#and then I will run away and archive this blog (maybe)

[iwadori]

someone give me a new url name now.

#and then I will run away and archive this blog (maybe) #and start a new life

[tau1tvec]

S/O to a few of my favorite TS3CC Creators

I know this community is small, and therefore doesn't get as much love and attention as it deserves, but know that it is alive and well, much like my love for it, and it's many thanks to these ppl for keeping it fresh and fun even today.

@simtanico literally what would my sims be without you and your amazing sliders, slider fixes, and conversions.

@rollo-rolls you always work so hard to keep our sims looking stylish, I know a lotta people in this community appreciate you as much as I do!

@johziii you put so much love into your CC as you do your sims, homes and gameplay, you're truly the whole package!

@sim-songs an absolute legend for helping revive the Maxis Match ts3 community!

@nectar-cellar an absolute legend, period.

@imamiii idk how you do it, but you make this game look how it probably would had it been released today. Whether it's your gameplay posts, or your CC, I know when I see your post on my dash, I'm bound to be blown away.

@sourlemonsimblr still can't tell whether we're playing the same game, bc everything you post looks like The Sims 10, but I am so glad you're willing to share your CC with us, so maybe one day we will be playing the same game, lol.

@pleaseputnamehere just thought I'd let you know that I kiss your nosemasks goodnight as I tuck them into bed.

@xiasimla an amazing talented and devoted creator all around, every download post is a WIN.

@martassimsbook you keep my love for ts3's buy/build mode alive!

@billsims-cc ty for never giving up on us. 😭😭😭

@bioniczombie for sharing your amazing conversions, and helping run one of my favorite ts3cc finds blogs!

@satellite-sims although you aren't too active right now, I miss you, and I love your conversions sm. The extra work you put into making them the absolute best quality, just like all your posts is so loved and appreciated.

@simbouquet your mods and fixes are such a MUST, you always know exactly what this game needs, and execute it like a pro.

@phoebejaysims another amazing modder keeping this game truly interesting, ty so much for your dedication.

@criisolatex you're like some ethereal being sent to Earth on a mission to make ts3 the best it can be, and you're kind enough to share it with us.

@nemiga-sims-archive you pop out every once and a while like an all year round Santa giving us presents to throw into our games. TY!

@olomaya you work so hard to expand and improve and also make the gameplay in ts3 a lot more interesting.

@twinsimming you know you carry ts3 simblr, right? 💕

@thesweetsimmer111 besides being just the most talented animator I've ever seen in any modding community, your dedication to the youngest and ignored age groups is most admirable, ty.

@flotheory yet another talented and devoted modder giving ts3 the love and attention it deserves. I just know the devs would be so proud.

@greenplumbboblover you've always got something big up your sleeve, your ambition knows no bounds, and the ts3 community is so lucky to have you.

I'm likely forgetting some folks, so I'll probably add some more when I remember, and ty again everyone on this list for working so hard to keep this game alive, and fun, and freeeeeee!

#the sims 3 #ts3 #smallsimblrsaturday

[sweetenernsims]

Alternatives To DownWithPatreon 2023

Okay, as you can see I deleted the old pinned post cause I felt like maybe it needed some updating. Some stuff will be the same but some stuff has changed.

Sims Galaxy

They have some old and new content available, unfortunately you have to sign up so it's up to if you want to or not.

Sims4planet

If you were trying to find the old sims 4 planet, but couldn't it's cause they updated their site it seems.

TS4 Rebels

Right now the vault is down and they are under maintaince! So please be patient until they get everything up and running again, for the time being they are using notion..

Dollhouse Mafia 2

Telegram group chat, they put a lot hard work into this group so please be respectful and read the rules/guide. This is legit cc heaven right here, please join cause you will be blown away on how much content is being graciously donated. I am grateful for this group!

SimsFinds

Yes, I know you guys hate this site but it's a pretty decent site for finding newly released content. I believe they stopped taking paywalled content and only post whats free or been released so yay no more paywalls!? I don't know about anything else, however, it's neatly organized and easy to navigate and find

content on.

Paysitesmustbedestoryed

The O.G, unfortunately they're no longer updating but so now they are archive and I belive all of DWP's items are there as well. So you can find some old gems there if that's what you're looking for.

Sims-New

This site is awesome, has sims 4 and 3 content available, old and new. You can sign in with your google or whatever account you have. So far it's very safe and I haven't had any problems with the site.

Alright well that's it for now, hopefully in the near future we will have more sites and places like this who help share content and fight against these wack ass paywalls. So if you have any other alternative sites similar to DWP or blogs that I don't know about, feel free to shoot me a message and I will add to the list. Happy cc finding/shopping! =)

PS: Thank you to all those who have made this possible you been a big help in this.

#sims 3 #ts3 #sims 4 #ts4 #sims 2 #ts2 #paywalls suck

[topsyturvy-turtely]

Let Me Fix You (Johnlock OS)

for the one and only @safedistancefrombeingsmart <3

“Fuck! I mean- shite! Oh, bloody hell!” John watched as that asshole run away, clutching the knife wound he had left on him. “Jesus Christ. I hate you.”

“John! Why are you- Did you get hurt?”, Sherlock came running towards him.

“No, I am cursing because it is fucking funny. Of course, I am hurt, you bloody-“, John bit his tongue. “He barely missed my scar.”, he added, more quietly.

There was actual concern shining in Sherlock’s eyes. “How bad is it? Let me loo-“

“I am fine!”, John turned his body away in a quick movement. It hurt. He gritted his teeth and pushed air out through them. It made a funny noise, almost like a whistle. “Let’s just get home.” John already walked back out on the brighter lit main street.

“Don’t you think we should call a doctor-“

“I am a fucking doctor!”

“But John-“

“I am goddamn fine fucking enough, okay. Now just do your-”, John let go of his wound to wave vaguely with his good arm in the air. “Thing and get us a bloody cab.” John talked- yelled too loudly, too aggressively. But he didn’t care right now. He was pretty sure he wasn’t even cut that badly. But he was pissed as hell and the asshole stabbing him got away and there was no one else around to yell at. So his flatmate would just have to endure it. John had gone through worse with him.

When Sherlock stared a bit too long at him, John grunted. Immediately Sherlock moved to get them a cab.

(keep reading = link to ao3 and funfacts)

---

title: Let Me Fix You

fandom: Sherlock (TV)

words: 1,932

summary: John gets injured during a case. He is pissed as hell. And determined he will stitch himself up. It's not his fault he forgot that Sherlock actually cares about him.

additional tags:

Whump, John Whump, John Watson Whump, POV Third Person, Hurt John Watson, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson, and takes care of him, Angry John Watson, Worried Sherlock, Angst, okay probably not actually angst lol, Hurt/Comfort, maybe?, bro idk, doctors are the worst patients, John is a living example for that, Developing Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, I take no responsibility for medical accuarcy, You Have Been Warned, DO NOT COPY TO ANOTHER SITE OR APP, Light Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones

---

tagging list (tell me if you wanna be added or removed💚) @catlock-holmes @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @pansherlock @the-smol-bean-libby-blog @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @captaincrucnh @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @quickslvxr @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @johnlock2708 @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @muddboi

#turtely writes #for smartin' #johnlock fic #let me fix you #happy about reblogs 🥰 #johnlock ficlet #johnlock oneshot #johnlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock x john #sherlock #john watson #sherlock holmes #whump!john #john whump #hurt/comfort #(or sth idk)

[nikatyler]

🌈 2023 ✨

Another year is over so it's time for a look back at what was happening on this blog! I haven't really been around, it was just my queue, and maybe that's one reason why I looked at my archive and went "huh" at everything. I don't remember much. The other reason why this year probably went poof in my head is because I was dealing with some mental health stuff lol. I say lol but it wasn't actually very lol but I'm doing better now and 2024...is looking promising for now.

So, let's talk more under the cut, shall we?

January

We're in Bridgeport and Sawyer is living his best life. You know, girlfriends, boyfriends, being turned into a vampire, giving birth to three little vampires, threatening to sell his enemies' organs on the black market...best life indeed.

February

Okay I am now seeing that "talking more" about every month will be impossible since I actually don't have much recollection of 2023 lmao

March

Sawyer and Erin are at the best point of their relationship, but we left them alone for a bit and went back to NSB. Pastel just moved to Strangerville and got a...rather strange roommate.

April

The rather strange roommate becomes Pastel's rather strange wife. I love these two so much. We also say hello to Moss -- and also to Ross, who returns from...god knows where. I mean yeah, there was the ts3 Ross, but technically they're two different people. Parallel universes and stuff.

May

Thea is born and strange wife Jesse gets even stranger. That whole "merging with the mother plant" thing was kinda weird but I really enjoyed it. Idk what I was on but it was fun. And then, before returning to the lepacy, I posted my Cottage Living screenshots! ...which were really just me going "uwu what does this do" on every possible Wicked Whims option.

June

...and I went from posting weird WW Ross stuff to posting wholesome Growing Together Ross stuff. If that gave you a whiplash, I am sorry, but imagine what it must be like for me. I'm locked with this guy in my head 24/7. He's the whiplash king. A blorbo to you, a curse to me. A beloved curse tho. Ok I'm getting weird. Back to the lepacy.

July

Lepacy time! Loved the soap opera Generations gen. Kinda wish I had sticked to some of the storylines instead of going "eh nvm I just wanna play". I'm not saying I regret not actually letting Saywer go on a killing spree but also...imagine if he went on a killing spree. You don't see that in lepacies often do ya

August

August was...welp 💀 I was at the grippy socks hospital for most of that month, 10/10 would recommend, but my queue ran out while I was there so I just reblogged some old stuff for a few weeks.

September

September is just lepacy month. Cornelia and Archer are happy, they get married, they get more children...yeah. Good wholesome Generations times all around. It's not like they're gonna get divorced later or anything.

October

The twins are kind of chaotic, one of them turns into a ghost, both then bring their cursed imaginary friends to life...and the final child of Archer and Cornelia is born.

November

I loved running into Sawyer at the grocery store all the time. Weird vampire alleged killer grandpa behavior suits him. Dorothea goes away to a boarding school, hates it there and instantly comes back. Relatable. Oh and midlife crisis hits Archer hard.

December

And we're in December! Dorothea enters her horsegirl era and finds herself a girlfriend...and we'll continue that in 2024!

What's in store for the new year besides the lepacy? Well, Not So Berry will be making a return (and HOPEFULLY we'll finally get to the end. we need to). There's a story I want to do in the NSB universe, if you know you know. Before we dive into the next lepacy generation, I'm thinking of another BC with the gen 7 heir...oh and Marika's Black Widow. Shoot and I'm starting an irl job in January. Yeah no we're not doing all this in 2024, don't count on it 💀 But I'll try.

Happy New Year! 🎇

#ts3 #ts4 #sims 3 #sims 4 #the sims 3 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #fleur extra #breeze nsb legacy extra

[madstronaut]

it is currently madstro'clock and it is FaFiCoWriYear in this house

the original FaFiCoWriMo post feels too long to keep reblogging but I'm choking laughing right now because I decided to link it and this image above is what I see - FUCK IT WE BALL 😂😂😂😂😂😂 (truly my whole tumblr vibe)

me: gonna plug away at commenting on all the fics I’ve read lately that I love hmm should take a break 

also me: *takes break by looking for other fics to read*

I was completely taken off-guard by stumbling on this fic while mindlessly scrolling on tumblr and having it show up in my recs, so yes i live-blogged by reading even though I HAVE SO MANY OTHER DRAFTS OPEN BUT IT'S COS I END UP RE-READING CERTAIN FICS OVER AND OVER AND I KEEP FINDING NEW COMMENTS TO WRITE IM STILL THINKNIG OF COMMENTS I MISSED ON FICS I ALREADY COMMENTED ON BUT ANYWAY AHEM- 

without further ado, pls stay for the rambly thoughts, then flee in fright because of the increasing levels of unhinged commentar-

Reading: Touch-starved Nikto fic series by @keysorsomething

- "his current running theory was that you must have some form of brain damage. Perhaps you were dropped as a baby."

hehehehehehehe i swear nikto writers capture what i think would be his sense of humor with bullseye accuracy imho

- “His bright blue eyes broke through the dim lighting as if they were backlit by two LED bulbs in his skull.”

“You crack your eye open, meeting his piercing blue stare, like hot water down the back of your shirt.”

OMG TRULY THIS ENCAPSULATES THE EXPERIENCES OF BEHOLDING HIS EYES/WHAT I IMAGINE EYE CONTACT WITH NIKTO IS LIKE???

- “Maybe you could weird him out enough for him to leave you be..?”

literally held my breath reading the next few paragraphs til I read “He’s very gentle”

I don’t know what exactly it is about gentle touch but it can cut through people’s armor & walls like butter IRL and in fic and I JUST *am exploding, cannot type further*

- “His eyes looked like he was blinking on occasion, which was actually mildly upsetting because there goes your Christmas present for him.”

honestly what a thoughtful gift for the reader to get him eyedrops lmao *tell me u have a crush without telling me u have a crush, oh nothing just got you an extremely specific gift cos I noticed small details about you*

- “Did this count at fraternization?”

LMAO READER THIS MADE ME CRY LAUGHING “Im SORRy i woNT TOUCH HIM WITH TWO FINGERS AGAIN, IM SORRY I MISSED IT IN MY CONTRACT COS I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT ALL THE $$$$-

- “I wanna know what’s up-” you pause “-man,” you tack it on, but quickly feel like you shouldn’t have. Who the fuck calls a guy like this man?

omg I am alr in love i fucking looooove awkward!readers

- trope alert trope alert trope alert STORAGE CLOSET READER? REALLY? (yes please god yes im so happy rn)

i would like to kneel before this all-powerful goofy ass awkward adorable reader who has nikto scared in a closet looking for ways out 

- “Not like that,” You correct, and he just eyes you more confusedly. “I mean, not yet..? Look,” You sigh,”

the “i mean, not yet” - like omg nikto if i was in ur shoes hearing this i would have to suppress the strong urge to immediately make out and probably fail to stopper the hearts exploding from my body (and ofc hide the involuntary boner popping maybe hello?)

- ““See you tonight,” Klaus mocks.”

i pity these fools, reader has just tamed nikto, i would beat all their asses immediately singlehandedly from the sheer high and power trip i would be on

- if someone referred to me as ‘one of the three snoopiest bitches on base’ i would get it tattooed on my collarbones probably

- ‘being called into König’s office and being scolded about fraternizing’ - thisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonig

- ‘His guns are neatly lined up against the wall, biggest to smallest.’

CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE omg i just know he prob has nicknames for them too

- ““Нет,” He replies firmly. He’s in more comfortable clothes, something you’ve never seen before.”

i am probably dating myself here but at the tight t-shirt and sweats description all i hear is BOWCHICKAWOWOWOWWWWW

- “Your eyes stay on him intensely as he lays down in the bed, sliding under the covers. “You are here to help us sleep,”

ok all my horniness left me (ok almost all not all of it of course not i would die) and i just felt so tender and awwwwwwww of it all, esp. the reader comparing his grip to a child with their lovie :( 

- “You see the faint, deep-brown shaping of his brows, his long eyelashes, the scar that covers the right side, but most importantly, the pale gleam of his skin in the little light.

He had washed the eyeblack off. And he had done it just for you.”

I am left speechless here; the buildup to this scene is storytelling and climactic perfection in my opinion

then i clicked on next part and it is titled “caught” and i screamed out loud lol

- “You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that?”

looooooooove, totally captures that feeling when u have one of those 'time stands still/you wished time stood still' moments IRL

also YES READER WITH A SPINE/BRAIN IS ALSO MY OTHER KINK

- also as much as ive somehow developed a bizarrely unquenchable thirst for graves (do not @ me, i know, i have problems and I love it) canon graves is exactly how id imagine he’d be like in this fic esp with the constant mansplaining

- "How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue?"

YOU CANT. YOU JUST CAN’T! IT’S A LAW OF NATURE. IT IS SCIENTIFIC FACT. IT IS IRREFUTABLE. IT IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH. IT IS DIVINE DOGMA. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

- “When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that.”

“It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.”

““Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened.”

again i feel like someone has snipershot me to the heart with tenderness, everything about this fic and the premise just speaks to a core desire i have to create moments like this, to bypass someone’s armor and touch their heart, and be a source of healing for hurt just by the gift of our mere presence and vice versa - and have this moment and memory become an indescribable source of light and strength in dark and dreary times to be taken out and relived over and over again as needed (or is it just me that does this lol idk)  

fanfic writers never change and keep creating pls <3 ur words create worlds that inspire and brighten our IRL world <3

- i am deeply moved by the indescribable tenderness of nikto waking reader up by softly patting their cheek - this man known and infamous for his harshness and aggression - UNF

-  “As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron.”

if you’ve known any blue-eyed folx up close i have most def seen their eye color change with emotions, sooo fascinating and hot

- ummmmm my jaw fucking dropped when i realized he leaned in…TO KISS HER? I THOUGHT HE WAS ALSO GONNA REST HIS EYES AND JUST SLEEP FOR A BIT NEXT TO HER? OMG the emotional rOLLERCOASTER THIS STORY HAS TAKEN ME ON *running to download it as we speak*

- BUT aHHHH HTHE ACTUAL SCREAM WHEN READER RUNS INTO KONIG

- omg when reader starting sniffling i just want to hug her and also go back in the room and yell at konig OMG YOU MADE OUR HIGHLY TRAINED PMC-LEVEL KILLER READER CINNAMON ROLL CRY I WILL HURT YOU SIR IDK HOW COS IM LIKE 5’2 BUT IF I HAVE TO CLIMB U LIKE A TREE TO DO SO I WILL TO GET IN YOUR FACE-

- “Who the hell can you trust? Both not to talk, but also with Nikto.” - ends up being Velikan meanwhile me busy shredding the post-it behind my back hoping/suggesting it’s dmitry bale and trying not to cry- (ignore me dmitry is my current hyper fixation)

- i wont lie i am both so heart warmed by how tender and sweet reader is for being so good at reading body language and also laughing my ass off at her having this kinda complicated conversation with velikan who does not talk, mostly growls also while typing this his name autocorrected to pelican and i cannot stop fucking laughing

- omg DMITRY REFERENCE I SCREAMED OUT LOUD (it’s like 1130pm where i am, sorry to my apt neighbors)

- also omg i am crying at this allegiance letter with sputnik, i love both how thoughtful and it is and how it highlights each member and their personality - and that the return of sputnik returned some good memories back to nikto <3, shoutout to any PTSD folx who also deal with blankouts, flashbacks, and having good memory recall be a total struggle street - i think i would openly sob if someone did for me the emotional equivalent of what velikan (and allegiance and by extension reader) did for nikto here with sputnik <3 (and now im remembering IRL times people have done this for me and now im crying omg THE POWER OF FANFIC Y’ALL)

-AH YEGOR CAMEO? MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR IN ALL OF COD? (madstro, there’s only one ukrainian operat-SHUT UP I SAID MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR SHOWED UP)

- also i love how Velikan is written here - “This motherfucker was going to get him put on Fatal Attractions.” i would chill and fuck with him and also probably kill for him hahaha jk or am i-

- very into this irresponsible driver yet simultaneously responsible dog dad rodion rn

- also love the small touch of velikan removing his mask to look yegor in the eye asking if krueger is dead or not

the absolute ride this fic took me on???? incredible incredible incredible this is going in my list of top favorite COD fics @keysorsomething and if i could boost this in the nikto fics tag i would but i'll mostly just be salivating here in the corner over this fic in the meantime, tyvm <3

#madstrothought #FaFiCoWriMo #call of duty #nikto #Keysorsomething #touch-starved nikto fics #The Shape #Easing Into It #Into The Hyena's Den #SPUTNIK the hyena #Bright & Early #Unprofessional #Everyone has a Reason to Stay (Primireniye)

[wearepaladin]

Sending much love to you. It’s always a joy when I see your blog become active again and I love seeing your posts. I hope you’re keeping well

It has been a while since I’ve talked about it or asked you questions in regards to Zagähk- the Goliath oath of the ancients Paladin being played in the campaign I’m running - much has happened and both the player and I are super pleased with his character growth and the things he’s undergone. He’s gone through trials I will detail a bit more below, and come out stronger, more confident, capable, and “has begun to embody the spirit of a great tree- not only shading and protecting others from the harsh storms of evil, but also altering the world around himself to manifest and environment of kindness and growth.”

Having come so far and experienced so much I find myself unsure where to direct Zagähk - what awaits him? How do I challenge him? The party is pretty varied in their moral stances- and there are story beats coming up that will likely bring characters into contention (though maybe not- they endlessly surprise me) Zagähk has undergone Proabably the most personal growth as we head into the second half of the campaign.

So, how do I keep my paladin invested in the story, and continue to make his story interesting, even though he has achieved much and experienced a satisfying level of character growth?

Context:

Zagähk has been through a lot- discovering his god Mirandi was not a true god, being forsaken by her but choosing to turn away from her himself in order to protect the people close to him even as an Oathbreaker.

Wielding powers foreign and sickening to him he fought the embodiment of an Elder Evil seeking to smash one timeline into into another, preventing that evil from gaining a foothold and at the same time learning the origins of Mirandi and her compatriots- the Seven Bonds of Throm Zar.

He connected to the soul of the Veilborn Septarch that has ridden within him since childhood, and that Septarch taught him to embrace the inexorable power of change, and to use it as his own.

He caught the attention of a new god, Resha, the goddess of balance, and swore an oath to become her champion in service of the worlds natural places, his friends and to stand against the existential threats of the Elder Evils hunt his party.

He died, facing down the servants of the Worm Hunger in their plot to obtain an artifact of the Veilborn hidden within an elven Archive. And the Veilborn soul was lost forever to give Zagähk the chance to live again.

He healed the mother tree in the elven city, and is grappling with his reality as no longer having dual souls within him. Standing between his fears and his hopes he is facing the future, ready to fight for what’s important to him

Could have sworn I answered this. Thank you for sharing your work and the continuation of the story.

I can empathize a great deal with it honestly. That lul when you finish one part of your life, and the wind lacks guidance on where to go next.

Frustrating as they are, Lulls have their uses. If nothing else; there is value in introspection. In my case, it led me to realize I was ready to try out a new career in voice overs/audio narration that I’ve been sort of quietly thinking about for years; but now I’m saving money to really buy equipment and training for it and I’m excited to really get into.

Sorry, I’ve made this about me, but I think the same lesson applies. A bit of quiet thought can reveal answers and that has a value all its own.

[hongism]

update;

tldr: all i’ll be writing on this blog moving forward is mists of celeste. if that’s all you want to know about the status of both me and this blog, then you can stop reading here! i won’t be offended or bothered if that’s all you want to know!

however if you’re interested in a more in-depth explanation as to why i came to this decision then you’re welcome to keep reading to understand where i’m at.

why am i doing this?

there are multiple layers to why i’m taking this step. first off this is not a goodbye, as much as i’m sure many people are expecting that with how often i’ve been absent from this blog this year alone. one, i made a promise to myself when i very first started this blog almost 4 years ago that i would deactivate once i reached a certain milestone. since then, i’ve chosen not to deactivate and i think i will always leave this blog up as an archive even when the day comes where i will not be here or be posting anything here. i also have hopes and goals to finish mists of celeste and i think i will hit that milestone before i finish the story (maybe not anymore but, that’s beside the point). 

two, with being so close to such a significant milestone, i think there are certain expectations i have regarding my fics and the success of those fics. frankly, almost 90% of my following came from when i started writing for a.tz/s.kz, not b.ts. so it isn’t a disconnect in what people followed me for because i haven’t been writing for b.ts for several years by now. but even so, my fics still don’t do well. the reblogs mostly come from me, the feedback mostly comes from people who read from me regularly or mutuals, and the ratio of likes to reblogs is a never-ending issue that is never going to change. i’m grateful for anyone who stops to read and leave feedback on my works, and i am especially grateful to anyone who stops to read and leave feedback on my works that are not mists of celeste. and now with tumblr mucking up the tag system and preventing my works from being shown in the tags even when i do everything recommended, my works are going out to an even smaller audience that is not even 1% of my follower count. even with atinyblr being slow these days, i see other writers doing well and getting 500-1000+ notes with apparent ease compared to what i see on my own works. 

the shift in interest in the community has also affected me a lot. people are less likely to read a 10k+ fic that has plot mixed in with smut compared to a 1-2k pwp smut fic, which is fine. but that isn’t what i enjoy writing. and i understand that over time, i have lost the audience i used to have when it comes to writing that stuff. even for moc, barely anyone on the taglist i run with every update reads the updates. it’s an upsetting reality for me as the writer because i see my follower count go up and up yet my interaction and notes go down and down. which is primarily why i don’t like being here anymore to be frank. i have my friends from here but i talk to them off tumblr so i don’t feel a need or a compulsion to be here to talk to friends. i know that whatever i post won’t be received the way i wish for it to be received. and i now have this lingering fear that anytime i post anything at all tumblr will decide it shouldn’t show in tags at all.

and three, people are still dragging up things that happened in the past that i have tried so hard to move away from and want nothing to do with anymore. and belatedly, as much as i changed my url at the time, i realize that i won’t ever be able to fully distance myself from being involved in that in the past as long as i am calypso, hongism. i really hate that because i’ve had to come to terms with a lot of the bad things i suffered here on this website and in my real life relationships that were public here on tumblr, but i will always be known for my association with those things in a negative light.

what about your other series?

i won’t be writing them anymore! i appreciate all the love and affection given to them but frankly after blood masquerade i came to the realization that even if there are a lot of people interested in an idea, they aren’t all going to be interested in the final product. the ratio of votes to even likes on the fic itself was so grossly skewed that i found myself both baffled and discouraged to even continue writing it. aka; why am i putting so much heart and soul into something and not seeing an outcome that is balanced or fair? it wasn’t even an insignificant difference but rather something close to a 50+ difference in notes and votes.

will you ever change your mind?

maybe? maybe not? probably not. at some point in the distant future i might find myself wanting to go back to ideas that i had, like the wooyoung and san series i had planned for october this year but right now i have such a dismal and bad relationship with this blog in general that i don’t even want to think about posting anything here.

and one more note regarding moc:

i think i’m done writing interims. there has always been a disconnect in the readers of the main chapters versus readers of the interims, and i’ve always known that would be the case, but it is greatly disheartening as the writer to see such a divide on the work that i put my heart and soul into. so for now moving forward i just want to do main chapters and nothing else unless i feel so in love with an idea that i just have to put it out there.

overall i understand that this post as a whole is very moody and emotional and negative but i hope you all understand that this has been something i’ve been struggling with for the better part of a year here on this blog. i feel a disconnect and i feel no way to grab the ropes and tie myself back here the way i used to be here. even looking at other writers who have come up into the scene on atinyblr, i feel very lacking as a writer and i also feel a disconnect from them because i’m a writer who has been around here since 2020. it’s dumb to say that i feel ostracized in any sort of way but i do feel a bit distant, and i understand that in my attempts to curate a corner for myself on the internet, i created a very specific niche for myself in mists of celeste. i have always said that that is my magnum opus, and i still believe that to be the case. and at risk of sounding horribly arrogant, i feel i’ve isolated myself on an island that is mists of celeste and any time i try to broaden my horizons to do something outside of moc, it’s destined to fail. so for the sake of my mental well-being i need to step back and dedicate hongism to mists of celeste so that i can curb any expectations i might have had about other projects i wanted to do. 

so no, it’s not a goodbye, just a note that i’m slowing down and that the only thing i’ll be presenting to you all here on hongism moving forward is mists of celeste. it’s something that’s said a lot but it’s not something that i admitted myself until recently, but having come back multiple times this year with this mentality of ‘if i just push myself through this then it’ll be fine’, i now realize that if i don’t care for myself then how can i expect anyone else to care about me either? and i think i need to do this to care for myself and have a better mentality about my presence here.

#caly chats #as far as asks go #im trying my best to reach a mental space where i feel okay enough to #be calypso here

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Throwback Fic Week: and we did not walk away unscathed

I've recently been re-reading some of my old fic and I wanted to do a little "favorite fic" retrospective on this tumblr blog. Hit some of the highlights, y'know? This was supposed to be just seven fics but it ballooned. I managed to cap it at fourteen, and I'm going to drop one a day for the next fourteen days. My only rule is that the fic has to have been posted pre-2021. Now without further ado:

First up, we have and we did not walk away unscathed. It was hard to pick just one Narnia fic (and I ended up not anyway), but this one is very important to me. It is an early example of how I used fic not just to explore fascinating characters, but also critique the initial text. (Also, make it more queer, but we all knew about that.) This fic explored Susan post-Narnia in my AU and really delved into the Problem of Susan.

Excerpt:

She takes her war from the battlefield to the courtroom. She graduates law school, carefully clawing her way through every two-bit lawyer in her way. She knows how to negotiate, how to ply the response she wants out of people. She has two decades of experience over these other law students.

Susan was known as the Marksman Queen. Is sinking her sights into humans at the defense table, aiming her words at those who claim falsehood all that different?

She sees what needs to be done, and she does it. She uses the skills she has to get what she can done, and then ropes other people in to help. She recognizes her weaknesses. Even back in Narnia it had always been this way.

She rises from the defense table, makeup perfectly applied, hair perfectly curled, and destroys every lying witness that she examines. These are her new weapons of war, her armor against expectation. If her opponents underestimate her because of the way she likes to dress, then all the more power.

Susan sometimes wonders on the nature of battle, if war is something that runs in the blood. She wonders if she carried it back from Narnia, or if maybe it was something that always existed in her. 

Susan Pevensie was never a cowering mouse. Susan Pevensie was a gentle lion. Gentleness does not mean folding when a fight comes. It means comforting people after losses, about taking care of those you love. If taking care of them means fighting viciously to protect them, then so be it.

Susan the Gentle knows how to fight.

#chronicles of narnia #the problem of susan #susan pevensie #bisexual susan pevensie #canon divergence #character study #fanfic #my fics #throwback week 2024 #aletterinthenameofsanity #ao3 #polyamory #crossposted on ao3

[dreamingofmuses]

New Year's Resolutions: RP Edition

Howdy all, Ash here. I've been having a think while with family this week, and I've decided I'm going to implement some new 'resolutions' to try and help make writing in 2024 be way more successful than in 2023. This will include things from the running of blogs to jobs I really want to get finished. I'm putting them under a read-more to keep the dash nice and clean.

I will say, this has taken me an hour to write up, and I'd recommend you doing likewise if you think there's little ways you want to improve.

-

Overall Running of Blogs

I'm going to experiment a new approach to running the blogs. For this, I'm going to put all active blogs to low-medium activity. In other words, even if I am personally lurking on mobile, I won't be constantly writing things if I'm not able to. (Work is just about to get super busy and I'm anticipating chaos)

A queue/schedule function will be used for all blogs. I intend to dedicate one weekday evening to working without interruption on replies. Taking commutes to the city and family visits into account, this is looking to be a Thursday, which is the only day I am neither travelling to the city nor have a guaranteed family visit. Of course, this may fluctuate, but that's what I'm hoping to work with, assuming those things stay as they are.

However! What all this means is that I am going to tentatively take skullandbowties off hiatus. With that blog being quiet, it should be possible to juggle it better now. Plus, it's officially off-season so the demand for him from new blogs ought to be low. I'm very smart :D

I also plan to update all pinned posts. I am aware some of them are marking a vacation from months ago.

Individual Blog Maintenance

Create "New Here?" posts to add to the pinned posts/info tags. This is going to be a very quick crash course on what to expect from the blog, especially where some characters might diverge from fanon expectations.

FINISH. WILF'S. BIO. It's not actually relevant to anything being written on the blog itself at present, but I really want to flesh out his character and show that he was stuck in stories for years, decades even! The doc has the word count to 4,888 at this precise moment. This is a mix of summary and brainstorm. Since it's getting a 'little' out of hand, I intend to have a 'tldr' at the start that people can read, and then longer versions if they're curious to get the full story. Maybe even have it that they can jump to particular parts but... I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Likewise, Noah's version of Space needs to be finished. This one is going to be a summary, but it's a case of making sure the pieces are in place sufficiently to have parts match canon Space, but also make it clear that there is a lot of differences between canon and what he went through, with his plot entirely spiralling away for 'Part 2'. This is at 5,794 words, and the ending has yet to be ironed out...

(I am going to stop creating needlessly long-winded projects for myself that realistically add nothing of value to my blogs. These two projects are exhausting...)

Theauthorlives is returning to a very small multimuse. Any muses that aren't ones I genuinely enjoy writing are being fully archived, unless they are muses that get no traction but I want to keep the possibility open. Details of that will be shared when I do this.

Redo some muse icons (not all of them!). Though the selection I have for particular sets is a lot, I still feel like I'm missing some expressions or poses. I would like to remake one batch of icons for three characters, and finish iconning a third. Replies seem to be shifting toward iconless, but I like them for asks or IC commentaries.

OOC/Mun Related stuff

Following matters that have happened both online and IRL, I've decided to take a step back from actively engaging with people. My focus will be people that I have been in good communication with for the last twelve months (as well as people I don't talk to frequently but am on friendly terms with) rather than people I feel I have to 'chase' after. Saying that, I'm going to try and not let past experiences meddle with anything in with new writing partners - whether these are brand new to the community or people I've not had the chance to properly interact with prior to this. Just be aware that I might not be super outgoing at first. (This is where setting limits and boundaries is good practice, everyone! Don't sell yourself short, and don't spread yourself out too thinly!)

Which is where I now say I want to send even more asks! Not just memes or sentence starters, but general questions about headcanons or muse opinions. I want to get people thinking more.

My stance on Discord still stands, in that it's solely for OOC stuff, but I'm not giving it out to everyone. However, I have been in two group servers that have little-to-no connection with writing rp threads in them. I would hope that I can fully regain my sense of comfort using Discord as a whole.

Art related

Despite socially stepping back, I still want to keep some semblance of 'community' where my blogs are active so people don't feel isolated. For instance, I want to do something that encourages invasions of ask boxes. That was good fun to watch as the chaos began to spread, and when people are good-humoured to go along with my silly ideas.

I want to have one huge art-related event at some point this year. I'm not entirely what or how to do it, but I think it would be a great excuse to practice something. Portraits, comics, something like that. I'll have a think. (For those who remember, the water gun event was supposed to have an art conclusion but plans for that fell through.)

I want to try and upload drawn responses to heythereneighbor once a week if I can. Obviously, this is depending on how busy it is.

I'd also like to try doodling more on other blogs? But I'm not sure if this is even something people want to see anymore. People might prefer I focus on writing if I have free time instead of doodles or little comics.

... the writing blog. I need to do stuff with that in general. Whoops.

Finally, I want to do what I can to the best of my abilities on a particular day. I've always told people over the years that real life comes before rp, and I still stand by that. Whether I'm around or not every day isn't the end of the world. The communities I write in are a lot slower paced than they were when I started, which is great! I need to remind myself that I don't need to be writing just because I have a bit of free time.

#(but some of these won't be starting this week because my work week is a little jumbled up) #(one tldr is that I intend to have one day a week for writing that should hopefully be a Thursday #but not Thursday of this week because I'm commuting to work and have personal stuff on as well) #(aaaand now I sleep. Have to catch a bus in the morning.)

[springdandelixn]

Playing Favorites - Part I

Professor!Vision x F!Reader

Summary: You’re failing your class and your professor is offering you a helping hand.

Warnings: flirting, age gap, forbidden relations

A/N: This is a prequel to Among the Stacks and Lunch Break. Basically how Professor Vision and his kitten started their campus romance. Victor Shade is Vision’s human name.

As always, your comments and likes are highly appreciated. Tell me what you like about this story because I do like reading them. Also, reblogs would be great for it would help share my work.

I no longer hold a tag list but if you wish to be updated with new fics I release, follow my archives blog, @springdandelixn-archives​ and turn on the notifications. 

I hope you guys enjoy! 💛

You stare at the images displayed on the laptop before you and scribble down important points in your notebook as Professor Shade discusses the lecture he did earlier that day. With the failing mark you got on your quiz last week, he’s offered to tutor you in private, opting for a more hands-on approach for you to better absorb the lessons instead of struggling in a room with other students. 

You’re on a scholarship and another failing mark would see to it that you’d lose it. And you can’t, for the scholarship was more than a means to get into a university that you cannot afford, but more of an escape from the abusive home you’ve come to know; your father’s drunken rage and strong hand along with your mother’s eyes full of regret for even bringing you into this world. 

You can’t go back. You never want to. So, you took his offer for one-on-one lectures, thinking that this would be what’s best for you.

But god, you’re terribly wrong. 

You try your best to focus on what Professor Shade is saying, trying your best in listening to his thorough explanation about the Trojan War as his smooth voice reverberates against his office walls.

But you can’t find it in you to focus, your eyes darting down at your notes and then up at him, only for it to be taken by his strong forearms, bare with his sleeves rolled up. His tie is gone as well and the top two buttons of his powder blue shirt are undone and his blond hair is slightly unruly and falling over his eyes, that’s framed with his glasses, as he repeatedly runs his fingers through them while continuing with his lesson. 

You know Professor Shade to be an attractive man. You’re not blind and neither are your classmates. How they openly gush over him when he enters the lecture hall and once hearing Miranda saying something about wanting to wake up to the sound of his voice. They would even purposely make a ruckus that would prompt Professor Shade to call their attention, the group of girls swooning at the action instead of getting flustered like how you would.

You don’t doubt that he’s got an array of admirers, students, and faculty alike. That there must be some invisible line to garner his attention that you never found yourself in. 

Until now. 

“Are you still with me?” Professor Shade comes up close and you blink away your thoughts, leaning back to look up at him. But you regret doing so almost instantly as the light of his office cascades down on him, accentuating his chiseled jaw and his stubble. 

He asks his question once more and you nod in response, looking down in embarrassment for staring. A frown then forms on your lips when you see your notes far behind the slide on the screen. You trailed off and it’s because you can’t keep your focus intact.

“Maybe it’s time for a break.” He announces and walks over to his desk, a sigh leaving your lips as you place your notebook down on the low table in front of you. “Any preference?” He asks from your side. 

“Water is fine. Thank you.” You mumble as you glance at him then look back down at your hands.

You must have looked like a complete idiot in front of him for spacing out because all that’s running through your head is how handsome he looks. He must think that he’s wasting his time staying after office hours just to teach you when you’re not even listening. 

You hear some glasses clinking at your side and you glance up to see him pour water into a blue mug and some hot water from his electric kettle in a yellow one. The rip of a paper fills your ears and you watch him dunk the tea bag in one before taking both mugs and walking back to you on the couch. 

“Was I going too fast?” He asks, giving you your water before placing his tea on the table and taking a seat beside you. An unexpected wave of disappointment washes over you when he keeps a good distance from where you’re seated. “You know you can tell me if I am. This whole arrangement is to cater to your needs.”

“I know, professor.” You mutter and take a welcome sip of your drink, the cool liquid drenching your seemingly parched throat. “I guess I just feel a bit overwhelmed about this.” You confess as the anxiety you feel over the whole ordeal finally sinks in. 

What would your classmates think if they found out that you and the history professor have this arrangement? What would they even say? You can already imagine them looking at you with judgment, could already hear the lies they would concoct between the two of you because of your inability to pass and his willingness to help. And worst of all, you don’t even want to think how it would impact him and his career if such falsity reached the faculty or the dean. 

No! You cannot put his job on the line! He may be doing such as an act of kindness but you know the world, especially the students, to be brutal. Scholarship or not, it would be unfair to him.

“I think this is wrong.” You blurt out. And the way Professor Shade looks at you, eyes laced with worry and brows knitted in concern, makes you want to retract your words. 

“Why? Is it not helping?” He asks and you can sense the sadness that surrounds him. “Are my teaching methods ineffective or would you like us to try something else?”

“I just—I’m worried.”

“About?” He prompts.

“What would the other students say if they found out you’re giving me this..this special treatment?” You question, your spunk taking you by surprise. “No offense, sir,” You clear your throat before pushing on. “But I don’t even understand why you’re wasting your time on me. I failed your test, shouldn’t you be angry or have me do some extra credit work?” You’re rambling, your anxiety level and your emotions piqued and you can’t find it in you to stop. “And if the other students see, they’ll take and say you’re playing favorites and—”

“So, what if I am?” You blink in surprise at his question, eyes wide as you look at him, your string of words gone. 

“I’m sorry. What?” You ask in disbelief.

He chuckles as he leans back against the couch. “What if I’m playing favorites? What does it matter to them?”

“I—” You’re flustered by his admission. Is he really doing such a thing? You dare not ask but are you his favorite among the lot of students in his class? You feel a shyness run up your spine that makes you fold yourself small on the couch, looking down at the mug of water clasped in your hands. “Then that’s—t-that’s unfair to them, isn’t it?” You stutter.

“How so? How is it unfair for a teacher to help a struggling student?” His question comes a little strong but you sense no hostility from him. He pushes. “What’s unfair is if I don’t give you a chance to pass my class and you don’t give me a chance to help you.” You feel the couch dip from his weight and startle when he takes the mug from you, setting it beside his. You look up at him in surprise when he wraps his fingers around your hand after. “You are on a scholarship, yes?”

You don’t know how he knows that but you nod nonetheless.

“And maintaining a certain grade will help you keep the status?”

You nod once again. 

“I want to help you keep it. To help you finish university with your scholarship intact.” He thrums, feeling your cheeks heat up when his thumb gently caresses your knuckles. “But you seem hesitant for me to do so. Why?”

You sigh. “People talk.” It’s all you can say because it’s simply the truth. 

No one ever wants to be found in the center of a scandal. It was already proven to be something dreadful after that one girl freshman got into one with the engineering professor.  

“You’re worried people would gossip?”

Another nod.

He hums at your response and you look down once more at your joined hands. You notice how big his is, how it almost swallows yours whole.  But most of all, you somehow feel a sense of safety in his hold, in his presence overall. That your thoughts and worries seem frivolous when he’s around. 

But you shake your head. That’s the crush talking. The crush pushing you towards him and making you decide to keep the arrangement. To not think of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘buts’, instead having you relish on the fact that he’s given you his time and effort to see that you’re taken cared of, that your education doesn’t perish.  

“If the arrangement makes you uncomfortable,” he starts. “We can try different methods. Video calls perhaps? Or meet at the library?” He suggests. “That would be more public and there are study rooms that would give us enough privacy.”

He still wants to pull through even after you’ve given him several good reasons why he shouldn’t. He doesn’t look dumb, far from it. He doesn’t even seem to be that dense to not know how university students function; how barbaric they can get and easily turn anything innocent into something malicious.

Curiosity takes the better of you so you ask, “Why are you doing this, sir?”

“You’re one of my best students,” He admits without hesitation, almost with glee, and you feel the blush creep up your neck, bleeding to your cheeks. “You’re punctual and attentive, not like the others who intentionally cause a ruckus for attention.” He praises. “And, if I’m being quite honest, that’s a breath of fresh air. You, darling, are a breath of fresh air.”

Darling? A pet name? You dare not think it but is he flirting with you? You’ve never once heard him call any other student by that name. 

You avoid his gaze and pull your hand free from his hold, yet you already miss the warmth of it, opting to twiddle your fingers against your lap if only to distract you from his flowery words. 

“What I mean is—” he clears his throat. “You deserve to pass my class. My best student does.”

-

You pack your things and wait by Professor Shade’s door, watching him stow away his things into his messenger bag and take his jacket that hangs at the back of his office chair. His eyes meet yours when he stands in front of you, a smile on his face before he opens the door and gestures you leave first, turning off the lights of his office and following suit, locking the door. 

The corridor of his floor is dark except for the light at the end of the hall, making the building look somewhat eerie despite its modern architecture and decor. 

“Would you like a ride to your dorm?” He asks, breaking the silence between you as you head to the elevators. “I’ve kept you quite a while and I’d want to be sure you make it back safe.”

“It’s only a short walk from here, Professor.” You smile at his kindness. “Thank you though.”

“Alright. You’ll also tell me what method would work for you best?” Another question and the elevator doors part, Professor Shade holding the doors back as you take a step inside. “The video call or the library?” He clarifies. 

“I will.” You agree. “But so far, the library seems like the better option. I have a roommate and she can be quite a nuisance,” You don’t tell him that she likes to bring random boys into your dorm and can hear them through the thin walls. “I might not be able to focus on our lessons.”

“Very well.” The lift descends after he presses the button for the lobby and you end up staring at his reflection through the metal barrier. “I can book one of the study rooms in advance though would the same time still be feasible for you?”

“Mhmm, though I wouldn’t want to take too much of your time, professor.”

“Nonsense.” He chuckles. “I have nowhere else to be nor anyone to go home to.” 

The ding of the elevator signals your arrival and you step outside, Professor Shade catching up with your stride before going ahead, his swiftness taking you by surprise when he opens the door for you. 

“You’ll message me when you’ve decided?” He asks again as you both stand in front of the building, wrapping your arms around yourself to shield yourself from the chill. And for a moment, you feel a bit disoriented by his question. He chuckles, probably from seeing your confusion. “About the meeting place. The library or my office again?”

“Oh right.” You give an awkward smile. “I will.” 

“You have my number, right?” You nod. “And my email?” Another nod. “Perfect. I’ll see you next week then, or around campus.” He says as he takes a step closer, your body shivering when the evening wind blows. 

He seems to notice your discomfort. He puts down his bag on the concrete steps and to your surprise, drapes his coat over your shoulders. Your face is hot and you look down at your feet to avoid his eyes as his hands tug gently on the lapels of the jacket, pulling it snug around you. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride to your dorm, darling? It’s really no trouble.” 

You shake your head fast, knowing all too well that your face has already turned red from the pet name and his actions. Not trusting that you won’t make a fool out of yourself when you dare meet his eyes. 

“I’m fine. Really.” You mumble and blink when his thumb and forefinger pinch your chin, tipping your head up to face him. 

“Very well.” His voice is soft and you feel yourself being hypnotized by the way his eyes stare at you, how the glow of the moon makes his sapphires shine. “But let me tell you a secret before we part ways.”

“W-what is i-it?” You stammer. 

He takes a deep breath and releases your chin, his hands taking hold of the coat once more. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else. All this tutoring and whatnot.” 

You can feel your heart pounding wildly in your chest as he inches closer, feeling the tips of his shoes brush against yours.

“What do you m-mean?”

“I’m only doing this for you.” He breathes. “Just you.”

#vision #the vision #vision mcu #vision x reader #vision x female reader #vision x you #professor vision #professor au #victor shade #victor shade au #mcu au #vision fanfic #coconut bun stories

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

i miss running this poll... ill try to finish the canon showdown this week, and then ill need a proper break before i try again so i dont end up pausing 300 times again sjsbnsbs

maybe during the break ill finally post the other honorable mentions... ill also always be happy to share rep that u guys wanna recommend via asks or if i get @ed on smth.

that said, even if i decide to stop modding for a few months, ill still share other polls here! and you guys are always welcome to @ me if some of our classics are competing in other tournaments (like how i try to reblog orv, leverage, three caballeros, sweetcapncakes, and others whenever i see them)

Thank you for the patience while i come and go, been a rough first half of 2023 but im slowly making progress, i think. im thankful to every single one of you who stuck around through my inactivity, and id like to offer a hug (if you guys are comfortable) to everyone whos been kind to me everytime i had to step away, on asks or replies. If i ever forgot to reply to anyone i promise you i read it and it helped a lot. Im thankful for what we have here, and i do hope to come back with a new competition eventually, maybe next year depending how long of a break ill need.

to reiterate i will try to finish the ongoing showdown this week, its not being abandoned!! im also not giving up on the tma poll, for those of you who also follow me there, so dw about that. Thanks to my tma brainrot i cam actually work on that one without feeling as drained, which is nice.

Anyway sorry for rambling hsbshjs TLDR canon polycule showdown will likely end this week, after that ill take a break from poll modding on this blog, and focus on @best-magnus-archives-character . i do hope to come back to pps eventually, but it might take a few months. Ill continue to share other polls!

#mod talks

[loose-and-goose]

Porque No Los Dos?

Musings on Persephone and Her Girlbossification for Classicstober2023

I think I first learned about the Homeric Hymn to Demeter in elementary school, but even then, it was all about Persephone and Hades.

This was a fourth or fifth grade reader, so the story naturally had to be boiled down 'til the very marrow was sucked from its bones, but even then, I can't remember any mention of Demeter. Despite the myth bearing her name and largely being about her, Demeter was already removed from the narrative back in the early 2000s.

When I consider this, I feel that I can't genuinely pin the blame on current writers. After all, the Renaissance artists were more obsessed with depicting the “rape” of Persephone than the grief of her mother, so this current situation has been long in the making. But I do think that I am not mistaken to couple her subsequent transformation into a modern feminist icon with my contemporaries.

Apparently, I first took issue with this back in 2018. When I look through the archives of my blog, I see some cute HadesxPersephone art, modernizations, etc, and according to my tags I really love them. But then in 2018, I encountered a post saying:

“Hey, you know the original myth of Persephone when she was still Core/Kora and instead of being kidnapped, she willingly went down into the Underworld and decided that she liked it there/wanted to do good there? I need a copy of it.”

This post was then reblogged with an added rebuttal, clarifying that this “original myth” does not exist. Since then, I've encountered at least three other posts with thousands of notes that either outright claim that “originally”, Persephone was not kidnapped, or that actually, there are “pre-patriarchal” versions of most Greek myths, which we are purposely kept from reading in order to maintain the status quo (patriarchy).

These claims are never supplemented with any classical sources, and they always, always, have thousands of notes.

I want to preface this by saying that I don't think there's anything wrong with modernizing or retelling these myths. That's how we keep them living, keep them relevant. I still enjoy a funny rendition of Hades and Persephone that characterizes Hades as the wife-guy of all time.

No, I think my issue is with the desire to concoct a revisionist history to justify it.

I guess the question is, “So what if Persephone was kidnapped?” Regardless of how she and Hades met, the outcome is the same: Hades turns out to be a good husband who loves and respects his wife.

What I'm getting at is this: why does acknowledging Persephone's background somehow make her less respectable? Why does she have to willingly go to the underworld? Why does she have to hate her mother and run away? Why do you need this version of her story to exist, when it simply doesn't?

Persephone is a young girl. It's in her name. She is the prototype, the stereotype, she is the stand in for every young girl of her time. She represents their realities, she represents what could happen to them in a moment's notice. She embodies a very real fear for girls and maybe even more so for (let's not forget the name of the hymn again) mothers.

What am I trying to say? Let me see if I can figure it out. I don't think I'm saying anything new. I just saw that today's theme was Persephone and when I think of Persephone, this is what I always think of.

She is a goddess in her own right. Beloved by her husband. Given power by her husband. I think she is what many a young girl in ancient times hoped to become someday, whenever the seemingly unavoidable happened: A woman who was valued as an equal in her home, even in a greater world where she was not.

I think we shouldn't have to change Persephone's truth in order to find value in her. And we shouldn't have to fabricate an alternate timeline where Greece was a matriarachal society and Persephone hit her mother with the, “No mom, I'm giving up on your dream.” before sashaying a way into the underworld to justify her value.

Write what you want to write. I can't stop you, won't stop you, don't want to stop you. But as Madeline Miller's new book is on its way, I can only hope that maybe someone, someone, will find it in themselves to acknowledge that Persephone and Hades' shitty start doesn't disqualify her from being meaningful. Inasmuch as there is power in saying “actually, Persephone only did what she wanted to do”, there is also power in saying, “Persephone didn't always get to choose, but her situation did not spell out her end. It got better. Spring will come again”.

#the title makes less sense after writing it but idc fr #classicstober

[thelonesomequeen]

Do I even want to know what the biden gif was about lol

Maybe? Maybe not?

Honestly we planned to not say anything about this entire thing, but now we’ve been falsely accused of something so here it goes!

The gif itself is basically our way of saying “you did something dumb, but we’re getting blamed for it? Uh ok??”

The first thing I’m going to say is that we do not advocate for doxxing. We do not agree with it. We never have. We do not think it’s okay whatsoever and you can even scroll back in our archives to see where we’ve always advocated against that behavior and tried to warn other blogs (even ones we didn’t get along with) of doxxing attempts if we ever heard something was going on in the past. It’s not okay to doxx anyone no matter who they are. Period. I hope that’s something we can all agree on here.

Yesterday someone was attempting to bait a particular mean spirited blog with asks. In their attempt to act like a righteous know it all, the blog accidentally doxxed themself when the person sent them the name of a personal friend which the blog posted. A quick search on social media of the name pulled up a bunch of tagged pictures of that blog (like the person, not screenshots of their page).

It’s clear that someone out there knew enough to poke at that blog and that isn’t ok. But the only person who gave personal information away was the blog itself when they decided to post that personal information. I don’t know what would compel someone to post that instead of reporting and blocking, but who knows.

Of course we’re now being attacked and blamed for it when we had absolutely nothing to do with the situation whatsoever. And that’s why I’m speaking up now. We had nothing to do with that situation. We think what happened is NOT okay. But we aren’t going to sit here and take the blame for doxxing someone when we didn’t do that. The only person responsible for doxxing in this situation is the person who posted their own personal information, and that was the blog itself. Yes, someone sent them a friend’s name, which again, is NOT ok, but why the hell would you ever post something like that?! I just don’t understand that part. It’s time to stop blaming other people for your own bad decisions and take accountability for your own actions.

We have watched this specific blog tell lies about us for months on end and right now we are putting our foot down. What happened wasn’t ok, we feel for that blog right now, we really do. But we had absolutely nothing to do with it. And sitting there pointing your finger at us is only letting the actual person who has been running around this fandom doxxing and hacking people continue to run free while you’re busy focusing on the wrong people.

[burntheskyandtime]

Run boy run (they're trying to catch you)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Joel | Smallishbeans & Martyn | InTheLittleWood, Joel | SmallishBeans/Lizzie | LDShadowLady (Video Blogging RPF), Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Joel | SmallishBeans, Lizzie | LDShadowLady (Video Blogging RPF) Additional Tags: Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), Canon-Typical Violence, The Hunt Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives), Alternate Universe - The Magnus Archives Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Mild Gore, Hunt Avatar Martyn, Hurt Joel | SmallishBeans Series: Part 1 of Statements of the Player and Above Summary:

Statement of Martyn Littlewood, regarding a party at a friend's house. Original statement transcribed 24th April, 20XX, audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London

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or Martyn likes to Hunt and Joel might just be his next victim

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or Magnus Archive and Mcyt crossover

Words: 1,346

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51830293

-click-

Statement of Martyn Littlewood, regarding a party at a friend's house. Original statement transcribed 24th April, 20XX, audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.

I know that sounds terrible, but I hope Joel never remembers what happened that night. Afterall it wasn't just someone that chased him through the woods.

It... I am not really sure how to start this. Honestly I don't even believe you guys can do anything about this but I guess I start by telling you about the whole day. 

My friends and I were meeting at Scott's house like three weeks ago. It's a small cottage in the middle of the woods. At least one hour away from the next city or village and the forest always appears so much bigger than it actually is. But it's nice! 

I was there in the morning already. I didn't have anything else to do that day and wanted to help Scott prepare. There were going to be a lot of people, so there was a lot of food, drinks and other stuff to do.

That weird feeling already started when I entered the front garten. I got goosebumps because, and this might just sound crazy I know, there was something, no, someone watching me. I couldn't get it out of my head. It was like it was waiting for a grand show. 

I must have been frozen standing there for a while as Scott was calling for me when I focused again. Apparently I was unfocused the whole day. That feeling never went away. 

Nothing special occurred for the next few hours. Just everybody arriving. Everything was normal, well until Lizzie and Joel came.

Joel and Lizzie had gotten married some years ago and have been dating a long while before, so coming together shouldn't be so... frustrating. I couldn't tell why I was feeling that way at the time, so I tried to ignore it. 

The party went fine. They all had fun, drank and played some games. We were all familiar with each other since we all met in college or through other friends.

At the end everyone was drunk and because Scott lived so far into the woods no one really wanted or was sober enough to drive home, so everyone decided for a sleepover. Scott, Timmy, Tango and Impulse slept in Scotts bedroom. Grian, Pearl, Scar and BigB slept in a guestroom while Etho, Cleo, Bdubs, Skizz and Gem had chosen to rest outside in a big Tent that Scar brought. Joel and Lizzie took the sofa and I was on the floor in a sleeping bag that I took with me.

It was well into the night when I woke up. Maybe 2 or 3 am. Somehow I knew that it was Joel who woke me up and that he was outside. I didn't even bother to change out of my pajamas before my feeling was confirmed. There was a yellow post-it note on the door that led to the garden. 'Couldn't sleep. Gonna go for a short walk -Joel' or something along those lines was written on the note. 

I barely remember leaving. Next thing I know I am deep in the woods. This might sound weird... I could smell where Joel was... Hear his footsteps, his breathing, his heartbeat. It was loud and obvious. I just watched him for a while. He kept turning his head around to see if there was something and he was right. 

I was watching him. 

A deep growling made him freeze. He spotted me. His pupils were wide, his breathing irregular. He was scared. Then he ran...

It was like a gunshot at a race. The start of a competition. Joel ran as fast as he could but it wasn't enough. I leaped and pinned him to the rough ground. And there I noticed. I didn't have hands anymore. Instead there were hairy claws. They cut and bruised Joel's arm as he whimpered. The growling began again as I let go of him and let him run. There was chanting, a crowd of voices in my head praising and cheering for me. I could just disappoint them. And so the hunt continued. 

We ran deeper and deeper until there was almost no Moonshine to be seen. Sometimes I let Joel catch his breath or let him think he was safe before starting all over again. Running, hiding, catching, releasing until till we reached that cliff. I saw the panic in his eyes as I cut of any escape routes. I sprinted to push my whole body against him and throw him of the edge. I thought this was the end. I successfully hunted my prey. 

Then I heard the water splash. There waa water at the bottom of the cliff and Joel had fallen right into it. 

He survived. 

I could've continued but I knew that if I did Joel would die. The voices as well as my mind already felt satisfied so there was no reason for me to finish. And so I left.

I went back to the cottage. I was calm, like I knew I wouldn't be caught for coming inside with blood on my clothes. A quick look at the clock told me that we were only thirty minutes outside. But it was more like ten hours. Yet I didn't question it. 

Changing my clothes, burning the bloody ones far away and getting the smell of me was surprisingly easy. I'm not sure how I didn't wake anyone up. It didn't take long until I was in my sleeping bag again, like nothing had ever happened.

The next day Joel ran into the house in a panic. He woke up everyone. He told us about what had occurred and I felt a strange wave of pride at his fear. But I couldn't just confess to being the cause of Joel Trauma, however I thought I could tell jokes and try to lighten the moon, which worked somewhat. Lizzie, Grian and Etho drove him to the hospital to take care of the wounds. They told us to stay at the house together just in case. We all left at about lunchtime.

Joel has been paranoid ever since which is, as bad as this sounds, kinda good for me. His fear keeps my urge to hunt at bay. Of course it can't fully get rid of it but some chases here and there fulfill that enough. 

Honestly I don't feel bad for this, which I should, I know, but it keeps the voices quiet.

I wouldn't worry about that, afterall the Hound of Hell is coming. There will be no bark, only Bite.

Statement end."

-click-

The tape recorder stared at Jon after he finished the statement. The silence is broken by gentle knocking on the office door. 

"Come in."

The door is softly opened and reveals Martin with a cup in his hands.

"I hope I'm not disrupting you in the middle of a statement."

"I just finished the statement. You did not interrupt." 

While Martin puts down the tea on Jons desk, Jon flashes him a quick thank you before staring at the tape recorder again.

"Martin, try to find out everything you can find on a Martyn Littlewood and bring it to me."

"Littlewood? Yeah, I can do that." 

Martyn is about to leave the room yet he abruptly stops.

"Say... is that one of the tapes that was hidden away?"

Jon doesn't answer. Of course Martin had to realize that. For some reason there were many tapes that were hidden in a loose floorboard on the way to Elias's office. Gertrude couldn't have left them as the recent one was only a week old and the others were taken a hundred years ago. Elias on the other hand seemed smug when Jon had found them.

Who put them there didn't matter, at least not yet. What matters is why they were hidden. 

Jon exhaled loudly. He shouldn't focus on his questions.

He had statements to record.

#the magnus archives #life smp #secret life #martyn inthelittlewood #joel smallishbeans #traffic smp #trafficblr #traffic series #traffic fic #the magnus archive fic #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

[seaofgoldensand]

don't chase the rabbit. - a little tidbit of my past oc i found on an old blog, sobbing. feel free to read, i'm just sort of archiving it here. <3 tw: blood, murderer, mentions of sa, mention of drugs, alcohol, etc. just please read especially if you're easily triggered. take care of your mental health, this was/is still an outlet for me. also i tried to tag accordingly, back then when writing, tw tags weren't common? i really didn't tag them because the people i followed/interacted with were fine with the same writing (and it was all through words, i never posted anything graphic) but if i missed a tag that should be in the tags or you guys have any suggestions how to properly tag triggers, please let me know!

blood, blood, and more blood.

calloused digits are tainted with the remnants of blood from the one person he truly hated. he's smiling because he's finally gone and away from his life.

"monster! you monster!" his mother sobs, pushing her son away. "…he loved me."

monster.

the word resonates in his head as his eyes glow red. maybe he is a monster. maybe he wasn't. he doesn't know and little by little he slowly begins not to care. he's laughing, rather maniacally and points to the dead body slashed by the edges of the broken beer bottle and even raises his voice at his own mother.

"you think that bloody bastard was a goddamn lover to you?!" he asks incredulously, eyes boring holes into his mother. "he didn't love you worth shit!" and he eases forward, even when she eases back, her eyes speak of something. fear. it doesn't stop him from striding forward. he grabs onto her arm and tugs the sleeves up. "you think i never saw this bullshit? these bruises? they're not love."

a slap to his face causes him to still, quiet as a mouse and if tears were to spill from his eyes. they don't, because he's learned to hold such emotions back. they sting, though. but they will never fall.

"you monster, he loved me. everything he did was for me! monster…monster…monster! get the hell away from me!"

he drops the broken beer bottle and tugs his hoodie up and as he hears sirens from a distance, he grabs his backpack (the one he always had prepared in times like this or any time to escape from the presence of the dead bastard) and hops out of the window, onto the fire escape and descends down, letting the darkness of the alley conceal him from anyone's eyes.

monster.

monster.

monster.

the word resonates in his head. his mother's voice pinning itself into his mind, but he shakes his head and doesn't let up on the pace of his feet, hopping over fences and landing down on his feet and the shock is brief before he's picking up into a run. he knows of a place he can hide out. somewhere no one will find him.

it hasn't quite hit him that not only was his step father gone from the world (by his doing) but he murdered him. he's a criminal. a murderer…a monster. he shuts his eyes tight and shakes his head as if the images playing in his head would fall off. of course they don't. he's stuck with the look of his mother's face and the look of his step father's face. there's something in his eyes that he didn't quite register and even until now. he still doesn't it.

for all he could honestly feel towards the older man was the ill he had injected in his mother. the brainwashing, the abuse and how it all gets taken out on him. he tries to forget in between those the things having been done to him those nights he was left vulnerable in his room with an apartment full of bloody drunk bastards looking for some young meat, fulfilling their hidden desires for the same sex.

what a mess he was.

what a mess he is.

finally once the voices quieted down in his head, he sleeps soundly. like a baby.

the morning he wakes up sweaty and panting, eyes shot open as he shoots up. dizziness overcomes him and he has to hold himself still to prevent himself from losing balance, albeit he's flat on his ass merely sitting up. he scrambles for his phone, digits searching through his phonebook, several miss calls from his mother that he won't get back to. he knows how it all goes.

his mother calls, he comes home. the only difference is, if he does, he'll be cuffed and sent to the police station. trialed as an adult (he wasn't sure, he was thirteen for god's sake) —a lifetime in prison? he'd rather have death.

#READ MORE BC JESUS LORD #tw: sa mention #tw: death #tw: murder #tw: alcohol #writing #drabble #i must be fucked up bc goddamn this is not triggering to me #tw: drugs #im a little messed in the head i know #but maybe bc i see it as fiction #it was so clear in my head tho but i had a very strong connection to this muse #cathy writing stash #i... really miss this writer in me #i hope to get her back honestly