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inastarlesssky · 4 months

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Okay so here's my actual thoughts about The Crimes of Grindelwald. That last bit was like me processing really quickly what I thought but this is a more...in-depth thing. Not promising a play by play analysis of the plot and everything but what I thought of the story in general and more specifically about the dynamics of Newt + Leta, Newt + Tina, and the Credence plotline.

Okay so last night, I finished Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, and I didn't think it was such a bad movie. Not the best, for sure, but I have seen worse. I was just struck by how much was going on. . .there was the overall Grindelwald's evil agenda and him being a creepy af villain. Kudos to Johnny Depp for pulling off the creepiness. And the costume designers/makeup people. All of that (his appearance, and the man's acting job) contributed to very much "This guy is Bad™ and he won't hesitate for a second to do what needs to be done". Though I am still wondering what the hell happened to his eye to make him look weird like that. Was he born that way? (I haven't read the books but I might one day.)

I liked the escape scene; the rain, and the Thestrals were pretty neat but I might have appreciated some explanation or reference (was it referred to in the previous movie, Abernathy's abilities?) Or was it Grindelwald making it possible to switch places with him in the coach? I mean cinematically, it was kind of neat, but I was really confused. Same with the part, later, when Abernathy shifted from looking like a woman to himself to get inside the Ministry. I'm just used to seeing wizards use wands, given that we see that in HP. Granted, okay, some of them just don't, like Graves/Grindelwald in the first movie when he just did with magic with a swish and flick of his hand...but still.

Then there was the whole bit about Dumbledore enlisting Newt's help to find Credence. Not gonna lie, though I liked Dumbledore a bit in the HP movies, I didn't like the idea that he was foisting off on Newt this job. Newt asks him at one point, "Why can't you do it?" and we later find that he can't fight Grindelwald because of a blood pact. Understandable, but Idk I just feel like Dumbledore just doesn't want to get involved. For whatever reasons that may be (perhaps I'll discover this in the third movie...) Which brings me to the point at the very end of the movie, when Newt brings him the phial containing their blood pact thing. When he asks Dumbledore if he'll destroy it or try to, the latter says, "Maybe, maybe" in a way that seemed very much to me like a "I'll tell you maybe but it's a Slytherin way of saying 'no'." I'm not trying to bash Dumbledore here, trust me, this is just what I think of him from these actions.

This little sideplot of Credence and Nagini...it didn't really grab me. Maybe he really is like this, but Credence just seems very mopy and I'm not sure how to put it....he doesn't really make me feel any particular way about him. Like it's different with Grindelwald and Newt.

Grindelwald:

Okay I see him, he looks like trouble,

Lie after lie spills off his tongue,

He's vicious and all of the above = he's bad and I don't like him.

Newt:

He's a little spacey but he knows what he has to do.

He says he doesn't want to take sides, but his heart is in the right place, and he will devote himself to the good.

He's quirky, he looks quirky and there's just this awkwardness about him that makes him endearing = you develop a soft spot for this guy.

But Credence? I pitied him in the first movie for how he suffered, but I just don't think I understood his character enough in this movie to feel anything more.

Okay, now about Leta and Theseus. I was downright confused about the relationship with Theseus and Newt tbh. In one moment he's hugging him and offering him assistance and then at the Ministry, he looks like he legit wants to kill Newt, and I think Newt even makes a remark about that. But then, at the very end, they hug because well, they've both lost Leta.

As for Leta....I wasn't sure what to think about her and Newt As I said before, there's that flashback to Hogwarts where we see her upset because of the other girls' bullying, and she runs off and finds Newt with a raven chick. Then Newt finds her and takes her to see a Bowtruckle (was that Pickett by the way, or just one of the Bowtruckles that he'd found in that tree there?), and it's sweet because we see just so how tender he is. And he's looking at her with a kind expression, but I didn't get the impression that either of them had anything romantic, really. I think I was just really confused.

The Newt and Tina part of all this....So personal note here--I sort of just initially started shipping them because they looked like they could be a thing. In the first movie, he was sort of just thrown into an adventure with her and they had to figure everything out. The last scene of FB had me thinking, will they, won't they? Then, in CoG, when Queenie tells Newt that Tina thought he was engaged to Leta and thus started dating Achilles, the camera goes to him and I saw him maybe a little devastated, disappointed, at the news. He pretty much visibly deflated, and then we see him looking for how to find her, to explain the truth. Why would he be so desperate to do that if he didn't actually care how she felt about that?

I also picked up on that part when they're in the safehouse, and they're taking care of Yusuf. Whenever Tina calls him 'Mr. Scamander', he just has this look on his face...like he feels the distance she's putting between them. Then there's also the scene in the French Ministry. Newt was basically scrambling to explain to her that it was a mistake, that in his words, he wasn't truly happy or engaged, despite what she thought. I felt like it was pointed, when he said that to her. She asks him "Are you here to win [Leta] back?" and he answers with "I'm here to--" to what? To win Tina back? Maybe.

Newt: Please don't be happy. No, I--sorry, I don't--obviously I want you to be, and I hear that you are now. Which is wonderful. What I'm trying to say is, I want you to be happy, but I don't want you to be happy that I'm happy because I'm not. Happy. Or engaged. Tina: ...

Was this him trying to tell her something? I'm not sure. We don't see much more of them talking like this later in the movie because of everything else that happens. I'm kind of a little bummed about Queenie, though...I mean she was never my favorite character, but I liked her. Except when she crossed over to Grindelwald's side, I was like "No! You're better than this." Jacob was, understandably, upset. As for Leta's fate, that was unfortunate. When she said I love you, that was for Theseus, her fiancee, no? That's what I thought at least.

And in the end, Credence is supposedly Aurelius Dumbledore, surprise. A LOT of stuff happened in this movie that I think could have been either two movies or not stuffing so much into one. Like it had promising points, but it was just too much. At least too much to take in at 11 at night before going to sleep, imo. It wasn't too bad though. I'm looking forward to the 3rd movie!

#my ramblings #okay here's the actual review #well more like how i felt about certain things i guess #fantastic beasts #crimes of grindelwald #newt scamander #eddie redmayne #gellert grindelwald #tina goldstein #newtina #theseus scamander #this is my new fixation ok

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magicalhideoutengineer · 8 months

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Newt & Theseus

Crimes of Grindelwald:

Callum Turner: I play Theseus, who is Newt's older brother, even though I'm younger than Eddie, which is interesting! He's kind of the opposite of Newt. He's gone through the same schooling obviously, but once he got out he decided that the establishment was the way to fight the good fight. Theseus is or may be quite more rigid or just part of the establishment. You know, he's the head Auror at the Ministry.

Yeah, I mean, he's the opposite to Newt. I guess he's more rigid, and he's conformed to the way that people want you to … he's become one of them I guess, and he went to Hogwarts. He was taught by Dumbledore. He’s from that school, and he became this, which you can take...

- Collider

What are Theseus’s thoughts about the creatures? What are his relationships with them?

Callum Turner: Yeah, I think he has bigger fish to fry and it’s his little brother’s thing. That’s his sort of looking down on his brother.

- Collider

Callum Turner: He'd been educated at Hogwarts underneath Dumbledore the same way Newt had, but for some reason he'd separated and it always felt unnatural that Theseus had become part of the establishment when his natural instinct would probably not to be that, but like Newt, you know, they are brothers. There's a similarity. But he's somehow like closed that bit off and he's gone that way and he's gone really high up into the Ministry of Magic and pretty much runs it and that's how he decides to fight the good fight. As Newt is part of the rebellion so I look at it, and Theseus is part of the establishment, and that's the kind of main difference between two brothers. Apart from that, very similar.

- ChicagoSciFi

Eddie Redmayne: I'll never forget. I don't know if you ever saw it. I saw an early version of the script in which the young guys were...

Callum Turner: The flashback.

Eddie Redmayne: Yeah, flashback when they were at Hogwarts together. He [Theseus] came like flying past the window on a Quidditch team, on his broomstick. He was clearly like a schoolboy sporting hero.

Callum Turner: Like a jock.

Eddie Redmayne: Definitely. The antithesis of Newt.

- Movie'n'co UK

Eddie Redmayne: Thank you. He's kind of the opposite of Newt. He is like the schoolboy hero. He was great. I'm sure he's like a brilliant Quidditch player, so they have a bit of tension and animosity, and yet they also have great love for each other, and that's kind of what you see through the film, is they start kind of not on the same side, but they progress through, and that thing that family does, like however much your brother irritates you, there's still some－I have three brothers who I love dearly. They never irritate me－They feel great sort of affection for.

- Dingo Movie

Eddie Redmayne: But also she [ J.K. Rowling] watches and she even says the way Callum’s character, Theseus, was written in the script was quite like, he was quite a bit mean to Newt, but the way Callum played him made him so human in trying to do the right thing and ‘I’ve got my own struggles’ and when Jo saw that and said to me that … when she then sees that footage she then responds to that in how she writes the characters going forward so it is kind of a lovely dance in some way.

- Knockturnal

Eddie Redmayne: It is really complicated. [Theseus] is an Auror, he’s very establishment, and Newt is kind of the antithesis of that. But what I loved, actually, was the way Jo had written their relationship. It was quite antagonistic to begin with, and it certainly is filled with complexities. I mean, his brother is engaged to this girl who he had a huge affection for growing up, so there’s obviously a real tension there. But one of the things I loved is, actually, Jo said to me seeing what Callum [Turner] was doing and how David was directing – there was a lot of love there – that she progressed the relationship as a consequence of that.

- Buzzfeed

Callum Turner: Theseus is the polar opposite of Newt. In a sense they're both fighting the good fight, but Newt is part of the rebellion movement and Theseus is the establishment.

- MTV News

Callum Turner: The focus was very much about the brother relationship. I don't have a younger brother. I have a younger half-brother, but we didn't grow up with each other and I got these stories and it's very much the older brother shouts at the younger brother a lot and so bullies him in a certain way because there's a responsibility. It's all about two people just playing at the same patterns they had for years.

- Evanna Lynch Interview

Callum Turner: Theseus is head Auror at the British Ministry Of Magic - it's a tongue-twister! - and is really straight-laced. And Newt's not. He's the complete opposite, and he actually wants him to get in line and try to save the world. Because he knows he's special, but he won't do that. And that's the tension. That's what's going on between the two brothers. A brother trying to boss his other brother around, basically!

- Total Film

Callum Turner: He's an establishment man. He's worked really hard and rose to the top incredibly quickly. His brother won't conform. Newt sort of sits on the fence, and Theseus is a man of action.

- Entertainment Weekly: The Ultimate Guide to Fantastic Beasts

Callum Turner: He [Theseus] decided to fight the good fight by joining the Ministry, whereas Newt is part of the rebellion. They're both on the same side, but fighting in very different ways. Other than that key detail, the brothers clearly care for one another. While Theseus may be a bit more self-assured and confident than Newt, they share a deep sense of humanity.

- The Archive of Magic: The Film Wizardry of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Callum Turner: What was important was not to focus on that friction but to try and understand maybe why. You look at the facts: [Theseus] is very successful through the establishment, and wants Newt to join and fight the good fight in the way that he knows how and the way that he thinks best. Newt doesn’t want to do that.

- Fandom Interview

Callum Turner: He is on the promise to fight the good fight in the ways he knows how, which means that he has to conform to the rules and the regulations of which the wizarding society is deemed acceptable within the establishment. He doesn't think that Newt's doing the right thing. Spiritually, I think probably Newt is the one that has figured it out. Yeah. He's doing what he wants.

- HBO Asia

Callum Turner: He’s risen to the top of the ranks at the Ministry, he’s the Head Auror, and is fighting the good fight in the way he knows how. He’s incredibly stubborn and wants his brother, who he understands to be a more powerful, special wizard, to join the fight on his side, through the establishment, which obviously Newt is repelled by and I think that's the journey he goes on. Maybe he's making mistakes or had made mistakes.

- Futurepreviewsllc

Turner wracked his brain trying to figure out why Theseus would be so desperate to get everyone close to him to join the Ministry, and found a simple answer: Protection. “[Theseus] wants to protect his brother, he wants him alongside him, he wants to [know] that his brother will be OK.”

- Fandom Interview

Callum Turner: I think Theseus and Newt are complete opposites. He's worried about his brother and he wants his brother to basically do what he wants and to fight the good fight in the way that he know how, which is through the establishment. He does it through love. It's like an overbearing thing and that's obviously the worst thing possible for Newt.

- Crimes of Grindelwald UK Premiere

What does your character think of Newt’s newfound success? Does he resent him at all for it?

Callum Turner: I think there’s a sort of a relief. Theseus is really successful. He’s a very determined man to reach the top, and I think having his younger brother sort of float around in this obscurity, in a sense, was quite worrying for him.

- Collider

Callum Turner: And with Newt, the thing that drives Theseus actually is love. It’s very important to him, the brotherly thing. It’s not that he’s the older brother and, ‘You’re going to do what I say.’ There is that element to it, too, but I think the friction really is in Theseus suffocating Newt. Theseus is overprotective of Newt and doesn’t allow him space. But really that comes out of love.

- No More Work Horse

Callum Turner: As brothers separate at times, this is the moment that they have. We refind them. He's risen to the top of the Ministry of Magic and he's quite successful, quite stubborn, but this is a man that loves and this is a man that cares deeply about humanity in the wizarding world and his fiancee and also his brother, and I think that's where the stress comes between the two is that he wants to protect Newt and he wants to look after Newt, but Newt doesn't need it, but Theseus can't see that. And that's the dynamic. That's why older brother telling younger brother what to do, younger brother saying, "See you later."

- Sensacine

Callum Turner: I didn't grow up with a younger brother -- I have a half-brother but we didn't grow up with each other -- and my research was to understand what that's like, and to get into why Newt doesn't like him and why they don't connect. The communication has gone bad. Theseus is very head-in-the-sand in a sense. He's blind to what Newt needs, and, objectively, there's a selfishness to that and an arrogance to that and a brute force-ness to that. But subjectively, it's about protection and it's about love and it's about caring. Theseus is a carer. He's described as a hugger, and I think he's trying to hug the whole world. Newt, in particular. When you aren't able to give what someone needs, to facilitate what they need, you then either push them away -- which he does -- or suffocate. I think the friction between them is Theseus doesn't understand what Newt wants, and he is overbearing. It's almost like he's got him in a big, old bear hug and Newt doesn't want that at all.

- Etonline

The actor [Callum Turner] also found that it was easy to find similarities between the two characters, both from a character standpoint (they’re both “stubborn in their ideologies”)

- Fandom Interview

Callum Turner: I had obviously seen the first film, and then I looked at Newt and thought I’d do the complete opposite – because Theseus is the complete opposite. Even though they’re very similar – and the similarities are through their stubbornness, and being successful, driven and powerful – it wouldn’t make sense if they were the same. There were little things, like having ankle swingers, I call them, in the costume; that was a nod to being brothers. But then, the writing’s so brilliant and layered and textured that it was awfully free, really.

No More Work Horse

Callum Turner: We tried to find loads of little touches that would draw the brothers together, like little details in the pocket square, or the tie pin, or having the trousers a little shorter at the bottom, that would link the two together. There’s a panache to Newt, and to Theseus, too — but it’s subtle. He’s engaged to Zoë Kravitz, so he’s got to have some style.

- Fandom Interview

Eight years Newt's senior ( although Turner is nine years younger than Eddie Redmaync), Theseus is less eccentric to the eye. 'Generally, he is part of the world, dressed in a fine suit,' says Turner. 'But there are tiny similarities between his and Newt's look: ankle swingers, a pocket square, these wizard-ish touches in the shapes of the lapel and the collar.'

- Lights, Camera, Magic!: The Making of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Hair and makeup designer Fae Hammond didn't have to do much with Callum Turner's hair in order to make it look like he and Eddie Redmayne were brothers, just lighten it. Her challenge, however, was that Callum has no freckles. and Eddie has a well-known smattering across his face. 'So one of my team ... Carefully freckled him up,' says Fae. 'But its a work of art and really necessary,' she confirms. Freckling took about fifty minutes each day.

- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald: Movie Magic

Rebuffed, she comes to a halt. NEWT walks away toward THESEUS, who is very like NEWT, but more outgoing, easier in manner. THESEUS winks at LETA before turning to NEWT.

- Secrets of Dumbledore: The Original Screenplay

Callum Turner: He’s my younger brother. They love each other. It’s a lot of fun playing an older brother as well, someone who’s very sturdy, a war hero and we’re doing a scene today and Eddie gets slapped by Grindelwald with a spell and I was like my instinct in this kept saying, “Get up." You know. "Get up.” Not like, "Are you OK?” “Get up.” Like looking after him. I have a half-brother and a half-sister, but they grow up in Australia, so I didn’t grow up with them. So I didn’t know what it was really like being an older brother, feeding into that “get up” thing. Normally I’d be like, “Are you OK?” I actually did a lot of research for that. That was an important thing for me, to find the essence of being an older brother, and someone... I mean Newt is a worry for Theseus.

- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 7

Callum Turner: And with Newt, it was very important not to play the hardened brother because that's not what he is. And I think the relationship between Newt and Theseus is that Newt is running away. Theseus is worried about Newt. He thinks he's slightly odd, he's not part of the same society or the system that he's in, and Theseus is actually trying to drag him into line, into what Theseus thinks Newt should be. And I think that's the mistake. But actually, it's born out of love. It's not born out of authority or anything. He's worried and he realizes the world around them is crumbling. He says it to him at the beginning of the film. "You have to pick a side. You have to make a choice." And that's the theme of the film, for me. And actually, what he's doing is suffocating him. He's not allowing him to breathe, instead of that "Easy, easy." I'm sure Newt, then, would be like, "Hey, Theseus, what's going on?" But he's not. He's like, "Do this. Do that. Because I know best." And that's the similarity between the two. They're so stubborn. Theseus says, "Do this," and Newt just goes, "No," straight away. He doesn't even think about... and that's the beauty; by the end of the film they're in line and they take force of the situation that they're in. But their ideologies combine, in a sense.

- Mugglenet

David Heyman: Family is a big part of it, and, you know, it's both the family you're born with and the family you make. That's a big part of, I think, of the themes of Jo's work. So family is a part of it, including the relationship between Newt and Theseus. Seeing Eddie and Callum next to each other, they really do feel like brothers, and you know, Theseus is a Ministry man, but Newt is still his brother, and that relationship is really beautiful and strong. So to answer your question, yes, family is very much a part of it, where you come from, who you are.

- Collider

David Heyman: Callum brings such an authority and an authenticity to the part. I mean, you really believe that he’s Eddie’s brother and, as he so rightly said, they are opposites and yet are very clearly brothers. And what he did so brilliantly in his audition – and it’s in Jo’s [J.K. Rowling’s] writing, as well – was that you had a sense that these two people have a history. So, there is both an affection, but also a little bit of that brotherly or fraternal thing, which I think really comes across. And, you know, Theseus is a Ministry man. Newt is not a Ministry man. That brotherly love, I think, is one of the heartbeats of the film.

- No More Work Horse

THESEUS: This isn't going to be like the other times. This is . . . Just try and keep an open mind, will you? And maybe a little less— A wordless gesture indicates Pickett, NEWT'S blue coat, and his messy hair.

NEWT —like me?

THESEUS (not without affection): Well, it can't hurt. Come on, let's go.

- Crimes of Grindelwald: The Original Screenplay

David Heyman: But what I love about brothers in this film is that ultimately, brotherhood is more important than anything and that the two of them begin on opposite sides of it. Theseus is a Ministry man and Newt is anti-establishment. And yet, even while that is going on, Theseus whispers in his ear, "They're following you," which is a betrayal of the Ministry, but it is his brother and he's trying to get his brother to go to him. He's trying to help him, I think, not because he wants him to be on the Ministry's side. He knows what's true for Newt. And he wants to help. So the way these people both move, Newt comes through realizing he's going to have to join the battle, and Theseus realizes he might have to do it outside of the traditional Ministry platform. They're doing it as brothers, stronger together.

- Mugglenet

Callum Turner: I hope they are friends. I hope they they are best buds. I think they deserve to be friends, right? There’s been a lot of bad press in the press about their relationship. I’m sick of it.

Eddie Redmayne: I feel like by the end, they really bond in this film. It’s an amazing thing in family, isn’ it? Where you have difficult times and dynamics, moments when there’s friction and then something happens and you kind of lean into each other a bit. I’m excited for the prospect of the Scamander brothers taking on the world together.

- IGN España

NEWT shuffles over awkwardly to the bereft THESEUS. NEWT hesitates, struggling to find words of comfort. Then, for the first time in his life, he puts his arms around his brother. They hug.

- Crimes of Grindelwald: The Original Screenplay

Secrets of Dumbledore:

Eddie Redmayne: One of the key themes is siblings really. It's there with my brother Theseus played by Callum Turner who I adore, and the complexity of those relationships in families when you're all of the same blood, but you've got completely different personality traits, and you have great love even though you are entirely different people.

- ChicagoSciFi

Eddie Redmayne: Newt is not a social animal. He is much more at ease with his creatures. He' s not inherently someone that' s good at being part of the system and he didn' t really fit in at school. In fact, he ended up being thrown out! Whereas Theseus is very much the schoolboy hero who' s gone into a life within the Ministry, was a war hero himself and has a physical authority and a facility with people that Newt just doesn' t have. So they' re sort of chalk and cheese and yet because in this movie they have to work together they begin to realise that actually they complement each other quite well.

- Secrets of Dumbledore: The Original Screenplay

Callum Turner: Between the brothers, they're re-entering a stage in their relationship that they haven't been there for a long time probably since they were kids, both of them trying to be more open with the other, I'd say that Theseus maybe a little bit more than Newt, and they're developing an understanding, a respect for the way that the other person thinks and using that for the greater good.

- ChicagoSciFi

Callum Turner: Well, I think what's so brilliant about the way that Steve and J.K. wrote this relationship is that it's complex. It's like two brothers that have a fractured relationship of growing apart, unfortunately, for every reason, and I think the reason is that they both think they are right. With this one, they align themselves. They both allow themselves to be slightly more flexible and see the way the other fuses the world a little bit more, and that allows them to come together to fight the good fight together.

- Secrets of Dumbledore Interview

#fantastic beasts #crimes of grindelwald #newt scamander #coginterview #theseus scamander #scamander brothers #callum turner #eddie redmayne #david yates #fb3interview #cogbook #archive of magic #lights camera magic!#makers mysteries and magic #fb analysis #fae hammond #secrets of dumbledore

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theredmaynefiles · 9 months

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My Story: A Journey of Loss & Depression

Let me start by saying this isn't a blog about Eddie. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this here, except that for the longest time, I've needed some sort of outlet for some of the things I'm struggling with... and as this is my only blog, I guess this is it. Maybe someone out there will read this & be able to relate. Maybe it will help explain why my blog on Eddie has gone largely silent. Or maybe no one will even notice. Whatever. I need to get this out.

So first of all, hey there, I'm Marci. You know me as an Eddie Redmayne blogger, but I'm also a mom to a son who has ASD & a person who has dealt with what seems - to me, at least - to have been a lot of crap to cope with over the past 8 years. And I've reached a point where coping is more like just existing but more on that in a bit. Maybe.

My dad was always the strongest person I've ever known. He wasn't perfect, but he was one of those dads that could fix anything & always knew the answers to anything you want to know. In October 2013, my dad was diagnosed with cancer - specifically non-Hodgkins lymphoma. My family wasn't new to this particular diagnosis, as my brother, Jeff, was diagnosed with the same cancer in 1999. At this point, Jeff was considered in remission after successfully completing chemo & radiation treatment. So we thought we knew what to expect. Thing is, dad's cancer was in his stomach (my brother's started in his neck) & it was extremely aggressive. I became my father's caregiver. Besides cancer, he was diabetic & dealing with kidney failure. We saw doctors 3-5 times a week for the next year+. My dad went through 3 different types of chemo, including one clinical trial. None of it made any difference, and the cancer continued to spread. In January 2015, he was put on hospice, & in May 2015, my dad died. I wasn't entirely unprepared for this - I mean he was on hospice, & I've worked at a hospital & nursing home, & seen how this sort of things goes many times, but seeing it happen to your own dad - & someone who was so freaking strong - was really rough. It was a horrible experience.

After dad passed, a lot of things changed. Jake & I moved into a house my dad had left us, leaving my mom (with whom I'd always had a very complicated relationship, to say the least) on her own. In late 2016, while watching 'Fantastic Beasts', Jake suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!" It caught my interest, & my blog was born of it. For the next year & a half or so, it was an amazing creative outlet for me. Eddie is an incredibly talented actor & a truly kind-hearted human being, who actually makes it a point to connect with his fans. I've spoken to him a few times during the fan interviews, & he even wrote me a letter during the pandemic, which was both shocking & awesome. To be honest, though, the best thing about my blog was meeting Charlotte, AKA @bespokeredmayne, who has become one of my dearest friends, & is an amazing person in her own right. (total shout out there!)

My mom didn't cope well with my dad’s passing, & in March 2018, she had a stroke. She died less than a month later. I've already said we had a complicated relationship - without going into that much more, my mom was a narcissist who enjoyed hurting people. My feelings about her are still not great, even after she's been gone for over 5 years. I have a lot of guilt about that, but it is what it is. What I don't understand is why, after she died, my creativity died, too. I couldn't blog anymore. Mind you, at this same time, I was dealing with some health issues - I'd been having mobility issues, which I started seeing a doctor for in early 2018, but mom's sudden passing kind of shunted all of that to the side. Still, I can't even begin to explain the way things changed for me, much less to understand why I was so affected.

The next year was okay, we went to England, which was a lifelong dream, & things seemed like they were mostly going well enough, despite my increasing mobility issues as well as memory issues. While sorting through all our parents' stuff to get their house ready to sell, my brother, Jeff, and I became closer - we'd always been reasonably close, I guess. We got along well as siblings, despite an age gap of just over 10 years (he was older). He'd looked out for me when I was little & we were friends as adults, which is more than either of us could say about our other sibling, who has been estranged from us both since the 90s. So, yeah... we were pretty close.

So I mentioned about mobility issues, memory issues, etc. I had thought that at least part of this was some kind of ongoing complications from a car wreck I was in back in '95. Turns out, it wasn't - I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 3 years ago. In the time since then, with the pandemic in full swing for much of the time, I became homebound. Besides the MS, I have asthma, & also a vaccine allergy. Between that & the autoimmune disease, I cannot be vaccinated, & I am at high rick for severe covid because of my health. Ironic, no? Add that to my increasing mobility issues & my life became more & more isolated.

The summer of 2021, my brother, in his 50s at the time, was diagnosed with heart failure. The cardiologist he was referred to said this was likely a complication of the chemo he'd had years earlier. In December 2021, just a few days before my birthday, he texted me that he was going to the e/r - this was around 2 in the morning. He texted me one more time after that, & then... nothing. I kept trying to get ahold of him, or the hospital, to find out what was going on, but no one answered until about 4 hours later, when I finally got someone at the e/r. To my absolute shock, she told me my brother was dead. He died less than an hour after his last text to me, of a sudden cardiac arrest. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. To this day, I cannot really cope with it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard - I see people who cope with loss & move on, & I did that with my parents, but this one, I couldn't. It was like it was too much, losing both parents & then my brother. It has destroyed me in some way. I'm not the person I was before. So much loss, & then everything else....

One the day my brother died, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to him. I didn't leave my house again until about 4 weeks ago when our cat needed the emergency vet. For a year & a half, I stayed home. (& I haven’t gone out again since bringing our cat home) I work from home as a data analyst. I pay my bills online, & have my groceries, etc, delivered. The only person I see is Jake. My world is so isolated & so depressing. I'm very limited in what I can physically do & that adds massively to the depression. Plus, & this will probably sound selfish, but it's true nonetheless, ever since my brother died, I've felt this sense of impending doom & hopelessness. Like I'm next & it's only a matter of time. I don't know what to do about any of it. I sit here, in my messy house (I hate mess, but I can't physically do most of the cleaning, & Jake doesn't really do cleaning, despite being a huge help to me in other ways) & I exist. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. I feel not only so depressed, but such a horrible anxiety about my life, & about what will happen to Jake if something happens to me. And yet I feel totally helpless to do anything to change any of it. I just feel so emotionally exhausted all the time, like I can't cope with anything at all.

So, yeah... that's me. If you've made it this far, you're probably either bored to tears or disgusted with my moaning. Still, if you've read this, thanks. If anyone reads it, at least I'm not keeping it all to myself anymore. Maybe offloading all of this here will somehow make it easier for me to cope with it. Either way, it's out!

#depression loss ms

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aromantic-enjolras · 2 years

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Actors in Les Mis (2012), by me

Huck Jackman (Jean Valjean): Not even trying. Also, I haaaaaate his vibrato, but that’s just me.

Colm Wilkinson (The Bishop): It hurts very very badly to say anything bad about the guy who gave us the best version of ‘Bring Him Home’ out there, but he was badly miscast. He doesn’t have the right range for this role.

Anne Hathaway (Fantine): Less bad than I remembered, still not singing and I hate it.

Russell Crowe (Javert): Gets too much shit. Second best singer in terms of hitting notes in the first third of the movie. Cast in the wrong genre, sounds good when he isn’t trying to sound operatic and failing.

Sasha Baron Cohen (M. Thénardier): Still not my cup of tea. Less cringy than I remembered.

Helena Boham-Carter (Mme. Thénardier): She’s so pretty. Her singing is decent.... I guess.

Isabelle Allen (child Cosette): when the best singer in the first third of the movie is a literal child, you know your musical has issues.

Eddie Redmayne (Marius): Miss Hathaway, learn from your peers. You can emote as fuck, cry on camera and hit your notes. Well done, man.

Amanda Seyfried (adult Cosette): She sounds like a songbird (positive). Definitely learned to sing from his dad in terms of oversung vibrato.

Samantha Barks (Éponine): Learn from the pros, people. I actually thought “well, of course I like her more, she has the first solo of the musical..... wait what” at ‘On My Own’.

Daniel Huttlestone (Gavroche): I like the Gavroche we got in our show better, but he’s decent.

Aaron Tveit (Enjolras): BLORBO. BLORBO BLORBO BLORBO. Also, good singer, but I was mostly vibrating in my seat, I’m not objective here.

Honorable mention - George Blagden (Grantaire): GAY.

#Les Misérables #text posts #Les Misérables (the movie)#performers #Jean Valjean #Bishop Myriel #Fantine #The Thénardiers #Javert #Cosette #Marius Pontmercy #Éponine #Gavroche #Enjolras #Grantaire

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scamanderishredmayniac · 1 year

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I came upon this post on twitter, and out of curiosity seeing alt written in the corner of the GIF made me curious. I’d never tried having voice over read the alt text on a Gif before, so I thought I’d give it a try.

It was the most bizarre thing I’d heard with voice over to date. Instead of it reading the whole thing in English, parts of it was read in Chinese? Well I thought I heard the word Fantabi, so I’m guessing. But anyway it read in a different language and then part of it in English. I don’t know if that’s because the OP edited the post like that, or if the person who originally created the Gif coded the alt text like that. Or is this normal for Gifs in general? I’m curious what the alt text in the other language translated to. Lol! Was it a more descriptive explanation of what was in the Gif? Anyway that was interesting, wasn’t expecting that. If you’re wondering what the English description side of alt text was, it said Eddie Redmayne Gif.

Now can someone direct me to a charmed suitcase devoid of humans please. Sometimes you just need quiet time.

Post edit: a screen cap of voice over reading the alt text.

#personal thoughts #eddie redmayne #newt scamander #fantastic beasts #gifs #alt text musings #accessibility #screen reader

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lunatheseus · 9 months

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Movie/TV show ships that I'm thankful for and why

Beast Boy x Raven / Garfield x Rachael: Honestly, Teen Titans Go didn't do it for me when it came to this ship because it was almost too silly and cringe, but the live action (I know, I know, the actors have a HUGE age gap, but when talking about the CHARACTERS) really helped me visualize. It's not just about their romantic chemistry at this point (there's plenty of time for that later), but they already had a connection from the start, and that's incredibly important. They already care so much about each other that setting up their romance might be a little underwhelming tbh. They've already established that Gar has feelings/cares immensely for Rachael, and vice versa. They're also seen cuddling on a couch together, so it's not too far-fetched, you know?

Tina Goldstein x Newt Scamander: Honestly, this is already confirmed endgame. In the Harry Potter movies, it is already written in print that these two are endgame, so watching Fantastic Beasts (that occurs before Harry Potter) is incredibly comforting. These two are honestly my comfort couple, and sometimes I wish I could have what they did. My only ick is that Tina isn't around for the entire third movie? which is a little strange. I miss their quiet interactions and such. I also hate how she became so jealous of Leta so quickly without even checking with Newt... like what? Why? He's so in love with you, can't you tell? (Kudos to Eddie Redmayne for really selling the character) ... Anyway, I could go on. I'm just glad that when it comes to Fantastic Beasts, I don't have to focus so much on the rockiness of everyone's love lives and really focus on the real plot of the movie.

Wylan Van Eck x Jesper Fahey: OML do I really have to explain? Ok first off, MAJOR kudos to the actors (good job Kit and Jack) for having INSANE chemistry onscreen. The secretly insecure on the inside but confident on the outside Jesper Fahey falls in love with the shy but extremely intelligent Wylan Van Ek?? Yes please! These two are also SUCH a comfort couple of mine and I could not stop squealing on the inside when I watched their scenes in Shadow and Bone. They-UGH I can't its so good.

Nina Zenik and Matthias Helvar: I know, I know, in the books it doesn't exactly end well, but I love the Sunshine x Grumpy + Enemies-to-Lovers trope that these two absolutely embody. They teach each other so much and I really really hope Matthias doesn't get kicked off in future seasons.

Kaz Brekker x Inej Ghafa: Ok sooooo they're a little problematic, but that's the point. Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that Inej says that she'll have him without his gloves, or not at all. I love that her character decides that it's not her job to "fix" Kaz. That's a really overused plotline, where one person fixes the person they love and helps them out of their trauma. Inej understands that Kaz needs to come to terms with his own fears and feelings by himself. I also love that Kaz keeps Inej around just to be in her presence, while she comes back from her adventures to visit to be in his.

May I also add that the entire cast of Shadow and Bone are an absolute VIBE! I love the chemistry they have with each other both on and off screen. I am absolutely in LOVE!

The Eleventh Doctor x Clara: This'll be short but I love how they challenge each other and enjoy each other's company at the same time. I was really sad when he changed faces and didn't end up with Clara. They (the actors I guess too) had insane chemistry and banter, which I personally am a sucker for, and I wish that they had more screen time together.

Daphne Bridgerton x Simon Basset: Again with the banter + friends-to-lovers + Simon's speech to the Queen!!! I wish talked more, you know, incorporate the open communication so that all of the misunderstandings would have never happened.

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