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minijenn · 6 years

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Universe Falls Chapter 49

AN-So its abuot time I fucking post this chapter on here, huh? What can I say, I’ve had a busy day :P But anyway, I gotta say I’m still quite proud of this one. It was a struggle for sure (and ridiculously LONG) But the parts of it that shine just shine so much! So if you haven’t already read it yet, enjoy!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/170522545399/universe-falls-chapter-48-part-2

Chapter 49: Northwest Mansion Nightmare

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Northwest Manor was bustling with activity as its various staff and servants bustled about, preparing for the immaculate celebration held within its lavish gates. The aptly named Northwest Fest was by and large a legendary party, one that carried a very high reputation that extended far beyond the boarders of Gravity Falls alone. And like all the parties prior to it, this year’s formal event was rumored to be every bit as posh and elegant, if not then some, and those were exactly the kind of rumors that both Preston and Priscilla Northwest wanted circulating as they oversaw the preparations for the event.

“Preston, I must say, the guest list for this year’s party has so much diversity!” Priscilla remarked to her husband as she overlooked said list.

“Yes, a nice mix of millionaires and billionaires,” Preston nodded proudly as one of his many servants handed him the day’s newspaper. His calm manner abruptly shifted, however, upon noticing another servant incorrectly setting the nearby table nearby with fine china and pure silverware, which the billionaire was quick to correct with an admonishing swat with his newspaper. “Put the oyster fork at an angle! We’re not animals, man!”

“E-excuse me, Mr. Northwest?” another servant anxiously interjected, two other staff members hauling in a large covered glass case behind him. “T-those rare, uncut gemstones you ordered have arrived.”

“Ah, yes, good,” Preston said rather dismissively. “Let me see them.”

“Oh, uh, w-well, sir…” the servant continued, wringing his hands nervously as the other staff removed the cover from the case. “They… they’re not exactly what you ordered…”

“I’ll say they’re not!” the billionaire exclaimed hotly upon taking a look at the collection of precious stones before him. Instead of the smooth, radiant gems he had been expecting, these stones were clustered and clumped together with no real order or organization at all, giving each set a haphazard, almost even ugly appearance. “What on earth all these… hideous things!? I specifically ordered the finest raw gemstones available, not these grotesque chunks of rock!”

“Ugh, just look at them!” Priscilla interjected, quite mortified herself. “What will our guests think if they see those gaudy excuses for gemstones?!”

“They won’t be thinking anything because they’re not going to see them,” Preston staunchly concluded as he addressed the servant. “Take those back to the jeweler immediately and have them send us some real stones to put on display.”

“W-well, normally I would, sir, b-but… these were the last gems the jeweler had…” the servant gulped fretfully. “T-they said they found them buried not too far away from a canyon a few hours out from town and that they’re actually quite rare, but-”

“But nothing!” the billionaire huffed, quite displeased. “I suppose that since its far too short notice to get replacements, we’ll just have to put last year’s gemstones out on display like we’re a bunch of simple peasants! And as for those… unsightly hunks of rock… just put the entire case in some hallway that no one’s likely to wander down during the party. We’ll figure out what to do with those disappointments later.”

“Speaking of which, where the devil is-” Priscilla cut herself off upon spotting her daughter finally making a rather tardy appearance. All the same, Pacifica smiled brightly as she strode into the room, already clad in the sophisticated light green ball gown she planned on wearing to the party the following evening. Her mother, however, was far from pleased. “Pacifica! What did I tell you about that dress?! The theme for the party is sea foam green, not lake foam green! Go change!”

“B-but… I kind of like it…” the heiress frowned, having already anticipated this scolding. Still, she had hoped her mother wouldn’t have noticed when she had put the dress on, but clearly, Priscilla’s sharp eye for fashion beat her own tastes in this case.

“Mind your mother, Pacifica,” Preston gave his daughter a critical glance. Still, given the fact that this was a rather minor detail, Pacifica hoped that she could somehow win out in this debate, even if she knew her chances were rather slim.

“B-but I-” Her soft protests were succinctly cut off by the sharp, high ring of a small bell, courtesy of her father. A bell that she was all too familiar with and knew well to obey. “Y-yes, father…” she muttered meekly, glancing down in embarrassment for even trying.

However, before Pacifica could even head out to follow her parent’s rigid orders, the entire dining room began to shake as if it was being rattled by a major earthquake. And yet, this was no natural occurrence as the dining ware on the table began to clatter violently, a bizarre, undeterminable gale striking up solely inside of the room as everyone present gasped in terror over the alarming sight surrounding them.

“Oh no!” Preston exclaimed fearfully, well aware of exactly what was going on. “It’s… happening.” The billionaire didn’t have much more of a chance to react to this newfound catastrophe before the opulent objects filling the room, plates, forks, knives, spoons, trays, chairs, and more, all suddenly lifted up into the air, flying around at random as they seemed to launch themselves on their own accord. Many of the servants fled altogether as this dangerous cascade of inanimate items swirled around the room, but even so, Preston did his best to fend the attacking objects off, though to little avail. “You are my possessions! Obey me!” he ordered, only for several plates to go zooming towards him in particular. The billionaire let out a frightened cry as he joined his wife and daughter in hiding under the table in the hopes that it would shield them from this chaotic onslaught.

“This is a disaster!” Priscilla cried, aptly panicked as the silverware continued flying just overhead. “The party’s in just 24 hours! What are we going to do?!”

“Surely there’s someone who can handle this sort of nonsense!” Preston lamented, only for his cry to receive a timely answer as a copy of the newspaper flopped down onto the ground right in front of him. Its headlining article featured a giant bat attacking Sherriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland atop the town’s bell tower. Though what stood out most was the young boy, roughly about Pacifica’s age, whom he had seen around town a handful of times this summer, fearlessly fending the bat off while the officers behind him cowered in fear. Clearly, from his brazen, undaunted expression, he seemed to be right at home warding away such supernatural danger, which was something that gave Preston a much-needed idea for how to handle the current plight the upcoming party was facing. “And I think I know just the person…”

Things had been rather uneventful around the Mystery Shack as of late, a welcome change of pace, particularly for Dipper as he used this relatively peaceful rainy morning as a rare chance to relax. He had already set up shop in the den, surrounded by a plentiful abundance of snacks and sodas to keep him company as he sat comfily in front of the TV.

“You asked for it, you got it!” the TV blared excitedly. “An entire 48-hour marathon of Ghost Harassers, on the Used To Be About History Channel!”

“Be strong, bladder. We’re not gonna move until sunset,” Dipper remarked, more than content to do just that. Until, of course, his plans quickly fell through.

“We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!” the local town news commandeered the broadcast, deviating away from the ghost hunting marathon, much to Dipper’s immediate disappointment.

“Aw, what?” he frowned crossly, only for Mabel to suddenly run in, Candy and Grenda trailing blithely behind her.

“It’s starting!” she quipped, hopping onto the chair beside her brother and forcing him to move aside.

“Turn it up!” Candy exclaimed, squeezing onto the other side of the chair as her and Mabel essentially sandwiched the already rather perturbed Dipper between them.

“Make room for Grenda!” Grenda shouted boisterously, leaping on top of them all and recklessly knocking over a lamp in the process. The girls were just in time to see the beginning of the news story, featuring Toby Determined reporting on the scene outside of Northwest Manor, standing amongst an already very large, very eager crowd of townsfolk. “Well, tonight’s the night, but I’ve been out here for days!” the reporter exclaimed, his clothes tattered and muddy from doing so. “The Northwest family’s annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren’t let in, that doesn’t stop us from camping out right outside the gates for a peek at the fanciness!”

“Ooooooh!” all three of the girls mused, stars of amazement in their eyes as they stared at the screen, enthralled. Dipper, on the other hand, couldn’t have been any less interested in this rather soft, largely unimportant news.

“Ok, can someone please explain to me why people actually care about this?” he asked dryly, rolling his eyes at the brief snippets of poor-quality clips of past Northwest parties on screen.

“Northwest Fest is pretty much the best party of all time!” Grenda informed in her usual loud way. “Rich food, richer boys!”

“They say each gift basket has a live quail inside!” Mabel added just as enthusiastically.

“Give me your life, Pacifica…” Candy sighed wistfully as a clip of the heiress played during the newscast.

“You guys have got to be kidding,” Dipper deadpanned. “In case you’ve already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest has been a complete jerk to us all summer. She’s almost as bad as Gideon, minus the whole trying to kill us thing.”

“Oh, come on, bro-bro, you’re overexaggerating,” Mabel huffed. “Pacifica’s nowhere near as crazy or evil as Gideon is.”

“Maybe not, but she’s still the worst.” Dipper was suddenly interupted by a random knock on the door, but even so, his sour attitude towards the heiress didn’t change as he got up to answer it. “And that’s not just jealousy talking; I’d say that to her face.”

Ironically enough, however, the face he was met with upon opening the door was none other than Pacifica’s herself. “I need your help,” she said, saving the pleasantries and getting right to the point.

A very brief beat of rather awkward silence passed between the two of them before Dipper quickly acted upon what he had previously said. “You’re the worst,” he quickly told the heiress before abruptly slamming the door on her without bothering to hear her out whatsoever.

The trio of girls inside gasped in horror at response to Dipper’s careless rudeness towards Pacifica, especially given the fact that her family was hosting the most incredible party in town. Still, he hardly seemed to care as he turned towards them, arms crossed and caustic expression set. “See?”

Unfortunately for him, Pacifica wasn’t willing to give up that easily as she knocked on the door once again, this time much more insistently. And despite really not wanting to, Dipper knew that she likely wouldn’t go away until he at the very least heard her out. “Alright, what do you want?” he asked coldly as he opened the door again, sending her a quite transparent glare.

“Look, you think its easy for me to come here?” Pacifica asked, dressed in clothing that would largely obscure her identity, including a scarf over her hair and sunglasses over her eyes. “I don’t want to be seen in this hovel. But my dad made me come all the way out here because there’s something haunting Northwest Manor.” At this, the heiress removed her sunglasses, a hint of desperation in her otherwise haughty manner as she continued. “If you don’t help me, the party could be ruined!”

“And you really think that matters to me, like, at all?” Dipper raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the doorframe. “Honestly, I don’t know why I should even trust you. All you’ve ever done is try to humiliate me, Mabel, Steven, and Connie.”

“Hey, its not my fault you four are easy targets,” Pacifica scowled, every bit as bitter over this exchange as Dipper was. “Just name your price, ok? My dad will freak out if go back without any help, so I’ll give you anything!”

“Hi, Pacifica!” Mabel quickly interjected, rushing to the door before her brother could get a single word out. “Excuse us!” At this, she was quick to pull Dipper back into the shack despite his confused protest. “Dipper! Don’t you see what this means?!” she asked him in a fervent whisper. “If you help Pacifica, you could get us into the greatest party of all time!”

“What?” Dipper asked incredulously. “Mabel, this is Pacifica we’re talking about here. Helping her out will just end up turning into a huge disaster, I know it.”

“But it’s Candy and Grenda’s dream!” Mabel pleaded, nodding back to the starry eyed duo behind her. “And you know… it’s kinda mine too and you’d totally be the world’s number one best brother ever if you got me and my friends into this party and I’d totally owe you and shower you with the biggest, happiest hugs I can give and-”

“Ugh, alright already!” Dipper interjected, quite tired of his sister’s enthusiastic rambling on the matter as be begrudgingly turned to address Pacifica again. “I’ll bust your ghost. But in exchange, I’ll need three tickets to the party.”

The heiress let out a disgruntled growl at this, but nonetheless she conceded, reaching into her purse and retrieving the aforementioned tickets. “You’re just lucky I’m desperate.”

“Woo!” all three of the girls chanted in absolute elation in the living room, completely overwhelmed with excitement about the immaculate party that lay ahead of them. “Desperate! Desperate! Desperate!”

“Grenda, get the glue gun!” Mabel commanded with a huge, zealous grin. “We’re making dresses!”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I agreed to this…” Pacifica muttered, face palming as she prepared to leave.

“I can’t believe I agreed to this either…” Dipper remarked just as crossly, almost completely certain that he’d come to regret this choice some way or another.

Warm, plentiful laughter rung out between Steven and Connie as they emerged from the house, Lion trailing not too far behind them. The pair had spent most of the morning hanging out around the temple, with Connie practicing her sword skills on her own while Steven readily cheered her on. Still, soon enough the rousing rounds of swings and swipes soon came to an end as they decided to head down to the shack for a bit to see what Dipper and Mabel were up to.

“Well, time to assume my secret identity,” Connie joked, putting her glassless glasses back on. “Thanks again for letting me practice at your place, Steven. It’s a shame I can’t practice at home…”

“Well, why can’t you?” Steven asked, curious as he continued to hold the umbrella up for both of them, shielding them from the rain as they walked down the hill.

“Because my mom would totally flip if she caught me with a sword,” Connie remarked with a small chuckle, even though she was being serious. “And besides, Pearl hasn’t given me a ‘take home’ sword yet like she has for Dipper. Probably because I haven’t really gone on a lot of missions with you guys since we’ve started training, which I understand.”

Steven took pause upon hearing this, seeing that while Connie was apparently complacent with this fact, there was still a hint of longing in her expression all the same. Longing that he couldn’t help but feel compelled to fulfill. “Hey, wait a sec,” the young Gem stopped, prompting both Connie and Lion to do the same. “May I?” he asked, turning to the pink beast, who obediently lowered his head to allow his owner to reach inside his magical mane. Connie watched in apt curiosity as Steven felt around inside the pocket dimension for a moment, before finding what he was looking for and pulling it cleanly out of Lion’s forehead: Rose Quartz’s legendary sword.

“Here-eth,” Steven began, playfully yet dutifully bowing before the rather surprised Connie. “You can borrow-ethhhh my mother’s sword-ethhhhh.”

“S-Steven! That… that’s so nice!” Connie exclaimed with a small, albeit taken aback smile. “If grammatically incorrect. But…” At this point she was quick to switch into the same medieval tone Steven had been using. “Thou canst just giveth me thine mother’s sword!”

“Why not… -ethhhh?” the young Gem asked with a confused frown.

“Because its really important-ethhh!” Connie argued as they finally made it to the shack.

“That’s exactly why you should have-ethhhh it! You can have it to practice-ethhh with-ethhhh.”

Connie hesitated as Steven presented the sword to her once more, its large, pink form suddenly seeming quite intimidating as she looked upon it. This was by far a special blade, one that held more history that she could likely ever even hope to understand. Even with her skills progressing at the rate they were, she still felt largely unworthy by merit alone to wield such an impressively powerful sword. And yet, as she looked back to the young Gem who was so kindly offering it to her with such a hopeful smile, she found it was becoming increasingly difficult to turn that offer down. “Are you sure-ethhh?”

“Positive-ethhh,” Steven nodded with a confident, steady grin. One that was finally enough to convince Connie to take the illustrious, surprisingly light sword into her own hands.

“Thhhhhhank you!” she exclaimed with a laugh, finally capping off the pair’s playful barrage of medieval speech.

“You’re welcome,” Steven said, his smile finally falling a bit as his tone became serious. “It’s just… I was thinking… We gotta be ready if we need to fight Malachite or Peridot o-or Bill or… or those creepy Gem fusion experiments. And seeing as how you’ve already got the skills, all you really needed was a sword. Which means we’re bound to be ready for whatever comes our way next.”

“Well, there’s no real way of knowing that for sure,” Connie mused thoughtfully as they prepared to head inside the shack. “But still, I’ll take good care of it.”

The pair exchanged another warm smile as they opened the door, only to find a scene of colorful chaos unfurling before them. Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were congregated in the den, mutually awash in frantic excitement as they scrambled to put their home-made evening gowns together in time for the party. As Candy and Grenda collaborated on pouring copious amounts of glitter onto a swath of already very shiny fabric, Mabel rushed towards the stairs, energized as ever.

“Hi, Steven! Hi, Connie!” she greeted the confused pair quickly as she ran past them. “No time to talk! Our pom-pom supply is running dangerously low and I gotta replenish it ASAP!”

“Uh… what’s going on?” Connie asked as Mabel rushed off.

“They’re getting ready for tonight,” Dipper said as he came over to join the pair.

“Tonight? What’s tonight?” Steven asked curiously.

“There’s some stupid party happening at Northwest Manor,” Dipper explained, still rather vexed over the matter. “And I somehow got roped by Pacifica into getting rid of a ghost that’s apparently haunting the place in exchange for getting those three tickets for it.”

“Oh my gosh, the party!” Connie exclaimed with a recollective gasp. “I can’t believe I forgot about it! Ugh, my mom got invited for being one of the ‘top tier medical professionals’ in Gravity Falls, which means I have to go too, as much as I’d rather do literally anything else.”

“Same here,” Dipper staunchly agreed. “The last thing I want to do is spend an evening with Pacifica, of all people.”

“Tell me about it,” Connie crossed her arms with equal distain. “It’s kind of hard to believe Pacifica would ask you for help, Dipper, seeing as how she’s made it really clear she hates all four of us. Not that the feeling isn’t completely mutual, seeing as how she’s just about the worst.”

“That’s what I said!” Dipper exclaimed, exasperated. “But unfortunately, I couldn’t really turn her down; Mabel would have never let me live it down if I didn’t get those tickets for her.”

“Aw, I don’t know what you two are so upset about,” Steven interjected with a small smile. “This party sounds like a lot of fun! You know, aside from that whole ghost thing you mentioned, Dipper.”

“Yeah, it’ll be ‘fun’ alright,” Dipper deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “About as fun as getting a root canal.”

“Or getting hit by a bus,” Connie added before they both broke out into a bout of rather cynical laughter. Steven didn’t really join in on it as someone knocked on the door, but even so, as he went to answer it he offered the pair some more encouragement over the evening they were both so clearly dreading.

“Well, even if you guys don’t think so, I still think you’ll both have a great time at the party,” the young Gem said warmly. “I sure wish I could go. But I wasn’t invited, so I guess I’ll just have to-” Steven cut himself off as he opened the door to see a rather impatient doctor standing outside. “D-Dr. Maheswaran!”

“Yes, yes, hello, Steven,” Priyanka greeted dully as she stepped inside. “Hello, Dipper.”

“Uh, hi, Dr. Maheswaran,” Dipper replied, glancing over at Connie in confusion as she hurriedly hid Rose’s sword behind her back before her mother could see it.

“M-Mom!” she exclaimed, eyes wide with alarm at this unexpected intrusion. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick you up so we can go get ready for the party this evening, remember?” Priyanka remarked in a huff. “It’s only a few hours away and we have much to do before then, to the point that I even had to leave work early. But it’ll all be worth it if I can land the Northwests as the sponsors for the purposed new wing at the hospital. Which means I expect you to be on your best behavior tonight, young lady.”

“Yes, mother…” Connie grumbled, far from keen on the idea of sucking up to Pacifica’s family like her mother seemed to be.

“Now say goodbye to your friends,” the doctor ordered, reaching out to grab her daughter’s hand without any warning. “We’ll have to hurry if we want to-” Priyanka stopped short upon hearing the noisy clatter that came as a result of Connie loosing her grip on the sword she had been concealing as it fell to the floor.

“Oh no…” Connie groaned, face palming as she realized she had no time to reclaim it before her mother turned to see it lying in plain sight on the ground beside her.

“Is that… a sword?!” Priyanka gasped, picking the sheathed blade up in complete appalment. “Connie, where did you get this?!”

“I-it’s-” Steven nervously began to explain before Connie quickly interupted him.

“I-I found it! It was just… lying outside and I wanted to show it to Steven and Dipper.”

“Wait, but isn’t that Rose’s-” Dipper was immediately cut off by Connie as she slapped a silencing hand over his mouth while her mother seethed with fury all the while.

“How could you possibly think this is ok?!” the doctor exclaimed, completely livid as she paced back and forth the foyer with the sword still in her grip. “Do you know how many children I see coming into the hospital every day who’ve cut their faces off playing with swords?”

“Uh…”

“None!” Priyanka snapped hotly. “Because they have parents who love them and don’t let them play around with deadly weapons like some kind of gang member!”

“B-but-” Connie tried to protest, but her mother immediately shot her down.

“No buts! I don’t even know why I have to tell you this! You should know better! No playing with swords! Under any circumstances! Now, come along, we still have to get ready for the party. I’ll have a talk with your father after he gets off work tonight to calculate just how grounded you are. And we’re using the abacus!”

And with that, Priyanka abruptly turned on her heel and walked out, taking Rose’s sword along with her, much to Connie’s dismay. “I hate that abacus…” she remarked sourly before her tone turned fretful. “Steven, I’m so sorry! She took your mother’s sword!”

“Maybe we could get her to change her mind?” Steven suggested with a reassuring smile.

“She never, ever changes her mind,” Connie huffed, rubbing her temples. “We’ve got to get that sword back ourselves.”

“How are you going to do that?” Dipper asked with a frown. “There probably isn’t a great chance that Dr. Maheswaran will let the sword out of her sight considering how upset she was about it.”

“Oh, you’re right…” Connie mused worriedly for a moment before excitedly snapping her fingers. “Wait! I know! The party! We can wait until she’s distracted tonight and then, Steven, you and me can sneak off with it without her even knowing!”

“That’s a great idea, Connie!” Steven chimed brightly. “There’s just one problem though… I’m not invited to the party.”

“Connie!” Priyanka shouted quite impatiently from outside. “We need to leave, now!”

“W-well, you’ll just have to figure out a way to get in!” Connie urged as she began to hurry out. “I’ll see you tonight!”

“Hopefully…” Steven said, halfheartedly waving her off as she rushed to join her mother. “Wait a second! Dipper, didn’t you say that you convinced Pacifica to give you some tickets to the party? Do you think maybe you could get just one more from her so I could get in too?”

“Steven, it was basically a miracle that she even agreed to give me tickets for Mabel, Candy, and Grenda,” Dipper said with an apologetic frown. “I highly doubt she’s gonna be willing to fork over another one, even with me taking care of her ghost problem for her.”

“You’re probably right…” Steven sighed in disappointment. “But what am I gonna do? I gotta find a way to get into that party somehow!”

“Did somebody say party!?” Both boys were quite started as, out of nowhere, Amethyst suddenly dropped down from the ceiling, grinning wryly as she landed in between them.

“Amethyst? What are you doing here?” Dipper asked in apt confusion.

“Oh, ya know, just napping up in the rafters, just like I do all the time,” the purple Gem remarked, stretching herself out as she fully woke up. “The ones here at the shack are way more comfy than the ones up at the temple, believe it or not. But it’s been kinda hard to get any rest around here with everyone being so loud for some reason. Seriously what’s up with all that?”

“Oh well uh…” Steven began rather anxiously, not wanting to admit to any of the Gems that he had lost track of his mother’s sword. “E-everyone’s just… really excited about the Northwests’ party tonight and-”

“Ugh, that yearly snooze-fest?” Amethyst stuck her tongue out in disdain. “I don’t know why anyone would get excited over that. It’s barely even a party! Just a bunch of rich stiffs standing around yapping about how much money they have. The only good thing about it is that the grub is all you can eat, which is an offer I always took them up on whenever we went to it back in the day.”

“Wait, so you guys have been to this party before?” Dipper asked curiously.

“Yeah, a few times,” the purple Gem shrugged. “But only because we kinda sometimes filled in as bodyguards for those Northwest losers way back when before we learned that they’re a bunch of crooked jerks. Crazy thing about it is that we still actually get invites for their party every year, even though he haven’t gone since Rose was still around. Guess they never bothered to take us off the guest list, not that we’d go anyway seeing as how those prudes didn’t keep their-”

“A-Amethyst!” Steven suddenly interjected, eyes wide with newfound hope upon hearing that his guardians had invitations to the exclusive party. Which meant that there was a chance he could help Connie out after all. “Did we get invited this year too?!”

“Uh… yeah? Pretty sure Pearl has the invites up at the temple. Why?”

“B-because I wanna go this year!” Steven urged, his manner still rather tight as Amethyst looked to him in confusion.

“What? Why?” she asked caustically. “Did you hear what I just said? That party’s lame, Steven. You’d get bored in the first 5 seconds, just like I always used to.”

“W-well… maybe its not as boring as it used to be anymore!” the young Gem argued earnestly. “And besides, Connie’s going! And so are Dipper and Mabel!”

“That’s right,” Dipper nodded, supporting the young Gem in his effort to try and win the purple Gem over on the matter. “Amethyst, would it really be fair if the three of us got to go to some huge fancy party while Steven just spends the night home, bored and alone?”

“Like a poor little sadsack?” Steven added, pouting pleadingly.

Amethyst didn’t answer right away as she looked between the pair, arms crossed and expression dry. Still, her manner didn’t stay that way for long upon watching the young Gem’s lower lip start to quiver as a sign of his genuine desperation. Which was something that none of the Gems, not even Amethyst, was able to resist. “Ugh, ok fine!” she groaned in exasperation. “I’ll help you convince Garnet and Pearl into going with us to that dumb party. But only because their food is really good. And also ‘cause I’m in the mood for busting up some of the Northwests’ expensive fancy property.”

“Yes!” Steven cheered, quite relieved as he gave Dipper a thankful high five. “Thanks so much Amethyst!”

“Yeah, yeah,” the purple Gem remarked with a casual wave of her hand as she took her leave to inform her teammates of their plan. “Just don’t come cryin’ to me when you end up clonking out on that ballroom floor from how boring it all is. Which will happen. Trust me, I know, I’ve done before.”

Sure enough, with Northwest Fest set to start in roughly an hour, a massive crowd of spectators had congregated around at least a mile radius from the mansion’s securely locked gates, ones that were meant to keep the common folk out while the exclusively wealthy guests enjoyed the finery inside. Of course, this year’s party did carry some exceptions to these upscale standards, namely the group Pacifica unceremoniously escorted in through the mansion’s stately front doors.

“Welcome to Northwest Manor, dorks,” she announced dryly as Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda all got their first glimpses of the immaculate ballroom. “Try not to touch anything.”

The girls hardly heeded the heiresses as they rushed past her, clad in their flashy home-made dresses as they rushed to take in every lavish sight surrounding them. The mansion’s grand hall was quite a splendor, with high vaulted ceilings, expertly crafted woodwork and spotless marble floors. With most guests having yet to arrive, the only ones milling about at the moment were maids and servants as they put together the finishing touches for the festivities, including the massive apple cider fountain and lengthy buffet of hors d’oeurves. Overall, the setting of the party alone lived up to the stories of its splendor, splendor that the girls were more than happy to explore as they cheerfully ran about.

“Everything’s so fancy!” Mabel quipped, stars in her eyes as she spun around in her fluffy pink gown. “Fancy floor, fancy plants, fancy man!” she finished as she zealously patted the face of a nearby butler.

“Mm, yes, very good, miss,” the butler conceded dutifully before walking away.

“The rumors were true!” Candy proclaimed, running by with a quail-filled gift bag in hand before Grenda and Mabel hurried after her, chuckling cheerfully all the while.

At the same time, Preston and Priscilla entered the room, calm and composed over their nearly-complete party preparations, even despite the previous night’s setback. “Ah, if it isn’t the man of the hour!” Preston addressed Dipper cordially as the couple approached him. “I trust you can help us with out little… situation before the guests arrive in an hour.”

“I’ll do my best,” Dipper assured rather confidently. And really, he had every reason to show confidence for the task ahead as equipped as he was with the journal, ghost tracking equipment, and even his sword as an extra precaution. On top of all that was the general level of experience in fending off supernatural danger he had gained over the course of the summer alone, which made him feel more than equipped to deal with a simple, run of the mill ghostly haunting.

“Splendid! Pacifica, take our guest to the ‘problem room’,” the billionaire said to his daughter before dropping his voice down to a mutter while Dipper was distracted. “And uh… he’s not wearing that is he?” he asked, rather unimpressed with the boy’s common, almost sloppy attire and overall manner.

“I’m on it,” Pacifica nodded, wasting no time in dragging Dipper off to the mansion’s quite extensive guest dressing room. And, despite his extensive protests, she eventually managed to get him fitted in an appropriately formal suit, something that Dipper found to be incredibly uncomfortable and restricting even from the moment he first put it on.

“Ugh, it’s like this collar is strangling me,” he grumbled, pulling at the offending, quite aggravating collar. “Who do you guys think you’re impressing with this stuff anyway?”

“Uh, everyone?” Pacifica retorted just as sharply as she quickly adjusted Dipper’s tie. “You wouldn’t understand. High standards are what make the Northwest family great. And part of those high standards is that we always look our best.” To prove her point, the heiress motioned down to her own fashionable lavender ball gown, one that she knew and was quite proud of the fact that it was the best that money could buy.

“Oh really?” Dipper remarked with a wry, knowing smirk. “That’s funny seeing as how you guys didn’t look all that great when we exposed you for lying about founding the town.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Pacifica scoffed, rolling her eyes. “We’re still way better than pretty much anyone else in this town, even if we didn’t found it some stupidly long time ago. And in case you haven’t noticed, everybody still loves us, so its not like you guys ‘revealing the truth’ even changed anything.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the only reason why people supposedly ‘love’ your family is because you guys are ridiculously rich?” Dipper asked rather crossly.

“No, its because we’re respected,” the heiress corrected pointedly. “There’s a difference.”

“Oh yeah, sure, ‘respected’,” Dipper deadpanned. “For pretty much nothing but being rich.”

“Oh, just shut up already and come on!” Pacifica snapped, quite frustrated especially as Dipper kept up his smug, triumphant grin. Still, both of them were rather eager to get this ghost hunting mission over with, if for nothing more than to cut the begrudging, yet momentarily necessary tie between them. Which was why they continued on to investigate in a state of cross, bitter silence, one that neither of them felt compelled to break, lest even more biting, hostile words spark between them. Words that, ironically, were the exact opposite of the kind of sentiments that would spark up between them soon enough.

Though it had taken some doing, Steven and Amethyst had managed to convince Garnet and Pearl into going to the Northwests’ party. Still, despite their agreement to show up, none of the Gems were very excited to be there as they arrived early, just as they always used to do when they used to attend the party in the past. They had almost ended up arriving in their usual attire, but upon Steven’s insistence, they had begrudgingly shifted into more elegant wear for the evening. Garnet had taken on a smooth, sleeveless, sleek magenta gown, one that filled out wide past her knees and had a large slit revealing her shapely left leg. Pearl’s dress was more modest; a graceful, pale blue, silky ensemble, with straps and an additional skirt from behind. Though Amethyst usually abhorred getting dolled up, she had made an exception for Steven, putting on a shorter purple dress with loose skirts and low straps on top of tying her hair up into a messy, yet still presentable (thanks to Pearl) bun. As for Steven, he was clad in a rental tux that Greg had managed to score for him at the last second, but even still, he was quite ready for the party himself, even despite his apprehension for even having to be there in the first place.

“I still can’t believe we agreed to come to this shallow parade of overindulgence and excess,” Pearl huffed disdainfully as the group approached the mansion’s entrance. “I thought our days of attending these despicable Northwest parties were long over.”

“We all agreed to make an exception this year for Steven, Pearl,” Garnet reminded, even though it was clear she was none too pleased to be there either. “So we’ll just have to suck it up for a few hours.”

“Yes, I know, but still…” the white Gem dropped her voice down to a whisper as she clutched the Gem leader’s arm. “All of this shameless touting of refinement, power, and position over others? You can’t deny that it’s a little like-”

“Homeworld, I know,” Garnet’s expression darkened somewhat. “That’s one of the many reasons we stopped going to these.”

Despite their quiet conversing, Steven still picked up on what his guardians were talking about and he couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty for stirring up bad memories of their former planet by essentially using them as his ticket into this party. Part of him wanted to tell them his true reasoning for wanting to come, namely to help Connie reclaim Rose’s sword, but he couldn’t very well admit that to them out of shame that he had lost something so precious and important, especially since it was his responsibility to keep it safe in the first place. So instead of telling the truth, the young Gem decided to do one of the things he did best: cheer them up.

“I-I know you guys aren’t looking forward to this, but I still think we could end up having fun!” he quipped with a warm smile. “I mean, we’re all here together, and Connie, Dipper, and Mabel are coming too so maybe the party won’t be as bad as it used to be when you guys used to go to it.”

“Oh yeah, speakin’ of which,” Amethyst interjected curiously as they all presented their invitations at the door before being let inside. “How did those three get invites to this ritzy blowout anyway? I always remember this thing being super exclusive, to the point that they only let rich, snobby jerks in. And last time I checked, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel aren’t rich, snobby jerks.”

“Oh, uh, well-”

“Steven!” the young Gem was interupted almost as soon as him and the Gems stepped into the ballroom by Mabel, who had managed to spot them from the other side of the hall. She didn’t hesitate to excitedly run over towards him, though she did slow her pace somewhat, her cheeks flushing red upon noticing the rather dashing suit he was in. “W-wow…” she said as she came to a stop, trying her best not to come across as flustered and doing anything but. “Steven, you… y-you look, uh… you… um… G-great to see you!”

“Uh, its great to see you too, Mabel, even though I did just see you a few hours ago.” Steven chuckled, fortunately not paying her stumbling much mind.

“Heh, yeah… Oh my gosh!” Mabel quickly changed topics, averting her gaze from the young Gem lest she turn incoherent again as she addressed the Gems instead. “You guys all look so pretty! I love, love, love your dresses!”

“Well, thank you, Mabel,” Pearl smiled kindly. “Your dress for the evening is very… creative as well!”

“Aw, thanks so much! I made it myself!” Mabel cheerily gushed, pulling off a playful curtsy. “Still, this is so crazy awesome! I wasn’t expecting to see any of you guys here! Isn’t this party the fanciest thing you’ve ever seen?!”

“Mm… we’ve seen fancier,” Garnet noted rather dryly, eliciting confused frowns from both Mabel and Steven.

“Mabel! You gotta get over here!” Grenda suddenly called, her deep voice echoing from across the ballroom.

“Oh! Hold that thought!” Mabel exclaimed as she started to run off, though not before bidding Steven and the Gems a quick farewell as they waved her off. “I’ll catch up with you guys later! I hope you have fun!”

“Ha, like that’ll ever happen at this lamo snob party,” Amethyst grumbled, crossing her arms petulantly.

“What’s up?” Mabel asked Candy and Grenda as she joined them before a large, stately book resting on a stand.

“Look what we found! It’s the guest list!” Grenda grinned, eagerly flipping through it before stopping a few pages in. “Whoa! Check out this hottie!”

“Marius von Fundshauser!” Candy read, already completely enthralled with the wealthy young man from his picture alone. “He’s a baron from Austria!”

“Forget the quail, I’m putting him in my gift basket!” Mabel quipped, more than ready to indulge herself with another summer crush. Especially if it helped her get her mind off her ever-growing feelings for a certain young Gem.

“Hold up, ladies,” Grenda interjected, her tone surprisingly serious. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think this boy might be out of our league.”

“Grenda is right,” Candy nodded just as rationally. “He is a white whale. Hunting him will destroy us.”

“Well, there are plenty of other cute boys coming to this party,” Mabel vouched with a conceding smile. “So let’s make a sister’s truce not to waste our time on Marius. Deal?”

“Deal!” Candy and Grenda both agreed as they all put their hands together in mutual agreement on this plan. Still, all three of them laughed somewhat nervously as they broke their hands apart, none of them entirely sure if this was a deal they intended on keeping.

As her father had instructed, Pacifica led Dipper to the so-called “problem room”, which, even upon an initial glance, was exactly what he had been expecting. It appeared to be some kind of lounge, just as stately as the rest of Northwest Manor was with hand-crafted hardwood furniture, walls lined with paintings hailing the family’s allegedly proud history, and mounted animal heads, and a large roaring fireplace that cast the entire room in a shadowy, almost blood red glow.

“This is the main room where it’s been happening,” Pacifica informed as they stepped inside, her usual confident manner somewhat diminished in place of fledgling fear.

“Yeah, this looks like the kind of room that would be haunted alright,” Dipper concluded as he pulled the journal out and turned to the fortunately extensive section on ghosts. “I wouldn’t worry about it though. Ghosts fall on a ten-category scale. Floating plates sounds like a category 1, which is pretty far from being anywhere close to dangerous.”

“So what?” Pacifica asked with a teasing smirk. “Are you gonna bore him back into the afterlife by reading from that book? Or are you going to pretend to stab him with that cute little toy sword of yours?” she asked, nodding to the Ancient Sea Blade he had securely strapped to his back.

“First of all, it’s not a toy, its real,” Dipper corrected, half tempted to draw it and show her. “And secondly, I only brought it with me as a precaution. If it really is a category 1, then the most I gotta do is splash that sucker with some anointed water,” he said, holding said small bottle of holy water up. “And he should be out of your probably-fake blonde hair.”

“What was that about my hair?” Pacifica scoffed, glaring at him disapprovingly.

“Shh!” Dipper quickly interupted her as he pulled a small, ghost-tracking device out of his backpack, one that was already beeping in response to the apparent supernatural activity in the room. “I’m picking something up.”

The heiress simply sighed in aggravation but all the same she hung back, allowing him to investigate further as he followed the readings the device was giving off. Dipper stopped short in front of the fireplace as he briefly glanced up to the large painting of who appeared to be an 1880s lumberjack until the device’s signal suddenly went dead. “Ugh, come on, stupid thing,” he muttered in annoyance, beating the side of it until it began beeping once more. “There we go. Huh?” He was met with immediate confusion as he glanced up again, only to find that somehow, the lumberjack in the painting had suddenly disappeared from the frame in what couldn’t have been more than a few seconds at best. Something that Dipper already knew well from experience, was far from normal. “Uh… Pacifica?”

The heiress didn’t even heed him as she instead let out a frightened scream on the other side of the room, one that was quite warranted given the pool of blood she had just spotted near her feet, one that was being fueled from above. Both her and Dipper let out shared gasps of shock as they glanced up to see blood, thick, dark, and real, swelling from the seemingly dead mouths and eyes of every single one of the taxidermized animal heads on the walls. A steady, unnatural gale-force wind started to swirl around the room as bright, sinister flames began bursting out from the confines of the fireplace, almost as if they were trying to latch onto Dipper and Pacifica as they rushed to meet each other near the center of the room. The danger seemed to escalate more and more with each passing second as the animal heads, still dripping with unexplainable blood and blank, unseeing eyes glowing a sharp, warning red, began to raise their voices in a deep, unearthly, ominous chant.

“ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS! ANCIENT SINS!”

On and on this mysterious mantra continued as the objects in the room began to take flight, books, furniture, and antiques all rising into the air before they haphazardly glided around the appropriately terrified pair. “Dipper, what is this?!” Pacifica cried about the incredible din surrounding them, her trembling hands held close to her as her long hair whipped about in the hurricane winds.

“I-it’s a category 10…” Dipper replied, absolutely shaken. After all, the last time he had witnessed a supernatural disaster this dire or intense was when he had watched his own body be taken over by a vicious dream demon while he floated outside of it, distraught and helpless. And while this haunting was nowhere near as immediately catastrophic as that had been, it was still every bit as deadly, a fact he was starkly reminded of as his only real option for taking care of it, the vial of anointed water, abruptly shattered right in his hand.

“ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES,” the animal heads changed their chant into something new, but every bit as dark and sinister. “THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE!”

“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Pacifica practically screamed as she grabbed Dipper by the suit jacket and shook him desperately.

“I-I… I don’t know!” Dipper answered truthfully, realizing that he was actually quite unprepared for something of this caliber.

“What do you mean you don’t know?!” Pacifica shot back in disbelief. “Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of supernatural expert or something?!”

“Who on earth told you that?!”

“Uh, the town newspaper did!”

“Whoa, really?” Dipper paused, rather pleasantly surprised to hear this. “That’s… actually pretty awesome.”

“Focus!” Pacifica snapped harshly. “We’re about to be killed by creepy dead animal heads and flying furniture, remember?!”

“Don’t worry,” Dipper assured as evenly as he could, given the circumstances. “It can’t possibly get any worse than this!”

Of course, he was immediately proven wrong as the fire violently sparked up again, forcing the pair to dive under the nearby table to avoid getting burned. And they did so just in time as, out of nowhere, a powerful black skeletal arm emerged from the flames, still completely consumed in them as it smashed down onto the ground. The rest of the charred skeleton subsequently pulled itself out of the fire, something akin to skin and clothes forming around the bones as they formed the visage of a large, burly man, the lumberjack from the painting himself, who was clearly deceased based on his rotting, grisly form. A sharp, deadly axe had cleaved his head, the obvious cause of his death that still remained in his undead form. And his manner was every bit as outraged and heated as the burning inferno he had emerged from as he belted out his first proclamation in a deep, rumbling voice.

“I smell… a NORTHWEST!” the ghost growled, blue flames igniting in place of where hair and a beard would normally be as his one remaining eye shot open. Dipper and Pacifica made sure to remain hidden out of the ghost’s view under the table as he began to storm around the room, another axe materializing in his hand as he dragged it threateningly across the floor with each torturously slow step. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

“Hurry!” Pacifica whispered to Dipper sharply as he frantically flipped through the journal for answers. “Read through your dumb book already and figure out a way to get rid of that… thing!”

“I’m looking!” Dipper retorted just as harshly as he pulled out his blacklight. “And its not dumb, ok? This book is gonna save our lives! Alright, here we go; Advice:” Hoping that the category 10 ghost page would hold the key to ousting this great, newfound threat, he held the blacklight over the page, only to get the lone, disconcerting message of “Pray for mercy!” instead of anything tangibly useful. “Aw, seriously?!”

Matters were only made worse as the table, their only real cover from the ghost and his deadly axe, suddenly hovered away, leaving them directly in the menacing specter’s line of sight, much to their shared horror. “You should not have come here!” he shouted, not even hesitating to swipe at the pair with his weapon, which they only barely dodged.

“This way! Hurry!” Pacifica exclaimed, grabbing Dipper by the arm and quickly pulling him up before they rushed out of the room. The ghost was in hot pursuit, his fiery manner sparkly with murderous intent as he relentlessly chased them down the mansion’s maze-like halls, ready to strike.

Northwest Manor’s massive doors finally opened to the illustrious group of invited party guests as Preston proudly stood by to greet them all, his wide, cordial grin completely hiding any implications that ghostly danger was currently lurking through the mansion’s halls. “Welcome, dukes, duchesses, sultans and sportsmen! And—ugh… Mayor Dewey…”

“Preston!” Dewey exclaimed brightly, rushing forward as he threw an arm over the billionaire’s shoulder. “We’re so honored to be here, isn’t that right, Buck?”

“Not really,” Buck dryly stated, his arms crossed and his shades still on despite his formal attire.

“Ha! Isn’t my son just hilarious?!” Dewey chuckled with an incredibly forced laugh as he snapped a finger at one of his aids, not noticing Preston’s quickly growing aggravation with him. “Now, smile for the campaign promotion!” The mayor did so brightly, even if the billionaire made his annoyance quite clear before finally acting upon it as soon as the aid snapped a photo.

“Alright, Dewey, that’s enough of your ‘campaigning’ for one evening,” Preston scowled scornfully, pushing the mayor back into the crowd. “Now then,” the billionaire continued, quickly regaining his composure as he addressed the rest of his guests. “Tonight we will enjoy only the finest of tastes and only the snootiest of laugher.” Someone in the crowd let out an incredibly haughty chortle in response to this remark as Preston nodded in approval. “That’s the ticket!” he exclaimed, motioning for the guests to finally step inside.

Despite the party’s exclusivity, there were still quite a few attendees who filed in, most of them quite prominent in some regard, be it wealth or reputation. Within this group were some of the town’s most esteemed medical professionals, and among them was Dr. Maheswaran, with Connie almost sullenly following in after her. After since her mother had confiscated Rose’s sword, she had been trying her best not to fall even further out of Priyanka’s good graces than she already had. Hence why she had been obedient, almost rigidly so, all the way leading up to their arrival at the party itself, in the hopes that her mother would loosen up her newly tightened reigns for the evening. And fortunately enough, her vigilance paid off, as that’s exactly what Priyanka did.

“I have to go meet with the other doctors before we propose the hospital sponsorship to the Northwests,” the doctor said to her daughter, her tone as serious as ever. “I trust that you can mind yourself like a proper young lady without getting into any more trouble for an hour or two, right?”

“Y-yes, ma’am,” Connie nodded apprehensively, keeping her poise and manner as polite and compliant as possible as to not give away her intention of going against her rules.

“Good,” Priyanka nodded in staunch satisfaction as she began to walk off. “And remember what we talked about on the way here!”

“Don’t worry, Mom,” Connie assured with a rather fake smile. “I-I don’t think you’ll need to worry about me stumbling across any swords around here!” Her smile immediately fell into partial guilt as soon as her mother fully turned away, since she knew she would soon be seeking out the very sword that had gotten her into all this trouble on her own accord. Still, she didn’t let herself linger on that guilt for too long as Steven managed to spot her amidst the crowd and didn’t hesitate to come running over.

“Connie!” he called with an elated smile as he caught her off guard with a sudden hug.

“S-Steven!” Connie chuckled as the broke apart. “You actually made it!”

“Yeah, it turns out the Gems actually get invited to this party every year,” Steven’s smile quickly turned to wonder as he got a better view of Connie’s attire for the evening: a floor length turquoise dress with short sleeves and a dark sash, one that complimented her neatly-done updo quite nicely. “W-wow… Connie, you look great!”

“Thanks…” Connie blushed, her reddened cheeks matching the young Gem’s own. “You look really nice too. B-but there’s no time to talk about that now! We gotta get your mother’s sword back while my mom is distracted!”

“Right,” Steven nodded, resolved. “So where is it?”

“She left it outside in the car,” Connie reported with a worried frown. “Which means that we can’t just go out through the front door to get it, everybody will notice. There has to be another way out of the mansion…”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to find it!” the young Gem grinned encouragingly. “Come on!” And with that, Steven grabbed Connie’s hand, reigniting the warmth in her cheeks as they slipped through the party’s growing crowds towards the back of the ballroom, where the beginning of the hallways leading to the inner sanctums of the mansion awaited. Neither of them had the faintest clue about the manor’s layout, which was why they had to settle on picking a random hallway and seeing where it led. They managed to do so without Priyanka, or really anyone else for that matter noticing them, mostly since everyone was already so distracted with the fancy offerings of the party itself. And as soon as they were out of the party proper, they both noticed that the mansion’s lofty halls were much more spacious, quiet, and even eerie than either of them would have thought they would be.

“Whoa, this place is even bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside,” Steven remarked as they made their steady way down the corridor they had chosen. “And that’s saying something seeing as how it looks huge on the outside.”

“What do the Northwests even need such a huge mansion for anyway?” Connie asked, making her disdain for the wealthy family as apparent as ever. “They probably don’t even use half the rooms in here and if they do, then they’re probably just filled with stuff they never look at or use.”

“You’re sounding like the Gems did earlier,” Steven remarked with a small, bemused smile. “They… really aren’t that happy to be here.”

“Well, who can blame them?” Connie huffed. “I’d rather be anywhere else but here either, but at least this party his good for one thing: helping us get that sword back.”

“True,” Steven nodded. “Though I don’t really know what we’re gonna do with the sword once we get it back… Lion didn’t come with us to the party, so I guess we’ll just have to sneak it back inside and hope your mom doesn’t see-” The young Gem stopped short as a display case resting against the nearby wall caught his attention as they were passing it. A case that was filled with what seemed to be rather clusters of conjoined gemstones.

“Steven?” Connie frowned as she also paused, noticing his apparent surprise. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, uh, nothing,” Steven glanced away from the case briefly. “Its just… these rocks look an awful lot like the ones those Gem experiments in the Kindergarten had…”

“Really?” Connie asked, concerned. “You don’t think…?”

“…No, they couldn’t be,” the young Gem shook his head. “We bubbled all of them up. A-and even if there were any left that we didn’t find, how would they have ended up here?”

“You got me,” Connie said with a small, reassuring smile. “Now come on, we gotta hurry and get that sword!”

Steven nodded in firm agreement, only taking a very short final glance back at the gemstone display case before he hurried after her. Still, as they continued their way down the narrow mansion hall, neither one of them noticed as one of the odd, strangely familiar-looking gem clusters slowly began to glow, its kin all steadily starting to do the same.

Given their tarnished history with the Northwest family in general, the Gems had decided early on to make their contempt towards their party very apparent. They refused to engage themselves in interacting with any of the transparently pompous guests as they instead hung back together near the other end of the ballroom, their disdainful, disapproving scowls clear as they refused to show any signs of willingly indulging in this wasteful finery.

Well, that is, save for Amethyst.

The purple Gem had essentially overtaken an entire buffet table, scarfing down all of the expensive entrees she could get her hands on, much to Pearl’s ever increasing aggravation.

“Amethyst, could you please try to control yourself for a change!?” the white Gem asked, her arms crossed as she continued standing alongside Garnet nearby.

“No can do, P,” Amethyst said as she essentially poured an entire punch bowl on herself. “These Northwests may throw some lame parties, but at least the snacks never disappoint. I gotta admit, I almost kinda missed this.”

“Well, I certainly haven’t,” Pearl concluded, turning her nose upward coldly. “Now get down from there, you’re making a mess!”

“Good,” Garnet spoke up, undermining the white Gem with a nod of approval, much to her teammates’ confusion.

“Huh?”

“Go ahead and make a mess,” the Gem leader clarified staunchly. “It’s not like the Northwests don’t deserve it after everything they’ve done over the years.”

While Pearl was still rather lost by this bizarre order, Amethyst was more than happy to follow it through. “What, you mean like… this?” she grinned as she dropped a very expensive china tray onto the ground, shattering it upon contact.

“That works,” Garnet nodded in approval as she discreetly summoned her gauntlet. “So does this.” With a simple flick of her fingers at the window behind her, a large crack rippled across its otherwise pristine surface as the Gem leader simply smiled in smug satisfaction.

“G-Garnet!” Pearl gasped, appalled by such destructive behavior.

“Aw, c’mon, Pearl, don’t be such a stick in the mud!” Amethyst goaded, tossing another plate to the ground. “After all, you were the one who painted that awesome tag on their wall a few weeks ago. How is this any worse than that?”

The white Gem hesitated briefly, but in the end, her usual desire for order was quickly overruled by her longstanding contempt for the Northwests and all those like them. “Well…” she began by summoning her spear. “I suppose a tiny little scratch wouldn’t hurt too much…” With this, she placed the tip of her weapon against the smooth marble floor before she began to slowly drag it, leaving a long, marring scratch across the pristine surface. “Oops. Did I do that?” she grinned, already exhilarated by this act of rebellion.

“Yeah, that’s the spirit!” Amethyst cheered, continuing her own form of vandalism as Garnet and Pearl both took to theirs, all three of them reveling in taking their age-old scorn towards the Northwests out, even if it was in a rather simple way.

It stood to reason that a party as fancy and upscale as Northwest Fest would have food and appetizers that were every bit as fancy and upscale to match. And though Amethyst had partaken of the many buffet tables around the ballroom, fortunately she hadn’t gotten to the fondue fountains yet, which was where Candy had been firmly planted for at least the past ten minutes.

“Cheese, chocolate,” she said to herself, essentially entranced as she moved her stick between the two melted substances. “Cheese, chocolate-”

“Candy, listen to me carefully,” Mabel finally interjected as she stepped over to her, halting her constant switching. “You’re caught in a sweet-savory loop. You need to stop now, before you’re lost to the chocolatey cheesiness forever! So put the fondue fork down.”

“I want to… but I can’t…” Candy mused, still completely transfixed on her fondue stick. That is, until most of the ballroom’s attention was garnished by a butler near the front doors.

“Announcing Baron Marius von Fundhauser!” he proclaimed, stepping out of the way to reveal the young baron. Upon a very first glance at him, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were all instantly enamored, all three of them awestruck by his stately, royal attire and long, silky auburn hair. Clearly, he carried the air of a majestic baron in both title and manner as he strode into the ballroom confidently, the girls’ watching him in utter captivation all the while.

“Guten tag!” Marius greeted the trio with a friendly smile as he passed by them, apparently not noticing their jaws unanimously hanging agape in amazement.

“Guten take me now!” Mabel exclaimed, lovestruck as she started hurrying after him, only for Grenda and Candy to quickly stop her.

“Mabel, we had a truce!” Grenda frowned, still clearly serious about keeping said truce.

“Yes, yes, a truce,” Candy nodded, somewhat less so as she forced a complacent smile. “Uh, Grenda? Can you go fetch us some fancy napkins?”

“Wow, ok!” Grenda blithely agreed, innocently heading off to do so.

“Listen, Mabel,” Candy began, dropping her voice down to a whisper as soon as Grenda was out of earshot. “I don’t know if I can follow this truce. He is too adorable!”

“Ugh, I know, right?!” Mabel gushed tightly, almost relieved for Marius’ welcome arrival and Steven’s subsequent, unexplained disappearance from the party. “But what do we do? He’s unattainable! I mean did you see his hair!? It’s like he was straight out of a shampoo commercial!”

“What if we flirt with him as a team?” Candy suggested. “With our cuteness combined, one of us might have a chance!”

“It��s the perfect plan! But… what about Grenda?”

“I love Grenda, Mabel, but these boys are fancy! Her aggressive flirting style might scare them away!”

The pair glanced over at the larger girl, who was in the midst of “fliting” with another boy, though in her own unique, incredibly forward way. “What’s on your shirt?” she asked, pointing to his chest until he glanced down, at which point she proceeded to bring her finger up and flick him hard in the nose. “Ha! Gullible! Loser!”

Upon seeing this display, both Mabel and Candy nodded, both of them immediately on board for their plan to win Marius over between just the two of them. Really, the figured that it would be better for everyone if they left Grenda out of this loop, as much as they didn’t want to hurt her feelings. After all, the baron was exactly that, a baron. They couldn’t risk the chance of Grenda scaring someone as prestigious and esteemed as Marius off, or worse yet, offending him or hurting him at her own expense. And if, in the process of keeping their attempts at courting Marius between just the two of them, either Mabel or Candy ended up catching his eye and his affections, then, they supposed, that would just be an added benefit.

With the party in full swing as it was, few guests bothered to wander anywhere in the mansion past the main ballroom where all the festivities were being held. And yet, if any guest happened to start wandering the manor’s halls, then they would have likely caught sight of a fiery lumberjack ghost relentlessly chasing a pair of fearfully fleeing kids with nothing less than the absolute intent to kill.

Fortunately though, Pacifica knew the winding corridors and lengthy halls of her mansion home well as she navigated herself and Dipper through them while the ghost sped after them, chuckling threateningly all the while. Despite their efforts to shake the spirit off their trail, he kept on them tightly, his exact motivation for wanting their ends rather unclear, though that was hardly what either of them were concerned with as much as staying alive.

“What are we gonna do?!” Pacifica shouted amidst her growing breathlessness as they continued fleeing. “We can’t keep running from that thing forever!”

“I’m looking!” Dipper shouted back, the journal in one hand and his sword in the other. Of course, it was of little use against the incorporeal ghost, but at the very least it was good for fending off the stray pieces of furniture and dinnerware the specter sent flying their way.

“Well look faster!” the heiress snapped impatiently, worriedly glancing over her shoulder as they rushed through one of the mansion’s several inner gardens. The ground was still muddy from the earlier rain showers, which made their trek through it somewhat haphazard, but all the same, they managed to make it to the other end with the ghost still only a few dangerously short feet behind them.

“Come on, come on…” Dipper muttered, frantically flipping through the journal as much as he could until he finally found what he was looking for. “Aha! I got it! Haunted paintings can only be trapped in a silver mirror. And look!” he pointed ahead to the pristinely white parlor they were running straight towards, or more particularly, the large mirror conveniently hanging from its wall. “There’s a silver mirror right there!”

“Wait!” Pacifica exclaimed, grabbing Dipper’s arm before he could so much as even step foot into the room. “Don’t go in there! This room has my parent’s favorite carpet pattern! They’ll lose it if we track mud in there!”

“What? Are you serious?” Dipper scoffed, unable to believe that the heiress was even remotely concerned with something so unimportant. “Pacifica, we don’t have time for this!”

“W-well we need to make time!” Pacifica retorted, her eyes wide with fear that seemed to go beyond the threat the ghost posed. “We’ll find another way!”

“Why do we need to find another way if there’s a perfectly fine way right in front of us!?” Dipper argued crossly, trying to press his way past her into the room.

“Because my parents will kill me if I don’t listen to them and mess up their rug!”

“Why are you so afraid of your parents?!”

“You wouldn’t understand!”

By now, the argument between the pair had escalated quite a bit in intensity as they roughly grappled with each other, Dipper desperately trying to get into the room while Pacifica desperately tried keeping him out. They could both hear the ghost steadily approaching by his deep, ominous laughter alone, but he had largely been forgotten as Pacifica unexpectedly grabbed the journal, hoping that prying it away from Dipper would be enough to convince him to move on. And fortunately for her, this plan worked as she pulled it away from him, surprising him quite a bit as their eyes met in a very short beat of awkward tension before the heiress took off running down the adjacent hallway with the journal in hand.

“Hey!” Dipper shouted, adamantly running after her. “Pacifica, give that back!”

“Oh what?” Pacifica smirked back over her shoulder, triumphant and relieved that her impromptu plan had succeeded. “You want your dumb nerd book? Then come and get it, Pines!”

Dipper couldn’t help but let out a small growl of frustration at her teasing, still rather taken aback by the heiress’ stubbornness and boldness as he ran after her nonetheless. And of course, all the while, the lumberjack ghost continued its haunting chase after them both, more than ready to rain his fiery fury down the moment he inevitably caught up with them.

After traversing and admittedly getting lost amidst the mansion’s many hallways, Steven and Connie had eventually stumbled upon a back door that led to the large parking area roped off for guests behind the manor. And, though it took some doing to find Dr. Maheswaran’s vehicle amidst the myriad of limos and sports cars, they eventually reached it, only to find a setback they admittedly hadn’t anticipated.

“It’s locked…” Connie frowned in disappointment as she tried pulling the trunk open. “Ugh, we should have seen this coming. There’s no way my mom would leave something like a sword in her car without keeping it locked up tight. What are we supposed to do now?”

“Hm… I think I have an idea…” Steven said, looking to the lock thoughtfully. “Do you have a hair pin or something like that?”

“Um, yeah?” Connie complied in confusion, pulling a non-essential pin out of her updo.

“Thanks!” the young Gem grinned as he started wedging the pin into the lock.

“Where did you learn how to pick locks from?” Connie asked, her brow furrowed as she watched Steven work.

“Amethyst and Mr. Pines taught me after I walked in on them trying to open a safe they found somewhere,” Steven explained with an innocent smile. “So they taught me how to pick locks in exchange for not ‘spilling it’ to anyone else about the safe. Tough I’m still not sure why they wouldn’t want anyone else knowing about something like that…”

“Uh, probably because they stole that safe instead of finding it, Steven…” Connie pointed out.

“…Oh. Well, at least I learned something useful,” Steven shrugged as he successfully unlocked the trunk. Sure enough, Rose’s sword lay within, and despite a moment of initial trepidation for breaking her mother’s strict orders, Connie took the blade nonetheless, strapping it over her shoulder before shutting the trunk behind her.

“Ok, we got it,” she said, letting out the deep breath she felt as though she had been holding in since this entire situation began. “Now we just have to sneak it out of the party without my mom seeing…”

“And without the Gems seeing either,” Steven noted as they began making their way back up the hill to the mansion. “I sorta didn’t tell them about this whole sword thing, and I feel like they probably wouldn’t be too happy if they found out its pretty much the reason why I begged them to come to this party in the first place…”

“I guess we’re gonna be on double duty when it comes to being stealthy for the rest of the night then,” Connie said with resolve as they reentered the manor the same way they had left it. However, the pair stopped short as soon as they stepped inside upon seeing what lay before them. The highly decorated hallway was in shambles, wall tapestries torn and decorative displays laying in shattered remains on the ground without any rhyme or reason at all. “Whoa…” Connie mused, her voice dropping down to an apprehensive whisper. “What could have done all this?”

“D-didn’t Dipper say something about Pacifica asking him to help out with a ghost haunting the mansion?” Steven asked nervously, drawing a bit closer to Connie out of fear.

“Yeah but… a ghost wouldn’t have been able to do this much damage… would it?”

“I… I don’t know, maybe,” Steven shook his head fretfully, remembering well just how much destruction the convenience store ghosts had cause at the start of the summer. “We should go find Dipper and ask him if he’s seen-”

The young Gem was cut off as a low, rather inhuman moan echoed from the end of the hall in front of them. The pair froze, their hands unceremoniously intertwining tightly as a large, looming shadow draped itself over the wall, its source unknown as it grew in size and intimidation. Neither Steven or Connie dared to even breathe as the unearthly groans raised in volume, the shadow coming to a stop as a massive arm slammed down into the open before the rest of its twisted body emerged from around the corner. Simply put, it was a mass of multiple mismatched limbs, all strewn together into a hulking, massive, discolored body, if it could even be called that at all. And, resting at the center of where its face would have been if it had one, was a very familiar cluster of conjoined gemstones.

“C-Connie?” Steven whispered, gripping her hand tighter as this monster began lumbering its way towards them through the mess it had made earlier. “I-I think that’s one of the Gem mutants I was telling you about…”

“What? Are you sure?” Connie asked, her voice just as quiet, even though they had clearly already attracted the mutant’s attention.

“Preeeeetty sure at this point,” the young Gem nodded stiffly, knowing this creature looked quite close to the ones they had encountered at the Kindergarten the other week.

“Well then, we got this sword back at just the right time,” Connie scowled towards the mutant as she swiftly drew Rose’s sword, wielding the massive blade with both hands as she took up an offensive stance. Steven watched in amazement as she rushed forwards, seemingly undeterred as she pulled the mighty sword back before delivering a clean swipe straight through the mutant’s weighty midsection before it could even try to attack. With a pained whine, the forced fusion imploded, its shard-composed gemstone tumbling to the floor before Steven ran forward to bubble it and send it away.

“Looks like you were right,” Connie said, still gripping Rose’s sword tightly as she looked around for any more. “Those rocks really were Gem mutants after all.”

“Yeah, but why would they be-” Steven was cut off as a loud crash sounded out from the other end of the hall. This was immediately and unsurprisingly followed by the emergence of even more gem mutants, both big and small, rounding the corner en masse as they walked, crawled, sidled, anything they could to inch their way towards the aptly frightened pair. “Uh, C-Connie? I think now would be a good time to run!” Steven warned, grabbing her by the arm as he tried to pull her down the other way.

“No, Steven, I can take them!” Connie protested, already positioning her sword to strike.

“I-I know, but still!” Steven pleaded, fearful for her safety more than his own really. After all, the last thing he wanted was to see her get hurt as a result of overconfidence in her newly acquired blade, even as powerful as it was. “We gotta get the Gems! They can help us take care of these things before they can make it into the ballroom and end up hurting someone!”

“…You’re right,” Connie begrudgingly relented, sheathing her blade. “So come on, then! We have to hurry!”

“Right!” Steven readily agreed, leading the way out of the hallway that had already been claimed and decimated by the marauding gem mutants.

As Steven and Connie began their hasty flight through the mansion’s lofty halls, Dipper and Pacifica continued theirs, with the former still chasing after the latter in the hopes of reclaiming the journal before the ghost could catch up to them.

“Pacifica!” Dipper shouted after the heiress, quite surprised at how fast she was. “I’m serious! Give me back the journal, now!”

“Why should I?” Pacifica countered just as harshly. “So you can go running back to that room, get mud all over the floors, and get me in trouble with my parents? Because last time I checked, that’s not what you’re here for!”

“You’re right, I’m here to get rid of that ghost!” Dipper reiterated, severely annoyed. “But I can’t do that if you won’t let me just because your scared of setting off your parents for some weird reason!”

“I already told you!” the heiress shot back, gripping the journal in her arms tightly as she continued running. “You don’t understand!”

“Then help me understand!” Dipper urged, both out of frustration and genuine curiosity as to why she seemed so adamant about all this. Interestingly enough though, this was what finally got Pacifica to stop in her tracks, her expression startled and strangely soft as she turned to face him.

“W-what?” she asked rather quietly, taken aback that anyone would even inquire about the matter at all, especially him. However, before Dipper could even reply, a brand new threat made itself apparent as it slammed down into the space directly behind Pacifica from the high ceiling above. It was a tall, lanky creature, with six disproportionate arms and no face to speak of as it balanced on a pair of long, mismatched legs amidst towering over the frightened heiress, letting out a low, threatening groan all the while. Pacifica let out a horrified scream at this grotesque creature as it started to advance on her, her long dress tripping her up as she clumsily fell to the ground, shielding herself with her arm as the creature raised one of its many arms with the intent to strike. And yet… it was a strike she never felt.

Hesitantly, Pacifica opened her tightly shut eyes and took a glance back towards the monster, only to see something that shocked her just as much as its sudden appearance had. For standing squarely in between her and the multi-limbed creature was none other than Dipper, his sword raised as he firmly, fearlessly pressed back against the many hands pressed against it. Yet all the same he held his ground, his footing steady and his expression fierce as he warded off the mutant, eventually managing to push it back enough to give himself enough space to properly fight it. All the while, Pacifica remained practically frozen to her spot on the ground, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped as she watched in absolute awe as Dipper rushed towards the monster with a courageous shout, lashing out with his blade as he maneuvered with skill and ease. The creature was unable to keep up with him as he dodged its slow, sloppy movements, and in what seemed like no time at all, the tip of his sword had punctured the monster squarely in its back, resulting in its hideous form poofing into nothing more than a mismatched cluster of gem shards.

“A Gem mutant?” Dipper frowned in confusion as he carefully picked the compiled stone. “How’d this get in here? Pacifica, do you know anything about this thing?”

Strangely, he received no answer from the heiress as he glanced back to look at her, only to find that she was staring up at him, seemingly captivated, though for what reason, he had no idea. Still, try as she might, Pacifica couldn’t convince her body or her mind to respond properly as her thoughts raced randomly and her cheeks began flushing warm and pink as she kept her eyes on the boy who had effectively just saved her life. She couldn’t deny that, with both his suit and hair as mildly yet endearingly disheveled as they were, resolve and adrenaline still sparking in his eyes, and the sword still held confidently in his hand, he did look the slightest bit dashing, almost heroic even, though she’d never dare to admit that out loud.

“Uh… Pacifica? Are you ok?” Dipper asked, making the heiress realize that she had gone far too long without taking her eyes off him.

“W-wha—oh, uh, y-yeah!” she exclaimed, clearly flustered as she rejected the hand he had offered to help her stand in favor of doing so on her own. “I-I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t be. That weird arm thing wasn’t even that scary.”

“Oh sure it wasn’t,” Dipper remarked with a wry, rather playful smirk. “That’s why you screamed in terror as soon as you saw it, right?”

Pacifica shot him a disapproving glare at this, though it wasn’t as harsh as it admittedly could have been as she shoved the journal back into his arms. “Here, take you lame nerd book back,” she huffed, still trying to suppress her ongoing blush. “So… uh… where’d you learn how to do that?”

“Do what?”

“You know…” she held her hands behind her back as she nodded to his sword casually enough. “That.”

“Oh, sword fighting?” Dipper clarified, glancing to his blade before sheathing it. “Me and Connie have been taking lessons from Pearl for the past few weeks. It tends to come in handy when you deal with stuff like this a lot, which… yeah, I kinda do.”

“And… your family’s just… ok with you running around with a dangerous sword all the time?” Pacifica asked, slightly baffled by such apparent freedom.

“Uh… yeah?” Dipper shrugged, unsure of what she meant by this question. “Why wouldn’t they be?”

The heiress didn’t answer as she glanced down somewhat, her brow furrowing in both confusion and what almost felt like envy, though that couldn’t possibly be right. After all, how in the world could someone as well off and highly esteemed as her be jealous of someone as common and unrefined as him?

While it was quite likely that the ghost had lost track of them in the chaos that had just ensued, Dipper didn’t want to take any chances, which was why he took the lead in moving on. However, they barely even rounded the corner before they were held up again, though this time by it fortunately wasn’t by the ghost or any Gem mutants, but rather by Steven and Connie as they all accidentally happened to run smack into each other.

“Wha—Steven? Connie?” Dipper frowned in confusion upon seeing the pair at such a random juncture. “What are you guys doing here? Why aren’t you back at the party?”

“W-well, we got my mom’s sword back,” Steven began anxiously. “But then we ran into a ton of Gem mutants, just like the ones we fought at the Kindergarten!”

“Wait, you mean there are even more of those things running around here?” Dipper asked incredulously as he handed the remains of the mutant he had defeated over to Steven so it could be bubbled. “We were just attacked by one. How’d they even get into the mansion in the first place?”

“I don’t know…” Connie mused, her tone and expression growing quite suspicious as she glanced over at the nearby heiress. “That’s a really good question, isn’t it, Pacifica?”

“Oh what? You think I have something to do with this?” Pacifica asked harshly.

“Well, seeing as how all these Gem clusters were in a display case in your mansion, so it only makes sense that you’d know something about how they ended up here.”

“Well, I don’t,” the heiress huffed, her hands on her hips. “My parents probably bought them for the party and didn’t know they were actually gross, grabby, nightmarish freakshows.”

“Actually, they’re shattered Gems who were forced to fuse with each other,” Steven said with a sympathetic frown for the mutants’ plight.

“…I literally have no idea what any of that means,” Pacifica said, clearly out of the context loop. “Still, I don’t know anything about how those things wound up here.”

“Oh yeah? And how do we know you’re actually telling the truth?” Connie asked, still rather distrustful. And really, she believed she had every reason to be, given just how dangerous these Gem mutants were and just how not coincidental their presence in the mansion seemed to be. “After all, your family has a known history of lying when it comes to their dirty little secrets, so it wouldn’t be surprising at all if you inherited that bad habit right alongside all the money you don’t deserve.”

Pacifica let out an appalled gasp at this, outraged and offended by such an accusation as she took a bold, almost threatening step forward. “Ok, you know what, Maheswaran, I’m gonna-”

“Whoa, ok, hold it!” Dipper quickly interjected before any sort of scuffle could break out, both him and Steven rushing in to stand between the two incensed girls. “Connie, I know you’re uh, not really a fan of Pacifica, but as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think she’s lying about this.”

“Seriously, Dipper?” Connie scoffed. “You know how she is, we all do! Heck, for all you know, she could be lying to you about this whole ’ghost’ thing too!”

Dipper was actually quite prepared to correct Connie on this, not noticing Pacifica flinch slightly behind him as she realized this accusation was at least partially true. However, he really didn’t have to as the lumberjack ghost’s laughter began booming through the nearby corridor once again as he started to catch up with his victims.

“Its time to stop running, Northwest, and face you DOOM!” he shouted, finally appearing at the end of the hall with blue flames sparking all over his frightening form. All four of the kids let out a shared scream of terror as the spirit soared towards them at a breakneck speed, and all of the discourse concerning mutants and lies was quickly left behind as they unintentionally split up. Steven and Connie took off in the hallway they had just ran down, wanting to get back to the ballroom and find the Gems now more than ever with the appearance of this new ghostly threat. Still, the spirit paid them no mind as he continued pursuing his original targets, who were both desperately searching for any way they could find to subdue the ghost as they fled from him. In their frantic rush, they haphazardly turned a corner, only for Pacifica to end up tripping over her dress once more. She happened to grab Dipper by the sleeve in a last ditch attempt at steadying herself, only for them both to end up falling towards the nearby wall. Or rather, right through it. The ghost didn’t see this fortunately, as he glided straight on by while the pair tumbled into an apparently hidden storage room inconspicuously hidden behind a large tapestry.

“Huh? What’s this place?” Dipper asked as both him and Pacifica picked themselves up, glancing around the apparent collection of the Northwest’s various treasures and portraits.

“I… don’t know…” Pacifica admitted in apt confusion. “That’s weird. I don’t even know where this room is…”

“Hopefully the ghost and those Gem mutants don’t either…” Dipper remarked, taking a cursory peek back into the hallway.

“Yeah, maybe we’re safe,” the heiress let out a somewhat relieved breath, not noticing as the large sheet covering a painting behind her began to swell forward on its own accord. Dipper fortunately caught sight of this just in time as the sheet began to take on the clear, massive shape, one that reached out over Pacifica slowly and threateningly.

“Pacifica! Watch out!” he warned, drawing his sword as he rushed forward to defend her. Pacifica let out a frightened gasp as the ghost tossed the sheet away, laughing menacingly as he towered over her.

“Your fate is sealed!” the specter proclaimed, his blue flames rising as he prepared to strike the terrified heiress down once and for all. Dipper had just about reached her, unsure of what he was really going to do against the ghost with his sword alone, but he stopped short immediately upon noticing a discarded antique lying on the floor nearby, none other than a small, pure silver mirror.

“Prepare to die, Northwest!” the ghost shouted, his axe raised to deliver the final blow. Pacifica quickly braced herself for what would likely be a very painful end, only for Dipper to end up saving her from it at the last second. However, instead of doing so with his sword, this time he did so with the mirror, and the moment the ghost’s weapon made contact with it, everything seemed to happen at once. The entire room was engulfed in a blinding flash as Dipper was knocked back into Pacifica, who herself was pushed back towards the room’s small, low to the ground window. The pair was still completely in the dark about what was happening as they were practically launched out of the window, entangling themselves in its curtains as they rolled down a short hill, finally landing together at the bottom of it, breathless and rattled, but largely unharmed.

“W-what happened?” Pacifica asked her and Dipper both pulled themselves up. “Did you get him?”

At this, they both looked to the mirror, only to find an incredibly relieving sight: the ghost was trapped securely inside of it, demanding his freedom in an absolute fit of rage as he pounded against the other side of the glass to no avail. “Ha! Yes!” Dipper cheered, satisfied that at the very least one threat had been neutralized.

“We did it!” Pacifica exclaimed just as triumphantly, throwing her arms around Dipper without really thinking about it. Needless to say he was complete caught off guard by this unexpected hug, especially given the fact that it was coming from the heiress of all people. Still, what baffled him even more was the sudden rush of warmth he felt in his cheeks, coupled with the odd, yet strangely wistful feeling of not wanting it to end. It did, however, as Pacifica realized exactly what she was doing, her blush even brighter than Dipper’s as she quickly pulled away, averting his gaze as she awkwardly cleared her throat, wishing she could calm her racing heart and confused, flustered thoughts down already as she pulled out a dollar. “Uh… c-can I pay you to pretend that never happened?”

Despite being held up by the occasional minor Gem mutant, Steven and Connie eventually managed to navigate their way back to the main ballroom, only to stop short in surprise upon realizing that no one at the party was even remotely aware of the dangers lurking the halls just behind them. The pair ran into the midst of the celebrating crowd, more than ready to warn them all to flee the premises before it was too late. However, before they could even get a single person’s attention, they happened to accidently bump into the last person Connie had wanted to encounter at the moment.

“M-Mom!” she exclaimed in surprise upon running right into her mother’s torso. The doctor paused, looking away from the conversation she had been engaged in to her daughter instead, only to freeze with shock and motherly fury upon noticing the large pink sword strapped to her back.

“Connie!” Priyanka gasped, appalled. “How did you even—what are you doing with that?! I made a rule, no swords under any circumstances!”

“But mom-” Connie tried to argue, knowing that she needed to be armed in the dire circumstances they were facing.

“No,” the doctor interupted rigidly. “I told you once, and I can’t believe I have to tell you again! But its clear to me now that I can’t even trust you to so much as listen to me even after I put my foot down! So you leave me with no choice; you’re grounded until further notice. Hand that sword over, now.”

“But Mom, you don’t understand, I-”

“I said now!”

Connie flinched, clearly startled by her mother’s incredibly harsh tone as she let out a defeated sigh. With no other choice, she took the sword off her back and relinquished it, largely feeling as though she was handing over a piece of herself in the process. And as Steven caught sight of her utterly dejected expression, he found he could no longer stand by in silence.

“Er, Dr. Maheswaran, wait! You can’t take that sword away from Connie! She needs it—we need it to-”

“That’s quite enough,” Priyanka cut him off, sending him a fierce warning glare. “I’m not going to argue over this sword nonsense any longer. It’s done.”

“Mom, please-” Connie pleaded desperately only to be shot down one final time as her mother began to walk off, sword in hand.

“Done!” she reiterated, glaring back at her daughter with what was nothing less than absolute disappointment. Disappointment that left Connie feeling crushed even more than losing her sword had.

“So… what now?” Steven asked gently, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I guess we just go find the Gems and let them save the day, as usual…” Connie sighed, wrapping her arms around herself as she morosely headed off to do just that. Of course, what neither of the pair was aware of was that the Gems had actually taken their ongoing vandalizing spree up onto the roof, where they were currently in the process of spelling out the word “snobs” in huge letters using paint Amethyst had “happened to find”, much to the enjoyment of the still large crowd gathered outside the gates below. But even still, Steven and Connie began duly, almost solemnly even pressing their way through the party, knowing that with the horde of Gem mutants drawing ever closer and Rose’s sword no longer a viable option, they were the only hope they had left.

With the ghost finally subdued and captured, Dipper and Pacifica blithely went to go report their shared success to the heiress’ parents. And while the Northwests weren’t as openly elated or excited as the young pair, they were still quite relieved to know that their haunting had been taken care of and their immaculate party saved.

“Well, Pacifica, you really found the right man for the job,” Preston remarked, snapping his fingers to signal to the nearby butler to shake Dipper’s hand in his place.

“We can’t thank you enough,” Priscilla said before a brief pause that ended with her nodding to the butler. “That’s enough.”

“Hey, just holding up my end of the deal,” Dipper grinned as he took the mirror the ghost was in and prepared to head out.

“Wait, leaving already?” Pacifica asked in slight disappointment. “You’re at the world’s best party, dummy. Are you sure you wanna go so soon?”

“Well I’d love to stay,” Dipper said with a smile just as playful as the heiress’. “But I’ve got a category 10 ghost to dispose of and then I should really go help Steven and Connie out with the rest of those Gem mutants.”

“Oh that’s right, I almost forgot just how adventurous your life is,” Pacifica rolled her eyes with a lightly teasing smirk.

“Heh, yeah,” Dipper chuckled, not paying too much attention to where he was going as he kept his sights on the heiress behind him. Which was how he ended up walking straight into one of the garden’s pillars. Pacifica was unable to contain her laughter at this, something that flustered Dipper quite a bit as he backed up and tried to play his clumsiness off as intentional. “O-oh, uh, l-like you said: a-adventurous.”

“Oh yeah, running into a pillar,” Pacifica quipped, still chuckling. “That’s totally an epic quest right there.”

Despite still being somewhat embarrassed, Dipper couldn’t help but finally join in on the heiress’ ongoing amused laughter, something that only died down between them as he sent her a small wave of farewell, one that she returned with a warm, genuine smile. He held up a similar smile as he departed, unable to deny that this misadventure, despite all of its harrowing moments, had ended on a much better note than he had could have ever expected anything pertaining to Pacifica Northwest to. For instead of being just as closed off and callously coldhearted as she had always come across to him before, it seemed as though there was another side to her: a playful, daring, capable side that came across as so much more authentic than the haughty front she usually seemed to put up. And even more unexpected than that was the fact that he had found himself taking a genuine liking of that side of the heiress, one that he hoped to see again in any of their future encounters. “Call me crazy, but… maybe she’s not so bad after all…” Dipper remarked to himself once he was out of the heiress’ earshot, surprised that he was even admitting something like that, but pleasantly surprised nonetheless.

His satisfaction was soon cut short, however, as a mocking, knowing laugh sounded from within the mirror in his hand. “What are you laughing about, man?” Dipper asked, glancing down at the trapped ghost in apt confusion. “I defeated you.”

“You’ve been had, boy,” the ghost said with another bitter laugh. “The Northwests lied to you, just as they did to me and my kin one hundred and fifty years ago.”

“…What do you mean?” Dipper ventured, genuinely curious as the ghost began to recount his tale of woe.

“One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber-folk to build them a mansion atop the hill. We were told it would be a service to the town, that once a year they would throw a grand party that would be open to the people of Gravity Falls, and all would share in the bounty of their wealth! It took years of backbreaking labor and sacrifice, but the promise of such a luxorious feast kept all of us going as we worked towards the manor’s completion, aided by a group of strong, magical, yet kindly women the Northwests had contracted to help the project along.”

“Wait, magical women?” Dipper interrupted, intrigued by this point in particular. “You mean the Crystal Gems?”

“Yes,” the ghost nodded disdainfully. “The Crystal Gems were invaluable in helping us raise these stately halls, but on the night we needed them most, they were nowhere to be found to stop the injustice committed against us lumberjacks. For when it was time for the grand party the Northwests promised the common folk of the town, they coldly refused to let us in. And with the trees we had cut to build the mansion gone, the mudslides began. While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm and met my end to the very axe I had used to build their undeserved empire. And so I said with final breath: ‘One-fifty years I’ll return from death, and if the gate’s still closed to the town, wealthy blood will stain the ground!’ A curse passed down across every generation of Northwests, even to this day.”

“So… wait a minute,” Dipper said once the ghost was finished, quickly putting the pieces together of how everything he had just heard related back to the present. Which, in turn created a picture he was far from happy with. “The Northwests knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice? …I’ll be right back…”

With the state of the party as seemingly secured as it was, Pacifica had returned to her expected spot by her parents’ side as they mingled with their wealthy guests. Yet her thoughts were hardly in the fancy festivities going on around her as they usually were during Northwest Fest and instead they were focused on the boy she had spent the earlier half of her evening with. She found it so incredibly strange that just a few hours ago, she had barely even spared a second thought towards Dipper, viewing him as just as common and ordinary as anyone else. Yet now, after the past few hours of narrowly surviving a deadly haunting with him, she couldn’t deny that he somehow fascinated her in ways that confused yet excited her all at once. And as she thought about his brazen swordsmanship, his clever readiness for almost any situation, his awkward yet almost frustratingly endearing laughter, Pacifica couldn’t help but sail through the evening with a distant, almost dreamy smile on her face, one that was filled with an unknown yet brimming longing to see him again.

A longing that was incidentally fulfilled sooner than she thought it would; though in the last way she could have wanted it to.

The Northwests were in the midst of entertaining dignitaries in the foyer when the mansion’s front doors suddenly burst open, revealed an incredibly indignant Dipper behind them. “Northwests!” he exclaimed angrily as he marched in, mirror still in hand. “You have some explaining to do!”

“Dipper! You came back!” Pacifica instantly perked up, a bright smile on her face as she began to rush over to him. Though it was quick to disappear as he shot her a particularly harsh, glare, one that was a very far cry from the warm smile he had left her with.

“You lied to me!” he accused furiously before addressing the entire family. “All of you did! All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party and you could have broken the curse! But you just made me do your dirty work instead!”

Pacifica took in a sharp breath at this, knowing that he had discovered the one wrench in all of this that she had hoped he wouldn’t find out, especially as the newfound camaraderie began forming between them. But before she could even try to explain anything, her father was quick to only make things worse.

“Look at who you’re talking to, boy,” Preston began coldly, essentially ignoring the incredibly hostile scowl Dipper was sending up at him. “I’m hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. Do you really think they’d come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?”

“My kind?” Dipper repeated with an appalled scoff, not even bothering to contest the billionaire any further. After all, he had expected as much from the head of the Northwest household, but he had foolishly come to believe that their daughter was different, that she wasn’t just another pompous, heartless sob, that she had at least some redeeming shred of actual humanity in her. But as he had just discovered, none of that was true at all. “Looks like I was right about you all along,” he said to Pacifica bitterly, not even caring about her genuinely distraught expression. “You’re just as bad as your parents. Another link in the world’s worst chain!”

“N-no! Dipper, you don’t understand!” Pacifica protested earnestly, determined to set the record straight. “I’m sorry, they made me lie to you! I should have told you everything from the start, but-” The heiress was abruptly cut off by the sharp, sudden peal of the bell in her father’s hand, one that instantly silenced her back into submission as she glanced down submissively, ashamed by her own inability to resist it, ashamed by the fact that she had even agreed to this deceptive charade in the first placed, ashamed by everything really, but mostly, she was ashamed of herself.

“Enjoy the party,” Preston remarked mockingly as Dipper turned to head out, not even bothering to send Pacifica a second glance in his palpable fury, something that made her heart ache even more than just about anything else. “It’s the last time you and your kind will ever come.”

As vehemently outraged with the Northwests as he was, Dipper knew there wasn’t much he could do get back at them for their despicable actions. So instead of frustrating himself further, he sullenly took the mirror outside, following the journal’s instructions to create the proper setup needed to oust the ghost from the mortal plane. “Stupid Northwests, making me do their exorcism for them,” he grumbled to himself after placing the mirror at the center of the circle of candles. With everything in place, he began to read the journal’s spell to get rid of ghosts, though given the circumstances, he was hardly invested in the matter whatsoever “‘Exodus demonous, spookus scarus, aintafraidus noghostus’-”

“Dipper… Dipper!” the ghost called from within the mirror. “Please let me have my revenge on the Northwests. You hate them just as much as I!”

“Hey, I feel for you, I really do,” Dipper conceded and it was true, for more reasons than one. Even aside from the fact that they had both been made fools of by the Northwests, this ghost wasn’t exactly the first being trapped inside a mirror he had taken pity on. “It’s just… my sister and my friends are in there and you seem just a little unstable…”

“Very well, boy,” the ghost hung his head in apparent acceptance of his fate. “But… before you banish my soul, may these tired lumber eyes gaze upon the trees one final time?”

“Uh, I guess,” Dipper said, somewhat confused by this odd request though he obliged nonetheless, picking the mirror up and holding it towards the nearby forest. “Go nuts, man.”

Upon getting even just a glimpse at the trees, the ghost laughed wildly as the sight of the forest empowered him enough to ignite his flames brighter and hotter, to the point that their heat rapidly spread to his mirror prison itself. Dipper didn’t even have time to be confused about what was happening before the mirror’s handle suddenly turned red hot, burning his hand to the point that he was forced to let go of it. The glass shattered the instant it made contact with the ground and with it the ghost exploded from its ruined shards, paying no mind to the startled boy who had accidentally released him as he set his sights on the mansion once more.

“Yes! Vengeance!” he proclaimed with a triumphant laugh, speeding towards the manor with the intent of finally fulfilling his bloodthirsty vendetta.

“Oh no!” Dipper exclaimed, aptly alarmed as he remembered who else was still in the mansion. “Mabel! Steven! Connie!” Despite his lasting anger at the Northwests, he knew well that he couldn’t let the ghost accomplish his violent ends so long as innocent people were in danger. Which was why, after making sure his blade was strapped securely to his back, he rushed back up towards the mansion, unsure of what he was going to do to stop this disaster but determined to try rather than do nothing, as he assumed the Northwests were very likely to do.

With their freeform destruction on the roof complete, the Gems returned to the party proper, mischievous grins on their faces as they continued their own form of “revenge” by turning over tables, piercing through expensive paintings, and breaking priceless antiques. Of course, they were always discreet enough in doing so that no one really noticed, but still, they couldn’t deny that they were all three having genuine fun in their righteous form of destruction against the wealthy family. When it came right down to it, it almost felt nostalgic, at least to Garnet and Pearl as they recalled helping break apart the similar upper-crust regime of Homeworld centuries ago. And though this was indeed on a much smaller scale than that, they still couldn’t deny that it felt incredibly cathartic all the same.

Not too far away from the tapestry the Gems were currently tearing apart, Mabel and Candy were carrying out their strategic plan to flirt with Marius, with the former boldly taking the lead as she approached the baron with a wide, cheerful smile. “Hi, I’m Mabel!” she greeted loudly, catching Marius somewhat off guard. “So, Australia, huh? Do you guys eat kangaroo meat over there, or, uh… a-are they strictly pets?”

“I am from Austria,” Marius corrected with a confused frown.

“Haha! Yeah!” Mabel let out a forced, awkward laugh, panicking as she tapped Candy’s shoulder. “Tag! Tag!”

“I am Candy!” the other girl said to the baron as she took over just as brightly. “I love the tiny hats you wear on your shoulders!”

“Hi again!” Mabel cut back in, roughly pushing Candy aside in light of this. “If you were a boat, do you know what kind you’d be? A dream boat, that’s what kind.”

“You are tagged out!” Candy protested in a harsh whisper as she elbowed Mabel.

“I tagged back in,” Mabel pushed her back crossly.

“You can’t do that!”

“I can tag myself! Its allowed!”

“No, its not!”

“Yeah, it is!”

As the girls continued to bicker amongst themselves, the very confused Marius nervously retreated, unsure of how to react to them so clearly arguing over him. They also failed to notice that someone else had watched this entire embarrassing display, and she was far from pleased with what she had just seen. “Ahem!” Grenda interjected, hands on her hips as she cut through Mabel and Candy’s argument. “What exactly was all that?! You were flirting with Marius without me!”

At this, the pair exchanged a tense glance, knowing that there was really no playing any of this off as they had been caught red-handed. “W-we are sorry, Grenda,” Candy began, genuinely apologetic. “It’s just…”

“Your flirting style can come across as a bit… intense…” Mabel continued rather hesitantly.

“Oh, I see!” Grenda scoffed, thoroughly offended by this opinion. “You think I shouldn’t be myself just because I’m at this stupid mansion! I thought you liked my style!”

“We do!” Candy affirmed. “But these boys might not!”

“Oh, then I guess they wouldn’t like this either! Hey, Marius!”

“Yah?” the baron asked curiously as he wandered back over to the group.

Grenda paused briefly, looking to her friends with a critical glare as they both shook their heads with silent pleas for her to stop before it was too late. But of course, as angry as she was, she refused to comply with them and ‘flirted’ with Marius anyway. “You’ve got something… on your shit!” Of course, the baron glanced down, only for Grenda to launch her finger upward to hit his nose rather unforgivingly. Mabel and Candy gasped in shock at Grenda’s apparent audacity, and, with all three of them equally frustrated with each other, they all stormed away from each other in a huff without sparing another word. Still, none of them paid much mind to the rather stunned baron they had left behind, who looked off in the direction of the girl who had so aggressively “flirted” with him with amazed stars of newfound infatuation in his eyes.

After what felt like ages of searching in vain for the Gems, Steven and Connie eventually gave up, opting to rethink their options when it came to dealing with the infestation of Gem mutants. An infestation that was more than likely to make it into the ballroom itself sooner rather than later.

“We’re running out of time,” Connie noted, peaking down the nearby hallway for any signs of approaching mutants. “If we don’t hurry, then those mutants could end up hurting someone!”

“Yeah, but what can we do?” Steven asked fretfully. “We can’t find the Gems and your mom took my mom’s sword… Huh, that’s… actually kinda ironic now that I think about it…”

“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do,” Connie said with firm resolve, ignoring her issues with her mother for the moment for the sake of the greater good. “We’re going to handle this problem ourselves, sword or no sword, whether my mother likes it or not!”

“Excuse me?”

Both kids let out a startled gasp as they spun around to find none other that Priyanka herself standing right behind them, having sifted her way through the crowd in search of her daughter only to find her at the exact wrong moment. The doctor still had Rose’s sword tucked under her arm, her expression completely shocked and outraged over what she had just heard, but even so, Connie had no intention of retracting what she had said.

“M-Mom, I… You have to listen to me listen to me,” she began somewhat unsteadily, though her confidence started to grow as she reached for the sword. “I really, really, really need that sword! If you don’t give it to me, then a lot of innocent people could be in huge danger!”

“What? Connie, no!” Priyanka staunchly refused, holding the blade up as her daughter continued trying to grab it. “What has gotten into you? You know I never go back on a rule, young lady.”

“But there has to be some exceptions!” Connie argued fiercely. “I’m not some… rule-driven robot!”

As soon as she had said this, a brutal crash sounded from the end of the nearby hallway, one that was immediately followed by the appearance of a very large Gem mutant, one that didn’t hesitate to lunge forward towards the group near the ballroom. “W-what on earth is that thing?!” Priyanka asked, protectively gripping her daughter’s shoulder tightly.

“It’s a Gem mutant!” Steven exclaimed, determined to help Connie fend it off as his shield formed over his arm. “It’s why you have to let Connie have that sword back, Dr. Maheswaran! So she can beat it and protect everyone here!”

“Wha—b-but-” the doctor’s protests were cut off as the mutant pounced, one of its many hands reaching out and grabbing the closest thing to it, which just so happened to be Connie. “Connie!”

“M-Mom!” Connie called back as the mutant began dragging her towards it, its grip on her strong, despite her attempts to break free from it.

“I’ll save you!” Steven exclaimed, rushing forward before slamming his shield into the mutant’s side, forcing it to relinquish its hold. “Keep away from my Connie!”

The mutant let out a threatening groan as it shoved the young Gem back roughly, still towering over the group as more creatures began filling in behind it, pressing the trio back towards the ballroom. “T-these things are beyond reason!” Priyanka shook her head, unable to believe what she was witnessing.

“Mom, if you would go back on your rule this one time!” Connie pleaded, feeling largely useless against this threat without a sword in her hand. “I just need to help Steven get us out of here!”

“No! Mother knows best!” Priyanka reiterated harshly, still keeping the sword away from her daughter, even despite the growing danger.

“W-we can’t let these things into the ballroom!” Steven cried, struggling to maintain his stance as the largest mutant continued pressing against his shield. The smaller mutants were starting to maneuver their way around the group, crawling up the walls and ceiling as they essentially surrounded them, though they still didn’t work their way into the ballroom just yet. Upon seeing this, the young Gem gasped but reacted accordingly, abandoning his shield for a bubble instead, though the mutants continued pounding against it just as viciously.

“W-we’re trapped!” the doctor exclaimed, quite alarmed by this turn of events.

“We don’t have to be!” Connie proclaimed, her expression adamant as she turned to face her mother, refusing to give up in these dire straits. “Really, Mom. I know how to do this!”

“No, you don’t!” Priyanka argued, just as resilient on her side of the matter as her daughter was.

“Ugh, yes, she does!” Steven cut in quite impatiently, knowing they were wasting very precious time fighting like this. “She’s been training! She hasn’t just been playing around with that sword! She’s been taking classes learning how to use it right! Even though she’s always studying, or practicing tennis, or playing violin, she still works really hard to be a good sword fighter and she is!”

“No,” the doctor quickly denied, refusing to believe anything of the sort. “No, no, no, no, no. I know my daughter! I know what she’s doing every second of the day. All her activities, all her internets, everything. I know she’s definitely not some sword fighting hooligan!”

By this point, Connie had gotten to the point where enough was enough. For as long as she could remember, she had always rigidly stuck to whatever her parents had told her, complying perfectly for the sake of winning their approval and pride more than anything else. It was tedious, laborious, even difficult at some points giving their very high standards for her. But now, such standards could no longer apply. Because not only were they in a life or death situation, but things had changed. She had changed. It was a shift that everyone who knew her, everyone who came in contact with her had been able to see, especially herself. Everyone but her own mother, it seemed. “You don’t know me at all!” Connie finally exploded, beyond frustrated with her mother’s stubbornness by now. “You still haven’t even noticed my glasses!”

“W-what about your glasses?”

“They don’t have lenses anymore!” Connie huffed, taking her frames off and sticking her finger straight through them. “I haven’t needed actual glasses for almost the entire summer!”

“What?!” Priyanka asked, completely baffled. “Your eyesight just… magically got better?”

“Yes!” Connie shouted adamantly as Steven shrugged in slight embarrassment, given his involvement in all this. “I’ve been dealing with magic and monsters and things like these,” she pointed to one of the mutants beating against the side of the bubble. “Ever since I met Steven! That’s why I need you to just trust me and believe that I know what to do here!”

The doctor paused, her expression softening somewhat as she looked to her daughter with genuine conflict before looking back to the pressing danger that was so clearly surrounding them all. “B-but… you-”

Before Priyanka could get another word out, the entire mansion itself seemed to shake, accompanied by what sounded like a massive explosion coming from the ballroom itself. All of the party guests let out a collective gasp as the room’s large fireplace swelled dramatically, and from its sparking embers, the lumberjack ghost emerged, laughing manically as he prepared to rain righteous devastation down upon the entire party.

“Generations locked away, my revenge shall have its day!” he shouted boisterously, blasts of blue light bursting from his palms. As this apparent magic struck several of the party guests, the effects were immediate, their bodies starting to freeze before slowly turning into hollow, immovable, non-sentient wood.

And from that moment, the entire ballroom erupted into complete and utter chaos.

Aside from the petrifying blasts the ghost continued firing off at random, his power also brought the mansion’s many taxidermized displays to life, with the dead animals terrorizing every guest who had been lucky enough to escape being transformed into wooden statues. Nature itself soon started to overtake the hall, with vines and tree limbs bursting through the floor and entrapping more unfortunate attendees for the ghost to cast his horrific spell upon them. Almost as soon as this disaster had begun, the Northwests had been quick to tuck themselves out of sight, unable to do anything else but watch as their elegant party and their mansion itself began to crumble right before their eyes.

“Preston, what are we going to do!?” Priscilla cried mournfully, though her husband remained stoic in his cowardly plan.

“Prepare the panic room,” he remarked coldly, punching a taxidermized squirrel off of his shoulder.

While the Northwests had no intention of doing anything to stop this violent onslaught, the Gems were quick to notice it, forcing them to quickly put their ongoing vandalism aside as they leapt into action. “Whoa, isn’t that guy one of those lumberjacks from way back when?” Amethyst asked, summoning her whip as she beat back a mounted deer head. “Pretty sure that dude should be dead by now, shouldn’t he?”

“He is” Garnet confirmed, gauntlets at the ready. “That’s a ghost.”

“Well, he’ll be even less than a ghost once we’re through with him!” Pearl exclaimed boldly, finally calling the specter’s attention. “You! We demand that you put a stop to this senseless destruction and release these innocent humans at once!”

The ghost did take pause at this, though only to turn to the Gems with an expectant, almost smug grin as he glided towards them. “Ah, the Crystal Gems, what ages have past since we last met?” he asked almost calmly before a certain bitterness started to enter his tone. “I suppose its only fitting that you would stand to defend those treacherous Northwest scum even all these years later. After all, you did the very same thing one hundred and fifty years ago by not rising to the occasion to ensure my brethren and I the justice we deserved!”

“We’re not defending the Northwests,” Garnet countered, her gauntlets in tight fists. “We never would. Especially after we found out what happened that night.”

“So you DO know!” the ghost exclaimed, his flames rising in fury upon hearing this. “And yet you still did NOTHING to stop it!”

“If we had been there, we certainly would have!” Pearl protested firmly. “But we were away on a mission that night; we only found out about the Northwests breaking their promise from the other lumberjacks the next day! And believe us, we’ve condemned them for their horrible actions against you all ever since!”

“Oh you have?” the ghost scoffed, clearly not believing this claim. “Then answer me this: why are the mansion gates still closed, one-fifty years on!? Why have you not forced the Northwests to right the wrongs of their sinister past? Why have you failed to do what you promised: to protect this town and its people from the evil lying right within its own borders?!”

The Gems exchanged a rather surprised glance at this, none of them quite sure of what to say at such a strong accusation of their apparent failure. But really, when it came down to it, there had been nothing they could have really done to correct this unfair situation. They couldn’t force the Northwests to open their gates to the common folk, they hadn’t been able to keep that initial rejection from happening in the first place and they couldn’t keep it from happening now. It was a delicate situation, a very human situation that the Crystal Gems had found themselves ill-equipped to deal with and still did. And, based on their lack of an answer, that was a conclusion the lumberjack ghost had already angrily reached.

“You three are no better than the very Northwests you claim to condemn,” he remarked hatefully and dismissively. “And for that, you deserve nothing more than to share their DOOMED fate!”

The Gems only had time to let out a shared gasp before the ghost struck them with his power, which, alarmingly enough, effected them in the exact same way it would any human. In mere seconds, all three of the Crystal Gems were nothing more than wooden statues, stuck frozen in offensive poses against a foe they were powerless to defeat.

“Oh no!” Steven gasped, completely distraught as he happened to watch this entire display from the edge of the hallway him, Connie, and Priyanka were still in. “The Gems!”

“Steven, no!” Connie stopped him before he could rush out, still mindful of the Gem mutants as well as the ghost. Unfortunately, it seemed as though these threats were starting to combine as mutants began pouring out of the other hallways, sulking into the ballroom and openly attacking the dwindling number of non-wooden guests right alongside the ghost himself.

It was this absolute state of pandemonium that Dipper returned to as he burst back into the mansion, breathless and soaking wet from the ongoing thunderstorm outside. He stopped immediately within the doorframe however upon taking in the disaster before him, with undead animals and marauding mutants running amok amidst the myriad of already petrified party guests. Dipper didn’t get much of a chance to analyze the situation however before a nearby Gem mutant lunged at him, prompting him to act on instinct in drawing his sword and stabbing it cleanly through right before it could reach him. However, there was little his blade could do to help the poor soul who was inching across the floor, his body already half wooden as he desperately tried to escape his fate. “P-please, help me!” the guest cried before the inevitable happened, entrapping him in an immovable, unaware wooden form.

“Whoa! That is messed up!” Dipper exclaimed in apt shock upon witnessing something so horrific, though the ghost was quick to divert his attention as he let out a rather fitting proclamation.

“Just one way to change your fate!” the specter shouted amidst turning even more terrified guests into wood. “A Northwest must open the party gates!”

“A Northwest?” Dipper gasped, realizing that this situation wasn’t as hopeless as it seemed. “Pacifica!” Knowing that there really wasn’t any other viable option for quelling the ghost’s intense, deadly fury, Dipper took off, cutting through any Gem mutant in his path as he went in search of the heiress, hoping that despite her earlier deceptiveness and dishonesty, she could still turn the tide in this mess once and for all.

At the same time, Steven, Connie, and Priyanka hung back a bit from the ballroom, mostly to avoid being detected by the ghost more than anything else as most of the Gem mutants had already pressed their way past them. Still, all three of them were quite shaken by the chaos playing out before them, especially the doctor as she shook her head in frightened disbelief.

“And now there’s a ghost too?” she asked, dumbfounded. “You mean to tell me that you kids deal with deadly threats like these on a daily basis?!”

“Um… yeah, kinda,” Steven shrugged with an awkward smile, hoping the truth wouldn’t set the doctor off even more.

“But like I said, we know how to handle it!” Connie argued brazenly. “We have experience, we can stop all this and save everyone, I know we can! I just need you to let us do that!”

Priyanka didn’t answer, instead peaking out into the tumultuous ballroom and then back to her daughter, clearly unable to make a choice about what to do or what to say. “C-Connie, I… I don’t…” she trailed off, true concern and fear in her eyes as she met her daughter’s still quite adamant expression. And while Connie was somewhat surprised by her mother’s near-allowance, she knew that she couldn’t afford to wait for it any longer.

“Ugh, there’s no time for this!” she groaned, finally doing what she had wanted to do from the very beginning. In a move to quick for Priyanka to stop her, Connie pulled Rose’s sword out of its sheath in her arms, gripping it tightly as Steven pushed the bubble forward into the ballroom proper, anticipating the fight that was about to commence.

“Ready?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at Connie, who had already taken up an offensive pose as Gem mutants started crowding around them.

“Drop the bubble,” Connie nodded readily as Steven did just that.

With their only line of defense gone, Steven and Connie both leapt into action, the latter lashing out first to the mutant that tried to jump at Priyanka, only for her blade to end up slicing cleanly through it. At the same time, the young Gem beat a handful of smaller mutants back, but as he nodded to Connie once more, they both prepared for a maneuver that they had only ever practiced before, but finally felt ready to put to use in a real fight. With deft precision, Connie leapt to Steven, using his shield as a boost to gain the proper height to land a brutal finishing blow on a taller mutant, poofing it instant. Priyanka could only stand by and watch in dumbfounded awe as her daughter, usually so intellectually minded and well-mannered, sliced her way through these savage creatures with a kind of skill that was far beyond anything she had been expecting. Still, with the majority of mutants having taken to the ballroom, Steven and Connie knew they had no time to rest on their laurels as the danger running rampant throughout the party was still quite high.

“Steven, let’s split up to take care of the rest,” Connie ordered, stilling gripping Rose’s sword tightly. “Then maybe we can try to figure out some way to get rid of that ghost and free all those people.”

“Right!” Steven nodded affirmatively, his shield still positioned on his arm as he prepared to follow Connie out into the fray.

“Mom, stay here and don’t let that ghost see you,” Connie continued, her tone just as authoritative as she turned to her mother. “Steven and I have this covered.”

“C-Connie, wait!” Priyanka exclaimed, stopping her daughter by grabbing her shoulder. Connie shot her a rather upset glance at this, fully expecting her mother to try and restrain her and hold her back, just like she always did. But instead, she did something entirely different. “Be careful,” she urged, pulling her daughter into a loose, caring, but rather solemn embrace.

“…I will be,” Connie promised, letting out a small, somewhat remorseful sigh before the hug broke apart. “Now come on, Steven. We have a party to save.”

Seeing as how Pacifica had been nowhere to be found amidst the unfurling chaos of the ballroom itself, Dipper had no choice but to rush through the mansion’s halls in search of her, knowing that he had not a moment to waste. Fortunately, his search didn’t have to go on for too long as he happened to take a quick peek in the hidden room they had first captured the ghost in, only to find the heiress sitting there alone in the dark, knees pulled to her chest and her head bowed low in apparent shame.

“Pacifica!” Dipper exclaimed, rushing over to her, even despite that fact that she seemed to pay his entrance no mind whatsoever, even as he leaned down right next to her. “I’m so glad I found you! The ghost is back and he’s turning everyone to wood and he just started rhyming for some reason? B-but anyway, I need your help!” he urged, grabbing her wrist in an attempt to pull her up but she was quick to bitterly pull it away. “Pacifica?”

“You wanna know why this room was locked up?” Pacifica began, still averting his gaze as she coldly nodded up to the set of paintings sitting a few feet away from them. Paintings which depicted Northwests of the past taking part in deceptive, duplicitous, downright dastardly acts across history. “This is what I found in here. A painted record of every horrible thing my family’s ever done. Lying, cheating… and then there’s me. I lied to you just because I’m too scared to talk back to my stupid parents!” In a fit of apt rage, the heiress took off her expensive earrings, tossing them disdainfully towards another painting of her own parents before letting out a sigh of defeat. “You were right about me… I really am just another link in the world’s worst chain…”

Dipper took pause at this, unsure of really how to respond to the heiress’s palpable, genuine guilt. Immediately, he couldn’t help but regret his former harshness towards her, especially now that he knew she had only been following her parents’ rigid orders in tricking him. And yet, instead of offering an apology right away, he ended up going with a different tangent instead. “Well… you don’t have to be...”

“Huh?” Pacifica finally glanced over at him, confused.

“Just because you’re your parent’s daughter, doesn’t mean you have to be like them,” Dipper clarified, offering her a small, encouraging smile. “You don’t have to keep this terrible chain going; you can choose to break it, you can choose to be better than them!”

“Heh, you make it sound so easy…” Pacifica said with a bitter laugh. “And for someone like you, I guess it probably would be. You don’t have your parents standing over you almost every second of the day with some stupid bell, drilling it into your head that you have to be perfect, that you have to uphold the family reputation, that you have to be just like them otherwise you won’t ever be worth anything to anyone!”

By now, the heiress’ usual composure had completely crumbled as she let out a tight sob, with tears that she quickly tried to wipe away only for more to end up following it. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she felt doomed, doomed to repeat the treachery of her ancestors, doomed to keep this cycle of corruption going, doomed to be just another lying, cheating, heartless Northwest. It was a line of thinking that she had once been proud of, a legacy that she had willingly wanted to uphold. But now, it felt suffocating, agonizing even, as though it was pulling her down into a darkness she wanted no parts in, but would inevitably end up drowning in, no matter how hard she tried to resist it.

And yet… maybe she wouldn’t.

For as she felt herself slipping deeper into the darkness of this despair and awful repetition, an unexpected hand suddenly took hers, somehow steadying her and pulling her up out of that darkness by its mere contact alone. Pacifica drew in a small, tearful breath as she glanced up at Dipper, his expression sincere and sympathetic as he kept his firm, yet gentle grip on her hand all the while.

“Pacifica…” he began, his tone solemn yet steady. “You don’t actually believe any of that, do you?”

“I-I… I don’t know…” she shook her head truthfully, knowing that it was all she had ever been taught by her parents. Then again, it could have all just as easily been yet another lie, another fabrication to add on to the countless others her family was so infamous for. “I… I don’t… want to, I just… I guess… I just want to feel… free for a change…” Like you, she wanted to add, knowing that Dipper was perhaps one of the most unfettered people she had ever met. He could do what he wanted, say what he wanted, all without the fear or worry of anyone telling him that he couldn’t, that he had to conform to some strictly set standard that stood against everything he believed in. It was a bold, foreign concept to Pacifica, one that fascinated her to no end and made her wonder what it would be like if she was granted that much open, endless, liberating freedom herself. Freedom that she had only ever gotten close to as a result of being close to him.

“Well… then that’s up to you,” Dipper said, still smiling kindly to her. “Like I said, you don’t have to be what your parents say, especially if they’re trying to train you to be just as horrible as they are, no offense.”

“Believe me, none taken,” Pacifica remarked, unable to hold back a brief, sardonic laugh at this.

“But still,” Dipper continued, letting go of her hand, though he still kept his other one positioned on her shoulder, something that she couldn’t help but smile about. After all, it was probably among the most genuine physical affection she had gotten from anyone really, including her own parents. “You can way more than they want you to be. Heck, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve already proved that by just realizing that what your family’s doing is wrong. I’m sorry about what I said earlier, but… I do mean it when I say I think you can be someone better. It’s not too late.”

“It’s too late!” the ghost’s triumphant shout could be heard all the way from the ballroom, startling the pair out of their tender moment as they hurried out to see what was going on. The alarming sight before them elicited a horrified gasp from them both as the entire ballroom had been overtaken, either by unruly, encroaching plants or still meandering Gem mutants, all spread out around the multitude of now wooden, immovable party guests with no single survivor seeming to remain. “You’re all wood!” the ghost proclaimed with a victorious laugh from his spot at the top of the stairs overlooking the ballroom, which is vengeance had completely claimed.

For a moment, all Dipper and Pacifica could do was look over this horrific scene in apt terror as they tried to spot anyone still living and free amidst the apparent forest of wooden statues. But there seemed to be no one left, for Steven and Connie were nowhere to be found, and the Gems, Candy, Grenda, even Mabel had all fallen victim to the lumberjack’s petrifying curse. Which, of course, was something that Dipper refused to let stand as he swiftly drew his sword, determined to finally put this violent specter in his place once and for all.

“Dipper, wait!” Pacifica shouted, failing to hold him back as he rushed out brazenly, taking up a stance of opposition not too far away from the ghost itself, much to the heiress’ apt alarm.

“Alright, ghost,” Dipper began boldly, grabbing a discarded silver platter with the hopes of trapping the ghost inside of it. “Prepare to get-” He was abruptly cut off as the ghost blasted both the platter and his sword out of his hands, showing that the spirit had no patience to even trade barbs with the boy who had trapped him in the first place. “No, wait!” Dipper exclaimed in sudden fear as the ghost remorselessly hit him with his inescapable curse. The effect was immediate, working from the ground up as it all too quickly turned his flesh into hallow, unfeeling wood, much to his apt panic. “N-no! No, stop! Someone, help!” he cried desperately, crippled by a hauntingly familiar sensation of rapidly losing all his senses entirely as his chest became nothing more than frozen bark before it spread up his arms and finally to his face. “Help, please!” His final, agonized plea hung onto the air as an echo as he finally froze, completely turned to wood and stuff in an eternal pose of stricken terror as he reached for help that would likely never come.

All Pacifica could do as she witnessed all this was let out a sharp gasp of both shock and anguish, unexplainable tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Dipper succumb to the threat that her family was solely responsible for. One of the few people who had managed to inspire her, to encourage her to move beyond her family’s harsh standards, who showed her genuine warmth and kindness that hadn’t been bought but rather earned, was now nothing more than a wooden husk and she knew it was all thanks to her. Which was why she had to do something. She couldn’t just walk away and leave Dipper, and really every other innocent person in the mansion, to such a grisly fate. She had to stand up, to right the wrongs of her family’s past, to truly be someone better than any of her predecessors had been, including her own parents.

She had to open the gates.

And yet… she couldn’t. As much as she wanted to, she knew well what would happen if she even tried. Her parents would never forgive her, in all honesty, they’d probably punish her more than she could possibly imagine. They didn’t take disobedience kindly, especially when it came to massive matters like this. Seeing as how she couldn’t find them amidst the crowd of statufied guests, she knew that they’d find out about her blatant defiance somehow, they just would. And then, any shred of empirical freedom she thought she had would disappear completely; any hope she might have had to become a better person, to improve herself and rise above her family name, would vanish entirely. She’d be trapped, just like she always was, in that cycle of lies and greed and selfishness that had poisoned the Northwest name for decades.

And the possibility of that happening was something she desperately didn’t want to risk.

So instead, Pacifica let fear take over as she took a step back into the shadows, out of the ghost’s range, away from the disaster she could so easily solve with just the pull of a lever. However, she failed to see one of the few other survivors rushing along the edges of the hall, trying to take out the remaining Gem mutants while remaining out of the ghost’s sight, until they happened to haphazardly crash right into each other.

“Ugh, Pacifica!” Connie snapped, pulling away from the heiress with a cold scowl. “Get out of my way! I have to—wait a second,” she stopped short, lowering her sword somewhat as concern filled her expression. “W-where’s Dipper? Wasn’t he with you earlier?”

“H-he was…” Pacifica glanced down guiltily, trying her best to hold back her returning tears. “But… but he… t-the ghost… I wasn’t able to-”

Connie cut her off with a sharp, startled gasp as she glanced out into the ballroom, instantly spotting Dipper’s now wooden form near the center of the hall. “Dipper!” she exclaimed, aptly distraught as she turned back to Pacifica, clearly livid. “What happened?!”

“H-he just… ran out there! I wanted to stop him, but I-”

“Oh yeah, sure you did,” Connie deadpanned harshly. “Like I’m gonna stand here and believe that you actually even thought about sticking your neck out for someone else. Heck, I bet the only reason you’re so torn up about what happened to Dipper is because you lost your only ghost hunter, right?”

“Augh, you don’t know anything do you?!” Pacifica retorted just as fiercely, her gloved hands clenched in tight fists at her sides. “You think the only person I care about is myself, but you’re wrong! Believe me, I’d love to just run out there and open the gates so that ghost would set everyone free, but I can’t! Because if I did, then my parents would… t-they’d…”

“They’d… what?” Connie asked, her glare softening somewhat as she noticed just how visibly anxious Pacifica seemed to be.

“Forget it,” the heiress said dismissively, wrapping her arms around herself as she glanced out towards the ballroom sadly. “You wouldn’t understand…”

“…Somehow, I think I would…” Connie admitted with a hesitant sigh, looking to the hallway she knew her mother was still hiding in. “My mom is… pretty strict. She didn’t even know about my sword fighting training until tonight and when she found out about it, she refused to let me fight, even against all these Gem mutants running around. But… I knew a still had to fight, that I was one of the only ones with any hope of stopping all this, and so I am.”

“E-even though your mom said no?” Pacifica asked, rather amazed by such a concept as blatantly going against parental orders with no apparent regret.

“Even though my mom said no,” Connie confirmed with a nod, pausing for a moment as she looked to the rather conflicted heiress with newfound pity. Perhaps, despite what she had been led to believe, Pacifica wasn’t really spoiled or cruel from her own choosing; maybe that was just how her parents had raised her, had forced her to be. And as someone who knew all too well just how heavy a burden trying to live up to parental standards was, maybe, Connie realized, the two of them weren’t so different after all. “I think I realized that… sometimes my parents aren’t always right. And when they’re not, that’s when I have to just… figure things out for my own, you know? And maybe… maybe that’s something you need to try for yourself, Pacifica.”

The heiress said nothing in response to this, her brow furrowed as she kept her sights on Dipper afar in the distance more than anything else. Connie raised an eyebrow upon seeing this, surprising something of an incredulous smile as she realized what was going on here, though she said nothing about it at the moment. “I gotta go find Steven,” she said, repositioning her grip on Rose’s sword as she hurried off. “Try to make the right choice, ok?”

Pacifica took in a deep breath, steadying herself as she slowly nodded, even after Connie had left. “Ok,” she whispered, resolve to do this, determined to save them all, to save him.

Whether her parents liked it or not.

“A forest of death,” the ghost concluded grimly, still presiding in his spot above the ballroom. “A lesson learned, and now the Northwest Manor will BURN!” The specter erupted into vengeful laughter as flames rose up from him, igniting the large portrait of the Northwest family hanging from the nearby wall first, though it quickly began to spread, more than ready to burn everything, and everyone, in the mansion to ashes in minutes.

Or at least it would have.

“Hey, ugly! Over here!” Pacifica shouted as she emerged from hiding, figuring now was as good a time as any to put an end to all this. She stood before the ghost boldly, unfettered by the powerful, hateful spirit as she stepped towards the lever that would open the mansion’s outer gates. “You want me to let in the townsfolk? Cause I’ll do it! Just change everyone back!”

“You wish to prove yourself?” the ghost asked challengingly. “Then pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town! Fulfill your ancestors’ promise and right this wrong once and for all!”

Pacifica was prepared to do just that, her expression hardened as she began reaching for the nearby lever. However, her hand froze right before she could grab it as an underground hatch leading down to the panic room opened up a few feet away, her father, mother, and one of their countless butlers anxiously peeking out of it. “Pacifica Elise Northwest! Stop this instant!” Preston exclaimed in a harsh, incredibly disapproving whisper. “We can’t let the town see us like this! We have a reputation to uphold!”

“A reputation?” Pacifica looked to him, appalled. “Our entire mansion’s about to go up in flames and a bunch of innocent people right along with it and you’re worried about our reputation?!”

“Well, of course I am!” Preston scowled adamantly. “And you should be too, young lady! Our family is built off of power and position, we can’t have common nobodies off the street running rampant in our mansion! Now come into the panic room. There’s enough mini-sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler a full week.” At this, he quickly dropped his voice down to a whisper so the nearby servant couldn’t hear him. “We’ll eat the butler.”

“You’re wrong!” the heiress snapped, her former fear of standing against her parents quickly fading as she realized just how many self-serving lies she had been fed her entire life. Lies that she refused to eagerly buy into any longer. “The only things our family was built off of are cheating and dishonesty! I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to learn that, but I have! And its about time everyone else did too!”

“You dare disobey us?” Preston scoffed in disbelief. “Where did this shamefully disrespectful attitude of yours come fro—oh wait, I know…” The billionaire’s tone turned disdainful as he shot a glance towards the center of the ballroom, where Dipper’s wooden remains stood. “It was that foolish Pines boy, wasn’t it? He was the one who inspired you to start thinking like a no-account vagrant instead of the elite young lady of status that you truly are! Well, worry not,” he said, pulling the bell that Pacifica had come to dread and loathe so much out of his suit pocket. “I know of the perfect to fix that…”

Pacifica flinched, pulling her hand away from the lever on instinct upon hearing the bell’s clarion ring, a ring that seemed to echo throughout her entire childhood and always carried one, singular order: behave. A ring that had groomed her into what her parents wanted her to be: submissive, unquestioning, accepting of all the atrocities the Northwests were responsible for in the past and were still committing even now. A ring that she hated, with every fiber of her being, but she knew better than to resist it.

Until now.

Because now, that ring wasn’t her master any longer. It couldn’t be. She remembered the advice both Dipper and Connie had given her, advice that mixed together inside her mind that she could be more, that she could do the right thing even when her own family never had, that she could change.

That she could be free.

And no matter what the cost might be, that freedom was something she was finally ready to take.

“Dingly, dingly!” Preston growled, ringing the bell harder as he noticed Pacifica was paying it no mind and reaching for the lever once more. “Is this bell broken?”

“Our family name is broken!” Pacifica proclaimed, slamming her foot down as she finally grabbed the lever. “And I’m gonna fix it!”

Putting every last ounce of reservation and fear behind her, the heiress pulled the lever down hard, at long last finally opening the gates up to the common townsfolk outside. The people of Gravity Falls gasped in amazement at this unexpected turn of events, but of course, none of them hesitated to rush forward, delighted to be allotted inside the legendary Northwest Fest for the very first time ever.

“Yes! Yes, its happening!” the ghost happily cried as the townsfolk excitedly ran up the hill to get to the mansion itself. “My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft, like more of a… birch or something.”

As a result of the ghost’s satisfaction, his curse upon the mansion quickly faded away, the taxidermized animals becoming still and unmoving as the wild plants disappeared back into the ground they had emerged from. At the same time, all of the petrified party guests seamlessly and painlessly were returned to normal, from the wealthy dignitaries, to the Gems, and to Dipper, who let out a sharp gasp as he returned to normal, rather startled by this shift as he happened to glance across the hall over at Pacifica. The heiress remained where she was by the lever, but even so, the huge smile of warm relief she sent him was undeniable, knowing that to see him alive and well again made all of her struggling against her parents more than worth it.

“Pacifica,” the ghost addressed her, briefly diverting her gaze away from Dipper right as he returned her smile. “You are not like other Northwests and for that, you should be proud. I feel… lumber justice…” And with these final words of contentment relayed, the specter finally disappeared from the mortal plane, leaving only his axe behind as it slammed into the ground, the only remaining physical sign of the devastation he had wrought.

Of course, almost as soon as the ghost had vanished, the multitude of townsfolk reached the manor, flooding in through the front doors in a flurry of chaos and excitement. They had no mind for manners whatsoever as they ran about, indulging on buffet tables, leaping into cider fountains, and laying their hands on whatever expensive knick-knacks they could find. Still, their arrival had added an undeniable and much-needed element of reckless fun and freedom to the party, one that absolutely appalled Preston and Priscilla as they stood by, helpless to stop what their daughter had so brazenly done.

“Good lord, the riffraff! Its everywhere!” the billionaire cried, aghast at the state of his once pristine party as he ran about, trying and completely failing to reclaim some sense of class and order.

At the same time, the Gems, upon recovering from their formerly petrified states, were quick to see the wild debauchery going on all around them, something that aptly confused them, given how they knew Northwest parties to usually be.

“What’s going on here?” Pearl asked, her spear dissipating as she watched Manly Dan toss a keg of cider across the hall.

“I dunno, but this is my kinda party!” Amethyst cheered, laughing as a few of the town’s teens rode an empty platter down the nearby stairs.

“Looks like everyone else has followed our lead,” Garnet remarked with a wry smirk, placing hands on both of her teammates’ shoulders. “You know what that means.”

“Woo! Time to bust it up!” the purple Gem rowdily whooped, rushing forward unrestrained.

“N-now Amethyst, let’s try not to bust things up too much!” Pearl warned as she began to run after her, though she quickly stopped with an incredulous scoff. “Wait, what am I saying? This is the Northwests’ mansion we’re talking about here! Let’s bust it up to our hearts’ content!”

“Now you got it,” Garnet nodded in amused approval, joining her teammates as they gladly leapt into the ongoing chaos and fun all around them.

Meanwhile, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were all in the midst of recovering from their own bouts as wooden statues, though none of them knew much about what had really occurred. Still, as soon as they had properly gathered their bearings, Grenda was quick to turn on the pair, sending them a disapproving scowl as she addressed them.

“Ahem,” she began somewhat coldly. “Don’t you two have something you’d like to say?”

“…Grenda, we are so sorry,” Candy relented remorsefully.

“Yeah, we shouldn’t have left you behind,” Mabel added just as empathetically.

“It’s ok,” Grenda conceded, her bitter manner quickly dropping upon noticing their sincerity. “Maybe I do need to work on my flirting. But for now, come on. Let’s go dip our heads in some cheese and chocolate. Friends?”

“Friends,” the other two girls happily agreed as they all joined together in a group hug. This moment of reconciliation soon came to an end however, for before they could make their way over to the fondue fountains, they were abruptly halted by a certain baron.

“Wait! Don’t go!” Marius called after them, approaching Grenda in particular with a fond, longing smile. “Grenda, was it? I must speak with you. There is something about you, I-I can’t get you out of my head! You’re so bold and confident! I know you are probably out of my league, but… might I give you mien phone number?”

“I don’t have a phone!” Grenda brightly exclaimed, elated by this offer. “Write it on my face!”

The baron proceeded to do so as Mabel and Candy watched on, neither of them having to pretend to be happy for their friend’s successful romantic catch. “Whoa-oh! Go Grenda!” Mabel exclaimed with a surprised grin.

“I guess we shouldn’t have sold her short,” Candy concluded. “I call bridesmaid!”

“What? I call co-bridesmaid!” Mabel countered before both of them shared a warm laugh. Despite their earlier scuffle, their friendship had been easily repaired, with all three of them knowing that no boy, no matter how cute or fancy, was worth damaging something so valuable to them all.

“Is that the last of them?” Connie asked Steven as he finished bubbling away what seemed to be the last of the Gem mutants. They had finished proofing and capturing them all around the same time the ghost had disappeared, which meant that now the party and its guests could truly be safe to enjoy the remainder of their evening.

“Yeah, I think so,” Steven nodded, offering her a small, congratulatory smile. Connie didn’t get much of a chance to return it, however, before her mother approached, her manner strangely anxious as she met her daughter’s somewhat unreadable gaze.

“C-Connie,” Priyanka began gently, looking between her daughter and the sword in her hand. “I… is this… really what you’ve been doing all summer? Training to fight these… things?”

“Yeah…” Connie nodded, glancing down guiltily. “Mom… I’m really sorry about lying to you. It started off as a tiny secret, and then it felt like I didn’t hide it, you wouldn’t let me see Steven or Dipper or Mabel ever again…”

“Is… is that how you feel?” Priyanka asked, her tone genuinely upset at the thought of unintentionally causing her daughter such worry and fear. “Are we too controlling?”

“…Maybe…” Connie admitted with a small shrug, deciding to be completely honest with her mother on this.

“I just… wanted to be a good mother,” the doctor said remorsefully, almost sadly even. “I-I just wanted to protect you.”

“But I can protect myself now!” Connie urged firmly. “You saw that I can! You just… need to start trusting that I can handle some things on my own.”

Priyanka sighed, a bittersweet smile crossing her face as she knelt down and placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “You are growing up awfully fast, aren’t you?” she said, a hint of pride filling her tone. “Okay. We’ll pull back on the rules. And I’ll try to keep an open mind about this,” she nodded to the sword in Connie’s hand. “And that,” she looked towards the bubbled Gem Steven was sending off to the temple. “And… him…” She finished rather tightly, nodding to the somewhat confused young Gem himself.

“That’s… all I really want,” Connie said, finally smiling herself.

“I know, its just… it scares me that you can’t talk to me about all this!” Priyanka pressed with apt concern. “I need to know what’s happening in your life. I need to be able to step in when you’re in over your head. Would you just promise me that you’ll stop all the lying?”

“That’s a rule,” Connie nodded, resolved to meet her mother halfway in doing just that.

“I love you, honey,” Priyanka smiled as she pulled her daughter into a warm, protective embrace.

“I love you too, Mom,” Connie retorted just as contentedly, more than happy to let her mother intervene if the need ever arose.

Steven wore a soft smile himself as he stood by, watching this heartwarming display. However, his grin did fade somewhat as he happened to glance down at Rose’s sword in his arms, particularly at his mother’s iconic symbol on its scabbard. He couldn’t help but wonder, as he watched Connie and her mother share such a tender, genuine moment, if he would have ever known a similar relationship with his own mother if she was still around. But as it stood, this was a gap he’d never truly have filled, a kind of protective, motherly love he’d never fully get to know. Or at least he thought.

For the young Gem was soon drawn out of his solemn thoughts as a familiar hand landed on his shoulder. Steven glanced up to meet Garnet’s gentle grin, followed by Pearl’s and Amethyst as they filled in beside her.

“Y-you guys!” he exclaimed in apt relief to see them unharmed. “You’re ok!”

“Of course we are!” Amethyst quipped, playfully elbowing him. “What, you really think we’re gonna let some undead lumber loser beat us down? Please, you know us better than that!”

“Are you enjoying the party, Steven?” Pearl asked, flustered changing the subject though she was still smiling down at her young ward nonetheless.

Steven paused, looking down at his mother’s sword one last time before smiling back up at his guardians. “You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

With the ghost gone and the heiress’ parents preoccupied, Dipper and Pacifica had found it rather easy to reunite and debrief from their harrowing experiences, both of them more than happy to watch the unfurling freedom of the newly-opened party all around them. “Man, if your family hates this, then they’re idiots,” Dipper remarked with a small laugh as several townsfolk ran by noisily but happily. “This is great!”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Pacifica huffed, crossing her arms. “Next year, I’m sure they’re just gonna lock everyone out again.”

Dipper paused, briefly noticing that the heiress still seemed rather remiss after everything had happened. Fortunately though, he quickly thought of a sure-fire way to change her sour tune. “Hey, guess what we’re standing on.”

Pacifica glanced down, her face lighting up with a vindictive grin as she noticed their muddy shoes were planted firmly on a repeat of her parents’ favorite white rug. From that point, neither of them were really able to hold their laughter in as they freely tarnished the carpet, spilling food and punch onto it without any care in the world, all in a sign of defiance to the billionaire’s rigid, self-righteous rules.

“Hey, so, uh…” Pacifica began somewhat awkwardly as their laughter began to die down. “I just wanted to say… um… thanks, I guess, for what you said back there. In a way, I guess it kinda inspired me to finally stop listening to my parents’ self-entitled garbage and start listening to myself for a change. And I gotta admit, it… feels kind of… nice.”

“If anyone’s thanking anyone around here, I should be thanking you,” Dipper said just as warmly. “If it wasn’t for you, then I’d still be a boring old hunk of wood right now.”

“Yeah, that totally would have sucked,” Pacifica remarked with something of a flirtatious grin. “I couldn’t imagine you, of all people, being so stiff and boarding.”

Dipper couldn’t really hold in a burst of heavy laughter at this, something that only served to fluster the heiress even more than she already was. “What, did you come up with that one yourself?”

“Hey, at least I tried. It’s not like puns are really my strong suit.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

“Oh shut up,” Pacifica smirked, pushing him playfully as he continued laughing. “But seriously though, I should probably go and find someone to clean this mess up. I’ll be right back!”

Dipper waved her off with a fond smile that he was unable to chase away, even if he had wanted to. As catastrophic as this night had turned out to be, at the end of it all, it had all been worth it to form a true, genuine bond with Pacifica, who, as far as he was concerned, was so, so much kinder, braver, and better than he had ever thought her to be.

His contented musings on the heiress didn’t last too long, however, before a certain old hillbilly ran up, seemingly just as zany and excitable as ever. “Woo! Scoobity-doo!” McGucket exclaimed, hopping up and down in his usual wild way. “Hornswaggle m’goat knees!”

“Whoa, hey, McGucket!” Dipper greeted with a bright smile, happy to see the hillbilly out and about in the aftermath of recovering his memories. “How have you been? Are you—whoa!” he was succinctly cut off as McGucket suddenly pulled him aside, his kooky act falling to the wayside for a much more serious one as soon as they were out of everyone else’s earshot.

“Dipper! I’ve been lookin’ for ya!” the hillbilly began intently, his expression and tone both dire as he put his glasses on and pulled out the old laptop, which looked nowhere as bad off as it had been before. “I fixed the laptop and-”

“You fixed it?! Dipper interupted, his eyes wide with surprise at this news. He paused, however, forcing himself not to be too overwhelmed by it as he remembered exactly why he had strived so hard to unlock said laptop in the first place. “Y-you… you didn’t happen to find anything on there about how split Gem fusions up… did you?”

“Er, uh… no?” McGucket frowned, confused by such an odd question before he returned to the matter at hand. “B-but anyway, I’ve been doin’ calculations, and I think somethin’ terrible is comin’! The apocalypse! The end times!”

Dipper simply let out a disappointed sigh at this as he glanced to the laptop somewhat bitterly, knowing he had wasted and lost so much for something that wouldn’t have even been able to help Lapis in the first place. But given that his spirits were relatively high from the party, he didn’t particularly feel like lowering them at the moment to look into the hillbilly’s frantic warnings, which in and of themselves, might not really hold any weight at all. “You know what, McGucket? How about we talk about this stuff tomorrow?”

“But-” McGucket fretfully tried to protest, only for Dipper’s already waning attention to quickly be diverted.

“Dipper!” Pacifica called from the party proper, smiling brightly as she beckoned for him to join her.

“Be there in a second!” he called back to her before turning to the distraught hillbilly once more with a small smile and a shrug. “It’s a party. Let’s have some fun for once, huh?”

“N-no! Wait!” McGucket exclaimed, though his pleas were in vain as Dipper left, dangerously unaware of what he had just uncovered. The hillbilly quickly opened the laptop up, its screen blaring the words “Imminent threat” in bright, glaring red as a countdown steadily blinked upon it, showing that only less than 24 hours remained. “Oh, this is bad!” he shook his head nervously. “Something’s coming! Somethin’ big!”

The hillbilly continued to look over his worrisome findings, completely unaware of the tapestry behind him, one that seemed to almost foretell of the very danger he feared was soon to come: a burning landscape with suffering humans upon it, and a long triangular shape presiding over the chaos, its singular eye watching all.

“Hey,” Dipper greeted Pacifica blithely as he rejoined her near the makeshift ‘dance floor’ the townsfolk had set up at the center of the ballroom. “What’s up?”

“Uh… well…” the heiress blushed, anxiously averting his gaze. “I was just, um… Well… Oh, how do I put this…? I was thinking maybe… y-you and I could… you know…” Unable to spit it out, she instead nodded to the several pairs freely moving about the dance floor, biting her lip as she noted his initial confusion, followed by his dawning realization.

“What, you mean, dance?” he asked, looking back to her rather surprised.

“Y-Yeah, I mean, i-if you wanna…” she crossed her arms, feigning stoicism over the matter. “W-we don’t have to. I just thought it would be like, fun or something.”

“Oh, well, uh… I-I’m not really that much of a dancer,” he admitted, starting to become rather flustered himself in light of this offer.

“So? Neither are any of them,” she nodded back to the dance floor again, where the couples upon it were basically just spinning around in tandem without any rhyme or reason at all. All the same, he hesitated, his eyes wide and his cheeks just as red as hers as he met her awkward, apprehensive expression. “W-what? Are you embarrassed or something?”

“N-no!” he shook his head quickly. “Are you?”

“No!”

“W-well then, I guess we should…”

“Yeah…” she took in a deep breath, slowly taking the hand he shakily offered out to her, In truth, neither of them were exactly sure why there were so nervous, even as they emerged onto the open floor together. After all, they really had no reason to be; this was just going to be a loose, friendly, freeform dance. Nothing less, and nothing more.

And though it took a moment or two of mental preparation, they soon started to fall into this mindset themselves as they began to spin, hands intertwined as they rotated in wide, dizzying, almost chaotic circles. It didn’t take long for them to start laughing, their faces still somewhat red but this time it was a welcome warmth as they “danced” about, the ballroom around them and the multiple pairs of eyes curiously watching them soon forgotten just as much as their initial inhibitions were. As wild and unkempt as it was, there was no denying they were both having fun, enjoying each other’s company, something neither of them thought could never happen before this fateful night. Yet here they were, a highly-esteemed heiress with a tarnished family history and a middle-class boy only really known for his knowledge of the supernatural. An unusual pair, for sure, but that hardly mattered to either of them at that moment for as far as they were concerned, they were the same. Just two kids, spinning around an elegant ballroom, hands intertwined as they laughed together with freedom in their minds and happiness in their hearts.

Happiness that would someday become something that nothing, not the past, the present, or the future, would ever be able to destroy.

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minijenn · 7 years

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Universe Falls Chapter 31

Ah yes! I’m back kids after my short little hiatus to bring you this: one of the funnest chapters I’ve had the chance to work on yet! So I hope you all really like this, because I certainly do! Enjoy!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/157783843269/universe-falls-chapter-30-part-2

Chapter 31: Scary-oke

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Gravity Falls was as peaceful as ever under the cover of nighttime darkness, the stars hanging over the slumbering town in a moonless sky. While most of the townsfolk were fast asleep in these late hours of the night, this didn’t exactly ring true for everyone. Specifically, Steven and Greg were still wide awake, nestled into the blanket fort the young Gem had constructed in the former rock star’s van as their ongoing monster movie marathon continued. Neither of them were paying too much attention to the clock however; after all, it had been quite a while since they had spent some quality father-son time together. And seeing as how things had been generally relaxed and quiet as of late, they decided that now would be as good a time as any to do so.

Steven let out a small gasp as the hero of the movie they were watching landed the finishing blow on the monster of the flick: a zombie. Greg couldn’t help but crack a small grin at how engrossed his son was with the film, even though it was quite old and rather cheesy. Still, the young Gem beamed in satisfaction as the protagonist embraced his love interest and kissed over their triumph as the credits began to roll.

“Oh man, that was the scariest movie we’ve watched tonight yet!” Steven exclaimed, propping himself up from his pillows a bit. “I wonder if real-life zombies would be as terrifying as that one.”

“Eh, probably not, kiddo,” Greg shrugged, smirking. “I mean, that zombie was pretty slow. The guys in the movie probably could’ve easily outran him if they had gone at more than a light jog.”

“Oh yeah? And how would you know?” Steven asked with a faux challenging chuckle. “Have you ever outran a zombie, Dad?”

“Can’t say that I have, Sto-ball,” the former rock star laughed. “And I can’t say that I’d really ever want to either.”

“Well what about any of the other monsters in here in Gravity Falls? You’ve lived here for a super long time-”

“I’ve only been here for 26 years, Steven. Then again, I guess that is kind of a long time…” Greg frowned. “Yikes. I’m getting old.”

“Yeah, but still,” Steven interjected. “You’ve been around long enough to see all the cool stuff here. Have you ever been chased by gnomes? Or have you ever high-fived a manotaur? Or hugged a werewolf?!”

“O-oh well, uh, I don’t know about all that…” Greg frowned apprehensively. “Your mom and the Gems usually would handle all that supernatural stuff. I’ve always figured it’s best not to get involved with it.”

“Aw, but you could have totally helped them, Dad!” the young Gem exclaimed enthusiastically. “It would be so cool to see you fighting alongside me and the Gems using—wait for it…” Steven paused, tapping the side of the van to create a dramatic drumroll. “The power of music!”

“Heh, well, I’m not really sure what good the ‘power of music’ would do against a werewolf or a zombie,” the former rock star chuckled. “Still, it’s good to know you still think your old man cool enough to keep up with the best of them.”

Steven laughed warmly as his father pulled him into an affectionate headlock and noogie. The playful moment was soon interrupted however, as a bright flash of light from outside flooded into the van through the windows. It only lasted a second, but that startling second was enough to catch both Steven and Greg completely off guard. “Whoa!” the young Gem exclaimed, breaking free from his father’s embrace as he ran to the back window, peeking out of it to find nothing but the Gem temple the van was parked in front of. “What was that?!”

“Eh, it must have just been a flash of heat lightning,” Greg shrugged with a casual grin, glancing out the front windows himself. His smile faded however, upon looking down the hill to the Mystery Shack, noticing as another sudden burst of blue light pulsated from the ramshackle building. The former rock star knew exactly what this meant, but even so, he had made a promise not to get involved in it. And that was a promise he was honor bound to uphold to his former boss. “U-uh, hey, Steven!” Greg quickly quipped, forcing a tight grin onto his face as he turned towards his unknowing son. “Hows about we pop another one of these movies in, huh? This next one has a mummified cow on the cover.”

“Oh! You mean The Cowwy!?” Steven grinned, plopping back down in his spot beside his father. “That’s one of my favorites! Put it in! Put it in!”

“Way ahead of you, kiddo,” Greg smirked, putting the tape in as Steven settled in to watch it. However, as he turned to sit down once more himself, he happened to steal another look at the shack, which was still lightly enveloped in an ominous pale cobalt glow. A years-old fear started to fill the former rock star, especially as his mind turned back to the warnings Rose had whispered to him long ago, warnings that even the Gems themselves no longer had. Greg had hoped that Stan would have given up on this risky pursuit by now, but if the conman was nothing else, he was persistent. But even so, one thing was clear: the once-forgotten ghosts of the past were still very much present now. And given how much things had changed since then, getting rid of them would be far more difficult this time around.

Light continued to pour through seemingly every crevice and cranny of the Mystery Shack, flickering on and off as it appeared to grow stronger and more powerful with each passing minute. Still, Dipper and Mabel hardly noticed it as fast asleep as they were in the attic, a fortunate fact for Stan as he worked in the basement far below them.

Ever since obtaining all three journals, the conman had been hard at work configuring the massive machine, inputting whatever code or instructions the trio of books had to offer him concerning it. It was certainly laborious, heavily taxing work, but regardless, Stan kept at it, undaunted. After all, he couldn’t dare to think about turning back now that he was closer to his ultimate goal than he had ever been.

“Thirty long years and it’s all led up to this. My greatest achievement!” Stan grinned broadly as he basked in the intense light the machine was putting off. His smile faded however as he paused, glancing down at boxers. “Probably should have worn pants.”

Since the machine was still relatively unstable after being reactivated after so many years, it was to be expected that it would act up a bit. The conman let out a frightened cry as it spit out a small burst of flame, one that struck him in the shoulder before he quickly patted it out before it could really burn him. “Feisty… I like it!” he smirked as he headed back to the control panel, pressing the appropriate buttons and switches in the right order. For a moment, Stan paused to read the readouts on the monitor above him, each scan passing by in quick succession as all of them turned up negative. Still, that wasn’t a huge problem. He hadn’t expected to get any tangible results so soon anyway and as far as he was concerned, he had plenty of time left. So long as nothing went awry, of course.

“If I finally pull this off, it’ll all have been worth it…” Stan said to himself as he took a seat at the desk. His excitement turned to smug satisfaction as he happened to flip through journal 3, landing on a page that had an image of Rose upon it. “Hmph. And you said I wouldn’t be able to do it,” the conman remarked with disdain for the pink Gem. “Shows what you knew, pinky.” The conman only lingered on that page for a moment more before turning it back to the blueprints he needed. “I just have to play it cool; I’m already dodging a bullet with the Gems being clueless about this, but if any of them, or anyone else for that matter, ever finds out about this…” Stan trailed off, frowning as he glanced to the picture of Dipper and Mabel that he kept positioned on his desk at all times. A brief bout of worry filled him, especially as he glanced over their bright, innocent, smiling faces, but even so he quickly shrugged it off. “Yeah, right. I’ve come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?”

His confidence renewed, Stan pulled on the nearby glove sitting on the desk, its extra finger dangling freely as he pulled the machine’s switch down to maximum power. The massive influx of energy that burst from the machine not only flooded the basement with light, but its affects were apparent throughout the rest of the town too as a momentary power surge ensued, one that most of its residents missed in the midst of their peaceful slumber.

Yet while the townsfolk didn’t know it, this powerful spike of energy was noticed even far beyond the borders of Gravity Falls itself.

The small monitor glowed red as a single line ran across it in quivering, pulsating waves. The two agents sitting before the screen aptly spotted this sudden spike the moment it began, and, confused by it as they were, had spent quite some time theorizing what it could be.

“See, there! There it is again!” the first agent exclaimed to his partner, pointing to the surge.

“Incredible…” the other agent mused. “We haven’t seen readings like this for thirty years!”

“This is different from that smaller spike we had a few weeks ago… Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?”

The veteran agent frowned coldly as he zoomed in on the coordinates they had just received, going deeper and deeper until he pinpointed the general source of where these troubling readings were coming from. “Just as I suspected,” he concluded before turning to the rest of his team. “Gentlemen, we’re going to Gravity Falls.”

As he had done many a night over the past thirty years, Stan had stayed up most of the night with the machine, monitoring it and checking over various things as the journals advised. Of course, as the hours wore on long and lonely, it was no surprise that the conman eventually ended up falling asleep against the desk unintentionally. He had only been napping for about an hour, however, when his alarm went off, abruptly startling him awake.

“Huh?!” Stan darted up right in his seat, his glasses askew on his face as the alarm clock continued to blare loudly. “Oh, right,” he yawned, letting out a long sigh as he turned the alarm off and steeled himself to face the day ahead. “Showtime.”

Fortunately, the conman had mastered the art of putting up a completely inconspicuous front to practically everyone around him, and this would be no exception. Really, it couldn’t be, since so many eyes would be on him today. In both a celebratory and publicity move, Stan had decided to have a public-reopening for the Mystery Shack, which had been closed the past week so it could properly recover from the damage Gideon had left on it. It had taken quite a bit of work to get everything back up to shape, but with the Gems and Steven having volunteered to help, they had gotten it all done in record time. And now, with the shack restored and Gideon behind bars, both the Pines and the Gems had more than enough reason to celebrate their hard-earned victory.

Since Stan had made sure to widely advertise the grand reopening all over town, quite a large turnout had shown up for the event. The gift shop was packed with people, far more than it usually saw on an average business day, all of them eager to hail their collective group of heroes. While the Gems weren’t used to such adulation from humans, word had gotten around about their triumph over the Gideon-bot, and the townsfolk showed their appreciation for protecting them from such a protentional threat well. Garnet remained as stoic as ever as she calmly signed any autograph book presented to her, and while Pearl humbly and awkwardly tried to play all of the praise they were receiving off, Amethyst soaked it in, gleefully crowd surfing as the kids watched on nearby.

“Oh my gosh, that looks like so much fun!” Mabel quipped brightly, ignoring the look of confusion Dipper sent her. “I wanna try!”

“Me too!” Steven whole heartedly agreed as both him and Mabel started off towards the crowd, only for them to be stopped by Stan.

“Hold it, you two,” the conman rolled his eyes, shoving them both back as he stepped into the gift shop. “There will be plenty of time for throwing yourselves at random strangers later. For now, it’s time to humbly accept the praise and adoration of all these good people.”

“Why do I get the feeling like Stan won’t exactly be ‘humble’ about this?” Dipper whispered to Steven and Mabel with a smirk, eliciting a chuckle from them both. But even so, the conman stepped up onto the counter as the Gems also came forward, knowing that it was time for the festivities to begin.

“Welcome, everyone!” Stan bellowed boldly before the crowd. “To the grand reopening of the Mystery Shack!” The conman grinned widely as the audience cheered their rousing support, something that he admittedly wasn’t very used to after years of being seen by the townsfolk as a sham and little else, but something he was more than happy to soak in now. “We’re here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil’ Gideon!” Stan announced holding up a plushy of the now-jailed child physic. Remembering well how Gideon had unlawfully spied on all of them, the townsfolk erupted into a round of boos and jeers. “Please, please,” the conman interrupted. “Boo harder!” The crowd did so, even as Stan tossed the plushy to Amethyst, who casually tore it in half with a smug grin.

“But I didn’t catch that porkchop all alone,” Stan continued, affectionately wrapping his arms around the twins. “These two scamps deserve some of the glory.” The conman was prompted to correct himself, however, after Mabel playfully elbowed him in the gut. “Okay, okay. Most of the glory.” Still, the twins weren’t about to let Stan get off the hook without giving full credit where credit was due. Dipper made sure of that as he cleared his throat and nodded towards the Gems, who likewise looked to the conman expectantly. “Fine,” Stan rolled his eyes, though he was grinning nonetheless. “I guess the Gems helped too, if you wanna get specific about things.”

“If by ‘helped’ you mean squared off against a massive deadly automaton, then yes, we ‘helped’,” Pearl remarked with a joking smirk. “And then some, actually.”

“Yeah, we almost died,” Amethyst said, embellishing the details a bit for the sake of garnishing even more adulation from the crowd. And indeed it worked as the audience let out a collective, impressed gasp before applauding once again at the Gems’ heroinism. “But we’d totally do it all again to save you all from certain doom or whatever.”

The crowd continued to cheer in gratitude as Toby Determined squeezed to the front, his “camera” raised as he prepared to take a photo of the triumphant group for the town paper. “Smile for the camera!”

“Your camera’s a cinder block, Toby,” Stan deadpanned dryly.

“I just wanna be a part of things…” Toby frowned, lowering his cinder block in disappointment.

“Smile for a real camera,” Shandra Jimenez cut in, arriving with her news crew.

“Everybody say something stupid!” Mabel exclaimed as the entire group crowded together for the photo. The Gems remained in their place in front of the counter, though Amethyst hoisted Steven up onto her shoulders as the twins stayed on top of it with Stan. Once they had each taken up silly, lighthearted poses, everyone flashed the biggest smiles they could before the camera flashed.

“Something stupid!” all of them quipped brightly as the photo was taken, leaving them to share a warm laugh over it afterwards.

“And don’t forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight!” Stan proclaimed, holding up a poster for said party.

“It’ll be wild!” Amethyst added with a brazen grin.

“But not too wild,” Pearl interjected cautiously.

“You’re both kind of right, actually,” Garnet noted vaguely, her expression somewhat serious, though she didn’t bother to elaborate at the moment.

“No matter how wild the party’s gonna be, you won’t wanna miss it!” Mabel quipped to the engaged crowd excitedly. “We’re doing a karaoke bonanza, people! Lights! Music! Enchantment!” To add extra emphasis to her point, she blew the pile of confetti on her palm into the audience. “And an amazing karaoke performance by our super-huge, super-awesome band: Love Patrol Alpha!” With a proud grin, Mabel held up her artistic rendition of said band, that included not just her uncle and brother, but Steven and the Gems as well, all of them clad in rather flashy sequin jumpsuits.

“Oh wow! I can’t wait!” Steven exclaimed, completely delighted at the idea. “I love karaoke! And what could be better than singing it with some of my favorite people in the world?”

“Absolutely nothing!” Mabel readily answered, smiling just as widely as the young Gem, even if no one else was equally as enthused. “Isn’t that right, you guys?”

“Uh, I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned apprehensively.

“I never agreed to that ever,” Stan remarked plainly.

“Hm…” Garnet mused stoically, not completely on board with the idea herself.

“Do we really have to wear those outfits?” Amethyst asked, cringing somewhat.

“Goodness, I hope not…” Pearl muttered discreetly.

“Too late!” Mabel grinned victoriously. “I wrote all your names on the list! It’s happening!”

Before anyone could really protest, Wendy burst into the shack, blowing an airhorn to catch the crowd’s attention. “Buy a ticket, people! You know you don’t have anything going on in your lives!”

Eager to attend the aforementioned party, all of the townsfolk were quick to follow the cashier outside, leaving the Pines and the Gems behind and quite satisfied over the successful grand reopening. “Ah, this is the life,” Stan sighed contentedly, hopping off the counter. “The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet, and everything is finally going my way.”

“I have to say it is a welcome change of pace,” Pearl agreed with a small smile. “It’s hard to believe we’ve gone over a week without facing any deadly threats or dangerous monsters. Everything’s been so peaceful lately!”

“Ugh, but it’s so boring,” Amethyst groaned. “It kinda makes me wish something crazy would finally happen, ya know?”

“Seeing as how you three are basically disaster magnets, we probably won’t have to wait too long for that,” Stan remarked with a joking grin.

“I can’t say you’re really wrong there,” Garnet noted casually, eliciting small laughs from her teammates, and even a small chuckle from the conman himself. The ongoing comradery between them all had been going strong for over the past week now, to the point that Stan hardly even minded having the Gems down at the shack and the Gems didn’t complain over coming. It was as though all of the former disdain between them had faded after the tumultuous threat Gideon had posed to them all was now said and done. And in place of that disdain were surprisingly good feelings, feelings that the kids had all easily taken notice of and rejoiced in. After all, they couldn’t remember a time when their respective guardians had all gotten along so nicely, and if things continued as well as they were going, then that was something that showed no signs of ending at all.

And yet, despite the elation and revelry going around, Dipper found that he wasn’t able to take part in it as much as the others had, mostly for the sake of one thing that had been on his mind consistently over the course of the past week. And seeing as how Stan was in as pleasant a mood as he would ever be, he figured that now would be as good a time as any to bring it up to the conman. “Uh, hey, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper began somewhat hesitantly, having put quite a bit of thought into how he wanted to pose his request. “Now that we have a moment, I’ve been meaning to, um, maybe ask you for my journal back?”

“Wha-? Journal?” Stan raised an eyebrow and for a moment, Dipper feared that he was going to say no, but instead, the conman did the exact opposite. “Oh!” he exclaimed, cracking a sardonic smirk as he reached under the nearby counter and pulled the journal out from under it. “You mean this old thing! It was so boring, I couldn’t even finish it!”

“Aw, what?” Amethyst asked with slight disappointment. “You mean you didn’t even get to the pages about us in there? Come on, Stan. There’s some pretty juicy tidbits about Pearl in there, if you know what I mean…”

“Amethyst!” the white Gem huffed in aggravation.

“Amethyst’s right, Mr. Pines,” Steven added. “There’s some really neat stuff about the Gems in the journal! And the pictures of them in it are super fancy and realistic! You should have checked them out!”

“Meh, I might have glanced over them for a minute or two,” Stan shrugged, handing the journal back to Dipper, who could only take it in bewildered silence. “I dunno. I honestly don’t really remember or care.” The conman made sure to remain as even and unconcerned as ever as the Gems shot him a brief questioning look, but sure enough, they bought his innocent font. And fortunately so too, seeing as how, in reality, he had poured over the Gems’ pages in particular for anything Rose might have possibly slipped into them to throw him off course. Of course, Stan also failed to mention that he had made meticulous photocopies of the journal in its entirety, just in case he would need to call upon the information contained within it again, which he very likely would.

“Wait,” Dipper spoke up, looking over the cover of the journal in complete confusion. “You’re just gonna give it back to me? Just like that?”

“What else do you want?” Stan asked, smirking. “A kiss on the cheek?”

Dipper didn’t answer as he instead looked between his uncle and the journal once again, unsure of what to make of this unexpected turn of events. He hadn’t really known what Stan had wanted with the journal in the first place, but he had figured that the conman would pass it off as more than just mere folklore and fable upon actually looking through it. But, instead, Stan seemed to shrug it off completely, just as he did with almost everything else. And even though Dipper knew that this wasn’t unusual for the conman, something still wasn’t adding up all the same.

“Uh, I… I gotta go!” he quickly exclaimed, holding the journal as he started to run out, though not before briefly stopping first. “Steven, Mabel, you too!”

“Huh?” the young Gem frowned as him and Mabel exchanged a confused glance.

“We do?” Mabel asked, just as puzzled.

“Yes! Now, come on!” Dipper urged, grabbing them both by the wrist and pulling them upstairs.

“Hm… I wonder why they’re in such a hurry…” Pearl mused curiously.

“Who cares?” Stan asked dryly as Soos stepped up beside him.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind a kiss on the cheek,” the handyman offered ambivalently.

“Not gonna happen.”

The moment the trio made it to the attic, Dipper made sure to slam the door behind them and lock it tight in the hopes that neither Stan nor any of the Gems would think of eavesdropping but fearing it nonetheless. Steven and Mabel only grew more confused as they watched Dipper scramble around the attic in a paranoid rush, pulling the shade over the window down and turning the heads of all of his sister’s stuffed animals away, just in case.

“Uh, Dipper? Is everything ok?” Steven asked with apt concern as him and Mabel took a seat on the bed.

“Are you kidding me? Of course not!” Dipper exclaimed somewhat frantically, gripping onto the journal tightly. “Guys, we need to talk. Almost losing my journal made me realize that we’re already a good ways into the summer and I’m still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal, but why?” Steven and Mabel exchanged another worried glance as Dipper started to pace as he usually did when he was stressed, but even so, he continued. “The Gems were nearly ready to burn the journal without a second thought because of what’s written inside of it, but even they don’t know any of the answers to the big questions about it. Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said everything will change? There’s something huge going on right under our noses, and it’s time we stopped goofing around and got to the bottom of it!”

“Bro, you’ve looked at that thing like, a bazillion times,” Mabel pointed out, passing her brother’s concerns off as mere paranoia. “There’s nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?”

Dipper sighed in frustration as he remembered just how true this was, especially as he flipped through the disappointingly empty second half of the journal. “But there’s still so much we don’t know about the town, the Gems, everything,” he said, still far from content at this gaping lack of knowledge. “I feel like I’m just one puzzle piece away from finally figuring it all out…”

“Don’t worry, Dipper!” Steven encouraged with a bright smile. “I’m sure you’ll get to the bottom of everything eventually. And until then, you can always count on us to help you out, right Mabel?”

“You bet!” Mabel chimed, grabbing Waddles as he passed by. “Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! ‘I play by me own rules, wot, wot?’” she mimicked a British accent, holding the pig up while she pantomimed.

“Aw, we should make him a little detective’s outfit!” the young Gem exclaimed, charmed.

“Funny you mention that because I’ve been working on one!” Mabel grinned, holding the half -finished costume up. “Isn’t it adorable?!”

“Oh, totally!”

“I don’t know why I tell you guys things,” Dipper deadpanned, sighing in exasperation as he shut the journal. He knew that Mabel and Steven tried their best to offer support, but it was still rather frustrating to know that he was really the only one who took such important matters seriously. Stan clearly didn’t care, and while Dipper would have gone to the Gems for answers, but knowing how secretive they often were, he really didn’t expect to get much help from them. Regardless though, he was determined to finally uncover the truth behind the journal and the mysteries contained therein, even if he had to do most of the work himself.

And, ironically enough, a party seeking to do the very same thing was arriving at that very moment.

While the townsfolk were busy buying their party tickets on the other side of the shack, a mysterious black vehicle pulled up into the parking lot. Two imposing figures emerged from it, their expressions hardened and stoic as they marched up to the tourist trap.

“Hey, Mr. Pines?” Soos frowned, glancing out the gift shop window and noticing the car, particularly the “U.S. Government” label on the side of it. “What’s the code word I’m supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?”

Stan didn’t really catch this question at first, seeing as how he was in the midst of a friendly arm wrestling match against Garnet. While the conman was clearly losing, Amethyst still cheered him on from the sidelines as Pearl watched in muted amusement. However, the moment Stan heard Soos mention the government, he froze, allowing Garnet to easily slam his hand down into the table with a triumphant smirk.

“Wait, what? Government vehicle?” the conman asked, startled as he stood and rushed over to the window, his eyes widening as he saw said car.

“The government?” Pearl whispered to Garnet anxiously as the Gems also rose to their feet. “What are they doing here again?”

“Yeah, I thought we smooth talked them outta here years ago,” Amethyst scowled petulantly. “You think they would’ve gotten the memo that there’s nothing here for them to see.”

“Just remember what Rose always told us about dealing with the government,” Garnet advised calmly. “No mentioning magic or Gem history. We keep our powers under wraps and refuse them access to the temple, no matter what they say. Until they leave, we’re to blend in, pass ourselves off as normal humans the best that we can.”

“Way ahead of you, G,” Amethyst smirked, seamlessly transforming into her idea of a tall, astute business woman, bun, glasses, briefcase and all. “How’s this for a boring, average, unassuming human?”

“Humans don’t shapeshift, Amethyst,” Garnet reminded firmly, crossing her arms.

“Ugh, fine,” the purple Gem rolled her eyes, assuming her usual form. “But the minute these guys leave, I’m gonna shapeshift into them just to make fun of them.”

While the Gems discussed their plan of action, they hardly noticed Stan’s sudden panic over the government’s arrival himself. Acting fast, the conman pulled the shades down over every window of the gift shop before running to the intercom and shouting to his lingering patrons through it. “The Mystery Shack is now closed! Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!”

A mummer of confusion ran through the customers, but nonetheless they complied as they started to file out of the shop. In the midst of this chaos, the kids hurried down from the attic, curious to see what all the fuss was about.

“Grunkle Stan, what’s going on?” Mabel asked the conman worriedly.

“Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop,” Dipper added, just as puzzled.

“Oh no!” Steven gasped, suddenly concerned as he turned to the Gems. “Are we under attack by some sort of invisible Gem monster or something?”

“Steven, shh!” Pearl quickly quieted him, glancing around apprehensively.

Likewise, Stan was also quite nervous as he paced around the gift shop, until a round of heavy knocks finally sounded on the door. Still, he made sure to put on the flashiest grin he could muster as he went to answer it, hoping that he would be able to feign innocence believably enough.

The conman opened the door to reveal a pair of tall, broad-shouldered men, both clad in sharp black suits as they held up their IDs, showing that indeed, they had been sent from the U.S. Government itself. But even so, Stan spoke up first, allowing his usual knack for showmanship to guide him as he flashed the agents a smile that was a bit too big. “Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?” the conman’s grin grew a bit more anxious as he pulled a $5 out of his sleeve, hoping it would work. Unfortunately though, these stoic agents weren’t the kind to be driven off by a mere bribe.

“My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger,” the senior agent introduced himself and his partner. “We’re here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town.”

“Activity,” Trigger added for extra emphasis.

“Mysterious activity?” Stan laughed nervously. “In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!”

“I assure you I’m not,” Powers affirmed dryly. “I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor.”

The conman chuckled once more, thinking that the agent had merely been joking, but Power’s impassive expression remained unchanged. “I don’t understand that sound you’re making with your mouth. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re conducting an investigation.”

“Investigation!” Trigger exclaimed, pointing a threatening finger at the conman.

Stan could do relatively little as the agents pressed right past him into the shack, much to his chagrin. The Gems stiffened up a bit upon seeing the agents, but even though, they did their best to remain as coy and disinterested as they could as they stood casually near the counter, as not to arouse any sort of suspicion. Still, despite their best efforts, the agents were rather quick to notice the trio as they took a cursory look around the gift shop.

“Ladies,” Trigger gave the Gems a terse nod as him and Powers passed by them.

“Agents,” Garnet greeted just as sparsely, her arms still crossed. Amethyst and Pearl hovered close to her, the purple Gem keeping her sour gaze to the ground as the white Gem stood erect, her hands held tightly behind her back and her expression awash in hidden dread.

“You three look somewhat familiar…” Powers noted, looking them up and down suspiciously. “Have we met before?”

“Can’t say that we have,” Garnet shrugged, still doing most of the talking seeing as how she was clearly the most levelheaded out of the three of them in this situation.

“Y-yes, I think we would have remembered encountering such… esteemed members of the American administration as yourselves,” Pearl added with a forced smile. “Don’t you gentlemen agree?”

The agents exchanged a tentative glance, but fortunately, they bought the act of innocence. Still, they weren’t quite done with the Gems yet. “If you don’t mind me saying so, you three look a little… out of place in a small town like this…” Trigger noted with a skeptical frown.

“Oh, that’s because the Gems are from spa-” Steven tried to interject before Pearl quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, much to his confusion.

“Spain!” the white Gem exclaimed in a panic, her eyes wide as her nervousness got the better of her. “W-we’re from Spain! R-right, you two?”

“Sí,” Amethyst shrugged, though she didn’t say much else since her Spanish was a little rusty. Fortunately, Garnet had it covered.

“Es precioso allí en esta época del año,” the Gem leader said quite fluently. Fortunately, this was enough to finally get the agents off their tails. With a simple nod of acceptance, they moved on, allowing the Gems to breath a discreet sigh of relief, even as their young ward looked to them, befuddled.

“What gives, you guys?” Steven asked with a frown. “Why did you just lie to those agents like that?”

“Steven, we-” Pearl began with a sigh, though she was quick to stop herself upon noticing one of the agents glance back at them over his shoulder. “We’ll tell you later.”

“But-”

“We’ll tell you later,” Garnet echoed, much more firmly, her tone telling the young Gem that she was not about to budge on the matter.

The agents didn’t get much further along in their inspection before they were interrupted once more, this time by Dipper, who had been beyond intrigued from the moment he heard what the agents’ mission was. After all, it was the very same mission he had been working on all summer. “Wait!” he exclaimed, running up to the agents. “Did you guys say you’re investigating the mysteries of this town?”

“That information is classified, but yes,” Powers acknowledged, kneeling down to the boy’s level. “Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal, or perhaps even extraterrestrial origin all connected to this town. We’re just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery.”

Stan’s eyes widened a bit as he overheard this, briefly fearing that he had somehow been sloppy and these agents were onto him. Likewise, the Gems exchanged a worried glance, all of them alarmed at the prospect of the very same thing only for themselves. Still, Dipper hardly noticed any of their concerns as he grinned excitedly over the idea that someone else was finally as interested in these mysteries as he was. “No way! I’m investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!”

The agents looked to each other somewhat skeptically, unsure of what to make of the boy’s clear enthusiasm, but even so, Powers handed him an official-looking business card. “If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk.”

“We could talk right now!” Dipper offered zealously. “Please, come in! I have so much to show you!”

However, before Dipper could really lead the agents into the den, Stan finally cut in, stepping between his nephew and the pair of agents with a forced laugh. “I’m sorry, agents,” the conman said rather dismissively. “The kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem.”

“Ha! Zing!” Mabel quipped from the other side of the gift shop.

“Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore,” Stan continued. “Sells more tickets, you know?” With a snap of his fingers, the conman wordlessly instructed Soos to equip the agents with complimentary Mystery Shack memorabilia.

“Bam! Swag!” the handyman exclaimed, slapping fake antennae on their heads and bumper stickers on their chests.

“Stan is absolutely right,” Pearl pointedly agreed as both Garnet and Amethyst nodded their assent. “There really isn’t ‘paranormal’ a-and there certainly isn’t anything ‘extraterrestrial’ here in Gravity Falls. It’s a perfectly normal little town!”

“That’s right,” Garnet remarked rationally.

“Yeah, nothin’ to see here,” Amethyst added with an awkward laugh.

“C-certainly nothing that would warrant any looking into!” Pearl quipped before the purple Gem sharply elbowed her in the knee. “Um, I m-mean, nothing at all!”

Powers and Trigger exchanged another caustic glance at this, but even so, they seemed to take Stan and the Gems’ word for it, at least for the moment. “Regardless of whether or not that’s true, we still have other spots to investigate,” Powers said as stoically as ever as they both turned to leave. “We’ll be on our way.”

“I’m confiscating these as evidence,” Trigger said, grabbing a large armful of Mr. Mystery bobbleheads on the way out.

“Smart move.”

“No, wait!” Dipper called, running after the agents, distraught over how Stan and the Gems had practically destroyed his credibility with them. “We have so much to talk about!”

“Hold it, kiddo,” Stan was quick to stop his nephew at the door as it closed behind the agents. “Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party is cops.”

“Seriously, those guys were total buzzkills,” Amethyst remarked, making good on her word as she shapeshifted into Agent Powers and threw her voice to mock him. “‘Oh, blah, blah, blah, we’re investigating weird stuff, blah, blah, conspiracies, blah, blah, paranormal, blaahhh.” The purple Gem groaned as she shifted back into herself. “I’m glad they finally left. They were putting me to sleep!”

“So… why didn’t you guys let me tell them you’re from space?” Steven asked the Gems, still quite confused. “I mean, all of us know about it. So what’s the problem with telling other people?”

“The problem, Steven, is that we’ve lived in Gravity Falls a very long time,” Pearl sighed. “Long enough that the people of this town have gotten used to our presence here and think little of it. But outside of Gravity Falls… well…”

“People out there don’t adapt as well to the unknown as they do here,” Garnet said. “Especially to things like the supernatural.”

“Yeah, or aliens,” Amethyst added.

“But you guys are aliens!” Dipper exclaimed, aptly frustrated.

“And your point is…?”

“The point is those agents have no business sticking their noses around here,” Stan concluded firmly. “Which is why I’m confiscating that card.”

“Hey!” Dipper protested as the conman swiped the card the agents had given him, adding it to his already quite full box of contraband items.

“Now how’s about you try being a normal kid for once,” Stan said as he started to head for the den, taking the card with him. “Flirt with a girl, steal a pie off a windowsill or something.”

“But Grunkle Stan, you don’t understand!” Dipper pleaded, desperate not to lose this once in a lifetime chance.

“And don’t go talking to those agents!” the conman ordered as he left without sparing another word and leaving his nephew very disappointed.

“Ugh, that could have been my big break!” Dipper exclaimed, turning to the Gems in the hopes that they would see reason where Stan didn’t. “You guys can’t be serious about all this.”

“We’re completely serious,” Garnet confirmed, irresolute.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’re with Stan on this one,” Pearl remarked. “Having those agents poking around in matters they have no business investigating will only unnecessarily complicate things. And honestly, the same thing goes for you kids.”

“But they could help us finally figure out why Gravity Falls is so weird!” Dipper argued insistently.

“Or they could totally ruin everything,” Amethyst said, exasperated as the Gems started to take their leave as well. “Listen, dude. We got a sweet deal here. Everything’s finally chill for once. Why risk shaking it all up for a few lame old mysteries that don’t even matter?”

“They do matter!” Dipper stressed, thoroughly aggravated over how even the Gems refused to take him seriously. “You guys know they do! You can’t just shrug all of this stuff off like it’s nothing!”

“And we’re not,” Garnet replied calmly. “But there are a lot of things that take priority those mysteries. And making sure we can continue to protect this town uninterrupted is one of those things.”

“Uh, speaking of which…” Amethyst interrupted as she stood in the doorframe leading outside. “We got agents at the temple…” She nodded to the government vehicle which was now parked before the temple statue.

“Ugh, we should have expected as much,” Pearl groaned in annoyance as she began to head out. “They just don’t know when to quit. I suppose we’ll just have to trick them into leaving just like we did the last time the government decided to pay us a visit.”

“Looks like we’ll have to break out the smoke machines,” Garnet noted dryly.

“And the crossbow!” the purple Gem smirked mischievously, running out the door. “You know what, this just might be fun after all!”

Dipper didn’t really get much of a change to further debate with the Gems as they left, but Steven and Mabel could clearly see that he was still fuming over how both them and Stan had so easily dismissed him and his search for the truth. Likewise, the young Gem wasn’t in full approval of his guardians’ actions either, especially seeing as how they had slowly started opening up more and more over the past several weeks. But now, their recent, almost suspicious behavior seemed like a regression, one that Steven couldn’t say he was too happy about, seeing as how there was still a lot about the Gems he didn’t know himself.

“I still don’t know why the Gems are so worried….” Steven mused with a frown. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen if they let other people outside of Gravity Falls know about all the brave stuff they do to protect the Earth every day?”

“I know, right?” Dipper huffed in frustration. “Those agents have the experience and resources that could help us solve everything, but it’s like they just don’t care! What are the Gems and Stan so afraid of anyway?”

“Boys, boys, boys,” Mabel cut in, shaking her head with a grin. “You’re both so worried about all this heavy stuff, but maybe Grunkle Stan and the Gems are right. We’re throwing a party tonight! Dipper, can’t you go one night without searching for bigfoot or raising the dead or whatever?”

“I’m not gonna raise the dead,” Dipper scoffed. “I just need a chance to show those agents my book…” he said, pulling the journal out of his vest.

“Trust me, bro, the only book you’ll need tonight is right here!” Flashing a wide grin, Mabel held up a book of karaoke songs that she intended on utilizing to the fullest at the party later on.

“You know what, Mabel? You’re right,” Steven agreed with a smile as he leafed through the karaoke book. “We’ve waited this long to look for answers; I’m sure we can wait just one more night. Besides, I can’t wait to jam out to every song in here tonight!”

“That’s the spirit!” Mabel chimed brightly, even if Dipper sighed in aggravation over Steven apparently giving up so easily. “When I say kara—, you say —oke! Kara—”

“—Oke!” the young Gem readily exclaimed, stars in his eyes.

“Kara—”

“—Oke!”

“Kara—” Mabel started again, pointing to her brother this time, who only gave the pair a disapproving scowl. Yet even so, they shrugged his pessimism off, just as they usually did. “We could do this all day.”

Even though any guests had yet to arrive for the party, the exterior of the Mystery Shack was already alive with an air of festivity. A generous snack table had been set up courtesy of Soos, who discreetly took a few of the treats for himself as he laid them out. With his work at the car wash done for the day, Greg had volunteered to come by and help set up for the party with Steven, which is exactly what the two of them worked together to put up decorative lights.

“You should have seen those agents, Dad!” the young Gem exclaimed as he recounted the events from earlier that day to his father. “They were so tall and serious. I don’t think I saw either of them smile once! And the Gems were really actually kind of freaked out by them. Isn’t that weird?”

“Eh, not really,” Greg shrugged, his smile somewhat apprehensive. “You mom really was no fan of the government back in the day. She said it reminded her of-” The former rock star abruptly cut himself off, his eyes suddenly wide as he glanced down to his curious son. “Uh… it reminded her of... Huh, what do you know? I d-don’t really remember what she said about it after all! Sorry, kiddo.”

“Aw, really?” Steven frowned in disappointment, still wanting answers. “Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl really weren’t that clear about why they don’t want those government guys to know about them… Do you think it was because of whatever Mom said?”

“P-probably,” Greg nodded, sucking in an anxious breath as he quickly tried to change the subject. “But you don’t need to stress yourself out over all that stuff tonight, Sto-ball. Just cut loose and enjoy the party!”

“Hm… yeah, I guess…” the young Gem agreed half-heartedly, even if he was still pondering over it all internally. He couldn’t help but feel as though his guardians were still hiding something from him, from everyone really, something that they were afraid to let anyone else be a part of It wouldn’t be the first time, of course, but still, Steven had thought that the Gems were starting to become more trusting and open. So why then, were they still hiding themselves behind that same old veil of secrets that should have been lifted by now?

“Well, I think we’re just about done hanging all these—whoa!” Greg was abruptly cut off as a blast of confetti suddenly struck him, startling him but thankfully not knocking him off his ladder.

“Sorry, Mr. Universe!” Mabel called from the nearby porch, lowering her confetti canon with an awkward smile. “But hey, at least we know the confetti canon works!”

“It better for as much as I’m paying to rent that thing,” Stan remarked as he stood nearby, overlooking his party checklist.

“Oh! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs!” Mabel exclaimed, turning to said karaoke machine and switching through its offerings. “‘We Built this Township on Rock and Roll’, ‘Danger Lane to Highway Town’, ‘Taking Over the Stars’ by &ndra!”

“Oh my gosh, I love that song!” Steven gasped with a huge grin.

“Me too!” Mabel agreed just as zealously. “And we’re all gonna sound so great singing it tonight!”

“Listen, kid,” Stan interjected. “You do not wanna hear this voice singing. Trust me.”

“Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn’t about sounding good,” Mabel encouraged. “It’s about sounding terrible together. Right, you guys?” she called to the Gems as they arrived to the party.

“What are we talkin’ about?” Amethyst asked somewhat obliviously.

“We’re talking about how we’re all gonna preform karaoke together later!” Steven quipped. “It’ll be a great bonding experience for all of us! Maybe one that could help us all open up about ourselves a little more?”

“Oh right,” Pearl said, partially disinterested. “The singing thing.”

“I figured you three would be a little more excited for some karaoke action,” Greg noted with something of an awkward chuckle. “You know, seeing as how you guys love to sing.” The former rock star continued laughing for a moment or two, hoping that the Gems would join in, though they only met his humor with dry, deadpan stares. “Heh, woo boy….” he muttered with an anxious frown as the trio moved on, knowing that his attempts to strike up a comradery with the Gems were usually just as futile.

Dipper gave the Gems something of a discreet distrustful glance as they wordlessly passed by him and Wendy while they were putting up posters on the side of the shack. He was still admittedly quite upset with them as much as he was with Stan for undermining him in front of the agents earlier, especially since they had never really tried to discourage him from mystery hunting before. But now it seemed as though they were readily dismissing all of the oddities of Gravity Falls that they knew well and good existed, all for the sake of protecting their own hides. From what, Dipper wasn’t exactly sure, but nevertheless, it immensely irritated him that out of anyone, they were the ones who, along with Stan, wouldn’t allow him to peruse what could have been his best lead yet.

It didn’t take long for Wendy to notice how apparently perturbed Dipper was, and while she knew a little about the situation, she decided to try and lighten the mood a bit nonetheless. “Check it out! These black lights make my teeth looks scary!” she grinned standing in the glow nearby neon light. “It’s like a crime scene in my mouth! C’mon, you know you love it.”

Instead of being amused by this, Dipper simply let out a frustrated sigh, unable to think of really anything else but what had happened earlier. “It’s not fair. Finally, I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries of this town and what happens? The Gems just drive them off while Stan confiscates their card from me.”

“Dude, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this,” Wendy began, lowering her voice so her boss wouldn’t overhear. “But I’m pretty sure Stan hides like, everything in his room. If that card you want is anywhere, it’s gotta be in there.”

“Really?” Dipper asked, his tone suddenly hopeful though it was quick to fade. “But wait… if I go into Stan’s room, I could get in so much trouble.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Wendy acknowledged before breaking out into a mischievous smirk. “That’s what makes it fun, dummy!”

Without really needing any further convincing, Dipper readily agreed to this daring escapade and the two began quietly plotting their raid of the conman’s room. Fortunately, no one too much notice as they finished the last of the preparations for the party just as the first round of guests were starting to arrive.

“Aw man, I can’t wait to smash these Stañatas!” Soos exclaimed excitedly as he finished setting up a table stacked with piñatas shaped like the conman’s head. However, the handyman didn’t have very long to admire them before his hard work was abruptly ruined.

“Smash!” Grenda shouted as she body-slammed into the table, breaking it cleanly in half and sending the Stañatas flying. “Grenda has entered the party!”

“Stan’s brains look delicious!” Candy remarked, scooping up some of the treats left from the ruined piñatas.

“Girls!” Mabel cried gleefully, running up to her friends and wrapping them both in a tight embrace.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, Mabel!” Grenda yelled, her eyes wide with wonder. “Is that a boombox sweater?!”

“See for yourself,” Mabel grinned proudly, nodding down to her latest sweater.

“Poke!” Grenda tapped the play button on the sweater, which immediately started flashing and playing upbeat music. Delighted, all three of the girls started to freely dance to it, laughing brightly all the while.

Steven chuckled himself as he stood a few feet away and watched, though oddly enough, he didn’t join them as he usually would have, seeing as how he was still quite distracted with his musings over the Gems. In fact, he was only broken out of his thoughts upon noticing the hand that Connie was waving in front of his face.

“Hello? Steven?” she asked with a bemused grin. “Anybody in there?”

“Oh! Sorry, Connie,” the young Gem grinned bashfully as he turned to her, his smile widening upon noticing the simple, yet festive red party dress she was wearing. “Wow! You look great!”

“Thanks…” Connie blushed somewhat shyly before quickly changing the subject. “So… why aren’t you joining in on all the fun?” she asked, nodding to Mabel, Candy, and Grenda, who were still having the time of their lives dancing.

“Well… I would,” Steven admitted. “But… well… I’ve just been… doing some thinking instead…”

“Oh really?” Connie asked curiously, noticing how strangely serious Steven was. “Thinking about what?”

The young Gem was more than prepared to answer her, but ironically enough, his guardians arrived and interrupted him before he could. “Hello, kids,” Garnet greeted with a warm smile.

“You guys ready to PAR-TAY?!” Amethyst asked boisterously.

“Y-you bet we are!” Steven quickly exclaimed with a forced laugh. “In fact…. We’re so ready to party that we’re gonna go get a head start on it over here! A-and we’re totally not gonna talk about anything we shouldn’t be talking about, so uh…. Yeah! Bye!”

Before the Gems could question their young ward’s odd behavior, Steven was quick to grab Connie by the hand and whisk her away out of the trio’s earshot. “Well, that was strange…” Pearl noted with a concerned from. “But I’m sure it’s nothing we need to be concerned about.”

“You’re right. P. The only thing I’m concerned about is that snack table over there,” Amethyst grinned, licking her lips hungrily as she rushed over to it.

“Amethyst, wait!” the white Gem called, running after her as Garnet hung back stoically. “You can’t just eat all of those snacks! Oh, at least use a plate, for crying out loud!”

As 8 o’clock rolled around, the main influx of party guests started to arrive, and they were certainly plentiful in numbers. No one wanted to miss what was set to be one of the biggest celebrations the town had ever seen, which was why folks of all ages were showing up for it.

“Aw, I thought this was gonna be a rave…” Thompson frowned in disappointment as him and the other teens arrived.

“Thompson! Take off your shirt and make it a rave!” Nate shouted with a daring grin.

“I’ll do anything for your approval!” Thompson cried, ripping his shirt off wildly.

“Ooo! Now it’s a real party!” Jenny laughed as Sour Cream pulled out a glow stick and started waving it around.

Of course, no more than a second later, Tambry snapped a photo of the now-shirtless Thompson with her phone, much to his embarrassment. “Aw, come on!”

“I promise I won’t send it to anyone,” Tambry remarked dryly, only to do the exact opposite and send the picture out to all her contacts.

As guests steadily continued to pour in, Stan stood at the admissions table with a proud smirk, more than ready to take their money as Greg helped him count it all up. “Whoa, Mr. Pines, you’re making a killing tonight,” the former rock star remarked, impressed.” Who knew that so many people would be willing to spend $10 to come to a party that they could have otherwise gotten into for free?”

“Tell me about it,” Stan grinned broadly. “The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents either.”

“Oh yeah, Steven was telling me about them,” Greg frowned, lowering his voice a bit. “So, uh…. What are you gonna do if they find out about-”

“They won’t,” the conman said, his tone suddenly cold and hard. “I’ve gotten this far without anyone finding out about it. I’m not about to let two crackpot government crooks ruin everything.”

“Ironically, the Gems are apparently on the same page as you are about them,” the former rock star said. “Though they’re worried for totally different reasons, I guess.”

“Pfft, whatever,” Stan scoffed, crossing his arms. “Let them be skeeved out by those dumb agents. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not gonna find out about it, and you’re not gonna tell them, right Greg?”

“Hey, I’ve kept that promise for over twenty years now,” Greg assured. “I have pretty much no reason to break it now.”

“Good,” Stan nodded tersely, moving away from the subject as he briefly glanced over his shoulder. “Wendy, Dipper! How are those posters coming along?” Upon not receiving a response, the conman turned fully to see neither his cashier nor his nephew were still working on putting said posters up. In fact, they were nowhere to be seen, something that instantly made the conman aptly suspicious.

Having managed to successfully sneak away from the party, Dipper and Wendy soon found themselves standing right outside of Stan’s room. The door in and of itself was somewhat foreboding, heavily tacked with warnings clearly meant to keep the twins, or more specifically Dipper, out.

“I’ll keep an eye out for Stan,” Wendy said as Dipper stepped up to the door. “You go rustle through his weird old man biz.”

Dipper nodded as he took in a deep breath and grabbed the door knob, only to find that it wouldn’t budge. “What? It’s locked!?” he asked, dismayed. “Seriously?!”

Before he could even begin devising another way to get in, a certain purple Gem happened to drop down from the ceiling right in between him and the door. “Boo!” Amethyst shouted with a rouge grin as she hung from the support beams. She laughed in amusement as Dipper stumbled back, startled, before dropping to the ground. “Ha! You should have seen the look on your face, dude! It was classic.”

“A-Amethyst?!” Dipper exclaimed, quite alarmed. After all, the purple Gem could certainly stand to throw a wrench into things if he wasn’t careful. “What are you doing here?”

“Eh, just hangin’ around,” the purple Gem smirked, shapeshifted her arms long so she could hang from the rafters again. “I think the better question is what are you guys doing trying to get into Stan’s room? What, are you gonna try and see if he has any cool weird stuff in there?”

In a burst of sudden fear, Dipper was more than prepared to shake such an accusation off, but Wendy ended up speaking up first. “Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged, as calm as ever. Dipper sent her a panicked glance at this, but she was quick to reassure him with a discreet wink. “Why? Are you gonna tell Stan or something?”

“Pfft, why would I do that?” Amethyst scoffed with a smile. “I’ve broken into Stan’s room plenty of times just to tick him off. In fact, here’s a bit of advice. He keeps the key on top of the door frame.” The purple Gem gave the door a sudden kick, which sent the key hidden above it tumbling down into the palm of her hand. “Here ya go,” she said, handing it to Dipper.

“Whoa… uh, thanks, Amethyst,” he said, taking the key with an inconspicuous grin.

“No prob, dude,” the purple Gem remarked as she started to head off. “And if you find anything creepy awesome in there like a dead body or a week-old sandwich or something, let me know!”

Both Dipper and Wendy released a shared sigh of relief the moment Amethyst was out of earshot, knowing that all could have gone so much worse. “Ok, that was way too close, dude,” Wendy said with a worried frown. “You might wanna get in there and get out before someone like Garnet or Pearl shows up. Chances are they wouldn’t be as easy to get rid of as Amethyst was.”

“Good point,” Dipper noted, turning back to the door and quickly slipping the key inside of it before heading on in.

As Dipper had expected, the interior of Stan’s room was rather poorly lit and musty, perhaps even moreso than the rest of the shack was. Still, he didn’t bother to take too long to get a good look around; after all, he was only here for one thing, which was why he didn’t hesitate to start searching for it.

“Alright, Grunkle Stan, where did you hide that card?” Dipper muttered to himself as he began by checking the nearby drawers. Of course, all he found upon an initial inspection were old copies of Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine, boxing gloves and brass knuckles, photos of Stan and Amethyst’s various Revenge Trip escapades, and disturbingly enough, catalogues for women’s clothing and swimwear. “Ew!” Dipper cringed with disgust upon seeing them, only imaging why the conman might have had them. “Pretending I never saw that!”

Moving on from the drawers, his next stop was in front of the large, self-adulating portrait of Stan hanging from the wall. Dipper initially didn’t think much of it, but upon a second glance, he happened to notice that something was rather odd about how it was hung. “Wait a second…” he mused, pulling up a stool so he could properly push the portrait aside. And sure enough, a secret compartment was hidden in the wall behind it, and contained in that compartment was the conman’s infamous contraband box. “Yes!” Dipper exclaimed with an wide smile, easily finding the agents’ card tucked inside. “I got it.”

Not wasting a single moment, Dipper rushed for the phone resting beside Stan’s bed and quickly dialed the number on the card up, anxiously holding his breath as it rang for a moment before someone finally picked up. “Agent Powers,” the senior agent greeted dryly through the phone.

“Hi! This is Dipper, th-the kid from the Mystery Shack,” Dipper began, trying not to let his excitement get the better of him. “The one with the, um, ‘sweating problem’? B-but anyway, I have that journal I wanted to show you!”

“And you’re certain this ‘journal’ will help our case?” Powers asked, somewhat doubtful.

“I’m a hundred percent positive,” Dipper replied firmly, believing that the agents would certainly be convinced the moment they saw the journal.

“Very well,” Powers assented tersely. “We’re on our way.”

Dipper started to thank the agent, but before he could even get any words out, the line abruptly went dead. With a surprised gasp, he turned to see none other than Stan standing over him, his finger on the phone’s receiver and a rather irate scowl on his face.

“Sorry, Dipper!” Wendy called from behind the conman. “I got distracted…” she frowned, holding up her phone to show the picture of Thompson Tambry had sent her.

“Kid, why did you call those agents?” Stan asked Dipper, his tone exasperated as he took the phone away from him and hung it up. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times! The only weird thing in Gravity Falls is the Gems, and even then they’re not that weird when you come right down to it. But aside from them, there’s nothing ‘supernatural’ in this town.”

“Yes, there is!” Dipper exclaimed, beyond frustrated by the conman’s denial of everything he knew to be true. “After everything that’s happened, you have to know that by now!”

“All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble someday,” Stan remarked coldly, shoving his nephew out of his room. “Now go enjoy the rest of the party. ’Cause when it’s over, you’re grounded!”

Dipper wanted nothing more than to continue arguing with Stan over the matter, but the conman’s hardened expression alone was enough to tell him that he’d get nowhere with trying to discuss this further. And really, it didn’t matter that much anyway, seeing as how he had successfully gotten in contact with the agents after all and they were indeed on their way. So instead, he simply left, though not before sending the conman a brief angry glance as he walked away.

Stan let out a long, tired sigh as soon as Dipper was gone, his cross scowl fading into slight regret. In all honesty, he really didn’t want to be so hard on his nephew over this; after all, he was simply curious and the conman couldn’t exactly fault him for that. But at the same time, Stan knew well just how dangerous such curiosity could be. He had seen firsthand what looking into these dark mysteries could end up doing to a person, and the last thing Stan ever wanted was for that to happen to someone as young and innocent as Dipper.

Still, the conman couldn’t dwell on all that now. With the agents no doubt on their way, he had to ensure that the basement would be removed from their notice, least everything fall apart completely. Which was why Stan made a beeline for the gift shop, or more specifically the vending machine as he input the familiar code into it. Since everyone was preoccupied with the party outside, fortunately there wasn’t a soul around to see him enter the hidden door to the basement so he could get to work.

It didn’t take too long for the party to get into full swing, and once it had, no one was enjoying it more than Mabel. As bouncy dance music flowed through the event, she made sure to immerse herself in it, not just through her moves, but through her mingling as well. After all, Mabel prided herself on being a spectacular hostess, and she had every intention on showing her social skills off with every one of their guests.

“Looking good, Mr. Fryman!” Mabel called to the fry shop owner as he busted freestyle moves before both of his quite embarrassed sons. “Gorney! You clean up nice!” she grinned, passing by the cheerful young lad. “Mr. Poolcheck! Move those crazy legs!” she encouraged, walking a bit faster past the high-strung pool manager. “You—you weird pool man.”

Mabel stopped short as she came to Sherriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland, neither of which looked too amused or enthralled as they looked over the wild festivities. “What’s the problem, officers?” she asked with a charming grin. “Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?”

“We’ve got complaints about the loudest party in town,” Durland remarked coldly.

“Three words,” Blubbs said, his tone dead serious. “We want in.”

Mabel was quick to comply by inserting party horns into both of their mouths before lowering her voice down to an excited whisper. “Welcome to your dreams!”

As the party heated up even more, the Gems were mostly content to stand on the fringes of it, making sure that its guests stayed safe while also indulging in it a bit themselves. Amethyst had no problem moving to the music as freely as she wanted, and while Garnet and Pearl were a bit more reserved about their levity, they still smiled and tapped their feet to the beat nonetheless. That is, until Greg happened to pass by.

“Uh, hey, you guys,” he greeted with something of an awkward smile. “How are you three liking the party?”

For a moment, the Gems gave the former rock star a bit of a dry glance before Garnet answered with a shrug. “It’s alright.”

“Heh, yeah,” Greg laughed halfheartedly. “You know, Mr. Pines asked me to play a few songs from my old set later on. You guys should come check it out. They were some of Rose’s favorites.”

“Oh really?” Pearl asked, her tone somewhat cold as she crossed her arms.

“Y-yeah,” the former rock star blushed, realizing that his attempts at small talk were quickly floundering. Which meant that now would probably be a good time to bail. “So um… have any of you guys seen Steven around lately?”

“Nah, not since him and Connie ran off earlier,” Amethyst remarked, shoving a handful of chips into her mouth. “They’re probably playing spin the bottle or whatever.”

“Amethyst!” Pearl scolded as Greg’s eyes widened a little upon hearing this.

“What? It’s probably true.”

As it turned out, the purple Gem’s assumption wasn’t exactly true. Indeed, Steven and Connie had gone off to a more quiet corner of the party, but only so the young Gem could fill his friend in on his guardians’ odd reactions to the agents’ arrival.

“And when I asked them why they lied to the agents, they just said something about how people don’t adapt to things like them outside of Gravity Falls,” Steven explained with a fretful frown. “But I still don’t’ get it. I’m sure if people knew about how hard they work to protect the earth, then they wouldn’t be afraid of the Gems! They’d love them, just like people here do!”

“Well, I don’t know, Steven…” Connie said thoughtfully. “Maybe the reason why the Gems are so afraid of the government is because they’re not from Earth in the first place.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” the young Gem asked, confused.

“I’m just saying, from what I’ve heard, the government doesn’t really react the best to aliens,” Connie remarked with a shrug. “Haven’t you ever heard of Area 51?”

“Area 50-what?”

Connie raised a confused eyebrow at this, but even so, she prepared to explain, only to be interrupted by Mabel. “There you guys are!” she exclaimed brightly. “The karaoke extravaganza is about to begin! You gotta come watch. It’s gonna be karawesome!”

“We’ll be there in a second, Mabel,” Connie assured with a smile. “We just gotta—whoa!” She was abruptly cut off however, as Mabel grabbed her by the wrist and excitedly began leading her off, unable to wait.

“Come on, Connie!” Mabel encouraged as the others simply let out an amused chuckle at her enthusiasm. “You too, Steven! We’re gonna miss the first act if we don’t hurry!”

“Don’t worry, I’m coming!” Steven laughed as he stood and prepared to follow the girls, only to be stopped again, this time by Dipper.

“Wait, Steven!” he grabbed the young Gem by the arm, glancing around briefly before whispering something in his ear.

“Whoa, really?” Steven asked, impressed by what Dipper had just told him.

“Yeah, and I’m gonna need your help,” Dipper nodded, knowing that Steven could certainly assist him when it came to the Gem side of things. “Now, come on!”

Before anyone, particularly Mabel, Connie, or the Gems, could notice, the boys hurried off, slipping away from the party and heading out to the path between the shack and the temple, where conveniently enough, the agents had arrived not too long ago. Powers and Trigger awaited as stoically as ever, glancing down at their watches a bit impatiently as Dipper and Steven hurried up to them.

“Hi!” Steven greeted the agents brightly. Dipper was quick to lightly elbow him however, silently reminding him that they were supposed to be taking this meeting very seriously. “Oh, I mean… good evening,” the young Gem turned his excitement down a bit, standing up straight to come across as sincere.

“Alright, boys, let’s make this quick,” Agent Powers said, his tone already quite bored. “We don’t have all night.”

“Don’t worry; you guys won’t regret this,” Dipper assured. “Working together, we can crack all of the big questions of Gravity Falls! Trust me, this book is the lead you’ve been looking for.” He paused as he pulled the journal out and handed it to the agents so they could look through it for themselves. “So I’m thinking we do a full scale investigation; forensics, researchers… Do you guys have a helicopter? Oh, I’m sorry, helicopters.”

“I wanna ride on a helicopter!” Steven exclaimed, his usual excitement returning. But even so, the agents weren’t quite convinced.

“Kid, I’d love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle’s gift shop,” Powers scoffed, holding the journal up and pointing to one of its sillier entries. “I mean, a Leprecorn? I can’t be the only one who thinks that’s not funny.”

“I can confirm,” Trigger shook his head. “Not funny.”

“No, no! It’s real, I swear!” Dipper protested, suddenly panicked at the idea that even the agents wouldn’t hear him out on this. “You should ‘send it to the lab’. Am I saying that right?”

“Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours,” Powers said dismissively, handing the journal back to Dipper. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have paperwork to do.”

“Boring paperwork,” Trigger emphasized as they both began to head back to their car.

“But wait!” Dipper called after them, desperate not to lose this change. “What… what if I told you we have real, actual aliens right here in Gravity Falls?!”

The agents merely rolled their eyes as they continued on their way, clearly not buying this. Fortunately though, Steven was quick to vouch for this claim. “He’s right!” the young Gem exclaimed. “They’re called the Crystal Gems and they’re from a planet called Homeworld, way out somewhere in space! And believe me, I should know. I live with them! In fact, I am one of them!” With a hopeful smile, Steven lifted his shirt to show off the gem on his stomach, something that did make the agents stop briefly in their tracks upon seeing it.

“Kid, I’ll level with you,” Powers said, clearly uninterested. “That thing looks more like sort of tacky decoration anyone could buy at the local dollar store than anything even remotely resembling an alien artifact.”

Steven and Dipper exchanged an alarmed glance at this, knowing they were quickly losing what little ground they had. But even so, they weren’t about to give up yet. “B-but its true!” Dipper stressed fervently. “The Gems really are aliens and they can do magic and—Steven! Quick! Show them your shield or your bubble or-”

“I think we’ve heard enough,” Powers interrupted fully turning away. “Like I said, we don’t have time to entertain flights of fantasy like these.”

“No, wait!” Dipper cried, distraught enough to really do anything to convince the agents at this point. “I can prove that all this stuff is real!” Acting fast, he opened the journal and frantically flipped through its pages, looking for something that was immediate and poignant enough. “Come on, come on,” he muttered to himself anxiously, not even paying any mind to Steven, who was curiously looking over his shoulder at the book as well. “Gnomes… cursed objects… Gem stuff… spells, aha! Listen to this!” he shouted after the agents before reciting the incantation on the page before him, not really paying much mind to what exactly it was for. “Uh… Corpus levitus! Diablo dominus!”

“Um… Dipper?” Steven spoke up worriedly, especially as an unsettling breeze began to blow through the trees above them. But even so, Dipper largely ignored him as he shouted out the final phrase of the spell, far too provoked to stop now.

“Mondo vicium!” he finished loudly, his final word echoing through the forest as the winds picked up a bit. Steven sucked in an anxious breath as the ground suddenly started to tremble under their feet, and Dipper’s eyes widened as he snapped the journal shut, unsure of what exactly the spell he had just recited really even was.

The agents’ full attention and alarm was now gathered as the localized earthquake grew violent, to the point that after mere seconds, it managed to tear a large and lengthy crack into the earth itself. Fortunately, Steven was quick enough to pull Dipper onto the safe side of the steadily growing rift along with him, especially as a sinister green light and ominous dark smoke stared pouring out of it. Everyone watched with ever increasing fear and dread as a hand abruptly shot out of the crevice, preceding the appearance of the being that slowly pulled itself up out of the depths of the earth.

Upon a first glance, it was vaguely humanoid in appearance, though as it stumbled out of the fog towards the group, it was clear to see that this creature was far from a living person. Rather, it was a dead one, a zombie to be exact. Its form was tall, gangly and heavily decaying, grisly flesh rotting from its bones, one of its eyes hanging limply from its socket just as much as its jaw was. The reanimated corpse let out a low, feral groan as it slowly sulked towards the group, obviously hungry to feast on warm human brains.

While everyone else could only stare at the approaching zombie in fearful disbelief, Dipper let out a small laugh of satisfied relief, knowing that his spur of the moment plan had worked after all. “Ha! A zombie! A real, actual zombie! See? Spooky journal. 100% real. Now can we work together?”

“Mother of all that is holy!” Powers gasped, his usual collected demeanor completely broken at such an alarming sight.

“What do we do?!” Trigger exclaimed, taking a step back as the zombie gradually drew closer.

“It’s just one zombie,” Dipper remarked, hardly concerned as he began leafing through the journal for a solution. “Trust me, we see things like this all the time here, right Steven?”

“Uh, y-yeah…” the young Gem said with a nervous grin. “If worse comes to worse, we can always find them Gems and have them—AH!” Steven let out a frightened cry as the zombie suddenly lurched towards them, ready to attack. Throwing his arms out wide on instinct, he somehow managed to form his bubble around himself and Dipper right before the corpse could smack into it seconds later, clawing and beating against it in an attempt to get to the terrified boys. Fortunately though, Agent Powers reacted accordingly by bashing the zombie on the head with a large rock, easily knocking it out cold. “Whoa…. That was a close one…” Steven muttered, staring at the now downed zombie with wide eyes.

“W-what is that?!” Trigger asked in awe as he looked to the pink bubble surrounding the boys.

“Oh this? It’s my bubble,” the young Gem said as though it was obvious.

“See? We told you guys!” Dipper exclaimed with a proud smirk. “The Gems really are magical aliens! Now you have to believe us, right?”

Of course, the agents could only really gape at each other in shock, completely dumbfounded by everything they’d seen. The boys also looked to each other with slight concern, fearing that perhaps they were overwhelming the agents with too much at once. “W-well, hey, at least we only had to deal with that one zombie, huh?” Steven asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. However, this quickly proved to be frighteningly ironic as the ground started to tremble once more.

Without any provocation or warning, more and more zombies began crawling up from the still open crevice in droves, their eyes shining with a haunting yellow as they began to go after the horrified group. “Uh, you know what? F-forget I said anything!” Steven exclaimed fearfully as his bubble unfortunately burst at just the wrong time.

“Oh my gosh!” Dipper gasped, instantly deeply regretting ever reading that spell. “Y-you guys can help, right?” he asked the agents pleadingly.

“Kid, we’ve been chasing the paranormal for years but we have never seen anything like this before!” Powers remarked, backing away from the still approaching zombies fearfully.

“Get down!” Trigger warned his partner, but it was ultimately too late. Before either of the agents knew what was coming, a pair of zombies beset them both from behind, pulling them both down to the ground violently. The boys managed to jump away before the zombies could grab onto them too, but even so, there was nothing they could do to help the struggling agents as the reanimated corpses began to drag them both off into the darkness of the forest until only their terrified cries could no longer be heard.

“Oh man, what have I done?!” Dipper exclaimed, finally realizing the full extent of the disaster he had just inadvertently started. He had been so desperate to finally convince someone that the oddities of Gravity Falls were real and valid that he had failed to even think about what the consequences might be. But now, it was clear that his persistence had ended up creating an incredibly dangerous situation, one that he had no idea how to solve on his own.

“Dipper! Look out!” Steven abruptly broke him out of his thoughts however by pushing him out of the way before another zombie could pounce on them both. The boys barely had time to pick themselves up off the ground before the army of the dead was upon them again, intent on making them both their next meal. “We gotta get out of here! Come on!” the young Gem shouted warningly. Dipper didn’t disagree as they both took off, narrowly avoiding the reaching hands of the zombie horde as they hurried back towards the shack as fast as they could, lest they fall victim to a terrible fate, just as the agents had.

Regardless of the danger awakening within the nearby woods, the party at the shack was still quite lively and festive, mostly because no one knew of the trouble coming. The stage was open for anyone who wanted to take it and preform karaoke for the rest of the guests as they danced and cheered along. Currently, Blubbs and Durland were at the height of their improvised rap duet, one that the excited crowd was certainly getting into.

“What up, fools, its Blubbs and Durls,” Blubs rapped, moving to the beat with his partner.

“Makin’ all that money and getting’ them girls!” Durland shouted the next part before Mabel took the mic to pump the crowd up even more.

“Is this party legendary or what?!” she called with a huge grin. “When I say ‘Mabel’, you say ‘Pines’! Mabel-!”

No more than a second later, of course, the earthquake that had rattled the forest finally made its way to the shack, striking fear into the hearts of all of the party guests as they felt it. A round of frightened screams rose up from the crowd, especially as the shaking grew more intense and violent, but even so, Mabel just assumed it was a show of merriment from the audience. “Mabel-!” she tried her call and response again, only for someone in the crowd to let out another horrified shriek.

“We’re all gonna die!”

“Why does that never work?” Mabel frowned, only to finally feel the ground trembling beneath her for herself.

“Whoa, I think it’s an earthquake!” Wendy shouted in alarm, quickly blowing her airhorn to alert the terrified party guests. “Hey, everybody! We gotta get outta here!”

Without needing much further provocation, the guests all started making a break for their vehicles, none of them too keen on sticking around in such hazardous conditions. Connie gasped as she tried to remain steady on her feet, her eyes wide as she glanced around at the horde of fleeing guests for one particular young Gem. “Steven!” she called, realizing that he was nowhere in sight, and neither were the Gems for that matter, something that was quite alarming considering what was happening.

“Connie, you gotta escape while you still can!” Grenda shouted as she ran by, Candy tucked safely away into her backpack as they made their escape.

“But what about-” Connie was abruptly interrupted as the ground jolted once again, this time knocking her to the ground completely. Immediately after picking herself up, she found that she was unable to do much to prevent herself from getting caught up by the bulk of the crowd as they ran off in a desperate panic. “No, wait!” she cried, trying to break free from the throng, though she was ultimately unable to lest she get trampled by them completely. “Steven!”

“Wait! Don’t leave!” Mabel also shouted out after the escaping guests, quite dismayed over how the party was falling apart so quickly. “We haven’t even done our dual family karaoke song yet!”

Still, Mabel didn’t really have time to chase the fleeing crowd down as Dipper and Steven returned to the party in just as much of a hurry as the guests were running away from it. The boys did stop as they made it to the stage, both of them quite out of breath as they tried to regather their bearings for a brief moment.

“Guys, what’s going on?!” Mabel asked them with increasing worry.

While they were both still rather breathless, Steven was the first to speak up, even if any information he tried to get out came in short, exhausted bursts. “W-we…. agents…. woods… journal… spell… zom-”

“Zombies!” Mabel cut him off with a frightened gasp as the army of the dead started emerging from the woods in pursuit of the boys. However, her fear only lasted a brief moment before turning into frustration. “Dipper, what’s the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?”

“Raise the dead…” Dipper said with a remorseful sigh.

“And what did you do?”

“Raised the dead…”

“S-so, uh, what are we gonna do?” Steven asked worriedly as the zombies menacingly approached them. “There’s so many of them, and only three of us!”

“Make that four!” Soos exclaimed as he heroically rushed forward, placing himself between the kids and the corpses to protect them. “Stay back, dudes. This is about to get intense.”

Of course, the zombies were hardly deterred as they instead surrounded the group and knocked over the nearby snack table, essentially surrounding them on all sides. With their backs pressed against the side of the shack and the zombies starting to close in on them, all they could really do was let out a round of shared frightened screams, that is, until Soos interrupted it. “Sorry, one second,” he said, taking his phone out and snapping a picture of the zombie horde, much to the kids’ disbelief. “Come on, you gotta admit this is pretty cool.”

“W-we gotta find the Gems!” Steven cried, glancing around desperately for any sign of his guardians.

“How are we supposed to do that?!” Dipper asked incredulously. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re totally surrounded!”

“Duck!” Mabel warned just in time as one of the zombies swung its disembodied head towards them widely. Fortunately, they all managed to evade it, and better yet, this gave them all a small window of escape, one that they were quick to take as they rushed through the wall of reanimated corpses.

“Dudes, stay calm,” Soos cautioned breathlessly after they had put some distance between themselves and the zombies. “I’ve been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I’ve seen, I literally know everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies.”

Ironically enough though, no sooner had the handyman said this than a zombie just so happened to come upon him right from behind, sinking its teeth deep into his shoulder before he even realized what was happening. The kids let out a unified gasp of horror as Soos’ skin paled, his eyes instantly taking on the same empty golden glow as the other zombies, a sign that he had indeed become one himself. “On second thought,” the handyman said, his tone still amicable as he turned to the kids. “Gonna flip the script. Can I… eat your brains? Yea or nay? Seeing some yea faces over here.”

Unable to really do anything else at this startling turn of events, the kids all prepared to make a panicked escape, only to find that, once again, they were cornered by another wall of zombies, all clamoring to get their hands on them. Terrified beyond measure, the trio crowded together closely, hoping that either a spur of the moment plan would come to one of them, or that a miracle would happen.

And fortunately for them, the latter hope came true.

Without warning, a large table suddenly crashed into the zombies to the left of the kids, mowing a several of the zombies down instantly. Seconds later, a familiar white spear skewered through several more of the corpses while a whip coiled around several more of them, squeezing them together tightly until their brittle bones finally snapped.

Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all let out a collective sigh of relief as the Gems seemed to drop down from the heavens before them. Their weapons were drawn and ready for attack as they stood their ground against the still converging zombies, not about to back down, despite the great threat. “Ugh, zombies,” Amethyst groaned with disgust, lashing her whip out at a corpse that got a bit too close for comfort. “Man, it’s been years since we’ve beaten some old dead heads in. Heck, it’s been so long I can barely even remember what happened last time.”

“Kids! Are you all alright?!” Pearl asked, turning to the still fearful trio behind them anxiously. “What happened?”

“Dipper accidentally summoned the zombies to try and convince those government guys that all the weird stuff in Gravity Falls is real!” Steven quickly explained, much to Dipper’s immediate protest.

“Steven!” he snapped in apt disbelief over how the young Gem had just unintentionally outed him to the Gems. After all, there would be no way that they would take something like this lightly.

“Oh, was I not supposed to tell them that?” Steven asked with an awkward frown. “Sorry!”

“You did what?!” Pearl asked Dipper harshly, her jaw dropped in appalled shock.

“Dude!” Amethyst scolded as she fought to break the end of her whip away from a zombie.

“I-I didn’t mean to!” Dipper quickly tried to defend himself. “I was just-”

“There will be time to talk about this later!” Garnet shouted over the din of the groaning corpses. “For now, you three need to get inside! We’ll deal with them.”

None of the kids were really in any position to argue with this plan, which was why they took off through the clearing the Gems had created through the zombies earlier. At the same time, the Gems themselves properly leapt into action, launching their first attacks against the army of the dead without delay.

As a pair of zombies lurched towards Garnet, they were instantly met with her fists to their guts as the heavy blows from her gauntlets practically snapped their spines in half. Amethyst summoned another whip from her gem, swinging both weapons out widely and allowing them to coil around the zombies closest to her. As the purple Gem threw her whips together, the groups of corpses rammed into each other, their skulls breaking and their limbs going limp in defeat. Pearl went wide with her approach, leaping high into the air and tossing a spear at several of the zombies that had started going after the kids. Her attack stabbed the creatures through cleanly as the white Gem landed, but before she could summon another spear, a zombie managed to latch onto her arm before chomping into her upper arm hard.

“Ow!” Pearl cried, swinging a fist out and punching the zombie directly in the face, knocking it away from her. Fortunately, since Gems were constructs of light rather than flesh, the bite had no effect on her, but even so, the wound still hurt quite a bit. “Ugh, I forgot how annoying these things were!”

“Yeesh, just how many zombies did Dipper summon?!” Amethyst exclaimed, backing up a bit upon noticing that the influx of corpses showed no signs of stopping.

“Stand your ground, Gems!” Garnet ordered, her fists clenched tightly as they all found themselves backed against the shack. “Don’t let them overwhelm you!” she shouted as the zombies seemed to do just that.

At the same time, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven continued to rush for the nearest entrance to the shack, only to of course be intercepted by a group of zombies, headed by none other than Soos. In an attempt to clear the way somewhat, Dipper grabbed a nearby shovel and swung for the nearest zombie, somehow managing to cleave it cleanly in half. Unfortunately, one of the other corpses managed to pry it away from him, leaving the kids seemingly defenseless and trapped once again.

“Quick! The golf cart!” Dipper exclaimed, pointing to the cart, which they could hopefully make good use of to outrun the dead horde. However, before the kids could even start making their way towards it, another faction of zombies pounced upon it, knocking it over as they began mindlessly biting it. “Oh come on!”

“Hoo, that’s a bummer,” Soos remarked with a grin, still rolling with his zombie pack. “Good news for me though.”

“Soos!” Dipper scolded harshly.

“Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!” the handyman chuckled, not halting his pursuit as the rest of the zombies did the same.

Once more, the kids found themselves pressed against the shack, still too far away from the nearest door to try and break through the horde to get to it. “What do we do now?!” Mabel asked fretfully, as the army of the dead started to converge upon them.

“Uh… maybe I can try summoning my shield?” Steven suggested nervously, not entirely sure that it would work, knowing how fickle the weapon was when it came to appearing. Still, he tried nonetheless, lifting his shirt up and focusing all his energy on getting the legendary shield to materialize over his gem. “Come on! We could really use you right about now!” he pleaded with his gem, which, unfortunately, gave him no results.

“Stay back!” Dipper shouted to the zombie horde, throwing the nearest thing he could find at them, which happened to be a small disco ball. Of course, instead of actually hitting any of them, one of the zombies somehow managed to catch it in its mouth, swallowing it whole. Trapped inside the corpse’s exposed stomach, the ball emitted an array of colorful lights through its ribcage, which flashed brightly as the zombies merely continued their advance.

“Give it up, dudes!” Soos encouraged, leading the pack. “Your fighting only makes us look more rad!”

“Oh man, it’s like things just keep going from bad to worse tonight!” Steven cried as him and the twins huddled together once more.

“W-what happened to the Gems?” Mabel wondered worriedly, noticing the trio was nowhere in sight. “And where’s Grunkle Stan?”

“How’s he supposed to help?” Dipper asked caustically. “He doesn’t even believe in the supernatural!”

As it turned out, the conman was actually completely unaware of the complete and total disaster going on outside as he had instead been sequestered deep within the basement for the past hour or so. Stan assumed that everyone, including the kids and the Gems, would be distracted with the party for quite some time, meaning that no one would really notice his absence as he continued his work at a steady pace.

Yet even so, Stan let out an exasperated sigh as he went through another set of buttons, watching with disinterest as the machine on the other side of the glass flashed its usual bursts of light. While he had hoped that his work would distract him from how he had snapped at Dipper earlier, but even so, he could hardly think of anything else. The conman knew he had to walk a fine and careful line with the twins, now more than ever, for the sake of protecting their entire family really. The only problem was that he couldn’t very well tell them why without undermining everything he had been working so long for. Of course, he did plan on telling them eventually, when they would all be more prepared for such an earth-shattering revelation. But for now, Stan had every intention of staying the course and remaining as discreet as possible. After all, he theorized, it would be better for them all this way.

But even still, that didn’t mean that a wrench hadn’t been thrown into things.

“Those agents could ruin everything,” the conman remarked to himself disdainfully as he picked up the first journal from the table. “Darn kid! He has no idea what he’s messing with. He’s stubborn, that’s his problem.” Stan paused as he glanced down at the journal, catching his own reflection on the golden six-fingered hand on its cover. “Sorta like me, I suppose…” The conman shook his head, knowing that he really couldn’t be called anything else but stubborn. After all, who else would have dedicated 30 years of their life to something this risky, something this challenging? Something that could very well be nothing more than a pipe dream in the end?

“Ugh, I’ve got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now,” Stan said dismissively, putting the journal back down on the desk as he went back to work. “Now, let’s see here…”

Of course, as the conman was preoccupied with the machine, he failed to notice the security feed coming in through the monitor on the dash behind him, which showed the twins and Steven still in the midst of fleeing from the zombie horde. They had decided to try and go around wide in an attempt to make it to the front door, only to be cut off by a single zombie as they rounded the corner. Fortunately though, Mabel took the offensive this time.

“Take that, suckah!” she shouted, swinging her karaoke machine wide at the corpse. The heavy machine landed a rather brutal blow, one that was enough to send the zombie’s head flying off and its body collapsing in defeat, much to the kids’ shared amazement. “Huh, this thing’s a surprisingly good weapon!”

Yet even still, the zombies kept on coming, relentless in their pursuit and uncountable in their number. With the path to the door finally clear, the kids charged for it, only for it to suddenly fly open right as they made it there, resulting in them all falling against each other in their rush.

“Kids?” Greg asked as he looked down at the trio with apt concern. “What’s going on?”

“Dad!” Steven gasped, hurrying to his feet as the twins did the same. “No time to explain! We gotta get inside, now!”

Before the former rock star could ask any questions, the kids had managed to push past him into the shack and close the door tightly behind them. “Quick! We need to board up all the windows!” Dipper exclaimed, already hurrying to gather what he could to do just that.

“W-what for?!” Greg asked, alarmed at how apparently panicked the kids were.

“K, so long story short, there’s like a ton of zombies out there,” Mabel quickly explained, nodding to the window as the dead army inched towards it. “So we’re just hiding out in here, trying not to get eaten by then, you know, normal party stuff.”

“Z-Zombies?!” the former rock star exclaimed fearfully. “I’m in the bathroom for what, five minutes, and suddenly there are zombies running around? W-well…. Where are the-”

Greg was abruptly interrupted as the door slammed wide open again, and for a moment, everyone feared that the zombies were already upon them again. Thankfully though, this was far from the case as the Gems rushed in, making sure to shut the door once again and lock it up tight this time. All three of them looked clearly worse for wear as they leaned against the door, panting out of apparent exhaustion. Their clothes were torn, hair disheveled and they were all sporting more than a few bruises and zombie bites, though they were fortunately free from their transformative effects.

“Guys!” Steven cried, running up to his guardians with deep worry over their respective conditions.

“There’s too many of them,” Garnet reported tiredly, adjusting her cracked shades. “Even for us.”

“We barely made it in here alive!” Pearl exclaimed, standing upright as she looked over her various injuries. “These zombies are so much more aggressive than the ones we’ve dealt with in the past! One of them nearly ended up cracking my Gem!”

“And they just don’t know when to quit either!” Amethyst growled as she shoved a plank of wood in front of one of the windows, blocking a few zombies from entering. “They’re easy to beat, but so dang hard to get rid of!”

“S-so what do we do?” Dipper asked, hoping that the Gems of all people would have a solution. However, the trio merely exchanged an uncertain glance, they expression alone giving away the fact that they really had no idea what to do to save the day this time.

Still, no one had any time to fret over this, especially as the zombies beset the barred off windows, beating against the planks of wood until they all too quickly shattered, granting them access inside. “Hey, dudes!” Soos greeted brightly, leaning in the window as his zombie compatriots started pouring in. “By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. To these dues, I’m like, a genius or something! Get those brains, dawgs!”

No more than a second later, all of the power in the shack instantly shut off, casting the darkness and dim lights from outside into the shack and making things seem all the more like a living nightmare. Despite their weariness, the Gems summoned their weapons once more as they stood between the zombies and the kids and Greg, knowing well that this could be their last stand.

“Stay strong,” Garnet commanded, her fists tight as the zombies lurched towards them. “And if we go down… we go down fighting!”

“Right!” Amethyst and Pearl nodded in unison, launching themselves at the creatures, weapons blazing.

Seeing as how they could do little to help, Greg was quick to take the initiative in keeping the kids safe by finding what he hoped could be their escape route. “Quick!” he shouted to the terrified trio, grabbing his nearby guitar. “This way!” The former rock star shoved the door to den open, only to find a zombie standing right behind it. Acting on impulse, he swung his guitar at it, knocking it out cold, though there were still plenty more where that one had come from. And while the Gems were trying their best to keep the other corpses at bay, it was becoming increasingly obvious to the kids that there was no easy way out.

“Dipper, isn’t there something in the journal about defeating zombies?!” Mabel asked anxiously as they all crowded into the corner, zombies pushing past the struggling Gems just to get to them.

“No!” Dipper exclaimed, frantically flipping through the book only to come up with no real results. “There’s nothing in here about their weaknesses!”

“S-so is this…?” Steven trailed off, pressing against his father, who kept a secure hand on his shoulder in the face of this grave danger.

“I… I think so…” Dipper lowered the journal, the stark realization of the severity of the situation finally settling in. And indeed, it really did seem as though there was no hope. The zombies continued pouring into the shack without end, and it was clear that they were easily overwhelming the Gems. They had already pinned Amethyst to the ground, had cornered Pearl against a wall, and had grabbed Garnet by both of her arms, effectively restraining her from fighting back. And if even the Crystal Gems themselves couldn’t prevail over this deadly threat, then who could? “This can’t be happening…” Dipper shook his head in stunned disbelief. “I wanted answers so bad that I put everyone in danger. Now we’re toast, it’s all my fault, and no one can save us!”

No sooner had Dipper finished saying this, however, than a nearby zombie suddenly grabbed his arm tightly and quickly hoisted him up, more than ready to devour him without a second thought. “Dipper!” Mabel and Steven cried in shocked, horrified unison. Likewise, upon noticing this, the Gems fought harder than ever to break free from the zombies surrounding them, though it was painfully clear that they wouldn’t be fast enough to save him, no matter how hard they tried.

“Whoa! H-hold on!” Greg exclaimed, drawing his guitar back to swing towards the offending zombie. “I’ve got-” Before the former rock star could send his instrument reeling forward however, another zombie latched onto it from behind, forcing Greg to pull back against it, lest he loose his only means of defense. “Hey! Let go of that!”

“N-no!” Dipper shouted, struggling against the zombie still clinging onto his arm like it was a vice. Still, as the create began to draw in close, it was becoming increasingly obvious to him that there would be no escaping or rescue from this. Still, he knew he could only really blame himself for his own inevitable demise. After all, he had been warned time and time again to be careful, to not dig too deep too fast. But in the end, he hadn’t listened to any of those warnings, and had instead perused dangerous answers to dangerous questions, answers that were now very much proving to be not only his own undoing, but everyone else’s as well. “Mabel! I-I’m sorry!”

“Dipper!” Mabel practically sobbed, hating how completely helpless she felt in this situation, especially as the zombie opened its maw wide, pulling her brother in even closer. All three of the kids let out a unified terrified scream over what was happening, none of them able to stop it or the fact that they were all about to meet their own respective deadly fates.

Or so it seemed, until at last, a miracle finally happened.

Right before the zombie could manage to sink its teeth into Dipper, something slammed hard against the back of the creature’s head, sending it falling forward. Its grip instantly loosened, allowing Dipper to fall to the floor mostly unscathed as Mabel and Steven both rushed to him to make sure he was ok. As all of the zombies were distracted by this sudden change, the Gems took their change to break free from their hold as well and Greg even managed to reclaim his guitar. Still, no one knew quite what had happened until the zombie’s head was firmly and abruptly crushed under Stan’s foot.

The conman stood firm and strong in the door frame, his fez missing, his hair askew, and his suit filthy and tattered from fighting through the zombie horde. Fueled by adrenaline, he was panting as he gripped a baseball bat tightly, though nothing was more frightening than his completely livid expression as he looked down at his nibblings. “You two! Attic! NOW!” he shouted harshly, his tone fiercer than the twins had ever heard it before.

“Grunkle… Grunkle Stan…?” Dipper asked in breathless disbelief, but even so, Stan was having none of it at a moment like this, especially as the zombies started crowding once again.

“I said NOW!” the conman barked, pointing to the stairs. “And that goes for you two too!” he yelled to Steven and Greg, who, much like the twins, were in no position to argue with him. Without any further hesitation, they all rushed for the stairs, encountering a stray zombie or two on the way up, though the former rock star managed to make quick work of them with his guitar.

“And what are you three looking at!?” Stan asked the Gems with a cold scowl, clearly not in the mood to deal with them in light of the ongoing fray. Regardless though, the trio could only stare at the conman with shared shock, their jaws dropped in amazement over what had just happened. “Haven’t you ever seen a man beat a zombie’s head in before?”

It took a moment for the Gems to regather their bearings, but when they did, Amethyst was the first to speak up. “Woo! Heck yeah, Stan!” she cheered, summoning her whip with renewed verve as she rushed to his aid. “Let’s show these dead creeps who’s boss!”

“What is this world coming to…?” Pearl muttered, her eyes still wide with astonishment. “We were just rescued by… Stan of all people… I can’t believe it…”

“Believe it,” Garnet replied with a shrug, summoning her gauntlets as she knocked a round of zombies out. Likewise, the white Gem was quick to shake most of her awe away as she took up her spear, spinning it widely at a group of incoming courses.

“All right, you dead jerks,” Stan snarled at the zombies surrounding him and Amethyst as they stood back to back, ready to fight. “Are you ready to die twice?!”

“Yeah! Let’s get ‘em!” the purple Gem yelled boisterously, lashing her whip out and cutting several zombies down.

Stan beat a few away from him with his bat as the brawl was pushed into the living room, him and the Gems along with it. “The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me!” the conman growled, swinging his impromptu weapon out wide. “And the Gems, every now and then.”

“Hey!” Pearl protested crossly, sending Stan a disapproving glare.

“Behind you,” the conman nodded to the zombie coming up on the white Gem. With a startled gasp, she quickly spun around and stabbed it cleanly through as Amethyst let out a wild chuckle.

“Dang, Stan! You are on fire tonight!” the purple Gem hooted excitedly.

Still, Stan didn’t have much time to respond as he rammed the side of his bat into a nearby zombie, only for the corpse to latch onto it and bite it cleanly in half. The conman was hardly deterred however, holding his own right alongside the Gems as he cleanly clocked the zombie in the jaw with a brass-knuckled fist. “Anyone else wanna piece!?” he challenged boldly.

“Looks like they do,” Garnet replied dryly as the horde started to easily outnumber the four of them, especially as they began pouring in through the front door. “This way! Quick!” the Gem leader pointed to the stairs Greg and the kids had just hurried up, knowing they would be relatively safer up there. They still continued to beat zombies back as they made a beeline for the stairs, and after they had all made it to the top, Stan pushed the nearby grandfather clock down the staircase in the hopes that it would buy them at least a little time.

At the same time, the kids and Greg rushed into the attic, slamming the door shut behind them, though it was only seconds later that someone started pounding against it, no doubt the zombies arriving to finish them all off. “S-stay behind me!” the former rock star warned the kids, his guitar raised to strike. Fortunately he didn’t have to use it, for instead of the undead army, Stan and the Gems all burst into the room instead.

“Ugh, ow!” Stan groaned, letting out a cough as he tiredly leaned against the door for a moment. “Everything hurts.”

“Bar the door,” Garnet ordered, gently pushing the conman aside as Pearl jammed her spear into against the handle to keep the corpses from coming.

“Yeah, and put that thing down, Greg,” Amethyst scoffed in amusement, noticing the former rock star still wielding his guitar like a weapon. “What, are we gonna defeat the zombies with the ‘power of music’ or something?”

“Hey, you can’t blame me for being a little tense,” Greg remarked, lowing his instrument. “We are dealing with actual flesh-eating zombies after all.”

“Just like in the movies!” Steven exclaimed with a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood a little. An attempt that really didn’t work, all things considered. “O-ok… so maybe not just like the movies…”

“Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed, thoroughly impressed by the conman’s heroism. “Are you alright?” he asked with apt concern upon noticing just how weary his uncle looked. Still, Stan only met this worry with a caustic look, one that all three of the Gems shared as they looked to Dipper for an explanation he didn’t really have. “Heh, w-well… at least you can’t deny that magic exists anymore, right?”

A beat of silence past as the conman looked away from the twins, his expression darkening as he stood up a bit straighter. “Kid, I’ve always known.”

“Wait… what are you talking about?” Dipper asked, quite taken aback by this revelation.

“I’m not an idiot, Dipper!” Stan exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is its dangerous!”

At this juncture, a zombie’s hand abruptly broke in through the door of the room, prompting the entire group to quickly back away, but even so, the conversation continued. “And that danger is exactly what we’ve been trying to warn you kids about!” Pearl interjected, rarely agreeing with Stan. “But did you listen to us? Of course not! Otherwise we wouldn’t be surrounded by an innumerable number of reanimated corpses right now!”

“Ok, I’ll admit that what I did was really dumb,” Dipper said with clear remorse.

“Really, really dumb,” Mabel added for good measure.

“Not helping!” Dipper gave his sister an aggravated glare before turning to Stan. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve been pretending like none of this stuff exists all summer!”

“Oh really? Because I think it’s pretty obvious,” the conman replied pointedly. “I’ve been lying about it to try and keep you away from it. To protect you from it!” Another zombie happened to break in through the window at this, though Stan was quick to send it plummeting to the ground far below with a single brutal blow. Still, as he stood at the window, he could see the mass of corpses still vying to get into the building as they began steadily scaling it, meaning that they wouldn’t have much time left. “Looks like I didn’t lie well enough…”

“So… what now?” Greg asked apprehensively, looking to the Gems. “You guys have a plan, right?”

The Gems merely exchanged a desperate glance at this before letting out a unified defeated sigh. “We don’t…” Garnet admitted, looking to the ground. “Not this time.”

“B-but we have to do something!” Steven urged fretfully. “We can’t just let them climb up here and eat all our brains! I’m still using mine!”

“Well, normally the journal would help us,” Dipper began, pacing around the room as he usually did in stressful situations like these. He took the book out one last time, glancing over the zombie page yet again only to find no aid from it. “But there’s nothing in there about defeating zombies! It’s hopeless!”

“Wait!” Mabel gasped as Dipper held the journal up over one of the black lights lying on the floor. “Look at the text! It’s glowing in the black light!”

“What?” Dipper frowned in confusion, grabbing one of the lights and holding it over the journal as everyone curiously gathered around to see. And sure enough, the moment the neon struck the brittle pages, it illuminated countless glowing notes and images, all of which had been completely invisible to the naked eye before. “No way!” Dipper exclaimed in stunned disbelief, instantly realizing just how much this revelation changed everything. “All this time I thought I knew all the journal’s secrets, but they were hidden in invisible ink this whole time!”

“Invisible ink?!” Stan muttered incredulously, his eyes widening upon seeing the hidden notes for himself.

“Wow!” Steven quipped in amazement. “And just when I thought the journal couldn’t get any cooler or more mysterious, it does! This is awesome!”

“Should we be concerned about this?” Pearl whispered to Garnet worriedly, thinking specifically of the pages detailing themselves.

Before Garnet could reply, another zombie managed to make it to the window, though a quick jab from the Gem leader resulted in its immediate defeat. “We’ll have plenty of time to be concerned about it later,” she remarked to the white Gem quickly, knowing that there were much more important matters to be dealt with now.

“This is it!” Dipper exclaimed after briefly skimming the newfound secret notes the zombie page had to offer before reading it aloud. “Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by the combination of a stringed instrument and a perfect several-part harmony.”

“A stringed instrument, huh?” Greg asked, grinning at his guitar. “What do you know? Looks like the power of music might just save the day after all.”

“Yeah but how do we create a several-part harmony?” Dipper wondered, looking over the journal once more. “I have a naturally high-pitched scream…?”

“I can make noises with my body,” Stan offered. “Sometimes intentionally.”

“Boys, boys,” Mabel interjected with a satisfied grin. “I think you’re both missing the obvious solution here.”

“Yeah! We gotta sing!” Steven exclaimed with a smile just as large.

“Sing?” everyone else asked in bewildered unison, none of them completely convinced of this idea.

“Uh, I don’t think we’ve ever used singing to beat monsters before…” Amethyst said incredulously. “Most of the time we just beat them up till they go away. But since that isn’t working for these guys…”

“I suppose we don’t really have any other viable options…. But could something that simple even work?” Pearl asked skeptically, looking to Garnet for answers.

The Gem leader simply shrugged as she nodded towards the window, reminding the group that they had no time to lose. “It’s worth a shot.”

By now, the number of zombies surrounding the Mystery Shack was easily in the hundreds, maybe even more. While plenty of them had been taken down, it was still barely enough to put even a dent in how many of them there really were. By sheer brute force alone, the ravenous corpses had pushed their way into the shack, all of them mindlessly eager to feast on any flesh they could get their rotting hands onto. However, they were finally deterred in their mission as the sound of a microphone screech suddenly rang out through the building. Intrigued by this noise, the zombies started congregating towards its source, including Soos, though he was ultimately distracted by the TV as he passed through the den.

“Ooh! Gossiping Housewives is on!” the zombified handyman exclaimed with a grin, taking a seat on the recliner. One of the zombies groaned, beckoning him to join them as they continued their way outside, but even so, Soos merely shrugged them off. “Eh, I already sat down.”

Soon enough, the majority of the zombie horde had gathered outside, all of them quickly noticing the group standing on the roof awning high above them. Mabel had made quick work of setting the karaoke machine up, and Greg already had plugged his amp into it as he started testing a few scales to make sure everything worked properly.

“Ok, Pearl, it’s 56383,” Steven read the number of the song from the karaoke book.

“56383…” Pearl repeated as she punched in the number once again, growing increasingly frustrated with how the machine refused to cooperate with her.

“Uh, sometime tonight, Pearl?” Stan urged caustically, glancing down at the audience of zombies below them.

“I’m trying!” the white Gem snapped, clearly stressed over the pressure they were under. “Steven, are you sure that’s the right number? I keep typing it in, but it doesn’t seem to be playing!”

“Oh, you need to hit start,” the young Gem informed her.

“Ah… I see.” Pearl did so, and at once, an upbeat pop backtrack began playing from the machine, one that Greg easily picked up on and started strumming along to.

“Zombies and gentlemen!” Mabel shouted over her microphone. “I’m Mabel, they’re Dipper, Stan, Steven, Mr. Universe, and the Crystal Gems, and together we’re Love Patrol Alpha!”

“I never agreed to that name!” Dipper quickly clarified, already quite uncomfortable with this embarrassing situation in general.

“Uh… kids? Our lives may not be worth this,” Stan said with dry concern.

“Stop whining,” Garnet interjected firmly. “Just sing.”

“Hit it, Steven!” she encouraged, pointing to the young Gem as the words to the song appeared on the karaoke machine’s screen. Not that he really needed them in the first place.

“We can’t help it if we make a scene,” Steven began boldly, strutting across the stage a bit as a sign that he was clearly invested the number already. “On Friday night in our hot pink limousine…”

“Partying till dawn,” Dipper shakily picked up where Steven had left off after the mic was passed off to him. “Got my favorite dress on?! You guys, this is stupid!” he huffed to Steven and Mabel who were both having the time of their lives, despite the danger they were up against.

“We’re rolling to the party, turning heads stopping traffic,” Mabel sang brightly, swaying freely along to the beat. “I just keep dancing, posing, joking, laughing-” She was abruptly cut off as a zombie finally made it to them, lashing out towards her with a hiss. Fortunately, it was intercepted by a kick from Stan, but even still, it had served as a grim reminder that this was no game. “Guys! We have to sing together or it won’t work!”

“Way ahead of you!” Amethyst grinned, getting into the song herself as she sang the next part. “I’ve got a pair of eyes that they’re getting lost in!” she belted, playfully bumping up against Pearl and prompting her to sing along with her.

“Who cares what they say? We keep on walking,” both Gems sang, easily harmonizing before Stan begrudgingly picked up the tune.

“The boys are dazzled but they’re all just bores,” the conman sang, cringing at the sound of his own gravelly voice. Fortunately though, Garnet continued on clear and smooth.

“When I point they look, just show them the door!” the Gem leader was quick to motion to everyone else to gather around her, especially as Greg began strumming harder while the chorus approached.

“Ohhh, haven’t you noticed, girls are what we are?” the entire group sang together, harmonizing as best as they could. However, it seemed to be working as several of the zombies below let out high-pitched screams of pain, covering their ears in an attempt to block the melody out as several of their heads even happened to explode altogether. Encouraged by this, everyone continued with the chorus, much more hopeful about their chances this time around. “Ohhh, we’re taking over the stars! Ohhh, haven’t you noticed we made it this far? Ohhh, girls are what we are!”

At this break in the song, Greg strummed a loud riff on his guitar with an excited smile, one that brought several more of the zombies on the ground to their knees. The entire group exchanged exhilarated grins, all of them completely into their performance by now. “Oh, everybody needs a friend,” Steven, Dipper, and Mabel sang in unison, creating a miniature harmony of their own.

“And I’ve got you, and you, and you,” the Gems answered melodiously, spinning together as they pointed to the laughing kids.

“So many, I can’t even blame them,” Stan and Greg sang together, jamming out to the beat before everyone else chimed in.

“We’re queens of the disco! We’re too famous!”

With as much fun as they were all admittedly having, none of them were paying too much mind to the zombies, who were all quickly falling in quick succession. As the song continued, the corpses’ heads caved in, unable to handle the harmony the group was sending out quite powerfully. But even so, they kept it going, unable to stop such a stellar performance at its very height.

“Ohhh, haven’t you noticed girls are what we are?” the gang launched into the chorus once again, huddling together over the same mic. “Ohhh, we’re taking over the stars! Ohhh, we’re coming into view as the world is turning! Ohhh, we’ve made it this far!”

Before they could move onto the final lines of the song, one of the last remaining zombies managed to scale onto the roof, catching Steven and Dipper off guard as it towered over them. However, before it could attack, it was squarely met with a burst of confetti courtesy of Mabel’s confetti canon. As the disembodied head landed in the punch bowl down below and the sun started to rise behind the shack, the group regathered to bring their number to an energized end.

“Now everyone can see us burning!” the Gems, Stan, and Greg sang together, all of them smiling brightly as they handed the next line off to the kids.

“Now everyone can see us burning!” the trio harmonized again before the others joined them for their epic grand finale.

“Now everyone can see us burning!”

With one more riff from Greg’s guitar to finish things off, the group couldn’t contain their elated cheers and laughter for very long. “Thank you!” Mabel exclaimed, blowing a kiss to the yard full of now-defeated zombies before them. “We’ll be here all night!”

“Deal with it, zombie idiots!” Stan laughed triumphantly.

“We’re all karaoke beasts!” Amethyst howled, pumping her fists excitedly.

“I have to give you some credit, Greg,” Pearl remarked with a begrudging smile. “You really came through for us with that guitar, against all odds.”

“So, thank you,” Garnet nodded, her tone sincere as she addressed the former rock star.

“Aw… well…” Greg blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re welcome. That really means a lot coming from you guys. You know, I-”

The former rock star was suddenly cut off as the karaoke machine started playing the song they had just preformed again, much to everyone’s shared confusion. “Uh, Pearl?” Dipper asked with a frown. “Exactly how many times did you enter the song before hitting start?”

“Probably about 15 times,” Pearl replied, quickly realizing her error. Regardless, Steven and Mabel let out delighted gasps as they looked to each other, stars in their eyes as they jumped on this opportunity.

“Encore!” they shouted in cheerful unison, and as pumped up as they all already were, no one was really in any position to disagree as they started their song all over again.

After capping their repeat performances at five, the group carefully descended from the roof, the Gems going out first to make sure no zombie stragglers remained. The entire area surrounding the shack looked like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie, with the withered bodies of the decaying dead laying battered and broken at nearly every step. The building’s interior didn’t fare much better, as the zombies had clearly ravaged nearly every room, flipping over furniture, breaking windows, and tearing nearly anything they had touched to shreds. And yet, for as horrific of an experience as the zombie attack had been, no one was really that shaken by it, largely because they were all still on the high of their victory, even as they surveyed the damage.

“I’m really sorry about this, guys,” Dipper spoke up, looking to Stan and the Gems in particular. “I totally ruined everything.”

“Dipper, are you kidding me?” Mabel interjected with a grin. “I got to sing karaoke with some of my favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that!”

“Yeah!” Steven readily agreed. “That was seriously the funnest life-threatening situation we’ve ever been in. And I think we’ve been in enough life-threatening situations by now to know.”

“Still…” Pearl cut in rather pointedly, crossing her arms as her and her teammates gave Dipper something of a disappointed glance. “I do happen to recall a certain someone telling us that he would be “super careful” with a certain journal… don’t you, Dipper?”

“Right…” Dipper took in an remorseful breath, avoiding eye contact with the Gems. “I guess I sort of broke that one, didn’t I?”

“Sorta?” Amethyst scoffed. “Dude, you summoned a whole army of zombies. ‘Sort of’ doesn’t come anywhere near close.”

“Ok, I get it, you guys are mad,” Dipper said, his tone quite apprehensive as he still tried his best to play it all off regardless. “Which is understandable. But… you’re not gonna make me hand over the journal or anything, are you?”

The Gems simply looked to each other at this, their expressions hard at first before finally softening up a bit. “We can’t very well do that,” Garnet admitted. “After all, we already told you that you could keep it. But we do expect you to start using more responsibly from here on out.”

“Well, after what just happened, I really don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” Dipper said with a small, relieved smile.

“We better not,” Garnet advised rather stoically. “But in the end, whether or not you get to keep that journal isn’t our call. It’s Stan’s.”

The conman raised an eyebrow upon hearing this, admittedly surprised, but even so, he met his nephew’s pleading gaze evenly. “Kid, listen,” he began with a tired sigh. “This town is crazy. And if you wanna know exactly how crazy, just ask the Gems, because they’ve been here way longer than I have. But still, you need to be careful. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I’ll let you hold onto that spooky journal, as long as you promise me that you’ll only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble.”

“Okay…” Dipper tentatively agreed, knowing that this really wasn’t much different from what the Gems had asked of him. “But as long as you promise me that you don’t have any other bombshell secrets about this town.”

Stan set his jaw upon hearing this, knowing that he couldn’t in all honesty deliver on this promise. Which was why it was a good thing he wasn’t that entrenched in the practice of honesty in the first place. “Promise,” he nodded tersely, hiding his crossed fingers behind his back.

“Promise,” Dipper also agreed, doing the exact same thing, unbeknownst to the conman.

With all this talk of secrets and promises going around, Steven couldn’t help but frown a little as he glanced over at the Gems. He still felt as though they were keeping something from him, something big. Whatever that something was, he was certain it had to do with why they had been so anxious about the agents finding out about them. The young Gem had a sense that there was more to it though than just his guardians nor originating from Earth; this was deeper, more integral, darker. And while Steven desperately wanted to know exactly what it was, he felt as though he wasn’t really ready to pose such a question to the Gems. At least not yet.

“Yikes, we have got a lot of damage to clean up,” Stan remarked as he glanced around the wrecked living room. “Where’s my handyman at anyway?”

As if on cue, Soos wandered into the room, somehow still zombified as he let out a ravenous groan. “Brains…. Braaains…”

“Holy Moses!” the conman exclaimed, startled as he grabbed a chair to hurl at the zombified handyman.

“Aw, geez! Another one?!” Amethyst asked in dismay as all three of the Gems summoned their respective weapons.

“No wait!” Steven cut in before they could attack. “It’s just Soos!”

“Oh…” Stan and the Gems mused in realization, even if they were all still admittedly confused.

“Good thing there’s a page in here about curing zombification,” Dipper remarked, pulling the journal out and flipping through it. “It’s gonna take a lot of formaldehyde.”

“Ooh, and cinnamon!” Mabel exclaimed, reading over her brother’s shoulder.

“Come on, Soos, let’s fix you up,” Dipper began using the chair Stan had dropped to prod Soos into the kitchen, even if the handyman lamely struggled.

“Brains… Brains…” Soos groaned, reaching out in an attempt to get the kids, who were hardly phased, mostly since the Gems were sticking close behind them just to be safe.

“Soos, cut it out!” Mabel scolded petulantly.

“Yeah, everybody knows its super rude to try and eat peoples’ brains,” Steven added blithely.

“Heh, sorry dudes!” the handyman chuckled, unable to resist his zombie instincts.

As the others headed on into the kitchen, Dipper hung back a bit, taking out the black light he had saved before flipping the journal open again. “I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed to himself with an excited smile, briefly glancing over all of the previously undiscovered entries and passages, each one more interesting than the last. “All this time the author’s secrets were hiding in plain sight! A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore…”

As morning fell over the forest near the shack, a sort of calm had fallen over the area, a sign that the danger had passed and peace had been restored. Still, this stillness only lasted for a moment or two, before two disheveled, exhausted figures pulled themselves up out of the crevice the zombies had emerged from. Fortunately, they weren’t corpses themselves, but considering the night both agents had had, they had gotten dangerously close to becoming ones.

“That was insane!” Trigger exclaimed breathlessly, brushing the filth off his suit as he rose to stand. “I’ve never seen anything like this! Zombies, aliens, magical books! Who do we even report to?”

Powers’ expression was as unmoved as ever as he pulled the skull of the zombie that had bitten his suit off, watching as it crumbled to dust in his hand. “This is bigger than we imagined,” he said with cold resolve. “We need to bring in the big guns.”

“But they’ll never believe us!”

“Then we’ll make them believe us,” Powers asserted, taking a tentative glance up to the Gem temple in the distance. “This is the town we’ve been looking for.”

Despite their verve, both agents were caught off guard as Toby Determined, who still thought he was at the party, happened to wander by, blind-folded and wielding a stick that he swung about in an attempt to strike a piñata. “Ah! Another zombie!” Trigger cried, reaching for the gun on his belt.

“Drop your weapon!” Powers demanded, doing the same as they both aimed for Toby. “Drop your weapon!”

Upon hearing this, the reporter finally paused and lifted his blindfold, looking to the two agents with apt bewilderment. Realizing their error, the agents lowered their weapons.

“Oh… it’s just… who is that guy?” Trigger asked, confused.

“Just a very ugly man,” Powers responded, aptly relieved over how it had, miraculously enough, not been another brain-hungry zombie. But even so, the agents succinctly nodded to each other as they began to head back to their car, their mission to dig deeper into the secrets of this odd little unknown town.

And as far as they were concerned, they weren’t going to leave until they had gotten to the bottom of it all, supernatural and extraterrestrial alike.

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