#bonus points if it's graves trying to say something to the task force

[mst3kproject]

The Ape

In the vein of movies that should not be confused with eerily similar previous entries, The Ape is distinct from The Ape Man... but not by much.  Both feature a slumming horror superstar, glandular secretions, and a stupid gorilla suit.  All these things also showed up in early seasons of MST3K, of course, and The Ape Man also has a surprise bonus.  Apparently, the guy in the gorilla costume is none other than Crash Corrigan, of Undersea Kingdom!

Long ago, Dr. Adrien lost his daughter to polio, and ever since he's been obsessed with finding a cure.  That sounds pretty noble, but unfortunately, Adrien is a mad doctor, so the cure he comes up with requires killing healthy people to drain them of their cerebralspinal fluid!  In order not to arouse suspicion, he kills and skins a gorilla that escaped from a circus, and wears its hide when he murders people... you know, as one does. To nobody's surprise but his, he ends up getting shot, but hey, at least he cured beautiful young Frances' paralysis!

This is a weird, dumb movie but one thing I can say in its favour is that everybody seems to have given it a good try.  This material was far beneath Boris Karloff but he takes it seriously and actually gets a couple of decent moments, as does Maris Wrixton (who was also in The Face of Marble) as Frances.  Nobody else is even close to Karloff's level, being just bland 40's actors who talk too fast, but none of the main cast are phoning it in, either.

Conversely, the worst thing in the movie is its truly horrendous gorilla suit.  The puppet face shows the actor's eyes and can curl its lip, which is cool, though the features don't look very gorilla-ish.  The rest of the suit, however, is terrible. It's way too shaggy and in order to give it a gorilla-like silhouette, they stuck a big hunchback on it.  This might have worked if Corrigan had tried to walk on all fours like gorillas actually do, but instead he waddles along upright like a toddler with a full diaper, which ruins it.  The people who made the movie also appear to think gorillas are nocturnal which, for the record, they are not.

Gorillas were kind of a big thing in movies of the 40's and 50's.  The species had been scientifically described a century earlier, but hadn't really been studied until the 1920s and most people had never seen one outside of King Kong. Films of the period were not kind to the gorilla.  One of the first gorilla movies was 1930's Ingagi, which purported to be a documentary about gorillas kidnapping women as sex slaves.  That kind of set the tone, and subsequent movies depicted gorillas as creatures prone to violence and rape.  Examples from this blog alone are numerous: The Ape Man (1940), Panther Girl of the Kongo (1955), and Bride of the Gorilla (1951) for starters... Robot Monster (1953) might also count.

The Ape has a slightly more nuanced approach to gorilla behaviour.  Yes, its gorilla does maul people to death... but the first victim is its trainer, who has been shown mistreating it.  Another circus employee even tries to tell him that he'll catch more flies with honey.  When the ape batters its way into Dr. Adrien's house, it does so in order to get at the trainer's coat, which Adrien left draped over a chair when the dying man was brought to him for treatment.  We see far more fear of the escaped ape than we do of the animal itself, and it does not commit near as many murders as Adrien does while dressed in its skin!

So that's halfway progressive for the 1940s.  We can also look at the treatment of Frances, the wheelchair-user partially paralyzed by polio.  She is clearly meant to be an object of the audience's pity, and Adrien is obsessed with making her able to walk again – as he could not do for his own daughter.  To some extent the movie infantilizes her, as she is clearly dependent on her mother, unable to have much of a social life, and her boyfriend Danny professes his willingness to 'take care of her'.  When she regains movement in her legs at the end of the movie, she and her mother immediately burn her wheelchair.  Apparently she's not allowed to build up her stamina slowly... if she walks ten minutes from home and then can't continue, she's just gotta sit there until she recovers or somebody finds her.

On the other hand, Frances' family aren't trying to force Adrien's possible cure on her, but let her choose it for herself. Her mother doesn't mind looking after her, and Danny is happy to accommodate her by, for example, hiring a cart so she can accompany him to the circus.  Danny in particular is very suspicious of the fact that the injections Adrien gives to Frances are causing her pain, and takes the doctor to task for it, telling him he would rather have her disabled and happy than walking but in pain.  “I'd rather carry her around all my life!” he says.  Her loved ones are willing to try for the cure, but it doesn't seem like anyone will be miserable if it fails.  Frances herself wistfully admires the acrobats at the circus, but shows no anger or bitterness that she cannot be like them.

Frances is even allowed some initiative, as she hurries down the road in her wheelchair calling to Dr. Adrien and trying to warn him that the gorilla is in the area.  This, ironically, is what leads to Adrien getting shot, as it attracts the attention of the posse hunting the animal.  But as Adrien lies dying, he gets to see Frances standing for the first time in ten years, so I guess we're meant to think this was all worth it.

But was it?  Several people died in order to provide the spinal fluid that helped Frances heal.  The movie shows them as terrified of Dr. Adrien and/or the gorilla, but other than that it is oddly uninterested in their fates.  None of the deaths are presented as tragedies, with families left in mourning... the only family we hear about for the gorilla trainer is a father who is already dead, and another one of the victims was an asshole who told his wife if she didn't like him cheating on her she could always drown herself(!??).  So... are we supposed to think they don't matter?  That their deaths are acceptable because they helped Frances – who was not dying or even deteriorating, and was satisfied with her life as it was – to a cure?

It is notable that we do not see what happens when Frances finds out that people had to die for her to be able to walk.  She would have to reassess her opinion of Dr. Adrien, whom until now she has thought of as a loving father figure.  She would have to figure out what this means for her future and perhaps need reassurance that she is not culpable.  Her unconcerned happiness at the end suggests that nobody bothered to tell her, and that she has not yet made the connection herself.  This is really quite unfortunate, because it deprives Frances of her only real chance to be a character rather than a plot point – which is ultimately all she is here.

Nobody else is shown dealing with the aftermath, either.  The town has long mistrusted Dr. Adrien because of rumours that he was experimenting on his patients, and a recent spate of missing dogs is shown to be his fault.  An early scene shows a group of boys bothering the doctor by throwing rocks at his house (which made me wonder if toilet paper hadn't been invented yet. According to Wikipedia, it dates to 1857, so there's your Fun Fact for the day). Seeing their worst fears realized really ought to have some effect on the people.  Even if nobody bothers to tell Frances how her miraculous cure was effected, others will surely figure it out and have to weigh up what he achieved versus the crimes he committed to get there.

Yeah, I know: this is a movie about a guy killing people while wearing a dead gorilla.  I'm thinking too hard.

Finally, I want to note some interesting possible connections between The Ape and a number of other movies I've seen.  Both The Ape and The Ape Man appear to have been inspired by the 1932 movie Murders in the Rue Morgue, which also features a gorilla and injections of bodily fluids in the name of mad science, and did not feature very much resemblance to Edgar Allen Poe's story of the same name.  I don't know if these films directly inspired each other, and it's been ages since I saw Rue Morgue... but the combination of plot elements here seems weirdly specific to be something different people came up with independently.  I should watch all three again and see if I notice any more similarities between them.

There are also interesting likenesses between The Ape and another Boris Karloff movie, 1945's The Grave Robber.  The latter is the story of a doctor who needs fresh corpses as part of his research, which culminates in surgery to allow a paralyzed girl to walk again.  The doctor in this film is more a victim than a villain, himself, as he finds that the man he's been paying to rob graves for him is actually murdering the homeless, and he can't expose this criminal without jeopardizing his work and incriminating himself.  It's been a long time since I saw this movie, either (as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I've had some shit going on and I haven't had a lot of time for movies, bad or otherwise), so I can't actually say if it's better than The Ape, but it's definitely less silly.

Anyway, the moral of this story is vaccinate your fucking kids or a gorilla will kill you.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the ape #40s #guys in gorilla suits #tw: rape #allow me to recommend a better movie #we're running out of plots

[cno-inbminor]

adsentio - stagnation

a/n: we’re back with prince!akaashi, royalty!au, extra part. i promise i was writing the wedding scene, but then it started storming pretty heavily...and my brain said, “no, Kay. it’s rainy hours. write angst. you know you want to.” and...this happened.

NOTE: for this specific scenario, it’s not 100% necessary to read ‘adsentio’, the main story. however, there are details that reference it and subsequent parts. the basic idea is: you and prince akaashi had been set up to marry since you were children, and while the both of you were against it for a while, feelings changed for the better.

summary: after a few years of being married, you find yourself firmly concluding that indeed, akaashi no longer loves you.  

genre: angst!! with happy ending though. wc: ~2.9k

main story: adsentio (pt. 1) | bonus letters (pt. 1.5) | the masque (pt. 2)

Whenever torrents of rain cascade over the kingdom, down the vine-ridden castle walls and pattering upon the lake, many will pause in their tasks and gaze out the nearest windowpane. Thunder may rumble and lightning may strike, yet everyone registers the same twist in their stomachs. An unease lies beneath their skin; a chill that wickedly summons horripilation. In an effort to battle the shadows, fires begin to roar, one by one through the castle. Aches and pains arise in bodies as the masses wait with bated breath for the rainbow to appear as it always does.

Smoke floats through the chimneys and taints the air, evident by the wisps of gray and onyx. Yet they are unnoticed and in stealth on this dreary night where everyone must succumb to the understanding that there will be no rainbow. The controller of the tides will peak above the midnight clouds and attempt to shine, but never strong enough to guide the nightly travelers.

Even with the tamed inferno in the chambers, a puff of visible air leaves your lips. Your hands clasp tightly together, your fingers intertwining with each other in your lap as you sit in front of your vanity. Raindrops beat against the glass of the balcony doors, glistening in their trail towards the ground. Yet as soon as they fall onto stone, the drop shatters and colors the surface. It paints and paints until the blemishes appear and the imperfections glare towards the skies.

Jewels sit heavy on your figure, your crown resting on a cushion atop your vanity. But in this moment, nothing weighs more than the wedding ring on your left hand. It’s crushing, suffocating; it burns a print and imprisons your appendage, reminding you of unspoken promises ghosted against your ear. The gems hold decades of memories, being passed down from queen to future queen, and you wonder if any of them proceeded with what you plan on doing.

Akaashi had entered the room as smooth as a serpent, silent like a zephyr. Your only warning of his presence is the raised hairs on the back of your neck, your body tensing just as his hands placed themselves on your shoulders from behind. Another breath is drawn from your lungs as he peers into the mirror at you, the faintest expression of happiness drawn from his lips. But it’s lifeless. It’s the one he reserves for meetings and pleasantries, for when he disagrees with his father but has no choice to comply. His eyes are darkened with death and dissatisfaction, and has been for almost two weeks now.

His brows only marginally furrow with concern at your lack of reaction, how you seem to be looking past him. Your own expression comes off as solemn yet nervous, as if you’ve committed a grave sin.

“Is anything wrong, my dear?” He asks gently, watching carefully.

Your lips purse as you turn your head towards the hand on your right shoulder. They no longer provide the warmth and comfort that they did so many years ago, but only serve to freeze your soul and weave together the insecurities that you had painstakingly unraveled. Akaashi continues to gaze at you in silence as you stand from your seat, wordlessly beckoning for him to take your place. With guarded hesitation, he does as you say. Instead of standing behind him as he did you, you instead take the space on his right, facing his side profile. Feeling unnerved, he turns to face you rather than his own reflection.

In times of vulnerability, you have always struggled to find your footing, to feel that you are powerful. You believe there is a strength in possessing self-awareness and having the ability to convey those thoughts to someone who cares and knows. Just because you feel small in the moment does not mean you must be small. You can tower over the other person as you do now, forcing your prince to lift his chin to speak to you.

“You are unhappy,” you whisper ruefully.

“I don’t…I don’t understand,” he fibs, his eyes wavering as he directs his gaze away from yours. In that brief moment of eye contact, you had seen the show end, but the curtains lifted, the gears turning and unveiling his chaotic despair.

“You cannot lie to me, milord. And only you are incapable of doing so with me.”

He lets out an arduous sigh and slouches his back, a pose of defeat and exhaustion. A dagger twists his heart at the title, but his reticence allows you to continue.

“I can only imagine that there have been many women in my position before, where they must continue to rule with locked lips and the key thrown. There must have been many who were as hopeful as me, and yet as time aged us, we had to turn the other way and simply learn to accustom ourselves to the new surroundings. With how long we have known each other, I know almost everything about you. To most, you may only have a few sitting postures. But to me, you have tens. Each little movement indicates something different, something you happen to be thinking or feeling at that moment. It’s ingrained into my brain by sheer force and repetition, and I’m beginning to wish I was more oblivious. Perhaps, then, I would at least have been a happy fool, content with my misguided beliefs.”

“What are you trying to say?” He enquires as he dares to face you again. With regret, loss, and grief, he watches as your eyes begin to shine with tears and the most bittersweet smile on your face begin to form.

“You no longer love me.

“And I have no objection to that,” you continue, raising a hand to stop any of his interjections. “I should have known that you would eventually tire and wish for what I had voiced all those years ago: some freedom, some choice. As much as you had convinced yourself that marrying me was unequivocally your free will, you no longer believe it. All of your interactions with me scream so, and I have no intentions to attempt to convince you otherwise. Doing so would be hypocritical of me. So for now,” you pause, looking down at your hands while catching your breath.

Akaashi can hear the tremble of your lungs over the crack of thunder and the beating of the heavens. But everything deafens when your right hand hovers over your left ring finger. They hesitate and shake, reaching then reclining, before grasping the ornate band and slowly, lamentably removing it. You then extend a hand to gently grasp one of his, placing the piece of jewelry in his open palm, then curling his fingers closed around it.

“For now, I shall return this to you. You may do as you wish, as I will not stop you. Perhaps…we were not lucky enough for love.”

You sleep with your back to him that night, unwilling to face him when only mere inches exist between you two. You miss how Akaashi turns to face your back, how his arm tentatively reaches to wrap around your waist before pulling back, and can only slip into his dreams when counting the strands of your hair.

-

“The Prince urgently requests that you meet him in the library, Your Highness.”

“Now?”

“Preferably, yes.”

“Very well, I shall be there shortly,” you sigh, your turning away signaling the messenger’s dismissal. Your head bends down to take one last look at the embroidery in your lap, your fingers finishing some last few stitches for an appropriate stopping point. Fingers cautiously smooth the wrinkles of your day dress, and you take one last deep breath.

The journey to the library is painstakingly laborious, as though each step you made had been done with shackles around your ankles. There is a weight to the sound of your heels clicking against the ground. Maids and butlers shuffle past you with heads bowed, though you seem to deep in a trance to observe.

Much of the energy and power that you felt you had exuded those nights ago had soon dissipated from your body. Your body resembles an empty shell, devoid of a plan to stand on your feet and continue with your normal activities. Your left ring finger screams into the numbing void, the missing weight almost bearing its own scarlet letter. You stayed in your room as much as possible, requesting meals to be delivered to the chambers. Akaashi nearly always needed to be away, taking care of kingdom affairs in preparation for his inevitable ascension to the throne. The only times you were ever near him were in the mornings and nights. You understood he was allowing some space for you, yet to request your presence…

Soon, you stand in the doorway of the royal library, the wooden entrance left ajar. The space acts as a safe haven for anyone in the castle; you gently press it open with the pad of your fingers. Hundreds of books on shelves line the walls with a few tables and lounging couches, yet it is eerily empty. Typically, there would be another person climbing one of the ladders to reach a high book, but even those are gathering dust for now.

Akaashi is in the farthest corner by the window, small stacks of bound journals and novels on almost every available space of the surface. He stands tall by the glass, looking out towards the gardens with his hands clasped behind his back. You take this moment of his oblivion to appreciate the back of the man before you, choking back and battling the agonizing twist of your heart. It is a moment you feel that you no longer deserve, but whatever it may be, the matter seems far less urgent than what the butler had told you.

You near him and clear your throat, the noise causing him to spin on his heels. He looks somewhat taken aback, but quickly composes himself as you curtsy. “I am here, Your Highness. I was told you had urgent matters to discuss.”

Akaashi sighs somewhat before sitting in the chair, beckoning you to come closer to the desk. His complexion seems pale and almost gaunt, and in turn, you frown. Was he not sleeping? Or eating? Has his father been putting too much pressure on his shoulders?

“I must confess,” he begins softly and refuses to meet your eyes. “The matter isn’t as urgent as I made it out to be. But I wanted to see you as soon as possible as it is still important and does concern you.”

“Did I…do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” he immediately denies, taking a hasty glance towards you before turning back to the books on the desk. “If anything…I am the one who has wronged you, and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me,” he continues, his voice trailing towards the end of his confession. The desperation for forgiveness and repentance drown his words until they are all you can feel, yet you were so unsure of why he was seeking those. Did he pity you? Your emotions?

“I believe there is no reason to forgive you, as there is nothing you should feel sorry for,” you say stiffly, hands subtly wringing together.

“I must concur,” he kindly retorts. “Here, please have a look at this.”

He hands you a journal from the top of a stack, encouraging for you to take it. The leather feels aged and worn, but it is one you recognize from many, many years ago.

‘You could consider it a memoir.’

“Open it, please. And read what’s inside it.”

With a curious look, you unwind the ties and peel back the cover. The first page holds nothing, but when you turn the yellowing parchment, familiar handwriting greets you. A date sits in the top right corner, marking it a little less than a year before your eighteenth birthday.

‘I must say, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from the princess. In my mind, she would have better things to attend to than to reply to me. After all, we both have our own duties, and in addition to hers, she must be attending some of her father’s meetings. I cannot deny the fact that my heart began to race swiftly when I saw her signature at the bottom of the letter. Even in her writing, I could hear her voice in my head, reading it the same way as if she were speaking to me. How I long for the summer months to quickly come.’

The beginning entry ends there, but as you thumb through the other pages rapidly, they are filled with his writing in neat, onyx ink. You begin to recall the days when you both were here in this very room, him scribbling away as you read your subject of interest. Your eye the other similar-looking journals and he confirms your unspoken questions.

“They’re all about you,” he smiles, though it seems sad and apologetic. “As you can see, I filled quite a few journals over the many years, but…unfortunately, as I grew busier, I was unable to write as much. When you said those words to me that night,” – a grimace on his complexion – “I couldn’t believe myself. Did I truly not love you anymore? At first, I struggled to find an answer…until a few days ago. I have spent much of my time reading through these pages, seeing what I have written.”

“You read…all of these? There must be almost twenty journals here,” you say in a mixture of disbelief and awe.

“I couldn’t quite put them down, I must admit. Some of my best work, perhaps.”

He stands from his seat and walks around the desk until he’s in front of you. Those pools of cobalt blue still find it difficult to meet your own eyes – they swim with contemplation and hesitation, but a sheet of determination soon clouds them. After you recognize that, he grasps your left hand with both of his and kneels on one knee, his forehead bowed down onto your knuckles either out of embarrassment or absolute respect.

“Keiji, what are you—”

“I was wrong. I had been so wrapped up in my own affairs that I failed to look after you as I had promised at the altar. I neglected you and unwittingly led you to believe that I no longer loved you. You do not deserve such a foolish man, so ignorant to forget how good you are to me, how there can be no other woman because you are my perfect match. I have been reminded of all the reasons of why I love you, and I swear on my existence that I love you more than I ever have.

Yet the truth is, I shouldn’t need to be reminded. You should never need to question my loyalty to you, and for that…I can only give my deepest apologies,” his voice trails to a volume so soft, yet so shaky with remorse. “The regret that I feel can’t even begin to hold a light to the pain that you must have kept bottled inside you, where you kept the cork in for as long as possible as to not burden me. I have failed you, and I will spend the rest of our days correcting my wrongs. In this very moment,” he pauses, inhaling a deep but quivering breath.

“I desperately and humbly request of you to give me this one last chance, to prove that I can be the man you deserve. I am begging you, my future queen, to forgive me.”

Your breath hitches with the last statement.

A prince never begs.

Yet he was here to lay it all out for you, imploring that you stand by his side, again, in more ways than one.  

“Please rise, Your Highness,” you call out softly, your hand reaching out to try lifting his chin and meet his gaze.

He stubbornly shakes his head. “Not unless you give me your answer.”

“Keiji, you don’t need—”

“Your answer. Please,” he beseeches with the last word, breath held. You know that when Akaashi becomes insistent, he never backs down yet somehow still allowing the other person to have a choice in the say. No thinking needed to be done, as your answer should be quite obvious.

“How could I ever refuse you, Keiji?” You tease softly with a smile.

Since the first moment he had kneeled before you, he looks up to see your face. Unshed tears glisten from the sun’s rays streaming through the glass. Your words are more than enough for him to stand on both feet again, soon wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head into your shoulder. These acts of affection are only a small portion of what you had sorely missed, and you were counting on Akaashi to fulfill his vow.

“You are everything to me,” he breathes unsteadily into your neck. “And I will make certain that you never forget this, even after we pass.”

“I can trust you?”

“Yes. I promise.”

#haikyu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi #keiji #akaashi keiji scenarios #akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi keiji x reader #keiji x you #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #hq #hq angst #akaashi angst #haikyuu x you #adsentio #akaashi scenarios #haikyuu imagines #akaashi imagines

[bloodys44]

Silence and Cigarette Smoke

Original story and bonus content found here! ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/1/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke

(Also I’m so sorry the last chapter posted all jumbled together like that. And also that I’m to garbage to fix it)  The issue with chapter 7 not being viewable though ff.net also seems to be resolved so feel free to read some more if you enjoy. :)

Warning//Gore

Chapter 4: The Post Birthday Bloodbath

788

The dull thundering of a train traveling over laid track had always sounded soothing to Lucy. Whether it was a version of simple white noise or one of few comforting memories from her days of running, she could never tell. Something about the rhythmic sway of the train car, mixing with the light hum of the metal hovering. She would argue that she never slept better, besides maybe sleeping near Natsu during the cold winter months. A perk she had come to favor about him over the years. And yet, the rattling of their train compartment lacked its usual lulling charm, her mind wired yet not focused on anything in particular. The dark of the sky had crept up slowly, tearing apart the wicked blue that it had previously embodied. Stella wasn't overly far away, a neighbouring continent overthrown by the Fiore army. Majority of the land was underdeveloped, a cluttered mess of forest and mountains. A singular city near the center was all that resided on the vast land, thus keeping the name of the continent itself. Their train wasn't due to reach the platform until the early hours of the morning, and Lucy couldn't help but let an annoyed sigh escape at the thought. There were at least four more hours of traveling remaining, and time seemed to be passing at half it's regular speed. Not to mention the fact that her companions were sleeping soundly, letting the night slip away without a worry.

They had lucked out with a train equipped well for travel, small, but personal compartments lining down each side of the train's cars. The compartment's themselves were nothing extravagant, simple cloth-covered benches mirroring one another. The sliding door creaking obnoxiously when it was opened. If anything, it's most astounding feature was the lingering smell of old shoes and musty wood.

Lucy glanced over to her pink-haired partner, smirking with slight pity for the boy. Natsu had never served well with travel, a rather astonishing relationship with motion sickness. Even in his sleeping state, she could tell he was miserable, clutching the edges of his stomach with purpose. Porlyusica, the guilds head medical attendant had explained it stemmed from his dragon-slaying abilities. Supposedly his senses were so over heightened, the motion of vehicles rattled his own sense of balance. Still, it didn't make it any less enjoyable to tease said boy about it. Currently, he was seated with his shoulder blades pressed heavily into the cushioned backrest, leaning his head against the chilled window pane. A frame of light fog splaying from where his skin connected, the contrast in temperatures causing the reaction. Natsu was always warm, his average body temperature running much higher than that of a regular human. Though when he slept, it usually spiked much higher, his concentration lacking, barely keeping his own skin under control. He had never voiced it to Lucy, but she knew it was a draining task for him, his wild emotions always causing it to fluctuate. When he got overly flustered or rageful he became damn near scalding. Lucy never really minded it, especially in situations like this, his natural body heat making for a cozy effect. She was curled up on the opposite side of the bench, her back resting against the wall connected to the sliding door. With a muffled groan she moved to remove her freezing toes from the constraints of her boots, deciding to take advantage of the living heater across her. Tucking her feet under his left thigh carefully, she relished in the heat before his sudden jolt startled her. Almost instantly the warmth retracted, simmering under his pores. A slight pout overtaking her lips while she stared at his wide, yet sleep-filled eyes. Of course, he would wake up from the sudden change in atmosphere, the boy always on edge while away from the guild.

"Sorry," He mumbled sheepishly, "Did I get too hot again? I didn't mea-"

"No, it's alright, I was just warming my toes." She cooed, interrupting his typical nervous ramblings. "Sorry I woke you."

"S'all right, wasn't sleeping that good anyway." He shifted in his seat, stretching his strong arms wide with a rough yawn before facing her again. His eyes trailed over the compartment quickly, stopping briefly on all the exit points. The door, the window, and the emergency exit placed snuggly between the roofs panels. His shoulders taking on their practiced tense state as he strained his hearing. Lucy could barely hold back the amused smirk that danced over her face when she saw his nose twitch. Her lips only pulling back wider as he continued his practiced motions, checking the surrounding area for any danger. The nose on that boy could beat that of trained hound any day.

"What, afraid the black wizard might get ya?" She teased, wiggling her fingers at him for emphasis.

Natsu only sighed embarrassingly, scratching at the side oh his throat. Subconsciously acting on his traditional nervous habit."Sorry, Stella always-"

"-Makes you nervous," She finished easily. "I know." She slid her feet deeper under his leg, adjusting until she felt comfortable again. His on edge behavior wasn't unusual when they traveled through Stella, always becoming an anxious mess that intensified greatly the closer they got. He never delved into details about it, always stomping her curiosity with a simple defense. Just a bad feeling. She could practically feel her eyes rolling, hearing his voice clearly pronounce the words in her head.

"Honestly, it makes me nervous too," Lisanna added on a whisper, sluggishly pushing herself up from her resting position. Delicate fingers brushing the sleep from her electric eyes. "After all, its where Zeref was born."

Zeref. The great black wizard. A mage trailed only by the stench of death, or so the legends say. Though he hadn't been sighted in years, his very name still struck fear into the hearts of mages and non-magic users alike. A young boy with the tongue of the devil. His very words a magic vice on your mind. He controlled what he wanted, and that was that. "They say he's immortal." The white-haired woman started again. "A blade couldn't pierce his heart."

Now Lucy's eyes really did roll in their sockets. "Please, your only going to rile him up more." She gestured over to Natsu who served her a practiced annoyed frown. "He'll be on edge until we hit Magnolia again."

Lissana giggled slightly, turning her attention to him. "Don't worry, nobody's seen him in years, it's nothing to stress over."

"Doesn't mean he's gone." He bounced back. "Regardless, there's enough to worry about in Stella with or without him." Lissana's brow arched, curiosity plain as she questioned the statement. "Stella's crawling with royal knights, it's the second base from the border of Bosco."

"I thought there was a ceasefire?" She pressed, to which Natsu scoffed.

"They won't stop until they find Mavis's grave."

"What do they want with the holy goddess?"

"Mavis was the first grand witch," Lucy interjected. "It's rumored her grave carry's the secret to eradicating all enchantments."

Lissana hummed in understanding. "So basically mages should be avoiding this area?" She laughed weekly, crossing her arms with lazy movements. "What a perfect place for us."

"If we keep our hoods up we should be fine," Lucy stated pointedly. "Stella's train station is the major rest point between Seven, Bosco, Iceberg and Joya, there's lots of travelers with new faces. Makes it pretty easy to blend in. Besides, nothing remotely bad has ever happened to us while traveling there. It'll be good to keep our wits about us, but Natsu's major anxiety is a little overkill."

"I just have-"

"A bad feeling?" She finished for him again, rather cheekily. "I know." She nudged him with the top of her foot at his exaggerated eye-roll. "I have no doubts we'll make it back just fine. Lissana peeled her legs from the front of the bench, pulling them upwards to rest her chin on her knee.

"Aren't you from Stella, Natsu?" The man grunted slightly, stiffening and sending the woman a warning look before granting a structured nod.

"Did you ever see him as a child? The black wizard I mean. I think he would have been a few years older, but still a child back then."

"No." His response blunt and harsh, pushed over his teeth. Lucy quirked a brow, scanning over Natsu intently. He crossed his arms at her curiosity, a blank statement that he wasn't planning on explaining the situation further. Lissana sighed, placing a hand under her delicate chin.

"Stella is where Gildarts found Natsu as a child." She explained to the blonde. "He grew up there."

"Come on Lissana." He hissed back. His arms twitching as they stretched over his chest.

"How come you never told me that?" Lucy pressed, fixated on the man's jittery movements. "I thought you didn't remember your childhood?"

"I remember bits and pieces." He slumped backward obnoxiously, deciding that he was definitely stuck in this conversation now. "I just never thought it was important."

"You know where I grew up." She defended shortly.

"Geeze," he scoffed at the blonde playfully. "Like that was a hard one, Princess of Fiore."

The blonde found herself pulling a pout. She wasn't trying to be rude, only holding genuine curiosity about her best friend's life before her. "Well, maybe we could stop at your childhood home before we leave? It would be nice to see where you grew up." Her face warming as she beamed at the boy.

"It doesn't exist anymore." The words forced roughly from his tongue. "I burned it down." She didn't miss the slight twitch of his shoulders, or the way his voice threatened to crack. He puffed out a never mind before claiming he was getting some air, the trains rattling my stomach. A blunt end to their conversation. He was up in a single movement, pushing through the door and ignoring the wine of the sliding mechanics as it slammed back to its original closed resting state.

"Don't take it personally, Natsu's very protective of himself." Lissana tried, (as if Lucy didn't already know that) hopping over to sit next to the blonde. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I only know because I was there the day he arrived. I thought maybe he would have told you, finally opened up to somebody."

"Why would he open up to me? You've known him much longer."

Lissana huffed playfully, tossing her hair with a flick of her wrist. "Even I can see the way he looks at you, all doe-eyed and bashful. It's hard not to notice really."

"Natsu is anything but bashful." Lucy scoffed, giggling slightly. "Though I'm sure I could say the same for you."

"That's sweet of you to say," The fair-haired maiden flushed, "But I have my theories." Lucy stilled for a moment. Was she making a joke? Natsu had never pushed the boundaries that they had established over the years of their friendship, unlike he pushed for the fair-haired woman. Maybe it was because her feelings were so blatant, easy to play off of. Not to mention the comfort fo the family dynamic he shared with her siblings. It's not like she could find any reason she wouldn't want to notice casual pining in her direction, especially from somebody like him, any girl could dream of being so lucky. It was just that it didn't happen like that, and she didn't see any change for the future.

"You're ridiculous." She decided as a response, to which Lissana chuckled fondly. The rest of the trip remained rather silent, even after the dragon slayers return.

Meeting with the client went well, no arguments or concerns from the traveling wizard trio. The client himself was nothing out of the ordinary, a common man whose mother had been a successful wizard. Though he possessed no enchantment of his own, he held the secret of magic secure. The man owned a gracious amount of property in the city, majority of the population's homes falling on his land. Expressing his concerns for the people he bid the group luck as they headed to find the feverish bandit group that had been terrorizing them. Natsu didn't remove his face-concealing cloak, let alone speak during the whole exchange which only left the blonde wondering if he recognized the man from his childhood years. Unlikely as it was, she couldn't shake the suspicion; her friend's body language balancing on peculiar.

The bandit group, Twilight Oger (or so they called it.) had taken up residence in the city's abandoned mine. Converting the tunnels into a makeshift base. The group had established a rather daunting reputation with the city of Stella, the citizens growing too weary to attempt to run them out on their own. The royal guard batting an unusually blind eye. The rumor of their supposed sex trafficking didn't sit well with Lucy either. "We should set up a plan," Lissana suggested lightly. Her voice a much-needed contrast to the silence they had been walking in.

"Walk through the front doors and knock some heads."

Lucy shook her head playfully at the brash fire-breather, shoving his shoulder slightly. "I think we should split up," The peppy white-haired woman continued. "It would be easier to sneak around, a stealthy approach might be best considering we don't know how spread out in the tunnels they are."

"Also easier for one of us to get caught off guard. Aren't these thugs notorious for trapping woman?"

"You aren't traveling with common woman Natsu." The fair-haired woman retorted back. "Don't be so degrading, we can handle ourselves just fine." The peaceful smile she sported did little to sweeten her harsh words. Though Lucy found herself nodding slowly in agreement. "Plus it'll allow me to try out my new spell without you two getting in the way." She winked cheekily.

"I dunno," the dragon slayer mumbled, scratching at his throat in practiced fashion. "I really think we should stick together, I have a bad feeling about this place." Lucy could practically taste the anxiety of his words as they dripped over his chin. They should probably listen, Natsu's suspicions usually turned out to be right. But his overly annoying constant worrying from the city made it hard to distinguish his keen senses from his blind panic. Nothing ever happened to them in Stella. A nieve approach yes, but also a chance to prove herself to the man that always seems to protect her.

"I think it should be alright," the blonde finally interjected. "The tunnels should echo enough to hear one another if we call for help." Natsu simply shook his head muttering an annoyed Whatever under his breath. She felt kind of bad, gaining up on the man. This was supposed to be his birthday mission after all. But in all honestly, Lucy found herself surprisingly excited, an opportunity to show her teammate how far she'd advanced. A fully-fledged Fairy Tail member that could handle her own.

The group traveled to their destination at a quick pace. The air filled with Lissana's constant enamored pestering towards a certain Salamander. Lucy more distracted by the winding paths of the city's streets, decorated sporadically with aged trees and vegetation. She thought it was rather sweet, how well her two teammates were getting along. Even with Lissana's words on the way over. It was nice to see Natsu's pleased expression towards the woman. A long-time childhood friend and admirer. Though their newest member still bristled her, Lucy made a silent promise to invite her out with them more. It was nice to travel alongside another female, and if it made Natsu happy, then she was sure she could live with it.

The sun was beginning to set by the time they arrived, the night sky pouring out for its time to play. The stars blessing Lucy's soul, her magic vibrating deliciously under her skin. Her power almost doubling in the light of the night. The moon's shift was her favorite time to cast. As they stepped through the taped off mine entrance she could practically feel her excitement begin to bubble over. Traditionally she held a rather level head during missions, keeping her partner's explosive personality in check. Yet she found herself letting go, ready to show off her own power.

"I really think we should push through together," Natsu mumbled under his breath. The words so foreign on the rambunctious man's tongue; always ready to run ahead of the group in search of action, yet never far enough away that he couldn't protect those closest to him. It wasn't a secret that he was much stronger than his usual travel partner Lucy, but she didn't want him to feel obligated in protecting her when he already does so much.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Lissana bubbled, already skipping off towards one of the winding shafts. Lucy's lips pulling into a smile as she began following her lead towards another turn-off.

"Lucy." Her name pronounced like rocks on cement, jaded and sharp. She spun on her heel carefully, her smile falling at the dragon slayer's serious tone.

"I can take care of myself Natsu." She mused. "You don't need to hold my hand all the time."

A low grumble resounded in the boy's throat as he ran his rough fingers through spiked locks nervously. "Geeze Luce, I know I don't." She raised her eyebrow at his cautious tone. "It's just.. last time you were on your own I found you beaten half to death in the middle of the forest."

All mocking aside, Lucy felt her temper skyrocket. Of course, he didn't think she was capable. "I'm not a fragile little princess anymore. That was years ago." She spat, anger boiling over. "You don't need to save me all the time."

"I know, I know... I just want you to be careful. Sometimes you have trouble keeping your magic under control during the night."

"Like you're one to talk, you burn everything around you the second your emotions get out of wack." Internally she knew her anger was getting the better of her, words falling from her jaw faster then her mind could process. He was just worried about her, as a caring teammate should be. The pained expression he was now wearing only verified that fact. Mindlessly her fingers began fidgeting at her belt. Her lungs pushing her spitfire attitude out with a breathy exhale. "I'm sorry Natsu, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just excited is all. I'll be careful, I promise." Natsu's deep onyx gaze burned into her for a moment before he nodded, although reluctant, it was an agreement none the less. She reached out, squeezing his wrist confidently before turning back to face her chosen path. "You be careful too! Mira will surly cut off my head if I bring you home needing more stitches."

The forgotten shafts were confusing, to say the least. The floorplan coming across as sporadic and unplanned. There was little that argued what a great hideout it made, trapping its victims in a maze until they were prayed upon by vicious ogres. The lack of security flowing down the halls only proving that their targets felt the same way. Lucy had only run into two men along the way, their skills lacking, making it an easy victory for the blonde. The lack of scream's echoing offered that her teammates were fairing the same. Even with their earlier agreement that stealth was the best option, Natsu had never been the quiet/silent type. Especially when fired up in a battle. Either the mine shafts didn't share sound as good as Lucy had estimated, or he hadn't run into anyone just yet.

The must that surrounded her intensified greatly as she progressed, the smell practically suffocating her. Senses dampened by its nature. The only sound around her was the clack of boots connecting to the rocky earth, and the creaky hinge of the lantern strung to her hip. The ground becoming less and less traveled. It was peculiar really, with the placement of the mine so central to town. One would think at least a few curious teenagers would have come to poke around before rumors had sprouted about Twilight ogres appearance. And yet her footprint's were the only evidence of human life.

Groaning loudly, Lucy spun, heading back towards the entrance. Agitated that her luck pulled her towards one of the unused routes. Expectedly her group had already rounded up majority of their targets while she wandered around uselessly. Placing her palm to her forehead she let out an embarrassed huff. All her big talk was for nothing, the harsh tone she had used against her friend making her mood plummet even farther. All she could do now was pick up her pace and hope she could make herself helpful with tying up loose ends. Lucy always hated when jobs turned out this way, especially when Natsu insisted she collected her portion of the reward despite her actual effort. Not that it mattered today, this mission was supposed to be for Natsu after all. And truthfully after Lissana had decided to join them she had done nothing to make the trip enjoyable for her pink-haired friend. Silently she promised to the empty halls that she would apologize to him when they finished their job.

When Lucy rounded the corner back to the entrance she was debating which tunnel to follow. Pacing back and forth in front of Natsu's entrance before resolving that his nose probably led him exactly where he wanted to go. With quick steps she bounded down the winding hall's, trying her best to stay along the path of the firebreathers signature sandal footprints.

A scream that caused her blood to run cold echoed around her with striking prominence. Lissana's sweet tone coming across shrill and ragged. There wasn't a moment to process before Lucy's legs propelled her forward. The sound of angelic sobs guiding her path. Any and all excitement she had previously been consumed with smothered like a candle without oxygen. The shaft began to blossom with light as she rounded each corner, the weight barring planks becoming more and more re-enforced. If that wasn't already enough clues she was approaching the center of the base, the newly constructed grand entrance that appeared before her did.

Acting quickly, Lucy pressed herself against the corner of the doorframe, analyzing the situation before charging headstrong into the commotion. Obviously, the treacherous group had put some work in. The cavern dugout to be much larger than anything man-made underground should be. Large metal lanterns decorating the ceiling with patterned placement. Casting enough light to see, but not enough to dismiss the eerie atmosphere. Small beds, makeshift furniture and gang members coating the outer walls while the center remained bare. Except of course for the probable main event of their evening.

A rugged-looking man stood center a wooden stage-like platform. Greasy hair curling over knarled shoulders. Even in the dim light, Lucy couldn't miss the disgusting gleam of the man's golden teeth. Oh so typical of a rich bandit. But what really caught her off guard was the squirming woman entrapped by his rugged arms, top strewn aside leaving her covered only in lacy white undergarments. His chapped lips smirking into her cheek while he pinned her against his bare chest. His one hand prying dirty fingers into her supple mouth while the other pressed a rusty blade to her exposed stomach. Though not enough pressure to break skin, it was just enough to make Lucy's mouth run dry.

"Let her go." Natsu's enraged voice scrapped over every surface, demanding attention from all living things. Lucy cast her eyeline off to the side, finally noting her partner's presence. His clothes looked slightly battle-torn, but overall he looked un-worrisome. His expression was firm, lips drawn into a tight line while his eyes trained on the enemy standing before him. Even from her placement on the other side of the cavern, Lucy could feel the scorching waves roll off of him. A terrifying might in the face of adversity.

"What are you going to do about it fire boy?" The man's shrill voice causing Lucy to shiver. "Even if you get rid of us, more will come. Those royal soldiers are very eager customers. And there's plenty of women to go around here." Natsu lunged forward, feet indenting the ground with sheer pressure. The man howled playfully, cackling like a madman as he sidestepped out of harm's way. Lissana squeaking at the sudden movement." Natsu spun quickly, fang-like teeth bared while he coiled his muscles, ready for his next pounce. "Make a move like that again and I might have to carve up your little girlfriend early!' The blade against her stomach pressed deeper, causing Lissana to jolt, a high pitched screech crawling between the man's fingers. A sloppy line of red spilling from her torso down the hilt of the blade. Natsu looked frozen, his eyes never daring to stray from the glint of metal. Mind fighting with his anger to consider the safest course of action.

Shit shit shit. This was definitely not how Lucy had expected to reunite with her teammates. Instantly her fingers shot into the confines of her purse, searching desperately for the lone piece of white chalk she always carried. Mind racing dangerously through her memorized incantations. Though her magic wasn't necessarily designed for hand to hand combat like Natsu's, she held a natural talent for spellcasting. Confident that she was capable of at least making a big enough distraction for Natsu to proceed, she started scratching the lines of a practiced magic circle. The white of the chalk easily visible over the dark rock beneath her. Her frantic hand movements made the lines far less legible then she preferred, but it would do for now. The blonde dropped her weight to the floor, careful in her attempt to stay silent as she crossed her legs. Delicate palms slapping against the earth over her created circle. Her eyelids slamming shut in concentration while her lips parted for the whisper of incantation. Almost instantly the very ground beneath them shook with purpose, guiding cracks up the walls and spewing rocks from the ceiling. She didn't worry about frightening her teammates, she knew Natsu could smell her, even with his focus concentrated elsewhere. Hopefully, they could get this situated and escape to safety before she brought heaven's wrath down atop their heads. The spell itself was no easy feat, calling upon the gods light to alter the earth. Lucy only capable of casting it under the light of the moon. No doubt it would bring attention from the townsfolk their way, but at this moment the blonde thought it was the best course of action. She could feel the shudder under her legs as the shafts hidden deeper under the earth collapsed, the roaring sound of rockfall scattering through the cavern.

Natsu's strong tone carried over easily as he sneered cheekily, "Now you really fucked up. Gone and made the angel mad." Even in deep concentration, Lucy felt a smile drum at her lips.

"I already knew there was three of you. We thieves hear of all magic activity in Stella. She's no threat, pesky fairies lack the resolve to drop the ground over the heads of their 'comrades'."

"Bet." The dragon slayer's singular cocky reply sang like a choir to Lucy, pushing her magic to expand outwards. A sickening crack bestowed over them, one of the main support beams snapping under pressure. The scared cries of ogres screaming far louder. The blond's brow furrowed slightly as she felt her very skin vibrate, her magic fluctuating drastically. "You're okay Lucy." Natsu's voice rang true, obviously taking notice in her power surge. Yes, she was O.K. She wouldn't falter so easily when her friend's lives were on the line. She just had to keep the main cavern intact a little longer, enough time for them to escape. She was strong, and she could do it.

The man continued to cackle hysterically, bouncing his weight between his feet. "Bad move fire boy." He taunted. All Lucy could hear was Lissana's blood curtailing wail and Natsu's panicked shouts when she realized they had lost. Her lashes fluttered open, eyes rolling uncomfortably as her vision was obstructed by blinding light. She couldn't stop. She was losing control, just as her partner had foreseen. Her own magic blinding her sight.

"Lucy!" Natsu's worried screech reached from the main cavern. "Cut the fuse!" A pit burned its way into the depths of her stomach, fear of how this situation was going to end if she couldn't regain control. All she had wanted to do was help, and now the situation was only going to get worse. Splinters of support beams rained furiously over her, enraged with being disturbed after so many silent years. She felt her body shake with the earth's pure ferocity. "Please, Lucy!" He tried again, his voice swirling with Lissana's wild screams. She still couldn't stop. She was going to kill them all.

Lucy wasn't sure how many agonizingly slow minutes had passed when her vision finally re-focused, disturbingly strong hands clamping around her delicate wrist's and pulling her back to earth. And god, what an unpleasant sight to be greeted with. Two men that reeked of whiskey and sex smirking greedily at her.

"You's a pretty scary witch when you're casting, eyes going all white and shit. Body twitching like an addict." Lucy scrambled back frantically, her spine slamming into the stone arch. The men leaping upon her with a timed pounce, pinning her tightly against the frame. The first man stretching his fingers around her chin. "But yet, your so pretty. I'd have fun breaking a little thing like you." His alcohol glazed tongue searing along her creamy cheek. Lucy screeched vividly in disgust, springing her knee upwards to the man's groin. He recoiled with blunt movements, swinging his arm around to backhand her. The ferocity splitting her skin. "You sly bitch!" He fired another shot to her jaw. "You's makin' enemies with the wrong person." She tried to pry her head away from the man's violent swings, eyes scrambling to take in her surroundings. Small pebbles and dust still gave way from the ceiling, but the ground seemed to have relaxed, her magic cut out at the roots. The tunnel she had originally traveled down lay in ruin, barley leaving enough space for a full-grown adult to crawl back to the light. Thankfully though, the traumatizing screams had stopped, Natsu's much calmer voice the only thing ringing out.

"You okay Lucy?!"

If the blonde hadn't received another painful blow to her lower lip she probably would have snickered. "A little preoccupied at the moment." She grunted, purposely spitting the blood that was pooling around her gums over her assailant's face. She bucked her legs intently, thrashing around like a child until she freed one of her arms. With a sinched brow she slammed her palm over the first man's chest, muttering a simple incantation that caused her hand to pulse. Holy light rained down again, this time pin-pointed above her enemy's lungs and flinging him backward through the semi-demolished doorway and into the main cavern. A short victory smile produced from her mouth before she felt her body tremor. A light, yet firm reminder of how much magic she had just finished exerting, and how fragile it made her body.

Sucking in a deep breath she tried to muster strength from tomorrow, using her free hand to claw into the dirt. Muscles protesting annoyingly while she pulled herself away from the remaining man. "Not so fast witch." His tone twisting the word to sound like a vulgar insult. The hilt of his own blade striking into the round bone of her ankle. A torn wail exhaled from her, reacting to the pain but thanking the heavens that she hadn't heard the crack of her bones splitting. It wasn't much, but it gave the man an opening, tucking his legs in only to spring them out into her back. Shoving her ungracefully through the frame to join the rest of the crowd. Lucy cradled her ribs carefully, attempting to regain the air that man had so rudely ripped away from her. She was only able to catch a glimpse of her dragon slayers unreadable expression before more greedy hands tore her from the ground, dragging her center-stage to join the 'show'.

"Well fire boy, I suppose thanks are in order." The leader mewled again tapping his now drenched blade against a whimpering Lissana's torso. "Bringing me two of the most beautiful woman in Fiore and barely puttin up a fight to keep them." He was taunting now, voice never losing his deranged laughter. "Don't know why to maidens of this caliber are slugging around with someone like you, but I guess I should give you a little credit," Natsu growled darkly, his body growing tenser (If that was even possible), muscles coiling dangerously. The leader followed Lucy with hungry eyes, watching as Lucy was strung up by another man in the same manner as Lissana. The only difference was the blade pushing fearfully hard against the pulse point of her throat, leaving her stomach out of harm's way. Honestly, she wasn't sure which she would prefer more. She watched Natsu's dark anguish filled orbs bounce back and forth between her and Lissana. She tried to capture his attention, pleading with him by expression that everything was going to be alright. That he should focus on the more injured of the two and leave her to her own devices, but his glance never lasted long enough. "I know!" The leader piped up again excitedly. "It seems a little unfair to steal away both your girls after that pathetic display," He toyed, "So, how about I suggest a little game?"

"I ain't playing shit." Natsu responded bluntly.

"Don't be such a downer fire boy, this will be fun."

"Every time I hear that, things don't usually end up being that 'fun'." He spat. relaxing his tight fist momentarily before clenching it again.

The leader only smiley devilishly, continuing his frantic knife tapping over Lissana's stained skin. "I'm going to let you pick one." He decided. "Pick a girl to take home while one rots away under some pompous sex-deprived guard." The look on Natsu's face practically shattered Lucy's heart. One of absolute horror that something like that had even been offered to him. His singular broken reply of sick bastard weighing heavily on the limited oxygen.

"It's okay Natsu," Lucy offered dumbly, wincing when the tip of the blade punctured her skin. Hot thick liquid oozing down her neck, threatening to break her resolve. "Take Lissana out of here, I'll be alright." She tried to produce a weak smile but Natsu's sad cold eyes froze her as he shook his head. She gulped loudly, feeling the blade press deeper with her every word. Her captor obviously not pleased with her speech. "Please." She tried again, but Natsu only shook his head faster.

"No way in hell."

"This is so not the time to be stubborn." She retched, cringing at the sticky feeling coating over her chest. She tried to ask him again but the blade slid uncomfortably under her skin and all she could summon was strangled yelp. Surprisingly, it did nothing to help the exchange.

The dragon slayer's eyes bulged, raising his arm's defensively, voice frantic and lost. "Stop!" He yelled, "Don't hurt them anymore, give me a second to think!" She had never seen the man look so uncomfortable.

Lucy slammed her eyes shut at her holders' increasingly wild movements, jerking the blade against her without a care. "This is ridiculous lover boy," The leader spat over his laughter. "I, out of the goodness of my own heart offer you back one of the women you practically dropped in my lap. And you cant even decide which pussy you'd rather ride? Pathetic!" He hollered, the rest of his goon's joining in. "I'm good and bored now, you sucked all the fun out of this. I don't even need these girls!" At this point, it was hard to distinguish words through his manic howls. "You have three seconds before I just kill them both." Natsu's attention snapped back to him like his mind was finally processing the events that were about to unfold.

The cold-hearted cheering of a slow count sprouted from the other members. Starting at Three and barley pronouncing the O in One before all hell broke loose. The roaring sound of metal clad boots slamming into the earth above, signaling the extremely overdue arrival of the royal army. Bandits screaming and crawling over one another like wild animals in search of escape from a rabid predator. And Natsu's scalding shoulder crashing into her sternum, throwing her away from the wicked man's grasp. She rolled roughly against the dirt, hand shooting to her throat to pressurize the bleeding. She was gulping greedily for air when she heard the stomach flipping joyful voice cry out above the commotion. "Good choice! I think I would have picked her too." Nothing but freezing, blood-curdling cries followed. Lucy felt her limbs stiffen at the sound, her chocolate irises the only responsive part of her body. Taking in her horrific environment with shocking detail. Natsu was only a few steps away from Lissana, His body recovering quickly from surging towards her, propelling him back to the remaining prisoner. But a few steps was a few too many, and Lucy and her partner could do nothing but watch as their friend was quite literally gutted before them.

Blood had always been red. But nothing compared to the deep scarlet pooled around the stark white of Lissana's being. An enraged bloody titan plucking the clouds goddess right from the sky and dragging her to the fiery pits of hell. That is, if hell consisted of somebody shredding your torso to smithereens and hysterically laughing as vital organs spewed through the skin. Lucy was sure that in this world, nothing would ever hold a candle to the vile scene displayed before her. The grotesque sound of a lifeless body crashing limply over its inner parts. The ferocious roar of a wounded dragon casting thieves to scaper away, a high pitched squeal on their lips. All the while a daunting march of hungry war men encroached on them.

Lucy's head snapped painfully back to reality. They couldn't stay here, the army would swallow them alive. The Ogres were sprinting out of a tunnel near the back of the cavern, no doubt another way out laid beyond it. They still had a chance. With a silent prayer to all that was holy, she pulled herself up from her shambled mess on the floor. Taking rushed staggered footsteps towards her partner and the offending carcass in front of him. "Natsu..." She croaked. "We need to get out of here." She rested her palm on his shoulder, placing most of her weight on him. Her ankle lacking in its career of helping her walk. He didn't seem to notice her. Lips quivering as he muttered under his breath, fingers twitching, coated in the blood he had tried to prevent. "Natsu, we need to go..." She tried again, giving the man a light shake.

"We can't just leave her here..." His broken cry pleaded, head-spinning to meet her gaze. Never, in all the years Lucy had known Natsu, had she seen him cry. His deep onyx eyes swimming with salty tears, his raging passion extinguished. Her strong motivator completely shattered before her, frantically attempting to scoop spilled organs back into a frayed body. The footsteps of soldiers drawing ever closer as her own tears spilled over.

"Please Natsu." She sobbed, gaging slightly as blood bubbled from the split in her throat. She thought his previous expression succeeded in breaking her heart, but the look he was giving her now practically split it in two. A mangled pain-ridden yell erupting from his chest while he grasped Lucy's wrist, dragging her away from their murdered friend and the on slot of guards that inadvertently let it happen.

Again, check out the full story here! ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/3/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke

#natsu #natsu dragneel #lucy #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail #fairy tail fanfiction #fan fiction #lisanna strauss #zeref #Nalu #nalu fanfic #nalu fanfiction

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

                         I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at. 

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

 Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned. 

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you. 

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

 Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late. 

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears. 

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now. 

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up. 

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

 Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

 But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

 Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

[furidojasutin]

Dragon slayers and smiling cupcakes

Characters: Freed Justine, (Mirajane Strauss), Gajeel Redfox, Laxus Dreyar

Ships: Brotps man. All of these three(/four) mixed up but with a focus on Laxus/Gajeel brotp. (also mentioned/slight romantic Fraxus on the side)

Universe: Canon

Rating: K+

a/n: Basically, some bonding time between Laxus and Gajeel. A request done for the nerd @oftetsuryu !! It’s also kind of, a little based on the bonds between our roleplay muses but, yea!! Jules ilu!! A little later than initially intended but here you go and I hope you like it omg.

“You'll be held responsible for any damage in the kitchen,” Mirajane warned him, her hand lifted as she pointed at the Raijinshuu's captain with her index finger. Everybody knew that Mira loved her bar, and the guild's kitchen as well. It was part of her daily job and passion.

But Freed just smiled. It was a calm smile, as though he was certain that there would be absolutely nothing for the barmaid to worry about while in fact it was indeed a bit of a risky business. Nonetheless, he could see the hint of an incoming, amused smile on her face as well.

“Of course. I'll take the blame if necessary.”

“Good,” Mira hummed, the smile now appearing. There was amusement in her eyes as much as the his and with another hum she gave the rune mage a nod and then turned around, her dress swaying as she did so. “I already have an idea.”

From then on, it was Mira's turn to take over for a while.

xxx xxx

By this time, the kitchen was a mess. But it was an absolutely negligible mess, to Mirajane's surprise. She really had expected it to look worse than it was looking now and it even seemed as though Freed's plan proved to be successful, in its own way.

Two men had secretly been paired up for this request, for God knows what reason Mira had trotted out, so they were forced to spend some more time together and maybe get to know each other a little more. Laxus and Gajeel.

After unexpectedly being requested for a job, Freed and Gajeel had begun to bond more than they'd ever anticipated they would. It turned out that their magics worked well alongside one another, and many parts of their personality either mirrored each other just enough to fit well or they shared certain attitudes. It had been an unforeseen friendship, although of course each member of the guild was somehow involved with one another. Some more than others.

Freed and Laxus had been a couple for about half a year. It hadn't been a surprise to many of the guild when they finally announced that they've kind of been dating for some time. They experienced full support ever since, and nothing else. It was something both of them were extremely grateful for; Makarov's instant approval and his statement that he'd already seen it coming anyway had been especially special to them both.

And Laxus and Gajeel? There had been occasional short conversations at the bar but both didn't really seem to get comfortable enough with each other, one reason for it certainly being Laxus' lack of social skill. He tended to stay quiet, observe and listen and Gajeel often preferred to keep to himself as well, unless his company was somebody especially close to him. Or Natsu, or Gray or... anybody he apparently ended up bickering with on an almost regular basis.

Either way, both dragon slayers had been standing in the guild's kitchen for some time now. Mirajane had given them a recipe to take care of and since she at least knew that Laxus wasn't exactly skilled at the art of cooking and baking, she had expected the outcome to be worse. On the other hand, it had surprised her how well Gajeel seemed to be handling the task. Perhaps he had more cooking and baking skill than most anticipated of him.

The exact recipe she had given them didn't seem to be anything special at first. But when they read the last part of this task, they'd hesitated at first.

“Why's that even necessary? What are those for?” Gajeel frowned as he eyed the different options of edible garnishment that were meant for the cupcakes they had baked. Hey, they didn't end up burned!

“It's a little surprise for the orphanage. Cana's bringing them over later, unless you two want to accompany her since you did so well in preparing these.” Mirajane wore her usual sweet smile as she stepped between the two men and eyed their work. She was really satisfied, and the two hadn't been really bickering either. Merely... occasionally annoyed.

“Why isn't she baking them herself then?” Laxus asked, broad arms folded before his chest. He threw a side-glance at the barmaid, thick brows furrowed, before shifting his gaze back to the cupcakes. He'd really liked to spend his time in a different way.

“Stop grumbling, you two. You did great, now finish your work, hm?” Mira looked at Gajeel, then at Laxus. They both knew this smile of hers. It meant that she'd leave them absolutely no room for any complaints, and before they could say anything she had already turned around to leave again and take care of the bar.

“Seriously...”

“I heard that, Laxus.”~

Laxus grimaced at the poisonously sweet tone of her voice. Secretly, he didn't mind creating something for the orphanage and neither did Gajeel. In fact, the iron dragon slayer had shown to be rather good with children and Laxus... well, he tried. Almost everybody guessed that he was a big softie at heart; it just didn't get to the surface too often.

“'lright. Gotta finish this then,” Gajeel muttered and stared down at the edible saucer eyes, and all the colorful stuff. It was almost funny... almost.

At first the two weren't really sure how to start but as the minutes passed by it got quiet around them.

The one or other cupcake had been completed and was ready to delivered. Big round eyes and lots of colorful pearls and other stuff, all edible. It was a dream for any fan of sweet stuff and a nightmare for those who preferred the bitter or spicy or salty kinds of food and treats.

Putting another finished cupcake to the side, Laxus turned his head. All the cupcakes were supposed to have eyes; he just had some troubles placing them so they actually looked even. “Y'are really into this, aren't you?”

“Eh?” Gajeel looked up, a moment delayed. Just this bit of hesitation betrayed him as he answered. “No way. This is... shitty work....”

Laxus snorted. “Yea, that's why you're so concentrated.” That, and Gajeel's cupcakes looked a little better than his own. He was trying as well though. He really was. At first he'd thought of this as utterly stupid except for the reason they were doing this (why did the cupcakes have to have eyes?). But now he saw it as small challenge; a task he had to complete with success just like any other. It motivated him further to do well (and, perhaps, for the kids...).

“Shaddup beefcake,” Gajeel grumbled, feeling a little caught, and he heard Laxus growl lightly at the nickname he'd been given. Laxus didn't like nicknames.

But Gajeel hardly cared. He had respect for the lightning dragon slayer, lots of respect. But they'd conversed at least often enough to know that they were on good terms rather than bad ones. That, and he'd still have the bonus of being friends with Laxus' boyfriend.

In fact, that thought gave him a bit confidence. “Least my cupcakes look better than yours, gihi.” With a grin the iron dragon slayer finished another and put it right next to the other man's.

“Tzch, I don't give a damn.” Laxus averted his orange eyes from him and continued working on the cupcake of his that was wearing a kind of sad face at the moment. He had to change that. Despite what he'd just said, he did care.

And Gajeel could sense that.

From this moment on, the decoration of the cupcakes sort of became a small, unspoken fight. Who could make them prettier? Cuter?

Once again there was silence as both of them fell into a state of concentration. Until they were almost done and it was actually Laxus who initiated the next conversation.

“So... Freed and you are gettin' along pretty well, yea?”

Blinking, not having expected any such question, Gajeel looked at the taller man briefly. He was a bit insecure. He wasn't sure why. Hesitating a little, he responded. “Uh... yea. Didn't expect that myself if I'm perfectly honest but anyway... He's a pretty cool guy.”

Laxus frowned, fidgeting with one of the eyes before putting it on the last cupcake. “He is, yea.”

Gajeel shrugged. “Honestly, I thought all four of ya were just some conceited assholes back then when ya pulled that shit.” He knew that perhaps this wasn't the best subject to approach but he had made grave mistakes as well. They all had something in common, Laxus and Freed and Bixlow and Ever and Juvia and him...

For the briefest moments a shadow appeared on Laxus' face, eyes darkening at the memory. They had been assholes, without question. Assholes put it mildly still, actually. But he too knew that Gajeel hadn't gotten here without having pulled shit before. He'd know... After all, he had attacked him for it before his complete return with the plan of the Battle in Fairy Tail in his pocket.

“But all of ya're pretty decent, honestly.” Gajeel gave another shrug. In fact, he got along with the four of them fairly well. At times he still had some troubles with Evergreen but he approved of her sass most of the time and she seemed to get along with Juvia as well and everybody who got along with her this well automatically gained a plus in his books.

Laxus hadn't expected to hear such open approval. The growing friendship between them, if he dared to call it that, had always been rather unspoken. Heh well, actually... Just like the romantic love between Freed and him had been for the longest time. They had just been... dating for some time before they actually realized that it was dating, and then made it offical. He was glad that Freed had to courage to approach the subject after such a long time of silence, and it took Laxus enough to figure out his exact feels anyway.

“... yer pretty decent too, I guess.” He tried. Folding his arms he stared ahead stubbornly but he saw the ghost of a characteristic grin on Gajeel's face.

Just then a flash of green appeared in the door way and before either of them could spot the arrived person another voice sounded in the kitchen the two dragon slayers had been working in.

“I see you're making good progress?”

Laxus and Gajeel turned around in unison. Both remained silent, almost as if they felt as if they got busted doing anything wrong.

Of course, Freed had very well perceived the last bit of their conversation. It had been pure coincidence to approach just in time, but he was pretty contented with what he heard. His facial expression revealed nothing about this inner satisfaction, although there was the slightest glint in his eyes accompanying the subtle smirk that threatened to play on his face.

“Oh, you're done already?” The captain proceeded once he had joined their side and took a look at the decorated cupcakes. Oh Mira, you've had no mercy on them, have you?, Freed thought with amusement as he spotted all the sweet treats that were looking at him. He'd have loved to watch just for a few moments.

“Uh, yea.” Laxus lifted his right hand to scratch the back of his neck in slight awkwardness. He wasn't embarrassed or anything. It had been his task after all. Okay... perhaps he was a tad bit embarrassed.

“Whatcha say?” At least Gajeel had found back his grin. He appeared almost proud and Freed uttered a faint huff.

“They're uh... adorable. So Mira made you do this?”

“Yea,” Laxus replied and fell back into his previous position. “Told us she needed us because nobody else had time. 's for the orphanage Cana likes to visit.”

“Hm.” Freed nodded, acknowledging his boyfriend's response with a hum. It was almost difficult to stay quiet about the entire thing, that he had been the one to contrive this little attack and the thought coaxed a full-on smirk out of him after all.

“What are ya smirking at?”

“Where have ya been anyway? Yer better at this shit than me,” Laxus joined. He too had actually been surprised to find out that Gajeel wasn't all too bad with this.

“Nothing,” Freed hummed and then turned to the dragon slayer to reply to him as well. “My specialty is cooking, not baking.” Although admittedly, he wasn't horrible at it either. Nevertheless, cooking was his thing and after his time at Blue Pegasus he'd specialized further in mixing drinks as well. Baking came last. “And I've been helping Master with some finances while Mira and Levy were busy as well. Oh-”

Before Laxus had the chance to answer, Freed reached out to wipe a bit of batter off Laxus' nose. How adorable it was. Licking it off his finger he shot his boyfriend another amused look. “There.”

Caught off guard, the lightning dragon slayer just blinked, then averted his gaze as the faintest shade of red seeped into his cheeks.

Freed then turned around to face Gajeel and raised a brow before nodding towards him, indicating that he had something on his face as well.

“...” The iron dragon slayer frowned before- “-oi oi, don't ya dare! Can take care of myself!” It was more of a joke than anything else and Freed shook his head.

“You wouldn't have gotten this special treatment anyway.”

Laxus felt a bit of warmth in his chest this time; some sort of fuzzy smug contentment at hearing this.

“Well, I don't want it!” Gajeel dragged his palm along his face. “Oi Laxus, why didn't ya tell me that I got something on my face anyway?”

“Tchz, ya didn't tell me either.”

Freed turned around and took a step back so he wouldn't have to keep looking back and forth between them anymore. And Laxus looked down at both of the shorter men who were about the same height. “So what now?” At least the tiny blush had disappeared again and the lightning mage had adopted a neutral expression again.

“Where's Mira so we can tell her that we're done?”

“You two did pretty well, I bet she'll be contented with your work,” Freed replied truthfully. The kitchen did look a little messier than usual, yes, but all in all everything had worked out in all their favor. “I can go and let her know that you're done.”

“'lright. We'll just wait here, I guess,” Laxus shrugged and frowned a little when he spotted the anew streak of a smirk on his boyfriend's face just when he turned around. Gajeel did too, but he didn't think any more of it.

Until they heard Freed mutter.

“... and let her know that everything went as planned, just like I told her.”

And both Laxus and Gajeel's faces dropped.

Whether Freed had intended for the two of them to hear him or he simply forgot about their enhanced senses in this moment of smug satisfaction; they didn't know.

But they did know that they'd pay him back for this, or both Mira and him, even if they had to admit that this situation hadn't quite ended up being as bad as they thought.

In fact, it had been nice in its own strange way.

#ftfanfics #gajeel redfox #laxus dreyar #freed justine #fairy tail #fraxus #mirajane strauss #jules i rly hope u like it bye #i feel so rusty #sel writes #freed x laxus #my stuff #gajeel #laxus #freed #ft #mirajane

[7r0773r]

Medallion Status by John Hodgman

As you know, airports occupy their own country. Let’s settle this once and for all: if you have a stopover at an airport in, say, Phoenix or Berlin, you cannot say you have visited Arizona or Germany. you have only visited AIRPORT, a dimension outside the jurisdiction of not only literal local law, but also most unspoken social contracts about when it is acceptable to sleep in public, wear sweatpants, and drink and drink and drink and drink in the morning. I myself drink a free drink whenever possible, but to my own surprise,I have never succumbed to this morning temptation. Perhaps I fear emitting the same giddy light that I see in the faces of all the other middle-aged moms and dads when they sip their first vodka-sodas and breakfast Sam Adamses in the Sky Lounge, the smiles and shining eyes that say:

Finally, I am alive again. For the first time since college, or maybe high school, I am freed from the drudgery of work and childcare and decent behavior that I use to distract myself from the grim drift of my body, my enflabbening into the picture of my own mom or dad. Suddenly I am not afraid of dying on this flight to Atlanta. Or ever. In fact, part of me hopes the plane does go down, because it will never, ever get better than this.

Once in a Sky Lounge, I noticed the self-serve bar had a bottle of Fernet-Branca, an esoteric Italian digestif that tastes like pine cones soaked in menthol and grave dirt that is favored by hipster chefs and weirdo booze completists like me who used to write about non-wine alcohol for magazines. I pitied the poor cocktail nerd who put it there. The Sky Lounge bar is no place for mixology. The Sky Lounge is not aspirational. It is desperational. (pp. 23-24)

***

The waste involved in this trip was obscene: of money, of jet fuel, of time. None of it was justifiable. Was I really going to do this? Fly five hours across the country? Get out at LAX? Leave the airport just long enough to go to the In-N-Out burger that’s right near the airport on Sepulveda? Was I going to have a double-double animal-style while sitting outside, watching those big planes land just across the road, roaring in-n-out of the sky and blasting your face with their diesel majesty, their liveries from around the world? Was I really not going to call anyone in LA, but be there, briefly, a lonely ghost without friends or family? And was I then going to just go back to the airport, reenter with no luggage one last time through that Beloved One portal, to take my seat on the plane and fly back through the night, eating first class food curated by Danny Meyer and drinking free whiskey and watching Mad Max: Fury Road three times? 

As I considered it, I realized: this sounded like it was going to be the best day of my life. 

But then I thought about my son. I thought about what he would say when I told him I could not bring him to school that morning.

“Are you going away again, Dada?” he would ask.

“Yes,” I would reply.

“For work?” he would ask.

“Well...” I would reply. “It’s hard to explain, son. I have to leave you. I have to fly across the country, and I may need to use some of your college savings to pay for it. But don’t worry: I will be flying right back. I just have to be there for a couple of hours. I just have to go to collect an imaginary medallion. But you understand, of course. You’re a gamer. It’s time for me to level up.

“Think of Pac-Man. Out there in the maze, there is a power dot. And if I go to Los Angeles and eat it, then for a brief moment, I will be bigger. For a brief period of time I will be able to turn around and eat the ghosts of guilt and doubt and shame and self-hatred (aka Shadow, Speedy, Bashful, and fucking Clyde), and as I eat them, the ghosts will say, ‘Thank you for being Diamond on Beloved Airlines,’ and I will live briefly without constant fear. Because I will BE LOVED.”

“Dada,” my son might say. “I still do not understand. Why are you making a Pac-Man reference? I am only ten years old. Even if I understood your metaphor, you don’t level up by eating a power dot, but by clearing the screen. And wouldn’t a Diamond Medallion be more like a bonus prize, a bouncing bunch of cherries?”

“Son,” I would say, “life is messy. Sometimes you just have to use a metaphor that makes its point, even if it’s not perfect. Just like sometimes we have to do things that hurt other people. We know it is wrong and we are doing it anyway. And when that happens, we will mix any metaphor we have to justify our actions and get out the door. You’ll understand when you’re disappointing  your own children someday.” (pp. 197-98)

***

And that is when your cat takes his revenge. That is when he turns to you and says, I’m still here. He reminds you of the day you found him, when you were twenty-six, living in a studio apartment, just three doors down from the cool independent video store, and every night you could just stay up late and watch movies and answer to no one, a grown-up alone in the world. He reminds you that everything after that moment was optional. You could have remained the same selfish creep you were trying so hard to un-become, just getting money and having sex, or, if you were me, getting drunk in bars and arguing about operating systems. You didn’t have to get a cat. You didn’t have to have children. You didn’t have to devote every minute, the life energy of your every cell, to worry, to the harried art of keeping something else alive. You didn’t have to learn what it is like when you fail at that task. 

The cat doesn’t really say this. Cats can’t talk. But for a rickety, declining year, he sends you the message: We are both old. See how I cannot walk correctly or bathe myself? That’s going to be you someday. Go ahead. Tell your kids about how we all decay and die. I will wait over here in the bathtub in a pool of my own urine.

And then you are in a mournful room in the basement of a veterinarian’s office, and you are about to pay someone to poison your pet. And the vet says, “You don’t have to make this decision now. We could wait a few days and see if he improves.”

And you are forced to say, “No. I have to get back to my family. This is the most convenient time for me to have him poisoned.” And you know you are a monster after all, a sick animal that no one has the decency to put down.

That was how I felt at the time Petey died. But as I write this now, my children are even older than they were then, and further from my reach. Soon they will be gone altogether from my daily life. Petey’s revenge was not to remind me that all his pain was optional. Because it becomes self-evident to any parent that the pain of loving and caring for another thing is better than the ease of not. I will admit even fur parents know this secret. Parenthood begins as an expression of narcissism, of personal genetic redoubling; but that selfishness is quickly burned away in the crucible of tears, vomit, fevers, and close calls; and it is repaid only in the incalculable joy of seeing someone else thrive in happiness and apart from you. You disappear, and it is a fucking relief. 

Petey’s revenge was to remind me that the creatures we raise and grown with, and disappear into, also grow and go away. And I was grateful to him. We need assholes in our lives to tell us the hard, true things we don’t want to hear. That’s why children become teenagers. (pp. 210-11)

#john hodgman #book quotes

[thesinglesjukebox]

ZAYN & TAYLOR SWIFT - I DON'T WANNA LIVE FOREVER (FIFTY SHADES DARKER) [3.84] We shift from our BBC Sound Of 2017 coverage to the pop charts, but we're not any nicer...

Lauren Gilbert: This is Bad. For all that "Love Me Like You Do" felt like Lights Redux, it was a perfectly solid song outside of context. This features Zayn wailing (someone needs to tell him falsetto isn't always a good idea) and Taylor utterly failing to save the track. It feels like someone told her to write something cinematic, and you can indeed picture the scenes from Fifty Shades Darker that this will soundtrack: Dakota Johnson looking sad in an art gallery, Dakota Johnson looking sad in a cab, flash of Jamie Dornan looking Imposing and Sexy, Dakota Johnson looking sad in a different art gallery. Movie soundtrack singles aren't required to be this dreadful. [2]

Katie Gill: Confession: I adore the Fifty Shades of Gray soundtrack. It's the only place where awful Beyoncé remixes can sit side-by-side with various Top 40 artists trying to be "sexy" but in a watered-down, approved for Clear Channel radio type way. And speaking of Clear Channel-approved sexiness, there's this song! It's kind of awful! Zayn is desperately trying to do his best Prince with that falsetto and Taylor Swift is straight up phoning it in. It's a half-assed mess and I LOVE IT. Every time the chorus starts up with "I DON'T WANNA LIVE... FOREVER," I break out into giggles. Which granted, isn't the intended effect of the song, but don't make your song sound so silly and I won't laugh at it. [3]

Maxwell Cavaseno: There's a way to take narcissistic angst and self-torment and make it work. Last year Kehlani turned the grotesquerie of the IG Meme Disease of Harley Quinn and Joker's Bonnie & Clyde archetype into a perfectly tragi-dumb song like "Gangster" for Suicide Squad. The year before that Beyoncé made "Crazy in Love" go all overwrought and comically grave for Fifty Shades of Grey's soundtrack, and the Weeknd finally got to take his supplanting of a personality with kinks to the top 40 for that same project. This formula is not foreign in pop of the 21st century -- that indulged feeling of inner darkness and putting on that King/Queen of Pain crown is pretty common. Heck, Swift even knows how to mock it. So who do I blame for taking such an obvious task and somehow screwing it up into an over-eager romp mistaking "darkness" for some sort of just plain ol' romantic tension? Is it Antonoff, who thought he was trying to make sadomasochism "fun" (ha, double entendre)? Or is it Malik, who we've spent a good amount of time trying to draw fake depth from like water from rocks? It's a simple enough scheme, and there's a whole sea of edgelords who'd gobble it up with appreciation. Why couldn't anyone realize that here? [2]

Crystal Leww: I'm one of the handful of people who thought that Zayn's debut album wasn't a total trainwreck -- while the album was 80 per cent filler, it also had its moments. Taylor Swift, despite her general media personality, is a phenomenal songwriter and a pretty good pop star. She's proven that she can effectively pen songs for other people to make their own. So why does "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" sound like the worst parts of Zayn have dragged Taylor Swift into the hole of boring anonymity. This is so slow, so long, and so unsexy. The lone bright spot is "I been looking sad in all the nicest places," which like, fine, we get it, you're Taylor Swift, but at least it's declaring who they are as artists. [4]

Claire Biddles: Like "Pillowtalk," this is trying so hard to be sexy, but it's so unconvincing, and like "Pillowtalk" it's because of the deeply unsexy performances. Both Zayn and Taylor come across as pretty asexual to begin with, but the constant forced falsetto makes for a really unpleasant listen. I guess at least if you went back to someone's flat and they put this on you'd know to make your excuses and leave before the boring sex began. [2]

Olivia Rafferty: Because when I'm commissioning a big, sexy number for my big, sexy film, I obviously think of Taylor Swift and Zayn. The lyrics barely grasp at anything that resembles a sentiment, and the "oh-oh oh oh" refrain is an ironically vapid space-filler. The biggest crime is that at some points the song actually has a little charm: that breathless, "baby, baby/I feel crazy," or Taylor Swift's verse. And then for some reason it was decided that Zayn must screech falsetto on the chorus, and TaySwift must sing the most criminally Swiftian lyric I've ever heard: "I've been looking sad in all the nicest places." A half-hearted attempt to follow the anthemic "Love Me Like You Do" and a half-decent soundtrack the first time 50 Shades rolled around. [4]

Megan Harrington: Overwhelmingly, duets between men and women are in service to a romantic narrative. And on the surface, "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is no different, a supposedly lusty song tacked onto a supposedly lusty movie. But are there two performers any less sexual than Zayn and Taylor Swift? The two share a vocal chemistry similar to the rush neurotics feel when they stumble on a perfectly organized shelf of books -- and that's their only chemistry. The song, then, must be about something else, something other than desire and lost love. The refrain "I just wanna keep calling your name/until you come back home" suggests that we might have our first duet in service of finding a lost puppy? [7]

Ramzi Awn: The right kind of anthemic also happens to be the kind that makes Taylor Swift sound good. [9]

Alfred Soto: Although Taylor Swift's name is in the songwriting credits, this soundtrack theme has the fingerprints of men who would destroy the world with a blank falsetto if only she'd stop the nonsense and Come Back Home. The Weeknd. Drake. Everywhere I look, this po-faced pair: immobile with anger, confusing churlishness with pheromones. [4]

Jonathan Bradley: The Fifty Shades franchise offers pop royalty the chance to roleplay their unconventional fantasies, mixing sex and power, darkness and destruction. So goes the theory, anyway: the results (The Weeknd's "Earned It," for instance) have tended towards pouting and murk with neither titillation nor intrigue to compensate. Zayn has yet to evince the ability to project himself beyond the blank slate of his good looks -- his falsetto "baby, baby/I feel crazy" on "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" has none of the desire or desperation that even a novice R&B singer could unearth from those words and their attendant post-Timbaland, click-clack rhythm. Taylor Swift is a smarter vocalist; even if she's had little experience with R&B cadences, she still knows how to suggest a lyric like "I've been looking sad in all the nicest places" conceals fathoms of feeling beneath its surface. But Swift the writer doesn't play nice with the other kids; her perfectionism and her steely-eyed creativity doesn't well accommodate an equal partner, to the extent that her most triumphant 2016 work was "Better Man," where she was the most powerful voice on a song in which she did not appear. Swift might well have within her a tantalizing reflection on sex and mortality, but a shared promo single for sequel Hollywood erotica, released in her gap year, is not where we'll hear it. [5]

Andy Hutchins: One of the greatest stratagems of Taylor Swift's genius-level career was befriending Lena Dunham. Despite Lena Dunham being Lena Dunham, that brought Swift into pop maestro Jack Antonoff's orbit at almost the precise moment when she was transitioning from pop-country to pop-pop, and when he was just done being trained in frequent Kanye collaborator Jeff Bhasker's style on fun.'s Some Nights. (I mean, it's either that, or living with a woman who is now dating the First Daughter's strenuously Democratic brother-in-law, or being born to millionaire parents. It's hard to weigh artistic and social positioning and inherited privilege with Tay!) Since Red -- which Bhasker worked on, naturally -- Swift has worked in Antonoff's milieu, even if her biggest singles have been Max Martin specials: Shadowed gloss-pop, with just enough darkness contrasting her natural brightness to make her "edgy" and "fun" without also being sloppy. ("I been lookin' sad in all the nicest places" says plenty about Swift's conflation of status and composure with happiness.) "Forever," -- "Come Back Home" in a less fatalistic world -- showcases how well she fits there, her breathy anonymity as a singer well-shrouded by the misty production and Zayn, whose far stronger falsetto is the star of the song itself. But he's been here in the twilight, and Swift is only still immersing. [7]

Anthony Easton: I love how his voice slides up when he sings "baby" -- like Michael just a little bit -- and I love how that is the only attempt at overshadowing her. In fact, a sample of both of them singing "baby, baby" to each other is a fascinating competing example of pop history as pop performance. The rest of it is disappointingly anonymous. [6]

Mo Kim: "Gimme something," yelps Zayn in the first verse of this track, a pre-mortem for a slog that (save a few nice twinkles in the production) gives us nothing. [1]

Katherine St Asaph: Every generation gets the "Once in a Lifetime" it deserves, and fails to get the "Who Wants to Live Forever" they so achingly want. [3]

A.J. Cohn: Likely, this is meant to sound dark, achingly romantic, and sensual -- notably not typical descriptions of Swift's music. Unsurprisingly, her vocals are thin and uncomfortably breathy. Her chemistry with Malik is similarly unconvincing and not for his lack of effort. Using his exquisite falsetto to full effect, he seems to be trying his sexy best to make a slow jam out of a sub-1989 bonus track. [4]

Will Adams: Ah, it's easy when everyone contributes equally to the disaster. Jack Antonoff's production is like a 1989 demo, with unfinished ideas (that false climax before the last chorus, like Zayn came too early, is the worst) and a sluggish arrangement. Zayn's yelped falsetto hasn't gotten any better, and Taylor Swift's attempt to display versatility is just as laughable. As a Fifty Shades song it's perfect, in that it's trying so hard, but "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" is so sexless, detached and inept that I can only imagine that Zayn and Taylor recorded their respective vocals with a mirror in the studio. [1]

Joshua Copperman: There's a specific kind of electro-pop song that goes for maximalism, where, to paraphrase Rick McCallum, every second has so many things going on. Jack Antonoff and Swift's last single together, "Out of the Woods," is one of those beautifully overwhelming songs. They reunite here, but for an R&B slow jam that plays to none of their strengths and seems to go out of its way to be "darker," and not joyfully bombastic, which both singles from the previous movie were. Every time it sounds like it's going to explode, it pulls back, like they want to try this whole minimalist thing out, but don't know how to pull it off. The deliberate, yet misguided, attempt at minimalism would also explain the decision to not autotune Zayn's falsetto. (Zayn and Taylor sound nearly identical anyway; if I'd heard that this was actually sung by the Ten Second Songs guy, I wouldn't be entirely surprised.) The defining moment of this whole trying-too-hard-to-sound-effortless thing is the anti-climax at 2:58, inexplicable and inexcusable -- everyone involved is capable of great pop music, but that moment was where I stopped trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. As long as Taylor doesn't go down this route for her next album, this experiment can be forgiven, but experiments should not sound this formulaic. [4]

Thomas Inskeep: My partner, upon first hearing this, suggested that he could barely hear the difference between Zayn and Swift, particularly on the chorus, and he's not wrong. Neither of them should be centering their singing on their falsettos, both of which are incredibly unappealing, and additionally it sounds as if Swift stripped all of the personality from her voice before entering the studio. This song is all bombast, if the bombast were made from tissue paper. And since Jack Antonoff is involved, it of course has the predictable "boom-boom-boom-boom" drum track he's been recycling since fun.'s "We Are Young." Nothing, absolutely nothing about this is any good; fittingly, since it's soundtracking a new Fifty Shades movie, this is the musical equivalent of an empty-calories Hollywood blockbuster. [0]

Nellie Gayle: Did you ever see that one painfully awkward interview between 50 Shades costars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson? Never have I seen two people less likely to generate brutal lust and desire in a believable way. That is, until I heard Zayn and Taylor were collaborating on a song for the same franchise. While Zayn's favorite habit is snaking his way around R&B tunes in an overreaching falsetto, Taylor prefers to lend her reedy vocals in the spectrum of pop-country to Top 40 bops. One thing both Zayn and Taylor accomplish very well in their respected fields is relatable anguish. Taylor's vocal thinness translates into despair, while Zayn's insistence on turning every lyric into a gymnastics exercise for his vocal chords. The production involved is really what transforms this song, and it's clear that this is a surface-level reflection on a franchise neither star has any interest in or connection to. The 50 Shades empire is about presenting dangerous ideals to bored and titillated white women around the world, and this song manages to tease any sweetness or tenderness out of that narrative and turn it into a sultry, almost danceable banger. It's Taylor's riskiest bet yet -- if you listen hard, you can hear the wails of Republican mothers around the country in the chorus as they wait for their daughters to be corrupted by this song -- but it still remains a tame anthem to romantic melancholy more than anything. [5]

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#Zayn #Taylor Swift #I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)