#and she talks about how she was able to quit and how 'she knows we can quit too and how she thought she couldnt do it'

[wosoluver]

Celebration

Pina x reader, Barça femeni x reader

<< this last game, Clau wasn't able to score, but you helped her chill and celebrate the league's win >>

You could see the frustration plastered onto her face. Not once, not twice, but over five shots. None of them would hit the back of the net.

First being taken down in the penalty box, on a very promising chance, making sure we got a penalty.

Frido hit it perfectly, placing it right in the goal. Making it 1-4.

At 85' Clau kicked the ball, but it went straight into the Granada goalkeeper's hands.

Then Brugts made an amazing cross, but she missed it, by so little. Someone was able to get a rebound, and still, it just wouldn't go in.

Next Hansen passed her the ball, but she had fallen down after another player had harshly pushed her.

At the stoppage time, she dribbled well, but the ball was deflected, now getting a chance from a corner. But nothing. Like every play after that.

You were already winning the game.

But Claudia felt an extreme need to prove herself. Even knowing she was one of the best in the team, and definitely the future of Barça.

And you weren't saying this just because she's your girlfriend. Everyone saw it too.

When the final whistle blew, instead of instantly celebrating, she sat on the grass with her hands on her head.

You ran from the bench straight to her.

"Amor you did amazing. Don't be so hard on yourself." you kneeled down in between her legs.

"I missed all my fucking chances!"

"You did everything in your reach. They did some good defending. And overall, the rest of the team could have done better too. Esmee and Bruna also made some mistakes."

"I know, I just can't believe I couldn't do anything."

"You almost scored the first pass you got after entering the game!

But I know no matter how much I try, I won't convince you, so.

How about we celebrate our league title tonight, your amazing 12 goals this season and when we are back home we can work on your finishes and do some practice?"

"Deal." she said giving you a small smile. That didn't quite reach her eyes. But you were determined to change that.

You pulled her up and instantly jumped on her back.

"VAMOOOS! CAMPEONES!" you screamed from the top of your lungs.

You got down to hug the other girls, getting ready to take the celebration picture, sitting on the ground in between Vicky and Ona.

You went in to the bathroom, needing to pee, but when coming out of the stall, you were sprayed in the face by Patri and Lucy, who were jumping around euphoric.

"Goddamn! It stings!" you yelled while being pulled in by the girls.

"Amor, close your eyes." she asked you, while using her shirt to clean your eyes. "There."

"Thank you."

You proceeded to jump around in a mosh pit, along with your friends. Then Patri had the brilliant idea to go around the hallway dancing and singing. She held the speaker in one hand and the phone on the other, as everyone trailed behind her, you held onto your girlfriend.

"IZQUIERDA, DERECHA, IZQUIERDA, DERECHA, AYE VAMOS!"

And while the team was somewhat distracted, you pulled Clau back into the locker room.

You both did the best you could to keep professional during work. But today felt okay to let go.

"Another one! Together." you said grabbing two tiny bottles of champagne, handling her one. "Cheers."

"Cheers mi amor!" she pulled you in for a kiss. "I love you."

"Y yo a ti." with your hands around her neck, kissing once again.

But you were rudely interrupted.

"Oye!" said Ona walking in with Lucy.

"Oh don't start! What were you two walking in here for? Together?" you teased them.

"Yeah, the party is outside. Unless you were here for the same as us." your girlfriend joined you, while wiggling her brows.

"What? No!" they said at the same time, nervously.

"Come on! We already know!" laughter erupted in the room as everyone walked back in.

The next thing you knew, Cata was slip' n sliding in beer. Claudia joining her, and you knew this wouldn't end well.

As you turned to talk to Patri, you felt yourself being taken down. Your girlfriend had basically stricked you down like a bowling pin. And ended up under you.

"CLAUDIA!" you yelled out, as a drunk Cata, could only laugh, looking at the whole situation.

As Salma filmed everything, and the girls cheered on.

"Fuck! My hand!" you whispered.

"I'm so sorry!" she said helping you up. "Are you okay?"

"No, I think I might have broken my hand."

At the start of the night you all knew, you were in for some partying, but not that everyone would take the flight next day with an insane hangover, Cata still wasted, and you with a cast on your hand.

I know some of you expected some smut, and it's not. But I can confidently say there is a Pina smut coming! 🩷

#woso x reader #claudia pina #claudia pina x reader #fc barcelona femeni

[thegoldencontracts]

Secrets

Summary: You find Azul talking about you behind your back. It doesn't go the way you think.

Notes: Despite the summary this is literally the fluffiest shit known to mankind don't be fooled I am nigh incapable of angst (that is not true in the slightest I love angst), fem!reader

You'd been dating Azul for a while now. And in that time, he'd been the perfect boyfriend. The perfect gentleman.

But, at the same time, you couldn't help but feel like he hadn't been Azul. That he hadn't been quite as genuine with you as you had with him, quite as vulnerable.

Then, one day, you heard him talking about you to Jade and Floyd.

It was a lovely afternoon. You were supposed to come to the VIP room at 5 PM, but you came a bit early, and you couldn't help but try and listen in on what was going on in there.

"Hey, Azul," Floyd said. "You look-"

"Nervous," Jade said.

"Your face is sooo red!"

Azul sputtered in indignation.

"I- er- well-" he started. "Shut it."

Floyd just snickered, and though Jade remained silent, you knew he was probably getting a kick out of this all too.

"The little grouperfish won't mind if you stutter a bit," Floyd said. Ever since you and Azul got together, he changed your nickname to grouperfish. Something, something, symbiotic relationships with octopodes.

"She will, I'm certain," Azul replied. You could only imagine how red he was right now. God, he probably looked so cute. If only you could break down the stupid door and see his face. "And, regardless-"

He trailed off, likely in embarrassment.

"Doesn't my darling deserve the best?"

Was it getting really warm in here all of a sudden, and was it just you? Whatever. You just felt your heart pounding. Azul hadn't ever said something so heartfelt, something so completely removed from the business filter of his.

After a while of nothing but the sound of you own heartbeat, Floyd finally spoke up.

"Pfft- that sounds so stupid, Azul!"

Floyd was awesome and all, but right now, you needed him to stop talking.

"Indeed." Et tu, Jade? Come on! Azul was being genuine for once! "Though I don't believe your little angelfish will entirely mind it."

Azul sighed.

"Anyone would find themselves repulsed by such a foolish declaration," he said. "If she ever found out I said that, I'm certain she'd never be able to look at me the same."

Well, you did know he said that, and you loved it!

"Come on," Floyd said. "Now you're just bein-"

You slipped, and pushed the door open. Oops. Guess it wasn't locked after all.

Azul's eyes widened, and he scrambled to recompose himself.

"Ah, darling!" He said, before his eyes narrowed as the realization hit him. "...Just how much have you heard?"

"Everything!" You chirped. And just when you thought Azul's face couldn't get any more red, it somehow did.

Floyd laughed.

"She's lookin' at you the same, isn't she?"

"Shut up, Floyd."

"If it makes you feel any better," you said. "I liked hearing your thoughts without a filter! It was a nice change of pace."

Jade flashed Azul an 'I-told-you-so' look. Azul, however, couldn't see it, because his face was buried in his hands.

And at that moment, it hit you.

He'd probably been made fun of a lot for being sentimental. He was clearly insecure about this, used to rejection.

"Hey, Azul," you said softly. Floyd looked at you in curiosity.

Azul, however, didn't respond, caught up in his own whirlwind of embarrassment. That was okay.

You just pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. The effect was instant. He looked up at you, eyes wide and face red.

"W-What is this?"

"I really did appreciate that," you said. 'What you said."

Azul stared at you with that slack-jawed look for a bit, before swatting you away.

"Get out," he said, face flushed. "A-All three of you."

"But weren't we supposed to hang out-"

"Re-enter later!" He shrieked, looking more mortified than anything. "You've bore witness to my humiliating state for far too long!"

Floyd snickered. Jade-

Come to think of it, where had Jade gone in the midst of all of this?

"And scene," you heard, seemingly out of nowhere. Jade had been recording this?

"Jade, I-" Azul cut himself off, already aware of the fact that Jade was probably going to use this as blackmail material. "Just leave already!"

"Fine, fine."

And as you shuffled our of the VIP room, you couldn't help the grin that crossed your face.

Azul was pretty cute when he was genuine.

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twst #twst azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x you #jade leech #floyd leech

[beelijah4894]

I want to examine Chilcuck's change in relationship with Marcille

Quite frankly, I want to discuss the way his general trust changes and how it affects him.

Marcille and Chilcuck are good coworkers, especially at the start of the show. They respect boundaries and share a teasingly platonic relationship. Beyond that, they are fairly good friends; not extremely close but still good. For lack of a better explanation, they are close enough to be able to show genuine concern for the others comfortability rather than just their safety. For example, when Marcille is attack by the slime, Chilchuck offers his hanky to blow out the excess. Or when Marcille helped Chilchuck stitch up his neck wrap.

This show does a tremendous job of showing how these characters have already gotten to know each other and that they know each other well. When Chilchuck is trapped with the mimic, he trusts Marcille would be concerned enough to get help, but also knows her well enough to know she probably fell back asleep. Still, Chilchuck does trust these people. Enough even to share his age and very minor details about his life outside the dungeon.

A scene that really shows Chilchuck's trust in the group is right before the Undine attack when he is laying out the plan for the rest of the trip. It shows just how well they work together and Chil doesn't have to worry about too many details. He knows he is with a strong group. In fact, I'd say they are at their strongest right before and during the dragon attack. They make a plan together and work out each others strengths, in which Chil is able to help in the actual fight. (another less important fact, but when Laios is mentioning how they used to fight dragons, children isn't even named).

Then, the resurrection happens. Chilchuck is the number one person against it. So why does he stay? Why doesn't he stop it or leave the party? There are quite a few reasons. He can't go home without his party, he'd never survive. But he also doesn't want them to die and I think deep down, he does trust their judgement. They've stayed alive this long doing things he wasn't comfortable with and, while this is an extreme, he does have some form of trust there.

Chilchuck is such a follower of what is ethically right and he obviously doesn't agree with this. While, on the other side, Marcille thinks that "there is no morality in magic." It drives a stake through that bond because they both feel so strongly about it. And all of those adventures they had before almost don't matter when Chilchuck is talking to Laios about how, "[He] always found it strange. A well off elf girl wanting to explore the dungeon." (quote may not be exactly correct). Chil doesn't trust "that Marcille" anymore, at least, not as much as he used to. It doesn't help that she is frightening when she is walking the mini dragons away.

When Chil is complaining about his group to the orc (I can't remember her name, forgive me), he admits that they are consistently near death and how his party is reckless and stupid. We know now that he is afraid of losing them and was generally projecting his own feelings of fear. Marcille is included in this, as he complains about her. He, however, mentions her life after the dungeon. "How is she going to live a normal life after this?" He does care for her, but I believe he is projecting here also. How would he live a normal life after witnessing that. What would he do if they're found out?

And this is projected onto Marcille after a while. When Marcille is teaching Laios healing magic and Marcille and Chilchuck discuss party relationships. He implies that she shouldn't have even been let into the group. "I wish he had a better judge of character. That way he'd never find himself in a situation involving black magic." Not to mention in this episode, This being the shot after he says this. They are metaphorically further apart than they have been up until this point and Laios is right in the middle of it.

That friendship is still there. We can see it in places like when Marcille is just holding Chilchuck during the cleaners episode and he's not really angry. But that trust and fear is still there. We see in the Chimera episode, Chilchuck trying to let Marcille know about Shuro and a few others knowing what happened; he is still unhappy to be in this situation and wants to find a way out, but there really isn't a way out.

"I knew it. I had a feeling it would turn out like this. Dammit!"

"Sorry, guys…"

followed by Chilchucks defeated expression. No reassurance, but no fighting either.

This wasn't my best analysis but I am putting my one year of college to use!

I can't wait to see how this changes and expands. I am still only on anime right now, bc my manga are on back order but I'll get there soon enough! @burnazog

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #chilchuk tims #laois touden #falin dungeon meshi #marcille donato #marcille dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers

[imshii-kin]

Good Luck

Chapter # 3 Let Dead Men Tell Tales.

Platonic Yandere Dc x reincarnated Reader

I made this a bit ago so have mercy :,)

Wattpad

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (You are here)

Can't repeat the past?... Why of course you can! - Gatsby

TW - Smoking, Addiction

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

Jason tilts his head, confused by Y/n's response. "You don't remember me? Is this some kind of prank?" He frowned, crossing his arms. Y/n nervously shifts under the older man's gaze, "You can ask Bruce, he's the one who brought me here."

Frown deepening, Jason sighs. "Of course, the old man doesn't tell me shit." He grumbled. "So you don't remember me at all?" He asked, and Y/n shakes her head.

"Hm, maybe that's for the best," he muttered under his breath. He ruffles Y/n's hair before turning to leave. "I'm going to have a little talk with Bruce." He said ominously.

Well, that sounds fun.

Watching him leave, Y/n can't help but continue to wonder what her relationship with this family was. Jason and Tim seemed to be somewhat fond of her, and Damien, well he was hard to read but he seemed to know her.

Turning back to the shelves, Y/n realizes that Jason forgot to help her get the book.

"Aw, man..."

──●◎●──

It was late and Y/n (reluctantly) went to Jason's room. She was able to sleep some, waking up only a little bit earlier and not being able to fall back asleep.

"Miss Kent? Are you awake? Bruce wants me to escort you to his office." Alfred's voice drew Y/n out of the book she had snatched from the library. She was awake, she's been awake since 3:00. 

(Why may you ask? I don't know, why are you reading this at 2:00 am hm? Or are you bench-watching some show again?)

Putting the bookmark in, Y/n slides out of bed following Alfred to Bruce's office. Once again, she can't help but admire the beautiful architecture of the mansion. There was a good mix of old Victorian architecture and modernism. They blended well, creating a tasteful style. Paintings were far from few, some looking to be quite old.

"Here we are, Miss. Kent, Master Bruce, and Young Master Richard are waiting for you." Y/n nods, entering the room. Alfred softly shut the door behind her.

"So you can tell blue bird over here, but not me?"

"Jason, please, not right now."

Y/n could feel the tension immediately. In front of her stood Jason and Dick arguing with each other, Bruce was sitting behind a desk trying to calm the massive headache forming.

Dick was wearing a dark blue dress shirt that complimented his deep blue eyes, as well as some dress pants. He was the first to notice Y/n, "Oh! Y/n you're here!" He smiled, his previous frustration gone.

"Uh... yeah." She muttered plainly. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Dick shakes his head, walking over to you. "Nope, we just finished talking," his gaze sharpened, "right Jason?"

Jason's first clenched tightly, glaring at his older brother. "For now."

Dick smiles at Jason for a second before he goes back to looking at Y/n. "Hi Y/n, my name is Richard, but you can call me Dick." He gives you a little wave. "I've been informed you no longer remember anything." His expression dampened, "that must be terrifying for you." He gently patted her hair.

Bruce stands, clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. "I'm sorry for calling you all here so late, but I need you all to be informed about how we will be proceeding for the next month."

──●◎●──

Y/n returns to her room, a somber feeling accompanying her. This was it, wasn't it? She was really stuck in the DC universe. Her chest ached as she remembered her life, a life of a college student, just trying to make it to finals week.

Her friends, her colleagues in that crappy job she hated. Her mother and father who, despite their money situation, supported her dream and helped her get into college. 

Tears well up in Y/n eyes. "I want to go home," she whispered to no one. She wipes her eyes quickly, not wanting to cry, and slips out the book she was reading. 

'Reincarnation of the Soul'

──●◎●──

Dick falls onto his bed with a deep sigh, exhausted by today's travel. Starfire wasn't entirely happy with him up and leaving without much explanation, luckily she was understanding with him.

Y/n... he remembers her when she was just a little kid. He remembers babysitting her and Jon, and her tagging along whenever Jon came over for a sleepover with Damien. 

He remembers when Clark got seriously injured while Louis was away and having to take Y/n in for a few months. She was just the sweetest thing, and she came over so often it was like having another little sister.

Not that she remembers any of that now. Dick frowns, all those years, are just gone. How could something like this happen? It was just awful.

──●◎●──

Jason curses under his breath, that old shit had no right to keep something like this from him. And Dick, that was a prick move he pulled back there. 

Taking a deep break, Jason slips a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. Opening it, he takes one out using his teeth, with a flick of his lighter, a tiny flame danced into existence. He brought the flame to the tip of the cigarette, inhaling deeply as the tobacco ignited with a soft hiss.

As the smoke filled his lungs, Jason closed his eyes, letting the tension of the day evaporate with each exhale. The bitter tang of nicotine lingered on his tongue, a familiar comfort.

He had promised Y/n to stop smoking before the incident. Jason still remembers the look on her face when she first saw him smoking, a small smile on his face as he remembers a seven-year-old Y/n scolding him.

"Master Jay, I'm surprised you're still here." Jason opens his eyes, looking over to the right where Alfred stood, wise as ever. "I suppose the meeting didn't go well?" Alfred inquired making Jason chortle, "What gave that away?"

Alfred shakes his head, "Well, as much as I enjoy your presence at the Manor, I do prefer if you'd not smoke," He points to the window above Jason's head, "Especially right outside a guest's window." Alfred smiled before turning and leaving.

With a resigned sigh, Jason takes the cigarette and drops it to the floor, crushing the butt beneath his heel, extinguishing the last remnants of his temporary sanctuary. 

#batfam #platonic yandere #yandere batman #yandere bruce wayne #yandere clark kent #yandere damian wayne #yandere dc #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere justice league #yandere tim drake #tim drake

[aquaquadrant]

thoughts on the new character bios/interviews that the dreamworks twitter posted below the cut, as promised

so right off the bat, i’m trying to figure out when these interviews took place. it seems to be along the lines of a ‘where are they now?’ for the nublar six, so it’d be long enough after their rescue for them to be settled back in their lives. in terms of exact timing, my guess would be it’s 2-3 years before the time frame of chaos theory, and here’s why.

ben’s part mentions him starting college. if he was 14 during JWCC, he would be around 17 at the time of JW fallen kingdom (ie. during the epilogue scene) cuz it’s 3 years after JW. this would make him roughly 21 during chaos theory cuz it’s supposed to be around the same time as JW dominion (i think so, anyway, could be misremembering), which is 4 years after fallen kingdom. while it’s possible ben delayed his start at college bc of the whole ‘was stranded on dinosaur island for a while’ thing, starting at 21 seems pretty late. so this would most likely indicate the interviews were closer to the timing of the epilogue scene, maybe a year or two after (putting ben at 17-19).

more evidence: darius’s part portrays him as fairly well-adjusted and mentions him traveling to give talks, as we saw in the epilogue. we know that at the start of chaos theory, darius has been isolating himself for an unknown amount of time following brooklynn’s supposed death. i doubt ‘the dino times’ would’ve been able to get ahold of him for an interview.

final point: kenji’s part mentions his relationship with brooklynn and that “all is good in casa de kenji.” so like, it’s very unlikely brooklynn is ‘dead’ yet LMAO

the only thing that snags at me is sammy’s part saying she has her own ranch now. if this interview took place a couple years before chaos theory, she wouldn’t be older than 20. that’s a pretty damn young age to own and operate your own ranch- but since she comes from a family of ranchers, it wouldn’t be impossible. perhaps her family purchased some additional land for her to manage a smaller herd and they stay in close business with each other (providing surplus calves as replacement heifers for sammy’s herd, for example). either way, we stan a strong independent businesswoman.

also there’s the fact that they didn’t make one for brooklynn, when theoretically she would’ve still been alive at the time these interviews were done. but i think the dreamworks team might’ve just been concerned that ppl would confuse the timeline and use it as proof brooklynn is alive (full disclosure: i fully believe brooklynn is alive but ofc the show wants us to still think she’s dead) so i could see them leaving her out just for that reason.

now that the timeline junk is of the way, here’s more random thoughts.

yaz doesn’t seem to have returned to her career as an aspiring pro athlete (seems like something the interviewer would’ve mentioned if she had). this feeds my headcanon of her retaining permanent damage to her ankle quite well. also, the trauma. sammy’s part says they “don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff.” maybe that’s part of it: yaz decided to just settle down and enjoy the quiet life on the ranch. good for her!!

kenji opened up a climbing school?? that’s random as fuck but i’m here for it. on the surface, it seems like the kinda thing rich tourists would sign up for- y’know, the ppl who travel to exotic places around the world to climb shit. but it’s actually a super useful skill to have in a post-dinosaur world, and kenji knows all too well how important these kinds of skills are for survival. so for me, it’s a choice that reflects the maturing he did during his character arc.

i’ve seen some ppl speculating that yasammy might’ve had a breakup/relationship issues. i sincerely hope that’s not the case- at the time of the interviews, they seemed to be in a very committed relationship, but since that was prob a couple years ago i guess there’s a chance something could’ve happened after. fingers crossed i’m wrong and we’ll just get loads of wonderful yasammy content in the show🤞

i’m curious what ben went/was going to college for. considering the epilogue slated him as researching with mae on mantah corp island, i wonder if he’d pursue some kind of neuro/psych/animal behavior thing.

yaz anxiety mention! god please let the show delve into all the PTSD these kids must’ve brought back from the island.

every new bit of info we get has me so excited like can the show just drop already 😩⚰️

#jurassic world chaos theory #jwct #jwct spoilers #camp cretaceous #jwcc

[sincerely-sofie]

Chapter 9 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess (Round 4) + The Prisoner (Part 1)

Listen. I may be stupid. But I'm also dumb.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

EYYYYYYYYYY this is personally relevant in a very darkly humorous way, right down to the wording! Loving the player character and how much I can project experiences with psychosis onto the guy.

Okay hear me out HEAR ME OUT, this is me stretching this quote SO FAR to mean what I want it to mean BUT. As far as we know, the player character is the only person the Princess has ever met. Is this the Ultra Princess commenting on the fact that she doesn't know anyone but the player character? Long Quiet Personification PC confirmed????

PC'S PERCEPTIONS OF THE PRINCESS INFLUENCE WHAT THEY BECOME!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOO

I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO TELL THE ULTRA PRINCESS ABOUT THE NARRATOR. FINALLY.

Oh shoot. Um. We appear to be closer to the ending than I thought...

YOU FRICKIN' FRICK I WANTED TO GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE GAME WITHOUT PICKING UP THE KNIFE EVEN ONCE. DANGNABBIT.

Nope don't like the fact that the music cut out the second I picked up the knife! Don't like that!

Princess I don't think you quite realize that there are more awkward starts to a relationship and I speak from a painful degree of experience.

Asked her how I can get her out of here and the flashbacks are returning TTnTT

VERY deliberately avoiding the bait that is that upper dialogue option.

Why is dismemberment always the answer with these two?

Was this an option last time??? Was this an option the whole time and I missed it because I took ages to realize I could scroll through the options menu??? FRICK.

"I'll make this quick" she says. I don't like the confidence in her tone or the ramifications of how that will affect my perception of her and the way she manifests next time.

Welp. It really was quick this time. At least there's that.

WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD ON. The Princess has been a prisoner this whole time. That's been one of her most defining, fundamental character traits. Is this chapter title implying that she wasn't as much of a prisoner as I thought?

New party member! Mr. The Narrator you should understand the struggles of being a disembodied voice. Improvise, adapt, overcome.

First thought on the Skeptic was that I didn't like him. He is now one of my absolute faves.

MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME!

I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY YOU REFLECTIVE MANIAC.

I refused to take the blade and the Skeptic is digging in his heels about it. I don't like the revelation with Skeptic picking up the blade that Voices other than the Narrator are able to control my body.

I don't want to choose violence. I want to choose happy endings and love stories ;w; Guys. Guys please.

... Why is that one manacle empty?

The Hero is sweating bullets and wondering if the Princess is going to behead herself to get out of here and I'm dying laughing despite my nerves.

The Skeptic just called the Narrator pathetic, to which the Narrator basically said "WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER SAID I WASN'T." At least he's self-aware.

PC: Hey, who's that other chain for? Princess: Wouldn't you like to know, feather boy. Narrator: *deep, deep sigh*

Did a lot of beating around the bush talking about who has more reason to distrust the other. Pretty sure the only way out of this is to behead her, and I'm really curious about the empty shackle. Gonna check that out first and then cut her out myself.

Narrator's huffy about me examining the shackle. Buddy it's an inanimate object, and I'm pretty sure you're not very motivated to trap me using it like you always get with locking the door to the basement.

Skeptic just asked "And what? Is it going to lock the second we put our wrist into it?" and I have done a 180. That thing is definitely locking onto us if we put it on. Still gonna put it on because that's what the Contrarian would say to do if he was with us and I miss him.

Either way, even if my bad decisions result in us being chained up, we still have the blade. Beheading is still an option.

Oh goodie, the music cut out! That's a good sign!

NOOOOO IT'S THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY OWN ACTIONS

Dying at how the Princess's expression changes to one of mild disappointment.

Beheading is no longer an option :(

The Skeptic just pointed out that the chain is clearly special, and I'm hearing Kill Bill sirens and remembering that one time the Narrator said I was special during the Beast chapter.

*pops confetti popper* iiiiiit's DISMEMBERMENT TIIIIIME!

(Ran out of images to include in this. See y'all in the next one!)

#slay the princess #stp #sofie liveblogs stuff

[tunaababee]

we will be everything we say - Chapter 5

masterlist // fic playlist // read on AO3 // overall rating: e // wc this chapter: 3.5k // updates Mondays (aest)

Feyre Archeron has been best friends with Rhysand Sterling ever since she moved onto the same street when they were kids - the two became absolutely joined at the hip, with nothing able to come between them.

As they get older, life gets more complicated and things get harder. Not everything comes as naturally as it once did. People change, things happen, friends... drift.

But after drifting apart, maybe life can push them back together again, in time.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Chapter 5: twenty-one and twenty-two

Rhys couldn’t help but feel antsy despite the cosy, comfortable atmosphere of the house around him. His best friends in the world sharing drinks, breaking bread and just generally shooting the shit together again for the first time in who knew how long. All that matters was that it had been too long and everyone was here again. Cassian was happily sitting on the couch, Nesta perched in his lap with only some mild protests - he and Feyre’s sister had been dating for a few months after they had met at the gym Cassian worked at over in Windhaven. It took them a long time to stop riling each other up for more than a few moments before they used their big adult words and went out on a date, but it had seemed to be relatively smooth sailing from there. Nesta’s roommates, Emerie and Gwyn, had also tagged along and seemed to be fitting in quite nicely. Mor was chattering away with Amren and Varian, while Azriel seemed busy quietly brooding. Or maybe staring at Gwyn. Rhys couldn’t quite figure that one out, but he knew that he’d get to the bottom of it eventually. And yet, Rhys stood right beside him, almost equally as moody and out of it.

Because Feyre was coming tonight. After months of hasty apologies and rain checks for gatherings, she was finally showing up again.

The thought made Rhys’ gut and heart twist in tandem.

He had still talked to Feyre all throughout college, texting and calling when they were unable to meet up, but contact had been tapering off slowly but surely as the time ticked on. Rhys knew that she hadn’t been deliberately skipping out on spending time or talking with any of them on purpose - for the past few years, her art degree had kept her immensely busy while also managing to juggle a part-time job to help push her way through college. Feyre had managed to bag a scholarship after high school like she had been hoping for, but it didn’t quite cover the whole tuition, so she barely got any sort of reprieve before throwing herself wholeheartedly back into her future. Typical for a woman so unabashedly stubborn and glorious as- No, Rhys thought to himself. He had to stop those thoughts in their tracks. She was still with Tamlin. Engaged to Tamlin, last he had heard. Rhys had to rein himself in - he was well practised in the art, so why should tonight be any different?

“Rhysand, baby, don’t tell me Azriel’s brooding has rubbed off on you too. There’s only so much dark sulking our group can handle at any given time.” Mor strode over to the wall near the kitchen where he was leaning, shoving a plate with a few slices of pizza on it into his hand.

A practised smile slid across his features, though he knew it wouldn’t do much to fool his cousin. “Can’t a man stand and just have a minute to think his thoughts for a while, Mor?”

“In any other circumstance, sure. But we all know you get all loopy around Feyre to say the least. Except for maybe Nesta simply because she doesn’t like to be around you at the best of times, anyways. Just don’t overthink it, okay?” She placed a comforting hand on his arm, his own coming to rest on top of it and give a light squeeze of thanks. Something about Tamlin had always rubbed him the wrong way - not that anybody else felt kindly toward him, but Rhys struggled to hide it the most. It certainly didn’t help his case that Rhysand was still hopelessly in love with Feyre, but there was something more to it. He tried to put it out of mind as Mor moved back toward the group in the living room. Rhys ate his food and made light chatter with everybody, trying his best to keep his feelings out of sight and out of mind until, of course, Feyre inevitably arrived on Tamlin’s arm.

His heart almost stuttered out of his chest like a fucking schoolboy as he saw her - twenty two years old reduced all the way back to sixteen again in the blink of an eye. Suddenly he was ten times more conscious about what he wore and how he looked - he had gone for a simple look, a well-fitted black v-neck and dark blue jeans with some dress shoes.

Tamlin strode through the door first, Feyre struggling slightly to keep up, but she still tried her best to take everything in stride, a smile on her face. A smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, but a smile nonetheless. Feyre was wearing a pristine white short sleeve blouse, tucked into form-fitting dress pants with some flat shoes. It didn’t feel like her style, knowing she much preferred comfort and practicality over whatever business-chic fashion she had donned to match Tamlin. It showed off the weight she had seemed to lose, hips and wrists seeming to jut out more sharply with bone closer to the flesh than before. She let go to greet everybody, showered in a smattering of hugs and kisses on cheeks while Tamlin tersely nodded, his eyes flicking back to Feyre periodically as she made her way around the room. With every hello she got closer and closer to Rhys, his chest beating in double time almost by the time she made her way over to him.

“Hello, darling.” Rhys grinned at Feyre as widely as he could manage, though it didn’t escape his notice the way Tamlin glowered at him as he greeted her with his endearments he saved just for her.

“Hello, my dear.” She wrapped her arms around him and he didn’t hesitate to hug her right back. Feyre didn’t quite smell the way Rhys had remembered - lilacs, jasmine, warm sunshine on skin, home. Instead, she smelled of rose and lilies, of the sickly sweetness that makes your fingers stick unpleasantly. There were hints of her beneath it all, but it wasn’t quite her. It was something, someone different. He ignored the knot in his stomach as he squeezed her tightly, letting her go a few moments sooner than he would have liked. “It’s so good to see you.”

Before Rhys could get another word in, Tamlin approached, placing his hand possessively on the small of Feyre’s back. She straightened slightly before leaning into his side, arm slipped around his waist with an uncharacteristic stiffness. “Hello, Rhysand. Enjoying the get together?”

Rhys’ hands slid into his pockets, chin up and back straight with a feline grin. “Of course, you know I love any excuse to celebrate with my family, especially my brothers. We’ve been eagerly awaiting the both of you - glad to see you were both able to make it.”

“Yes, well, things have been busy since we all graduated, you know. Inheriting my father’s business was no small feat, I imagine you’ve been busy yourself with your own father’s business now being yours. I’ve personally had meetings and work trips abound, all with this one at my side. I can’t wait to have her as my wife.” His hand squeezed Feyre’s shoulder as he smirked, a small laugh escaping her as she looked up at him.

“Mm, I can imagine - congratulations to you both, I’m very happy for you. Please, help yourselves to some food and drink,” Rhys said, gesturing towards the pizzas and snacks they had laid out on the kitchen benchtop, a small cooler filled with various drinks just on the ground nearby. He looked at Feyre, eyes catching hers with a small smile. “We’ll catch up later, hm?”

The last thing Rhys wanted to do was ruin the night for everybody by being unable to stop himself punching Tamlin in the face due to all his showboating - he figured the best thing to do was to let them be and allow Feyre to come to him. They always came back to one another no matter what, and she would when she was ready - no matter how he felt for her, their friendship was first and foremost above everything. If he could have nothing else from her but her company on occasion, then that would be enough. Rhys wasn’t going to stop having faith in that now just because she was engaged to someone else - he may be a bit jaded, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. So he grabbed himself another beer, sliding into conversation with Cassian and Amren and used every ounce of willpower he had in him not to stare at Feyre all night. It warmed his heart a little bit to see her and Nesta making conversation, at least - things had always been a bit strained between the two of them, especially once their mother had died. 

Nesta had always been favoured by their mom, though it resulted in Nesta being more harshly criticised by her and made into a colder, harder person for it. Elain got an occasional lookover from her, but Feyre wasn’t ever on her mother’s mind. The people it shaped them into, the issues it caused between them and for them? It took a long time for the sisters to start talking after high school at all, let alone being able to reconcile in any capacity. He focused on that pride for the two of them blooming in his chest over all else. It made everything else easier to take in stride over the course of the night - easier not to stare, easier not to be jealous. Easier not to worry about the slight pallor of her skin and her skinnier-than-usual frame.

Rhysand managed to keep his mind occupied well enough into the night. Feyre was laughing and smiling, all with Tamlin right beside her, as she caught up with everybody. Nesta eventually brought out Cassian’s birthday cakes - two ice cream cakes, at his insistence - as everyone sang him happy birthday. He couldn’t help but catch a glance at her as they sang, and saw a hollowness in her eyes that he hadn’t remembered being there. Something only the darkness and light of the candles could catch, just for a moment, until Mor caught him staring again and gave him a sneaky slap to the arm. The lights flicked back on and he could see that mask slide back up again as cake began to be served. He didn’t hesitate to dive into his own slice, offering to clean up everything while the others milled about in the living room, alive with music and dancing and chatter. Telling a sweet little lie that it was the least he could do, when really he just wanted an escape. 

God, he was fucking useless. Rhys felt like he was struggling to keep it together just for one night. His head was a swirling mix of love and adoration and worry and jealousy. It made him feel utterly pathetic.

He didn’t hesitate to slip out into the backyard after he had finished - with the clinking of dishes and cutlery gone, he struggled to find something to help him drown out the slant of his thoughts that were quickly spiralling into some combination of worry and self-pity. The backdoor led out onto a small set of steps down into the yard itself, Rhys quickly descending before slipping back around them to hide in the blind spot that was made in the corner where the back of the stairs and the wall of the house met on the ground. He fished around in his back pocket, pulling out a lighter and a cigarette - it wasn’t a habit he indulged in often, usually reserved for social occasions where there happened to be other smokers, but if there was ever a time he would kill for an excuse to have a smoke, this was definitely it. Bought him a little more time to settle his nerves and racing thoughts. Rhys lit up without hesitation, taking a long drag as the back of his head hit the wooden panelling that lined the outer walls of the house. The sound of crickets and distant traffic were the only sounds breaking the silence, letting his eyes dance across the constellations and seeing which ones he could spot and name as a distraction.

At least, he was, until Feyre stepped out into the backyard herself, closing the door behind her before a shaky sigh loosened from her lips.

A small part of him hoped that she wouldn’t spot him, but the telltale wisps of smoke gave him up before he could even consider trying to put it out. She glanced over the railing of the staircase, a small smile on her face. A real one.

“Is this where you escaped to? I thought you said we’d catch up, huh?”

He simply chuckled in turn. “I was going to talk to you earlier, but I didn’t wanna interrupt you and Nesta.” Liar, he thought, scolding himself.

“As if that’s ever stopped you before.” Feyre trudged down the steps, eventually circling round to stand right next to Rhys and lean back, staring up at the stars alongside him. It reminded him a little bit of high school, moments like this.

“Maybe I’ve gotten more gentlemanly and considerate in the time we’ve been apart, did you ever consider that?”

“Absolutely not.”

The two of them grinned at one another, quiet laughs exchanged between them. This was the Feyre he had missed.

“So…” Rhys shifted on his feet uncomfortably. This subject was going to have to come up sooner or later. “Engaged at twenty-one, huh?”

“Ah, yeah. It only happened a few months ago.” Feyre held up her left hand next to her face - even in the low moonlight, Rhys could see the ring on her finger. It was absolutely encrusted in jewels, a heart-shaped emerald set and surrounded by far too many diamonds for his taste. It definitely screamed Tamlin to anybody who might know the two of them.

“Well, that’s gotta be exciting. How are you dealing with wedding planning on top of college? You’ve still got about a year left on your fine arts degree, right?”

“Oh, uh. I would have, yeah.” Her hands slid into her pockets, gaze falling back down to her feet.

Rhys turned to her with a quiet ferocity in his eyes, though not at her. He wouldn’t really…? “Would have?”

“Yeah, I… dropped out of college.”

Oh, that motherfucker. “You worked so fucking hard for that scholarship, though - what happened? Like, if it’s what was best for you, I’m not one to judge, but… Fuck, Feyre, I know how much you worked toward that goal.”

“Well, I was trying to work my part-time job while studying still, but all of that on top of having to accompany Tamlin to a lot of his business trips in the last year meant that I kept missing a lot of classes. Art isn’t exactly a degree that’s compatible with remote learning, and he said that if it was too hard to keep up with all those obligations that I didn’t have to. That he was happy to keep looking after everything, y’know, career wise. I could keep art as a hobby without the pressure of grades and trying to make a big name or something. I couldn’t come up with a reason to say no.”

“‘Because I love art’ is a perfectly valid reason, you know.”

“I know, but I… I’m tired, Rhys. I’m so, so fucking tired. I don’t even draw anymore. I just want a minute to breathe.” Feyre’s hands dragged down her face, drawing out a miserable whine as she shuffled closer, moving to rest her head on Rhys’ shoulder. A beat passed between them before Feyre reached up, taking the cigarette that was dangling from Rhys’ fingers between her own and putting it to her lips with a deep inhale. “You don’t mind, do you?”

Rhys would have killed to be that cigarette in that moment, pressed to her lips so tenderly. “No, be my guest. After all those smokes I bummed off of you in high school, I feel like this makes up for it.” He moved an arm around her shoulders, pulling Feyre a little closer and giving her what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

“Feyre…”

“If you’re going to get on my ass about getting back to college, I’m going to stop you right there.”

“No, no. I just… Yeah, it took me by surprise, but I just want you to be happy at the end of the day. If you think that marrying Tamlin and keeping up appearances at his business trips is what’s going to make you happy, I’m not going to stop you.” Rhys looked down at Feyre and plucked the smoke straight from her mouth, savouring the burn in the back of his throat as he tried to push the thought of just how intimate a moment this felt out of his mind. “But is it going to make you happy?”

She looked up at him, her blue-grey eyes meeting his. All Rhys could see was apprehension, confusion and sadness roiling within them. It made his heart clench so tightly he could barely stand it - Feyre deserved better than someone who touted her around like a pet on a leash.

“...I don’t know. I don’t know much of anything anymore.”

Maybe he could help make things better. He wanted to help make things better, make all of this go away for her. For his best friend, for the person who always brought him back to home.

“It’s never too late to… change course. Choose something different.”

He could swear he could feel a small current of electricity hum under his fingertips where they met with her arm despite her shirt.

“Like what?” There was so much hope laced into her voice.

Rhys lost his grip on the reins of his thoughts that knew better.

The cigarette in his fingers fell to the concrete as he cupped Feyre’s cheek, turning his body toward her properly as his arm slid from her shoulders to her waist and he kissed her. It was soft and gentle, with all the tenderness and care that he wanted to surround her with. That she deserved to be surrounded with. Her lips tasted like cigarette smoke and the slightly sweet notes of her lip gloss. Rhys didn’t push too hard, not wanting to overwhelm her or give her the impression that she didn’t have a choice, that he was simply trying to take.

Her hands slowly raised to his face, pulling him slightly closer, and he pulled her against his body properly in turn. He could feel her heartbeat picking up pace against his, the way she felt a little more relaxed against him - Rhys could almost die a happy man.

Until she pulled away.

“Rhys, I-”

“Fuck, fuck, Feyre, I’m so sorry-”

“No, I’m- I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have done that.” Her fingers were trembling, held to her lips in what could almost be mistaken for reverence, if he hadn’t known any better.

“We can pretend nothing happened, I made a stupid fucking-”

“You weren’t the only one at fault, Rhys.”

There was only a few steps distance between them after Feyre had pulled away, but it felt like a thousand miles now.

“Still, I’m so fucking so-”

“I think… Maybe we need some space. I’m not going to cheat on my fiance with you. I don’t- I can’t think clearly when I’m around you.”

He could feel his stomach drop straight to the ground, filled with lead and regret.

“...Okay.” It was all he could manage to say.

“I’m… I’ll let you know. When I’m ready to see you again.” Her voice shook relentlessly.

“But until then?” His voice was shaky. He knew what she was going to say, but it wouldn’t make it hurt any less.

“...Until then, nothing. Please don’t call me, Rhysand. Not for a while. I need time.”

Feyre wiped at her eyes and mouth a little, taking a deep breath before striding back up the stairs and inside again with that mask, that fucking mask, plastered on her face once more.

Rhys didn’t even bother heading back inside. He went through the side gate of the yard, making his way through the front yard and into his car, sending Cassian a text apologising for bailing early before driving home in complete silence. Guilt, rage, shame and regret slithered across Rhys’ skin and inside his guts relentlessly without a moment of reprieve from the moment he had left and they showed no signs of stopping as he got home, parked his car and rode the elevator up to his apartment. The moment he had finally gotten inside, Rhys slid to the ground against the back of the door.

For the first time in a long while, Rhys sat there with his knees to his chest, and cried. Cried at all he had wanted, all he had and hadn’t done, and all that wouldn’t be.

#feysand #rhysand x feyre archeron #fanfiction #rhysand #feyre archeron #acotar #actoar fanfiction #friends to lovers

[arimiaromage]

thoughts about dgm chapter 251

gonna throw my thoughts about these new revelations here.

bookman jr or past!allen?

she got us good! I was in shock when I first read it (all my headcanons about pasta, out the window! thrown! chunked!) but now I'm more fine with it.

I believe what happened was that hoshino drew the bookman jr in those flashbacks with nea on purpose - she wanted us to think that was allen and bookman jr. the flashbacks aren't past!allen with longer hair, this is definitely the bookman jr, as we can tell now.

it also makes more sense now why "allen" was talking about high concepts like the spiral being the force for life - it really was a bookman!

I fully think she did this switcharoo on purpose. if we look at her most recent livestream (translated by ponkotsubluuues), someone comments that they were shocked past!allen and bookman jr weren't the same person. her response is basically "yes, I know". she's not surprised people would think that, this was probably deliberately on purpose.

bookman jr & past!allen

okay, now on to some thoughts on who they actually are. I won't stick long here as we'll probably find out in just a few months and we don't have much to go on right now.

personally, I don't really care to ever meet allen's blood relatives. it's never interested me who he's "actually" related to and I always felt it would add even more complicated feelings for him and even more complexity to an already messy as hell family & relationship tree.

that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if bookman jr and allen are some kind of family unit, be it blood related or not. when they begin talking about the two of them as separate people, lucia refers to them as "two young men". so they're probably not father and son, but I could see them as brothers or some sort of brotherhood if they're not blood related.

maybe past!allen is a traveling clown who toured the world with bookman jr LOL.....?

either way, bookman jr was so compelled to protect allen & nea that he gave his life for them. I'm so, so eager to see their bond.

cross marian

who the hell is cross marian in all of this?

we know the cross has been around since almost adam's time, having been with mana and nea since they were children-

so we know that regardless of who is he, he's known about and visited the campbell manor for decades.

in this chapter, they even bring him up by name.

not only does allen ask about him, but lucia talks a bit about him as well.

and note that they're not saying something like "my master left a message for me" and lucia just goes along with it- allen says "my master cross" and lucia continues by saying his full name. she knows exactly who he's talking about.

(allen specifically says "cross shishou" = "master cross" but lucia called him "cross marian")

to me, this is one of the main reasons I don't believe cross is bookman jr. I believe he's somehow tied to the bookman, but I don't think he's the missing jr. if he was, why does lucia refer to him as cross here but not later? she clearly knows who allen is referring to, so wouldn't the bookman have searched for cross and found him with relative ease, given he was at the order for quite a while with bookman & lavi up until apocryphos attacked him?

lucia and the master only refer to bookman jr as "junior", not cross marian. if you're desperately looking for cross marian and are fully aware allen knows who that is, then why not call him that? what do you have to lose at this point?

and furthermore, if cross was this bookman jr, how did he forget who HE made the host? how did he lose allen? redarm!allen looks a lot more like this new past!allen and they both have redish brown hair - if you were traveling with this guy, you should be able to recognize him even if he's de-aged like 8 years, ESPECIALLY once mana takes him in and his hair becomes styled the exact same way.

I know we always have the deus ex machina of apocryphos' memory changing but I really don't want that to be the case for every character, the more you do it the more it becomes a contrivance.

cross definitely has SOME connection to the bookman, I don't feel like his mask and knowledge of bookman things is entirely a red herring. lucia makes it sound like cross reached out to them regarding the campbell manor, but I'll get to that in a bit.

the other leading theory is that cross is cyrus campbell, katerina's brother and head of the family. I feel like this holds a bit more water than him being a bookman, as it'd explain why he was the campbell manor when mana and nea were so young (and presumably before nea became a noah) and why he has worked so tirelessly for both of them.

remember, his innocence maria greatly resembles katerina. it's possible this is katerina's corpse, being infested by innocence. maybe this is from innocence cross was carrying finding its way to her corpse or maybe it was a failed attempt to save her, we don't really know yet.

(I'm not fully convinced about the cyrus theory either though, as why does nea refer to cross as cross instead of cyrus or uncle? how would the order not know about his family and how obviously tied to the noah he is? how could he not recognize allen, his nephew's most trusted friend?)

there have been some theories that maybe the campbells are a bookman family, which may be the case and would help explain why cross has a connection to both, but the way lucia words this part makes me think otherwise.

she makes it sound like the campbell manor wasn't always under their jurisdiction, that it came to be that way but wasn't always. but that might be pulling at straws. I just don't think she'd word it this way if cross = bookman jr.

I'm not fully convinced about either theory about cross as I see holes in both of them. just have to wait and see~

personally I'd still like it if cross was just a childhood friend who got way too attached but we'll see 😂 or maybe he was just pining for katerina from afar....

crown clown

I feel pretty confident now that this is past!allen being hugged by bookman jr, possibly for the last time / as bookman jr's way to protect him.

but I also can't help but feel.... it reminds me of crowned clown, you know? the way it wraps around allen, covering him in an attempt to protect him. even the cut off tips. it really reminds me of that.

the bookman are no stranger to innocence. we also don't know when allen acquired his innocence- did past!allen have it? or...... did bookman jr give it to him as he was dying? did he think it would protect him and nea (and why would he give a noah innocence)?

I would not be surprised if there was some connection between bookman jr and allen's innocence.

allen

I absolutely loved this part.

the pure conviction in his face. no regrets. he finally has a chance to clear up his mind, to cast away the fear he's dealt with for so long about who he actually is. so, so good.

but........ WHO IS ALLEN WALKER????? the burning question. who knows at this point.

I'm very excited to see the next parts, even if it apparently isn't the 35 year flashback (her own words, from the aforementioned livestream) - I assume it'll be a flashback to past!allen meeting nea possibly, or them finding out nea isn't a typical noah, or some major event that happened before shit went down.

yeah that's about it, see yall next time ✌️

#dgm #dgrayman #d gray man #dgm spoilers #dgm theories

[celesteskingdom]

Character Rambles

As somebody who's taken a class or two about creative writing and has analyzed characters for projects, I just want it known how much I love them. On a surface level, there are cliches but not in the way where it's a cliche cliche. No, they go so much deeper than that! It makes my blood pump. First of all, you have the main protagonist. Nowadays, it's a bit hard finding a good female protagonist but here we are. Ashlyn does ballet and dance and yet--just as ballerinas actually are-- she's resilient and tough. Delicate? Soft? No. She'll kick your ass, so don't try her. An introvert that isn't shy, but she is socially inept. Aiden! Extrovert meets introvert! Will they be fast friends? Hell no! She ran away from him. Literally tried to stay away from him. I know people like to call him a psycho but he really isn't. He's a complex character; he's unhinged, yes. But calling him a psycho isn't right. Despite being an extrovert, he is socially inept. It's an interesting combo! Chaotic, easy-go-lucky, but one wrong move..and wow. Ben! Ah, my bias is strong for this one. Violent guy with anger issues. Oversimplified, honestly! Oh nooo, he's gonna be dangerous and hurt his friends! Just kidding; he's going to listen to music to calm down, or he'll literally simply walk away. While there are times he'll act on his impulses and his temper gets the best of him, he's never hurt any of his friends. It's only in extreme cases that he'll act on his impulses. God. His passion--his love--was taken away from him. He was quite literally failed by the system for not stopping the bullying before it became irreversible. He doesn't talk. Not even in the extreme and intense moments, he doesn't utter a single word. I love seeing selective mutism being represented in media. And yet, despite not talking, he's still able to communicate effectively. He's so, so caring and sweet too. You can tell in the backgrounds of many panels of how caring and sweet he is. And while he is still rather lost in the direction of his life, opting to simply follow Aiden around, you can see him enjoying his time with the rest of the team. It's like. Gradually allowing him to find himself again.

It's about to be 2 am as I'm writing this, so stay tuned for part two! (P.S. I do write scenarios!)

#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #ben clark #ashlyn banner #aiden clark #sbg (webtoon) #sbg #aiden sbg #ashlyn sbg #sbg ben

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 46: This Machine

''We all danced in fire, trapped in this machine! Don't know how long we've waited, as the Eggman's watching! We all danced in fire, looking thru the screen! Don't know how long we've waited, as the Eggman watches!''

– This Machine by Sonic Heroes (Team Dark Theme)

xXxXxXx

''Sir! Are you certain that this is a good idea?''

Dr. Eggman has grown quite irritated having Dr. Starline follow him around, constantly questioning his decisions and suggesting alternative solutions. He already knew what he was doing and he wasn't going to let the platypus dictate how he was doing his business.

''Oh, I'm absolutely sure…'' Eggman replied, trying not to show just how annoyed he was by Starline's constant questioning. ''As a matter of fact, I was sure the last hundred times you had asked me that.''

''Well, I am just trying to make sure that your plan is completely solid, Sir. You do have a contingency plan, right?'' Starline asked eagerly, with Eggman taking a deep breath and suddenly turning around, giving Starline a sinister smile.

''Yes, Starline, I have a contigency plan. Shoot until everything has turned to dust,'' Eggman told him, with Starline rising an eyebrow instead of being intimidated.

''But…''

''No more of that!'' Eggman turned on his heel, walking away. ''Ferra, Metal Sonic!''

''Yes, Doctor?'' Ferra and Metal Sonic walked up to Eggman. Admittedly, since their alliance with Team Neos, the two decided to see this situation as a vacation. Even if ARMS was primarly focused on Team Neos, both Ferra and Metal Sonic understood that they would also become targets, especially if ARMS learned about their connection to the Eggman Empire. So, the smarter option here was to lay low.

''You two will keep an eye on this place until I'm back,'' Eggman told them, with Starline giving him a baffled look. ''I know ARMS would never be able to piece together where the headquarters of the Eggman Empire is, but this more of a precaution.''

''S-Sir, wait a second, why them? You could just put me in charge!'' Starline protested.

''I could've put you in charge, but I didn't because you've been constantly questioning my decisions,'' Eggman replied.

''But… I was only trying to help!'' Starline replied, still stunned.

''Then you can use the spare time to figure out how to help me properly!'' Eggman told him in a sharp tone, walking away while being followed by Orbot and Cubot. Starline was still baffled, his beak slightly open as he stared at the Doctor walking away in stunned silence. He then huffed, shooting a glare at Ferra and Metal Sonic.

''I assume you two are happy now,'' he said, tapping with his foot and his arms crossed on his chest. Ferra and Metal Sonic gave him the most deadpan look they could manage.

''We're never happy,'' Ferra replied. Starline scoffed, walking away.

''Well, I can certainly do better. This alliance the Doctor has with Team Neos will soon be over, so we need to prepare our next move. I will make sure that the action we take will be their downfall,'' Starline told her, vanishing into the next room. Ferra sighed.

''You know, I think the reason Eggman told us to keep an eye on this place is less because of ARMS and more because he wanted someone to babysit Starline,'' she told Metal Sonic.

Metal Sonic nodded in response.

xXx

''Do you think that Eggman will actually keep his end of the deal?'' Minami asked Lucas, who could only sigh in frustration and shrug.

''Well, he was the one who told us to come here and that he'll pick us up. While I know that he will backstab us eventually, I assume that's going to happen after we storm ARMS HQ,'' Lucas responded, only to pause for a moment, narrowing his eyes. ''Although, I suppose he might as well just abandon us there, but I'm sure we'll be able to find our way back.''

The rest of Team Neos didn't look too convinced. Last night, they had one more group call with both Team Dark and Dr. Eggman, talking about their next step. Team Dark had provided them with a map of ARMS HQ and other information in regards to the facility, the agents and what the easiest way of breaking inside would be. Eggman had told them that he would take care of their means of transportation and agreed to be their back-up, as he wasn't going inside the HQ. Team Neos was fine with that, with Tails and Warren presenting the blackmail material to everyone and revealing that they would be able to send it to anyone they wanted, meaning that depending on what ARMS answer is, their secrets will be leaked to the public.

They all agreed to meet up at the Codex Research Facility, and were now waiting for Eggman to arrive with their means of transportation. What they didn't expect was that a huge aircraft would suddenly materialize above their heads.

''Huh, what's that?'' Silver asked, his jaw dropping. Team Neos was completely stunned to see the aircraft as it got lowered down. Thanks to the fight between Team Dark and Mephiles and Toshiro, the crystal walls did tear through the tree line, allowing for more space for the aircraft.

''Is that the Egg Carrier?! No, it can't be…'' Minami said, shaking his head.

''As you can see, it can! Now, get inside before I change my mind!'' Eggman's voice suddenly boomed through the loudspeakers. Minami exchanged looks with her teammates, following them into the aircraft while muttering under her breath, ''How the hell did he hear what I said?''

Once inside the Egg Carrier, Team Neos was greeted by Orbot and Cubot. ''If you could please follow us to the cockpit. The Boss awaits you.''

Team Neos did as they were told, finding Eggman in the pilot seat and turning towards them. ''As per our agreement, I will bring you to ARMS HQ. However, I will leave all the liberation and fighting to you. If you fail, I'm leaving you behind.''

''Have some faith, Egghead,'' Sonic said, with Eggman shooting him a glare because of the insulting nickname. ''I've been waiting to storm the ARMS HQ for days, and knowing what we know, we'll be out in no time.''

''Only if Commander Williams decides to co-operate,'' Eggman said, pausing for a moment and humming in thought. ''Maybe I should just raze ARMS HQ to the ground.''

Lucas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ''Even if we agreed to that, I doubt that we would be even achieve exactly what we want. I'm not arguing against that ARMS needs to go now, but not this way.''

''Suit yourself, but I wouldn't mind dropping some of my specialized Badniks as punishment for even daring to go after one of my Egg Bases,'' Eggman replied, turning back to the controls.

''How come we hadn't noticed the Egg Carrier? Does it have some kind of cloaking device installed?'' Tails asked, walking up to the Doctor. Eggman grinned.

''Ah, so you noticed! Indeed, I added some nifty surprises to the Egg Carrier to make conquest much easier,'' he said proudly, only to see literally all of Team Neos just giving him an unimpressed glare. He narrowed his eyes, well aware that their collective gaze meant that they weren't going to let him get away with this.

xXx

''So, ready to break out?'' Touka asked, with Shadow, Rouge and Omega giving her a determined, if not eager look. They were currently at Touka and Shadow's room, preparing for the eventual mayhem that would soon occur. They knew that Dr. Eggman would be transporting Team Neos somewhere close to ARMS HQ and for their part, there were three important things they needed to to. First, get Team Neos inside ARMS HQ without too much fuss. Second, fight their way through to the Commander and the main control room. Third, they needed to negotiate their own freedom with the Commander.

''We will show no mercy,'' Omega said, quite excited about the upcoming fight.

''Omega and I will join you as soon as possible once we get the keycard for my collar,'' Rouge said. Once the plan was set, she realized that the ensuing chaos would be exactly what she needed to finally steal the keycard she needed, and with Omega as backup, she was certain that no one would pay too much attention to her.

''Now, all that's left is to wait for the right moment and hope the Commander won't suddenly call for us,'' Shadow said, holding his own AR Visor in his hand, only to place on top of his head. He was done hiding it from the other ARMS agents.

Fortunately for them, they didn't have to wait too long, as Shadow got a sudden message from Sonic, simply saying ''We're here.'', along with the tracker turned on, showing their location. Shadow smirked, turning to the rest of Team Dark.

''It's time,'' he said, linking hands with Touka, and performing Chaos Surge. Then, he warped away, leaving the three alone. Touka then turned to Rouge and Omega.

''We should also go, since they'll be in the main building,'' she said, her dark brown eyes now glowing a crimson red and orange. The three then exited the room, and while several agents did take note of their fast pace as they went to the main building, no one questioned anything.

xXx

Eggman had landed the Egg Carrier at a more wooded area close to ARMS HQ, but fortunately far enough to keep it hidden from it. Team Neos has already walked out of the aircraft, all of them powered up via Chaos Surge and waiting in anticipation. There was a sudden flash of light, revealing Shadow as he had Chaos Controlled to their location, giving them a firm look. Sonic walked up to him with a wide smile, only to get confused by Shadow's response.

''You're late again, Hedgehog,'' Shadow told him. Sonic was puzzled, only to realize what Shadow was referring to and snort in amusement.

''Well, I wanted to be here several days ago, but you know how things are…'' Sonic said, with Lucas approaching the two.

''We're ready to go. I guess Touka, Rouge and Omega are also ready,'' he told Shadow.

''They should be at the main building at this point,'' Shadow said, getting surrounded by the rest of the team. His eyes then flared up as he extended his hand. ''Chaos Control!''

xXx

It only took a moment, but the intruder alarm started blaring, with the ARMS agents being directed towards the main building. Touka had already separated from Rouge and Omega, who left to get the keycard, while she was running towards where Team Neos would be. Fortunately for her, none of the agents suspected her of having anything to do with this, at least until she snapped her fingers, summoning a Chaos Spear and using it as a melee weapon to fight off the agents that were going after her friends.

One of the agents managed to dodge a swipe of the Chaos Spear, reaching for the baton she was carrying that suddenly crackled with electricity. ''We have a traitor among our ranks!''

The agent swung down the baton, but Touka was faster, dodging it and hitting the female agent in the gut, then fired the Chaos Spear into the Irregular who attempted to assist her. Touka then kept running, summoning another Chaos Spear and trying to clear the way, only to stop when a man with a bigger frame stopped her. He attempted to grab her, but was suddenly knocked down by a blue ball of spikes and fur.

''Thanks, Sonic!'' she said, with the ball unfurling himself.

''You're welcome, but are we going in the right direction? I may have taken a wrong turn,'' Sonic said, looking back at the hallway he came from. Suddenly, Knuckles and Lily emerged, both upercutting an Irregular and his human partner, their fists crackling with red energy.

''Hey, aren't we supposed to go that way?'' Lily asked, pointing down at the corridor ahead.

''Yeah!'' Touka replied, her and Sonic joining them. At the back of the corridor, they saw Silver and Makoto forming a cyan barrier to stop the ARMS agents from advancing, while Shadow and Lucas were at the front, Shadow leading Team Neos to the main control room. Tails, Warren, Amy and Minami were in the middle, fighting off any agents coming from the side corridors. Touka and Sonic went ahead, with Sonic joining Shadow in spin-dashing another Irregular that was blocking their path.

''This way!'' Touka called out, with the group following her lead. While Team Dark did describe the layout of the building, even providing them with a crude map drawing, Team Neos was still relying on Touka and Shadow to lead them there directly. Unfortunately for them, ARMS HQ had additional defenses aside from the agents and Irregulars, with a heavy metallic door slamming down as they got closer to the core of the building.

''Oh, no, you won't!'' Amy shouted, her and Minami slamming their hammers into the metallic door and breaking through it, allowing for Team Neos to pass.

It took them a bit, but they had eventually managed to get to the main control room, with Sonic rushing inside and quickly knocking out the agents who guarded it. Tails went after him, connecting the Miles Electric to the main computer, with him and Warren doing the final bit that would hopefully secure their friends' freedom and ARMS' downfall, while the rest of the team was keeping an eye out on the hallway outside. There were those they had knocked out, but there were no new enemies to fight against.

''Where are Rouge and Omega?'' Makoto asked since, according to their plan, they were supposed to meet up here. The moment he asked that question, they heard an explosion, followed by some cursing.

''I believe that that was Omega,'' Silver said. He and Makoto had used their psychokinesis to move away the unconscious bodies of the ARMS agents and placed barriers on both ends of the hallway, but removed one when they saw Rouge and Omega walking towards them, with Omega pointing his cannon arm at Commander Williams who had his hands lifted up in surrender.

''Look at who we had managed to find,'' Rouge said, waving at Team Neos. She was twirling the collar that was on her neck around her finger, holding a keycard in her other hand, before throwing both of them away.

''You will pay for this betrayal!'' Commander Williams growled, glaring at Rouge, who just gave him an unimpressed look.

''You have no power here, Commander. Omega, do you want to remind him of that?'' she said.

''Commander Williams, do you wish to die by a bullet to the head or a missile to the back?'' Omega said gleefully, having had exploded several parts of the building in his attempt to act as Rouge's back-up. Commander Williams gritted his teeth, refusing to respond, but the trail of sweat made it clear that he understood that he had no say in how things would go.

He was then led into the main control room, with Lucas closing the door behind him and pointing at the microphone at the computer. ''Tell the ARMS Agents to stand down. We are here to negotiate and we'd like to do it without having to fight them constantly.''

Commander Williams shot him a glare, but given how the room was filled with people who had no issue of beating him up to a bloody pulp and he was completely defenseless, he knew that he would have to do as he was told. He walked up to the computer, activating the loudspeaker.

''This is Commander Roy Williams. All ARMS agents, stand down. I repeat, all ARMS agents, stand down. Do not engage into any further fighting,'' he said, stepping back and turning towards Team Neos and Team Dark, his stern expression mirroring theirs. ''What do you want from me? What is the meaning of this breach?''

''I assume you already know who we are, but I'd still like to properly introduce myself,'' Lucas said, stepping towards the Commander. ''My name is Lucas Kinomoto, and I am the leader of Team Neos. You have made the mistake of kidnapping two of my teammates, which is why we have attacked ARMS HQ. We are here to bring them back home.''

''Forget it. I won't let any of my agents go, and as for you, I will have all of you arrested and imprisoned,'' Commander Williams threatened, feeling furious about this situation. This group of teenagers and their Irregular ARNavs just stormed a military base, beat up his agents with the help of Team Dark and were now making such a ridiculous demand. He was not going to let them get away with this.

Upon hearing this, Sonic turned to Tails, holding out his hand. ''Tails, give me the the Miles Electric.''

''Uh, sure,'' Tails said, a bit confused, only for Sonic to walk up and sit down on the control panel, now being at a height where he was eye-to-eye with the Commander.

''I will give you one last chance,'' Sonic suddenly rose his voice, with everyone inside the room turning towards him. He was uncharacteristically serious, his tone low and calm, to the point that even Shadow was giving him a stunned look, as he never saw Sonic act like this. ''Release my friends, or you will suffer the consequences.''

''No, I won't-'' Commander Williams cut himself off when Sonic shot him a cold glare, pressing a button on the Miles Electric. Suddenly, a new window popped up on the screen, showing a red uploading line, already getting to 5%. ''Wait- What is that?''

''This is all of the information we have gathered about ARMS, and it is being uploaded online for all the public to see,'' Sonic replied. Commander Williams' eyes widened.

''You're kidding me!''

''You hurt my friends. I'm dead serious,'' Sonic told him in a cold tone, then smirked. ''It also pays off to have a genius as your little bro.''

He then turned to Tails, who was now hovering next to him, and both gave each other a high-five. Commander Williams remained shocked.

''Y-You're bluffing! There is no way you could've had any access to ARMS-related information…'' he trailed off when another screen suddenly popped up, obscuring the line below, which was now at 13%.

''They aren't bluffing, Commander. In fact, they had made an alliance with me. My own genius allowed them to access any information ARMS was hiding,'' Dr. Eggman said. Commander Williams turned back to Team Neos and Team Dark furiously.

''So, all this time, you worked for Dr. Eggman?!'' he growled, only to get startled when Eggman scoffed.

''Bah, as if! Team Neos is not affiliated with the Eggman Empire, and the only reason we're allied at all was because of your foolish actions,'' Eggman told him, clasping his hands and placing them on the panel in front of him as he leaned closer. ''As you have already learned, the terms of the negotiation for Team Neos are the release of Team Dark. I'm here to add my own terms…''

''Do you really believe that I would do anything like that?!'' Commander Williams shouted furiously. Eggman just rolled his eyes.

''So stubborn…'' he muttered. ''I believe Kinomoto and the Blue Rodent have told you that you have no say in this and that it would be smarter for you to just go along with our demands.''

''Y-You can't just blackmail me!'' Commander Williams protested, but seeing the line at 50%, he realized that he was running out of time.

''You blackmailed Shadow and Touka, so we decided to do the same,'' Sonic responded, then glanced around at the room, locking eyes with Shadow, who nodded in acknowledgement. Commander Williams gritted his teeth, gazing at the line on the screen again and seeing that it got to 53%.

''You-'' He was clearly struggling with his decision. On one hand, he knew that he would lose Project Shadow if he agreed to this, a project that had been in development for more than a decade. On the other hand, he also knew that he was screwed if any of the military secrets get out to the public. Not only would he lose his position, but he would be the one sitting in prison for this. He hissed through his teeth, ''Fine! Agents Sakamoto,…'' Commander Williams almost flinched when Touka shot him a venomous glare. ''Agh, Agents Kageura, Shadow, Rouge and Omega are free to leave.''

''You will also swear to never pursue them again and to let them have their freedom to live their life as they wish,'' Sonic said, earning a hateful glare from the Commander.

''Not only that, but ARMS will also not meddle in the business of Team Neos, as well as delete any information you have on us. We are not your enemy, Commander Williams. We just want to protect Neos City from anyone who wants to hurt the people that live there, be that an Irregular or a human,'' Lucas added, earning the same hateful glare as Sonic did.

''Lastly, ARMS will also not meddle in the affairs of the Eggman Empire, or any battles between Team Neos and myself,'' Eggman said, with Commander Williams giving him a somewhat confused look.

''What?''

''It seems that you either don't understand or don't know, but I don't like having outsiders interrupting this game. The only players allowed so far are Team Neos and their allies. ARMS doesn't have that privilege,'' Eggman told him.

''I won't just stand on the side and watch-''

''That's why we're here,'' Sonic interrupted him, giving the Commander a determined look. ''This is what we do. This is what I do! We are all willing to fight for what is right.''

''You're just a bunch of teenagers…'' Commander Williams trailed off when Touka and Shadow suddenly stepped up.

''Yeah, we are teenagers, but you still forced us to work as ARMS agents,'' Touka pointed out angrily. ''All we wanted was to live a normal life outside the Codex Research Facility and you took that away from us! We didn't ask to be created or live this kind of life!''

''Don't make this harder for yourself, Commander. Your hypocrisy will be your downfall,'' Shadow added, arms folded across his chest. Commander Williams looked back at the line, which was now at 79%. Time was of the essence.

''Fine! You have my word that ARMS won't meddle anymore in any of your affairs, and you can live your life however you want. Now stop that upload!'' Commander Williams growled. Sonic got off the control panel, still holding the Miles Electric and strolling over to Shadow.

''I guess I'm not the only one who kind of ran out of patience. Should we go home?'' he asked, giving Shadow an innocent smile. Shadow smirked at him.

''We have no business here anymore. I agree that we should leave now,'' he said. Before the Commander could even react, both Team Neos and Team Dark gathered around Shadow, whose body was crackling with energy due to Chaos Surge.

''Chaos Control!''

''W-Wait!'' Commander Williams shouted, but the group had already vanished. His attention turned back to the screen, with Dr. Eggman being gone as well, but the line remained, showing that it was at 85% and continuing the upload. His eyes widened in shock and despair as he realized that Team Neos had no intent on cancelling the leakage of information.

xXx

''Finally! It's over!'' Lily exclaimed, stretching her arms as Team Neos and Team Dark found themselves back at the wooded area where the Egg Carrier was. ''Now we can go home!''

''I'd say that we should celebrate this! This is a big victory for us!'' Minami said, with everyone giving her a look of interest.

''Yeah, this calls for a big party!'' Sonic said excitedly.

''I suppose we could celebrate this at my home. Knuckles and I will arrange everything,'' Lily said, with he rest of the group cheering in approval and getting into the Egg Carrier, and Rouge and Touka trying to convince Omega not to blow up Eggman yet as they still needed to return home. The last ones to climb inside were Sonic and Shadow, with Sonic having given the Miles Electric back to Tails, the upload having been complete.

''That was a quite decisive behavior you had displayed earlier,'' Shadow commented, drawning Sonic's attention.

''You think it was decisive?'' Sonic asked in a sheepish tone, rubbing the back of his head. ''I don't know… I did come off as a bit… rough and cold, I guess.'' He then stopped walking, only to snort in amusement. ''Actually, when I think about it, I kinda sounded like you.''

Shadow rose an eyebrow. ''So, I sound rough and cold?''

''Well, now that I think about it… You actually sound way warmer than before,'' Sonic said, scratching his cheek and grinning. ''It's actually really nice and calming to listen to you talk.''

Shadow remained speechless, being genuinely surprised by the compliment. He then tried to play it cool. ''I suppose I will also have to listen to you talk as well.''

''Heh, I missed you too, Shadow,'' Sonic replied, taking note of how tense Shadow looked and just figuring that the latter wasn't going to admit that he missed his rival as well.

xXx

Kisaki sighed, feeling quite sick. Physically, she was actually fine, but mentally, she felt ill. The past few days had put her under a lot of stress and she felt like she was at her wits' end. The fact that she couldn't do anything to protect Touka and Shadow from ARMS and had to forget about their existence left her with pure nightmares. She was worried sick about them and felt incredibly helpless. She had some idea that Sonic and his friends might try to get them back, but so far, she heard nothing from Team Neos.

''Huh?''

Kisaki suddenly stood up from the couch she was sitting on, fear gripping her. She didn't expect any visitors and she was afraid that those were ARMS agents opening the door. For a moment, she held her breath, only to see two figures entering the house.

''Kisaki?''

Kisaki's eyes widened in pure shock, her heart racing. ''Touka? Shadow? Are you-?''

''We're home,'' Touka said, her and Shadow standing in the hallway. Suddenly, Kisaki rushed towards the two, pulling both of them into a tight embrace and falling on her knees, crying her heart out.

''I thought I'd never see you two again!'' she said through her tears, her grip around them tightening, as if she feared that they would vanish if she didn't. Touka and Shadow remained silent, well aware that nothing needed to be said. They weren't going anywhere. They were safe.

They were at home.

xXx

''…the military and security branch, the Advance Reconnaissance & Mission Support, also shortened as ARMS, has been under heavy scrutinity by the Starpoint Area Self-Defense Forces (SASDF). ARMS is a specialized branch focusing on the threat of Irregulars, but now it us under investigation due to allegations of corruption, inhumane experiments on Irregulars and humans, espionage, arms trafficking and information trade,'' Midorikawa reported, turning to the holographic screen behind her. ''As you can see on the comment board behind me, the wider public has already been made aware of the situation via an anonymous online leak that had spread at the speed of light. The SASDF has made the statement that they had nothing to do nor do they approve of ARMS actions and that they will be taking the appropriate steps to shut down and reform ARMS.''

''I suppose that anyone who was a firm believer in anti-military conspiracy theories is now celebrating,'' Kero said, trying to joke, with Midorikawa shrugging.

''I don't know, but I'm just here to deliver the news, not analyze them,'' Midorikawa replied, turning back to the camera. ''But what I do know is that public opinion is very low, especially because the existence of ARMS had been kept a secret. People are calling for ARMS to be shut down and instead have the funding go into the Irregular Hunters organization, especially due to the recent losses they had suffered.''

''We also have a video circling on online forums and social sites that confirms the existence of Irregulars that show no signs of aggressivness, but were still treated with nothing but complete cruelty. We will show this video, but viewer discretion advised due to the disturbing content,'' Kero added. What followed next was a quite disturbing video of an Irregular cat, pleading for her life, getting electrocuted by one of the ARMS agents, while another agent off-screen could be heard wondering why they were doing this, since they had even mistaken the Irregular for a regular ARNav due to her having shown no aggressive behavior or even try to drain the BioEnergy.

''That's horrifying…'' Lily commented, with her and her friends watching the news broadcast on a huge holographic screen in the yard at the Crystle Mansion. It was late evening, with the flood lights being turned on inside the yard.

''There is a lot more to it, but Tails and I had deleted anything in regards to us or to Project Shadow,'' Warren said. ''The last thing we need is more attention from the public.''

''Honestly, thank you two for your work! If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be able to get Touka, Shadow, Rouge and Omega out of ARMS, not reveal to the wider public what ARMS really is doing,'' Lucas said, with the rest of the team cheering for them.

''Thanks guys, but that's what we would do for everyone,'' Tails said. Sonic grinned, placing his hand on Tails' shoulder.

''You've done great work, little bro, and I'm really proud of you!'' Sonic told him, only for his tone to get serious. ''Now, get some sleep or I'll drag you personally to your bed and make sure you're asleep. No more late night projects. Same goes for you, Warren.''

Both Tails and Warren chuckled, having to admit that, yeah, Sonic was right and they really needed some rest… even if they wanted to work on other projects. Nevertheless, they were happy that all of their hard work has payed off.

''Speaking of Project Shadow, those two still haven't arrived,'' Rouge said, having swapped the black bodysuit for her usual black, white and pink outfit.

''Touka did send me a message that they would be a bit late because they wanted to explain to Kisaki what had happened,'' Lucas replied. ''I'm sure they'll be here soon.''

''Speak of the Devil,'' Rouge said, suddenly spotting the two missing teammates at the front gate. Touka and Shadow had soon joined them, with Touka carrying a plastic bag with her, looking around at the yard in front of the Crystle Mansion, clearly impressed by how fast Lily and Knuckles had arranged for the place to be decorated and food to be delivered for the party. As for Shadow, he was suddenly approached by Sonic.

''You're late, Faker,'' he said, giving Shadow a smug grin. Shadow snorted, just shaking his head, well aware what Sonic was referring to. Meanwhile, Touka approached Omega, holding up the plastic bag.

''Hey, Omega, could you please dispose of this for me?'' she asked.

''What kind of disposal do you desire?'' Omega asked, holding the plastic bag.

''Something that involves a lot of explosives and fire,'' Touka said casually.

''I approve of your approach,'' Omega responded.

''Uh, what's in the bag?'' Silver asked.

''It's the ARMS uniform I was given. Honestly, I want to see it burn,'' Touka replied, with her and Omega exchanging a knowing look that made everyone else uneasy.

''If you're going to burn the uniform, please don't use my yard for that,'' Lily said. Omega gave her a look of clear disapproval.

''Huh, I knew there was something different about your outfit!'' Minami suddenly exclaimed, snapping her fingers as she stared at Touka, who gave her a confused look, only to realize what Minami meant.

After removing the uniform, Touka was back to having her hair down, placing her AR Visor (after Warren and Tails returned it back to its usual settings) on top of her head, and was still wearing her dark red jeans shorts and the short black leggings underneath them, as well as her black, red and white high top tennis shoes. However, she was wearing a different T-shirt, this one being black with red sleeves and a red stripe on each side of the T-shirt that went up vertically to the sleeves, and the print on the front was the dark red logo of the Shadow the Hedgehog video game, also known as the Black Arms logo.

''Oh, that… I had actually ordered a new custom T-shirt a while ago, but never got around to wear it,'' Touka said.

''It definitely suits you better,'' Rouge said.

''Thanks. I was also planning to get new sneakers, since these are kinda worn out,'' Touka replied, tapping with her foot on the ground.

''If you want, we could all go out shopping together,'' Rouge suggested, a sly grin on her expression. Next to them, Makoto had a conversation with Lucas.

''I really hope that things won't get worse for us after we leaked that information to the public,'' Makoto said.

''I don't think it should. Point is, SASDF will be focused on trying to keep people calm and deal with ARMS. Whether they knew what ARMS was doing or not is another topic…'' Lucas trailed off, narrowing his eyes. He knew that their own future was still uncertain, but he did hope for the best.

''Hey, Shads, did you and Touka also watch the news?'' Sonic, who overheard this, asked Shadow.

''We did watch it on our way here, and we both agreed that this will cause an uproar among the public,'' Shadow replied.

''Honestly, it might even change the way how people look at Irregulars. The fact that there are Irregulars who mean no harm to humans wasn't public knowledge until now,'' Amy pointed out, joining the conversation.

''If we're lucky, you guys will be safe from being targeted by the Irregular Hunters,'' Makoto pointed out.

''I guess we'll have to wait and see how things turn out,'' Tails said.

''Don't take my word for granted, but I have a feeling that Loki has an idea who we really are,'' Sonic said. He then placed his ams behind his head, smiling. ''In any case, we're here to have some fun and celebrate, so let's just put this behind us and start the party!''

''YEAH!''

The whole group then moved on to actually having fun, either listening to the music, eating from the buffet that had been placed outside, talking or playing darts, as Lily activated the game within the AR Field that was covering the yard. Her parents were away that evening and Lily completely ignored Bennet protests about hosting a party, pointing out how this was her home and so long as nothing got broken, she was free to do whatever she wanted. Therefore, the butler decided to remain inside the mansion, as none of the guests needed his aid. Things did get a little heated when Omega offered to set off some fireworks, with Touka quickly assuring him that wasn't necessary and Lily pointing out how she told him already to not use explosives in her own yard.

Meanwhile, Rouge had stepped away from the group, having been talking to Amy about their shopping plans for tomorrow and cast a curious look towards the mansion.

''Don't you dare to go inside.'' Rouge suddenly turned around, with Knuckles standing right behind her, giving her a stern look, his arms crossed on his chest.

''Don't worry, Knuckles, I'm just here to have a good time,'' Rouge assured him.

''Since our alliance has come to an end, I am well aware that we will go back to our usual routine. Therefore, I'm warning you this once – don't you dare to even think of stealing any of the games inside the mansion,'' Knuckles warned her. Rouge just smiled, having to admit that Knuckles wasn't wrong about her antagonizing him, but she decided to give him a break today, at least in regards to trying to steal the gems. That didn't mean that she wasn't going to mess with him in a different manner.

''Oh, my, don't tell me that you actually missed me,'' she said, with Knuckles giving her a flustered look.

''Wh-What? I didn't say-'' he stuttered, but Rouge gave him a coy smile, stepping closer.

''You even called it 'our usual routine'. Not to mention, you were willing to search for me when I went missing,'' she said, placing her finger on Knuckles' chest and tracing it up to his chin. ''As a matter of fact, I think that you genuinely care about me.''

Knuckles shivered at her touch, being completely frozen in shock as he didn't expect her to pull a move like that. While he wouldn't admit it openly, he was actually a little worried about Rouge, especially after learning what kind of organization ARMS was. He did have complete faith in her ability to take care of herself, but there was a lingering sense of concern in his mind.

''I-I suppose I do…'' he started, only for Rouge to press a kiss on her gloved fingertips and place them on Knuckles' cheek. Knuckles' jaw dropped in complete shock and his mind went blank for a moment as it had trouble processing that Rouge the Bat, his sworn rival, had just kissed him indirectly. Rouge smiled, having to admit that it was quite amusing to see Knuckles' muzzle turn as red as the rest of his fur, while his mind was probably playing an ''Error'' message on loop.

''I care about you too,'' she said. ''Do you mind if I go ahead and quickly make sure that all of the gems are where they belong?''

''Wh-What?'' Knuckles was still processing what just happened.

''Aww, thank you so much, Knuckie. I'll be back soon,'' Rouge replied, spreading her wings and quickly flying towards the mansion. It took a moment for Knuckles to break out of his stunned state, with the familiar sense of rage and irritation taking over.

''Rouge! Come back! Rouge!''

Knuckles shouted after Rouge, rushing towards the mansion and almost knocking Sonic over, who decided to take a break from the darts game after losing to Silver. Apparently, only because he was good at throwing the darts fast, it meant nothing if he was precise. Nevertheless, he had a good time, and so did his friends. However, he did notice that someone was missing and decided to search for this person, but it didn't appear that he was in the yard.

Sonic then looked up, spotting a dark figure on the roof of the mansion and smirked. He managed to find his way up to the top of the roof, with Shadow giving him a slightly questioning look, well aware that Sonic was about to interrupt his moment of peace.

''Do you mind some company?'' Sonic asked, with Shadow pausing for a moment, then shaking his head. Sonic sat next to him, with Shadow taking note of just how close he was, but he didn't mind his presence. Sonic gave him a curious look. ''Why don't you join the others at the party? After all, you're one of the guests of honor.''

''While I am happy to be here, this doesn't mean that I'm going to socialize,'' Shadow responded, glancing at Sonic. His rival just grinned, understanding well that Shadow still wouldn't socialize with other people unless necessary – even if they were his own teammates. Nevertheless, that didn't mean that he didn't appreciate them.

''It seems like things are gonna go back to normal,'' Sonic said, both him and Shadow watching over their friends as they had fun.

''I don't think that you can call this kind of life normal in comparison to those of other people,'' Shadow remarked.

''Yeah, but you can now live a life without having to worry that anyone from Codex or ARMS will go after you and Touka. I'd call that a 'normal' life,'' Sonic pointed out.

''I suppose you're correct in regards to that,'' Shadow responded, feeling a sense of relief. It was as if someone removed a huge boulder from his chest and he could breathe a bit easier now. He knew that Sonic was right and that with Prof. Sakamoto being dead and ARMS not bothering them anymore, he and Touka could live a life without having to worry that they would be used as weapons again. ''It is a relief…''

Shadow was startled when he was suddenly pulled into a hug by Sonic, his own heart racing and his tan muzzle turning a faint shade of red. His crimson eyes were wide and his body tense, with his first instinct being to push Sonic away. However, he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't explain it, but there was just something about being hugged by Sonic like this, something comforting, and he wasn't really sure how to respond. But, before he could even say or do anything, Sonic had released him, giving him an awkward smile.

''Oh, right… you don't like physical contact that much,'' Sonic said, rubbing the back of his head. Shadow stared at him for a moment, only to sigh, realizing that Sonic was just happy that he was here and wanted to show it in a different way.

''Since it's you, I suppose I can give you a free pass this time…huh?'' Shadow was startled when Sonic suddenly pulled him into another hug, burying his nose into his shoulder and holding him tightly. Shadow, trying to ignore a familiar sensation of warmth, narrowed his eyes, adding in a deadpan tone, ''What I meant is that I'll give you a free pass for the hug earlier. That wasn't an invitation for more.''

''Too late, Faker. You won't get rid off me so easily,'' Sonic lifted his head, gazing into Shadow's eyes and grinning at him mischievously. Shadow remained unamused and, for a moment, he thought about his response. To Sonic's surprise, he suddenly felt Shadow's arms wrapping around his torso, with Shadow burying his head into his shoulder, pulling him as close as possible. Sonic felt a wave of heat spreading through his body, his fawn muzzle turning a slight shade of red and his heart beating like crazy. Rest assured, he never expected that Shadow would hug him back, but it wasn't an unwelcome gesture. In fact, he really enjoyed it.

''Heh, so you are a hugger,'' Sonic said, his voice carrying a comforting warmth, only for the smile to fade a moment later when Shadow spoke again.

''I don't mind getting a hug so long as it is from a person I trust. It was a source of comfort for me, especially whenever I couldn't deal with the pressure I was put under or when I suffered from nightmares,'' Shadow said in a calm, somber tone. Sonic felt his own heart breaking for Shadow.

''Shads…'' He wanted to offer words of comfort, but nothing came to his mind. His ears then perked up when he heard Shadow speak again in a sharp tone.

''If you tell this to anyone, I will personally throw you into Cosmo River,'' Shadow threatened, moving his head back and glaring at Sonic, but still keeping his hands around Sonic's waist. Sonic snorted, trying to sound as serious as he could.

''Understood,'' he said, offering a sincere smile. While Shadow still kept a stern expression, Sonic did take note that his gaze did soften a little. ''Thanks for telling me that. I'm really glad that you trust me so much.''

''It cannot be helped… After all, you are a thorn in my side,'' Shadow responded, with Sonic suddenly burying his head right into Shadow's white chest fluff.

''D'aaaww, I heart you too, Shads,'' he said.

Shadow sighed, knowing that, if Sonic had done this several weeks ago, he would've kicked his rival off the roof and yelled at him for getting so close. But now, he realized that he had warmed up enough to Sonic to let him do whatever he wanted. Shadow then buried his muzzle on top of Sonic's head, feeling the soft blue fur, and took a deep breath. It was certainly a confusing feeling, and he had to admit, it was a bit daunting to deal with it, but at this point, whatever wall he put between himself and Sonic had been broken down. He knew that he could trust Sonic with his own life, but he still wouldn't trust him with his own insecurities and show his vulnerable side… at least until now. As a matter of fact, he was looking forward to going back to their usual rivalry.

''So, do you want to race?'' Sonic's question snapped Shadow out of his thoughts, the latter having no clue how long they had remained in that embrace. Sonic, clearly clueless about that, grinned as he gave Shadow a confident smile. ''I had been itching to finally challenge you again.''

Shadow just gave him a haughty look. ''I see… I suppose I should've figured that you'd be eager to lose to me.''

''Lose?'' Sonic suddenly got up, scoffing. ''Only in your dreams, Shads. You won't catch me so easily.''

Shadow stood up, folding his arms across his chest. ''Hmph, don't get too cocky, Hedgehog. One distraction, and you'll be suffering a humiliating defeat.''

''We'll see in a bit! Ready?'' Sonic said, taking a running stance.

''Set,'' Shadow said, smirking as he felt the familiar rush of adrenaline.

''GO!''

There was a rush of wind, with the blue and black-orange blurs vanishing into the night, both determined to continue their rivalry and prove who the faster Hedgehog between them was.

Links:

#Previous Chapter

#Current Chapter

#Next Chapter

#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

#Sonic Cyber Revolution #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #silver the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #dr eggman #metal sonic #dr starline #orbot and cubot #sonic heroes #team dark #knuxouge #sonadow

[canmargesimpson]

Chapter 2:

Chapter 1

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☪ . :☆ﾟ. ───

April 30, 1996.

Eddie, who was at his studio, sat on his piano with some pens and papers, trying to figure out how the bridge of his new song should go. He spent hours, repeating over and over the melody but then stopping at the same part, since it felt like nothing could ever continue it. As if there was no follow up to the story he was writing, like if in the middle of the book the protagonist died and there was no more story at all. It frustrated him so much, he was scratching his head nervously, biting his nails and even smashing the piano tiles whenever he tried to even continue the song. Nothing seemed to work. So when his Motorola cell phone rang, he thanked god to be able to get away from the monster that has become his piano.

“Hello?”

“Eddie!” Steve’s voice called from the over side, in a quite excited way that grabbed the man's attention quickly

“Baby? Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” he asked

“Lunch break” 

“Lunch break? But it's like 10 in the morning?”

“Eddie, it's 2… have you been in the studio all day?” the shift in steve’s voice knew that if he said yes the answer would bring him trouble

“No?”

“Eddie! I’ve told you it's not healthy to spend an entire morning locked in a room with only a piano and a guitar! Go eat something, or even just go to the bathroom”

Eddie huffed knowing that Steve hated the fact Eddie spent an entire day writing and not even eating, but everytime he was there, it felt like time moved faster somehow.

“I know, I'm sorry, I'm gonna grab my jacket now and leave to go eat something alright? Now what are you calling me for?” eddie asked as he stood up from the piano stool and walked to the the little table besides the door and grab his keys

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Steve’s disappointed and warning tone changed to a giddy one which turned Eddie's heart around “So remember I told you I was gonna talk to my colleague, Sarah, whose cousin works at the Orphanage? Well, i got in contact with the director of the place, and told me we could go next Friday at 4”

“Wait really?” eddie stopped his tracks as he walked out of the studio department 

“Yes!” he exclaimed “there are about 23 kids, the age ranges are form 2-15 year old”

“I'm not adopting a two year old human, sorry” Eddie laughed nervously. He still won't be completely in love with the idea of a kid in their house, but at least he could hold a 10 minute conversation with a 6 year old. And that was progress

“I know” Steve sighed a laugh “so i told her that probably a kid from 6-12, and that we don’t really have anything in mind”

“Wait” Eddie thanked God that there was no one else in that elevator with him at this moment “you told her about… us? Like… the fact that we…”

“Are a same sex marriage? Yes'' and with that eddie sighed loudly “ she told me that she has had a lot of queer parents adopting, so it's definitely not a problem, we just need to make sure we are suitable for taking care of a minor” 

“And how-”

“It's an interview. And before you panic, no, it's not about knowledge about children” another loud sigh came from eddie “it's about it we are… responsible and economically okay to take care of a child. Then they are coming to our house to make sure the kid is gonna live in a safe and decent house. It's just regular procedure”

“Wow'' Eddie smiled, quite shocked that this might be finally happening. They might be finally adopting a kid “and how long to like… get the kid”

The other line went dead. Eddie couldn't even hear Steve’s breathing. Just by this reaction, he knew the answer was not gonna be pleasant.

“Steve?”

“Umm…. they said about…. 6 to…. 18 months?”

“18 Months!?” Eddie exclaimed loudly “Steve!”

“I know!!” he whines back

“I'm gonna be gone! Tour starts in a year and- what if i’m not there? What if the child comes into the home, and i'm not there and then when i come home they hate me? What if something happens to them or me, and I never get to meet them! Steve-”

“Eddie i know! I just… We’ve been waiting for such a long time…. There is hope that maybe it could be less. They say that if it works perfectly, it can be at least 6 months”

“For me to leave in six months? Not to forget, this tour is long, and then i have to do interviews and shit I- steve…” Eddie breathed loudly “I don’t want you to do this alone, because you and I both know it sucks not having a parent around, and I'm letting that kid go through this. I don't wanna be like you dad! I don’t want to leave for over a year, and then just come around to say happy birthday or merry christmas and then leave again! And with the new album-”

“Eddie you would never be like my father you hear me? Never.” Steve sternly said as he sat up from his desk chair to look at the window to where the kids were playing football “I just… maybe… you should just… not release the album maybe?” Steve knew he was on thin ice now.

“Not- Are you crazy?! I’ve been working my ass off with Gareth for almost 2 years now! We can’t just postpone! This is super important for me Steven, I can't just drop my entire work for a kid!”

And the line went dead. In both ends, the men were holding the phones to their ear with eyes closed looking at the floor trying to somehow make this better. To somehow change the entire universe so they could be happy and all could fit. But they can’t. So when Eddie heard the 3 beeps of the dead line, he knew he fucked up and real bad this time. 

He left for a Chinese restaurant and bought the usual. He walked back to his studio, and sat back again at the piano while he ate his chicken quietly. And then it hit him. The melody of the song suddenly crashed into him like a train and it all made sense. The story does continue, and this little rocky path made him stumble. But once he placed both hands on the keyboard the story seemed to write itself as he just played along with only one thing on his mind.

Steve.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☪ . :☆ﾟ. ───

#by: me #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie fic #steve and eddie #steve x eddie #steddie parents #dad steddie #rockstar eddie x teacher steve #steddie angst #steddie dads #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steddie parents saga!

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it

#i could write essays about how capitalism ruined the internet. #i was actually talking to someone earlier today about how youtube was kind of effectively ruined by monetisation. #and they were raised in the soviet union and we had a bit of a talk about how art was better because it wasn't for profit. #the people who made art made it because they wanted to do it and because they loved it. #she said that communism was terrible for every aspect of life for her. people's lives under communism wasn't pretty. #but the art was better. and i feel like it's true for the internet – it was better when it was a free-for-all. #the companies didn't know how to exploit it yet and turn it into a neverending profit-driven hellscape. #people created content because they wanted to. because they wanted to make something silly to make people laugh. #not for profit. not for gain. not for numbers. not to further their career. #i miss the days of newgrounds and youtube before monetisation. #capitalism has soiled everything that's joyful and good in this world. #people should be able to share whatever they want. #people should be able to tell any story they want without the fear of being silenced by advertisers. #that's what made the internet so beautiful before. anyone could do anything and we all had equal footing. #but now we're victims of the algorithm. and it makes me sick. #i'm quitting my job in social media. i'm quitting it. it makes me too depressed. i have an existential crisis every freaking day. #every day i wake up and say "ah. this is the fucking hell we live in #i'm so sorry i feel so passionate about this. #social media is a black hole and it is actively destroying humanity. forget ai. social media is what's doing it. #i miss how beautiful the internet used to be. it should've been a tool for good. but it's corrupt and evil now. #sci speaks

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

#[ mini study. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. #[ and then shortly after 'the point is: it's not time for drastic measures yet.' ] #[ /shakes ven into another dimension. ] #[ i thought the ost at the end of perilous ruined me enough. but tale of the yakshas may actually ruin me more. ] #[ also i love how i typed up the bit of the contract and 'for liyue' and zhongli in my head isn't rattling at bars but-- ] #[ he's sipping his tea (the equivalent). one day ven. i /promise/ you. one day you'll get him from me. ] #[ he'll likely be the 2nd genshin blog to run alongside yelan if/when i get to being able to run two again. ] #[ but until then. can we talk about the dynamic of xiao and yelan until we're blue in the face? i'd like to do that too. ] #[ i type this as if i'm perfectly chill but i'm not. i'm really not. the concept of self sacrifice and sacrifice as a whole. ] #[ BETWEEN THESE TWO. drives me /insane/. and part of me sits here and goes-- ] #[ god. what happened with yelan and her team down there? we know that despite every plan she ever made and prepared-- ] #[ their enemies (WHAT WERE YOU FIGHTING??) were too powerful and more specifically-- too smart. too calculating. ] #[ ... and too strong (okay literally what on earth were you fighting? are we talking the khaenri'ah soldiers? like what? or abyss mages?) ] #[ (but abyss mages don't exactly entirely fit the description in her story. ugh. UGH). ] #[ any way-- it was her and her team. /they/ all died and she didn't. yanfei describes it as... ] #[ 'knowing that your life was saved when others weren't'. surely the millilith didn't intervene or happen to arrive. yelan must've... ] #[ gotten away? or something? but that doesn't feel quite right. but i'm just sitting here left with the idea of... when you lead a team. ] #[ you bear the responsibility of even their lives. and yet despite bearing that responsibility; she's exactly the one who lived. ] #[ the only one who did. that has to be a /stupid/ burden. it's like the captain who has to go down with the ship but is the only one... ] #[ who gets to live. only one who gets to survive. i just. ] #[ i didn't think i'd love a character as much as this one. where did she come from; jesus christ. ]

[invisibleoctopus]

had a really really bad day which included me relapsing on cutting myself after i filled out the patient forms but i was too late for the appointment and my mom said she wasnt gonna reschedule it anymore so i did it and then i spiraled about how i never do anything for myself and how i hide behind saying i Cant do something and how im doing myself a disservice by being a MANCHILD!!!!!!

because OBVIOUSLY if i can make this ONE phone call under EXTREME STRESS and WEAR MYSELF OUT COMPLETELY then it means i was always able to make phone calls and i shouldve just pushed myself to insanity the other times too because I NEED TO BE MORE INDEPENDENT EVERYONE TELLS ME I NEED TO BE MORE INDEPENDENT I NEED TO BE BETTER BE BETTER BE BETTER (and thats when i felt so bad about myself i cut myself over being so terrible at living)

not to mention the whole weed thing how ive mentioned several times on this blog about not being able to afford weed but ending up Smoking Anyway and Getting Into Debt because Addiction and basically my sister saying that since SHE was able to stop, my mom and i should be able to stop too and we're just not trying hard enough and we need to help each other and WERE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH BECAUSE WE CANT KEEP SPENDING ALL OUR MONEY ON WEED

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO STOP BUT WE DONT HAVE WILLPOWER and how i mentioned to her i smoke LESS when im not being told STOP SMOKING STOP SMOKING STOP SMOKING!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL SMOKING????? but it doesnt matter that i have less of an urge to smoke when im NOT constantly being reminded that i have to quit because I HAVE TO QUIT IM A DISGUSTING ADDICT AND IT DOESNT MATTER THAT IM ONLY MORE STRESSED OUT WHEN TOLD TO QUIT BECAUSE IM AN ADDICT!!!!!!

#self harm tw #le p2iigh #btw the yelling is only me yelling at myself shes not mean about it #its just when i told her i want to smoke MORE whenever i feel pressured to quit she was like 'well thats your own problem' #but she still feels the need to constantly talk about how we spend all our momey on weed #AS IF WE DONT KNOW THAT!!!! #and she talks about how she was able to quit and how 'she knows we can quit too and how she thought she couldnt do it' #but like her life is ok right now!!! she has a boyfriend she has a dog sitting job shes going to college to be a teacher #she has her life in order!!!! i have NOTHING going for me right now like i know its all my fault and i DESERVE to be filled with misery #and not to mention the genuine self medication aspects it has for me. like im both addicted to AND self medicating with weed. #but every problem i have in life is obviously my fault and not working hard enough to make my life good.

[givemethedamnflowers]

I had the extreme honor today of saying "he's our spider george" and to be understood it was amazing

#for context : im in france so many ppl dont know current english memes #so imagine knowing spider george. a kinda old very tumblr meme. for us it means having been on quite niche english internet for a WHILE #but this coworker and i have been on these niche corners for about as long and as intensively so we have exactly the same references #and it's AMAZING #we were talking abt how in our restaurant until we got 5 new staffers we were all very small (im 1m65 and i was the tallest) #EXCEPT one of our newest (again before all the newbies of the last 3 weeks) who is kinda tall #and bc i know we have the qame references i said “ok i think you'll get that one : he was our spider george” and SHE GOT IT it was great #all these english ppl saying 'memes/vines/tiktok/movie lines i quite on a daily basis' really amaze me each time #bc here unless it's extremely popular AND less than 2 years old 99% of ppl just wont get what you're saying #and yeah spider george is very niche but think of ANY english internet meme older than 2 years old and 99% of ppl wont get it #even like vine references that can seem basic when you're on internet i know (for real) 2 ppl who would get it #and this includes my coworker #i really enjoy being able to say/use some memes that i usually cant with her #bc if uqing a meme results in me giving a 20min internet history courses with translations it's better to not say anything

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I think it’s time for some good old fashioned journaling since I can post again

#so. as y’all know the reason I’ve been largely avoiding posting and interacting with me is bc one of my friends thought it was funny to #find my account right? however as a joke a few weeks ago she was like haha look at what I can see #naturally that made me incredibly unhappy and until I could have a serious conversation with her I all but stopped speaking to her #i had a conversation with her and pretty much put it down to there are things I do not want to share with you and you severely went against #my privacy and this is not something I will get over if forgive. hopefully eventually I will move past it #and she was pretty much like oh yeah my bad it was a bad taste joke didn’t know u cared so much #like. I’ve been saying for Years. do not come find me or it will end our friendship. to any close friend I’ve come across #i genuinely don’t think she understood why I was so upset just due to the fact that she fundamentally doesn’t care about things #like she does not have interests. that’s not something she does. when she has an occasional one she would rather die than admit she cares #and in general it’s whatever. u do u. but when that stops you from seeing how much other people care about things? we have problems #she literally said to my face oh sorry I didn’t know tumblr was your deepest darkest secret #like. you’ve got to be kidding me #she wasn’t defensive when I tried to talk to her. but I really don’t think she got why I’m so upset about this. like not a clue #she was just like. ok. my bad. i won’t be back and I haven’t been back #which. was a lie she has been and I called her out on that and she literally was like. well. except for that #and she asked me like oh do u have anything else u wanna say and I was like not now but maybe later #i knew I wasn’t going to just forgive her. i know my trust isn’t just rebuildable I have trust issues as it is. but I don’t think that #conversation fixed a single thing. i pretty much just let her know I was upset with her. that is all that accomplished. #i don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget this honestly. and quite frankly I have no wish to continue to speak to her as it is #unfortunately my future sits with her as she’s moving to college with me next year where I’ll have to rely on her for rides and then to #cali where we’re moving in with several friends #this isn’t something that can be fixed. and she just keeps FaceTiming me like we’re good and I keep declining #I’m just so torn bc honestly my go to for this situation is cut off contact no one is worth me losing my sense of privacy. no one #but I don’t think I can here. as it stands I will be relying on her. i guess I could do it myself but it will be a massive pain #as cold as it seems to weigh someone’s existence in my life in an unemotional pros and cons list unfortunately I haven’t the luxury of #looking at this from an emotional standpoint. though to be fair. I’ve learned to not rely on my emotions for decisions #soup talks #girl hit me right in the worst sort of trauma I have and I finally have the opportunity to do what I wish I could have done years ago. leave #start fresh. start with people who don’t know me yet who will respect my privacy. who make me feel safe