#and went down a trip thru memory lane

[chynandri]

found all the most soft babygirl looking screenshots i had of him so i can easily look at it again and again

#ffxiv #chrom me #i really went and deleted all the screenshots i dont need today #and went down a trip thru memory lane #he was sooooo cute with the windswept longer hair aghhhhh #that era is over tho... #something about the big winter coat tataru gives you makes him look especially soft

[that-unhinged-stem-dude]

Klaus Hargreeves : Prince of Darkness

The title will make sense to those who have watched season 3.

I will be talking about his character development in season 3 so those who havent watched S3, watch it and then read.

⚠️ THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 3 ⚠️

TW : light swearing, mention of death, substance abuse

Klaus, my beloved. So integral yet so irrelevant. The duality *chef’s kiss*.

no like fr

we got to see him overcome his parental issues and develop a replacement relationship w reggie only for it to backfire lmao

i mean he is one of the most accepting characters i have seen/read and i just feel much more at ease watching him

When he helped reggie get off the drugs, it just gave me such a callback to his substance and drug addiction where he had no one to help him but there he was helping him and im so glad he could get closure in his relationship with reginald. Like i was full on fucking sobbing ok? ive never had anyone take care of me without judging me, internally or externally.

OH and when stan killed him and he went for a walk down memory lane, seeing his 13 year old self and saying hang in there 😭 but its so cool that his hidden power is legit immortality because i would fucking want to die the minute i found out if i had that power. That pre-teen girl who he saw when he died was so done with him 💀

I just loved five and klaus bonding on their little road trip. Also the scene where the Amish people chase him with their fucking pitchforks, comedic gold. Like he had the purest intentions and they were like “no, lets chase you.” Also him meeting his mom in the Void? So wholesome although i have absolutely no memory of it.

CAN WE SPEAK ABT HIS LOGIC?? when reggie left him behind, i was about throw hands but he came thru man. He k*lled himself and just went into the void before he kugeblitzed. Hes just so smart i love it.

Klaus was genuinely happy to see Ben again and tried SO hard to get him to open up and all it took was to get him drunk at Luther and Sloane’s wedding lmao. But fr, imagine seeing the brother you just lost who sacrificed himself to save your other brother.

I definitely have more thoughts but my memory is bad. Feel free to share your thoughts in the notes!!

#klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua season 3 #tua spoilers #sir reginald hargreeves #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #viktor hargreeves

[satoruvt]

Hello! I was just thinking about you and the old discord server and all of our old friends. It’s crazy crazy how times change. Just wanted you to know I still think about all of you sometimes. I hope you’re well. - 🍍

WHY DIDNT I SEE THIS 🤬 recently ive been thinking about all of you too :( went thru a little trip down memory lane (my old posts) and was like wahhh... we were all babies. while i dont keep up with everyone its been so sweet to watch everyone grow up :')

#such a big part of my life i could never not think of u all #seeing ur little pineapple emoji in my asks like 😭😭 damn its been so long #adi speaks

[remzarci]

A Creepypasta about something that TOTALLY HAPPENED GUYS!!

Once upon a time I was hungry so I decided to go to Tiffany's for a bite to eat.

As I drove from Tiffany's I saw a yard sale. Not wanted to pass up some neat bargains I parked my car and walked over. As I looked over the wares this old man had I saw a box of old Video Games! I took a look and found SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty Krab. And I was his with a wave of nostalgia!

I turned to the old man and asked him how much. He had a sad look on his face and told me I can just take it! And then limped away back to his lawn chair. I felt bad so I took out my phone and began to to record him. Making HIM the main character of real life for a little bit! He didn't do anything particularly interesting outside of selling someone a DVD boxset of Friends. Anywhosen, I got back in my car and drove home! Funnily enough Ocean man was Playing but it was kind of off.

What I could make out was:

Ocean Man, let go of my hand, I don't understand, leave me on the sand

ocean man, the journey to rock bottom's bus station is a real trip

Probably nothing but it was strange.

then I got home and was getting ready to play my FAVORITE childhood game. So I dug out my Wii and started plugging things in. But then I noticed my conkeldurr sitting cuties plush was crying what I thought was blood but in actuality was Mountain Dew Code red, for FOUR minutes and TWENTY seconds!

I didn't think much of it as I continued to install my ps2

once my Wii was ready I placed the game cart in and got ready to go down memory lane.

But the title screen was strange. It looked worn and dusty. and spongebob looked a little too high def. Also Tiny Tims Tip Toe thru the Tulips with Me was playing at 1/10th speed.

And then things took for a turn.

Once I started the game...A GHOST CAME OUT OF MY TV AND STARTED PUNCHING ME IN THE FAAAAAAAAACE!!!! it just pucnhed me the face repeatedly! I tried to get away but the ghost was far too strong! Just as I was losing hope the Door swung open and there stood Markiplier!

his face wore an expression of extreme rage. his eyes were red and HYPER REALISTIC!

And then he darted over and began to stomp me in my pancreas. The ghost markiplier combo continued to beat on me as I wailed in pain! Just then Jeremy Pascal came in. And then joined in on the beating!

"Why are you all doing this to me?" I asked painfully! Then all three of them threw me into the tv where I fell sixty-NINE meters!! I watched as the ground quickly approached me and all I could say was "AW THIS IS GONNA SUCK!!" But before I could hit the ground The song The Time is Now blared as an unseen force rescues me in the nick of time!

I then awoke in a hospital bed. Sitting in the corner was the old man I turned into the main character. he told me that game belonged to his late grand-niece-in-law who, while watching a cursed looney tunes episode, died from having an anvil dropped on her and now the game is cursed unless I eat a spoonful of cinnamon without coughing it up, to cleanse the game of it's horrible curse. of summoning people to beat me up!(edited)

So! against the wishes of my nurse and doctor I limped to the store and grabbed a thing of cinnamon and went back to my house! There the trio were there ready to beat me up! But I took a HUGE spoonful of the stuff! God it was awful but through my tears I saw the Ghost get sucked back into the tv, Markiplier got weirded out and just left and Jeremy Pascal? uhhhh he just vanished. The deed was done! The game came out of my PC and I placed it back in the case. you know, it could be the brain trauma I'm suffering but I think I lesson is to be learned here and that lesson is:

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. -Me, Just now

So I sent the game off to sea. thanking it for such a profound lesson.

Thank you SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty Krab. Thank you

This has been a Crappypasta written with friend. thank you for reading!

#crappypasta #spookystory #creepypasta #write-a-creepypasta-with-friends!

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

How the weather up there, tall man? (Minnie I just took a trip down memories fuken lane and decided to try and go back and look at the first post ever made hear because I thought it would be nice to remember the old days when I first got hear and HOLY SHI-)

"the weather is fine up here i only get struck by lighting every third thursday of the year"

Mod Monnie: dear god you went all the way back? WOOF you must have had a trip god i'd say it's impressive if you actually have read thru the whole blog but i'd also think somethings wrong with you lmao

also alot of the stuff from 2019 and 2020 is likely out of date lmao charlie's humor and shit has evolved alot! also lore of course

#Mod Monnie #mod replies #charlie the phone guy #charlie the cursed phone guy

[marshmallsy]

OH MY GOD i forgot i never posted these to my tumblr? these are from my d20 lovecore art game i drew waaaaay back on twitter, but here ya go!!!

#dimension 20 #aelwyn abernant #ragh barkrock #esther sinclair #fantasy high #the unsleeping city #marshmallsydraws #actually this esther is the best esther i ever drew she's GORGEOUS #i was scrolling thru my media posts for a trip down memory lane and went HOLD UP I DREW THESE????

[wordsandshawn]

Midnight Drive

Here’s some fluff that has been sitting half-finished in my drafts for what feels like forever. I really like how it turned out, so I hope you enjoy!

|| message me || masterlist ||

word count: 1.5k 

The kind of tired you’ve experienced over the last six months since the twins were born is the type of tired you had never experienced before in your life. It’s the type of tired you didn’t think it was possible to feel. Pulling all-nighters to study for exams or staying up all night because of jet lag doesn’t even come close to the kind of exhaustion you feel now. 

Shawn took the first few months off after the twins were born, but he went back on the road when the twins were three months old. You’ve spent time on and off with him on the road because you and Shawn agreed that you wanted to keep your family together as much as possible. 

However, after a month on the road with the twins, you and Shawn decided together that it would best for you to return home and for him to finish out the next couple of months on his own. Traveling with the twins was more difficult than either of you imagined or could have predicted and it was taking its toll on both you and Shawn. With his attention divided between being a husband and father, helping you with the kids and also being a performer and putting on a show every night, it was affecting his performance in both areas. 

So after a rough month of traveling that wasn’t good for anyone, you and the twins returned home to Toronto. Shawn has come back home as much as he possibly could in order to be with you and spend time with the babies, but it still feels like he’s rarely ever home. You have your family’s support and Shawn’s family’s as well, but everyone has their own lives and jobs, and you could never ask them to drop it all to help you with the babies. 

You and Shawn have discussed the possibility of hiring a nanny, but you haven’t found the right person yet, meaning it has mostly been you and your twins for the past few months with the occassional visits from family members, and Shawn’s short breaks at home. 

Its nearing one am, and both babies appear to be wide awake for a reason you can’t quite comprehend. Both have just eaten and had their diaper’s changed/ You’re exhausted, but the decision basically makes itself when neither baby appears to be going to sleep. You don’t want to wake up Shawn, since he just got home last night, and he has to be feeling pretty jetlagged and exhausted himself. Trying to keep them as quiet as possible, you strap both babies into their infant car seats, hushing them and quietly talking to them the entire time, hoping they’ll be tired enough to sleep soon. You’re almost out the door when Shawn comes padding down the stairs. He seems only half awake, but he must have woken up, noticed you weren’t in bed, and come searching for you. When he sees the babies in their carseats, he seems to be more alert. 

“What’s going on?” He questions, rubbing his eyes then yawning. 

“I’m taking them for a drive.” You respond. 

“Now?” He questions, his eyes widening.

You just shrug, this isn’t the first middle of the night excursion the three of you have been on and you’re nearly certain it won’t be the last. Shawn knows that you sometimes take the twins out for drives when they’re fussy or won’t go to sleep because it’s one of the only things that actually calms them both down and almost always puts them right to sleep. He just didn’t know so much that you do it in the middle of the night like this. 

“Yeah, they’re wide awake and I can’t get them both down at once. It’s easier to take a drive. I got it Shawn, go back to sleep.” You say, putting both carseats back on the ground before closing the space between you and Shawn to hug him briefly. 

He hugs you back, but when he lets go, he doesn’t turn to walk back upstairs like you expected. Instead, he grabs the carseats, “I’ll take them, you go back to sleep.” He says determined. 

“No, it’s okay, Shawn.” You try to argue. 

He pauses for a second, the two of you, both tired just standing there at the foot of the stairs. “We can both go?” He offers, adding, “I’ll drive.” 

The suggestion sounds nice, so you immediately agree. Five minutes later, Shawn is backing out of the garage, both babies safely strapped into their carseats, and you get comfortable in the passenger seat, admiring your husband and hoping the babies fall asleep soon. 

Shawn turns the radio down so only soft sounds are coming through the speakers. The predictable movement of the car serves to not only lull the babies to sleep, but you find yourself dozing off as well. 

You’re not sure how much time passes, but you open your eyes with the intention of checking on the babies and telling Shawn its time to head back home, when you notice Shawn turning into a parking lot of a fast food restaurant. 

“What are you doing?” You question. 

He startles a bit, not realizing you had woken up, before saying, “I thought you were sleeping.” He pulls the car into the drive-thru lane that has only one car in it. You can only assume it is full of drunk and/or high college kids since the University isn’t far from here. You remember when that was you and your friends, but it feels like a lifetime ago now. 

“Remember when I first got my license.” Shawn reminisces. 

A smile crosses your face remembering being sixteen, but it turns into a frown. “And then you left for LA the next day.” You respond. 

Shawn smiles, shaking his head a bit. “Yeah, but when I got back. Do you remember that?” He persists, trying to jog your memory, to see if you still remember.

You can’t stop the smile that crosses your face. Of course you remember. “I don’t think my parents know about that to this day,” You shake your head at the thought of being a teenager and Shawn showing up at your house in the middle of the night because his flight got back late, after your curfew on a school night, so you weren’t supposed to see him until the next day.

It wsa close to one am when Shawn texted you saying he was outside, and he just really wanted to see you. Practically giddy with anticipation of finally getting to see your boyfriend again after two weeks, which felt like a lifetime back then, you snuck out, got into Shawn’s brand new jeep, and he took you through a drive-thru where he bought you french fries and ice cream. 

The car in front of you moves forward, and you glance into the backseat to see your twins both fast asleep. Shawn rolls down his window and orders a large fries and two ice cream cones. He asks for an extra cup on the side knowing about your strange way of eating ice cream, and then he turns to you, asking, “Do you want anything else?” 

You shake your head and he turns back to the screen, “That’s it. Thank you.” He tells the cashier. She lets him know the total, and he starts driving forward, pulling his wallet from his pocket. 

After Shawn pulls out of the drive thru, the bag with the fries in the console between you two, and you holding the two icecream cones, he parks the car in the parking lot on the side of the building. Both you and Shawn know that you could easily go back to the home you now share, with no threat of waiting parents to bust you for breaking curfew or to tell Shawn to go home, but instead, the two of you sit in the car, your two babies fast asleep in the backseat, reliving what had become your tradition back in high school whenever Shawn returned home from a trip. 

Once you got older and had more freedom, you stopped sneaking out to see Shawn in the middle of the night. And for the past few years, you only had to roll over in bed to be closer to him. You don’t even remember the last time you did this. It was definitely long before the twins were born, maybe even before you got married. 

Shawn hands you a spoon from the bag with the fries and you take it, moving some of the ice cream from the cone into the cup and then eating from the cone. Shawn just shakes his head a bit at your weird habit, but he still smiles. You and Shawn eat the ice cream and fries, quietly talking so you won’t wake up the kids. So much has changed since the two of you used to do this together, but you’re still every bit as in love with Shawn now as you were back them when you’d risk being grounded for breaking curfew if it meant you got a few stolen moments together. 

#ive been kind of obsessed with dad!Shawn lately if you havent noticed #I dont know why #Shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Peter Raul Mendes #Shawn Mendes blurb

[michaelsheenpt]

Michael Sheen's beautiful love letter to Port Talbot

The actor takes us, and Jennifer Saunders, on a trip down memory lane as he shows us where he played footy and worked in Wales' first drive-thru

Actor Michael Sheen has done something tonight no-one has ever done before.

He managed to make Port Talbot look awesome, without saying that the steelworks looked like Blade Runner.

Now, I'm not being facetious - ok a little - but Port Talbot often has the face only a mother could love, and you can apply that cliché to many parts of Wales - did you see the valleys in the grip of the pit heads and chimneys? I'm from Treorchy, I'm allowed to say that.

We, and Michael, know that where we come from is pretty awesome and his return to live in Wales after two decades away is testament to that appreciation.

It's often said that we can only appreciate where we come from once we have either been away, or are shown it through someone else's eyes.

Those eyes actually belong to Jennifer Saunders. Michael is her guest on her one-off special, Jennifer Saunders' Memory Lane with Michael Sheen, which follows her and the Quiz, Staged and Prodigal Son actor bombing around Michael's favourite parts of the country in a swanky Jaguar E-type, with the latter in an even swankier waterproof cape.

The programme starts with waving tara to parents Irene and Meyrick, fantasising about having a ski lift to get back up the hill to his home and visiting the pitch where he played most of his games for Baglan Boys club - the Evans Bevan Field.

"I was obsessed with football," said Michael. "I played for Baglan Boys Club at the Evans Bevan pitch. My memory of playing football here was the stinging feel of rain on 10-year-old legs.

"I used to feel a mixture of joy at playing and utter terror. One [because] wanted to play as well as possible and also there was always a sense of latent violence constantly," he laughs.

"There was one famous game, [I was]probably around 12/13 and someone started to have a fight, in the middle of the pitch, and we had been told that if a fight starts you have to find your opposite number.

"Everyone started looking round for their opposite number and our goalkeeper, I believe his nickname was 'Unky' he ran, I remember watching him run, all the way across the pitch to hit the other goalkeeper.

"The match was abandoned."

Not perhaps a rose-tinted view, depends who you are really, but he added: "To this day if I can't sleep I imagine myself on this pitch and certain goals."

It wasn't all football and fighting, though, he also tantalisingly asks the Ab Fab creator: "Would you like to see the site of Wales' first drive-thru burger bar?"

You can't say that Michael Sheen doesn't show visitors all the good places, so off they went to a disused patch of land off the A48 where Burger Master once stood, a drive-thru restaurant that opened in 1988 and where Michael worked while waiting to audition for drama school.

Okay, so you might be thinking 'how is this a love letter to Wales?'

But it's the funny, warm, vivid memories Michael shares with the backdrop of sweeping aerial shots of the lush, green and rust brown backdrop of Port Talbot and golden sandy beaches of Aberavon, the site of the culmination of his huge theatre event , The Passion, in 2011.

And it's the trip to Hay-on-Wye that really shows just how much Wales means to Michael, a place he requested to visit one birthday and then hankered to return ever since.

As the pair leave Port Talbot to the intro of Super Furry Animal 's Juxtaposed with U and weave up towards the near-border town via the A4059 (the moor-road that takes you from Penderyn to the Beacons Reservoir) and the A470, the show, and Michael's memories just invoke the wow-factor you get every single time you travel that route.

From dodging the ponies and sheep, to the view back down to the Cantref reservoir and the stone tower that sits at the tip of the Beacons Reservoir, if Welsh expats weren't homesick before, they definitely were by then.

The 51-year-old actor said: "I remember the first time we ever went to Hay-on-Wye and I was looking out the window and I'd never seen landscape like it, it wasn't just fields and I remember just going into bit of a trance and my imagination going wild.

"The first time I saw that [stone tower] I thought I was in Lord Of The Rings and some sort of wizard lived there."

Back at Port Talbot a visit to the Plaza Cinema - which is currently in the middle of being regenerated - reminds Michael of going to see Star Wars, people dancing in the aisle to Grease and flicking Maltesers down to the people below. Jennifer asks him if seeing the places from his past changing and disappearing is the reason he returned home to Wales.

"It is a weird thing to see the old footsteps just disappear it has forced me to think about how fortunate I'd been," he answered. "Suddenly it makes you realise that things aren't there forever and unless you fight for them they can go.

"I found myself starting to do more things around [on a] community level and I thought 'I just want to be here now.'

"I'd got myself to a point in my career where I had a lot of resource, not just financial, other resources and I want to use that to at least do my bit to try and make sure that the people where I come from have the same opportunities, at the very least , like I had."

The episode ends with a trip to Aberavon seafront, where The Passion came to it's grand end back during Easter 2011.

After making a joke - "We are now approaching the roundabout I was crucified on, not many people can say that' - the master impressionist who's taken on a mastered Kenneth Williams, Tony Blair (x3), David Frost and Brian Clough, talks about the National Theatre Wales production which involved thousands of locals as well as the actor as the lead character. And he gets emotional.

"It was incredibly emotional," he said, noting that the images projected behind him on the cross were home videos, memories from Port Talbot in years gone by.

"Home videos, events from the past, my mum and dad's wedding, over the years of developing it I kept a list of people who had died and events that used to be put on in the town that weren't put on anymore, things that has been lost."

Explaining the final words of The Passion: "It has begun!" he told Jennifer how important his home is, and why he returned and you can feel the authenticity in his strength of feeling. He said: "It was the story of the rebirth of the town. The story of The Passion was always the story of this town. I remember thinking I will never do anything as meaningful as this again.

"It changed my life in all kinds of ways, the time I spent working on it I developed a new relationship with this place. I got to know it in a way I never knew it growing up here and it pulled me back."

You can see Jennifer Saunders' Memory Lane on ITV player.

SOURCE

#michael sheen #jennifer saunders #itv #memory lane #port talbot #wales #its gonna be so emotional

[dandylyins]

this redraw is legit 2100x1500, oh frick yum

#adventure time #at #marshall lee #fiona #fionna #? idk which spelling it is #GOD the one on the left is from way back when i was active on my old devART account #i'm going thru stuff on there rn and dying interally #part of the description on this old art: #Confused? What the heck am I talking about? High School Fan fiction? Allow me to shed some light on the subject. #I recently got a fan fiction account while my tablet was being a butt so I've been posting Divergent Fanfictions and then I saw FioLee and I #was like HAHAHAHA YUP. THIS IS HAPPENING. And so I went to draw it and it came out like shit using the mouse so I began writing the Fan Fict #tion instead. Now that I have a skeleton plot for which I can wrap the juicy details around I decided to make a cover for it. #THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE COVER FOR MY FAN FICTION #GGGOODDDD #anyway hope you all enjoyed that trip down memory lane in the tags #hit tht MF fave if u made it all the way down to here #old #2017

[ewizard2k7]

The time has come, the time has come

Tis the time for me to return to my old childhood stomping grounds and conquer The Urbz: Sims In The City, once more... Central Station is always my starting district, i was a super edgy dweebus when i was younger nd the soundtrack has always fcked uwu i thought it would be a nice litle trip down memory lane and take my old route thru all the districts :)) I’m gonna b real with y’all, i completely underestimated yet again how truly hard The Urbz is to look at lmao.. im already expecting that a lot of the contents of it haven’t aged well at all, it’s already fascinating to replay this game a decade later with fresh new peepers always a bloody challenge trying to make a normal looking human man in The Urbz, one serious critique i have is the lack of weight options and skin tones..;;  CAS is uncomfortably limited in terms of customisation in the end i jst went with this pretty long faced young man and honestly? i think it works, he’s not looking so bad (much better than the sims my brother and i would make in this game as kids for sure lmao) His name is Homer Weiss, i didnt get any pics of his starting outfit, but i am truly hooked on this goth look he’s got going on rn so i took an embarrassing amount of screenies.. uwu

#the urbz sims in the city #the sims #Homer Weiss #Central Station #Beelzebob Jones #in game photography #gameplay #simblr #georbpost

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

#text post #tagged in #wow long post #wow x2 #tag memes

[sweetgums]

To the lovely tumblr user who went thru my entire beelzebub tag tonight

thank you, you made my night. that was a sweet trip down memory lane.

#sg says beelzebub

[mamabearlarusso]

Rollercoaster Ride (Journal)

After hearing a few hard truths from @extremeskate, I was honestly still a little bit nervous--gaining strength for the long and hard journey ahead--but I was keeping an eye on that light at the end of the tunnel...all morning and afternoon at work the next day.

I stepped in to check on the bonsais, during my break--something I had done more often these days, since...well, since they all left. The trees hadn't been trimmed in a while--I hadn't picked up the clippers in years, and now...I just couldn't bring myself to try again--but I would water and repot them whenever they needed it. I'd usually get called away before I finished and it was usually Anoush or Sheila with something that needed signing.

Sometimes I almost felt a presence in the room with me, for a split a second before they walked in. I guess it was just wishful thinking getting the better of me...at the beginning of the year, I was hoping that it would be Daniel turning the corner--that everything hadn't gone pear shaped and at least our kids still had their father around...during that period of radio silence, I was hoping that Robby would just drop by with some wild and crazy story explaining where he had been...it wouldn't have needed to be an apology for scaring me half to death...(I didn't--and still don't--feel I have the right to expect, let alone demand the same from him that I would Sam and Anthony...caring for someone else's child had it's own trials I was constantly trying to navigate)...but maybe just some last wish he had to fulfill for his grandfather...before picking up right where he left off last time.

This time, however...I'd be happy if he just walked in. He wouldn't have to talk to me, he wouldn't even have to look at me...I just wanted to see him. But that's just my selfishness thinking again...and of course it wasn't @robby-l-keene this time, instead it was Anoush. He was quickly escorting one of the new eager employees away from the doorway. I hadn't really thought about it until then, but whenever I had heard anyone talking to the customers about the bonsais...it was him. He didn't even say anything...just a tight little smile and nod, and then they were gone. As the sounds echoed down the hallway, I heard the employee asking him when she'd be able to hand out the trees, but I never did hear his answer.

Part of getting back to living my life, after everything that had been going on, was to gain some stability...again...and actually keep it. Work was rather easy going at the moment, the kids were...well, they were a work in progress--being a single mother was another tight rope I was still trying to learn. If I was honest with myself, my mind was dumb enough to wander--once or twice--and think about what Lucille would have had to say...strictly as a single mother's point of view and not a mother-in-law's, of course...but she was never strictly a one topic type of person and if you can imagine the tangents she would go off on...then that's exactly where she went, well at least in my mind she did.

So, that left friends. I hadn't seen too much of @dr-ali-mills lately, that brunch and girl's movie night had been discussed and rescheduled on a few occasions...but after the online debacle, I was having almost no trouble at all sliding right back into my high school defenses. (Some big drama over a boy happens...you better get ready for the backlash from the popular girls.) I know it sounds crazy, I'm a grown woman...why am I so out of it? Did I ever really grow out of my insecurities? Or were they just lying dormant, until the shit hit the fan at the epic levels I had stopped preparing for...a long time ago?

Seeing Ali's number glaring at me from my phone, I remembered the last time we were together--the impromptu brunch after I got back from The Rattlesnake. After hearing the big explosive news about whatever Johnny and I were, she did admit that it wasn't exactly her favorite thing--even teasing that Teen Ali would've had a few choice ideas for my new hair style, if ever given the chance--but she did also say she'd be there for me...even if it hurt. Ali's been a good friend--a great one even, given the mess I've dumped on her, time and time again. A quick memory flashes across...the look on her face when I gave her the friendship bracelet for Christmas. We might not be BFFs, as they say--just yet--but I've come a long way since high school, and I wasn't going to ruin it by falling back on old habits. Time to grab my board and jump back on that half-pipe.

...and I missed it by THAT much. I didn't even get the chance to hit the call button.

Someone must have decided to give me a break and grant a few wishes--though that someone also had a weird sense of humor, because I got not only one--but two--bittersweet surprises. A text from Robby...he finally reached out...and he didn't even yell at me. (Yeah, well, just wait for it. Can't you just let me have this one thing?) Anyway, he sent up the signal, because he was worried about his dad. Which--in context--would've also made me happy, because that meant that they were talking to each other again, if I hadn't gotten the text right after the first surprise of the night...a drunken call from @everyonesfavoritegoldenboy.

I didn't know what the hell was going on, it might have been because he was only half making sense thru the slurred speech or because my ears started ringing when he said that he'd been in town and didn't tell me. My mind went on overdrive trying to figure what 'all this time' actually meant. Driving around the usual spots, memories flashing of the last time I went looking for him, worrying that 'you ought to have someone better' meant that I'd have to risk losing him...again!

Everything stopped when I saw him...slumped there at the bar. The worry and fear of what I'd be walking into...the irrational anger over his silence and disregard for my feelings, making decisions without giving me a say in any of it...(Why would he? You're not exclusive...you're not even...I don't know what you'd call what you are. I said it was irrational, didn't I?)...but all went stand still when I saw his face. For weeks, I had only heard his voice a few times...but nothing of his living, breathing face. (Oh god, you're sounding like a teenager. Right?! Next thing you know, I'll be writing his name on my binder...I didn't even do that when I was a teenager!)

Seeing him there, with his guys around him, he was a mess...but I just wanted to hold him and make him feel better. (This all really kind of started that way anyway...when you think about it.) The whole rest of the night was, well...being so close to him after so long--it was intoxicating...and I'm not talking about the alcohol...okay, maybe some of it was the alcohol. Let's just say I'm very impressed with myself, that things didn't go the way they may have in my younger days, and I was able to go back home with a mostly clear conscience. Emphasis on the mostly.

After getting Johnny home from the bar, seeing those eyes of his watch me and feeling his warm skin and his lips tease me...having to put a stop to it before things got out of hand--only to strip him down for bed and hop in next to him...(Hey, I know he was drunk off his ass and didn't think I was really me, but I missed him so much and he was so hurt and broken...it was breaking my heart...but nothing happened, I swear, I put my arm around him and we just fell asleep. Yup...you definitely sound like a teenager.)...going back home to an empty bed, felt cold and lonely. In fact, the last time it felt THAT cold and lonely...was the morning after I came back from The Rattlesnake.

It didn't take too long before I made my way back there...but it was just a lunch break check in. (Sure...) Okay, there was a little fun teasing in between cooking up and eating a quick meal. (Which reminds me, I have to take that man shopping and teach him how to cook, or at least how I cook. Might even break down and make some chicken salad from scratch next time.) Then I find out that the reason behind the night at the bar was another near knock-down drag-out with Robby. I think I figured as much, given his timing. Both Lawrence boys contacting me on the same night--after nothing for days. Something went down.

Long story--already too long to be--short, Robby's mother @iamtheladyshannon was in a facility. There was a bunch of drama to go with it (as there always is when those nightmare houses are concerned), but the main problem at the moment was the subject of the constant and ongoing payment. Let's just say, father and son were at odds as how to go about it. I didn't and still don't know the whole story, but I had a laundry list of reasons why I had to do something to help anyway.

Once I was off the phone with @drlivingstoneipresume, awaiting another stomach churning encounter with yet more hospital paperwork...(Don't forget the next trip down memory lane. Shut up.)...it was just Johnny and me again. He had snuggled next to me on the couch, after his talk with @nursejoylove at the door. His hand had found mine, while I was still talking, and it had allowed me to calm down a bit. Having been able to get through the call with a relative coolness, and put something in motion that would help someone in need and by extension ease two people that I care about deeply...I felt a weight had lifted, at least for the time being. Lying back with his head on my shoulder and our fingers comfortably entangled, felt...nice. I went over the details with him, even though he probably heard most of it--I think running through it again, just helped both of us let it sink in...something was being done, we just had to wait.

He got quiet for a moment...'Baby...I don't want to cut this short...But Diaz... he's...'

I knew he'd be going to see @therunawaystudent eventually, if he hadn't already. One reason why I didn't let what bits and parts I overheard of their own conversation, get to me. (It did sound a bit familiar... No! I'm not going to start picking apart every interaction with every woman I see him with...this isn't high school and I'm not the jealous girlfriend. Yeah, and how well did that work for you with your own husband? No...shut up...this isn't about me, this about the boys...don't try and ruin this moment for me.)

Trying not to think about the renewed implications from my visit this weekend--too hard--I smiled warmly...you should have seen the look on his face. 'You mean you knew too? Have I lived in a cave??'

I couldn't help the thought that shot in my mind... "Oh, I don't know, seen any bats lately?" I was able to keep a straight face, until his finger bopped me on the nose. He shook his head trying not to smile. The light mood didn't last too long, though...my back to him as I gathered my things, trying to get the words out. That I was mere feet away from his door, when I brought @chickskickasstoo over to visit Miguel, not even a week ago. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye, it was already a long day with too many emotions running around to deal with that too.

He walked me back to my car and I kissed him goodbye with a promising wink for a future trip. God, I love that smirk! It was just what I needed to finish the work day.

#cobra kai rp #amanda #robby #ali #johnny #I'm a mess...as always #but he's here...it wasn't a dream #the long road ahead with the lawrence boys is starting to look better #journal again

[aestheticvoyage2019]

Day 185: Thursday July 4, 2019 - “Natchez Down The Road”

The Mississippi Road Trip was one of my intentions for the year, and so I had some special enthusiasm running those two lane roads across Louisiana today to get there for this year’s Freedom Ramble. You see, Ive rambled all 50 states the last 8 years, but the short tag in ole Miss always felt a bit like a cheat; of all 50, Id spent the least time in this state.  And so, I knew Id need to get back and really explore it.  Today was the day - after some car-sleep in Jasper, TX, I worked my way away across the Bayou, stopping only for a Po Boy and a couple drive-thru Daquiris before crossing the big river at Natchez.  I was definitely in the south.  The radio was filled with countless christian radio and talk radio stations, including one dedicated to succession this independence day.  I rolled through towns like Leesville, Alexandria, and Ferriday.  When I crossed into Louisiana on some back road two-ly, the sign was in the Confederate Memorial Park.    A different flavor for reflection this 4th of July.

I hadnt planned to stop in Natchez.  Funny how the “towns” that mean a lot to me at the end of the year are often ones that I never planned to visit. Life out on the road - open to whatever comes with years of experience teaching that the blue highway, always provides.  

As I crossed the Mississippi River, wide and proud, I noticed what looked like a hotel up on a bluff on the Mississippi side.  I figured thered be a good picture of the river from up there....which there was.  But once there, I noticed an active outdoor pool, and needing a reset and refresh, I put on my suit and went and enjoyed that with some of the locals. A pretty southern Belle gave me intel to get into town and see the Natchez “under the hill” before skipping town- having figured out that I wasnt actually a guest there, but just a passer-through.  This advice, proved helpful.  After inspecting the Natchez National Monument (an old plantation) and Forks On The Road (a monument to the second biggest slave trade locale in the South where they had the old chains locked in cement in time for all to ponder), I rolled down the rickety road to find the old Saloon under the city.   This is the old town.  I wondered if the Saloon was here when the Union soldiers rolled up here 150 years ago - could have been!  My plan was to get a drink and a quick lunch and run on up the road towards Jackson before dark....  what resulted at this old saloon would see me instead making community, being recruited to a motorcycle club, and watchng this year’s fireworks lifted off from a barge on the river right in front of me.  Could I have really beat that?  Of course not.  Welcome to Mississippi.  I hadnt explored it, and Id barely made it across the river before getting stuck here for a day!  Heres how it happened:

I walked in and found the old southern cowboy bartender and ordered a bourbon on the rocks....asked about the lunch situation, he said “its all in the back, help your self and enjoy” - really?!  Better make it a double bourbon then!  In the back I found pulled pork sandwiches, burnt ends, southern sides, all complimentary.  Really!  This was a bar for regulars.  Today I was one.   I made my way back to the bar after chastising a racist, and made friends with a guy named Stewart who had prepped my food - go figure!  He became my buddy for the next 6 hours.   As I finished my bourbon, served in a styrofoam cup, I asked what it would take to get it in a real glass -  the answer was a commitment that I planned to stick around for awhile.  When I said with a big smile, that I would stay for the fireworks that evening, my old cowboy served me a whole pintful of Makers.  The cost?  $7.  I even kept the glass.   Complimentary BBQ, a pint of whiskey, community, and front-row fireworks?  Mississippi was spoiling me. I was in Ramblers Heaven.

Never planned to stop in Natchez, and instead I spent the whole day here on the 4th of July.  This is how I pledge allegiance.  The spirit of independence - not totally tied to an idea or a place or a plan.  Open roads, open heart, open itinerary, in this great country - the land of the free.  We’re all one under Ole Glory, especially today.  From Michigan, to Arizona, to Mississippi.  I thought that was pretty special - that I found my place today- with good folk, good drink, and good spirit.  We were probably all as different as they could imagine, but it didnt matter, and we didnt talk about it.  Even the Punishers of Louisiana invited me to join up if I ever found myself on two wheels down their way, while I smoked a stogie and listened to them pop off and show off.  Does it get more American than that?   As the fireworks lit off, they blared God’s Country which felt like a totally bad ass soundtrack.  Stewart and I hugged big as I left, and I told the old drunk man that Id see him in another life maybe, and he chuckled and said something that sounded like “if youre lucky” and as I walked up the cobblestones, i bobbed my head in affirmation, that I was, indeed...and wondered about the way the world works like that.

Drove that night up the Natchez Chase Parkway, rolled through Jackson, and continued all the way to Oxford before cashing in.   Got myself North so that I could spend tomorrow working my way back.  Covering miles of new track in this new land.  Wandering for awhile.  The artful therapy of my yellow-stripe-d compadre.

Song: Blake Shelton - Gods Country

Quote:  “...I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire...I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.” ― William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

[supersoldierslover]

Hard Feelings Part 5

Summary:  (Modern Au) After the death of your only living relative, you find yourself lost in life and your feelings. To make things worse, you have to deal with Steve Rogers someone from your past that is more present in your life now than ever.

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Words: 1823

Warnings:  Flashbacks in italic, talks about sex and people being dumb

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Part 4

The 15 minutes ride to the restaurant until Steve’s apartment is quiet, very quiet. You couldn’t stop thinking about your encounter with Pierce and what he might want. Once your grandmother said, never trust a man that thinks he is better than everyone else.

And if this is not the best way to describe Pierce you don���t know what it is.

Steve was also quiet, and even a little bit nervous. You could see by the way he was tapping on the wheel of the car and for the vain, that was popping out of his neck.

He parks in front of his building, it's being so long since you been. For a brief moment you feel that you are in a trip to memory lane, you have been in his front door so many times but you never feel as anxious as you right now.

His place didn’t change a bit; he still has the same white walls in his living room, with the same black couch and that blue rug that you hate it.

“Do you want anything, maybe some water or a coffee?” He asks running his finger thru his hair, he keeps walking around the living room making you nervous. You walk in his direction, holding his head in your hands making him stop “I just want to talk, Stevie, ok?”

He nods, picking your hand and leading you to the couch “I don’t even know how to begin; I don’t want you to hate me and after I tell you everything you will.” He says in a small voice, afraid of what you are going to think about him after he tells you the whole truth.

Your hand caresses his cheek, you could never hate him, you tried before and it was useless.

“Steve look at me.” You say biting your lip, when his big blue eyes meet yours you feel like you could cry. They look so sad “I will never hate you… I can’t. Even when you broke my heart, I couldn’t hate you. I just need to understand things, what happened between us… what you feel for me. The uncertainty is killing me.”

You say sincere, he hands go to your neck and he kisses your forehead sweetly. When you two were together he used to this all the time. When you were nervous and need it some comfort or when he was the one needing reassurance.

“I’m so sorry; I never wanted to make you suffer. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, but I ended up breaking your heart.” He says looking down and running his hands thru his hair.

“So, do you feel sorry for me? Are you doing all this out of pity?” You ask feeling your heartbreak inside of your chest. He looks at you surprised with your reaction “No, of course not. I love you, I’m being in love with you since the first we kissed almost one year ago.”

You hide your face between your hands, letting a few tears fall. All this time you thought that he was sick of you and all your baggage no, he loves you.

“That doesn’t make any sense, why didn’t you ever said anything to me? We spend five months together, I thought that we were friends with benefits or fuck buddies.” You say getting up from the couch, you feel like you can’t breathe.

You know that you have strong feelings for, Steve. But do you love him? You felt so lost without him because you were in love with him? For how long do you have these feelings? You have so many questions that you don’t have the answers for.

You know the exact moment that you knew that you need it him in your life. But this was love?

You feel a pair of lips on your naked back, kissing every inch of skin “Do you know what time is it?” Steve asks, making you turn around to look at him “Time to go to bed?” You ask hopeful, you feel exhausted and all you want is to sleep for four days in a row.

“Very close but no. It’s midnight; it is your birthday you are officially…” Before he can say your age out loud, you pull him to a kiss “You never say a lady’s age out loud, Rogers. Your mom never thought you anything?”

“Let me make it up to you, birthday girl.” You expect him to start to kiss your neck or to go down on you but no he gets of you and picks something on his nightstand. He sits by your side giving a small blue box “Steve, you didn’t have to.”

You open the box, seeing a beautiful golden bracelet “It is gorgeous, thank you.” You say putting the bracelet on “I am so glad that you liked, I spend a lot of hours picking it for you.” He says kissing your shoulder.

He lays on the bed, pulling you to his chest. You feel his hands on your hair, brushing lightly making you very relaxed “What is on your mind?” He asks asking you away from your thoughts “It’s not exactly a good subject for a pillow talk.” You say kissing his chest.

“Please, tell me.” He begs and you can’t say no to him “About my parents if they would be proud of the person that I became.” You say hiding your face in the crock of his neck “I am sure they would, you are amazing, sweet and caring. Tell me a little about them.’

“There is nothing to tell you, they died when I was three in a car accident. I know they went out a date to celebrate their 4 year anniversary, my father was the one driving and I was at the manor with, Nana.” You say simply, you feel his fingers tracing patterns on your naked back.

“I look a lot like my mom, the same hair color, eyes but I do have my father smile for what I can see in the pictures.” You say looking at him, kissing his lips “I’m sorry, I wish there was something I could do.”

You shrug “It’s not your fault; I just need you to hold me for now.”

“I didn’t want to pressure you to be in a relationship that you weren’t ready or that you didn’t want to be in. Since college I saw you breaking up guys when things got serious, I didn’t want us to end because of me.”

You feel angry, Steve was not like the other guys that you dated in the past, no one of them made you feel like him. He made you feel safe, protected and happy. You hate that even for a second he compared himself to them.

You come back to the couch sitting by his side, your fingers gently trace patterns in his thigh” If you love me, why did you break up with me? What I did that was so wrong? Because I am sorry.” You say resting your head on his shoulder

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He says holding your chin, making you look at him “Around 7 months ago, Pierce called me in his office, I thought he wanted to about expend his department budget or something like that… he didn’t.”

He takes a deep breath, putting his hand over yours “He said that he knew that we were together, I remember how he laughed and said that he had connections inside the company that I could never imagine…. I should end things with you or he would fire me and all my friends and they would never work again.”

You look at him perplexed; you knew that Pierce was an awful person, a power-hungry man. But even this was too much, he wanted to ruin your happiness just because he could do it? “Of course at first I didn’t believe in him, but then a few friends of mine were fired of the financial department…”

“So you did what he wanted.” You complete the sentence for him, you want to be mad at Steve, ask how could he do what that you but in the end you understand. Steve was with a heart of gold, he would always put each other happiness instead of his.

“Yeah, it broke my heart to do this to you, this last 7 months without you were hell. I could see how hurt you were and I all I wanted to do was to have you in my arms again but I couldn’t.” You clean a few tears out of your face, making him a look at you.

“When Nana died, I knew that Wanda was in Brazil and Bucky was on the other side of the planet working… I couldn’t let you go thru all this alone… I didn’t care about the consequences, I just wanted to make things right if you. I understand if you can forgive me or you never want to see me again but I am glad that you at least know the truth.”

“Steve, it is ok. I don’t forgive you because I don’t think there is something to forgive. You did what you thought was right, it hurts of course and I wish you had talked to me before doing anything but… I understand.”

You say sincere, you don’t know if you two can go back the way things were or if you two can even be together as a couple but you don’t feel hurt anymore “But we do need to solve our, Pierce problem.”

You explain your conversation with, Pierce during lunch. How creepy out you felt when he touched you and how you hate to admit that you are afraid of him.  When you finish, you feel emotionally exhausted.

“I know that we need to do something and trust me I am working on it but I think we need to rest before doing anything else.” Steve says getting up from the couch “I agree, I am going home to let you rest.” You say getting up and going to the door.

“Stay, please.” He pleads holding your hand “I don’t know, Steve…  I feel really confused right now.” You don’t want to do anything that you regret, including having sex with the man that you are not 100 percent sure about your feelings “I am not asking for anything other than a nap, you take the bed and I stay in the sofa. I just don’t want to be alone.”

He is being so sincere that you know that you can’t say no to him “Ok, but we share the bed. Your couch is tiny and you are huge man.” He laughs, leading you to his room “Are you sure? I don’t mind sleep on the couch.”

“If I am going to sleep here, I want to have you by my side.”

Part 6

The tags for this are still open, so if you want to be tagged just let me know.  And next week is Christmas, do you guys prefer this to be posted on Saturday instead of Sunday? Or Sunday it’s good? Please let me know as well. Please leave feedback, because i’m in love with this series and i want to know what you guys are thinking about it.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

[chevygxrl-blog]

Episode One - Who is Janessa Milliard?

I've realized recently that I hide so much of myself from the world and that's probably why the counseling isn't working as well as it should. I don't know if it's because I'm worried about judgement and people taking their distance from me or if it's just because I feel like it's unnecessary details of my life that people don't really need to know. I didn't ask to turn into this new persona but I guess if this is what my life is now, I might as well share who exactly Janessa Blaine Milliard is through the details that I am willing to share.

This is the part where I start on my past, right? Well okay. I wasn't always Janessa Milliard but until it is time for you to know who I was originally, this is all you will know me as. I was born in the country side of LaGrange, Georgia. Nothing fancy but a definite southern town full of sweet southern folks. My father was Chuck and my mother was Avery, last name again not an important detail to share. See what I mean? I hide so much from you and expect for my problems to go away just like that. But I guess if it helps bring my story together.. We'll just say our last name was Martin.

So here we are, the happy Martin family that people knew of us as on the outside. Close the curtains and we were the most distraught family in the whole town. My father was gone on missions as Chief of a local Motorcycle Gang called the Raptors and has been for many years, my mother the complete opposite. Surrounding areas knew her as the "lot lizard" because she'd give up anything for her only companion, drugs. When I turned 5 years of age, I started seeing less and less of them both. My father gone for weeks, even months and my mother always came stumbling in the door late with her new catch of the night. It was a very lonely life for a young girl and it was one that I didn't recommend for anyone and still wouldn't to this day.

The routine stayed the same until I hit late middle school, early high school. I was 13 years of age when my life changed for the worst. Every guy that my mother brought home were tired of her same antics and how loose and bruised her body had been ridden from the drugs and past partners. By this time, my own body had been developing and my inner beauty decided to flourish at it's best. I could even say that I was a gorgeous, young girl. Full of imagination and so much pure innocence until the night that that was taken from me. I should probably insert a trigger warning here but if you think you can handle it, then keep going.

This one night in particular is probably what haunts me to this day and if 13-year old Janessa knew about it then, she would've told you how much demons do exist in the world. Mom came home strung out like she usually did, the only difference being there were three men instead of the usual one. They sat around the living area, drinking and smoking and cutting up while they teased around with my mother. It was my fault,  I knew better than to leave my room around the times that she came home. I desperately needed a drink of water and couldn't wait through the thumping and bumping to happen in order to get it. So I headed down the short set of stairs and into the kitchen, trying my best to keep the worn steps from squeaking beneath my small feet. The noise caught attention of one of the men once I reached the kitchen and looked for a clean cup. Of course, it's hard to keep the sound of running water silent enough to make a clean break for it.

One of the men got up from the couch and went to follow the sound. I made a quick and "light as a feather" break towards my bedroom once I heard some of the loud speaking halt, only to be grabbed by the arm and quickly turned around. The only memory I have of this person now is how rugged and dirty they looked because I try not to remember their faces just in case I have another one of my nightmares. He asked where I was going and I stayed quiet with a hard swallow, scared for my life. He smirked at me, the look of evil flushed that grin of his and his eyes looked like they could've turned into flames. He called his buddies from downstairs and told them to leave the hag alone, they liked this new kitten better. That kitten... Being me. I won't go into detail of what happened after this moment but I'm sure you can picture that exact moment of terror. My innocence was then taken from me before I could even enjoy the idea of it and at that point, I hated being me.

This became my life for the next few years. Of course it was the one long period of time that my father never made it home earlier to check on us, or me for that instance. In my silent cries for help, all I could think of was "Daddy, come find me". It wasn't until I was 16-years of age that he was able to return home from a huge war ordeal out East and it couldn't have been the best timing ever. I had just walked into the door from home, the men sitting on the porch like they waited for me to get off of the bus. I was then pushed down over the kitchen table right when my dad walked in. My tears changed from sorrowful to relieved. Him and a few more of the men from the gang tore the thugs apart like they were nothing and my mother went ballistic. The two fought while the men helped pack my bags and that was possibly the last that I had ever seen or heard from my poor excuse of a mother.

The Raptors were now my new family and protection and love is all that I had ever earned from them. The next few years included a lot of survival training to hold up my own and learning to ride and manage my own bike. I was promoted into being the Raptor Princess, under my father's reign because biker royalty existed nowadays. This is where I coined the nickname, Phoenix. Because it was believed that once destroyed, they rose from the ashes and became something new and better. I couldn't say that that didn't fit me the most in my current situation. I learned how to be a warrior, a fighter, and a healer in my times of need. But apparently the moving around from city to town wasn't enough for the motorcycle club.

I was maybe 24-years old by the time my life had another turning point and I was having to be sent up to the Northern territory. A messenger had came down to report no sightings of enemy gangs in the area, at least not yet. But let me back up and explain before you ask if there are just none of them there. In between the time of my training, we found out that the men that abused me at my young age were involved in gang activity as well. That should be enough to tell you the rest so let's fast back forward. This messenger was letting us know there were no sworn enemies of THAT kind, if that makes more sense. I was now asked to leave the war room while the men discussed the new plans. A few hours had passed of walking back and forth and trying to peep as much info as I could and they all finally came out. My father sat the whole clubhouse down for a chat and this is when my move to New York became to exist. Call it a Witness Protection pact through Raptor supervision. I was made to change my name, my personality, everything along with the move. I was no longer going to be referred to by my birth name but by Janessa Milliard, still sometimes coined as Phoenix. Everything I had been through and once knew were about to be deleted from history like it never even happened. But in my mind, I knew otherwise.

Here I am now, 26-years old and living the dream. I am now in a small studio apartment in Manhattan right next to my father's mechanic shop, that was well known as Rev's Bike Shop. Along with my many new trades and qualities,  I was taught a lot about mechanic work so this worked out perfectly for me. I became someone who younger me wanted to be, wild and free and full of life and love. I found enjoyment in visiting the local nightlife scene and I have met many important people who I never see leaving. Even the person that was made to wait for me when I arrived became my closest friend, mostly because they were the only ones who knew my secrets. I've learned to love and love hard but eventually learned that it wasn't for me so I have chosen this free spirit lifestyle carefully. I was diagnosed with PTSD after a few months of arriving and now I even attend group counseling once a week. So much for a lot of that fun but at least I was able to be assigned a fur companion to accompany my outbreaks. Make sure if you see Sir William Dash, the sweetest Golden Retriever out there, to give him a wave. More than likely he'll be attached to my hip when I'm not out having a drink or two. This was the new me. This was Janessa Blaine Milliard, new and reinvented.

I hope my trip down memory lane kept you interested. I was assigned a dumb journal to keep up with my moments but that wasn't enough to get things off of my chest. I plan on doing more of these, just a little way to see how my day-to-days go and even travel back into the past through my favorite and not so favorite memories. Keep your eyes open for my "Thru My Eyes #2" coming soon.

#mymind