#anyways... its really bad for me recently

[sunuism]

i experienced more kindness from strangers today than people i actually know... smh

#a man saw me struggling with my shitty lighter in the wind and offered me his #which i then proceeded to also struggle with but thats just bc im an idiot #and then at the doctors office she was really nice and didnt try to talk me out of anything so that was kinda reassuring #but then i went to class and everyone continued to ignore me... #i dont think i express that i want to be left alone... like i will literally join peoples conversations if i see the opportunity #anyways... its really bad for me recently #im seeing my friend tomorrow but im not even really stoked about that #i know i wont be able to enjoy it bc i know its definetely gonna be long before we see each other again

[llitchilitchi]

sometimes I wish this site had a mute option

#litchi.txt #theres a lot of people I follow who talk a lot about the recent situations and I dont wanna break the moot or god forbid block people but. #its stuff I do not want to be involved in at all and its taking up 50% of my dash #and as someone who is largely multifandom this past year and something I wanna stay on tumblr to see the stuff from other fandoms #and also I dont want to unfollow people from em see why tee because I still love yall but one of the main reasons why Im not really active #in this community anymore is that Im just really fucking tired of the discourse and scrutiny and just overall bad stuff and shit behaviour #Im not about to go around and tell people to oh please tag all this stuff #because first and foremost the tumblr filtering is shit #my entire dash would just be Word You Filtered #but I really want to just mute a couple people for a couple days. maybe until the end of the month #all while engaging with like peeps who post primarily about the smp or about my other fandoms #(or mute people in certain tags like call me selfish but I enjoy when they engage on my posts but their posts in the main tags annoy me) #anyways sorry for this one #my dash is slowly turning into the kinda stuff that made me leave my previous fandoms and Id really hate to leave this fandom #with a sour aftertaste as I go

[always-a-joyful-note]

I think one of the most insane Re:vale things is how they somehow managed to create a compelling dynamic for both old and new Re:vale. Maybe it's because I'm in a small circle but what other fandoms can boast loving an old version and new version equally while being narratively satisfied with how the old version ended?

#its insane really #and yeah it was inspired by the recent gifs i rb #also its the genius of the writer again #making us love the dynamic between yuki and momo and then hitting us with the backstory #AND resolving it in the current arc #REALLY hit the 'change is scary and painful but not always bad and sometimes for the better' theme #idolish7 #note's notes #fandom spamdom #okay not to enstars compare but i constrast this to ex valkyrie and five eccentrics #whoch btw i know nothing about exvalk except that castle made of sand slaps so perhaps i wont compare #but theres a comparative essay somewhere there too #anyway the biggest difference to me is that the five eccentrics are my beloveds and ill always despair over them #different flavour of banyuki breakup

[deoidesign]

Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.

I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3

Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!

Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!

And the gay comics are the least I can do 🧡 thank you for reading it!

#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m #like dont get me wrong. im still tired #but it has been a WORLD of a difference. #like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep #and every night i wake up every. other. hour. #ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time #so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before. #and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!! #super bad hahaha #but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day #im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help #but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot? #so i think the combo is important #and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient #anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj #see how it goes lol #oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping #so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap #this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol #asks #jackedupjack

[zeldacd]

The princess of power 🔺

I read twice through this fancomic recently you can read here at @alternate-triforce. I really like her design. fluffy red hair is my favorite thing ever.

#loz #tloz #the legend of zelda #fanart #not my au #tis just a sketch so i apologize for anything incorrect feel free to correct me tho #I really like the concept and plot im interested to see what happens next #Its only three chapters so far but the characters and premise grab your attention quickly #Anyways barely been scratching away at my own stuff recently and im stricken by such bad art block im dissatisfied with everything #i have like 6 abandoned wips from the past 2 weeks i just needed to take a break and draw something else tbh #i hope i can regain motivation soon

[blaithnne]

You have singlehandedly convinced me to rewatch ducktales reboot

I'm so sorry

#/j LMAO #season 1 is amazing i hope u have fun #and season 2 has some grand moments #but man i have so much beef with season 3 RARGH #anyways #its really funny to me how people are rediscovering/discovering dt thru my recent art #some ppl have said they are just now being introduced to it bc of me #and honestly i feel bad for them bc i am giving off a very wrong impression LMAO #like my special intrest is the portion of the show we got for three episodes at a STRETCH #and its my obsession #yeah #ANYWAYS #i hope u have fun rewatching :D #ask #ty for the ask! #anon #ducktales

[dykesynthezoid]

The seasonal depression + major life stress to agoraphobia relapse pipeline is kicking my ass

#the adhd & demand avoidance don’t help any either #I end up wanting to avoid responsibilities out of spite and bc I’m time blind I don’t even notice how many days I’ve gone without leaving #the house #by the time you add the actual depression and anxiety and trauma I’m already struggling #it’s gotten so hard to go to shabbat services on friday nights bc it’s dark at 4:30 and the temple is in the middle of downtown #in not the safest area and there’s almost no parking #(to be clear it’s not just anxiety or fear preventing me from going. it’s hard to want to go anywhere when it’s dark and cold for normal #human reasons) #but still #i hate being in a position where I feel like I have to assume the worst of other human beings #bc that’s just. not who I am. its incongruent with who I am to walk down the street and assume people are bad and want to hurt me #that’s not a judgement I’d ever want to make lightly #even if I’ve also always been hypervigilant (it’s complicated ig) #(really feel like my nervous system has just not been able to fully stabilize for the past six weeks. it’s already such a hard time of year #for me and with recent events on top of that…) #anyway. I need to start planning ways to leave the house ig. #agoraphobia

[spamsandsuch]

In my mind i dont think swatch necessarily hates spamton but spamton does think they hate him

#spamton #spamtonposting #swatch #swatchposting #in a sense i feel like spamton just thinks everybody hates them due to its circumstances and is extremely distrustful/disdainful to others #as a result #and especially hates ppl like swatch and the adds for believing them to be fake friends #(i include swatch in this cuz of the sweepstakes q&a) #but would swatch hold the same amount of contempt for spamton? To me not really #I think its more so that swatch is just uncomfortable around spamton due to its actions #And due to swatches personality is often annoyed by spamtons actions as well #Thought that doesnt necessarily equate to swatch hating him (or in my fanon at least… though even from a canon standpoint #i feel like swatch is more so annoyed and uncomfortable with spamton rather than actively despises them) #i think in afttp they would get more on friendly terms and become acquaintances after talking through their issues together #(but who knows i might make them friends eventually too? who knows..) #my headcanons #also sorry for not posting as much lately i got a new job recently and just been dealing w/ some personal stuff #to the point where i forget i can just posts my ruminating dr thoughts (which i used to do more often and i feel a lil bad for not doing so #as much now) #anyway thats all i dont have much else to say lol

[rxskomi]

Moving to a foreign place for university isn't easy. The culture, food, environment, people, almost everything is different from what you're used to and it's quite hard to adapt. That is until you bumped into someone with big sturdy chest and greyish hair.

Bokuto was a year older than you, your senior to be exact. You two met by bumping into each other. You were staring at your timetable trying to figure out where your next class is and Bokuto happen to walk into you while talking to one of his friends. (Yes bump into his chest). That impact caused your timetable to slip from your hand and fly with the wind🍃. Bokuto saw your timetable taking flight and tried to grab it and so did you, this caused both of your hand to collide and you quickly retracted you hand upon contact in fear and embarrassment. On the other hand Bokuto was adamant on getting that timetable of yours to which he did indeed catch it and gave it back to you.

“Sorry about that, are you hurt? Oh my gosh how could I make it up to you? I’m super sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going!” Bokuto rambled on in nervousness and worry.

“I’m okay, I am not hurt…” You replied awaiting for this mysterious person to give you his name so can address him properly.

“OH! Sorry I am Bokuto, Bokuto Koutarou. I am currently in my 2nd year! Nice to meet you!” Bokuto beams in excitement.

“Ah Bokuto, I am Y/N nice to meet you. If you don’t mind can you please help me to get to my next class? It’s my first year here and I’m very lost” you asked politely. To which Bokuto straight away took your arm and held it up to see your timetable that you’re currently holding and leads the way to your next class.

“Ah yes! Professor (name)’s class! I’ll bring you there, lets go c’mon!!” Bokuto enthusiastically says and leads the way.

All this while Bokuto is still holding onto your arm whilst leading the way to your next class. Once you reached the door to your class he finally lets go.

“Here we are! Hope you enjoy Professor (name)’s class. They do a great job of teaching and if you don’t understand you can always come find me for help!” Bokuto beams with that golden smile of his and you can’t help but smile with him.

“Thanks Bokuto, I’ll find you if i have any confusion or enquiries in the future! But for me to do that I do need your phone number..” You said with an embarrassed smile.

“OF COURSE HOW COULD I FORGET” and thus Bokuto gives you his phone number and a friendship between the both of you blossoms.

#help its been sooo long since I’ve written anything #im bad at this help #im sorry for this shitty take on this #I’ve recently too moved to a foreign place for uni #I’ve cried for a whole week cause im so far away from family #sorry sorry this is bad but i really do need a Bokuto to help me too ykyk #but i live in campus and my roommates are all friendly and nice so its okay #im still adjusting ughhhh #anyways #bokuto koutaro #bokuto kōtarō #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #bokuto x reader #drabble(?)

[jamboreeartsupplies]

clown doll listings are unexpectedly abundant on mercari lmao

also i kept getting an offer for one (with the same like, maker/brand as acorn anne and fruitloop freddie) and each time it got lower and this time i just HAD to omg i HAD TO!!!!!!!!

they have no hair !!!! they have a JESTERS HAT and they are YELLOW AND PURPLE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i love clowns i am having a time. i love collecting things and these ones are like. gotta collect em all!! ahsnghdhtjd they are so CUTE ok!!!!

im so excited

#reminding myself that 'distraction' is not unhealthy coping mechanism as long as im acknowledging my feelings #i learned that recently so im trying not to feel bad or guilty #im throwing myself into clowns and furbies bc life is shit and im extremely sad and anxious about it #its personal family shit but yeah #well and then of course being chronically ill on top of it doesnt help #im still kind of figuring out this whole food allergies thing... its not fun #but im trying to make the most of it!! im trying #anyway #IM GETTING ANOTHER CLOWN AJFJSHRHSFH #personal #clown posting #not furbies #text #ok but now im mourning the orange and black clown i saw on there that i rlly want but its larger #and idk #we MIGHT be moving soon but idk for sure... dont want to hope on it #so it feels really stupid to get too many more things that i'll have to move with me haha #at least these ones are smol #very easy to carry and will prob just stay as passengers with me in the car :) #i feel so stupid for packing anne into storage #i thought she would be safer there 😭😭😭 i miss her 💔💔

[llumimoon]

👀 (any dndads au you feel like sharing, lovebird! hope you're having a wonderful day btw 💜💜💜)

Hehehehe HIII HAPPI <3 I am having a wonderful day tysm!! :D I hope you are too <3

I'm trying to think abt if I have any aus that you don't already know about BWCEUAHAHAAH and im not sure how much you know abt the most recent one I've made

OOOH I have got this one fantasy AU I haven't touched in a while but I think would be really fun to revisit sometime! <3

The idea is that there's this ancient curse that's been unleashed on the land creating this magic rot that's slowly been devouring forests, towns, and eventually maybe even whole kingdoms! The rot can overtake animals and people, warping them into dangerous mirrors of their past self, this AU's take on doodlerization. the sauce if you will <3

Taylor is a member of the royal court of the Kingdom of Hell (son of the first prince Nick) and Link is his loyal guard and bestie who keeps him from dying in their shenanigans and escapades. They have a silly goofy, I've known you my whole life and I will die to protect you bc you're the person dearest to me also ur a dumbass who's stupid as fuck, energy going on <3 friends to dumbasses to lovers <3

Normal is a regular villager who recently happened to score an apprenticeship with the castle healer! Apparently his dad knew someone in the court and managed to pull some strings, wonder what that's all about. (spoiler alert: its pretty important and he's also secretly royalty but doesn't know it)

Scary is an amateur witch <3 She saw her mom start dating the castle wizard and was like FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS STUFFY BOOKS. BET I COULD DO THAT BUT BETTER AND COOLER AND LESS NERDY. So she's been sneaking off to practice magic with rudimentary materials and a few nicked things Terry left around their cottage.

Turns out Scary has a natural talent for certain parts of magic because she accidentally stumbles upon a prophecy outlining the world's possible end unless a certain group of people go to the ruins of a lost kingdom to stop the rot. And when she finds out who those people are she's like FUUUUUCK. bc now she's gotta find a way to sneak into the castle to somehow find these losers, one of which is apparently a PRINCE !! and then they've all gotta go out and not die on an adventure or else EVERYONE'S gonna die. and like she can't be bothered but also ig it would be kind of cool to shove it in her stepdad's face that she's more awesome than him and saved the world so. off she goes!

Hermie's the second prince who is often overshadowed by his older half brother. He happens to overhear the group talk about the prophecy around the time they're preparing to leave and tags along to prove his worth to his dads and also have people pay attention for him for once goddamn !!!!! also the healer boy is kinda cute <3

Cue super fun goofy and exciting magical fantasy quest !!! Secrets are revealed! Bonds are formed! Possible corruption? MAYHAPS! Also where even ARE the ruins of the kingdom of Oakvale no one seems to have heard of it at all! All while the rot continues to spread....

#ask #happi-tree #cal rambles #dndads #hehehehe thank you so much for indulging me <3333 #i know i took a little bit to respond sorry abt that <- i tried thinking abt aus to talk abt then i fell asleep and had to do hw #you know all my big ones already n lately ive mostly been scheming w/ nyx abt aus so im hesitant to call them my own without mentioning them #so my brain blanked i was like Uh. UH. HEVEGAJAHAHAJA #there are some little fun ideas i plan on elaborating on later i think!! havent told anyone abt em yet so hehe they're some fun bonuses #angel n demon au !! link's an angel taylor's a demon #i was thinking scary could be a fallen angel its just been normal i've been stuck on LMAO #bc i've been thinking abt how fun it is with how link and taylor have p clear angel demon imagery to me #while scary and normal feel more... in between? like yin yang type not all good not all bad #thought it could be fun to play with the idea of. Scary very recently fell as an angel due to Willy's influence #versus Normal who comes from a family of fallen angels ('corrupted' by the Doodler) but is trying to redeem himself and his family as well #with a storyline playing with the concept or morality and clearly defining good and bad with angels and demons #good omens style LMAO <3 Link and Taylor as an angel and demon DO remind me of Crowley and Aziraphale #Demon who's got a little too good of a heart to be evil and an Angel who's a little too much of a bastard to be purely good #ALSO been playing around with the idea of a fae au teheheehe #anyways rhat angel demon one really got away from me LMAO #its been a passing thought these past few days but i havent thought up like an actual plot line just alignments #so i havent mentioned it #WILL GET TO THE OTHER AU ASKS BTW EJWBAHAHAH #im jusy a VERY wordy rambler so it may take some time </3 #long post #HELP almost forgot that one #me n my walls of text <3

[kohakhearts]

well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

[rabble-dabble]

remembering evil terrible pickup lines

the math has gotten considerably worse but at least the drawing is better KLDSJFAKLSDFHKAJHFK

#homestuck #john egbert #karkat vantas #johnkat #dave strider #doodleart #evil john au #evil john egbert #lord egbert #<- you do not know the lengths i had to go to grab this post #what was 2020 me THINKING?!?! #evil evil tag system. it was all over the place #this was like. evil john anon still being actually anonymous era tho so can u really blame me i had only been actually using the blog #for like a year #ive been trying to overhaul my whole tag system recently and. bestie. its so so so bad #i have over 10 thousand posts it is So Difficult to manually change them all #'rabble why are you manually changeing them all' because if i dont i will miss a post that isnt catagorized correctly #and ive already had to fix old art posts and reblogs that i didnt write 'reblog' on omg i hate it so much #anyways. heres this hjkhkHKLJHDKHFKSDH did NOT mean to vent i nthe tags

[lagtrain]

i srsly cant wait for tomorrow... i need my free pulls + colourfes

#tbh im still kindaaaaaa? debating whether or not i should pull on colofes #bc like. i want the cards!! shihoan lims *frothing at the mouth* #and on the other hand. im not quite at a spark :( im at likeeee 49k rn?? and u need 60k to spark with 10 tickets #so i dunno if ill be able to grind out like 11k crystals in the span of the banner #they are giving us the free 3900 which will be nice #and if i fc all the hard songs + ap all the stuff im missing then that shoulddddd be at least another pull #but id still need like. 7 or so thousand in event of that #which idk if i can do LOL #i might just pull anyways tho bc i dont really have any cards coming up in the near future that i NEED (i dont think anyways) #plus an & shiho are usually pretty kind to me (6 shiho 4stars including her colorfes which came home randomly) #(5 an 4stars one of which being her ny lim that came home on my last possible 10pull) #tbh im sorta kicking myself for impulsively pulling on random lim banners as much as i have (30 pulls on recent val banner) #(but i got val nene so its not all bad) #bc if i hadnt done those pulls i could defo spark #oh well ig we'll see #< sorry about the big ass paragraph this turned into i wasnt intending that 😭😭😭 #gacha game pull planning is SERIOUS

[steelycunt]

dragging myself through the waves ill be so honest with you

#i feel so sad its not like other books where often i love to be a hater...and i dont hate it by any means but its just. i dont know maybe #its too much for me. fully prepared to accept the possibility that im just too stupid. but its very beautiful in places and i do genuinely #like some of the characters but i almost feel like i like them to a point where i wish i didnt feel like there was. a bit of a barrier #between me and them which is a prose which is just. hard to get through in places for me. like really technically beautiful i can appreciat #that but also ive been reading this 200 page book for weeks and weeks because i do have to sort of force myself to pick it up. : ^ ( #anyway. yeah its been a bad year for reading so far...ive read some absolute bangers in january but ive read barely anything for like all o #feb and march bc i was so. yeah. also read slaughterhouse five recently. it was fine i liked his writing style. it was fine #reading tag #save me summer giovannis room reread save me!

[mehrunnez]

the playing disco elysium to "oh so hearing voices and feeling like you have a million different people in your head talking to you and influencing you in various ways isn't the average human experience and i actually might be psychotic" after seeing that nobody else interpreted the game's system as an insanely accurate portrayal of how conflicting and contradictory thoughts often are in Normal People pipeline

#i swear i am seeing a psychiatrist and i will talk about this im just very unnerved by how this progressed lol #ive literally been like this all my life but its gotten bad recently and honestly my interest in de diminished a little #and while i do get those hyperfixation “voices” sometimes that just kinda appear and thne disappear #this is sooooooo different and it causes me so much distress especially when ti comes to like #not feeling like i am my own person at times and sometimes acting and thinking in very uncharacteristic ways #like I kinda thought that was the norm and the worse its getting the more im starting to realise #that actually it probably isnt the norm at all #i dont think people on average experience this absolutely disorganised pattern of thinking and speaking and acting and so on #anyway i really hope im not schizophrenic i dont want to take antipsychotics pleas ple plesap lease plsease