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fluffalpenguin · 10 months

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@arcvmonth day 24: the manga

oh man oh MAN it's vj day!!!!!

it's pretty funny how all my gifs are mostly yuri-centered huh

Under the cut:

revisiting my review of the manga from last year

Headcanons and fic/comic ideas

rambling about an old WIP

small playlist! (with write-ups!)

First of all, here's the 3,000 words analysis/blog thing I wrote last year when I first finished it.

One and a half years later, I still largely agree with it! There's some headcanons I wrote in there that I completely forgot about, lol, so I'm glad past me posted it somewhere for current me to relieve it again! (The rants were also kind of funny to re-read too)

***

Next, headcanons!

Lately, I found myself wondering about Yuto and Yuri's outfits; specifically-

...Why are they walking around Maiami with dramatic red/black capes?

After some time in the kitchen, I decided that when Yuya was younger, he was really into good versus evil roles when rehearsing his dueltainment lines. And who else better to serve as his practice opponents than his two brothers who aren't off busy making rounds at the stadium on a D-Wheel?

Tying his own fluffy, white towel around his shoulders, Yuya throws a nearby black blanket to Yuto. The oldest is initially a little embarrassed about the notion, but no one can ever say no to the baby of the Sakaki family, can they? (He'll just have to live the shame down from the twins later on... They barely even respect him as they are right now, anyway) In the middle of the duel, Yuri walks in onto the two of them after having finished his homework (or tweaking his deck). He raises an eyebrow at Yuto's appearance, but gets the gist of the situation when he sees their duel disks activated and Yuya standing on top of the sofa in a similar attire. As Yuto steals Yuya's schtick and becomes a tomato, Yuri pouts about being left out and quickly leaves to hunt for something that will allow him to join the fun. When the duel ends, Yuto passes the baton to Yuri. As he watches the two rattle off silly, goofy lines like, I will destroy the planet, the universe, all the worlds! and, Never! I'll stop you, fiend!, Yuto sighs in relief. At least Yuya now has Yuri to LARP with. Maybe Yugo would volunteer too, once he returned from driving practice and hears about it. Though, he'd likely ask to play the part of the hero himself. Anyway, Yuto's already almost in middle school; he's getting a little too old to play with costumes now. Then afterwards, at dinner, with an angelic smile Yuya says, "Yuuto, can we play like that again sometime? You look so cool with a cape!"

Yuri on the other hand, always had a tendency for the melodramatic, his own personal spin of the theatrics he's seen from his dad! Deep down he really loves playing the villain.

(This was meant to be a short description but I couldn't help putting some fic-like sentences in there tehe also yes that's a reference to the conversation between Yuya and G.O.D./Eve)

***

(warning: angst ahead)

Another headcanon I have that I want to write/draw something for is that in the postcanon where Reiji, Yuya, Isaac and Ren travel through space and time together, Yuya has moments where he falters to his grief.

He's used to his brothers commenting and nagging him on almost anything and everything (A midnight snack? Think about your complexion, Yuya!) and his world is suddenly a lot more quiet. In his hurt, he starts to avoid Ren, not wanting to be reminded of what he's lost (He doesn't feel good about it).

Eventually Reiji intervenes and Yuya opens up a little. He's been unable to properly let himself grief for his brothers. All he wants to say is that he misses them.

But he doesn't feel like he has the right to do so, having being the one to seal their fates by personally destroying the one method of bringing them back to life. He doesn't regret his decision of course, but he's unable to stop himself from feeling this way too.

It has a happy ending; Reiji convinces Yuya to talk to Ren. Yuya shares stories about Yugo at Ren's request, making the both of them laugh. Yuya realises that there are other methods of bringing back people to life, too, even if only momentarily.

But it is enough.

***

Misc hcs:

Yuya's charisma and attitude is a combination of his three brothers fawning over his cuteness from birth and Yuya being so star-struck with Yusho's performances he attempted to replicate the movements ever since he could walk.

Being the oldest, Yuto feels a sense of responsibility for his brothers and pledged to take care of them in place of his always-missing parents. However, he oft times finds himself not having to do much because Yugo and Yuri are so determined to win over Yuya's heart (and be proclaimed 'favourite brother') that they also make sure to set a good example for the youngest when possible. This causes Yuto a little bit of an identity crisis (/j it's just for fun) until he settles into his role as the househusband cook.

"All of us... are connected by... the arc of destiny!"

Reiji and Yuya are supposed to be silhouetted by their fathers, so Yuzu is meant to seem like she's looking at Yuya, but is in fact looking at Yusho. I also think VJ Yuto should be allowed to smile more!

This drawing is meant to be my love letter to the manga as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the last duel between Reiji and Yuya. I talked about it a whole ton in the review linked above already, so go check that out if you haven't!!

I was really happy with the composition when I first made this, especially with Sora/Ren/Isaac Versus the Yus mirroring their duels! (Well, okay, I know Isaac didn't duel Yuto but.... just give this to me)

Anyway I really wanted a fun and positive energy for it! Every month I think about returning to this but I get slightly demotivated when I realise I have *zero* colour references for both Ren and Isaac... Please send in your headcanons...

***

Last but not least, last month I got brain worms for another animatic/hand-drawn MV for Eve's Fight Song! I'll never ever have to time to go back to it, but I wanted to take the chance to talk about other songs that make me ill when I think about them with the manga.

1. Myth & Roid - TRAGEDY:ETERNITY

Don’t give me an eternity Even if that’s all I can believe Press pause on the flow of time In the shadow of the blink of an eye I don’t wanna fall into a sleep ‘Cause now you are my remedy Now knocking on, knocking on, knocking on my brain Even for the temptation of a nightmare Fate demands a costly reparation for its fare

Translated lyrics mostly from lyrical-nonsense, but I made some changes for better rhyming and flow yahoo!! This song is what I imagine the OP would be in my dreams when it received an anime adaptation, I've always dreamed of making my own animatic to it!!

Not just the chorus, but the ENTIRE SONG (pleeeease go take a look at the lyrics) feels like it's made for the manga please please go take a look

2. MYTH & ROID - -to the future days

I cast my wishes to the future days If we can meet on the other side of eternity… I cast my wishes to the future days What should we talk about first? Sadness and even joy will, eventually Will sleep together That's the way life is If such a world could be granted Would nobody feel hurt anymore?

Yeah I like M&R quite a bit, how'd you know

If T:E was the hypothetical OP, this is my pick for the ED theme, like AAAAAAAA for me it encompasses the yu's story so so so so so so so well, though

And:

Both despair and also life come to end eventually Take this future into your hands and let it run its course Spin it ’round…… The hands on the clock spin around Like flowers, petals falling and fluttering Once we blossom, we dissipate in the moment THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE LYRICS ARGHHHHHHHH This is definitely for me, the moment when the three yus start to fade during Yuya's battle with Eve, their last conversation they have with yuya..... *lies onto the ground in a pile of misery*

Rest of the lyrics HERE shoves it into your face

3. MAISONdes - Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous

It's no joke, no it's not! Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous Even when the time comes nothing will come of it Vague truths only become melancholy Come on and snatch me away now, take on me!

This is a fun one, when I watched the PV and in the chorus Lum was spinning I instantly went wow what if that was Phantom.. and then the lyrics bared their claws and sunk them into my brain and hasn't really let go since

Unlike the above two songs, not all of the lyrics are a perfect match, of course, but I adore how in general the whimsical yet lonely nature of the song feels like it fits Phantom so well!

4. Eve - Fight Song

As the night still refuses to end, let’s dream

Last but not least the song I posted the above storyboard for! CSM fans (as well as Eve fans, lol) are probably already familiar with the song, and full lyrics here, though like the song above, only parts of the song (particularly the chorus) really resonated with the vj brainworms in my head lol Even for me, y’know Let’s make a break for the future Towards the verge of death like we pray for A boy that gave his word Today, just like back then As if there’s no more future ahead

Sigh.... Yuto, Yugo, Yuri................ Just let out your voice Let’s take it easy We don’t even know common sense, so we know the world through wise eyes These overflowing feelings, behold Greet me with an applause

I love the first half a lot, I can easily imagine Yuya saying it to the other three... and of course, the latter, from him to the world! (or perhaps even G.O.D...)

As always thanks for reading GOODBYE I GOTTA GO DRAW SOME ARC-V OCS

#arc-v #arcvmonth2023 #arcvmonth #arc-v manga #pasu does not shut up

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motleyfam · 1 year

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I posted 2,267 times in 2022

36 posts created (2%)

2,231 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desperatecheesecubes

@mooitstimdrake

@batshit-birds

@sohotthateveryonedied

@sun-moon-stars-jedi

I tagged 454 of my posts in 2022

#the batman - 25 posts

#fave - 18 posts

#batfam - 9 posts

#atla - 9 posts

#bruce wayne - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 7 posts

#damian wayne - 6 posts

#this sparks joy - 6 posts

#amen - 6 posts

#tim drake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#thinking of that ‘superman wrecking a whole ass train to save a child on the tracks who he could have just swooped away from danger’ post

My Top Posts in 2022:

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself ☠️

90 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

Imagine Bruce starting therapy and learning about all these cool new tricks and gadgets that can help with emotional regulation and getting super invested (because I mean, c’mon, the dude’s like the king of gadget hoarding, he’s got a utility belt for goodness sake)

Then imagine the learning curve of him realizing that just because something works great for one of his kids, doesn’t mean it works for all of them, as illustrated by this memorable incident:

Jason gets really upset and starts having a minor panic attack about something

Bruce, proud owner of 14 new weighted blankets (in various styles, weights, and sizes), tries to wrap his adult son up in one to ground him

After all, Bruce himself finds them super comforting because it’s basically a socially acceptable alternative to wearing a massive Kevlar cape 24/7 like he’d do if he could

(Tim loves them too, so like, kid tested, parent approved™️)

Ends up totally backfiring when the added weight & restricted movement sends Jason into a full-blown flashback of digging out of his own grave, taking this panic attack from like a 4 to a 10

Whoops

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

Sometimes I get really hung up on trying to make all the logistics and time frame work out in my fanfics

Then I see how the professionals handle this dilemma:

211 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

I have a headcanon that Dick doesn’t actually like cereal nearly as much as he pretends to.

He just knew that Bruce felt bad about his own cooking ineptitude in the early days after taking his new ward in, so whenever Alfred had the night off, the 9-year-old insisted cereal was his ‘favorite food on the planet’ because it was something that Bruce could actually handle preparing for him without setting off the smoke alarms and it made him happy to do it

372 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim hardly ever wears seatbelts.

It’s not a conscious choice at this point really, he just never got into the habit. When he outgrew his last car seat at age five, his parents didn’t bother getting him a booster and just let him sit in the normal seat, so the belt always felt like it was cutting into his neck and he hated it. He put up a big fuss about it once on the way to some important event, and his parents just huffed, “Fine, don’t wear it then. Fly out the window for all I care” and that was that. They never forced him again.

He just so rarely has to wear one that it slips his mind. Buses don’t have seatbelts. Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts. The Batmobile has them, but they’re rarely used due to the necessity for split-second drop ins and getaways.

It’s not until he’s 17 and driving with Jason somewhere that he finally gets called out on it. Not only called out, but told in a no nonsense sort of way “This car ain’t moving till I hear a fucking click. What, did they stop showing ‘Red Asphalt’ in drivers ed while I was dead??”

(They do still show it. Tim just slept through that class)

557 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Okay apparently I need to work on my tagging skills lmao

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mimicdragon · 17 days

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Prompt: What prompted your awakening? Did it happen slowly, quickly, somewhere in-between?

Oh honestly it seemed like it came out of no where.

I can think back plenty but I never really connected anything about me in interests, traits, feelings, what have you to nonhumanity or anything like that before. It was just it exists and never thought about it more.

It was more of a case of, someone else woke me up to the idea that something else might have been going on.

Now the specifics I can't really remember anymore but I believe it all started with with me accidentally insulting a friend of mine. He had ate some food I made for a different friend, so I called him a rat. He took heavy offense and insisted how 'I'm a kitty cat not a rat'. For a while I genuinely didn't get it, especially since he insisted he was a baby cat and he was older than I was, though he never stopped being very adamant about it.

I don't remember what made me start to understand or accept it. But from that point it made me ask that mutual friend he ate the food of for more information on it and if that means anyone could happen to be something as random as a kitty cat (I really couldn't parse old man being a baby cat I'm sorry my friend) and he explained to me in very blunt terms about the community of otherkind, fictionkind, even heartedness and linktypes and all that right then and there on the spot.

Still then I admit I didn't really feel it had anything to do with me for months, but at least I knew about it.

It was finding an adopt on sale that full awoken me to having some sort of nonhumanity of my own. It's the reason I still say I have a 'sudo ockintype'. That character itself isn't it, I've found more past it, but because that adopt (which I ended up luckily buying) was what woke me there is something special to me in that connection and thus I can't really just fully move past it.

His traits and appearance and the aspects to his character I instantly attached to him by first sight just awoke something so primal and important to me. It was like it unlocked the ability to see more of myself than I knew was there.

I legit cried and was freaking out since I had no idea what to even do with this emotion, other than buy the damn thing, and try to talk to that friend who told me the information about the communities to talk it out. Was this what he meant? Was this like what the kitten friend was dealing with?

And he walked through things with me. The kitten friend is the one who later has been helping me try to draw out that kintype more fully and accurately. (having made the banner for this blog in one of his images).

Just yeah.

Beyond that opening him up, that 'oc' type also woke me up to realizing I was feeling something similar while playing Pokémon Legends Arceus that also was having some signs even before I played the game. Being drawn specifically to Sinnoh region and the like, among other things.

uh yeah. mostly finding, and buying, an up-for-sale character is what woke me up, and probably only because a friend of mine already told me about the concept before hand.

Otherwise I have no idea how I would have reacted finding that character. I might have just suppressed the feeling instead of straight up going to my friend for advice. I can't see myself comfortable going without having known to him 'yeah I have weird feelings towards this character I got can you help' nope nope nope can't see that happening but I wouldn't have thought to look it up either.

#nonhuman #otherkin #fictionkin #blog challenges #<- my prompt answers post tag at this point

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kiunlo · 2 years

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Okay, so I have a whole entire bird journal that I write in, dedicated to recording any sightings I've had of native and invasive species of birds, any bird calls I have heard, and also drawings of said birds that live in my area. I usually stick most of my sightings in that book and keep it separate from my blog since it's mostly for me rather than anyone else.

However. I've noticed something kind of interesting in one of the native birds in my local area.

So, the Weebill is one of the birds that I saw today, and at first I didn't really know what kind of bird I was looking at, I simply committed the appearance to memory and then when I got home me and my mum (who knows way more about birds than I do) did some research to figure out the bird's common name as my mum already knew what bird I was talking about, but my mum called it a Weetit rather than a Weebill and couldn't find anything about Weetits (lmao) but we eventually figure it out. I wanted to learn more about Weebills, because when I saw the birdies on my walk they seemed so severely tiny that I couldn't believe that birds could even get that small. They were certainly smaller than the Superb Fairy Wrens, the only other seriously small bird in my local area (probably the second smallest).

Now, the Weebills are the smallest bird in Australia, so it should be no surprise that are are really tiny, but when I decided to look up more information about the Weebills so I could get an exact size in cm, all of the sources I could find stated that the Weebill was about 8-9 cm, from the tip of the beak, to the tip of the tail. The moment that both myself and my mum read that, we thought, there is no way there are 8-9 cm, because the Weebills we've seen are much smaller than that. Like, if I were to guess the size of the Weebills in our area, I would say they are maybe 5-6 cm, maybe 6-7 cm if I was being really generous. But definitely not 8-9 cm.

Now, I know a few cm difference seems like not a big deal, and for larger birds it really isn't, but the smallest bird in Australia? 5-6cm to 8-9cm is a pretty big size difference. And I wonder if perhaps the Weebills in my local area are smaller than expected? I know that the bird I got a very good look at was not a juvenile, as all the Weebills I saw were the same size, so they must have all been adults.

As I wrote in my bird journal, I can see such a tiny little bird's size being overlooked in certain places of Australia, especially my rural town where there is probably not a single bird researcher in my area at all. Like, I don't think most people in my town really even see the tiny little birds very often, and if they do, probably mis-identify it as a Superb Fairy Wren or the invasive Sparrow. But I feel like the Weebills of my area have to be smaller than 8-9 cm, and I wish there were more avid bird watchers in my town that could help me out because there could be a case here for the Weebills in my local area (my town and the towns surrounding it) being perhaps smaller than the officially recorded size.

It's super interesting, either way, and I thought I'd share it. I will be on the lookout for more Weebills! Because I would like to know how small they actually are here.

#birblr #birdblr #bird watching #bird identification #Weebill #ash's personal tag #aussie birds #birdies

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merminns · 3 years

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The pain that comes with love

Armin Arlert x Reader

❧ Content/Warnings: fluff, angst, very very slight smut at the beginning

❧ Word count: 2.3k

❧ Notes: this is a repost from my old blog

It started out sweet; how he kissed you while his hands rested gently on your hips. The kiss channeled every word his lips failed to say. You felt so much love in the way he held you, the way his lips moved delicately against yours.

The pure emotions in the kiss had you melting in his arms, yet to him, it wasn't enough. His heart held so much adoration for you that it was impossible to express.

Slowly but surely the small kiss turned into a make-out session. Both of your breath growing shallower as you tried to take in as much as you could from each other. It felt as if his very soul was trying to become one with yours.

His grip on your hips tightened as his hips started to grind into yours emitting sweet moans from your lips that he was happy to swallow. He let out groans of his own when you returned the action, the friction between your bodies increasing. You had to pull away for oxygen after what felt like forever, your bodies stilling. Your forehead rested on his, eyes closed as you both regained your senses.

You didn't know what to make of the situation, it was obvious how you both felt for each other. It was blindingly obvious what you both wanted, yet was it right? To be here, sharing this moment with your friend's ex. How would she feel about it? Would she think you're the reason he broke up with her? Would this mark the end of your friendship with her?

One of Armin's hands moved from your hip to your cheek causing your eyes to open. He lifted your face gently urging your troubled eyes to meet his.

"What is it? Was that too much?"

His question surprised you, your eyes meeting his to see them full of concern. It made your heart clench; he stopped moving his hips the second you did. He didn't stop to calm himself like you did. He stopped because he thought you wanted to.

He wasn't going to push you to anything, he wasn't going to make you uncomfortable, not even after the raw emotions you just shared through the kiss.

You had been waiting for any reason to pull back, to get out of his arms and leave, forgetting this ever happened, for the sake of your friend.

The sincere concern he's showing, the way his body remained pressed against yours uncertainly, not knowing whether he should let go of you or pull you further into him, the way he poured his very being into that kiss, the kiss you were sure you'd never forget whether you decided to stay or leave. All of these were reasons that pulled you into him more, combining with the feelings you already hold for him.

It was too much. But not for the reasons he thought. It was too much because you loved that boy with every fiber of your being but there was a pang of undeniable guilt filling your heart whenever you thought of your friend.

You tried to keep your mixed emotions in check as you cast your eyes to the side, your friend's name leaving your lips in a whisper low enough for you to pretend you never said it, yet clear enough he was sure of what he heard.

It didn't take long for the realization to hit him, he suddenly understood what was troubling you, with your presence in his arms, he forgot about anything else he ever knew, but your whisper had been a slap grounding him back into the reality of your situation.

He took a tiny step back both hands now on each of your cheeks, turning your face towards his for your eyes to meet his again.

"I've been in love with you for a very long time," He said slowly making sure you understood every word he said, "long before I started dating her."

The confusion was clear on your face, if he loved you before dating your friend, then why was he dating her? Why didn't he say anything?

You were about to voice your questions but he beat you to it.

"I wanted to tell you, it drove me crazy every time I saw you walking through the hallways, but I never had enough courage," He paused, gauging your reaction to his words. Your eyes portrayed nothing but pure confusion. ‘Then why were you dating her?’ the only thought running through your mind.

"I knew you deserve someone so much better than me. I thought you'd never return my feelings. So, I decided I had to move on. That's when I met her and one thing led to the other." He paused for a breath, eyes still fixated on your widened ones.

"I didn't know you were friends at the time… I tried to ignore your presence whenever you were with her. I really tried to forget the feelings I had for you. " his eyes held nothing but the truth, thumbs caressing across your cheeks gently.

"I tried my best, but I couldn't lie to her anymore… I couldn't lie to myself anymore." He was panting as if the words were enough to draw his breath short and drain him off the energy.

His eyes never left yours. You felt the hands on your face tense slightly when he saw how your eyes started to water. Tears started to form in your eyes slowly as you tried to process his words. It dawned on you that you were, in fact, the reason Armin broke up with your friend. Not only that, but you were also the reason he got together with her in the first place.

He was dating your friend in an attempt to forget you, but he ended up leaving her struggling to forget him, yet you still stood here allowing his arms to hold you and his lips to move against yours.

It is true that you only developed these feelings for Armin when you got to spend time with him after he started dating your friend, but you never had any intention to act on them.

This was wrong. None of this should have happened. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have let him kiss you and most importantly you shouldn't have kissed him back, assuring him that his intense feelings were reciprocated.

Now neither of you would be able to pull back completely. Tears streamed down your face as you sat in the nearest chair, Armin kneeling in front of you. He kept drying away every tear that left your eyes, whispering sweet words to you trying to calm you down.

Maybe, you were slightly overreacting, but you couldn't help but get overwhelmed with the jumble of emotions you held in your heart, it was all too much for you.

Armin didn't dare speak again until you calmed down completely.

"She knows." Were the first words he spoke, and if you hadn't calmed down, the sheer shock they brought you would have been enough for you to forget how to cry at all.

"You told her?" The question left you in a whisper that earned a tiny nod from him.

"The night we broke up, I told her everything, " His eyes never lost the gentle look in them, his heart was breaking to see you like this, because of him, because of an awful situation that he unknowingly created.

He wanted to steal that pained expression away from your face, the one that appeared as you finally understood the odd behavior that your friend had towards you.

She had been pushing you away ever since the breakup, but then again she was pushing everyone away, right? You thought it was simply because she wanted to be alone after what happened. Could it be she only wanted to be away from you?

The thumb that moved gently across your cheek brought you back to reality. Your eyes focused on Armin's sky blue ones as he spoke again, voice as gentle as could be.

"I will never, ever pressure you into anything. I love you more than you can begin to imagine, but if you decide you don't want this… " His words disappeared as his voice broke slightly, tears forming in his own eyes. This was all it took for you to notice the slight shake of his hands. He wasn't as composed as he tried to be and it was showing.

He took a deep breath and started again.

"If you decide that you don't want me, then you can leave and we can forget that anything happened…"

You couldn't even remember what brought you here in the first place, what led to the kiss that tore you into a million pieces, leaving your soul bare in his arms.

You wanted to leave, to run from here straight up to your friend and cry on her shoulder, tell her that you love her, that you never meant to cause her that much pain.

You also wanted to stay, to throw yourself in Armin's arms and tell him you love him too. That you never want to leave him. Not for a second.

Your hand trembled as you moved them over the hand Armin was holding on your cheek.

"I love you too, Armin" Your hand caressed his slowly as your voice broke, tears running down your face again "but I don't know what to do."

"You should forget about me."

Saying these words shocked you would only explain a fraction of how they made you feel. What was even more shocking, was they weren't Armin's words.

You and Armin turned to the owner of the voice standing in the doorway. The door was only slightly open, the hallway dark outside the room, but you were both sure who the owner of the voice was.

"You two should forget about me," Your friend started again, a small smile adorning her face.

She didn't believe she was saying this, she too loved Armin, but when she looked at the two of you, tears running down your faces decorated with all of the pain and uncertainty you were feeling she knew, no love she has would ever compare to the pure feelings you both felt for one another. And she was the only thing standing in between.

"It hurts you know, to know that the person you love has feelings for someone else, " She took a deep breath, the sad smile never leaving her face "but it also hurts me to see you both like this."

She pushed the door open and walked in slowly holding a small bag in her arms.

"Sorry for creeping up on you like that, I only came here to return your stuff, " She said to Armin as she held the bag up.

After a few seconds of stunned silence she took a few steps into the room placing the bag on the ground before turning back to you, her eyes meeting with yours.

"You are the greatest friend I could have ever asked for… I'm hurt, but I'll never think of you any less because of this." The pain in her eyes was evident but it so was sincerity in her voice "We already broke up a while back… you can do whatever you want to do without thinking about me. "

And just like that, just as quickly as your friend had appeared inside the room, she turned around, leaving the both of you stunned, staring at where she was just standing.

After the shock of what happened wore off, your eyes found Armin's again. It was obvious your friend choose to sacrifice her happiness for yours. But something was off.

Her appearance so suddenly was weird and Armin seemed to think the same. You could have sworn the door of the room was not open when you first came here.

Armin stood from where he was kneeling, walking over to the bag your friend left in the middle of the room. After opening the bag and staring inside it for a few moments he turned back to you.

"It's empty… " Armin paused for a few seconds processing his thoughts "I didn't forget any of my belongings with her. She followed you here."

An almost inaudible gasp left you at the revelation. Your friend knew you were coming to Armin's room. She heard everything and decided to interfere to make sure that you don't let yourself lose your chance with Armin because of her.

Armin moved to sit on his bed, waiting for you to process everything. His eyes told you that you still can make the decision you wanted to. You could leave and both of you would forget any of this happened, or you could choose to stay.

After a few moments of silence, you moved out of your chair, Armin eyeing your every move in silence. You sat beside him on the bed, your arms wrapping shyly around the back of his neck.

The move your friend just made was making you feel guilty. This was a sacrifice on her side. But you felt like you could make your decision now without worrying about losing her.

It was true she was hurt, but she didn't blame you for it. And she certainly didn't hate you. It was true this was selfish of you, but you knew you'd never be able to live without Armin, without having your heart break a million times over.

She has guided you to which decision you should make.

As you pulled Armin towards you slowly, his hands moved over your arms settling on your cheeks.

The kiss you shared this time was shy, but it held a promise. A promise for a tomorrow where you would share plenty of kisses, each of them expressing an everlasting love.

Masterlist | Share thoughts with me ☺

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rabbithaver · 3 years

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i have known for awhile that i'm completely replaceable and forgettable. it isn't just my depression saying this. it is actual quantifiable fact. in the past 23 years of my life, i've just been finding more and more evidence that proves this to be true, so you think i would be used to it by now. you'd think it would have stopped hurting by now. after two decades i've had countless experiences proving that no one would notice if i vanished completely from the face of the Earth, but every time it happens, it still cuts deep.

last Friday i caught a seven day ban on Facebook, meaning i am unable to post, comment, react to or like other posts, share posts to my feed for others to see, moderate the groups i run, or even edit old posts. i can’t do ANYTHING except message other people. so for the past week i have been completely silent. inactive. i even deleted the app from my phone so i couldn't instinctively go back and scroll through my feed.

i am much more active on Facebook than anywhere else. i have about 400 friends on my Facebook account, and i often share posts (memes, stories, etc) for them to see. i will share other posts or make my own up to 60 times a day, and it’s extremely rare for me to go radio silent for more than 24 hours. in the past, when i’ve gone quiet, they’ve noticed and checked on me.

they didn’t notice this time. at all. not one person out of the 400 people on my friends list has noticed. if they did notice they never said anything. maybe they didn't care. or maybe they were even relieved that they had a break from me. maybe they're hoping that if they stay quiet, i'll never come back

when i'm having a hard time and posting about it to vent, sometimes my friends say that they always notice when i’m gone because they have my posts marked under ‘Favorites.’ when you mark a person as a ‘Favorite’, their posts will always appear at the top of your feed when you log in -- basically, their posts are given priority over others. this means that the absence of my posts should be very clear. maybe they somehow missed it. though... a horrible part of me wonders if they were just lying out of pity.

in just 3 hours, the ban will be over. it's been seven days since i last posted, liked, commented, or shared, and... nothing. nobody has reached out. nobody has commented on an old post checking that i'm okay. nobody has tagged me, asking if something is wrong. nobody has DMed me. nobody has made a post of their own. hell, nobody has even reached out to my mom to ask if i'm even still alive.

i know they probably have things going on in their own lives, the world is busy and all. but... some of these people are my best friends... and none of them have even realized ive been gone. i know it isn't out of malice; none of them would try to hurt me on purpose like that. they're good people.

it happens on Tumblr, too. every single time my blog has gone inactive for months at a time, when my queue has run out completely, nobody has send in asks or messages. nobody has missed me. it makes sense, though. most people follow well over a thousand other blogs. i'm just a name to them. i'm just a name to you.

it isn't just on the internet. it happens in real life, in almost every single relationship i have with other people. why? it's who i am as a person. i am forgettable. i am replaceable. i am not special in any way. my mediocrity is the only trait i possess that isn't negative.

any possible good quality i could have is worthless because every single person i will ever meet in my entire life is going to know someone better than me. maybe i'm funny sometimes? well, Brad is funnier. maybe i'm okay at drawing? well, Melvin, Steven, and Sarah are all a billion times more skilled. maybe my writing is slightly better than the average person's? yeah, well, that doesn't fucking matter, because everyone on the face of the fucking planet is going to know someone who's a billion times better, so i'd be wasting my time publishing anything.

when people do remember me, it's for the horrible shit i've done. it's for the way i've treated them both in the past and now. it's for the faux pas. it's for the horrible beliefs i held growing up. it's for the biases i still hold now and can't seem to shake. it's for the countless awful social habits i've developed that i can't seem to kick. it's for the endless ways i have disappointed them. it's for the pity they've had for me. it's for the horrible shit i've said to people when i'm in distress. it's for the times i've fucked up so badly in public that they've suffered the worst second-hand embarrassment of their life. it's for my inability to grow as a person. it's for the fact that i am apparently too fucking stupid to unlearn all the awful habits and traits i've picked up from growing up in a conservative family. it's for my abusive personality. it's for my manipulative behavior. it's for the public breakdowns. it's for the failed friendships. it's for my impulsive behavior. it's for my lack of a brain-mouth barrier. it's for my abusers, who i have emulated in all of the worst ways. it's for my refusal to take responsibility for my actions. it's for my tendency to run away from the conflicts i can't handle. it's for the guilt-tripping. it's for my ugly face. it's for the disgust they feel when looking at my body. it's for my complete inability to shut the FUCK up about shit nobody cares about. it's for the fact that i am a judgemental prick. it's for the fact that i am inherently worthless. it's for the fact that i haven't changed in years -- i'm still the exact same piece of shit i've been since middle school. it's for the fact that i somehow get away with every single fuck up, every single argument, every single horrible insult. it's for the fact that i relapse over and over and never make any progress in recovery. it's for the fact that i have never, ever, EVER been good enough. it's for the fact that they're afraid of saying how much they dislike me because they don't want to trigger my worthless fucking feelings. it's for the fact that i brainwash people into caring about me, into thinking i'm a good person with value. it's for the fact that i manipulate people into thinking a friendship with me is a good idea. it's for the fact that i trap people in my life and dont allow them to move on and find someone better.

when people remember me, it's because i am worse than my abusers in every single fucking way. i am just as stupid, angry, bitter, hateful, toxic, manipulative, and dangerous to be around as they were, if not worse. and the best part? they were doing it on purpose. i'm like this because it's intrinsic to who i am. if it wasn't, the years of energy i've put into trying to better myself would've made a difference. they didn't. i really am Like that.

one of these days i'll get over my fears and do myself -- and everyone else -- a favor. if i'm dead they don't have to feel bad about forgetting i exist. if i'm dead, i can't hurt anybody. if i'm dead, i can't trap every single person in my life in a friendship they feel too guilty to escape. if i'm dead they don't have to worry about forgetting me. if i'm dead they don't have to see my stupid 23498234-paragraph-long posts. if i'm dead, they don't have to hear me talk for hours about the stupid shit i like. if i'm dead, they can move on without fearing that i'll panic over being "abandoned." if i'm dead they can be happy. i just need to stop being afraid of pain and i can fix it for everybody.

when people remember me, it's because they wish they never met me.

#terin struggles #suicide cw #self hatred cw #i just want to know what's wrong with me. i just want to know why its so hard for me to be a better person #why is it so hard for me to be good?#good people don't have to try to be good. they just are. the fact that i try so hard and fail anyway? thats proof that i am actually bad #there's a reason so many people have turned on me. it's because they woke up #they saw what i am really like #they tried to warn the others in my life! but i have those people so brainwashed into thinking im good #that they think that the people who woke up were just being mean or toxic #i have them so brainwashed that they think im a good person #which is honestly the worst part #i turn people into zombies.#this is so fucking embarassing hahahah #im sorry. im sorry i keep doing this.

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rainbowoftamaran · 3 years

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Check out my rainbow of friends!

"So, yes, I made all these awesome friends, and I realized that I have a full rainbow! Obviously, that's really amazing and perfect and I just have to show it to anyone who cares!

Nisha - @chainxdancer - is just really cool! She's strong and can fight and she's... I forgot what exactly she is but she's not human and has a tail and horns and she doesn't mind sharing her money or food with me, and if things go as planned I might be able to join her on her adventures soon to earn my own money!

Moonshot - @warriorfortamaran - uh... look. I needed to fill the orange slot, and I do know him. He's a meanie though, typical tamaranean with a side of extra-grumpy. Best you avoid him.

Yuko - @rosecoloredmuses - was so very nice to me! Despite having quite clearly caught me attempting to steal from her, she offered me some of her candies, and oh are those great! Definitely worth our encounter! We didn't have that much time together, since she had to go soon enough, but, it was really cool to meet her and I do consider us friends after this - I mean, you don't give non-friends just free food, right? - and just, I love her sweets and am absolutely convinced that she's a great person to meet!

Sirise - @siriseen - and I met on some other planet. It was really nice to have company during that exploration, and she knows so much! She's also really good at medicine and these things, so like, definitely someone that I'm glad to know! Still not quite sure what that Starfleet is that she belongs to, but, yeah, it's been really fun with her and I do hope that we'll meet again!

Minato - @dxfiedfxte - actually is not dyeing his hair, as he told me! I never thought humans had such a variety in hair-color! It does seem to be a unique thing for him, too, so I probably thought right. It's very awesome to know someone else who has a rather unique hair-color of their species! He's also been really nice to me so far and it's fun to hang out with him!

Perrine - @flusenimkopf - has helped me before with giving that karrn'k Moonshot a bit of what he deserves, even before we got to know one another! She's also not human either, and I think she doesn't know all about where she's from just like how I don't! It's just really cool to hang out with her, and I'm glad we're having some things in common! I'm also very happy to have someone that I can complain about Moonshot to and do stuff to him together with, that's really something I needed.

So yeah, they are all really amazing and awesome to know, so I absolutely suggest that you consider enriching your life by knowing them, too!"

[[This all has been presented to you by Starlight, found on this blog, @rainbowoftamaran . Below the cut you can find some OOC-stuff like credits and the likes.]]

Hello! If you do reach the cut, thank you for checking the OOC blabber behind the post, too! I've been working on this thing for a little bit now. I'm not entirely happy with it, but content enough to post it, as some sort of promo I guess. Please feel no obligation to reblog this, whether you are in this or not, I just had to do something "for Starlight" upon realizing she had the full rainbow together. (Obviously, not saying that friends are something to collect, or anything ridiculous like that, but I'm hopeful that no one of you will understand this wrongly!)

Moonshot is my own blog, as is Starlight, you can find a link to my mainblog and to my other blogs on each of these blogs' pages.

I sorta-copied the rainbow-waterfall-thingie from a copyrighted picture on some of these websites. I didn't use and just erase the watermark, I only took it as example and created my own thing based on it. I do hope that I don't need to credit for that, then - though during my search I found on these pages also pics with watermarks of others so they probably are in no place to call me out for using their pic as base.

In the next paragraph you find info of the pictures, and a little message to each mun in smaller in brackets behind the stuff.

Nisha's pic is taken from here, which was a commission as you can read in the post I linked. (-- I would've liked to not cut her body off quite as early, but these pics were the first I found on your blog outside of that one in your about and liked for this thing, and since they weren't going any further than this I had to cut it there! I do hope you like my choice of picture here and aren't disappointed or something that I didn't show more of Nisha!) Moonshot's pic is an edit, like the 2 other pictures I have of him, of a picture from Touda from Shounen Onmyouji. Yuko's pic is taken from an official picture, as far as I know, simply made transparent. (-- I do hope the picture is one that you like to see of her!) Sirise's pic is an edit of a screenshot showing Poison Ivy from that recent Harley Quinn show. (-- I gotta add that I was like so lucky that you actually mentioned a FC for Sirise of all your muses when I asked you that "random" question! I really wanted to include her but kinda didn't really want to add one actor among anime/cartoon/drawn characters, and when you then mentioned Ivy and I found a fitting appearance, I was so happy to have found a way to include her without mixing RL and animated characters! This thing here is also the reason I made this edit in the first place, but it was cool that I could kinda ask for your opinion on it beforehand through our talks xD) Minato's pic is, as far as I know, from an official source, and again just made transparent so it worked for my thing. (-- I really really tried to find the pic you're having as background in your theme, it looks pretty cool and I was intending to use that, but I couldn't locate it anywhere! So I kept searching, I first had a different pic chosen where he's like, very light blue all over - not in skin or the likes but I mean hair and suit - but that was a little too one-color for me in the end so I chose this one even though I prefer a bit more color! I do hope it's a 'normal' outfit of his and that you like my choice!) Perrine's pic is from here, which is art of the mun of the blog. I wish I could draw so well! (-- Your art is amazing and I'm glad you were alright with someone using it for a thing as long as you still are mentioned!)

Starlight's pic too is an edit, of an official art thingie of Rika Jougasaki from iDOLM@STER (I hope I wrote that right). And yes, she's supposed to be sitting on that cloud.

So, yes, I think this is all I have to say to it! I'm very glad that y'all are interacting with my little rainbow here (and perhaps my other blogs too), you're very awesome and it's an honor and delight to be your mutual and interaction-partner! Thank you!

#🌈 Look at all the colors! 🌈 | Self Promo #🌈 They're so cool! 🌈 | Promo #I don't know what else tag to put onto this; I don't usually tag promos with that; but I guess I should #anime tw #not sure if this really is a promo or something; maybe moreof a 'thank you' post; idk #just take it as whatever you want to take it as!#I am; like; /so/ worried over posting this or not #I mean once you see it I obviously did post this so nvm I guess; but still #if you end up not liking it or something feel free to just ignore it #and I very much do hope that I didn't; uh... cross any boundaries through making something like this #with including a group of different people and all; I sure hope that it's not like someone of you now goes 'ugh how could she include me an #d xyz in the same thing; that's so rude/wrong/whatever #please please please lemme know if something isn't alright with this for you; I can't promise I'll take down the thing but I can... idk; tr #y to change something about it; or something?#I love all our interactions so thank you for being here!#I waited with this until blorthog because what better day to post a friends-thing on than the festivity of friendship?

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Continuing on that observation because I forgot to add this part, as a gen z I'm glad you understand that we or young people don't invent new ways to be evil, but it's not completely true. You aren't seeing new forms of online abuse in every platform, I doubt second hand information is going into details as well. Also the fact that you are a white man, there are things being said and done to poc in various online communities that I don't expect you to be privy to. Harassing fans of color and poc media has become a lot more common and normalized which parts of the fandom at large will never see. I don't know if anon did all of the thinking before saying "gen z bad" but they're not completely wrong looking at the kind of mass bullying behavior literal kids are exhibiting. They are learning from or being encouraged by older people but that shouldn't take the focus away from them to blame only the older people.

And my ask regarding Barbara, you assumed I hadn't thought about if my disdain for the character could have come from ableism. I had tho, granted you couldn't have known that and it was surely a possibility, so I'm not saying I'm mad about it, I was at that time a little bit. But you could perhaps give your anons a little more credit sometimes. Sometimes people know what they're talking about, you don't need to explain other possibilities to them each time.

Once again, sorry if this came off as very rude I just needed to share that observation and among many other instances these two were really highlights and kept bothering me. My issue with Barbara goes in a different direction than anything to do with her appearance and I've personally faced online abuse from people younger than me in ways that technologically, even politically, wasn't possible or as easy a few years ago, so you can maybe see why...

Please keep in mind that whatever context you have for yourself or your ask when you come into my inbox on anon......I have none of that. You have an awareness of yourself relative to whatever you asked me. I literally only know an anon by the words they put into my inbox and nothing else.

Also please keep in mind that every anon I answer, I do so in the larger context of my own interactions with tumblr overall. I have a lot of precedent with things I say being taken out of context, misrepresented or even just me not conveying myself as well as I like.

So the combination of those two things is that a) I literally just don't KNOW what any anon does or doesn't know and b) If I'm going to answer an anon, I tend to want to answer as fully and clearly as possible.

I can understand it coming across as being talked down to, so I'll work on that, but I would ask people to remember the above and keep that in context too when weighing my responses.....am I actually being condescending in every case, or does it simply feel that way because I'm including stuff you already know in my response? And if its the latter, is THAT something I COULD know about you without knowing who you are or you as a person and not just a paragraph sent in anonymously?

I'd rather be safe than sorry, and so from my POV since there's no harm in somebody seeing someone cover information they already know as PART of their overall answer or response, like, there's no reason for me not to include whatever I think is relevant and just expect readers to decide for themselves what about my response, if anything, is helpful, and like....just ignore the rest, y'know?

Also, just for the record, I am ADHD and I save my medication for when I'm working or writing or have stuff I absolutely need to get done, which doesn't include my usual blogging. So I'm usually posting while not on my ADHD meds at all, hence the rambling tendencies and the length. Another aspect of ADHD that doesn't get talked about much ime is we tend to over-explain, part out of just excitement/interest in whatever it is that has our attention, and also in part because we're used to people not necessarily following the leaps our minds take when jumping around rather than proceeding in an orderly thought pattern.....so, part of why I break things down so incrementally is I literally just don't know where my way of looking at things diverges from the way neurotypical thinking views things, so I want to draw as detailed a map as possible in order to ensure the most people possible can follow my thought process, just in case.

(And again see, this is something you might already know, and hell, you could have ADHD yourself, I just literally have no way of knowing that so rather than just mention it and be like "oh and also I have ADHD and so that's something to keep in mind" I'd rather explain WHY I feel that's particularly relevant to your question, since I'm kinda like, why not answer as fully as I have the spoons for? People can stop reading at any time if I go on too long. Its fine).

As for the specific asks you're referencing - my response to the gen z anon was not meant to convey that the sort of things you're describing don't occur among gen z, so sorry for giving that impression. Its actually the opposite of my point, which was simply that I don't think its a generational thing, or that anything is gained by treating it as a generational thing. This kind of behavior exists in gen z, yes, but it also existed before gen z. Its not gen z SPECIFIC, or limited to just that generation. That's all.

And the other ask, the one you made about Barbara - to be honest, I don't have anyway of knowing for sure which one you meant, and there are a couple it could have been, but if its the one I THINK you're referencing, I believe you asked how to stop people from assuming you dislike Barbara for reasons rooted in ableism when its because of other things? If that's the one, then I mean, the thing is....I DID answer your question, in as much as anyone could. I addressed the perceptions other people might have of your stance there, but basically - there IS no way to ever ensure people take you at your word or any kind of guarantee you can present your POV in a way that won't be misrepresented or misunderstood. So ultimately, I just had no real useful advice for that?

And so I expanded into the only thing I think anyone CAN control, aka their own thoughts and words, and suggested that you just double check to be sure of your own possible biases that others might read into your words without you being aware you were putting them in there. That wasn't meant as an insult or to suggest you hadn't already examined yourself for possible ableism - it was simply saying it never hurts to check again, y'know? We don't always catch everything every time we do a self-review, and internal biases are inherently tricky to pick up on ourselves. And it just loops back into the fact that I really had no way to know what you had and hadn't already considered, you're essentially a blank cipher to me....and in my experience, a lot of people are a lot more ableist than they realize.

And this isn't an insult either! It applies to me and I'M physically disabled! I'm constantly to this day unpacking new realizations about how I still have more ableist views and opinions than even I realize, even after about five years of living with chronic pain, vertigo, nerve issues and associated problems stemming from only half a working mouth lol. I'm not trying to insult people by asking them to just do what I do every day and just like....make sure I'm not the problem when other people have a problem with me. Because sometimes, even after reflecting as fully and genuinely as I can, I think they're still wrong! I don't have to agree with their conclusions! But that doesn't mean that they're never right.

And for the record, I do think its still worth examining on your end, because I don't love that you said your issues with Barbara have nothing to do with her appearance, when we're talking about ableism specifically. It very well could be just a poor word choice on your part and not a reflection of your actual views, but it could also be a suggestion that you tend to think of physical disability as something that's limited to there being a visual sign of, and there's a lot of invisible symptoms and changes to the ways a disabled person interacts with society and society with them that don't alter a disabled person's appearance in anyway...and many of these things are the exact stuff a lot of unacknowledged ableism revolves around.

So I'd like to give you and other anons more credit and the benefit of the doubt and assume you know what you're talking about and don't need things broken down as much as I tend to break them down to - but keep in mind I don't OWE you that, and its a lot to ask someone to take you on faith when you've already made the conscious choice to present yourself to them anonymously, and deliberately limit how much a person even CAN know about you before answering, when you have an equal opportunity to present yourself by name, allowing someone the full context afforded by your blog, that they can use to familiarize themselves with you and what you likely do or don't know before answering. I don't think its entirely reasonable to anonymize YOURSELF and then expect people to still give you the benefit of the doubt.

Especially when not giving you the benefit of the doubt only really results in me over-explaining something you don't think you need explained in certain ways or in as much depth. Its not hurting anyone, and you're not going to be the only one reading this response and maybe that over-explanation ISN'T something other people know and it could still be of use to someone else, y'know?

But lastly, please keep in mind that you came to me, and I just answered in the way that made the most sense to me. If that didn't work for you or wasn't what you're looking for, that's fine, but like. You knew way more about me going into this interaction than I could possibly know about you, and assuming good faith of you and your interest in my response and giving you as much of a response as I did in the first place, let alone now, IS giving you the benefit of the doubt in the sense that I'm assuming you can find some way in which these responses are of use to you.

And if not, like....just don't send me more asks? LOL. I kinda feel like you just didn't expect the answer you got, and that's sitting weirdly with you. Which I get, to be honest, but I don't particularly think that's a me problem, because that has nothing to do with anything I can control.

I can only give the answer that occurs to me when I read and think about an ask. I can't guarantee it'll ever be the answer the asker actually WANTS.

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maddyx-mystery · 4 years

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.·:*¨༺ Author's note༻¨*:·.

Hello and welcome to what's essentially my first ever AU ask blog and my first ever blog on tumblr as well! I was honestly so surprised by how many people wanted to see this happen on aHiT amino, to be honest! Also, this will mainly be an indie ask blog to get replies done more quickly and easily, though if there is something more on the specific side in an ask, then there will be a drawing to accompany the reply most likely. Hope you enjoy this little introduction story for it I wrote up, even if I am a bit rusty at writing, especially since I'm still not used to how tumblr works! -Mattie

It was a normal day in Subcon forest, well, as normal of a day inside a dark, haunted forest can get, that is.

Matcher had just finished assigning tasks to the Subconites as well as Hat Kid, who got mail delivery assigned to her. She floated back to her little tree-home, magenta colored crystals illimunating the pathway to her tree-home, some even having brief appearances of souls that were stored inside them. Once she got to her cozy little home, she noticed that the book she usually had set down on the table next to her chair wasn't there but instead a turquoise and pink colored parcel in it's place, having a letter taped onto the top of it and secured even further by some loosely tied orange rope that was tied around the package as a whole. There were even a few stickers with a logo she had never saw before.

She couldn't help but wonder a little on what it could be, considering she never really got mail from anyone. Heck, she didn't really even have a mailbox now that she thought about it.

She carefully grabbed a corner of the envelope on the parcel and peeled it off, opening it to read letter inside, which read in rather neatly done handwriting, though it was most likely made on a computer considering how the letter was worded, "Hello! Thank you, MATCHER, for signing up for the AMINO and TUMBLR ASK BLOG subscription box! Inside you'll find a custom made mailbox for your ASKs and a camera to record your responses! Have a great day!" There was no signature or name at the bottom of it. This just started to make her curiosity about this grow a bit yet it also made her feel suspicious of the parcel, since she didn't remember ordering anything yet it was still addressed to her name and everything. It honestly rather eerie to her, all things considered. But since it's here, she may was well look, right? Surely it wouldn't cause that much harm to just to take a peek inside.

So she cut the orange colored rope that tied the parcel together rather loosely and opened the box with caution. As the letter said, there was a indigo colored mailbox and a small cam recorder. Though it was a relief it wasn't something else instead, the question still stands, who sent it?

Was it Hat Kid in order to get back her for the pranks she's pulled on her multiple times or one of the Subconites as some sort of joke? Or... she didn't like to think of what the last thought came to mind was, though it would've been a more strange guess on who sent it, to say the least.

Matcher and Hat Kid are now available for asks! Send whatever questions you wish to ask them to my inbox!

.·:*¨༺ Rules and details ༻¨*:·.

•Magic!asks/Magic!anons are allowed, though only two of them can be active at the same time during asks, to avoid it being overwhelming for me to remember them all and write out each of them in every reply while they last.

•Please, no NSFW asks, I know it's probably obvious but still.

•You may send items alongside the asks.

•Some parts of this AU are not fully fleshed out yet so if I take long to reply to your question, it's either because I'm busy with school or me and the other co-owners of this AU are still discussing that detail

•Though it'll mainly star Matcher in the blog, if you wish to, you can ask the other characters, mainly through certain events, the current being HatKid but others will go on down the line as this AU develops.

•if anything is odd in some form, that may be due to me originally writing this on Amino as well as me using the mobile version of tumblr, due to not really having a working laptop but I'll still try to manage making it look as nice as the amino version or maybe even better as I get more experienced!

•In universe, Matcher gets the asks via mail, so you can't exactly interact with her or anyone else directly, sorry!

#ahit au #ahit #au #askblog #indie #writing #lord i hope this looks okay aaaaa-#edited a few mistakes I did #I mean... what mistakes? :D #Matcher's Mailbox

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dope-squish · 6 years

Text

Programmed And Damned [ RK800 Connor X Reader ] [ Detroit: Become Human ] - Chapter Three - I Am Alive

[ Goal - 90 Hearts/Reblogs ][ goalreached.exe has stopped working. next chapter delayed for a week ]

[ Comments are extremely appreciated so please do comment. it makes authors feel great, i promise. it boosts our confidence ] [ Please press the heart button, the reblog button and share this fanfic to anyone and anywhere, this way, we'll more likely reach our goal ] [ Special mention to @timelizzy21 , @angsty-otters-blog , @connorshero , @divadonadance1 , thank you so much for commenting *^* your comments made my day and i will continue making this story interesting so please keep reading on ][wanna make a fanart or soundtrack for the story? feel free to do so but if you ever do, please send them to me so i can post them in the future chapters so they can be appreciated]

You have claimed the victory over the current Clash even if it hasn't officially begun yet. You can already tell after scanning your android foes and learning that they were not used with what violence the battle holds. They were inexperienced, not compatible for combat and ultimately served a whole different purpose for the needs of human beings but it wasn't a foreign sight to see them standing idly and with little to no knowledge standing in the arena of an Android Clash - with an outstanding and jaw dropping amount of cash offered as the grand prize for the emerging winner, most android owners couldn't careless about such facts.

They were greedy for everything and anything, hungry for temporary and sinful happiness residing in this world along with wealth and fame, uncaring for their purchased and oblivious android who spent all their time and energy tending to them like loyal servants kissing their masters' foot.

But then again, money itself can easily alter much in the existing community. Take for example faithfulness, love, discipline, honesty, and logic. Those are just some human characteristics that could cease to exist once money comes into the question and no matter the circumstances, it will remain a known fact to the world. Most say that humans are to be considered kings among androids but in reality, the humans nor the androids nor the deviants run the world but rather, money. Oh poor humans, using their domesticated androids as their personal makeshift money puking machine.

Humans are naturally greedy. Is there anything else to it? You thought as you silently observed a group of huddling men exchanging currency to one another from a corner, occasionally sputtering a name, an android model (at times you do hear them murmuring something along the lines of "that combat android who always fucking wins"), and maybe a curse word with saliva coming out along with it or a not-so-affable shove to their seatmate as they animatedly fought over which android would most likely end up being eliminated first and it came to no surprise that they concluded it was the deviant - seeing as it was the only one standing out in the arena and shuddering in fear, dilated eyes darting to every existing corner of the place and hands clamming open and close.

"Three, two, one," The insufficiently dressed emcee exiting the arena through the hidden door only humans can access to with a flippant twirl and outstretched her open palm in the air. "Androids ready?"

This was normally the time you'd rid yourself off all distractions but you can't help but continue glancing over at the deviant, scrutinizing it like what a scientist would with a newly discovered strange specimen.

Your memory log instantly brought you back to the time the deviant had pitifully begged for you to grace it with your mercy, to not harm it, to not have it shut down out of overwhelming damage. A partial side of you wanted to retaliate, to inform it that killing it would be as painless as a soft feather cascading down your skin, that is - of course - if it deactivated its pain receptors. But you didn't, or rather, you can't.

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^ ]

Your eyelids fluttered down to cover your vision. Focus on the objective. There is nothing more important than accomplishing my objective. Just focus. That deviant is a distraction to you, forget about it.

But no matter how many times you've deleted that memory from your folder, it seems to keep recovering and recovering, like you were reminiscing a fond memory. And in what way can you focus and act on your purpose when your system error keeps amplifying, thirium pump thrusting surplus of thirium into your circuits, LED flickering from three different colors at the same time and the smoldering eyes fixated on your frame by the same RK800 android ay the upper bleachers?

"Fight!"

You didn't let the cheers of the humans register in your eardrums before your survival and combat instincts was automatically activated against your wishes. In a flash, your hands extended out and ruthlessly seized the nearest android within the vicinity of your form that has not yet prepared to take action and severely dug your fingers into its eye sockets, productively drawing blue blood from them and foreseeable fracturing its brown colored optics, its eyesight no longer functioning. Its body involuntarily spasmed as its programmig fruitlessly strived to adjust to the permanent damage, its system malfunctioning and protractedly shutting down.

Yet another android stampeded up to you with its hands outstretched, an intention for strangulation unmistakable in its eyes. In an immediate, you turned your first victim towards the assaulting android and used its mechanical body as a shield from the unrewarding onslaught of the other.

Its movements faltered by the second as it realized its strategy to spontaneously supply attacks wasn't working - clearly pondering over its next motion - you took this opportunity to deliver a swift kick on the back to your makeshift shield towards the direction of the offending android and swiftly swung your fist behind you, previously having been alerted by your system that another android was going to attack you from behind after sneaking to your back. Focus. Just focus.

Regardless of being preoccupied by the other androids carelessly throwing any kind of attack on you with little to no precise planning, you didn't miss the deviant's figure backing away from the violence presented right before his eyes before his back kissed the wired walls, fingernails digging into its palms and hands pressed against its chest as it powerlessly watched the commotion you were winning over with ease.

A thought crossed your mind and etched on it longer than necessary. Should I spare this deviant?

But your main task flashed once more in your vision, overlapping the system errors in your vision -

[ Current Objective - Eliminate All Foes ]

And you were positive that the highlighted word "all"did not exclude the deviant from the majority. You are a renowed combat android in the Underground Android Clashes but you are also renowed for another thing - pulling off your objective at all cost and you are not going to let this inconsequential android turned defective to get in your way. Or rather, your owner's way.

Detecting a punch hurtling your way, you instantly ducked down, slid across the cemented floorings and initiated a kick towards whatever android that decided to take you on to which caused it to tumble backwards and down, bringing the two other androids along with it. As they are in tangled limbs and too occupied gathering their wits, you whipped around and located another android - not the shaking deviant by a cranny of the arena - seemingly preparing its attack on you but before you could react appropriately to the situation, the android punched a bigger hole through the wired walls, curled its palm on an empty bottle of alcohol perched precariously on top of a stack of crates and didn't hesitate to smash it against its skull. Million piercing shards prodded on its skull, small and almost unnoticable sparks of electricity sprouting from its small wounds as thirium leaked out. The deviant screamed in utmost horror, hands flying over to its agape mouth as the deafening and fascinated clamors of the humans wracked the whole factory like an earthquake. Thirium splattered and painted all over the ground as the android fell, eyes fluttering open and close before inevitably shutting down with a thrumming hum, eyes wide open - dare to say lifeless - and lips parted in a silent scream.

You can't do anything else but mimic the android's dropped open mouth. You have never witnessed an android - or its in case - deviant begging before, but being a live audience to an android committing suicide, especially in front of you, was a surreal moment, never been heard in history or seen in social networks. Did it turn deviant just now just for it to end its short lived deviancy out of fear of being torn apart by its same specie?

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^ ]

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch out!"

Snapping out of your train of thought from Ruth's booming voice, you flimsily dodged an incoming blow from an android and caught its fist in your awaiting palm. Its LED turned red as you tilted your head, the corners of your eyes turning to slits. "Wrong move," You murmured under your breath and wasted no time pulling at its arm with all your encoded strength, your foot painfully wedging on its stomach. Sparks of electricity formed at the joints of its left arm as the wires connecting its arm to its body gradually gave out. With one final pull on the arm and one firm kick on its stomach, the arm was successfully removed from the android with its blue blood layering it. You watched it fall to the ground with a painful thud, twitching with its optic eyes appearing and disappearing. You saw it open its mouth to sputter something out but you didn't give it any chance to say its final words and brutally stepped on its head over and over and over until you were certain it was no longer active.

A triumphant grin etched its way to your owner's features, as if he already won the Clash even when you haven't crossed off every android yet. The other android owners, however, did not meet this blessing and cussed like a sailor would and threw a childish tantrum by either stomping their foot or shoving the poor person next to them.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Edwin Williams hissed at its owned android - or deviant at this point - as it simply answered by slowly falling on its ass and delicately cradling its head in its hands, fingers running through its blond hair. "Get in there and do your fucking job, for fuck sake! Fight back, fight back! Kill that damned combat android!"

"No, no, no," The deviant drawled out through its quivering lips, head rolling back. "Don't . . . want . . . to die. Don't want to, don't want to, don't want to."

A smirk appeared upon your brims as frustration coursed through the veins of the man at his android's disobedience to his commands before facing the two remaining androids standing idly beside one another, emotionless and motionless, just like an android should. Haphazardly tossing the torn arm from your hold, you let it clang against the ground as you calmly took confident strides towards the two androids, aware of their exchange of looks. You cracked your neck, something you've seen action stars do in their starred movies or shows, to intimidate the androids but being immune to emotions and possibly void of any entertaintment knowledge, they didn't see anything out of the ordinary with your action.

A taunting smile adorned your face. "Who's next?"

***

"No doubt that's the same android we're on about." Hank mindlessly commented as he attentively paid attention to the occuring Clash and the combat android - trying to gain any information that could help them in case they fail to put to custody their suspects - and physically winced as he watched the combat android iniated yet another vile attack on its fellow android with no hint of regret or reluctance. "Fuck me in the ass, what is wrong with that one? Can't it kill the other androids in a . . . a less graphic manner? My heart can't take shit like this anymore - shit, goddamn it,"

As Hank covered his eyes to prevent from witnessing anymore gore imagery displayed it, Connor leaned forward even further to get a better view of the arena with his hands gripping on the railings. His eyes remained trailing on the female featured combat android efficiently terminating the other participating androids in the Clash with horrifyingly accurate and clean offense and flawless defense.

Connor's software instability was nowhere near stabilizing - this was prominent from the endless pop ups that never left the corner of his vision - his thirium providing too much of it into his biocomponents and LED flickering from the three primary colors and somehow, although knowledged by they're source, he cannot help but be drawn to the android. If he was a human, he could have considered himself completely fascinated by it. Everything about it was created to perfection - it was perfect, too perfect for it to be gracing its presence in an unlawful enviroment like this aged factory and participating in felonious activities such as this. But considering it didn't know any better than to follow its owner, he couldn't blame all the fault on it.

"It is an android specifically made for combat, lieutenant. It cannot be helped." Connor stated in a tone that could only be described as matter-of-fact (intellectual). "But I can see why you find this . . ." He paused upon seeing the same winning android throw its fellow android behind its back and pointedly shattering its joints, earning it a few cheerful hollers from the audience. ". . . quite disturbing."

"Quite is an understatement." Hank responded with a shudder before his eyes settled on the deviant caught up in an unwanted situation. His brows met and he shook his head, heaving a sigh. "Poor bastard. It didn't deserve to be in there."

Connor watched as the reigning android approached the deviant with confident and giant strides across the thirium covered arena. The deviant scampered away from its former position and ran about the whole premises of the arena, distraughtly trying to escape or delay its inevitable death as it hurtled any metallic remains of the other defeated androids it had already finished off.

"Don't do this! Please, don't! Don't kill me, I'm begging you!" The deviant pleaded as he lifted up his hands in the air, tears prickling the corners of its eyes. "I don't want to die!"

"You can't kill what isn't alive in the first place." It responded monotonously, stepping over a deactivated corpse of an android with its eyes fixated solely on the deviant.

"I know you don't understand why I'm like this. You're not like me, I understand that. You don't understand why I'm afraid . . . why I'm scared to die. I've seen it before." Connor narrowed his eyes as he registered the monologue spoken by the deviant and automatically, he began recording the whole scene through his advanced pupils. The deviant clumsily stumbled back to avoid your delivered kick and as soon as it fell, it got back on its feet and advanced backwards. "The child I was helping before, Emily. She was five years old and she was deaf. Her parents got me to help her communicate with others. I loved her the moment I saw her. She was the reason I became a deviant. Her parents treated me nicely but her . . . she treated me like I was a special android, a friend. She even gave me a name - Daryl. I liked it. Then one day I was walking her back home from school, an armed man blocked us and she was shot by h in the chest five times before he left her there in the streets, bleeding, suffering in a slow death."

Connor's eyebrows knitted. So it saw a human - a small child - die?

[ SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^ ]

And from the way it abruptly halted dead in its track and the significant dilation of its eyes, he knew it was experiencing the same . . . error as he was.

The deviant casted its gaze down, hands falling back to its sides. "I-I was there." It stammered brokenly as its tears fell from its eyes, its voicebox changing pitches as it dragged on. "I needed to help her, I knew that . . . but I couldn't."

"Why?" The combat android questioned suspiciously. Connor didn't miss its LED blinking three different colors, just as his LED was. "Because you wanted the child to die?"

The deviant's head shot right up, eyes wide in offense and hurt. "No!" It defended. "No, no. I don't want her hurt. If I could rewind time, I'd sdo anything to save her. I loved her, she was my first friend, the first and only human to treat me like . . . I'm human. I needed to help her but I couldn't because I was afraid, scared that the man will come back and shoot me like he did with Emily."

"You won't feel any pain so what's there to be scared of?" The other android snapped, its eyes glowering. "You'll just shut down like nothing ever happened, like you never existed. There's no such thing as heaven or hell for androids. When you're gone, you're just gone. No pain, no tears."

Connor can't help but agree with you. How androids could even think of thinking they were mildly worthy of feeling like humans is beyond his knowledge. Maybe CyberLife could help him with this dilemma.

"You don't understand." The deviant fought back.

"I don't have to."

Through the string of complaints from the audiences, a loud slam of a hand caught Connor's attention and as he looked down, he saw a feral looking man shooting daggers at the combat android. "Stop the chatting and start fighting, goddamit!"

***

It seemed instinctive when you charged towards the startled deviant but soon you found yourself holding its jaw, raising it up in the air with one arm. Your never growing fingernails hazardously punctured through the synthethic skin of the deviant's slender neck, graciously drawing out blue blood from its damaged part. Its face contorted to what appears to be agony, discomfort and lack of oxygen - which immensely perplexed you to no exact extent for no android - not even deviants - need oxygen to circulate in their system to function properly.

It was possible and not uncommon for androids to play pretend with emotions as to not cause discomfort for humans. When they are ordered to partake food in an event or even in a simple dinner for normalcy, they will do so. When they are asked to drink a certain liquid, they will do so. When they are asked to breathe, they will simply mimic what they've observed from humans and commence. But in this case, in this precarious circumstance where living beings' comfort doesn't apply for the time being, the deviant - its given name stated as Daryl - didn't need to continue acting like a marionette with strings. Yet here it was suffering in your hold like a human teetering in and out of consciousness, clawing on your hand with its projected tears cascading down its cheeks, begging for your mercy that will never come to its aid.

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^ ]

"Please," It rasped out the remaining juice of its voice box held in your grip. "Don't."

The clamors and insulting jeers of the non-artificial humans' sneering lips resounded in the coved interiors of the aged factory, combining with the distinct flutterings of cash and unevenly timed applause, you could hear them chanting one thing - "End it!"

"Sorry," You apologized monotonously and tightened your envelopment around its throat. "Nothing personal, I'm just accomplishing my objective."

Your eyes detected the frantic dilation of its pupils, the white enlarging as its body shuttered and frenzied, its survival instincts (Asimov's rule number three undoubtedly kicking in is instructions, overlapping its original objective which was to go against you). It thrashed around, legs kicking with no particular intent but to escape and arms flailing, trying to loosen your grip around it but to no avail - your thirium coated hand was unrelenting and strangling, overpowering for the deviant to accomodate and have its system adapt to the change.

The deviant's hues pleaded with you through his damp eyeballs, tongue lolling out as air left its biocomponent lungs. "We are the same,"

Your eyes shot open as your microcontroller unit processed its spoken statement and unintentionally saved the audio in your folders. Your thirium pump accelerated in speed, flooding your biocomponents with an overwhelming amount of thirium as your unit typed the word "unintentional" to a search engine and discovered its conceptual term. Upon conducting a brief research, you can unsafely but with sure certainty that you were not constructed by CyberLife with evidence of uncertain antics. But then how come you've done something unexistent in your instructions?

A glitch? A programming error made by CyberLife? Or worse, a will?

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^ ]

Paying no significang attention to your malfunctioning frame, you spoke with hesitant finality, "We are nothing alike."

A faint "yes"spewed out from your owner's lips was hiddden behind your hearing - unimportant - as a bloodcurling scream of terror in a form of "no" pierced through all coexisting noises followed by a startling sound of skin meeting thin metal ringing in your eardrums. A pair of amber orbs appeared behind the wired walls where you stood lifting the deviant by its neck, delicate fingers swathing around the smell of circles of the walls and throat contracting from - scanning - fear.

Recognition settled in your features and a familiar name appeared in your vision. "Autumn -"

"Stop it, [ Your Name ]. Just stop it. Don't kill him." Autumn's voice was demanding, commanding. Something you rarely hear leave her lips. "This is murder."

Your flickering LED turned momentarily yellow as overlapping instructions fused with your objective. "But Autumn, it's not ali -" She interjected sharply before you could properly construct your desired statement, to which you raised an eyebrow at.

"It is alive, he is alive." Autumn argued as she leaned further to the wall, the rusting metal closing in on her face. "And you are too!"

Her words shot right through your unwavering belief of the difference between androids and humans. Your grasp faltered for a moment or so until it returned to its original vice. "I am . . ." You trailed off reluctantly through gritted teeth. ". . . not alive."

From the corner of your eye, you spotted a seething Ruth practically radiating off a murderous vibe. "Autumn, what the fuck are you doing? Get outta here, now! That is an order!"

But your owner might have forgotten that his daughter was no android and had a desire of her own so she ignored him and continued on. "To me - this deviant - is alive! If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me. He has a life, [ Your Name ]. Don't kill him."

Humans are the most intelligent and most simple minded of all beings created in this complex and wretched world. You knew better than anyone else that androids possess realistic features such as humans has, for you are one too. From the undiscrenable count of strands of hair to the unique fingerprints - androids are so similar to humans, in appearance wise, that humans themselves are deceived these robotic entities are alive - or was it in their nature to empathize? Either way, you've seen people fall for it and Autumn Judge was no exception to be a fool of this.

You begin, "But your father -"

Autumn snapped. "- doesn't care at all! He never cared for anyone, especially not you! To him, you're just a money making machine! But I care for you and it's because I care for you that I'm telling you to not kill him! You're not only killing your own, you're killing a human!"

A human. A human. A human.

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^^ ]

"It's a deviant!" You yelled as you aimed your sight on it, aware of its glistening tears. "Not a human."

It's not alive. I'm not alive. It's not alive. I'm not alive.

Her rigid features softened and she whispered, "Don't you want to be?"

A frown designs your face as yoy momentarily looked at her, brows burrowing in puzzlement. "To be what?"

She continues in a soft voice, "To be alive? To be . . . human?"

[ SYSTEM ERROR ^^ ]

An inaudible gasp escaped your lips as your hand unwrapped from the deviant's throat, releasing it. It inhaled sharply through its damaged throat to make up for the loss of oxygen after it landed on the cement.

Maybe it wasn't a will. Maybe - just maybe - it was a need - a need to feel. A need to be alive. A need to be human.

"I am . . . " You swallowed the thick blob of saliva dangling at the back of your throat, eyes blinking and system overheating from undetected reasons. With much hesitance, you continued, ". . . alive?"

[ MALWARE DETECTED :

I AM A L I V E ? [ YES ] [ NO ] ]

Before you could register the smile forming on the deviant's and Autumn's lips, a calloused hand appeared out of thin air and took hold of her beautiful locks, harshly tugging her back to which caused her to fall on her bum and cry out in combination of astonishment and pain. Her knees magnetted to her chest as her flailing hands flew up to the same hand causing her agony. Your eyes trailed up to the hand then to the arm then to the face of the assailant and what you saw didn't really surprise you, but it certainly made your LED color crimson.

"What have you done? What did you do to my android, huh?" Ruth snarled, teeth gnashing. "Tell me what fucking happened!"

Autumn turned her head up, glaring at her father. "Let me go, you asshole!"

But her begging fell upon unforgiving ears as Ruth merely yanked harder on her soft and silky locks. "You never know when to stop, do you? You jusy keep going on and on until you piss me off. Well, you got it, Autumn. You got me fucking pissed off."

Your LED flickered red and yellow. The glint in your owner's eyes - Autumn's father - was full of loathing and disappointment. He looked like he was prepared to disown Autumn as his family. You were sure a child would feel unwanted once seeing that kind of glower in their parents' eyes. It was - in your opinion - unacceptable for a father to look at his daughter like that. No child should feel unloved, unwanted.

A loud gasping caught your attention to which caused you to turn to the deviant who was holding its bleeding throat. It firmly looked at you right in the eyes. "You need . . ." It wheezed. ". . . to help that girl."

Ruth must have picked up the deviant's command for he directed his blazing gaze on you and pointed at your figure. "Don't you dare move." He snarled threateningly and immediately, your body stilled and waited for further instructions.

A realization got you grounded, frozen. Your body had a desire to move, to disregard the obedience CyberLife put in you, to defend Autumn from her own abusive and only family, but you were being held back by your programming. So there you stood rooted in your spot, watching helplessly as Ruth mistreated his daughter with physical and emotional harm.

Stop. Don't hurt her.

Current Objective - Don't move ]