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incorrect-mha-bnha · 4 years

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BNHA Baseball-Quirkless AU

Where Midoriya is actually Bakugou’s older brother by 12 years and is permanently paralyzed from the waist down, has to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

(This is going to be a long thread and I will never trust the Keep Reading again for deleting this entire thing once already~ So, apologies)

Main Characters

Katsuki (I’ll figure out a last name later)

Baseball Prodigy

16 years old

Has been playing since the age of 5

His dream is to go pro, become the best baseball player ever

Best player on his team. Was pushed into Varsity, freshman year for his insane pitching speed that broke the JV catcher’s wrist with a curve ball.

He’s got the makings of an All Star with all the determination, skills, even the support of his entire family + friends.

Katsuki has an infamously nasty attitude on the field and off. It makes him hard to work with in any position they may give him. (He raises hell if he is not on the mound).

He’s got a real good arm, an almost perfect pitch and a fire driven soul.

They rely on him, and they should. Katsuki has led his team through many championships, tournaments and games. There are scouts lined up just to get a glimpse of his insane curve ball. Katsuki has all the glory, the pure etched tanaz to get things in his life, there is just one problem.

He’s stuck under his brother’s shadow

Izuku (Same as Katsuki)

Ex Baseball player

Being a pro baseball player was his only dream, what he was working for.

Permanently paralyzed from the waist down, a lot of scarring all over his body

Izuku was the Underdog at an extremely young age. Making Varsity on tryouts without having to work for it like Katsuki, who spent hours pushing his speed above average, busting his ass to be the best.

Izuku had an unchallenged power that seemed like it came overnight. That’s where he got the nickname Underdog (don’t even ask, because I like it). He never played well in Middle School, but he had that dream to keep him going. Got into High School and became the equivalent to a Senior’s level of skill by Freshman.

Note: Yagi took Izuku under his wing and formed a bond. They became extremely close, working hard to keep Izuku’s abilities up and rising. (There was no extreme favoritism but Izuku looked up to Yagi’s skills and abilities anyway).

Izuku was someone loved by all, with a personality that kept his team working at their best. Izuku had the greatest leadership skills ever seen, the highest pitching speed in the country’s Varsity Leagues and an even better rating on the college scouting boards.

By Junior year, Izuku was already taking tours of campuses

He’s a legend in their High School, an idol to every baseball player and student that ever roamed those halls.

Katsuki never understood it. He hated being compared to his older brother, being overshadowed by someone who couldn’t even play anymore. Getting compared to a broken man, someone who Katsuki had never once seen pick up a ball while he was growing up. Katsuki held resent for his brother, his effortless favoritism, the saintly image they painted him in. Why was Izuku so praised, adored and given such a high podium when there was nothing really great about him? Why was Katsuki always having to measure up to him, getting backhanded praise about his hard work that never really compared to Izuku’s? All Katsuki craves to do is finally beat Izuku and prove he is the better player. Show everyone he could do it when Izuku couldn’t- but to do that, Katsuki has to defeat some demons and dig some old ones up as well.

Side Characters

(Everyone is older then Katsuki, Kirishima is the youngest upper class man.)

Izuku’s Team/Friends

Todoroki (Back up Pitcher, Catcher)

Iida (3rd Base)

Ojiro (Infield)

Shinsou (Outfield) [I might switch him to Katsuki’s side]

Yagi Toshinori/ All Might- His coach name (Coach)

Note: After Izuku became paralyzed, Yagi retired and never went back

Tsuyu (Close friend)

Uraraka (Best friend since childhood, stops by to bring Izuku to Therapy sometimes. Is like Katsuki’s older sisters, though he won’t openly admit to it.)

Katsuki’s Team/Friends

Kirishima (Back up catcher, outfield)

Tamaki (Back up Pitcher, Main Second base)

Mirio (Main Catcher- Kirishima’s mentor)

Fat Gum (Coach)

Tetsutetsu (Football player- Kirishima’s friend)

Tomo (YES BITCH, OKAY? Sigh, I’ll figure out a role for my man)

Sero, Denki, Mina, Jirou (Kirishima’s friends from the beginning, will be Katsuki’s friends later)

Eijirou Kirishima

17- going on 18 years old

Openly Pansexual

Quit football in Middle School to play baseball after stumbling upon a game where the catcher nicknamed Crimson Riot over turned a 2-17 score game just by his catching and fielding alone. Ever since then, Kirishima has wanted to be just as good of a catcher and played the game ever since.

He got into Varsity without being pushed up. Working for it through his own pace, earning many scouts and skills.

Eijirou is ruthless, powerful and surprisingly agile for such a tall, bulky body. He has an amazing personality, is resilient and strong. His insistence to work hard every damn day of his life and commitment to push him and Katsuki beyond their limits was initially where Katsuki started to form his attachment to the catcher.

Tamaki and Mirio took Eijirou under their wings to help mold him into an amazing catcher. Tamaki worked with him to handle many different pitches and field situations. Mirio showed Eijirou ways to communicate with a pitcher, working restless to become a rock wall behind the plate.

Note: Mirio looked up to Izuku at a young age and wanted to be a catcher that could take a pitch from someone as great as him

Eijirou watched how they bonded/interacted as a Pitcher and Catcher duo on the field. He took that visionary partnership and found Katsuki, his perfect man pitcher.

He is about the only one that can handle Katsuki’s attitude on the field, able to keep him in check, finish plays and command the field simultaneously. Eijirou has no issue with reading Katsuki either, or telling him what to do during a situation.

He is older than Katsuki, responsible with more experience in High School level games.

He is the assigned catcher for whenever Katsuki is put into play, as demanded from the blond himself.

Eijirou is a voice of reason, a place of solace.

Knows when to reel Katsuki back in or let him expel all his pent up emotions. Even if it’s through an unsolicited late night practice the blond may pull Eijirou on.

Eijirou builds his relationship with Katsuki easily, able to break down walls and a thorned exterior to really bring out the best in him.

Katsuki sometimes can’t stand it when Eijirou gets all “high and mighty” with him, but it’s just the catcher taking a mature stance on a situation to better communicate the problem.

Please Note: This is not going to revolve solely around Kirishima and Bakugou. The characters and their backstories + roles will be shown but the main relationship being written around is Katsuki’s and Izuku’s with endgame KiriBaku that happens in the backlight

Eijirou has his own set goals and dreams. Planning to attend the same college that Crimson Riot had and maybe catch alongside him.

He is always there to help guide Katsuki, hone in his theatrics and wildfire personality. Katsuki likes that for once there is someone that pushes back at him and won’t just roll right over. Eijirou is a force to be reckoned with, never just taking something lying down and that’s perfect for Katsuki’s boundary pushing tendencies.

He introduced Katsuki to all his friends and gives the pitcher people to trust and fall back on.

Eijirou has engraved into Katsuki’s head that he is a safe space and has proved it many times. Whenever things at home get too hard or Katsuki can’t mental handle seeing Izuku, he will run away to Eijirou and decompress. The catcher hardly minds, doesn’t even complain when Katsuki randomly climbs up and bangs on his bedroom window until it’s opened, just to go in for a long needed rant or pull Eijirou out to practice.

Katsuki let’s loose around Eijirou. Being vulnerable with him (Eijirou is the first person to know about his resent for Izuku and it does stump the Catcher drastically at first).

Eijirou confides in Katsuki just as much, randomly pulling him in for a hug or hanging off him at any chance. The older boy likes to desensitize him a lot.

Eijirou is the happiest guy in school, with the same cheerful spirit as Izuku. He has many friends and knows how to bring the team back into focus when it’s not going their way. They turn to their bright catcher in times of need when the spirit is low.

Side Notes/Scene Cuts

Everyone’s endgame goals are different. For example: Kirishima- Be a really good catcher like his idol, go to the same school and play just as good. Mirio- Catch for a Pitcher as great as Izuku. Tamaki- Keep living through that feeling of striking someone out with Mirio. Bakugou- Be the BEST, finally step beyond his brother’s shadow. Izuku- Just wanted to play pro, never cared about being the best even though he had that potential. Only ever wanted to play forever, to keep going. To stay on the field for as long as possible.

Katsuki was 4 when the incident happened

Their family told Katsuki that Izuku’s disability came from a really bad car crash, (The school doesn’t speak of the incident, pointedly avoids talking about it). I don’t want to give it away, but Izuku wasn’t the one driving the car when it crashed.

Katsuki doesn’t remember anything that happened but he does have a nasty scar from it that he hates. (Rubs the marred tissue as an angry/nervous habit)

To touch back on this^ because the incident was very traumatizing to Katsuki at such a young age and with being told so many times it was a car crash when he asked or over hearing it when he was around- Katsuki’s mind completely pushed everything back and repressed the scene. He also assumes the incident happened well before he was born. Which means, when Izuku does finally say the truth and explains? It’s going to be like he experienced it for the first time, getting bad whiplash from the memories.

The incident happened right after Izuku’s team won a tournament game, they were on their way to win the championship. Literally in the parking lot about ten minutes after winning, and it happened.

When Izuku woke up, they told him he’d never walk again and wouldn’t get to play baseball anymore. His team lost the entire tournament. He never went to college.

Izuku never once looked at baseball again, too pained by it. He couldn’t stand hearing about it or seeing Katsuki talk so happily about the game without breaking down. The incident broke his spirit drastically. This means that he has never gone to a single practice/game for Katsuki. (I touch on why after a few bullets)

Izuku stopped smiling, and shut himself away. He felt cheated, sold short but understood it was his choice. For the first three years after the incident, Izuku was extremely depressed. (He went through years of therapy after, and is in a much better head space now but some days are really hard). He stayed in his room for those years while Katsuki grew up, hallow and crying.

Like, Katsuki went from growing up with a bright and lively brother to having an empty home and empty heart.

Izuku hardly ever leaves his room, sometimes isn’t even there. (Out at his countless Therapy appointments). When Katsuki gets home from school, even on days after practice or a game, the only thing that tells him his brother is home would be Izuku’s shoes at the front door.

Katsuki loved his brother, looked up to him as a role model, someone he wanted to be like. Katsuki still does love Izuku, probably even more now. Izuku was his light, his favorite, the one person Katsuki wanted to impress. To please and get praised by. He was Katsuki’s biggest inspiration and source of happiness. So, when that sunshine went away. When Izuku stopped smiling, stopped leaving his room and laughing. Stopped being himself for the first time in their life, it messed up little Katsuki (which is expected). Because of Katsuki’s personality (which I will change in his younger years for reasons), when Izuku pushed himself away from everyone, wasn’t smiling anymore, started to decline drastically. The boy became hurt and disappointed, not understanding why Izuku was faking his happiness. Couldn’t handle being brushed off (it wasn’t on purpose, it is a forgivable mistake) Katsuki started to become really angry.

That’s initially when he started calling Izuku ‘Deku’. It was a way of expressing and dealing with the anger inside.

Izuku hurt him a few times, put Katsuki on the path to be resentful and dejected.

For example:

- At the age of 5, Katsuki started playing baseball because he loved the game, thanks to Izuku. He came home from his first practice and immediately barged into Izuku’s room with his uniform on and a dirty ball waving about proudly. Little Katsuki told Izuku all about how he caught the ball and even lost a tooth for it. Izuku, of course, praised him because the boy was clearly excited but the cheer in his voice never really reached his eyes. Katsuki could tell he wasn’t being truthful about it and thought Izuku wasn’t proud of him at all (even though Izuku was just trying to hold it together). Their mother quickly pulled Katsuki out of the room and shut the door, telling Katsuki that Izuku is very tired and he is very happy for him. (That cover up worked well for awhile, until Katsuki got older and the let down feeling never really went away when they said it).

- Izuku wouldn’t go to any of Katsuki’s banquets/practices/scrimmages/games/tournaments/team+family dinners. Each time the boy asked over the years, Izuku would apologize with that pained fake smile and say he couldn’t make it. Or their parents would say Izuku was tired/not feeling well/at an appointment and Katsuki would kinda just go “Oh...” and get ready. In the beginning, Katsuki was just so excited and pumped to invite his older brother to everything. Grinning wide and barging in the room (because there was no problem with it before) so he could ask or share his accomplishments with Izuku. Like his first home run, base steal, successful slide into home plate, or just hitting the ball on the first try. Sometimes, Izuku would say he did a good job then close himself off or their mom would call Katsuki out before the man could work up a response. Slowly, Katsuki just stopped going in and started knocking. The door never opened and Izuku hardly answered. After awhile, Katsuki just passed by Izuku’s room. Glancing at the stripped bare wood for a fleeting moment and kept going.

Katsuki grew up upset about not having his brother/feeling like he never had one in the first place and being pushed away. Katsuki festered, grew rancid with resent for the man until he hardly spoke to Izuku. He loves his brother but it’s difficult on both ends. He doesn’t even know really why Izuku is in the wheelchair.

Katsuki remembers walking into his brother’s room to see the man had fallen on the floor, in tears over something in his hand. Katsuki made a surprised noise, stuck in the doorway from the first sight of seeing his older brother so broken. Izuku startled, wiping his eyes and faked a smile while putting the item out of sight. Katsuki went to ask if he was okay but was pulled way quickly so his parents could help Izuku back into the wheelchair.

I want to clarify that their family wasn’t pulling a Elsa&Ana type deal. They just didn’t want Katsuki to grow worried and become upset or possible make the situation worse until Izuku was in the right head space.

Katsuki hasn’t seen the inside of Izuku’s room in too many years, misses the days where he’d climb on his brother’s bed and read Comics the young boy couldn’t even understand yet.

Izuku wants to be there for Katsuki, wants to support him with his dream. To cheer him on in the stands but it’s really hard to be around that atmosphere again without his mind going really critical. He has been going to therapy, talking and slowly building his confidence up. Taking his time to get better so he can support Katsuki but it’s all mental on his part. It’s something Izuku will need to break through on his own.

Izuku does smile more, he’s happier than before but the rift between him and Katsuki never healed.

(On a happier note). Eijirou is really buff and soft. He will randomly pick Katsuki up at night to go for a drive or knock him upside the head when he isn’t all there/being rude. (My Kirishima is going to be a little ooc but it’s for the development of the overall story).

Izuku used to call Katsuki ‘Champ’ or something along those lines and still does whenever they pass each other in the house because I said 😔🥺 hours. Can we just imagine for a moment: Katsuki as a happy little kid, grinning wide and cheering his older brother on in the stands. Izuku coming over with his bright smile and lets Katsuki hug him with excited babbling. Then Izuku puts his Baseball cap on him and says “Thanks, Champ!” And Katsuki’s entire face lights up!!!

I want to play around with everyone’s appearances because this is clearly indulgent so maybe a hoh Katsuki with it having direct ties to the incident? Who knows. Either way, I’m going to have my reasonable fun.

I will probably add more to this post slowly overtime and I’ll just retweet it over and over... not sorry. As I said, this got deleted once already so there is no doubt that I left some things out but this is my big ass plot. Any suggestions? Constructive criticism, go right ahead. This is about the biggest motivation I’ve had to write something in two months so my ass is already rough drafting while writing out some things for @localinferiorgood ‘s amazing Gang AU idea. I have a lot to research and edit before this shit goes public but I’ll see how it goes.

Also, don’t steal my idea. It’s kinda rude. If you get inspired by this or want to write it with your own twist, credit or ask me.

Either way,

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themiscyra1983 · 4 years

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The Elephant In The Room

Let me preface all this by saying I do not have time for assholes. If you come at me with insults and contempt, I will block you.

The other day on Twitter I said the Harry Potter books aren’t good. I said this to a friend but I guess some people just keep an eye out for whatever Harry Potter shit pops up on Twitter and/or the algorithm just likes to spit in people’s eyes because hoooo boy people saw and lost their minds. I blocked two people over it because they decided to be assholes, and had a somewhat terse conversation with someone who was more politely insistent before going, finally, “I’m glad you find joy in something I no longer care for” and putting an end to the conversation.

It’s no particular secret that I’m in the fandom, and prior to J.K. Rowling going full, ‘no plausible deniability here’ transphobe, I’d bought my share of official merch. Frankly I should have stopped that sooner, but it took getting figuratively slapped in the face multiple times before I finally admitted Rowling’s ignorance carried a distinct air of willfulness and malice. Anyway I still HAVE the stuff I bought before, the Ravenclaw crap, the wands I was collecting (no more of that, I fear, though I’d hoped to pick up Tonks and Ginny’s wands at least before I brought an end to it), the Ravenclaw goblet I was gifted from a friend who bought it before JKR passed the plausibly just clueless horizon. There is still much in the world that I love, but much of that love comes now from the creations of others, and I cannot in good conscience spend money in ways that directly benefit Rowling’s financial empire.

And the Harry Potter books are not, in my view, good books. I’ve felt that for a while now. I’ll go a step further: I think they’re dangerous stories to tell children; I think I would be uncomfortable reading them to any children I might have. They are not stories that should be viewed without a critical eye. I loved them as a teenager. I’ve grown more uncomfortable with them - and, as with Twilight, far more comfortable with how critically thinking fans have transformed the work - as time has passed.

This actually has very little to do with the fact that, well...Rowling is not the best writer. Listen. I’m a Power Rangers fan. I’ve watched every incarnation of Star Trek, and every single movie. I have no problem with trashy fiction. You will find me rooting around in the garbage with the finest raccoons. But that is part of it, yes; there are flaws in the craft of it, and I don’t feel that, inherently, we needn’t judge children’s fiction by adult standards. I would argue that the very BEST children’s fiction is also excellent by adult standards. But this is the least of my concerns.

Here are my actual concerns.

Rowling wants credit for declaring Dumbledore gay after the fact, for saying Hogwarts is a safe space for all students in ways not reinforced (and in fact actively contradicted) by the text, for cheering the fan-created same-sex marriage of Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan, but she doesn’t want to take the creative risks that go along with that. When she had the opportunity, with the Fantastic Beasts movies, to make that subtext text, she and her cronies outright declined it. At every opportunity she has shied away from actually putting her high-minded ideas to the page. This is a cowardly choice at best.

Further, Dumbledore’s only canonical love interest (and it is not clear whether the love was requited) was a pretty fascist with whom he fell in, politically, for a time. I get it, we’ve all had crushes on terrible people. But this is literally his one and only love, requited or not, and after he defeats Grindelwald he is left to pine away for the remainder of his days. The one gay love story in the books - if you tilt your head, and squint, and accept Rowling’s word for it - is a tragic one that leaves one man in prison and another celibate and alone and, increasingly, a manipulative bastard who upholds the status quo.

There’s nothing wrong with a tragic love story. I’ve enjoyed quite a few. But when this - THIS - is what you hold up as a triumph of representation, in the absence of ANYTHING else...no. No cookies for you.

Let’s also talk about how I don’t feel Rowling wrote Dumbledore or approaches him with a critical eye. There is NO excuse for leaving a child in an abusive home. No, fuck your blood wards. You’re telling me that Albus Dumbledore - ALBUS DUMBLEDORE - could not devise protections better than leaving Harry with abusive relatives who despised him and everything he stood for? Then, too, when Dumbledore did intervene in Harry’s life, he did so with full knowledge that he was setting Harry up to be a sacrificial lamb, AND WITH THIS SPECIFIC END IN MIND. None of this is acceptable. Dumbledore is a fucking manipulative, abusive bastard who uses people and throws them away, and the fact that it WORKED OUT for Harry does not absolve him of his crimes.

Moving on, and bear in mind I’m still getting my steam up on this whole rant: Seamus Finnegan. Seamus Finnegan is the one canonically, obviously Irish character in the books, named quite stereotypically, but more importantly, in the books and movies, is shown to be interested in (a) liquor and (b) making things explode. He’s REALLY GOOD at making things explode. Do I need to explain why it’s problematic for the one Irish character to blow things up all the time? He also does this in defense of UK wizardry’s status quo, so, you know, even if you were all IRISH FREEDOM FIGHTER YEAH, I assure you he is not that guy.

There is an entire species of sapient magical creatures who exist solely to serve witches and wizards. Hogwarts is run on slave labor and most of the finest wizard families hold slaves. But it’s all right! Only one of them has ever, in the context of the books, wished to be emancipated, and everyone else views Dobby as a weirdo for wishing to be free, and paid for his labor. Dobby, incidentally, later lays down his life for the wizarding savior who tricked his master into freeing him. The only other emancipated house elf we see in the books, Winky, spends her time in a state of drunken depression, rendering her useless and scarcely capable even of caring for herself. She wished to remain enslaved, do you see, and was helpless without the benevolent guidance of her master.

There’s fan work that has tried to address this by exploring a mystically symbiotic relationship between house elves and wizards and witches, and yes, yes, J.K. Rowling is drawing on European folklore here, but let’s not give her credit, okay?

Goblins. Goblins! Goblins have a long history of being antisemitic stereotypes to begin with (hence why I have seen multiple Jews on Tumblr push back HARD on ‘goblincore’), but J.K. Rowling just...right. They’re short, ugly, have hooked noses, generally look like antisemitic cartoon figures. They are locked out of power but control all the wizarding world’s banking, and do so in very usurious ways, for example charging wizards to hold their money, etc. Now this might be an interesting commentary on how Jews have historically been oppressed and forced into fields that goyim felt themselves too ‘pure’ to work in, were it not for the fact that Rowling’s fantasy Jews LITERALLY AREN’T HUMAN, and more, ARE ACTUALLY GREEDY, CONNIVING, AND WILLING TO BETRAY YOU AGAINST THEIR OWN SELF-INTEREST FOR PERSONAL GAIN. FUCKING GOBLINS, MAN.

Then there’s the travesty of Magic in North America, which disrespected the intelligence of Native Americans (none of them figured out you could point a stick at something to make the magic go until white people showed up to help, apparently, but don’t worry, they’re really CLOSE TO NATURE and GOOD AT NATURAL MAGIC), disrespected the beliefs of specific peoples (no, skinwalkers aren’t just misunderstood shapechanging wizards and witches smeared by the greedy and ignorant, you’re whitesplaining actual mythology to the people who hold it sacred), made the ONE wizarding school in America white with an appropriated Native veneer, and generally just...Did Not Get America. As bad as the UK Wizarding World is, Rowling demonstrated complete IGNORANCE regarding the long history of what we now call North America, ignorance of even modern American culture (there’s a reason why American fans particularly tend to ignore the idea that wizardry is locked down tight behind a wall of secrecy here), ignorance and disrespect toward Native populations, and an unwillingness to do the research necessary to do this shit right.

There’s more. There’s blood purity, and gender politics, and Severus Snape’s portrayal, and all kinds of shit that grates, and I’m just tired.

Writers make mistakes. it happens. But Rowling does not recognize her mistakes. She does not seek to make amends. She just barrels on with her shitty opinions, regardless of who she hurts.

it is at the point where I am no longer even willing to thank her for graciously allowing us to play in her sandbox. We don’t need her blessing; the OTW has done far more for fanfic than she has. And it is, indeed, beginning to grate on me that people constantly try to apply Harry Potter metaphors to real life and real politics. As my friend Doc often says, find another book.

I love butterbeer (or at least the knockoffs available outside the Universal parks), I still read fanfic sometimes, I still like to play with ideas like the Harry Potter movies as performed by Muppets, with Dan Radcliffe as Snape and Tom Felton as Lucius. I’m glad the movies brought us a generation of actors, mentored by performers like Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith and so many others, who have gone on to bigger and better things. Much of my merch is packed away, but I still hold on to some of it because it has new meaning for me in light of fanwork, or because (in the case of my Ravenclaw hat and scarf) it’s warm, winters here are cold, I don’t want to buy new shit, leave me alone.

I am accustomed to seeing fans turn trash into treasure. I’ve tried to do it myself. But I feel, quite strongly, that the original text in this case is trash. it is radioactive, stinky trash. You won’t persuade me otherwise, and I’m done apologizing for it. If Rowling wants me to respect her and her work again, she’ll have to earn it, but I’m very trans and she low-key hates my kind, so even if I weren’t a random reader I wouldn’t be holding my breath.

And I really, really need to emphasize to you all that it is okay if people don’t like a given work of fiction. It is okay if people HATE that piece of fiction. You don’t need to change the minds of everyone around you. You absolutely will not succeed in doing so. Please, I’m begging you, make peace with that - and please, I’m begging you, even if you like something, try to consider it critically.

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hagaard · 5 years

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remember when I wrote "My next post will be a writing prompt"? well. lies. it's not done yet 'cuz it's exam period right now, so I essentially have no time for this. instead, I'm going to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time: screaming into the void. I never had a place to scream into the void before, but now I do. I should have started doing this a long time ago... anyways, if you want to read my two cents on the current state of the brony fandom and how I feel about it, then it's under the cut. and if you don't... you're probably right. after all, this is self-indulgent.

So I've been sucked into MLP a few years ago, in the French equivalent of high school. I can't remember when exactly, but I do remember that I was suffering from pretty severe depression. When I discovered the show, which was on a vacation day, I binged the first season in an afternoon, and followed with the second the very next day. It was... different. Refreshing. Bright. Colorful. Happy. I felt like I had found something that I was missing. And I loved it.

I started searching for content online. I found forums, websites, fiction repositories... all in French, since I hadn't learnt English at the time. But the content was... disappointing? Not what I was looking for. The big forum I joined was very toxic. I still have an account there, but I never visit. The fiction repository was better, but still had its fair share of drama. I wasn't satisfied. The bulk of the content was locked behind a language barrier.

I tore it down in a few months. A few months is all it took me to go from "hello-how-are-you-goodbye" to a good enough level that I was able to understand most of what I was reading. Not everything, of course. But enough. And from there, I would only go up. That's so emotionally invested I was; and, despite this, I could never talk about all of this to anyone. I was constantly looking for new content, but I was so anxious about myself and talking about what I liked that I never really got to talking to the content creators I was adoring. I never talked to anyone about the happiness they filled my life with. I was having suicidal thoughts, but here they were, with their beautiful stories about pastel horses doing stuff. It kept me alive, and I never thanked them. I didn't talk to my own therapist about this, and yet I could have trusted this man with my life! That's how anxious I was talking about my hobbies.

During all this time, I was vaguely aware of the controversies about the fandom. To outsiders, we were a joke. A black sheep, to point at and laugh at. And I don't know how to feel about this, because now, I feel... they can be right. I'd like to say we generally have a safe and welcoming community. I'd love to say that everyone in the MLP fandom is nice and kind. But I feel like I can't say this. There is an uncomfortable number of alt-right sympathizers (read: fascists) that proudly wear MLP badges and such. There are an uncomfortable number of misogynistic assholes within the community. The fandom often gets angry over little nothings. I have met a number of homophobic, transphobic people within the community. I feel like Hasbro is uncomfortable of our very existence because of this.

I still remember that one guy in one of the forums I was visiting, that had as a signature (roughly translated): < "Lesbian ponies" is lunacy, and the worst idea the fandom ever came up with. > I didn't understand why this made me so uncomfortable while younger. Now I know why. It's the idea that lesbian cartoon ponies, homosexual fictional characters, should be treated as fucking jokes, that made me uncomfortable. This guy had no issues shipping a mare with a stallion. At the exact moment it was two mares together (and considering the very balanced cast of 90% mares, which I'm not complaining about by the way, the target is supposed to be girls), it was a joke. It wasn't serious. It was lunacy. This guy couldn't understand w/w pairings as anything else than a joke.

Holy shit.

Also. Adult content! I would usually argue against talking about the adult part of any fandom, 'cuz they're generally a more niche thing? I think? But when half of the featured box in your biggest fanfiction repository, fimfiction.net, is smut fiction, I'd also argue it's a part significant enough that you'll want to talk about it, so here we are. MLP adult content is like any content. There is the better part, which is... cute ponies having fun and it's also hot. And that may be just my perception, but I feel like that's not what the bulk of the content is. We get a lot more of... general sexism, rape, gore, exaggeration, "extreme" content. And y'know, if porn is your thing and you're able to dissociate the reality from what you watch, then go nuts or something. But as the audience gets younger (we used to get a lot of 40s in the fandom, now most who join are 15 or whatever), you'll also expose people that don't have the tools to deal with this stuff and will confuse it with reality. And I really think we as a fandom don't generally put up enough content warnings for that. Not nearly enough. (also. foalcon. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HAIRY. STOP DOING THAT.)

A whole lot of other shit, too! Weird ships that are both popular and potentially abusive! I used to ship Twilestia, aka a student and her mentor/motherly figure, which is NOT FINE! unless you screw with the canon to change a lot of things in their relationships. Don't get me started on Lunestia, they are SISTERS STOP DOING THIS INTERNET! Outside of shipping wars, now, there was that debate on one featured fic about whether making a joke about transgender people being traps and transwomen being disgusting was fun: it was a terrible joke, stop calling out others for being "overly sensitive". Fallout: Equestria, the crossover that literally split the fandom in half! That is not a joke. And what would be a good fandom without its edgy fiction where the entire country gets brainwashed, the women are now all slaves, the men are now all phallocentred assholes that spend their free time thing about sex or raping every woman they see? I'll tell you what it would be: A MUCH BETTER FANDOM. This story is literally "what if I narrated a game of FATAL"? And it's awful, of course, but also, absolutely exhausting.

So I stopped seeking MLP-related content. I was so focused on the negatives, at some point, I couldn't take it anymore. I took a pause. I stopped checking for updates on stories I was following, stopped making searches. Despite this, I was still reading stuff about other things. There sometimes was a joke about how bronies were all ugly fat kissless virgins, and it always hurt me to read it, because I knew it was a lie. But sometimes, I believed it. I never really got a chance to talk to anyone about this.

I'm glad I can now. I should have created my own little corner to scream into the void a long time ago. I should be able to talk about my interests, rather than reading what others think about them. Everybody should relieve themselves of the pressure sometimes. Can you believe I never once did that? I used to had a blog somewhere else, but the platform was and still is absolute garbage.

welp, here ends the rant. better post this on my tumblr too until I chicken out like I did with that infodump about that one game nobody cares about.

#mlp #rant #fandom #fandoms #shameless self indulgent post

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avani008 · 6 years

Text

TLJ Reaction Post

Short version: meh.

Longer version: behind the cut for length, disorganized rambling, general grumpiness, and spoilers. I haven’t really looked at anyone else’s reaction posts yet, so I’m sure my opinions could very well be diametrically opposed to everyone else’s, in which case....oops?

*I have mixed feelings about Poe’s actions in the first scene: one would think he’d have learned to be more pragmatic over the years, but that said, a plot arc (with Leia!) about learning to make hard choices as a leader is exactly the sort of character arc that I usually love....except when it comes at the cost of an idiot plot (see below.) But! At least Poe didn’t get stuck with a ridiculous romantic subplot and has an excellent chance of making it through the last film alive. He probably got the best deal of all three new leads, TBH.

* I also like Rose, quite a lot! I like her being idealistic and clever and determined, and she plays off Finn well. Which made me SO disappointed that her overall role is third leg of a LOVE TRIANGLE, of all things. (Star Wars doesn’t even do love triangles! At least not when two of the people involved aren’t awkwardly related to each other. And I hate how fandom will inevitably feel the need to pit her against Rey :( )

*That said, clearly Rose’s sister had to die horribly, because heaven forbid we have more than one POC female character featured. I liked her in her brief appearance, though.

* Holdo! I have mixed feelings overall. Morally dubious, smart, and ultimately tragic female leaders are some of my favorite character tropes (Everyone in Baahubali fandom is SHOCKED to hear this, I’m sure.) and also I loved Leia having a friend/alternative shipping option during the time she and Han were estranged. But: there was absolutely no reason for her to be so antagonistic to Poe, and his sudden dislike to her before he’s even met her doesn’t do him any favors either. We’re supposed to guess that the reason she doesn’t reveal her plan is because of a possible spy, which....um, how did the first order get the tracking coordinates in the first place? Did I miss that? Anyway, even if that is her reasoning, if she’s so close to Leia, surely she knows Poe is her protege and can be trusted. I’m not saying she has to announce her plans over the loudspeaker, but taking him aside to allay his concerns seems perfectly sensible and I can’t understand why she didn’t do that.

* Also Google informs me that Holdo first appears in a tie-in and has been compared to Luna Lovegood. Guys, I can’t imagine a character less like Luna than movie! Holdo; what am I missing?

*Which is as good a time as any to scream about Rey and how much her plot arc suffered the second Ben got involved. I’d happily watch a cut that was all her developing her Jedi powers, cut to the rescue on Crait and her “just moving rocks” scene. But no, instead she gets this long involved subplot with Ben that’s just....For me to believe that Rey has so much invested in his redemption, Ben needed to play the roles Finn and Han played in the first movie: the first people to value her, to help her, to come back for her. Instead Ben killed one of them and hurt the other before her eyes (yes, I screamed internally when he gave her the “join me” spiel.) Hell, I’d even have taken Han begging her to save Ben as his dying wish; or perhaps the AU where she’s Han and Leia’s adopted daughter taken in after Ben’s fall with all the complicated relationships that entails; but as is, it’s every toxic shipping dynamic that I hate.

*Okay, it’s time for the Ben rant (note: I do call him “Ben,” but that’s because I find I’m most attached and invested to the original trio, and as they all consistently call him “Ben”) Waking up to find your uncle and teacher trying to kill you is clearly traumatic!....But the appropriate response to that is not to turn around and do the same thing to your fellow students, who had nothing to do with this as far as we know. Nor is it to commit genocide knowingly. Nor is it to kill your unarmed father, who is specifically mentioned as not wanting you to be trained as a Jedi to start with, in cold blood. Also, even if we want to blame it on Snoke....Ben keeps on going even after Snoke’s death. At this point, he is beyond redemption for me; and Leia, at least, seems to agree.

That said, Luke: “If you cut me down, I’ll stay with you forever!”

Ben: *immediately slashes at him with his lightsaber*

...Methinks Bhalla and Ben probably need the same therapist.

*Leia flying in the vacuum of space was ridiculous. The CGI looked off to me, the science makes no sense, and we’ve never before seen that the Force can do such a thing, any more than we have astral projection (? But then how was Luke able to touch Leia’s hand or transfer the dice from the Falcon?) That said, I’m so glad she survived :)

* I was less happy with Luke’s plotline. First off, my! Luke would never be so pointlessly hostile and rude—I get the sense that his montage of going around the island was supposed to be funny, but no one in my theater laughed at least. But more egregiously, with regards to trying to kill his own nephew: LUKE WOULD NEVER. I just don’t buy it, at all, ever; this is LUKE SKYWALKER, the man who inherited his mother’s heart, the man who refused to kill Darth Vader. To think that he would, even for a second, CONSIDER murdering his sleeping nephew is completely incompatible with my understanding of his character. The scene with Yoda was better, as was the climax, but it’s not enough to overcome everything that had come before.

* Chewbacca and the original droids were sadly underused, most blatantly R2. I liked the one R2 and Luke scene but....how was that Luke had only the one interaction with his beloved droid?

* If he was going to be killed off so abruptly, I’d really have liked an explanation as to who Snoke is, how he found Ben and came into contact with him, what his actual goals are? But I guess that won’t be an option now.

* The porgs and the crystal fox-things were cute!

* Probably an unpopular opinion, but I actually was okay with Rey just being an orphan without connections to the Solo-Skywalkers. I know the story is largely a family saga, but I’m ok with the message being that bloodlines don’t matter (once again, the adopted Rey AU could emphasize this so much more). That said I’m still confused as to why Rey apparently has dreamed of Luke’s island before: this clearly isn’t something all Force sensitive kids do, so why her?

* Also, the pacing seemed a little off to me? I expected that the big Rey/Ben/Snoke duel was the climax and then the film went on for another thirty or so minutes, which seemed rather too much to me.

* Finally, I’ve mentioned this before to some of you, but overall what I find most disappointing about the new trilogy is how cylical everything seems to be. Leia is an overworked politician again, Han an unscrupulous smuggler; and just like Ben Kenobi, Luke is a hermit mourning the failure of his attempt at mentor ship for years. Actually Ben at least had the purpose of watching over Luke; Luke apparently abandoned his sister and the galaxy just to go wallow (LUKE WOULD NEVER!). The galaxy is at war, again, there’s the Sith back again, and whereas RotJ closed on a wealth of possibility for the characters, promising closure from the sadness of the past, the sequels just leave me wondering: “what was the point, then?” I was honestly expecting that watching this movie would make me want to write much more in this fandom, but honestly, the disconnect between how I see the characters and how the creators do is so great that I don’t feel I can do it justice.

That said, that is mostly me venting, mostly because of my own subjective tastes. If you guys enjoyed watching the movie, I’m super happy to hear that! We all need something to cheer us up these days :) I hope that you can all forgive my grumping and overall pettiness, haha.

#Star Wars spoilers #tlj spoilers #grumpiness #sometimes avani blogs about other stuff #also I just got back from the theater so apologies if this is largely incoherent

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