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sftykth · 2 days

Text

milk and cookies ⟢ anakin skywalker i.

banner made by me!

╭ summary: your doll like face will be the end of anakin skywalker he was sure of it. however he must stay away from his disturbing thoughts as he was only your sugar daddy, and you two had agreed on a deal, no physical contact. Though for how long can you both resist the temptation?

╭ pairing: y/n x anakin skywalker

╭ genre: college au!, gap age (y/n is 20, anakin is 42), sugar daddy

╭ a/n: hi everyone! i couldn’t help but make another story as the idea sprung into my head. i would love to hear your feedback on it!:)

Today seemed like God was not on your side.

From the moment you had woken to your alarm not going off, to the precious sweat you had to break for chasing a taxi to meet him. You will admit you might have slept through the alarm this morning but that can't be entirely your fault. Your curious little mind just had to stay up and do research more of the stranger that you will be seeing for the first time today.

Anakin Skywalker. The name that drove you crazy for the past two weeks straight. A very well known man in Coruscant, the front leading man for ruling the state. To say you were quite intimidated by him would be an understatement, however you tried to ease yourself by reminding your little head that he agreed to this.

When you created an account for a sugar daddy website, seeing the man who was known for being cold and ruthless was the last person you expected. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, wondering if you should add him. Handsome wasn't enough to describe this man, he was absolutely divine. The blue piercing eyes had made your breath hitch, you had been aware of his overwhelming looks but seeing it up close still made your knees weak. The sunken smile lines revealed his age and instead of making you feel turned off, it inflamed something deep within you. Creating an account was purely for financial gain, as a broke college student you had listened to your friend and pushed yourself to try it out.

As you sit in the taxi on the way to the little cafe you both had agreed to meet, just on the outskirts of the city. Away from the prying eyes. You reminisce on the first messages you two had exchanged, past you not believing that the day will come were you will meet this man.

April, 2024.

[Sky] Hi.

[Dollface] hey! what's up?!

[Sky] You added me?

[Dollface] um well yea but just a polite thing to say yk..

[Sky] I see. I don't think I have you seen on here before.

[Dollface] come here often huh;)

[Sky] Funny.

[Dollface] sorry. yeah im new here. hoping not to run into no creeps haha

[Sky] Well, one thing I can promise is that I'm not a creep. So dollface, why are you here?

At the moment you were scared by his harsh tone but you grew to embrace it and it only made you tease him harder. Even his texting style made you think about how much older he was, nearly twice your age. Somehow it just didn't concern you that much, you knew that getting into something like this will most likely mean that the men on the website will be much older. You only ever had one boyfriend in your twenty ears, and that was when you were sixteen and he was around the same age. You shook your head at the thought, this man is not going to become your boyfriend. This is a pure transactional relationship, something he made to stress.

Him being a known figure had its advantages to that you were able to get every detail of his life, from a young age he was put into the world of leadership and wealth. Age eighteen he had already won the elections and was announced as the youngest ruler of the state. Married at twenty one to the daughter of the ruler of Naboo, Mr Amidala and having twins just at the pure age of twenty three. You shuddered at the though of having to raise children so young. Though an unexpected divorce at the age of thirty had made you raise your eyebrows, even though you knew of the power couple you were never really into politics, the topic being all too confusing for someone like you. Leaving twelve years of being single, you wondered what caused him to join such website, he didn't reveal much through messages.

"Miss, we are here." You heard the driver speak up, you shook out of your thoughts and thanked him before handing some cash and leaving the car.

You shivered at the cold breeze that swept by you, you tugged your little pink skirt further down. Hoping that warmer days are coming, you hated the cold. Finally, the realization that you will be meeting this man that you have been messaging hit you like a ton of bricks. You gulped, as you peered at the cafe in front of you. Without another thought you rushed through the doors, feeling bad you that you must of have left him waiting. From the research you had done you knew he was a punctual man, always the first one ready for every event.

Scanning the area around you before you spotted the tall figure sat right at the back booth. You didn't even realize he was already staring you down like you had murdered his whole family, speed walking to the table.

"I'm so sorry Mr Skywalker, I slept through my alarm this morning and I didn't realize how long the ride will take." you rambled on, cheeks turning red being under his intense stare.

He hummed and pointed to the seat in front of him, not saying a word yet. Your hands shook slightly at the silence he was giving you, taking the seat he was pointing. Expecting the cold shoulder but still slightly hoping that the messages you had exchanged had encouraged some form of lightheartedness.

"Twenty minutes. That is how long I have been waiting for you. I must say I'm very displeased by this." Were his first words to me, oh that sweet honey voice rolling smoothly of his tongue. You took every word in carefully, gazing up at him you tried not to get too distracted by his good looks.

"I'm sorry... I will do better next time. I promise Mr Skywalker." you mumbled, biting your lip as sudden shyness took over your body.

"Not so bold now are, dollface? I must say the nickname does match the face." he added as he toyed with the coffee cup in his hand. The compliment had made you blush harder, not being able to look into his eyes no more as you shook your head carefully. The way he said the nickname had made your thighs clench together beneath the table, hoping he didn't notice the action. He did.

You were unsure how to reply, not really expecting for him to be so forward, before you could say anything he begins with a "So, are you ready to go through the rules?"

This made you look up. Rules? He was really an organised man afterall. "Yes." You replied, unsure what possible rules he will be giving you but still ready to hear what he wants from you. The intention of why you were on the website in the first place was known to him but you were yet to learn what he wanted from you. He said he would only discuss it in person which encouraged the meeting in the first place.

"Okay good. So as you know already my job requires of me to attend to many different events. Not just around our state but to others as well." He carefully listed, his eyes never leaving yours. Though you were taking every word in carefully, knowing you couldn't afford to anger him. Being late already set you back in your eyes, so you had to try harder to impress him. You scoffed inside, you didn't have to impress him, this is not a date. You had to remind yourself once again.

"My uncle, well he is a very persistent man and as much as I try to push his talks away it seems impossible. He wants me to marry again. This is something I cannot do, but to push those frustrating talks away I thought you could be an actual help here." Furrowing your eyebrows, you added puzzled, "You want to marry me?"

He scoffed at the words. For some reason that made your insides feel weird. You shook your head, this is not a date. You kept repeating in your head. "No, of course not. I meant that you could play a pretend girlfriend or some sort. Only for a while, until he backs off and I can finish off my tasks without having to hear his talks." He answered, taking a sip of his coffee. You licked your lips in response, you felt crazy for finding any action of his so sexy. You had to control yourself.

"I see. So what would be rules I would need to follow?" You asked, still unsure about this whole thing but deep within you knew you wanted to keep seeing this man. Something about him made you question your morals, wanting to do absolutely anything to please him. Once again you had to shake your head at such disturbing thoughts appearing in your head.

"Well firstly, you will and must attend every event that I have scheduled. No matter last minute or not, those events are super important for me and my job. And that way the media will be able to spread the word of their leader in a relationship and my uncle can finally back off. There will be no physical contact between us besides a typical hand hold, and only for such contact to made will be at those events. And for your attendance you will be payed as discussed prior of course." This seemed so easy for him as he spoke, always so professional.

You had to take all the information in, this was such an unusual situation. When your friend said to join the website you were expecting you will have to get some form of sexual interaction but this, this was so different. You can't lie, it was really an amazing deal. Though you cannot lie that the last rule made you slightly disappointing, you didn't know how you will control yourself next to this man and not be able to touch him.

"Deal" You squealed, throat dry from not speaking up for a while. Embarrassment took over you, hoping you didn't draw too much attention to yourself. You saw a slight smirk appear on his handsome face, "That's good, I'm glad." You still couldn't look into his eyes for long before staring at the table, playing with the hems at the end of your skirt.

"It was nice meeting you, dollface. I hope that our next meeting will be with you on time." The comment made your head shot up, face flushed as your doe like eyes stared up him, you saw his adams apple wobble as he swallowed, adjusting his tie he stood up, ready to leave.

"Oh and nice shirt, dollface." Were his last words as he turned away and walked out the doors. Leaving you speechless and embarrassed, you looked down at the shirt and saw you had forgotten in your late process to put a bra on, your white shirt clearly highlighting the hardened nipples from the earlier cold you felt.

You cursed yourself, this is going to be the hardest thing you will have to do. You were sure of it.

— i would love to hear your feedback on it:) and let me know if you like another part to it.

#anakin skywalker masterlist #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker #star wars anakin #star wars #hayden christiensen imagines #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen #anakin x reader #anakin smut #anakin x you #anakin fanfiction #anakin imagine

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turcott3 · 3 days

Text

unwritten

ethan edwards x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, angst, fluff, kisses

masterlist

you hopped off your bed to the light taps on your door. you opened the door expecting to see your mom but instead are met with the presence of your long time close friend.

“ethan?” you question, scanning the look on his face. to you, he was never hard to read and you could tell something was wrong.

“can i come in?” he asks.

“yeah yeah of course.” you say back up and letting the boy into your room. you sit back in your spot on the bed as he stands in silence after putting his bag down, typing something on his phone.

“what’s wrong with you?” you ask, noting his unbreakable frown.

“huh?”

“what’s wrong? are you okay?” you ask.

“yeah i just-“ he starts and pauses, trying to think of what to say. you could tell he was holding back.

“just spill, you know i wouldn’t judge you.” you say, hoping to soothe the boy, something you’d figured out years ago.

“well, you know it was my last day of classes and i’d been talking to one of my classmates, in class of course, and we were kinda like getting close and flirting whatever. like an in class crush type of deal and i was gonna ask for her number today but then. fuck.” he pauses, pressing his lips to a thin line.

“and then?” you urge him to continue.

“she fucking asked me if luca was single.” he sighs out.

“well that’s just rude of her.” you say, seeing how he would react.

“i gave her his snap and stuff but like, i don’t know. it made me feel really terrible.”

“i mean that’s fair, but why?”

“because y/n. this shit always happens to me. every single time i think i have a shot at a girl, she wants one of my friends. like am i not good enough? not attractive? like what’s so wrong with me that i can’t be wanted.” he breathes out.

“oh eddy.” you frown, beckoning him to sit on your bed.

“i’m sorry, that was a lot you probably didn’t wanna hear.”

“no no, keep talking, i know there’s more. it’ll make you feel better.” you say placing a sympathetic hand on his arm.

“i just want someone to love me and to want me. i’m 21 for christs sake. all of my teammates and my friends have girlfriends. i just feel left out and it sucks. i’m happy for them of course but i just want someone for me to love and they love me back. i really don’t feel like im asking that much.” he says, trying to hide the tears that fell as he spoke from his heart.

“no one will sit and listen to how i feel, ever. the feeling of being unwanted is like this endless fucking void that can’t just be filled by hookups, i just feel myself slipping deeper everyday.” he continues, less shy about his tears now. you lean up and wrap your arms around him in his fragile state, causing him to release the damn that threatened to break. you lean back, holding the brunette to your chest. the two of you were never very physical but at this moment it was the only thing you could think of to help him.

“i’ll listen ethan, i’ll always listen to you. i’ll always be here for you. it’s gonna be okay.” you say, hugging onto him tighter. you hated seeing him this upset, you’d never seen him like this before and it broke your heart. you found yourself shedding a few tears yourself. he sits up from your grip and observes your state, tears dampening your cheeks.

“why are you crying y/n?” he perks up, wiping the tears that fell.

“because ed, i can’t stand hearing you say this. i can’t believe YOU feel unwanted and unloved. people are stupid to not see who you are. ethan, you’re so lovable and everyone is a fucking dumbass for not wanting you. you’re the sweetest guy i’ve ever met, and i know we’ve been friends since forever ago but i feel awful. i feel like i could do more to make you feel better.” you say remaining strong on your statement, the urge to cry fading away.

“how about this, you stay the night with me. we have a movie night and stay up and talk and then tomorrow we have a lake day. just me and you.” you offer as he nuzzles back to your chest. an unfamiliar feeling.

“your dad will let us take the boat?” he asks.

“i mean he won’t let anyone else drive it except you so.” you giggle.

“for real?” he says sitting up.

“yes.”

“sick.” he replies, getting comfortable on his side of the bed for the night. the two of you sat in a soothing silence as a movie played on your tv. as the a/c kicked in you grew cold, goosebumps littering your skin. you buried yourself under your comforter, trying to avoid making your discomfort being obvious.

“you good?” he asks.

“yeah, just really fucking freezing.”

“come here.” he says pulling the covers over him, pulling you to his side. you drape your arm over his toned and shirtless abdomen, you heart rate spiking at the contact. you didn’t know why you felt so nervous. well you did, but you weren’t going to admit it.

“thank you eddy.”

“of course y/n/n.” he smiles, placing his chin on top of your head. you could get used to the feeling of being in his warm embrace. as the night continued, you hardly lost contact with each other. talking and laughing in the comfort of his arms.

“you think we should go to sleep?” you sit up checking the time on your phone.

“probably, we got a busy day tomorrow.” he giggles, shutting your tv off and laying down getting comfortable.

“g’night ethan.”

“night y/n, sleep good.” he says quietly as the two of you drifted off to sleep with the thought of each other on your minds.

“you ready?” you ask standing on your back deck.

“as i’ll ever be.” he smiles, taking the bag from you and walking down the deck. he steps onto the bought tossing the back to the ground before reaching out a hand to help you onto the boat.

“thank you kind sir.”

“of course madam.” he replies and a smile spreads widely across your cheeks.

“alright let’s get this shit show on the road.” he says turning the key, the engine kicking on.

“please don’t get me beat up this time.” you say grabbing onto his shoulders.

“i’ll try.” he smiles as you sit in the co pilot seat.

“good.” you reply, relaxing as he cruised off smoothly. you loved watching him drive as he smiled, bringing the two of you to corners of the lake you hadn’t seen before, your heart fluttering as he talked about all the good memories he had with his buddies there, but the feeling of sadness oozing its way in. he hasn’t been with them much outside of hockey in months, let alone here on the lake.

he slowed the boat to a stop, shutting off the engine and tossing the anchor off the edge. you were in a quiet area, no other boats anywhere to be found. he sat back in his seat without a word. you stretched your arms out as you got comfortable in your seat, ethan taking your hand in his from across the walkway. your face slowly turning pink as he adjusted his grip on your hand as he sat on his phone. his thumb brushing back and forth on your knuckles gently.

“hey eddy.” you say and he looks up not letting go.

“i’m glad you’re here with me.” you smile, squeezing his hand.

“me too.”

“i’ve never seen these parts of the lake before, they’re gorgeous.” you say, taking in the territory around you.

“i was hoping i could make some new memories here.” he smiles turning his head to look at you.

“well i hope im doing an okay job.”

“you’re doing more than okay y/n.” he giggles, a blush spreading across his face. you stand up out of your chair, sadly letting go of his hand.

“shall we?” you ask, holding up your life jackets.

“we shall.” he smiles. moments later, the two of you jumping into the water.

“jesus it’s cold.” you say re-emerging from the water.

“a little yeah.” ethan giggles, shaking the water out of his hair. you swim over to him, wrapping your arms gently around his neck, resting your chin on his shoulder from behind.

“i think that’s a little better.” he says quietly.

“yeah.” you sigh. the two of you remained in the water for a while longer swimming and talking, laughing. it felt nice to be out on the lake alone with your best friend, who you soon hoped would be more than that.

“should we go find a new spot?” ethan asks, helping you back onto the boat.

“yeah we should.” you reply, wrapping yourself in a towel and sitting on the bench seat, ethan plopping down right next to you.

“today has been really fun y/n.” he smiles at you.

“yeah it has.” you reply.

“for the first time in a while i’m not worried about anything else. i haven’t felt this content in so long.”

“me either ed. i’m so happy to be here with you right now.” you smile, taking his hand back into yours. you say in a comfortable silence for a brief moment before he takes your cheeks into his hands, bringing your lips to his for a moment. he pulls away as your face burns red. you were scared he would regret it.

“i’m sorry that was-“ he starts and you interrupt him by pulling him back to your lips, melting into the kiss instantly, his hands placed delicately on your waist as your hands rest comfortably on his cheeks. you pull away giggling as he’s forehead lands on your collar bone. you kiss him on the temple as he sits up.

“let’s go to a new spot yeah?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his face.

“okay.” he smiles softly, the two of you taking your place back in your seats.

you say freshly showered on your bed as ethan returns, brushing his hair dry with his towel. he tosses the towel in your hamper and hops back onto your bed, finding his way cuddled to your side.

“hey ethan.” you say, twisting his damp locks between your fingers.

“yeah?” he asks leaning up a bit.

“seeing you so fragile yesterday was honestly really hard for me, i wasn’t really sure why but, i know now.”

“what was it?”

“because all this time i wanted you.”

“what do you mean?”

“i want you ed. i want to hold you, kiss you, love you. it broke my heart hearing how unwanted you felt. but it hurt me because i had gone so long feeling this way and ignored my feelings.“ you admit and he smiles.

“i’ve liked you for years, i was just scared you’d never feel the same way. i just wanted female attention to replace how i felt about you. i didn’t wanna ruin our friendship.”

“i love you ethan. so much. please let me love you, the way you deserve it.” you say as he pulls you into his chest.

“thank you y/n. god, i love you so fucking much.” he replies lifting your chin with two fingers and bringing your lips back to his, the two of you now more inseparable than before.

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards imagine #ethan edwards fluff #ethan edwards x reader #umich imagine #umich hockey #umich boys #turcs’ talk

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d4rkdi0rrr · 1 day

Note

First off I just want to say I LOVED you’re other Leo x reader writing 😭

Could you write a sort of enemies (they just argue a lot lol) to friends to lovers with Leo on the Argo. Like maybe he’s blasting country music like 24/7 while he works and the reader hates it (sorry to any country music lovers lmao). Or like the reader is one room down from him and she just hears the power tools going all night. And maybe the reader ticks him off too because she like keeps breaking her weapons, or starts playing loud music to retaliate idk. But then one day they are paired together for night patrol or cleaning duty. Leo’s like “dude why do you hate me so much??” and the readers like “who said I hate you??

(Sorry if this is long I’m horrible at explaining things lol 😭)

he hates me, he hates me not

(im glad you liked the leo x reader fic and thank u sm for this request! it was a little rushed so i apologise in advance but it was rlly fun to write <3)

leo valdez x fem!reader

cw: arguing, enemies to friends to lovers, swearing, reader cabin not specified, not proof read

_______

Leo Valdez was infuriating to say the least.

You had agreed to join the quest, thinking that you and Leo could become good friends. What was there to dislike? He could be funny (at times), cared about his friends and had a nice face (something you would never admit out loud). But boy were you wrong. He held some sort of personal vendetta against you, ticking you off on purpose, making your life a literal living hell. You had no idea why he hated you so much.

"Maybe he likes you," Piper giggled, fanning her freshly painted nails. You two, along with Hazel and Annabeth were in Piper's room, having a girl's night.

"Me and Percy were like that before we got together too, y'know," Annabeth agreed, grabbing a cookie from the box that was sat beside your position on the bed.

"Oh please," you scoffed. "You guys know how much he pisses me off. It's too bad he has such a pretty face - oh shit." Realising what you'd said out loud, you immediately covered your face with your hands. "Please forget what I just said."

"Aww, someone's got a crush!" Squealed Hazel, throwing a pillow at you, "we are never letting you live this down."

You rolled your eyes at her. Just as you were about to grab the last cookie, the door flew open, along with the sweaty grime-covered bane of your existence.

"Pipes, have you seen Buford? He ran off with my tool belt. Are those cookies?" He reached an arm out towards the cookie box faster than the speed lightning, and before you could stop him, he'd taken the last cookie. Darn it. He looked around the room before his gaze fell upon you, to which he wrinkled up his face. "I wasn't aware that we let aliens in on this ship."

"Fuck off, Valdez," you grumbled. You weren't in the mood to argue with him right now. He'd taken the last damn cookie and now your evening was ruined. "Says the abominable fuck face. Buford isn't here. Go away before I punch your face in."

"Alright, alright, good night to y'all." Leo winked before saying, "except for you, Y/N, of course." You threw a pillow at the closing door.

_______

It was currently 1 am on the Argo, and Leo had been tinkering away in his room beside you. To be honest, the occasional sounds of the metal clinking and clattering was quite relaxing. It was the loud country music blasting, making you want to crawl under your bed and stuff cotton in your ears that was truly insufferable.

You weren't about to let go of the absolutely appetizing thought of sleep escape you, so naturally, you got up and knocked loudly on Leo's door.

"Come in!" you heard over the loud music. You entered his room and looked around, disgusted. The ground was absolutely trashed and looked like the equivalent of a war zone. "Oh, it's you."

"Can you please turn this horrible music down?" you tried to yell over the obnoxious music. "I'm trying to sleep."

"No can do!" he yelled back. "It helps me concentrate. Get out of my room!"

You huffed (which Leo thought was absolutely adorable) and slammed the door closed.

Back in your own cabin, you accepted the fact that you were going to wake up looking like a sleep deprived rat. However, maybe you were hallucinating or delusional but you swear you heard the volume lower before drifting off to sleep.

_______

"Not you again," you groaned as you saw the first locks of Leo's curly hair from the top of the ladder. "I thought I was on duty with Frank."

"We're stuck with each other I guess," Leo shrugged cheerfully, plopping down next to you. The night breeze was cooling on your face and you felt like the main character in a movie as the wind gently kissed your hair. For once, you actually didn't mind his presence. Then: "Dude, why do you hate me so much?"

"Hmm?" you hummed, unsure of where he was going with this. "What do you mean? I don't hate you."

"We can't stand each other!" Leo protested. "I'm always insulting you, and you're always insulting me back. This is probably the most civil conversation we've ever had!"

You were starting to feel defensive. Wasn't he the one that'd always started tormenting you? You'd only wanted to get back at him for everything he'd done to you. "You start all of it though! I wanted to be friends with you but you just wouldn't let me! I tried, Leo, I did but you were just so infuriating with your jabs and pretty face and pretty everything and- "

"Wait, you think I'm pretty?" Leo looked starstruck by your words. He was gazing at you with the softest look on his face. "Can I tell you something?" You nodded. "I acted like I hated you because you were too beautiful, definitely way out of my league. I'm so sorry."

You grew flustered at the sudden proximity between the two of you.

"Can I kiss you?" He breathed softly.

"Okay."

He leaned forwards and placed a hand around the back of your head, the other finding yours and intertwining your fingers together. His lips were slightly chapped against yours but you felt like you were in heaven.

Breaking apart with a small giggle, you mustered up your courage and asked, "Can we do that again?"

#leo valdez #pjo x reader #hoo #enemies to lovers #leo valdez x reader #pjo #all da ladies luv leo

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madebyrolo · 7 hours

Text

Kegger

short fluff

She/her

obx master list

»»——————-««

As soon as Rafe puts the jeep in park you immediately jump from the passenger seat. You are eager and excited to get to the beach for the first party of the season.

Giving a quick kiss on the cheek to your boyfriend, you a beer and met up with your friends.

“So we were planning on going down to the Florida keys this spring break” Natalie said as you guys sat by the bond fire

“Ooh yeah we’re getting a airbnb, my daddy’s paying for us!!” Amber said

“Oh sweet! I’m down” Sarah said

“Yeah I need a break from all these dogs here. I want to find myself a Florida man, maybe a Cuban ” Natalia said tilting down her glasses

“Y/n are you going?” Grace asked

“How can I say no to the keys-”

“no she can’t” a deep voice interrupted you

“Ugh Rafe go away” Sarah groans

“Please stay….” Amber joked biting her lip

“Uh.. anyways please go Rafe” Sarah tried shoeing her brother away

“You interrupting girl talk, we’re planning a spring break trip!” Natalie said

“Yeah I heard. Y/n can’t go sorry!” Rafe said as picked up by the arm

“Rafe stop!” You tried swatting his arm away

“See you later girls !!” He sang walking away from the group

“Rafe seriously! This isn’t over !” Sarah yelled off into the distance

As you were in Rafes arms now that he scooped you up bridal style he was walking back to the car.

“I don’t understand why you had to take me away” you complained

“Because you didn’t need to be in the conversation”

“Yes I do, we’re planing a girls trip!” You hit his chest

“Well knowing who the girls are in the girls trip you’re gonna come back with more regrets and mistakes than I have.” He said sternly

“Who knows maybe even a baby daddy” he said under his breath.

“RAFE!”

“Im not letting you run off to Florida and stay in a house full of girls who can’t even cook an egg. Bet you guys won’t even remember to lock the door.” He argues

“I wanted to go, Sarah’s gonna be there anyways. She’s younger than me and besides I should be there like chaperoning her. You know, your sister?” You try pleading with the blonde

“Well first of all you’re like a year older and second of all it’s Sarah. I couldn’t give more of a shit.”

“But you my princess, I wouldn’t let a thing hurt you”

———————

*not edited

#ᯓ★ madebyrolo #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #drew starkey #soft rafe cameron #jealous rafe #rafe smut

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sugdenlovesdingle · 18 hours

Text

Seven Sentence Sunday (times two!)

thanks for the tag @sznofthesticks @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @welcometololaland

As usual I have way too many fics on the go and i need motivation and inspiration to actually finish some of them sometime this century... so here's two snippets from two fics

---

Nancy/Marjan

"Come home with me after shift."

"What? Are you sure?"

Marjan nodded, looking down at their joint hands for a moment before meeting Nancy's eyes again.

"Never been more sure. I just... I want to be with you... I want to wake up next to you tomorrow, I want to find out what you're like first thing in the morning, I want to know what you like for breakfast... I just want you."

"You have me." Nancy promised. "I've kind of had a thing for you since the first time you walked through those doors downstairs and announced you were here to see Owen Strand. I'm not letting you go now."

"Really?" Marjan asked. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes but at the same time it thrilled her to know Nancy had liked her for that long.

"Yeah. You were all confident and badass... and beautiful." Nancy leaned down to kiss her.

They were usually more careful when they were at work, and maybe it was the nice weather they'd been having, the fact that Marjan had pulled off another ridiculously risky stunt but was fine, the two days off they had coming up, or maybe it was just that they were still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and just wanted to kiss each other every chance they got, but they let themselves get lost in the kiss and completely forgot where they were.

Until the door opened and someone walked in.

"Woah, shit, sorry! I didn't see anything!" Paul announced loudly, covering his eyes as the two women jumped apart.

"Paul! What are you doing here?!" Marjan hissed.

"I just wanted to gather my stuff so I won't have to do it when shift is over. But clearly you're busy in here so I'll just..." he trailed off and felt around for the door handle.

----

Buck/Tommy

(technically Buck & his firefam but - details)

“Morning. What are we talking about, mister... Kinard…” Eddie trailed off. “Are you two becoming one of those couples now? Is Tommy walking around with Buckley on his back?”

Buck grinned and raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

“No. Nope. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” Eddie warned him quickly, holding up his hand as if that would stop Buck from talking.

“I mean… he’s probably still in bed… so he’s not wearing much of anything right now.” Buck grinned and sat down at the table next to Hen while Eddie groaned and muttered something under his breath about never being friends with couples.

“Did you know?” Hen asked Eddie when he joined them at the table.

“Know what?”

Hen grabbed Buck’s left hand and showed Eddie his ring.

“You asked him? I thought you wanted to wait until the party?”

“Yeah… but then I picked him up from work last week… and I just couldn’t wait.” Buck smiled. “When you know, you know, right?”

“Hmm.” Eddie agreed as he focused on his coffee.

“So you knew?” Hen asked again.

“Yeah. I helped him pick out the ring.” Eddie shrugged. “And when I say helped I mean apologised to the woman in the store who had to show him every ring they had at least twice, before he eventually bought the first one she'd shown him. He's banned from the place for life now." he joked. "I didn’t know he was going to propose now though.”

---

tagging @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @oldfangirl81 @your-catfish-friend

@chicgeekgirl89 @lemonlyman-dotcom @sanjuwrites + open tag for whoever wants to share something

#911 lone star #911 abc #bucktommy #marjan x nancy #marjan marwani #nancy gillian #tag games #seven sentence sunday #my writing

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soracities · 3 days

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Me and my gf of 4 years broke up recently and the last few months, as things got worse, I was writing really well. You know that Siken tweet about the vocabulary of loss being the dictionary? But now that we've finally broken up I cant write anything.

I've always used writing to process things - I need to write stuff, to sound it out, to see if thats how I feel. I don't know what's going on. I assume I'm just not feeling my feelings but I don't know how to do it.

I'm sure I'll be fine, this is not an SOS, but do you have any tips? It feels like Im stuck and its frustrating.

Love ur blog and your kind words, stay safe, have fun, X

I'm really, really sorry about your breakup anon, and I'm sorry too that you're going through such a frustrating an difficult time in the wake of it all. Someone asked about writer's block a while back which I answered here, though I don't know how much of it will help in this particular situation.

I think it's interesting that you make a distinction between processing your feelings and actually feeling them--why are they different? do you think you're removed from your feelings when you're writing to process them? And if so, is writing in order to process something actually putting you in touch with the real, raw emotion or simply breaking it down without fully acknowledging and being present with those feelings?

I ask because I'm also someone who needs to write and sound my feelings out sometimes, but I've found I'm also someone who runs a deep risk of intellectualising my feelings when I do write about them--writing, even when processing, happens at a distance for me and in some ways I've found it's more an escape than a confrontation; my feelings, when I write about them (and I rarely do it because of this, and other reasons), turn into a narrative that circumvents the simple acknowledgement of "x happened. I feel y," and moving on. I'm not saying that this is you, but as someone who often has difficulty feeling my feelings, even through personal writing, it may be worth asking if your writing, much as it helps you process, might also be a way of avoiding a necessary confrontation with your emotions and just sitting with them, before writing about them. As I said, feeling my feelings is something I struggle with, but a dear friend shared this chart which has done wonders for me, so maybe it can help you, too (I hope)

I think it's also important to acknowledge that 4 years is a long, long time to be with someone and then no longer be with them. And if things, as you said, were particularly bad in the past few months before it happened, it could simply be that you, your mind, needs a period of stillness and recovery to full come to terms with what has happened. You have to let the reality of it all settle in, and maybe you cannot write as you used to right now because that settling hasn't fully happened yet; some things don't need to be analysed in the moment--they simply need an acknowledgement and that alone is enough to give some breathing space. I don't know if any of this will help you, anon, but I sincerely hope you can take something from it. I hope in time you are able to come back to yourself in the healthiest way for you 💗

#ask #Anonymous #notes from elsewhere #please ignore the reddit mens lib thing

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bluebellhairpin · 9 months

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As a certified Australian with an accent, I want to share an accent I think is above all others in terms of attractiveness. Scottish accents. I don't care if you think it's silly but I saw a video of a Scottish man reading aloud and the things I would do to hear it again is unimaginable. It has always been this way for me.

#bc Australian accents dont sound like anything. at all. ever. so i dont understand how it can be hot or sexy yk #but scottish accents are above all others #im comparason #and im sorry to all my friends here who come from there #american accents are the worst #im sorry but theres almost always zero rizz there and that isnt your fault #nemos thoughts

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serenedash · 10 months

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I love thinking about daily life in Daybreak Town and I'm gonna put a read more for my own sanity here LOL feel free to add your headcanons about Daybreak Town :]

one thing I really like thinking about is what quests/missions and raid hour was like for wielders since khux loved to make game mechanics actually Mean Something lore-wise. If you never played khux, raid hour was twice a day (11am and 11pm in my time zone) where powerful enemies would appear called raid bosses and you and your party could take them on solo or together

So like. Daily missions/quests are really only mentioned briefly in actual cut scenes (off the top of my head, Ephemera mentions it to Player that it would be suspicious if they were gone too long because it would look like they were slacking, Strelitzia also is shocked that Lauriam basically gets all of his missions done before noon) but I imagine that daily missions take up most of the day for wielders (again, another gameplay mechanic where you earned in game currency for doing things). And you know obviously we get to see lots of wielders around during the day, we get to see our character and others going to bed at the end of the day, and when Player waits for Ephemera at the fountain we see how no one is around at night,

I've seen a lot of discussions about night time in Daybreak Town, headcanons about how there are wielders that only do their missions at night, how darkness is more potent and there are more heartless (I especially love when people point out the night sky would be pitch black since the worlds are still one world so there would be no sky, only adding to the darkness at night). But back to raid hour!! I like to think about wielders getting their daily missions done and going back home to relax/nap/whatever and then when raid hour happens the clock tower rings and its like the empty streets suddenly fill with people, wielders meeting up with their parties or people going for the solo boss fights, and they all go ham until the bosses disappear and everyone goes back to bed. In the khx novel chirithy says that the clock tower only rings at "special times" but never elaborates so I like to think raid hour counts lol

for other daily life things tho, I've always had this headcanon that since the unions were formed (or maybe since the master of masters took on apprentices,) wielders just flocked to Daybreak Town and kinda. basically drove out the original people in Daybreak Town so its literally like a town run by kids (and moogles) and I like to think there's a good amount of kids/teens running little shops like there's that one part of Daybreak Town that's like a street market and I just know those were all run by like 15 year olds (also you can't convince me that 18 is like the oldest people get in Daybreak Town bc the game makes it SO SO SO CLEAR that wielders die CONSTANTLY and its VERY NORMALIZED) but anyway yeah some wielders not really doing their wielder stuff and instead just running businesses because you can't tell me there's moogles for Everything,

I've also had some very clear ideas about how parties work like since day one of unchained x, I like to think party leaders have get togethers to discuss what's happening in town or in their union and each union has their own like. Office I guess? for party leaders to gather and I always liked to imagine the leaders going there in the morning for reports of where strong heartless are or orders from their union leader yknow (idk in my head its like a post office, go to your little mailbox and get your stuff)

I don't have anything else those are my random disjointed thoughts👍

#im kinda tired sorry if this didn't flow well #but hopefully all my ideas are coming across lmao #sliding in my demyx somebody headcanon here of him fucking off to just play music in the fountain square all day #he's the daybraek town equivalent of that one guy at every college who sits outside playing guitar #irt the business thing- some friends and I have fun talking about our key kids running a deli together in town thats where that came from #khux #kh #kingdom hearts #headcanons #foretellers #chirithy #player #khux essay #im rambling

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waterfallofspace · 4 months

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A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

#waterfalltalks #waterfallrambles #more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha #been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious???#idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life #or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling #but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again #i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care #it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that #if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored #anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~#using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself!#gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!!#just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~#thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3 #i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333 #not snz

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mig15faggot · 1 month

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i got the best and worst booster box ever i pulled three blue eyes. but this was pokemon and it was the fucking duck. quaxlys evolution. i got a bunch of everything cause its a booster box but i pulled three quaquavals. i did it like an advent calendar with my friend. we opened maybe five packs the day we bought it and restrained ourselves for a month and had a pack a day it was so fun pulling these!

the third quaquaval was the rare one but not the gold one and i was so mad lmao it was the second last pack. forreal! and my pulls other than the full art wooper (lets fucking gooo) were shit i wanted a clodsire! i pulled one buying three packs a few days later no big deal lmao but i was so mad at this box.

the last pack had the rare tinkaton. i also got a full art boss's orders too im so happy it was such a funny fucking box in the end i pulled three fucking blue eyes i swear if i saw a fourth quaquaval too early i mightve actually ripped it in half. my problem is I LOST THEM ON THE FUCKING BUS AND LIKE MY WALLET ITS FATE IS WITH THE HUMANS OF OTTAWA AND THE FUCKERS AT OC TRANSPO THAT I TRUST SO MUCH FUCK MY LIFE

#either way people are finding cool shit no wonder they wont give me my shit back youre all thieves and im a dipshit i left my wallet behind #and my three fucking blue eyes #sorry new york joey wheeler wake the fuck up #dont come to my town with your red eyes black dragon early GRIMA. AMERICA. CALIFORNIA. IM TALKING TO NY HERE #mitski lady lamb st vincent anyone #torres is already too involved lmao go check out HUG FROM A DINOSAUR #sound of the summer of 2022 #go talk to torres shes almost done touring in texas i think #ramadan is almost over #i dont wanna check back in at the fucking psych ward to hang out with the actual king of canada lol #he keeps saluting everyone theyll never let him out and he wont drop the king shit for a whole year if he needs to #hes so doomed this king of afghanistan and canada. this afghan guy stuck in ottawa and he knew he was a prince for a while lmao #I DONT NEED TO GO FIST BUMP HIM MORE AT THE PSYCH WARD LMAO I KNOW I NEED TO SHOW HIM SUBTLETY WITH THE DRS BUT HOLY SHIT LMAO #montfort let my people goo. one day more?? les mis crowd??? someone give alison a fucking nightmare already #im friends with someone who played lead on american idiot for a uottawa production idk if you went to see that but that was buddy lol #hes in toronto now all the actors and serious people move to mtl and toronto whats our problem with the crown anyway?? mary simon??#put a ring on it??#im the exhalt and i have a nice big freckle where the ring goes i swear to god

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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cant do it anymore sorry, unfollowed literally everyone except for a very VERY small handful of blogs, mostly ppl i know irl or im very close to like on priv or something. i will still post but it's Just Me jfhdk there's probably not gonna be any new art reblogs or anything... just reminiscing on old stuff, i cant deal with the new stuff anymore

i did keep all the smplive blogs in my following tho on the off chance someone decides to come crawling back lmao

#chat #i also kept one (1) buddy who i've been following for way too long #i dont even know your name but you're such an integral part of the dash for me #so you might get art from them if it comes across my dash. assuming i dont cave and unfollow them too #ugh everything is just. too much. i get way too mad way too easily. i HAVE to step back #this is officially the skyblock and the rambling zone. there's nothing left. sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#hey watch this *throws away my chances at keeping any friends here*#i do recognize that im the problem. no one is doing anything WRONG necessarily #the littlest things just keep ticking me off. even if it's ccs i dont watch or anything #like i know the issues is ME and MY discomforts. not anyone else really. but it makes me wanna block everyone kjfgdh it's so bad #getting mad at them for still being able to have fun amidst all this. very normal 👍#hhhhhh #grief cw #??#idk man

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pepprs · 11 months

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misery despair suffering etc etc

#purrs #delete later #two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before #but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought #of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t #text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or #whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i #wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was #more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me #and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who #you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have #all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry #to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post #that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to /#for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to #stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone #reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a #and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be #kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there #to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and #hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to #again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it #and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing.#idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to #post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want #anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual #people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try.#actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first

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cornerihaunt · 7 months

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oh you guys i had a Bad Day

#im on vacation but all i’ve done is stress about how i will pay for this #nono i am literally borrowing money from my best friend and i’m feeling so bad about it #i should’ve like. not come #i hate being poor so much #also fuck this country and no one giving me a job this is so messed up #ok i’m done complaining #and i’m going to be indebted to my friends who are paying #and i’m literally gonna feel this for the next two months probably #haha i love being abroad and doing exchanges in expensive countries #the thing is i wanna experience the most i can while i’m here #but oh my godddd #also my parents were like oh yeah sure we’re gonna support you #and they are! but oh my god i feel so bad about it and asking for money for a VACATION?????????#also my mom makes me feel so bad about it #my dad is chiller #but no yeah i passed the whole day fucking anguishing about my debts #anyone wanna donate??? haha #ok sorry for this #rambles

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g00ngala · 1 year

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i swear i have tmnt opinions yall are not ready for

#hannah.txt #it might not be on here but at least on tiktok theres this like feud between rise fans and 2012 fans right #and its like. i get it if you dont want to call rottmnt your favorite tmnt adaptation. but like 2012? really lol?#specifically people saying its better than rise and its like thats insane to me im sorry #if you want to say the 2003 version is better than rise then you know what? sure absolutely. 2003 goes hard. but like 2012?#to set the record straight i like tmnt 2012 i enjoy it. but not because it is good lmao. writing wise it is an absolute trainwreck #however its an extremely funny trainwreck and it has bits of salvageable characters and arcs #and its like #i dont want to be one of those new fans hating on the old shit or whatever because i really am not #but speaking as someone who is watching through all 3 shows. 2012 is bad and by bad i mean like inconsistent. extremely inconsistent #and like to sit there and say rise is worse than 2012 with your full chest is some unbelievable nostalgia blindness #i luv the 2012 characters and the show is hysterical however a goof 50% it is hysterical on accident and not on purpose #sometimes these 'old fans' (a little funny bc they're obsessed with what was the newest tv show before rise)#are so obsessed with familiar that any break from that is so mind shattering to ttem that they hate it #and heres the thing 2012 is not a wholely bad show i think it is an extremely 2012 show + the writing is misogynistic and not thought out #its just like idk. im not that heated about it i think its just really funny #how dedicated some people are to defending the show with an inc//est plotline and the worst romantic subplots ever #like. are you allowed to like it despite its flaws? 100% . like i said i like it a lot despite my criticisms #but like saying its better than rise or 2003 for that matter... come on now. face reality my friend. be honest w urself #ok rant over LMFAO

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arthur-r · 8 months

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genuinely how does someone succeed in college when you’re so terrified of being incorrect or looking stupid that you can’t even say anything to begin with???? i was trying to go into this year brave and everything but i’ve already been laughed at multiple times by a class full of people older and scarier than me and i already feel like i’m being judged and underestimated for so many reasons that i don’t want to give anyone another reason to look at me that way. but it’s gotten to the point (in the less than one week that classes have been in session; maybe it’s always been at the point) where i’m failing to submit assignments because i know that my teacher is going to see it and think i’m stupid, and never listen to me again, and i’m going to lose all the credibility that i’m trying so desperately to hold onto. and i know from a logical standpoint that it’s the teacher’s job to meet people where they’re at and lift them up from there, but honestly is that much even true anymore?? isn’t college about figuring out who has what it takes and who is going to get left behind???? why did i enroll in fucking honors classes of course i can’t do this???? i’m really not feeling well and i stayed in tonight and missed dinner and i miss home and i miss being able to talk to my friends and not be actively ruining my future. i feel like i’m always good until i’m not, and i don’t realize i need help until i’m too far in and by the time i get it, i won’t need it anymore but i’ll have ruined everything back when things were worse. i’m isolating from my roommate (who hates me because he thinks i hate him) and losing every friend i’ve started to make at the same time as i’m losing all the real friendships that i already have. and my roommate is across the room right now as i’m quietly fucking crying. and i want to go home and i want to be safe. and why is everything so unfamiliar and simple and wretchedly complicated.

#im really not feeling well. i want to go home and im not used to that at all #i miss my little sister. i miss my teachers and i miss my friends. im not used to this #what prompted all of this: i was trying to do my linguistics homework and i made it about an hour in coming up with faulty hypotheses #and i realized that far of the way through. that the only dialects i’m fucking familiar with are all fucking variations of north central #‘whoa somebody talks similar in anchorage as they do in taylor’s falls?? it must signify a deep linguistic thread traceable over generations #they’re just both right next to fucking canada???? of course they fucking sound similar???? the fact that i don’t know anyone from the east #or the south and even the people i know in the west are still the same fucking thing we all talk the fucking same #i know village english that’s a little fucking interesting but it’s not like i have any INSIGHT i don’t KNOW anything!!!!#told my french teacher i’m learning latin he asked me if it’s fucking ecclesiastical because once you’re in college it’s just normal i guess #i just feel like. yes i’m here because some part of me stood out from my peers. but in this group of special people?? i’m nothing!!!!#so i’m really struggling. and i want a hug and i wish things were different. i want to be here but i don’t feel like i deserve it #and i’m not going to get anything done if i keep feeling like this #i dont know. i hope everyone is doing well. sorry for the extra stress it’s just really difficult and strange #i hope everyone has a good night - i’m heading to bed soon #me. my post. mine.#friends only #vent cw #delete later #and everyone here speaks fcuking MANDARIN or something and all of a sudden my five years of french feels fucking basic.#kids who have been in advanced programs since birth. the imposter syndrome is fucking PALPABLE!!!! i want to go home and i want to forget #okay i’m done. im done!!!! everything is fine. hope everyone is well

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