#want to be okay posting looser stuff

[freakurodani]

indescribable frustration

#sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #hq!! #haikyu!! #haikyuu!! #karasuno #conspiracy lvl: art #i just wanted do DRAW smth #want to be okay posting looser stuff #stuff that isn't perfect #bc i cant get in the headspace for finished rn #and its stifling me #bleh im just rambling

[yonch]

it's been 15 years and you can see better than ever

(design notes under the cut) (there are spoilers)

ok this got really long. here you go

sif:

ditched the cloak. it was collecting dust in their closet until recently, but they realized they don't need to cling to their grief so much anymore. someone else will need it more soon.

ditched the eyepatch. the prosthetic eye is a labor of love designed by isa, as is literally everything else they're wearing.

they cut their bangs finally and started braiding their hair back so it wouldn't obscure their vision as much anymore.

they like darker/tighter clothing and prefer function over form but unfortunately their gay ass boyfriend keeps treating them like a dress up doll so they're stuck wearing waistcoats and a fancy cloak. (they don't mind. it's designed to look like loop.) they keep flowers in their many pockets to give to people.

they're a woodworker in their free time. they don't usually talk about being any sort of savior so he just becomes sif the guy who's really good at carving birthday presents for people and also tags along with isa to charity parties and fundraisers

41 year old 5'1" they/he absolutely zero intention of Changing. bonded to isabeau. they adopted a kid who leo or i might post about some other time i think. her name is estelle.

isa: i'm not taking credit for the design that's by my friend @fembard /@leoweooo. i'll include his design notes

isa dresses mostly for comfort, he doesn't like wearing stuff that might get stained or ruined when he's dyeing clothes or chasing stelle around in the mud or something, all his fashion sense goes into his handiwork

he Changed a few more times over the 15yrs, eventually settled. picked up she/her pronouns again on the side but was never really able to ditch the name isabeau and he kinda ran out of names anyways...

kept the long hair, kept a few inches in height, very happy to fulfill the role of male (space) wife

can't ditch the kimono jacket it's the piece de resistance. odile influence and Wisening Of Age means its made with a little more knowledge of ka buan technique but still very clearly an Isa Design. the fabric is imported silk sif!!!!!!

39 year old Tall with a capital T he/she "i swear i'm not a weeaboo i'm just really into ka buan fashion" vaugardian indie clothing designer in your area help support this man in his attempts to use his family members as living advertisements for his brand

mira: with design input from @jastertown thank you my friend

i took a lot of inspiration for the sparkly, sheer fabric on her dress from euphrasie. she's not head housemaiden yet because she doesn't feel like she's ready but everybody knows it'll be her

speaking of inspiration. she's been taking a lot of fashion cues from a certain lady in dormont that she thought was kind of scary, but it turns out she's very nice? they're besties now.

she got rid of the earrings for a little bit but then she realized she just liked how they look on her. so now they go ding ding! it's for her and nobody else, and that's how she likes it.

moved her ornaments to her skirt because they ding ding more often there. her necklace also jingles with merriment.

38 year old she/her advanced cisgender+ legend who's realizing that people are trying to get her to be the pope but all she really wants to do is write yaoibait fiction that looks like it came straight off of ao3

odile:

my glorious hag. she started shrinking about 3 years ago. all those years of bending over books has finally caught up to her. her hips are fuuuuuucked. but she has a sick cane that sif carved for her so everything's okay

she was already pretty comfortable and settled in her sense of style when she was nearing 50 so i don't think she would change much. darker clothing maybe. ditched the high-waisted pants for some looser slacks.

she's started writing a familytale of her own. the only person she's told about it is bonbon, who caught her up way past their bedtime, and scribbled all over one of the pages. she'll pass it on to sif when the time's right, after she's written down everything she can remember about their family.

64 year old she/her wasian researcher recovering from hernia surgery who's getting really into things like "political activism" and "body craft law reformation in ka bue" and "making sure people aren't sourcing their hrt from back alleys"

bonnie:

prefers to go by boniface these days. it's cooler. more mature. please stop calling me bonbon that's a nickname from when i was 10 guys c'mon guys ugh fine frin you can still call me bonbon but not around my girlfriends ok (nobody calls them boniface except for odile)

speaking of which they have 3 butch lesbian girlfriends. this got established as a joke but i think they have it in them. they're still young!!!!!!! they should be at the club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they traveled for a while with everybody but eventually settled down back in bambouche to start a little family owned restaurant with nille featuring dishes from all over the globe. people travel from all over to get a taste of boniface's good eats... bambouche is bustling. (they have a few recipes that are sourced from the country. they meet people every once in a while who find something achingly familiar about it, and they usually direct those people to jouvente to get in contact with frin.)

26 year old they/them "i dont know how tall i am but i'm taller than za" chef cooker whose restaurant keeps lighting on fire because this time i swear nille i can figure out how to do cooking craft i swear i wont explode the kitchen this time please i promise

loop:

ok. this is where lozy gets to just talk about what he thinks happens post game. i think they stick around for way longer than they really should and follow the crew around on their travels (mostly invisibly) because they're sooo fucking scared of change they're sooo scared and they're so scared of their wish fucking up beyond belief. they're kind of incapable of aging or dying in this body and theyre like permanently 26 which is what spurs them to finally move on.

i think they go back to their timeline eventually after making a Brand New Wish to "go back to their real family." alas the universe leads and we can only follow. and it turns out loop has actually made a real family in stardust's world also. this is my justification for why they can pop in between sasasap and isat worlds without much repercussion. i think they're always permanently loop shaped in isat but i imagine they can probably go back to their original body in their home timeline... might design that later. who knows. i'm fucked like that

i just think they deserve a chance for their own happy ending you know. isat's a game about how it's never too late to communicate and how you shouldn't punish yourself forever and ever. and i think theyve punished themself enough you know.

ok tank you for reading if you read this far. it's really big and long so i would understand if you didn't. but i hope you liked it. thoughts appreciated. here's a little something for the people who read all the way through.

#isat #in stars and time #siffrin #siffrin isat #isafrin #isat game #postgame isat #loop #isabeau #mirabelle #odile #bonnie #boniface #spoilers are only under the read more #my drawings #etoile tag

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

Fit for a King - WIP - random scene#1

loosly connected scenes so far: Fit for a King - Masterlist

König and FMC are on a break after the last mission and they use the time to lock themselves into a hotel room to f*ck each other’s brains out

CW: pure smut, 18+ NSFW, butt stuff, switch dynamic

a/n: I wrote a lot today, so I'm gonna post some more

(NSFW below)

“Your ass makes me forget about the bad stuff.”, he says quietly and even if I can’t see it, I can hear the little smile in his voice. I turn to him. “What did you just say?” He giggles and grabs my ass again. “Your ass makes me forget the bad stuff.”, he repeats, this time with a dirty undertone. His hand moves over my cheeks until it reaches in between them. “Sometimes it’s the only thing I can think about, how it looks when I fuck you from behind.” His fingers gather some of the wetness still pooling between my thighs and inch upwards. “Making me think how it would look bouncing on my dick.” One of his fingers pushes inside me as his other hand closes around my throat. I gasp as he whispers into my ear: “If you could even take my cock in your ass.” Arousal floods me as his dirty words register in my brain and he adds another finger, slowly starting to finger-fuck me and stretch me. “Or if you would just be too fucking tiny, squeezing me.”, he adds, his crazy gremlin voice seeping through the dirty talk. My mouth falls open because it just got harder to breathe, which has nothing to do with his fingers around my throat.

He repositions me, pressing me into the mattress as he continues to stuff me with his fingers, my ass up in the air. “Fuck… König.”, I stutter as he adds a third finger. “Yes, Liebes*?”, he chuckles as he kneels behind me. “Did you want to say something?” But I can only gasp for air in between the little mewls and moans. “You sound so good.”, he grunts as he keeps stretching me out.

“You think, you’re ready for me?”, he asks and the way his voice gets all gravelly and rough, like he needs to hold back, drives me crazy. “I- I don’t know.”, I answer truthfully, trying to hold on to the bit of sanity in the back of my head, but the imagination of him fucking me like this…

He flips me again, his fingers gone all of a sudden and I whimper at the loss of fullness. He leans down until his face is just an inch in front of mine. His arms are caging me in as his bodyweight pushes me into the mattress. “We don’t need to do it, Mauserl**.”, he says softly. “I’m sorry, I got carried away.”, he apologizes as he places small kisses all over my face and neck. I grab him, hold his face in my hands. “Don’t be. It was…” I pause. “I…” He’s just looking at me and his gaze is swallowing me up, patient, waiting. One of these days the whiplash of being with him is going to be the death of me.

“I wanna do it, I’m just a bit scared.”, I tell him. “You’re a big guy.” He chuckles, and I can see the smile reaching his eyes. “You say such nice things.”, he says, booping my nose. “We can take it slower.” He sits back on his knees and positions himself at my entrance, pushing just the tiniest bit. “I can just take it slow.”, he says again. “Okay.”, I nod. My knees drop to the side to give him better access and he takes this as a chance to stroke over my wetness, circling my clit with his fingers as he keeps on pushing inside me.

I pant and let the sensations carry me away. His dick in my ass and his fingers working my pussy, getting me wetter and looser for him. “Oh yes, just like that.”, I moan as he starts to roll his hips, making him move inside me just a bit.

“Just so you know, this is requiring all of my restraint.”, he grunts, hoarse desperation lacing his words. I reach for him, my hand skimming over the strained ab muscles. “You’re doing so well.”, I tell him, softly whispering, and I feel him shudder. This is intoxicating and I want to do it again. “Fuck, don’t do that to me now.”, he almost whimpers, the soft sounds sending shivers down my spine. “Doing what?”, I ask innocently, letting the moans his movements cause just fall from my lips. “You feel so good in my ass.”, I continue and I swear, the desperate whine from his throat almost makes me lose my mind as well. “Taking it slow, just for me.” I look up at him and his gaze is already on me, hyperfocus on my face, taking in every single one of my sighs and moans as he’s finally seated deep inside me. That’s when I go in for the kill.

My fingers move up his torso as he slowly starts to move his hips, still holding back, little pearls of sweat starting to form on his muscled body. My hand reaches his chin and I hold onto the last coherent thought in my mind that is not yet taken over from the pure arousal of having him fuck me like this. “Thank you for taking it slow for me, like a good boy.”, I tell him in the sweetest voice. “Fuck…”, is all he mutters as his eyes roll back and his body trembles. “You’re killing me.” His eyes are on me again, all glazy, but there is a fever behind them. “I’m gonna make you pay for that next time.”, he tells me, mischief mixing into the desperate pleading. “Promise?”, I ask him. “Promise.”

His hand moves up my body and closes around my throat. “Now let me fuck you until you come on my dick, Prinzessin***.” His lips find mine and he kisses me while his hips find a slow, but steady pace. It doesn’t take much until I lose control, because all the prep had me worked up like crazy. His tongue strokes against mine and I can’t do anything but hold onto him, completely losing myself in him. His fingers slip inside my pussy and the feeling of being stuffed by him like this sends me over the edge. I come on his dick, incoherent rambling falling from my lips as he fucks me through the orgasm.

“So beautiful.”, he tells me biting my lip and then pulling away. I lift up my head, not being able to move anything else. “Don’t you wanna come as well?”, I ask him, surprised. His hand shoots up to scratch the back of his head as he sits back on his knees and the blushy tint on his cheeks gets redder. “I-“ He’s embarrassed. “I already came inside you when you called me…” He’s all mumbly and shy. “A good boy.” I cover my mouth with my fingers, not to let him see my giggle, but he knows. He spanks my ass. “Don’t laugh, brat!”, he scolds me, but I can see him smiling underneath the playful scowl.

“You’re so cute.”, I tell him and he stills for a second. “I don’t think anybody ever called me cute.”, he says, a somber expression on his face. The corner of his mouth tips up and I can see gremlin König coming out to play. “Especially after ass-fucking them.” I swat his arm, shock on my expression. “You brute!” He just laughs and gets up. “Come on, let’s get your cute Popscherl**** under the shower.” He grabs my ankle and pulls me to the edge of the bed to just pick me up. “Caveman…”, I mutter under my breath as he slings me over his shoulder like I weigh nothing. He just laughs again. A light and hearty sound.

*Liebes: 'my love' **Mauserl: more austrian version of small mouse ***Prinzessin: 'princess' ****Popscherl: endearing austrian word for ass, similar to 'tushie'

#könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig x fmc #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut

[11queensupreme11]

Remember when you showed us Mizuhime's style? (I'd send the link, but I can't) can you do it for Percy too please???

i know which post you're talking about and i'd love to do it for percy too!!!

first off, just know that percy has a more fluid sense of style (get it get it? fluid? cuz she's a water type 😃). she doesn't really stick to a style or two. she dresses however she wants.

if she wants to dress girly, she'll do it. skater girl style? yup! street style??? sure! need her to put on an evening gown with elbow-length gloves and high heels? okay! her mom bought her a cute blue blazer that's more for a professional setting than a casual day out? she doesn't care, she'll wear it! 😌 as long as she doesn't look like a complete mess, she does not care. our girl is not picky about clothes

here's percy's casual. her style is literally just whichever she wants to wear for that day:

here's percy's typical quest outfits. it's a little similar to casual, but she's more particular about it. IF she was given the chance to pack her clothes (because sometimes this poor girl just gets yeeted into them with no warning/prep), she would pick out shorts and looser pants like jogging/sweat pants, and not fucking SKIN TIGHT SKINNY JEANS. if it were cold, she'd get a warm jacket/coat, but one that gives her enough mobility to run and move around. stuff like that:

the sort of stuff she wears in ror verse! it's all fantastical and majestic looking for obvious reasons. very very very elegant and beautiful, usually accessorized with pearls and other precious gems:

lastly, her swimwear! cuz duh, daughter of poseidon:

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

[chipped-chimera]

Today in fish nonsense! 🐟🐠- Tank is good to go! Cool wood piece is cleaned and time to spend way too long on a plan painting.

More below the cut.

Tank has been set up, leak tested so it's good to go (after I overhauled the layout of my office ... still dealing with the fallout of that though lol) and the piece of jarrah/mirra? wood that my Dad grabbed from the tree he cut down on a farm (noting this specifically because it's actually now illegal to commercially harvest Jarrah in my state - this was on private property so it's legal) has had the absolute crap scrubbed out of it - I mean literally, in the process I found yet another interesting hole in it so that's cool, then high-pressure blasted with water so I am finally ready to think about scaping.

Which apparently means spending longer than I should drawing a plan lol. This piece is super awkward to work with I think - while functionally interesting it has a silhouette that makes me oscillate between 'boring' and 'awkward'. After talking to some artist friends, generally it was agreed I'd need to put more stuff in there to actually make it look better, right now naked glass is super harsh. Problem is, rocks and wood? Well in the aquarium hobby that shit is expensive. We're talking 60 AUD+ for pieces of wood. I mean they are fully cleaned and treated (?) and selected for being interesting, but I have a budget and I'd like to save as much of it as I can for more than just harscape sooooo planning is just the right idea here.

Thinking seiryu stone because I looooove the white veining through it, and then for the branches to break up the shape it's probably going to be spiderwood or something (as much as I love mopani wood I don't think it usually sells branched like this - but I will watch out for it) but the good part is these pieces are all probably going to be on the smaller side since I have my huge hunk of feature wood for free.

I don't know how this piece of wood will interact with inhabitants, I've soaked it for probably a month at this point to get a large amount of the tannins out (and I know it waterlogs, which is great because I won't have to play 'how long will this take to sink') but also to help the looser material come off so all I'm left with now is the hard stuff. It's also now sitting in the sun (and I mean sun - it is going to be 40C today and the next few days so that shit is gonna bake 💀) but prior to that has been sitting in the sun either here or the farm for a total of about idk ... at least a month? Maybe more?

I've struggled to find information on whether Jarrah or Mirra wood is safe beyond one post on a forum where someone-who-knew-someone at a local fish shop had put a piece of this in his store tank and all the fish died. Beyond that? no more context. According to my freshwater ecologist friend I caught up with, she thinks it's probably going to be okay given the amount of time/work put in. I have not done a bleach soak and I don't think I really need to given the amount of time it's been soaking in regular tap water (so already contains chlorine) and sun exposure. There will still probably be tannin leakage into the water but I'm okay with having a mild blackwater tank after seeing one in my LFS, I actually like the slight tannin tint of water and how it makes everything a little 'softer'. But I do ACTUALLY want to be able to see though lmao. I've also seen Jarrah seed pods sold locally specifically for blackwater tank setups so it might be fine?

Either way the plan is going to be: Scape, plant, cycle and then introduction of some cheap shrimp as my poor guinea pigs to see if that wood actually is awful.

Right now I'll just have to painstakingly go through plant choices and placement and making sure it lines up with the planned parameters for the community. I absolutely will take suggestions btw.

More soon. Fish nonsense will contain fish ... at some point. I swear lmao.

#kerytalk #aquablr #fishblr #my art #I guess even though this is a grossly overconfident doodle #aquascaping #yes that is a sandpit for enrichment #though I'm debating corydoras #I worry tetras + corydoras might be too much schooling happening for the eventual last edition - Betta fish #if not then it'll be tetras + one pleco #... I swear I saw a video of a pleco thoroughly enjoying burrowing in sand - I'd love that #yes all of this is primarily because I want a betta #but if I only get one tank ... go hard or go home right? #ngl considering getting a small 5-10 gallon for my bedroom for shrimp breeding so that could be a feasible second plan #in case the betta is an asshole #do not tell my parents lmao #I'd love a male in the tank but know it's probably not going to work so female is more likely - or at least plakat type #it's got quite a bit of height to traverse so I don't think anything with super big fins would be great - especially with age #even if I basically have a stepped up network of holes in this wood right to where it nearly touches the surface

[glorious-poetato]

I have a request.Imagine waking up on Christmas morning with Tommy wearing matching pajamas and just spending the day together cooking, opening presents, watching holiday movies stuff like that.I don’t know I think thats adorable

[Christmas in July]

Warnings: none I'm aware of. Let me know if I forgot something

Ship: tommyinnit x reader

Summary: Tommy surprised the reader with a christmas In july celebration

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I open my eyes. My vision is still fuzzy adjusting to the light, but I hear music playing. Is that Christmas music, I think to myself. It's July. I mean, who would be playing Christmas music right now.

I then look to my side and see and empty space next to me. That's weird. I think to myself, Tommy is never up this early. Confused, I finally decided I should probably get out of bed.

My feet hit the cold ground, and I dragged myself to the living room. As I get closer, the music gets louder. That's when I walk into the living room and see a small tree in the corner presents scattered under and decorations covering our walls. I was distracted by everything around me that I jumped when I felt arms snake around my waist.

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to scare you," Tommy said to me. "It's okay....but what is all of this," I ask while gesturing to the Christmas explosion. "Well, I wanted to surprise you... I know how stressed you've been and I know how much you love Christmas....so I thought we could have a Christmas in july." He explains. You can't help but gleam at your boyfriend. He really went through all this trouble just for you. "Also, I like christmas cookies and was hoping you could make some with me," he tells me, hopeful. I look at him as if I am going to say no and worry flashes through his face, but then I respond, "Of course we're going to make christmas cookies."

He smiles widely at my responses, and I get caught up looking into his eyes. "What are you looking at, looser?" he says jokingly. I smugly respond, "The most amazing boyfriend in the world." He then looks around wildly and frantically says,"Georgenotfound is here!!! Where?" He continues looking around frantically, and I can't help but burst out laughing at his antics.

After we settled down a bit, we put on some classic christmas movies. I sat down on our sofa and snuggled up to Tommy.

I must've fallen back asleep watching the movie because the next thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the last scene of the movie. Tommy came waking into the living room with two cups of hot chocolate.

"How was your nap?," he asked me sweetly. I can't help but smile as he hands me a mug. I then respond, "Wonderful."

He sits down next to me and says, " I have a surprise for you." I look at him curiously."What kind of surprise?" I ask. I then think back to the last time he got me a surprise. I mean, if you want to say a pie being smashed into your face and posted on the internet for millions of people to see a surprise.

He then pulls out a small box that is wrapped under the tree and hands it to me. "I feel bad I didn't get you anything for our Christmas in July celebration." I tell him. He reassures me he didn't want anything besides a day of just me and him. He then hurries me to open the box.

When I see what's inside the box, I look at him shocked. I can't believe he did this. Like he's been sweet all day, and now he's doing this. I'm just sitting completely speechless as I feel tears form I'm my eye. "Tommy, I can't believe you would do this." I tell him while staring in his eyes.

I pick up the first object in the box, and it's a book. It's a scrapbook, to be precise. Opening the book, I see pages full of the memories we've made. After flipping through most of the book, I look in the box and grab the second object. It's a cheap plastic ring but when I saw it I immediately recognized it from our first date. It was the ring Tommy won and given to me.

After thanking him and crying some, he starts begging me to make cookies. Of course I say yes and we move to the kitchen. Me and him spend about an hour and a half making a complete mess of the kitchen and ourselves. In the end, though, we had so amazing Christmas themed cookies.

After enjoying cookies, I went to go clean up the counter while Tommy went to the bathroom to was the floor of his face. Once he came out, I went and did the same.

I then walked back into our living room, and Tommy had pushed all the furniture aside. He then flipped on so classic Christmas music and put a hand out to me, saying, "may I have this dance?" I giggle at his gesture and give him my hand. As we were dancing, I couldn't help but stare into his eyes. When his eyes met mine, it felt like i was in a movie. He then leaned in, giving me a simple kiss whispering, "I love you," as he pulled away. Me and him danced the night away and eventually fell asleep watching more Christmas movies.

Even though it's not technically Christmas, that might have been the best Christmas ever.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

HI, IM SO HAPPY TO BE WRITING AGAIN!!!! Okay so i know I kind of just disappeared randomly but I've been dealing with some stuff and haven't been motivated to write or do anything really but I'm back and I'm going to try and start posting more.

Also, I hope you aren't too mad the I took forever to write it and changed the idea a little. And sorry for any grammer and spelling mistakes as usual.

-poe <3

#mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #fanfic #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit

[loadednachosao3]

Any tips for someone who wants to get better at creative writing?

hoo boy there are a ton I could give! let's see if I can't think of some that might help!

first, read! read, read, read! read things you like, that engage you and make you feel something, and then read writing advice to figure out how to translate what you felt and what you liked into writing that makes someone else feel just as good (or sad, or angry, or whatever, LOL). Stephen King's book On Writing is a solid place to start -- learn from the people who have made writing their lifeblood! go to the library's 800s section and find all the writing tips books you can get your hands on! I STILL read those 19 years into writing!

don't try to edit while you write (small edits are fine so you don't forget them, but don't overdo it). remember: first draft, worst draft! the important part is getting the backbone of the scene down. once that's there, you can mix and match and scramble it up and change words and delete shit and do all sorts of things! I actually enjoy the editing process, since it makes everything come together. don't think "oh, this is so bad, I have to edit so much, I suck." try to frame it as, "damn, look how much writing I did! this is an awesome base to polish up! it's gonna be so rad once I correct these mistakes!"

on that note: there WILL be mistakes. you'll miss plot holes, forget shit, write stuff that doesn't make sense, whatever. beta readers are great for this, since a fresh set of eyes will be able to catch things you didn't. or do what I do: throw caution to the wind, post it, and if someone catches a mistake, say "oops!" and find a way to fix it, retcon it, or ignore it. either 1: you're writing fanfiction or something similar, so it really doesn't matter that much if you fuck up, or 2: you're aiming to be published, and an editor will help spot and fix those things for you anyway. don't let making mistakes discourage you, we all make them!

if you have tropes/character types/plotlines you like, don't let anyone stop you from writing them again and again. you know how many stories Stephen King writes about a writer from Maine with interpersonal issues who goes through supernatural shit? and look where he is! what you WANT to write will always be better than what you THINK people want to read! readers can sense passion. use that to hook them!

it is 100% okay to use your writing to work through things, on that note. encouraged, as a matter of fact! lots of great writers have underlying themes in most/all of their works. depression. substance abuse. daddy issues. optimism. pessimism. worldviews. whatever! doesn't have to be bad, but if it IS bad, writing is a phenomenal way to channel those feelings! don't let any shitty weirdo ever tell you anything else. projecting your emotions onto fictional characters is a very highly recommended therapeutic technique, so use it! (lbr, even if you don't do it consciously, you WILL do it subconsciously. sorry about that)

mmmmmblock out the haters! that is, don't let people tear you down and make you feel like you shouldn't write anymore! no matter your skill level, if you have something to say, something you want to see play out, make it happen. everyone else can suck a duck

figure out a plotting style that works for you. for some, it's a rigid outline with every conversation accounted for. for others, it's a looser one, some ideas and scribbled notes of general directions with the rest to be filled in as you go. for others still (this is mostly my style), you just start writing and see where it takes you. very chaotic, but very fun! I also like to have vivid daydreams sometimes and then just write them down. whether I do that or learn where the scene is going as my fingers are on the keys depends on the day. no method is better or worse, so do what feels right!

jot down inspiration in a notepad or on your phone or whatever's around as it comes to you. could be as simple as "this exchange I heard caught my attention" or "that gravestone has a badass surname I'd love to use for a character," or as complex as "I want to explore the themes of grief and trauma that that other book did, but with my own twist on it." a word. a color. a feeling. keep a list of everything that makes you want to write, and use it later!

if you really hate your first draft, scrap it! if you hate your second, scrap it! if you hate your third... you can always start fresh!!! don't sit around thinking, "aw beans, I couldn't get it right on the first try, I must not be a real writer." not every idea's gonna be a winner, not every scene is gonna work out! you gotta keep on keeping on, though! don't give up even if you hate it!!!

uhhhh that's all I can think of rn... the rest would be more stylistic/grammatical/nitpicky tips, which I CAN give, but maybe in a different post? let me know if you guys would ever like an insight into how I edit my stories with tips like that in mind, and maybe I'll make a lil guide!

but in general, yeah, those are my big, sweeping tips! hope they helped at least a little!

#ask tag #anonymous

[grison-in-space]

Man, sometimes I want to challenge dogblr to Find Three Programs You Like when (serious) arguments about what kinds of dogs are good and which kind are awful come up.

For example, I was totally out there kvetching that Clumbers are the worst several months ago--and then I think it was @fjordfolk ? someone posted a working Clumber screenshot from Crufts and I found out that there's this whole British organization breeding Clumbers that actually look like pretty decent dogs. Not my cup of tea, but I can totally get why they might be just exactly what someone else would LOVE. Here's three breeders whose programs I can seriously respect. Are there things I would like them to do differently or better? Sure. But I like all of them. As a bonus, because the British working people appear to rarely advertise their damn dogs online, all three are North American breeders--ie, exactly the people who DON'T have access to that neat organization. (One is essentially in my back yard, even.)

Okay, but Clumbers are kind of a punchline to dog nerds... but not to anyone else, because they're a very uncommon breed, not one that's aimed at a popular audience. What about doodles? If a friend of mine approached me and said, I want a Labradoodle, medium sized to large, to be my rowdy kid's pet and occasional hiking buddy, what would I say? Where would I point them?

I've never bothered looking for a doodle breeder before, so it took me a minute to find the ALAA (that's the Australian Labradoodle Association of America), which has some pretty great metrics for its breeders and an open studbook allowing purebred Poodle, Cocker, and Labrador outcrosses to boot. They require hip and elbow testing at bare minimum and offer special labels for breeders that also do a wide range of other health testing. Here are a few I liked. And honestly I could have looked for a lot longer; I stopped mostly because this is already getting long, but I found a lot of people doing pretty well.

Doing stuff like this lets me get a quick and dirty sense for what kinds of things are actually happening in breed communities I'm not part of. Turns out it's really easy to find a doodle breeder that health tests out the nose, but harder to find one that does formal temperament evaluations; I picked the ones I did because they emphasize CGCs or therapy dog statuses. That strikes me as pretty common for lapdog and companion oriented breeds, though, and it's not like conformation showing is an option in that community. By contrast, the thing I struggled with on Clumbers was not titling--as far as I can tell pretty much everyone breeding Clumber Spaniels is involved with showing and often, at least in the upper Midwest, also hunting--but emphasis on healthy conformation. I saw a few breeders loudly proclaiming that Clumbers are just built loosely so a certain amount of fair hip sockets are okay (??) and more than a few producing dogs with much looser, droopier eyelids than I like to see.

I think as dog nerds, it's very easy to both be negative about dogs we don't like and also to be wary about praising breeders that seem okay, lest someone come in and tell us that our ethics are loose and our morals impaired. Especially for those of us who work in pet care, also, it's easy to see the most problematic dogs and generalize them to entire groups because a) they're the ones causing issues and are therefore memorable, and b) they're probably being owned by people whose animal care is otherwise problematic, and it's easy to imagine that those people would somehow handle things better if they had a different sort of dog. Unfortunately that is not how humans actually work.

But like I said earlier this week, I like cattle dogs. I can tell you immediately where the problems are in my breed, and what I was looking for two years ago when I started seriously looking at breeders. It's scary for a new person to navigate, especially since people are often really wary of publicly praising breeders because the criticisms come flowing thick and fast. But this is a bad way to treat dog fancy and ethical dog production. For one thing, it plays right into the hands of animal rights activists who think that there's no responsible way to breed dogs, and that way lieth there being no dogs at all for anyone. For another, it makes finding breeders inaccessible to the very same new people you want to find better dogs in the first place! So let's try something different. Let's try practicing finding three good programs before we levy criticisms: if nothing else, the exercise of finding those good problems will tell us a lot more about what is really out there than our assumptions, and it will also tell us what voices need to be boosted to help make those spaces better too.

#dogblr #discourse #doodles

[starlitangels]

Any advice for someone practicing scripts for voice acting and still stumbling and stuttering after a good amount of run throughs?

I want to get clearer and be able to easily run scripts but I have a lot of anxiety even when I’m not trying to record or post it.

-💛

Ohhh... that's a good question. Especially considering I don't usually fully script my stuff. I might script out the beginning for a good introduction, but my usual method of making audios is to outline what I want to cover in the video and then improvise the actual wording. I think I sound very... stilted when I fully script a whole audio. It doesn't sound natural to my own ears, so I try not to script the whole thing

But when I do, I'm usually the one writing it so I usually know how I want it to sound when I say it...

That said, I still f^&* up all the time. Give yourself space and leave to stammer and stutter. It's okay if you do. Hell, it's okay if you do when you're recording. It just means you'll have a good blooper reel lol

And here's what I do when I keep messing up: start slow. Speak slow and clear. Don't worry about making it sound natural yet. Just build the muscle memory of the lines you're saying into your mouth and vocal cords. I do this all the time. Literally one word at a time. I end up sounding like an idiot, but I'm practicing so who cares?

You don't have to memorize your lines, but the better you know them, the better they'll get, leaving your face. So, literally, if you end up "taaalkiiinnnggg liiike thiiiiisss" or "Talking. Like. This." or "t a l k i n g... l i k e... t h i s..." all you're doing is helping your mouth learn what you're saying

Which is ultimately the goal, right?

Start slow and clear. You can over-enunciate your diction. Work your way up to a normal-sounding pace and a natural cadence.

And, if you have to, change the script! Is one specific line turning out to be more difficult to say than you expected? Adjust the wording! Keep the spirit of the message, but simplify the wording. Shorten the sentence. Split a run-on into two. Do what makes it better for you. Change a whole damn paragraph if you can't say it!

At the end of the day, it's that "practice, practice, practice" that teachers like to spout, buuut. It's more "practice, adjust, do what will make this simpler or easier for you"

And give yourself the grace to be okay with your fumbling while you're practicing. We as humans often beat ourselves up for making mistakes. Don't bother with that. It's fine to fumble. There's no consequences to tripping up over a line when you're practicing except to know which lines to practice and where you do well and where you struggle

And if you've got practice anxiety (which also fine!), take deep breaths, do some vocal warmups if you need to. I personally like to make my vocal warmups silly so that I make myself laugh because it takes the edge off. If I laugh at myself, I find my recording environment to be much easier and looser. (Also vocal warmups are just good in general depending on your character. I happen to be a cisgender girl who naturally has a bit of a lower, gravelly voice. Especially when I just wake up. Which is great for a character like Hazel—I never do warmups before voicing Hazel early in the morning because I want that quality to my voice—but not as great for, say, Celeste. I try to give Celeste a smoother, higher-pitched voice than Hazel. More in my normal register. Hazel I deliberately talk as low as I can—which is not very low haha. Doesn't always work but that's my intention. And giving Celeste a smoother, normal-pitched voice doesn't always work either. But warming up my voice before I do a Celeste video helps me be less gravelly or low. It helps me sound more awake than I am. The warmups just help for some characters)

Best of luck!

#answered #Echo ♥️

[deldeldel90]

3, 5, and 6? (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

3: all time favorite pairing: Isolee (Isolde x leelathae) ofc!! <33 

5: favorite platonic pairing: Lance & Blaine as of the current!!! aahstsjshsh can't stop posting about them,, they are so perfect and they just make my Brain EXPLODE. rant incoming but 

Blaine and Lance just have That Something to them, that contrast, that shared past, that angst and that comfort and just—can you imagine having an ally in the constant competition for your father’s love (for your own safety), having a baby brother to protect and care for, and you've never. Can you imagine being ripped from your mother's arms, and the air of your kingdom is so much colder than the womb, and then suddenly—a year later, you're one, you're one and your father has only held you once, one is such a lonely number—you’re joined by this cooing ray of sunshine? You're warm for the first time in your life. He wears blue, you wear red. You feel so much bigger than him, so much older. He's so loud, so talkative, so hyperactive—at first, you don't understand it. You're a brother, but, more importantly, you're his brother. “Every king needs a knight,” your father whispered to you when you were seven and he was six. He was five, before. You agree, but you can't ever see Lance being the one protecting you—it’s too dangerous out there, you've seen the gladiator battles Father has you go to. In your mind, he's still six when you turn eight. He's still six when you turn sixteen and are deemed old enough to pose shirtless in those tabloid magazines. He is not an enemy, not when he's distracting you from piano lessons or sneaking you away for an extra cookie. Can you imagine? 

Can you imagine being born into a family without love? You don't get why Mom doesn't let you hug her, or why Dad has you stuck in a room with people too big, talking in those condescending voices as they point to letters. You want to run, and you do—you run, you fence. You're really good at fencing. You want the people you love to smile. You never know why they don't—you’re happy, your grin always hurts, so wide it dimples your cheeks. Mom smiled at you during dinner, once! Blaine’s smiled at you, in that half-sacronic tired way, more times you can count. (You're not good at counting.) You wear blue, he wears red. Brothers, you think, as you follow him into Academy, wearing your uniform looser than his. He's the student body president, you copy off the answers of last night’s homework from your buddy and Blaine sniffs, but, hey, he tells you about how Mr. Dovecote is particularly partial to students who bring him those fancy chocolates from the Gingerbread Man’s Catchin’ candy shop in the local town. You read this picture book, once—Andre said it was a graphic novel—about these two skeleton brothers with red and blue. You think they're just like him and you. You like hanging with your friends more than your studies, you don't like to read that boring Shakesphere stuff, you learned to do keg stands at sixteen years old. His nose wrinkles in disdain when you told him that, but he never told Dad about it. You admire him and tease him at the same time. He's your brother, you'll follow him into the end of the earth but that doesn't mean you won't laugh your ass off the second he trips on a pebble. You are second-born, raised by Blaine’s watchful eye and the people around you’s guiding hands, and you're raised to believe yourself capable. Your brother is wary around your father and that means you can't kick your feet under the table, you can't be a second late. Over the years, you learn why he's so scared. Sometimes, you don't know why he protected you for so long. But you know. You know, even with your dumb all-muscle brain. Can you imagine? 

6: favorite headcanon: oohhh I have so many headcanons 😭😭 okay but My Favorite would be that Isolde was definitely in a band. you can't tell me she wasn't, and she was DEFINITELY a guitar player. 

#thank you for your ask!!! #akdyamsj #brainrot #cursed princess club #fandom asks

[pbandjesse]

I am very disappointed that it did not snow and was just very very cold and raining. I saw mom post on Facebook that they got some snow. I am very jealous. But it is okay. I had a nice day despite the weather.

I slept better. I slept in until 9 and felt pretty good. I missed James but I was glad they made it to work before the rain started in earnest. And I was able to get up and feel fine. I was cold but I was doing good. I got washed and dressed and made the bed.

I had little vegan sausage balls for breakfast. They are fine. I think they would be better in the oven rather then the microwave but it was fine. I put the dishes away from the dishwasher and decided to organize the freezer. Now all the vegetarian options are on the bottom and everything else is on top. I had wanted to do more organizing today but I was to cold.

I would do some work on my fish tanks. And spent time with sweetp. I pulled my ice skates out and made sure they had what I needed. A towel and such.

I called my dad and we talked for a half hour. It was nice to talk about the house and the stuff we have done this week and

I finished reading one of my books. I enjoyed listening to the icy rain outside. I was not feeling amazing. My allergies acting up really really bad. I took medicine and tried to keep reading. But I felt very bad. It was after noon and I would have to leave here at 240 to meet with Celia. But I decided I am should rest.

I slept for about an hour and my allergies felt a lot better after sleeping. I am glad I did that because I think I would have been miserable.

Because outside was miserable. Just horrible downpour and wind. I had some mozzarella sticks to perk myself up and soon it was time to go!

I drove to Patterson and got there right as the rink was opening. Celia wasn't there yet and I was trying to not be stressed about it but I knew she was probably going slower because of the rain.

I paid my $5 and went to put my skates on for the first time in literally years. My skates need to be sharped but this rink does not have someone to do that. That's okay but I will for sure need that done soon.

I had to put my skates on and try to stretch them and it was so painful??? I was still waiting for Celia but I went and got on the ice to see if they were right and I'm glad I did because it was incredibly painful and very bad. I got off the ice and redid them. Looser in the foot, tighter in the ankle. And it was a lot better.

And very soon Celia was there! She rented skates and was surprised I had my own. She loves to say she unlocks "Jesse lore" but said in this case she was hoping we were both going to be bad. Which is fair but I was encouraging and was like it will be fun.

And I did have fun. Skating is always a blast but also it hurts my entire body. My back and my feet mostly. But I was still having fun. And we skated for a pretty long time! About 40 minutes of solid skating. The ice was very very rough and choppy which made things tough but I was getting my form back. I liked going fast. I did some turns. I did some little spins and some small moves like lunges. I could not do a waltz jump but I could do the step. I am excited that I will be living in walking distance to this rink and I hope I utilize the ice more often even if they have very weird hours.

We got off the ice to get some water. And decided we would go to pasta mista for dinner. We went back on the ice for 15 more minutes and I stayed closer to her this time and gave her some tips about pushing. She got a little frustrated but once she started bending her legs she got a good speed going and it was fun. I had a lot of fun even if I was sore and very sweaty.

I offered to drive us over to get dinner. We had to trudge through the rain and be mad it wasn't snow. But we got to my car and drove over to the shopping center.

I had never been this this pasta place. I don't normally ever get pasta out but since we haven't had a stove we haven't had pasta in forever. So this was exciting. I got cheese ravioli and she got tortellini. We got garlic bread. And we talked about camp and work and travel and it was really nice. We didn't want to stop hanging out but that was hard since it was so gross out. I asked her if she wanted to go to target with me to buy 144 rolls of toilet paper. She said of course. And we got the rest of our food to go.

Target was not busy at all which was nice. I was thrilled to find one of the mini brands life style balls. Not the food one, but the houseware one. After we did a lot of toilet paper math to find the best price and paid for my things. We went to the car and opened the mini brand and it was tiny candles! I will build that at work on Tuesday I think.

I drove Celia back to her car and made she she got in safely. And then I was off. James had just texted me saying they were leaving the football game because their dad was to cold. Absolutely understandable. I asked if they wanted me to come get them but James said they had a ride so I would just see them at home.

I decided to drive past our new house. I am letting myself call it that. It's not ours yet but we are so close. I was surprised how dark the street was. But the next block has string lights so maybe well put some outside ours too. We will see what happens.

When I got back here I went to get the stuff from the back seat. And dropped everything. My water bottle rolled under the car and I could reach and had to use my baseball bat to push it closer and had to kneel in the road and got very wet and was very upset.

I got inside and my hands hurt from the cold. After I put things away I ran a bath. That would warm me up.

James came home as I was finishing cleaning up. I would get out and get cozy in my fleece. James was soaked too and decided to do all the laundry tonight so we wouldn't have wet clothes sitting around. Very smart.

We have been cozy in bed for a while now. I am very tired. I had a good day. And I hope tomorrow is a good and productive day too. I am hoping to do some work in the studio, getting rid of or finding things I can pack. I want to have a productive day. I also just hope the sun comes out.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. I hope you got some snow. I love you all. Goodnight!

[daddyy333]

Recovery | Jamie Campbell Bower x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

Word count: 1.8k

warnings: vivid details and descriptions of eating disorder, negative thoughts about body image, throwing up, reader forcing herself to throw up, reader starving herself, weight loss, weight gain, ?

summary: you think that eating less and getting smaller is going to make Jamie love you more, but little do you know it kills him to know you think that way

“Babe…are you sure you didn’t want any more breakfast?” Jamie asked, you’d eaten maybe 4 bites of just 1 of the three pancakes he gave you, didn’t use your favorite syrup either, and only 2 of the 5 strawberries he gave you were gone, you barely even drank your tea. He was concerned, he’d been noticing this for a few weeks. “I’m just not hungry,” you said and he nodded, sighing softly.

He put the food in a to-go container and offered it to the sweet old lady down the hall. It's what he usually did when you guys had leftovers and stuff like that. When he came back you were in the bathroom, and he could hear the shower, so he left you alone. What he didn’t know was that you weren’t in this shower for the full 20 minutes he thought.

15 minutes was spent hovered over the toilet, forcing your fingers down your throat to make sure this breakfast didn’t cause you to get bigger. You’d been doing this for months, and it was working. You’d been insecure about being a bit chunkier than everyone else since you were a kid, but all of the sudden you felt so guilty about eating you didn’t want to do it anymore.

But when Jamie was around you had to eat something or else he’d be concerned, and you didn’t want him to make you stop. You were finally getting skinnier, you were finally becoming the girlfriend he deserves.

“Bubba! Hurry, we’re gonna be late,” he said, knocking on the bathroom door to make sure you heard him. You said “ok, I’ll be right out” You sighed softly, looking in the full length mirror in the bathroom. Just a few more weeks, you would be perfect.

You came out and he went in to take his shower. You changed into a pair of jeans, pleased with the fact that you genuinely needed a belt to keep these up. You slipped one of Jamie’s t-shirts on and you noticed it was looser than normal. Jamie came in shortly after and got ready.

That was the routine. Every morning, he’d watch you barely eat any kind of breakfast, then instantly go off to the shower and spend more time than he remembered from the earlier months of your relationship. He knew something was up, he knew it.

It finally hit him when you guys spent a week vacationing in the Bahamas, you were being served the most incredible food and he saw you take maybe 5 bites of each meal before claiming you were “full”. He’d noticed how small you’d gotten, how prominent your ribs were and how big the gap between your thighs were.

Your last day of vacation he heard you throwing up and went to check on you, but before he knocked he caught a glimpse of you shoving your fingers down your throat and throwing up more. He then knocked and said “everything okay?” “y-yea, sorry I think I just ate something bad” you said and he bent down behind you, rubbing your back and gathering your hair up.

He got you a cup of water and you brushed your teeth, he was oddly silent but you didn’t pay much attention to it at first. It continued the last few hours of the trip. The plane back home boarded at night and he barely said a word the entire time.

He felt so…frustrated. He should’ve known. He shouldn’t have let it get this bad. How much had you lost? Why were you doing it? Was it because of him? Did he make you feel like you had to? Oh god, it killed him to think this was his fault.

The flight landed and you were asleep so he picked you up, god you were a feather. He was able to keep you asleep for almost the entire time, until you had to grab your bags. He woke you up gently and when you were actually yourself again he set you down and you both carried the bags to the car and got situated.

Normally when he drove he put a hand on your thigh and would find something to talk about. He was just so angry at himself, so upset that you were going through this, he couldn’t do anything but stay quiet and let his worries run through his head a thousand times.

He talked a little once you got home, and then made brunch since it was now 10am the next day. You tried to leave after your 3rd bite but he stopped you. “Y/n, please, for god sakes finish something on that plate” he said and you stared at him like a deer in headlights.

“I-I’m really full, babe. Sorry,” you said and he sighed softly, letting go of your wrist with a shaky breath. “Is everything okay?” You asked as you put everything away for leftovers.

He whimpered, tears filling his eyes as he dropped his fork and ran his hands over his face. “No, y/n, nothings okay, damn it! I know what’s going on, I know what you’re doing and it has to stop” He said as calmly as he could and your heart dropped. He wasn’t talking about that, was he? How could he know? You were so careful.

“What are you talking about?” You asked. Play dumb. Just play dumb, it’s all gonna be fine. He turned around in his seat and said “I know that you’re practically starving yourself and you throw up every bite you eat just to lose weight for some ungodly reason like you need to or something. I can see your bones, y/n, it’s unhealthy and eventually it’s going to kill you, for christ sake”

“Jamie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said and he scoffed. He rolled his eyes and said “I’m not gonna let this continue any longer. You have an eating disorder whether you’d like to admit or not and I swear to god I’m not gonna sit here and watch you wither away. I can’t- I can’t just sit here and watch you kill yourself, y/n. I need you to be healthy, please,” “I am healthy. I’m just skinny that’s all,” you said and he bit his lip, tears spilling down his cheeks.

He shook his head and said “no, no y/n you’re not healthy. You are supposed to have beautiful thick thighs and wide hips and your stomach is supposed to bulge a little when you sit down. That’s your healthy, baby. Your body needs its fuel, it needs it’s nutrition sweetheart. Please, take care of yourself, I beg of you”

“I just- I-I’m just trying to be the perfect girlfriend for you,” you said softly. Jamie’s heart shattered. He took a deep breath and said “skinny is not perfect, sweetheart. I love the way you look, no matter what the scale says. I love that you’re not naturally a small, tiny little skin a bone woman. I knew that you were healthy when you had more weight on you. Now, now you’re risking your life just trying to be smaller, and it’s stressing me out and it’s scaring me y/n. I may not understand what you’re going through but so help me god, I just know that you need someone to help you realize how bad this is for you and it’s gotta be me. I’m with you all the time, I can help you get better”

“I don’t want to be fat again,” you whimpered, looking down at the ground. He let out a shaky breath and said “you were not fat, y/n. You were just a regular woman. Not everyone is meant to have those scarily small waists and thigh gaps. You were meant to have those perfect, pillow soft thick thighs and a little more love on your sides and that’s the woman I fell in love with, remember? I didn’t choose you because I wanted you to be skinny. I chose you because I loved you the way you were”

“You don’t love me anymore?” You asked quietly, tears running down your cheeks. “Of course I still love you, y/n. I love you more than I can handle, which is why I want to help recover” “I don’t wan-wanna be fat again,” you said, sobbing threatening to come out.

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, trying to make you feel better. He knew you were in a fragile state, he knew that the way you were thinking felt genuinely right to you so he wasn’t trying to change it this instant but he needed to at least make you realize that it’s so harmful to you.

It took a lot of effort, so many setbacks, 2 relapses and lots of tears and little small arguments, but it was all worth it because 2 years later , you were healthy and happy again. Granted, you weren’t back to your previous weight yet but that was probably because you started focusing on eating stuff that was healthy and full of vitamins and protein and nutrition and focused on really taking care of your body.

You felt so sorry every day that you scared Jamie like that, that you made him feel the way you did. You knew that this wasn’t about him, but he was your partner, he felt a certain kind of pain too after having to see you go through that.

You ate every meal you could together, and if you couldn’t be together you’d facetime, and if one of you was in a different time zone or whatnot, the other found a snack and ate that instead. He celebrated all your little milestones with you, got you through every bad day and temptation to relapse and held you, cried with you, he was there for all of it.

You decided to redo the trip to the Bahamas, this time with you being happier and healthier. You are whatever you wanted, not caring about if it was good for you or not, you were on vacation and deserved it. Plus, ‘cheat weeks are beneficial to the soul’ as Jamie would say.

You had Jamie take a picture of you in the same spot, in the same pose as you had been in the year before and then decided to post them to social media. You talked about what happened a little, your journey and how much better you were now and how worth it it was.

Jamie was so proud of you, he even ordered you the really expensive dessert you’d been wanting to try. He just felt so lucky to have been able to get you help, and to have you here with him right now. Things could’ve gone seriously wrong last year, and he could’ve lost you. But no, he got lucky enough and now he’s holding you in his arms, whilst you stuffed your face with overpriced cheesecake.

“I’m so proud of you, y/n…you have no idea” he said and you smiled. You sighed softly and said “I couldn’t have done it without you” “sure you could. Stronger than I’ll ever be” he said and kissed your head. You smiled and he stole the bit of cheesecake you had on your fork, making you gasp and giggle.

As of now I’m writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

#stranger things #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #jamie bower x y/n #jamie campbell bower x y/n #jamie bower oneshot #jamie bower x reader #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie campbell bower fanfiction

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thanks, @my-excellent-bicycle, for pointing me to the fact that the Melbourne Comedy Festival, which is happening at the moment, has put up video clips of comedians doing short sets at their galas and things. Here are some of my favourites (by which I mean some by comedians I already know I like, which is the opposite of what you’re supposed to at festivals, as those are supposed to be for taking chances on new things, but I’m going to watch the ones I like first – aside from anything else it’s just a nice way to see what kind of material those comedians are doing at this moment, instead of waiting until their next official recording comes out to find out what direction they’ve gone this year):

Josie Long:

Parenthood material isn’t generally my sort of thing, but no one can begrudge anything delivered that charmingly. Also I like her stuff about lockdown. Also it’s okay, everyone, she’s doing a show she wrote some time ago and doesn’t live in London anymore, that’s why she was showing up last year on Frankie Boyle’s New World Order, filmed in Glasgow. I find it genuinely heartening whenever I heard old Josie Long material about hating London, because I know that unlike that vast majority of stand-up comedy stories and also just all stories, that one’s got a happy ending.

Paul Foot:

It had somehow not occurred to me until I saw this that Paul Foot continued existing after about 2013. Pleased to see he’s still alive and, apparently, has not changed at all. At all - he appears exactly the same, aside from the fact that the pants might be slightly looser. Honestly, if you’re not familiar with Paul Foot and you’re the sort of person who uses Tumblr Dot Com, I highly recommend watching this video because he’d be very popular on this site if it were more widely known that he’s existed since 2013.

Huge Davies:

Solid music parody. Continues to blend cynicism with inventiveness in an entertaining way. I’ve been meaning to watch his stand-up special that came out somewhat recently, I should really do that.

Maisie Adam:

I mean, it’s a good point. It does make me think... well why are you doing it then? It’s weird to me that people still do the “father gives away bride at wedding” thing, but it’s a bit weird to hear someone complain that it’s a shitty tradition while still planning to do the tradition. Just... don’t do that, then. I mean, you can still get married. Just don’t do that part. I mean, people should be allowed to do what they want without judgement, I just find it slightly difficult to get on board with a bit that’s based on pointing out all the reasons why this thing is bad but still wanting to do it. You know you don’t have to, right?

...Sorry, personal thing, I’m always surprised at how many otherwise progressive feminist people I know have gotten married and done the whole “father gives away bride to husband, bride marks this by dropping her last name for her husband’s thing”. How is that a thing most people still do but a few opt out of, instead of only in the hands of staunch traditionalists anymore?

Okay, that’s not the point, it was still funny. This is why marriage and parenthood material doesn’t tend to be my thing.

Leo Reich:

Here you go, everyone: my proof that I’m not biased against all gen Z comedians. I found this really funny.

And that’s the limit to how many videos Tumblr will let me embed in one post, I’ll reblog this to add more.

[hoper-of-farflung-hopes]

Okay, I decided to suck it up and make a blog for this, so I might as well use it. I'm not tagging any of this, so I'm not sure if anyone is ever even going to find and read it, but I wanted to write stuff down to clear my mind and this seemed as good a place for it as any.

This is basically a side blog for alterhuman-related things.

I've identified as broadly alterhuman for a while now, mostly because it felt like less pressure than identifying as otherkin or trying to nail down a specific, more accurate label.

I guess I'll use my first post to try to explain how I am currently conceptualizing my identity.

I see myself in three parts, I guess. Not in a plural way, as different people, but more like three of the same person in the same place and time, but different somehow. Like seeing someone through a prism, or like tapping into the same version of yourself in different realities. I don't know if that makes sense.

In one universe, I'm an autdhd, nonbinary human adult. This is the one most people see, and it's me as much as anything else is.

In another universe, I'm a nature spirit, or something similar which does not have a name and has never needed one. I'm mostly humanoid, I think, with grey feathered wings and curving horns. I have a much looser connection to physical reality than humans do, and can slip into and out of physicality as naturally as breathing. I have a Place, a home I am connected to and protect and nourish. I do not believe I interact much with others like me, but I am not lonely. The place itself is my company, and the creatures within it, and my sense of time is stretched and settled. I am not restless.

In another universe, I'm the Doctor. Mostly like in the show, but not necessarily exactly according to canon. I'm aroace, in all realities, and in places the show stretches thin around this. There are other things too that I think are more obviously the product of creating a piece of entertainment with writers and actors than an accurate reflection of me and my life, but I think it's mostly got the gist of it.

The only universe I have access to is this one, in which I'm living and writing a blog post on Tumblr. But it feels like the others are out there. I don't feel like my alterhuman stuff is past lives, or misplaced souls. It feels more like lives I'm living together, but just can't quite reach. It's not even necessarily in parallel - I think it's more accurate to say that it feels like something outside time.

I'm actually not sure if I favour a spiritual explanation for this or a psychological one. I think it's a bit of both. I think, logically, that it's probably psychological and related to being autistic, but in daily life I mostly end up thinking about it as though it's real, and that means treating it on spiritual terms. I don't know if they have to contradict.

I don't have strong memories of anything happening Elsewhere. I just have impressions and feelings and reactions. My beliefs and identities aren't built on evidence so much as they are the natural result of my experiences, until it made more sense to identify this way than not. It felt like I drifted to and from this conclusion until eventually I reached a tipping point, where I could choose to keep ignoring it or move forward, and I chose the latter.

So here I am. I'm feeling kind of pretentious and poetic today, hence the phrasing, but I'm not always this melodramatic in my writing style. Probably.

I'll probably post here from time to time, when I have something I want to work through, or something I want to get out of my head and into words that can better contain it. I'll probably talk more about being the Doctor than about the nature spirit stuff, because that's the identity that's newer and causing more Complicated Feelings.

I'm not tagging my posts anywhere because I'm not sure what the etiquette is and which tags are appropriate, but if you do somehow stumble across my blog, feel free to interact!

This is a sideblog because I'm very private about these things normally, so if you think you know my main, no you don't.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

so as I was mentioning in a previous post about staying in touch with other people, even those that may not be important... there's this "friend"/neighbor which I haven't been talking to for so long. I could say we lost each other slowly cause of life, and even if she moved back in my neighborhood not long ago, we didn't really got closer again. like, at all. I think we just grew apart, and that's okay: at first it hurt ofc but now I totally accept it.

let me explain.

as I started healing recently, I understood it wasn't just her not considering me that much, but also me having said lot of no's to her (more or less openly), for my own fears (parents' overreaction mostly: I wasn't that aware of this habit of mine back then, so I couldn't speak about it and so she didn't know -but probably got something anyway since she often said how tough to deal with they seemed to be). all this ofc made our bond to just become looser and looser as we moved to uni and she moved to other cities and countries, until it basically became inexistent.

despite having shared the same classes and/or school for most of our lives, we also had different backgrounds/upbringings, different friends (despite some common ones), different habits, different characters (she's always been way more extroverted than me while I used to shy away, even if I often followed her doing weird/funny stuff for others), different lives and goals, different personal problems too... even different views on things especially these days (again, it's fine! we met different people and had different experience since when we used to play and talk together as kids and teens, that too formed us into different human beings). I think we were just different and many times she had been pretending... but ofc, I have no objective proof about this: it could be just my (wounded ego) impression nowadays.

anyway. a couple of months ago she gave birth. ofc she didn't tell me (not even when she got married a couple of years ago to a guy I know as well). I found out by chance after our mothers met, despite having been talking a bit with her hubby in the previous months (he didn't tell me anything about the pregnancy as if it was top-secret). I could have decided this was the last time that she/they closed me off, and honestly at first I felt this way while I was saying "Idc, her/their decision". but talking with an external friend I realized: maybe I could just give her a present for her baby and not make all this and our past matter too much. just see how it goes. we're adults and neighbors now, and that's how I can look at us these days. we can turn the page.

so, even if I felt a bit uncomfortable and part of me didn't feel like (especially for the fact that I wanted to feel as our friendship was definitely closed, and I needed to close with the past abruptly), I texted her asking how she was doing and if she had 5 mins for me to go see her and bring her a little thing for her baby. she replied inviting me for a walk. we went out, both pretending everything was fine and nothing ever happened. we kinda had fun talking about the baby, his quirks, about a neighborhood's problem (as adults do) and remembering a few events of our childhood. I felt more grounded than I thought (despite I couldn't always recall all the words I wanted to say, but I haven't been speaking 1:1 irl for a real lot of time now, except for a few words here and there in specific contexts); she was kinda calm too but I think the pregnancy also made her. she has changed especially in her voice, and it felt weird to see her holding a baby and feeding him. she also asked me to help her with the baby carriage when she had to hold him which ofc I did. and then we went back home after an hour or so, I gave her the gift and we both told each other we could have met for a walk another day (I am kinda sure this won't happen -unless it will be me asking? Idk-, it's just one of those sentences you say out of courtesy, but it felt coherent with how that hour went) and that we'll keep in touch anyway about the neighborhood's problem (more likely?): at the end of the day, I asked about her but she didn't ask anything about me and my life/family anyway, not even when we ended up staying silent for a while (it wasn't uncomfortable for me btw, can't say for her).

once I arrived home I was literally freezing cause the sun was gone and it got pretty cold; I had the feeling she kinda wanted to suddenly run away at that time and find another place to go (maybe, Idk), but I was feeling good. I had a nice interaction, out of all the past context we had been through. it helped me start to get back "out there" again, in a kind of "known" environment (in the end, we still have known each other since ages), to be hugged and hug again (even if it wasn't too felt probably, but it works as practice too heh). and also it reminded me that not everyone has to stay in our life forever and we're not supposed to be in everyone's life forever; and that feelings and bonds can change and evolve in something different as well, if we let them too. they can turn calmer, less profound, and more patient and respectful of each one's new life and boundaries. ofc it's not for everyone, for every relationship: there has to be a *silent* agreement between the parts, at least. not saying I agree with why I wasn't told about the baby or other good news or why I wasn't asked about me out of courtesy even on these terms, but... it was her/their decision and I respect and accept it now. as I will respect their spaces and boundaries from now on without really caring. at all and for real, this time. I know where I stand (and where she stands for me), and that's okay: not because I submissively accept it as her/their decision, but because I understand and agree there's no other way.

this meeting really helped me to see things under a new perspective and actually gave closure, in a way, to my past hurt feelings. differently from how building a wall or cutting cords has ever. now I'll just let things be and really not care much, and treat each other politely as random acquaintances/neighbors. but I can say I really feel much more eager to meet new people, to get out there and test myself after all those years of isolation I put myself in while healing (which made me so rusty and didn't help much, even if I kept talking online at least and learning about boundaries here... but that's not the same). I know now I can bear with that stress, no matter how it'll turn out. I feel stronger and more in touch with myself than ever. it's true: what you make other's decisions and behaviours mean about yourself, only depends on you. I was probably *unconsciously* making it all mean that I was not good enough, not even as an acquaintance/neighbor. but even if it is so according to her/them, I decide to not make it mean anything about my present and actual worth: I have been working on myself so hard and so much that I'm far from being the *scared* girl I used to be in the past and they have no clue about it. and I don't need or want to show them anyway as there's no reason for it. I am closing with the past anyway, whether past people will acknowledge it and come with me in my future or not or in what measure/form they will/won't. it doesn't matter. it only matters what I do and think of my path until today. and what I will decide to do and think about it (and me) from today on.

#healing #relationships #friendship #my story #life #vulnerability #self growth #closure #feelings #words

[unhumanrights]

Store Trek: Halloween to Holiday

Well, I went ahead and did it. I already posted the AO3 listing for it, but just in case you don't do the AO3 thing, here is the first chapter in all its glory. My original document, and what I posted on AO3, used left and right alignments to differentiate who was texting, but I don't know how to do that on Tumblr, so in this post I just labeled each text or group of texts. Read more under the cut!

Summary:

It's Halloween. You know what that means? TIME TO PUT UP THE WINTER HOLIDAY DECORATIONS! That's retail for you, dudes. Carol Freeman, the manager of Storefleet #2380, texts her daughter Beckett Mariner to come in for an overnight shift. Corporate wants those holiday decorations up YESTERDAY. Seriously, they didn't even want to wait until November. Beta shift is their only hope. This is the beginning of Store Trek.

Notes:

Okay, this is my first attempt at an AU. They say write what you know, and I know retail, and I love the show Superstore, so why not use some of its DNA to alter Star Trek Lower Decks according to my whims? Let's see how long I keep this series going. I'll do my best! This is in the form of a text chain, and I tried to format it accordingly. I hope it comes through okay.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Freeman gathers Beta Shift for the Overnighter

[The text chain between Beckett Mariner (Department Lead) and Carol Freeman (store manager of Storefleet #2380), began 8:13 PM on 10/31/20XX, retrieved from Mariner's phone]

Contact: Mom-Ager

Freeman:

Can you come in for an overnight shift  tonight?

Mariner:

Ooh, sorry, can’t. Out of town.

Freeman:

I saw your Instagram post. You’re at  Jennifer’s Halloween party. She lives two blocks from the store.

Mariner:

Fine. Ooh, sorry, can’t. Don't want to.

Freeman:

Beckett.

Let me be clear.

You’re coming in for an overnight shift tonight.

Mariner:

What could we possibly be doing that  needs to be done tonight?

Freeman:

The holiday decorations need to be  put out.

Mariner:

Are you freaking serious? It’s not even November yet.

Freeman:

But it will become November during your shift. Hence why you’re putting out the decorations.

Mariner:

See, this is why I hate the holiday season.

No time to breathe.

You should be able to enter a turkey coma on Thanksgiving, THEN wake up to the holiday crap.

Freeman:

Look, I’m not saying I disagree with the spirit of what you’re saying. It’s not up to me. This is from Corporate.

Mariner:

Can’t someone else do it?

Freeman:

Everyone else who isn’t already coming in is at Halloween parties.

Mariner:

I’M at a Halloween party!

Freeman:

MARINER

You’re a Department Lead now. That  means more responsibility. Sometimes, you’re going to have to leave the party early like an adult.

Mariner:

UGH

FINE

But I’m gonna be wearing my costume

Freeman:

I couldn’t care less what you wear. Shift starts at 11. You’ll have Boimler, Tendi, Rutherford, and T'Lyn with you.

Mariner:

You better be bringing us donuts when you open the store tomorrow. Proper bribery is the least you could do.

Freeman:

We’ll see. You look great in your costume, by the way. Just like Uhura.

Mariner:

Shut up, I know it.

End Notes:

You made it to the end! I'm so proud of you. I originally wrote Mariner's text grammar as much looser, as I think her text style would actually be. She has no time for capitalization and punctuation! She's too busy kicking ass and secretly hanging around the warp core. Even though that makes sense, I changed my mind and just made everything grammatically correct, for the most part. It's just how I prefer it. If you want to imagine a few emojis thrown in there, I won't stop you. A note for the future: I am not completely sure how I'm going to be handling aliens or other normal Trek stuff. Part of me WANTS to just have a bunch of aliens in an otherwise normal setting. Maybe that's what will happen. We'll see. I am leaning towards this because I really want to have a convenience store called FerengiMart, and I'd rather have it staffed with actual Ferengi.

Series this work belongs to:

Part 1 of Store Trek

#star trek #lower decks #star trek lower decks #lwd #st lwd #stlwd #mariner #beckett mariner #freeman #carol freeman #star trek au #star trek lower decks au #lower decks au #store trek #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #retail au #unhumanrights #i made this