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tesshoundi · 1 year

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Mystery Magnets Volume 1 chapter 3

(AN I wrote this chapter after watchin BetaEtaDelota’s video on synths and I defiantly got things wrong but they aren’t particularly importaint to the plot as they’re just their to make our big villain scarier so if it bother you just imagine they are any other biomechanical species as it doesn’t matter storywise)

Mick had been released from the hospital a few days ago and he was having constant headaches. He didn’t know what had happened, he just remembered waking up feeling something wet on his face then realizing he was bleeding. Then he was in the bathroom and Finick was cradling him. Then he woke up in the hospital.

Quinn and Alfred had called them all over to check out something they’d found. Whatever it was it caused them to freak out with how loud they were being. Even without the speaker Jasmine had been able to hear it from upstairs from his position at the landline downstairs. Mick had tossed on his striped shirt and suspenders. Before he left he grabbed his favorite hat and put it on finding finick waiting for him with his grey jacket.

When they arrived Mick spotted Bronzing wearing her snowman christmas sweater which was odd as it was still October. The next thing Mick spotted was a large open hatch with some rope going down into it.

“Is this what you guys found?” Mick asked, pointing at it.

“Yeah we found a bunch of bodies,” Quinn said, seeming scared.

“Bodies?” Mick asked “Like old or?”

“Old metal bodies” Alfred answered, hearing the apprehension in his voice.

“Metal?” Finick asked

“Yeah they were similar to you but also completely different if you know what I mean” Quinn responded

“Whatever’s down there we’ll figure out what happened!” Bronzing said excitedly, holding up the magnifying glass she’d brought.

“So we’re going into the mystery hatch with dead bodies in it with no plan?” Mick asked, “That’s what we’re doing?”

“Pretty much I mean how are we supposed to plan something like this.” Alfred responded as she prepared to climb down the rope

When everyone was inside They started climbing into the room that looked like a control room with Alfred pointing out the head on the floor. Finick seemed uncomfortable with the way he shifted from foot to foot.

“What’s that?” Mick pointed to some odd symbols on the wall.

“That wasn’t there last time we were here.” Alfred said noticing them as well

“They look familiar” Mick said “I think i’ve seen these before in one of my mom’s books”

“Maybe whoever was spying on us put them there,” Quinn said from the corner of the room.

“Someone was spying on you?” Bronzing asked “Interesting”

“We don’t know if they were spying on us, we just know someone else was here” Alfred explained.

“They were spying on us” Quinn argued

“Yeah and your old neighbor was an octopus” Alfred responded sarcastically

“This isn’t about that though I maintain that he is a cephalopod” Quinn argued back

“Anyways” Mick started trying to steer the conversation back towards the current situation. Everyone knew that if this was allowed to continue the calamari incident would come up and then the rest of the conversation would go downhill from there. “We’ve seen all we can in her how about we check out the other rooms”

“Good idea” Bronzing said as she too didn’t want this conversation to continue. The group headed into the room with the bodies and bullet holes, everyone's eyes widening with the exception of Quinn and Alfred. Finick continued to look uncomfortable as his eyes scanned the room seeing the bloodless remains of violence.

“Hey Finick?” Alfred asked

“Y-yes?” Finick stuttered

“You have a database on artificial life forms right?”

“I-I do” Finick responded

“Could you see if you could find out what these are?”

“Sure” Fincik looked through his database though he knew what they were already. “These are Synths a nanite based artificial species that went extinct”

“Extinct?” Mick Questioned

“Y-Yeah” Finick stuttered

“You’re not telling us something,” Bronzing Said suspicion in her eyes.

“The reason they went extinct was because of my species, okay?” Finick said “Maybe I’m not comfortable with talking about the worst conflict in the history of the universe.

“Worst conflict?” Mick asked.

“Yeah the Synths weren't even involved, the older protogens just felt threatened by them so they dragged them into the conflict.”

“So protogens didn’t like synths so when they got a chance they wiped them out?” Bronzing asked

“Yeah this isn’t some kind of war spacecraft, it was likely carrying nanites which are necessary for nanite based life to live.” Finick said

“Well then I guess we figured out this mystery” Bronzing said awkwardly “Anyone else want to go home?” The rest of the group agreed and started to head out when they saw a furred figure with light gray feathery wings.

“What the?” Alfred started but suddenly the roof started clanking causing the figure to bolt behind some boxes. From the hatch came two figures someone who looked like Quinn but with Green instead of dark gray mixed with their red fur and a certain protogen.

“Ficky?” Finick asked in fear as she approached the group.

“Suzie?” Quinn asked, recognizing his cousin.

“Gotcha” Ficky said as she raised her cannon aiming it at the group. As her shot fired Finick dove into his friends knocking them down making her shot pierce the wall instead. This just riled her up more. Suzie backed up towards the wall so she wouldn’t get in the way. Ficky lunged at Finick who tried to roll away from her. As the two wrestled Bronzing grabbed onto Ficky while she motioned for everyone else to get out.

Mick was closest to the rope but as he approached it Suzie hit him across the face with a wrench spraying blood across the ground as his nose was busted. His body reacted poorly to the further loss of blood as it freely poured out of his nostrils, his vision swimming as he struggled to stay upright. Bronzing had tossed Ficky a few feet away and as she headed towards the rope she knocked the wrench free from Suzie’s grip as she helped Mick up the rope.

They loaded into Quinn’s van allowing them to drive away before Ficky could latch on. She tried to chase them but was stopped by Suzie’s hand the two of them then headed into Suzie’s car to head off.

#digital art #furry #sfw furry #furry oc #original story #old work #embarrassing mistakes

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posedthreat · 3 years

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MORE HEADCANONS : during civil war, quinn was not granted the same courtesies that the other avengers were. where they were told to either sign the accords or retire (though not quite in such nice terms), he was quite literally told that if he did not sign them, he would be imprisoned. this came about for more than a few reasons, but most notably it’s because of who he was. by this time, the predator killer suit and the biomechanics within it have begun to fundamentally change his DNA - and, as someone whom the government couldn’t hope to control if he chose not to obey (predominantly because of the suit), they collectively made the decision that if he did not agree to the accords, he would be declared an enemy of the state and imprisoned almost immediately. the rest of the team, naturally, were not made aware of the fact that this was the only option given to him. he was separated from the group before bucky and steve and everyone were taken in, and privately told about this ultimatum, and he was forced to sign it before it was brought to steve and the others, making it seem as if he was on tony’s side, even though that was not even remotely close to the truth regarding his feelings towards the situation. this was pretty much the only decision that quinn makes for himself after taking up the mantle and the suit, because he’d made the decision to give up his life in order to protect the world, and had essentially done exactly that - but this, despite the fact that he didn’t agree with what was in the accords or with the idea as a whole, was something he had to do to avoid imprisonment, so he could at the very least see his son, which he would not be able to do otherwise.

#Mɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ Rᴇᴘᴏʀᴛ:// headcanons — it was the summer of ‘69

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aren-hai · 4 years

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Clarence, Sheryl, and Avocato

Another rant because these are fun. This time featuring the holy trifecta of fucked up parents!

Ok so, I can hear y'all already, “But Avocato is a good dad! He died for his son! He did all the things for his boy! You even said so!” Shut up I did. I did say those things because Avocato is one of my favorite characters, but he is objectively not the best parent. (Especially when compared to Nightfall or Gary)

List of Crimes!

Never verbally told Lil’Cato he loved him (Actions speak louder than words but kids need to hear that!)

Aggressively strict parenting (“Fourteen years of pure calisthenics!)((And also this could just be me, Super strict parenting just, isn’t for me. But I know it’s not necessarily abuse? It's complicated I mostly added this one to make the list bigger))

And the biggest one, Almost killed his son. Yes he didn’t, but Lil’Cato will always fucking remember the moments where his dad pointed a gun at him, and considered. It should have never been an option. And again I hear you, “But he was working for Lord Commander! He had no choice! He was emotionally fucked up!”

This is all true! But he shouldn’t have put Lil’Cato in that scenario in the first place. Obviously, we don’t know why he worked with Lord Commander for so long, but the second he found out that filicide was necessary, he should have grabbed his son and ran for the hills.

All this being said, however. He isn’t the worst parent in Final Space.

Even though he did consider killing his son, he didn’t. And very quickly tried to give Lord Commander a pink slip via shooting the jerk in the face. He then dedicates the literal rest of his life to saving his son. No, that doesn’t make up for the neglect and trauma, but it’s a lot better then what the other characters on this list do.

Sheryl! Oh Sheryl, you polarizing force you. Some people love you and will defend your actions to the death, others will actually go on terrifying rants about what they would do to you, given the chance. I’ve already ranted about some of your failings, but also how the show kinda wrote you to be hated.

List of Crimes!

Didn’t (and doesn’t!) love Gary

Abusive

Neglectful (Oooooh boy, literally leaving his life, and only coming back when John died. She didn’t comfort the grieving Gary at all, only staying around long enough to drunkenly mope, and then leaving again)

Also, like everyone on this list, tries to kill her child!

Ok, now here’s where it gets fun. Sheryl does try to commit filicide, but she does it while Gary is an adult. Avocato and Clarence both do it when their children are still children. Young and dependant and trusting. Sheryl does it while Gary is a grown ass adult.

This is an important distinction? All of it’s gonna be traumatizing, but Gary had already lived a large bit of his life not knowing/hating his mom. Her trying to stab him (especially when he saw it coming.) is going to be way less traumatic than when Avocato held Lil’ Cato at gunpoint. Or when Clarence blindsided Fox.

Again! Not absolving her of her mistakes! She left Gary at his lowest moment, and only came back in his life after he sought her out, and then used him in a con. She is the world's shittiest mom, but I really hope to see her grow and be a better person and care for Gary. A) Because Gary deserves to be happy and a parental figure could go a really long way in that regard. B) Because Sheryl herself deserves it. We don’t know enough about her past to crucify her, all we know is that she is a flawed person who made massive mistakes, but who isn't? Olan made a beautiful world with amazing characters that aren’t black and white! Characters with depth and reasons behind their actions, characters who might have great intentions and still cause harm! (Quinn, Nightfall, and Avocato all sacrificing themselves RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR LOVED ONES. I GET IT, YOU HAD NO CHOICE, BUT LOOK AT THEM (Gary, Ash, and Lil’ Cato) THEY HAVE TRAUMA NOW).

And with all that talk about the characters being fully fleshed out people who are beautiful, let's talk about my least favorite character of all time. Clarence

This… Might get a bit character bashy, which I hate. Blackkat is right, if you can’t write a character without bashing them, you shouldn’t write them at all. Which I fully believed in, until I started writing and realised “Oh my God Clarence ticks off every irredeemable box I have I hate him so much.”

So, I’ll try to be unbiased? That being said, I am heavily biased and want Clarence to die.

So why do I hate Clarence? Why is he so much worse than the other characters on this list, on the show? Why do I think Hushfluffles/Tom deserves more mercy than this little goblin?

List of Crimes!

Abusive

Dismissive of his children

Betrayal

And the most successful attempt at Filicide we get to see so far.

He betrays the group, steals the keys and is going to ‘team-up’ with Sheryl. (I mean I’m not straight but I get it, Sheryl is a badass fighter, cool bandit, and if you don’t care for morals she’s an all-around interesting gal)

Fox is going to let him go, Fox wants him to stop, but he also won’t hurt his father.

Clarence in turn, tazes him, shorting out his biomechanical life support and sending him falling into the metal wall.

Later we find out that Clarence didn’t intend to kill Fox, that he only wanted the keys and was lashing out because his kids found a new family to love. And they didn’t love him as much.

Look I’m running out of steam but Clarence is selfish and self-serving (1) He’s greedy (2) And he actively hurts his family (3) Not just a passive, I’m sorry for the trauma when I almost killed you, let me make it up. Or the, hey I abandoned you shortly after birth because I never really planned on loving anyone, let alone you. Sheryl and Avocato fucked up bad, but they try to make up for it (Sheryl we only see being ‘good’ for about 5 minutes, but still) Clarence only apologizes once he realizes he has nothing left, all because of his own greed.

“I abandoned everything I had in the world for you! You can’t leave me with nothing!

“Aw yeah, but you see, you left yourself with nothing.”

#final space #avocato #sheryl goodspeed #clarence

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thisyearingaming · 4 years

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2011 - This Year in Gaming

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective - Nintendo DS, January 11th

A quirky adventure game where you are fucking dead, and you gotta work out who killed you. Ghost Trick is like Ace Attorney at first glance - it looks similar, and is made by effectively the same development team. Give it a shot on iOS.

Dead Space 2 - Multiplatform, January 25th

Dead Space 2 was the undisputed king of alien horror until Alien: Isolation released. Yeah, you battle massive acid-spitting aliens, but it’s the necromorph babies you’re gonna be shit-scared of. It isn’t quite as unique as it’s predecessor, but it’s definitely much better to play. Bring your brown pants.

The Nintendo 3DS Releases - March 27th

The 3DS was like magic when you first fired the 3D slider all the way up - then it became a gimmick you never used again. Releasing with a few decent launch titles and being able to boast Street Fighter IV as playable, the 3DS arguably didn’t really pick up much steam until a few months after launch. While more powerful than the original DS which was six years old at the time, I can’t remember being particularly interested in it at the time.

Portal 2 - Multiplatform, April 19th

Valve’s final single player experience until their jump into VR was a bloody good one - very funny and amusingly written with the best Steve Merchant performance since The Ricky Gervais Show, Portal 2′s puzzle solving adventure is rarely a chore to play through, and has thousands of custom maps courtesy of the Steam community.

L.A. Noire - Multiplatform, May 17th

Rockstar’s foray into adventure games has stood the test of time as an enjoyable and often startling journey nto the seedy underbelly of 1947 Los Angeles - as Cole Phelps you’ll threaten a Jewish man with the gas chamber, arrest a paedophile instead of a clearly guilty father, quote Hamlet to a prop skull at the scene of a car crash, destroy thousands of dollars of property, and yell at a child whose mother’s just been murdered. Great fun!

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The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Windows

CDPR hit it out of the park with a fantastically improved sequel to 2007′s Eurojank diamond in the rough The Witcher, and really introduce Geralt of Rivia to more people for the first time with this game. A branching story that sees Geralt hunting Letho, the killer of King Foltest, and allying either with smelly hippy elven leader Iorveth and his terrorists who don’t appear in the sequel or the very cool but quite racist Vernon Roche and his special forces group, who are supporting characters in the sequel.

Alice: Madness Returns - Multiplatform, June 14th

A surprisingly charming, unsettling dive into the fractured psyche of the Victorian equivalent of an actual goth gf, Alice is a sequel to American McGee’s Alice from 2000. Surreal as fuck and absolutely drowning in atmosphere. Just don’t look at any of the YouTube comments on videos of the soundtrack. Rather bizarre show...

Duke Nukem Forever - Multiplatform, June 14th

Sometimes it’s best NOT to bet on the Duke. I bought this game to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I did neither - DNF is fucking boring, and I blame it ALL on Randy Pitchford’s devotion to ruining things I like. DNF could’ve been brilliant - either embrace your heritage like Doom Eternal would eventually do, or make it into a “last hurrah” kind of thing where Duke realises he’s getting old and can’t kick ass forever. The greatest disappointment of the 2010s so far - but worse would follow with it. The King is dead - hail to the King, baby.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Multiplatform, August 23rd

The piss-tinted prequel to 2000′s excellent conspiracy RPG Deus Ex, Human Revolution is like smashing Robo-Cop into a world where Detroit is not a humanitarian disaster zone. Adam Jensen, the gravelly-voiced biomechanically enhanced security chief of David Sarif, is dragged into a world of American conspiracies involving FEMA death camps, the government enforcing martial law in US cities and massive Chinese conglomerates plotting to control the world. Just like real life! DXHR is my favourite in the series for its design, atmosphere and narrative.

Dead Island - Multiplatform, September 6th

Eh. Wasn’t that good. Notable for having the most misleading fucking trailer since Metal Gear Solid 2, but nowhere near as fulfilling upon release. An open world zombie survival game with a focus on melee weapons more fragile than your granny’s second hip. Oh great, now there’s a dead kid on my page. Thanks, Techland!

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Driver: San Francisco - Multiplatform, September 6th

A game you literally can’t buy anymore, DSF was incredible to play when it came out and has only really gotten better with time. It’s still so unique for a driving game that I’m surprised Ubisoft have had the good sense to just leave it and not go pants-on-head retarded with the franchise since. Nick Robinson had to buy Subway gift cards just to purchase this game.

Batman: Arkham City - Multiplatform, October 18th

Arkham City was so cool at launch and it still is today. A proper Batman epic with twists, turns, and the most addictive combat arena for years. This whole thing is gold from start to finish, except for the Harley Quinn DLC. I can’t even go into detail about it here, but I fucking LOVE this game.

Sonic Generations - Multiplatform, November 1st

Sonic Generations is the best Sonic game since 3 & Knuckles, but has now unfortunately convinced Sega that not only do people despise the Adventure games, they also really want to see Classic Sonic and Green Hill EVERY GODDAMN DAY. Generations is like a proper celebration of Sonic’s history, even including stuff from every reviewer’s favourite punching bag Sonic 2006 - I really like Generations and it has a stellar modding scene on PC.

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception - Sony PlayStation 3, November 1st

The “finale” of the Uncharted series until Naughty Dog decided it wasn’t. Uncharted 3 may not be as tight as Among Thieves, but it’s just as enjoyable. As quipping invincible action hero Nathan Drake, you’ll ruin historical artifacts and “incapacitate” about 4000 guys in your quest to find Iram of the Pillars, chased by Cruella de Ville and her mercenary squad of a million faceless Englishmen.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - Multiplatform, November 8th

God I was so excited for this. World War 3 never looked cooler, and then it came out - and it wasn’t that good. It didn’t feel as epic as MW2, not as well-written as MW, and not as interesting as World at War and Black Ops. Multiplayer was... fine? I think this is the point where most people realised that Call of Duty was basically downhill from here.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Multiplatform, November 11th

See this paragraph? You can read it. Another installment in Bethesda’s cross-franchise “Little Lies” series, Skyrim has been released more times than China’s created a pandemic. But it’s still really good and when you rub it the right way it comes all over your screen like a particularly excited storyteller, ready to point in the direction of adventure.

Super Mario 3D Land - Nintendo 3DS, November 13th

Yeah this was the point I decided I wanted a 3DS. It looked incredible and so fluid, and it really was! Playing this was great fun. That’s really all there is - I can’t be funny about it, nor overly critical. What do you want from me?

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations - Multiplatform, November 15th

I didn’t like this when it came out - I thought the new graphic style was bad, Constantinople was dull, and the music was too different. Ezio was angrier, older, and the complete lack of any supporting cast from Brotherhood had me thinking this was a game that nobody wanted to work on - but now that I’m older, I can see this for how good it really was. Revelations blends the Ezio and Altair stories together, culminating in a satisfying emotional climax.

Saints Row: The Third - Multiplatform, November 15

This video speaks for itself.

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Minecraft - Windows, November 18th

There’s something beautiful about those early builds of Minecraft. Quiet, unassuming, and riddled with potential for exploration. I could talk for hours about the first time I was thrown into Mojang’s survival experience, about how I still get a bit weepy hearing Wet Hands by C418, about how shit-scared I still am of the mines and caves. Minecraft is immortal, and always will be.

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news-wtf · 3 years

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Marine biologists have known for a while that the secret lies somewhere in the way they can alter the rigidity of their tails. The problem is that it’s difficult to measure that while a fish swims. However, using a combination of fluid dynamics and biomechanics, researchers from the University of Virginia say they’ve derived a formula that not only provides an answer to that question but also allows a robot with a specially designed tail to be nearly as good as its natural counterpart at speeding up and slowing down in water.

When they applied the formula to a tuna-like robot they built, they found it could swim at a greater variety of speeds using almost half as much energy as one with a fixed-stiffness tail. If you’re a cyclist, you’ll love this analogy. "Having one tail stiffness is like having one gear ratio on a bike," Dan Quinn, one of the co-authors of the study, told Big Think. "You'd only be efficient at one speed. It would be like biking through San Francisco with a fixed-gear bike; you'd be exhausted after just a few blocks."

With a tuna-sized machine under their belt, the University of Virginia team plans to scale their tail technology for use on both bigger and smaller robots. They’re also developing one that undulates like a stingray. Their work could one day lead to a class of drones that can quickly travel to a remote location and then slow down to investigate the area. Like an aquatic snakebot, that's something the Navy could use to inspect their ships for damage.

#tomorrow

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biomechanical-quinn · 3 months

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"I need to violently fuck Maul after that scene where he's talking to the Pyke syndicate leader. Tough man in the streets, moaning submissive in the sheets."

#darth maul #maul opress #biomechanical quinn #quinn talks

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crimmson · 7 years

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Fuck it I cant finish my work so I'll type up that dream

There were some earlier parts to it, like one of them was Harley Quinn and catwoman meeting poison ivy for the first time. It's super duper hazy, but I remember Harley and Selina falling or getting thrown by an explosion or something while fighting/trying to escape from Batman, but they were definitely gonna go splat. Except Poison Ivy caught them in a tangle of vines and she was like, super hippie. She seemed to be half in her own world and nodding along to a song only she could hear. Harley and Selina were both like 'what do you think you're doing' and Pam was just like, 'that's no way to thank the person who just saved you but ok hi'

There was some middle part where they were riding on the subway and then they were at some hidden safe where Pam apparently had a ffffffuckton of money stashed. I don't know why they were getting it though.

And then the weird shit. So like, all of the DC heroes and villains united, along with these weirdo little creatures that kinda looked like the weird little guys from the spirit world in Avatar/Legend of Korra, to stop this massive techno-organic threat. Kinda like reapers from Mass effect, although there were less foot soldiers and a lot more just... Giant tendrils and structures that could move around and absorb people? Not without a fight, but still. There were also some hazy shapes in the sky, some we're freefloating but for others these tendrils seemed to stretch impossibly high up and connect to them.

I guess Poison Ivy was one of their major points of defense (which, makes sense I guess, since she can command swaths of the environment counter these things) because people were sacrificing themselves to keep her alive and give her time to get away from these tendrils and shit. But I guess eventually, she just couldn't take people "dying" (were they dying? I don't even know what the absorption was doing) over and over for her so she just summoned a massive amount of roots and branches and general Planty shit to keep this biomechanical shit at bay long enough for everyone to retreat, and sacrificed herself in the process. And as she was getting absorbed, one of these weird little spirit dude's shapeshifted into Harley so that Pam could kiss her one last time before she died. Which, like, sweet idea in theory but she just kissed some rando which is kinda creepy.

But it was all kinda ok! Because right at that moment everything switched to Harley and Pam sleeping in their pajamas in bed, and Pam's brow just furrowed a little bit and she shimmied in closer to Harley. So either it was an Inception situation, or some sort of alternate universe thing and Pam just sorta knew that another version of her died or something idk comics are weird

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quinnred · 10 months

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The Swords Grow wild: Avtoxier (Toxotes) Descendants of organic personal firearms, Avtoxier are an incredibly diverse group that makes up much of the Heliconia's biosphere, similar to Earth's insects and rodents. Toxotes are aquatic Avtoxier that generally hunt through suction feeding, or via a symbiotic relationship with Volipods, descendants of ammunition that generally act as digestive or reproductive extensions of Toxotes. Some Volipods exist as magazine-organ spawned organisms within the host Toxote body, while others exist freely as a separate entity until consumed by a Toxote. Many species are not purely of ancient origin, being re-modified into weapons by an unknown colonist species and later abandoned to go feral once again.

#quinn red #art #The Swords Grow Wild #biomechanical #fish #gun #sci fi #alien

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goodsoldierlifestyle · 7 years

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Drive: Part One of a series of many

A fearsome giant named Tony Robbins bellows at a television camera on a dolly as he strides forward. “What you lack is the fire, the fire inside you, without this, there’s no wonder why your marriage failed, why you aren’t advancing in your career, that the money you do make doesn’t make you happy. I can show you how to regain that fire. To take it back and keep it lit forever!” Distortions are seen as his pre-historic shout distorts the camera lens on a microcrystal level.

After this ogre runs out of catwalk we’re left in a moment of contemplation as text and photos of notable people scroll across the screen.

This raises two questions. One, is Tony Robbins the re-emergence of an extinct race of giant hominids, scattered by the Athenians into a cavern sanctuary, and with them, only one work of writing, an unknown work of Heraclitus, passed down for hundreds of generations, describing the world not composed of a logos and metaphorically referred to as fire, but of a true fire that is the essence of all things. This manuscript may have contained instructions for rites involving the swallowing of fire, emerging a body in fire and it rising unharmed, testing all ideas and actions with flame. This is what many Tony Robbins scholars, including the lauded Thomas Quinn and Julietta Kazimiera Duda claim.

Perhaps in hopes of preserving the knowledge of his dying species, Tony Robbins charges both average and very special people, who appear on TV daily, a fee to walk over hot coals without being burned, due to what he calls the fire within. He also encourages them to lash out emotionally “freeing inner fire.”

Does Tony Robbins have secret knowledge that reveals the human body as but one composite of furnaces, in a world similarly fractally built of furnaces and fireplaces, with flames burning brightly and lightly depending on the context and item in question?

I was able to penetrate the security system of his beautiful cliffside Malibu home with the help of James Dupont, age 73, the builder of the Dupont Castle. He supplied us with armor from the early Greek period, which I suspected Tony Robbins to have a genetic memory or at very least a frightful oral tradition regarding, and in stumbling fear, the giant opened his gates to us and the large muzzled dogs we had borrowed for the occasion.

James offered Mr. Robbins a drink from a bottle of Kavaklıdere - Öküzgözü, a wine grown on hillsides near his ancestor’s primitive cave dwellings. This, of course, contained enough ketamine to ready him for vivisection.

Using the most advanced arthroscopic tools, we were able to drill into Tony’s sternum and hoped to find his burning internal flame either by sight or by the charring and heating of the scope.

James Dupont, having met me only one day earlier at Los Angeles International Airport, was a competent assistant and we searched every body cavity for the flame Mr. Robbins so often spoke of as laying within, waiting to be kindled, waiting to burn with passion. As the ketamine began to wear off, it was clear that if any fire existed inside this gargantuan it was not detectable by instruments made for the tending of our species.

After my research, I do not think it is bold to claim that Tony Robbins may contain no great inner fire whatsoever, only inflammation, an entirely different character of phenomena. His extinct species and their great fires are extinguished, and thousands of attempts to recreate extinct beings by tricking unknowing humanoids into his fire rituals, thankfully, has had no effect.

Drive II: But Poldino, ¿Qué hago? What do I do?

If you are a cicada executive — you are multi-talented, possibilities for you are limitless, but you’re just waiting for the right time and perfect situation to accomplish them — you may lack drive. We have established that drive is not a physical fire and that therefore, you are neither a furnace nor a fireplace.

Would you like to surrender to this state? I claim that being a hidden insect may be worse than being a potbellied stove with the ability to reason and sign contracts. To be the top CEO of all the cicadas, underground, waiting infinite lifetimes to emerge with your grand plan? Is this what satisfies you?

You have become old too quickly due to older generations desire to remain young. There must be a dialectic between young and old.

Dr. John Ivy of the University of Texas, a great researcher, on a young cyclist who made a recovery: “They’re not looking at growth hormone or maximizing growth hormone. They’re trying to get to recovery as quickly as possible so they can cycle several days in a row.

They showed that getting a ratio of 4:1 carbs to protein is better for recovery … 4:1 starts recovery faster. If you’re going after recovery, that’s the best strategy … [if] you’re not looking for growth hormone, that is. But on the other side, if your goal for most middle-aged adults and older is to maximize growth hormone to get this wonderful hormone circulating for that full two hours in the surging window for going after body fat (just about like you’re doing cardio for two hours), you can do that.

… if you throw too many carbohydrates in … then that releases the hormones called somatostatin. That, for whatever reason, just shuts down growth hormone. That’s clear in the research.”

So, it’s important to avoid carbs, especially sugar or fructose-containing foods, in the two hours after your workout (this includes sports drinks) to be sure you’re getting the full HGH benefits.”

If we have provided that the old aren’t stealing fire from the young, we have witnessed the old steal the Human Growth Hormone from the pituitary glands of cadavers and inject this Hormone in hopes of maintaining youth indefinitely. We’ve also seen the injection of deadly foodborne toxins and their derivatives.

Their youth comes paired with death.

What does this have to do with drive, the confidence to take an action when none has been taken before? The confidence to feel fear and anticipate shame and continue on — is this drive?

If your life is marked by disorder, distraction, disempowerment, both confound and dumbfounding emotions, and a total ambivalence toward deontological ethics, you lack drive.

Good news! No one will tell you how to fix this or will name it to your face. Or is that bad news? The good news is that I will, and am. This condition can be remedied. If you were a machine, you could be fixed with a replacement parts suite. But, as you’re reading this, you are probably a human being, so the replacement must take the form of reasoned thought immediately followed by concrete action. Reason is the only way to understand emotion, emotion is the only way to understand reason, action is what makes it all real. Very simple, David Hume level stuff. You already know. You are smarter than me, only with less access to the teachings of ancient masters.

Now I will begin to hurt feelings. The only way to restore drive is to forget everything you’ve been told and every message from every movie and TV show: that you can only become cool and get what you want by acting with complete freedom.

No!

You are suffering from being too smart, too empathic, too beautiful (in soul and mind — we can discuss this in another piece, it will be so horny (Just kidding)).

You have all possibilities ahead of you, so choice and action become impossible. An octopus can only hold 8 baseballs and you can only choose one choice. Yet you are presented with the infinite, the bad infinite, the one that does not loop back to the start, the one that simply scatters endless things everywhere forever.

You will need to part with your old mind, and this will be psychically painful. At your sleepiest, sorest, and most aggrieved moments, you will want to retrieve that mind, which floats somewhere in some awful aether, and go back to the way things were.

No!

You must completely change your mind and body if you wish to gain drive and courage.

The only way to change for the better is to completely remove the notion of freedom you hold. Later you can read the great philosophers and come to understand what it means, but if you follow this plan, you may find yourself in accord with them before checking the appendix.

Give yourself a limited concrete goal. (I want to do well in school, I want a better job, I want to have meaningful relationships.) Plan small steps toward that goal. Until you complete those steps you are Hegel’s bondsman, you are a cyber mercenary with a brain augmentation that allows you to only follow orders. You’ll be giving up obedience to the most powerful person in the room, or the most powerful person you’ve internalized, to concrete actions that will better your life. Welcome to the prison of anti-fear. It is built on a mountain with no steps, no ladders, and no helicopter access. I built it. I stole the building materials from James Dupont, my former friend.

Remember that your identity is only what you do. Not how you feel, not your opinions, but only the actions you take in the world. Emerge from your seven years underground. Take a tylenol and reduce the fever of confusion.

Make a concrete plan and do nothing but follow each step. Your only freedom is to struggle towards the next step on the route up this mountain. This is a horrible mountain. You will hate it. But love lives on top. Love was placed on to by a sky crane. How did I move the concept? Why do you assume it was me, I deny it.

And in the smaller parts of the day, eat specifically planned meals, move with proper biomechanics, stand and do not sit, move, workout at the prescribed time, be social — not just with your friends who’ve come to live in your phone but with the strangers that surround you. You are retraining yourself to be a human being with both the means and ability to carry out simple and important tasks.

Remind yourself that freedom only comes from reaching the realm of the pure abstract and that eating a chocolate, or ignoring someone sitting next to you, or waiting for the last minute to complete work is not freedom, it is slavery to forces so banal and so nefarious that I’m going to need to write several pieces about them specifically.

End your freedom. Take concrete actions toward a goal. Continue taking them if the goal is accomplished after discovering the next goal. Do not depart from your workout routine or interaction with the world unless you wish to lose the new mind that’s being slowly lain, layer by layer, like an asphalt road, suffocating your old mind, and possibly causing it to pop like a balloon. What will remain in its place is a mind suitable for the holding of secret elements much m ore potent than fire which will provide the power to drive toward any object, place, or thing.

I state this to you first because it’s the most important thing for you to follow. The reasons why, well, they require a story and I don’t want to distract you.

What you must know is that you cannot fear being afraid, you cannot be ashamed of feeling shame. Seek situations that help you toward your goal where you feel fear and there is a possibility of you being ashamed and confront them with horizontal breathing, good posture, a strong body, and cells made of all the fine foods you put in your mouth.

The reason you don’t do what you want to do, or say what you want to say, is that you don’t want it to be true that you feel fear and shame. Therefore, you do feel them, and then you become one with your own rejection of yourself. This is what we’re breaking to pieces and regrowing.

P.S. If you’re self loathing and wonder why people reject you, it’s because they can see you’ve already rejected yourself.

Cut away your own freedom, lower the flag. Become your own bondsman, only act concretely toward your goal, this is your duty.

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footyplusau · 7 years

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From the cheap seats: Leaping Larry’s rant

Apart from the ever-increasing proliferation of “structures” and “corridors” – difficult to detect as these often remain from the home armchair perspective – the restless and inquiring minds in AFL commentary continue to provide us with a bewildering array of new technical terms in the interest of expanding the football arts and sciences.

“They’ve got the outnumber,” noted Alistair Lynch at the Gold Coast-Adelaide game.

Billy Longer of the Saints slips a tackle from Geelong’s Harry Taylor. Photo: Quinn Rooney

What they didn’t have there was a concluding noun, as “outnumber” isn’t one of those when it’s at home. Presumably, pointing this out is a fruitless task given that the expression is now almost as standard usage as the astoundingly prevalent and valueless tautology “reward for effort”. (The latter might make sense if there was any inherent conceptual comparison with a “reward for no effort”. But if there was no effort, it wouldn’t really be deemed a reward, just good fortune. This is where the whole business seems to fall in a screaming heap, logically speaking.)

At the Swans-GWS game, Dwayne Russell noted the Swans’ proficiency at “rookie elevations”, although he didn’t specify to what altitude they are raised before entering the field of play. Apparently the term “promotion” has gone out of fashion since all the clubs bought those rookie-launching pads.

Dwayne also came up with the description “He mongrels it wide”, which is handy for that extra disposal category everybody’s been hankering for in the stats columns.

In the Foxtel studio for Fremantle v North, Ben Dixon set a fierce intellectual pace for hyper-modern terminology, noting: “You can possession yourself down the boundary line,” mere seconds before buttering up majestically with, “I know it sounds technical and biomechanic (sic) and all that.”

Well, maybe it did before he said it like that, anyway.

One of the SEN commentators at Suns v Crows suggested, re the home team, “They are outsized down there.”

This may have accidentally sounded semi-pornographic, but it can probably be safely filed away in the “outnumber” category – i.e. the wrong word used wrongly in the wrong context, but in the great malt shop of AFL broadcasting, all the cool commentary kids are dancing to it.

At Western Bulldogs v Brisbane Lions, Dr Peter Larkins favoured us with, “It’s still game anybody.”

This is a thing now? If the trend continues, we may soon have commentary enlivened by descriptions such as “quarter third”, “line boundary” and the “Melbourne Ground Cricket”.

Brian Taylor remains a market leader in this field, and on Triple-M at Richmond-Melbourne gave us the intriguing and tricky technical expression “fade-away banana”.

This may be one of those “biomechanic” deals, but it’s probably too early to tell.

BT suavely topped this in the “quarter third” of the St Kilda-Geelong game, coining an expression so unrelated to the established English language that it requires phonetic transcription: “A perfect little left foot squine-der (sic).”

The intrigue here is considerable. Is a right foot one an “esquine-der” or a “de-squineder”?

Also, what in the merry blue Hades is it?

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