#and its stifling me

[freakurodani]

indescribable frustration

#sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #hq!! #haikyu!! #haikyuu!! #karasuno #conspiracy lvl: art #i just wanted do DRAW smth #want to be okay posting looser stuff #stuff that isn't perfect #bc i cant get in the headspace for finished rn #and its stifling me #bleh im just rambling

[theartthatleavesthemark]

this post probably exists out there somewhere but. you know the book la galatea? the one Flint leaves for Miranda in 2x3? uhh well it was written by Cervantes the man most well known for creating the patron saint of lost causes (don quixote) but that isnt even the most insane part this book was a collection of pastoral poems loosely wedged into a narrative now, what were these poems about you may ask? well, pastoral stories for those of you who do not know are about love specifically they are about overpowering love making people do insane things and many of these stories in this book end either in tragedy or very ambiguously. essentially the love was there but it didnt change the ending. now the frame these tales are set in? well, THAT is the story of two gentleman, one of noble birth named Elicio and one of low birth who is nonetheless quite well-spoken named Erastro (sound familiar?) who are both in love with the same woman (the titular galatea). they agree that their shared love will never interfere with their friendship. now if you, like me, are throwing objects at the walls at this point, wait for the best part: la galatea is UNFINISHED. Cervantes wrote only part 1 and IN DON QUIXOTE there is a scene in which part one is BURNED and a character comments that it will never be any good without a second half. which he never wrote.

#cervantes was a racist bastard who wrote in the most stifling prose known to man but he knew the power of stories and the power of belief #and steinberg took one look at that and said here's an easter egg for all you early modern literature fanatics out there #its about love not being enough! its about the idealization of one individual (galatea is miranda is thomas is silver is flint is madi) #its about the story can't end! its about the story is a lost cause and the story lives on #mutilated #in another story which becomes canon! #its about i will love you whether you want me to or not and even if it kills me and beyond the capacity of the narrative to encompass #black sails #la galatea

[zer0point5ive]

lawrence and amanda should bring adam back wrong i think .. get real weird and abomination against god with it and bring him back as some sort of fragile fucked up deadalive guy who freaks out about not having a heartbeat. or something

#he is Not one of the creatures god wanted to save. But alas ! #amanda nd lawrence specifically because it would fuck w each relationship in a crazy way #adam yells at lawrence for it ah yes the classic ‘you shouldnt have brought me back im still dead its all your fault’ moment #this is in my brain entirely because i rewatched torchwood adam is so dead man walking dont get me started #adam whos already dead nd will not be alive again but also cant die again but is so fragile because broken bones wont heal etc #insane about it or whatever #lawrence constantly stifling him because he doesnt want adam broken beyond repair. a doctor in love w a guy who cant be fixed what the hell #saw #adam faulkner stanheight #📹

[dennisboobs]

.

#the reason cisswap lesbian macden does nothing for me is bc i get my dose of lesbianism from canon charden <3 #i say it (jokingly) all the time but i think if the sunny fandom was more open to charden y'all would have more fun #everything ppl do with macden to make it ~more fun~ is literally. already there with charden #macden is a lot of fun in its own way but if i want butch/femme lesbians i have charden already-- #this is literally why i ship both. if i want to fuck around with gender i can throw charden together #if i want to fuck around with weird codependent loser roommates i can throw macden together #they have different dynamics and both bring different shit to the table #also idk such a massive part of dennis is his (often unapologetic but still stifled) more 'feminine' gender expression #so making him a cis woman who likes being feminine is like. yea. that sure is. cis woman dennis. #as someone who has an extremely complicated history w expressing femininity or anything that is even seen as being remotely femme #it doesn't grab me #the genderfuckery is not there #but TRANSBIAN CHARDEN???? YEAAAAAH #i think mac being so focused on upholding traditional mascilinity IS a very interesting dynamic to have next to. you know. dennis. #wheras charlie could not give less of a fuck #i think gender exploration with macden would take a completely different form but still be extremely interesting for both of them #but there's a lot less initial acceptance and a lot more hiding on den's part #especially if the two are in a relationship #because mac coming to terms with being gay took so long so dennis being at all feminine or even transfem is like #mac needs to do. more introspection #which is an entirely different set of issues to charden gender exploration where like #charlie being nonconforming. not shaving. not caring abt using she/her pronouns. being nontraditional in every way and not giving a fuck #would be absolutely fucking absurd to dennis who is very conformist after she comes out #and would probably be content to conform to whats expected of her as a woman with mac IF she did manage to come out at all #bc dennis would have to actually manage to come out. instead of hiding the fact she's trans > looking at carmen and the way mac treated her #i think both paths have additional challenges and that's. you know. whats interesting. #is cisswap den butchy? does she hide her masculine interests? is denise transmasc...?? #cisswap mac being butch is like. you know. nonconforming so it doesn't quite do the same thing as canon mac either #mac being Traditional and catholic and having to push past homophobia (internalized and externalized) to be himself is. pretty huge #would cisswap mac be a tradwife. like. thats sort of the equivalent

[tethered-heartstrings]

coming to the realization this sprain isn't one of those "heal in a week or two :) teehee <33" and might be in fact one of those "buckleup buttercup, this is a 6+ week recovery, yer in it for the long haul"

#never sprained anything before and stifling the violence in me is a full-time job #delete later #the speaking clown #i dont have even 6 weeks. i need to be On My Feet in 2.5 weeks fuuuuck #note to others. dont let gravity make you its bitch #at least it isnt broken but maybe that would be better idk tendons dont like healing

[dropespeon]

god. god. sasasap. ogd

#drop #feeling immensely nostalgic for pre isat release days... i only got into it in like mid 2023 and never participated in the fandom #but it was so fun to theorize #and sasasap brings out a very Particular kind of illness within me. #isat is obv the better game and i love it (obviously) but every time i think about sasasap for just 1 second i explode. #just. auuuogh. i love the atmosphere of it. i love how you can tell there were things before the loops but it doesn't feel like it #i love how you're just. thrown into it. you're not ready. you're never ready. #i really love how sasasap (though probably unintentionally) tells its story by Not telling you things #and only doing offhand mentions when it does. because it doesn't matter to this siffrin #like... the way the ability to choose where they loop back is mentioned vaguely once #and again!!@!! thw fuckig atmosphere!!! #it's so stifling!!!! you feel so trapped!!! everything feels so small!!!!! #and with things like the unskippable dialogue (like it or hate it) it really all just feels so miserable to get through. in a good way #and the lack of guidance. it's nowhere near as obvious in sasasap if you're doing a certain route #and there's so many rooms you just can't go in. you don't even know what's in them #and siffrin probably doesn't either. all they remember is that they marked that off for the sake of walking to their death a little bit #faster #just. auogh. sasasap. god

[whumpshaped]

made my first ever banana bread and its so tasty so ig u could say today is abt to be another amazing day

#IM CREATING SO MUCH #WRITING DRAWING CROCHETING COOKING BAKING #ITS ALMOST LIKE ACADEMY STIFLES ALL INSPIRATION AND WILL TO LIVE #i'll shut up abt uni i swear #this banana bread will shut me up lol #food #food pics #nurtureshaped

[ma-39]

for what it's worth, i am trying to get past it. fighting past a massive mountain of shame / guilt for feeling affections for others (believing its disgusting, my love is something no one wants and is honestly kind of gross to people) because i do want people to know if i love them. unfortunately i still find myself cutting out parts of messages i leave to those i love because i just... do not have good memories of when i was even more verbally affectionate. at all.

#☆ new message ! #a bit ashamed that those i love will - at least for now - get a very stifled version of me #something about being ignored time and time and time and time again when you bare your soul to people feels very ... shameful. #its not about reciprocation but when you can feel people just thinking god i wish he'd shut the fuck up and go back to leaving me alone... #it's hard to rewire your brain after that

[ardate]

.

#protests #france #just me rambling #i'm getting real tired of those posts being like ''in the US we cant protest like the french do cuz we get violently repressed'' #it is undeniable!! i am not arguing with the fact your riots got stifled very violently. it fucking sucks #but we ALSO do!! The french government literally got denounced by the UN for its use of weapons and ultra-violence against protesters #just a couple days ago there was a huge protest against an installation that would ruin us ecologically #in a continuation to the pension protests #the cops fired 4000 grenades in two hours. #several of those aimed directly at protestors. which is illegal and very dangerous and can KILL #40 heavily wounded. two people are between life and death. #someone lost an eye. a journalist got hit by a grenade in the leg and is gonna be out of work for 2 months. #one is still in a coma. it's been five days. he might die. #it took two hours for the ambulance to get there for him cuz it got blocked by the cops. which is extremely illegal. but they're cops. #and this is one protest but it's like that all the time #last week a woman got her thumb torn off by a grenade shot directly at her #there literally is a recurring joke among cops about 'losing hands' cuz of the sheer amount of ppl who got theirs torn off like this #i sympathize with americans your cops are fucking nightmares. #but so are ours. we get beaten up and mangled and killed. but we're still out there #stop pretending we only riot the way we do cuz we have it easy. i'm legit going to kick your ass #i didn't distribute eye drops to my fellow teargassed protestors last week in my tiny ass city to be told we play on easy mode #anyway. grabbing my medic kit and going out to protest again in an hour. what will You do?

[lagaans]

picked up the viscount who loved me from the library only 4 days ago and its rocking my world i have to say also i'm already more than halfway done with it

#i do love that i saw the show first bc then i get to imagine brown kate and edwina and my brain finds it mostly not that hard to ignore all #the blonde blue eyed descriptions. for kate its kind of depends on the scrne but whatever that aside yeah it slaps. i may consider reading #the first one and see if its also enjoyable for me but mostly this is fulfilling the hole left when the s2 kanthony cut person deleted their #post w the google drive folder :/ #oh and the fact that im speedrunning this is comforting me like i really haven't lost my inner child avid reader she's just stifled by our #evil ​fast paced american capitalist lifestyle

[orcelito]

The longer I spend in trigun fandom the more sure I am that it makes me happier than p5 fandom. Like I vaguely thought about making a discord for fans of my p5 fic but did away with the thought bc I did NOT want to deal with all the bullshit of interacting with the fandom so directly

But I've had a trigun server for 2 months now and I like it a lot actually. It's so nice! I love my server a lot!

And genuinely, trigun fandom is not without its faults. I get skeeved out so much by That entire part of the fandom, but I've generally made it manageable by blocking anyone who makes me see that shit in the tags :p. Within my pairing of choice, it's almost peaceful! Still not without fault, but most of the worst shit I generally see is bad mischaracterization. It's nothing like the worst shit I've seen with akeshu fandom.

So like. Vashwood vs akeshu. I love both pairings very much. But holy fucking SHIT vashwood fandom is so much more tolerable than akeshu fandom. Oh my Fucking god. Yeah there's some very good reason aside from general hyperfocus stuff as to why I've been playing around with trigun so much more than p5 lol

#speculation nation #i love p5 🥰 the fandom makes me want to invest in hot pokers tho #sometimes the things you love have severely awful fandoms and you just have to live with it #this isnt me saying im abandoning my p5 fics btw. i will be continuing them eventually. #but. my wish to interact with the fandom is as close to 0 as it can be #i will keep my treasured mutuals and maybe chat with Them. bc i know theyre not like THAT #more participation in the fandom is unnecessary 🥰 #which is honestly wild considering how enthusiastically ive been putting out post after post for 3gun #i love doing manga analysis. if general p5 fans even look at me though im swinging #and thats... why i spent years with my blog hidden. i only opened it up again when i switched fandoms. #TURNS OUTTTTT its not actually great for u to hate so much of the fandom ur participating in. who knew. #im less stifled now and i enjoy that. thanks vw nation for being at least marginally less awful than aksh nation. Heart!

[paging-possum]

Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes? #I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think. #I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. #but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling. #I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

[yooniesim]

If you harass someone over their bachelor challenge in the sims 4 for having "favoritism and bias" you are a straight up unserious loser

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #delete later #negative #and u can quote me on that one #let me be controversial for a sec #even if there is bias #WHO TF CARES #its their game #and im gonna hurt your feelings but #some contestants just have better chemistry with the bachelor than others #gameplay being random is fun in concept but #the sims is freaking stupid #and in concept #it being random is NOT LIKE THE ACTUAL BACHELOR AT ALL #you think the man is sitting there like oh yeah better make this equal for every single person #nah theyre trying to find out who best matches them personally which involves bias #(we're pretending the bachelor is real and not scripted lol) #the randomness aspect can sometimes be fun but its also stifling bc the sims gameplay is boring and not as good at stories as say sims 2 was #its not gonna be as interesting naturally #like i did a bc entirely random and you know what happened #NONE of them were interested in my bachelor at all lmfao bc the game just decided it #and it ruined it and thats dumb #but anyway just let people enjoy things and do what they want #you joyless losers

[definitelynotshouting]

would we just be adding wigs to the watcher worms or /lh

WKDBQKDNQKSNWKDNWJSKDNSKSKSN

OKAY THE IDEA OF A HUNGER AU WATCHER IN A GIANT WIG IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME. WATCHER IN MIKU COSPLAY WHEN

#shouting speaks #asks #HOWLING AT THISS #hunger au #I MEAN. IF U WANTED TO DO A SILLY WATCHER IN A WIG I WOULD LAUGH LIKE A HYENA #THW WORLD IS UR OYSTER GO HAM #but i'll be making a like. proper post abt this in a bit that will outline rules ig??? or more like ''heres what the general bauplan is'' #''have fun go ham be creative'' #i dont wanna stifle anybody's creativity so its gonna have some room for liberties the og design might not fully cover #basically i jsyt want ppl to have fun thats whats most important to me #txt

[moe-broey]

Bitchass page that wouldn't photograph well unless if I physically removed it from my sketchbook 🙄 (also didn't like how it cropped when I tried splitting it up 😔)

Anyways this is a prelude to the other post! Also maybe a bit of a test run as I've been working on Moe a lot as like, a character in and of itself.

#fire emblem #anyways. unstoppable force (openly emotional guy who can't help it so doesn't even bother stifling it it'll pass when it passes) #meets immovable object (guy who is and wants to be emotionally repressed so so sooo bad it hurts) #trying to make moe not seem like a cutesy love interest also i hate that shit‼️‼️‼️ atleast for me. #its more of a creature. who's just some guy. who's doing it wrong. #if the 'that makes no goddamn sense. compells me though' meme was a guy was a stray you may be inclined to scoop up and take home. #hopefully that's something i'm capturing/will be able to capture in the future too 🫡 #fe lif #moe tag #summoner oc #my art #feh

[harryswinks]

really really sick of some fans blaming everything solely on the players and saying conte’s innocent. look at newcastle, fulham, brentford, brighton. player for player they have worse squads than us and yet newcastle are smashing it and are in the top 4, the others are playing fucking good football and are in the top half of the table when usually you wouldn’t be surprised to see them in the in the bottom half. the difference? actually being coached well and managers playing to the players strengths instead of playing systems that don’t fucking suit them. the way we set up and play is on conte

#you can not tell me that sonny has just become shit over the summer conte's systems fucking stifling him #as much as emersons not been good its because he's not a fucking wingback he's a traditional fullback he is a DEFENDER #the only one who has perhaps gone to shit over night is hugo and i mean. one mistake can ruin a keeper and i fear that villa one has #but conte should be getting more out of the rest of them and actually i dont think we should backing or begging a manager to stay who cant #get more out of this current group #and that’s not to say sometimes individual players can’t do more but when it’s every single one of them? #there’s a bigger problem at play #stacey speaks