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thespineoftherighteous · 2 years

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I'd love to hear your thoughts on the upper classmen being a mirror to each monster? That's not an idea I've seen before and I am Intrigued.

oooh anon this is such a scrumptious delicious concept thanks for asking. but also I definitely wasn't the first one to come up with this..there was a post I saw last year? the year before? that broke the parallels down really well. I'll try to find it

anyway so I think the basis of it is that each of the upperclassmen mirror one of the monsters in regards to the main issues they struggle with. more than that though they represent what it's like to find a way to live through those problems, that overcoming them can be done, because they're more developed, more matured than the monsters. and, because by the end of the series all the monsters have grown a lot from where they were at the beginning, you can see them at a point (or getting to a point) in life not unlike where their respective upperclassman is.

there's Matt and Aaron: both of them struggled hugely with drug addiction (influenced by their parents), both of them were at a point where shit could've gone downhill fast and both of them were forced out of it by the same person. although Matt technically got clean after Aaron, he seemed to get mentally healthier much faster (which makes sense given the difference in relationships, support, goals, etc of their situations). Matt immediately sees it as a chance given to him to start over; Aaron, perhaps because he still had something as equally consuming as drugs- Andrew and his deals- doesn't seem to evolve in that way until close to the end of the series. you can also see how they resemble each other in how they don't respond to provoking shit as much as the rest of the team (they're like the chill ones of their respective groups, with different vibes) but they will rise to violence if someone they care about is threatened.

Allison and Nicky are an easy one to see, I think. both of them had families who wanted them to be a certain way, who would rather kick them out than accept them as they were. the difference between them is that Allison has accepted it with a "fuck them" attitude while Nicky (as far as mid-trk) still reaches out, still wants to have a relationship with them. he still desperately craves that love and acceptance so much that he almost voluntarily keeps getting hurt, in a way that Allison has already decided isn't worth it.

there's Renee and Andrew: both deadly protective, these are the goalies, the protectors, the ones watching everyone's backs; both had unfathomably awful childhoods and both cover up/protect themselves from said childhoods in particular ways. Renee is on relatively good terms with the universe while Andrew, as in control as he makes himself out to be, is searching for something he thinks he could never have..for purpose, and for the nothing that he finds in Neil. with these two, it's never that Andrew's boundaries and distrust of others are things he needs to grow out of but that Renee represents a different response- she becomes the kindness she was never shown, he holds a knife to anything that could hurt him again.

Dan and Kevin: they're the ones that could've done everything right but still would've had circumstances work against them. they might be good but, according to others, they're not good enough, always dismissed, always overshadowed. the stark difference between them is that Kevin believes in the 2 on his face (until he doesn't) and Dan never does. the doubt bounces off Dan while Kevin absorbs it like sponge until someone like Andrew wrings it out of him. Kevin puts his full weight on his support (until he doesn't); Dan's never had that support to begin with so she only knows how to live without it. Dan knows her worth and will project it in bright orange writing, Kevin was taught his worth in finite numbers, so long as his feet stay on the court, and he's never certain of it (until he is). the glorious thing about this, though, is that you can literally see on page when Kevin overcomes this. it takes every fucking ounce of his strength but he gets the tattoo. he walks out with his stick in his left hand. he beats Riko, in ever way. it's magnificent. (I digress)

and then there's Seth and Neil. I think they could be interchangeable with Dan and Kevin actually but I like this one better. I don't think they necessarily mirror each other as cleanly as the others and I don't want to force it for sake of having everyone neatly paired off. but shit... they're the end and the beginning, respectively. Neil is the first success story, the embodiment of what Wymack's team stands for, Seth is an example of why that's what it stands for. Neil has no life, Seth has no use for his. Seth falls victim to the fate Neil spent years of his life running away from.

all that being said. it's not to say that the upperclassmen have completely healed from their pasts and don't have plenty issues of their own. I think anyone can see that *all* of the foxes have room to grow. it's just that they're a lot more developed in where they're at in life. and I think the monsters are not all at the same place in their healing because that's not something that's linear and it's not always as easily seen as a tattoo on the face. I think Kevin and Neil, for example, are at a more adjusted place by the end of tkm (Neil more so) but you can see all of them heading in better directions.

it's also not to say that to Heal™ the monsters have to be exactly where the upperclassmen are. that's also not how it works. but it is working. and (hot take? maybe?) I think that's something Nora does well. she lets them grow. their growth isn't always on page or in the definitive shape of a queen tattoo or finished by the end of the series but it is certainly there.

#AKSHDJAKAJSJA CAN YOU TELL I GOT DISTRACTED WITH THE KEVIN ONE #just went off like alSO my boy can do THIS and he's so good at THAT and he's so so super special #anyway anon this took me two hours to write because i was thinking very much and i just read it over and its kind of shit but i hope you #dont hate this #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #mine aftg

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 5 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/the-obnoxious-sibling/735283406764752896/thats-also-how-i-always-saw-shanks-reaction-but

Anon from this ask!

I’m so glad I decided to send that ask to you. You’re so right.

But I must admit my “But I wonder what he would think if he knew the real reason why Buggy left him?” Was worded wrong, I’m sorry English is not my first language and I have troubles with expressing myself. What I meant is if that knowledge would change shanks view right now, like he founds out the reason. I wonder if he would be less accepting of buggy just choosing his way vs knowing he broke his heart

But your answer made me wonder so much about everything. I wonder if anyone in shanks crew knows about why he waited so long. And exactly what you pointed out. How would Buggy react to “actually I NEED to wait”.

WHY THEY CAN’T JUST TALK GOD DAMMIT

hello again, anon! (i have been wondering how many of you are unique vs returning askers! it's nice to know at least one of you has come back for more~)

please don't feel any need to apologize for your english! i was the one who misunderstood that you meant shanks learning the truth now, not shanks being told the truth at the time. that’s on me!

so. shanks as he is now—thirty-nine, an emperor of the sea, boss of a good ship and crew, protector-captain of a massive fleet, finally going after the one piece—learns that the reason the first person he asked to sail with him refused was because shanks didn’t want to go after the one piece when he was fifteen.

would shanks think differently of buggy for feeling rejected by shanks’ decision, and not sincerely wanting to go his own way? i think he must! if your best friend leaves because they have their own plans that don’t involve you, that’s one thing… if they leave because you failed to live up to their (unspoken!) expectations of you, that’s quite another!

thinking about it like that, i wonder if shanks might be mad, or disappointed, to learn that buggy left because shanks wasn’t the person buggy had been imagining him to be. because on one hand: shanks isn’t responsible for the shanks buggy made up inside his head! he isn’t beholden to the way buggy thought that false shanks would act, or the things buggy imagined he believes. that’s on buggy! and on the other: if the person you thought knew you best can misjudge you so badly they run away from the real you… it must shed a dim light on your whole relationship.

…but maybe it’s been long enough that it would just make him sad. it’s a decades-old hurt by now, and with the way shanks dislikes and avoids conflict there’s no way he keeps grudges or clings to hurt feelings. so it might just be a passing feeling of sadness—ah, so even buggy thought too highly of me, huh?

i think benn beckman must know at least a bit of shanks’ plans. that’s his first mate, after all! there has to be trust there, or the whole crew falls apart! as for the rest of the red-haired pirates… i don’t think we know them well enough to say whether any of them would need truth to offer trust. i suspect most of them don't, that they trust shanks unconditionally, and will follow his lead wherever it takes them.

and buggy… i don’t think he wants to trust shanks, but for a long time trusting shanks was as easy as breathing, so it's a hard habit to break. (though shanks makes it easier the more he betrays that trust, however good his motives or minor the deception.) i think if shanks had said, back in roguetown, that they needed to wait, buggy would have whined and complained and begged shanks to reconsider, but he would’ve gone along with it. if buggy found out about that now, i think he’d snap that you could have just said so back then! stupid shanks, didn't you trust me?!

to which the answering silence must be a new flavor of the old heartbreak, because no, apparently he did not.

#asked and answered #this took an age because i kept trying to find a way to end this post that wasn’t on a bleak sad note. i failed 🙃#sorry anon! hope you weren’t expecting a happy answer to this one #anyway thinking about sacrifice in op. giving up your life for love. your body for the next generation. your pride for your friend’s sake.#buggy doesn’t appreciate that kind of sacrifice. i think we have a pretty good sense for why that is by now.#and i don’t think shanks would appreciate the kind of sacrifice buggy tried to make for him.#‘your dreams are the whole point! how can you put anything before that?!’ ← something like that.#one piece #shuggy #shanks #buggy #*the shuggy roguetown breakup #*abandoned dreams #*shuggy miscommunication #*types of sacrifice #*shanks hides his feelings

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neolxzr · 6 days

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Literally a genuine question no ill intent

What do you like about Aira? As much as people are absolutely adamant Akira is projecting (I really don't think he is (I'm not saying Akira is innocent) I just think he's trying to address the prejudiced thoughts the average Japanese person will have on the Ainu) Aira's weird comments and behaviour to Hiiro have been there since day one. And I also think Aira being the one who says all this is because he's supposed to reflect the fans and the average Japanese fan probably isn't that educated on the Ainu + there can be a good few racist enstars fans...

I'm not trying to sound heated about this I'm just coming from a genuine place, what appeal is there in Aira?

Also, as much as the Aira fans are talking about blaming Akira, I feel like there should absolutely be a focus on Hiiro right now considering that comment was... yknow said to him. I just think we should actually be talking about the Amagis considering that comment was intended to discuss the Amagis and their culture and the discrimination they go through.

i had someone ask me a similar question once but not in the context of all thats happening currently so you can read that here if youre inclined

buuuut what made me like aira so much in the first place was honestly that his concept as a character is really funny. i made a post a long while back that went into the funny meta jokes that you could make using aira as a character before i really knew much about enstars at all. having a character in your idol series that loves idols and canonically reads fanfic about them is just a funny concept in general. and as i continued to read more he continued to be funny and annoying and endearing (his little mini interaction with midori comes to mind immediately. there is something wrong with him)

also i tend to gravitate towards characters that give me like. little sibling energy. i love having a favorite little guy to dote on

but afterwards what really drew me to him was the main story!! thermometry specifically comes to mind (ouuugh,,,,). his feature scout stories are also great and so is feather touch! i wont like. go into detail really cause my blog is covered in me talking about aira already

his dynamic with hiiro is one of my favorites too, especially in mainstory. their dynamic isnt JUST aira says shitty things to hiiro and thats it. their relationship develops really far to the point where aira admits that he needs hiiro as much as hiiro needs him. they're young and inexperienced and kind of codependent as they're trying to keep themselves from going under in a sort of cutthroat industry. i think thats really neat. their relationship is really sweet to me and aira is a great tsundere type of character. he regularly is shown to actually like hiiro a lot as mean as he can be to him sometimes i.e. here. and you know the whole holding hands thing (which they also fucked up in the climax story but Whatever)

theres also this. which i think about regularly. the hiiai shipping fuel is vast

and additionally i think aira has some really great relationships with other characters too, alkaloid especially. feather touch develops his relationship with tatsumi a lot and its one of my favorite aira moments. i couldnt find my screenshots for this one but basically aira gives tatsumi his unlocked phone (something VERY important to aira since hes a little screenager) and it shows tatsumi just how much aira trusts him and he realizes how important aira is as a friend to him. being someone with a history like him aira's friendship is sort of new to him and it helps them both grow

he loves his friends so so much and he’s had a positive impact on all of alkaloid. he is its heart after all

but in any case i'm not going to like, defend myself for liking aira. i am aware that the shitty stuff has been there from the start but i've said something similar in the past that was like. aira isn't real and he cannot take accountability for what he says. he's a character written by real people who doesn't have any control over how he acts. so i guess that's why when i think the writers write something i dont think he would do or say in my own personal aira opinion i can sort of brush it off as just bad writing.

and not in the sense that i dont recognize that enstars sucks, because it does. enstars can be terribly racist sometimes and not just when concerning aira, and thats important to talk about (i.e. the orient cards, the king of thieves cards, etc). but at the end of the day the most important thing to recognize is the people and company behind the game as well as the real people who play the game and are affected by it. and not like, the specific characters in the game. cause they didn't actually do anything or feel anything you know

#cryn answers #anon #enstars #media analysis #im a miraculous ladybug fan im used to pretending that the thing i like is better than it actually is lmfao #was including sources for what im saying too much??#anyway i didnt even touch on airas own experiences with racial discrimination #i dont think its written perfectly so thats why i didnt talk about it but its an important aspect of his character too #and an important part in his place in alkaloid #also i hope i dont come off as rude or upset in this anon #i appreciate you being respectful #but also im a little tired of talking about this ill admit it #i enjoyed rambling about aira again im just like :( that its cause of all the discourse and whatever happening right now #blegh #i think its kind of like. i mean if you only hear little tidbits of what a character is like through twitter screenshots #youre not gonna have a full picture #and i think thats how it is for a lot of enstarries with aira #and thats not a jab at anyone i dont know jackshit about like. mama or undead or fine or akatsuki. and thats fine #theres too many characters for me to know everything about everyone #but with aira specifically his only character trait to the people who dont produce alkaloid is 'the racist one'#and that sucks #but anyways. thats all i have in me for now

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jtl07 · 8 months

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What are your thoughts on the OCS?

Sometimes it seems like a manipulative cult that recruits vulnerable girls. But, it's also this found family for many of them. Is it good or evil? Is it both?

oh buddy. i ... actually have been having thoughts about this for the past few days (what is it with y'all being on my brainwave? must be something in the universe idk) as in, i've been contemplating the parallels between the OCS and the military.

so for context, i'm coming at this as a person who was in the military, who is a female poc from a middle class immigrant asian family. i give this context because i see a lot of the military in the OCS (i've mentioned it in some of my write ups and a big part of why i ended up writing the top gun 2 au) - mostly because the OCS is presented as an organization with a methodology that is built on violence.

i tried my best to be coherent but there's likely some meandering - feel free to ask further questions or clarification.

tl;dr - imo, it's all of the above.

i'm going to start with my experience in the military before i talk about the OCS because there's something in me that's chafing at the word "vulnerable." it's not that i think it's the wrong word per se, but that there's context that's needed.

for me, i had several family members who were in the military: my dad for one, several uncles, and a handful of my older cousins. this means i grew up learning that the military was a) one of the most honorable, respectable, and coolest professions you could join, b) the only profession where you were judged solely on your performance (i.e. racism wasn't overt), c) great financially because the pay was transparent and the benefits (back in the day) were fantastic if you stayed til retirement.

i don't believe any of that anymore, but that's what i'd learned. this is what my family believed (still does, actually). this is what many other poc believed too. compared with the opaque, racist corporate world - and having the responsibility of taking care of one's parents, who'd immigrated from their home country to give you "a better life" - having something stable and honorable like the military seemed like the best choice. why would i choose something else? how could i even see anything else? the military was the only choice i knew.

i left the military over a decade ago, but there's still a part of me that thinks "i'll never top my time in the military; i'll never have an experience quite like that." and the larger part of me can acknowledge now that yes, that's true. because when you're in an organization like the military (and comparatively, like the OCS) it's exhilarating in a way, knowing that you're part of something that's larger than yourself, knowing that you were deemed worthy - that you proved that you were worthy - of being part of this elite, special organization that has this grand, noble, world-saving mission. and yes, you feel a bond with the folks you serve with - bound by a vow to serve and protect, bound by experiences only they will understand.

there's nothing quite like that.

and i never want to experience that again.

because yes, it's exhilarating and exciting, and it's addicting in a way - to do all these cool things that folks make movies about, to know you're doing your part in keeping the people you love safe, to build relationships where no matter what, they've got your back.

but it's blinding. it blinds you to the violence, the harm that you're inflicting in the name of the mission - on both others and your own self. it blinds you to other ways of living. it blinds you to other ways of being safe - on both a personal and national level. this kind of experience trains you constantly: "this is the only way; this is the only choice."

and you can probably see why Beatrice's backstory resonated with me. of course she chose the church, the OCS - this was the only choice she had, the only choice she could possibly make to prove herself, to make herself worthy. in the OCS, she found a community of folks who, like her, were committed to a mission and ready to give their lives because, like her, that was probably the only choice they thought they had. it was the best choice they had.

maybe that's why i chafe at the use of "vulnerable" - because at the time, choosing the military felt like my shot at redemption, at salvation. it wasn't a moment of weakness, but of strength.

at least, that's what i had been trained to believe. and there is, apparently, still a part of me that believes it. even though there's the larger part of me that can see now the ecosystem that forced my hand.

it's also why i love Ava as a protagonist - how she was determined to find another way, how desperate she was to live. because organizations that are built on violence, organizations like the military, like the OCS, it takes folks who believe they need to prove themselves and takes advantage of that need, forces them to carry more than any person ever should, then calls them noble, calls them honorable, calls them worthy - all the while training them, ultimately, to die.

does good sometimes result from that, grow out of that? yeah. but the cost is very, very high.

#idk anon this got really rambly #i just can't not see the military when i think of the ocs #and when i think of the military it still tugs at me #there was this one quora post a while back that explained how marine bootcamp is basically psychological retraining #bc like no one's first response is to run towards gunfire #and it takes a certain belief in one's self to sign up for that kind of thing #but it's a belief that is taught through culture and through the system #a belief that you get caught up in like a web and you don't even know it when you're in it #... why did i choose this analogy i hate spiders wtf self #anyway #anon i hope this is what you were looking for #but if not feel free to ask further questions #other folks can ask too it's cool #jt answers #jt rambles #warrior nun

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revvethasmythh · 2 months

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That Specific Take TM is part of what led me to stop watching critical role entirely. Wouldn’t go so far as calling myself a “stan” of Nott, but I adored her. And I adored her progression into being comfortable with being Veth. But it feels like people see what they want to see far more than they see the character that’s been portrayed… TLDR I sympathize entirely, it’s kind of miserable to know so many people dislike characters you find very compelling for how they are portrayed simply because they are misinterpreting that portrayal at a rather fundamental level!

I actually do not think a take like that stems from dislike! Misinterpretation, yes, but misinterpretation is not always connected to disliking a character. Like, as many insane and wrong takes I've seen about Orym that have popped up during c3, the OPs of those posts often do not necessarily dislike Orym (at least, so they say). They just have a particular perspective that is not, uh, correct if you actually engage with the textual evidence. I think re: this take in particular, it really does come from a sense of disappointment that the dynamic between Nott and Caleb didn't maintain course, that the Veth reveal did irrevocably alter the dynamic.

Which--okay, there's a lot going on with that, and I think people who were overly attached to the "dynamic" over the individual characters involved tend toward Caleb-specific fans (hence how he's the listless sad boi of the post, the queer neurodivergent guy, while Veth is cast as a flat perfectly happy straight neurotypical woman (that was painful even just to write, but that is what the post is positing), and ignorant of all of Caleb's sad boi feelings--which of those descriptions is going to be more relatable/sympathetic to your average tumblr user, you know?), and if you were to track fandom engagement with Nott as a character, I feel like you would find a significant drop-off of investment in her after the Veth reveal. Because she yelled at Caleb, she altered the dynamic, her story separated from his story, she moved away from him narratively, and when the focus was placed more fully on herself and her character details, I suspect a lot of people drifted away from her. Because Nott was Caleb's funny sidekick and qpr and loving mother all rolled into one, and it's just not the same if she is a married woman, a mother, with goals of her own that may--and do--cause her to shift away from her very tight relationship with Caleb. In the eyes of a lot of people, she was there to serve at the altar of the dynamic, and her role was to support Caleb. Breaking the dynamic is a cardinal sin--it's similar to the way some people react so weirdly to the Nein all splitting ways after the finale. There's that deep attachment to The Dynamic, the Found Family, that rifts and conflicts and alterations to the dynamic are distressing to people and they'll come up with similarly incorrect metas full of projections and act like they're canon as a reaction to that.

So, instead of "dislike", I think perhaps the better word to sub in there is "disinterest." If people cleave so strongly to the original representation of the dynamic, when alterations to it are made they are disinterested in letting themselves be invested in, think deeply about, and care for the new dynamics created, because they're too tethered to a thing that was already lost--OR never really existed the way they're imaging to begin with.

#also I'm sorry bad take like these made you drop the show!#stepping back from fandom can sometimes be necessary to really enjoying the media #I was lucky to have about 85-90 episode of the second campaign to watch on my own w/o fandom before getting involved #which I think was overall a good thing #but even with the current campaign if you have the right people on your dash who you can talk to and agree with #it makes the bad takes feel a lot more like background noise. annoying background noise yeah but stuff you can ignore ultimately #anyway I hope this response was on topic because it kind of felt like I was but also like I was not I really can't tell #oh also re: wondering if fandom engaged less w/veth after 47--that's speculation #informed speculation but I--as previously stated--was not involved in the fandom at the time #so I'm not sure exactly how it shook out when those eps were airing #retrospectively I think it is true that people are less interested in veth than they were with nott though #which is where my point stands #anon #asks

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randomnameless · 8 months

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I feel like it's not even worth it to even attempt to discuss Three Houses with Edelstans any more. They're not even talking about Fire Emblem 16 any more but rather some combination of Treehouse's and their own fanfiction.

Well,

I'd say everything boils down to what you expect from a discussion, sometimes I don't reply because I'm lazy and everything's been said, and some other times, when an edelstan reblogs or sometimes comment on one of my post, I'm just considering what will be the probable outcome, and if I have enough time to waste with it.

Granted, I reconsidered Claude's actions in Sreng thanks to someone pointing it out, so I guess that counts as a positive interaction?

But whenever the discussion grows around "grooming" "State of Quo" "Crusts" I know it's usually a sign that whatever will follow isn't worth both time and effort. Then some other signs are the tone of the post, the aggressivity and whetever or not the person posting it has set as their goal to "convert" you to their side, or just to be agressive against what they perceive as "an enemy".

Like, seriously, it's fandom, go argue your headcanons with someone else by writing a fic, instead of sharing your salt with people who don't really need the sodium intake.

#anon #replies #fandom woes #it's kind of sad we have to come to this but #there is a difference between a discussion and discourse #early FE16 fandom looked like it wanted a discussion but it was actually a lot of discourse #another clue : whenever you give a source and the other replies with dude trust me without sourcing anything #i remember old fandom jugdral discussions back then they were fun it wasn't discoursey at all #i think it's the agressivity that really pissed me in the recent years like wtf #it's just a game why personal attacks or insults like dude #anyways i hope this behaviour won't be around when Jugdral echoes will be released #it if ever is released

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drunktuesdays · 1 year

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Ten (and Final) (!)

[one ] [two] [three] [four] [five] [six] [seven] [eight] [nine]

"What does that mean?" Garcia says finally, blinking at him.

"Like I said, I'm an asshole—"

"Not that," Garcia snaps, slicing his hand through the air irritatedly. "You came here for me? I thought you ain't wanna be around me no more."

"That's why I'm apologizing! If you'd listen—"

"Why?" Garcia said.

"Why? Because I'm talking, and that's how a conversation goes—" If he thought the kid was doing it on purpose, he'd probably try and throttle him right now. But Eddie can tell Garcia's not being difficult to make Eddie crazy. He's genuinely standing there looking bewildered.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and rolls his shoulders, cracks his neck. "I was an asshole to you," he repeats again, slow and serious. "I was mad at you—I thought you were gonna bond Yuta, and I wanted to hurt you first—"

"Yuta?" Garcia's brow creases in confusion. "What, just because he's an omega? Because you think I should want—"

"No, because I saw the pay-per-view fight. I was watching 'cuz I was proud of you, and I wanted to see—and you—in the ring—you bit him like you were gonna—-"

The kid's face reddens immediately and his shoulders hunch with shame. "That's not—when I'm in the ring, sometimes I get—you know how it gets for me—"

"Yeah," Eddie says. "I know. I know that now. I know you ain't want Yuta. And Yuta said he don't want you—"

"Yeah, he'd be fucking lucky," Garcia mutters, still looking down miserably.

"Yeah he would," Eddie agrees. "So I acted like an asshole because I didn't want to admit that the idea pissed me the fuck off. And I'm sorry for that." He waited a beat and finally, Garcia looked up and met his eyes. Eddie held his gaze, trying to make his sincerity as real as it felt to him. Garcia nodded, a sharp, short thing.

Eddie exhaled. "So," he said, and he felt like he was stepping off of the planned out road onto unknown wilderness. "If you're not planning to bond Yuta, and I know you're not—and if there's no one else you are planning to bond—I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I wanted to say." Jesus Christ, he's never sounded so fucking stupid, so incoherent. "I wanted to offer. I mean, I know it wouldn't work the same for us, but if you wanted—we could—Shit. Hang on, I can do this better. Lemme start over."

"Don't even," Garcia said, interrupting him. "What the hell are you even talking about? Did I ever ask you to bond with me?"

"No," Eddie says, startled. "But everyone's been coming up to me—"

"Who gives a fuck about everyone," the kid says viciously. "I don't give a shit—I'm young, bro. I got years left for all that. That's never what I was asking for. That's never what I came to you for. I am not trying to get married right now."

"Okay, then what do you want? Because I've been trying to figure it out—"

"Because you don't listen, Eddie, christ. I want what I always fuckin' want. I want you to see me. I want your fuckin attention. I don't wanna have to ask for it. I don't wanna have to beg. When you want to fuck, I want you to come find me and hit me up. I want your fuckin room key in my pocket. I want your fuckin boys not to look at me like I'm trash in their way—"

"They don't—"

"They do," Garcia says, steamrolling right on. "I wanna see what your house looks like. I want you to come here maybe. Sometimes. You stupid fuck, I want what I wanted the whole fucking time. I want you."

"That's the stupidest thing anyone could ever want in their life," Eddie says, and his voice is cracking embarrassingly. "But. If you do. Danny, you got me."

He doesn't know who moved first. Later, he wouldn't be able to say—and then I decided to kiss Danny. or: Danny reached for me.

Instead, it was as if they'd crashed together somewhere in the middle. Slamming together like a fucking car wreck. Danny gets his hand curved around Eddie's skull, pulling Eddie closer and closer while Eddie gets an arm around his shoulder, fisting a handful of Danny's shirt. "Wait," Danny says against his mouth.

"No waiting," Eddie says, backing him towards the couch. "I've been waiting—"

"But—" and then Danny's twisting out of his grasp. Eddie startles for a second, his grip going lax before he realizes that Danny's falling over the coffee table they'd been backing right over, and about to take Eddie down with him.

They both hit the carpet, Eddie landing on his back with a grunt. Danny snickers at him, says "fuckin' disaster," even as Eddie rolls on top of him and kisses the laughter right out of his mouth.

"And I'm still pissed at you," Danny says, digging his fingernails into Eddie's nape.

"Yeah?" Eddie says distractedly. "Join the fucking club." He strips Danny out of his shirt, sheds his own one-handed, nearly ripping the neck as it goes over his head. Then he's groping Danny, roughly rubbing up over his pecs, thumbing his rosy little nipples until they're stiff peaks. Danny's like a live wire under him, squirming and shoving his tits up for more, and humping at Eddie's thigh.

"Relax," Eddie says, and pinches Danny's nipple, making him yowl. "We got all night."

"Eat shit," Danny grouses back. "Some of us haven't gotten it in weeks."

"Where do you think I'm getting it?" Eddie says absently, admiring the flush rising up on Danny's chest. Then, startled, says, "You haven't? With anyone else?"

"Shut up," Danny tells him. "Don't get a big head."

"Too late," Eddie says, and he reaches down and unties the string on Danny's sweatpants. "My head is fuckin' huge already. You waited for me, for real?"

"Waited for you to grow the fuck up," Danny says, and shoves his hips up demandingly, begging for Eddie's hand on his cock. But Eddie feels like good behavior should get good rewards and shit, so instead, he scoots back so he's kneeling between Danny's legs.

Danny sits up on his elbows, bemused. "Where you goin?"

"Lay back," Eddie says. "Hands over your head and keep 'em there. Don't fuckin' choke me, and if you say one word about my technique—"

"Oh shit." He complies with Eddie's orders so fuckin' fast it almost makes Eddie grin. But he's too intent on what he wants to do, and finishes stripping the pants of the kid's legs. He shoulders between Danny's thighs, and with a deep breath, licks a stripe up Danny's cock. Danny hisses, and Eddie can see his stomach muscles trembling with the effort not to move his hips. Good boy, he thinks, and dips his head down to fully suck Danny's cock into his mouth.

He's never done this before. Not for any particular reason—he's got no objection to giving head to either guys or girls. It's just that the guys he's been with over the years tended to be quick little hookups—handjobs exchanged in dark spaces. A quick fuck here or there. Eddie's never been one to really wanna be on his knees for anyone, so he just never has. He don't hate it though. Danny tastes good, clean, fresh. His cock is fat and heavy on Eddie's tongue, stretching his lips in an unfamiliar way. The extra skin where his knot will pop is soft and loose under Eddie's fist and Eddie takes a second to lick at it, kissing it nice, before he goes back down.

The kid's babbling like a maniac. Eddie can hear him begging and swearing and groaning, but he don't pay attention. It's not interesting. What's interesting right now is the way the kid's cock is starting to leak pre-come, and drips even more when Eddie dips his tongue in the slit to chase it. He closes his eyes and takes it deep in his throat for a bit, swallowing around the unfamiliar shape. Fuck, it's good. He likes it. He likes the way it feels.

He comes back to himself when he notices a hand on the back of his head, not pushing, not nudging. Just touching him, rubbing over his hair.

"I thought I told you to keep your hands above your head," Eddie says hoarsely, pulling off.

Danny sobs, says, "C'mon. I can't—"

"Pussying out already?"

"—I'm gonna come."

Eddie blinks at him. "Okay," he says. "Not tryna brag or anything but that's the goal, so."

"C'mon."

"C'mon, what," Eddie says and then absently nips at the kid's thighs. Danny hisses and jerks under his hands, so Eddie does it again. A sweet little mark starts blooming up, right on the inside. Selfishly, he kinda hopes Danny's gotta wrestle soon, that he has to wear Eddie's mark out in the ring.

"Eddie."

"Mm," Eddie says, and thinks about going full hog and sucking a big ass hickey there. How much would he get in trouble? Would it be worth it? Maybe.

"You're gonna make me say it? Are you serious right now?"

Startled, Eddie comes all the way up, sits back on his heels, and surveys the situation. Danny's red-faced, squirming, and biting his lip. His hands are back above his head, but clenched into fists. Hand to God, Eddie has to think real hard about what they were even talking about.

"What, you don't wanna come in my mouth?" he says. "Why, you wanna get weird? Come on my face or some shit?"

Danny's face is turning redder than hell. He looks furious, but his hands haven't moved from above his head.

"No," Eddie says. "It's not that at all, is it? You wouldn't mind if you shot off on your own belly, would you? You don't care about that."

The fury is turning murderous on the Danny's cute little face. Christ, Eddie loves him so much. He's crawling up over Danny's body before he can stop it, pressing his wrists to the carpet, kissing him deep.

"You don't care where you come, as long as I'm in you, is that right?" Eddie says, when he lets the kid take a breath again. "My cock, my knot. Is that what you want?"

Danny nods. He looks almost drugged now, sweet and pink and dazed.

Eddie kisses him once as a reward, and then again because Eddie likes him so much. "Okay," he says. "Anything you want, honey. I got you." Eagerly, Danny squirms over onto his stomach, presenting, waiting. Like a little feast, all for Eddie. All for the taking. Eddie gives him a little slap to pink up his sweet skin, then spreads him open and pushes inside.

It's been a bit since he's had this. Maybe he could have forgotten what it was like. Maybe if Danny had never let him in the front door, he would have gone home telling himself it wasn't really that good. It wasn't much at all.

He woulda been a fuckin' liar. Fucking into Danny is like fucking into silk, but hot. Like fucking into liquid gold but sweeter. He can't make sense of it, at all.

Danny's groaning his head off like Eddie's the one showing him a good time. Like getting it like this is what he'd been wanting, been missing. Absolutely fuckin' insane. Eddie gets a hand around one of Danny's thighs and hauls it up so he can get even deeper.

It makes no sense that Danny likes it so much, wants it so much from Eddie, but if he does—Eddie's gonna give it to him right. He's gonna do the best job he can possibly fuckin' do.

He kisses Danny on the back of his neck. "You like it? This what you wanted?"

"Yeah," Danny says. He's got one hand curled into the carpet, his nails clinging on like the kid's trying to grab hold of something. His mouth is hanging open, and the noises he's making. It's unreal. This whole day has been unreal.

"Gonna give you anything you want, honey," Eddie says and kisses him on his shoulder. "Anything you ask for, anything you need. Anything. I'm gonna give it to you. Always."

Danny makes a soft, wild, little sound and shoves his face into his folded arm, and well. Eddie can't be having that. "You don't believe me?" he says, trying to pull Danny's arm away from his face. "You think I'm still gonna fuck you over?"

"You don't have to say this shit—" Danny gasps, resisting him. "Just—say the regular stuff—"

"The regular—? Christ, no." Eddie can't be having this. He pulls out too fast, making Danny cry out. Eddie doesn't care. He got business to attend to.

He grabs him by the hips and flips him over onto his back, almost getting kicked in the head for the trouble. "Watch it," he warns, muscling back between Danny's thighs. Danny doesn't say anything but he groans, deep and loud when Eddie gets back inside.

Eddie slides back up the kid's body, and looks at him. Danny's face is—Eddie doesn't know exactly. His cheeks are beet red, and his hairline is sweaty. His pupils are blown up nice and big. The expression on his face is complicated—muleish, impatient, anxious.

Then Danny realizes Eddie's just staring at him. "You gonna move any time soon?" he says snidely. "Or what, you want my hands above my head first?"

"No," Eddie says, but he does start moving, slowly. He touches the kid's face, kisses him. "You really don't believe me."

"I told you already I got time before all that—"

"I heard you," Eddie says. "And when I ask you to marry me again, you'll fuckin' know it. That's not what I'm saying. Baby, c'mon, tell me you know you got me."

"Could get you a little faster," Danny says, and shoves his hips down, trying to get a reaction.

"Mm," Eddie says. "Maybe when I think you're hearing me." He moves his hand to Danny's hairline, smoothes the kid's bangs out of his face. "I make a lotta fuckin' mistakes in this world, a whole lot of 'em. But I don't make the same one twice. Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere."

Danny scoffs, but it's weak, thready. "I heard you."

"No, you didn't. Hey— look at me. Hey." He fucks him a few times, slow and easy, until Danny gives up and looks at him. "I see you now. I see who you are. I ain't gonna hurt you—or at least, not like that."

Danny makes another weak strange noise, almost a laugh. "So what? In a different way instead—?"

"Probably," Eddie admits. "That's life, man, and you chose a real fuckin' dirtbag. But I'm like fuckin' herpes, dude. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere." "Don't say herpes while you're fucking me," Danny says, but he sounds a little different, saying it. Looks a little shocked.

"Whatever, dude," Eddie says. "You believe me? For real, babe. I'm here. You got me now." He kisses him, long enough that he feels light-headed when he pulls back. "Do I got you?"

"Hmm?" Danny says distractedly, chasing after Eddie's mouth.

Eddie holds off, but snaps his hips, giving it the way Danny likes it. "I've been making a lotta declarations to you, and I ain't heard shit back."

Danny's gaze sharpens, and he gives Eddie a look. "I've been obvious. Don't tell me the whole company doesn't know where I stand. It's been humiliating."

"Aww—"

"Do you know," Danny says, glaring at him. "That Taz told me to keep my head up the other day? Taz, Eddie. Taz told me not to let you get me down."

"Yeah, you had it bad," Eddie says, and wraps a hand around Danny's cock. "Still wanna hear it though."

Danny's cute little body goes tense underneath him, abs quivering. "Hear what."

"Mm," Eddie says, giving him a loose, easy stroke. "I told you I'm gonna give it to you whenever you want it, whenever you need it. You gonna let me?"

"Yeah," Danny says tightly, trying to thrust up into Eddie's grip.

Eddie rewards him by starting to fuck him again, letting the jostles of his hips shove Danny's cock through the tight circle of his fingers. "Yeah?" he says. "You're gonna let me take care of you? Let me be good to you? I ain't been good to nobody in a long time. I might not be real good at it right away. You gonna let me try?"

"Eddie, c'mon. You know—"

"Tell me," Eddie says, and he can feel his knot starting to blow, catching on Danny's rim on every outstroke. Danny starts to whine, catching his legs around Eddie's waist to keep him in. "Tell me," he says again, coaxingly, running his thumb down the underside of Danny's cock.

"You're such an asshole," Danny says and almost sobs when Eddie drags the knot deliberately roughly out. "I'm yours, you fuck. You know I am."

"Mine?" Eddie says and he drops Danny's cock in favor of getting his knees under him, really pounding Danny. "You wanna be mine? Mine to fuck, mine to take care of?" "Yeah," Danny says, getting a hand on himself now, jerking himself ruthlessly. "You knew that."

"I'm not gonna fuck up," Eddie says. It was a stupid promise—Eddie was a fuck up, always. It didn't matter. Somehow, he'd keep it anyway. "I'm gonna love you, honey. The way you deserve."

Danny hissed, looking at him with big, dark eyes. He was close, Eddie could tell. That was okay, Eddie was close too. He was gonna knot Danny, pin him still, fill him to bursting, kiss him about it. Then maybe he'd take him to a real bed, eat him out, then do it again. They didn't have to be nowhere for days. They had all the time in the world.

His orgasm was licking in the space of his spine, and the knot was insistent now, too big to pull out. Eddie laced his hands over Danny's, jerking him off together. "Tell me again," he says.

Danny makes a bratty face. "If I knew you were gonna be so needy—" Then he tenses up and groans, shooting up all over their linked fingers. "Fuck. C'mon, Eddie. You know I've always been yours."

"Yeah," Eddie says with satisfaction, kissing him, his own finish heartbeats away. "Don't worry sweetheart. This is how it's gonna be now. This is how it's always gonna be." Danny smiled at him, big, sweet, happy, his eyes bright and shining. His heart trustingly in Eddie's big dumb clumsy hands. "I'm gonna take care of you," he said, his voice embarrassingly hoarse. "I'm gonna do it right now. I'm not gonna fuck it up."

"I know," Danny said. "Eddie, I know."

#lol i feel like i'm gonna cry a little #she's finished!!!#and if u would permit me to be extremely dweeby for a second #thank you to slap americandragonslayer #sarahcakes613 #and the kind anon #without you guys i would not have finished #anyway i hope this ride was fun and satisfying!#okay bye #alpha4alpha #my work #wrestling

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