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strabara · 23 days

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•.SHIGARAKI’S SEXTAPE.•

SUMMARY: Y/N is batshit crazy for Shigaraki that she finds him and confesses her undying love for him. And he promises to return her love only if she completes a small favor. Y/N of course blindly obliges.

Notes: I had posted this on AO3 AGESS AGOOO. But! I decided it deserved a remake. Also bc I’m making a second part soo yea :3 AGAIN as I’ve said before English isn’t my first language and it wasn’t very good 2 years ago.. so watch out for grammatical issues and terrible writing skills..

WARNINGS: NONCON, CREAMPIE, SHAMELESS SMUT, ROUGH SEX, BREEDING, CREAMPIE, FORCED PREGNANCY, NOT BETA READ, PLOT WHAT PLOT/ PORN WITHOUT PLOT, SEXTAPE, PITY SEX, HUMILIATION, OVERSTIMULATION, LOSS OF VIRGINITY

Y'know to the pro heroes the video that Shigaraki filmed of you looked fucked up. It was even more fucked up that it was being broadcasted live for everyone to see. People didn’t need to know who you were to know that you were 'Kidnapped'. After all they think you’re his hostage and you’re doing all of this against your will. But oh how they were so wrong. Right now you were seen as a barely clothed chained girl who was being forced to suck dick.

But to you this was all apart of your sick fantasy that you dreamed of! Sure it’s weird somebody even liked Shigaraki but no.. you loved him. You loved him so much that you'd do anything for him, LITERALLY. I mean here you were shamelessly rubbing circles to your clit as your face was getting fucked by Shigaraki! All they could hear was muffled moans and groans. A truly terrifying sight for anyone.

"Agh.. Look at you taking me so well.. I'll reward you with my disgusting cum you little slut."

You gurgled and sped up your pace to your clit. You moaned as you reached your peak and on cue he released his thick salty ropes into your mouth. You whine as they traveled down your throat. Panting as you hold your heavy eyes, tired from the Costant stimulation to your clit. God how this turned you on. He takes himself out of your mouth as he quickly grabs you by the neck, shoving your face into the camera.

"Open your mouth and show them how you swallowed a villians cum you Whore."

You slowly opened your mouth showing your tongue and bruised throat. You wanted to smile but couldn't since that would show you really weren't doing this against your will. Shigaraki started to laugh as he threw you to the floor making you whimper. He then grabbed you by the hair, pulling you towards him. He spreads your legs as he got inbetween them, his hard member falling onto your cunt making you flinch slightly. Almost instantly he disintegrating your panties before he put your thighs to your chest.

You were now basically naked, well except for the ripped up thigh high socks you had on. Your uniform was all ripped up and discarded to the side somewhere.

"How does it feel knowing your virginity will be stripped away from you by a villian? Not only that but I'll make you bear my children! You hear that? Your small cunts gonna be forced to swallow my villian seed!"

He smirks at you before he ran his tip along your slit, making you shudder. This made the heroes hearts drop. But only added love to yours. You couldnt believe this was actually happening!! The man you’d been in love with for who knows how long was about to take your virginity! Oh how luck was on your side.

"No p-please! I beg you! You can let me go I wont tell them anything I-I promise!"

You yelp as he slaps your pussy, grabbing and pulling at your clit. A hand went to your head before he grabbed a handful of your hair. His lips came to your ear all the while he had a smirk on his lips.

"Hmm i thought about it and how about.. No?"

And just like that he snapped his hips forward, pushing his large shaft into you with a single thrust. You choked as he stretched you out. You really were willing to do anything but the pain really did hurt. You screamed loudly all the while you threw your head back throwing weak punches to his chest. Shigaraki was quick to put a hand at your throat to shut you up.

"Hah.. Shit your sucking me in so good it’s like you want me to breed you! How dirty for a cute naive quirkless girl."

The camera catches the small streams of arousal mixed with blood trickle down your hole as it reached the floor. This was the final straw for the heroes.

"what the hell are we doing! This girl is getting Assualted and we're just going to let it happen?!"

The Lust hero, Midnight exclaimed.

"Look Midnight we can't do anything! We dont know where they are! And people wont let us search without creating a jam. I get it I want to help too but there’s nothing we can do.!"

You continued to moan and yelp as he reached into the deepest parts of you not caring about the people who were listening or watching. After a while the pain had subsided and turned into pleasure.

"P-please s' too much!~"

You moan loudly while his tip assualted your cervix every thrust he gave.

"Aw maybe i'll be nice if you’re a good girl and tell me you’re my cocksleeve."

You squeak as he gripped your hips tighter, almost as if he was promising he would leave bruises.

"N-no i don't want to be anything to you just let me gah!~"

You stop as he bites your body leaving love marks everywhere as he showed you’re HIS property. Shaking your head he licks up your neck until reaching your parted lips. Being quick to thrust his tongue in. Your mouth leaking with saliva while he dominated your mouth. He stops before he licking his lips, watching you gasp for air as your mouth quivered.

"Cmon say it, you’re my cocksleeve and you’re a slut that loves villian cock. Theres no way anyone else will want you. After all you’re being used up by a big bad villian!"

This Sickening Fantasy of yours was a dream come true!

"I-I’m your cocksleeve!~ and a slut who loves villian C-cock!~"

This was probably humiliating for others but it turned you on so much more. You shamelessly wrapped your arms around his neck while wheezing.

"Hey wait a minute.. You just got tighter! Ha that turned you on huh? How dirty of you."

You just continued to cry and whimper as you turned you head away, but that shortly changed when he started to hit your G spot. You yelp loudly before your arms left his neck, putting them on his abdomen to push him away.

"Whats wrong huh? Need to cum?"

You squeal as he rubbed your sensitive clit, making your toes curl and eyes roll back.

"A-ah no! I dont wanna cum!"

Your orgasm was approaching fast as he continued to hit your G spot all the while he teased your clit.

"Ha! What a treat! Cmon cum on this villian cock! I wanna hear how someone disgusting like me makes a good little civilian feel."

His hips rocked back and forth as your body bounced. He took this time to suck your nipples, bringing you over the edge you were so eagerly trying to get to.

"A-agh I’m cumming!~"

Unexpectedly you squirted all over him coating his cock and balls with your juices. He lets out a creepy laugh before gripping your jaw to look at him.

"Wow you’re disgusting! You said you didnt like me ya big perv! Well here’s my treat for you so make sure to swallow every bit of it! You'll look so pretty pregnant! Agh you'll be forced to be burdened with MY kids it’s just amazing!"

The overstimulation was bringing tears to your eyes as you shook your head no.

"No please pull out I dont wanna get pregnant!~"

His hips slammed into you fast at an animalistic speed as you continued to bounce. Your moans cracking from all the screaming, cheeks wet with tears and saliva. He roughly kisses you to shut you up as you felt a second release coming. Finally he slammed into you one last time releasing his sperm into your cervix. You moan into the sloppy kiss as your second orgasm ripped through you, making you to squirt again.

 "Wow i must have really made you feel good, Not only that you squirted again, truly amazing guess quirkless people can make up for it huh."

You heavily breathed while letting out small whimpers. He started to cackle as he put the camera to your ahegao like face, along with pulling out of you to watch his cum ooze out slowly.

"Oops let’s just push that back in yeah?"

You whine as his finger pushes into

your sensitive cunt, plugging his cum inside. The pro heroes felt guilt in their hearts, they failed to protect a civilian. You on the other hand were fucked dumb. All you could think about was how good he made you feel, how full you felt. You let out a shaky breath as you pull your pussy apart. Allowing your hole to glisten from the camera's light.

"I-I’m yours only, P-please Mr. Shigaraki… use me to your h-hearts content."

You manage to slip out with tired heart eyes and a subtle grin. His smile just widens before he thrusted back inside you, making you moan softly.

"Of course how could I refuse such an offer?"

Multiple citizens were left traumatized, but this didnt stop many from being determined to find you. Although there were some people who were really weird about it. I mean somebody broke into the news station and stole the video!! They literally uploaded everywhere. Top trending video for awhile weirdly. Lots of people watched it they called it 'Shigaraki's sextape' it was super long, nearly 7 hours.

The search continued and continued which bugged the shit out of you! After all you were the one stalking Shigaraki and you were the one who told him about your crazy obsession, how you were in love with him, how you'd do anything he asked of you!.. Even if it would ruin your image. Couple of months had went by and you were now 5 months pregnant with triplets! Oh how happy you were. You found out that you were having 2 boys and a girl.

"Oh! Y/N look what I got you! Its perfect for your triplets so you can try to put them to sleep at the same time!"

You open the gift to find a small box it had a voice box so you were assuming it was to record your voice. With a smile you turned to the radio hero.

"Thank you Mr. Mic I appreciate this gift!"

Yea... about that, part of Shigaraki's plan was for you to get found so if he and his future league ever did need shelter they could stay in your apartment. But, you didnt get an apartment. Instead you got a huge ass house gifted to you from the pro heroes! After all they were filled with guilt that they couldnt save you from the so called 'Trauma' you experienced, or the fact you’re forced to have kids you 'don’t' want. And lets not even talk about how they found you and the state you were in, it was... something.

"Alright who's gift is this? There's no name."

"Dont know probably a gift sent from a random person."

Alot of the random gifts people sent were… questionable to say the least. Its also a bit unsettling that some people would comment on your instagram with the link to the video saying they 'wished it was them he did it to'. You won’t lie now you always click the link so you could watch him and in the end you always masturbate to it. You sigh, slowly ripping the wrapping paper to find a small box that looked shabby and old filled with bibs, onesies and a small envelope. You s slowly open the envelope to find a scratchy like note that read 'I love you, so you better make sure that my kids are well taken care of or else you'll regret it.' Wait.. Shigaraki spent his valuable time to send you gifts AND he told you he loved you!?

The Tomura Shigaraki wasted his precious breath on someone weird like you?! Kicking your feet you squeal and hold the note to your chest. You blush as you look up to the pro heroes surrounding you.

"What is it Y/n? A love letter? "

The pro heroes start to laugh as you giggle.

"No.. Its just... "

"Shigaraki truly does love me!.."

Notes: OKAYY so I did change some pieces here and there uhh sorry if there’s still mistakes I’m fucking blind. Hope you enjoyed! I’m currently working on part 2 now!

#shigaraki x reader #bnha #shigaraki tomura #tomura shiragaki #tomura shigiraki x reader #my hero academia #idk how to tag this #i’m going insane #happy late birthday #tenko shimura #my hero acedamia #mha smut #mha shigaraki #first post #new to tumblr #ao3 writer

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fallenangelkitten · 9 months

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Synopsis: Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto are desperate to have you between them ;)

Warnings: 18+, threesome, double penetration, choking/breath play, light punishment, size kink, mfm, cream pie, spitting/swallowing

Notes: I reworked one of my Henry Cavill fics to fit these two bc GOOD LORD. It was a must. Enjoy 🤍🖤🤍 i know my account is dedicated to Henry but again I COULDNT HELP MYSELF

Satoru’s finger tips dug into my hips as he helped me sink down onto his cock. Even with the head slick with precum and my own arousal dripping onto him, it wasn’t easy. He was massive. I couldn’t help the whimpers that fell from my lips as I took him inch by inch, the stretch burning blissfully.

“That’s it, sweetheart. I love watching you take me,” he praised. The muscles under my hands twitched as I finally met the hilt, a sigh leaving him. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes, Toru,” I whispered, rocking against him.

A warm hand pet my head, caressing down to my shoulders. Pressure slowly pushed me down to where my breasts pressed against Satoru’s chest. A quick slap was placed on my bum before I felt a cool liquid being rubbed against me.

“Relax, baby. We’re going to take care of our girl,” Suguru soothed, gently working his thumb into the pleated ring of tight muscle right above where Satoru filled me.

Satoru remained still inside of me while Suguru took his time prepping me, moving in and out at an antagonizing pace. I was panting, dripping onto Toru’s lap- desperately needing to move my hips, but his hands held me in place.

“P-Please,” I wined. “I’m ready. I’m ready, please!”

I couldn’t see Suguru but I knew amusement covered his face as he and Satoru locked eyes. A smirk lifted Toru's lips as he brought two of his large fingers to my mouth. “Suck, sweetheart. We may be the strongest, but we can’t do all the work, now can we?”

I was happy to. Just as I ran my tongue on the underside of his fingers, I felt the head of Suguru’s cock meet my little hole. He pushed into me slowly but steadily, making me moan against Satoru’s fingers and buck against the both of them. My eyes rolled back into my head.

I was so unbelievably full.

Suguru’s large hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me up so that my back arched and my hips lifted. Satoru’s fingers left my mouth with a pop. I looked down to him as much as I could, the pressure of Suguru’s hand letting in just the right amount of oxygen.

“You’re going to let us use you, understand? We’re going to fuck you. But you are to stay just like this,” Satoru explained, thrusting up into me. I mewled, desperate for them to take me. A sharp sting hit my clit. Satoru had slapped it. “I asked if you understood, (y/n).”

He knew damn well I couldn’t really speak with the pressure against my throat; his bright blue eyes let me know as much. But I croaked out as best as I could, “Y-Yes, Gojo.”

“Gojo now, is it? That’s funny, isn’t it Geto?”

Suguru chuckled and gave my throat a tight but quick squeez. “You talk too much Satoru. Let’s see if you can be a good girl, yeah, (y/l/n)?”

They finally finally began moving inside of me. They moved in tandem. Everytime Suguru pushed into me from behind, Toru pulled out from below. It was overwhelming in the best of ways, causing my body to shake, my pussy convulsing and ass squeezing around each of them. My clit throbbed.

I needed to cum. Immediately. I would have done anything for that release. The moment Suguru’s other hand wrapped around to pinch my nipple and Satoru pressed his thumb to my clit, I was lost. Completely gone.

I was unaware of the noises I made, the way my face conformed to the pleasure they gave me. As my head fell back, Suguru shifted his hand up to my jaw. He squeezed until it opened for him.

“Swallow like I know you can, baby.”

I opened further, sticking out my tongue as his spit landed on it. I happily swallowed, humming as I came down from the high of my orgasm. His hand returned to my throat, causing me to slightly choke on my own breath.

Satoru’s thumb continued to rub against my clit, already causing me to pant again as both of their paces picked up. “Look at you. You truly take us so well,” Toru praised, his voice rough with his own pleasure.

Satoru found his release first, releasing his cum into me, groaning as his brow furrowed and his head fell back, white hair slaying across the pillow. I twitched in their palms, finding another deep release of my own. The grip on my neck was loosened as I was roughly pushed onto Satoru’s chest, my hair quickly wrapped into Suguru’s fist.

Toru held my eyes with his, stunning me, stroking my cheek and lips as Suguru used me relentlessly, chasing his own high. It was just on the verge of being too much, just barely. But it wasn’t. I was happy to be used by them.

Suguru stilled behind me, growling as his hot cum filled me, his thrusts slowing and gentling. They both pulled out of me, helping me lay onto my back. I was so unbelievably spent, bliss filling my mind and body.

Two fingers gently gathered the cum leaking from me. I opened my eyes as best as I could, seeing Satoru above me. Suguru sat next to me, stroking my hair. “Part those beautiful lips, sweetheart.”

I stuck my tongue out for him, loving the way the mixture of their cum tasted as I swallowed.

#satoru gojo smut #suguru geto smut #suguru #satoru #sugusato #suguru smut #satoru smut #satoru x suguru #satoru x suguru x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #satoru gojo fanfic #suguru geto #satoru gojo #jjk satoru #jjk suguru

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ganondoodle · 8 months

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as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #old man yells at cloud #i know im repeating myself in alot of points #but some things just wont stop rotating in my head #ngl i felt like nintendy was trying to gaslight me in totk #what noooo the shrine of life was ALWAYS just a barren cave with a puddle of water in it #noooo dumsda (hundson) NEVER had a funny quirk of how he talks #nooooo purah NEVER cared about shiekah tech or that stone she used to have in her lab in hateno #noooooo robelo NEVER cared about the shiekah oven he named cherry #nooooo yuno was never not dumb like a rock and ridiculed by the narrative worse than koga #noooo yuno never had inheretited an ability unique to daruk #nooooooo zelda never had any character besides like white dress waifu #nooooooo the dekutree never actually played a central role #nooooo there never was any shikeah tech #noooooo there never were any champions we were actualyl friends with #why is this series so damn allergic to moving the world or characters forward #you literalyl showed us that zelda companion is doable #you made 5 fram rate killing ghosts that are more useless than useful in any fight but noooo cant do zelda #she gotta be the little maiden uwu #you could have shown us the past without sendign zelda back #you could have revealed the sonau without erasing the shiekah #you had such a good setup from botw #and isntead chose to focus 3 years on being able to glue a stick to a stick in a game that isnt about glue or building

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evelili · 3 months

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hii, i read your the twilight effect + your write-up afterwards. its definitely something i will be thinking about for a while. i love your twilight so much.. i do not normally read fan fiction or really much of anything at all, so im not too good at like complimenting writing and the sort.. i really loved the fluttershy chapter/trial and also found their interactions during the festival really adorable. and fluttershy + rarity on the bleachers with twilight at the beginning was also so cute. the entire epilogue was so wonderful to me, i loved seeing their relationships after the incident. theyre all so cute and best friends. i also loved the progression throughout their senior year. like idk, something about twilight having a rough hs experience but a great and friend filled senior year.. she deserves it soo much. and she had some tough moments but she overcame them.. love it. well i apologize for the rambling. i couldnt read something that wonderful and not say some words of appreciation.. essentially thank you so much for writing TTE and being willing to share it with everyone..!!!

waaaaa im so happy to hear this!! u have no idea how emotional it is for me to open my inbox and find such a nice message, thank u so much for taking the time to lmk how u feel ;v; dont worry about being "good" at compliments, this is so wonderful for me to read, thank u sincerely for it

and yes!! the epilogue ended up as long as an act by itself, but i think it was necessary for the type of story i wanted to tell ;v; bc, my own highschool experiences shaped a lot of what i wanted to express w this story, and perhaps its a little bit of a love letter to my high school self that hey, you will make it! it will be ok!! that type of feeling, it's what i wanted to convey, so im so very glad that it was able to come across

im very glad you liked the rarishy stuff too, their friendship is so underrated and so super important to me. i wish my hand were a bit more functional that i could draw you something nicer, but please accept this doodle of them regardless ^^ and ty so very very very much again for reading!!

#tte #mlp fanfic #my art #rarity #fluttershy #u have no idea how perfectly timed this was btw #i have spent my last week doing a Thing for TTE #this story is now On My Mind Constantly fjkdfjskdfj im so happy u can like it too

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 6 months

Note

hey ari!!! hope ur doing super well <33 i dropped by to ask u a few things…….

let me know whenever u find the time to read my gojo fic… i made a few revisions over time and i’d rlly love to hear ur thoughts o valued gojo lover ;; its become very important to me , but no pressure :33

AND. need ur most brainrotting thoughts about sashishu por favor. for. research. yeah… research 🙇‍♂️

riko !!!! i hope ur doing super super well urself, im doing just fine <33 trying to finish this fic im writing so i can (hopefully) post it today pshjdh BUT its going good so far !!

i know i alr said it but !! i am so so excited to read ur gojo fic !! if i dont have time today then i will tmrw 🙏🙏 cant wait to rb it w a huge rant i took a lil peek at it n i can already tell its gonna be so good….

AND RIKO. tysm i appreciate u like no other, ive been waiting for a chance to rant abt my Absolute Beloveds……… this might get long im sorry but sashisu make me. genuinely insane

OK SO. just generally speaking…… to me, the biggest sashisu appeal is just. how grounded they are. to me. i feel like both jjk trios are very realistic but in different ways!!

like. the 2018 trio are just !! good friends and they care for each other and they have fun together. AND most importantly; they can be open w each other !! like all three of them are a lillll closed off and obviously traumatized but they can still be sincere with one another. yuji talks openly w both megumi and nobara, megumi’s whole arc revolves around him getting comfortable with the idea of leaning on others and being saved by others, and nobara’s whole character hinges on her just being unabashedly herself.

AND I LOVE THEM i really do but sashisu r just so….. different and also similar and they feel so real to me even though theyre all insane in the head.

because contrary to the 2018 trio, theyre all sort of. Cunts pshjdhd. LIKE. high school satoru is a brat and he thinks he can make friends by being a bully and hes kind despite that but hes also sooo infuriating, and suguru acts like hes better but hes rly not. theyre both assholes. same w shoko!! shes literally out here casually underage smoking and all three of them get in trouble n then blame it on each other n its just…. theyre just so fun. they bully each other but u can TELL theres love there.

and the greatest difference between the 2018 and 2006trio is that the former can be open with each other, but the latter cant. sashisu are doomed as a trio because theyre all so closed off and traumatized and repressed and they will never be as sincere with each other as yuji/megumi/nobara are.

and to me, thats the main reason why suguru defects !! not that its their fault, but the fact that they didnt notice — or maybe the fact that they DID notice but didnt know how to broach the subject — is the one factor that makes his defection almost unavoidable to me. because his best friends, his most loved people, were never the type to be vulnerable like that. and neither was he !!

theyre just so DOOMED riko….. suguru couldnt open his heart to satoru or shoko, satoru didnt notice suguru’s silence bc he was too busy making himself strong enough to protect them, and we dont know how shoko felt but she obviously didnt do anything even if she did notice smth was off. neither of them saw how much suguru was suffering, and suguru was extremely depressed and isolated and never once gave them the chance to help him.

the three of them just werent the type to have heartfelt conversations in the same way the other trio does, and i think sashisu just… figured they didnt need to. that they had that bond together and that it would always be enough. bc all three of them have these incredible powers that make them isolated and kind of miserable, but they were able to be kids only when they were together. during that one year, they got to feel that slice of normalcy and genuine friendship.

and then they lost it !! and shoko and satoru both regret it !!! and they were never able to hate suguru, and he was never able to hate them, even at the very end !!! and the thing that always breaks me is that its just so, so evident that they all loved each other. but it wasnt enough !! and i think thats such a …. grounded and real depiction of how it can be to love someone who’s ill, or traumatized, while you yourself are ill or traumatized. and you might love each other, and it might still not be enough. but the fact that the love was there still matters.

they were three child soldiers who only found comfort in each other, and they all crumbled under the weight of the world but even at the very end they still loved each other.

and for sashisu, that love never disappeared — both shoko and satoru became more responsible after suguru left, and together theyre able to protect so many of the students and their coworkers. and theyre still traumatized and arguably even MORE repressed but the two of them still stick together, and theres a comfort in knowing theyll always have that. (im ignoring the current manga arc its not canon to me idc)

THIS IS ALREADY SO LOONNGG i just. i ADORE them. theyre so good. but !! if we’re moving past just general analysis of them then !! i love to think abt…. sashisu x reader……. maybe one day ill finish my sss x reader series psjdjdj but !!!

i just think itd be such a fun n comfortable dynamic ?? bc they all complete each other in a way…. satoru is just kinda hyper n cuddly n sweet, n suguru is calm and teasing n warm…. and shoko is so chill but also so caring and . i Need them. all of them r so gorgeous i would fall to my knees and cry if i just saw them relaxing by the couch.

i feel like a reader dynamic w them would just be the four of u living together and spending the rest of ur lives doing the same things u did in high school….. going to karaoke n getting in trouble and eating food . etc etc. maybe getting a couple cats…. and a bunch of plants that would all die if it werent for suguru pshjdjs.

in conclusion they make me feel ill <3

(also riko…. pls read the pink lighter by nosferatui, its a sashisu fix-it time travel fic and its one of my favorites ever !! i still havent finished it but its complete and it genuinely changed my life the writing is so good it hurts)

#in my defense u brought this rant on urself riko………#hhhhhh they mean sm to meeeee #i rly hope akutami can squeeze out just one more tender sashisu moment….. for me specifically……..#if u have any sashisu thoughts i would loovveee to hear them riko !!! or anyone else for that matter !!!!! they r my specialest lil guys #sashisu #ask tag ✩

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magnoliamyrrh · 10 months

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i find the whole conversation around self-dxing to be interesting too because while self-dxing can indeed be dangerous and bad, on the other hand i am also quite anti-psychiatry, if youve got something youve obviously got it without a diagnosis, and getting a diagnosis can be hard af

like idk i think way too many ppl push this "go get therapy go get professional help and evaluation!!!" thing all the time. as if many therapists and psychs arent stupid af, as if they cant be wrong, as if they cant further traumatize someone, as if they can't be smart and kind ppl but Still get things wrong. and as if the entire psych system for the most part isnt fucked in manyyy ways...... like... yea, if you can and find a good one go i guess depending on circumstance... but you better take everything they say with a grain of salt too, wtf

.... yes teenagers and in general young ppl self diagnoing themselves with 2000 things is harmful. they may be doing it either for attention, because its cool and trendy, bc theyve actually got histrionic or mauchausens, bc theyre pathologizing normal human reactions, or bc theyve not done enough actual research and went off of articles which explain things in such a way that frankly most humans would relate. or they may confuse disorders among each other, or they may not be pragmatic enough abt it. yes this is a huge issue. weve got 20000 teenagers and young adults and even some adults running around saying theyve got turrets or did or autism or bpd or ocd or whatever the hell is trendy. psych wards for symptoms and conditions (which are themselves often imperfect) have been watered down to an extreme and are thrown around. therapy talk is being used to make excuses for behavior which should not be excused

...... at the same time. yea self diagnosis isnt inherently harmful all the time. the ppl who say otherwise and are 2000% certain only docs can tell u shit arent skeptical enough of docs. with some things its obvious. i didnt need any doctor to tell me i had anorexia nervosa or bulimia lmaoooo that shit was obvious and clear as day. i didnt need to be told i had bpd, i caught on at a young age i had it, and bc i neither could go to therapy nor wanted to, i spend years understanding that disorder on every which side and way and recovering from it myself. it saved my life. i dont even wanna know how bad things would have been if i didnt accept i had that and understood it - and yea, i didnt need no doctor to tell me to know. and low and behold, docs agree i used to have bpd, still hsve some symptoms, but have mostly recovered from it. funnily enough i caught onto having some sort of osdd/did years ago, than denied it completely to myself for years, than i couldnt ignore it and deny it anymore. ended up getting a diagnosis for that too. :/ i figured i had adhd for years on end but docs either thought it was something else or i wouldn't bring it up much. low and behold i have a diagnosis and the high doses of adhd meds i can handle without feeling st all "drugged out" are proof that i do actually have adhd

if anything lmaoo i have personal experience with having a crazy psych. a woman who mistook cptsd&osdd/did for bipolar disorder, gave me drugs literally illegally which ate at my body and told me not to tell anyone, and also yelled at me that i was crazy. had a therapist who thinks being molested makes ppl homosexual and that step-parent sexual attraction is normal on some level.....;;;; like;;;;;;..... yea. the psychs and therapists arent some sort of final say people. they can be crazy and they can be wrong

and the idea that Inherently someone with bpd, or did/osdd or whatever else Cant Know of their disorder before being told (tho the latter was actually suggested to me many yrs ago by someone) is just. wrong and harmful frankly. yea in some cases pls dont know, or theyre in extreme denial (like with anorexia). but not with all. not with all. 👀 my psychs found it surprising how self aware i was, impressive, but they did not think this was some sort of disqualification

idk. yea. like. theres definetely issues around self-dex especially in the hell were living today but acting like its Always Inherently Bad and Will Never Help and docs are some sort of authority who are the only ones with some say... ,,,, yeaaaa. no. that's also dangerous

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idealspawn · 9 months

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tbh now that i think of it i kind of needed him not for himself but for myself too. so that is fucked up a bit maybe from my side too. like that i needed someone secure enough to kind of mm trust them and be truly honest and transparent and loving and giving but not because i so very much loved them and wanted to give TO THEM but to see if i can trust myself to let myself be giving. if that makes sense. to let myself try be securely attached. but not necessarily because im madly in love. but like train my vulnerability. he said he read my poem and it was nice, cheesy at times but with good parallels and metaphores. i explained one part to him more in detail too bc it was pretty open to interpretation. he said he will write it down but i dont think he will. but it also feels so cringe because he was meant to read it when he still had feelings for me. also a good um.. stepping stone for me i guess. to admit i have feelings for someone still when they dont, although im acc not too sure myself how much i was truly madly attached either. feels good to swallow my pride though. i also tend to lose feelings when ppl arent attracted to me which is good. i dont have a problem w chasing him. im attracted to ppl being attracted to me which in a way, from me, is also a bit fucked up. he also didnt become a part of my real immediate daily routine as i didnt really text w him too much. we just were together irl a lot and really present in those times. and i also made sure i didnt abandon my friends this time so i still massively have my support system w me. but it sucks a bit bc i literally talked abt him to so many of my friends but its okay like i dont owe anyone anything to last just bc i talked abt it. and shit changes. just bc i said sth true in one moment doesnt mean i has to stay true forever or that now that it isnt true anymore that it couldnt have been immensely true at one point. one thing that was pretty fucked up tho is that he told me he wanted to have sex w me just bc he was looking for certainty and answers abt his feelings from there not bc he acc felt connected to me. like i usually.. want to be intimate when i feel love not disconnect..... and now he said he didnt find it from there. but like.. we were literally both so high and it was such a bad situation. no wonder you cant feel a spark bc i was literally numb like a vegetable. he said he knows it was a bad decision but like why do you take this situation to tell you clues abt what next then. and like. the same way with all our previous hangouts when i felt sth off. like the reason it was off was bc he was off and not fully honest abt it. it felt like such a relief when he said all the words out so rawly at last and i felt i could come out of this weird anxious shell of a performance i had on w him the past few times bc of the way i felt sth was weird but i couldnt tell what it was so i couldnt fully be normal myself either. so like the last times he gave me "chances" couldnt have been proper chances to show him anything true bc it didnt feel like... normal. there was an elephant in the room that was standing right between us. but he refused to address it when i tried to. i guess i got my answer that its not that im weird that i keep getting into these awk situations but that the other person feels weird and that is the thing affecting me. im fucking normal. i cried a bit too like its not that i am not affected by it at all but i think im kind of fine. i anyway didnt see him for 2 weeks now. its just weird bc we had plans which made us be together daily for like 2 weeks straight and um. i dont know if i can do that. even if we are friends bc i dont usually do that w my friends really. its weird. but like. fuck idk.

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homosociallyyours · 2 years

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megan i really need to say this to someone who will Get It lol i have cfs and i'm in so much pain bc of this. my family went out for mother's day lunch today and they messed up our booking, they gave us a table for 8 when we needed 9 (annoyingly it looked like they had already put extra chairs on this table to make it 8 so we couldnt just add another). and to fix it they pushed 2 high tables together which had those bar-stool-like chairs. and i knew i couldnt sit there for hours. like there's 0 support, i have to have my feet angled on the bar and it just generally felt like i was standing but in an awkward position. i was so close to saying something and mum asked if we could have this comfy looking spot (had like a long cushioned bench against a wall) but the lady said no sorry we have another group coming in and one of the ladies has a broken leg. which. is fair. poor lady. but so i didnt say anything bc what was i going to say? sorry i know i look fine but due to complicated reasons if i sit in this chair it's going to fuck me up for a while. like how do you explain to someone you cant sit in a type of chair when they just mentioned someone w a broken leg lol. SO i suffered and now i'm not only emotionally/socially exhausted, i cant even rest properly because my knees ache, my back feels so tense from holding myself up, i've got a massive headache and for some reason my elbows/forearms decided they wanted to be in pain too. i'm just. so annoyed at all these cafe/restaurants that like to go for cute/quirky mismatched seating areas. like yeah your place looks nice and aesthetic but surely there was a way to do it while also still being accessible. also the food wasnt even that good :(

Oh nonny. I FEEL YOU. So much!!

Even before I got sick as a fat person cutesy seating options bugged me, but now it's definitely harder to manage bc YES some chairs are just. Active. WHY??

I hope you find something to manage the pain and that you're able to rest physically and mentally/emotionally/socially too!!

Also I gotta say-- how much does it suck to basically have ONE place that might be accessible for someone with a broken bone or difficulty maneuvering their feet/legs?!? 😤😤😤

Ridiculous!

#i always prefer a booth if possible so i can actually have room to sit #(i think this is also related to having broken a chair before tbh)#but tall seats where my feet can't touch the ground? the WORST.#thank you for sending this-- hope venting helped #and once again i hope you get some comfort and rest!!#chronic fatigue #chronic illness

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ghooostbaby · 14 days

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i'm giving up on the last math quiz ugh …

i feel emotional about it. its so frustrating to have spent a few hours on this in the morning to get 0 on the quiz but there's simply not enough time for everything and pushing myself even a little is making the concussion symptoms come back and i just physically can't…

its like… the expectations for getting a high grade are just not physically possible, its so frustrating to know i have the will to work hard but the demands are impossible literally physically and its not worth my health collapsing. i'm having weekly migraines which is very unusual for me, i have blurred vision most days and today i was getting fully dizzy. (i had a mild concussion a few months ago) oh and intermittent but mild abdominal pain for the past few weeks... but it still hard to accept i need to let some marks go…

i've had to slow down and take time to rest more, my focus is harder to maintain so i get less done in a day than i would 2 months ago… but also feel disappointed that i couldnt manage to keep it up at the high level to get good marks. idk probably internalized some idea that i have to be perfect or i'm doomed and its good to choose my physical well being over approval of some faceless bureaucracy but i still feel … bitter, disappointed in myself maybe

it doesnt feel like the courses test what i've learned, more like they're testing how much spare time i have. which is not a lot bc i have a job

if i had more time it would have all been possible, and that feels cruel. whats the point of testing students that way? does it show anything about what i've learned or what i can do?

i feel like i made a bad choice trying to do my best with everything so i gave so much for all these little tests and projects and now it is the final exam and i have nothing left, all i can do is try to keep my body from splintering. i wanted to do well, but i guess i would always fall short in something, and since i fought so hard to do well all semester there's no space left when i need it for the final exams.

#sad mad school thoughts

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borom1r · 1 year

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I wlllld just like to hear whatever you want to talk abt regarding lizard! like a fun fact, an aspect of his design you're super passionate abt, stuff like that! as for lawyers: favourite miles moment so far & maybe (if yr feeling up to it) how you see phoenix & miles getting together!! (I'm abt to be high too in like an hour I have edibles bfjejehr I hope you're having fun!!! you can save this ask for later if you want also)

BESTIE i get. drinks from the local vape shop and theyre usually rlly good (the purple lemonade had a weird grassy flavor and i mean duh but it was REALLY noticeable but otherwise. gr8 luck) but the uh. the major problem is they dont have consistent stock EXCEPT the purple lemonade. so i uh. like last time was a super mellow chill high and today was. waaaaaaaaaaaayy more than i was banking on. fully zonked.

ANYWAYS. LIZARD. obvs hes a juggalo (miracles came on shuffle and im so. yea the world IS fuckin beautiful thank u violent j and shaggy 2 dope) uhhh fun facts! his face paint is actually that. face paint. you uh. think abt trying to use greasepaint on fur lol. he is also ACTIVELY DECAYING. for the most part hes holding up alright and nothing would really kill him. he's Undead. but he just. doesnt heal anymore.his eye is scarred bc he was missing it before he died but what his fur conceals is the fact that his arm is just. fully a fresh wound. 2 skin flaps stitched over what boils down to a mushy scab. he literally only stitched it up bc he was Sick of Bleeding everywhere. it's gross. hes gross.

aspect of his design im passionate abt— his CLOTHES!!!!! ofc for his design i used a base but the clothes were modified + ofc colored by me :3 his hoodie is based off this one + his shirt is Also a real shirt!! also ofc his facepaint. idk if i ever posted the mockup of it so here:

anyways like i think i said earlier he'd be more likely to rep Yum Yum Bedlam bc she represents punishment for corrupt desires and he was a lot lizard (which is the reason for his name— he chose it after he died and figured he needed sth a lil more... fitting for a an undead juggalo werewolf lmfao). but on the flip side, he'd be more likely to be judged by Fred Fury since while he was alive he would just roll with the punches and didn't ever really make a stand for himself or fight back. he was much better at laughing things off even if it wasnt sth he really.. should've.

+ NOW. LAWYER TIME~~

favorite Miles momentttttttt

HIS CONSTIPATED LIL SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHGH!!!!! BESTIE IM WRAPPING HIM UP IN A TOWEL LIKE AN UNRULY KITTEN AND TORMENTING HIM WITH AFFECTION. SUFFER. IM MAKING HIM TEA AND LETTING HIM INFODUMP ABT STEEL SAMURAI AND LAW SHIT.

yeeeeeaaaa im feeling up to or at least im on the edge of being super paranoid sooo im just gonna answer lolol. ANYWAYZ.

like weve been talking abt in dms at the start we r dealing with. Miles "so unused to expressing genuine emotion that if i say anything remotely affectionate i will experience all 5 stages of grief simultaneously + flee" Edgeworth and Phoenix "shockingly oblivious for being a defense attorney/investigator, also with the like. worst sense of humor" Wright. Phoenix would need it spelled out to him like like yr teaching a baby how to spell "cat." and alternatively you couldnt pry Miles' real feelings from his cold dead lips. feelings r messy and imperfect after all. it gets so bad Maya starts googling "how to introduce cats to each other" half-jokingly bc between Miles' need for emotional exposure therapy and Nick being. Nick. she's gonna HAVE to coordinate their meal times and slowly let them get used to spending time in the same space for them to ever get anywhere.

part of me is like. Maya HAS to help in some capacity n i think at bare minimum shes EXCELLENT council for Phoenix when he bolts upright at 3am one morning when it hits his unconscious mind like a ton of bricks that the reason hes been having shoujo anime intro ass dreams abt Miles for months is bc he MIGHT be gay. big of heart dumb of ass. YET. on the other hand. 3-Hour Steel Samurai Lore Deep Dive (she nd Miles would be BESTIES. she slow-blinks at him enough to develop a bond. they need to hang out more. HE PAYS HER BAIL!!!!!! mission critical that they drive Phoenix insane Together)

yet at the same time. n what i think is so sweet, is that it just. happens. frustrating 4 everyone that for like. a whole entire fuckin year u could find Phoenix bringing Edgeworth tea, sitting w/ their knees touch while they discuss notes, Phoenix playing w/ Miles' fingers or hair, Miles asleep on Phoenix's shoulder after a long day— and if anyone asks if they’re dating they’ll get a very cheerful "nope haha ^_^" from Phoenix and maybe just a little huff from Miles so LIKE. Phoenix slowly and gently dismantles Miles' walls and could be sitting there holding his hand staring dreamily at him while Miles flips through a book w/ his free hand and inside Phoenix' head is just MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー 10 Hour Loop until again, bolt upright in bed sweating bullets speed dialing Maya's number to as her if she thinks hes gay.

so by the time they label anything Miles already has a toothbrush in Phoenix's apartment and has FORCED him to at LEAST buy a 2+1 shampoo/conditioner with a Separate body wash. please Phoenix he is BEGGING. and then they're dating. and Miles realizes the thing Phoenix has been saying when he does things like. buy a bathroom organizer and everything he needs for his Exact skincare routine as a surprise for when Miles spends the night next time is "i love you" and that he must've loved Miles for a very, very long time even if they are both Oh So Dense (extremely affectionate)

#ask #BESTIE THANK UUUUUUUUUUUUU #phoenix fully like. oh lemme memorize all these external facts which may or may not be useful bc Ya Never Know! for use later #but spend absolutely zero fucking time considering Myself #love is knowing Exactly which textures make Miles feel Gross and buying a special pillowcase.#love is Miles burying his nose against Phoenix' neck even though hes still not at a place where he regularly initiates touch

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autistic-shaiapouf · 3 years

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I walk past the theater kids at a table yelling lyrics from the musical they're all in but I do so with caution knowing full well that, in a different timeline, I would also be at the table

#i have the perfect theater kid build and it hurt when i realized that oh no #i didnt do drama or anything in high school bc my schedule was garbage and i literally couldnt do clubs #i couldnt get there for morning classes so i was trapped in the library for virtual classes in the afternoon after my friends went home #i was however in the school orchestra (it sucked)#i was in my college chamber group for 3 semesters too but not this one U_U #1st one i played with a broken bow; 2nd one was all through zoom; 3rd got canceled #mozart through zoom... at least i had a new bow.. it was actually a song i enjoyed too #and it wouldve made my ''played violin for 5 years and has nothing to show for it'' ass very happy bc it was mostly 8ths and 16ths #so i didnt need technique i shouldve learned but was never taught 🙄 but w/e. what was i talking about #i mean i know a film student who's also in the musical and ngl i DID think of trying out but saw that you had to actually be #GOOD at singing lmao; they dress rehearse for like 5 hours at a time too and i literally dont have that kind of social endurance #i feel like i could be good at it but (shrug emoji) i just stand here and try to make pretty noises #you know. when i pick my violin up.. its been at least 3 or 4 months since i last really played whoops #i gotta find stuff i can actually work with + just GRIND through technique work.. i like technique more bc it just makes me feel #better about my playing overall #anyways thank you for reading my monologue if you've gotten this far youre a real mvp <3 #hoatm rants

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transrightsjimin · 4 years

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jfc i have so much work tomorrow this isnt funny

#if only like. mail delivery was a job that got paid accordingly #like yes it is minimum wage but the minimum wage is based on a 40 hr contract #u cant do mail delivery 40 hrs!!!#they only count the time in which you actually walk / cycle through the route and deliver mail #so even if youre busy for like 7 or 8 hrs you just get paid for the route itself and not cycling back and forth and loading bags at work #so it rly doesnt feel rewarding nd its super exhaustive #i knew a person who was clearly at the verge of a burnout and she had a 20 hr contract but worked 34 hours per week #which of c is way longer irl bc they only count the routes #she was so overworked and started early but was done super late so that she couldnt even make it to a meeting of (a bad) union #like daily life would rly probably improve a lot for me when i have a stable job nd some structure #and oh my god i normally hare vacations bc i get so bored nd depressed yet stressed in them #but what if i for one time truly have a proper break where i dont need to stress abt family and work and homework (bc im a graduate)#just SUCKS that i hate everything abt working #ppl r like oh but ur so smart!!! :(#first of all im not that smart #like i guess im intelligent but i also dont remember anything that i learned in primary - high school - college - uni #just nothing. nd i dont read ever bc im fucking stupid nd have no concentration and hate doing stuff that takes a lot of focus #i hate reading i hate cooking i hate learning stuff im not interested in #nd im a rly slow learner w practical stuff which is not exactly a good trait w jobs #i cant focus i cant remember stuff i hate work i hate having to deal w colleagues but im also a very dependent person #IF ONLY i got help w a job coach sooner but no i have to wait until december for an APPOINTMENT where they #evaluate how much i can truly work bc i stated i can work 'only' 32 hrs so instancies feel the need to check if thats true #nd im just so fucking stressed #my housemate now has a job so we'll soon lose our rights to welfare benefits #i need to work but im so bad at lying #i feel so useless nd also bad for consistemtly crying abt this to my friend #i DONT KNOW WHAT WORK I COULD DO OR HANDLE #rambles

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soulwillower · 3 years

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semi-charming • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane. "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own. "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.

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#bill denbrough #bill denbrough smut #losers club x reader #losers club smut

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