#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zeldasnotes · 9 months

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 29

CHECK OUT → 24 25 26 27 28

🀧 Someones Ascendant in your 8th house = them disliking you/heard a bad rumor about you but once they get to know you/talk to you for the first time they will become completely smitten with you. Or vice versa.

🀧 People talk about how vengeful scorpio placements are but have you seen libra placements? Their symbol is literally the scale. For them if they dont get revenge the scale is not even. The sign of justice and balance. You do something to them they have to do something to you.

🀧 People with Venus aspecting Neptune either dress like its Milan Fashion Week or like a 3 year old picked out their outfit.

🀧 8th house synastry just like neptune creates almost like a fog. There is like a view of the person as much more attractive and scary etc. If you fight with someone you have 8th house energy with it will be hard to forgive and forget because everythong they do is seem as more intense and bad (like with chiron. And the same when it comes to attraction. A person with zero sex appeal will look sexy to you if yall have 8th house synastry. So 8th house can create the rose colored glasses too.

🀧 A lot of people with Venus in the 10th house grew up with parents who cared a lot about image or looks. They learned from an early age how to behave and to always look good when leaving the house. My baby sister have this placement and both my dad and step mom think that respect is everything. I remember the disgusted look on my dads face everytime i wore something slighty sloppy.

🀧 Taurus IC spend more money on the clothes they wear at home and their pyjamas than the clothes they wear outside. At home is where they need luxury. The ones most likely to have brand name towels and furniture.

🀧 Aquarius Moon might be a leader of a group or the most popular/prominent/well known person in their friends group.

🀧 Aquarius placements pick up on trends from others countries fast. They love being the first one to do something.

🀧 People with Pluto or Lilith harshly aspecting Moon have a lot of fears and triggers. Emotional life can be super intense here to the point of them constantly being in survival mood. Having Moon in an air house/air degree can soften this intensity a little.

🀧 Saturnians care a lot about how friends/partners treat them infront of others. Im a saturnian and I could never be with a partner who lectures me in public. Agree with me in public and then lecture me when we get home, dont make me look stupid and leave me fending for myself.

🀧 Saturn 2nd house might struggle with self love and self worth a lot during their younger years but when they finally realize their worth there is no going back.

🀧 People with Mars conjunct the angles attract a lot of conflict without doing anything. Almost like universe wants them to learn to fight or something. People respond to them aggressively bc they feel threathened so people are extra harsh towards them. For women having Mars conjunct the angles can be hard because people dont treat them as ”gently” which can make them feel less attractive/feminine. So if you have this trust me its not you its them, they are just threathened.

🀧 Libra Risings dont handle rejection well because they NEED people to be attracted to them and want them. Just like Cap Rising cant handle being disrespected and Leo Rising cant handle being ignored.

🀧 Cancer Descendant might like traditional roles in a relationship. One makes the money, the other takes care of the home. Instead of 50/50. Depends on other placements tho.

🀧 People with Venus Square Ascendant gets involved in weird situationships. Because they attract the same sign that their Venus Squares (their 7th house sign). For example a Cancer Rising with Libra Venus will most likely attract a lot of Capricorn Risings because thats the sign of their 7th house. They are attracted to Cap Rising but at the same time something with the Cap rising bothers them since their behaviour dont match what Libra Venus finds the ultimate behaviour/look.

🀧 Lilith Squares are common in people who just dont click with the opposite sex. Like no matter how attracted you are it just doesnt click on an emotional level.

🀧 You will most likely feel competetive or threathened by anyone who got your Sun sign in their inner planets. They represent something that you consider yours, something thats tied to your ego.

🀧 People with Lilith conjunct Venus are attracted to the outcasted. They cant help but be drawn to the one others dislike. Men with this aspect might fall for the ”town wh*re” (im not slutshaming).

🀧 Aspects to Neptune can show who/where we tend to believe easily and Pluto where we can be very paranoid. Pluto/Venus = Paranoid in love. Neptune/Venus = Naive in love.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith #birth chart readings #lilith aspects #asteroids

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 9 months

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no please bc just once I wanna make hobie nervous flustered.. like why can’t he can’t be intimated by me why I always gotta be intimidated by him 🙄🙄

TRULLLYY The opportunities are endless!! Let's talk about it!!!!!!!!!!!

Hobie Brown Loves Feminists and Defying the Patriarchy aka Hobie Brown and Writing write Non-Conventional Romantic Relationships in 'x-readers'

[this is an analysis where I analyze Hobie Brown, non-conventional relationships, and how feminism factors in to it all. Basically a critique/dive/rant into the narrow 'x-reader culture' in the Hobie Fandom

I touch on issues in Smut, labels, and how we can write 'Y/N's that challenge that status quo and fit Hobie better. I also break down how I personally use feminist themes to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie.] [Also there's now a PART 2 HERE]

Despite the man from the 1970's - the era of bra-burning second-wave feminism - I don't ever think I've seen anyone talk about it, him, and how it influences him.

We all know Hobie isn't down with labels, but it seems like in X-Fem!Reader, the only two options out there are play-boy guitarist and traditional out-of-the-box boyfriend.

Hobie. The man he follows no social quo. Don't expect flowers from him.

Hobie diverges from the norm in nearly every way, and he does it purposefully and intentionally. And I think that'd extend to his romantic relationships too.

So why do we only see him in heteronormative, traditional gender-role based relationships?

Would Hobie be into this? And does the way we write him and his relationships in x-writers serve Hobie emotionally, allowing him to be a full character? (No, they don't.)

How can begin to acknowledge that, just like Hobie cares about race, and class, and housing and queer rights - he'd care about feminism too.

And how would that influence him in romance? How can we start writing healthier x-reader's?

We have enough insecure, blushing 'Y/N's being woo'd by [insert tumblr sexy man]'. Hobie can have so much more - in the words of Beyonce "Where the ladies up in here who like to talk back?!"

Hobie Brown, Romance, and Gender Roles

Why can I be the one calling him 'love', and 'darling', and 'sweetheart'?

Where's the fic where I'm the one comforting and taking care of him when he's sick/down?

Why can't Hobie be the one asked to be held?

There's something lacking here!!!!!!!

I honestly think Hobie would be into it, and find it very attractive - having a feminine partner who defies gender roles in their relationship purposefully and proudly.

Hobie loves subverting expectations and challenging society. So, and seeing many people unthinkingly assume he'd have a completely normal, routine heterosexual relationship without question -- uhhh I don't like that!!!

Like, Hobie is very clearly attractive. He's like 6'5", a guitarist, and punk. Let's be real, people of any gender are gonna be flirting with him, whether he's into it or not. He without a doubt gets flirted at all the time.

I think he'd love someone who cuts the bullshit and is like "You're really cute. I've got the biggest crush on you."

Not in a pushy way, but a relaxed way.

But I hardly ever see the x-reader advances being initiated by the reader. Why? It can be really nice to take the confidence to ask someone out and they say yes.

In fact, a lot of x-readers are written demure, passive, and down-right unhealthy in their ability to defend themselves and stand alone. So many are based off the x reader needing Hobie for some reason, whether it be confidence, or protection, or for him to teach them something.

Never Hobie needing the reader for something. Never Hobie being the one to express emotion and need comfort.

Which is funny, because Hobie can show emotions like anger, which he does in the comics. That's NEVER brought up in fics. In no fic do we have the reader witness Hobie hitting someone with a guitar or kicking them in the face. Which Hobie does do.

No, that's too violent for the romanticized fandom of Hobie. He has to be the good boyfriend to the shy girlfriend.

And I feel like there's a reason many of these x-readers are written this way - is heteronormativity and a dash of misogyny-flavored sexism involved??? maybe.

Especially with x fem readers, feminine people are always expected to be passive and submissive. Women in the real world are expected to mute their advances and 'be coy' for the sake of sexist 'respectability'.

We're taught that 'giving them the eyes' is (somehow??) an 'advance'. Or that you have to wait to be asked out or else you're 'too forward'.

[Insert Barbie Movie Monologue here]

Personally, I think Hobie would be SO refreshed by a girl who comes up to him and is like "Hey, are you busy on Friday? Do you wanna meet me then? I wanna go on a date with you."

Because, realistically 95% of the people in the Hobie fandom - including me - would probably be too nervous to even speak a sentence to Hobie.

So for someone to approach him directly, state their intentions, and be so open to potential rejection, that's impressive - I think he'd LOVE that shit!!!

I think it's a nice juxtaposition to have him with someone who diverges from the 'demure ideal of a girlfriend'.

A girl who walks around like Jessica Drew. Walks in the room like "My man is SEXY AF and he about to walk in so LOOK. BE JEALOUS."

I imagine so many people around him try to act like they DON'T like Hobie when they clearly do - and he can tell. So to have someone who isn't hiding it is a kind of candidness that differs from it all.

So often are women forced into the passive role of waiting to be 'chosen'. Fuck that, you want him, go get him.

Hobie, Romance, and Labels

I also think Hobie would REALLY like a partner who knows what they want.

I always see people be like 'Hobie doesn't like labels!! He wants to keep it casual!' or 'Nooo he was kidding about the labels thing - he'd love a committe-'

WHO SAYS HE'D BE THE ONE DEFINING THE SITUATION????????? WHO SAID HE GETS THE LAST SAY???!!!!!

I feel like Hobie would go fucking NUTS for a girl who is straight up like "yeah I'm just trying to fuck. Are you okay with that?" or "I like what we've got going on. I'm not looking for anything serious, but let's keep going."

Or a partner that is very clear about their labels. A person who's like "I like you but if you're not trying to be exclusive I'm gonna get a move on." Because he's not gonna have you out here looking DUMB, people better know you're in the mfing picture.

That's some grown ass shit! It shows she knows what she wants and that she's not wavering on it, even for him. He's with it. I don't think Hobie would be down to be like "I'm ur boyfriend now" OR "I'm ONLY down for fucking lol srry'.

She gets a say too. And she should be clear on what she wants.

If she's the one to take the initiative and name the game - that's great for him. He's down for whatever, what is it that YOU wanna do??

Hobie, Romance, and Intimacy (like for the grown folks 18+) __________________________________

🔞

In a LOT of fic and especially SMUT, it's always Hobie making the advances, or at least initiating them. In society, women are taught that's how is, that being sexually 'aggressive' and proactive - not just SUGGESTIVE - is inappropriate.

Wait till Hobie slaps your ass, then the smut could start. Wait till Hobie kisses you, then there's romance.

Nah, I'm the one smacking his ass. I'm the one pulling his belt loop saying Come 'ere. What if I'm the one who wants to pull him down for a first kiss, huh??? I gotta wait??

Even in dialogue-

In a lot of fics Hobie can talk as raunchy as ever, but the woman can't say 'pussy'? Hobie can say three sentences straight about how my coochie feel but the reader only gets to moan submissive requests back??

Can the dirty talk be two-sided? Because women should be allowed to be vocal in their pleasure.

Hobie can tell you he wants you to suck his dick, but when's the reader gonna say "Come eat this pussy like you mean it." HM??????

In fics the reader can only be suggestive - in order to bait him into initiating, like sending him a suggestive picture or throwing a bra on stage. But it's hardly ever the other way around. With the reader being the one to say 'Enough of the teasing, we fucking NEOW.'

Because in our society, a guy slipping a girl's shirt off to get the scene going is hot. But a woman going for a guys belt before he begins to undress her - nooo, that's too forward.

Maybe Hobie wants to feel like the sexy, desired, sought after one.

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Hobie, Romance and Feminism

Let it be known: Hobie loves people who are socially educated!!!!

If you can look at him and explain what anarchism actually is - like in a politcal theory sense - I think he'd be impressed, because you're seeing through the 'pseudo-rockstar' persona he puts on.

Most if not all of his actions are choice are driven by political action, so having a partner educated in things like anarchy or communism just makes sense with him. Hobie cares about stuff like that, and actually goes out of his way to study and live in line with those ideals.

That includes feminism!!!

I think Hobie would love a girlfriend who is invested in feminism, cares about it, and thinks about it in her decision making.

A woman that is educated about her oppression and how to combat it, and purposefully goes against the strict stereotype labeled on women - especially feminine women - as an act of protest.

A girl who can and will defend herself, go off on, or put a sexist pig in their place. You can't tell me he wouldn't be into that.

Social movements of the oppressed are super important to Hobie, and I think feminism is the same, but I never see it mentioned.

I definitely think that Hobie would have a clear understanding of his privilege as a man and how that effects relationships.

I can see him being like "I'd never propose." Not because he hates labels, but because he acknowledges that for centuries marriage was used as a financial and social transaction to oppress and control women and their bodies, and he doesn't want to be involved in that.

Hit him with that "Same - the gold and diamond rings are trash anyway. Both materials being mined and pillaged in African nations for centuries at the expense of the indigenous populations really puts me off it."

He'd wanna somehow find a way to marry you without marrying you you know what i mean

Hobie loves feminism and feminists. Give him a 70's bra-burning feminism so help me god. He was alive for Roe v. Wade passing (1973), he KNOWS about feminism and probably knows many outspoken feminists.

Hobie, Romance and Individuality

You know what I don't like?

Headcanons or fics that be like "You and Hobie NEVER disagree or argue. Never ever, you always talk it out."

Like...Bullshit. I'm sorry but I don't think it's very realistic.

Hobie is a very opinionated too. He's very outspoken and when it comes to topics, and he usually knows exactly where he stands. I think, without a doubt he'd care what his partner thinks too.

Asking them about a record that's playing, or what they think of a movie they saw in the past, or a new political issue going on. He'd absolutely ask, because he cares. He's interested.

If if ya'll are never disagreeing that means:

Either you agree with his opinion all the time without fail or exception OR

You're biting your tongue around him

I don't think one is very realistic in terms of things. You can't like every song your boyfriend likes. You can't like every movie he shows you, or agree on EVERY political issue. That's not how people are.

And for two - if you're biting your tongue around him, he'll notice.

Yes, Hobie is a very emotionally intelligent person and extremely compassionate. But he's also very strong in his morals, thoughts, and beliefs. He doesn't budge.

If you're biting your tongue, I'd imagine he'd be like "You wanna say something." or "Whatever you're thinking just say it." cause he can see it in your face.

He's not trying to put you on the spot, he just wants to know what you're thinking.

When you explain what you're thinking, he's probably gonna wanna hear why, and respond, etc etc.

Hobie is a very individualistic person, and I think he'd be drawn to someone who is as well. Someone who is solid in their opinions and personhood enough to express them.

It leads to interesting conversation and knowing each other deeper -It's a form of intimacy.

If you watch a film with him and don't like it, he's gonna ask why. Did you not like the theme? Was the dialogue bad? What part did you think sucked the most, he thought x, y, z. What do you think about the part he disliked, did you notice a,b,c?

I feel like Hobie would want to know his partner deeply, and he'd care and love the things that make them different from each other.

Including differing opinions.

Discussions and debates aren't bad. Discussing something and getting heated defending your point can be really fun and stimulating, if it's with someone you care about and the two parties are mature and not assholes.

Tell him why you think he's wrong about something - he wants an excuse to talk more about his opinion. INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGE HIM DONT JUST AGREE.

Along with being very individualistic, Hobie is very independent. He refused to rely on the Society for their watches - he made his own. So I think the next important thing to him is:

Hobie, Romance and Independence

I like the idea of Hobie having a partner that has their own place and is committed to that, and their space.

Or a partner that emotionally supports him!!

95% of the time, he's the one asking what's wrong, or holding reader, or comforting them.

Can we get hectic bf and organized girlfriend energy?? A gf where he says plans during missions and she's like "What are you thinking? You're gonna get us killed."

A gf that soothes HIM when he gets angry - cause comic Hobie GETS angry, especially after a fight.

Give me ONE, ONE fic where he's drunk coming from a pub and READER has to deal with drunk Hobie and put him to bed.

Hobie is ALWAYS expected to take care of himself, and the people around him. He takes pride in this and he's good at it. But why should he have to do it all the time?

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In general,

Hobie is a confident person. He knows what he wants, and how to handle himself, and how to approach people and get respect just by being himself. He's assured, and outspoken, and VERY independent. He does what he wants, when he wants and lets you know when it happens

I think pairing him with a confident, assured, outspoked, independent person is only natural. I think him having a relationship with a personality like his would be a ROCK SOLID one.

There's be no fics like 'Groupies were bullying you' because his she would be like "Sis, if I swing on you he isn't gonna hold me back so be careful."

I want a reader that when they do that trope of 'A girl was flirting in front of him making you insecure and uncomfortable' - The reader squashes it right there. Like "Girl, I know you see me standing here. You know we're together. Cut the cute shit!!"

I'm tired of fics taking me for an insecure, submissive, demure, sexually innocent, wimp of a babydoll girlfriend that needs to be babied at every turn. There's nothing wrong with being shy and demure, but when it's all you're offering it's not gonna cut it.

Especially not for Hobie Brown.

Let the tall, dark, actively oppressed black man be the one to vent, or be held, or romanced, and spoken sweetly too. There's so many comfort fics, but not many of them consider Hobie's own trauma - and how a relationship could include that.

Hobie Brown deserves more.

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If you wanna know how I use this to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie, that's below this break.

Okay so I'mma leave it here but if you read this far, thank you!!!! I be SO pissed when fics be talking me (Y/N) as a punk (in the wimpy sense not the Hobie sense). Like...nah I wouldve said something in a lot of situations. Irk my last nerve. Like the one where the girl PINCHES you??? Like?? Nah I we would've been fighting, I'm sorry this is unrealistic

Alsooo the section below is about my Spidersona Disco-Spider and how I encorporated all of this into her creation- because I wanted to write a sona who subtly defied gender roles while still being feminine. So if you wanna read there thank you so much, and if not, thanks for reading this far! He's a pic of Hobie in thanks!

[If you wanna check out Part 2 for direct examples, how to write NCRs, and a more in depth look into Disco and Hobie - check it out here]

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DiscoSpider Diane and The Great Groupie Act [How I use all of this to a write a feminist Spidersona and a non-conventional relationship]

Diane is a HUGE Hobie Groupie - and that's kinda of her main thing.

She runs the Hobie Brown Fanclub on campus, attends all his shows, and wears his guitar pick. She's into him and she's not afraid to show it.

I wanted to write Diane as a purposeful groupie, one who is fine with the title, and even leans into it. Because a lot of the time - and in a lot of fics including guitarists - 'groupie' is seen as a negative thing.

Like K-pop stans, being a 'groupie' - and openly expressing your romantic interest in a hot guy is seen as desperation.

But I wanted to write her as one in spite of this. To swap 'desperation' for unwavering boldness. A girl with the motto 'Closed mouths don't get fed'.

And much like Hobie uses the 'typical punk' label to disarm others, I wanted Diane to mirror that - in the opposite direction.

Diane is a self-proclaimed groupie. And because of that, many (mainly misogynists) assume that she can't think for herself - or at all. And Diane can use that to her advantage.

If Miguel and Jess really believe she only cares about conversations involving Hobie, then they'll talk like she isn't there. And she can listen. If it looks like she's hanging all over him, no one realizes if she's slipping him information.

And it also helps in their relationship.

They both enjoy their privacy.

HQ prohibits relationships between Spidey-people. It's an anomaly waiting to happen - and they make sure to keep a close eye out for it. Plus with Jess breathing down her neck, it's much easier for Diane and Hobie to just keep it underwraps.

In comes the Groupie persona.

No one actually expects the groupie to get the guy. She's desperate, and he's the player guitarist. Plus, if they were dating she couldn't be a 'groupie' right? They wouldn't make sense, would it?

They let people make their own assumptions. By calling herself a groupie, suddenly people think there's no possible way there's something going on, and they don't look closer.

This also allows them the freedom of no labels. Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Nah she's his groupie. Quit asking questions.

All of this allows me to write Disco in a way that connects back to everything in this post.

By calling herself a 'Groupie' suddenly Diane can subvert expectations of affection, avoid the pressures of labels, and control her image and the amount of information she lets on to people

That in turn helps me write their relationship in a nonconventional way - a way that challenges misogyny around affection and reclaims a sexist fan trope for something more empowering.

Sure, the concept seems silly at first. The ditsy, bubbly, party girl on campus, but I wanted there to be a reason and drive behind it.

Disco-Spider Diane is exactly who she wants to be, an unapologetic, outspoken disco-girl. One that's highly educated and knows her shit.

And also a huge groupie.

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If you've read this far, thank you so much. It genuinely means a lot to me! This is reaaaaaallly long.

[Part 2 here]

Now how about you take this photo of Hobie and we both pretend like me writing this is normal well-adjusted behavior okay? okay

Bye.

#im back and I got something to say!!!!!!#these are just my opinions and Headcanons #but also they're correct I know because I'm with Hobie right now in my mind palace and he told me all this #no proofread ever lolllll #spiderman #atsv #hobie brown #marvel #spider man #spider punk #spiderpunk #across the spiderverse #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x oc #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x y/n #atsv anaylsis

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choccy-milky · 1 month

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bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

#choccytalky #finally using that tag #tho its more like CHOCCYRANTY holy this is so long BHAHAHA #also one more thing idk why ppl think its ok to give unsolicited criticism to fanfic writers. like these are stories we're writing for US #and for free like u dont have to rudely declare how unhappy you are with it and that youre stopping. like what do u want me to do #do u want a refund?? BYE!! JUST GO!! like. i also wouldnt want unsolicited criticism or critiques on my visual/drawn art #and ppl understand that. so whys it so hard to understand ppl ALSO dont want it on their writing? both take effort #and giving actual valid criticism is a skill (which is why it was literally a CLASS when i was in uni)#i need a drink #and by that i mean COKE ZERO BABYYYYYYY #AND MORE DRAGONS DOGMA 2

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obsessive-evie · 2 months

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GF KATE HEADCANONS

go thank @iminlovewithpaigebueckers, i also completely stole the formatting from her. ty twin

gf!kate def overheard you say/like a post that said hey mamas or mama, so she waits until she has you a little cocky to call you mamas just to see what happens it becomes her new addiction, especially lil mamas

gf!kate is a little shit

gf!kate sends you little facebook mom selfies whenever she travels

^^and/or vlogs and recaps when you guys can’t ft

gf!kate will learn your whole skincare routine just in case you need her to do it when you’re drunk

gf!kate appreciates feminine things and girly things: “i like that little sparkle, the white glitter it’s pretty,” while pointing to your inner corner highlight.

“you smell good,” when she catches you in passing or just when you’ve finished getting ready.

will sit on your bed helping you choose outfits… and will also cover her eyes when you get changed, all panicked just in case you don’t wanna be seen. doesn’t matter if you tell her it’s fine (she’s literally seen every inch of your skin) she’s sitting there with her hands over her eyes no peeking (maybe a single peek)

gf!kate will actually respect if you wanna pay or dress more masculine, she gets it. no stereotypes here!!

gf!kate will braid or curl your hair just to show her love and stare at you

^^^ for my textured hair girlies this includes how to do your edges!!! what products she needs to use on you!! how much!!!!

gf!kate is very white. gf kate will not understand certain slang or terms until you explain it to her. gf kate gets excited when she uses said slang correctly

gf!kate would make an attempt to read your favorite book when she’s traveling (i said attempt idk if she’s finish it i don’t know if she’s a reader or not) in my head she is simply bc i read a book a day and i make the rules here

gf!kate will also try your music taste!!

gf!kate loves buying her girl lingerie. she doesn’t give a FUCK abt prices or if you’re nervy. kinda goes with the femininity thing, she’d like to see you in lacey things and pretty colors and such

gf!kate is the biggest hype woman, genuinely thinks you are perfect (BUT IS STILL A WOMAN AND WILL UNDERSTAND HORMONES AND INSECURITIES)

gf!kate is a fan of traditional things: flowers, treating her girl to date nights she plans, she’s always driving, lowkey would ask your parent/parent figure/ important person in your life to marry you, not in a possessive way but in the way that she thinks it’s polite and necessary

gf!kate loves visiting her girls family, and they love her, no matter how crazy they are

gf!kate can fixate on your boobs or thighs or hips and just lay and kiss for forever they’re her fav place to nap, and let’s be real my girls napping a lot

gf!kate likes to hover and stare and just watch you do your thing in your habitat (you call her national geographic for a reason)

NSFW

gf kate lovesssss to give head, she just loves making you feel good and making you squirm, she also loves hearing you get loud, won’t ask you to be loud tho. but she’ll never tell you to not cover your mouth if you try to cover it, she just takes it as you trying to stay comfortable

gf kate will braid your hair before fucking you so she has something to pull 🫣

gf kate tries really hard to stay more controlling when she’s topping but she still gets shy sometimes and is also dying (she’s so turned on she can barely think)

gf kate is kind of afraid to be mean to you, she just feels too bad

gf kate will never proposition sex, she might hint at it or have that look in her eye, but she’d rather sit and be horny than ask you when you don’t want to

gf kate would go so far as to get herself off in the bathroom or shower just so she doesn’t bother you if she knows you’re not in the mood or on your period

gf kate gets worked up fast but tries to take it slower to make her girl feel good

gf kate likes phone calls and guided/mutual masterbation

gf kate takes a whilleeeeee to stop being shy when you top, specifically when you go down on her she’s so nervous and can’t look at you (go check out my fic if you like this one)

gf kate cannot handle it when you kiss her neck, like at all. especially when she’s fucking you if you kiss her neck she’d get all breathy and try to pretend like she doesn’t keep stalling and pausing her thrusts

gf kate also cannot handle it when you bite or kiss her shoulders, arms, and back. like that’s the way to get her to melt

gf kate will eat her girl out to hozier, fuck her girl to hozier, and let her girl fuck her to hozier

gf kate is adorable

#kate martin #kate martin my beloved #kate martin headcanons #i forgot to post this like a week ago #don’t hate me i don’t have a brain okay #twin !!!#100% stole her layouts #stole the last one as well #wcbb #active era!!

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cowboyjen68 · 5 months

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Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

#lesbian #butch #stereotypes #careers #words #lady

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sapphicmsmarvel · 3 months

Text

the night courts justice

pairing: platonic!rhysand x reader

summary: rhysand learns your past traumas are more alike than he assumed.

Tw: MASSIVE trigger warning for r*pe being mentioned. Graphic, graphic violence. Feminine rage, unhinged female rage. Unhinged.

Would like to preface: this is a work of fiction, uh, yeah.

I know people write more detailed shit than I did however, I just wanted to give the violence disclaimer bc this is the most violent thing i've ever written (i usually just write fluff!)

Happy reading to my unhinged vengeful girlypops <3

After you turned, you got bad. You had always struggled with depression, however the fae transformation increased that feeling.

Rhysand noticed first because you were showing the signs that he did after under the mountain.

“You’re taking care of them, so they’ll be okay when you leave.” He had approached you on the balcony.

You weren’t an idiot. “Sometimes, I do wonder what would happen if I just…” You waved your hands around. “Ceased.”

“You wouldn’t see Feyre again.” His voice cracked. “She was what was keeping me from…ending it after I got back.”

“I don’t know the extent of what happened to you.” You began, “but I can fill in the blanks.”

“How so?” “From one rape victim to another, I can see the signs.” You simply stated.

It was silent and then, “Feyre found me that night.” Your voice was a whisper in the wind.

He paused, he could feel the sorrow radiating off of you. You swallowed, “she found me abandoned in the woods, that’s where I was taken. At the time, we had no idea who it was, or where he was from. It was close to the wall. Hence how she found me. I had been there since the previous night. Missing for almost a whole day plus a night. She was hunting at night so people wouldn't get greedy when they saw her with prey. She brought me back to the cottage, her dad was asleep, Nesta woke up because I couldn’t get up the steps and she heard a bang.” You sucked in a deep breath, “I couldn’t get up the steps because….he had hurt me too badly.” He put a hand on your shoulder, he wasn’t one for physical affection like this with someone he barely knew, but he knew you needed it.

You didn’t push him away.

“Fey and Nesta got me up the steps, it was the first time I had seen the two of them work as a team. They got me in the bath, cleaned up the blood that was staining my legs, my…everything.”

He tried to keep his rage contained, however it was hard, you felt the air turn denser.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Rhysand.” You laughed bitterly. “It’s over and done with.”

“Do you want revenge?”

You sighed, “Yes, which makes me terrible-”

“No it does not.” He hissed.

You shrugged, “it doesn’t matter.”

After a brief silence he asked, “You said, at the time. Who was it?”

“He was from the Spring Court. Not Tamlin or Lucien. Or the guy that Fey killed. But now that I am here, and I have the heightened senses. I recognize the different courts, it’s the smell. He smelled like the Spring Court.”

“Can I see what he looked like?” Rhysand asked.

You nodded and let him into your mind.

-------------------------------------------------------

During the war, it had completely slipped your mind that you had told Rhys about these things. Or rather showed him the face. Feyre had come back and then you were off fighting a war. Not too much time to dwell on things.

But, one day you were called to “the torture chamber” as you called it, however Azriel disapproved even though he also agreed. He just didn’t like how blunt you were about it.

“What is this?” You asked.

That’s when you could smell it. The smell of dandelions and dewy grass. The smell that had haunted your nightmares long before Hybern had. You saw him tied to a chair, beaten and bloody, his mouth had a gag stuffed in it. Azriel was behind him, Rhysand off to the side and Feyre was behind you, she had come with you. But based off the look on her face, she knew all along.

“You can either kill him or I will.”

“Doesn’t this look bad, High Lord?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow. “If this gets out…”

“Oh it can, I don’t particularly care, let them know I don’t tolerate anyone being raped, let alone someone in my court. Let Tamlin come and try to defend this.”

“He’s an asshole, but he never raped me.” Feyre walked up and put a sword in your hands. “Gut him like a fish.”

You took the sword, ready. You looked at him as he wept. “Do you remember me?”

Silence.

You lifted his head with the tip of the sword, drawing blood that trickled down the metal.

Gods, nothing has ever looked so fun.

“I said, do you remember me?” You asked in an innocent voice.

He shook his head, screaming around the gag.

You widened your eyes, mockingly, “you know I screamed that night too.”

HIs eyes widened, you didn’t know if he was recognizing your scent, or if he had done this to multiple people and he’s trying to figure out which one you were. “You went across the wall, found an innocent sixteen year old girl. A child. You took me out there and you raped me. And then at the end, when I was crying into the dirt, begging for the Mother to put me to sleep so I would stop hurting; do you remember what you said?” You asked.

He didn’t answer, so you shoved the blade in deeper, causing a bigger waterfall the color of revenge to cascade down the blade. “I asked a question.”

He shook his head.

You let a cruel smile slip. “You said that with the way I was acting, I had it coming.” You laughed and his eyes widened. “And now, you’ll see what you’ve had coming all these years.”

With that you moved the sword. He let out a breath, but then saw you go to the table and grab pliers.

“How many people?” You asked starting with his finger, that’s when you saw the wedding ring. You laughed coldly. “What poor person did you trap?”

He glared, you smiled and took the pliers and pulled off a fingernail. He screamed around his gag and it was music to you. “I ask again, how many?”

He kept screaming, so you kept pulling.

Once you started on the other hand, that’s when he stopped screaming and began nodding. “You’ll tell me?” You asked.

He nodded so you removed the gag. “Nine.”

You let out a laugh through your nose. Not a genuine one of course, but one that showed you were about to become even more angry. “Do you remember their faces?”

He nodded and you looked at Rhysand, “if you’d ever be so kind. I want to pay them a visit.”

To let them know their monster is dead, and he did not die a slow death.

Rhysand nodded to let you know, he intruded the male's mind and then left the room with Feyre.

He would show her their faces, she would draw from memory. Then you would find them to give them peace that he was dead.

Only Azriel was left in the cell.

Then you smiled again, a twisted and evil one, “and now our fun begins.”

That’s when you smelled the urine.

And your smile grew bigger.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The male was later found staked to a rock by the wall. An ice pick through his forehead and his hands, pinning him to the old stone. The word “rapist” was carved into his naked chest. All fingers were broken and nine teeth were pulled out of his mouth.

Then a letter was sent to eight houses, explaining that their monster was dead and if they chose to, they could see what became of him by going to a certain spot.

All eight showed up.

Well nine but no one could see her. No one could see her or the High Lord of Night Court watching.

“You feel better?”

You sighed, “murder is bad, however I can rest easy knowing he’s dead.”

“Yeah, you definitely know he is.”

You snorted, “I may have had a bit of fun.”

“He definitely deserved it, the thing with his penis though was twisted.”

You laughed outright at that. “That was Azriel’s touch.”

Rhysand shuddered, “once again the guy deserved it, but Gods, you filet’d that thing.”

“They’ll find it in the autopsy.” You shrugged, sipping your hot chocolate, that fought off the cold Sunday morning.

He lifted his cup over for a cheers and you clinked, and both of you took a sip. “We’re fucked in the head aren’t we?” You said.

He nodded, “Oh we definitely are. At least we’re surrounded by other fucked individuals.”

“Cheers to that.”

And once again you clinked mugs.

-------------------------------------------

The next day you were called into the Feyre and Rhysand’s office, part of you wondered if it meant that the mortals had connected the murder of the Night Court and now you’d have to pay for what you’d done.

But when you walked in, Feyre was smiling genuinely.

Rhysand gave her a loving look, “could you at least pretend it’s something bad just to mess with her?” He drawled teasingly.

“She’s my best friend, she’d know I was lying.” Feyre responded as if Rhysand was dumb.

Could confirm, you would know.

“I thought I was your best friend.” Rhysand put a hand to his chest as if he was offended but you both could tell he was not.

You and Feyre shared a look and rolled your eyes in unison.

“Can I just know what’s going on?” You asked.

“We want you to be the Night Court’s Justice.” “...Isn’t that what Azriel is for?”

“Azriel is for collecting information on enemies. You will basically be an assassin for us.” Rhysand explained. “If you so desire.”

“Who would I go after?”

“Anybody that poses a threat to my family.” His eyes flashed with anger. “Someone hurts anyone, including you. Then you have our full permission to slit their throats.” He said. “Obviously, we’d give you assignments. When you don’t have assignments you’d be working alongside Azriel.”

You nodded and then went, “fuck it. Okay.”

“You don’t want to think about it?” Feyre asked.

“If I’m taking out people that are like the bastard I just killed, then I will do it. Rapists deserve nothing else.”

Rhysand smirked, “welcome to the court.”

#acotar #acotar x reader #rhysand x reader #feyre archeron #platonic!acotar x reader #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acofs #azriel

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poppy-metal · 4 months

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aaaa poppy going crazy bc stepsibling jordan who's older than u and just thinks you're so cute!! and is unbearably mean to you becuase of it teases you for being so sweet and oblivious :( makes fun of your girly little room and your pretty little outfits :( teases you for walking around in your tiny little sleep shorts nd how nervous u get when its just the two of u home alone. im afraid i cant take it

-🦸‍♀️

naur bc they intimidate you so bad. you dont know if they genuinely hate you, because they're always picking on you. you can't help but want their attention, even when its the two of you bickering it makes you buzz inside because their focus is on you. and oh, you can't help the way your heart pulses whenever those dark eyes land on you - zero in on you.

and we're you're all alone in that big house... a part of you is excited, like buzzing. you subconsciously dress cuter, because you've seen the kind of people jordan hooks up with, know they like feminine women and dumb himbos - you're not a himbo, but well, you put on your pinkest socks - your most delicate pjs. little bows in your hair. loiter outside your room in the kitchen, living room, just for the hopes of running into them.

when you do, its when they come back from the gym, nylon shorts hung low on their hips, tank dotted with sweat. you're sitting at the kitchen counter top, spoon dipped into your strawberry yogurt and you just kinda.... take them in. they yank open the fridge and guzzle half a water bottle down in one sip, and its almost pornogrpahic the way some spare water drips down their throat.

in masc!form you can see the way the tank clings to their chest and abs. the corded muscle in their arms. the tattoos running down their skin - gotten to piss off their dad after marrying your mother - and you're just a girl.

"parents are out." you say softly, looking down at your yogurt.

their eyes fix on you and that flush you always get around them starts in your cheeks, warms down to your belly. they finish off the water bottle, crush it in their hands. they approach the island, rest their forearms on it - jesus they're so big - your eyes dart to the silver chain that dangles around their neck. half silver chain, half pearls.

"you sound excited about that," they note. "you plannin an epic rager I should know about?"

you shake your head, giggling a little. "i dont think i even know enough people to throw a party. plus, i dont wanna anger your father - hes scary."

jordan rolls their eyes. "hes a pussy."

"jordan!"

"do what you want - he wont give a shit. you're the good girl." the way jordan says it, with a hint of resentment, deflates you a little.

"I'm not that good."

one dark brow raises. "oh yeah?"

you figet. push your spoon around the cup. "well, i haven't done bad things, like-"

"like me?"

"no!" quick to reassure. "i mean in general things that are viewed as bad. partying, drugs, alcohol, except for that one time i accidently took a sip of my moms spiked eggnog during christmas-"

jordans lips fold together like they're holding in a smile, but a little dimple peeks out. these little things you dont notice, too flustered with your own overexplaining.

"- but besides that one time, i haven't done anything but. but im not good - i mean, what is good anyway? cause a person can do all these good things and then still be a bad person with the way they think, you know."

teeth dig into jordans bottom lip as they appraise you. its clear you're embarrassed at having spoke so much. you dont realize how fucking cute you are, and that makes them want to mess with you. a little. alot. they rest their hip on the island, looking down at you.

"you have bad thoughts, baby sis?"

there goes that face flush again. "well, not evil ones."

lips quirk to the side, they tilt their head at you like you're an interesting puppy playing a trick for them. "uh huh." they hum. "what kind are they then? spiteful? bitchy? or..." they shift then, voice changing half way through their talking. "are you a little fuckin' perv up there?"

if they could frame your face they would. squirming in place. shifting in your seat, eyes darting away quickly. basically all the confirmation they need.

unbidden, the thought of you in your bed, hand between your legs, rubbing that little clit furiously to fantasies running through your head hits them and they have to swallow. fuck. they imagine your skin flushing, grinding your hips because you cant hit the spot right, frustrated. would you give upn teary eyed? or would you roll over and hump your pillow. what kind of sounds do you make? quiet and soft? throaty? they think there'd be alot of whimpers. their eyes trace down your skimpy sleep shirt. god, yeah. they could make you whimper. it'd be so fucking easy. you'd let them too. the way you're constantly looking at them with those big eyes of yours, vying for their attention. makes them want to squash you under their thumb. and make you cum.

"n-no!" you try to defend. "i just meant I'm not a goody two shoes!"

"sure you're not." they totally think that's bullshit. "wanna prove it?"

you blink at them. "prove it?"

their tongue darts out, licks their bottom lip. they feel their cunt throb in their boxers. they're kinda no better than a dog. panting at the fucking bit to get you alone all the sudden. they've thought about it before, fucking obviously. you dont get a hot new baby sister like you and not imagine fucking her. this is the first time they've considered doing something about it though.

"come on." they push off from the counter, making sure their bare shoulder brushes yours as they pass. they feel you shiver, and smirk. "lets go to my room."

they don't look back to see if you'll follow. they know you will.

#ask #🦸‍♀️ anon #tw: stepcest #jordan li x reader #throws this at u

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quartztwst · 5 months

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I have an answer for this

THEY WILL NEVER SEE THIS BC IM ON TUMBLR 😭😭😭 BUT I have one

(ALSO TWO OF THESE ARE OLD ART they dont look good)

E-E-Erm this is my version of fem epel.... her hair is shorter YES I KNOW and NOTHINF CHANGED 😭😭😭 IM LAME

But I personally think that Fem Epel would try to be likee... Not traditionally feminine?? You guys know those girls who act like "OH, I'm not like other girls. I don't put on make up and stuff!!"

I feel like Fem Epel would be like that and the reason why is because she's usually seen as cute and weak so people underestimate her and she doesn't like that.

So she tries to be more traditionally masculine like cutting her hair (I GUESS??) and also acting "tough" or like idk "boyish" I guess.

And then of course after she realizes and gets character development, she kinda learns to embrace a bit of femininity and being herself??

That's just my version of fem epel

But fem epel be really masculine and trying to be feminine also is a cool way to do it too

#epel felmier #twst epel #twisted wonderland #twst #fem epel felmier #fem twisted wonderland #fem twst

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skrunksthatwunk · 10 days

Text

sorry just watched all of lacey's games (thru rabbit hole at time of writing) and i wanna talk about laceys diner can we talk about lacey's diner? we're talking about it now

tl;dr lacey's games is about the presentation and consumption of girls.

cw suicide, csa, incest, cannibalism. if you've seen the series, you know. i only speak of them vaguely here though

in lacey's diner her livelihood depends on how well people like her food, how it looks, how it tastes, how quickly she gets it to them on time. if any of these things falter, they reject her and reinforce her desperation (trauma around failure and acceptance + threat of extreme poverty via the restaurant closing).

eating her food is accepting her, choosing to be with her in some way. lacey gets eaten in the prior episode so her stalker can be with her forever, out of an obsession with her (/her body) that leads him to destroy her to better possess and consume her (like her uncle). she can't be late serving them herself, because that's not good presentation—her inability to get food out on time is a reflection of her flaws, and a cause to reject her. she must be available for others, punctual. she can't put the wrong ingredients in—elements of herself, her life—she must exclude them entirely from the part they eat, the part she gives away. she keeps the part that is filled with the disgusting, ugly, painful things in her life, about her.

and when she gets fed up and feeds those raw, authentic parts of herself to them (out of spite, tired of trying her best to no avail, to give them a taste of their own medicine), she is punished, not allowed to serve anyone again bc it's too gross and dangerous. she is punished for lashing out, for not keeping it all bottled up, and in her helplessness, resigns herself to death.

as seen in rabbit hole, jay was too boyish to be consumed happily by the audience (the mothers in the emails), so she was killed off and effectively haunts lacey. if she is not presentable enough, she too will be destroyed and discarded. if she is too presentable, she will be consumed too completely. she has no control, no say (as we know from lacey's wardrobe), no agency outside of pretending she's in a sparkly dreamy world. and jay—who said she would rather die than wear makeup—is forced by lacey to wear makeup in death. she's fixing her by making her conform to the same gender standards she's strangled by, saying that if she was less boyish she wouldn't have died. again, femininity and conformity (and thus being pleasant to others, presenting oneself to be admired and consumed) is safe to lacey, something she must perform to survive. yet, of course, lacey is hurt immensely for her being a girl, for her being a woman, and for her trauma resulting from those events.

all her talk of being ugly when she's grieving, of almost crying in front of him (her uncle iirc), of needing to be pretty even for the people who abuse and hurt her... and how she wished the world was ugly and grotesque when jay died because that was how it felt, but it was just sunny and oblivious. she was the one standing out for being upset, and the world was pretending and consumable and she couldn't anymore. she had to scrape herself together though because what else is there? when her job and stability and life is at stake, how can she afford to be traumatized? to not pretend, even when she's alone? augh. ough. look i just like lacey. i want her to be ok

i don't know that lacey herself is supposed to have a linear, consistent story. i kind of think she's an avatar for like,, girlhood suffering and trauma, and the traumatized people who come from that (hence her dying in multiple ways and coming back). perhaps as rocio's way of warning or comforting girls who went through similar things to her, or to vent her own issues because the thought of making something that's such a farce, such a forced, gussied up version of what it's like to be a girl, bothers her. the audience comes to the website to consume lacey at her best, at her most presentable, and are instead met with the harsh reality of cockroaches and used condoms. and yet, the audience of lacey games the video series consumes her too, only they are seeking out her trauma, trying to invade her mind and pick it apart. we're all consuming what we want, whatever we find appetizing, of lacey. and for rocio, you get the sense that she is also a tool, a way for rocio to express her inner distress. in that, lacey is put through all this unfortunate shit by rocio to make her more presentable and consumable to her. we are all using lacey, we all see her and eat her and destroy her. and she comes back to us and her cage because the pain's comforting in its familiarity.

in short, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. 👍

#this is not conclusive and it's not edited so it's just me like. shitting out my thoughts full speed #but i hope you guys get it bc like. my mind is scrambled over this rn #lacey games #laceys games #anyway as someone whose mental whatevers lead me to not be able to do stuff i need to do like. constantly #laceys diner hits different. in a small way #and the whole series also hits in like. a gender way (<- im a girl but also im not a girl. + lesbian so. 👍)#like lacey feels transgendah to me in a way. might just be ny particular brain poison though

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