#and i think that's a good story and a great character

[fondcrimes]

the "labru chapter" is the kabru chapter

this is a dungeon meshi love manifesto, but not in the way you think. sorry not sorry for the labrubait

what makes chapter 76 so amazing is kabru’s desperation has little to do with laios specifically. it’s not just about kabru being obsessed with laios and making sure he doesn't cause tragedy, either. I think this chapter emphasizes kabru's struggle with the concept of love and companionship. the point of this chapter is that every critical part of kabru collides at once and renders him useless.

(disclaimer: this post includes a lot of projection/speculation but it's to understand kabru's character arc i promise. for clearer analysis and examination of how kabru's ideologies are constructed, check out this really great post)

kabru is a lone visionary

in ch 76, kabru’s threatened by lycion exposing his true intentions to laios not only bc he wants to prevent laios from joining marcille in her destruction, but also bc laios is also from a short-lived race and kabru needs an ally in his power struggle against elves (esp when the chips are down)

but has kabru really accepted his need for allies in his plight? kabru has spent his adult life suppressing a human urge to connect meaningfully with others. he even keeps rinsha et al. at arm's length in the name of achieving his masculine hero complex/survivor's guilt goals. he's already quite disillusioned bc most adventurers don't have the same goal as he does. so he uses people and gets on their good side for systematic support. he’s well-intentioned and takes care of his party. but the idea that an ally could also protect HIM and make HIM feel safe as well doesn’t really register with him until later on in the narrative bc camaraderie and allyship, at its core, is about acknowledging intimacy. kabru struggles with intimacy sub-textually (his self-neglect and social insincerity) even though he knows how to simulate it to gain others' trust.

but he can’t crack laios, he can’t get him to listen. for lack of a better word, kabru is spoiled by the fruits of his superb perception and emotional intelligence. he also doesn’t cope well with failure (bc his goal is too valuable to ~not~ devote himself to) he puts too much value in conquering laios and when he thinks he's failed, he basically crashes out. the real problem is he still doesn’t understand his true feelings--not feelings for laios, but the root of his desire. the root of his goals and the endless search for companionship.

kabru is a strategic historian

at his core, kabru is a storyteller. he tells himself a variety of stories about his trauma and his goals, which serve as motivation and to some extent, self-protection (as shown in his conversation w mithrun). he deeply understands the role of storytelling in regards to the construction of history and drastic shifts in power.

as an utayan, he understands that the tragedy that overcame his people was not random, but resulted from elven negligence of a disenfranchised people. it is imperative for kabru to cement himself as a voice for otherwise voiceless people. in his story, he has no choice but to handle the hero, if not become the hero himself.

kabru even has a story about his pursuit of laios, mainly that laios is currently the most capable person of defeating the mage and that he must do whatever it takes to ensure laios doesn’t fuck it up. his instincts are right, sure, but at first, he places special value in laios’ capabilities that almost seems unearned… like yes he’s studied the island adventurers with frightening expertise, so it makes sense he would have a good idea about who is the most equipped to succeed. but his early suspicions of the toudens seems to complicate my perception of his knowledge by adding emotional depth and a layer of tinhattery so to speak.

canonically, kabru has been rebuffed by laios multiple times (which is so... lolll) when he's talking with his party, kabru hides behind the excuse of dungeon but he’s been trying to get his attention this whole time. to me it reads like he's got a bruised ego from being ignored and is being a hater about it (so real lol). it's funny bc kabru is usually great at taking shit from others (esp elves) if it means nobody suspects/interrogates his true intentions and he can keep the peace. so why does laios tick him off so bad? now we have to get into the psychoanalysis of it all!

kabru is a cynic

first and foremost, kabru’s cynical philosophy about humans is challenged by the touden mission. but plenty of people don’t care about the impact of their actions, so why does kabru obsess over the toudens at the start? I figured kui changed gears with kabru's characterization following his introduction, but I want to try to connect it to kabru's unresolved survivor's guilt. kabru is the sole survivor of a catastrophe caused by negligence and oversight. he criticizes the negative impact of the toudens' generosity and naïveté and confirms his cynical worldview (the road to hell is paved with best intentions), but still maintains a level-headed perspective. on the other hand, kabru's interactions with laios are tinged with irrational jealousy/resentment/desperation, even prior to kabru learning laios' character/intentions as an adventurer. I cannot emphasize enough that I am employing a neutral definition of jealousy here--it seems kabru is jealous of the freedom to not care the way laios does not care about the fate of the island. this isn't to say laios doesn't care about humans, he does, but he seems so singleminded compared to kabru esp in ch 76. kabru sees laios going to the literal end of the world to save his sister. laios gets to be human selfishly, kind-natured but ultimately self-prioritizing.

kabru correctly assesses motives (besides his own maybe). falin said she’d do anything to protect laios and marcille. laios has been socially rejected by people his whole life, and at first, he only cares about his sister and monsters. kabru has survived horror but only by accident… he doesn't agree with their pov and more importantly, it doesn’t exactly compute with him. the toudens are wholly unaware of their impact, which does not sit well with kabru at all, who understands the impact of negligence better than anyone else, esp how it ends up harming the less fortunate and extremely marginalized in society. it's reminiscent of the age-old trolley problem. while kabru has been the victim of senseless pain, I suspect kabru can’t yet make sense of senseless love. he gets to look down at their cause and call it selfish because it directly contradicts his lived experience.

kabru is an ethicist with a heroic streak

it's easy to glean that kabru wants to be the hero utaya should’ve had. while he's hardcore and intense, but not paranoid enough to do something rash. he uses violence as a means of achieving peace. he's self-aware enough to know his skill limits, which seems rational at a glance but the pressure he puts on himself suggests he views himself as inadequate until he achieves his goal. the races of humans are so split up and he sees that this is a matter of power first and foremost.

with the canaries, kabru submits to political pageantry to make a separate case for innocent people. senseless tragedy is unforgivable, but so is the "too little too late" reality of the canary system. he takes on the impossible task of rallying people together to save the dungeon. one read is that he's saving his childhood self from trauma perhaps by saving those like him… he's wishing someone did something before it got bad, wondering why nobody intervened when they had every opportunity to step in. it’s deeper than a sense of duty or fairness, this is about betrayal and retribution.

throughout his life, kabru struggles with the material inequity and limits of love. the human population is fundamentally segmented into a hierarchy due to lifespans and access to power/resources. his mother was the only one who loved him in utaya and she was ostracized because of his appearance and then she was killed due to senseless tragedy. his frustration with the elves encapsulates this idea perfectly, because he is aware of of the limits of their empathy as a long-lived race and adjusts his strategy and rhetoric accordingly. I think milsiril’s love for kabru is genuine, but still infantilizing and smothering due to the racial imbalance. this continues to inform his politics, as he views their perception of short-lived races with contempt. the worst offense is that their bigotry is nonsensical, meaning their hearts cannot be reasoned with.

dungeon meshi is a story about power and politics, yes, but genuine love and acceptance are the catalysts of change and equality. the "invisible gulf" that marcille is referring to is the inability to view other races with love and care. such is the essence of camaraderie. kabru's backstory, family history, and beliefs/motivations raise two important questions for me: who gets to be loved enough to survive, and then to thrive?

kabru is a monster

the emphasis on distinguishing between humans and monsters is quite interesting too. of all sentient beings, who qualifies as worthy of "human" treatment? who deserves empathy and acceptance? kabru seeks these answers to fix the world, but also to justify his place in it.

kabru's lack of self-worth is evident here, but what’s more interesting is he knows many humans suffer worse fates than some monsters. the dehumanization/neglect of fellow humans does not compute, if the premise is humans are superior to demi-humans/non-humans because mutual empathy and understanding. he clings to the superiority of humanity as an appeal to ethos to those in power despite what he might actually believe about himself. to kabru, the true injustice is that humans won’t even save “inferior” humans despite being the same. his unclear heritage manifests as guilt, as he feels directly responsible for his mother's suffering because he is monstrous. then here comes laios, a human who somehow can find it in himself to love monsters.

kabru doesn’t want laios to love him, per se, but laios’ love for monsters and for falin reveals life-altering possibilities for kabru: there is a world where someone could love him even if he were a monster. there is a world where somebody would go to extreme measures just to save him. kabru does not know the extent of laios' trauma but recognizes a sort of kindred spirit but inverse. taking off the ship goggles here--it has less to do with laios specifically, and more to do with what his beliefs/abilities represent for the trajectory of the world (because kabru studies how beliefs/abilities manifest into material reality, after all)

kabru is seeking the power of love

in a different story, kabru would be laios’ archnemesis. they would have a disastrous battle of opposing worldviews in their struggle for dominion. kabru has every right to want to take laios out bc while his affinity for monsters is sympathetic and even charming, it is still a natural threat… kabru has the true hero pathology. he believes he only deserves to live if he can save people for a variety of reasons/traumas. he should do whatever it takes to exterminate laios. but the expectation is subverted in chapter 76 bc we see kabru’s curiosity and ongoing quest for understanding win over his worst fears.

I feel like I’ve been projecting a lot but bear with me... a huge part of kabru’s character is him trying to figure out how to matter to people, or figuring out why people matter to others in general. it’s not to say he doesn’t matter to his friends or milsiril, but why else would he bother with all the manipulative people-pleasing? it would be less meaningful if he had ulterior motives like greed or power, but he plays into people's expectations/desires for a disastrously noble cause. he’s still actively living in his trauma as a deeply traumatized adult. it’s pure serendipity that laios can send him right back to his past and then pull him right out again. I don't think it's crazy to say kabru (correctly) projects a lot of shit on laios bc he doesn’t know how to deal with those injustices and barriers between people himself.

this is also why I believe kabru's beef with laios is as personal as it is strategic. we have to consider the trajectories of their character arcs (their big missions, respectively) in relation to one another as foils. if laios' love for falin can move mountains and do impossible things, kabru is subconsciously drawn to the magnitude of that love like a magnet. his response to cognitive dissonance is quite remarkable as well. at the root of his unbelievable capacity for understanding and curiosity is the deep wound of being unloved and unprotected. kabru does not avoid or run away from his fears, he quite literally keeps running toward them and follows it down to hell. he wants to identify the true source of his deepest wound.

to me, this omake connects his childhood curiosity to his search for love, almost as to ask “is there enough room for me to be loved?" and the same can be said for marcille's character arc/ backstory. her biracial heritage has caused her great existential pain and social isolation.

in dungeon meshi, the issues of protection and justice continue to be interpreted through love. if kabru were to go back in time and save utaya, he would’ve needed incomprehensible magic, a supernatural power to save himself, his mother, his hometown. in contrast, laios' mission to save falin is just one manifestation of the surreality of love, all of the impossibilities it permits. the touden party wade through invisible gulfs to save falin, but also each other. kabru doesn’t hate their story, he just can’t fathom it yet.

kabru is a skilled strategist and communicator. and does not listen to his heart or body until he’s absolutely forced to do it. he has insane goals and expectations for himself and will go to great measures for those goals. as cerebral and cold as he might seem, it’s critical to understand that his character arc is about love too. in my opinion, it’s almost as if he’s trying to change his reality in hopes of finding love. my favorite thing about kabru is that he has all the narrative makings of the perfect misunderstood villain who self-destructs at the end of the story. but kabru is too smart for that, too focused on the big-picture impacts and the historical trajectory of the cause. instead, kabru finds the wherewithal to stand down once he understands that laios is capable of loving humanity like he does, or that he could help him see the value in humanity at all.

to love is to understand, and then to surrender.

#dungeon meshi #kabru #kabruganda #labru #dungeon meshi meta #long post #dungeon meshi spoilers #hits post and runs away #unfortunately ​everything is about love to me

[kxsalt]

“I’m not a whore!” She protests to her group of friends. The crowd looks at her, dumbfounded by her adverse reaction.

One of them breaks the silence. “Look, I’m not trying to offend you, but you’ve literally had sex with everybody here.” The girl pouts. Another man chimes in: “I haven’t had sex with her.”

“She told us last week that she sucked your dick in a nightclub bathroom.” He replies. “Well, yeah, fair enough.” The man admits. “Oral sex definitely counts.” One of the women jumps into the conversation. “Obviously, or it wouldn’t count for us girlies.” Another woman adds on with a shrug: “I just fucked her with my strap.” The group laughs. “Oooh, can I borrow that next time?”

The girl blushes. “That doesn’t make me a whore…” She mumbles, feeling called out. The woman carries on. “There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you take your panties off the second someone asks you for a threesome, you might be a slut.” The first man snaps his fingers. “That reminds me, remember when we asked to gangbang you? I’ve never seen anyone strip so quickly.”

“Damn, you guys got to gangbang her? Where was I?” The friend she sucked off in a toilet stall feigns insult. “You were out of town. Next time for sure.” The other man assures him. Shifting awkwardly in her seat, the girl is painfully aware of how wet she is from the conversation. “I just like free-use…” She whimpers pathetically.

“Oh, honey, we know.” The woman sitting next to her explains sarcastically. “When you ‘accidentally’ upload a video of you having sex to the group chat and ‘don’t know how to delete it’, people figure those things out.” The crowd bursts into laughter again. The girl wonders if she could get away with rubbing her pussy right now.

“I forgot about that! God, there’s so many stories. How about that Halloween when she dressed up like a ‘rope bunny’? All those fancy shibari ties, the bunny ears, nothing else?” The man mimics ears behind the girl’s head. “Don’t forget the time we all went camping and she ‘forgot’ to pack clothes.” As the group recounts their favorite stories about the girl, she rubs her thighs together, desperate to not prove their point.

“Any other good stories?” The man addresses the group. “Oh, not really a story, but…” Says one of the women. “…While she’s pretending she’s not a whore, what’s the deal with you pretending to be straight? You’ve fucked more women than I have.” The girl bursts out another protest. “I like guys! I just don’t want to not have sex with women, too!” Rolling her eyes, the woman explains to her with a condescending tone. “That’s called bisexual, honey…”

“My favourite story is the time I asked her to be my dog for a week…” The girl hops up from her seat. If she hears any more, she won’t be able to keep herself from touching her pussy. “Nooo! Don’t say it!” She begs him to not tell everyone. “…she really committed to it. Collared all the time, on her hands and knees, walkies, eating from a bowl, training her to do tricks. She never broke character. I’ve never seen someone as happy as when I put her in a kennel.” The girl’s legs tremble as she leans against the table for support.

“That’s a great idea. Usually, I just do blindfold and handcuffs, then edge the fuck out of her.” A woman regales the group with her story. “One time, I was sitting on her face after edging her for hours. While she was licking my pussy, I told her that I was never going to let her cum again. No joke, she came right then and there. I swear I wasn’t touching her pussy, tits, nothing, just grinding myself on her face. She came just from eating me out.” The woman points at the girl. “Because you’re bisexual. Or pan or something, I don’t care.”

“Call me vanilla, but I mostly just use her for porn. I swear I have a terabyte of videos of her by now. I still send her a clip every morning just to tease her. Haven’t had to repeat a clip even once, that’s how much I have. Hey, what clip did I send you this morning?” He asks the girl. “Umm, I think I’m, like, giving some guy head…?” She mumbles. “Right, the gloryhole. Those ones kinda end up the same.”

“While we’re on the topic: Sometimes she’s covered in bruises…? Who’s doing that?” A man and a woman raise their hands at the same time, then laugh. “Oh, you too?” The woman smiles. “It’s not my fault, you know how bratty she gets. The belt is the only thing that keeps her in line.” The man ponders her response. “A belt, eh? I usually just use my hands. The personal touch, you know?”

“Personally, I like to put a remote vibrator in her and have her go around doing stuff while I play with it. I bet she gets wet every time she goes into a grocery store now.” One woman calmly explains. The man across the table gets excited. “I do something similar, I cum on her face before we go out. We should collaborate.”

“I guess I’m not too kinky, I just have anal sex with her.” The man jokingly addresses the nightclub friend. “Don’t worry man, I haven’t had sex with her pussy, either.” The girl volunteers some more information. “You don’t just have anal with me, you always start right when I come over and… make me leave right after…” She clamps her mouth shut. “Oh, yeah. I guess that is a kink. Objectification or something.”

“I love being really really mean to her.” Another friend puts her face close to the girl. “And she loves it too. Isn’t that right, you dumb slut? Pathetic little girl. Listen to all these people who use you as a fucktoy, just admit that you’re a whore. Everybody knows that’s all you’re good for. Worthless slut, filthy little cum dump.” The woman hisses into her ear. The girl blushes bright pink. “…n- no…” She nods her head as she denies it.

“What about you? Just the nightclub thing?” A woman asks the only person at the table who hasn’t used her pussy. He hangs his head in his hands dramatically. “I think… I need a job with less travel…” Everyone laughs at his theatrics. The man stands and moves next to the whimpering girl. Her eyes widen as he takes out his cock and starts to stroke it. “I guess I should make up for lost time.”

The girl instinctively throws her body on the table and hikes up her dress. Her panties are a soggy mess; a huge wet patch from her pussy starting to reach up to her ass. Pulling them down halfway, the needy girl pushes herself towards his hard cock. He touches his head against her hole, then points himself upwards, grinding the length of his shaft against her body. “Nuh-uh.” He teases “Admit it, first.”

The girls head is spinning. Insanely horny, she tries to get his cock inside her. She whimpers as his dick is pulled away. “Say it. Come on.” She looks around at her friends. “ookie… fine… I’m a whore…” The crowd cheers as the man slides his cock into her pussy. The girl pushes back, burying him inside her on the first thrust. She cums immediately, while her friends laugh at her.

Her drool drips onto the table, her cum drips onto her panties. “I’m a whore. I’m a whore. I’m a whore.” Someone pulls her dress off. Another person points their phone at her. Another shoves their fingers in her mouth. Another grabs onto her breast. One leaves to go find her dog collar. The man fucking her pushes his thumb into her ass for a firm grip. The girl starts to cum again. Her voice is almost inaudible in the commotion.

“I’m a whore. I’m a whore. I’m a whore.”

#kxsalt short #kxsalt freeuse #kxsalt group #kxsalt degrade #bd/sm kink #bd/sm community #bd/sm blog #cnc k!nk #bd/sm brat #cnc free use #submisive and breedable #needy pussy #free use slvt #corruption kink #bd/sm puppy #degredation kink #attention wh0r3 #needy wh0re #degrading k1nk #cnc brat #free use toy #dumb slvt #abuse k1nk #degrade and humiliate me #praise and degredation #objectify me #cumslvt #cnc sub #degradation k1nk #puppy sub

[im-subtextsexual]

I’m glad so many people picked up on the vibes between Eloise and Cressida. Not a ship I ever considered before, but the tension was palpable. I’ve been a Queer Eloise truther since reading the books. Her portrayal on the show only made it more obvious in my mind. I didn’t think the writers would ever go there, but the set up is just so explicit, now I’m not sure. I don’t think they’d actually make Eloise / Cressida canon, but I do think they’re testing the waters for wlw Eloise. And it makes perfect sense. 

First off, the character is queer (I’ll hold off from labeling her a lesbian outright, because there’s definitely room for other identities like bi, demi, ace…. etc.) Even in the books. I legitimately think Julia Quinn accidentally wrote a sapphic character and then didn’t know what to do with her. So what we got is “To Sir Phillip, With Love”, widely considered to be one of the worst in the series. Believe me, if there’s any story that could stand to deviate from the books, it’s this one. And the story could so easily be adapted to a wlw romance, it would be a wasted opportunity not to do it. Like… the story would be better if they tweaked it to fit a queer canon. AND it could be done in a historically accurate way to shut up the naysayers that “a lesbian storyline wouldn’t fit in this universe.” How? Allow me to explain.

*SPOILERS FOR BRIDGERTON SERIES BOOK 5*

In the book, Eloise strikes up a correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. Yes, THAT Phillip, the one currently married to Marina from season 1&2. Marina kills herself because she can’t stand to be married to Phillip and deal with their children in the wake of her lover / his brother’s death. His initial interest in Eloise is to find a mother for his children. She is intrigued by his intelligence and decides she doesn't want to be alone, but isn’t necessarily eager to marry or have a family. Due to romance novel shenanigans, she runs away to Phillip's house and is forced to marry him. Even as they grow to kind of love each other, it's far from some grand romance. It’s the very definition of “settling”. The most interesting part is the narrative structure of their story being told through letters in the beginning. We could keep all that, but make it gay. 

*Imagine*

Eloise meets some dapper gentlemen new to the marriage mart. We’ll call him Emmett. Very little is known about Emmett and his family as they keep largely to themselves at their estate in the countryside. The only thing that’s widely known is the family suffered a tragic accident where the man of the house and his oldest daughter died, leaving his son (the other twin) to take on the responsibility of rank and title very early. Emmet is making a rare appearance in London to find a wife (there are rumors of stipulations in his inheritance requiring a match). ALL the debutantes are fawning over him because he’s mysterious and extraordinarily good-looking. One might even say “pretty”… To everyone’s great surprise the season’s most eligible bachelor takes a special interest in Eloise after overhearing her talking about her disdain for the social convention of marriage, and how she would only consider it if it were an in-name-only, marriage of convenience. Emmett strikes up a conversation with Eloise and she is taken by his humor, wit and shockingly deep empathy for the limitations society puts on women. They continue to gravitate to each other through the first few events of the season, but Emmett has to return home suddenly because of a family emergency. Eloise is shocked to find herself disappointed, but they promise to write. Cue the correspondence romance.

Eloise grows more and more smitten with Emmett every letter she receives, but still has the same reservations about marriage especially when she thinks of the intimacy a relationship like that would require. When Emmett hints that he may want more than friendship, Eloise's feelings get the better of her and she goes to visit Emmett unannounced. He is shocked to see her, but let's her stay and she gets to know his mother and two younger sisters. The Bridgertons go looking for Eloise, worried something has happened to her. When she is found to have been staying for days in an unwed man's home without a chaperone, the potential scandal causes Anthony to force Eloise and Emmett to marry. Surprisingly, Emmett actually agrees so Eloise does too (all of this is essentially what happens in the book).

Eloise confesses to Emmett that she's nervous/resistant to physical intimacy, but he assures her they never have to be together that way. In fact, he would prefer the marriage of convenience they always talked about. Eloise is relieved until their kiss at the wedding sparks an attraction she wasn't expecting. They spend the first month or so of their marriage sleeping in separate rooms, enjoying each other's company, and letting the tension build. One night, Eloise's control and curiosity finally snaps and she goes to Emmett's room to initiate a physical relationship. She catches Emmett off guard in his sleeping clothes which makes it VERY clear... Emmett is a woman (cliffhanger of episode 4, and where we deviate from book canon to make it queer).

After the initial shock, Eloise allows her new "husband" to explain. Emmett is really Emma, the daughter believed to have died in a carriage accident with her father so many years ago. It was her twin brother that actually died, but since there were no other male heirs, Emma's family fortune would have gone to a distant uncle who is cruel and abusive. To save them of that fate, Emma's mother conspired with the local coroner to make it look like Emma was the one who died, so "Emmett" could inherit everything. Emma has been living as Emmett ever since, successfully keeping up the deception by keeping a low profile in society. The only reason Emma came to London that year is because her uncle died, and a cousin had come around asking questions hoping to inherit. She thought getting married would help secure her identity as Emmett and the cousin would back off. At first Eloise is outraged. She feels betrayed by Emma's duplicity, and is terrified if any of this ever got out everyone they know would be ruined forever. She agrees to keep the secret to save her family's reputation, but shuns Emma. Eventually, Emma (already aware that she's in love with Eloise) attempts to make amends and Eloise is charmed enough that she relaxes back into the relationship they had before the Big Reveal. The only problem is the attraction is still there, even more so now that Eloise knows the truth. Things come to a head, and they go at it Bridgerton style.

Emma and Eloise live happily in a true marriage for a bit until Cressida and Penelope come for a visit. They both find out about Emma, but are sworn to secrecy. Pen easily swears her loyalty (having already suspected Eloise), but Cressida is sickened. In a rage, she threatens to out them all, and storms back to London. Eloise follows her and begs Cressida to keep the secret, and tries to explain why the "wrong" feelings she has for Emma are very right for her. To Eloise's surprise, Cressida isn't upset about what she's doing with Emma, but who she's doing it with. She didn't know what they're doing was an option; that she was an option. Cressida confesses that if she'd known a life with Eloise was a choice she could make, it's the life she would have chosen. Eloise lets Cressida down easy by explaining they didn't have that choice. Everyone in the ton knows who they are. The only reason her relationship with Emma works is because of the ruse that allows Emma to be Emmett. Cressida takes this in stride, and vows to keep the secret, but her mother overhears and causes the biggest scandal London Society has ever seen.

The Bridgertons and a few friends (like Lady Danbury) are as understanding as possible, but the rest of the ton is rabid. Things escalate to the point where Emma and Eloise have to appear before the Queen. Emma pleads her case about pretending to save her family, and insists that Eloise didn't know until well after they were married so she's innocent. Eloise can't help herself and gets on her soapbox about the way society limits women, and that the Queen should understand their plight. Shockingly, she does. She annuls their "marriage" (because they didn't consummate anything... RIGHT?!) but she agrees to let Emma control her family's estate until one of her sisters produces a male heir. After that, she and Eloise will receive a pension from the Crown so they can live independently (the real Queen Charlotte actually did this for suspected historical sapphic couple The Ladies of Llangollen). Since Emma and Eloise would never be able to find husbands now, they decide that they'll just be two spinsters growing old together in their house in the countryside. You know... just two gal pals. No one believes that shit, but they rarely interact with the ton, so they're largely left alone to live as they please.

Happy ending, close to canon, historically accurate, and super gay. It's not that hard. You're welcome.

#did i really just fanfic a whole season of Bridgerton to prove a point? #of course i did! #GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!! #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #cressida cowper #creloise #eloise x cressida

[drchucktingle]

POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

#buckaroo lifestyle #health

[flowerandblood]

The Fall from the Heavens (32)

[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, assassination attempt, misunderstanding, physical violence, swearing ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

It seemed to him that it was only when he saw her that he awoke from some kind of half-sleep – as she threw herself into his arms, rejoicing, he remembered with affection how often she had done so when they were children.

He, his mother and his siblings, at the invitation of his uncle, Ormund Hightower, had travelled to the Old Town to visit their relatives and, certainly in his grandfather's eyes, to demonstrate to the Black party the extensive support his elder brother had offered them.

Daeron, his youngest brother, was to stay there under his protection.

He regretted it deeply, for although he was much younger than him, Daeron was a quiet and curious child, just like him; he liked to read to him before sleep about the great dragons and the conquests of their ancestors, sharing his knowledge with him.

However, his mother and father decided that he would receive his education in the Citadel and that he would stay there for many years until he reached the age of maturity.

He did not think it was a good idea to separate him from his family, but he did not dare to oppose his parents' wishes.

Even then he lived in the belief that they were infallible.

He shyly suggested that his betrothed could accompany him, knowing how much she wanted to see the legendary city, and in fact, he felt that her presence by his side would be something he would cherish.

However, his Queen responded to his proposal coldly, saying that Rhaenyra would surely be concerned about her and that she would not be separating the little girl from her mother.

His niece received this news with sadness, however, she beamed at his words that he would bring her some sort of memento from the Old Town.

Indeed, the Hightower family stronghold and the great white tower dominating the entire city made a gigantic impression on him. History beat from the buildings and tenements built of white stone, hundreds of years that had passed since Aegon the Conqueror had set foot there, walking the exact same streets as he had.

He thought sadly that he regretted not having his Rhaenys with him, for she would surely have delighted in everything around him, sharing with him this common joy, giving him the feeling that he was experiencing it all with someone rather than his older brother − he was yawning, bored, looking around only for a place to sit and drink wine after supper.

He might have found the time he spent there enjoyable had it not been for the fact that he felt lonely − despite spending time with his family and finally not having to watch Jace and Luke, he felt neither satisfaction nor contentment as a result.

He thought helplessly, lying alone in bed, that although he had a solitary nature, he had become used to her presence, the warmth she emanated, to the tender, soft embrace of her arms, the sound of her heartbeat under his cheek as he fell asleep.

He realised then, for the first time in his life, that he did not desire to marry her simply because of his father's will.

That he would have wanted to do so even if he had changed his mind.

The door to his chamber opened shortly after he had returned to the Red Keep − she ran through it with a smile wide and sincere, filled with laughter, her eyes shining like rays of sunshine as she was by his side a moment later, enclosing his waist in a tight, tender embrace of her little arms.

He smiled involuntarily under his breath, feeling satisfaction at the thought that she had immediately come to welcome him, which meant that she had missed him as dearly as he had missed her.

Taking advantage of the fact that they were alone, he enveloped her in his arms and cuddled her into him, pressing his face against her vanilla-scented hair.

"− I've missed you so much, uncle −" She muttered, squeezing him tightly, as if trying to melt into one with him.

"− there, there − your husband is by your side now −" He hummed, feeling proud, loved, wanted.

A thought flashed through the back of his mind that he had felt exactly the same then, when she had thrown herself into his arms in Harrenhal, when his hands had lifted her in a gesture of euphoria, when her legs had crossed over his back and their lips had found each other in a deep, lustful kiss from which his cock had swollen all over, slapping impatiently against her abdomen.

He felt like throwing her to the ground, pulling off her breeches and fucking her like a whore.

As it turned out, she shared this desire with him, for as soon as the door of his chamber closed behind them they behaved like animals − he took her as she stood, pressing her against the wall, pounding into her from behind with greedy, deep, impatient thrusts of his hips, her little, tight cunt barely able to fit him in, intensifying his sensation.

He knew he wouldn't last long, his cock was so hard it almost caused him pain.

"− why is it − so big − o-oh, gods −" She mumbled, clearly feeling herself exactly what he did. He licked his lips, watching as he opened her wide again and again with thrusts of his fat erection, her folds glistening in the sunlight from their shared sticky wetness, slick and warm, welcoming him home.

"− and what do you think − fuck, Rhaenys, I'm not going to pull it out of you tonight −" He exhaled, ashamed of his own desperation and what was happening to him, his own helpless groans, the violent, desperate stabs of his hips with which he thrust again and again into the delicate flesh of his beloved wife.

Her scent, her closeness, her sounds were driving him mad.

"− let me, Rhaenys − let me, let me, let me −" He breathed out pleadingly, feeling how wonderfully close his fulfilment was, which after a moment shook his whole body.

He leaned his head forward and parted his lips wide, making indefinable sounds of pleasure and relief as he felt his wife's little cunt clamp down on his cock, sucking his warm seed deep inside her.

He embraced her at the waist, sinking his face into her neck, into her hair, trying to calm the rapid pounding of his heart and his anxious, ragged breathing.

"− Rhaenys −" He whispered, in his tone of voice something like a question and a request at the same time.

"− hm? −"

"− stay wtih me −"

He heard her sigh softly and for a moment he was terrified that she would refuse him, that she would reject him again.

"− I will, my love −" She hummed, and he breathed a sigh of relief, kissing the skin of her neck with tenderness and devotion with his lips swollen with fulfilment.

"− what did you want to convey to me? − your mother has another condition? −" He asked reluctantly, at the same time wanting to focus only on her and wanting to know what the situation was like, whether anything had changed in his absence.

"− I'm carrying your child −"

He felt his heart stop, his healthy eye open wide in shock.

"− what? −" He mumbled.

He felt her take his hand in hers, placing it gently on her lower abdomen.

"− you're going to be a father, uncle −"

He tried to remain composed, but was unable to − a laugh of disbelief and joy left his throat, one he hadn't heard come from his lips in a long time. When her face turned to his he immediately shut her mouth with his, with a caress of his thirsty, wet lips showing her what he felt.

"− Rheanys − oh gods − this must be a dream −"

He became so euphoric that he took her twice more, the third time bringing her to such a state that the bedding had to be changed for fresh ones − he decided he would give the order after they had both rested, not wanting to rouse her from her slumber.

Bare, tired after the journey and the exertion he had forced her to make, filled to the brim with his spend and with his heir in her womb, she fell asleep peacefully in his arms, covered by him with thick furs to keep her from growing cold.

He thought that never before in his life had he loved her as dearly as he did now, although even then it seemed to him that his heart could not house such deep affection.

The thought that he could love her even more terrified him.

As soon as she was awake he ordered that a bath be prepared for them − they were both all sticky with sweat and he thought they could benefit from a moment of relaxation together.

After his servants had done their job and left his chamber they stood up, completely nude and shameless, sinking into the wonderfully warm, fragrant water. He pulled her in behind him and seated her between his thighs, a quiet murmur escaping his throat as her cheek pressed against his chest.

He was content.

He was satisfied.

He was fulfilled.

"− the gods are gracious to us − they support our cause −" He whispered, looking ahead with blank gaze, combing his fingers through her soft hair.

"− I wish to spend the day with you − I will order whatever you desire to be prepared for the supper −" He muttered, taking an unruly strand of her hair from her face, wanting everything to be perfect that day, his proof of how much he cared for her welfare and happiness.

His wife looked at him, her gaze clear and calm, without a shadow of regret.

"− I wish Baela would dine with us −" She murmured, raising her hand to his cheek. He closed his eyelid and pressed his lips together, reminding himself with frustration, though he tried to forget it, that his niece had not arrived in Harrenhal alone.

"− why? −"

"− if it wasn't for her, my mother wouldn't have allowed me to come here − she protected me and our child in the sky −"

He swallowed hard, letting the air out loud, feeling both discomfort and understanding at her words. Now that he knew his wife was with child, he actually appreciated that their cousin had not allowed her to travel alone and that, if only for that, he should show her hospitality.

"− so be it −" He muttered, wanting to end the topic.

"− where is Alys? −" She asked uncertainly, and he felt his heart leap up into his throat, his stomach squeezed into a knot. He ran his hand over his face, trying not to show his nervousness.

"− she is locked in her chamber −"

"− I wish to see her − perhaps tomorrow, when I…−"

No fucking way.

"− no − I spared her because you asked me to, but only for this reason − in return I demand that you do not go near her − she is a dangerous woman −" He said impatiently, all tense, feeling his heart pounding like mad, afraid of what else this hag might tell her.

What else she might lie about.

His wife seemed surprised by his reaction.

"− she helped me − she tried to protect me −" She mumbled out, and he felt something inside him snap.

In her eyes, this whore was flawless, and he was the cause of all their misery.

Was this part of her plan too?

"− she told you that she tried to seduce me behind your back by saying that she would carry my bastard child? − hm? − that prediction she didn't share with you? −" He hissed furiously, however he regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth.

He swallowed hard when he saw his niece shake her head as if she didn't understand what he had said, pale, her lower lip beginning to tremble, her eyes wide.

Fuck.

"− it's a lie − she was hoping I'd betray you, that I'd hurt you − I'm convinced this was part of Strong's plan − to distract me, to leave you alone and broken-hearted − the affection I have for you is a hindrance to him −" He explained quickly, raising his hand to her face, stroking her cheek tenderly, all warm with emotion, wanting somehow to soften his words, to make it clear that he had nothing to do with this vision.

That he felt as horrified and disgusted by her words as she did.

A shiver run along his spine as her hand stroked his bare, wet chest.

"− did you speak with her? − after you conquered Harrenhal? −" She mumbled, as if she was in complete shock.

He grunted, twisting in his seat with a quiet splash of water, unsure how to explain this to her without deepening her possible suspicions.

"− yes − I wanted to draw out of her why she did it −" He said.

"− you didn't tell me about her words − you hid it from me −" She said resentfully, her brow furrowed in exactly the same way as when he had told her about what was about to happen in the Eyrie.

He felt a cold sweat on the back of his neck at the thought, his breath stuck in his throat.

"− because that's what she wanted − to plant uncertainty in my heart and yours −"

"− how am I supposed to trust you if every day I find out that there is still something I don't know about? −" She muttered in pain, wanting to lift herself out of the water. He grabbed her waist in a gesture of horror and surprise, forcing her to fall between his thighs again, looking at her in disbelief.

"− if it wasn't for your request, she would already be dead −"

"− only dead will she give you the confidence that you will not do what she prophesied? −"

He let out a loud breath at her words, angry and hurt, feeling the accusation in her question, though when she was not by his side after he had locked Alys in her chamber, he did not devote his thoughts or his fantasies to this woman.

In truth, the fact that she was near, at his fingertips, and he felt no need to see her confirmed his belief that everything she had said was a lie.

Daemon was right.

Just because he perceived her as a fine-looking, perhaps even tempting woman didn't mean he needed or wanted to put his cock inside her.

He wasn't desperate, he wasn't broken because he knew that his wife, his lover, his childhood friend, though furious at him and hurt, though far away from him, had not abandoned him.

This realisation brought him relief because it made him understand that he was not an animal with no control over his instincts, but a thinking man with a will of his own, filled with warm, tender affection for the woman who was now looking at him in pain.

How was he to explain to her that he had been faithful to her not only with his body but also with his heart?

That what he really feared was that he might lose her again, this time forever?

"− do you want to argue over the words of that treacherous whore whose life you yourself asked me to spare? −" He asked at last, heartbroken that she was slipping out of his hands again, that he was losing her again despite the fact that only a moment ago they had been making love, unable to tear themselves away from each other.

Her lips tightened into a thin line out of helplessness.

"− I didn't know −"

"− so you fucking know now −" He growled, losing his temper, filled with rage and regret because she didn't believe him, because she couldn't see how deep his feeling was, even though he tried so hard.

After a while, however, something happened that he did not expect.

His niece burst out crying before his eyes, like a small child hiding her face in her hands.

This sight cooled his anger, bringing him back to earth.

"− shhh − come here −" He whispered, pulling her head towards him, cuddling her face into his chest, locking her into the tight, secure embrace of his arms, and she did not push him away.

They stayed like that for a long moment, not moving, his lips placing a tender, warm kiss on her head once in a while, taking in her scent.

He couldn't be mad at her, his sweet little wife, the mother of his child.

She had given him everything he had ever wanted.

"− no more secrets, Rheanys −" He whispered.

"− you know everything now − I am bare before you, not just with my body − you see me as I am −" He added, staring dully ahead, playing with the wet strands of her hair, contemplating how exposed he was to her, with what ease she could hurt him if she wanted to.

"− when you were not by my side, I had nightmares − I dreamt that you were dying, each time through my fault − I dreamt it because it is what I dread the most − in the years that you have been in Dragonstone a cold, black emptiness has burned in me − I have felt nothing − I have experienced nothing − my mother placed the daughters of the lords under my nose, and all I could think of when I looked at them was that they were not similar enough to you − they couldn't or didn't want to understand my true nature − they didn't see me −"

He muttered, feeling that his words were not coming from his mind, but more from his subconscious, from what lurked in the depths of his heart.

It was everything he had wanted to write to her in response to her letters over the years, but couldn't − every time he wrote those words down on parchment he felt pathetic, weak, small and tore the result of his work to shreds, throwing them into the fire where they burned just like his heavy heart, filled with darkness and pain.

"− I am tired, Rhaenys − I am exhausted − since that night, when I tamed Vhagar, I have had no peace, no rest − only with you, then, in that chamber beneath the Red Keep, when I fell asleep by your side − I −" He sighed, pressing his forehead against hers, unable to properly explain what he wanted to say, what an agony the eight years he had spent separated from her had been for him.

Some part of him believed it would get better, while the other part screamed with rage, regret and disappointment.

He tried to reconcile these two halves with each other, but he couldn't, because they simply didn't fit together.

One of them wanted to kill her, the other wanted to abduct her and take her as his wife.

When she arrived years later in the Red Keep, he was on the verge of madness.

"− I'll speak with her − alone −" She whispered after a moment, and he froze, looking at her in disbelief as she stood up slowly with a splash of water and stepped out of the bath.

He felt the pain of humiliation and regret that now that he had really opened up to her, she seemed not to be listening to him.

An unpleasant shudder of rejection shook his body as he ran his hand over his face, bitter.

"− my words mean nothing to you? −"

"− it's not about you, uncle − I have to do it for myself −"

His words accomplished nothing − his niece demanded that his guards lead her to the chamber of the Witch of Harrenhal, and he agreed, leading her figure away with sad, empty gaze.

He waited for her in a gloomy mood, not even wanting to imagine what this whore might have put into her head.

He covered his face with his hand, swallowing hard at the thought that she could have told her anything − suggested that he had taken her into his bed when he conquered Harrenhal, that he had tried to take her by force, that he had courted her, anything her imagination could bring that would make his wife push him further away.

He thought with rage that he should have killed her when he had the chance.

He shuddered as his wife stepped into his chamber after a period of time that seemed to him to last for hours. He rose from his chair, horrified to see that she had not bestowed a single glance on him, her face expressing nothing.

He watched as she sat behind his desk without a word, feeling his heart pound like mad at the sight of her hands reaching for parchment and quill.

"− what did she tell you? −" He asked coldly.

His wife did not lift her gaze to him, bent over her letter, dipping the tip of her quill in ink.

"The truth. I am writing a letter to my cousin in the Eyrie to accept Alys into his fortress as a medic." She replied calmly, without a trace of regret or anger.

He swallowed loudly, concerned, not knowing what had happened there, what was meant by that enigmatic expression on her face that told him absolutely nothing.

He could not, however, hide his relief at the thought that his wife had regained her reason and wanted to send that treacherous whore away.

"Good." He replied dispassionately.

He paced around the room, looking at her, begging in his mind for her to look at him, to tell him that this woman had confirmed his words, and that she didn't resent him for anything.

His niece, however, as soon as she had placed her letter in the hands of the servant, lay down in his bed saying that she was very tired and wished to rest before supper.

He approached her uncertainly and sat down beside her on the bedding, his hand rising to her shoulder and stroking it in a gentle, affectionate gesture.

"− shouldn't you have a meal now? − surely you are hungry and thirsty after such a long journey −" He asked, feeling that now more than ever he had to look out for her and her well-being, wanting to make sure she was provided with everything she needed.

"− there is no need, uncle − I will wait until evening −" She whispered and closed her eyes, letting him know that she had ended the subject.

He sighed heavily and stood up, sitting down behind his desk, bending over the correspondence he had exchanged with his brother, together trying to find out where Lord Strong had hidden and whether their grandfather had put his hand to his disappearance.

His wife, true to her word, only got up when the servants began to prepare the table for supper; he watched her without saying a word, thinking she looked charming as she did now, sleepy, with her hair in a slight disarray, rubbing her tired eyelids with her hands before asking one of the women to help her get herself in order.

It was a sight meant only for him − her husband.

They waited with the main courses for Baela. When his cousin stepped into his chamber she emanated with joy, a smile of satisfaction on her face that made his stomach twist. He looked away at this sight, frustrated, and sighed heavily.

"Dear cousin. My congratulations. You are going to become a father." She said softly and he only nodded, wanting her to end this feigned courtesy as soon as possible, fill her stomach with food and wine and leave them alone.

Baela took a seat on his left and his wife sat opposite her, on his right. His niece nodded at the servant to begin serving the table − the door to his chamber opened and several young men and women entered with jugs of wine and trays full of food. One of them approached his wife and leaned over her − she nodded, wishing the man would pour her some wine.

The servant filled her cup halfway, as was good custom, she, however, shook her head.

"More." She demanded, leaving him and her cousin in consternation.

"Is that wise? In your condition…" He muttered, wondering if it would be good for their child, but her stern gaze made him close his mouth, recognising that he didn't want to add to both of their frustrations that evening.

As soon as the servant had done his duty his niece raised her cup as if she wanted to make a toast. He assumed she wanted to drink to the health of their yet-to-be-born child and reached for his goblet, however, she pointed her chalice towards the man standing next to her, who looked at her questioningly.

"Drink." She commanded.

The servant smiled shyly at her, as if he did not understand what she expected of him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Drink. To the bottom."

A long, awkward silence fell − he felt his heart stop in his throat, a cold, unpleasant shiver run along his spine.

What?

The boy laughed, shaking his head, clearly nervous and terrified.

"I am not worthy, Your Grace. I would not dare."

"I order you to drink it all to the last drop." She hissed in a voice that did not bear opposition.

The wine was poisoned.

"I can't, Your Grace, I…"

"FUCKING DRINK IT." He growled with rage as he stood up abruptly from the table, looking at him with wide-open eye thinking that if he didn't, he would pour the contents of that cup down his throat himself.

The man shook his head and he pressed his lips into a thin line, moving towards him like an enraged animal.

"Hold him." He threw to his guards, who immediately grabbed the boy by the shoulders, refusing to let him break free despite his terror and cries.

"N-no, Your Grace. I can't drink wine. It affects me badly. I might die." He whined, tears in his eyes, his face pale as if death itself stood before him.

He wanted to poison his wife.

How many other people here were acting on Lord Strong's orders?

He was sure he'd gotten rid of all the rats by recruiting new people to work in the fortress, but as he could see, new ones were appearing anyway.

He should have killed them all.

He smiled at his words in a way at which the boy wept aloud, clearly knowing what awaited him. He took the cup from his niece's hand, who looked at him with parted lips.

The dragon's blood now pulsed through his veins.

Dragons knew no forgiveness.

"I'd love to see this." He sneered, gripping his cheeks in his palm, squeezing his jaw as hard as if he wanted to break it.

The boy cried out loudly as he tilted his head back with a brutal jerk, digging his fingers into the skin of his face forcing him to open his mouth. He grinned as he pressed the cup to his lips, forcibly pouring its entire contents down his throat.

The man began to choke, trickles of wine running from the corners of his mouth down his cheeks. When he thought it was over, he reached for the jug and filled the cup again, repeating the same process. He pressed his lips together when he saw his eyes fill with blood, his skin begin to turn purple, his body shaken by convulsions.

The servant collapsed to the ground, blood and foam beginning to drip from his mouth as if he were some kind of butchered animal, and the only thing he could think of, looking at him wide-eyed, was that this was what his wife could look like, the woman who was carrying his child inside her.

The woman he loved could have died that evening in his arms.

#aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #prince aemond #aemond smut #aemond targaryen smut #aemond fanfic #prince aemond targaryen #canon aemond #aemond x female #aemond x wife #aemond x niece #aemond x female character #aemond x original female character #aemond x original character #aemond angst #aemond targaryen angst #ewan mitchell fanfiction #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell smut #ewan mitchell angst #aemond x oc #ewanverse #hotd smut #hotd angst #hotd fanfic #hotd fic #aemond hotd

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - All's Quiet on the BL Front

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 3 of 12 - I love how were getting a solid depiction of two queers just genuinely enjoying sex with each other. That’s actually rare in BL. In this case, it manages to also be weirdly adorable and cute.

Dee is such a tease. I guess Y likes a brat? 

LOOK at those bedroom eyes!

Linguistics corner: when these two are being serious, sweet, or flirty with each other they use rao/nai which is kind of old fashioned and charming and not common in BL. They move pretty seamlessly into gu/mueng and back depending on the style of convo, tho. It's FUN to hear them talk.

Let the fake relationship commence!

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 eps - I HAVE THOUGHTS. I'm really enjoying the sinister backbone of this show. I hope they have the courage of their convictions in that regard and lean into a kind of sexy evil revenge narrative. It was a pleasure to watch the break up and I do not want a redemption arc for Ming or a romance for us. Fuck 'em, let’s just ride a revenge train, okay Joe baby?

That’s said, I totally sniffled at the ending scene where Ming (for two years!) has been paying penance cooking for two and waiting alone. Excellent pathos. Now, I understand how they're gonna make this a full 12 eps. And I’m excited about it. Carry on!

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 16 - I wasn't a fan of Winny & Satang in My School President but I'm loving them in this. The thing with Q, Toey, and Chain had me hooting with laughter. I think I’m finally just easing into the relaxed absurdity of this show. The key is not to expect anything from it. Just them being tiny gay idiots.

Two Worlds (iQIYI) ep 10 fin - Someday I’d like to really enjoy a MaxNat show, but today was not that day. (I feel like ever since Between Us I’ve been generally disenchanted with established OG pairs and what they’re bringing to the table. Perhaps that’s a discussion for another day. Cherry Magic excepted, of course.) 

OK, so this final episode, they sure tried to fit a lot in. But that made the pacing better for me. So I kinda liked this weird cliff notes resolution to the story.

In conclusion:

MaxNat do a credible job with a messy script about parallel worlds, gangsters, and strange diseases cured by forest fruits. It sounds confusing because it is. The chemistry is excellent the side pair is entirely forgotten about, and one could drive a Tardis through the plot holes. Still, I found it modestly enjoyable if not at all rewatchable. 7/10 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I do love how bold and brash Moo is. He’s truly a great character, such an utter outgoing sunshine puppy focused on his pursuit of his older boy. I'm charmed by his utter harmlessness. They gave us a sweet coming out scene, and an awesome supportive mom. Frankly GMMTV has a good track record with moms. (With a few noted exceptions, of course.)

That said, I do keep forgetting this is a GMMTV offering. It just doesn't FEEL GMMTV. Just me?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - Starts tomorrow, will report on sitch next week. LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead. But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - I like it. I like our sulky 2nd lead. He’s pouty, adorable, brash, and adding some much-needed tension to this narrative. The blurring lines between show within a show is a lot of fun. Probably the best I've seen done in BL so far.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like that we got backstory, but we also sort of already knew it. So this ep felt a bit like filler. They are wonderful when they’re on screen together but when they aren't it's a bit dull. I hope we just get them together for the next 4 eps. But this is Japan, so I doubt it.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - The image resolution on this show (via Iqiyi ) is terrible. Meanwhile, awkward crush. Jock nerd pairing. Dorky. Maybe a bit too much awkward/dorky for me? I'm not sold on this one.

Meanwhile the ordering then not eating or drinking of food continues. Very upsetting.

Boys Be Brave (Korea Viki) eps 5-8fin - This show was just never sure what it wanted to be. Slacker sunshine KiSub moves in with nerd JinWoo, mostly because he knows JinWoo likes him but won't confess and that's never happened to him before. It reminded me of some earlier KBLs like Behind Cut, yes is had bones but not much flesh, so it only just hung together and progressed through not very much plot in a jerking rattling fashion like an animated skeleton. All the story and chemistry was with the side couple and none of the screen time. That just annoyed me. What did this BL want to BE? Who tf knows. I, for one, don’t care, and resolve to think no more on it. 6/10 

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) - This ended at 4 eps on a cliffhanger. Since this is a very small studio I don’t have a lot of faith in there being a part two. But they have bundled both this BL, and the GL, bingable chunks on YT. So if you want to binge it, it’s there. Just be aware that it ends on a cliffhanger.

My thoughts?

Promising reunion romances full of class and coming out struggles but I grade with what we got, not on expectations, and you know I HATE a cliffhanger. So yeah, it HAD promise but as of now it gets a 4/10 - fatally flawed. I reserve the right to change my mind if they amend for damages.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

In case you missed it

A really really thorough and fascinating article on 2 Moons 2 and what happened.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV) - I'm hoping I can get it elsewhere since my WeTV account is inactive, but I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng... so I won't be too cut up if I can't get hold of this. More here.

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I'm a sucker for this king of casual claiming. (Only Boo)

It me! (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @sunflower-positiiivity @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

#this week in BL #BL updates #My Stand-In the series #Wandee Goodday #Two Worlds the series #We Are the series #My Stand-In #Living With Him #Blossom Campus #Kare no Iru Seikatsu #At 25:00 in Akasaka #25 Ji Akasaka de #Blue Boys the series #Boys Be Brave #BL series review #upcoming BL #BL news #BL reviews #BL gossip #Thai BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #Taiwanese BL #Koren BL #BL starting soon #BL coming soon

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

as someone who's an azul kinnie im curious why you placed azul on the slightly dislike list considering you like scheming characters

[My TWST character tier list is here.]

I think the easiest way to explain it is that I came in with the wrong expectations of him? I thought Azul would be similar to what Jade’s character actually was, so Jade ended up upstaging him in that regard. Essentially, not all scheming characters are equivalent; Azul has other traits which weigh him down for me.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll reiterate it here because I feel it is very relevant for Azul. I… tend to not like “main” guys because of of how much they appear everywhere (including merch and marketing); it makes me feel like I’m being “pushed” to like them specifically rather than being allowed to think for myself about who I like. This is the case for dorm leaders, which includes Azul. Additionally, “main” guys tend to get more of a story focus (also true of the dorm leaders), and that in of itself can be a double edged sword. It means more information + backstory about that character, and while that’s great for lore and fleshing them out, it also means potentially polarizing the fans who were content with their perception of the character prior to the reveal. Once that change happens, it completely shifts how you see the character and then you can’t go back to how you felt before. This was a painful factor in what I call the “stock market crash” of my opinion of Azul Ashengrotto.

I actually quite liked him at first. I took his hand at the start when I first started playing TWST back in 2020 ^^! I even *gasp* simped a little??? (weird AU where Azul was my oshi instead of J word…) He was every bit an intelligent and calculating deal maker as I suspected he would be—well, at least that’s what the few vignettes available at the time and book 2 implied. Back then, only books 1 and 2 were available in full and book 3 was slooowly being updated in chunks. And really, I was liking book 3 a lot (he was still being a silly little scumbag, lol) and took no issue with it… UNTIL THE LAST PART DROPPED 💀 AND WE GOT HIS BACKSTORY…

Now 💦 I’m aware that the OB boys’ backstories usually garner sympathy and enhance the preexisting love we have for those characters but… Azul’s backstory actually had a very strong opposite effect on me. It was the moment I realized, “Hey, maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did.” I’d describe the feeling like having a pleasant dream and then you’re suddenly violently awoken by a loud alarm clock, a screeching parrot, and Sebek shouting in your ears at once.

I want to be clear when I say I do not mean to demean or to diminish Azul’s experiences of being bullied. I also do not mean to shame Azul for being (rightfully) upset about his circumstances or for being emotional. When I say that I started disliking Azul because of this backstory, it’s for a very personal reason: I just don’t like stories where a victim of bullying becomes a bully, thus perpetuating the cycle. It’s sad to see someone go down that path, spreading more hate because of the hate they had received before… and I’ll never believe that revenge is a good response for an injustice 😔 Azul’s case is a little different, as he does eventually go on to recognize how far he has strayed from the benevolent ideals of the Sea Witch and is now actively trying to work on himself (which I appreciate and applaud him for). However, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t quite scrub away. I think it’s because I found myself relating to kid!Azul in some ways, so that personal connection amplified the disappointment I felt in the decisions he made. It feels like looking into an alternate reality where I, too, went down a dark path—and that thought is unpleasant, to say the very least. Now I view Azul more like a cautionary tale and keep a safe distance from him.

#twisted wonderland #twst #Azul Ashengrotto #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #question #book 3 spoilers

[nabnab-official]

garten of banban's biggest strength is its characters. I mean, the actual gameplay of banban is not too great imo, like the drone mechanic is such a pain in the ass. i think that the characters is what really is keeping it going. I originally started following banban because I like awful media, stuff that is so bad its good. but overtime I've come to actually enjoy some of the characters in this game. banban is a good example. I find him really interesting and really sad. he thinks he is uthman adam, the human who donated his DNA to create him. he thinks that he is a human who used to work there, until one day all his co workers just turned on him and locked him away, treating him like a monster. he doesn't understand why, because he thinks he's still a human. he did meet the real uthman, though, and it made him have a total breakdown. does he know he's not human, and just denies it to keep himself safe? because if he's not the real uthman, then who is he? is he insecure about his identity, and that's why he gets mad when the other mascots call him banban? does he think of himself as different from them, because he thinks he's still human? i just find something about that so interesting and so depressing. he can never go back to the life he thought he had, because he's not the real uthman. he's just a creature made using his DNA and memories. like that's so fucked up and depressing. banban's strongest suit is definitely the characters, and I find the most entertainment in their interactions with one another and such. I think it could be really well done if they just focused on the writing/story aspect of it more.

#garten of banban #banban #banban is def my fav character #syringeon too #if the devs really leaned in more to the story and the more depressing aspects of this it could be really good #come on guys

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! School is out for me, so I can finally rest. Oh man. I needed the rest. It's great to sit there an not move, isn't it? And I got to listen to so many good podcasts this week as well, it really made the last week of school a treat. Let's take a look:

🍔 I feel like every new episode of @midnightburgr is a precious little gem, and this one is no different. I love getting to see pre-found-family Casper. You can't escape the found family, idiot, get cherished! It's been good to watch his character development throughout the show, and then seeing this little missing piece of it that he doesn't quite remember answers several questions about him. I love him. He's the worst and I love him. Alongside each of the three sisters, this season is promising to be absolutely fascinating.

📼 Oh The Magnus Protocol, you never disappoint. I want to run this episode by the teenagers I know to see what they think of it, because I understood what the influencer was saying, but I know many adults who absolutely would not. Like, I'm on this website. Meanwhile, Alice rejecting help is setting her up for something truly awful and I dread what her fate may be. It's delicious.

👻 @monstrousproductions's Travelling Light is often so soft and good--I neglected to include last week's episode on the AD Sunday write-up, like a FOOL, even though it made me CRY--but this episode settles into a gorgeous little ghost story that's honestly the logical conclusion of creative sentients in space. I loved it. On top of that, there's this tiny morsel of Óli's backstory that I am DYING to know more about. I can't wait for the next ep.

🪲 @cryptonature always hits just right, but this last episode was everything I want in the world. MOSS TIDE MOSS TIDE MOSS TIDE

🧛🏻‍♂️What a treat it is to listen to @re-dracula along with everyone this year. I am loving everyone's analysis and thoughts this go-round and I am once again appreciating the work of Ben Galpin and Karim Kronfli in creating just the most horrific character dynamic. I know droughtula is imminent, so there's still plenty of time to catch up. Join us, join us, join us--

✂️ In Hannah news, Inn Between is starting to wrap up for the season! This week brings the penultimate episode, which is definitely totally fine and won't bode ill for any beloved party members of the Lowlifes. We'll also see the last episode of "Run Rabbit" on The Dead, and I'm so pleased with my actors' work, so I can't wait to hear what the sound wizards have done with it.

Hey! This week is better than last as far as finances go--thanks to my beloveds for helping out--but if you like what I make or enjoyed reading this, would you consider leaving me a tip?

See y'all next week!

#audio drama sunday #audio fiction #fiction podcast #midnight burger #the magnus protocol #travelling light #the cryptonaturalist #re: dracula #inn between #the dead podcast

[vidavalor]

So I’ve been thinking about your metatron is Satan theory and how Crowley, the Angels and Adam see what they expect to see and idly wondering if it’s sort of the same for all demons. We have multiple versions of Crowley and Bildad, and lots of theories as to why, but what if it’s as simple as the various characters see what they expect and so we the viewer see variations? Beez getting a new face may throw a spanner into that idea but it just seems to me that if this is the plot twist in season three then the different versions of Crowley may be a clue… anyhow your meta was brilliant and wanted to toss my poorly thought out 1am musings at you to see what you thought.

Hi there @thavron! Hope you're having a great weekend so far. 💕I've been thinking again about bees a bit as a result of your ask so there is baklava for a honeyed dessert. Love your thoughts-- they've been tickling my brain for a few days now. 😊

If you're meaning: do we all sometimes see people as we want them to be or who we think they are, rather than who they actually are... then, yes, I would say that fits in with the recognition themes the show has going on.

To an extent, we all do this, right? And the show about angels and demons is really about the messy and amazing business of being a person. All the angels and demons are people, just like the humans. We all put on a performance in society to some extent. Our clothes, our grooming choices, how we speak, how we walk, eye contact, body language-- all of this is a performance. It's a construct that we get up every morning and do. Awhile back, we were looking at the choices David Tennant is making when it comes to Crowley's walk in different time periods-- especially when Crowley takes the stage to help Aziraphale in 1941-- and how the walk is representative of how comfortable he feels in society in different eras. That's just one aspect of things but, yeah, we're all showing one face to the world as a whole but those we let in often get to see another one.

I think that, for the most part, this holds true with angels and demons. Satan is an exception to the rule because he's Satan and actually evil so he is capable of the dubious kind of magic that the other characters don't really do. Satan will possess someone without consent, for instance. It's not hard to see that he would steal someone's physical appearance to mask his own as he already stole the voice of Freddie Mercury in S1 (which I also think is another clue to the idea that it's not actually The Metatron at the end of S2, as we've seen Satan do something like this before already.)

I think that the rest of the demons see what we see when they look at one another, on a physical appearance level. As you pointed out, Crowley can see that Beez has a new face in S2 so Crowley sees Beez's physical presentation as how we see Beez's physical presentation. He also can recognize Shax when she's bouncing around humanoid forms outside the bookshop in the mid-part of the season. There are different versions of Crowley because Crowley has lived on Earth forever and is just blending in with different societies (and he also gets bored lol.) I think that's one aspect of the recognition theme in the show because what we see when we look at each other and how that informs our ability to recognize ourselves seems like a big thing in the story.

I think S2 is talking about recognition on several different levels. We have recognition in terms of how every character on the show is really desperate for someone to tell them that they're good and that they're doing a good job. Beez's only solo scene in the whole season is actually about that and it parallels Aziraphale's anger, embarrassment, and frustration over Heaven's treatment of him. Everyone's a bit Norman from S1 who wanted a watch and some kind words and to bugger off and go tend to some marigolds but whose company wouldn't let him go and dragged him into a paintball Armageddon lol.

It's only natural to want recognition, really, as we all want to be noticed and seen for what we do, but it also underscores a bigger theme of that how we see ourselves can impact our ability to fully see others... but also how if we open ourselves up and allow room for curiosity and empathy, our ability to see others as they are allows for more open, honest, communication... and how that's good for all of us. That way lies peace-- both inner peace and peace with others.

In almost every major scene in S2, at least one character is trying to recognize at least one other one in some way and it's often literally recognizing the person. There is no one character in the series who is flawless at this and that's because they're all people representing us and none of us are flawless at this, are we? At recognizing ourselves or at fully seeing others at times without our own bullshit getting in the way? Even those of us who consciously try to be open, empathetic people struggle with this because we're people. The angels and demons are no better or worse than any of the humans and their story is actually about the messy but amazing business of being a person, which they all are.

If and how the characters recognize others around them in S2 reflects how those characters see themselves and the world around them. It's a matter of perspective and it's not one-sided because how we present ourselves to the world reflects what we're willing to share and sets up expectations that some others might take at face value but that might not be true. Other, more open-minded people might be able to see through those walls, though, if they're in a place to do so.

Ineffable Bureaucracy are the cleanest example of this (and one of the funniest) because here you have in Gabriel a character that you don't expect would be as open-minded as he is. In a lot of scenes in S1, we saw him putting on airs to cover up his curiosity and empathy as a means to survive. Yet, he has one of the smoothest recognition challenges in S2.

At first, he doesn't recognize Beez with their new face but, once it's established that this is the being he likes greatly, he doesn't think twice about it. Gabriel looks like the kind of guy who would care about appearance of others because he's a bit vain about his own but he literally could give a fuck that his partner changed up their face because what matters to him more is that it was the same person inside.

The guy who seems like the shallowest character on the show-- and, in some ways, is-- is actually also one of the least shallow. He also knew without question that he could trust Aziraphale and Crowley and went to them for help intuitively, even without consciously remembering them. Gabriel is actually a pretty good judge of character, all things considered. In S2, we learn more about him and as the characters recognize that he might not be quite who they thought he was, it's on us to see that we can think that, too. Our perspectives can evolve with a bit of empathy.

Lord Beezlebub also shows that they can be good at recognizing truth in others, too. One of the best moments of recognition in S2 is when Beez sees Gabriel's vanity for the loneliness that it masks when he takes them to see the statue of himself. Most of us, honestly, would probably run screaming from a guy who took us to show us art of himself and bragged about how beautiful it was but Beez gets it. They see Gabriel then even more than he sees himself a bit. They see that he really took them here because the statue is all he feels he is to people and he's being crushed under the weight of being revered like a god by humans and angels alike. He's just a lonely dude with no friends and more heart than he lets on.

The statue scene is also the punchline to the joke started earlier in the season during The Resurrectionist minisode, though, right?It calls back to Crowley saying that Gabriel probably came to the statue to "stare at it for hours" and "marvel at his own beauty." Crowley wasn't wrong, exactly, but he also wasn't fully correct, either. He didn't understand totally why Gabriel might really come to the statue, which Beez later would understand.

Crowley is one of the best judges of character in the series but S2 showed just how much his blindspot is his trauma, like it is for a lot of people. Crowley took almost the whole season to see Gabriel for who he is and he had reason to distrust him, sure. His fear of the situation is reasonable and understandable but it also shows a narrowed perspective. It showed how it was hard for Crowley to admit to himself that maybe Gabriel has been as trapped as he and Aziraphale have been-- that maybe he's as much of a victim and a survivor of all of this as they are-- because they've spent so long ascribing blame to him instead of considering that maybe he, also, had no way out. Recognizing Gabriel means Crowley recognizing and dealing with aspects of his trauma that he'd sometimes rather avoid, which made it harder and caused it to take longer for the two of them to get to a point of actually talking. When they do, we see them recognizing each other's suffering and showing each other empathy. The end of S1 is Crowley spitting hellfire in Gabriel's face but the end of S2 is just him all ugh ok fine...

Growth lol.

We also see how history can provide context that can inform the ability to recognize others as well. Aziraphale has a longer, more complicated history with Gabriel than Crowley does. Aziraphale had more reason to suspect that there could be more to Gabriel than he always let everyone see, especially since there are a couple of scenes in S1 without Crowley but between just Gabriel and Aziraphale (the sushi restaurant and the Sandalphon exchange at the bookshop) where it seems like Gabriel is trying to protect Aziraphale as best he knows how and that Aziraphale seems aware that he's trying to do that. It's how Aziraphale arrives first at "I don't think he has any friends" and thinking that Gabriel needed him and Crowley, especially since he had shown up alone and vulnerable.

Aziraphale also sees the benefit of trying to get Gabriel and Crowley to talk to one another-- not in a would-benefit-Heaven-and-Hell sort of way, just in the sense that they are more alike than they realize and had been through similar things. That's a form of recognition as well-- acknowledgement of a person's pain and needs when they've not had that from others. Aziraphale is proven correct and his ability to see both Crowley and Gabriel for who they are and who they can be is admirable and shows his empathy and open-mindedness.

But mah point is that it's scene after scene of recognition... Gabriel's entire plot. Muriel shows up at the door, doesn't recognize Aziraphale. Crowley can't remember (or chooses to pretend he can't remember) Furfur and Saraqael. Michael almost recognizes Gabriel in the bookshop. Shax is desperate for Satan's recognition for her job performance-- but also for Crowley's attention. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets wants everyone to see him as a leader. Maggie feels unlovable and just wants Nina to notice her, all while failing to recognize that what Nina wants is for someone to notice that she's in pain and to lend her support... this is all off of the end of S1 and the body swap plot in which Crowley and Aziraphale literally stayed alive by being able to recognize one another on different levels so astutely that they could impersonate one another. (Another hint, imho, that maybe the mirrored end of S2 might feature another character who seems like one character we know but who is actually another with The Metatron-is-actually-Satan idea.)

Even the little moments of the season have recognition woven into them. Do we know a Jim?, Maggie and Nina's first scene is kicked off by Nina recognizing Maggie as a regular and remembering her coffee order...

Maybe the sweetest moment of the whole season is a scene highlighting Aziraphale's struggles with reconciling his own needs in the face of having been taught he's not to want anything for himself and Crowley recognizing that struggle and supporting Aziraphale by telling him he's already perfect as he is. Damn straight I'm including the gifs I love this damn scene lol..

But the big scene that parallels the arrival of "The Metatron" in The Final 15 is the angels failing to recognize Bildad the Shuite coming through the door, right?

When Crowley comes in as Bildad the Shuite to the group scene in the Job minisode, Gabriel, Michael and the other angels fail to recognize Bildad as Crowley entirely because of the things Crowley later explained to Muriel as his analogy around bees. The idea is that context, imagination and ego inform our ability to recognize someone (and also ourselves.)

Contextually, it made more sense to the angels in that moment for Bildad to be some weird human than it did for him to be a demon working to save the lives of Job's children. This is one of the main reasons why the angels don't recognize Crowley-- they simply don't see a scenario where there would be someone to recognize. It's just like how Michael initially doesn't assume that the person who comes through the door in 2.06 could be anyone they should care about-- because they're on Earth, in a bookshop that is open to the public, so the unexpected person who came through the door must be a human person shopping for books.

Context also includes appearance and one of the things I loved about the other angels failing to realize that they know Bildad is how it contrasts with my favorite bit of recognition in S2-- Aziraphale instantly recognizing Crowley from a distance, after over 500 years, and with Crowley looking completely different. The second Aziraphale actually looks at the demon he's telling to avaunt! on outta there, he knows it's Crowley. The jump from the Crowley of The Flood to Bildad the Shuite is huge. Crowley even has sunglasses on for the first time chronologically in the scene and Aziraphale's just like "it's you." He would recognize the love of his life anywhere.

As far as the ego part goes, all Gabriel cared about in the Job minisode was a scenario that didn't undermine him and which got all the boxes checked on their assignment so when Crowley and Aziraphale present him with that, Gabriel is happy to shut down any minor opposition to the truth to go with what he is presented with-- in large part because of ego. Aziraphale and Crowley flatter Gabriel into submission to their plan. Gabriel eats it up and because he has the power in the scene, Michael's suspicions are not given credence for more than a moment.

Michael also lacks the imagination to figure out what could actually be going on and takes what they're told is the truth too easily because, like most know-it-alls, they actually don't really feel like they know anything. They defaulted to Gabriel's "they can come at any size" comment so easily not just because he had the power in the scene but because they suddenly doubted themselves and let someone else tell them how they were to think.

Michael's lack of imagination and tendency towards purely literal thinking is also on display when they are shown to not understand Crowley's shoes joke. They sense shenanigans are afoot but don't exactly know how and they also seek to look impressive to the boss so they jump in that "'Shuite', of course, means 'from the land of 'Shua'," which is correct. It does mean that. Michael is not wrong but they just are so sheltered by life in Heaven and so lacking in imagination that they also lack sense of humor enough to hear the homophony in Shuite/Shoes. The only angel who gets the joke is, of course, Aziraphale.

So, a lack of imagination (which is also a lack of big picture and creative thinking), a reliance upon context, and the perils of ego are why the angels didn't recognize Bildad as Crowley in 2500 BC and are also what Crowley is explaining to Muriel with his bees analogy.

It wouldn't actually occur to the angels as possible that there could just be a demon roaming around in Heaven because they're all too caught up in themselves to consider the possibility, right? To admit that it's possible is to admit that maybe they themselves are fallible and don't know everything. Angels are taught that they are near to perfection and should behave in that way so it's hard to think of themselves as having weaknesses that might need to be addressed. They all know they do have them but they can't admit it or they're admitting at failing to live up to the impossible standards of Heaven.

Many of us have trouble admitting that the point is that we're all here to learn and be curious and we aren't meant to know everything and that things would be less fun if we did. We struggle to admit when we've gotten something-- or someone-- wrong. People who have an inability to see a bigger picture are also sometimes blocked from doing so by their own trauma and issues-- as Crowley himself proves.

Sometimes, people just aren't that imaginative or haven't had the opportunity to use their imagination, as Crowley sees in the angels. The point is that none of us are perfect in our ability to recognize ourselves and those around us. If we all just continue to try to do so and keep a curious, open mind about each other, though, it leads to more peace for everyone. It means we're talking to each other more, which is the healthy way forward.

So, if the whole season is using these characters to talk about our ability to see ourselves and others and if it has us watch scene after scene of recognition or lack thereof between the characters where we feel like these characters might not know what's up but we sure do, right?...

...we knew Gabriel was telling the truth about his memory loss... we knew the Inspector Constable at the door was the angel from the Job minisode... we recognized Lord Beezlebub with a new face... we definitely knew who came through the door and called himself "Bildad the Shuite"...

...wouldn't it then be a kicker if the end of that season is to prove the point by showing us that we're all actually as infallible as these characters are? That we're all bees, too?

And how would they do that?

Possibly by presenting us with a character we think we can recognize but which, if we look a little closer, we might realize is not quite who he seems to be.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens theory

[acourtofthought]

I like your blog a lot for a long time. You have lots of great theories and There’s one theory of yours that i struggle with though and it’s that Elucien will come first because they’ve suffered more than the others. It’s not that I don’t believe Elucien can’t be next I think there is a very good chance, but this specific reason that they deserve it first is what gets me

Hasn’t Azriel been waiting for a mate or some answer from the Mother for 500+ years? (Not saying this is right but it’s the info given to us). Hasn’t Gwyn been in a library for 2 years looking for courage to go outside? Is Sjmass really going to writing the next two couples in order of who’s been more wronged? If that’s the case Helion and Lady Autumn’s story should’ve been resolved long ago. I think is purely a stan/shipper feeling to think a couples book should come first because other characters need to repent to faves before they get their happiness

For me, it's a little more involved than that.

First off, Az being hung up on Mor for 500 years and someone thinking he should get a book next for that reason is not a strong enough argument in my opinion. If he were to end up with Mor than sure, maybe that would make a bit more sense but she is not his endgame person therefore their past should not really influence his love story with Gwyn. As of November-ish in SF, we saw Az expressing jealousy over Mor when Helion asked after her whereabouts. As of December in SF, we have Az not able to admit to Rhys that he's no longer in love with Mor though he was having extremely sexual thoughts of Elain.

In my opinion, no, I don't think it's a great setup for Az to end up with his mate 9 or so months after that (because that's a realistic time-frame we're looking at here, Koschei and Beron aren't just sitting around waiting for Az's love life to happen before they carry out their schemes which will most likely be dealt with in an Elucien book. The state of Spring can't continue on the way it is for another 9 months while Az gets a girl. If he does, Az will not have spent even a single year not having been fixated / obsessed on a female for nearly the entirety of his life. I think it would actually be very healthy for Az to learn a little bit of who he is outside of his fixation on a female.

Also, Az claiming Elain can't handle the Trove, rejecting her and saying Lucien will never be good enough in one book then he goes on to get his HEA in the very next book while they continue struggling? That's rewarding his temper tantrum (again, in my opinion).

The LoA and Helion are most likely not getting a POV anytime soon so bringing them into the debate doesn't make a lot of sense to me at this point. If anything Mor probably even deserves her HEA before the others (especially Az) because she's the one who has struggled to come out to her family. She's the one who has felt scared of Az's behavior at times. She's the one who feels she has to hide things from Az otherwise he pouts and she has to feel bad about his feelings.

Why should Az, who honestly is not behaving well to most of the others (trying to undermine Feyre's word as High Lady, mouthing off to Rhys, being jealous of Lucien who is their ally, trying to hold Elain back from doing more, pouting about Mor, be the one to get his HEA after how he's acted towards all of them? Shouldn't he spend some time reflecting on how he's made them feel before he's ready to be the guy Gwyn deserves? He is surrounded by love of his friends and family yet he behaves as if he has nobody. I think his first lesson is to be grateful for what he has without wanting romance. Because that's the thing. He's tied up his self worth in whether or not he has someone and that will make his ending up with Gwyn be more about him finally thinking he can tell himself he's worthy rather than it being about a sincere love for Gwyn for the right reasons. But because love isn't going to actually cure him, their foundation will not be a strong one, his personal issues will not have been dealt with. Az wanting love from a relationship is a crutch. "if I got this I'd feel better".

And yes, Gwyn has been wanting to come out of the library but the thing with that is whenever she's ready to do so, she has a very strong support system already in place. She has Nesta, Emerie, even Cassian and Az. Gwyn has people who have supported her, pushed her to do more, believed in her. We already had the chance to here her story in her own words.

Compare that to Elain? Elain does not have that and she's the only possible FMC who we've never heard tell her story. Even Emerie got to tell her story. Elain is surrounded by people who don't think she's capable of much, who never once encouraged her to train her powers, who we have never heard how she truly feels about her fathers death or having stabbed the king or her mating bond. Elain does not have a found family so her spending another 9 months without the same support system the others have? Lucien spending another 9 months without a real home?

It's clear neither is in the court they belong so yes, I do think it would be more fair for them to not be pushed aside for another 9 months. Where Lucien is actually struggling with the affects of an unaccepted mating bond versus Az who is just pissy about not having one but is not going mad (which in canon can happen to mated males) from his instincts the way Lucien might be. Also, Lucien is not treated extremely well by the IC. He's tolerated, at times they get along but even in SF we see evidence of dismissive behavior. As of HOFAS Az has an even stronger friendship with Nesta, Cassian and Rhys are his brothers. Who does Lucien have? Who have we seen on page that he shares a real connection with? He said Vassa and Jurian are his friends but have we ever seen either of them actually ask Lucien about how he feels, what he wants? Cassian tried to strike up a conversation with Az about children, that's someone who is showing an interest in Az. All anyone asks Lucien about is Koschei or Spring or Beron and when he did try to tell Feyre about Vassa and Jurian, she made fun of him.

Also, to your point about Gwyn's trauma taking place two years ago, it did but it was only introduced to the reader on page in SF. We weren't able to read about what happened to her in real time. It's sort of like Lucien watching Jesminda be murdered. It was an absolutely horrific thing that happened to him but we didn't suffer with his character as it happened. That's not to say it makes his trauma (or hers) less valid but when we actually read about Elain and Nesta's kidnapping / being bound and gagged / forced into the Cauldron in book 2, where we read about their terror as it played out and Nesta had a chance to process the trauma on page in her own book and Elain confirmed she still has that trauma yet nobody is talking to her about it? Would it not be a logical conclusion that she also deserves a chance to have a voice since she was waiting for one ever since book 2? Where we witnessed even more trauma for her on page in book 3? Where she suffered another rejection in book 4 and had her own sister pushing her away for an entire year?

Even if Gwyn and Az don't find love right away they both have a place where they truly belong with unconditional love from their friends and neither Elain or Lucien have that. It's not even about deserving romance, it's them deserving a chance to find a home and I'm not sure why they should have to wait for Az to get a mate before they get that.

And in terms of plot, the pressing issues that affected their entire lands were the peace treaty, Beron, Koschei and Spring. From a plot perspective those things do seem more urgent and are tied into Elucien.

Sarah also said her initial plans for the spin-offs have not really changed from that first pitch (while drafting ACOWAR and finishing up edits for ACOMAF), where she knew who the first two would be about but was unsure of the third. At that time Gwyn's character did not yet exist so I don't think it's completely out of the realm of possibility to believe the characters with a confirmed / strongly hinted at mating bonds at that time were getting those first two spin-offs.

I do appreciate your comments and I'm sorry this particular stance is upsetting to you. It's really just my opinion though, no more valid than anyone else's.

#elucien #pro elucien

[bloomeng]

I know MXTX is a good author I want to get that out of the way before I get into this. She’s a fantastic (male) character writer and she has a great grasp on interpersonal connections. Though she’s working in an established niche genre she’s still very creative, I think SV especially is evidence of that. But there’s one thing that I just can never seem to get a pulse on, and that’s how much she means to comment on classism.

Author’s intent is always gonna be tricky especially when I have to rely on translated texts and interviews. There’s probably a lot of nuance that I miss, not to mention literally interviews I’ve never seen etc. It also doesn’t help that I haven’t read most of TGCF yet, so I can’t comment on that series, and with SV this conversation is less applicable, so for the sake of what I know best I’m gonna be using MDZS as my main example.

Classism is undeniably at the heart of MDZS’s themes, however for years anytime I analysis the text I’m usually fairly cautious to note that I don’t know if this was intentional. This isn’t because I think MXTX is stupid or can’t handle deep conversations, it’s simply because I can’t tell if it was her intent. On paper it seems obvious; WWX, JGY and XY’s wealth disparities, how privilege drives the plot, literally everything about the Wens as a whole. So much of the novel’s runtime is spent showing us how corrupt the feudal system can be, going so far as to have a protagonist who dies for the cause and two antagonists who are driven to be awful because of their poor circumstances in life. It feels intentional that WWX was granted a certain amount of privilege based on something he was born with (his parents connections) and how easily people turned on him because to the world he is a villain (also he does bad things that he likely wouldn’t have to if he had no need to defend anyone). JGY acting as a foil for WWX feels intentional and I would absolutely consider them foils regardless of intent. With all this in mind I would be inclined to say that yeah, MDZS is commenting on classism, but then WWX marries into the corrupt system and we the audience are supposed to read this as a good thing.

This has always been my biggest qualm with the book. We spend so much time showing how awful this system is and the two people who do anything to try and save it are punished for it by death. Sure WWX is brought back but as soon as he’s in Mo’s body he’s aimless. JGY is of course the secondary villain of the series, but MXTX goes out of her way to make us understand that even when JGY had power, his birth kept him from actually holding any real control, and what control he did have he mostly used to get bad people out of power and make the community better (he was biased and paranoid and vengeful but MXTX’s characters are nothing if not nuanced). Why set all this up to end up in such a contradictory place?

I get that solving such big issues such as classism isn’t easy and we want a happy ending but does MDZS even have a happy ending? None of the mc’s besides LWJ and (supposedly) WWX and LSH and LJY are in good positions by the end of the story. I remember reading MDZS for the first time and thinking that LWJ would fall for WWX because of his radical ideas and eventually see that the Lans were contributing big time to this awful system that favors wealth over everything. Especially because we have a second plot line about whatever was going on with LXC and JGY. And then it just never happens. Instead the Lan sect are painted as ok just because they’re monks. The system wasn’t the issue actually it was the people in charge but don’t worry they’re gone. Life is great now that the most powerful sects are in the hands of a 15 yr old, a man with unchecked anger issues, a council of elders that think corporal punishment is the solution to everything and a man who committed to a life long bit to get out of all forms of responsibility. What could go wrong?

I’ve always thought it was strange and ooc that WWX just accepts going back to Cloud Recesses. His literal incense burner fantasy was a cottage in the woods away from society. He never really warms up to the rigidity or their bland ass food, and he doesn’t even really respect the Lans culture more than he has to. It’s clear he only lives there for his husband and son’s sake. So why am I to believe this is his fairy tale ending?

The only answer I’ve been able to grasp over the years is that the romance genre of the novel overpowers everything else.

This is what brings me back to my original point. I don’t know if MXTX’s intended to comment on class, because if she did I struggle to understand how the ending of the story fits this intention. Which means by default it wasn’t the intention, at least not the priority. I mean ok duh, obvious conclusion, this is a danmei, it’s the bl genre, of course the romance comes first, but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at. You can absolutely have a romance that comments on other things at the same time and I think MXTX’s writing is smart enough to do this, except it fumbled so hard at the end it left me questioning if she even meant to comment on classism in the first place.

A part of me thinks that all of this commentary was just a coincidence of the genre conventions. Cultivator/ historical fantasy tends to just have classism baked into setting, so maybe that’s all it was. Perhaps she was just borrowing what was already there to make interesting character motivations and it wasn’t done with any intention of commenting on any sort of greater societal issue. Which for the record would be ok. I’m not policing what MXTX should write and romance for the sake of romance is perfectly valid, but as a reader I’m allowed to say this particular instant made me dislike the actual romance she set up. These issues in the book made me actively dislike LWJ. I’m on an island about that though. Getting back to my point, I struggle to call this commentary intentional and thus things like WWX and JGY suddenly feel unintentional as well.

I also find MXTX’s own words to be contradictory at times. For instance, she’s mentioned that after SV she found writing more than one couple to be too taxing. When asked if other characters in MDZS were gay she said explicitly they were not, yet both MDZS and TGCF have unofficial side couples that are an inch away from being canon. She’s also mentioned that XY, Sl, and XXC were old characters of hers and were originally going to be the focus of the book, which leads me to believe that they would’ve been a canon love triangle. So I am skeptical when she said all the characters besides WWX and LWJ are straight. I’m not accusing her of lying or anything like that. Tolkien contradicted himself so many times in his letters and essays, it’s sort of par for the course in my opinion. What it does mean though is that I can’t get a read on her intentions. What I can gather from what she tends to focus on in her extras, interviews, and just the fact that this is the BL genre, I’m inclined to believe that a lot of these parallels are unintentional but then I circle back to just how heavy handed it all is and I’m unsure again.

Anyway this was just the world’s longest way to say that actually we don’t have any idea what her intentions are and this is why when I’m analyzing her work I make a point to not put words in her mouth.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #txt #mxtx #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #jin guangyao

[lemotmo]

You know I’ve tried so hard to stay neutral on the whole Lou/Tommy of it all. But he did another cameo, which he apparently upped the prices the 145 a video?? But he did another one and he dismissed all of Tommy’s past behavior as being corny and teasing which…does not sit right with me. Like racism, misogyny, toxicity, silent compliance of it all….is not just being corny and teasing. And then he ends the video by talking about Tommy came in at the last minute to save the day and save Bobby and Athena so everyone should be good with him now….. like now we’re taking credit for Hens stuff too?

Idk none of that sat well with me at all and if he is sticking around for any of season 8 I think I need the show to just be like no more cameos from you or something.

Hi Nonny, hope the rest of your day was great. Don't allow things like this to get to you too much. If you feel you need a break from social media, make sure to take it. There is already enough stress in real life, don't let it seep into your fandom life as well. Take care of yourself first. You deserve only the best.

Now on to your ask:

I haven’t seen the cameo you are talking about. I have no desire to see that cameo either. I’ve watched one of Lou’s cameos, way back in the beginning when he started doing them. I found it funny, if a little weird that someone would pay for that, but to each their own.

I’ve been hearing about these cameos more and more lately. And yes, they have started to bother me. Mostly because it seems that Lou is charging these people up to 125 dollar (I’ve even read 145 dollars) to talk about the things ‘he’ thinks or believes to be true about Tommy or Buck/Tommy. Basically he’s talking about his own headcanons as an actor. Which again, is fine, because if it helps him to act better, why not?

The problem lies in the fact that some people have started taking Lou’s headcanons for reality. They hear what he says and see it as ‘canon’ because (right now) Buck/Tommy is a canon couple. While it is true that Buck/Tommy is canon, Lou’s headcanons are just that, little fanfictions he made up in his head. It’s a dangerous road to go down, because where does it end? When Buck/Tommy eventually break up, a lot of people will feel misled by him. It won’t be pretty.

So therefore, I’ve decided to never watch any of his cameos. I’m not really interested in his fantasies for the guest character he plays on my favourite show. I’d much rather be focusing on what 911 is actually showing us on our screens. I focus on the nuances and little details that they want us to pick up on.

Sometimes there are small things that seem inconsequential, but turn out to be very important episodes later. Everything matters on television. There are no coincidences. The writers craft the story, every single thing is planned out for the scene, the actors act it out and we watch on in complete fascination. There is no room for a guest actor’s headcanons or fantasies in a prime time show like this.

That being said though, if he truly dismissed Chimney and Hen’s plight under Captain Gerrard as mere ‘teasing’, that is factually wrong. If you go back to watch the scenes in question, there is bigotry, blatant racism and sexism. It makes me wonder if he even remembers the scenes in question. Did he rewatch them before he came back for season 7? We’ll never know.

But it does highlight, once again, that it isn’t smart to give this guy a platform to talk about his personal headcanons. He was always bound to say something dumb that would piss people off at some point. And here we are today, pissed off and annoyed.

I also want to remind everyone that it wasn’t Tommy who is the real ‘hero’ in the story of saving Bathena on the cruise ship. It was Hen Wilson, who had a bad feeling in her gut and decided to follow that feeling. She got the ball rolling, then Chimney jumped to her aide, because he always will. Buck and Eddie decided to join in, without hesitation, because again—they always will. Tommy was merely the helicopter pilot who flew them all in.

By that definition they are all the heroes in this narrative, which is why they all get medals next episode. But it is only Hen who was smart enough to follow her gut. If all the others are ‘heroes’? Hen Wilson is the only ‘big damn hero’.

I do believe Tommy might be sticking around for the beginning of season 8, because I’m not sure there will be enough time to deal with a proper break up in two episodes. Unless Tim surprises me and actually does manage to pull it off.

But yes, someone should just tell him to stop doing those cameos if his character is to carry over to season 8. It’s starting to get a little worrisome at this point. Charging people to talk about your own fantasies for your character, feels a little exploitative.

Whatever happens with him in season 8, ultimately I’m not really worried about Tommy to be honest. Lou’s stint on 911 is coming to an end pretty soon, one way or the other.

Consider this topic closed for me now. I’ve said all I wanted and needed to say. I don’t feel like wasting any more of my time thinking about or writing about this man and his cameos. I’d rather spend my precious fandom time on the things that matter: the amazing people I’ve met, watching the show and crying copious amounts of tears over these characters I’ve come to love so much, theorising and speculating about what might happen in the next episodes and next season, and above all talking about Buddie—my favourite pastime. 😊

#nonnies galore #the sordid tale of a man and his cameos #I'm not tagging certain actors; character names or ships #I have no desire to spend my precious fandom time deleting inconsequential messages in my inbox #911 fandom discourse

[demento-mori]

Currently partway through Act 2 (i think im on loop 5 or 6?) so here are some more of my thoughts so far. (I might do one of these for each Act, depending on how lengthy/significant each one is.)

The way the different plotlines/sidequests with the various towsnpeople progresses throughout each loop as you learn more about them it a very cool and innovative use of the timeloop mechanic! I feel like its a very good way to avoid the loops from becoming too repetitive and to give the player a sense of progress.

Ahhh the game is turning one of my most despised turn-based rpg features against me in such a clever way that I cant even be mad about it. See, it really annoys me in rpgs when one character gets knocked out in battle and so doesn't gain experience from that battle, leading to them becoming underlevelled, leading to them getting knocked out more in battle and so it becomes a vicious cycle (this is part of why i havent finished omori yet). The game is kinda doing the inverse of this, with Siffrin being the ONLY one consistently gaining experience due to the loops. Its a simple but effective way to show the effect the loops are having on them and the growing divide it seems to be creating between him and the rest of the party.

Adding on to the last point, I appreciate how the game allows you to keep new weapons for the party between loops as a means of balancing out the experience issue. Same thing with memories. Again, its a simple but effective solution.

I also really appreciate the balance there is between the town exploration and combat sections. It does a really great job at preventing either from becoming tedious or repetitive, which is a common pitfall for timeloop based games. (I also say this as someone who really dislikes turn-based rpg combat, and gets fatigued from it easily even in games I like)

In terms of story and character progression, I cant help but notice how Siffrin is starting to become a little... disconnected from the party as a natural result of the timeloops. Like, obviously you dont want to listen to the same dialogue or explain yourself to the party in every loop, but imagine it from the party's end when Siffrin suddenly stops communicating with them, doing things they shouldn't know how to do with no explaination. I can't imagine its any good for Siffrin either, becoming more isolated from their party and taking on all the responsibility by themself. I can't help but feel like this is going to have consequences down the line......

I also died in combat for the first time in my previous loop and...... siffrin...... buddy 😰😰😰.............. youre scaring me here bestie this is not a healthy mindset to have...........

(Potential spoilers with this one) Something else i noticed characterisation-wise is in regards to Loop. When speaking to Siffrin about the other party members, they always refer to them in a very detatched manner. "Your Housemaiden", "Your Researcher". Its notable knowing what I know about Loop and it makes me wonder even more what the fuck happened to them. It strangely reminds me of Flowey from Undertale in a way. Someone who is in the same meta situation as the player character, who ostensibly should also have an attatchment to the other characters in the story the same way you do (and likely did at some point in the past), but seems to have become detatched and jaded from their experiences with the "game". Floweys my favourite undertale character as well, so im fascinated to find out more about Loop and what led them here.

#isat liveblog #isat #isat spoilers #<- just in case #in stars and time

[monstersflashlight]

Just found your stuff, and it’s so good! You’re seriously great at writing.

This is a request/idea, but a love story of a male monster and human woman reader, told from the perspective of the monster.

I also think it’d be cute for couple if they grew up as childhood friends into adulthood. That way, monster could really see/reflect on his feelings towards reader as the years go by. I honestly think this could be all adorable fluff BUT I could also see this story having darker contents in it too. Obsession, possessiveness, murder, etc. I leave it all up to you of course whatever you want to do! I’m just spitballing random ideas.

And of course SFW or NSFW is fine with whichever you choose.

P.S. Is pregnancy or mentions of pregnancy something you are fine with writing? Or no? I didn’t see anything, but stuff like breeding.

Hi! Thanks for your kind words! And sorry for the delay. I love your idea, I went for the SFW because there were just too many feelings happening, but I wouldn’t be opposed to do a part two where they get frisky. I loved the characters and writing as if the reader was a monster was a fun experience (lowkey related to a monster more than a human, the audhd brain hitting hard there). It’s sweet to the point of tooth-rooting fluff, hope you enjoy it!

PS: As for the pregnancy, I don’t like pregnancy or kids, but I’m all in for breeding kink and maybe mentions of fucking pups into the reader (with werewolves maybe), not sure about any other kind of pregnancy mentions, tho. Feel free to send another request for that.

Next door orc

Gn!orc reader x fem!human || Reader is the monster in this scenario, SFW, tooth-rooting fluff

You were only five when the revelation came to be. Their first few years more and more monsters came out of hiding, and your parents with them. You moved to a human neighborhood, and you learned how mean and cruel humans could be. You were only a kid, but at school nobody wanted to talk to you, your skin too green, your size too big for them. You were treated like a subhuman, and at the same time as they made fun of you for being more-than-human. You never understood why they were like that until you were much older, but their words and actions hurt either way.

And then she arrived.

At the age of seven, you understood what all the stories about humans were about. A new family moved to the house next to yours. The old man who used to live there passed away. She was so pretty and so tiny compared to you, you didn’t want to approach her for fear of rejection. But soon she was approaching you. Many years later, you still remembered perfectly how she jumped the fence and landed on her ass, laughing as you looked at her scandalized and worried for her well-being.

She forced herself into your life. She was insistent on being friends with you, and your lonely self, who had to endure a couple years or rejection and mean humans, didn’t know how to deal with that. You spent half the time silent as she babbled and told you about her family, why did they move… Basically anything she came up with. And you felt something growing inside of you. A bond between you and her.

When you started to talk back, she was confused, but rapidly met your questions with more questions, and before you hit ten, you were best friends. She was your rock, your only support when the world turned gray and the humans were mean. You were worried she’d left when she realized being with you meant being lonely, but she didn’t mind being a pariah along with you. She liked you that much, she was just the best.

You were just fifteen the first time a boy broke her heart. You “accidentally” broke his leg during football practice, and maybe pushed him to the ground a few times more. The humans were still mean to you, but when they realized you could be an asset to their sports team, they were all happy to include you. Only half the time, only in practice and during competitions, but you still had one friend: her. She was your everything, and you’d do whatever it took to keep her safe and protect her heart. Even if that meant scaring every single boy away after that first time. You didn’t want to see her cry anymore. Never again.

That led to uncomfortable conversations and weird feelings inside of you. Every time she mentioned boys or girls around you, you got jumpy and changed topics. She never fully understood why you did that, but you didn’t know what the things inside of you meant, what you felt about her meant. So you ran from it. You still hung out with her, but you pushed her away a bit. She pushed back, and made you confess you didn’t want her to date anybody. She was fine with that, she just smiled and kissed your cheek. You blushed dark green as she laughed.

You ended up going together to prom, just for her to drag you away after barely an hour. She drove you to the middle of the woods, where she put some music on and you two danced in a bubble of intimacy so tight it made your heart roar with desire for her. But you didn’t know what that meant. Not yet.

You were just twenty-one when you realized you loved her. When the world turned the back on you after an injury, she was the one staying next to you in the hospital bed. Opening your eyes with a broken leg and an injury that was going to get you out of football forever, the only one there for you was her. Once again.

It wasn’t until you hit twenty-five that you asked her out. You two were drinking, your shared apartment in the city a bit too hot, a bit too tiny. After a few too many drinks, you confessed you thought you were in love with her. But once again, she surprised you.

“I know.” She giggled, taking a sip of her drink.

You were confused as fuck. “What? How?”

“I just do. And I love you, too. I’ve been waiting for a lifetime.” She answered, her eyes fixated on you as she rocked your world, once again.

“What do you mean?” You asked, still confused. You didn’t know how she could turn you inside out over and over. You’ve known her for years, and she still surprised you.

“I knew you were it for me when I jumped that fence, you dummy.” She told you that with a straight face and flushed cheeks, not caring how those words affected your beating heart. You felt like a bomb could hit at that moment and you’d still be looking at her eyes like she held the light of the sun there.

“You what?” You asked, but she didn’t answer. She grabbed your face and kissed your open mouth, her lips fitting perfectly between your tusks. It wasn’t your first kiss, but it was the best you had.

Things moved rapidly after that. One second you confessed, next second you were moving her stuff from her bedroom to yours. You had a bigger bed. You two spent more time together, if that was even possible. Everyone around you laughed when you told the story, they all knew you two were in love far before you realized, apparently. You felt like a fool, but in a good way. Some of them were more surprised about the fact that you weren’t dating before, which made sense. You guessed you did act like you were dating for the longest time. When you asked her about it, she said she didn’t care about labels. She loved you and she knew you’d get there eventually.

You were twenty-six when you asked her to marry you. And she said yes.

#monster #monster x human #monster imagine #monster boyfriend #orc #orc x human #monster POV #monster reader #request #sfw #fem character #gn monster #gn orc

[bread-squid-uwu]

I think having headcanons or interpretations that differ from canon, or are even contradictory to canon, is kind of the entire point of a rewrite. Would you be rewriting it, if everything was great and perfect and not weird? No.

If you personally dislike that? It's not made for you, then. Everyone is different and will think of different things or view things differently, and thats good !! We're all people playing with a silly minecraft story!

Let people be happy with what they create, look for something you enjoy instead of shitting on what other people make. Truly and honestly, an idea of a minecraft block is never that deep.

People completely change Aaron all the time, I certainly have. People change most of the boys, because their literal only personality traits at times is SA and being a freak.

People change the fuck out of Nana, "Kawaii~Chan", and thats actually a really good thing. Same with the boys, unless you enjoy writing majority of the entire cast as disgusting.

I've turned Travis basically into an OC at this point, alongside Laurance, Aaron, Zack, Vylad, etcetera etcetera. And yknow what? That's fun, that's great, we're creating something we enjoy - and our friends enjoy too. Our rewrite is something made entirely out of self indulgence, and plenty of others do the exact same thing, and I believe that's beautiful !!

On this topic, if people want to dive deeper into the darker aspects of this series, who cares? Just ignore it, block it, and move on if you don't like it. Oh no, someone expanded on characters like Michael, Michi, Ein, Gene, etcetera.. oh no, literally just block them and move on with your day instead.

Make your own rewrite or fanfic or whatever if you're so passionate about "getting it right" or "keeping it nice" or whatever y'all are saying.

You don't need to stick your criticism where people haven't asked for it, that's usually considered rude.

#just woke up #and chose violence #aphblr #aphmau #mystreet #minecraft diaries