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#and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN.
mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually
#my stance up to now has been that i don't really care about tim/ber but now that i have read this. dude...#it sucks that they gave a canon queer tim narrative to someone who uses homophobia as shock value and virtue signaling points#and who actively tears down characters who don't like her special little uwu flawless oc (kate im so fucking sorry)#there's no substance to this relationship i don't see why they even like each other#bc she keeps just stating oh they're perfect they make each other so happy but she doesn't like. show that at all#and i HATE the shock value homophobia like i cannot overstate how much i hate it#oh these random cops are homophobic (that's how you know they're BAD!)#oh bernard's parents are homophobic (that's how you know THEY'RE bad too!)#it's so hamfisted and it reads like such. cheap storytelling#especially bc tim as narrator doesn't even get to have ANY thoughts on his own queerness or seeing this homophobia in the world around him#and then she can't go more than two pages without being like BTW BERNARD IS THE BEST EVER AND TIM CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM#while against this ugly backdrop of shock value homophobia#there's no substance to this relationship. why do they even like each other. it just falls apart if you examine it at all#because she just is fundamentally incapable of writing either of them as people with character flaws#for fucks sake she can't even be consistent with tim's BASIC character tenets. ''i always dreamed of being batman'' false lmao#but then to follow it up with ''i never wanted to be batman i always wanted to be my dad''#and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN.#yeah sorry im a hater now. this was shit tier#rimi talks
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scintillyyy · 1 year
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🌼🌸🌼Janet Lynn Drake Reading Guide🌼🌸🌼
(excluding, ofc, nu52 because i haven't read it)
(for my girl. there's so little, it's so easy to read her ❤️)
batman (1940) #436. year three, janet and jack from dick's/neutral pov the night at the circus
batman (1940) #441. a lonely place of dying, jack and janet from tim's pov the night at the circus
detective comics (1937) #618-#621. rite of passage, jack and janet's kidnapping and janet's death.
batman (1940) #455-#457. identity crisis, janet's funeral. tim calls her mommy. and hallucinates her.
robin mini-series i #1. tim visits her grave
batman (1940) #480, tim and jack visit her grave
batman chronicles #4. "beggar's banquet" story, she appears in tim's dying dream
batman: legends of the dark knight #100. "the choice". at the circus from bruce's pov.
secret origins 80 page giant, "little wing". we see janet in the background and tim mentions she covered his eyes as she hurried him out of the big top.
robin (1993) #100. tim remembers going into the city with janet and jack.
robin (1993) #112-#113. jack is missing janet. is visited by a valkyrie to make him choose between his dead wife and dana. given he doesn't even remember his old wife's name and calls her catherine, he probably made the right choice in sticking with dana.
robin (1993) #156. she only appears on a page as tim remembers all the people he's lost over the years.
robin (1993) #183. she appears as a hallucination. she's not nice, but also, tim is able to tell immediately that that's not really her.
batman: blackest night #1-#3. okay, she doesn't actually show up as a zombie until issue #2, and she's basically there to tell tim to go to jack and have almost no presence herself because god forbid we focus on the mother for once, but zombie janet is there at least <3 looking fierce in her black latern corp outfit. or as fierce as one can be.
red robin #22. tim visits her grave.
batman (2016) #134. "the toy box: part 4". only non-post-crisis story that matters for janet tbh, so good it deserves a place with post-crisis.
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msfcatlover · 1 year
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Changeling!Tim’s childhood is... actually kinda horrifying, when anyone looks into it.
(CW for forced medical procedures, and abuse in the form of temporary imprisonment. Also, minor self-harm, and… I don’t know what you call “eating something that will make you sick so your parents don’t get mad at you,” but I know it ain’t good.)
Tim had pretty pronounced fangs when he was younger, which his parents were just planning to wait out... until he was fast coming up on 10 and it was clear Tim wasn’t going to lose his teeth. A quick x-ray proved that Tim didn’t have adult teeth to grow in, just the one set he came with, and the fangs were only getting more obvious. His parents found an orthodontist willing to yank the fangs & wire up the rest of Tim’s teeth with braces to force them to look smooth & even as he grew up. (The doctor kept the teeth as a curiosity, and a decade later Damian will track that doctor down to steal them back.)
Something even Tim didn’t realize until he had to undergo a full Justice League-grade medical exam in preparation for becoming Robin, is that the tiny points on his ears aren’t natural. They have no idea what the ears of the baby Jack & Janet received looked like, but Tim’s points are actually mostly scar tissue. (Bruce puts it down as “a cosmetic procedure not dissimilar to ear cropping in canines” and tries not to feel sick.)
(There was also a period where the Drakes did an awful lot of research into cosmetic eye surgeries, but they eventually gave up. Apparently, it was a bigger concern that their son might end up blinded than that his eyes glowed in the dark and/or were the wrong color.)
As I mentioned before, Tim’s parents trim his thorns so that nobody goes to ruffle Tim’s hair and realizes he’s not human. He... actually started doing it himself when he decided to become Robin, because Tim has seen Bruce ruffle Jason & Dick’s hair so many times and didn’t want to hurt Bruce (or experience the absolute agony of having a thorn get caught in Bruce’s gloves and end up ripped out of Tim’s scalp,) as well as not wanting to give away Tim’s own inhuman nature with the single most obvious trait he has. (When the rest of the family find out, they are horrified and insist that Tim stop doing that. Instead of hair-ruffles, Tim gets hair-strokes that go only in one direction, bumping harmlessly over the curved outer edges of his thorns; it’s actually very soothing for both parties. Everyone absolutely uses Tim’s thorns as a stim toy, as long as Tim’s okay with it.)
Tim’s parents also hire an in-house barber to cut Tim’s hair, so they can make sure it’s “properly disposed of.” (Tim’s nightmares always smell faintly of burning hair.)
Tim wears fancy dress gloves to all dinners, because with the uppercrust you never know if someone’s going to bring out the real silverware. (If someone tells him to take off the gloves or Tim’s skin happens to brush up against somebody’s jewelry, Tim just sorta has to... deal. It’s rude to rush out or refuse your hosts, after all.) (Fortunately, Dick and the Titans all prefer reusable plastic silverware. And as soon as any Bat finds out about Tim’s fae nature, Wayne Manor quickly switches to stainless steel.)
It’s nearly impossible to know if a meal was prepared with iodized salt or non-iodized salt until it’s already in Tim’s mouth and the burning-itching discomfort of coming in contact with an anti-fae substance begins. It’s rude not to at least try the food someone offers you, and it’s even ruder to just spit something out, especially out in public. At least Tim doesn’t usually have to fake it when he says he’s not feeling well in order to stop eating. (Tim doesn’t tell the Waynes about this until that medical exam, where he kinda jokes about being allergic to salt and someone’s like, “Wait, how do you eat? Everything has salt in it nowadays.” Alfred rather forlornly puts his sea salt up on the top shelf and buys a jar of iodized table salt on the next grocery run.)
Tim’s blood is immediately identifiable because it has chloroplasts in it. No, he’s not actually a plant; yes, he can perform limited photosynthesis. No, Tim was not aware of this about himself, he’s never been allowed to give blood before, and like??? Sure, he figured out he was a changeling, but that does not immediately translate to, “Oh, I should test my blood for plant cells!”
Tim’s room doesn’t look any different from any other boy his age... except for three nails over the door on the outside. For the iron horseshoe Tim’s parents hang there sometimes, when they don’t want him to bother them or when he’s grounded. (Thankfully, it's been very rare for Tim to actually be trapped in his room, as setting up a salt line on his windowsills has always been... well, he's not sure. A step too far, even for his parents? A step too many to remember and/or perform in the heat of the moment? Something they don’t even realize is necessary, assuming the horseshoe prevents Tim from leaving the room at all rather than simply crossing that one threshold? Tim doesn’t like to think about it. Tim typically stays in his room anyway when he feels the swooping nausea of it hanging over his door, if only so his parents don’t find him missing and decide sealing the windows is something they ought to be doing. Trapped not by any law or binding ritual, but by Tim’s own admittedly rare fear of consequences.) (After Tim is snatched by faerie hunters, Jason and Dick are the ones who search Tim’s house. There’s a moment of silence when they find the horseshoe and realize what the nails are for. “I really hope I don’t have to point this out,” Jason says, in the tone of someone who’s going to do it anyway, “but it’s never a good sign when a kid’s bedroom has a lock on the outside.”) 
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Top 10 Best Polish DUBs part 2
6. The Ice Age franchise, similar to the Shrek and Madagascar franchises, seems to be way more popular and liked in Poland than in the USA. While the general sentiment in the US is that the first one is somewhat of an underrated classic and the best and every single one got only worse and worse. Meanwhile, in Poland, its sequels are held in much higher regard. Yet again, it's thanks to the funnier dialogue and much better voice actors. Sid became an iconic character just like Donkey from Shrek or King Julian from Madagascar, most likely thanks to the fantastic work of Cezary Pazura, an actor and voice actor who makes everything he's in so much better. Piotr Fronczewski as Diego is also great with his warm fatherly voice he sounds way more sincere. If Diego had the same voice in the English version he would have even more simps fans. Wojciech Malajkat is great as Manfred. He would later voice Puss in Boots from Shrek. As the franchise went on not only the quality of writing went downhill but also they started casting celebrities instead of the real VAs or even regular actors. Queen Latifah, Drake who was in like 5 minutes of a movie.
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7. Winx Club is way better in Polish, in my opinion. I don't know if it's because their VAs aren't actual teenagers who don't have as much experience, or if they're adults trying to sound like teens and failing miserably, or if their voices are just that annoying. Whatever the case might be the Polish actors strike a great balance between sounding mature but youthful at the same time. Like teens that are on their way to becoming adults but still with some childish tendencies. Not a twelve-year-old trying to sound grown-up or a 40-something-year -old trying way too hard to be cool and hip with the kids. And Polish versions of the songs are amazing.
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8. Totally Spies makes their heroins sound way more mature just like Winx Club. To not repeat myself let me tell you about something different, the dialogue changes. It's not censorship or completely changing the meaning of the dialogue but the vocabulary. In the show, they are very much Valley girls. In the Polish version, they still use slang that was (and still is) used in Poland at the time but they also were capable of using big words. Maybe English slang is more annoying, at least to me.
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9. W.I.T.C.H. BLAH BLAH better and more mature voices BLAH BLAH better and funnier dialogue BLAH BLAH. What is worth mentioning are the voices of the male characters. Caleb's English VA doesn't fit him whatsoever. I know Greg Cipes sounds like that even as an adult but still. If Caleb looked like his comic version he would be fine but not when he looks like he is 18 or older. Imagine my shock after growing up with the Polish deep manly voices only to watch the English version and hear boys who haven't finished going through puberty yet. I've heard that the Polish language is sometimes referred to as snake language because of the ć, ś, ź, ż, sz, cz, and many other sounds, so Cedric's VA has a time to shine. English Phobos sounds more whiny than menacing.
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10. Shark Tale is regarded as one of the worst animated movies ever both in terms of animation and the story. Highly exaggerated in my opinion. I mean it's not great but it's not Food Fight, Video Brinquedo, Animated Titanic, and many others. I think why it's not as hated by me and many other Poles it's thanks to its dubbing. I don't know if you know this, but there is a Polish comedy ''Kiler''. The whole plot of the movie is that the main character is mistaken for a killer. So, the Polish dubbing of Shark Tale is basically a parody of this movie. They even got Cezary Pazura (the guy playing Sid) who played the main guy in ''Kiler''. Instead of gay-lisped Jack Black we have Jarosław Boberek aka King Julian. Now that's a team-up better than the Avengers.
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It was a surprisingly hard list to make, not because there are no great Polish dubbings but because there are so many good ones. Any movie or show could've been on the list. To make it easier I asked myself ''What Polish dubbings are better than the original?'' and ''What dubbings had the biggest impact on me but also on my country as a whole?''.
The reason why most of the list consists of shows and movies from the early 2000s is because that's when Poland had a little golden age. There were a bunch of great movies and shows coming out, so it was easy to strike gold. (And that's when I was born.) Now with all the trash coming out, it's way harder to do. The translators for ''Wish'' tried their best to fix those broken lyrics.
But nobody's perfect. I'm a firm believer that there is no terrible Polish dubbing but they still can make mistakes, questionable decisions, and voices that will make you switch the channel until they stop talking.
See you soon, in ''Top 10 worst Polish DUBs''.
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deadcactuswalking · 5 months
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 02/12/2023 a.k.a. a Deep Dive into '10 Hour Deep Relaxation'
Content warning: Christmas, some language, sex and politics
Welp, it’s officially Christmastime on the chart, and I really wanted an easy week in the first place. So thankfully they gave me one, no debuts in the top 75, “Lovin’ on Me” by Jack Harlow is still at #1, I’m going to do the rundown, two reviews for song suggestions and dip. Welcome to perhaps the least essential episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS!
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Rundown
Brenda Lee’s at #14, Mariah’s at #6 and for the first time this year, a Christmas song is in the top five: “Last Christmas” by Wham!. This means that I’m in the space every year when I can mess with the structure because there is no ordinary chart week from now on, and I’m kind of glad because things tend to get busy this time of year anyway. Our top five is rounded out by “greedy” by Tate McRae at #4, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #3, “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan surprisingly at #2 and of course, Jack Harlow coming in for a third week at the top.
Whilst we’re discussing the non-holly and non-jolly songs on the chart, there are a few gains and returns that have nothing to do with the holidays. Drake’s “IDGAF” featuring Yeat returns to #61 in the stead of “You Broke My Heart”, which drops off from its debut last week, and then we have “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims gaining at #53. We then may as well bid adieu to the songs falling victim to the holiday plague this week, also known as our notable dropouts. They peaked in the top 40 or stayed in the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, for five weeks, but now they’re out, and they are: “Nice to meet you” by PinkPantheress featuring Central Cee, “Seven” by Jung Kook featuring Latto, “adore u” by Fred again.. and Obongjayar, “Desire” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith, “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish, “Daylight” by David Kushner, “Calm Down” by Rema, assisted by the remix with Selena Gomez, “Another Love” by Tom Odell and of course, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers.
Now for the surge of festivities - I’ve already told you the three highest and that’s all I’ll tell you for now until they creep higher into the top five. As for now, as with all Christmas weeks, I’ll only mention the songs that are making it to the top 75 for the first time for this year’s round in this week, or songs reaching new peaks. In the first category, we see the grand returns of “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #70, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #60, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #58, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by WIzzard at #55, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #54, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #52, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #51, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #47, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #46, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #45, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by the late John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band and the Harlem Community Choir at #44 - only time I’m saying that one, always a relief. The sooner we get to that mouthful, the better. We then continue with “Snowman” by Sia at #40 and “Merry Christmas” by Ed Sheeran and Elton John at #17, with the Amazon original tracks “Stay Another Day” by Jorja Smith and “You’re Christmas to Me” by Sam Ryder reaching new peaks of #38 and #23 respectively.
And whilst we’re here, if I covered the entire top 100, which I have an array of reasons why I don’t but they’re becoming increasingly irrelevant, I would still only be reviewing one song: “#skeptacore pt. 3” by Ryder and Skepta, a cute little wistful weightless grime remix of a Skepta track that I actually checked out when it was released a month or two ago.I’m holding out for it to stick past Christmas because it’s actually pretty brilliant. If it doesn’t end up in the top 75 in January, well... it got Best of the Week in absentia. Let’s review randomly-selected songs from the batch provided to me by viewers like you.
SUGGESTED REVIEWS
Suggestion #1
Like Santa pulls gifts from his sack, I pulled out two randomly-selected song suggestions from the 49 that I now have, except I excluded a certain suggestion submission because he… sorry, it’s anonymous. SOMEONE added like morbillion songs so I actually chose from 20, and then I chose from 19, because someone else suggested Travis Scott’s “FE!N” as if I hadn’t reviewed it before. Regardless, our first suggestion is “Like a River” by Frederico featuring Tiffany Aris. Frederico is a German producer hiring Brussels-based singer Tiffany Aris for a dance-pop effort and it’s pretty effective. It has a decent amount of melodrama with the unnecessary reverb and how it starts with an overwhelming level of synth suffocation, and it almost reminds me of 2013’s weird blend of folk and EDM given the heavy and sometimes pretty stripped use of acoustic guitars as the main melody in the verses, it reminds me of “Counting Stars” especially with the snaps and several dusty layers of acoustics that eventually propel into a pretty typical house beat, with cascading synths pushing in during the chorus. I respect how it goes for more of a house format instead of a build-drop EDM structure, so the song - however basic its lyrics - does ground its narrative a bit more effectively. Aris is a good singer and whilst the chorus does feel cluttered with the several attempts at a hook, which only gets worse when she starts doing vocal riffs and backing vocals eventually, she is surprisingly emotive throughout all of it. As a song, it’s functionally fine, but it’s also just not my thing, honestly. I can appreciate a lot of genres but this kind of phase-through-you dance-pop glut feels more fitting for an advert than being on Spotify as a full song, and I do think it runs out of steam by the end. Like I said, the chorus throws a lot of hook melodies at you, in a pretty rushed fashion, and we get a song that sacrifices its respect for catchiness. That wouldn’t be a problem if those hooks were more punctuated or really damn good, but what we have here just isn’t all too up to par. Sorry.
Suggestion #2
Our second suggestion is… a bit unorthodox. One joker suggested one song and one song only, “10 Hour Rain, Thunder, and Lightning | Deep Relaxation, Meditation, and Sleep”. The song I assume they meant by this, the highest search result on Spotify and only one I could find with that exact name, even down to the Oxford commas, is far from 10 hours. In fact, it’s five minutes and three seconds. Released in 2022 on the label Truefin Music, which seems to be one guy, who is the same guy the song is credited to. It may be by “10 Hour Deep Relaxation” but in reality it’s by a self-declared “music man” from Miami, Florida, who also goes by Bluefin Music online. He released his first single in 2018 under the name Tropical Punk, and it’s a cute little Spanish jam called “Mar y Sol” that whilst amateurly mixed as one would expect, is actually decently professional and very fun for what it is. I could see it as a theme song for a show about some groovy Hispanic surfers, I don’t know, it’s fun. He released a second song in 2019, “Dragonfly_summernight”, and it’s not great, it’s more ambitious than the last as well as being slower and in English, and it just doesn’t feel like a very natural fit. He could have usually found himself in this pop rock lane though. It sounds a bit like a local band rather than a singer-songwriter but with some refinement I can see a lot of appeal in this sound that’s informed by 80s soft rock cheese whilst still being relatively contemporary and with an… interesting vocal take. Hell, I actually really like the bridge and think it’s a pretty inspired little detour. So, naturally, after I found out that the 10 Hour Deep Relaxation guy was a failed two-song singer-songwriter, real name Gustavo Ordunez, it’s not doxing if it’s on Spotify, I checked his social media to see if there was any explanation to why he switched to the ambient stuff. So I looked through ALL of his Tweets. Or Xeets, I suppose.
We do get kind of a story here. In 2011, he Tweets that he made his account because he has a chance of winning $1000, and maybe that budget when to recording his two songs, who knows? He appears to have been romantically involved with one “jellsbells07”, whom he pretty consistently made loving posts towards, and called her the prettiest white girl he knew. On March 5th, 2012, he posted that she was a dick, and then a minute later, that she was the “most beautiful lady in all the lands”. In November, he got a new phone and by December, he was making passive-aggressive Tweets about a girl missing out on Italian food, and given some other Tweets at this time, they may have broken up, as in early 2013, he Tweeted that he was on the cusp of reanimation, went to strip clubs, and in April, Tweeted separately: “Man mode active” and “#thisbitch”.
He started being all profound in May of 2013 before the end of the month where, maybe they didn’t break up, maybe it was temporary, maybe all this time they were friends, who knows? Either way, he started Tweeting jellsbells again, notifying her that he was listening to 2Pac outside of a Starbucks, “#thuglife”. Then he started tracking his runs, which he does for like half a decade on Twitter. Interestingly enough, in October of 2013, he was still Tweeting his possible former lover jellsbells with stuff like “Real man breakfast” and how someone “don’t need no women”, which just seems like harassment at that point but I’m sure I’m missing some needed context and deleted or private replies. In November, he Tweeted possibly the best one liner of all time: “Don’t piss and text. #splashmountain”.
By December of 2013, he was defnitely dating jellsbells again because he was hornyposting on main, and we find that he is still in education during February of 2014. He was grinding at the gym this year, setting “impressive cardio records” and being generally appreciate of human anatomy, stating that “thumbs totally […] rock”. He gets a bit boring talking about his workouts and biceps in brief anecdotes, but on Christmas Day… he posts feet. To be clear, he actually just retweets an image someone else had posted showing three people, one of which is Ordunez, with varying levels of footwear. I don’t know which one is him, but there’s feet regardless.
He once again started to Tweet reclusive, fake-woke one-liners in 2015, ones that I’m sure he’d be embarrassed by now, as well as continuing to track his runs. In May of that year, he Tweeted, without context, “Lol irony”, and in June, “I care for you. I really do, I really do”. I hope jellsbells07 is okay.
That month, he went on a bunch of runs and listened to Paramore’s “Ain’t it Fun”, and he was actually really active during this time but I can’t lie, most of it is abstract and slightly insufferable non-Tweets that are half-poetic. In July, he Tweeted, “the microchip has been compromised” and in August, “I beats meats man”. These are not the only political posts I could find from our protagonist, he Tweeted against capitalism in September, but I just like the dichotomy. He touched a manatee in February of 2016 and continued to track his runs. That’s what he spent most of the year doing, he didn’t Tweet much that year so I assume it was an inward-looking year. He had some what appear to be post-breakup posts, retweeted Neil deGrasse Tyson and some posts criticising Donald Trump, but that kind of appears to be it.
It’s much of the same in 2017, with even less of a Twitter presence, the vast majority of it being tracking his runs through the same third-party app, which he probably forgot was still doing that. In December, however, he did Tweet that his big regret from 2011 was “not staying in school full-time”, which is… interesting, given that he’d been more outwardly depressive and political in the years before? In January of 2018, he was actually still quoting and tagging jellsbells, and this seems to align with a new brief period of activity early this year, with mostly very positive, wholesome Tweets about how he’s blessed and filled with love, posting a rare selfie in April and yes, still tracking his runs. Possibly my favourite Tweet from him is on May 1st, 2018, and it reads: “BOY DO I LOVE DOING STUFF FOR PEOPLE I LIKE”.
In June, however, he had another one of those semi-poetic, vaguely coherent breaking down moments, which came with a lot of Tweeting as well, some of which was oddly funny, like him quote-Tweeting a picture of a snake in a boot from a year prior, questioning why he’s thinking about it, but most of it just seems a bit sad, but by August, he says he was in bliss… and thanked Taco Bell for words of wisdom. In October, he retweeted Russell Brand. I think he knew. In November, he released his debut single.
He went on a bit of a Twitter break until January of 2019, wherein he got even more abstract, with a lot of motivational weirdness throughout that entire year, and by the entire year, I meant two years because he was doing this in 2020 as well. In fact, he took most of 2019 off - despite apparently playing a gig around 2018 and 2019 time, probably to do with his single release - and returned to Twitter in July of 2020. It got borderline conspiratory at times. In November, he started streaming on Twitch, but he doesn’t have any VODs so I couldn’t find anything of interest. It seems like he was doing some gaming but also just livestreaming his musical creative process, which is really cool. He streamed on Twitch pretty constantly during the last two months of 2020, but he hasn’t Tweeted since 2021 or liked anything since 2022. Truefin Music appears to be his brand, I think he’s from Cuba, he seems like a decent guy, I just genuinely have no idea why he made this pivot other than I guess the streaming money but he didn’t announce it anywhere. Maybe he’s kind of ashamed? I don’t know, maybe I would be too.
It’s beautiful but also a bit worrying that I have created this perspective of Ordunez. I don’t really know much about this guy, but I also feel like I know everything from this journey. I’ve just created a guy, a character. In my mind, he’s married to jellsbells07 and he still listens to 2Pac outside of a Starbucks, just now the clean version in his car with his one-year-old son in the passenger seat. Maybe he made the 10-hour meditation single to stop him from crying.
For the record, his relaxation release isn’t even great, it’s a stream-trolling, maybe even stolen ambient palette that isn’t really dynamic enough to feel effectively like ambiance. It’s honestly quite the opposite, at least to me, it’s a bunch of fuzz most of the time instead of being what it describes itself as, but from what I see on his Twitter, the man is honest to a fault and also somewhat pretentious, but willing to put himself out there. I’ve looked through all this man’s non-reply Tweets - maybe the replies could be a further episode - and the singles he made in the late 2010s make so much more sense to me than this 2022 pivot, and it’s pretty telling that he only released the one ambient track.
I would like to end this weird, unexpected way of handling this suggestion by reciting two consecutive Tweets made by Gustavo “10 Hour Deep Meditation” Ordunez in 2013 that particularly resonated with me, and I think will provide a great deal of closure to our story. Ahem…
“A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men.” “You know what guys get for free? Handjobs. From ourselves.”
Thanks for everything, Gustavo.
Conclusion
Hopefully next week there’ll be people starting to clammer for that Christmas #1? Or you know, anything at all? But I can’t lie, these slow weeks where I can have a nap and wake up to doing a really simple, dry episode… kind of growing on me, man. If you read this, thanks? Rest in peace to Shane MacGowan, and I’ll see you next week.
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year
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Random comic issues from the local antique store: an overview, part 4/5
Batman #480 (June 1992). I had read this one before, digitally, and was glad to find it (and in decent condition, compared to the others I picked up) because it's such an important issue for understanding Tim's relationship with his father--a role which is becoming increasingly transferred to another man.
Tim's father, Jack Drake, is still in the hospital, needing to use a wheelchair and sometimes oxygen, but he's been allowed to go on an outing with Tim to visit Janet Drake's grave--only to find that her headstone has been vandalized by a gang who left behind their markings. Jack is very upset by this and declares that he wants whoever did this to be caught. His rage escalates into panic, and Tim (who, by the way, is about thirteen or fourteen at this point) has to administer oxygen and calm him down. Jack is grateful for the help and ready to finally put some effort into being a father--and this worries Tim, who by now is very committed to his secret new life as Robin.
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From here on, the story is interspersed with excerpts from an emotionally raw letter Tim is writing to his dad. (I'll give you the whole letter at the end, hold on.)
A little later, the Drakes are back at the hospital, and Jack, who will be discharged the next day, expresses relief that as of tomorrow Tim will no longer "be imposing on Bruce Wayne." He thinks that Bruce, "a womanizer--a playboy," is a bad influence on Tim. Tim tries to stick up for Bruce, but Jack's not having it. (A bit jealous of the man who seems to have replaced him in his son's affections?)
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The CEO of Drake Industries stops by and mentions that Tim will be working for the business part-time starting the next week. Tim's reply is a shocked "I am?" but he's quick to dutifully add, "I mean, of course, whatever my father wants."
Later, Alfred, driving Tim back to the manor, asks if he will be moving out. Tim, looking downcast, explains that his dad wants to move back to their penthouse, even if it's not the most convenient location for a wheelchair-user. Alfred is just as upset about this as Tim, possibly more. Tim's trying his best to maintain an air of cynical acceptance.
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...but he privately has no intention of leaving his new life.
As they drive on, Tim has Alfred suddenly stop the car. He's spotted the gang that vandalized his mother's grave, and he confronts them (still in his civilian identity, of course) and leaves them temporarily incapacitated in an alley. Alfred suggests that this is a "last hurrah" for him, but Tim insists that he's still planning to go on patrol tonight.
As the sun goes down, Alfred addresses his concerns to Bruce. He thinks a boy Tim's age "should be going out, dancing, socializing, making friends!" Bruce agrees but points out that it was Tim who was so adamant about becoming Robin, even when Bruce tried to dissuade him. Alfred says it will be especially hard for Tim having to take care of his father on top of his other obligations: "The boy will never have a chance to lead even a semblance of an ordinary life!" And Bruce replies with the same words as Tim earlier, "Whoever said life was fair, Alfred?"
When Tim arrives, Bruce tries to let him off for the night, but Tim insists, "No. I should be out there. It's my job." Bruce asks again if he's sure he's up to it. "Positive," Tim says. "Why? Don't you think I am?"
Alfred is still concerned.
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On patrol, Bruce and Tim are looking into suspicious activity from the gang of vandals. While they wait, Tim brings up his current dilemma.
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"Won't hurt this once"? Although Bruce is willing to listen, he's not setting himself up as someone easy to be emotionally close with. Maybe he's trying to avoid getting too attached to another Robin. Maybe he doesn't want to encroach on a role that should be Tim's father's. Maybe some of both. Whatever the case, he's not giving any advice.
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Tim wants so badly to be able to tell his father the truth! But first there are more pressing concerns.
Turns out the gang is in cahoots with Drake Industries' CEO, who has been embezzling and is hoping to be able to blame it on Tim before anyone finds out what he's been doing. And of course, Batman and Robin put a stop to this. (Tim gets a probably very satisfying chance to beat up the CEO.)
Bruce offers to take Tim home, but Tim wants to "make my own way tonight" and swings off across the Gotham skyline.
Back at the manor that morning, he finishes and seals his letter. On his way out, he stops to speak to Bruce.
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Before he leaves, he throws his letter, addressed "to the Father I never knew," on the fire. "Just something I had to get out of my system," he says.
In the car, Alfred hands him an ad for a "spacious mansion" for sale. "I thought the country air might be good for your father's health," he says. "And of course, as it's right next door to Master Bruce's...well, it might be good for yours, too!" Tim, looking over his shoulder at Wayne Manor, promises to work on his father.
This is Tim's letter:
Dear Dad,
I wish we could go back and start over again! When I was a kid, I used to dream--to pray--that you and mom would stop travelling, forget business and just settle down. We'd be together, the way a family ought to be...
Now I have my wish. I'm going to be with you all the time. And it's tearing me apart.
Funny, how once you never seemed to care--at least, you never showed me that you did. And now you want to ruin my Life.
Do you really think we can start over...?
I've no idea who you think I am, Dad--but I'm not that boy. I had to fend for myself for a long time. I changed, Dad. I have a lot of...secrets.
You couldn't be more wrong about Bruce Wayne. Despite what he seems, he is the only truly great man I have ever known. He...helps people. And he never asks for anything in return.
I'm not interested in your business, Dad. I've already found my place in the world.
I know what I want to be!
So how does it sound, Dad? Your own son is Robin. Understand now why I can't come back? Gotham is a cesspool. Tragedy stalks on every street. I can help, dad. I'm needed!
Strange, how you can come to love a city. Even one as ugly and rotten as Gotham.
All those millions of people, the lines of their lives crossing, touching, tangling...almost as if the city itself is alive.
I love you, Dad--but I've found my place. I know who I am.
I'm part of my city.
Sometimes I wish we could start over...but I know we can't. We have to take things from exactly where we are.
This might not make a lot of sense to you. I only hope you understand.
Your loving son,
Tim
This is such a sad issue...because I've read a lot of Tim's solo, which picks up not long after this, and it really doesn't get better between Tim and his dad. The secrets and lies pile up, they don't understand each other because there's a vital piece of communication missing, and Tim gets increasingly stressed trying to juggle both his lives and fulfil obligations to two father figures.
Despite the risks involved, the best solution would have been for Tim and Bruce together to let Jack in on the secret early on and figure things out from there. That's something a parent has a right to know, especially if his child's safety is an issue, and Bruce, who himself is a parent and has lost a child, ought to understand that.
Instead (from what I understand, I haven't read this far), Jack finds out by accident, after his distrust of his son and resentment of Bruce Wayne have had years to build up and fester, and his reaction is Not Good. By the time he finally starts to accept Tim's being Robin...he's killed.
But that's the tragedy of these stories. Inability to communicate and trust leads to a lot of hurt.
Bonus from the "Bat-Signals" page of letters from readers: one reader writes, "IF TIM DRAKE DOESN'T RETURN TO THIS TITLE IN THE NEXT ISSUE, I AM SENDING LOBO AFTER YOU GUYS!!!" (This, of course, was years before Tim would have a young Lobo for a teammate.)
Next time: and now for something completely different--a Superman issue, featuring Kon in a supporting role.
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Note
So a bit different than the normal swap, also this time not Von Drake's fault either! The boys of the Kemonohito family and Dante were simply hanging with their doppelgangers while Vince and Apple are working on a chemistry set cause Apple hasn't tried to modern ways and Vince found Apple's set fun, when something (your choice) goes bad fast and a fume fills the room. Upon waking up the guys realized they swapped bodies with each other including of random memories in their mind and feelings.
So yeah now they have to fix that and come up with a plan of AU Joe in Joe's body getting a plant from Ursula's cave to settle the swap back potion.
Worst? Dante was gonna hang out with Zuri that day and Apple, for obvious reasons, didn't have he chance to inform all of them he has a date with Snow the same day
Why does this happen to them?
Why can’t they have a normal day without magic, thought to be fair it’s technically Apple and Vince’s fault.
Goofy apologized for bumping at their table while they all adjust to their new bodies.
What makes it worse was the headaches, soon those turn into glimpses of …something.
Malfie: a little Malachite on his playing the ukulele, and singing off-key.
Apple: a younger Vince trying his hand on the sword for the first time. The sword kept slipping out of his hands and nearly poked his eye out.
Joe: his counterpart’s younger self that food in a festival, with his mom beside him.
Jack: his younger counterpart pranking a teacher, he got caught but had the last laugh as baby powder exploded from the mug.
Dalmatia: Dante getting forcibly kissed albeit through a glass.
Once it was over they turned to their counterparts who also had the same look of realization. Not only they *switched bodies but also can see glimpses of memories and feelings.
Joe mentioned that Ursula has something in her workshop that might change them back. But unfortunately, with AU Joe in his body he has to get it himself.
This is fine, they done this before and they can do it again.
Dante gave Dalmatia a heads up on what he was supposed to do that day. Hanging out with Zuri, okay no problem.
Okay, big problem. She and him were harvesting some vegetables, when Grim came running to them. The cat collided with Dalmatia, the basket on his hand flew out and to the street below.
He and Zuri winced at the shouts and threats from the people. Before long, a police officer knocked on their door.
It must have happened before as the officer gave Zuri a knowing look and a ticket for community service.
Once they left, the girl sheepishly revealed the first time it happened it was on top of his car hood, though the few food that was saved was given to him in compensation.
Zuri looked at the ticket, it said she had to deliver food at the nearby soup kitchen, which didn't bother her as she usually grew too much anyway.
Dalmatia on the other hand sighed in relief.
The rest of the guys were doing okay, except for two.
AU Joe was having a hard time looking for the things they needed. Mainly because she's always almost home and if not, her eels were guarding the place.
And Vince, he felt like strangling his counterpart.
Snow White came up to him one day, at first there was nothing wrong and talked with her for a bit. Until she mentioned they're date.
His brain short-circuited for a while.
She then made some advances to him, he stiffen and try not show how uncomfortable he was. Luckily, one of the dwarves called for her.
Once she was gone, he retreated to his room and took deep calming breathes. He prayed his brother would find it soon.
And sure enough he did, they meet back at the House of Mouse and went to the back. AU Jack and Malachite supervised Vince.
Once back, Joe asked his counterpart on how he managed to get pass Ursula and her eels.
AU Joe: Oh, turns out you guys have same ingredients for a pill.
A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had almost no ideas for this
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teachingmycattoread · 9 months
Text
Things We've Yelled About This Episode #3.9
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, The Gawain Poet (all quotations from the Simon Armitage translation)
Merlin (2008-2012)
The Sword in the Stone (1963)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Geoffrey Chaucer (wiki)
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (wiki)
Beowulf (our episode here)
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, J. R. R. Tolkien; read by Terry Jones (audible)
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Simon Armitage
"...alliteration is the warp and weft of the poem, without which it is just so many fine threads", p. viii, Introduction to the above
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, J. R. R. Tolkien
Beowulf, George Jack
De Excidio Britanniae, Gildas
The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
Gandalf; The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
Beowulf, Seamus Heaney
Beowulf, Maria Dhavana Headley
chivalry etymology (wiktionary)
The campfire quote Eli is thinking of here
Leon Gautier's rules of chivalry here
Chosen people - Eli is referring to this post
Culhwch and Olwen (wiki)
Owain (wiki)
Merlin in his tree phase (wiki) Apparently sometimes he's also just...in a hole with a rock on top of it? Less cool, much funnier
Monopoly
"no evil in either of them, only ecstasy", p. 72
Courtly love (wiki)
relationship anarchy (manifesto, wiki)
"So I ask you again, come and greet your aunt and make merry in my house; you're much loved there, and by me more than most", p. 112
The first branch of the Mabinogi (wiki)
The Green Knight (2021)
Dev Patel (imdb)
a slitherer-outerer - from Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
"If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?" "Aaron Burr, Sir", Hamilton (spotify
The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan/Brandon Sanderson
Postcolonial interpretations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (wiki)
Mansplain, Manipulate, Malewife/Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss (meme)
This meme cw. rape mention
Jason Mendoza; The Good Place (2016-2020)
The Jason Mendoza school of problem-solving can be summed up by this gif:
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This scene from Wednesday (2022- )
This scene from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005 -) [image found]
Merle Highchurch; The Adventure Zone: Balance
The Merle Highchurch approach - referring to a scene in the TAZ: Balance arc Petals to the Metal in which Merle rolls to seduce a sentient plant
The Adventure Zone: Balance
This scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Blorbo from my shows (meme)
Cat Rating: 8/10
What Else Have We Been Reading
Bold of you to assume i can [x] (meme)
The Ashburnham House fire (wiki)
Batman, DC Comics
Pandaredd (youtube)
just me against the sky, magneticwave (ao3)
Rule 63 (meme? trope? piece of internet lingo?)
Tim Drake, DC Comics
Poison Ivy, DC Comics
This meme:
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Men at Arms, Terry Pratchett
Tress of the Emerald Sea, Brandon Sanderson
Brandon Sanderson's secret lockdown projects (polygon)
The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
The Bands of Mourning, Brandon Sanderson
Next Time on Teaching My Cat To Read
Alanna: The First Adventure, Tamora Pierce
0 notes
imagaintnerdwhosbored · 9 months
Text
Nightwing x oc
Chapter 3 please read todays notes!!!!
-- Hi! I'm bored, yet again, and have free time so, here's another chapter. Forgot to mention the main character in this book is Biromantic and asexual, so, if that's not your cup of tea don't read.
That night I had a dream. It was about a white room; snakes were biting onto my arms. While a person in a white uniform, muck like the one's the staff were wearing here, and a Jason mask from the movie was cutting into my arm's while I felt warm red blood dribble down my forearm and cascading to the ground.
I had woken with a start. A cold sweat soaked my hair. I was still in that same room I was in yesterday; I had thought that was a dream too.
The 5-year-old girl I seen yesterday was at my bedside. She looked a little panicked.
'I'm sorry! I didn't see you at breakfast and your room was the only one that wasn't closed so I came in to check on you'
'Where am I?' I had asked, a little frantic.
She seemed confused, smiled and said 'home!' I guess she read my expression and said.
'The place we lived most of our lives?'
'We only came here yesterday' I started to panic and look around my room. Yesterday my room had been blank no it was lined with stuff that looked like stuff I had drawn pictures of the kids I had seen yesterday and me.
'Remember? Lila, Owen, you, Jack, Po?'
Those names had sounded familiar for some reason. She was Lila, the one who could manipulate electricity, gold, Owen was the one who had telekinetic abilities, blue, I was Red the most destructive, Jack was green, has telekinetic abilities, and Po she was, Orange Mind control.
'Rorry?!' Lila started to look panic, I didn't want to scare her so, I acted.
'Sorry, that dream must have freaked me out a bit" I chuckled.
'Good, I thought I had to go get a doctor' She responded.
'Well, you should go get something to eat' And she started dragging me down to the cafeteria.
'That took forever, geeze' The kid jack had laughed.
'Calm down, it's not a big deal' Po had said.
I started to eat with my group it had felt like I had known them forever, but it also feels like I never met them. The entire time I was Lila had been grabbing my hand obviously shaken up over what happened today.
--Hi! Yet again please look at the notes at the top, also, why did I just find out that Tim Drake is bisexual and has a boyfriend!? Like I genuinely love them, and I just found out about this today. Should I make an a03 account for this book so more people will read it? And does it sound more fun to read on ao3?
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duuhrayliegh · 3 years
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my hero - request
request: anon: hi could you write a sebastian x female reader fic where she suffers from anxiety and feels bad because of it but he comforts her and tells her there’s nothing wrong with her and how strong she is even though she has this disorder
pairing: sebastian stan x female!reader
warnings: self-esteem issues, anxiety, toxicity in the fandom, language?
a/n: hey nona! you weren’t super specific on what type of anxiety that you wanted to reader to have, so if this isn’t what you had in mind, lmk and i’ll write you another fic! other than that i hope you like it!
p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!
xoxo ray
check out my m.list
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You and Seb met at a coffee shop in New York. It was totally cliche and seemed straight out of a storybook. You had somehow managed to spill coffee on that specimen of a man, and he was kind enough to let you pay for his dry cleaning. Your relationship didn’t grow until you ran into him again while you were at a bar with your friends. If he had any say in telling the story of how you met, he spotted you from across the smoky bar and he knew then and there that he had to get to know you. Truthfully, you liked his version, but the real one was just indescribable. It seemed, to you at least, that you were destined to be with this man. Seeing him twice in one week? Come on, that’s possible if you were in the small town you grew up in, but not New York.
You obviously had recognized him as an actor, but really you didn’t care. That’s what drew Sebastian to you in the first place. You treated him as if he was any other guy on the street, he was able to be a normal person around you. Now, two years later, you lounge on the couch of your apartment in LA that you shared with the man you love. He’s still auditioning for any role that catches his eye and you’re supporting him no matter what.
His fans for the most part adored you and your relationship with Sebastian. The fans who didn’t like you were your only issue with this whole affair, but they had nothing to do with Sebastian other than flood his socials with nasty messages about you. You weren’t perfect, that you knew all too well, and you tried to let the comments roll off your shoulders. Most of the time you were successful in your efforts, but other times they clung to your skin like an unwanted disease.
Sebastian was currently promoting his new project Endings, Beginnings. You were so unbelievably proud of Seb, he was doing something that made him happy. In this particular film, he was acting alongside Shailene Woodley, who was just amazing. Seb always came home gushing about the new inside jokes that they had come up with. One of your favorite things that Seb did with you was run lines. You liked having the inside scoop on his new works, but this one was harder for you. It had quite a few sex scenes between Seb’s character Frank and Shailene’s Daphne.
Not that it bothered you. Nope. Didn’t bother you. At all.
...mmm, okay maybe it bugged you a little. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Sebastian, it was… well you couldn’t really describe what it was. Whatever the case may be, it was putting you deeper and deeper into a funk, one that you were having a hard time coming out of. And Seb’s fans who weren’t in your corner, weren’t really helping you any.
A few nights ago, Seb surprised you with a casual night out in LA. He texted you before he got home and told you that he was going to be taking you out. Did he give you a dress code for the evening? No, he did not (wonderful, thanks so much Seb). You decided to dress in a half business casual, half rail me when we get home outfit. You ended up wearing an adorable bustier top that was embroidered with pretty blue and pink flowers, a pair of destroyed jeans covered your legs. You finished it off with a pair of nude heels, when you looked in the mirror, you thought you looked hot as fuck. It was around seven when Seb picked you up, mouth hanging open, in awe of your outfit.
“Oh my god. You look so beautiful, Y/N.” He opened the passenger door of his car after he hugged you, giving you a small peck on the lips. Sebastian drove you to a restaurant a block off of Thai Town called Home Restaurant.
“Babe, this place is so cute!” You squeezed Sebastian’s upper arm, jumping up and down beside him. “How’d you find this place?” Sebastian shook his head, smiling at you.
“I asked Shai, actually.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and your heart sank a little. Why did it do that? “She said that the paps hardly ever come around here.” He leaned down pressing a kiss to your temple. “I thought that draga mea deserved a quiet night out on the town.” His voice rasped as he spoke in his native tongue, making a shiver race down your spine.
“Well, tell her I said thank you.” You offered him a small smile. He wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing circles on the exposed skin above your jeans. He spoke with the hostess as your mind drifted away. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he guided you to your table. Sebastian sat across from you, staring deeply into your eyes. You brought your hand up to rest your chin on it, staring back at him. “How’s everything been going?” You were genuinely interested in the answer and it made your heart warm watching his face light up.
“It’s been going really well. Everyone we worked with was real nice, it made all the scenes more comfortable.” Seb’s eyebrows rose at the mention of the scenes and you knew which ones he was referring to.
“Oh, right.” You tried not to let your emotions show.
“Yeah, we’re about to start teasing some of them to promote the show.” Seb sighed at the thought of having to use social media, you shook your head at him.
“I’ll help you with it, you dork.” You laughed to hide your discomfort. “Which scene did they approve for the posts?” Sebastian began to speak when he was interrupted by your waitress. After the two of you ordered your food, the waitress returned with your drinks. Sebastian took a large gulp of his before answering your previous question.
“They want me to post the trailer and then the scene between Frank and Daphne at the bar.” You tried to think back to the script, remembering the context. Frank and Daphne were meeting after Daphne had gone out on a date with Jack. Daphne was claiming that she didn’t want to be a wedge in their friendship, then proceeded to make out with Frank. If you were recalling correctly, Frank and Daphne’s first sex scene followed soon after.
“Okay, we can do that. Do you have any behind the scene pictures you wanna post too?” Seb got out his phone, scrolling through his camera roll to see. He had several different photos of him with Jamie and then him with Shailene. He showed you his phone on a picture of Shailene leaned against him on a couch, her arm over his waist. A red filter colored the photo, you had to hand it to him, it was a good one to use. “We can post it whenever we get home, love.” Sebastian locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket, to focus solely on you.
“How has your day been, draga mea?” You bit your lip as you thought about what you’ve been doing. You’ve been working towards your Master’s, so your days have been filled with preparing for your dissertation. On top of that, you’ve become a bit of an influencer on different social media platforms. Really, you believe your popularity came from your relationship with Sebastian. You’ve been giving his fans the content that they’ve always wanted. Not only that, but you’re active with them.
“My day was good today. I had to edit a few papers from my other classmates but other than that I didn’t do much. I did make a few TikTok videos, but really today was a bit of a lounge day for me.” Seb smiled at you, proud of how hard you’ve been working.
“I should be getting a few days off soon, so we can relax together in the apartment, if you aren’t too busy with your classes.” He stretched his arm across the table, palm up waiting for your hand. Seb pulled your hand up to his mouth, placing a sloppy kiss onto the back of it. His eyes settled on you lovingly. To Sebastian, you were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
The two of you managed to finish your meal in peace. No fans came up to Sebastian asking for photos, no paparazzi swarms when you left, just a quiet meal for a normal couple in love. After you got home and you were snuggled in your pajamas alongside Sebastian in your comfortable bed, he handed you his phone to read over his post for his Instagram. The paragraph was sappy, about his time working with Drake, the director, and working with the rest of the cast. Seb always was a softy, never was able to hide it, especially in promo posts.
“It looks good to me. Are you going to post it now? Or wait until tomorrow morning?” Seb debated, he probably should wait and do it tomorrow, but he was most likely going to forget to do it. He clicked post, putting his phone on charge and snuggling into you.
“Thank you for always being there for me, Y/N.” He kissed your jawline, nuzzling his face into your neck. “It really means a lot to me, baby. I love you so much.” He wrapped both hands around your waist, pulling you to his front. You smiled wide, momentarily forgetting all of your troubles.
“I love you too, Seb.” You turned your head slightly, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Now let’s get some sleep, love.” Little did you know that a single post could ruin all of the progress that you thought you had made.
*********************
You woke the next morning, alone in bed. You could hear pots clanging in the kitchen of your home, bringing a smile to your face. Before you left the safety of your bed, you checked your socials out of habit. You opened Instagram first, seeing an absurd amount of notifications this early in the morning. Your smile dropped as soon as you opened the first post. Comments on Sebastian’s post about Endings, Beginnings and his chemistry with Shailene weren’t entirely out of the ordinary. They were to be expected, they were playing parts in a love triangle. People were ‘shipping’ Shailene with Seb and Jamie, so that wasn’t too crazy.
What hurt you were the comments saying, “living for shailene and sebastian! she’s a much better match for him than y/n.”
“never thought that y/n girl was going to last, glad he’s going w shailene”
“shailene and seb supremacy”
“yes! i’ve always supported seb in everything he’s done, but i rlly questioned him when he got w that y/n girl. what was he thinking?!”
Tears gathered in your eyes as you continued scrolling. You never thought you and Sebastian never fit. You knew that people had issues with your relationship, but you never let it get in your head this bad. You checked your explore page, pictures of you and Sebastian from last night were riddling the page.
Your heart dropped.
There were pictures of the two of you from last night with parts of your body circled. The exposed skin above your waistband, the excess skin on your neck and arms. You don’t know where they got these pictures, but your stomach was steadily sinking with each picture you saw. The door of your room opened, revealing a smiley Sebastian with a plate full of eggs in one hand and a cup of orange juice in the other.
“Good morning, baby.” You quickly shoved your phone away from you, wiping your tears away from your eyes to meet his. His brows furrowed immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You snuffled quietly, before answering.
“Uh, nothing. I’m just so proud of you.” You smiled at him, not wanting to bring down his already happy mood with your problems. Was that entirely healthy? Probably not, but you were doing it anyway, consequences be damned.
“Oh, well you don’t have to cry for me, Y/N. Even if you’re proud.” He walked up to your side of the bed, placing the cup and plate on your nightstand. He brought his hand up to your cheeks, wiping away your tear streaks. “You know that I only like to see tears whenever it’s me causing you so much pleasure you beg me to stop.” He winked at you, smirking at your rising blush. To say that didn’t lift your spirits for about half a second would be a lie. Sebastian brought the plate to your lap, waiting for you to start eating. At this particular moment, after seeing all those horrible pictures of your body, your appetite had gone out the window, but he was so smiley.
“After you eat, I want ya to shower.” Sebastian’s hand came up to your jaw, cupping it as you used it to chew the eggs. “We’ve got a long day of lounging and enjoying each other's company ahead of us.” Sebastian stood from the bed, throwing a wink at you as he left the room dramatically. You stopped eating soon after he left, the food tasting like ash on your tongue. At some point, you got into the bathroom, staring at the reflection in the mirror.
Your phone was in your hand again. The pictures flooding your Twitter feed. Shaky breaths left your mouth as you watched your reflection tilt its head. Tears began gathering in your eyes as it felt like you weren’t in your own skin anymore. You had worked so hard to be comfortable in your own body.
It’s amazing how just one picture can ruin everything.
You leaned forward on the countertop, hands holding up your weight. You shifted towards the mirror, examining every miniscule detail that your eyes could see. Your lids came down quickly, tears dragging down your cheeks. You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head back and forth.
“You are not going to let this get to you.” You took a few deep breaths as you turned on the shower. Not wanting to be around the mirror anymore, you kept your bath short, talking to yourself the whole time. By the time you left the bathroom, it was steamed completely, you couldn’t see your reflection even if you wanted to.
“He loves you.” You had a mantra and you continued to repeat it as you walked into your shared closet. “He loves all of you.” You pulled one of his old t-shirts off a hanger. “Sebastian loves you.” A pair of your underwear and his loose boxers covered your lower half. “Sebastian loves all of you.” You shoved your feet into a pair of fuzzy pink socks, leaving the closet still muttering to yourself. You tucked your phone into your waistband after checking your socials again. You know you shouldn’t have, but there was some part of you that just wouldn’t let you not.
The same shit covered your For You page on TikTok. Videos from the trailer of Seb and Shailene and then videos of you and Seb, comparing the two relationships. “They do fit well together.” You thought to yourself. A part of you wondering why Seb was with you in the first place.
“Did you say something, love?” Sebastian looked at you from the couch. A blanket was strewn over his lower half, his upper body inviting, waiting for you to join him. His smile dropped when he took in your glassy eyes instead of your usual happy expression.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” He started towards you, eyes running over your body for any outward injuries. An understanding look crossed his face when he saw your phone clutched in your hand. “Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Sebastian’s hands rested on your shoulders, lightly caressing your biceps. You recoiled from his touch, feeling uncomfortable in your own body.
“Just some stuff that some fans posted.” Seb’s thumb traced just under your eye, wiping away the tears. He held his right hand out for your phone, to understand what you were talking about. His brows furrowed deeply as he scrolled, not fully processing how destructive his fans could be. Sebastian always believed that they were the best fucking people in the world. He knew that they could be mean, but this was something else.
“They don’t know what they’re talking about, Y/N.” Sebastian’s voice was firm. It was almost strong enough to cut through the fog invading your brain, but not quite. You had officially zoned out. Dead to the world. Lost in your own thoughts. No matter how destructive those thoughts may be.
Sebastian noticed that you were already too deep, having experienced this with you many times before. He was aware that you were self-conscious, insecure, however you want to describe it. Your anxiety always got worse when you were stressed. Prepping for your dissertation was definitely a stressful time. Add on top of that, Sebastian was constantly pulling you from your work for various reasons. Had he contributed to this? Scratch that thought, he didn’t have time for that. He needed to bring you back down to Earth, back to him.
“Y/N.” His hands hovered over your hips. “I’m going to touch you for a second.” He directed you to the couch, settling on the coffee table in front of you. His fingers lightly traced circles onto your knees, as he assessed how he should approach this.
“Y/N. Baby?” Sebastian hesitated before bringing his fingers up to your chin, not wanting you to react badly. “I’m right here, Y/N, it’s Sebastian.” His left hand hadn’t left your knee, continuing to trace small patterns into your skin, giving you something to ground yourself with. He watched you blink and swallow harshly, inhaling sharply before opening your mouth.
“Why are you with me?” Your chin trembled with unvoiced sobs. “You deserve the world, Seb. I’m not even--” Your sentence was cut off by a loud whimper causing tears to start streak down. Sebastian wasn’t sure if this was a situation where you wanted him to be involved, so he waited for a sign.
“I’m not even worth a glance from you.” Your hand came up to wipe at your runny nose. “They’re so right. You need to be with someone like Shailene.” A bitter sob racked your body, making your body fold in half. Sebastian caught you before you hurt yourself.
“Y/N. I love you.” He always heard you say that to yourself when you thought he wasn’t listening. He knew that you suffered from anxiety, so he was always watching. Always paying attention to your little cues. The little things that he could use to help you as much as he could. “I love all of you.” He held one of your hands, running his thumb over the back of it.
“I don’t care what they say, baby.” He lifted your face to his, steel blue eyes locking with your cloudy pair. “I picked you.” He pecked your right cheek. “I want you.” A peck to your left. “I want only you.” One to your forehead. “It’s always been you, Y/N.” Another on your chin. “I love all of you, Y/N.” Sebastian landed a final short kiss to your lips, lingering for only a second.
“I want you to understand something, Y/N.” His gaze never left you. “I’m not going anywhere.” His brows raised as he hardened his voice. “I’m especially not going anywhere at the behest of my fans. I love them to death, but they don’t get to decide who I love.” Sebastian shifted to sit next to you on the couch. “Is it okay if I put my arms around you?” All he got was a brief nod in return, which was expected.
“I’m yours, Y/N. As much as you’re mine.” His arms descended around you, wrapping you in a loving embrace. You turned to face him fully, bringing your own arms around his waist, shoving your head into his neck.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with all my shit, Seb.” Sebastian almost missed your comment because you spoke into his shoulder and through loud snuffles. He backed away to look you in the face.
“I signed up for this, Y/N. I’m here for whatever we go through.” He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “We go through ‘your shit’ together, Y/N. This is a partnership, a two-way street.” He looked at the weak smile on your face, heart warming slightly at the sight. His face turned serious, casting a glance at your phone on the coffee table.
“How long have you been sitting on this?” He knew how quickly your mind could twist things, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. You bit your lip, not meeting his eyes anymore.
“Just since this morning.” He held you away from his body, watching your expression.
“Is this why you were crying earlier?” You gave him a meek nod in response. “Baby, I thought we talked about this. We have to talk to each other when we think we’re going to go into a funk.” The two of you had talked about it before, but you didn’t think this was going to be a funk.
“I should’ve been able to just shake this off because I know you love me and you won’t leave me because of something that some people on the Internet say.” The words left your mouth before you could process everything, your mind quick to defend itself.
“It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t always have to be able to shake something off. We just have to keep each other in the loop.” Sebastian looked over your tear-stained face, pressing a kiss to your forehead again. “Let’s ditch the phones today. Just spend the day in each other’s arms, how’s that sound?” You smiled softly, nodding at the man in front of you. He got up quickly hiding both of your phones in the kitchen somewhere.
This definitely wasn’t a solution to dealing with your anxiety, Sebastian knew that. It also wasn’t dealing with the toxic people on the Internet, but you didn’t need that right now. You needed to be immersed in an environment that accepted what you were going through without judgement, Sebastian could provide that. Seb hummed happily when you snuggled into his side under the covers on your couch while he searched for a movie. He kissed the top of your head and he felt you smile against his stomach.
“I’m proud of you, draga mea.” You turned to face him, a confused expression lacing your features.
“For what, Seb?” He stroked your face with a single finger, mapping out your features.
“I’m proud of how you handle yourself. I’m amazed at how strong you are, even when you think you’re not.” He leaned closer to you, whispering his next words. “You’re my hero.” One corner of your mouth twitched upwards, not wanting to accept it. You rolled your eyes playfully, settling back onto his stomach before speaking.
“I love you, Sebastian.”
“And I love you, Y/N.”
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bigskydreaming · 3 years
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Brain topic du jour is reflecting on the frankly weird as fuck pattern in Dick’s life where....he barely ever experiences losses one at a time. Most of the loss he’s experienced in his life is compounded by him losing multiple people and other elements of stability all at the exact same time.
1) When his parents died, in some continuities this is coupled with him losing his extended family of his aunt and cousin as well, with his uncle left comatose and on life support for years before he eventually died as well. Even in continuities without Richard, Karla and John, the loss of Dick’s parents is compounded by the additional loss of his circus family in the sense that he was taken away from them by the state and their constant reassuring presences in his life were no longer comforts he was able to rely on.
2) When Jason died, Dick didn’t just lose his brother, as the tragedy was compounded by Bruce’s reaction. I’ll never be able to gloss over the effects of NTT #55, personally, because I think its too key to Dick’s entire characterization and the specific direction his character took in the years that followed this, to like....disregard that Bruce however unintentionally, while lost in his own grief, added to Dick’s own sense of loss for Jason in probably the worst way possible. As by kicking Dick out and telling him to leave his keys, Dick - having no way to know or guess that they’d ever reconcile, just like he never actually went back to the circus being a regular presence for him - to Dick, this was in essence the equivalent of his childhood tragedy all over again. Losing not just one family member, but his whole family in one sweep, and all the comforts and stability offered by a home he was forced to leave. Even Dick’s contact with Alfred was minimal for awhile, because why would the guy who basically JUST saw history repeat itself and was like, well I know how THIS tends to play out.....why would he think that if Alfred felt forced to actually choose between his loyalties to Bruce and Dick respectively, that Alfred would pick Dick over the man he’d known and raised from childhood himself?
3) Titans Hunt. I know I harp on this one a lot, but you can’t deny that it fits the pattern. Dick didn’t just lose one friend and teammate.....he lost Joey, he lost a good four or five lesser known Titans who nevertheless were people he viewed as directly HIS responsibility to keep safe. With these tragedies compounded by the fact that though comics played out a lot more slowburn and extended stories over years back then, like.....the aftermath of Titans Hunt was still everpresent and directly died into Dick’s reactions and emotions during the Mirage storyline and everything that happened with the failed wedding and his breakup with Kory AND the fact that he was literally forced off the team he’d basically founded, by the government agency that took over the team and appointed Roy as its leader in his stead.
3) Graduation Day. The second time the Titans disbanded it was again not due to a singular loss, because Dick didn’t just lose Donna at this point, but also Lilith died in the exact same story and though Lilith is criminally underused, like, she’s also one of Dick’s oldest friends. She was literally the first Titan to join after the original five. This then led into the Outsiders era, where Dick was shown to still be reeling from the losses of this story for an extended period of time, and in a fun parallel to the Titans Hunt aftermath, Dick was also ousted from his leadership of THIS team by essentially a vote of no confidence by his teammates (and uh, Bruce too, literally).
4) The Blockbuster arc. Where Dick’s emotional state was due to a continued string of multiple losses. He lost his apartment building and almost every one of the neighbors he’d built a community out of, as we’d been shown him actively involving himself in their lives and vice versa for YEARS before this point. Then he lost his circus, his childhood home, burned to the ground and with dozens of deaths - both spectators and actual performers Dick had known and loved as a child. Then he lost his relationship with Barbara, his sense of self-security and autonomy to Tarantula, he lost another teen vigilante who died in his colors, the mantle HE’D created, when Stephanie was believed dead in War Games, and it all culminated in losing the city he’d invested himself in as his CHOSEN home, the place he dedicated himself to protecting, when Chemo blew it up.
Oh just for the record - my nonexistent passport to the magical kingdom of Narnia for a fic that raises the point when bringing up Tim’s losses in the Red Robin era, that like.....ALL of the above happened at literally the EXACT SAME TIME as all Tim’s referenced losses occurred. Obviously Steph meant more to Tim than Dick on a personal level, but I also included her largely as an anchor point to the timeline, to show how that death, and not long after that Jack Drake’s and then Superboy’s.... occurred right smack in the middle of one of the absolute WORST periods of Dick’s life. To be clear, I don’t intend this to suggest that no actually, Dick had it harder than Tim - nah. 
No thank you. Hard pass. I hate that sort of thing even in support of my own faves over other characters. No, instead the thing I’d love to see explored more is just in light of the SPECIFIC angle fics take here - that Dick’s actions while Bruce was lost in time showed an obliviousness to everything Tim had lost lately - for literally ANYONE to bring up or introduce into the timeline here an awareness of everything Dick had lost AT THE EXACT SAME TIME PERIOD. To establish that actually, Dick didn’t just ‘not understand what it was like’ - rather, its more accurate to say that nobody in universe around this time ever shows an awareness of Dick’s own losses and says oh wait, that doesn’t track then. 
Because obviously, with this stuff put in proper perspective, Dick understands VERY VERY WELL the exact thing we’re accusing him of not understanding by being oblivious to Tim’s losses that he’s not actually oblivious to because he tries to talk to Tim about them all the time, while meanwhile its everyone else who has absolutely mum to say about the fact that Dick’s emotional state is compromised to hell and back at this point, not JUST because of losing Bruce, but also because *gestures wildly* literally ALL OF THE ABOVE in the exact same time frame Tim’s extended losses happened in.
And okay I am going to indulge in slight tiny itty bitty pettiness and point out my ire that so many fics set during this time tend to recite listicles of Tim’s losses, with Steph, Kon and Jack Drake at the very top of said list....while paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that STEPH WAS LITERALLY BACK BY THE TIME THE RED ROBIN SERIES HAPPENED. She’s LITERALLY a person Dick sends to check up on Tim after Tim turns Dick away when he tries himself. How are you gonna stress the impact Steph’s loss has on Tim when you’re not even acknowledging STEPH’S RIGHT HERE IN THE EXACT SPECIFIC CANON STORY YOU’RE CITING??? I just. afhioskhflafhlafhklfahlfa. 
And not to put too fine a point on it, but you know who ELSE was also back at the same time? CONNOR. Superboy LITERALLY was already back to life by the time the Red Robin series even began. Like, the issue where a resurrected Kon and Cassie (Wonder Girl) have a heart to heart about the fact that Tim and Cassie ‘connected’ during his absence and Connor stresses that this doesn’t bother him or make him feel negatively towards either of them at all, because hello, he was literally dead at the time, why would he mind that two of the people he loves most in the world sought comfort in each other? Yeah, that issue? Literally came out BEFORE Tim even became Red Robin.
I MEAN. I’m just saying, when people constantly take shots at Dick’s choices during this period because of how much Tim had lost before Bruce already, in order to shift focus away from the fact that Dick lost Bruce every bit as much as Tim did......and you repeatedly emphasize the SAME three names as the focal point of Tim’s losses while paying no acknowledgment whatsoever to everything Dick lost at the exact same time Tim lost these three.....it quickly becomes kiiiiiiinda relevant in my opinion THAT TWO OF THE THREE NAMES CONSTANTLY MENTIONED AS BEING TIM’S LOSSES ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOST BY THE TIME THE SUBJECT COMES UP. Again, I’m just saying! Pettily, mind you! I am aware of the pettiness, I just beg awareness of like *again gesticulates wildly at all of the above* ALL THAT!
LOL.
But I digress.
5) When Bruce was believed dead while he was lost in the timestream. Again, Dick didn’t just lose the father who had been the only parent in his life for almost TWICE as long as his first parents......this was coupled with the loss of numerous other sources of stability in Dick’s life. There’s the matter of his personal sense of identity and self-expression....Dick FOUGHT against becoming Batman, trying to handle Gotham in Bruce’s absence as Nightwing for as long as he could, because he knew being Batman was very much NOT going to be good for him. He put so much of himself into building his identity as Nightwing, establishing himself in that role, that self-image, that yes, I maintain it was an actual LOSS for Dick, to feel like he had no choice but to give that up and everything it meant to him and his own life, in order to essentially live Bruce’s life for him in his absence. 
Because it wasn’t just being Batman that Dick was struggling with at this time....he also had to act as the patriarch to the Wayne family, essentially raise Bruce’s ten year old son, step into Bruce’s old role in Wayne Enterprises, all while getting no acknowledgment for any of this, for literally LIVING his father’s life instead of the life Dick had worked so hard to build for HIMSELF....because of course Dick’s actions and struggles couldn’t even be advertised beyond the family and close friends, because the whole point of him doing all this was so that nobody else even realized that Bruce wasn’t really there anymore. Dick didn’t just assume Bruce’s responsibilities. Dick assumed Bruce’s life, so thoroughly that most people didn’t even put together that Bruce was ‘dead,’ between Dick handling Bruce’s actual roles and responsibilities while Hush made public appearances as him. 
Like, when you’re living someone else’s life so completely that nobody can tell they’re even gone....how on earth does that leave any time or space for you to have ANY kind of life of your OWN, y’know? Not to mention the fact that like in so many times previously....all this meant that Dick couldn’t even afford to let his grief for his own losses show, because he wasn’t supposed to be grieving any losses in the first place, that was the whole point of the con!
Additionally, couple this with the fact that throughout this time period, Dick didn’t have Tim to lean on at all, because it was never that Dick kicked Tim out or neglected him or didn’t care....he’d actively stressed how much he needed Tim, because the partner Tim was convinced Dick chose ‘over’ him - Dick was the first one to admit back then that he DIDN’T trust Damian yet, couldn’t afford to, because he was all too aware that Damian didn’t give a fuck about him yet and couldn’t be guaranteed to step in to have Dick’s back - because that required mutual trust that Dick literally just hadn’t had time to build yet. And add to THAT the fact that during this time, Jason was actively antagonizing the family and Dick in particular at every turn, trying to bring them all down and basically write over what all of them saw as Bruce’s legacy with Jason’s own version of what he thought that should look like.
Also also, take into account that unlike how often we see fanon depict Dick as just too stubborn or proud to ask for help, there’s the fact that he actually had very few avenues TO ask for help! As already established, he DID ask Tim for help. Not like Jason was an option at this time, and Dick’s friends weren’t actually just sitting waiting in the wings and groaning about the fact that Dick was trying to do all of this solo....nah, they kinda had their own problems, which Dick was all too aware of?
Like the fact that in the wake of Final Crisis, it wasn’t just Bruce that was believed lost. Many other key Leaguers like Martian Manhunter were dead or lost, with others struggling to fill the gaps left in their absence. Cry For Justice happened right after Final Crisis too....that story where Lian was murdered? So it wasn’t like Dick was remotely going to try leaning on Roy when Roy had just lost his freaking DAUGHTER and very much wasn’t handling it well (and not to overshadow Roy’s loss at ALL, but please let’s not act like Dick - who had literally been the person to put a baby Lian in Roy’s arms for the first time and had known that girl for pretty much her entire life - like, it shouldn’t be used to detract from Roy’s loss at all, but it shouldn’t have to, to just acknowledge that Lian’s loss right at this exact time was painful as fuck to Dick, who’d loved his niece like crazy.)
The pattern of compounding, concurrent losses in Dick’s life. I’m just saying. Its there.
And it extends into the New 52 as well, where Forever Evil came right on the heels of Dick losing his circus in THIS continuity to the Joker, just as a way to hurt him in Death of A Family. And with the aftermath of Forever Evil and Dick’s own literal death, being like....the complete loss of Dick’s entire life, even though he was revived quickly. That didn’t mean he got to live HIS life though, since Dick Grayson was believed dead and he was told had to remain so, so its like fuck whatever he actually wanted to do as he went about on the Spyral mission aka something that pinched his own sense of morality and personal agenda at every turn and was kinda the last thing a therapist would recommend for a trauma recovery period, lol. And like, for all the focus that was paid to how Dick’s family were hurt because they believed they’d lost him when he was actually alive, let’s not forget that for all intents and purposes, Dick DID lose his family in the wake of his resurrection because he was flat out told over and over that due to what ‘he’d LET happen to him’ he was an ACTIVE danger to them, and thus wasn’t allowed by Bruce to contact any of them or lean on them to any degree, until Bruce got amnesia and stopped blocking Dick’s pleas to return home by just not being there to pick up the secret phone line at all. 
(And omg, the obliviousness that just EMANATES off the hot takes that Dick had a ‘choice’ in all this and he still CHOSE to do what Bruce told him....like. LOLOL, stop being pissy about me bringing up the term abuse apologism when its literal victim blaming to paint the guy who had to be beaten into ‘agreeing’ to the Spyral mission in the immediate wake of the trauma of DYING, all while his father vocally blamed him for his own suffering and the ‘threat’ he now posed to his family, keying directly into the guilt complex Bruce knows damn well is at the core of most of Dick’s motivations.....fucking please. There’s no choice in all that. That’s active emotional, mental and physical abuse aimed at directly manipulating Dick’s actions, delivered by the guy who knows Dick best in the world and whose approval - particularly when Dick is at absolute rock bottom aka Current Location - matters more to Dick than just about anything because his sense of self-worth has more in common with dog shit than actual dog shit does. Or something. Idk. That analogy got away from me. But like. You get it.)
BUT. I. DIE. GRESS. (I guess).
Aaaaaaanyway, so yeah! That repeating pattern throughout Dick’s life of ‘loss? What loss (singular)? My losses only come in groups, lolol, fuuuuuun’ - mmmm. Yeah. So that’s what’s on MY brain right now. Thoughts?
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mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually
#my stance up to now has been that i don't really care about tim/ber but now that i have read this. dude...#it sucks that they gave a canon queer tim narrative to someone who uses homophobia as shock value and virtue signaling points#and who actively tears down characters who don't like her special little uwu flawless oc (kate im so fucking sorry)#there's no substance to this relationship i don't see why they even like each other#bc she keeps just stating oh they're perfect they make each other so happy but she doesn't like. show that at all#and i HATE the shock value homophobia like i cannot overstate how much i hate it#oh these random cops are homophobic (that's how you know they're BAD!)#oh bernard's parents are homophobic (that's how you know THEY'RE bad too!)#it's so hamfisted and it reads like such. cheap storytelling#especially bc tim as narrator doesn't even get to have ANY thoughts on his own queerness or seeing this homophobia in the world around him#and then she can't go more than two pages without being like BTW BERNARD IS THE BEST EVER AND TIM CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM#while against this ugly backdrop of shock value homophobia#there's no substance to this relationship. why do they even like each other. it just falls apart if you examine it at all#because she just is fundamentally incapable of writing either of them as people with character flaws#for fucks sake she can't even be consistent with tim's BASIC character tenets. ''i always dreamed of being batman'' false lmao#but then to follow it up with ''i never wanted to be batman i always wanted to be my dad''#and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN.#yeah sorry im a hater now. this was shit tier#rimi talks
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bbrandy2002 · 3 years
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Fearless
Chapter 4: See the Lights, See the Party, the Ball Gowns
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Book: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir
Pairing: Prince/King Liam x MC (Riley Brooks), Drake Walker x OC (Alyssa Devereaux)
Series Premise: Riley Brooks and Alyssa Devereaux became best friends as freshmen at Syracuse University, a borderline-sisterhood that lasts forever after. When Riley meets a handsome prince and is asked to compete for his hand in a mysterious faraway kingdom, she invites Alyssa along for moral support.
What the girls think will be a crazy temporary adventure becomes two sets of happily ever afters … with twice the shenanigans to show for it.
A/N: This series is written in loving collaboration between @bbrandy2002 and @burnsoslow​.
Series Warnings: Smut 🍋🍋, language, canon violence (gun violence, bombing, terrorism), drug use, probably more stuff as we think of it. By reading this series, you agree that you are at least 18 years old and are prepared to deal with adult themes.
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The girls spent their first morning in Cordonia with their respective sponsors, getting the first glimpses of courtly life and preparing for the Masquerade Ball taking place that evening. As much as they wanted to get out and experience all that this little Mediterranean country had to offer, there was just so much to do and little time to do it. 
That morning, while Alyssa worked diligently on learning the steps of the Cordonian Waltz and etiquette with Rashad, Maxwell finally got Riley out of bed in time for a late breakfast. This included meeting his brother, Bertrand, who was none too thrilled with the former waitress from New York. Riley discovered rather quickly that the duke was nothing like the free-spirited Maxwell; if ever there was a picture display of a killjoy, she was sure his scowling face would be plastered dead in the center.  
The day kind of went by in a dizzying blur, especially for Riley, who spent most of it either being lectured by Bertrand, or raiding the kitchen for stress snacks with Maxwell. And as far as anyone knew, Liam was still unaware that the quirky, raven-haired beauty he’d met two nights ago and never expected to see again was in his country, in his palace, and was about to come face-to-face with him.
If she didn’t die of anxiety first. 
Neither of the girls saw each other until much later that afternoon when they linked up in Riley’s room before heading to the palace's salon for last-minute hair and nail appointments. 
Later on in the boutique, Riley sucked in a deep breath and held in her stomach while Alyssa stood behind her, fighting to zip the back of the angel-themed costume she chose for the Masquerade Ball. 
Actually, "chose" was a loose description in this case. The ensemble was one of the last two dresses in the palace's boutique, and Maxwell insisted Riley wear it instead of the more provocative red devil attire to make herself more appealing to the King and Queen. The Beaumont sponsee didn’t give two shits at that moment about impressing the monarchs; her major concern was how she would fit that size-four dress over her size-six body. 
“What the hell did you eat, Ri? This zipper is not budging an inch," an out-of-breath Alyssa groaned as she attempted to pull the tight fabric closer together.  
Steadying her feet firmly to the ground, a jostled-around Riley answered quietly, in a still manner, so as not to undo what little progress her friend had already made, "You know I'm a stress eater. I've experienced many emotions since we left yesterday, and food therapy helps. And your judgment is making me hungry again, so thank you for making it worse."
"I'm not judging you; I'm simply stating a fact: Your ass won’t fit in this dress."
Riley straightened up a little higher, hoping to thin her lean frame out more. "Well, it's gonna have to," she scoffed. "I can't be the only suitor at this ball without the proper attire."
Alyssa tugged harder in frustration. "You know, it might help if I could remove the price tag from the zipper."
"Perhaps." Riley sideways glanced at the two inattentive boutique cashiers before turning her head slightly over her shoulder to acknowledge her best friend in a hushed tone. "But then I wouldn't be able to return it in the morning. $700 for a damn dress is highway robbery, and I won't be a victim to this place's jacked-up prices." She glared back at the fashionably dressed women running the register and hollered out, "You should all be ashamed of yourselves!"
"Shhhh!" Alyssa's face burned with embarrassment while she smiled sheepishly at the bewildered ladies. "Are you crazy? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"You mean aside from the usual things that are wrong with me? I'm a nervous wreck, Lyss. Liam still doesn't know that I'm here. I'm about to go wine-and-dine with snobby rich people, while my socially awkward-o-meter is on red alert. And Maxwell's brother didn't like me. How am I supposed to impress Liam, the press, this council, and his parents when my own sponsor hates me?"
"He doesn't hate you," Alyssa replied. "Suck in your stomach a little more ... Rashad told me Duke Beaumont is high-strung and takes all this court business very seriously. If you ask me, give ‘The Brows’ some time. I know he'll love you. And Liam already does!" Alyssa stepped back in delight after tirelessly sliding the last bit of the zipper to the neckline. "Voila! I got it."
Riley stiffly turned toward the full-length mirror -- her insides feeling like they would pop right out of her -- and surveyed the finished product. "Not bad, not bad. A slight muffin top on the sides, and my ass cheeks are packed in tighter than my family around the dessert station at a buffet, but ... I think I can get by with it." Turning to face Alyssa, she lit up with anticipation. "Okay, now it's your turn."
Alyssa plucked the bright red dress off the rack and headed inside one of the many dressing rooms. A moment later, she emerged with a beaming smile on her face and held her arms out to the side to do a show-offish twirl. "So, how do I look?"
"Oh my god, Lyss!" Riley clapped excitedly. "You look so hot in that! That color of red really suits you too. Although, you might want to cover up the girls a little more; I've never seen your boobs look so huge."
"Wha --" Alyssa glanced down at her fully rounded chest, a substantial portion of which was spilling out over the top. She crossed her arms over her breasts in horror. "OH MY GOD! You're right: They're enormous in this thing. I can't go out there like this! They'll be stuffing dollar bills into my cleavage and begging for a lap dance!"
"Well, just ... try to tuck them in," Riley suggested, demonstrating her advice on herself. “You know, the way guys tuck in their junk.”
Alyssa shook her head adamantly, attempting to slide the top of the dress up higher. "I don't think that'll work. It's already extremely tight."
“That’s what he said,” Riley quipped with a snicker, much to the chagrin of her longtime friend, who simply blinked back. “Wow, not even a smile. Come on, Lyss, it’s not that hard.”
Alyssa grinned despite herself, “That’s what she said.”
Riley stepped closer, reaching out to grab a portion of the garment covering Alyssa's bosom, and declared, "Alright, If I can squeeze my fat ass into this dress, you can cram those giant melons into yours. So, get to pushin’, girl.”
-----------
After 10 minutes of stuffing uncooperative breasts into a gown, Alyssa and Riley stepped out of the boutique and made their way to the bottom of the main staircase outside of the ballroom, where Rashad and Maxwell were waiting eagerly for them. 
A grim-faced Rashad approached the pair as they neared. “We were beginning to worry about you two. I hope you didn’t have any trouble.” He reached out and greeted Alyssa with a friendly kiss to the cheek as Riley made her way up to Maxwell, who did the same.
“No troubles,” Alyssa assured him, before staring down at her chest to make sure certain parts were still contained inside her dress. “Just some slight wardrobe issues that I think we’ve taken care of.”
Riley frowned, rubbing a soothing hand over her squeezed-in stomach. “Let’s just say we both feel like canned biscuits.”
“And I’m petrified of canned biscuits!” Alyssa shrieked, then spoke in a lower, punier voice in Rashad’s direction. “They make that popping sound that scares the hell out of me.” He nodded sympathetically at her admission, having no clue what canned biscuits were.
Maxwell let out a chuckle. “Either way, you both look awesome! Like two totally righteous peas in a pod and all that jazz.” He peeked over at Riley, who wasn’t appearing too sure of herself, or of anything for that matter, knowing she’d spent most of the day in a subtle panic. While she steadied her breath, he looped his arm through hers and leaned over. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to go in there like the boss you are and knock them all dead. I just know it.”
Riley swallowed thickly, “But Liam --”
“Will be over the moon with excitement to see you again. Do you think I’d go through all the trouble of trying to convince you, and then Alyssa, to come all the way here -- not to mention, facing my brother’s wrath -- if I didn’t believe Liam would want to see you again?” Riley half-shrugged, but Maxwell could tell by the little glimmer of hope he caught in her eyes and the slight curl at the corner of her plush pink lips that she knew it was true. “If he’s not happy about seeing you, I’ll book you on the first flight back to New York, and you can punch me in the gut or something. But I can tell you with certainty: No man goes out with a woman and keeps his friends up most of the night talking about how amazing she was if he doesn’t want to see her again.”
Riley could feel a tinge of pink color her cheeks and looked away for a brief moment, knowing he was right. She was about to see her prince again. Simply knowing how happy Liam was when they parted ways that night made her heart flutter. The blushing suitor peered back at the towering man on her arm and smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, Max.” 
As they both stared straight ahead at the set of double doors where Alyssa was making her grand entrance into the ballroom with Rashad, Riley pointed out, “You realize if you had said all that stuff to me this morning and five bloated pounds ago, I wouldn’t have cried to you all day over pints of ice cream, half a sheet cake, and a bag of Mini Snickers?”
Lord Beaumont grinned without looking at her as the orchestral music inside erupted through the newly opened threshold that awaited their crossing. A gleam of anticipation glistened the cobalt hue of his eyes.”That’s our cue. Time to look alive, Twinkle Toes, it’s showtime.”
__________
It felt like a million pairs of eyes bore through Riley when the announcer spoke her name out to the guest in the ballroom. In reality, few paid much attention to the young woman dressed in pure white, from the feathery halo perched above her fancy swept-up hairdo to the tiny heels that sparkled like glittery specks of fairy dust on her feet.  
As Maxwell ushered her proudly through the spectacular crowd adorned in the finest silks and chiffons, faces concealed behind extravagant masks similar to hers, and opulent table spreads of gold and crimson, Riley searched the four corners of the room for one particular set of the bluest eyes she’d ever encountered -- she had Liam’s memorized by heart. However, the only ones she recognized came from her smiling best friend, standing casually beside the Lord of Domvallier at the bar, keeping her word to watch out for her. With a subtle grin from Alyssa to convey she had her back, the whirlwind of fear and chaotic thoughts that overwhelmed Riley quickly dissipated into thin air. 
Baby steps.
While Maxwell and Riley headed to the center of the ballroom to meet up with Bertrand, across the way, Alyssa ordered a cranberry vodka from the bar. She was wearing red and needed a drink that matched perfectly with the fabric in case of accidental spillage. As the bartender poured her glass, she tore her vigilant gaze from Riley when Rashad’s cell rang. Seconds later, he covered his phone lightly with a palm and lowered it away from his ear to speak with her. 
“This is my client in California. Will you be okay for a little bit while I take this out on the balcony?”
Alyssa nodded. “Of course. Take your time. Is there anything I should be doing while you’re gone?”
“Try mingling with the crowd. Get to know the other suitors. The best way to help Riley tonight is to get a feel for the competition. Figure out who you can potentially get on her side and who is going to cause her trouble.”
“With all due respect, this isn’t Survivor.”
Rashad grinned before excusing himself. “We'll see if you still feel that way by the end of the social season.”
What is it with all the Debbie Downers here? He sounds just like -- Before she could finish that thought, a stroke of irony occurred when she caught the denim-clad Drake, standing out like a sore thumb, making his way up to the bar. She quickly spun around on the barstool and hovered over her freshly poured beverage. 
Tapping the bar's woodgrain top, Drake called for, “The usual,” before plopping down on the stool next to her. His woodsy scent filled the air and wafted in her direction; she wondered if he’d even recognize her.
Pressing the rim of the glass to her lips to take the first nervous sip of her drink, she wondered why she even cared if he did.
Alyssa set the vodka cranberry down on a cocktail napkin at the same time Drake reached for his tumbler of whiskey. A brush of their hands caused them both to retreat away before he bowed his head respectfully to her. 
“I’m sorry, my lady.” Drake was quick to apologize. He never knew which stuck up nobles would have an issue with a commoner’s simple touch.
Alyssa lifted a brow and smirked in response. “So you do have manners?”
He’d recognize that wily voice anywhere. Grumbling, Drake responded. “Aww, hell! Pipsqueak? Is that you?”
“Hello, Sunshine.” She dimpled.
Drake shook his head. “I should have known. Of all the damn people in this room, I still managed to find you.”
“I would call that a very lucky day for you then.” Alyssa lifted her drink and tipped back a gulp. “So what’re you doing here? Don’t you have some royal cows or chickens to herd around or something? Who wears denim and jeans to a fancy ball?” 
She would if she could get away with it.
His tight shoulder muscles bounced slightly with disingenuous laughter as his chestnut eyes took in her sultry devilish costume. “I could ask you the same about your own clothes. Suitors are supposed to dress up for these things. Not come as themselves.”
Offended, Alyssa arched back contemptuously. “Are you calling me a devil?”
“If the horns and pitchfork fit.” Drake retorted. He motioned with his glass across the room. “By the way, you see that blazing redhead who just stole your little friend away from Maxwell?” When Alyssa snapped her gaze protectively in that direction, he continued, “That’s Olivia. You might want to check in on … what’s her name again?”
“Riley ...” Her tone was resentful. He knows damn well what her name is. 
“Whatever. Just trust me on this, if the two of you know what’s good for ya -- and I’m betting you don’t -- you’ll stay as far away from Olivia and the rest of these social-climbing fuckers as possible.” His mood suddenly shifted as he drained his drink, then slammed it on the bar top, motioning with his hand to the bartender for another.
Alyssa was quick to notice the tension in his jaw and the immense throb of protruding veins in his forearm as he nursed his drink. “What climbed up your ass and died? Why are you even here if you hate everyone so much? 
He quickly snapped. “I’m here for Liam!”
“Well, I’m here for Riley!” The two of them glared at each other in a tense showdown that neither was willing to back down from. After a beat, Alyssa’s determination weakened somewhat; confrontations made her jittery. 
And with him in particular.
Letting her shoulders slump, Alyssa let out a soft breath as she relaxed. “I’m trying to give her some space … but do I need to go check on Riley?” The question was asked sincerely. 
Drake turned his head back, his vision crossing the vast expanse of the room and landing on a perturbed Riley in conversation with Olivia. He scowled, recognizing the expression impressed on her face all too well. “We’re outsiders, Alyssa. You. Me. Riley. That’s the only thing they’ll ever see. It’s the only way they’ll ever treat us.” He shifted to face Alyssa again. “Take that for what you will. If she were my friend … I would.”
_______
Riley shook her head emphatically. “There’s no way I’m supposed to kiss the king’s shoe. That’s weird, creepy, and-and- unsanitary!” She nodded toward a masked couple standing before the seated king who bowed, curtsied, and then exited to the left. “They didn’t kiss his shoe. I think you’re full of shit.” 
“Riley, Riley, Riley.” The duchess shook her head with an exasperated tone. “Those people are well-established and highly-regarded members of the court … you’re not. And while I admit it’s a rather unorthodox Cordonian royal custom, it’s part of our tradition that the newest members humble themselves before the king in an act of deep respect and reverence. I’m actually astounded Maxwell never bothered to tell you.” She flipped back a thick curly-q strand of hair that hung over her shoulders. “Do what you want. But don’t say I didn’t try to help you.”
Riley hesitated. “I guess I’ll keep it in mind …?”
“Great!” Olivia wrapped a firm hand around Riley’s wrist and pulled her toward the throne where the king sat. “You’re so lucky that I was here to warn you! Otherwise, you’d have looked utterly ridiculous.”
“Wait! Where are we going? Riley demanded, her feet barely able to keep up with the brisk pace. 
“To present you to King Constantine.”
“But I need to wait for my sponsor!” Riley protested. She struggled to break free, but the redhead’s clawlike grip was surprisingly strong. 
“Every second counts, Riley. These women have all known Liam for years. The early bird gets the Crown.”
“But I --” Panicked, Riley scoured the room for the Beaumonts and found them standing near the hors d'oeuvres table embroiled in what appeared to be a heated discussion.
“What the fuck?” On the opposite side of the ballroom, Alyssa spotted Olivia hauling Riley across the floor. Before Drake had the chance to warn her this wasn’t good, an enraged Alyssa was already sliding down off the barstool, stampeding off in hot pursuit of finding out what this redheaded troll was doing with her best friend. 
And for reasons he couldn’t fully understand, feeling frustrated beyond comprehension, Drake followed right on her heels.
Coming to a screeching halt before the raised dais, Olivia thrust Riley forward, who nearly tripped from the momentum into the bottom step at the sudden stop.
It took every ounce of restraint Riley had not to turn toward the woman who had forcibly dragged her across the room and to stick a pair of size-seven heels straight up her ass. She, however, liked the pretty, sparkly shoes she had on too much to ruin them … and wanted to end the evening outside of a hospital bed. “Asshole,” she muttered almost soundlessly.
“Your Majesty,” Olivia smirked. “I would like to present to you the suitor House Beaumont has chosen. Lady Riley.”
Riley gave her a cursory glare. It was the moment of truth. She plastered on her best smile for the King, who regarded her with a nod. 
Just … just do it. “Your Majesty.” Riley dipped into a low curtsy and held it in place for several seconds before contemplating the validity of Olivia’s outlandish claim and swallowing hard. “Here goes nothing.”
Placing both palms on the plush red carpeting that laid at the feet of the King, she lowered herself slowly until her knees rested on the top step.
“What the hell is she doing?” Alyssa questioned as she desperately weaved around a sea of faces, dodging server trays and tables along the way. “And where the hell is Maxwell?”
“I don’t know ...” Drake answered, practically pushing her even more quickly through the crowd, “ … but you better move faster. There’s no damn telling what Olivia told her to do.”
Riley paused briefly, staring at the simple black shoes that almost resembled a shiny boot. She wanted to be kissing Liam right now, not his father’s old fricking foot. Worst vacation ever.
Lowering her head gradually toward Constantine’s shoes, she scrunched up her face and reluctantly puckered up. 
Out of nowhere, a body with the vigor of a wild stallion in full sprint barrelled into her side, sending Riley hurling across the dais and causing her to land face-down on the marbled floor below.
"What is the meaning of this?" An enraged Constantine bolted up, his ire focused on Alyssa, hunkered down on all fours at his feet, striving to catch her breath.
Maxwell and Bertrand heard the commotion and came rushing to Riley’s side when they realized it was her sprawled out and jerking on the floor.  
"I'm so sorry, Your Majesty," an apologetic Alyssa said as she reached up for the hand Drake was offering. The King's glare at her was nerve-wracking as he waited for an explanation -- until Drake stepped up in front of her, blocking her view of the incensed monarch. "I can explain."
"I hope you can, young lady." Constantine glowered, baffled as to why Drake Walker was still standing between them … and mirroring every movement she made. When she shifted, he shifted. When she moved her arm, he did the same. Was this some type of game?
“Uh … um.” Alyssa's mind raced with excuses. She couldn't very well tell him the truth and make Riley or herself look bad -- she was still a representative of Duchy Domvallier. There was only one thing she could think of to say as she whipped around Drake and pointed at him. "This man pushed me!"
Drake's body stiffened at her accusation. "The hell you talking about?" 
She covered her eyes with a hand, pretending to sob. "I was on my way up here to pay my respects to you, sir, when this man ..." she paused to take in a fake stuttering breath, "... came out of nowhere and pushed me from behind. I tried to stop myself from running into anyone, but I couldn't. Too much momentum." Alyssa lowered her hand and stared at a wide-eyed Drake. "I’m just a small person, mister. Why would you do that? Why? What did I ever do to hurt you?"
"I never --"
"Drake?" The King eyed him sternly. "Is this true? Did you push this young woman?"
Drake’s defensive stance was no match for Alyssa’s pleading eyes, begging him to save her from this. “Please,” she mouthed.
He groaned, rolling his eyes. “I … I’m sorry, Sir. Lady Alyssa’s extremely long dress was dragging the floor and I stepped on it. When I lifted my foot off, she ... I don’t know … flung forward. I tried to grab her before she went flying, but she got away, and that must be why she thought I pushed her.” Drake lowered his gaze to Alyssa. “You really shouldn’t shop in the adult section, miss.”
“Is it possible you were mistaken, Lady ... Alyssa?”
She nodded. “Yes, that is surely possible,” she agreed in a rehearsed-sounding tone. “It’s all coming back to me now.”
“Well, then.” Constantine's contented glance drifted to Drake. “It’s good to know you didn’t push an innocent suitor on purpose, Drake. But just know this … I’ll be watching you.” 
“Looking forward to it, sir. Thank you, sir.” Drake quickly bowed his head as Constantine returned to his seat to greet the next guest. He grabbed Alyssa’s elbow and rushed her off to the side of the dais.
-----------
Maxwell knelt beside a disheveled Riley, helping her rise to her feet and dusting her off. 
“Lady Riley,” a scowling Bertrand glared, “what on earth is the meaning of this? The glory of House Beaumont is on the line tonight, and you’ve already made your first blunder. I told you, Maxwell, this was a mistake.”
Slightly dazed, Riley stumbled while massaging a sore wrist. Inclining her head so she could see him under the halo that drooped over her eyes, she retorted, “I was shoved, Berturd. It’s not like I did this on purpose. And thank you for your concern; I’m fine, by the way.”
“Shoved? By whom?” The three of them turned to see Alyssa and Drake scampering off to a corner. “It was Domvallier’s suitor?” Bertrand asked incredulously. “This is preposterous! It’s beneath Lord Rashad’s character to have his suitor and Drake Walker sabotage ours. I will have to go over there and put an end to this travesty at once.” 
“NO!” Riley and Maxwell barked.
"Bertrand. Why don't you let Riley and I handle them while you play damage control with the King? Unless ..." he smirked. " You want me to smooth things over with His Majesty? I have a lot to say about how Twinkle Toes just SAILED through the air at warp speed --"
"Dear God, no, Maxwell! There will be no need for your … input. But, you two, get results from Drake and that suitor. No funny business," he warned.
The two of them nodded in understanding. As soon as Bertrand turned his back and marched away, they both gave a knowing glance to the other before rushing over to Drake and Alyssa, who had just made it to a far corner of the ballroom, 
Alyssa yanked her elbow away from his vice-like grasp. “I believe we’re out of the clear; you can let go of me now.”
“Listen. I have to tell you something, ‘cause you need to know it ... “ Drake swallowed thickly, his rounded eyes focused squarely on the woman who’d just thrown him under the bus to King Constantine. He spoke as if he had something caught in his throat, “You--your-- uh -- ”
“And who made these damn shoes, anyway?” Alyssa complained as she hiked up the lower part of her dress and stepped out of her heels. Her already short stature lowered several inches. “They clearly hate short women and feet. Seriously, who thought walking around like a newborn calf was sexy?”
“Alyssa,” Drake tried again to speak through a strained voice, “You need to listen --”
“Hey!” Riley interrupted as she and Maxwell stepped up to them. “Why’d you push me off that stage thingy? And OH MY GOD, ALYSSA! YOUR --” Maxwell slapped a hand over Riley’s mouth, knowing exactly what her big mouth was getting ready to loudly announce.
Her frantic muffled words continued to blabber through his tightly clasped hand.
Alyssa gave him a confused look. “Maxwell, what are you doing?”
“Just stopping her before she told everyone within earshot ...” he paused fleetingly, lowering his gaze from the muddled expression on her face to her chest. “Your bosoms … well, they have emerged.”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you before,” a flustered Drake said as Alyssa let out a gasp and looked down. “You’ve been ... exposed … since --” He was quickly cut off again by her tiny wail as she fixed herself and dashed out of the ballroom, mortified, her arms crossed over her chest.
--------------------
Riley tapped lightly on the women’s restroom door. “Lyss? You okay in there?”
“No!” Her pouty voice rang back. “I’m the laughingstock of this entire court.”
Maxwell chuckled, hollering back. “You don’t have to worry about that, Lady Alyssa. I’ve already got that title covered in spades.”
“You two need to get back to the ball,” Drake said gruffly, referring to the girls. “Liam will be arriving any minute.”
“You’re right. There are probably five people in there who still haven’t gotten an up close shot of my breasts.” Alyssa swung the door open, bitterly hitching up the front of her dress as she stepped out, and glared up at Drake as she walked by. “And you let me walk around like that!”
“I did not!” He flushed a deep, dark red. “I told you, that’s why I was standing in front of you, so no one would see … ugh, fuck it. Just -- let’s go, okay?” 
A remorseful Riley hugged Alyssa. “I’m so sorry my dumb ass was what caused this to happen to you. Thank you for making sure I didn’t make a fool of myself.”
Alyssa squeezed tighter. “It was way better that it happened to me than you. We can definitely have a good laugh over this by the time I’m, like, 150.” When they let go of one another, she smiled at her friend. “Come on, we have a ball to get back to. And you have a prince to dazzle.”
“Oh, you guys go on ahead. I need a minute to straighten up.”
Drake, Alyssa, and Maxwell headed back inside while Riley spent a few minutes in the bathroom wiping away the dust off her dress and getting her hair back in order as best as she could. Plus, she just needed a moment to herself; it was the first time since she woke up that morning that someone wasn’t hovering over her shoulder or trying to impress someone. There also were some major jitters happening knowing the Prince was arriving at any second.
Stepping out a few minutes later, Riley headed back down the hallway, hopeful she still appeared as presentable as when she arrived earlier. 
Dotted along the walls that trailed back to the ballroom were portraits and artwork of kings and queens. Judging by the large periwigs, justaucorps, and stockings over breeches depicted, obviously they were quite old. One particular painting caught her attention enough to halt her steps before she plastered on a naughty grin.
“Ohhhh, what do we have here?” Riley snickered, leaning in closer to get a better glimpse. “I see London, I see France, I see a very hung King without his pants.” She fanned a hand in front of her face and spoke as if she were Scarlett O’Hara herself. “My, my, my, Fabian, I haven’t seen a lot of those, but I do declare, you put all the Yanks I’ve been with to shame. I’d be remiss to not ask if you were generous enough to pass on certain sizable traits, say to … Oh, I don’t know, the current Crown Prince?”
“Frankly, my dear … I don’t think he gave a damn,” a deep voice quipped over her shoulder.
Riley spun around, her body crashing into the portrait and causing it to rattle against the wall and lean heavily. Her face burned red-hot as soon as she heard his voice, even though every ounce of blood in her body seemed to rush to her wobbly feet. Liam reached out, grasping hold of her arms to brace her as she stared back, slack-jawed and weak-kneed, at his half-masked face, smiling warmly. “L-L-Li --”
“My sincerest apologies if I startled you, my lady. Are you okay?”
Her throat was dry, and surely no one in all history had ever been as embarrassed as she was at that moment, but she managed to answer feebly, “I think … I pissed my pants.” They both looked down at the floor simultaneously, relief washing over them that there were no puddles. Riley closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath. “Oh, thank God.”
Liam chuckled, his twinkling blue eyes glued to her flustered face. “You’re just as beautiful as you were that night in New York, Riley Brooks.”
“Wait … you know that it’s me? Are you surprised? Are you upset? Do you think I’m some creepy stalker now? I swear I’ve never even touched a weapon.”
“Really? What happened to your bag of Chinese throwing stars?” Liam teased lightheartedly. Riley tilted her head in confusion. “You remember, the ones you were going to throw at me in the alley outside of your bar --”
“Oh. Yes. Right,” she laughed awkwardly as the memory came to her. “Yeah, I may have embellished the truth there a bit. Twenty-pound hams seem to be more my weapon of choice.” Riley hung her head. Why the hell did I just tell him that? When Bastien cleared his throat and gave Liam a pointed look, Riley knew their time was short. “I know you have to go, but I just need to know something: How did you know I was here? Maxwell tried to get in touch with you and never heard back. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me showing up here.”
“I’ve been quite busy since leaving New York with preparations for the social season and the Masquerade kicking off this evening. But it was Drake who came pounding on my door this morning to fill me in. You can imagine my surprise when he told me that you were here, and, I quote, ‘brought her small aggressive friend with her as guard dog.’”
Riley smirked with a shrug. “Can ya blame a girl? I came to win. Besides, I really like you, Liam.”
He smiled. “I really like you too, Riley. But this isn’t New York. As much as I wish we could just pick up where we left off two nights ago, this entire series of events is set up not just to give me time with my potential matches, but also to give my parents, the Council, and the people of Cordonia time to get to know the future queen. From now on, everyone will be watching you and ... Lady Alyssa.” Liam paused to chuckle and shake his head in amusement. “You actually got your friend to pose as a fake suitor and somehow convinced an honorable and highly dignified member of the court to sponsor her?”
“Yeaaaah, I still don’t know how the hell I did that. I should get extra points for my manipulation skills”
Liam laughed. "I believe you mean, negotiation skills."
Riley nodded. "Yeah, those too."
Already well past the time to make his grand entrance, Bastien approached Liam to give the final warning. Liam acknowledged him and turned back to Riley. “I hope I’ll see you again later tonight, if you’ll save a dance for me. But until then …” He pressed her willing body against the wall, tracing the back of his forefinger along her velvety cheek. “ … just know how very, very, happy I am to have you here, Riley.” His lips were fire and ice when he leaned down to meet her equally fevered ones in a lingering kiss. And she melted right into him.
With that, Liam was whisked away by the head guard and made his way into the ballroom. As a panting Riley brushed her fingertips over the tingling in her bottom lip, she felt so many things all at once: relief that he was happy she was there and already knew everything regarding Alyssa, and that same exhilarating bliss that swept her off her feet two days ago when they shared their time together. But he was abundantly clear, this wasn’t New York anymore, and he still had a duty and obligation to Cordonia regardless of his apparent feelings for her. 
Riley let a puff of air and pushed her backside off the wall to return inside. Just as she did this, the crooked frame bearing the likeness of the late King Fabian she admired earlier fell from its hook and crashed to the floor, causing the ancient glass to shatter beside her. With her head shrunken into her shoulders, Riley slowly peeked out one eye and saw the damage. Glancing down one end of the hall to the other to see if anyone saw her, she glanced down at the shards and still fully intact artwork. Normally she would have hightailed it out of there, but she couldn’t help herself from giving her destruction parting words. 
“I guess you’re not … hung anymore.”
Then she bolted the hell out of there.
--------------
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ectonurites · 3 years
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can anybody please explain the appeal of tim drake because ive been into the batfamily for a while now and tbh im really confused on why people like his character so much compared to the other robins. like they all have their own thing going on and he just... doesnt?
Have you read his Robin solo? Because if not and you want to try to like him but just don’t understand why people do, that’s what I’d recommend. That and like, Young Justice 1998. 
Because Tim definitely... does have his own thing going on. Maybe not in the same way as the others, but like, there’s a reason he has a 183 issue long solo comic that ran for like 16 years: he was fun to read about!
But I will give some more specific thoughts on the subject as a Tim Drake Appreciator™ (this got long im sorry)
The appeal of Tim (especially early on Tim) is kinda the fact that he’s this more normal kid. For a while that is his ‘thing’. He was basically designed to be a self-insert (he definitely became more than that along the way, but from the start he was meant to be relatable) in a different way than how Dick and Jason had been before him. 
Like the role of Robin from the start was this way to create a character young readers could identify with more, could see themselves in more. And Dick and Jason did that, but they still had this element to their lives and stories that was more... unattainable for the average reader. Dick was a circus prodigy, Jason was either also a circus prodigy if we remember pre-crisis or if we go with his post-crisis story he’s this street-wise orphaned kid who had a really tough life but still went on to be a hero anyways. Obviously those lives are relatable for some people, but those’re definitely not as broadly recognized as common upbringings especially not by DC trying to market to the ‘average’ kid/young teen.
But the creation of Tim changed the game a bit. Dick and Jason were these aspirations a kid could look to like ‘wow I want to be cool like that!’ but Tim was a Robin designed for kids to look at and go ‘wow, his problems and civilian life are just like mine AND he’s a hero, I want to be cool like that!’, ya know? Tim was... just a clever kid with an average life who managed to connect some dots and had enough drive to want to fix things he saw were a problem, he didn’t have the same kind of heightened drama backstory the others did. The Robins that came after Tim definitely didn’t have this idea of relatability in mind the same way either. Unfortunately Steph’s time as Robin was much more of a marketing ploy than an actual like... decision to make her Robin, so it’s hard to really fit her into this conversation. But Damian from the start was first of all initially created not to be Robin but just as the son of Talia and Bruce back in the 80’s, but when he was later reimagined into the character that would become Robin he had the whole ‘raised by and is the heir to the league of assassins and is the son of batman’ thing going on still. He just was not supposed to be relatable that same way, he was a character designed with different things in mind.
I really think it was more just DC’s 90′s era younger-audience comics in general that tried to push that relatability thing (like in YJ how Cissie even after quitting the team stays a major character as a civilian throughout, and the civilian aspect that’s super present in Bart’s 90s solo too, etc), but later in the 2000’s that idea was definitely pushed to the side in favor of... putting in even more dramatic superhero-y stuff.
And the other thing that’s... such a more normal thing but it actually made him unique here, was that Tim’s dad was still alive until like 2004 (so 15 years into Tim being around as a character). This gave Tim a lot more typical ‘family school girlfriends normal life etc’ problems on top of/in contrast with his superhero problems. These just manifested in very different ways than they could with the other Robins because of that unique situation with a living civilian parent who doesn’t know about hero stuff (until he did find out which lead to that whole Unmasked thing, but there was only the brief time around War Games & Identity Crisis where Jack knew Tim was actively Robin and he was... still alive) Tim also had his life at school expanded way more than most other Robins, like, he had such an extended supporting cast of civilian friends which is a really interesting thing to read about (and the fact that he hasn’t had that stuff since the New 52 I think really hurts his character)
And then related to that loss of his dad... Personally another thing about Tim that really interests me is how a lot of things were more... his choice. if that makes sense. A lot of characters in the Batfamily were struck with tragedy/extreme trauma before they became heroes and that’s what spurred them into this life of becoming heroes. Tim’s situation wasn’t like that at all! When he first got involved in everything during Lonely Place of Dying, the only tragedy he’d experienced was watching Dick’s tragedy happen. Which sure yes traumatic obviously, but that’s not the same as how pretty much all the other Bats had gone through these very personal losses or other sorts of very first-hand personal traumas that served as motivators. Tim didn’t start to experience those things until after he got involved in the hero life, and aside from his Mom’s death which was more of just an unrelated incident (that technically happened before he was officially Robin but it was during his time training to become Robin), pretty much all these other tragedies and things... would not have happened or been experienced by him had he not become Robin. 
That’s not me placing blame on him or anything like that, because god no that’s not how that works, but it’s very interesting because from his point of view he definitely feels that guilt because he knows him being Robin played a role in a lot of it (Thinking specifically about in Adventure Comics #3 when Kon even says “I know what guilt does to you” to him like it’s... it’s a thing with him!). His dad was murdered because he was Robin. He only met Steph and started dating her through being Robin, and thus he would not have experienced the loss of his girlfriend dying like that had he not been Robin. Tim met both Conner and Bart through being Robin, and would not have had a personal connection to them when they died otherwise. The whole Bruce’s death thing after Final Crisis, like. I could go on honestly, that was only talking about losses not even his own experiences nearly getting killed, but yeah, all these personal tragedies were experienced by him specifically because he chose to bring himself into this life, which I think in turn plays into how throughout his comics you see him go from having this really optimistic view on things and being really hopeful to seeing him at that low point he reaches by the time of Red Robin. (thinking about that one post that points out how Tim started out in the 90′s as an optimist and Steph a cynic and by the time they were Red Robin and Batgirl in 2009 they had switched outlooks...) 
I also think that him having had such a great team book with the original Young Justice can help contribute to people liking him. His friendships with the rest of the core four and that team in general are really compelling. (and that’s something like again when looking at the other Robins, while Dick had the Titans ofc, Jason never really found footing with a team outside of like one mission with the Titans and then We All Know How Damian’s Teen Titans Stuff Went. Steph also only ever really worked with a team outside the batfam on very brief occasions) and even though I’m not as big of a fan of the 2003 Teen Titans run that came after YJ, people who read Young Justice and also that could follow and be attached to those same characters over a pretty decently long period of time. 
Idk man, I don’t really have an ultimate point here i’m just rambling. I can definitely understand not seeing the appeal to him right away (honestly i’ve been into Batfam since like 2013/2014 and Tim did not become one of my faves until 2020) especially if like... idk when you say ‘into the batfamily’ that can mean a lot of different things. If you’re reading more like the bigger events with the batfam sure Tim can kinda fade into the bg a bit, if you’re more talking about fanon the fanon version of him is prettyyyyy uhhhhh not really the same as how he was in pre New 52 canon, if you’re mainly reading New 52 era Batfam stuff then that Tim I also don’t understand the appeal of bc thats Not My Boy, if you’re interested in a different member primarily and only familiar with Tim when he shows up in things focused on that other character then it’s easy to not really understand the appeal right away bc he’s more there to support that character rather than shine in his own right. 
I think it’s also worth mentioning he’s just not everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine. Like, these are fictional characters and sometimes you just will vibe with a character and sometimes you won’t! idk if this helped at all or even made sense. but yeah. I just think he’s neat 😌
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stylesnews · 3 years
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A year ago, the guitar was in dire straits. With songs like Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode,” Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” and Panic! At the Disco’s “High Hopes” among the most consumed of 2019, programmed beats and horns were the sonic flavors of popular music. Sure, there were outliers — the Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker,” Maroon 5’s “Memories” and Post Malone’s “Circles” among them — but as the rock and alternative genres embraced artists like Billie Eilish, whose innovative music made the traditional band approach feel outdated, the days of chords and solos seemed numbered if not headed towards irrelevance.
Then came the coronavirus pandemic and things changed. Forced to perform from home or in rooms not intended for live music during lockdown, many artists went back to basics and out came the trusty six-string. For iHeartRadio’s “Living Room Concert for America” in March, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl played an acoustic Guild on “My Hero”; Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day strummed to his band’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”; and even Eilish, with her collaborator brother Finneas, sang her hit “Bad Guy” accompanied by only a Fender acoustic. Other benefit livestreams like Global Citizen’s “One World Together At Home” event saw the Rolling Stones, Keith Urban and Shawn Mendes strip down their hit songs for unplugged versions. And in April, Miley Cyrus delivered an emotional cover of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” on “Saturday Night Live” with Andrew Watt, himself a COVID survivor, on guitar.
At the same time, there was an electric guitar solo being heard on one of the most-played songs in the United States. Harry Styles’ “Adore You,” which has logged 1.1 million radio spins in 2020, according to Mediabase, and has been streamed more than 400 million times, per Alpha Data, features the playing of Kid Harpoon (real name: Tom Hull), Styles’ friend and producer, who handled the guitar parts for much of the Brit’s excellent “Fine Line” album, released in Dec. 2019. As it turns out, the melody of the solo, which also serves as the bridge to “Adore You,” was first hummed by Styles for Hull to emulate. “I did it with my mouth into a microphone,” Styles told Variety in October. “And then Tom sent me this video trying to get it to sound the same. He spent a couple of hours getting it.”
Why include a guitar solo when most pop songs would never dare? “I feel it’s kind of like ‘La La Land’ saving jazz  — only for rock ‘n’ roll,” Styles cracked when posed with the question. But more seriously speaking, Variety‘s Hitmaker of the Year added: “I’m not a spearheader of the movement, like, ‘Let’s bring back guitars.’ There’s plenty of times when [a song] doesn’t sound better with a guitar, and you don’t use it. But a lot of the references I grew up with have guitars; and it’s the first instrument I played, so it makes sense that I would like the sound of them more. I don’t think the guitar is dying. Guitars are great and always have been.”
In fact, guitar sales in 2020 have been robust. Music retailer Sweetwater reports more than 50% year-over-year growth in guitar purchases, with even larger increases during the peak COVID months of April, May and June “when customers most likely hunkered down to practice and create music after watching all of the streaming video they could handle,” according to a rep for the Indiana-based company.
The spike extended to other string instruments as well, which saw growth of more than 70% year-over-year in the price range of $299 or lower. The metric indicates that “new players are joining the fold,” says Sweetwater, which has been in business for over four decades and operates online. (Competitor Guitar Center, with more than 250 physical locations in the U.S., did not fare as well, filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last month.)
Even in the virtual world, learning to play an instrument has taken off during lockdown. The platform Yousician, which provides interactive learning for guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and voice, currently reigns as the No. 1 app for music instruction while its sister product, GuitarTuna, is tops for guitar tuning.
Ask current writers and producers working in pop and hip-hop about their process and you soon learn that an acoustic guitar is often the beginning or the essence of a hit song. Among Variety‘s 2020 Hitmakers, the trio of Taz Taylor, Charlie Handsome and KC Supreme credited a guitar loop as the foundation for Trevor Daniel’s “Falling.” For Maren Morris’ “The Bones,” producer Greg Kurstin noted: “The first thing I noticed was Jimmy Robbins’ guitar hook; I wanted to keep the song rooted in that.”
“So many hit songs from 2020 started with a acoustic or electric guitar, whether it be a melody line or simple progression,” says songwriter and producer Jenna Andrews, whose recent credits include BTS’ “Dynamite” and Benee’s “Supalonely.”
And often, those guitar-based foundations remained through the finished product — for instance, 24KGoldn’s “Mood,” with its impossibly catchy sun-kissed guitar riff, and Powfu’s “death bed (coffee for your head).”
“I know it sounds kinda old school, but I love it when a well-recorded acoustic pops off on the radio,” says Sam Hollander, whose hits include the aforementioned “High Hopes” and Fitz and the Tantrums’ “HandClap.” “The bulk of my songs tend to be born on guitar. Without that foundation, the lyrics and melodies never really emote the heartbeat and emotion that I’m trying to dial in. There’s just a general warmth to it that’s hard to replicate. It’s like the warmest chocolate chip cookie.”
“I think the prevalence of guitar in 2020 has a lot to do with hip-hop producers using more emo and punk-rock influences,” offers Angie Pagano, whose AMP management company represents Tommy Brown (Ariana Grande, Blackpink) and Mr. Franks, among others. “Juice Wrld really helped bring this into the mainstream over the last few years. We’re seeing a great blend of emo and trap these days.”
Indeed, the year’s most-consumed hits leaned hip-hop — Roddy Ricch’s “The Box” landed at No. 1 on the Hitmakers list with Future and Drake, Jack Harlow and Megan Thee Stallion in the Top 10 — but even DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” the No. 3 song of the year, referenced a guitar in its chorus, albeit alongside mention of a Glock pistol. That visual may go against what Hollander calls “the Kumbaya vibe of the guitar,” but the song still features an acoustic strum at its core.
In the case of Styles’ 2020 successes, which also include the ubiquitous “Watermelon Sugar,” his producer further explained that, while aware of what was reacting on the charts at the time they were recording, Styles wasn’t about to chase the trends. Said Tom Hull: “We [thought], we can’t play the commercial game in terms of what’s happening right now. What we can do is make music that really resonates with us. There’s no blueprint. You just have faith. We love records from the ’70s and ’80s; weird prog rock music that might be a seven-minute instrumental; then you’re listening to Shania Twain, like, ‘This is awesome, too.’ The goal was to make something we will always love, and if it completely flops commercially, at least we know we love it. We have that.”
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watch-talk-fixate · 3 years
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The Humility of Family and Being a Hero: A Darkwing Duck and Drake Mallard Analysis.
Special thanks to @stoopakoopa @mighty-ant @drakepad because they inspired me.
Ducktales 2017. A show that a lot of people saw a simple cash grab and the exploitation of nostalgia of 80s and 90s kids alike. But it was a true surprise. A show of adventure and family and exploring yourself in the family name. This show brought so many characters from the golden age of Disney Channel called “The Disney Afternoon Era” with faces from shows like: Gizmoduck, Talespin, Goof Troop and Darkwing Duck. 
The whole concept of Darkwing Duck is quite silly really. A parody of Batman, superhero tropes and even James Bond but with a duck in the suburbs of the fictional city of Saint Canard living with his boyfriend sidekick Launchpad and his adopted daughter Gosalyn. As someone who watched the show in reruns back in the day and recently rewatched it on Disney Plus, I didn’t think I would have appreciated this show as much as I thought I would. Dry and witty humor that caught me off guard and it truly doesn’t seem as dated as other shows from those times. 
But I’m here to talk about Drake Mallard and what it means to be a superhero and a parent. 
(For the sake of the analysis, I will be referring to Drake Mallard from the Ducktales 2017 reboot as “Drake Mallard!17” and the Drake Mallard from the OG Darkwing Duck show as “Drake Mallard!91”.)
Ducktales 2017 for a long time was alluring to bringing Darkwing Duck into the universe of the show. Many fans didn't know how this was possible until a certain episode that was the rise of another superhero and Darkwing Duck’s long time rival: Gizmoduck (now voiced by the guy who wrote a Broadway musical that won many awards-- Bring It On the Musical. I’m kidding. Lin Manuel Miranda). In the episode ‘The BUDDY System’ we are shown what looks like a fight scene between Darkwing Duck and his villains, MegaVolt and QuackerJack. But then it’s abruptly cut when it’s revealed to be a video. An episode. Launchpad explains to Dewey (the blue duck nephew of Donald Duck) that Darkwing Duck is his favorite TV show’ meaning that Darkwing Duck is a TV show in the Ducktales 2017 universe. A show inside a show. 
Weird, right? 
But what does this have to do with being a superhero and a parent and how family humbles you? Well, in the OG Darkwing Duck show the character of Drake Mallard is shown to be a late-20s to early-40s nobody in his two-parter episode debut-- “Darkly Dawns the Duck”-- who spends his days locked inside an abandoned bridge tower and out fighting small-time crime at night as a purple masked weirdo. And I say this in the kindest way ever but Drake Mallard!91 is an asshole. It’s later revealed in the show that he wanted to be a superhero not because he wanted to protect the people in his city -- that is a parody of Batman’s Gotham -- but because he wanted the praise and attention of being a hero. He’s a hero for a selfish reason. 
But how is it possible to have an asshole for a main character that lasted 91 episodes? Drake Mallard!91 has a child. It isn’t his biological daughter really but she is his daughter. In his two-parter episode his first real ‘save’ is the granddaughter of a scientist that was murdered by the mafia and now they are after the granddaughter because she has the code for a machine that they are going to use to rob banks and release mayhem across the world. Darkwing Duck!91 goes to save her and they start to have a bond that makes my daddy issues burst into tears. 
Hiding her in his secret hide-out, she isn’t comfortable and Gosalyn needs to sleep so as a way to calm her down he sings her dead grandfather’s lullaby to her. I won’t reveal the rest of the episode or the “plot twist”(?) because I think it’s a cute episode. But here we see that Drake Mallard!91 does have the ability to care about others that isn’t himself or his reputation. 
At the end of the episode, he goes out of his way to adopt Gosalyn and officially makes her his daughter. Throughout the series, you see that Drake Mallard!91 bonds with Gosalyn. Taking her to school, talking to her about emotional things, and doing everything in his power to protect her from the harm that comes with him being a superhero. But in one of my favorite episodes “Toys R Czar”, Drake Mallard!91 has come to the conclusion that he can’t both be a hero and great parent after one of Gosalyn’s teachers points out that she has been causing a lot of issues at school. He blames himself for not being a good parent, reading parenting books and following them to the letter. Cleaning, baking cookies and even being the director for a play where he made Gosalyn the star. 
He gives up being Darkwing Duck. He gives up the one thing that he worked so hard and was so proud of. Drake Mallard!91 put his ego aside to be a good parent and was ready to throw away his cape and pick up an actual job to raise Gosalyn. He did the toughest thing about being a hero, a figure of salvation: having a family. 
I think that the reason that I enjoyed the OG Darkwing Duck a lot despite me being a bitch to the pain character’s ego and pride was that yes, he would probably be a terrible parent but he has Gosalyn and Launchpad to guide him. He has them to ground him and not let his ego overrun him into believing he’s such a big-shot hero because he stops supervillains with only a gas gun, smoke bombs and a purple mask. His family makes him human-- despite him being a duck. 
Now moving onto Ducktales 2017. In the episode ‘The BUDDY System’ when Launchpad is telling Dewey about Darkwing Duck being his favorite TV show and growing up on it he mentions an actor’s name: Jim Starling. 
Jim Starling plays Darkwing Duck. Remember that. 
(Fun Fact: the actor who voices the OG Darkwing Duck/Drake Mallard!91 does the voice of Jim Starling.) 
In my favorite and comfort episode “The Duck Knight Rises” we are shown that Jim Starling has suffered the same fate of Bo Jack Horseman: a washed out actor from the 80s/90s that is living on the steam of his former success. Jim is no longer as popular as he was back in the day, making money off of signing autographs and openings of less-than-desirable stores. It isn’t until Dewey mentions the fact that there is a Darkwing Duck Movie ready to release that we see Jim Starling happy and ready to jump back into the role. 
The Role of a Hero. 
We discover that Scrooge McDuck is the one producing the movie and after watching the trailer both Launchpad and Jim Starling agree that this isn’t faithful to the character. Yet Jim doesn’t really care, he wants to be back into the light and have the attention and adoration of an actor. Of being a hero. How very of Drake Mallard!91 of him. 
The director of the Duck Knight Rises movie tells Jim that he isn’t playing Darkwing Duck. A younger actor is. Outraged, he attacks the actor and is kicked out alongside Launchpad. Jim Starling believes that he is owed this role. That this role only belongs to him and no one else in the world. Roping Launchpad into his plan, here we see that Jim Starling never truly let go of his past when he slips on his old Darkwing Duck costume to play hero again. 
It is Launchpad that begins to question him when Jim starts to ramble about revenge, Launchpad still looking at his old idol with nostalgia tinted glasses and goes along with the plan. 
Here is where the analysis begins to pick up again. When LP sneaks into the actor’s trailer and immediately panics, locking himself, the Actor comes to his rescue. After some light fighting we see that the Actor is a big fan of the Darkwing Duck; possibly bigger than LP himself. LP does have a connection with the show but it seems that he Actor here takes it up more personally. That his whole ideologies and all of his morals came from a silly little show from his childhood and is the reason he is the way he is today. This whole movie is his big shot and a dream come true. 
Immediately after this, we see Jim Starling running around and knocking people out. Actually hurting people just to get back into the role he’s clinging on to. Paralleling the Actor’s acceptance of the role and Jim ready to draw blood because he can’t let go. 
Finally, we see the Actor and Jim Starling have a “sane” interaction. That it’s a huge honor to be here with him, says the Actor. That he wants to play the role of Darkwing Duck with Jim’s blessing. That they can do this together. 
But Jim wants this for his own. All for himself. 
After knocking the Actor out, we see a glimpse of how gone he is. How attention thirsty he is and that he will literally stop at nothing to get back on screen. 
The whole climatic fight of the episode is the Actor putting on his new Darkwing Duck costume and heading off face first into danger to save people as Jim Starling just snaps. The new confronts the old. With the trademark, goofy Darkwing Duck openings of I am the terror that flaps in the night but more modern. 
As they fight, it’s LP that finally gets to Jim with him telling him how much Darkwing Duck means to him and what it means to be a hero like him. As a power beam prop is ready to fall on top of LP, Jim does what a hero is supposed to do. Sacrifice. By pushing his biggest fan out of the way, he completes the role he has been yearning to play. 
They don’t find the body. (Yes this is a kids show). But here is where we learn that the Actor’s name is Drake Mallard. 
Drake Mallard!17. 
Launchpad is the one that convinces Drake Mallard!17 to be the true Darkwing Duck. For Jim. 
Jim Starling is what the OG Darkwing Duck was. Egotistical, wanting fame and attention, having all of the qualities that would make anyone doubt that he is truly a hero. The thing is that if Jim Starling only played Darkwing Duck, not Drake Mallard (because in this universe he is a real person), then it means that he didn’t have a Launchpad or a Gosalyn to ground him. Jim Starlings is what happens when a hero is isolated and is only a hero and not a person. 
Drake Mallard!17 is a person who becomes a hero while Jim Starling is an actor who pretended to be a hero. Jim was stuck in his own vanity, not having anyone truly reminding him that he isn't’ the roles he plays; that he isn’t Darkwing Duck. 
Drake Mallard is Darkwing Duck.
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