#because holy fucking shit oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

[somerandomdudelmao]

Have to say I'm loving Marble Sky. It's clear you put a lot of thought into the story and I'm excited to see where it's going.

Figured I'd weigh into the Oscar commentary going on and I think honestly the shirt he was wearing in the flashback when Ward was talking about how he ended up in space might say a lot about his character as a whole.

If you don't look at the shirt closely it says "the earth is fla-" and naturally people will fill in the missing 't'. A shirt that seems to support flat earthers is particularly tone deaf given he'd just walked into a building dedicated to science and specifically space. It's the sort of thing people would instantly react to and think lesser of Oscar for. Much like the fact that he comes from a rich family. Or the fact that he seems to embrace the world with puppy like enthusiasm. It creates an image of someone who is ignorant, who doesn't pay attention, and is careless to the point of being arrogant about it.

However looking closely that's not what the shirt says. it's just the text for the rest of it is small, harder to read and purposefully arranged so its divorced from the rest of the larger letters.

And I find that fascinating.

So reading the shirt properly it says "the earth is FLA-bergasting". This message I think has a lot of layers especially combined with Oscar's established fascination with aliens, biology and stuff that we have seen with him previously. It's a message that celebrates the world and all life in it. It's a message that acknowledges that understanding that world is impossible but compelling none the less. It's a message that says the earth is confusing and hard to understand and Oscar is not pretending to know everything about it. Some of this might be just my interpretation of the message so take that with a grain of salt. Still the difference between the first and second is interesting because in the first its a person asserting they know something as complete truth while the second basically admits they don't know anything at all.

Now apply this to Oscar. We're presented with a chaotic lovable doofus who is brimming with childlike wonder at the start of the story. We're presented with a "rich kid" who got into space because his parents paid for it. We're presented with a guy who seems okay with the slaughter of others in order to protect himself. A lot of people are looking at Oscar and seeing "the earth is Fla(t)"

However we've barely scratched the surface of this story or this character not to mention the situation as a whole. So I'm staring at the smaller hidden letters (metaphorically) and wondering exactly what is actually going on with this guy. Because I'm pretty sure "the earth is Fla-bergasting" and so is Oscar.

Thank you for indulging this long ask. I felt like ranting because I love Oscar and this story.

There are three things in this world I can look at forever. How fire burns, how water flows, and how someone carefully analyzes a character in whom I have invested a lot of time and effort.

Holy shit this is incredibly interesting and oh my fucking god you wrote the entire essay?? your brain?? is powerful??rjfkgi

#marble sky ask

[buckttommy]

what if buck dips tommy while they're dancing and tommy loses his mind

PLEASE HE'S GONNA BE SO FLUSHED AND SHOCKED AND EMBARRASSED HE'S NOT EVEN GONNA KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIMSELF. LIKE GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when is the last time tommy has been properly wooed oh my god like yeah buck is like a baby duck the first couple weeks obviously but we've SEEN boyfriend buck in action with abby and tommy isn't going to know what HIT HIM. because he resigned himself (not in a bad way) to being the one to kind of like take the lead on everything and he's fine with that because he really, really likes buck. WAY more than he expected to. and he's cute and charming and fucking adorable so whatever. but when buck gets his sea legs under him and starts wooing tommy back??? and they're dancing together at the wedding and he's being so so attentive and affectionate and flirty because his boyfriend was just a big damn hero and saved the whole thing and holy hell if he's not into that. when he kisses tommy and dips him and tommy just stares up at him with his cheeks all red because holy shit he knew evan was cute but right now he's like. he's hot and in command of his body and the situation and tommy kind of wants to eat him a little bit because now he's the one who feeling all giggly and shy and stupid and just aaaaahhhh !!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#bucktommy #tv: 911 #jack answers mail

[ceilidho]

okay you opened a can of worms by inviting me to share my thoughts but i'm spewing this jumbled mess into your inbox.

i don't know why the fallout price cult leader got the worms WIGGLING as much as they did but it's so, so brilliant. because cults are so, so sneaky. there's a reason why people join them, or are born into them, and never ever leave. they're charismatic. kind. they make the weird acceptable in ways most others wouldn't. like i mentioned before, out of the frying pan and into the fire; except you don't fully realize you're on fire.

price's vault runs so smoothly that no one would ever expect anything sinister because all the inhabitants are completely content, if not thrilled with their lives. they welcome you with open arms, which is much needed and extremely missed after not having real human contact for x amount of time due to distancing because of the sickness that ravaged your old home.

oh god, and new breeding stock? i just know that if you make a comment about it, unsure if they're joking, they pass it off as an archaic term. it's your strong genes. you survived a plague, didn't you? if you eventually choose to wed and have children, it'll strengthen the population. that's it. don't think too hard about it.

but all it is is fucking mind games. they have to rewire your brain if you'll ever be an upstanding citizen of the vault. everything is completely normal, especially the things that make you uncomfortable. it's how they get you. how they hook you in and never let you go. and hell, if they can't train you? good on Mr. Price, our Overseer, to take in such a wreck of a woman. he truly is our good leader, setting such a wild thing straight.

it's like if midsommar and fallout had a fucking child and i'm so here for it. i think this will rot me from the inside out for a few days.

but also the idea of raider!johnny just. fuckin covered in blood after slaughtering the band of raiders for ever dare insinuating that you were anything but his is also hot as fuck. i do love my men feral and disgusting.

omg I forgot to post this the other day because I read it as I was falling asleep but holy shit……please write this I beg of you 😫 sometimes I look back at the way Price spoke to Gaz in MW1, the subtle manipulation of it all, and god. He’d make such a good cult leader.

[luescris]

Okay. *inhales and claps hands together* I just got done finally catching up on things. Spoilers under the cut. :)

my thoughts. Are ALL over the place right now. I have words do describe how absolutely gobsmacked I am, but don't have a planned way to put everything so bare with me. So with that said.

*jumping up and down on my chair* dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons

So many things about dragons holy shit you guys holy shit. Can I say how absolutely GORGEOUS the two teacher dragon designs are like on god?? I forget their names but the purple one is so freaking gorgeous and the black one. Is so complicated.

Like in general everything about this season just absolutely screams to me anime like. dude??? When they showed the Five in their prison thing??? That was some freaking anime shit right there. Literally had like flashbacks to that one dangerous group in Naruto that had nine people in it but this was five but s t i l l

There were so many shots where I wanted to take screenshots because oh my god they were so pretty but Netflix doesn't allow that (fuck Netflix for that personally) but dude the Fighting too?? The animation and lighting and lore and story building and ho ug h/pos

Also holy shit I'm so glad that Jay isn't being portrayed as hiding from the others so he doesn't have to do his job like I feared he genuinely forgot and that's so sad because Nya misses the love of her life (SHE ACTIVELY CALLS HIM THAT TOO AAAAA) and the fact that Lloyd got panic attacks??? And those visions??? And holy shit Kai???????

The amount of dragon lore we are FINALLY getting is so much and so sudden it's hurting my brain but I am not at all complaining right now this was the level of story telling that I absolutely adore it's so full of stuff and it's a goddamned lego show. Is it just me or did they seriously up the anti after Monkie Kid cuz you guys I can't I just can't/pos

Never expected Bonzel to be important but I'm not complaining. Cole has a boyfriend finally. The fucking. Council of the Source Dragons or whatever hovering over Lloyd like that oh man oh boy

And the reveal that Roz (Rahz??) and his "master" is only doing this just for some kinda tournament they keep loosing against the Source Dragons?? Talk about a whole new level of petty what the hell dawg that's. Kind of a little hilarious even ngl

Dude I can't wait for more I literally can't wait I'm vibrating so hard right now and still have endless questions this could go anywhere

I was legit glued to the screen the entire time I was watching like on the edge of my seat the whole time, I thought things would get worse or something but it was just all so intense

And also where the hell is Wu is he actually dead this time??? Is that his ghost????? And where in the world is Pixal??? Zane misses his gf :(((

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #lego #it is super late at night like midnight for me rn but bro my head was buzzing #someone help aaaaaa #luescris

[apieceoftoastedbread]

i just finished working boys. holy shit??/pos

mentions of show spoilers under cut

SO. welcome to my ted talk. i just finished working boys. what. the. FUCK. but like in a good way. i loved it! i watched it with my dad kinda and i was giggling the entire time. i love rob as hidgens but if hidgens was anyone else BESIDES jeff i would have honestly not felt the same about it. jeff did great in the whole thing.

also, RUTHH!!.., MY BABY💔💔 SHE DID NO WRONG. IT WAS HER DEBUT☹️ she did great and i loved the few seconds of screentime she had.

the people in the audience were also making my tism alarm go off. if i can recall it was bill, ted, officer bailey, ms mulberry, richie, grace, gerald, linda, and brenda? those are all the people i can remember. seeing richie and grace go to see ruth actually made me go crazy i love them all SO MUCH. i wanna take richie and shake him. Ted was being a little asshole as always/pos. poor bill was abandoned. AND GERALD AND LINDA? oh my god i love them. i have a love-hate relationship with linda except she doesnt know who i am and would spit on me and i love her but also need her to suffer. I wanted to take the scene where him and linda are cuddling and just stay there forever. officer bailey made me laugh but also how is that man a cop. he just handed grace the gun?? ALSO GRACE IS SO BADASS BUT SHES CRAZY?? SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS!! she started saying sumthing about the lord and i got chills.

the dead workin boys?? that was so sick what??

LIKE?? JON ILY YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH/pos. THIS WAS A JUMPSCARE BUT A GOOD ONE.

I LOVE THIS TOO? I FOR THE LIFE OF ME CANNOT TELL WHO THIS IS BUT THEY LOOK SO SCARY AND SICK I LOVE IT

RAHH I LOVE THIS LOOK. I LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL COMING OUT OF THE MOST UNNATURAL PLACES.

OH MARK YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH MY UNSETTLING LITTLE BABY❤️ PLEASE NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN

THIS IS SUCH A BAD ANGLE BUT ITS STILL SO GOOD?? THEY ALL LOOK SO AWESOME

IDK IF ITS ALL MAKEUP OR CGI OR A MIX BUT WHOEVER DID IT DID GREAT.

THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING. LIKE IDK IF THIS IS ON SPOTIFY OR NOT OR IF I GOTTA UPLOAD WHAT I CAN FIND PRIVATELY FOR MYSELF. STARKID I LOVE YOU.

ALSO THE UNCANNYNESS OF PROFESSOR HIDGENS LAST WORDS BEING “i cant wait to get home to my boys..” WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY GRACE. HE JUST WANTED TO IMPRESS HIS BOYFRIENDS ☹️

uhm uhm im gonna shut up now because my brain is being overwhelmed by over analyzing this but please please please talk to me about this

#starkid #workin boys #working boys #grace chasity #professor henry hidgens #professor hidgens #ruth fleming #hatchetfield #gerald monroe #linda monroe #richie lipschitz #ted spankoffski #bill woodward

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Retro tries to surprise the Vees with a cooked treat during a meeting, unaware a new staff member (someone who wants to take Retro's place as the Vees favourite) has pranked them. Maybe making the cake they baked explode or something? (Points if Retro gets covered in cream because Vox and Val gotta love that until Retro would understandably be upset)

“Hello darling,” I said to Vox. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, then did the same for Valentino and Velvette. I set a box on the table with a treat I’d spent hours making. “I brought your favorite!”

“Oh, our favorite?” Vox asked, raising a brow. “It’s been awhile since you’ve made it, I must say I’m excited to have it.”

“I call dibs!” Velvette said with a grin.

“Hey!” Valentino said, giving her a look. “Mi amor likes me best, so clearly, I’ll have first pick.”

“Calm down,” I said with a small laugh. “At least let me open the box first!”

“Fine…” Val grumbled, crossing his arms.

I opened the box and took the treat out. It was nearly as perfect as I remembered. Nearly. There was one small-

“Fuck!” I yelled, as it exploded in my face. “Holy fucking shit!”

“Oh!” Val said, breaking out in laughter.

“Oh my god, Vox, please tell me you got that on camera,” Velvette said with a grin.

“Of course I did,” he said with a nod. “I have cameras everywhere.”

Meanwhile, I was trying to fix it. I was a mess, my clothes were ruined. It was horrible. I was embarrassed and upset and god- I was such a fucking disaster. “Sorry,” I said quickly, as I frantically tried to do clean it up. “I am so, so sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be like this! It wasn’t- I was-”

I was cut off by the sound of laughter, from one of the newer employees. “Oh my god, that was too easy!” They said, bursting out in laughter again. I was silent, tears still pricking the corners of my eyes. “Such a stupid fucking bitch! Oh, oh! You should’ve seen the look on your face!”

“I…” I said, feeling even more embarrassed. “Sorry…” I said, looking away, utterly humiliated. I tried to go back to cleaning, my hands shaking. I was crying, I realized. I tried to wipe away my tears but my face and my hands still had icing all over them. “Sorry, sorry. God, I’m a disaster,” I said quietly, my voice strained as I tried to get a hold of myself.

“Don’t apologize,” Vox said softly. Velvette came over and helped try to calm me, giving me a handkerchief.

“Oh, are you crying?” The new employee asked with a grin, looking smug. “Fuck, you’re so weak! Learn to take a joke, damn.”

“You need to know your place,” Vox growled, glaring at them. “Leave. Now. Or else.” The demon froze for a moment, but didn’t leave.

“I… I spent hours on this,” I mumbled, wiping away my tears. I clenched my fists. “Hours, trying to make it perfect for you and I just… it’s gone.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Velvette said, rubbing my back.

“I’m sorry, mi amorosa,” Val said softy. “I shouldn’t have laughed. I thought it was apart of the plan, but… I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” I said quickly. “It’s fine. I’m just being dramatic. Overreacting.”

“Damn right,” the new employee muttered, crossing their arms.

“That’s it!” Val said, pulling out his gun. He aimed the pistol right at the demon and would’ve pulled the trigger- but Vox stopped him. “What are you-?”

“Not now,” he said quietly, giving him a pointed look. “Not here.”

The demon ran, not needing to be told to leave this time. Val sighed and put his pistol away. “Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. “Later.”

“Later,” Vox agreed.

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #writing #vox x reader #my writing #x reader #valentino x reader x vox #vox fanfiction #vox hazbin hotel #valentino x reader #vox x reader x valentino #vox x valentino x reader #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #velvette x reader

[jawbone-xylophone]

Okay so I watched ep 17 of Dungeon Meshi and. Guys. Guys I have looked at horny art, I have watched the forbidden videos, but I have NEVER been apocalyptically affected by it the way I was affected by Falin holy shit.

I will not say too much because spoilers but oh my god. Oh my god I need to lie down. I'm demisexual what the fuck is wrong with me.

Okay some spoilers under the readmore.

I hope we get more murder violence next episode that would be neat I think. Got a good eyeful of exactly how dangerous she is and now I need to see her turn an attacking army into a fine red mist. Does she still have ghost magic. Exactly how fucked up is her magic. She was such a nice and gentle tallman I want to see the spells that were too mean to cast and then I want her to grind the corpses into the ground with her massive dragon paws. I want to see her KILL. I want to see her eat someone, and I mean full on dramatic detail of skin stretching and tendons snapping. Just pull someone apart like bloody taffy. Nasty bone snapping sounds. Hungry animal noises like she hasn't eaten in months. God she deserves to kill people.

#thrak speaks #dungeon meshi #falin touden #falin dungeon meshi #i'm so fucking gay

[abbey-abdominal]

DRAW EVIL RAGATHA BEING SUPER PROTECTIVE OF POMNI

you… do you know? that bad girls? go to hell?

#requesties #my thoughts while drawing this: god i hope this doesn't awaken something in me... THEY TOLD ME THINK ABOUT WELL I DID AND I DON'T WANNA FEE #A THING ANYMORE... fuck this is too much... idgaf... im so jealous of pomni... please pomni don't be so hard to draw im tryin put u w with #your wife stupid... oh... oh??? so you're cooperating now... good shut up and kiss her holy shit #*puts head in hands* it did in fact awaken something in me #creepy protective mommy ragatha #and shy concerned creepy pomni #since theres already evil!raggs out there somewhere im dubbing this ragapom “edgelord!ragapom” so #edgelord!ragapom #ragapom #caption is Get Scared lyrics #my art #digital art #sketch sloppy oppy sketch #design switches because I couldn’t give edgelord!ragatha cute curly hair like #in my head this raggs is 4 sure a voodoo doll and not a Raggedy Ann knock off #girl has graduated into goth school 😍 #thanks 4 the requestie #buttonblossom #pomni x ragatha #jesterdoll #doomed digital yuri

[marlenacantswim]

David Tennant Smoking in Fright Night (2011)

bonus:

get it bc he's smoking hahahaaahaha

#i've said it before and i'll say it again: it sucks that smoking is unhealthy and smells nasty #bc oh my lord does it look so attractive #delicately holding something in your mouth while curtained in roiling smoke??? #streaming from your face as you breathe??? #whatever. anyways i need peter vincent. i need him. he'd make the perfect trophy husband. #and if i can't have him then i need david tennant to take more roles where he dresses like this. and wears eyeliner. #because holy fucking shit oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god #running my mouth #made this with my hands #david tennant #fright night 2011 #fright night #peter vincent #cw smoking #cw blood

[emsgwenstan]

Larissa when she shows up at her own funeral with the “did you miss me?” Look.

#holy shit she’s so fucking because the way my jaw dropped oh my god. #larissa weems #gwendoline christie #principle weems #wednesday #gwenchrist(ie)

[apatheticrobots]

i'll make it worth your while~

#little shop of horrors #little shop #lsoh #lsoh twoey #audrey ii #audrey 2 #sal art #so um. guess what i saw at Westside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #holy shit. oh my god. jesus christ #ive never seen a professional production before #and like more power to the volunteers/students whose productions i HAVE seen #by god they did their best considering the challenge this show presents #BUT THE SHEER SCOPE OF THE OFF-BROADWAY ONE??????????????? #first of all i have to shout out to everyones vocal performances because they were absolutely stellar #it was corbin bleu and constance wu and i had no idea the latter could sing?? but she killed it as audrey #AND AARON A. HARRINGTON AS TWOEY.................MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #THE RAAAANGE HE HAS IT ALL #but with that said #Jesus Christ The Puppetry Was Fucking Otherworldly #no pun intended i swear #like. again the volunteer performances did so well considering #but the sheer breadth of the skill difference between them and the professionals #GOD!!!!! GOD. #SHE HAD SO MUCH LIFE. SO DYNAMIC. AND SHE WAS *SILLY* #a lot of twoey's mannerisms were like a combination between a snake and a cat and it was delightful every time #in her final stage especially she had all these little like. head tilts and minute reactions to things #and it just made her feel so ALIVE. #her full-bodied laughs mean everything to me #EVEN WHEN CORBIN WAS DOING THE HANDHELD SHE WAS SILLY!!!!!!! ya never know funniest fucking choreo EVER #UGH ive said enough. ive said enough. i will talk until my tags start getting deleted if i keep going so ill leave it there

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

#uhhh what am I calling this?? #randomizedrobinsau #stephanie brown #oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this. #because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship #with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny #and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying #Tim Drake #tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard #reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass #Dick Grayson #He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this #But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him) #Damian al ghul #damian wayne #oh this is gonna kick ass #Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role #and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable #to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive #Jason Todd #Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass #I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time #But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through #TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring

[ascendingtostardust]

No one talk to me ever again

(x)

#what the FUCK #I literally stopped breathing when I saw this #she has more pics in that tweet I’m begging you to go through them #because oh my GOD #I’m genuinely in awe of this man holy shit #sam kiszka

[qoldwater]

As a former boyfriend to a toxic bitch like this, I cannot stress enough how much I don't listen to Taylor Swift, but this? Oh id frame this in my house and look at it everytime I need a reminder that yeah, bitches like this are really out there.

Take me for example, my dad died and then a best friend IN REAL LIFE committed suicide, and I wasn't giving her enough attention BECAUSE GRIEF OVER THE DEATH OF TWO PEOPLE I VERY MUCH LOVED HOLY SHIT so this was almost what was sent to me verbatim before being dumped with a, and I shit you not, 'godspeed 💅🏻'. So yeah I very much believe in the brainrot miss swift causes because the fact I got dumped with a line that wasn't even out, from her favorite artist, fucking MONTHS AND MONTHS before this drops? Yeah fuck you.

YES!!! IT IS INSENSITIVE!!!!

I lost better when I lost my father, and gods I hope you see this because I don't have the ability to say it to your wicked and beyond fucking cruel face.

#swifties if you could do me this solid and spread this around so my ex sees this I will love you forever #taylor swift #swiftie #im being so serious that this happened to me #the lyrics came up randomly on my dash through a my chem blog and I lost my SHIT #had to know immediately if it was her lyric and it wAS #i was so floored i did a jig because holy shit was that so easy to look and be like oh yeah this was definitely taylor swift #bitches really act like that #and believe theyre not at all in the wrong #fucking gods forbid men grieve #tay tay #anti taylor swift #anti swift #im using all the tags I can think of dbsjdhd #which is not a lot #anti swifties #cw taylor swift #tw taylor swift #Im using ALL tags because fans and antis alike I think you all need to see this because this is the shit shes producing in people #WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM #ME? #I HOPE THIS FINDS YOU #ttpd #taylor swift ttpd #the tortured poets department

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

i started naruto a few years ago and made it to like the second arc in shippuden before stopping so i never made it to the kakashi backstory but....your notes compel me. tell me more.

okay so like take this with several grains of salt because the sum total of my sources here are "my understanding of the plot and characters as synthesized from the Abridged Revised Illustrated Edition my datemate's been writing me over the last two months", a handful of clips, and the only three (3) episodes of this 600+ episode show i've seen in my life, none of the three of which were relevant to the kakashi backstory

h o w e v e r

oh my god. my dude. my man. [holds him up like longcat] there is so much wrong with you and i'm enthralled.

so like here's the thing. here's the big takeaway that i'm understanding. this whole series is an ongoing exercise in generational trauma bullshit and everyone trying so hard to course-correct from their own tragic backstories that they accidentally set up their kids/students to have completely different but still somehow exactly the same tragic backstories, and naruto's chronic case of shounen anime power-of-friendship-itis is, i mean. yes it's him being the platonic ideal of Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass but it's also a direct response to seeing ninja society's perpetual tragic backstory generator and going "this is bullshit, why are we even fighting? tell me what your side is, and i'll tell you what our side is, and then we can figure out how to make our sides the same side so none of us have to fight about it at all!" and honestly i love that but this ain't about him

so like. to explain kakashi we have to explain kakashi's father sakumo first. because sakumo was one of konoha's powerhouses, been on tons of successful missions, well-liked, well-respected, one of the earliest and loudest adopters of konoha's then-new and radical pivot towards a ninja being people first and disposable tools never ideology.

he really, genuinely believed in that.

except then he and his team went on a mission. and it went really, really badly. and he had to choose between completing the mission objective or saving his teammates' lives, and he chose their lives, because those who fail their missions may be scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse, right?

... no, actually.

just because the ideology had been circulating and people were broadly toeing the party line didn't mean they actually believed in it, and sakumo's mission failure was already causing critical backlash.after sakumo made it back to konoha he was a fucking pariah for it. he was never officially reprimanded, but he didn't need to be if people went out of their way to personally spit at his feet, and... one day young kakashi comes home to find his father's body on the floor, wrists slit and suicide note devolving into begging apologies beside him.

this, as you may imagine, fucked him up, and didn't exactly predispose him towards believing the party line about the value of life.

he gets put on a genin team that was. basically the alpha build of the sasuke-sakura-naruto team dynamic. because it was him, and rin the healer girl with a massive crush on him who he never gave the time of day, and obito the Loudest High-Vis Uchiha Who Ever Lived who had a massive crush on her, and minato their teacher who was doing his absolute best to try and get them through to understanding each other, which is an Ordeal

because kakashi at this point has internalized that the party line is pretty lies for the gullible, that his teammates are only there to drag him down, and it drives obito nuts because that's the same exact bullshit that his family keeps spouting that he's rejected as thoroughly as a 12.9-year-old can, how does kakashi not see that it's bullshit? and there's rin who's looking at kakashi like i can fix him?? and getting upset when he doesn't let them in at all or even really visibly care that they're trying, and it's one hell of a dysfunction junction but minato is working on it.

... and then the worst happens. their team is caught out alone and everything goes wrong. rin is captured and obito's body is half-crushed under a rock and one of kakashi's eyes got slashed out and none of them are going to make it out of this, at this rate, until obito calls kakashi closer and tells him to take his eye. take the sharingan. he'd give him both but the other one got squished. kakashi will do more with it than obito ever did, so use it to save rin. please. and here's kakashi in the middle of field surgery on his dying teammate finally, horribly realizing that sometimes the win condition is, actually, protecting your friends, and he's already lost. but he can still try to save rin, it was obito's dying wish.

by the time he found her it was already too late.

the people who'd captured her had tried, poorly, hastily, messily, to seal one of the Tailed Beasts into her, and she was already dying. she had a demon thrashing in her soul that was tearing her to shreds around it and all kakashi could do was mercy kill her

and she thanked him for it.

and he goes back to konoha, sole survivor of his team, charred by the newfound comprehension of why you have to care and what it feels like to lose what you love and with obito's sharingan in his head and rin's blood on his hands and something in him that was already hanging on by a thread finally snapped.

and the only thing he could think to do, the only way he could even parse that grief through, is to just... make himself into a living memorial to them. he started trying to live as obito. adopt his mannerisms, his interests, craft his entire adult persona around his memories of his friend like a grave offering, and quarantine the bleakly mercenary anything-to-get-the-job-done ice in him off into the hound mask he wore as part of konoha's black ops division, which he joined at the ripe old age of way too fucking young.

he uses the sharingan to incredibly brutally efficient effect, copying enemy jutsus and bringing them back until the library's overflowing with them. but in the end, no matter how many he can technically use, they're still just cheap copies. and so is he.

and in the meantime the uchiha are collectively losing their shit about this random outside kid having one of their eyes in his head and getting all kinds of dubious 'glory' with it, and oh, wouldn't you look at that, they have a prodigy too!

... yeah.

itachi gets shoved through the rank advancements on a timeframe of "whatever he did you have to do it faster and better." and then the kyuubi broke free. and minato and kushina died, and a fuckton of the home guard uchiha died, and suddenly he's the most able-bodied fighter in their clan overnight at age 11 and the uchiha pull strings to get him into ANBU as well.

and kakashi is his teammate.

kakashi is his teammate and kakashi sees in itachi a whole awful lot of the edges of the way kakashi used to be, sees itachi trying to live up to and embody the absolutely impossible ideal of the perfect ninja, and he tries so god damn hard to nudge him gently towards something, anything, other than that.

but in the meantime, the uchiha have been... scheming. with danzo, Guy With The World's Biggest Chip On His Shoulder About Not Being Hokage, who's been marinating in a paranoia spiral for years. danzo had tried to set himself up as kakashi's palpatine, and tried to get him to assassinate hiruzen, and kakashi hears him out, and turns right around and goes to hiruzen with it instead, and danzo is pissed. the uchiha are pissed. danzo warns hiruzen that they're almost definitely going to try again and they're gonna make the uchihas' little prodigy do it this time, and kakashi silently braces to have to fight and maybe kill his teammate he was trying so hard for, and then...

and then itachi, who'd been watching his clan get. worse. for a long time. finds his cousin shisui, his best friend shishui, bleeding out in the dirt, who tells him everything, tells him danzo tried to have shisui killed for finding it out, and it worked, he's dying, but he's not dead yet, so please. make it count.

.......................................... And Then The Uchiha Massacre.

and now itachi is one more person that kakashi tried to care about who got destroyed.

and then fast forward a little bit further, he's been retired from active-duty ANBU after a decade-plus of service because the sharingan is starting to burn him out, he's starting to lurch to a halt like unwound clockwork without something to Do, and... he gets given team seven. the worst of konoha's gremlin children.

a bitter, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the skill to back it up, the healer girl with a crush on him that he never gives the time of day, and the Loudest High-Vis Pest In The Village.

you see where this is going.

kakashi who at this point has been coasting along by bouncing between mask-personae for years is now having to dynamically engage with life again because if he isn't present and actively responding to his team then there's a nonzero chance he'll turn around to find all three of them chewing on the drywall and he cannot default to scripted responses because they don't work on a pack of middle schoolers hellbent on squabbling til the cows come home. and it's kind of good for him?

but also, uh. [gestures broadly towards... Sasuke(TM) and the rest of the plot]

and yeah i'm not gonna get too much further into it because i'm not confident enough in my own comprehension of the timeline to do that XD but like.

hatake kakashi is a scarecrow of a man stitched together out of his dead best friend, a hunting hound, and his dead best friend again, who's spent his entire life behind one mask or another, who over the course of the series keeps surviving shit that by all odds he shouldn't have, or survives specifically because the people he cares about throw their plot armor around him before they die, and he has a personality mostly composed of the crumpled-up pages of the memetically worst-written trashy bodice-ripper novels ever published because obito used to love them and the inexplicable receipts of other people's love for him, and i want to put him in a gas station hot dog roller and perceive him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk XD

#answered asks by cwaf #snorlaxlovesme #kakashi hatake #naruto #yeah so like this very much is a thirdhand synthesis Take on it XD but oh my god. holy shit #this series is a masterclass in what is quite possibly the oldest story beat humanity has ever had #which is 'growing up realizing that your adult is fucked up because Their Adult was fucked up because THEIR ADULT was fucked up' #'and responding to it by either becoming them; becoming as different from them as possible; or a secret third thing' #anyway here i am showing up to the weeb-ubiquitous kakashi stan phase 20 years late with starbucks lmao #mr from-accounting you have so many things wrong with you and i love that for me

[ghost-proofbaby]

Hi ghost! Wanted to ask you, if you would be ok with me binding twenty four hours into a book for myself. I love the fic so much and it would be a dream to get to bind it🩶

absolutely under one condition:

you've gotta show me alllll the pictures once you do!! <3

no but seriously. this ask just made me cry. you guys absolutely can bind my fics if you truly want to, as long as it's just for yourselves and you're not reselling them or anything. alright. going back into my corner to sob now because someone likes my writing enough to want a physical fucking copy. god you just made my day my dear

#thank u ily <3 #seriously i fucking love you so much what the hell #y'all have permission to bind any of my fics into books for yourselves as long as you show me all the photos because *what the fuck* #that's so fucking cool i am genuinely crying #just no selling on etsy please and thank you but HOLY SHIT #this is just. gah. oh my god.