it would be either egeanin or tuon since they’re the only 2 important seanchan women.

talmanes is going to die from a poisoned wound. oh no! anyway.

jkfjg i’m gonna say it.............talmanes was massively overhyped! i don’t dislike him at all, he’s fine and has had a couple fun moments, but i do not understand why people love him so much. i saw his name eeeeeeverywhere before i started the books! and then i kept going “maybe this will be the book when talmanes becomes my beloved” and it never happened. maybe THIS will finally be the book when talmanes becomes my beloved, but also my Becoming My Beloved doors closed around book 5 or 6 so i doubt it. i also don’t understand why people ship him with mat - it’s a perfectly fine ship that i have no issue with, it’s simply that every time the two of them interact i get such strong Heterosexual Bros vibes lmao in my eyes that dynamic is just so devoid of homoeroticism compared to mat and rand, for example (and rand and every male forsaken, for another example). they just remind me of the dril tweet “me n the boys eating messy sandwiches sneaking around with big binoculars looking for girls and letting every one know who runs this tj maxx”

actually maybe i do have a little issue with the ship, and it is that in some ways it takes the place of cauthor in mat’s life and does a worse/less compelling job of filling that role (as is the case with countless “brand new side character coming in after the first 5/6 books to fill a role that used to belong to main character and do a worse job” situations), and that makes me bitter.

aww aviendha’s in a sweat tent and misses wetlander baths! she is going to thrive in the avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in caemlyn endgame! even if it SHOULD only be two (2) babies since the quadruplets are cursed.

"why would the columns show a despair that cannot change? no. i refuse to believe it. rhuidean has always shown us what we needed to see. to help us, not destroy us. this vision must have a purpose as well.” bair giving me some much-needed hope!!!

“‘the car’a’carn has a...fondness for dramatic presentations,’ bair said, her tone itself fond. ‘he’s like a crockobur who has toiled all night making a nest so that he can sing of it in the morning to all who will listen.’” WHY IS THIS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING I’VE EVER READ 😭 let rand be a stay-at-home papa bird and spend his time making nests and singing about them to all who will listen 2k22! also it’s throwing me back to egwene’s TSR line about “a boy with a lamb nestled inside his coat, proud as a rooster because he had driven off the wolf that tried to take it” which gave me insane emotional damage that to this day i have not recovered from.

okay, so now aviendha is ALSO at merrilor and both rand/avi AND rand/elayne have not bothered to go say hello to each other yet! i mean i guess avi had to talk to the wise ones urgently about rhuidean, but still!! she could’ve spared 5 seconds for kissing rand (and elayne)! he could’ve burst into the sweat tent to be like “hey i just sensed that my girlfriend whom i haven’t talked to in ages is in here”!

“‘her task was not just to teach him,’ amys said. ‘what i wouldn’t give to know that he was safely under the watchful eyes of a good woman.’ she looked at aviendha, face laden with meaning.” amys really said fuck min huh jkjdfg i’m howling!!!!

amys, after an entire month+ in arad doman watching min be plastered to rand’s side and sleep in his room every night: boy i sure wish rand had a good girlfriend min: um amys: is someone speaking?

it’s honestly crazy (and hilarious) how COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT min/rand is to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER except the two of them and cadsuane. there are SO many people who have SEEN them together and KNOW they’re dating but STILL assume that rand/avi or rand/elayne is the relationship that matters. as they should! crazy and hilarious but also frustrating, since it proves time and time again how totally narratively unnecessary romantic min/rand was. they could’ve remained platonic friends and nothing about the story would be different, except for the many things that would be better!

“‘he will be mine,’ aviendha said, firmly. but not for you, amys, or for our people. she was shocked at the strength of that sentiment within her. she was aiel. her people meant everything to her. but this choice was not their choice. this choice was hers.” ❤️❤️❤️ we LOVE the contrast with min always complaining that loving rand was the pattern’s choice rather than her own (which eventually is intended to be romantic in a “fate itself wanted us together we couldn’t have resisted if we’d tried” sort of way, but i for one have always been firmly in the “the inherent romance of love being a choice” camp).

also, it’s so bizarre how common a take “rand/elayne and rand/aviendha only happened because the pattern made them both be into rand because he needed political things from them in order to defeat the dark one, while rand/min is the genuine relationship that would’ve happened on its own anyway” when “the pattern (slash prophetic knowledge thereof) forced it and they never would have looked twice at each other otherwise” is literally genuinely EXACTLY what happened with rand/min, while elayne and avi both fell for rand naturally rather than forcing feelings Because Fate Said So as min did. and rand is very much attracted to both elayne and avi before they show interest in him, whereas min’s just kind of an “oh, and min” afterthought way waaaaaaay in the back of his mind until she’s literally sitting in his lap kissing him and making him go “huh maybe i do want to kiss her” like he never would’ve had anything more than a subconscious fleeting interest in her if she hadn’t pursued him so aggressively, and she wouldn’t have pursued him if she hadn’t had a viewing that they would fall in love someday. whereas randlayne and avirand happened 100% organically on both sides! but sure, those are the two that the pattern forced and min/rand is the organic one.

haha the audiobook said “[kymer’s] uncle han” but when i went to the print book to type up my quotes i saw it says “her sister-father han” fascinating! the book i have does appear to be the original first publication hardcover version, so maybe that was a last-minute edit after they’d already given the book over to the audiobook narrators to record.

bair advises avi to change the names of one of her kids (from the names that she learned in the vision) in hopes that that will help avert the bad future. or she could just NOT GET PREGNANT WITH THE KIDS AT ALL, BAIR like oh my god this is such an obvious solution! i’d be totally fine if they brought it up but dismissed it as infeasible/undesirable for whatever reason (maybe they point out that heartleaf tea isn’t 100% effective, or maybe aviendha really wants to have kids and isn’t willing to make that sacrifice, though given her characterization i would find that hard to believe), but it’s just so weird to not even ADDRESS this completely obvious thing that they could EASILY control in order to prevent those future visions from coming to pass. again, it would’ve been a MUCH different situation if aviendha was already pregnant when she saw the visions. but of course, that would’ve required rand to speak more than 2 words to her between LOC-AMOL which was obviously impossible to achieve 🙄 like, they could’ve fucked in arad doman and then avi finds out she’s pregnant immediately after she sees the visions and is like “oh shit that future’s already happening” that would’ve been very emotional!

also it’s wack (wack narratively speaking, that is - ofc these things do happen irl and in-world it could simply be that min’s always drinking heartleaf tea and elayne and avi didn’t) that rand knocks up elayne after 1 time having sex with her and avi after 2 times (i assume, as they fuck for the second time later in this chapter chunk), yet he’s fucking min constantly and she never gets pregnant. really does lend weight to @butterflydm’s depressing theory that rj (whether consciously or not) wanted rand’s live-in sex-providing girlfriend to ~maintain her figure~ and be super hot and unencumbered by negative pregnancy side effects and thus available for sex at all times while the 2 sidepieces he never sees are given the job of being his baby machines.

it turns out that the weird stuff going on at the black tower is channelers being forcibly turned to the shadow by that 13 channeler-and-fade combination (or whatever the combo is, it said it somewhere in androl’s section but i already forget and don’t care enough to skim through it again looking for the sentence). huh i forgot that that was a thing. back in TGH i thought that channelers being forcibly turned to the shadow was gonna be a much bigger problem than it ended up being lmao i don’t envy sanderson having to at the eleventh hour bring back and wrap up all these plot threads that rj forgot about/ignored for 10 books and annoying the reader (or THIS reader anyway) by getting into whole new sideplots on the eve of the last battle.

also forgot moghedien is still alive. she’s been horribly punished for her failures, as has lanfear, as has graendal (who was resurrected into a super ugly body). female villains getting endlessly tortured while male villains get a nice clean death is so real.

“demandred wants only one thing. al’thor.” demandred that’s gay. and also relatable.

my man demandred shows up to the meeting, hello king! maybe we’ll see you for more than 5 pages in this book.

moghedien’s all “graendal’s only weapon was her looks so now that she’s ugly she’ll be helpless” this is exactly what graendal, who is secretly the biggest brained forsaken, wanted the others to think! i’m sure a bad bitch won’t let this ugly new body stop her.

taim is made a forsaken, whoa didn’t know you could do that! so now there’s 5 left: taim, moridin, demandred, moghedien, and graendal.

if taim was gonna become a forsaken anyway, why the fuck couldn’t he have just been demandred?? what has demandred been doing this whole time that he couldn’t have been taim? we need to condense some plotlines and characters here, people! on the other hand, demandred is sexy and taim is not sexy so i wouldn’t want them to be the same person. can’t explain that any further, it’s just their respective vibes.

“‘just remember my requirement: i face al’thor on the field of battle. his blood is mine, and no one else’s.’ ...you will have competition with [taim], demandred, moghedien thought. he wants al’thor nearly as much as you do.” everyone wants rand carnally!!!! “demandred had been changing lately. once, he wouldn’t have cared who killed lews therin - so long as the man died. what made demandred insist on doing the deed himself?” he wants to fuck rand so bad it makes him look stupid. also, moghedien, you don’t have any room to judge other people’s antagonistic homoerotic obsessions jkjfg

moridin says that this is the end, so “if you have plots, bring them to completion” a nice little bit of fourth wall breaking lmao

and i have finished my last WOT prologue ever thank fuck!!

rand and perrin are in rand’s tent together catching up and laughing awww! but where the fuck is mat!!!!

rand is spying on elayne and suspects that she’s also spying on him. he hears that elayne has been wakened late at night, suspects she’s receiving urgent news, and............sends spies to find out what it is instead of just going to ask her himself??? what the fuck???? what is this absolute batshit insanity????? that is your GIRLFRIEND rand???? to whom you’re literally soulbonded???? why the fuck are you guys spying on each other rather than going to ask each other what your plans are????? i can’t. i can’t!!!!

“‘she’ll have someone [spying on us], balwer,’ rand said with a smile. ‘she all but taught me how to do this, after all.’” okay that IS cute. but it still makes no sense that they would go to all the effort of setting up spies in each other’s camps instead of just talking to each other!!!! i love a sexy machiavellian relationship of two political powerhouse partners spying on and mistrusting each other as much as the next person, but that has never been the vibe of *rand and elayne’s* relationship.

rand has finally found out about the babies............OFFSCREEN and seemingly from hearsay rather than from elayne or one of his friends, what the fuck!!! why couldn’t we see the moment of him finding out! why the hell did elayne not find him immediately at merrilor to tell him! why the everloving FUCK did rand not find HER immediately to talk to her when he heard the news through the grapevine! more absolute batshit insanity. a few pages in and the amount of suspension of disbelief being asked of me vis-a-vis randlayne’s relationship is already cracking my skull in half.

“pregnant. pregnant with his children. light! he had only just learned of it. why hadn’t she been the one to tell him?” i don’t know maybe because you DIPPED ON HER WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING AND NEVER BOTHERED TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH HER OR TRAVEL BACK TO SEE HER DESPITE AN ABUNDANCE OF OPPORTUNITIES TO DO SO, RAND. at least he does go on to acknowledge “he hadn’t exactly made himself easy to find” so okay. but he also thinks that she wouldn’t have told him because she would’ve felt his emotions while he was in The Bad Place and “wouldn’t have wanted to confront him with a pregnancy when he’d been in such a state” which is a) absolutely not true, elayne never once had a thought along those lines and b) totally unfair to elayne, to say that while rand’s in a bad state she would consider being his partner and fellow parent of their kids Too Hard and would just opt not to tell him. avoiding rand when being his partner gets hard is a min move, not an elayne move.

“still, it was a shock. i’m going to be a father, he thought, not for the first time. yes, lews therin had had children, and rand could remember them and his love for them. it wasn’t the same. he, rand al’thor, would be a father. assuming he won the last battle.” baby boy!!!! and these are the only thoughts we get from rand on the subject for now, smh i’ve been waiting for BOOKS for him to find out about the babies, i need more reaction and emotions than this!!! i expect nothing and i’m still let down!!!

sidenote: since the show’s beefed up dad!rand (and dad!LTT judging by the fact that his first and thus far only scene showcased him as a dad rather than as a husband) i hope they’ll dwell more on the tragedy of LTT killing his own kids instead of solely ilyena, as it is in the books.

"i [perrin] have people close to elayne. people who keep watch on things for me.” “let’s go talk to them. i have a great deal to do tonight, but...yes, i can’t let this slip.” RAND??? JUST GO???? TALK TO ELAYNE DIRECTLY??????? jesus christ i’m having a fucking aneurysm over this djfgkj IT’S ABSOLUTE BATSHIT INSANITY!!!!!

when gawyn tells elayne that she needs rest: “thank you very much for the advice, which i will ignore, as i ignored birgitte when she said the same thing.” JSKDFJG GO OFF!!! absolute icon. Good For Her.jpg

now elayne is once again arguing that they should let rand break the seals, which is what she said when egwene first shared the news but then in her povs in the second half of TOM she was thinking that it was crazy and they couldn’t let rand do something so stupid. make up your mind, sanderson!

when egwene refers to “one of rand’s crackbrained schemes”: “elayne smiled fondly. light, but she was smitten.” (this is egwene pov calling her smitten not elayne calling herself smitten lmao) and then later “‘he has a fair bit of gleeman in him,’ elayne said, again fondly.” matrandlayne is the ideal throuple because they all adore crackbrained schemes and gleeman-like dramatic showmanship! and avi is the ideal fourth polycule member because she can kick some sense and dignity into them.

guybon brings news to elayne of the attack on caemlyn and when she praises him for his actions, he says “give your reward to the men of the band, your majesty. it was their work.” yeah now i AM retroactively glad that mat and the band weren’t involved in elayne claiming the throne in canon (tho i adore it in fics) because it would’ve turned into this same sort of “mat/talmanes and the band being the heroes of the day and getting all the credit” lmao

“‘here, let us link. i’ll lend you my strength.’ nynaeve looked shocked. ‘mother?’ ‘you are better at healing than i.’ egwene smiled. ‘i may be amyrlin, nynaeve, but i am still aes sedai. servant of all.’” ❤️❤️ egwene is The Best, Truest Aes Sedai, and The Best, Truest Amyrlin. she embodies everything they are supposed to be, as opposed to cadsuane who embodies everything that's wrong/broken with the system. i sure am glad that it’s egwene and not cadsuane who’s amyrlin. i SURE AM glad. sob.

perrin says that in blacksmith-ing if something shatters it’s better to start again than try to fix it, and rand uses the same thing to talk about the seals. “rand, that’s the most reasonable thing anyone has said on this topic. have you explained it that way to egwene?” “she’s not a blacksmith, my friend.” “she’s smart, rand. smarter than either of us. she’ll understand if you explain it the right way.” thank you perrin!!!!! this whole time rand’s been like “ugh why won’t egwene see REASON” it’s because you literally didn’t explain shit to her, you just showed up at the tower and said “i’m gonna break the seals, see you in a month” and left again immediately.

rand learns about caemlyn and once again, bafflingly, talks to perrin about how they can’t let elayne leave rather than going to talk to elayne herself

“rand could feel [elayne], of course, through the bond. her spike of alarm let him know that she’d received this information. should he go to her? perhaps he could send min.” ??????????????????????????? you just learned that your girlfriend’s HOME has FALLEN TO TROLLOCS and you think of sending your other girlfriend to go talk to her in your place because you’re too busy to check on her and see if she’s okay or needs anything?????? i hate to say it but Deadbeat Dad Rand IS becoming tragically real, christ

and rand now suddenly feels avi arrive at merrilor, so this must take place slightly before avi’s prologue scene. i can report that he, of course, has no thought of going to find her and say hello or anything.

“the attack might unnerve elayne, make her more eager to act. perhaps this will make her more vulnerable to agreeing with my plan. this could be a good thing.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK RAND!!!! why is randlayne being done so FILTHILY in this chapter!!!! at least perrin frowns at this statement and rand thinks “how quickly i’ve learned to use others” so at least he’s being narratively called out for being a shithead here, BUT STILL this is crazy. genuinely from this chapter alone, bar the lines explicitly stating that elayne is pregnant with rand’s babies, i would have no idea that he cares about her at ALL let alone that she’s his COMMITTED SOULBONDED GIRLFRIEND i hate it here!!! my sole consolation is that min has been asleep offscreen the whole chapter and rand’s had no significant thoughts about her, so at least i don’t have to have min/rand rubbed in my face while randlayne is dragged through the mud.

rand also says “i thought she had that thing guarded!” about the caemlyn waygate, so not only is he a) not bothering to see if elayne’s okay after her home was attacked and b) thinking that her being upset and vulnerable over this could be a good thing for his plans, he is now c) blaming her for the attack happening.

“of all those to turn to the shadow, demandred’s betrayal seemed the most tragic. the man could have been a hero. should have been a hero. i’m to blame for that, too, rand thought. if i’d offered a hand instead of a smirk, if i’d congratulated instead of competed. if i’d been the man then that i am now...” oh.............OH! that is some good good tragic doomed lovers to enemies shit!!! (but also, what sort of man ARE you now, rand? the kind who doesn’t bother to find his partner to say hello and talk about their babies after not having seen her in months and not having known she was pregnant until just now? the kind who doesn’t spare a single thought for how his partner must feel about tragic news from her home except to think that it would be super helpful to him if she were vulnerable about it?)

okay rand FINALLY thinks that he’s going to send to elayne and also send help to evacuate the city, fucking finally, rand! but he’s still just Sending To her rather than sending HIMSELF to her, of course.

moving on from bullying rand (for the moment). 2 chapters in and this is already my mood:

IT’S THE LAST DAMN BOOK!!! STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH RANDOS I DON’T CARE ABOUT!!!!!! you guys know very well how much i’ve always hated side character plotlines, so you can imagine how enraged i am about this kjfg like man, call me rand because the amount i DO NOT CARE about what’s happening at the black tower is ASTRONOMICAL (okay maybe i’m not done bullying rand)

thankfully, next we get avilayne reunion!!! 🥰🥰

as soon as aviendha hears about the attack on caemlyn she goes right to find elayne to talk to her about it. rand take notes.

“[elayne] looked very much in control, very strong, her red-gold hair practically glowing in the lamplight...aviendha was pleased to se the fire in her first-sister’s eyes.” proud and awestruck wife aviendha!!! convenient source of light that makes elayne’s hair glow!!! also, reminds me of the matlayne reunion when mat was describing how radiant elayne looked and how her hair glowed in the firelight. this is elayne’s harem, we’re all just living in it!

then when elayne insists to the lords upon the hard but necessary course of not trying to retake caemlyn: “her face was a mask, her voice as cold as good steel.” rand parallels!! insert my usual ranting about how we were robbed of rand and elayne dealing with the burdens of leadership etc together.

aviendha thinks that elayne always knows “the most interesting curses” aviendha is the little spiderman to elayne’s medium spiderman to mat’s big spiderman when it comes to swearing jkfjg my loves! that’s what a polycule should be all about.

as SOON as she realizes avi is there, elayne sends every single person out of the tent to leave the two of them in private. so that she can kiss her wife!

“i’ve reached the point in my pregnancy where i can channel again reliably” that seems like awfully convenient timing for the last battle lmao was it mentioned initially that channeling would be reliable again in the second trimester? i think i remember monaelle saying it would just get worse and worse as the pregnancy progressed. overall this was just a totally useless thing that didn’t end up affecting the plot in any significant way - there were many times when drama and danger could have been heightened by elayne finding herself unable to grasp the source, but they were never taken and the source was always there when she TRULY needed it.

elayne receives a LETTER from rand rather than rand just walking 10 feet into her camp to talk to her in person, christ almighty. “he insists that i return to caemlyn to see to my people...light, this is clever. he’s obviously trying to bully me into staying. there’s a touch of daes dae’mar in this.” “you seem proud. yet i gather this letter is only one step away from being insulting!” “i am proud. and angry at him. but proud because he knew to make me angry like that. light! we’ll make a king out of you yet, rand.” again, this is cute and funny on the one hand but on the other hand is the sort of Machiavellian Relationship that does not fit with randlayne’s established vibes.

“a fire still burned behind those eyes of hers. elayne was a warrior, as true a one as aviendha had ever known.” ❤️❤️

avi asks elayne for permission to fuck rand tonight since they may not get another chance. elayne gives it and asks if avi’s spent time with min, to which avi replies “not enough, and under other circumstances i would remedy that lack immediately. there is no time...i do think she feels better about me. she did me a great honor in helping me understand the last step to becoming a wise one. it may be appropriate to bend some of the customs.” ugh it’s always been so annoying how min just.......gets to be an exception to the first-sister thing. aviendha was so staunch that she couldn’t be with rand until she and elayne were first-sisters, yet min is basically a STRANGER to her, and a stranger who has demonstrably no interest in learning about or respecting aiel ways let alone participating in them, or even in sharing rand with the two of them at all, but gets to have avi going “eh it’s fine we can make an exception.” min hasn’t earned that!!! and her “great honor” of helping avi with the wise ones was a complete accident lmao all she did was embarrass avi so much by asking why she was doing pointless punishments (which she would’ve known was a shaming question if she’d had any interest in learning about aiel ways) that avi snapped at the wise ones. min had no intention of helping her and never even realized that she did help her!

for real, elayne broke her goddamn back to make this whole polycule work and gets 0 time with rand, while min didn’t put in an ounce of effort (and actively dislikes that she has to let elayne and avi take part in the relationship) and gets to be with him all by herself for over half the series.

it’s very hard to think about the concept of min being likable to me when i’ve been so deep in the trenches of book!min sucking for so long now, but if i try to think objectively then there are some very easy fixes the show can make. 1) don’t make her change her style and personality for rand (and it’s 100% guaranteed the show will indeed not do this, seeing as it’s 2022 and nobody in their right mind would think that shit is acceptable), 2) make her eventual giving in to falling in love with rand feel natural and as a result of getting to know and like him as a person rather than just a random decision she makes while miles away from him Because Fate Said So, 3) get rid of the whole “hunting rand down and seducing him into a relationship” grossness that characterized TFOH and LOC, 4) get rid of her reluctance to share him and make her equally as on board with a poly relationship as elayne and avi are, 5) make her actually spend time with elayne and especially avi and form meaningful relationships with them. and possibly 6) don’t give her such a disproportionately large amount of exclusive screentime with rand while avi and elayne get shafted, but this would not bother me AS much if fixes 4 and 5 had been made, because it COULD actually feel wholesome, like min taking care of rand on elayne and avi’s behalfs while they aren’t able to be with him (and how wonderful would it be if min and rand actually TALKED about elayne and avi during this time, and did so fondly and lovingly!), rather than like she’s trying to hog him all to herself and prove that she’s his One Real Partner.

me: it’s so easy to fix min [gives a whole list of fixes that require completely overhauling her character and relationship with rand]

anyway, elayne and avi plan to talk to min before sending avi to fuck rand, and we later find out that they did so offscreen. just like with the convo about the decision to bond him, we don’t get to actually see the 3 of them sitting down together and talking about rand and their shared feelings for and relationships with him. it’s so weird!! such a wasted opportunity!! i don’t fucking care about androl and pevara, can i please see elayne, avi, and min having a scene all together for ONCE???

once again so so so so grateful for rafe’s commitment to interpersonal relationships in the show, this shit would NEVER happen there! nor would any of the Randlayne Batshit Insanity i’ve been complaining about in this post.

i have read 13 books. i have slogged through thousands of pages and read or listened to every single word, even if i wasn’t always paying super close attention. but androl and pevara’s plotline has for the first time made me resort to skipping scenes and reading summaries instead. no regrets! congratulations, androl and pevara, you’ve finally broken me when not even perrin’s plotlines could. i’m not going to read a single one of their scenes for the rest of the book, i’ve decided. i just want to be done with this series jkdjfg not that i haven’t enjoyed reading it (during certain books and plotlines, anyway), but good god i just want to be done.

“it was still hard to get used to the idea of tam being there, just one camp over. rand had dined with him earlier. it had been awkward, but no more so than expected for a king inviting his father from a rural village to ‘dine.’ they had laughed about it, which had made him feel much better.” 🥺

but also, i see how it is, rand has the time to invite tam over for dinner and perrin over to hang out from a different camp, but not elayne or aviendha 😤 what a perfect opportunity to introduce his dad to his other two girlfriends that he’s just not taking. i bet MIN was invited to family dinner.

avi arrives to see rand thank god!! but his reaction is so baffling. “how have i taken you from [the maidens]?” he says as if he does not know full well that they got into a committed relationship in WH. “light. she was beautiful. but so was elayne...and so was min...and...he was a fool. a light-blinded fool. ‘aviendha,’ he said. ‘i love you, i truly do. but that’s a problem, burn it! i love all three of you. i don’t think i could accept this and choose-’” like literally what the FUCK is happening???? rand!!! do you not remember the ENTIRE CONVERSATION the four of you had where you said you loved all of them and felt bad about it, and they reassured you that they all loved you and were happy to share you, and then they all bonded you as their warder and avi and min gave their blessing for you to fuck elayne?? what the fuck is happening right now!!!! that WH scene truly had ZERO impact on rand and it’s so absolutely absurd. this is beyond asking me to suspend disbelief, it’s straight up trying to gaslight me into thinking that that WH scene never happened!

but the good news is that “she was beautiful, but so was elayne, and so was min, and..................” gives me room to interpret that he’s subconsciously thinking “and so is mat” jdkfjg

also, interesting that rand is fretting that sleeping with avi now would be A Decision when he’s been sleeping with min for months...............implying perhaps that min has always been just sex to him and not A Decision about which of the three he loves 👀

“‘we are first-sisters, rand al’thor, elayne and i. when we get to know her better, min will join us. we three will share in all things.’ first-sisters? he should have suspected, following that odd bonding. he raised a hand to his head. we will share you, they had said to him.” WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK THAT CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT, RAND???? JESUS CHRIST currently saying with my whole chest that every time WOT women complain about men being stupid and unobservant is 100% justified. jesus christ.

for my own sanity, i must assume that this is all a result of sanderson Just Not Getting the polycule or at least avirand specifically (since their relationship is by far the worst in terms of “suddenly experienced a total reset in TGS and acted like WH never happened”) and that it would’ve been much different if rj had written it. i don’t like to lean on “this would’ve been better if rj had written it” too much because most of the time the things i’m annoyed about are things he’d already established that sanderson had to run with and claiming that it’s a Sanderson Problem is just using him as a scapegoat for rj’s own bad storytelling decisions, but in this instance i do think it’s true. even as little as avirand and randlayne got in LOC-KOD, i do remember noticing a marked decrease in rand thinking/caring about avi and elayne in TGS which got even worse in TOM since we didn’t have any rand pov.

“is this so terrible a thing to consider, being with the three of us?” “i want it, aviendha. i should hide myself because i do. but the pain...” “you have embraced it, have you not?” “it is not my pain i fear. it is yours.” “are we so weak, then, that we cannot bear what you can?” 👏👏👏 “of course not. but how can i hope for pain in those i love?” “the pain is ours to accept.” 👏👏👏

god rand NEEDED this kind of “yes you might die, and it will hurt us, but that’s our choice to make and we’ll bear that pain” outlook from a partner SO MANY BOOKS AGO instead of min’s constant insistences that she Won’t Let Him die at tarmon gai’don. not saying it isn’t admirable to keep up that kind of optimism or that it isn’t helpful to rand for his partners to have hope for a future with him, but he really needed avi’s different perspective as well to balance it out.

“be warned; it is all three of us, or none of us. we will not let you come between us.” good on you avi but i am 100% certain that min would gladly let it come between you if rand wanted only her lmaooo

also, this seems like the kind of convo they should all 4 be having together (since it APPARENTLY didn’t stick for rand the first time they had it in WH). this brings me to my other point, that the whole “the 3 women discuss who gets to fuck rand today and send that person to him” (which we also kinda saw in WH tho at least they did all talk to him first even if the women had pre-agreed to leave elayne alone with him after) is SO AWKWARD. HUGE harem vibes. like please just have an orgy all together, for fuck’s sake.

i don’t feel strongly about min having romantic relationships with elayne and avi in the show like i do about elayne and avi having one with each other, and in fact it WOULD be kinda cool to see at least one platonic sibling-spouse dynamic, but if all 4 are all dating each other it would remove so much weirdness when it comes to sex lmao especially when you also add in the fact that the warder bonds allow them to feel each other fucking rand! maybe we could do rand dating all 3, elayne dating all 3, and avi-min sibling-spouses, because it would be easier to make min/elayne happen than min/avi since they spend a lot of time together early in the series and establish a close bond early on that could be given more screentime later by including min in more of elayne’s plotlines instead of exclusively rand’s (also, show!min gives off immense queer vibes, whereas Straight Male Gaze Serving book!min could never), and it would still preserve a sibling-spouse dynamic which IS a unique dynamic that i really love and would love much more if it didn’t feel like such a big No Homo the way it does in the books, which would be accomplished by showing that women can be each other’s wives too and aren’t strictly limited to sister-wives (overall i am so so excited for the show to give us a more explicitly queer version of aiel culture as well as brother-husbands in addition to sister-wives! they haven’t actually said they’ll do that but i’ll eat my hat if they don’t.) okay where was i. oh it would also be good because avi and min being bona fide first-sisters would give them their own unique and meaningful relationship with each other, which is sorely needed. ofc i’d prefer the show just do avirandlayne throuple and keep min/rand as platonic friends because that is so much easier and more natural and works so much better in all respects, but given the “3 beautiful women” viewing and the fact that fans would riot if their beloved Rand Girlfriend didn’t get to bang him in the show, i know that won’t happen.

and so, overall, i hate min and min/rand but i really WANT the show to make me able to like them, for my own sanity if nothing else because it was bad enough having to read so many books heavily featuring a ship i hate and i don’t want to go through that again in the show jdkjfg i’m hoping by the time min/rand begins in the show in earnest it’ll be long enough since i’ve read the books that my “flying into a rage every time i so much as hear min’s name” fight or flight instinct will no longer be so strong.

and kinda same with tuon and mat/tuon, actually. villain redemption arcs (especially when Tough Childhoods and Toxic Families are involved) and hero/villain ships are my bread and goddamn butter and i was so disappointed by the teeeeeeerrible execution in the books because i think tuon could have emerged as one of my favorite characters/character arcs and mat/tuon as one of my favorite canon ships if it had been done in a way that fulfilled the fantastic potential of all the godtier tropes that form the basis of it.

okay i’ve gotten SO off track, but all the s2 stuff from nycc has me hyped up and in show mode! back to the book.

i remember somebody reblogged a post of mine a while back and were saying that aviendha doesn’t know what consent is (i think the original post was an ask where we were discussing avi and birgitte’s terrible reactions to seeing tylin harass mat at the end of ACOS) because the first time she had sex with rand, she took advantage of him while he was half-dead from hypothermia, and the second time, she forced him to have sex with her by bringing maidens to surround the tent and kill him if he refused. that interpretation of their first time i knew straightaway was bullshit bc i’d already read TFOH (they were BOTH half-dead from hypothermia and in fact avi was in WAY worse shape than rand was, which was why he got naked to warm her up in the first place) but i was like “i’m also skeptical of the second one but will reserve judgment until i read it for myself.” i can now say that yes, it’s bullshit lmao i don’t even know how that person could POSSIBLY have come to that conclusion. the maidens arrive of their own accord and avi is kinda embarrassed that they did so, and they’re just yelling and not making ANY attempt whatsoever to threaten rand in ANY way (okay there is “several were screaming about what they’d do to certain parts of his body when they caught him” but avi explains right away that they don’t mean it and the whole thing is just a symbolic practice, and besides, they’re yelling at him for taking avi away from them, not yelling at him to try and force him to sleep with her). and rand and avi do have a little exchange wherein it appears avi is calling the shots and rand just has to do what she says, but it’s clearly just flirty banter that our subby boy rand is very much into (and he’s actually the one who first initiates physical intimacy by pulling her close). you know who DID explicitly think that she would bring the maidens in to kill rand if he tried to not have sex with her? MIN during their first time in ACOS.

“aviendha sniffed. ‘enough talk. you will bed me now.’ ‘light!’ he said. ‘a little forward, aren’t you? is that the aiel way of doing things?’ ‘no,’ she said, blushing again. ‘i just...i am not very skilled with this.’ ...he laughed and pulled her close. she was stiff, initially, but then melted against him. ‘so, do i go fight them first?’ he nodded toward the maidens.” like that’s all so cute! doesn’t read at all nonconsensual to me, it’s just how they flirt! and rand is 100% onboard!

the only thing i didn’t care for was “you three decided this, didn’t you? which of you came to me?” and “i’m never going to get to choose, am i?” to both of which aviendha shakes her head, because while i can see the gender role reversal rj was going for with the 3 women deciding everything about rand between them and he just has to go along with it, it has always annoyed me. but after the second head shake is when rand laughs and pulls avi close, so i guess HE has no problem with it, which is what matters! still, defs looking forward to the show making this not only a true polycule rather than a harem, but a polycule between 4 equal partners rather than rand never being involved in conversations or decisions about his own relationship.

moridin meets rand in a dreamshard and says “i knew that if i created this place, you would join me in it. you can’t keep away from me. the pattern won’t allow it. we are drawn together, you and i. time after time after time. two ships moored on the same beach, beating against one another with each new tide.” oh my god. FELLAS. lines that would 100% fit into a romantic relationship (if a rather toxic one) with no alterations needed! this has gotta be his gayest line to rand yet, which is saying something.

moridin says he’ll kill “you, and the golden-haired one, and the aiel woman, and the little dark-haired-” and gets cut off before specifying woman, so i can interpret that he’s referring to mat as rand’s little dark-haired partner 😌 which serves both my #PutMatInThePolycule AND my #ShortKingMat agendas.

“he was reminded, in passing, of mornings during his youth, rising before dawn to milk the cow, which would need milking twice a day. eyes closed, he remembered the sounds of tam - already up - cutting new fence posts in the barn. remembering the chilly air, stomping his feet into his boots, washing his face with water left to warm beside the stove.” 😭😭😭

“‘light, aviendha! why do you need to sneak up on me in the first place?’ ‘for this,’ she said, then jumped forward, snatching his head and kissing him, her body pressed against his. he relaxed, letting the kiss linger.” 🥺🥺🥺 early morning kisses and then rand brings back showers from the AOL and they take a shower together! weeping over this tiny snippet of domestic avirand!!!! now if only elayne was there too (and mat)

“if i am going to live in the wetlands, then i will adopt some wetlander customs.” avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in (rebuilt) caemlyn endgame is so real y’all!!!! yes!!!

rand remarks that avi no longer seems bothered by a man channeling, but i don’t think she was ever bothered by it? didn’t he say back in TSR or TFOH that the aiel didn’t seem to care about him being a male channeler and the dragon reborn because they only care about him being the car’a’carn?

rand describes the rough calluses of avi’s hands (and how much he likes them) in a passage highly reminiscent of mat describing the rough heron brand on rand’s hand in TFOH, nice.

and we get to the big meeting of all the rulers! way too much going on in this scene for me to break down thoroughly but i’ll reskim to try and remember some specific things i wanted to note.

elayne tells egwene that she spoke to avi about her night with rand but rand didn’t tell avi his intentions for the meeting. the hoops sanderson is jumping through to avoid making elayne and rand just talk to each other directly! what’s the point? why couldn’t elayne have gone to talk to rand WITH avi for a while and then left to give them privacy to fuck? why couldn’t she have and why WOULDN’T she have? it makes no sense.

the king of murandy is a dick, so egwene makes him think the white tower has been pulling strings in murandy (by saying that she’s heard his rule is consolidating nicely and then saying “you’re welcome,” smiling, and riding away). jkjfg queen shit! “‘egwene,’ gawyn said softly, trotting his horse beside hers, ‘did you really just do that?’ ‘does he look troubled?’ gawyn glanced over his shoulder. ‘very.’ ‘excellent.’ gawyn continued riding for a moment, then broke into a deep grin. ‘that was positively evil.’” DJFKGJ i love them your honor! gawyn loves watching egwene get people’s asses as much as i do, bless him! that’s his wife! that’s OUR wife! (also, ARE they literally married yet? they said they were going to but idk if they have.)

“min stood at his side, one hand on his arm.” min showing up to a serious political meeting with rulers of the whole continent and going “i MUST plaster myself to rand to make sure everyone knows i’m his girlfriend” very inappropriate time for physical intimacy, min! especially since elayne and avi are also at the meeting and are not afforded the luxury of flaunting their relationships with rand (although elayne does tell rand she loves him in front of everyone, so they must be wondering what’s going on jkfg “i see what you’re trying to do and i love you for it, but [objection]” is soooomewhat offhand as telling people you love them goes, but still!)

“elayne swept in, the sorrow on her face lightening as rand smiled warmly at her.” ❤️❤️❤️ finally a randlayne crumb!!!!

“the wool-headed woman was still impressed with rand, pleased with how he’d managed to bully everyone into coming here. elayne considered it a matter of pride when he did well.” ❤️❤️❤️ this push-and-pull tension between elayne disagreeing with rand as a fellow leader but being proud of him as a partner (and vice versa) would have been SUCH an interesting thing to explore in detail across the whole series. sigh.

“and you don’t feel a small measure of pride? egwene asked herself. rand al’thor, once a simple village boy and your near-betrothed, now the most powerful man in the world? you don’t feel proud of what he’s done? perhaps a little.” oh my god my HEART 🥺🥺

and we also finally get a bit of randlayne political conflict! but given that elayne’s just one of many rulers voicing the same opinions and she and rand don’t talk directly to each other that much (most of his argument is with egwene while the monarchs are fussing amongst themselves), and that the narrative frames it as “rand wants a peace treaty but all the monarchs including elayne are too selfish and power-hungry to agree,” overall i’m not very satisfied with it. i do think his peace treaty is a great idea and am on his side about it, but i just wish elayne hadn’t been lumped in with the other monarchs. she’s Not Like Other Monarchs, dammit! or i would’ve loved to see rand’s initial treaty be less Good And Righteous than it is, or to see part of this scene from elayne’s pov to see her actual thoughts about the treaty rather than egwene's assumptions about what she thinks, or to have seen her and rand discuss the treaty privately and workshop ways to improve it before bringing it to the full group - because elayne DOES point out some real flaws in the treaty and propose solutions for them, which i loved to see!

“i am [the seals’] watcher.” “in name only. they were only just discovered, and i possess them. it is out of respect for your traditional title that i approached you about them first.” “approached me? you didn’t make a request. you didn’t make a demand. you came, told me what you were going to do, and walked away.” get his ass egwene!! this is exactly what i was saying earlier!

“is this what it’s about? you want saidin to be tainted again. you aes sedai...you’re threatened by the idea of men who can channel, undermining your authority!” ah, now i see where the batshit take of *****MASSIVE SPOILER FOR THE END OF THE BOOK THAT I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YET BUT DO***** “it was better for egwene to go out in a blaze of glory in the last battle because she would’ve hated living in a world where saidin is untainted and men who can channel are treated as equals and aes sedai aren’t on top of the world anymore” came from: an obviously ridiculous and paranoia-induced assumption of rand’s that Certain Readers took as inarguable fact about egwene! love that 🙄

“light, egwene. you can still do it, like the sister i never had - tie my mind in knots and have me raving at you and loving you at the same time.” 🥺

“rand looked hesitant, and for a moment, he seemed the child she’d once caught sneaking bites of mistress cauthon’s pies with mat.” cauthor crumb!

rand’s plan is to KILL THE DARK ONE okay damn. given that the whole series is about balance and how light can’t exist without shadow and vice versa, i’m 95% sure that will turn out to be a bad and/or impossible idea and that it will turn out egwene is right in this particular argument and rand will just imprison him again after all. i hope so, i want egwene to win one of their arguments lmao since moiraine comes in and basically calls her out and embarrasses her in front of all the rulers for trying to disagree with rand about the seals.

“for all his complaints about aes sedai, for all of his insistence that he wouldn’t be controlled by them, he was acting more and more like one of them himself.” exactly!!! glad to see that little bit of hypocrisy acknowledged outright by the narrative and not just by me in my own head.

moiraine returns!!!!! and for some reason we are put into perrin’s pov for this scene instead of rand’s or staying in egwene’s. although various channelers flicking the annoying murandian king with the power and perrin being able to tell who it was by them smelling smug WAS hilarious, i’ll admit.

“where had mat gotten to now? why hadn’t he come back with moiraine?” YEAH FOR REAL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU MAT??????? literally EVERY other character is here, where are you??????? you are RUINING all my hopes and dreams of ef5 reunions!!!! which i always knew would never happen, but they COULD have if mat had gone with moiraine instead of fucking off to wherever he is currently!!! honestly what the hell!!!

“[rand] hesitantly reached out and touched her face. ‘by my mother’s grave,’ rand whispered, then fell to his knees before her. ‘how?’ moiraine smiled, resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, rand. have you forgotten that?’” MOMRAINE!!!

also cracking up at rand: how are you alive? moiraine: the wheel weaves as the wheel wills mat: am i a joke to you?

“‘moiraine,’ egwene said, stepping forward. ‘the white tower welcomes you back with open arms. your service has not been forgotten.’ ‘hmmm,’ moiraine said. ‘yes, i should think that having discovered a future amyrlin would reflect well upon me.’” MOMRAINE!!!

“she passed perrin, and gave him a squeeze on the arm, eyes twinkling.” MOMRAINE!!!

“nynaeve enfolded moiraine in a powerful embrace. moiraine stood for a moment, smelling distinctly shocked, hands out to the sides. finally, she returned the embrace in a somewhat maternal way, patting nynaeve on the back.” MOMRAINE!!! LITERALLY!!!

“nynaeve released her, pulling back, then wiped a tear from her eye. ‘don’t you dare tell lan about this,’ she growled. ‘i would not dream of it,’ moiraine said... ‘insufferable woman,’ nynaeve grumbled as she wiped a tear from the other eye.” MY HEART IS SO FULL

“[elayne was] still staring daggers at rand...oddly, she smelled proud. strange woman.” i love her jkjfg i love Them!!

faile: “if rand persuades [the seanchan to sign the treaty], does that allow them to keep the countries they have now? the women who are damane? are they allowed to slap one of those collars on any woman who passes their border?” THANK you queen faile!!!!

lmao it’s hilarious how every single major character present in this scene is saying stuff and playing an important role in the negotiations.............except for min who has not said a single word and has done nothing but touch rand’s arm twice. she is soooo narratively useless!!! actually, we’re almost 200 pages in and min hasn’t had a single word of dialogue at all or even been present except for in the way background of this one scene. love that for me!

rand gives elayne total control over all the armies at the last battle!!!! that is fucking ROMANCE, baby!!!!! “elayne trakand is a leader to her core; she taught me much of what i know about leadership.” ❤️❤️

rand says he will “try” to “persuade” the seanchan to release the damane and the lands they’ve stolen and go back across the ocean, but aviendha says that they can’t fight the seanchan because they’ll lose. so rand says, “they have done horrible things, but so far, the lands they have taken have benefited from strong leadership.” HATE THIS LATE-SERIES NARRATIVE THAT DIRECTLY CONTRADICTS WHAT WE SAW IN FALME “if forced to it, i am content to allow them the lands they have, so long as they do not spread further. as for the women...what is done is done.” UGH!!!!! i cannot believe i just had to read that load of GARBAGE with my OWN TWO EYES!!!! what the FUCK rand!!!!!! at least he adds “let us worry about the world itself first, then do what we can for those held captive” so MAYBE he’ll try to do SOMETHING, but christ!!! after avi’s visions i feared that “make peace with the seanchan and let them stay, in part because things are ~So Much Better~ under their rule!” would be the “resolution” here, and lo and be fucking hold!!! i’m so mad!!!!!!! rand, go google “appeasement” and rethink your stance here!!!!!

anyway, this tarwin’s gap sequence with lan is sooooo good, i teared up!!! (also, huge spartan 300 vibes which me and my classics degree loved!)

“al chalidholara malkier. for my sweet land malkier. it was the oath a malkieri soldier took during their first posting to the border. lan had never spoken it. he did so now in his heart.” 😭😭😭

“[morgase banishing bryne] hadn’t been elayne’s fault, but she could read the breached trust in bryne’s face.” so bryne is standoffish with elayne because of what her mom did???? fuck that guy. he does later compliment her on her leadership skills and say he doesn’t hold morgase’s actions against her, but still. fuck that guy.

“you will do as you are told.” 😳😳 we may have lost Daddy Rand, but we still have Mommy Elayne!

sidenote while we’re on the subject: baffles me that most people think aviendha tops. did you all read all those scenes of her rushing to do whatever elayne asks and turning into a blushing mess when elayne compliments her?? wake up america. elayne tops always. avilayne, elayne tops. randlayne, elayne tops. matlayne, elayne tops even if mat would never admit it.

anyway. loial returns!!! 🥰 “i am married to erith, though, you see. she’s just over there. did you hear her singing? isn’t her song beautiful? being married is not so bad, perrin. why didn’t you tell me it was not so bad? i think i am rather fond of it.” awwww, warm welcome for loial into the WOT Wifeguy club! also in the club: gawyn, perrin, lan, rand, bashere

“rand needs me.” “rand needs us all.” “he needs me more.” perrin and elayne fighting over their boyfriend jkfg perrin justifies his ummm wild and rude claim that rand needs him more than elayne with min’s viewing that rand will die if perrin isn’t with him at the last battle. now, if only she’d had the same viewing about mat...........

who we learn is IN EBOU DAR????? according to perrin’s color visions. WHAT THE FUCK MAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE???? EVERYBODY ELSE IS OVER HERE GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!!!! “that man is never where he needs to be.” christ elayne i KNOW!! man.

“the seanchan are the enemy. mat doesn’t seem to understand that, considering what he’s done.” GET HIS ASS ELAYNE!!!!!! TEAR THE BITCH APART!!! it’s still unclear whether she’s aware he’s married to the seanchan empress, but this line implies she might be since idk what else she might mean by What He’s Done

“apparently, rand had specifically told [bashere] to watch over [elayne, while they’re in caemlyn].” another one for the Romantic Or Condescending? debate lmao i’m going to say condescending because rand has time to tell bashere to watch over elayne but doesn’t have time to fucking talk to elayne directly STILL???? they were in the same place for 200 pages and didn’t exchange a word besides as leaders at the big meeting!

tam is part of the contingent who went to caemlyn with elayne, but i’m sure that having an interaction between the two of them will be too much to ask for

elayne notes that bashere doesn’t talk to her “the way a man should a queen” which is absolutely not something rj’s elayne would’ve ever thought, because she was only misinterpreted by others as being a Spoiled Princess but was never actually one.

pregnancy update: the babies are kicking and moving around frequently!!! 🥺🥺 i would like a timeline update because i really didn’t think elayne was far enough into her pregnancy to feel the babies moving THIS strongly and often, and the size of her belly has also lately been described as seemingly much bigger than i would’ve thought it would be (tho that i can excuse as twins making her bigger sooner than a single baby would). google says you typically start feeling movements between 16 and 24 weeks and that they become more regular between 24 and 28 weeks, which would mean elayne’s ~6 months pregnant now, and no way in hell was WH 6 months ago. that was midwinter and we’re still only in spring, i’m pretty sure.

elayne asks bashere if he thinks it’s a mistake for her to go into battle while pregnant and he says no - king shit! then he tells her that she should tell everyone she’s carrying the dragon reborn’s children because it would make them fight harder - opposite of king shit! as we all know, elayne is simply a vessel for rand’s babies and people would care more about fighting for them than for her 🙄

elayne quite rightly points out that this is neither any of bashere’s business nor any of the army’s business, but he says that the heir to the realm is the business of its subjects. yeah, and it’s only their business that that heir is the queen’s kid, the babydaddy is not their business!

“perhaps it will remind them that not everything in this world is dying.” can you believe that rand and elayne’s babies are being used to give a greater emotional impact and sense of hope to an army of randos than to rand? insanity.

“farmers burned their fields in the spring to prepare them for new life. maybe that was what andor was suffering now.” a sense of hope being given to me as well, thank you elayne!

but bashere does tell elayne that she reminds him of faile ❤️❤️ so he earns a few points back. i want to see elayne-faile friendship so bad! they HAVE had a couple fun interactions in this book and the previous one.

elayne does come around and tell birgitte to spread the word that the babies are rand’s. bashere, this is colossally stupid! he claims that she doesn’t have to worry about it making them any greater targets than they already are because she’s already important enough (as high commander of the armies of the light) to make them targets, which on the surface is Hell Yeah Elayne’s Special On Her Own, but if you actually think about it, it’s colossally stupid because rand IS more of a target than elayne. not only in the eyes of the shadow, but in the eyes of regular people and politicians etc. the dragon reborn is hated and feared in so many places, and elayne herself was worried last book about the potential of a Dragon Empire forming after rand’s death with the lands he holds. even were rand to defeat the shadow and die at the last battle, he would still have a dangerous and threatening posthumous legacy among non-shadow people - TONS of people would want to see his kids dead to make sure they couldn’t rise to inherit all the power and thrones and influence he left behind. COLOSSALLY STUPID for bashere to tell elayne she should publicize that he’s her babies’ dad! maybe it’ll make her soldiers fight harder right now, but what about after the last battle, huh? it will cause so many problems for her then! you’ve gotta be thinking long term here!

a shortish chunk of chapters, but the post is getting long and there’s a wonderful wonderful randlayne scene next chapter FINALLY that i know i will have many words about, so i better cut this one off here

#wot #wot book spoilers

[mirror-to-the-past]

More (Apparently) KH3:Remind and Melody of Memory Stuff

Spiritually pounding on the windows of the Square Enix building- what do you MEAN I find out via YouTube that there's story cutscenes locked behind those egregious Data fights?? (That I'll personally beat... someday...)

(I also just went ahead and watched all the cutscenes for Melody of Memory, because I didn't want to play through a $60 rhythm game, sorryyy)

But first, Re:Mind and its sneaky, sneaky cutscenes...

Everything with Yozora has me Bonkers. I can't believe they've done this. Echoing Sora's first line in the series "I've been having these weird thoughts lately" through his own side of the story, him saying that he doesn't look like how he appears, the 'why do you know that name,' the "save Sora" while immediately drawing a gun on the man in question?? I'm just... *screaming noises* They're bringing everything together with the fiction versus reality stuff they have going on, and guys, I get SO excited when some games go meta. I'm squealing like a little girl; I'm ecstatic. Despite Sora being in (what I now know as Quadratum) and the background of the Yozora fight reflecting that, I can't help but wonder if it was another internal fight due to the arena switching to Sora's Heart Station for a second, akin to Roxas' fight in KH2.

And the music was so pretty... Yozora has a gorgeous theme. The prettier the battle theme, the more insane the KH fight, I say.

Also Riku was dreaming of Sora for a year. Lmao. He just... didn't say anything about it, while everyone was busting their asses. I'll be honest, literally the only way I could take that is that he dismissed his dreams as irrelevant- ah yes, dreaming of Sora? Nothing crazy to see here. Oh, Riku.

Also more importantly than Riku's angst deal- KAIRI WAS LAUNCHED INTO SPACE WHEN SHE WAS A PRESCHOOLER TO ACT AS A KEYBLADE WIELDER HOMING DEVICE, JESUS CHRIST. Kairi 🤝 Megamind 🤝 potentially Superman (I'm not a comics guy):

Getting launched out of their home planets into space in order to escape the destruction of their worlds, given vague and confusing scenarios and instructions to adapt to once they find a new planet, but they really just wanna chill and be loved and keep people safe.

And she's gonna train with Aqua! :D Another professional at getting launched into other worlds (realms). I hope she bonds with Ventus, as I've recently been made aware of their similarities in disposition, and how they are treated by others (hearts of pure light, designated by their groups as "the one who should stay home/be protected", wavering self confidence in their own abilities and self worth). Additionally, the hilarious potential scenarios of Kairi being like "yeah, and my favorite color's actually-" and Ventus interrupts with "Purple. I know," because the man essentially vicariously lived Sora's childhood. I'm super stoked for future Kairi screentime! Loved when she saw Xehanort in her memories and was like 'I don't care if you're a memory, data, manifestation of my heart or any other thing- I hate you, get out of my life forever. Hugs and kisses, die.' Like, 10/10, girl. Fair. Kairi's a volcano wrapped in a sweet package ready to snap at someone.

Riku's like "Y'know Ansem, I'm gonna miss you... 🥺"

And Sora's like "Xemnas, stooop all the violence. How can you take advantage of people with hearts? You should feel your feelings. You're valid, bestie. ☺️"

Kairi's no bleeding heart for baddies, she just wants everyone to get off her damn case, lol!

Also LOL at the fairy godmother of all people being the one to ship Riku off to Quadratum after Sora. My Cinderiku jokes (as well as my previous KH3 post's blurb about Riku determinedly walking into the ocean to find Sora) may not be completely unwarranted, now. Like, Miss 'specialty in dreams?' Miss "If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am." Not even to mention "a dream is a wish your heart makes," a very relevant lyric for this set of circumstances, if I do say so myself. I guess that's just gonna be another song I love and sing to myself that now makes me think of KH. 🤷 There's worse things I suppose, for example, like Buddy Holly being stuck in my head for three days straight and making me feel like I'm trapped listening to my uncle's records (thanks, Good Omens).

I ended up re-watching "Cinderella" for the first time in a while because of that part of Re:Mind and MoM. The KH association of the part with Fairy Godmother's appearance is now semi-heartwrenching, given the context of her appearance in "Cinderella," as well:

You have the vocalizing chorus throughout the opening of the scene acting as a callback to Cinderella's "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" song as well as reflecting her inner thoughts, and she has a dialogue with it while she sobs alone in the garden:

Chorus: Whatever you wish for, you keep...

Cinderella: "Oh, no... no, it isn't true."

Chorus: Have faith in your dreams and someday... your rainbow will come smiling through!

Cinderella: "It's just no use. No use at all."

Chorus: No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing...

Cinderella: "I can't believe! Not anymore..."

Chorus: The dream that you wish... *lyric trails off, unfinished*

Cinderella: "There's nothing left to believe in... nothing..."

[Fairy Godmother materializes next to her]

FG: "Nothing my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that."

Cinderella: "Oh, but I do-"

FG: "Nonsense, child! If you lost all your faith, I couldn't be here, and here I am!"

[the violin and cello come in to finish the last part of the lyric] "...will come true."

Beautiful scene, really. The chorus assisting the animation is delightful... I watched Bambi and Lady and the Tramp (Bella Notte <3) a lot growing up because I loved that old-timey choral work. So dreamy...

Additional funny/sweet bit: I like how Mickey was freaking out to the point of being pinned down over Riku being unceremoniously dropped into Quadratum via Fairy Godmother's spontaneity and enabling.

'You sent my son to the big city ALONE?! He could get mugged, he could get lost, he could get hate-crimed, he could-'

*jump cut to Riku, and he's trying to gauge the value of Earth Money by spying on hot dog stands. He sheds his first known tear of the series by trying to figure out public transit routes*

Anyway, in the words of Cid:

"But what happens next?!"

#kingdom hearts #kh3 #melody of memory #kh3 remind

[titsthedamnseason]

juli!!!!! now that the like us series is over (thinking about when we'll ever get another hale pov 😭) what have you thought? and what are you most hoping for with the cobalt empire?

hahaha what a loaded question! i’m also sad about the hales hence me rereading dlu already lol 💚 but also on patreon kbr have started posting extras in kinney’s pov which i am so grateful for. great way to keep us connected to the younger generation / give a sneak peek and i feel lucky it was with my favorite girl!! i am relying on this content to hold me over lol (plus next we have XANDER’S BOOK!!!!! to look forward to. which i almost expect to get sooner than we might think 👀)

my thoughts on the series as a whole are kind of hard to articulate but i’ll try? i think the series started really strong and sort of devolved from there. i think going back to dlu put a lot into perspective for me because right from the beginning they did a lot of great set up and left threads that were still being picked up in luna’s books so i applaud them for their forward thinking and planning in that regard (i know that either krista or becca - i don’t know who is who lmao - is super dedicated to going back and rereading all the early books and making sure everything is still flowing and connecting and i must say that’s very apparent looking at the big picture. a job well done for sure). i think all of moffy and farrow’s books, definitely oscar and jack’s book, and i’ll even say jane and thatcher’s books, function well on their own. moffy and jane’s books also do a nice job in contributing to the series as a whole

but obviously there was also a lot left to be desired and i think that despite whatever flaws the earlier books contain, things REALLY started going off the rails with sulli’s books (my poor girl 💔). while the overall series arc ended up functioning pretty well imo, as the series progressed the plots of each individual book just kept getting wishy washier. i wish kbr would just realize that romantic and interpersonal development is enough to drive a story without needing a bunch of other distracting side plots that actually take away from the main focus of the book and divert readers’ attention from what the twins are best at writing. like the romantic plots should be enough to sustain a book IF THEY ARE DONE WELL, and kbr are capable of doing them well, but they got so caught up in trying to include other things that they couldn’t give the real focus of the stories the attention they really deserved if that makes sense. i’m at least glad they don’t rely so much on the third act break up or use miscommunication between couples to drive the books

i also think that now that they’ve taken such care to establish quinn and frog as a budding romance, oscar and jack’s book should have been its own thing outside the series and maybe started a different (cobalt-empire-esque?) spinoff for all these side characters that they’ve grown attached to and insist on making books for. charming like us is a great book on its own but doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the series (is the original / sub-heading / tagline of the like us series not “billionaires and bodyguards”????)

as for the cobalt empire…..i’m trying to go in with a very open mindset. ben’s book was honestly the last one i was expecting but definitely the most ideal scenario for me!!! im really hoping these books won’t be super dragged out and bogged down by extraneous and unnecessary side plots and characters (one book per brother honestly sounds ideal but i know that’s a fool’s hope). obviously a really big thing i’m looking forward to reading about is the evolution of ben and charlie’s relationship and also seeing ben grow closer to all his brothers and finally finding a place within his family 💙 this is why ben’s pov is great to start with because we’re going to see him thrown back into this environment with all his brothers and this time they’re all older and there’s no parents. i know that apartment is WILD in a way that ben cobalt simply is not (or is he? 😏)

i’m also now conflicted about whether the ben and xander resolution should be expected in burn bright or if we have to wait until xander’s books (BUT IT BETTER NOT HAPPEN IN BETWEEN!). i made a post about this at some point but i also think if kbr can’t keep it down to one book per brother, and overlapping style similar to addicted / calloway might work really well as opposed to the clunkier progression of the like us series.

i CANNOT WAITTTTT to finally get into charlie’s head also. that’s going to be a wild ride. i can’t wait to get a deeper look into charlie and beckett’s interactions and for the two of them and their love interests to be the best friend group ever. the cobalt boys ALL have really really really good tropes setting the scene for them (expect for ben who is the only one we’re kind of in the dark about right now) and im excited to see that unfold. also!! as much as i love the hales, its going to be great seeing rose and connor more again! it’s not an aspect i’ve spent too much time thinking about yet but they have such unique and different relationships with each of their kids so im excited to see each of their interactions. ALSO!!! FREEDOM FROM BODYGUARDS GOD BLESSSSSS 🙏 none of the cobalts are super close to their bodyguards to my understanding so after the like us series this will feel like a breath of fresh air

and the last thing i must say - what i’m really hoping for is that harriet isn’t going to play a big role…..i know this is clowning since she JUST moved to new york and the same college as everyone and is lowkey the only person that’s been introduced as a possibility for ben’s love interest but god that idea just bores me lol. especially when all the other brothers already have such compelling love interests and book premises. but alas i am probably wrong and will need to get over my unreasonable dislike of this poor girl who never did anything but be luna’s friend. i think my ideal way for the harriet situation to play out would actually be if she started dating xander but then they broke up before his real books start because i think it would be nice for some of these kids to get some real dating experience before ending up with the love of their lives forever!!

anyway. sorry as always that i’m incapable of being normal about kbr books and can’t just answer with “the series had its ups and downs but im excited for what’s next!!!” but that functions as a great tldr i guess lol

#asks #kbr asks

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Horrible opinion time ™, but honestly, season 2 of Good Omens really clinched it for me as a show to come back to (tl;dr at the bottom sorry essay post)

Overall season one is much better imo (higher stakes, better structured, more sarcastic and self aware, better set pieces, etc. Also I have a personal preference for the ensemble aspect of the show/presumably the book,) and of course this comes from it being a very good book. A lot of book to screen adaptations are awful but it's always good when the author has some kind of creative input

However, when I saw Every-- or more specifically, the rabid fandom (and author) reaction to Every-- I went from vague interest in watching GO to actively wanting to watch it, and then doing so. I still firmly believe Amazon did that shit on purpose and whoopsie it worked lol

So while overall I think season two is a bit more muddled and the stakes are far lower, the shift from macro issues being the primary conflict in season one with the Apocalypse (apparently the book is very much focused on this plot and the romantic aspects of ineffable husbands were bass-boosted in the series,) the micro interpersonal conflicts in season two are very compelling in a different way

Good Omens 1 was wrapped in a neat bow; it felt sweet, but because a lot of the ensemble aspect was cut, the ending with Adam didn't really quite hit the punch it needed imo (Real "You have no power over me!" Labyrinth moment, except not as cool.) Body switching was a fist pump in the air moment, but with that wine toast and the birds chirping, it felt over. I'd have thought back on it as, "Oh, that show! That was cute, maybe I'll watch it again someday."

But that fuckin cliffhanger and Crowley and Aziraphale's absolute despair really brings out the angst and conflict I love from media. Succession (yes I am still Succession brained, sorry) has plenty of money moves, but all the important psychologically devastating/funny aspects come from the characters' (and actors') interactions

People are upset about leaving on conflict but-- why? Conflict in a story is what makes it move. It's the only thing that motivates an actor or a character (thanks acting method, you will always be annoying as fuck) Their separation now emphasizes the truly terrible ambiguity of good and evil in Heaven and Hell and could possibly take it into a more philosophical and metaphysical direction that-- while may have existed in the book-- didn't really exist prominently in the first season

I know people overall want a beautiful resolution for ineffable husbands but you know what? I'll take the pining! I'll take the misery! When it's all wrapped up, the imagination stops. When there's always something looming, there's always something to come back to

tl;dr Aziraphale & Crowley failmarriage is so frustrating and has so much potential to explore deeper philosophical and psychological themes and y'all're cowards if you're mad lmao (no one really is tho tbh)

#no one will read this lol #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens meta #i hope this doesn't seem like asslicking i just really got in my feelings about this season #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens speculation #good omens analysis #succ brained sorry #succession

[safyresky]

I am so ?????????

Finally watched the episode! UM. What in the fuck??? What?? The fuck??? Um???? I cannot really put into words the feeling I am having but I have a great emoji for it! 🤨🤨🤨

That's the vibe, lads.

So the Council. Ho boy. WOW. Allow me to just go OFF for a moment here :) :) :)

THEY CANNOT INTERFERE? THEY WILL NOT INTERFERE? HELLO?????

THE SAME COUNCIL THAT WAS SO KIND AND SUPPORTIVE TO SANTA DURING TSC2.

WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY WHO GAVE HIM A LIFT BACK NORTH.

MOTHER NATURE LITERALLY MARRYING SCOTT AND CAROL AT THE VERY LAST MOMENT.

OFFERING TO HELP SANTA MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE WHEN THEY WERE BEHIND OR WHATEVER IN TSC2

THE COUNCIL THAT WAS LIKE "NO YOU CAN'T STOP BEING SANTA UR SO GOOD AT IT!"

THE SAME COUNCIL THAT CHARLIE WAS ABLE TO CALL UP ON CHRISTMAS EVEN FOR SOME EXTRA HELP? NO QUESTIONS ASKED>?

WOULD NOT HELP THE ELVES WITH MAD SANTA????

SO LA BEFANA, WHO WAS APPARENTLY ALSO A LEGENDARY FIGURE TOO (which is giving age old fanfics vibes lmao, not sure that's a good thing???? more at 10) HAD TO DO A ROBBERY? BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T HELP?? BECAUSE THEY APPARENTLY CAN'T INTERFERE?????

WHEN THEY DO INTERFERE A LOT? SEE: THE ENTIRETY OF TSC3 WHERE THEY HAVE A MEETING BC OF SOME CARDBOARD STANDEES AND BAD WEATHER????? AND YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT THEY WILL NOT INTERFERE WITH:

MAD SANTA ATTACKING THE POLE

EASTER BUNNY BEING TURNED INTO A BUNNY AND THEN A LEMON

EASTER BUNNY'S BASKET BEING STOLEN

EASTER BUNNY BEING KIDNAPPED

CRAZY AMOUNTS OF SANTA MAGIC ALL UNACCOUNTED FOR IN THE R E A L WORLD?????

SANDMAN MAGIC BEING USED ON SANDMAN?

BILLIONS OF SNOW GLOBES FILLED WITH CHRISTMAS MAGIC POPPING INTO THE REAL WORLD AND BEING GIFTED TO HUMANS?

THE WHOLE SIMON THING LAST SEASON?????

THEY WOULD NOT INTERFERE??? WHAT IN THE FUCK!!!!! It's funny, because like. When I was rage fic-ing post S1, I was thinking that the Council, given Scott being...SCOTT, had stopped talking to him as much bc tscs!Scott sucks so bad!! He 100% would've made comments that deffs did not sit well with ANY of the other Council Members, I mean, look at how he treated Cupid and Sandy! I'd hate to be on THAT Council during Covid, YIKES.

But like. GOD. @lmelodie you were SO RIGHT about Council stans being pissed bc I am MAD PISSED. ALSO, JUST LEARNT THAT I AM APPARENTLY A V BIG COUNCIL STAN!! (Checks out I suppose given my fic writing and reading habits, lol).

It's just so MADDENING and INFURIATING and SADDENING, IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY SAD TO SEE THAT T H I S IS HOW THEY'RE REACTING TO NOT BEING ABLE TO GET ALL THE COUNCIL MEMBERS BACK. Like, GOD, if you're unable to properly use them in the story JUST DON'T USE THEM AT ALL. I am once again REJOICING that the Millers have been left untouched, thank GOD for that!

AND ANOTHER THING (took a kitchen cleaning break and got all annoyed about loopholes). IF RESIGNING AS A LEGENDARY FIGURE ALLOWS YOUR POWERS TO WORK ON OTHERS, WHY WOULD THEY THREATEN JACK WITH THAT IN THE THIRD MOVIE? WOULDN'T YOU WANT HIM TO KEEP HIS TITLE SO THAT HIS POWERS WOULDN'T WORK ON THE REST OF YOU, INCLUDING SANTA?!?!?!?!?! THIS SHIT DOESN'T LINE UP! IT DOESN'T! LINE! UP! MY GOD! THIS SERIES IS MY VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY! THIS SERIES IS WHY PEOPLE NEED TO STOP REBOOTING OLD THINGS! 80% OF THE TIME IT'S A MISS! THAT'S TOO MUCH RISK! TOO MUCH!! AH!

I THINK I'M DONE YELLING ABOUT THE COUNCIL. PROBABLY NOT TBH. BUT FOR NOW I'LL CALL IT. GOD, I MEAN, I KNEW WHEN WE LEARNT WE'D BE SEEING SOME OF THEM THEY WOULD NOT MAKE IT OUT UNSCATHED BUT DAMN! DAMN! MORE RETCONNING LORE! DAMN!

eurhgjrbewhfnujqncwje nsdjk. GOD I'm EXHAUSTED. My brain itches. I was thinking of lobotomys today. I wonder why (/sarcasm)

(it was bc of a shitty patron at work but this just adds to the freudian slips)

UGH. Ick. Yuck. Moving on (impossible for me but we're gonna TRY!)

Elves vs Gnomes

So. The backstory thing. I just. It's cool lore but it leaves more questions than answers and just makes things SO CONFUSING. AS A DISCLAIMER: GO OFF BETTY, WE LOVE TO SEE HER BEING A BADASS. BETTY! HELL YEAH! WE HERE AT SAFYRESKY INDUSTRIES LOVE TO SEE BETTY THRIVING!

Now for the wank. From a LORE PERSPECTIVE. EURGH.

They drop that Mad Santa was a good Santa until he thought everyone was ungrateful and implemented coal and became buds with the gnomes, who apparently ran the coal mines. The gnomes get in his head and prey on his paranoia. Paranoia of WHAT. I've not done a second watch and I don't think I will because I don't actually want a lobotomy despite them being on my mind today a little too much tbh, so maybe i missed that bit, but like, come ON. We can do better in terms of giving antagonists a believable descent into villainy! GOD!

And the trap scene, that was so needlessly drawn out. They should have held him in the trap, Betty revealed her badass self, had Magnus taunt and THEN boom, Befana ALREADY THERE, and she nutcrackers his ass.

Also, calling it NOW. Not ONLY will Sandy un-nutcracker Cal, but she's deffs gonna re-nutcracker Magnus. I bet it'll be like a reversal spell or something lmao

BUT YEAH the lore for the elves around Mad Santa's reign is not quite hitting with me, I gotta say! I am not a fan of it and every time I see it (Betty and Noel aside bc they of course SHINE) it leaves me very :\. It just. Doesn't seem to hit? Or really work? It's just so convoluted to me and goes against everything they said NOT JUST in the movies but LAST SEASON AND ALSO IN INTERVIEWS ABOUT THE SERIES BEFORE TI CAME OUT! It's infuriating y'all. GOD. "A war we didn't see coming" wow, the gnomes and Pyros sure do have something in common, eh? 🤔🤔

Cal and Sandra

God, I love them. They're so funny. Cal is like destroying his room and Sandy is like BRO what the FUCK and HELPS HIM HUNT DOWN THE VEST WITH SANTA MAGIC!! USING HER BEFANA TRAINING! AND THEN HE HELPS HER MAKE UP WITH BEFANA! By lying, of course, so he can go be stupid and heroic and GET NUTCRACKER'D (they nutcrackered my boy ): BUT I LOVE THE WAY THEY SUPPORT EACH OTHER

And the almost hug that turned into punches, lol. That's so Toph coded. We love to see it!

We DON'T love to see Cal DOING THAT! THOUGH! I DID LOVE HIS SCENE WITH KRIS. I'm really hoping, given that he and Cal got duct tapped together and he knows Cal's been nutcrackered, that they give him more of a role, you know? Honestly, it'd be neat if they made Kris the next Santa! I think he'd fit the bill quite well! And then Cal could have his odd job montage and, you know, cross guard and sail on a cruise ship and such. I am VERY intrigued with this pairing, as an aside. Kris and Cal? There's potential. They're gonna fuck it up I'm sure, but we have some DANK POTENTIAL HERE

Sandra and Befana

I'M SO GLAD THEY CHATTED! I am still v much like Sandra did NOTHING wrong and Befana overacted, but I'm glad they talked. Interesting stuff about the magic taking a tole/consequences. Mad Santa really do be out here messing up the balance of things huh? And Mother Nature WON'T intervene. GOD. I know it's bc they probz couldn't get the rest of the ALIVE actors back but like. THEN WHY EVEN USE SOME OF THEM? YEESH. ANYWAY

I'm excited to see how Sandy and Befana manning home base goes! I'm glad they talked and hopefully they can un-lemon EB and just be general badasses around the Workshop, lol.

BUT YEAH. OVER ALL. ARGH. I AM ONCE AGAIN SEEING POTENTIAL, BUT KNOWING THAT IT WON'T BE REACHED IS ACTUALLY LIKE. DEVASTATING.

ALSO. I HATE THAT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT MAD SANTA GETTING TO THE POLE IN EPISODE 6. ARGH

#dani speaks #dani watches tscs #tscs spoilers #tscs #the santa clauses #tscs crit #i just finished watching tsc2 and like #wow. what a drop in quality from the movies to the SERIES #it's actually insane #anyway. gonna stew. gonna continue to imagine cs verse kicking ass in tscs verse #maybe i'll post the thing about it in my drafts. idk. it's pre season 2 so. idk!!!