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thecapricunt1616 · 22 days

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Cinnamon - (c.b. one-shot)

♡ One Shot Inspo: Cinnamon invokes lust and is considered an aphrodisiac. It can be used in love spells as well as for sex magic. Burn cinnamon to stimulate your spiritual powers and increase your psychic ability and awareness.

♡ Summary: Carmy hasn't had pussy in 2 weeks....he nearly died (he's a drama queen, but you love it) So, being the loving amazing GF you are you Mountain Dewed it up down left right (oh!!) switched it up like Nintendo - and did it so well you put his ass to sleep. (I listened to Espresso the whole time writing this its literally all I could think about hahahah)

♡ W/C: 4,140

♡ Posted Date: 05/12/2024

♡ A/N: HEYYYY!!! Okay okay so MORE STAGEFRIGHT because the amazing wonderful talented goddess level writer @l4long-winded sent in ♡THIS♡ big brain beautiful ask, and let me tell you I had some THOUGHTS!!! I have such a worship kink so .... yeah this was v fun to write. I hope you love reading as much as I loved writing. My dear please send in a request whenever you want!! Requests are open per usual :D

♡ Warnings for BTC: Kinda Sub!Carmy, Smut, Fem!Reader, AFAB!Reader, No use of Y/N, No use of physical descriptors, Black!Fem!Reader friendly (i'm pretty sure pls tell me if smth needs editing!), Kinda Virgin!Carmy, Not edited (we die like men)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

It had been quite literally a fortnight since Carmy had been able to fuck you. It was all he’d thought about, well - when his brain wasn’t busy going a million miles an hour about the restaurant, which is exactly what had taken up so much of his time lately. He’d usually be grateful for this kind of work, the kind of work that he’s going in at 3:15 and not getting home until 11:30 pm or midnight when you were already fast asleep.

He was exhausted, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually - but sexually?! He wasn’t sure he had ever been so wound up before. His nightly sessions of jerking his cock in the shower, biting his hand to keep as quiet as he could while he thought of the view of you when he came in that night. One leg hoisted up, nightgown ridden up over your ass. The one you knew he loved, and some of his favorite panties.

You called them your lazy girl panties because you told him you only wore them when you weren’t expecting anyone else to see them, but that very fact meant drooled over them. The slight discoloration from being so old, the little threads hanging off the leg holes and waistband. The tiny hole right in the waistband that he loved to thumb with while cuddling in bed.

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty six hours. Twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes.

That had been how long he had gone without being inside of you. He didn’t know his dick could get depressed, but his dick was fucking depressed. Getting off felt like a chore. When he’d jack off, he took an extra 15 minutes yanking on the thing because he could barely cum anymore, even though his balls were aching like he needed to.

Every time he got home, he’d stand in the doorway, just watching you. You would be peacefully asleep, chest lightly rising and falling, your beautiful body covered by some loose sleep thing. A loose sleep thing that he fantasized about ripping off into shreds.

Tonight though - he could cry. You were up - you were fucking awake. Through his own selfish desires he didn’t even realize it was abnormal, the only thing he could think about was the blood rushing to his cock at the mere idea you could possibly potentially be in the mood. “Baby?!” He nearly tripped over his own two feet rushing to your shared bedroom.

You were sat up on the bed, book on your thighs - a loose nightgown that accentuated your curves and hugged your peaked nipples uncovered by any bra. He could bust in his pants and all you were doing was reading. Reading what? He could care less honestly because his cock was starting to hurt.

You sat up, putting your legs over the side of the bed to get up and greet him “Bear! How was work love? I wanted to stay up so that we could - what’re you…” you trail off confused as he slinks to his knees before you, between your thighs and lifting up your leg, putting the top of your foot to his lips.

“In…22 minutes” he starts between kissing up your bare ankle and calf “it..will have been..15..days..” he stopped at your thighs, his cheek smushed against the flesh, he looked like he could both cry and that he was coming home. “Since I touched you. Please. Please baby - can I make you feel good? Mm?” He mumbled into your skin. “Please princess? I’m dyin’ here. I’m fuckin- I literally cut my hand t’day thinkin’ bout you. I fuckin need you” he kissed over each little tiny inch of your flesh. He was…worshiping you.

The idea sent waves of warmth flooding your core. “Yeah baby?” You took his hand, seeing a bandage over his knuckle and kissing it gently.

The feeling of your lips to his skin made him whimper “please- please please please” he begged, sitting back on his feet and looking up at you through his bangs, pushing his hair back quickly before his hand found your calf once again, rubbing little strokes into it “please?” He asked softly, his big blue eyes blown wide with lust.

You gently cup his cheek “and who’s fault is it?” You were teasing now. But you knew the bastard loved a challenge, and you also had been horny and your fingers were nothing compared to Carmys.

“Mine. It’s mine. My stupid fuckin job angel I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, how can I make it up? What can I do pretty? Mm? I’ll do whatever you want” he begged you and kissed over your knees and calves, pressing short little pecks to the skin. You grabbed his greasy curls at the root, raking through a few of the knots gently before pulling him to look at you and he moaned gently at the sudden firmness

“Do you know I’ve been fingering myself to fall asleep. All alone - for all those days you said. My poor hand” you held it up and he brought it to his lips on instinct, kissing the pads of your fingers before opening his mouth expectantly. “Good Bear” you purr and his eyes flutter shut as you stuck in your middle and ring fingers, slipping them over his tongue. He moaned at the contact, not holding back.

You smiled a bit, tugging his jaw open and he looks up at you, cheeks flushed and drool beginning to drip down his chin. “You’re pretty” you said softly and he swirls his tongue around your fingers before sucking on them gently, not breaking your gaze. Your stomach flips with excitement, your panties becoming uncomfortably wet but you weren’t going to let that show. He deserved to beg.

“Do you deserve to be sucking on my fingers though?” You pull them away suddenly and he gasps a bit a the unexpected emptiness of his mouth, a pathetic little pout appearing on his lips.

“No” he said softly and you grab his cheeks, smushing them gently “but I can make you feel soooo good - you deserve it” he told you and you pat his cheek gently with your hand, your wet fingers leaving a glistening streak on his cheek.

“I know I do. Are you gonna eat me out? Like a good boy?” You laid back on your elbows, spreading your thigh and resting one of your feet on the edge of the bed, showing your panties that had grown a large wet spot during your conversation. He watches every move you make, his eyes focusing on the wet spot you sighed softly, deciding to take pity on him. “You can sniff my panties, you little freak” you giggle and he looked up at you like a kid on Christmas

He wasted no time shoving his nose right in the wetness, inhaling your sweet yummy scent and groaning “thank you” he mumbled into the curve of your ass, his hot breath against the skin causing your clit to twitch and goosebumps to appear on your skin. You feel him taking another deep breath and nuzzling his nose back and forth to get deeper like a dog and you couldn’t help but giggle, raking through the knots in his curls as he stuck out his tongue and caught the fabric of your panties with his teeth, sucking the juices out of the fabric and moaning hotly.

His hands were everywhere, rubbing over your calves, your thighs, your stomach, pushing your nightgown over your tits and rolling a peaked nipple between his fingers. You bit your lip, head falling back slightly and grinding your hips into his face, using his nose to get yourself off. “Go ahead Bear take off your jeans, you’ve been good t’night and I know you’re probably hurting” you told him

He sighed into you gratefully “y’too nice t’me” he kissed over your clothed pussy a few times as he unbuckled his belt with shaking hands, the anticipation was killing him.

“No me being nice would be telling you that you could touch yourself. And no dripping on my carpet” you told him as he pushed his boxers and jeans enough to let his cock free that was indeed dripping already. His boxers were creamy and wet with pre, he had been pathetically grinding against the boxspring as he sucked your panties like it was his life source.

“Shit-“ he said, wrapping a fist around his weeping tip as he continued tonguing and nosing at the fabric between your legs. “Can I- c-can I please?” He begged pathetically, that softness to his voice you loved so much. A sweet whiney grunt leaves his lips as you pull his hair, forcing him to look at you.

“What have we talked about? Use your words.” You said firmly.

“Can I- take your panties off…p-please?” He asked shyly “wanna make y’feel good - wanna taste your pussy I miss it s’much - tastes so good baby please lemme taste you” he said and his whiney husky voice mixed with his breathlessness from being shoved into the fabric of your dripping cunt made you clench around nothing.

“I wanna cum twice before you even think about touching yourself. Also take your shirt off you’re way overdressed for my taste.” You dropped his hair and he nods obediently, standing and shoving off his jeans and tugging his shirt off by the neck in that stupid jockish way that had you wanting to shove him down back first on the mattress and ride him until his balls were empty.

Instead you kept your cool, crossing your arms over and slipping your nightgown over your head before taking off your panties, flicking them at him playfully to which he balled them up and pressed them to his nose, inhaling deeply. This caused you to laugh as you adjusted your pillow to lay back, spreading your thighs and gathering some of your wetness from your hole, dragging it up to your clit and rubbing little circles into it.

“Mmm are you gonna keep sniffing those like a pervy-puppy or are you gonna come make good on your promise. I’m surprised this poor hand hasn’t fallen off” you teased and he dropped the panties where he was standing, coming and crawling on the bed, laying in front of you and hoisting your thighs over each of his shoulders

“Mmm” he hummed, his eyes fluttering shut and leaning in, resting his cheek on your thigh and inhaling. “Smell so fuckin’ good” he mumbled “mouth is literally watering” he kissed your inner thighs sweetly, ravishing the skin in gentle affection. “God I missed this fuckin missed this s’much. Every morning this pretty fuckin pussy is just beggin me” he kissed your mound gently, dipping his tongue out and moaning at the taste of sweat and lotion on your skin, lapping it up like a life source.

“Yeah? I think you’re the beggar” you mused, jaw falling slack as he licks a stripe up your heat, moaning pathetically at your taste. His eyes rolled back slightly before fluttering shut in pure bliss “mmm so pretty baby” you coo and he smiled slightly, his cheeks a blushy pink that matched the tops of his ears. He nuzzled into you, nose rubbing over your clit in the way that made you gasp, your toes curling lightly “good boy” you praised, voice breathy and light

“Taste so good” he mumbled into your cunt, squeezing your thighs gently with his tattooed fingers. He moaned into you, watching you with wide lustful eyes.

“Those pretty eyes” you said softly, gently brushing his warm cheekbone with your knuckle and he hums into you gently. He sucked your folds between his lips, pulling away slightly and rubbing your thighs up and down with his calloused palms, squeezing gently. You moaned hotly and couldn’t contain the cry that followed when he finally stuck his middle finger in your dripping hole, hips bucking to try and get more of him.

“So soft, so so soft” he mumbled into your clit before kissing it gently and taking the now swollen throbbing bud in his mouth, flicking his tongue over it quickly. His fingers twist and curl as he pumps them in and out at a languid pace. You felt that familiar jolt of pleasure as the pad of his finger brushed your g spot.

“Augh- ah- yes bear” you mewled, “right there- there” you grab his wrist and squeeze it and in response he curled his fingers the same way and you dug your feet into his shoulder blades in pure extacy, causing him to grunt into you and curl and uncurl his fingers in a rhythm that had your eyes screwing shut and loud strings of curses and moans tearing from your chest as you came undone over his fingers, dripping down his wrist already. But with how long it had been since you had him this way, that was to be expected.

“Good - good bear good bear” you mumble praise as your orgasm washes over you he works you through it, resuming pumping his fingers - your dripping arousal being able to be put to use as lube. The schlick,schlick,schlick sound of his fingers is what you come back to, your mind fuzzy and swimming through a warm sea of pleasure, sweet jumbled moans and whimpers coming from your lips.

“God you sound so fuckin’ pretty baby I love you so fuckin much m’so sorry m’so sorry I haven’t been around as much” he mumbled into you and you shake your head

“S’okay shhh- shh just keep doin’ what you’re doin’” you push his head back down, watching as his eyes flutter up to look at you and he sweetly offers his other hand for you to hold, your heart melting at the gesture. “Such a sweet boy” you coo, taking his hand and lacing your fingers together. He smiled a bit in response nuzzling his nose against your clit, his lips making cute little smacking noises against your cunt.

“You’re so messy” you giggle a bit, seeing as the tip and bridge of his nose were wet with your slick, as was his chin and entire mouth area. “Your face is so wet baby” you told him and he looked up at you

“Mmm m’neck is wet too” he paused to say before resuming and you gently caress his cheek, the only sounds filling the room being the wet drill of his fingers and the smacking of his lips, like he was trying to devour a popsicle before it melted.

You felt your second orgasm quickly approaching, your walls fluttering around his fingers, he curled up into that spot and that was your undoing once more, your hips pushing back into the mattress and spine arching off the bed towards the ceiling slightly as your orgasm crashed over you with no mercy to be had.

“Jesus- fuck!” You cried out and he held your thighs open for you so you wouldn’t crush him by mistake, your hands shaking as you went to wipe the tears that had gathered in your eyes that were screwed shut from the intensity and Carmy stops you, carefully wiping your cheeks with his dry hand and removing his other carefully, wiping it dry on the sheets he always changed for you afterwards and cupping your face while you came down.

“You did so good baby, so so good” he kissed your forehead gently, rubbing your hair and caressing your back with loving strokes. When you were finally coherent enough once again, although you were exhausted - you realized Carmy was still rock hard, pitching a full tent in his boxers that were wet with pre as he coaxed you through your orgasm.

“That’s gotta hurt” you told pull the fabric, causing his cock to come down with it and when you release it it springs back up to full standing causing you to giggle a bit

“Mm does but m’back. I can’t go t’night babe. I was gonna go take care of it in the shower don’worry” he yawned, rubbing over his face you furrowed your brow, slightly offended.

“What? Is my pussy not good enough?” You teased

He looked at you quickly “wha- no - I mean- I mean yes? No- no your pussy is good your pussy is- is perfect I fuckin’ love y’pussy but I can’t go tonight baby my back fuckin’ hurts” he explained

“I can ride you you know” you said and his big blue eyes widened a bit. You’d been together for 6- no 7 months, and it was true you’d never ridden him, not yet anyway.

Carmen was a missionary man, not in the boring way, in the way that he’d get home from work and fuck your brains out while going on and on about his frustrations from the day.

People wouldn’t usually call it dirty talk, but something it turned you on more then anything that between calling you perfect and beautiful and made for him that he was just casually going on about his shitty day like his balls weren’t essentially spanking your ass with how hard he needed it.

“Uh- oh-o-okay. Yeah. Sure- I. Mmhmm” he said and fixed his pillow, adjusting his hips for you “hop on I guess” he said shyly and you laughed at his sudden switch in attitude.

“Have you never been ridden you poor thing?” You asked and his cheeks went cherry red as well as the tips of his ears and bridge of his nose as you straddled him easily, resting your hands on his abs for leverage.

“No.” He muttered. “I- I just…I dunno it never..came up” he swallowed thickly, averting your gaze nervously.

“Hey.” You said “eyes” you told him and his eyes met yours immediately, “I’m honored to be the first person, yeah? I’ve told you a billion times bear - I love you. I love being able to show you new ways to feel good, it makes me so excited” you held his hips gently and he wrapped his hands around your wrists, needing to be touching you somehow.

“It just…it doesn’t make me seem like…like a bitch does it?” He mumbled shyly, insecurity lacing his voice. You tucked your hands under his warm back, laying yourself over him fully, embracing him and resting your forehead on his.

“You know how I feel about that word, and no it doesn’t make you seem less manly baby. If anything, it’s super sexy and it’s so sweet that you felt brave enough to tell me. Thank you for telling me. I’ve heard for the guy it feels really good cause all you gotta do is lay there, you wanna try sweetheart?” You ask softly, kissing the bridge of his nose gently and a small smile forming on your lips when you tasted yourself on your lips upon pulling away.

“Yes please” he said softly, eyes fluttered shut as you cover his face in little butterfly kisses.

“That’s my brave bear” you place a kiss to the base of his throat and he smiles a bit, cheeks going redder by the second. It was adorable how shy he got when you showed him affection like this, you knew he adored it more then anything - but he’d never be brave enough to ask for it - at least not yet.

You sit up, “can I touch you baby?” You confirm, rubbing your hands down his stomach and his abs tighten at the contact. In response he nods, swallowing thickly and goosebumps rising over his skin. His cock twitches as you grab the waistband of his boxers “so sweet and responsive” you said softly, tugging them down easily as he lifted his hips for you slightly.

“Jesus” you mutter at the sight of it, the tip weeping and pink crying to be touched. “Poor thing, you’ve been neglected- has Carmy been abusing you in the shower huh?” You said in the direction of his cock with a playful voice of concern.

“Jesus fuckin Christ-“ he chuckled, covering his face with his arm a big goofy smile on his face. “You are gonna kill me”

You smiled big, leaning down and licking a stripe up his length and he whimpers softly, abs and stomach clenching at the contact, a large bead of pre gushing from his slit that you catch with your tongue. He shivers adorably, groaning at the feeling of you licking over his sensitive tip. “If y’keep fuckin doin’ that ‘m gonna cum” he breathes, the vein in his neck present seeing as he was holding himself back, his balls drawing up and releasing in a rhythm.

“Jesus baby i dunno if you’ll last that long we’ll have to do this again so you can get the full experience mm?” You grab his shaft, lining you two up and slipping it through your soaked folds, he let out a breathy moan, back arching slightly and you let out a sweet ‘mmm’ when his tip bumps your clit.

“Please please please can I be inside you please” he begged pathetically, voice whiny and shaking - he was going to be coming undone very soon you could tell, which is why he was desperate to be inside of you before he was too soft to do so.

“I dunno can I see those pretty eyes?” You asked, he was still hiding behind his arm, likely still feeling embarrassed this was his first time but you weren’t going to allow that. He shyly removed his arm, looking up at you and swallowing nervously.

“H-hey” he said softly and you smile softly

“There’s my bear” you leaned in, kissing him lovingly as you sink down on him fully, his jaw goes slack so you settle for kissing his chin and cheeks and nose “Feel good?” You giggle into his skin and he lets out a pathetic little ‘uh-huh’

“H-holy oh god” he groaned when you simply roll your hips, getting yourself off with the friction of the curly patch of brunette curls at the base of his cock. You sat up, using his chest as leverage to find a good rhythm bouncing on him and he nearly growls, a sound you’d never heard him make.

“Ooo am I releasing the bear?” You teased and he chuckled a bit

“Shut up- fuck Jesus oh god” his head falls back on the pillow “i-i-shit” he rambled and you giggle a bit, causing him to whine at the feeling of your walls clenching around him as you continued to ride his cock with all the tricks you could remember.

“I don’t think I’ve ever fucked you so quiet before” you tease, sure your hips and thighs were burning from how quick you’d built up to moving, but his eyes were practically rolling back and the whimpers you were drawing out of him were nothing short of heavenly. He was shaking for Christ sakes. “Are you gonna cum? Mm? Y’gonna fill me up baby?” You asked him, rubbing his chest gently

He finally opened his eyes, looking up at you with those big blue eyes, blown out fully with lust, pants falling from his lips and his dirty blonde curls stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Mm-mmhmm” he moaned out, grabbing your hips to have something to hold and the action making him realize he could help you move. His jaw dropped slightly at the realization and he looked up at you for approval.

You smiled and nod a bit “you can help honey- that’s really nice of you” you said and he helped push and pull you off his cock, he looked down, mesmerized by the view of his cock burying inside of you, he pushed you down with more force and you moaned, “just like that baby, you want it harder huh?” You ask and he nods quickly so you rolled your hips a bit harder.

He bit his lip, nose scrunching up cutely. He was holding back. “Bear- I know it feels good but you can cum, you need to sleep” you cup his cheek gently and he looked up at you like a sad puppy

“It feels s’good baby” he whined and you nod, stroking his cheek gently.

“I know honey. We can do it again t’morrow night yeah?” You kiss his forehead and with that he releases into you with something resembling a cry covered with a grunt, of course he had to cover it. He pulled you into a deep messy kiss, wrapping his arms around your back, rubbing gently and reaching down to squeeze your ass, feeling cum dripping out of you down over his balls. He smiled a bit, pulling away to ask “Mmm can we sleep like this?”

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kazutora-kurokawa · 2 months

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Masturfesting w/ Mikey

♡ NSFW, fem reader, masturbation + manifesting, delusion, established friendship, panty stealing, perv!Mikey, college au ♡

note: my beautiful moot @i-literally-cant-with-this gave me this little idea 🩷 I started at 2am and finished around 3, its 6:30 right now so yeah lol I need some rest

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You and Mikey had always been close growing up, and that didn't change one bit when you two got to college. Of course he was still out partying and fighting with his friends, those things, along with your presence, were the only things he kept consistent. But a lot of things changed, he started becoming more aware of himself, of his feelings towards you, and of his place in your life. He knew he wanted a relationship with you, but wasn't sure how to approach you. So he did what he thought was best and started doing some research.

He discovered a lot of romance coaches, wikiHow articles and unhelpful stuff like that, but then he struck what he thought was a gold mine. He discovered the spiritual side of love, specifically types of love potions and spells. He was never one to believe in magic but it couldn't hurt to try. The one that caught his eye? Masturfesting. It was so disgustingly delusional, it just had to work. And so, he started a routine. Everytime he was hard, he'd go on your social media pages, scroll through, and find a picture he could get off to. He'd start off slow, savoring the moment and imagining your pretty hands wrapped around his dick. He'd finish pretty quickly, staining his phone and the picture of you on the screen with gooey strings of cum.

This became a daily occurrence for him, but as of late he felt like it wasn't working. He needed to go further, to do something more…risky. So he walked to your dorm after class, under the false pretenses of having a study session. You two were in your room laying on a pile of pillows on the floor, flipping through textbooks, when suddenly you had to use the bathroom. You left the room, giving Mikey the chance to take his masturfesting to the next level. He rooted around in your dirty laundry, stealing a pair of your panties and pocketing them for himself. You came out of the bathroom and were none the wiser.

After the study session was over he went back to his dorm, rushing to the bathroom to make use of your panties. The soft material felt like heaven wrapped around him, and he couldn't help but imagine thrusting into your pretty pussy instead of his hand. The way they felt, the way they looked, the way they smelled, everything turned him on and made him even more determined to have you for himself. He fully believed that his disgusting actions would result in you unknowingly falling head over heels for him, and maybe it would…or maybe he's just delusional as all hell. Either way he's not gonna stop, not anytime soon, not until he's sure you'll want him as much as he wants you.

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Taglist

@arlerts-angel @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #mikey smut #tokyo revengers fanfiction #delulu is the solulu #real talk this man is so fucking hot and delusional 😮‍💨#literally had no clue what masturfesting was before Sarah told me lol #imma just leave this here #gotta let it marinate in ya mind fr 🙌#I wish someone was this delusional for me honestly 💀

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doll-elvis · 10 months

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I like Priscilla and I appreciate that she has managed to keep Graceland afloat along with Elvis’s legacy but it irks me how people act like she was perfect. Everyone acts like Elvis is the sole reason their marriage failed but no one talks about how what she did, like having affairs herself

thank you so much for the ask <3!! sorry y’all this is longg

before I give my opinion, I just want to say a quick disclaimer because it’s important to acknowledge that I was obviously not apart of their marriage or their relationship and therefore my opinion is essentially irrelevant. I always find it weird when people talk about celebrity relationships with authority as though they were actually apart of it 😩, so I just want to say that at the end of the day it wasn’t my relationship, I don’t know the full truth, anything I say is just from what I’ve gathered from books/interviews

and just from what I have read, I honestly think their marriage was doomed from the very start because when Elvis married Priscilla in 1967 he essentially married a caricature version of her🤧 Priscilla created a look and personality that she believed embodied all of the traits that Elvis found ideal in a woman, and by doing so she created a fantasy that she wouldn’t be able to uphold as she grew older and became her own person. And when it comes to her and Elvis, I always felt like they fell in love with the idea of each-other, which is probably not the best foundation to build a marriage on😩 As the years went by and as they changed as people, they definitely grew apart and grew separately. I think Priscilla even said it was like they both lived separate lives

(Red West speaking on Elvis and Priscilla in “Elvis: What happened?” ⬇️)

as for affairs, Priscilla did indeed confirm that she had an affair with her dance instructor who she refers to as “Mark” in her book, soon after Lisa Marie was born. To give context this was also when Elvis began withdrawing from her s*xually, as she tells it, because he had pause about making love with a woman who had given birth to his child. She said the affair with Mark was very brief and it ultimately made her realize she wanted more out of her relationship with Elvis. The Memphis Mafia have also alleged that Priscilla had an affair with one of the male dancers in the 68 comeback special but she hasn’t spoken on that specific allegation herself. Then of course there was her affair with Mike Stone which is much more infamous and is what gave Priscilla the final nudge to ask for a divorce from Elvis. Tbh I’m really curious to see if the upcoming Priscilla movie will acknowledge the affairs on both her and Elvis’ end… like if they show Ann-Margret and they better include Mike Stone also 😩

And yeah while she did admit to being unfaithful while being married to Elvis, obviously in comparison to Elvis’ affairs, hers were much fewer in count. But on those grounds, like you said they both went against their vows and again, I don’t think we are in any place to judge either one of them because we didn’t live the relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your ask also made me think about how they were incompatible on many levels which I’m sure put strain on the marriage. The biggest one to me is the lack of interest on Priscilla’s part in Elvis’ spirituality, and books on the subject. And again I’m not placing any blame on Priscilla because you cannot force interest in a subject, you either like it or you don’t. And to be fair to Priscilla, Elvis didn’t exactly support all of her interests, like how she wanted to pursue modeling in the 60s. But there’s one passage from her book that I think really summarizes their incompatibility on a mental/emotional level ⬇️

“Although I was striving to be his soul mate and subtly becoming more aware of myself as a spiritual being, my heart longed for the very temptations he was fighting to conquer”

The very first sentence of this quote is very telling ⬆️: you don’t strive to be someone’s soulmate, I feel like you either are, or you aren’t 🤧

“As his soul mate I was expected to search for answers as fervently as he did, but I just couldn’t bear reading the ponderous tracts that surrounded us in bed every night. Usually within five minutes of opening one, I’d be sound asleep. Annoyed at my obvious disinterest, he woke me to share an insightful passage. If I voiced the slightest protest, he’d say, ‘Things will never work out between us, Cilla, because you don’t show any interest in me or my philosophies’”

Priscilla was extremely unhappy during this time and their relationship was really rocky as Elvis explored his spirituality. And in an effort to please her, he agreed to burning all of his spiritual books, which I always thought was so sad because he felt like he had to abandon such a major part of himself just to keep peace in the relationship

I think divorce was definitely inevitable for these two, and like you mentioned it’s just not fair to place all of the blame on Elvis when they both didn’t fit each other’s needs as partners

#thank you for the ask!!#marriage is not easy #sometimes I wonder if their relationship would have lasted longer had they not gotten married 👀#elvis presley #elvisaaronpresley #elvis #priscilla presley #elvis and priscilla #elvis history #elvis fans #elvis asks #elvis book excerpts

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toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp · 4 months

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Hello and welcome to Day 6 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Today, I wanna explore a Mo Dao Zu Shi fic idea that started because of another fic.

I started reading "Cultivation Chat Group - Scum Villain Edition" by shorimochi on AO3 (link here) a week ago. I have never heard of "Cultivation Chat Group" as a novel at all before this, so I checked the novel updates synopsis before I read the fic.

My brain, my wonderful but annoying brain, just went, "Ya know, this is the type of bullshit Wei Wuxian would get himself into in a Modern AU where Cultivation is some secret/legend" after reading the synopsis.

From there, it turned into a Modern AU + College AU + Cultivation is a secret that normal people don't know about AU + Wei Wuxian can see Ghosts AU + Reicarnation without memory (yet) (on Wei Wuxian's side) AU (Basically, everyone is an immortal in the chat group but Wei Wuxian, who is still a normal-ish human)

So, I present to you:

"Cultivation Chat Group - Wei Wuxian Edition" (title in working)

(Attempt at) Summary:

Wei Ying has always been a very... weird child. Despite being in the top students in his class, he is almost always absent-minded and not that interested in studying. Despite being a charming and sociable child, he always seems to keep himself back from forming closer bonds with his classmates. Despite being a seemingly well-adjusted child, many would see him talking and laughing at the air - which did sprout some spooky rumors about him.

Wei Ying, however, would say that he is quite content with his life - thank you very much. Sure, he sometimes sees things that many can't (and most times, he helps the little souls? spirits? pass on peacefully even if it did cause him troubles), but it's not that bad.

He is currently in his 1st year of university and aiming for a foreign language degree. He has friends (who have yet to be driven away by his "weird behavior," as others have told him). All in all, life is good.

And then, one day, he gets an invitation to a chat group. A chat group that he only intended to enter just to tell them that whoever sent the invitation got the wrong person. But he misses the timing... several times over.

Wei Ying gives up and decides that even if he is in this chat group, since they will realize soon they got the wrong person, he will just not interact at all.

(It's not like he wants to interact with them either. Especially since they seem to be into some role play thing with "cultivation", "cores"," and "corpses" (which wtf!?? Should he call the police?) and "spiritual weapons."

.... Yeah, no. He is definitely never interacting with these crazy people.)

"Let's just ignore this, and it will go away."

Final last words, Wei Ying.

Some small details:

WWX's name in the chat will be "Yiling Laozu," which is a silly nickname he uses on sites so that his friends don't recognize him. The name comes from "Yiling," which is the name of the street he lived on when he was young. "Laozu" is just something that WWX felt it was right to add - don't ask him why, he couldn't tell you.

WWX takes classes for 3 languages: Chinese, English, and Korean (he had to deal with spirits of tourists who didn't know English or Chinese and only Korean.. it was a headache and a half). WWX wants to learn as many languages as possible (at least to conversation level) so that he won't have to do miming or drawings to communicate with the spirits. (Just because you die in China, it doesn't mean you can fluently speak chinese in death - unfortunately)

He fully believes everyone in the chat group has some screws loose.

But he still ends up interacting with them (irl) because he found 4 children (more like 3 kids with manners and 1 with a short fuse) wandering around in the city while loudly talking about their "cultivation mission" or something. WWX doesn't want the kids to be attacked by some drunk bastard on the street because they are spewing bullshit so he decides to become their babysitter for a day. ("It's gonna be easy." - yeah about that)

What WWX is not aware of is that the "Junior Quartet" he met were not the first people from the chat group he met in real life. Some of those members attend his university and share classes with him.

The Reincarnation AU think I mentioned basically means "WWX has lived once before, which is why a lot of the cultivation stuff he reads in the chat he feel like he understands. In his previous life, WWX became something akin to an omen of death since he was always seen controlling resentful energy. He was never part of the Jiang Clan but grew up in Yiling and ended up staying at the Burial Grounds later on. He and LWJ crossed blades a lot in that life since they were on opposite sides when it came to the correct path of cultivation: LWJ said resentful energy is bad; WWX said resentful energy is natural and still energy and that if it wasn't a natural energy of the world, nature and heaven itself would revolt against it. In the end, WWX died from an ambush led by the other clans against him since he was seen as a heretic."

Just to be sure I mention it: in his past life WWX was never called "Yiling Laozu" so no one in the chat group knows who he is supposed to be (yet).

LWJ mourned WWX's death. Despite going down that path, WWX never killed without reason. LWJ met him a few times before he realized that he was using resentment in his cultivation, so LWJ saw a WWX who was incredibly kind, warm, and, surprisingly, childish. When he learned of his cultivation, LWJ was merely worried for his health.

This is why when LWJ sees Wei Ying again in the modern time, he is very much looking to help and protect Wei Ying this time around.

LWJ, seeing Wei Ying again at University: You are just as beautiful as the day I lost you.

WWX: What?

LWJ: What?

This is about all I have for this one right now. So, what do you guys think?

Honestly, this, for me, was fun to think about. The act of bringing cultivation into the modern world where technology reigns supreme is very funny since I can tell you right now Lan Qiren doesn't know how to operate a phone at all, and I feel like car rides make him nauseous.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and also please check out both the fic that started all this and the novel if you haven't yet. (They are both good and soo funny).

Till next time,

- TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

#fanfic ideas #mdzs #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan #lan wangji #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #cultivation chat group au #inspired by fic #modern au #but add cultivation too #and some other stuff

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hello-eeveev · 2 months

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How to Rest: Director's Commentary—Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is for cozy vibes, further establishing themes, and lightly pushing my grey-ace Caleb Widogast agenda. Chapter 2 Commentary is for discussing where Caleb’s head is at at this point in my timeline for this fic series and why it’s there, and further explaining my grey-ace Caleb Widogast agenda. In fact, I’m realizing that this chapter is kind of a companion piece to On the Nature of Attraction and I’m posting this on its anniversary! What perfect timing!

Let’s get started!

(spoiler warning for the entirely of How to Rest)

The setting for this is New Dawn, aka Exandrian New Year. It’s snowing in Rexxentrum and Essek visits Caleb to welcome in the new year. I imagine that just before this chapter begins, they had a nice dinner. I wrote this back before Mighty Nein Reunited came in and made my fics not canon-compliant, so I was working under the assumption that Beau and Yasha also lived in Rexxentrum, so maybe Caleb and Essek had dinner with them or maybe they stayed in. That can be up to the reader. Either way, it’s time for a fireplace, hot chocolate, and a cat, so it’s cozy vibes all around.

Let’s discuss the cat. I love cats. I don’t think that really leads into the discussion, but I gotta say it. It’s probably also pretty evident in how I wrote the cat. Anyway.

I haven’t written Caleb as adopting any cats of his own yet, and that’s because even this long after the campaign ended (1.5 years), he’s still not quite… settled. In 141, we’re given “six months to a year” before the shadowgast Aeor trip, which is implied to take place after the close of the Ikithon trial, and in my mind, it has always been much closer to that one year mark. So in the continuity of this fic series, Caleb spent the better part of a year dealing with the trial, which is not the most grounding thing to experience, and then he goes to Aeor with Essek for a month or two, during which he has to decide if he is going to risk the entire timeline to bring his parents back. That’s a lot. On both a material and spiritual level. And adopting a cat is big and permanent, and that’s just not where Caleb has been until quite recently. And it’s only now, after all this emotional turmoil has been resolved, that he is even able to start to settle into this life he’s making for himself, but he’s also still learning what that looks and feels like because he has next to no experience with a life of comfort and rest. The closest he got was his childhood, but that was 20 years ago, and even then, his life in Blumenthal is so drastically different from his current one.

That’s where the title “How to Rest” comes from. Caleb doesn’t know how to properly rest and he’s trying to learn how. That’s also why he hasn’t started teaching at Soltryce even though that is very much his plan for the future. He needs to learn to live for himself for a while before he takes on the next big thing. Mentally, I am throwing blankets and pillows at him and begging him to take a nap.

…so yeah. no cat quite yet.

But he does feed the strays, and he’s been doing that long enough that they know where he lives and that he’s a safe person to go to if, for example, they need a warm house to sleep in when it’s snowing in Rexxentrum.

Anyway, that’s a lot of preamble to discuss what is, essentially, 1500 words of Essek and Caleb kissing, but hey. that’s why we’re here :)

I’m not going to do a detailed breakdown of the initial cat section because it would pretty much just be, “hey, here’s a cat doing cute cat things and here’s Essek doing cute Essek things,” and I think that sums it up well enough.

They each drank from their cocoa, and as Caleb lowered his cup, he felt a tentative shoulder against his own. Essek was staring straight ahead, looking nonchalant as their arms brushed. Warmth flared in Caleb’s chest. He leaned further against Essek and caught a glimpse of the corner of Essek’s mouth pulling into a slight smile, despite his best efforts to hide it behind his mug.

It is still early enough in their relationship that Essek is still working out how to be direct, especially when it comes to bids for physical affection, but he’s self-aware enough that his coyness is more playful than it is an actual mask. He’s not really trying to hide his intentions, but he knows he is unable to just express them outright, so he does the “subtle” thing that his brain allows him, knowing that Caleb will understand and reciprocate.

He cupped Essek’s face in one hand and turned it towards him. Smiles such as the one Essek wore now—genuine smiles that touched his eyes and created a small dimple in his cheek—were once a rarity, but they seemed to be appearing with increasing frequency. At least whenever Caleb saw him.

Caleb gets a front row seat to the gradual lowering of Essek’s walls, and he is a big reason why Essek is able to! He makes Essek happy! These smiles are precious for those reasons and because Essek does not get the opportunity to be so genuine or so content most other places.

And something something who else does Essek let close enough—both emotionally and physically—to see all the ways his smile changes his face.

Then there’s cuddling and kissing, and they like each other so much, and it’s all very cute and sweet, but then we get into my grey-ace Caleb agenda. This is for two reasons: 1) set up the plot point for On the Nature of Attraction, and 2) the more grey-ace Caleb content there is, the happier I am.

He leaned forward eagerly, knowing how much closer he could hold him and how much better he could kiss him if they were laying down, without pesky things like knees and legs getting in the way.

This is Caleb’s intention. Nothing more than that. Caleb as the narrator is not obfuscating any secondary motive.

Essek tensed for a moment, as if he were considering something, then pushed them both upright with a small shake of his head.

Essek, however, cannot read Caleb’s mind, and isn’t sure if the motion to lay down is an implication of or invitation for sex. Certainly, the way romantic relationships are talked about would suggest that it is. And when confronted with the (perceived) possibility, Essek learns that his answer is “nope,” and he draws that boundary, which is readily accepted.

And it is because of this boundary that Essek establishes that Caleb realizes that his internal script for anything “romantic” that involves physicality has been very much affected by the Volstrucker training (see: that one tidbit Liam gave us in lockdown-era Talks Machina, that they were taught to be “as sexual as they needed to be” to get results for the Empire) and by his relationship with Astrid and Eadwulf being his main coping mechanism during that time.

I have written in my notes for this chapter that Caleb has this internal script of “lots of kissing leads to intense make-outs leads to, if not sex outright, something more sexual than not.” And while I believe he understood in theory that this does not have to be the case, and that it certainly wouldn’t be the case with Essek this early on in their relationship, it isn’t until this moment that it really starts to sink in. And then he learns that he likes that they can just kiss and cuddle and that it doesn’t have to be a preamble to more sexual things, which he is also starting to get an inkling that maybe there’s some trauma mixed up in there.

and idk i think grey-ace Caleb is neat and considering the ways his trauma impacts that is cool (she says, feeling a great deal of complicated emotion)

Essek leaned fully into it, smiling and hooking his legs over Caleb’s so he was practically in his lap.

One thing I wrote when I was planning out this chapter was “this is a conversation without words.” Obviously, there’s some words still happening, but they’re not terribly explanatory, so they must rely on non-verbal cues.

With his boundary established and respected, and now that he has had a moment to come down from his initial “nope” and recognize Caleb’s action for what it really was—a desire for more physical closeness—Essek is able to respond in a way that meets both their needs.

“I am very happy that you are here,” he whispered. Essek’s fingers curled tighter in Caleb’s hair, and he turned his head and pressed his nose to the side of Caleb’s. “As am I.”

They just like each other so much. And they make each other happy just by being there.

“Sometimes I wish we were back in Aeor,” Caleb said after a while. “Do you now?” Essek sounded amused, if a bit drowsy. “Mm,” Caleb said with a nod. “I miss studying magic with you every day, knowing that you were always close by.” “I could do without the bitter cold and mage-killing monsters,” Essek chuckled. He tightened his arms around Caleb’s shoulders. “But yes. I miss that, too.”

One thing I frequently try to do when writing Caleb’s dialogue is have him say something that’s like, a few steps removed from what he actually means. People talk like this in general, but Caleb’s meaning tends to be a few more layers deep than the average person’s, especially when he is stressed or experiencing heightened emotion. It’s one of the things I like about him; I think it’s funny.

This exchange is a very obvious example of this: Caleb says something, Essek lightly challenges him on that, and then Caleb is able to state more clearly what it is he actually wants. In this case, while it’s still in the frame of Aeor, Caleb is able to tell Essek that he wants to spend more time with him and that he feels better when Essek is nearby. And Essek is able to reciprocate while still keeping it within the “safe” zone of “haha wouldn’t it be nice to be back in Aeor? haha jk… but?” They are starting to build ways of communicating with each other, and this is one of them.

“Where will you go after this?” Caleb asked. “You know I can’t say.” He sighed. “I know. But you will be safe?” “I will, I promise. And I will see you again as soon as I am able.”

And the tragedy of their situation is that Caleb can’t know where Essek is most of the time, only that he will be far away, because that’s the best way to keep them both safe. And yes, Essek promises to be safe, but how much of that is within his control?

“I am afraid,” he said, taking Caleb’s hands from his waist and bringing them up to his lips, “that it is time for me to go.” Caleb groaned and felt his face contort into a pout that was almost embarrassing, except that it made Essek laugh, and it was a sound so beautiful that it washed away any feeling of shame, leaving only warm happiness in its stead. “Soon, Caleb Widogast,” Essek said as he kissed Caleb’s knuckles, voice brimming with fondness.

I love this image. It is so full of affection, particularly on Essek’s behalf. If I could figure out a good and interesting angle, I would draw it. I just think it’s cute and sweet and that’s what we’re really about over here.

Essek kissed him on the cheek. “Rest well.” “Travel safe.”

These are their hopes for each other at this point in time. Essek wants Caleb to have peace and rest, and Caleb wants Essek to be safe while he is alone on the road. They are very normal things to say when parting, but they are being completely earnest here.

So Essek leaves, and Caleb has a one-sided conversation with the cat. So to close out this chapter commentary, I will be showing you this scene again, with the cat dialogue included:

The cat he was hosting for the night, seeming to notice Caleb’s sudden lack of companionship, stood from his spot in front of the fire with a meow, stretched, and padded up to the couch. “Hello.” “Oh, hello. Do you need something from me?” Caleb asked. The cat butted his head against Caleb’s legs, then ran the whole length of his body along his shins, tail curling around them. He meowed again—“I would like pets”—and looked up at Caleb with round, eager eyes. “Oh, come here, Kätzchen.” Caleb scooped up the cat and laid down on the couch with him on his chest. “Thank you for keeping me company.” He scratched the cat’s ears and chin. “I think I must like him rather a lot, hm? To feel his absence so soon after he’s left.” “Perhaps you’re in love with him,” the cat chirruped as he settled into a loaf, paws softly kneading into Caleb’s shirt. “Well, I don’t know if I would say that,” Caleb answered. “Something akin to it, maybe.” The cat pressed forward and rubbed his head along Caleb’s beard, purring loudly. “I think so.” “Probably,” Caleb conceded. “But patience, my friend. These things take time. It is not as simple for everyone else as it is for you.” Caleb kissed the cat on his little forehead and closed his eyes. Purrs rumbled through his chest and ribs, and he let the rhythm lull him into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.

And that’s Chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed! May you all have a nice nap with a purring cat (or whatever your preferred equivalent is).

Until next time!

#this one's less quote heavy than the last one. and probably the future ones #i have a headcanon to discuss. that being:#the grey-ace caleb widogast agenda #and the fact that with the way this chapter is it makes more sense to approach it this way #as a whole rather than line-by-line #long post #eve talks #eve's writing #how to rest #how to rest director's commentary #chattering at birds #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss

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tervaneula · 11 months

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Okay guess who was late to read ch.12 of NQK?! This loser! So let me tell you what i thought so far;

On the summary part when i read " splinter request something from F!leo " i remembered the picture where you showed bald F!mikey & i thought " bro were you gonna request older leo to shave his older version of younger brother because you can't?! Lol "

Then we go to where F!mikey get his hair trimmed like the old weed in somebody's lawn xD i was confused " bro why?! You said yo hair is gonna grow back! " until i realized he's doing what any ex after a break-up; throw the old & welcome new furniture for a new, fresh start.

But honestly he does look like a twin of mikey - that and his head looks like a Boling ball - making me wonder how long it will take for him to grew back and who's gonna style it.

When we reach the part of summary i kid you NOT, i felt F!leo on a spiritual level, like when your parents call for you, I FELT THAT!! Splinter starts rambling about how it's his fault for pushing responsibilities of leader to little leo and i remembered how most fic(s) pointed that out - not that am saying they're wrong, i agree with them - and i couldn't help but think " yeah i don't know if this was on purpose from writers because it says leo and raph should co-leadering.

Wonder if the show were to have more seasons wonder if they'll be back on the main plan or just keep leo leading.

NQK F!leo - and yes i put NQK there, sue me other writers - accepted the challenge/mission impossible/request.

And god when splinter said " call me dad " i felt leo would cry immediately on the spot, like you didn't write it but you also didn't need to because my mind imagined almost 7 foot (?) old man in his 40s crying to 3 inches rat/j/lh 😂

But again i would advise giving this old man a huge tissue bag if he's gonna cry every 30 minutes.��

I laughed when F!leo said to little him " C'mere " i was like " bro are you talking to a teenager or a street cat?! 😂 " Little leo backing away and call him on the leader thing because he 'felt it in his bones' was related on another spiritual level because if i saw my parents talk about me i'd dip with every excuse in the world to NOT talk!

Then he asks him to 'talk' and go to dojo & i thought " soooo you're gonna whoop his ass as a way to talk? " but no, they really REALLY talk, F!leo ask questions and my mind goes " okay old man with babygirl energy, what's your game? " he ask about home, and i get giddy when little leo talk proudly about mikey & laugh at Donnie xD

I laughed at the " drill " part & how it took 2 seasons to upgrade it from beta to be finished. Then they go to shredder part & i thought " ohhhh! You're gonna remind little leo of how he was able to trick big mama but pull out 'at what cost?' Part " which - to be honest - was badass plan from leo but again... Worst communication ever.

F!leo cry in tears as he hugs little him & that when i thought; he made a mistake because he didn't want to be leader - which again i blame splinter, don't stop me people - and did what he thought would take his new role & get back to be support - which related because am 70/80% leo kinnie - but instead made a huge moos-take (badum-dass) that will probably stay - forever - his fault.

Little leo saw an example of it & tho he doesn't want the role it doesn't mean he can't take it slowly, they do have time thanks to the 3 hamatos - and jones we i won't forget them - from future, so proposing to start as co-leading with raph was a great step.

All in all, i thank you very much for the time you took out of your life to write this amazing ch. 12 of NQK🩷 and i won't lie when i say am excited for the future of this Fic🩷🩷🩷

AAAAHHHH MY FRIEND YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN,,, thank you for this magnificent review!!!!! Absolutely no losers here omg you're so good and precious and please never let yourself think otherwise.

I've read this ask so many times and boy it's so great to hear all these thoughts of yours. Best thing ever 11/10 would write again to get to read even a fraction of this dedication again.

The teenager vs. street cat comparison was hilarious jahsdg THAT'S REALLY HOW IT FELT LMAO

Thank you so much for taking the time to read the chapter and comment so extensively, I'm so grateful!! I'm absolutely tickled and also very excited for the future, so I'm really happy to hear that <333

#OLD MAN WITH BABYGIRL ENERGY what a brilliant descriptor #asks #nqk spoilers #kind of because it hasn't even been a full week since the update

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galactic-pirates · 7 months

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1, 14 and 21 for the ask game, please!

1) what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

I am unfortunately an honest person so this might be a bit of an over share I don’t know. I’m not very good at judging so I apologise in advance. I’m going to put it under a cut as it’s quite personal.

- being undiagnosed autistic for 26 years. This is probably by far the biggest slice of the ‘what shaped me’ pie. I was me - I am me - and I have never known different and so I thought life was just like this. That I couldn’t cope, that I was weird and always unwanted, all my failures I assumed that they were mine - that I was just wrong and bad and I learned to deeply hate myself. I broke. I have had 3 mental breakdowns and got worse each time. I now have a reason for why I struggle but I have these learned patterns of behaviour that I can’t shake. The self-loathing is in my bones, the depression and anxiety are intense. It’s not like that for all autistics but because I didn’t know. Yeah :/ it’s a real problem and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to let go, as I have never let go of anything in my life. I am stuck just getting worse and worse :(

- mum was my grandparents carer. I debated whether to put this in black and white. Mum doesn’t know my tumblr but I would hate for her to think I blamed her for anything. Absolutely not. Mum did the best she could, she always did the right thing, I support her totally. But it would be incorrect to say there were no consequences. I was a child and though mum insists it wasn’t true, I felt that my grandparents came first. On times I felt resentful like about Christmas plans or something, I then felt immediate shame and guilt about how I had thought it wasn’t fair, as it wasn’t about me. I do feel it has taught me to always put everyone else’s wishes above my own and to feel a lot of guilt about being any kind of burden, or even just existing in a space because surely I must be trouble.

- being on disability. A lot of self-loathing does come from this, that I am not contributing to society. But there’s also a hefty dose of fear. I am not in control of my situation. At any time the rules could change on me. I’m afraid of everything constantly. I mean fear is the singular constant in my life. But disability is definite constant low level anxiety, forever in the back of my mind. It never leaves me. I hate it. If I could get a job and leave it behind I would.

14) what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Go places. I’m virtually agoraphobic. I have panic attacks in the local supermarket. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. There’s a couple of science museums in London which look so cool, or there’s the Lego House.

But I think my real answer is to write professionally. True I mostly talk about novels and I did an attempt at indie publishing, but that was short-lived and I suppose I want to feel good enough. I didn’t give it a fair enough shake back then to tell if the market would eventually approve of me or not. However I have shied away from even trying since. I don’t expect they would have paid much but I have seen openings for staff writers a handful of times on sites I read everyday like WoWHead or BrickFanatics. I have contemplated sending in an application but haven’t dared. Honestly I’m not sure if I am more scared of rejection or success. I know rejection is a hell of a lot more likely obviously but I was just too afraid of the possibility of any kind of response.

21) are you a spiritual person?

Not really no. Death is something that terrifies me. Not for me but for losing mum. Sometimes I wish I did have some kind of faith. The closest thing to comfort I have in that sphere is the second law of thermodynamics, that energy can neither be created or destroyed. Yes I am quoting from an Agents of Shield episode but the sentiment really stuck with me. That everything that is, used to be something else, and will be something else again.

Thanks for the ask ❤️ sorry that I got a bit heavy there but hey you asked the questions.

#i answer things

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thisdreamplace · 2 years

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Do you agree with Kriston on the belief that you do not cause your reality as a singular consciousness and her belief on it being delusional? I agree with some of the things she mentioned such as the gaslighting and bypassing but some of her content doesn’t resonate. When listening, it felt like she would disagree with some aspect of manifestation but then her rebuttal sounds quite similar to what she is disagreeing with…liked her episode though.

such a good question bestie. yes, kind of ? LOL like. because people who talk like that literally call their human self god and don't actually realize their human self is not god and never was. so yeah, what she said made sense from that perspective. i just dont think everything is as clear cut as we wanted to believe it was when we first learned about everything. (like no its not as simple as thoughts create, etc etc) and i think its the secret a lot of coaches wont tell you. (not all, but the ones who care more about money or popularity than they care about actually helping people). people rly be thinking their human self is controlling life and thats just so far from what any teaching ever said. (this is why i have the bible verses i have in my bio, bc the difference is so overlooked) so on a level yes, but i also cant elaborate more at this moment. lol

tbh where i'm at on my journey rn and what i have experienced this past year has instilled this deeper understanding within me that i just havent been able to fully put into coherant words yet. guess thats why i dont rly post on anything specific these days. cuz im just out here experiencing, rather than just thinking.

i also agree with you on that, how she disagrees but also sounds like she agrees at the same time. its because kriston isnt actually against the law and hasnt stopped believing in manifestation. its moreso because she disagrees with how its being taught these days and the misguidance that is popular in the community on the basis of money and clout. so yeah, i think thats why she can sound contradictory; if you dont realize shes not actually against the law as a spiritual practice it may sound that way.

also. love how youre able to be open to other perspectives but also know when something doesnt work for you. we love a multi-dimensional person with an open mind. at least i do. i live for it. <3

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honourablejester · 11 months

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I went back to try the first two Eight Petals Argent books as a warlock this time. I think I’m just going to try out various characters of different classes to feel how they all play. And some impressions so far, of a (fathomless) warlock following immediately on the coattails of a (twilight) cleric.

I can’t tell how much of this is just bad luck compared to the cleric, because I’m also trying different routes through the adventure and different skills just mean different routes in some cases regardless, but the warlock feels significantly less survivable? Though this could also be a factor of a solo adventure where it’s all on you. But while they both have the same hit die and Con, with the warlock I’m worrying about my HP a lot more. A lot a lot more.

(I realise twilight cleric is an unfair comparison there, given Twilight Sanctuary and heal spells, but yeah)

Warlock also feels significantly more specialised. The cleric had tools for more situations. These adventures, to be fair to them, do do their best to vary things up a LOT, so different classes can have places where they shine, but what that does mean is that when you’re playing through the whole thing with just your single character to rely on, there’s areas where you struggle. I feel like I felt that less on the cleric, who could handle most things decently well. On the warlock, say, the lengthy outdoor survival challenge was more of an issue.

Where the warlock does feel significantly better, at least straight out of the gate, is combat. I feel like an attack roll cantrip vs purely save cantrips does make a big difference at low levels? Again, that could just be luck of the dice rolls, but I felt like the warlock’s hits just landed more. Once the cleric got up to third level and had things like spiritual weapon online, she sped up a lot more. The warlock, because I’m playing Fathomless, had functionally a spiritual weapon from day one (though it’s not going to level very well by comparison, I’m aware). They felt like they had more control over combat faster.

Although. Caveat. The warlock feels better in ranged combat, specifically. Once they get up into melee combat, the HP issue starts rearing up again, as well as the lower AC and lack of melee attack options. And, again, I realise that if I’d been comparing, say, a knowledge cleric vs a hexblade warlock, this comparison might also go the other way. My cleric having a rapier and a shield to work with helped her out a lot. Now that I’ve hit 3rd level on the warlock and picked up a melee cantrip via Pact of the Tome, we’ll see if that makes a difference.

The warlock’s higher off-the-bat damage output has helped them a lot, though. With the survivability thing too. In that my cleric almost always wound up having to be in melee, because most things survived long enough to close with her, while my warlock once, very memorably for me, survived by the skin of their fucking teeth a gauntlet of three combats in a row with nothing between them because they killed the third enemy in one hit with a hex-augmented agonising eldritch blast from 45ft away. It did 13 damage, which happened to be exactly as many hp as the enemy had. Which was fantastic, because my warlock had 3 hit points left and no means to get more.

In full melee, though, when I’m in tiny dungeon rooms, I have a dagger. Sometimes a hex-augmented dagger, but still just a dagger. It’s rough. I’m flipflopping on my 2nd level spell because of that too. I feel like going Misty Step, but since I’m fighting alone a lot of the time, or with only a single NPC, it might be worth picking up Darkness to pair with my Devil’s Sight? If I’m in a tiny room and forced into melee, dropping darkness might help balance things my way.

I also ran into an odd tactical thing I hadn’t considered with the Tentacle of the Deeps. You can deploy it, to start, anywhere within 60ft. But you can only move it, afterwards, 30ft per turn. Which did me a lot of good when it missed the first attack and the boss enemy promptly dashed to fucking melee with me 60ft away leaving my tentacle waving uselessly in the breeze for two rounds of trying not to die before it could catch up again. If it does hit it helps itself by dropping their move speed, but if it misses it can find itself left behind. I didn’t run into that issue with the cleric as much because, by luck of the draw, by the time she had spiritual weapon she was often in boss-with-minion fights with bosses who didn’t like to move so much, so she could leave the weapon on the boss while she was in melee with the minions. My warlock, who likes to be significantly more mobile to try and keep at range, and who was deploying the tentacle earlier against bosses designed to be much more mobile, ran into positioning issues the cleric didn’t.

I don’t know, I’m kind of having fun getting to actually play these things and explore the tactical and other differences in the way they play. I didn’t know solo adventures were a thing. The lack of a group around here and my lack of a space at home where I’d have the privacy for video to play online meant I didn’t have any actual experience with this game. It’s a lot of fun actually trying things out.

I’m so tempted to go back to a cleric next time though. A knowledge cleric this time. But. Let’s try things out before I fall immediately into a rut. Might try a rogue, get a non-spellcaster experience. Or a ranger. And I do want to try star druid at some point too.

I’m glad I found these things. I hope the fourth book comes out soon.

#d&d #5e #solo adventures #clerics vs warlocks #not really #more just musing on how differently they play #i'm having fun

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isabellehemlock · 2 years

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5 things I never tire of writing

I was tagged by the kind @boutiquetraveltravelboutique to share some themes I've noticed over the last two years, across one million words lol, thank you!

1. Porn with feelings

I'm a sex positive ace who didn't even know the term "asexual" until my mid 20s, and so I take that writing advice of "write what you would have loved to have read as a teen" to heart when it comes to a lot of my PWF. I'd elaborate further privately lol, but it feels far too exposing (and I consider myself a fairly open book in some ways lol) to explain on a public blog 😅 But yeah, it's a big theme I've written a lot of!

2. Trauma

Well without going into details, I'm very invested in stories that involve healing and communication and advocating etc etc etc. It once again goes to that writing advice from above, but also just healing for me personally to navigate fictional stories in safe spaces that discuss particular kinds of abuse but also grief and loss taking steps along that healing journey ~ some of the most meaningful comments I've received are ones from readers who felt seen, or heard, and a few even shared how some have helped their own grieving process. I felt very humbled reading those 🥲

3. Dialogue

I'm a words of affirmations gal ~ and I will genuinely write out all the dialogue before I start the chapter lol. It's like, for me, the dialogue is the most important and that's where I pour most of the initial energy into to capture the vibes - and then I write the words/scenes around it. I do have a few where the dialogue might not be a lot of lines in comparison to the rest of the structured fic, but even then, I strive for the importance of the line to be built up on by the descriptions before it - not the other way around. Words, lovely words, I'll never have enough of people communicating 💕

4. Religion

My faith is important to me, my number one - and yet, having experienced spiritual abuse myself, and not being heteronormartive, I would never pretend there aren't valid critiques to organized religion. So I understand why some people might be confused why I would invest so much into it, but my relationship with my God is a personal one that I like to explore through characters in the content I create. To write or draw fellow interfaith queer characters (while acknowledging my takes are self indulgent fanon and no other takes - including a character hating all things religious - are any less valid!) but for me personally? It's that representation that speaks to me on a personal level and I enjoy getting to make self indulgent pieces for a niche group of readers/friends (y'all know who you are). One of the most meaningful gifts I've ever received was a commissioned piece of art that is my tumblr header (Joe x Nicky praying together) when im not using seasonal ones, I cried and cried when I was given it. It really means that much to me 💗

5. Crack

Now for whiplash time. Considering I mostly write about heavy subject matters, I don't think it's all that surprising I would want to lean on a sort of play therapy lol. Ridiculous stories that only a handful of people would ever enjoy and that's alright, I enjoy it enough for everyone lol! But yeah, from quackverse to catbois to sarcastic precanon takes, I love to laugh and I'll happily share with whoever might like to join in 😅

Tagging:

@ongreenergrasses @energievie @werebearbearbar @sheafrotherdon @mekana47

#five things i never tire of writing #tag game #thank you Sarah!

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theemperorsfeather · 1 year

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I know mostly I have been ranting/angsting about the current spiritual whatever-this-is, and it deserves it! But it has not been all - hmm, what is a good word to use - difficult. Lately it has been lovely in ways I would never have expected (. . . I think this was unexpected but now that it is, it feels like "oh of course"); not all knowledge is terrible, I guess. I mean, I am still expecting some additional major blows but I think this time it might not be the kind where some major underpinning of my life gets yanked out from under me. Maybe.

Anyway! Along with all that, they took me to meet yet-another Power yesterday and you know. There have for sure been times when I felt terror in the presence of a Power, because they were just ... big. And there have been numerous times when I've felt deeply unnerved by entities, even those I am closest to, because occasionally I get a feeling of their deep uncanniness-plus-immensity/age/whatever and the small prey mammal in me just goes "ahh I should be hiding, don't see me don't see me don't eat me pleasedon'teatmeohgodshe'slookingatme." But this was the first time I have simply stopped cold with terror and been like "yeah I really don't want to go in there, no sir" and could not proceed for a good few moments. And then we did! and it got worse!! I did get over it but holy fuck. I both know and don't know who/what that was. I know what I was told, and on another level it is all literally incomprehensible, or maybe it's just the kind of knowing that my little mammal brain cannot grasp without nearly going to pieces. (Some knowledge is terrible.)

That episode seems like a continuation of a pattern of meet-and-greets that's been going on for about 3 years now - though I suppose some of the themes its connected with have been lifelong, all this weird rock/geology (?)/underground/mountain stuff - and anyway, no I don't know what that's all about or what it's leading up to but I got another whole volume of stuff to unpack (literally/metaphorically; another being gave me a book-shaped thing and that's um been incorporated into the process now).

I'm surprised I don't feel like I've been hit by a truck, because that felt like a lot, and oftentimes I need a day or more to get my energy back after the kinds of processes that were involved, but I only feel like I stayed up too late, which, you know, fair, I did.

#spiritual bullshit #i have -family- and they are - <3 <3 <3

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bloodgarnet · 3 hours

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my contribution to smoshblr: some open-ended ianthony-but-really-mostly-gen not!fics. three different AUs, too short to post on AO3 (and I can't be fucked to ACTUALLY write them to completion sooo...). will post the other two when I get around to them.

1/3 – Dungeon Chumps

Shayne sometimes finds himself missing their old travel companions.

In the dungeon diving world, it’s normal for parties to split up after a successful (or unsuccessful) raid, then attempt to reconvene only to find out that their cleric found a higher-paying gig, or the frontliner decided to settle down with a tavernkeeper. Even still, nothing can tarnish those golden memories of Noah and Keith jostling over their pot around the campfire, or Olivia's off-key attempts to sing to woodland creatures. He wonders where Courtney is now.

You know who he doesn’t miss? Ian. Because Ian never really leaves.

It was almost a running gag ever since his first proper five-person mission when they’d decided on hiring a dungeon guide, and Ian had been the only one in their budget. Like, suspiciously cheap services, in that way that was only more suspicious because it turned out, if anything, he was probably way overqualified for his job.

It took a while for them to warm up to him, which is to say that after that first mission, they separated with a somewhat guilty sigh of relief, though Shayne immediately felt guilty afterwards. It was the dungeon, nothing else. They were so ready for a nice, long break. Yeah.

But no need to worry! There Ian was again, just… hanging around outside the next dungeon, boredly asking if any adventurers needed assistance. So they took him on again, and then the next time, and the one after that.

It’s not like they couldn’t manage without him, but at this point, he’s basically their unofficial sixth member. And every time they crawl back up to the surface, Ian bids his farewells, and then—bam!—he’s just there at the next location as if waiting for them the whole time.

Damien seems entirely unbothered and calls it ‘big NPC energy’, whatever that means.

Ian is a bit of an awkward goofball but unfailingly professional where it counts, fleet-footed with an eye for traps and extensive knowledge of the history of dungeons. He can talk for hours about natural spike formations and how gruesome body collections are (really, he could talk less about that part), but god forbid you ask him a personal question.

Anyway, group members have changed over the years and Shayne had cheerfully welcomed newcomers Angela and Chanse alongside Amanda and Damien’s more familiar faces. As usual, they accepted their guide’s services at the entrance and several days later were taking their time cleaning up the lower levels, scrounging around for every last morsel of loot.

“Do you have another job lined up after this one?” Chanse starts the conversation, polite in the way that newbies often are. It’s a good question.

Amanda is the one who answers, “Oh, I’ve heard there’s a new dungeon west from here. I have a friend on the coast who’s been telling me all about it via snail mail.”

“Are you sure it’s actually new if the snails are carrying it?” Angela says doubtfully, trudging along in the rear. “I don’t get why the postal service can’t pick a better animal.”

“Well, it’s supposed to be around six or seven years old by now, I think,” Amanda clarifies. She raises her voice a little, mindful of the echo because you never know what’s up ahead, and calls out to the guide, “Hey, Ian, do you know anything about it? It’s the one in the Lost Angels province.”

From his position, Shayne can make out Ian’s silhouette coming to a halt for a brief moment, then continuing on as if nothing happened.

“The Sacramento Dungeon. I know of it. The name comes from ‘sacrament’, a religious symbol or rite in which spiritual power is transmitted through material elements. A bestowment of divine grace.”

His words are flat, detached.

Shayne raises an eyebrow and drawls, “Thanks, I was really curious about the name, man. Do you know anything interesting about the dungeon itself? What caused it, types of monsters, if it’s worth visiting…”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

That’s surprising. Chanse looks curious and prods further, “Even though it’s newly formed? What’s there to be worried about?” Shayne notes with respect that he’s being genuine rather than foolhardy. That’s often a worry with younger adventurers, but he’s proven to have a good head on his shoulders.

Angels adds, “Yeah, we could totally take it on! We’re total badasses!”

They discuss it further and Shayne watches Ian’s face turn grimmer with their growing resolution. He brings up a few tentative dissuasions but obviously can’t think of a concrete reason they can’t go. Even stranger, his comments seem to imply that he’ll be coming along for the ride, which he doesn’t have to do if he’s so against it.

Ian gives them a warning hand gesture and retreats to the back of the party. Shayne steps up to the front and confirms, “Final boss up ahead.”

“Finally, I’ve been meaning to say something to this fucker.” Amanda stretches her arms out, readying her weapon.

The aged iron door opens slowly with a loud creaking whine. Nobody hears Ian muttering to himself.

“I have something to say to that guy, too.”

#ianthony

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alyjojo · 7 months

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Twin Flame 🔥 Journey - November 2023 - Cancer

Your Energy:

5 Swords - 10 Wands - 3 Cups

Main Energy: Justice

It’s always Cancer that takes me to that *next* level of depth, that I try to avoid getting into - we all do - but the deeper shit needs discussing too. From the initial energy out here, with the karma cards, this is/was intense. This person is delulu 😵‍💫 and controlling af and I’m not sure how long you put up with this before you realized. North Node is your destined path. Pisces is the sign of spirituality, dreams, drugs, suffering, martyrdom, the victim. Even that’s too black/white, and they are neither. Or both. People like to call it “victim mentality”, and sometimes that’s true, but I don’t like to disregard the intense victimized experiences that can come along with Pisces lessons, being naive & idealistic is a double edged sword, there’s always a deeper reason there and it’s usually some level of suffering. 8th House is death, spirituality, transformative experiences 💯 and joint resources. I don’t want to say you were “meant” to be a victim cuz that’s fucked up, but…yeah, when it comes to this person. Rather, you are meant to get tf away from this person 🙏

I don’t want to point too many fingers, I do see extremely controlling and potential financial abuse on their side. You have Justice 🗡️ The only thing I got for you in the preshuffle was wishing “you had held back”. 5 Swords is on your side, there could’ve been some nasty conflicts that you wish you’d have cut off a long time ago, 10 Wands is heavily burdened by this shit, you could’ve carried this with you a long time. You’re finally in a King of Swords mentality, your emotions have been whacked around like a dang tennis ball and no longer get a say in how this goes, you’re using your head, the facts, what you’ve seen & experienced, and what you know is right 💯

You judge yourself harshly for ever allowing it. There were many conflicts between you and this person, nasty words and actions, hateful shit, but you kept coming back. That’s what burdens you so deeply now, you would reconcile over giving up on this person. You went along with the delusion, and it may have gone back and forth from rage-like situations, or just unleashing EVERYTHING on some grand scale, to complete silence. Stonewall. And you were the tennis ball 🎾 bouncing back and forth through all of it.

Just to reconnect later, you felt like your hands were tied, you had no choice. You could’ve been financially unstable, you both show up as King & Queen of Pentacles - in reverse. You couldn’t do it on your own, at the time, that could be due to a job, finances in general, a family dynamic & you can’t afford to be a single parent. Or they can’t, both. There were more reasons for your healing a connection (multiple times) than just “love”, though I’m sure that played a role too. You see it clearly now though.

Their Energy:

Knight of Cups rev - King of Pentacles rev - Ace of Swords & 7 Wands

Main Energy: The Sun

This person is waiting, expecting, you to message them. They just know you’re going to. Maybe before, you did. They see the disconnect between you as impulsive, spontaneous, and unreliable…meaning you’ll be back. You always come back 👀 Knight of Cups rev confirms they’re delulu & my own red flags are flyingggg 🚩🚩🚩The arrogance 💯

They’re definitely going through some level of awakening, I don’t get it’s spiritual or even substantial, it’s more an accountability thing. Because it’s being forced on them? They’re gaining clarity to lovebombing, overidealistic behavior, fantasies vs. reality, projections, romanticizing things or refusing to see the truth in situations. Could be victim mentality, I hate that phrase but it may actually apply here. It could apply to you, or that’s how they see you. That could be because you’re a literal victim too tf. You’ll just come running back. Extremely controlling, 8th House is joint finances, you could be married and this person controls the bank account. King of Pentacles rev shows up for them twice, this is someone conditional, there are a list of expectations you have to meet to “earn” their love. They could be emotionally closed off entirely, if water is emotions, their plumbing is all fkd up, there’s no water to be found. Instead they place value on money, status, material things, reputation, and may be someone who prioritizes career over everything. No success = no real worth as a human being. Even being so, their own stability is severely lacking, entitled with no explanation, they act like they have it all together and they’re in control, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. They see you as Knight of Wands rev in their life. Spontaneous endings, in and out behavior, non committal, non reliable, they get angry or fired up about something and “it’s over!”, *door slam probably*. So this person isn’t totally lost, you’re both waking up to the toxicity that exists between you, or did exist.

I’m not sure how self aware they are exactly though. They see it, kinda, but I don’t think they “own it”, or think it’s wrong. They think they’re right, and they’ll die on that hill. Like whatever they’ve given you was deserved. Ace of Cups rev after this King rev again, shows they’re emotionally empty. They can’t give you the love you deserve, period, they don’t have any. And it’s like they don’t want you for the right reasons, it’s not for love, it’s because fk anyone else trying to have you. You are a prop in their lives, a trophy they keep winning, they *own* you 💯 They expect you to come running back to them, knowing full well they’re perfectly fine with or without you. This person man…just yikes all over. I waited till this point to throw out the word, and I honestly didn’t believe narcissists could have Twin Flames - there’s no depth there. This one definitely won’t be for everyone, but someone needs it. For those where you’re like no that’s kinda harsh, addictions could be playing a role as well, or just Devil energy keeping them trapped in toxic behaviors. The most intense of this story may identify with covert narcissism.

With Ace of Swords here, and swords on your side, you could still be arguing with this person, they could still be very much be a part of your life, and Spirit could be pushing you to run, that’s what this Knight of Wands does, in this type of reading it’s the runner, and it shows up for you. You’re already seeing sense, using your intellect, and waking up to the toxicity of this connection, realizing it needs to be severed - Justice. And Cut Down as the Oracle, Spirit is confirming and then reconfirming if you didn’t hear the first time. They’re already pissed, it’s like you spontaneously ended this and so far have held your ground, which is blowing their mind 🤯 They’re scrambling for justification of their side of things, defending themselves and their position to you, you should be “working together”, now it’s all about a spirit of teamwork ok. In reality, no, it’s about them, they’re failing to control you, or feeling like they’re losing control of you, and they’re losing their fkn mind over it 💯 They’ll fight this. You belong to them, who tf do you think you are being independent from them and setting boundaries or cutting them off, get back here! Wheel of Fortune at the bottom, things are changing for the better. Not for them, for you.

Mutual Energy/What is Mirrored:

Ace of Cups - King of Cups - King of Wands rev

Main Energy: 5 Wands rev

There may have been apologies for bad behavior, at the same time this person was being cut off - Justice again. You have genuine love for them, a whole cup, and you expected one in return, 2 Cups. Naturally. At this point I don’t see you even pointing fingers, you don’t want to fight. You don’t want to be with anyone else, you’ve made that clear, you just want to put more love into yourself. 2 Cups (in your mind) to One cup, your cup. You need a break, need to heal, need time away from this person. They’re going to try to fight you and you’re going to avoid them because you just can’t. Can’t do this anymore 💯 This is shared because they heard you, and you see them fighting it. You’re taking control of the situation and this person’s ego is plummeting because you don’t care anymore. Nevermind all the times you did care. They could try to tempt you with some deep “hidden” emotions, maybe sex, and I just see you like “meh”. Don’t care. The worrisome part on your side is I don’t see you talking about this at all. Not with friends, family, anyone, because you’re afraid of what other people will say or do, you don’t want conflict or chaos, that’s exactly what you’re trying to get away from. BOSS with The Emperor is like “I got this”. You do, you’re very intelligent where you are now, but you could use some support from literally any avenue. Support groups with strangers maybe? Something, anything 🩷 You just battled The Devil.

Karmic Cards:

NORTH NODE - PISCES - 8TH HOUSE

- There will be spirituality to ultimately experience personal power.

- Success from trusting your psychic knowledge of the mysteries of life.

- Benefit resulting from the indecision of or about a major change.

Messages:

You:

- What other people say matters too much to me.

- BOSS 😎

Them:

- Blaming You 💯

- Greedy 🤑

- NOT talking to you is killing ME

Love Oracle:

You: CUT DOWN 🪓

- Cutting Out

- Separation

- Stop the Pattern

- Silent Treatment

Them: ADDICTION 💊

- Codependent

- Obsession & Restraint

- Possession & Control

- Emotional Block

Possible Signs:

Any/every sign. Heavy Libra & Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo & Capricorn - all the earth 🌍

#cancer #red flag 🚩#red flag reading #that’s what it should be called #twin flame #twin flame reading #November 2023 #tarot #tarotblr

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