#and now the month long wait starts again

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[parvuls]

okay wait I'm writing an actual post so I can start handling all these emotions

#in the tags #because I am extremely aware of the privilege involved in buying extra content and even getting it shipped so fast #if seeing madison/kickstarter talk bothers you feel free to ignore this post! it'll likely be my last one on the subject. #but the thing is: three and something years ago I was deeply depressed and confined to my house because of covid #I hadn't been active in any fandoms in 3-4 years at that point and I started to think I'd never feel this passionate again #and then I read omgcp in a fit of insomnia one night #and then waited with baited breath for the last episode to go up so I could write a completley canon compliant madison fic #I spent six months obsessively writing it. #it was my first long fic in 5-6 years and working on it honestly - genuinely - dragged me out of that bad place. #when I posted it I knew one day it'd be jossed by canon madison but I was so okay with it. I couldn't WAIT #and tbh I thought it'd happen much sooner than it did #but now we're finally here and it weirdly feels like a big moment for me #like a: look where we were and where we're at now kind of moment. like a: end of an era kind of moment. #by no means the end of my omgcp era #but I think a part of me just felt unfinished as long as this moment was still unfulfilled #anyway. if you were here when I was completely new to this fandom and just started talking about that 2015 summer nonstop #just know you were a major part of my mental health journey during covid and that I appreciate it so fucking much #rip madison fixation 👋 you've served me well #text

[lizeon]

wth why would i suddenly not be able to watch a live stream on youtube? i dont think its an adblocker thing? i was watching a different live stream like 2 hours ago, i can watch regular videos and vods. but now when i bring up a stream it just goes gray and says "Your browser cant play this video". never seen this and having a hard time finding an answer online that is about a live stream, everything so far is for videos that dont work for anyone else either

#tried to bring it up on my tablet but that just didnt load the page at all like its not connected to the internet but it is #but i can watch the stream just fine on my phone on mobile firefox #weird. really really weird. #like i even had the tab up earlier while waiting for it to start. but then the extension to put tabs to sleep put it to sleep and #when i went back suddenly this is happening on all livestreams ive checked #opened in a different tab group and private mode. same problem #chat still works tho lol #maybe i'll try turning off the tab sleep ext?? hmm #my phone's at like 32% but also its after midnight so i probably wont watch the whole stream #(i say like i dont end up watching full streams everytime i go ''i'll just watch for a few minutes'' #and also octavio is so adorable and funny and he's making a puppet that is already cursed) #anyway i'll either keep looking online or trying turning off that other extension or ill give up and just plug in my phone haha #eta: hey hey... guess..... guess what i did.... i watched that whole stream.... #and then another hour long one after it..... this is why i didnt watch live streams for so long #i cant just watch ''for a few minutes'' #then a few months ago i got sucked into the tempus rabbit hole and look where i am now #tanking my sleep schedule once again it is 3am -.-

[silenthillbunni]

🤕🩹💊

#ughhhh sighhh im so tired #last night i started getting gallstone attack feelings #i took one of those painkillers i got for it but nothing #then i got such a bad attack ughhh. i even took another pill (idek if u can bc theyre strong nd yk.. precaution necessary) but it did nothin #so i've just been in pain for like 14 hours. idk how i managed to doze off to sleep nd then wake up nd then doze off again several times #it was just so awful skskks #i didnt even do anything different yesterday so i have no idea what triggered it #guess i just gotta cut down on everything like coffee nd the two small squares of chocolate i have :') #guess i just gotta stick to oatmeal nd brown rice nd crushed tomatoes lmaooo i wanna throw up just thinking abt it #but that pain is so awful and i just cant deal w it #it's so frustrating that i have to wait so long to even get a date for the surgery #it's been over a month now and i havent heard anything?!?!??? #at least gimme a date so i can know how long i need to keep this up T-T #im so tired of this i just want my health to go back to the way it was before #i wanna exercise for real and i want real food!!!! i cant even use spices bc it's too much... 😔 #and like i realize now that i think the gallstones have affected my bodily function for quite a while #i wasnt able to take iron or magnesium supplements or vitamins and stuff bc my body reacted so weirdly to it #i just dont wanna deal w this pain or be scared of what i eat. or eat bland boring food constantly. or not be able to work out #just wanna have the surgery </333 it's so hard to have to sit and wait for it sigh

[waugh-bao]

*

#just got an email from my advisor #telling me that I got a summer fellowship I applied for #from one of the british studies centre that runs out of our university #so it’s official! i’m spending half the summer in london (and hopefully also the south of france for a week)! #doing research and working on the second year project that’s going to be a test case for my dissertation #this is amazing #not only the travel but having named fellowships and successful grant writing on my CV is a big deal #now I just have to wait until Wednesday #to see if the jewish studies center will accept my grant proposal for a month of intensive Portuguese at the University of Lisbon (and work #in the state archives there) #the best part of this #is that #(if I also get approved for that) #I’ll be able to fly to Taiwan for the two weeks in between the end of my research stay in London and the start of my course in Lisbon #and see my best friend in person for the first time in 2 years #I’m dying to know for sure so I can tell her #me stuff #not the stones #ngl I’m also just excited to be in London again #my little LSE alumna heart hates being gone for too long

[an-annyeoing-writer]

I spent like $100 on shoes (literally never bought this expensive piece of clothing in my life) and idk if I really wanted them or if it's a coping mechanism

#It's combat shoes that I used to really want as a teen #and recently I got this will again #and I mean it's an investment they'll be good for long years #but I am literally broke I started working TODAY I have close to no savings left and now a month wait until my first pay #should i keep them or should i return....... #i don't know what are my feels #i freaked out the moment i unpacked them but now i'm starting to like them and i dont know anymore #vg: personal

[10-dutchies-12-bicycles]

in other news: I DONT THINK TORTURE FICS ARE RIGHT FOR ME.......... SHRIEGRJHWHDJSHD

#like. GOD i am so stressed fisgrjsjhdjshrjehrjebrhwjr i am so fucking stressed..... maybe im not an angst person after all #not that i ever thought i was an Angst PersonTM but yanno. this sure does cement it #last night i was Plagued By The Horrors (2 month long wait for a 4th opinion from a specialist. yes thats right. not 2nd opinion. 4th) again #and i reread the FLUFFIEST smutfic ever :3 i love that one so much it is SO heartwarming tbh it might be my fave smutfic maybe ngl #and it distracted me from The Horrors!!!! it made me so happy and i didnt start obsessively rehearsing the upcoming doctors apptmt lol T_T #and now im reading a torture fic........ which is on the brightside VERY good at distracting me. it has consumed my fucking brain #BUT AT WHAT COST #the cost of laundry i guess? JRHSJKRHSJRJSHJD i am stress sweating and it doesnt smell great ngl T_T jsgsjdhhsudhsyejjaud #mine

[wordsinwinters]

.

#hi! it’s been a while! #but I just wanted to leave a little note to say I’m still here #and this weekend I started to write again! #I’m still months away from graduating and I plan on waiting until that part of my life is wrapped up to dive back into Then Again fully #but I’ve really enjoyed visiting it in the little pieces of free time that I have #and it’s reassured me that I do still have the motivation to finish it in the future! #so thank you to everybody who’s sent me messages and notes during this wildly long hiatus #they’ve been incredibly touching and perpetually appreciated #hopefully I’ll have more to say by the end of the summer #for now #love ya! miss ya! see ya eventually!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i dunno what i planned to do today. but it wasnt spening 8am-5.30pm weighing samples #just like i didnt plant to spend 11am-6.30pm yesterday weighing samples. but sometimes the universe doesnt let u choose #mostly i feel bad that our undergrad had to do all that time with me when she has all her class work as well and #like i dont care abt the project and ive been with it every step of the way. it was nice talking with her tho #fucking exhausting bc i talked the ENTIRE TIME bc i cant handle lulls in conversation. but ive been assured im not annoying so whatever #god. my boss asked me yesterday if id gotten to relax this last week and its like. i mean compared to the fucking month ive had? yes #but probably not by the standards of a normal person. i definitely havent been getting enough sleep #and tomorrow i habe to go in at 8 and in theory im supposed to go to a retirement party tomorrow at noon #and the guy is a rambler so who knos how long ill b there. and im already socially drained. thrn monday i should start with my other #project again. but i habe to check the machine and im just gonna have to go full on no breaks until mid may #so whej will i get a break? in theory after may 14th. so fucking frustrating #and im not mad at anyone specifically. i just hate this project and cant wait to quit and move #so now im gonna fucking draw more too earnest narut0 fanart and avoid the things i should b doing #bc im fuckine exhausted. literally i was standinf from 9.30 to 3pm with not breaks bc idk i didnt look at the time #and im not running today apparently bc im too tired and the sun is gonna set in 20min >:-[ #ay ay ay. 2023 my year of hatred and rage #wah. i don't wanna drive tomorrow 😫 #unrelated

[grantihare]

another tiny mordred update : hes taking his pills like a champ, the pill pockets are miraculous fr he even begs for another one after i give him his medicine so its not nearly as bad as when he was on a liquid dose before 🥲 that was rly rough for him so its rly nice that we found a way for him to be okay with the pills

hes still wheezy ofc he only just took his second dose but if its like last time he had meds it might start having an impact by the weekend so im hoping so hard for him 🥹 id love him to be able to have a nice long play day with my partner on their day off

#its such a relief genuinely to have smth to help him like ik im a broken record at this point but #i was in such a major depressive episode for the past couple months bc i felt so so helpless abt it #and i feel so light rn to have him be eager to be medicated and playful again #weve been trying to diagnose this for like 2 months and he started wheezing before then #and thats not so long for us but hes only 8 and a half months old #thats like a third of his entire life unable to have fun like he wants to #im so so happy that he has a diagnosis and a fix for it now #i want so so many energetic years with this little guy and this is a start to that #thinking abt it makes me cry fr /pos #thank u so much to everyone who helped us get here whether thru donations or boosting or kind words/emotional support #i cant wait to be able to post a video of him with zoomies and no panting once this med course is thru #happy things #mordred

[noxtivagus]

DEATH UNTO DAWN ON SPOTIFY 🥹🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #pls. listen. it has the tea ost n the nier collab n sorrow of werlyt n eden. #it has so many osts dear to me uwahh i've been waiting. so long 😭😭 #looking at the album properly now that i'm back home from feeding the cats. help one of them even followed me from the #lower ground lvl to. 2nd floor HFLAKSJFLKSD. those cats. r very dear to me :< #back to ffxiv though. not only w ^^ but there's also hearthward.. ishgard my home. oh my god #n then. danshig naadam iirc? the 'a __ air __' around the start. my fav frontlines map hehe. i miss frontlines honestly #oh my god the scions & sinners stuff too 🥺 #spotify wrapped w to the edge at the top fr. OH MY GOD THIS MONTH #W KH FINALLY. YK ON SPOTIFY 😭 riku n dearly beloved those osts mean so much to me hehe n then #FFXIV NOW TOO 🥹 #so weird listening to these on spotify. this means i can remove a lot of my mp3s now that i downloaded from yt hdkfajsdkfl #i remember yk? IM GNA CRY SO BADLY I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE #I MISS. EDEN SO BAD IT HURTS. i miss raiding w my friends i miss laughing w them i miss calling n then. clearing. together. #i miss meeting new ppl. n. oh that one silly friend i still rmb those compliments man he made me attached for a bit i can't deny that but #IT'S JUST. FOND FOR ME TO LOOK BACK ON NOW. #n then. with this is just. endless small reminders of what i love in life so much. yk these memories these people these emotions n thoughts #all these stories. fuck. i feel like. a kid again n it's. smth i've missed lately. it soothes me so much n comforts my heart n soul n mind #sweet serenity oh how i missed you. yk that. that certain peace even though the world around me may be. yeah #even if the apocalypse wld come to test us all or smth i know that. the love i just have for. life wld. yk always return. #i'll always keep it close no matter how much it'll fucking hurt. #i love ffxiv so much i really do it just. yeah for the past few years has become one of my homes fr. always gives me comfort #always makes me remember myself again yk? hdflasdjflkd.. i miss emet-selch can you tell one reason why he's. rlly special to me #like bro he's. i mean. i find him. oh god how to put this i find him attractive fuck it but uh. his uhm. form as solus is.. he's #ffxiv shb grandpa simulator jokes for a reason 💀 but my bro i loved you ever since i knew you EMET-SELCH HE'S JUST. SO #SO ANNOYING. FUCK. PROMISES TO KEEP RN JUST MAKES ME EMOTIONAL ALL THE TIME. THE ORCHESTRA MAN #i want to write so much but. my mind is such a mess rn. but it. i feel better. i remember again. it. hdlfajsfkdjf :^) 😭 #i. have sm to write. but i just wna cry i'm overwhelmed again but it's bcs i love. ffxiv sm 😭😭 imy n ilysm not just ffxiv but. everything

[oatbugs]

update on gf situation btw . for those who r curious or sent asks etc

#v soon after i asked for advice i talked to her and asked her why she doesnt draw anymore n abt other stuff etc etc #she basically said she doesnt feel at all content rn but she will start again once she feels better . which is so understandable #and im also glad to hear she still does love what she loved etc...just several factors in her life are making her . discontent atm #one of them (i think a big one maybe) is me being gone for like a month . we stayed w each other a lot b4 this #so the wait has been Agonising for both of us and i just didnt realise how much she missed me . which is like . idk . shes so sweet i love #her so much and while im sad my absence is contributing to her current situation im like. woah...there is someone who misses me so much.wow #i also need to like tripple clarify bc my post asking for advice was vague and i feel like it was misinterpreted a lot : #my gf is not confused abt what she wants to do + i am not using romantic relationships as a career progression device + i do in fact have #friends and a life outside academia and am aware that i too could just as easily become disconent w my work #life etc or even lose all my passion for whatever reason + i do not in fact . only love my gf for her art. i love her for everything she is #which includes smn who is very passionate abt art which is why i was concerned etc etc . anyway #we talked abt it and i now understand things more and also will hold her through it until she feels more content again #and then ill keep holding her through everything good and bad for as long as i can :) i love her sosososososo much #and also i miss her so much and if i dont see her soon ill Perish and Die . anyway

[dadbots]

Had a pretty fun weekend. :)

#dadbots.txt #For some reason the days are going by so slow compared to previously when it was rapidly passing us by. #In the same season nonetheless. This year will be different and I truly mean that when I say it. But I didn’t expect it to feel so… slow. #I don’t know if I like that or it’s somewhat temporary and will go back to being a quick blur and suddenly we’re in July - #- but it’ll take time getting used to… again. Guess it’s a matter of waiting and going from there. #Though I did have fun this weekend and enjoyed it as we start off February. Something coming up will throw it off balance for me - #- unfortunately. February isn’t a good month for me and hasn’t been due to personal matters. But I’m willing to just let all of those #memories and embedded pain to just… move on. No longer touch me. Somewhere in the breeze and I’m moving past it. I do have additional help #- now. so that’s extremely helpful than doing it all on my own for who knows how long. Fingers crossed for a better outcome. #Went to an open mic poetry event and it was so good as a new visitor to the location. Many of ‘em were centered around their own identity - #- and personal expression and I found myself relating to a few. Definitely when it came to one of the poem’s #around one’s transsexual experience. It was so so lovely and truly made my night moving forward :). #My memory is god awful so names and all that goes in one ear - out the other. But I’m hoping some of the poet’s will be back again - #- by the time I visit for another show. It was a nice way of finding some inspiration overall and managed to record it too. #But it just resonated w/me considering that i’m in the process of obtaining T. No guarantees when or how long. But currently is in the - #- works of getting that situated and—praying—to be qualified for it. Whew. Might take a while though. #Other than that just been in a creative mood and binging yakuza lately. And did a mini personal reading as well. #- so it’s been pretty well. Needed a weekend like this and I can say that I’m looking forward to more good vibes all around. 🖤

[foone]

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)

#ADHD

[mothslimes]

(clenching fists) not getting even close to 30 ects is normal for my first semester and the only reason everyone else seems to be doing just fine is because it's an art subject and there's a bunch of rich snobs who don't have to struggle with shit like finances so they can spend all their energy on their studies.

#mik talks #im freaking out because i just found out the lecture i havent been attending had been mandatory #i thought they didnt check attendance and i could just self teach myself everything before the exam #but now i probably wont get my cps for this module and ahhhhhghh i need to retake so much fucking shit next semester im freaking out #im getting like 15 ects if im lucky but its probably closer to 10 #ive been so depressed i need to get on meds again but no therapist and the wait lists are so long and i wont even have TIME for appointment #and i need to like open commissions or something to get more money because i still owe my mom 3.5k and if i paid her back right now i wont #have anything for rent next month #im already not eating any food from monday to friday to save money and then eat whatever my mom gets for free from her work on the weekends #ITS FUCKING BRUTAL OUT HERE........... I HATE BEING AN ADULT!!!!!!! #and now i still need to fix my resident papers because i was so stupid and misspoke last time at the resident center #well. at least i finished my prject for auditory media design #but aaaaaaah we havent even started on our antisemitism project for media stereotypes :'))))))) #AND I HAVENT STUDIED FOR MY FINAL EXAM ON TUESDAY NEXT WEEK #this has been a vent session

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - non/con, manipulation, mentions of breeding, and unbalanced power dynamics.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's ecstatic the day his owner, Suguru, brings you home. He's the pinnacle of a spoiled pet, constantly showered in toys and treats and affection, but his owner's a busy man, and he tends to sulk when left home alone. He's had other companions before, another leopard hybrid who nearly killed him before being released back into the wild and a black panther who somehow proved to be a worse influence on Satoru than Satoru was on her, but you're supposed to be more permanent solution, another hosuepet to keep him company when Suguru can't. You're a sweet little housecat, all wide-eyes and raised ears, but still, Suguru wouldn't be surprised if you're begging to go back to the shelter less than an hour after meeting your new roommate.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who falls in love with you immediately. Suguru practically has to keep him in a chokehold while you explore your new home, eventually curling up on your new bed. Satoru's on top of you as soon as he gets loose, purring obnoxiously while he runs his bristled tongue over your cheek. Suguru's half-convinced that your first day's going to end with bloody claws and bandages, but you only nuzzle into his chest and knead at the blankets underneath you. Satoru's a difficult cat to put up with, and Suguru's relieved that you, at least, find him tolerable.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's absolutely massive compared to you. The tips of your pointed ears barely reach his collarbones, and your wrist is only as thick as his fluffy tail. His favorite hobby quickly becomes carrying you from room to room despite your softly mewled protests, and he's not happy unless he's pressed against you as closely as possible. He used to force himself into Suguru's lap whenever possible, but now, he's unbearable unless you're sitting pretty in his. He doesn't even complain when you lose your temper and dig your little fangs (barely half the size of his - a poor imitation of a real predator's) into his arm, just grinning as he tugs at your ears and pinches your cheeks. He's not exactly a wild animal, but he's still at the top of his food chain. You're not quite a mouse, but you might as well be, compared to him.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's calling you his mate after less than a full month. You don't know what it means, often parroting it back as more of a question than a term of endearment, and Suguru just brushes it off as Satoru being deliberately irritating. He keeps it up, though. even after you start refusing to respond to it.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who starts introducing you to new "games". You know you don't stand a chance against him, but somehow, he always manages to goad you into roughhousing, into squirming as he pins you under his full weight. He likes to dangle things above your head, to see how long it takes your instincts to get the best of you before your chest is pressed against his and you're pouting so adorably as you jump and bat at his hand. Sometimes, when you fall asleep mid-grooming session, he'll let his mouth wander lower than it should, and you'll wake up to his tongue lapping over your chest, his face buried between your thighs in a way that leaves you teary-eyed and warm. You've tried to tell Suguru, but you always get embarrassed and end up mumbling something as vague as 'Satoru's being mean to me, again.' In the end, Satoru only ever gets a slap on the wrist and a new reason to tease you, next time Suguru turns his back.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who fucks you whenever Suguru isn't home. He planned on waiting for your first heat (delayed by your shelter suppressants and the stress of a new home), and he knows he's not supposed to, but he just can't get enough of having your smaller body curled up underneath his, your tail thrashing from side to side as he lazily rolls his hips against yours. You tend to whine, at first, to go on and on about how weird it feels and how much it hurts, but as soon he gets his cock inside of you, all those complaints tend to go away. It's almost funny, how easily your stupid little kitty mind gets all hazy and cockdrunk. He always loves you, but he loves you most when you're drooling and purring for his cum, begging him to breed you properly between hitched moans.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's not even mad when Suguru catches him bouncing your half-conscious, fucked-out body on his cock. He wants to be the best possible mate for you, and he couldn't do that if he wasn't willing to show you off <3

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #hybrid au #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yandere jjk #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #yanderecore #yancore