#and worse because that's not something someone can teach you yk?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vennilavee · 2 years

Note

Heyaaa can i request 100 + getou since yk it's his bday 😋😋😋 i need flufffff~

a/n: this isn't very fluffy ksdfskdlfj it's mostly hurt/comfort

prompt: "it's always been you'' kisses w/ geto

For someone who’s been your coworker for years now, Geto Suguru feels like a stranger. Maybe it’s even worse because before you were coworkers, you were students in the same class at Jujutsu Technical School.

Maybe you wished you were a little more than students.

You’d seen him grow into his technique while both him and Gojo Satoru left the rest of you in the dust. Being a wallflower in their presence suited you just fine- you had no desire to get involved in their antics. You were here to learn how to exorcize curses after all.

But Geto saw you, and your wish to remain a wallflower was quickly just a whisper. You were his, your heart reflected in his shiny gaze. Until the smoke of his cigarettes and curses becomes all you see. In his descent into madness, you lose yourself and you lose him.

In the end, it’s Gojo who manages to pull him back from his own destruction.

In hindsight, he might have been your first real love. Longing glances of your teenage years somehow still haunt you in the same hallways that carry the memories of your youth. But it doesn’t matter now, not anymore.

It took nearly all of the jujutsu political capital that Gojo had to keep the higher-ups from executing Geto and you refuse to be a reminder of the time when he was so deeply lost. So you keep your distance despite Geto now also being a teacher at Jujutsu Technical School. You allow yourself to watch him, wondering how he has changed in the last few years and not granting yourself the luxury of getting to know him again.

You stick to the shadows, fully unaware of the broken heart written all over the planes of Geto’s face whenever he chances a glance in your direction.

Geto remembers everything, his memories a sticky reminder of when he had plunged so deeply into madness that his best friend had to pull him back. It’s a blessing and a curse to remember everything.

It’s no wonder he can’t sleep. The image of his parents’ pleading eyes is seared into his brain.

Perhaps death would be easier than this.

It’s interesting how the dynamic from their youth has switched, with Gojo now being Geto’s moral compass. He doesn’t know how long he’ll repent for his almost actions for, but he knows that no amount of time would be enough.

Everyday is a reminder that he’s lucky to exist, another reminder that he owes Gojo his life and the freedom that comes with it. Gojo does not breathe a single word to him about it. He’s only glad to have his other half by his side, even if his other half is perhaps broken in a thousand different ways.

Maybe he is, too. The broken edges of each soul somehow still fit each other, albeit clumsily.

But even after all these years, even after he had left Jujutsu Technical School, he still remembers you. You and your attempts to reel him back, to get him to admit that something was wrong. When he didn’t want to and when nobody else really knew how to get through to him.

You tried, but you were all still just kids with an unbearably burdensome weight on your shoulders.

Maybe it explains why your eyes linger curiously on him when you hear him sometimes gagging after teaching classes to the first years. The taste of curses still lingers bitterly on his tongue, seeping down his throat. Geto thinks that the taste will remain for the rest of his lifetime. It’s part of the reason he’s now developed a sweet tooth to rival Gojo’s.

Anything to get rid of that bitter, dead taste of ash in his mouth.

You’d cautiously avoided the Jujutsu world for a few years, successfully exiling yourself to the snowy mountains. To be left alone. It’s a privilege that you are able to leave- a privilege that you are very well aware of.

It was too much sometimes. You just needed a few days, or so you had thought. A few days turned into months, and soon enough, you were on the cusp of your 25th birthday when you had noticed the uptick in curses in the area.

And then, without a doubt in your mind, it was time to get back to work.

In all that time, you never really stopped thinking about Geto. Nobody was around to judge your thoughts but you were glad that Gojo had gotten to him when he did. While he was saved in the physical sense, you knew that his mind, body and soul were at war with each other. He has the same face, the same strand of dark hair over his forehead, but you don’t know him. Not anymore.

You think about the almost kisses you had almost shared. The one where he was leaving the high school and you were pleading with him to stay. All you had gotten in return was a sad smile.

Geto had pressed his forehead to yours. His lips had hovered over yours, the sweetness of his breath on your skin, but he had pulled away to kiss your forehead instead. He promised you that you’d understand someday, and he left you.

You didn’t though, and you still don’t. Most of all, you don’t understand why your heart still beats for him.

“It’s been a long time since he’s been back,” Shoko says, not unkindly. You’re perched up on one of the tables in her lab during a break in between your classes.

“I’m well aware,” you reply stubbornly, picking at your nails. You’re unbothered (or at least that’s the aura you want to give off).

“You’re the same as when we were in school,” Shoko teases, “Stubborn as hell-”

“I don’t have anything to say to Geto Suguru,” you say, squaring your shoulders. It’s a lie, and you both know it. Even the corpse on Shoko’s autopsy table knows it, too.

“He’d appreciate it, you know,” Shoko says softly, turning her head to look at you, “He’s a bit lost. In a different way.”

“I know,” you sigh as your shoulders drop, “I know.”

His name feels like roses blooming on your tongue, thorns digging into your gums and metal pulsing around your teeth. And yet, his name belongs on your tongue. No matter the courage it takes for you to speak it.

Geto looks surprised when you call his name, his eyes wide and lips parted at the source of the sound. You take a few steps closer to him, allowing yourself to be caught in his orbit.

Dark circles line his under eyes and his face is a little gaunt. He’s clearly struggling.

“Hi,” you muse, standing squarely in front of him.

Geto dares to release a breath in your presence.

“Hi,” he murmurs.

“Let’s go eat breakfast,” you suggest, “You look like you could use something sweet.”

Geto can still see remnants of the shy girl from high school when he sits across from you with a plate full of pancakes in front of him. You’re sharper, smarter, stronger… but still a little shy (and of course, Gojo still teases you when you get easily flustered).

You’re prettier, too.

You stuff your face to avoid meeting his eyes as warmth blooms in your cheeks. You feel out of your element like a fish out of the water, but when you raise your head to meet his eyes… It feels so familiar.

“How…are you?” Geto cringes at his question but you laugh. He smiles at you (and you think maybe, for a moment, that his smile is still the same).

“That’s a loaded question. Too heavy of a question for pancakes, Suguru,” you say lightly, “Look at all that syrup. Satoru would be proud.”

You pause for a moment to choose your words carefully with a piercing gaze. “And… I am, too.”

Geto’s cheeks are rosy and his smile small but blinding.

In the coming months, you take your time in getting to know Geto once again. Sometimes you feel as if he’s someone new and sometimes you feel like he’s the same boy who used to pinch your arm to get your attention (by the encouragement of Gojo).

He’s still the same boy who looks at you with roses in his eyes.

Some of the students have even noticed your developing friendship- Nobara and Yuuji barging into your office demanding to know whether you and Geto were in love, as Gojo had not so subtly let slip to them. You roll your eyes but neither confirm nor deny the accusation.

You try your best to remain stern with them and tell them to get to class and to not listen to everything that comes out of Gojo’s mouth.

Today, you’re at your desk engrossed in paperwork on the last mission you went on to exorcize a grade two curse. You rub your face tiredly, but you’re determined to finish this damned report if it’s the last thing you do.

You push the face of the distorted, bleeding curse from your mind and focus on the details. Your technique and each and every step you took. Meticulous was your middle name (along with Nanami Kento’s middle name, and you’d surely ask him to review your report before submitting it. As you did quite often after a difficult job).

“Hi,” a voice comes from the doorway to your office and you jump at the sudden sound, “Sorry. It’s just me”

Geto shrugs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey,” you murmur, giving him a smile, “Wanna do our reports together?”

“I can think of nothing better,” Geto replies, pulling out a box from behind his back, “I brought fruit.”

“I’m done,” you groan, pulling your eyes from the stack of paperwork that was now completed.

“Me too, as of thirty minutes ago-”

“Show-off,” you tease, pulling a smile from him.

“At least my reports are done,” Geto replies, packing his things up. He notices a bit of strawberry juice still at the corner of your mouth and wonders if he should do something about it.

“That’s true. Can’t say the same for all of the teachers at this school,” you say, slinging your backpack over your shoulders. Geto hums and opens the door for you, not minding that your fingers brush as you walk shoulder to shoulder. Eventually, you slip your hand into his as if it’s the easiest thing to do, as if his entire heart isn’t held in your nimble fingers.

Geto ignores his phone screen lighting up with dozens of texts from Gojo (he assumes Gojo is blowing up your phone, too). It’s easy for him to ignore when he watches you rant about the show that you’ve chosen to watch with him. He hears you speaking, your voice strong and clear and your glossy lips moving, but he doesn’t hear a word that you say.

“Are you even listening, Suguru-”

“I missed you,” he interrupts you. You turn your head to ask him what he means, but your voice dies in your throat. Anguish is painted on his pretty face, the same anguish that you remember from when he left you alone all those years ago.

Your heart claws its way up your throat.

“I never apologized, not to you,” Geto continues, “I…I’m sorry. For-”

“I know,” you mumble, your throat feeling dry, “I know-”

“Let me apologize,” he says firmly and you nod, tears building in your eyes, “I’m sorry for…everything. For then and even for now. I left you behind, didn’t I?”

Geto cradles your face with his hand and you can’t stop a few tears from slipping out of your eyes. “You did,” you say hoarsely, “I thought I dreamed it up. But you did.”

“It was only ever you,” he promises softly, each word a kiss to your skin.

“No, it wasn’t. It’s not just about me,” you say sternly despite the tears on your cheeks.

“I know,” Geto murmurs, “I know.” He presses his soft lips to your chin, then your salty cheeks and then your forehead. Your soft sniffles have turned into quiet sobs before he brushes his lips over yours. He soothes you with his hands, curling around you and draping over you like a warm blanket.

He slips his tongue into your mouth, and Geto tastes like something sweet, something like coming home.

tags: @kentobean @aeanya

#geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #suguru x reader #jjk x reader #geto suguru

49 notes · View notes

dasomlimie · 3 years

Note

sorry about this but yk part 3 of baji boyfriend headcannon? let’s say. If you guys went swimming or to the beach, he lets you ride his motorcycle, his/your birthday. You guys are doing late night couple cooking? (i hc he is the worse cook to man kind, his food taste like how blob fish look.) -yata yata

⌗ BAJI AS YOUR BOYFRIEND PART 3 ꗃ

a/n ; more bf!Baji because anon said so, i'll put "keep reading" thingy tomorrow

ok when you mentioned about beach the first i think was how his hair would be wet and he would either look like a very handsome greek god or him having a seaweed on his head there's no in between

would be the type that throw you to the water no matter what like one time you were done applying sunscreen then suddenly you were in the water

if you go to the water park he would try to drag you to ride every ride then would swear he would protect you even though he was lowkey scared of it

his hair would be in a man bun

BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN BAJI IN MAN BUN

anyways in the end the both of you would be extremely tired bcs he would never let you rest

ok now move on to late night ride we all love this

he would text you at the most random time if you're up and ask you to come out

then you come out w your sleep wear [ idk about others but i wear either sweatpant or shorts depend on the weather and some random big ass tshirt to sleep so yeah lets say you wear some sweat and oversized t-shirts when meeting him rn ]

he was leaning on his bike [ imagine how hot he was ] with extra helmet and jacket you were half asleep [ maybe ] when he said something you couldn't make out it was something like "i can't sleep lets get a take out and sit somewhere"

what he mean by somewhere was abandoned building a.k.a your secret hang out w Baji, oh back to the earlier he would help you wear your helmet and pat the top of it [ once someone did this to me and i freshen up because i was shocked like its feel like being bonk like *bonk* then suddenly you wake up ]

then slip his jacket on you, he have a soft smile "sorry for waking you up" he whisper kissing the back of your hand before hopping on his bike you following after him

"hold on tights bubs dont wanna my baby to fall off" he said w a chuckled then heart start thumping loudly when you wrap your arm around his waist then rest your cheeks on his back like you never did that before

after getting your food and you freshen up, less sleepy the both of you would laugh your ass off about something then when you calm down Baji would place you into his lap wrapping his arm around you then his head resting either on your shoulder or on top of your head the both of you would having a heart to heart talk followed by how the both of you appreciate one another :( it was all so sweet i wanna cry

then suddenly you both laugh about stupid thing as if you both didn't give a heart to heart speeches

OHHHHH HE WOULD TRY AND TEACH YOU TO RIDE HIS BIKE LIKE AOBSXKSBIXBSKSBSKSB it would go to ways thought

either you know how to ride a bike, he would be impressed 🤩 and update into the gc of the toman boys

or no, then he would try and teach you how to ride the bike AOBSSKBSKSBSKS so cute it would also goes two way

one, you learn suprisingly quick

two, you keep failing w changing gear? break? huh idk anything about bike AOBSSKBSKSBSKS

of course if the both of you live together [ aged up ofc ] you would try to cook together and it was mainly you cooking and Baji was by your side his hands keep being slapped by you when he keep trying the food or eat the ingredients [ i remember when i was trying raw carrot and lowkey like it i keep eating the chopped one and end up being scolded by my mum because i ate almost all of it and being told to cut the carrot again ]

and then he would end up hugging you from behind and rest his head on your shoulder not wanting to let you go

and if he tried to cook i don't think he is a bad cooker— he is a bad cooker but hear me out first ok? hear me out

he only know how to make peyoung yakisoba the instant one ofc and its taste really good like woah

now move on to he cook another things, he would burn down the kitchen instead of burning down the food like you leave him for a minutes and suddenly the stove was on fire while the uncooked food look like it haven't been touched weird but ive done this before dont even ask how

ok but if he really put an effort and carefully try to cook he would be a pretty decently cook.... jk lol haha

his food would be either burnt or half cooked

sometimes would look ugly af then pretty af [ but it was raw thought ]

his mother lowkey know all about you!!!! because he always talk about you to his mother aodbskdbsi so cute

his mother like you very very much maybe not when you first met but suddenly you both clicked then boom bestfriend

he would be type of boyfriend who yell your name in no matter what places and wouldn't be ashamed how excited he was looking at you

now lets talk about jealousy...... Baji is a very fine guy we all can see it how he have his own fangirl [ most of it was older than him, and they were afraid of him tbh but there's always a bold one ]

if one of his fans try to flirt with him he would look at them then say this with a very serious voice that send you shiver down to your spine "i have girlfriend" then when he saw you he literally turn 180 and smile at you like a simp he is

like he smile "y/n!" he yelled jog toward you then hug you tightly to show that girl he have s/o

that type of guy that would protect you from you bully confronting them then suddenly they're on their knee apologizing to you <3

!%! © HNEULWH— i did not allow my work to be used or adapted in any form without my permission !#//

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #baji keisuke #baji headcanons #baji x reader #baji fluff #baji keisuke x reader #baji keisuke headcanon #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo manji gang

250 notes · View notes

domthedevil · 3 years

Note

okay so yk how a lot of people theorize that the brothers feel when others are feeling their sin? here's what i thought asmo feels when (afab)mc is horny and when they can't finish because they don't know how to so asmo kinda soft doms them and teaches them by touching them in all the right places until finally they cum properly. i'll just go back to horny jail-

This makes me want to do JOIs for the brothers. Talk each of them through an orgasm with some good ol dirty talk. 🤤

I also love this because sometimes we don’t know our bodies. And a patient and loving sexual partner can help you discover those things. Asmo is the perfect example of of an experienced but patient and understanding lover. (Best Boy Asmo is Best Boy)

Let ME Help You, MC

Warnings: Asmo x MC, masturbation, female anatomy, squirting

Asmo could feel it. Even during the dead of night. Someone was indulging in his sin. Something he could never ignore. And seeing how half of the pacts he had with humans was just down the hall, he let his curiosity get the best of him.

Sneaking down the hall, he followed the sweet aroma emitting from your room. You poor thing. Still suffering these moments alone. Asmo wished he could just come in, and show you how good his touch would be. But for now he pressed his ear to the door. Hoping your sweet voice would be loud enough for him to hear.

And thank Diavolo it was.

Your fingers were slowly circling your clit. Letting small waves of pleasure wash over you. Building that pleasant heat you loved. Thoughts of being eaten out, of being fingered, and pounded into made everything build quickly. The breathy moans you let slip made you embarrassed. Even alone it felt a little shameful masturbating like this. But you wanted to orgasm so badly. It’d been too long.

And having to see him everyday made it worse. You wanted so badly to kiss, to touch, to love and it drove you insane with desire. The sexual frustration was unbearable. But you couldn’t get yourself to come alone...

Hearing your lovely moans end, Asmo came back down from his own arousal. He was sure you hadn’t finished. The lust he felt from your room still hung heavy in the air. Maybe you needed a little help...

“MC? Are you awake?” Asmo’s coy voice made it through your heavy door.

Flustered from not being able to come and now having a sudden visitor, you looked for the underwear you carelessly through to the side.

“U-Uum! H-hold on.”

But he went ahead and walked in, already knowing you were going to hide. Your discomposed state made him stop in his tracks. He’d never seen you so erotic and honestly tasty. Desperately trying to cover yourself, you threw your blanket over your legs.

“I though you could use some help. Think you’d like that?” Asmo placed a knee next to you on the mattress. Of course he was going to wait for a full invitation before getting in bed with you.

“I-I don’t know what you mean...” he probably knew everything but you still tried to hide it.

“Well let me show you.”

Slipping behind you beneath the blankets, Asmo held your bare waist as he leaned you against his chest. A soft kiss grazing your ear made he warm all over. Maybe because you were already riled up, or maybe the master of lust had a magic touch after all.

Slowly Asmo’s hands slipped up your shirt, almost too lightly, he teased your erect nipples.

“You have to start slower...” his whisper was hot in your ear. “Make sure you explore your whole body.”

Your quiet moans made his heart pound. You were soft in all the right places. Your body deserves to be explored. To be treasured. To be pleased.

Asmo’s hands were soft, even when he began to pinch and pull at your peaks, you noticed how it rubbed your skin. Soon though, his hands left you to guide your own. Your surprised expression made Asmo giggle. Using your own fingers, he made you trace your already sensitive clit again.

“Do you feel a difference, love? See how much better that feels?”

“Y-yes. A-Asmo...” Your shaking voice was too cute to him.

Taking your other hand, he pressed two of your fingers inside you. It’s was a familiar touch, helping you relax slightly. But having him guide your hands made it so much more exciting.

“I’m getting...hotter.” With Asmo’s guidance you felt the tip of your fingers hit a sensitive spot inside you. “A-ah! That’s-!”

“Oh? Did you feel something really good?” His coy voice huffed in your ear.

“A spot I can’t...can’t reach...” between sweet moans and ragged breaths you began bucking your hips against your fingers.

“Now, now MC. Don’t rob me of the chance to help you. Let me use my fingers.”

Trading your fingers for his, you could feel the difference immediately. Those same soft fingers naturally found the very spot you had just found. Holding your hips down with his free hand, his other had began moving in and out of you roughly. Rougher than you could do alone. And each thrusting of his fingers made you hotter and hotter inside.

“A-Asmo. I feel like I’m close.”

“Already? You must really want it. You’ve been wanting to come for a long time now, havent you?”

You nodded, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He whispered little teases and praises as your hips jerked again. It only took a few more moments before you felt it run through you. An electric like feeling through you whole body made your walls clench tightly around his fingers. But it went even further. Lasting longer than you’d remembered, the orgasm made your legs shake, and you felt yourself squirt onto your sheets.

Your breathing was heavy and ragged as he pulled his fingers from within you. You watched him slowly move his fingers to his lips, licking and savoring the taste of your powerful orgasm.

“Mmmmm. I think we both got what we needed dear...”

#ns//fw #obey me fanfic #obey me smut #om! fanfic #om! smut #obey me asmodeus #obey me Asmo #om! asmodeus #obey me #om!#afab!reader

382 notes · View notes

zozophoenixxx · 3 years

Text

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 6

I love how the twins were basically the reason Hiccup figured out that Johan was the spy

NOOO THE WAY GOTHI WENT TO TRY AND STOP STOICK FROM THROWING AWAY HER MEDICINE AND THEN GOT THROWN OFF THE CLIFF WAS SO FUNNY [ep2]

Omg that fight between Hiccup and Stoick in ep2 was crazy whenever Stoick said "I'm talking to the expert in getting duped by Trader Johan" and THEN HICCUP WAS LIKE "but I was only duped for half as long as you were. So what does that make you?"

Awww the way both Toothless and Skull-crusher were trying to get them to talk

And also Astrid being the only one that wasn't caught by the Hunters right away, she's just superior bro

I love how both of them were right - Stoick was right to not trust the merchants and Hiccup was right about Johan's plan

Toothless is actually so strong like he's not only agile and clever, I mean he just flew up to the ballista and crashed against it and destroyed it without using his Plasma Blast 😎🤩

Mala and Dagur fighting over where the Dragon Eye lenses are gonna be hidden is hilarious. Mala is so calm I love it

I got chills when Atali was like "no, Hiccup, this is my island I will defend it"

I really want to know the origin of the Wingmaidens, like where did all these women come from? How come they're still there?

I love Minden and Snotlout's relationship, the way he tried to convince her to not give up AND SHE KISSED HIM!!!

Krogan's Singetail actually cares about him

Never gonna get over Adelaide Kane voicing Mala

Also Snotlout running when the dude had the razorwhip on him LIKE HE WAS LITERALLY FLYING AND HE WAS STILL RUNNING Y'ALL HAVE TO WATCH THAT SCENE I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT ITS IN EP3

Generations ago Fishlegs's ancestors were dragon hunters

The Loyal Order of Ingerman - decimated the Dramillion dragons, pushing them to the brink of extinction

Grump is amazing I love him

Dramillions - have both a lava blast and a magnesium blast. Omnivores. Still being hunted.

The Hunters were founded by Ingar Ingerman

The Dramillion trying to take the manacle off his tail🥺

And when Fishlegs threw his helmet and THEN THE HAND THING 😭🥺

I love the Dramillions they're so smart they learned how to get rid of the manacles by just looking at what Meatlug and Stormfly were doing 🥺

I just realized that the twins are 19 AND I FIND THAT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY HOW CAN THEY BE THAT OLD

I really wish we knew each of their birthdays like I wanna know which one's older and which one's younger

I feel like for some reason the twins would be the oldest ones then Fishlegs then Astrid then Snotlout and lastly Hiccup. Idk I'm still iffy on this

Most Thorstons don't make it to 19

I love the twins' relationship, they love each other so much that they would rather be alone and not form part of a clan than leave each other alone and the fact that other people know this too? Plsss like the only reason Gruffnut got them back into the fake induction trials was by telling them how bad it'd be for each other to not be part of a clan.

Titanwing Zippleback HOW DO THEY KNOW ITS A TITANWING IT LOOKS THE SAME AS THE OTHER ZIPPLEBACKS

"Ughh, what's the point of winning alone? Being a Thorston means nothing without him. We are one Thorston."

I love them and also technically Ruffnut won the induction trials.

THE LAST LENSE GOSH

Love how Fishlegs cares about global warming

I'm all Snotlout, Toothless and the Triple Stryke reacting to Mala and Dagur- I'm also Mala whenever someone tickles me I'LL KILL U

UGHHH I HATE HOW SNOTLOUT MADE HICCSTRID UNCOMFY FOR HAVING A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP

Astrid overthinking 🥺😭

"How would you like your yak cooked?" JSHDHHA

bro I love how both Tuff and Toothless noticed the betrothal necklace

"So want to deliver some scrap metal?" Hiccup baby? Why are you so oblivious?

At least he asked her if she was alright in the armorwing's island 😩

No but if I was Astrid I'd be pissed too, the dude saw a dragon eye lens from far way and didn't notice her betrothal necklace? 🙂😤

No I can't that scene was too harsh to watch, I mean I loved to see Hiccup noticing something was wrong with Astrid but then the way Astrid compared their relationship to Mala and Dagur's and then threw him the betrothal necklace... And the way he caught it too I can't- 😭😞😖😭😓🤧

Seeing the twins trying to capture Mala was hilarious JAHDHDHHSHA

I love how when they're fighting Astrid's still there for him whenever he's expected to have all the answers. She ignored her anger and went over to him and grabbed his hand and that single thing was what gave him confidence in a moment of panic 🥺

"I'm with you"

"I know"

That final Hiccstrid scene in Mi Amore Wing was just too perfect, we have Hiccup grabbing Astrid's hand to bring her outside and talk to her, the sunset in the background, every little thing Hiccup told her about being there for her and loving her with everything he had and that he should've noticed the necklace right away AND THEN THAT KISS WAS JUST AMAZING❗️❗️❗️ it was passionate and sweet and Astrid was blushing and then Fishlegs was all uncomfortable and Mala was like "okaaayyyyy😏" and Dagur like "alrighhtttt👌🏼" ig the only thing I didn't like is that Astrid didn't say I love you back 😭 but it's ok cause yk she does I just wished she had said it.

Baby razorwhips love the water

Tuffnut named the baby razorwhip that bonded with Ruffnut, Wingnutt

Top scenes of Ruff Transition ep7

Tuffnut throwing up in Ruffnut's mouth and Ruffnut throwing up in Wingnutt's mouth just do that he could be fed- seeing the windmaiden's reactions is the best lmao

Hiccup trying to teach Ruffnut how to fly (with his dragon flight suit) and then Ruffnut losing balance but Hiccup helping her regain it BUT we still get overprotective Tuffnut jumping off of Toothless to try and help but all he did was make things worse HIS SCREAM WAS HILARIOUS nonono and the way Toothless tried to help BUT AGAIN MADE THINGS WORSE 😩😮‍💨😂

Ruffnut finally figuring out how to connect with Wingnutt and fighting the dragon hunters and saving Atali was so badass and then Atali riding Barf 😭🤩

Hiccstrid kiss count (approximately) : 6😘

The way he slightly and carefully touches her face to reassure her that he'll be fine

The Singetail's only predator is the Skrill

The Berserkers used to use metal daggers to lure Skrills into traps. The dragon is drawn to it due to its electrical properties

VIGGO JUST DID THE HAND THING THING WITH THE SKRILL WTF

If I could have any dragon it'd be in this order

Skrill - it's so badass and powerful

Nightfury - it's badass, powerful, pretty, strong and fast

Deadly Nadder - it's extremely fast and agile, has multiple attacks and the spikes

Dramillion - has multiple attacks and is very smart

Just realized that ep8 is called Triple Cross because 1st Johan crossed Viggo 2nd Viggo fake crossed Hiccup and 3rd Viggo and Hiccup crossed Johan and Kogan

That episode was basically jusr to show Viggo's arc and the way he changed for the better and learned to respect dragons

That's why the Singetails wouldn't leave in ep9 whenever they were trying tp free the Deathsong- their eggs! They're in that island.

I can't with Hiccup and Astrid sitting together just chilling but with Astrid feeling guilty and Hiccup assuring her that he was also at fault 😭

I love Narrator/Author Snotlout! The titles of the chapters of his book remind me of the ones from Pjo

Stoick and Skullcrusher acting as 1 and being worried about each other 🥺 I love their relationship

Also the way Stoick bats off the shots from the Singetails with his axe just like Astrid. They're both truly warriors

No but Toothless asking for a head scratch from Gobber bc he's worried abt both Hiccup and Stoick🥺

The way Toothless tried to make Hiccup feel better- I mean the man blamed himself for putting Stoick in "his deathbed" it was just so awful seeing Hiccup in that state and the way everyone was trying to make him feel better but it was ultimately Astrid who managed to get through to him😭

I love it when they put scenes of the movies

I love how Astrid always knows what to say without lying

Looks like it's you and me, then.

Always... was that corny or-

Probably. Nice, though.

The way Astrid is so natural at being a leader and putting everyone on their places 🤩

That lil moment they had in ep12 where he holds her face and thanks her for everything and I just love them too much 😭

I love how Spitelout is so happy when he's beating ass, this dude literally goes "I'm sure I've had more fun than this. But at the moment, I can't remember when"

Have I mentioned I love the Dramillions before? I love them way too much they're amazing and the sound they make is so 😩 I love it

The Dramillion is a distant cousin of the Changewing which means the Titanwing Dramillion shares the de-cloaking ability with its subspecies.

Stormfly's spine clone was literally so badass, my girl was surrounded and she finished every single dragon flyer with it. Badass move. Wish we had seen it more throughout the series

It really pissed me off that Hiccup had to choose between getting Tuff, Ruff and Snotlout out of that sinking ship when he could've been following Krogan. Like ofc it was the right decision but that wouldn't have happened if the twins and Snotlout didn't follow Gruff into the ship :/

I love how strong Barf and Belch are! They literally carried the a Titanwing Dramillion on their own.

That scene when they figured out that the Titanwing Dramillion is not the King of Dragons but instead the last piece of the puzzle to get to the King of Dragons

When the Wingmaidens got to the battle it was amazing

Also the way Dagur was so proud that the King of Dragons was a Berserker and how Ruff was so excited to see Wingnutt and Snotlout to see Minden🥺

THEY REALIZED THAT BBYS AREN'T AFFECTED BY THE KING OF DRAGONS BC OF THE BABY RAZORWHIPS

that last Hiccstrid Scene where Hiccup is worried about Astrid's safety- I mean his face 🥺🥺🥺 and she told him that his dad would be proud and that she's proud too and when she was about to leave he held her back and kissed her 😭😭

Ik I said this before but I simp for Astrid as a leader, she's just so natural at it

Also I love how the King of Dragons has ice powers instead of fire

WAIT SO IS THE EGG THAT HICCUP FINDS IN THE FINALE THAT THEY GIVE TO VALKA IS THAT THE KING OF DRAGONS THAT VALKA CARES FOR IN HTTYD2?!!

Valka being friends with the Wingmaidens sits absoluteky right with me

no but the way Toothless hesitated when Hiccup told him to leave him and get the egg

I love how all the dragons arrived to fight the dragon flyers, it was just so poetical to me, the dragons finally getting to fight the people that hurt them 🤩

I FINISHED IT AND NOW I'M SAD!!! I loved the end tho and I'm glad we got to see Shattermaster at Dagur's wedding, also Astrid's outfit change- we love that. And them leaving the edge is just so sad bro 😭but I love how we got to see some "insight" ig u could call it on HTTYD2 😭 also seeing Snotlout and Fishlegs's love for Ruffnut start forming was hilarious

127 notes · View notes

tzawa-1y · 3 years

Text

had this sitting around a while, wanted to make it nice and detailed but also hopefully somewhat accurate, idk yesterday scared me lmao-

also quick bump to the original post, if you'd like to send someone in and haven't feel free to! might be slow over the next couple days again tho.

Anyways;

Hoshizawa's thoughts on @dantelionwishes Sato, Makoto, Miss Me, and Hibiki

read more because whoof

Sato:

very friendly around the teachers in general, and likes tagging by them a lot.

Sometimes ends up being the last to leave class cuz he's trying to make quick chat with him about whatever he was teaching, and ends up having to dash to the next class.

actually masks more & acts a lot more formal around him though, like there's a big difference between hoshiz with other students, and hoshiz with Sato.

(well it's there with any adult & Tsumi actually, but especially Sato)

That said, he really likes Sato, even if he comes off more threatening or stern or whatever compared to like Miss Me.

Would probably still just end up throwing him way off intimidating guy script; "well... now that you know this... do you have any other questions for me?" "are you my friend? :3"

definitely has to learn about non-quirk combat, as his quirk can relatively easily be subverted, and he's just very squishy LMAO-

Makoto:

She's definitely interesting??

Hoshizawa doesn't get a lot of their humor and references, and kinda feels uncomfortable with that...

but he does still like them! will probably go to Makoto to learn about video games.

Not too scared about Makoto going through his devices, all the worst in a boring way lmAO-

shitty pictures of just birds or whatever and cool plants or something on his phone.

probably not bestest besties, but he has fun talking with them.

he... finds the glowsticks really cool but. been thinking about it... idk if he can really. see them. that well.

but he does find their eyes neat! it's very helpful if he goes into her dorm and he can actually see them cuz they're glowing a lil lmao--

and of course, they're both Very comfortable with physical contact.

Miss Me:

Again, just really friendly with his teachers, but especially Miss Me (his main homeroom teacher ofc yk)

definitely the greater target of him sticking around until the last minute (or past said last minute, honestly) to rant about something.

Hoshizawa has a lot to learn not just about using his quirk safely and working with the downfalls of it, but in specializations and using it in new ways too!

she's likely able to work best with Hoshizawa on finding how to learn in a way that works best for them both.

He really likes Miss Me, and how friendly and comfortable she is, defs his favorite teacher.

probably had a moment or two of *hoshiz runs up to hug* *miss me dodges (an attack)* *hoshiz kept going and crashed* lmao

very much the teacher he's most comfortable around, but still masks more compared to like with the students.

Hikari:

literally wants to hug her like always. warm friend.

but also she seems nervous and anxious a lot and doesn't know how to read when she's more or less anxious or what she actually wants.

so he's a lot more regularly like actually holding his arms out & offering a hug instead (as opposed to suddenly hugs attack w a lotta students)

particularly he cannot read when she's agreeing out of anxiety or genuinely agreeing.

ends up asking what she wants or needs in the moment because he has No Clue. (but can hardly get the question across right and ot sounds weird)

they were both homeschooled and had very protective family! relatability ayo

they have an equal standing on meme culture and that's rlly neat

shows her the terrible pictures and just stresses her tf out (tbh idk how I'd respond either- rip lol)

eventually though if hoshizawa is able to see her pictures he 1) gets very ":000 wait thaTS SO PRETTY THO!!" (swiftly apologizing for being loud and scaring her ;;) and 2) understands the point and might ask for some advice.

basically just really wants to be friends, she's literally the only other homeschooled person here and wants to have someone to relate with in not knowing what's going on lol.

that said, he's not totally sure how to go about it seeing she's so extremely anxious all the time and he's not totally sure how to respond to that, or when exactly she feels better or worse.

also, he doesn't have to look down at her thank god, they're sorta equal height.

#tano hoshizawa #tano hoshizawa // astro #bnha oc comeback #tano info #tano thoughts #tano.txt #others ocs #farm fresh

12 notes · View notes

the-empress-7 · 3 years

Note

Can I ask a personal question? ow do you deal with fear of growing older, fomo (fear of missing out), starting to see gray hair and all?...i'll be 32 soon and lately i'm so depressed. My life pace was always slower than my friends because I have very bad anxiety but starting to see tons of gray hair really made me depressed and hit home of how much I feel like I missed in life. I'm still not married, don't have children, afraid I will miss my chance because I can already feel the pressure from everyone around me about how the clock is ticking. I know I should be thankful for everything in life but I feel like it all went by so fast and i'm stuck behind in a 20s mindset/level of doing that I can't seem to shake off. I can't help not comparing my life to my other family members or co workers that all of them seem to be doing better or have a solid believe in themselves while i'm anxious about everything even in my love life... I feel like I lost a lot of confidance this past year after feeling so let down by it all. Aging only makes it worse yk?

Hi, anon this is a deep question that requires a deep answer. The kind that @scorpiotwentythree is an expert in! I will give it a shot but by no means is it a perfect answer. Having just turned 40 myself, I will let you in on a secret. I turned 40 and I did not mind it one bit, in fact I am relieved to have my 30s behind me. The older I get, the easier it has become for me to reject the ideas of what society expects of me. Mind you it took me years to get to this place, years filled with similar thoughts to the ones you are having now.

As for comparing yourself to others, that never ends well. The truth is, everything in life is relative. Someone will always be better off than you, and you will be better off than someone. There will always be someone richer/healthier/skinnier than me, and I will always be richer/healthier/skinnier than someone somewhere. The people who “look” like they have their shit together, all have things that keeps them up at night. No ones life is picture perfect, no matter how hard they try to convince you on Facebook and Instagram!

I am fortunate that I have children, and they give me both perspective and the strength to keep going. However I can also tell you that I have gone through my own personal hell in my lifetime, the kind that someone like poor-me-Harry could never even fathom (sorry to drag him in). At the end of the day no matter what is going on in your life, you have to find that one thing that gives you hope in the darkest hours. For me it's my children. For many it’s their family or friends or their careers or even pets. Do you have something or someone that brings you joy (it doesn't matter what it is, nothing is silly, it’s how I found myself studying astrology as a hobby).

I do want to ask this. Have you thought about adopting a pet? Cats and dogs have a way of teaching us what it means to be loved unconditionally. Not to mention, they can help us get out of our own heads when we feel that we are unworthy of being loved and needed. I am sorry if this is really dumb advice, I have no idea what your living situation is. So please feel free to ignore it.

It’s human nature to ask the kind of questions you are asking, self-doubt is sneaky beast. All the best anon, and you are welcome to stop by anytime.

19 notes · View notes

fmdkiana · 3 years

Text

*to the tune of backpack backpack from dora the explorer* plot time plot time plot time plot time Yeah. under the cut i have little blurbs on where my muses will be and ideas on threads, so come poke my dms (for tumblr ims i suggest messaging sung) or like/reply to this post and i’ll come around to u!

overall she’s the best muse for first time meetings bc company events like this are the main way to have a conversation with her

choice activities miss ki is doing the candlemaking class and dance class

ki likes making her own soaps and candles as is, so she’s the lucky one of my muses to have an activity just for funzies. she could perhaps teach ur muse a thing or two, or they could challenge themselves to try to make candles for each other

dance class could be practicing together, ki helping a non-dancer/someone unfamiliar in the style, even maybe scrutinizing the video together for the next take

other schedules:

the pool party isn’t one she would attend of her own volition, but definitely could be dragged into it if she likes a muse enough or is given reason to do so. could be fun to get her drunk, loosen her up a bit. or, yk, california, give her some weed and listen to her talk about her special interests for hours

surprisingly ki would show up at the food truck festival, at least for a little while. she tries to be careful about what she eats because her skin is sensitive to so much, but she’d be curious and, what she considers, impulsive. it’d also remind her a bit of home in seattle, the good parts, so she could share that with someone, maybe help someone navigate around too given her english-ing

the best way to bond with ki is through common interest, and either flight could be good for that! your muse or ki engaging in one of her interests and it sparking up a conversation could leave a good (or negative, if ur muse has opinions she Really can’t get behind) impression of them to her

jeonghwa

trying something new, stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something unapproved of by higher ups, all things u can count on jhwa for

choice activities this round are fan makeovers and secret fantasy concert

these activities don’t have much in the moment to thread on, but the spaces around the activities could be! pre-makeover making each other up, doing one another’s makeup and it becomes a cute thing to mention to the fans. maybe jeonghwa was being too distracting at the side of the stage during your muse’s set and they talk about it after. could be loads of things!

other schedules:

you knoooow she’s gotta go to the pool party. she’s probably the one spreading the news to everyone about the party in the first place. if anyone needs an extra kick to be able to come, or someone to help them make bad (see: fun) decisions, jeonghwa’s got u. and honestly if someone isn’t skinny dippin w her what’s the point of the party

random but she makes for a good flight partner. coming in or going, she could sit next to your muse and play games, make it less terrible to go thru for so long

one of the after concert meals jeonghwa would go bc free food and drinks, maybe she convinces your muse to “go to bed” early and they dip to explore, get into trouble, whatever

food truck festival eating contest when? jeonghwa getting dared by a friend to smash funnel cake in someone’s face and your muse is sadly the recipient?

andy

antisocial is in the name, BUT he’s feeling pretty good, if tired, so it’s not a terrible time to approach andy. though, depending on his mood, he could make for some more bitchy moments too

his choice activities are for an individual fansign and the softball team (go red)

fansign may not offer much in the moment, but afterwards, andy could have a little complain session about fans, or gasp, maybe he actually liked one of them

softball team... andy is a competitive motherfucker and is gonna Enjoy playing up the sporty angle. imagine hsm2 i don’t dance, same level of playful banter, same sexual tension, but also more aggressive, and you’ve got it. do i know what this means in terms of a plot? absolutely not but i know it’s so chock full

other schedules:

will andy be at the pool party? yes. but his lips will likely be preoccupied with copious weed and hwa the whole night so a muse might need to specifically seek him out or catch him on his way to the drinks

at the welcome brunch buffet can someone please argue with andy about brunch culture,,, he’s anti brunch :/ says it’s just an excuse for white women to get day drunk and they should just admit to it. all the while he’s pounding back mimosas

sung

sung thinks it is incredibly inappropriate for gsm to not only be pushing him, but the rest of the element members, into work schedules so soon after disbandment. sooo this is probably the most upset 99% of famed would have seen him in public. what shock

his choice activities are being a fashion show model and the busking trip

being a model upsets him, given he was already upset, but then tacks onto it feeling like gsm is valuing him highest for his looks at the moment. anyone who can make the experience less than the worst would b appreciated (or make it worse, talk exclusively abt his visuals, i’m down)

busking sung is actually much more into, but that’s largely because of how much he loves performing, with a side helping of appreciating the charity angle. performing is definitely a release for him, but who knows, he could possibly butt heads with someone too

other schedules:

at first glance, sung wouldn’t be very interested in going to the pool party, but he would only need a small nudge to go tbh bc what teeny part of him has capability for pettiness would want to do something gsm doesn’t approve of, And it would be him giving into utilizing whatever unhealthy coping mechanisms he wanted, just for one night. i’m sure he’d black out by end of night, and would make terrible decisions. encourage him? help him? all up for grabs

could be convinced to go to one of the after concert meals but would need the convincing since he’d rather lay in bed being a sadsack

#fmdcall #the third example for villas reminds me of that house in hannibal #the one where the dragon n will n hannibal n u KNOW what i mean #the shawol in me is also extremely happy sung gets to do a sherlock cover #i only started getting to kno ateez for quicksilver so idk them well but i am CONVINCED the sherlock cover is top 3 things theyve ever done #along with black cat nero cover (high production halloween version bc i much prefer the cleaner vocals)#and kingdom kraken performance #icb quicksilver's gonna peak pre-debut this is like element all over again :/#i also didnt wanna repeat myself a whole bunch but ofc anything surrounding the fantasy concerts themselves could work too!#these r just any specific ideas i had or moods i think r important to note #i...queued this...for the wrong day.......im so dumb lol

7 notes · View notes

sohyuki · 3 years

Note

skfjs sorry to crash the party,, andd not really how i envisioned my first mail to you but uh,, that tumblr link for the picrew wont fucking work 💀💀💀 im so ashamed at what im about to say,, but im gonna need a copy of that full link bestie 😭😭 dkakdjdb pls may the ground kindly swallow me up now ?? im so sorry, but why tf do i keep finding myself in situations where my fucking phone wont register the damn link,, this is so embarrassing and what’s worse is that ive already tried asking someone about this before too 🥲🤙

but now that im here anw,, i’ll just say hi as well <33 i wanted to write asks to you, but my hands wont move and i just keep staring like a damn idiot at your blog because i can’t stop admiring the theme :(( its just,, really immaculate and neat,, you’re seriously gonna have to teach me some tricks on that 🤧✋

not the way my heart might have stopped because you're in my ask box

no problem bestie! tech can be iffy sometimes so it's all cool, angel! here you go: https://picrew.me/image_maker/207297

zaly! there's no reason to be ashamed <3 it's not your fault! i'm just sorry for replying so late. AAAAA to think you want to send me mail, fr i've been staring at this ask for 5 minutes, yk desperately trying not sound embarrassing in this reply. thank you for liking my theme! honestly your reaction towards it is so cute and frankly, the most enthusiastic one yet. (i'm as fickle as they come so this theme will probs change the minute i hyperfixate on something new) but seriously, thank you so much for liking my blog <3 you've been a huge inspiration to me since i stumbled upon your blog so having you talk to me is a little surreal tbh jfhdfjhsk. feel free to jump in here whenever you want to ramble or scream about something, i would so love to scream about things with you as well <3

i hope you're having a great day/night sweetheart!

#pls i'm not even joking when i said i stared at this for 5 minutes straight #and the number of times i've rewritten this reply is Embarrassing #— mint's book of friends #— fireside chats with mint #— signed; alatusxiaoo

1 note · View note

pateldevs · 4 years

Note

don’t be shy; share those cho chang headcanons 👀 (thank you for blessing us with that cho chang gifset btw, i love her)

ok literally thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about how much i love cho chang and she got done so dirty in the books AND the movies and i also have this elaborate backstory for her parents bc i love her so much aaaaa anyway there’s a lot so under the cut! ~~

i have fully adopted it into canon in my head lol but her chinese name is 張秋 (which means the pinyin i’m more familiar w would be ‘zhang qiu’ which i guess is close enough to cho), 張 meaning hunter/archer and 秋 meaning harvest/autumn

the fact that her anglicized surname is ‘chang’ and not ‘zhang’ makes me think her dad’s family is taiwanese

her mom’s family used to be involved in international affairs for the british ministry of magic office in hong kong (as it was still a colony) and that’s how her mom’s family came to the uk

her parents fully embodied the enemies-to-lovers trope when they were at hogwarts b/c her dad captained the ravenclaw quidditch team and her mom captained the gryffindor team and they were both seekers

hence cho totally grew up on quidditch and played around trying to catch an old snitch with her parents from a young age

she almost ended up in hufflepuff. look at the way she stuck by marietta in ootp?? she’s so fiercely loyal!! wtf!!!

the kinds of traits that ultimately put her in ravenclaw make her a good athlete and vice versa. look at how she plays quidditch: she relies on a number of strategies besides just outright skill, usually distraction/diversion and turning the opposing seeker’s skills against them

that said i fully think her father is muggle-born or half-blood and grew up fencing, so he teaches her how to fence, and so she’s also a great épée fencer

she’s not great with offensive spells - hence her trouble in when they’re in DA in ootp - but she’s excellent with defensive charms, predicting what her opponent’s going to do, moving fast. it’s what makes her one of flitwick’s favorite students.

charms is her best class. don’t ask me for justification here it just is.

flitwick obviously sees her potential and totally invites her to dueling club even though she’s quite young for it

she’s a harpist. don’t ask me where this came from i just think if she played an instrument it would be harp

she’s a younger sibling, she’s so sensitive like fr the eldest daughter in an asian family would just internalize their emotions (this one was developed jointly with my older sister lmao)

she and cedric didn’t start out as a couple. they started as friends when both of them were out on the quidditch pitch early one morning, just practicing flying.

she and cedric tell each other EVERYTHING. absolutely everything. like fr this girl was almost a hufflepuff ok don’t tell me they wouldn’t have the most emotionally invested relationship

cedric asks her to the yule ball and quickly says it’s a really lowkey thing, they’re just friends

they’re not just friends though, she thinks she’s starting to like him because when he looks at her she feels like she can do anything, and when he looks at her it’s her, not her sister, not anyone else.

she’s secretly glad that she has a reason to turn down harry when he asks her to the yule ball. marietta thinks she’s crazy - who would willingly turn down a chance to be harry potter’s date?? - but cho just can’t bear the thought of just being ‘harry potter’s date.’ with cedric, at least she has a chance to be herself.

when cedric dies she’s absolutely devastated:

she can’t stop thinking about how they snuck out of their houses to sit on top of the astronomy tower and look at the stars the night before the last task

she can’t stop thinking about how he confessed that he was scared but he knew he’s so close to winning, and how he joked that it would be impossible for her to not fall in love with him if he won

she can’t stop thinking about how she said don’t be scared, just pretend i’m there with you, i’ve got your back (because obviously they’ve been to dueling club together and he knows how good she is at defensive spells)

she can’t stop thinking about how he waved to her before he entered the maze at the start of the third task

she feels so insanely guilty that maybe she’s the reason he died, he said he wanted to do well to impress her that night on the astronomy tower, didn’t he?

she loses sleep over it, she has dreams about that last night all the time, she has dreams about seeing harry coming back with cedric’s body, she has these dreams where she’s watching him get killed and she can’t do anything to defend him

she wants to ask harry about it at the end of the year but she doesn’t, because she doesn’t think she can handle hearing about it, but somehow it’s worse hearing rumors from everyone else

she finds herself drawn to harry because he makes her feel closer to cedric, because the loss of cedric is something they both share and surely harry must know how it feels

honestly this is what really pisses me off about how she’s written in the books, is that her emotions are so one-dimensional that they become a caricature of asian women as meek and weepy. the most her emotions ever got developed was when hermione explained how cho must be feeling after she kissed harry

like, you’re allowed to have female characters whose arcs are largely tied to and/or driven by other characters, but you gotta actually go into those relationships yk? in the books she’s only ever someone’s girlfriend and she just cries all the time but we don’t actually talk about why

she’s not just crying all the time because she incapable of moving on (which is more or less what harry thinks). she’s crying because she didn’t just lose her boyfriend, she lost one of her best friends. she stops going to dueling club because she’s lost her partner. her flying starts suffering because she thinks about all those early morning 1v1 games she and cedric used to have.

(marietta only goes to DA meetings with her because she feels like it’s the ‘good friend’ thing to do. if going to DA helps her cope with cedric’s death then sure. she goes.)

i’ve already said she was almost a hufflepuff but i have to say it again, cho loves and cares so deeply. she’s a sucker for sentimentalism. she skips dumbledore’s funeral to stand up on the astronomy tower and think about the war that’s coming.

on the last day of her seventh year, she finds the room of requirement again and spends hours walking through it, remembering everything she learnt in DA

when the war really starts up after dumbledore’s death, her parents want to move away, they want her and her sister to have as non-magical a life as they can, so she does, but she keeps the DA galleon and her wand instead of snapping it like her sister. her parents have absolutely no idea that she goes off to the battle of hogwarts.

when she fights she’s a team player. she partners up with katie bell for most of the final battle

at one point she and katie are separated and she comes face to face with a death eater. she almost kills him. she wants to so badly. she hates what the man stands for. but she thinks about two of the most important people in this war, harry and cedric, and she thinks, they never would. so she doesn’t.

^ she doesn’t think of harry and cedric because of her relationship with them. in fact it’s thinking about her relationship with cedric that makes her want to kill the death eater. but she thinks of harry and cedric, and what they would want and do, because they are the ones who had/have the most to lose in this war.

when are we going to get a series that delves into how visceral her emotions were?! how her grief tore her to pieces! how her trauma ate away at her! how disarming a death eater and pinning him to the ground and holding the tip of her wand to his throat made her feel like a totally different person, how close she came to ending his life! how, in the days after the battle, she feels disgusted by the idea that she even thought about using an unforgivable curse. how she learns to recover and rebuild and heal!

she plays seeker for the holyhead harpies for a while. she learns to love flying again. she learns to love the stars again.

she doesn’t really start a family because she has little interest in being associated with others as ‘so-and-so’s wife’ or ‘so-and-so’s mother.’

she always visits cedric’s grave on june 24 every year.

eventually when flitwick retires she takes his place as charms professor and head of house because if anyone deserves a happy ending it’s cho chang!!

#she has so many emotions to be explored!!#also i saw ur tags on my post and i was like big heart eyes lmao #thank u for giving me the opportunity to think about my Queen #i'm sorry i just think about her a lot #she was so brilliant and smart and had so much to her!!!#and every time she showed up it was just so harry could be like 'she was pretty owo'#answered #deifiliaa #cho chang #txt #hp

11 notes · View notes

earwaxinggibbous · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

So 2019 was kind of a weird year, wasn’t it? Not just for like, life, though it was weird in that aspect, but in music.

I can’t tell if 2019 was an incredibly strong year for music or a weak one. This, to me, is a sign that we’re transitioning into a new era of popular music. The youth are once again taking the reigns of the music scene as did the punks of the 70′s and the grunge kids of the 90′s. Meanwhile, the oldheads flounder for relevance in the face of this new adversity. “Nobody could’ve expected this!”, said no-one ever.

There was a lot of great pop this year, which I will get to, but there was also a lot of bad pop. All of it was either by shitty new artists who have no talent or previous hitmakers swimming around in their own piss. Regardless, it was all interesting to look at. You won’t see any “this entry is short because this song is boring” sections. I also won’t have to rant and rave constantly about the reprehensibility of certain artists, though it will come up. So I guess 2019 was a better year to talk about bad music.

Less do dis.

10. Senorita - Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

I can’t explain why I hate Camila Cabello so much. I didn’t even realize I hated her until, like... now.

I thought Havana was okay, and her work with Fifth Harmony was tolerable, but every other single she’s dropped has been fucking excruciating. Bad Things sucked, that one song where she can’t pronounce the word “heroin” properly sucked, and this song sucks.

Much like Selena Gomez above, Camila Cabello is yet another female singer who lacks the ability to display any chemistry with anybody, even her actual real friend Shawn Mendes. As well, like sister Gomez, she fills the chart niche of sexy Latina women for men to drool over. “I love it when you call me senorita” is one of the corniest and stupidest lines ever written. She may as well have said “it gets me hot when you call me Ms. Cabello” because that’s essentially the equivalent.

There’s nothing sexy about the airy whimpering or the obnoxious “ooh-la-la”s or the way Shawn harmonizes, which implies he also loves it when you call him senorita. Nobody actually bothered to think any part of this song through because nobody ever thinks very hard about writing Camila’s songs. Otherwise Bad Things wouldn’t have accidentally sounded like an abuse anthem when it was supposed to be kinky and sexy. And it’s how creepy lyrics like this got by in Senorita.

If he says you’re just friends then you’re JUST FRIENDS. Did we learn nothing from Ann-Marie and Marshmello last year?

This is just yet another lame, plotless, meandering love/sex song by Camila Cabello who has a good voice, but only ever performs these god-awful sex jams with no sex and no jam. And it’s unfortunate because this is sort of the lot dealt to most Latinx artists. Pop-friendly artists like Camila are divvied up into racial categories without anyone even noticing, and most likely she will only ever write and perform sex jams because that’s what a Latina woman in pop is pushed into. Not that I think she has any problem with it, it’s more indicative of a bigger problem than specifically one with Camila herself.

People have been sexualizing the Latinx community since the dawn of time, and while the new movement of Spanish music might change this, it sure as hell hasn’t started yet.

At least it isn’t seven minutes long like Te Bote.

9. Money in the Grave - Drake and Rick Ross

Drake had 25 hits last year, and only one of them was a song I might say I actually like. I remember I said there’d be no boring songs, but... Drake hasn’t been interesting in a long time. Even when I found out about his secret son, or the fact that he was with a significantly younger woman, I just kinda shrugged and said “oh”. Drake has to be on his way out. How much longer are people going to stand this?

Money in the Grave isn’t as turgid as 2018’s Nonstop, or as audibly inept as the 2017(?)’s Pop Style, but God. At this point, every Drake song sounds the same. The man is incapable of bringing forth any kind of emotions, his beats are pathetic drum loops, nothing he writes has any personality. It’s almost funny how boring his music is.

Rick Ross, if you remember him, was known in his time for writing shouty drug dealer anthems. He yelled a lot, and I was sitting with bated breath waiting for him to fucking 6ix9ine scream over this track, only to be disappointed when he lowered into a calmer register for this tune. Drake even made Rick Ross boring, and Rick Ross is one of the funniest bad rappers I can think of, aside from like, Soulja Boy.

I no longer understand what niche Drake fills. You can’t dance to this, you can’t get high to it, nobody’s gonna think you’re cool if you enjoy it, the lyrics aren’t even passably interesting. It’s the same rap cliches as always, perhaps with a new coat of paint, but said paint is the same color as it already was previously, and makes no change.

No wonder Drake endorsed Lil Baby. Nobody else can equal his talent at sounding bored.

8. Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

So here’s an unpopular music critic opinion: I don’t like Billie Eilish.

I’ve known of her for a long time, and never once has she drawn my intrigue. I’ve gone all over asking people why they like her, and I’ve heard all sorts of answers. Her voice is good, her lyrics are good, her production is interesting, her subject matter is deep... whatever it actually is, I couldn’t tell you. But in the end, I basically feel the same way about her as I do about Twenty-One Pilots. She’s an artist in an oversaturated micro-genre who, despite being of lower quality than her contemporaries, managed to do something different enough that she rose up in the latter part of the genre’s life. In Billie’s case, it’s the trend of female alt-pop singer-songwriters who write about things like politics, feminism, and ESPECIALLY mental health.

Lorde was the original, but we also have Lana Del Rey, the more pop-friendly Halsey, Marina and the Diamonds, the dreaded Melanie Martinez, to some extent even Alessia Cara, just a whole bunch of them. They all had their own unique personality. Billie Eilish’s personality is that she has none.

Okay, I’m being a little mean. I do think that Billie’s music videos are actually very interesting, but good music videos does not a good musician make. Her voice is more of a phlegmy whisper than people let on, and her lyrics... like, what, what makes them so special? And why didn’t wish you were gay get ANY backlash when it’s basically just a backwards version of Little Big Town’s Girl Crush?

Bad Guy is the worst of her singles without question. Its beat, much like most of her songs, sounds like two people accidentally banged on top of the Cassio and somebody pressed record. Her voice continues to be boring and flat, for some reason she has to whisper everything, and the lyrics are some of the most mind-numbing shit I’ve ever heard. Which moron at corporate told the 17-YEAR-OLD to write a “steal yo man” song where she threatens to seduce my dad? Like, ignoring my own personal history with my dad, you are literally a CHILD.

Generally speaking, the song sounds like someone gargling mouthwash in my ear for a minute or two, but like, very quietly. Which is kind of pathetic for a song called Bad Guy. You sound like a pretty average guy to me.

It’s obvious from the music video that Billie’s main inspiration is grunge, and if that isn’t the case I’ll be surprised. The weird imagery and intentionally dressing like a homeless person to every public thing she does gives off big Nirvana energy. One could argue that Billie Eilish is a good segway into teaching the youthsters about the ghosts of music’s past. There’s just a few problems with that.

One: Bad Guy sounds nothing like a grunge song.

Two: Billie Eilish does not have a grunge voice.

Three: Billie Eilish just... isn’t doing it right.

Billie Eilish’s parents are two wealthy actors and she was basically born with the ability to get into the business easier than other people. I’m not saying that you can’t be a grunge artist if you’re wealthy and have a decent family life, but I am saying that Billie’s music doesn’t convey any kind of grunge appeal. There’s no roughness or rawness to it because she could immediately walk into a producer’s studio with a wad of fifties and ask for a sick beat. Her music displays no emotion, and emotion is the main draw of grunge. Like, Kurt Cobain wasn’t a very good singer, but he knew how to perfectly channel how he was feeling. Grunge music is about feelings, not polish. And Billie Eilish is all polish.

I’m not gonna get all angry because grunge is being gentrified by a tiny girl when it was originally started by broke heroin addicts and lesbians, but I am gonna get angry because her music sounds worse than albums made on a budget of 600 dollars by a guy who has had one voice lesson his whole life.

She should just go into modern art.

7. Worth It - YK Osiris

Originally I was gonna give this spot to a different song. Worth It was so immediately bad that it rescued Lil Baby from my list this year.

Don’t expect to be this lucky next year, bitch.

But we’re not talking about that squealing douchebag, we’re talking about THIS squealing douchebag:

YK Osiris. I have no idea where he came from, I think he was part of last year’s XXL Freshman Class? He’s more of a singer than a rapper, so I’m not sure why he was, other than the predetermined idea that all black artists in pop are rappers. I wouldn’t even call him a singer, because the man cannot sing.

At the beginning of the music video, you see dozens of paparazzi swarming around YK Osiris’ car as he exits with a girl. This is the set-up for the song’s impressive amount of self-fellating narcissism, as YK Osiris assumes he has fans. Who the fuck listens to YK Osiris? I mean, clearly someone, because he charted, but like... what does a YK Osiris fan look like? Do women actually like hearing him wheeze into their ear? Like BEES?

NO MORE BEES!

Hearing this fucking chicken nugget talk about whether or not I’m worth eet is the lamest thing. Why does she have to be worth it? Are YOU worth HER time? Who the fuck are you? The attitude is very, I guess, mid-70′s Paul Anka-esque. And now I’ve made you imagine a YK Osiris cover of You’re Having My Baby. I also remember Todd in the Shadows compared this song to Earned It by The Weeknd, but I dunno if I get that vibe.

I mean, Earned It is a song about like... BDSM sex, presumably. So that’s more of an “if you’re good master will make you squart” kind of thing. This is more some sentient dildo insisting that you prove his worth to him before you’re even DATING. That’s a red flag on the same level as meeting a guy who lives alone and still puts a lock on his fridge. Like, what’s in there? What’s in the fridge? Is it human meat?

The guitar solo in this song is the only thing about it that’s... worth it. ZING!

6. ZEZE - Kodak Black ft.Travis Scott and Offset

ZEZE is a bad song. Plain and simple. It’s the essence of bad.

It feels like... it wasn’t even finished. Like everyone involved came in the next day to finish tweaking it only to find out that it was already sent out to be published and sold. I feel like there are things missing. Like yeah, the steel drums are nice, but where’s the rest of the instrumentation? There’s a drum and a steel drum and then nothing. Why does this song feel so naked?

Kodak Black sure doesn’t help, still sounding like he’s half-man half-screaming rubber chicken and mumbling like an actual infant still figuring out the whole “talking” deal. It’s not like Travis Scott or Offset add anything. I can’t remember what they did. ZEZE sounds the way I imagine taking ketamine and cocaine would feel. This song is so amateurish, I almost have good will for it.

If this was made by, say, a couple of high school kids dinking around with a Garageband, I might find it a little cute. The problem is that this song was made by several Whole Ass Adult People who have enough money to not make shit that sounds like ZEZE. It’s cute until you remember that Travis Scott produced big sexy SICKO MODE and yet somehow his presence couldn’t make ZEZE sound like it was made on a higher budget than 20 bucks. Someone even put an echo on Kodak’s voice, like that’d make him ANY BETTER.

It doesn’t help that I have continuing ill will towards Kodak Black because he’s a sex offender and nobody seems all too pressed about it. (Some rappers even congratulate him for having a rough past, like yeah, I guess some of those serial killers really did deserve better, huh?) I won’t be satisfied until he’s wearing orange pajamas on an island far away, and until then my feelings stand.

As it is, ZEZE is a song so chintzy-sounding and lame that I can’t imagine who would enjoy it. This song has the same energy as one of those hula girls you put on the dashboard of your car: Cheap and ugly.

5. The Git Up - Blanco Brown

Whenever something new is created, there’s always a leech.

I probably don’t need to tell you about the monstrous year Old Town Road had on the pop charts. For weeks and weeks, Lil Nas X was blocking people from his throne at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, bumping off new faces like Billie Eilish and oldheads like Taylor Swift. Old Town Road knew no mercy. This is the year that a gay black kid singing about horses ruled the world.

And Blanco Brown wanted a piece.

Blanco Brown is one of those artists who started out producing and writing for other hitmakers. He worked on some song by 2Chainz, a couple by some woman named Demetria McKinney, he produced that accursed MILF song by Fergie, a lot of relatively famous people. But he looked at Old Town Road and realized that he, being a black man from the lovely state of Georgia, could also do that.

He could not do that.

The Git Up is a husk of a song, only validated by the fact that it achieved what it was aiming for: TikTok memes. It’s as shameless as Watch Me, but doesn’t even have the small sense of excitement Silento gives off. Blanco Brown’s The Git Up and the “challenge” that it’s attached to are pathetic. The only reason Blanco isn’t too ashamed to go outside after writing this is because he knows plenty of people have fallen into his trap, and that they’re bigger fools than he is.

I started off hating Old Town Road, but over time I’ve sort of come to love it. There’s innocence in it. Lil Nas X didn’t mean for it to be a number one hit, it just happened. A lot of artists were trying too hard this past year, and I suspect it’s why Old Town Road made the pop charts its bitch. It didn’t have to try.

A lot of people will point at rock bands for being “fake”. If they draw inspiration from grunge or punk, and they don’t have the proper edge, many will point and laugh. But just because something is fun and hip doesn’t mean it’s easier to make. In fact, I feel it’s a lot easier to tell if someone’s making a shitty pop song for any reason other than themselves. A lot of people thought Lil Peep was faking, and he really, really wasn’t. There’s grey area in topics like depression, but Blanco Brown (and anyone like him) is as transparent as a window. I see through his mock-excitement, his cute little dance challenge, his “innocent” song. We all do.

I believe Tyler Durden put it best:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

4. I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran ft. Justin Bieber

Speaking of being fake...

I don’t know if Ed Sheeran realizes how embarrassing this song is. More than any other song he’s been involved in. More than Shape Of You, or that one song on Revival, more than anything. I Don’t Care is an exercise in humiliation.

Generally speaking, I don’t like Ed Sheeran’s music. I think he’s had a couple good songs, we all like Sing and Castle on the Hill, it’s not like he’s untalented. But every time he’s gotten a big hit these past few years it’s been so shitty or mediocre that I wanted to scream. I’m not sure why, but all of his fans seem to flock towards his worst songs. And of all of them, I hate I Don’t Care the most.

Usually the problems with Ed Sheeran’s music just revolve around his meek, tiny personality and his weird style of lyricism. The level of detail he gets into can be both an asset and a detriment. I remember I basically described Shape Of You as a virgin anthem, because Ed Sheeran exudes dorkiness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it comes to nerd music I’d rather take Thomas Dolby, but he definitely had a style.

I Don’t Care is Ed’s Intuition.

As in, the Jewel song. The blown-up pop song released by Jewel, a previously sincere folk singer who played acoustic guitar and sang about break-ups and The Media(TM) and stuff like that. Ed Sheeran is a lot like Jewel, if you think about it. Both of them are skilled lyricists who play acoustic guitar and sing about personal topics, and both of them suddenly decided to throw that away and make a sell-out pop hit. If this kills Ed’s career, they’ll have had basically the same musical trajectory.

Ed Sheeran opens the song by saying he’s at a party he doesn’t wanna be at, and that’s how the song feels. You, the listener, are at a party you don’t wanna be at. What good did adding Justin Bieber to this song do? Oh, right, that’s what made it a hit. I Don’t Care goes far beyond Blanco Brown’s brand of shamelessness. Blanco Brown specifically wanted a dance challenge hit. Ed Sheeran just wanted a hit. Any hit will do. He brought in guaranteed hitmaker Justin Bieber, tossed out his acoustic guitar for fully electronic production, and sang about something vague and already done. And the worst part is that it WORKED.

I imagine this was almost entirely through radio play, because this song is so radio-friendly and milktoast it’s unreal. With a stupid music video greenscreening Ed’s face onto shit and “ooh ooh”s and all, this song exists to pander. It wasn’t created for humans, rather, it was created for the pop music algorithm that’ll shove it into people’s laps without them asking. There’s no artistic integrity, nothing worth thinking about for longer than its runtime. It made it to the Hot 100 because it can be played in grocery stores and clothing stores and really any kind of store. Ed Sheeran is a God of nothing, and I can’t imagine he’s proud.

3. No Guidance - Chris Brown ft. Drake

This song is bad on every possible level. Starting off with the fact that it’s nine minutes long. It out-lengths last year’s overly long garbage fire that was Te Bote.

And then you look at the credits and know exactly who’s to blame for all this:

I don’t know if Lil Dicky anticipated giving Chris Brown’s career a second wind with Freaky Friday, but I think that’s what he did. I defended Lil Dicky last year, and I’m still not clear on how much he actually wanted to work with Chris Brown since that’s not really the kind of thing famous people are honest about, but this wasn’t Lil Dicky’s hit. This was a springboard to launch Chris Brown back into the limelight. Earth didn’t even chart. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the last gasp of Lil Dicky’s career in the spotlight.

But I’d take Freaky Friday over No Guidance any day.

No Guidance is the formal beef-squash between Chris Brown and Drake. Apparently they both dated Rihanna at some point and allegedly had an actual literal bar fight. Despite Drake claiming he still loves Rihanna, he’s also choosing to publicly make up with and work with the man who got her hospitalized at 19 years old. Then again, Rihanna also wants nothing to do with Drake.

(source)

Over time, Drake has proven himself to be his own flavor of scumbag, a weirdo who dates younger women and pretended not to have a son. Perhaps this is his way of getting back at Rihanna. Or he’s simply using Chris Brown’s new power to bolster his own career. Regardless of why it is, it’s gross, especially when he’s dropping bars like this:

Someone else here is looking a little violent, no?

On pure quality, it sounds like every other Chris Brown song, just with Drake tossed into the mix haphazardly. It’s a lame song about hitting on some girl where both artists drop references to their old songs because that’s the easiest way for a failing artist to feign relevance. Assuming nobody features Chris Brown on another massive hit next year, there’s a fair chance he’s done for, and after years of oversaturation, the public finally tires of Drake. No Guidance is a nothing song with scummy shit going on behind the scenes.

RIP Lil Dicky.

2. 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

I never really understood the hype around Ariana Grande. She has a few songs that I enjoy, and her voice is very good, but nothing by her really stands out to me as an amazing song. Ariana stans are relentless. When I posted my review of the thank u, next album some complete stranger replied to it with “Uhhh ok sis”. Like barring the fact that I’m not a girl and we’re not related... it’s an opinion, calm yourself.

Frankly I don’t know how people enjoyed this song. Her stans are insane, but surely not that insane, right? I mean... this isn’t a song. It’s a MISTAKE.

Between Gwen Stefani and Ariana Grande, sampling The Sound Of Music for your pop song is a dangerous game. And really, she should’ve sampled like, anything else. Because nothing says “wealthy, savage girl” like a cute song about your favorite things, I guess!

I’ve never felt quite so immediately gross and uncomfortable as I did when listening to 7 Rings. I have no problem with women flexing, of course I don’t, but this isn’t flexing, it’s mocking. 7 Rings makes me feel like I’m being bullied.

Ari had a horrible 2018, and she’s more than allowed to flex a little, but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to essentially play the villain of a high school movie. She’s not Cher Horowitz or Regina George, because then at least she’d be entertainingly bitchy. I judge a flex anthem based on how much I get excited for the person being wealthy and cool. This song makes me want to commit a robbery.

The lyrical content isn’t the only bad element. It also sounds like shit!

Ariana Grande is a belter. Everyone knows she’s here to sing and not... rap. Which is exactly what she does on this song. The filters she puts over her voice during the rapping sections are just... gross. When she drags out certain words it hurts my ears. That and apparently multiple people have accused her of stealing their flows, though that’s really hard to say since it’s an incredibly generic rap flow. Also, she samples Gimme The Loot by Biggie Smalls, a song about robbing people. Which makes sense because if you bought Ariana’s album, you were robbed! Congrats!

But in the end, the most damning thing about this song is its lyrics. Why should I be excited about this absolute bitch having tons of money? Why should I care when she has the gall to say shit like this?

There were ten writers on this song and nobody thought of saying “hey, maybe the phrase ‘happiness is the same price as red-bottoms’ is a little fucking shallow!”

And I’m not making any judgments on Ariana’s character in real life. I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, but if this song was supposed to project some sense of camaraderie and a “we did it!” attitude, it fails. What it does project is a snide, rich girl looking down on you for not just buying yourself out of depression. Never write a song like this again.

Honorable Mentions

Happier - Marshmello and Bastille

I’m not gonna be the first to say every Marshmello beat sounds exactly the same, but every Marshmello beat sounds the same. I picked this one because it charted highest, but really it makes no difference which Marshmello song I pick on.

Sweet But Psycho - Ava Max

This song reads like a 12-year-old’s deviantART journal.

Drip Too Hard - Lil Baby and Gunna

Like I said, this song almost got on the list proper. It’s a slow burn. At first you feel like the beat is solid, and Lil Baby rides it decently enough, but then it keeps going and the flows never switch and Gunna basically sounds the same as Lil Baby and you begin feeling like you’re losing your mind.

Thotiana - Blueface

People kept memeing about this. I thought it’d be fun. I hate you guys.

God’s Country - Blake Shelton

Namedropping The Devil Went Down To Georgia does not make you Primus. Because you are not creative or interesting.

Trampoline - Shaed

I wouldn’t have even given this song a second thought except apparently it’s hit the alt-rock charts? Where is this rock? Like I get we’re pushing the boundaries of genre but I think the bare minimum of a rock song would be a GUITAR.

Knockin’ Boots - Luke Bryan

This song is dumb. But I’m oddly amused by how dumb it is, so it may live.

Baby - Lil Baby and DaBaby

Sometimes things sound like a good idea, and then they’re not. This didn’t even sound like a good idea and it proved to be an even worse idea. Something definitely could’ve been done with this, but Lil Baby is essentially a creative void that consumes all it sees.

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

Another song that’s too dumb for me to really get mad at. God knows, Capaldi is putting a hell of a lot of effort into something. What it is, I’m not sure, but he’s doing his best.

With those out of the way, we move onto

Number One:

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

"I AM LAID LOW BY THE HUMAN RACE. ME, AN INNOCENT WOMAN, MUST DEAL WITH ‘HATERS’ EVERY SINGLE DAY. MY HEART HAS BECOME WEAK WITH ALL OF THE UNKIND WORDS. DARE I SAY... I AM OPPRESSED?”

It’s ironic hearing Taylor Swift tell me to calm down. She hasn’t been calm for a long time. She sure as hell isn’t calm in this song. It’s basically the equivalent of someone screaming “I AM NOT ANGRY!”

Like, you’re... still mad about the snake thing? It’s been a few years now and you’re still bothered enough by an emoji that you referenced it in a song about how not-bothered you are? I mean, apparently this song (as well as ME!) is about celebrating individuality. It definitely is celebrating an individual: Taylor Swift.

I think a big theme of this year was “embarrassing”. The Git Up was embarrassing, I Don’t Care was embarrassing, but none of them are more embarrassing than this. You could probably do a list of the ten worst Taylor Swift lyrics and it’d be mostly this song. And if the lyrics aren’t terrible enough, it also blatantly copies the beat from Sunflower, the second-biggest hit of the year and a personal favorite. Like, a fellow critic remixed them together and the backing track is essentially unchanged.

And then we get to the gay stuff.

I’m not the first to point out that the underlying message of this song is pathetic at best and offensive at worst: “I have haters, and gays have haters, so we’re basically the same.” This is essentially Taylor Swift hoping she’ll get an invite to judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

There’s just kind of an eensy weensy problem.

Gay “haters” are like... ACTUALLY DANGEROUS.

They’re not just the goofy, protest-sign waving boomers she depicts in her music video. An internet comment is harmless. Homophobia isn’t. Homophobia leads to suicide, gets teens kicked out of their homes, causes hate crimes, it can cause incredibly serious harm. Someone sending you a fucking snake emoji isn’t the same as years and years of systematic oppression!

Does Taylor Swift have to worry about her safety when she tours in more conservative areas? Does she have to fear the possibility of losing friends and family ties when opening up about herself? Does she have to worry about letting the public see who she dates, beyond the usual celebrity drama? Do people shout slurs at her on the street? Do churches and politicians campaign against her right to marry?

Of course not.

Taylor Swift has always made everything about herself. She’s lied and been petty for years and years in her music. Imagine lying about KANYE. You don’t need to lie about fucking Kanye to make him look bad! He does it himself! She was the victim that time, and every time. But at no point until now did she stoop low enough to openly compare herself to oppressed groups because people are mean to her on the internet.

Like this isn’t even about articles or tabloids or anything, it’s about people being nasty online. The phrase “shade never made anybody less gay” is basically a crackhead way of diminishing our suffering. It’s not “shade” we’re worried about, Taylor, it’s having our fucking legal rights taken away. Your biggest worry is “haters”. Haters aren’t going to ban you from being married.

This song is phony, it’s a rip-off of a much better song that literally came out in the same year, it’s repetitive, it’s petty, and most of all, it tries to diminish the oppression of the LGBT+ community by boiling down all of our pain and suffering to simple “shade”.

I will not calm down.

Woo-ee. That was something alright. We’ll be moving onto the best list soon, if I don’t get caught up in my other quarantine activities.

#panda posts #top 10 list #worst hits of 2019 #top 10 worst hits of 2019 #worst hits #pop song review #pop music #music criticism #music review

1 note · View note