#broken bonds

[nottyourlover]

Broken Bonds - ch 1.

a/n: hopefully a series :)))) stay with me for the start here okay guys good things come to those who wait 🤡

summary: as azriel leaves for a long mission in vallahan, you find that clinging onto old bonds does nothing to heal them.

warnings: reader's pregnant, falling out of love, angst. dark mental health themes.

word count: 1594.

pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // epilogue?

***

The Night Court was abuzz with activity, as preparations for Azriel's departure on a long mission to Vallahan were underway. The news had come suddenly, leaving everyone scrambling to get everything in order. Azriel was to leave in two days' time, and the thought of being apart from him for so long was almost too much to bear. You had begged and pleaded with Rhys to not let Azriel go, delay the mission, shorten the mission, anything. Obviously, he did not budge on the decision, but you could imagine the strain on a High Lord that war would bring, especially since he also had Nyx now. Ultimately, you did know the importance of his mission. Mor had returned to Velaris as the Night Court Emissary to Vallahan, but she needed backup and Azriel's skillset along with his ability to fly was perfect. He had left for many dangerous missions in the past, but when you had asked Rhys about the duration of this one, you were shocked to hear him say "A year? Maybe two".

Your child would be born before your mate returned.

>>>

You and Azriel had been drifting apart for a while, the once intense passion between you now replaced by a strained silence. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when things had started to change, but you both knew that something was different. Maybe it was your last wedding anniversary, when you had fought over not seeing each other for months due to clashing hours, but that was years ago. A century was a long time to spend in a romantic relationship with just one person, let alone almost two centuries.

You had learned that you were 3 weeks pregnant, a fact that you had been keeping hidden from Azriel for fear of driving him even further away. When Madja had come to heal one of Cassian's injuries that had knocked him unconscious, she had asked to have a word with you afterwards.

"You're with child, y/n," Madja said, smiling as she pulled you into a private room.

"I'm pregnant?" you were in complete disbelief. You and Az had barely even seen each other lately because you were either asleep when he got home, or the other way around. Your immediate thought was to run to Azriel, hug him, kiss him, congratulate him. He was going to be a father. You were going to be parents!

Then you remembered. You two were barely speaking now. A few days ago, there was a disagreement over a dinner date that Azriel was almost two hours late to, and when he finally came, he seemed distracted and uninterested. You had only just started your entrées when Rhys burst into the restaurant with some urgent news, drawing Azriel away and leaving you to eat alone.

"Yes, y/n. Oh, I'm ecstatic for you!" Madja wrapped her delicate arms around your shoulders, but you were frozen. There was nothing worse than not being able to talk to the one you longed for the most.

After your experience with Madja, the only person who really noticed was Feyre, who had asked you what the matter was immediately, and yet again when you refused your favourite tarts. After you told her everything, she had immediately asked Helion to travel to Velaris and help mask your new scent so no one would find out about your pregnancy until you told them. The thought of bringing a child into a war-torn world with parents whose relationship was already on such shaky ground made you feel sick with worry.

However, despite the tension between you, Azriel was still the only person you wanted to be with. You were mates after all, and husband and wife too. You couldn't imagine a life without him, even if it seemed like that was where you were headed. Growing up in the Illyrian camps, books were scarce, but stories traveled by word of mouth. You had heard about the beauty of mating bonds, the love, the desire these couples had, but also the sorrow that sometimes broke the same bonds, the disasters, the catastrophes. They said losing your mate was like losing yourself.

So as you watched him pack his bags, you couldn't help but feel a sense of despair wash over you. The future felt uncertain, and you didn't know how things would turn out. Would you end up like one of the females in the legends you heard as a young girl, so broken by the loss of their mate that they died young and unhappy and unfulfilled?

Flashbacks of better times flooded your mind as you watched Azriel move about the room. The way his eyes would light up when he saw you, the way he would wrap his arms around you and hold you close. It all seemed so distant now. Your afternoons reading by the fire, training together, heavy breathing but content as you walked up the House of Wind's stairs together, just talking and laughing. You remembered the moments where your relationship was new, so fragile you hadn't dared to tell anyone, the two of you sneaking off for just a moment of alone time.

You remembered the day you were mated, oh, how happy and in love you both were. The world had seemed so full of possibility then, and you had both believed that your happiness would last forever. Azriel's whispered promises still echoed against your skin, the memory of where he first murmured them, when your bodies were entwined, and your hearts were beating in sync, was still strong. Back then, the mating bond between you was like a beacon, guiding you to a happier future. You both deserved a better future... Now though? It was dull.

Things had changed. Azriel was leaving for a mission that could potentially be dangerous, last for years, and you were one month pregnant with a child that you didn't know if you could raise on your own.

On the morning of his departure, you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. You fell into Azriel's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. He instinctively wrapped himself around you, shielding the both of you with his wings.

"I don't want you to go," you whispered through your tears. You could hear his heart beating through his armor, comforting and steady, so familiar.

"I know, y/n. I'm sorry," he kissed your forehead and your skin tingled. "I have to though," Azriel replied softly, regretfully, his arms tightening around you. "I don't want to leave either."

You murmured inaudibly, sniffing.

"This mission is important," he continued, hands circling your back soothingly. "We need the Queen of Vallahan to sign the peace treaty as soon as possible."

"But what about us?" you asked suddenly, looking up at him. Were you selfish? Your world on the brink of war and you were worried about your love life?

"What of our relationship?"

Azriel's expression was pained as he looked down at you. "I don't know," he said honestly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Things have been difficult between us, and I don't know how to fix them."

You wanted to tell him about the baby, to beg him to stay with you and start a family.

"As many little ones as you want, love," Azriel had once replied, smiling at you lovingly. You were sitting on the kitchen counter happily, his oversized shirt falling off your shoulders. He had kissed your left shoulder, exactly on your scar, your skin tingling. He pulled the shirt back up but this had only led to the other side falling down more, causing him to smirk a little as he adjusted it, lest you accidentally show more skin than intended if someone made the unfortunate decision to walk into the kitchen that morning.

"But my dear mate, I want what you want," you had replied, smiling, reaching for his hands to kiss their scars.

As you opened your mouth, the words wouldn't come because you knew deep down that it wouldn't change anything. You were a little selfish, but not ignorant nor sabotaging. Prythian would need all the allies it could get, and you were hopeful that with Azriel's persuasion, Vallahan's queen would finally sign.

You slowly pulled away from Azriel, wiping your tears. His eyes softened to an expression almost recognisable. An expression that almost reminded you of your past. Almost.

"I love you, y/n," Azriel said after a while. You smiled sadly, reaching for his hands to kiss their scars like you used to do.

"I love you too, Azriel," you replied, the dull bond in your mind slowly reigniting. Azriel gave you a kiss, longer than all the ones you had shared in the many months of your previous rough patches, and for those few wonderful seconds you felt the spark again, almost like new. He rested his forehead against yours, whispering, "I'll be safe, I promise". The two of you stayed like that for a while before you heard Rhys calling him and the noisy flap of wings from just outside your balcony window.

With one last glance at you, Azriel turned his back with his belongings, pausing at the window when,

"Don't forget me," you called, half-smiling.

"I couldn't if I tried," Azriel replied, before soaring into the sky.

You heard his powerful wings thumping as he soared from the balcony, away from his mate and away from his future child.

As you placed your hand on your stomach, you thought to yourself that maybe things would work out, maybe there was still a chance for you and Azriel to be happy together.

It seemed that only time would tell.

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel angst #azriel fluff #azriel smut #angst #fluff #smut #acotar #azriel #broken bonds #bb

[starogeorgina]

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬

Paring: Harwin Strong × reader

Warnings: None

3.05

Sniffling, you pull a fur blanket further around your shoulders to keep warm as you slump further into the massive four-poster bed that dominates the room, it's dark wood carved into dragons, which matched the elaborate designs that declared the room. The walls are adorned with intricate tapestries depicting scenes from Targaryen history, with hints of different magical creatures woven into the design.

“No.”

“Vaella…”

“I forbid it,” you protest, your hand barely wrapping around Harwin’s wrist when you hold onto him. “You cannot leave me, our children, and go to Harrenhal.”

He lowers his head. “You would forbid me from escorting my father home?”

“If I must,” you whisper. “I would have you locked away in a tower if I thought it would keep you safe.”

“You have seen my father; he’s not a well-mannered man, and if the rumors about my brother are true, then he’s not safe in the keep. He needs to go home and be tended to by the maesters there.”

It might have been a nightmare all those years ago instead of a dragon dream, but you weren’t willing to risk your husband's life by finding out. “I saw you die in a vision! I saw Harrenhal burn to the ground with you inside it. I am begging you, Harwin, to not make the horror of losing you a reality for me. I wouldn’t be able to bear it, nor would our children.”

His eyes are glassy with unshed tears. “And what of my father?”

“The maester on Dragonstone can attend to him. You’ve seen firsthand how skilled Maester Gerardys is. I trust him not only to take care of us but also of our children, my sister, and the king. I promise he will do the best he can for your father.” Seeing his hands tremble, you hold onto them. “Please, just bring your father to Dragonstone; if he wishes to be with his wife, then invite your stepmother and sisters as well.”

“It’s not my decision to make.” He says it more firmly. “My father says he wants to go home, and I won’t stand in his way.”

Your eyes sting as fresh tears fall from them. Harwin would never leave his family unless he deemed it absolutely necessary, but it didn’t ease the pain of him going. You never thought you'd have to say goodbye to the one person who felt like home to you.

“Mama?”

Being so lost in your thoughts, you never heard Vaegon entering the room. When he climbs into the bed beside you, you brush his thick hair, which was growing rather long, out of his eyes. “Why aren’t you sleeping, my sweet?”

He says nothing.

Sensing his uncertainty, you put your arm around him, kissing the top of his head. Out of all your children, Vaegon was the least likely to come up with a problem when he usually admits to dealing with things himself. “Whatever is wrong, you can tell me.”

“Promise you won’t get mad.”

“I promise,” you smile sadly at him, “but I need to know what is keeping my son up at night.”

Nervously, he says, “It’s this place.”

“Kings landing?”

“The people here aren’t as nice. I see the way the lords and ladies look at me and my brother. The queen and her children make fun of us for not looking like Targaryen or Lannister.” He bends his legs and rests his head against his knees, looking up at you. “Is Harwin Strong my real father?”

“You are so loved; always remember that.” You kiss his forehead again as tears swell in your eyes again. “Thomas Lannister being your father keeps you and Aerion safe. Do you understand?”

He nods.

It was clear that although Vaegon had inherited your temper and stubbornness, he had his father's kind-hearted nature and understanding. “Can you tell me how you and my father got together?”

It was almost frightening how smart and observant your son was for still being so young. “I will one day, my sweet, I promise, but not tonight. We need to rest before returning home tomorrow.”

—

Soon as it was an appropriate time, you visited your father to say goodbye with the promise of returning to visit him soon on dragon back along with Rhaenyra. When you leave his chambers, you intend to go straight to the gods wood, where your sister is waiting with the children and Ser Laenor to join them; however, you are stopped in the hallway before you make it outside.

“I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but you are a positively glowing princess. Being with a child agrees with you.”

Goosebumps spread across your body at the compliment. Unbidden tears had been coming to your eyes since Harwin left, but you forced yourself to be polite and smile at the clubfoot.

A creepy grin spreads across Lary's face as he leans against his cane, with an intense look on his face. “I assume my niece hasn’t accompanied you to visit her grandsire this morning.”

“You would be correct, Lord Larys; the princess was breaking fast when I left.”

“That’s a pity. I overheard Elinda Massey, your sister’s lady-in-waiting, saying farewell to some of the handmaids. I can only assume you are leaving for Dragonstone today, and the princess is accompanying you.”

You didn’t want to give him any further information as needed, plus being alone with him was bringing on a wave of nausea. “Yes, I asked Princess Rhaenyra to come and stay, at least until my baby is born.”

“That seems like a wise decision. I have heard pregnancy can be a woman’s loneliest time.”

Continuing to fake a smile, you say, “I better be going, my Lord; I don’t want to keep the children waiting. I shall see you upon my return.”

As you walk by him, Larys smugly asks, “I heard my father and brother left to return to my family home last night; is that true?”

“Yes, they left during the night since your father was feeling unwell.”

“Oh, I suspect they didn’t want to bother me during the night by saying goodbye; not to worry. Since they should be arriving by nightfall tonight, I shall expect to receive a raven from them tomorrow.”

—

The walk to the entrance of the castle was mainly in silence, aside from Luke expressing how excited he was that the island would be his new home. You had grown fond of the salty air of Dragonstone, which smells of smoke and brimstone, and usually enjoyed the long walk across the bridge, but it always made you nervous to see children on it.

Aerion holds your hand with a glum expression. Ada walks in front of you with Vaegon and Jace on either side of her, holding their hands. Luke walks with his father while Rhaenyra is carrying her babe.

Sensing your distance, your sister slows her pace. “Did you find our brother before we left?”

“No, I’m ashamed to admit I got rather distracted, but I intend to send him a raven as soon as the children are settled. I want Aegon to know he is always welcome.”

“Perhaps he comes out, sweet sister, and other brothers will be more inclined to as well.”

Looking over his shoulder, Vaegon frowns at you. He couldn’t comprehend why you wanted to have a relationship with your siblings after witnessing how badly Alicent, Otto, and Criston treated one side of your family, but you had faith that the bad blood wouldn’t extend to the younger generation of House Targaryen.

—

You walk beneath the heavy red doors entering the great hall, which are set in the mouth, and are shocked to see fresh food and drink already being placed on the high table on the raised platform.

“Father!”

Ada lets go of her brother and cousin's grip and runs towards Harwin, whom you had failed to notice standing on the opposite side of the room. He lifts Ada up with ease and kisses her cheek. “Have you been good for your mother?”

“My love,” you whisper, your heart racing as you cross the room to him.

Ada nods. “Yes, and I held Joffrey on the boat.”

“Did you now?” He smiles wildly before placing her back on the ground. “Now, go with your brothers to wash up before we eat.”

When your daughter skips off happily, Harwin wraps his arms around you, holding you as close as your bump would allow. His eyes look heavier than normal, and his skin looks like porcelain. He licks at his dry lips. “We got as far as a tavern in Rosby when I finally convinced my father to come to Dragonstone.”

“Where is Ser Lyonel?”

“He was resting, but I suspect he will be down shortly. We had planned for the meal to be ready by the time you arrived.”

“No,” he says quietly. “But the thought of you being upset is worse than him being mad. I wanted to go back to the keep first, but my father was vomiting a lot and didn’t want to extend the journey further than needed.”

You squeeze his arm and say, “I’m just glad we are all home and safe.”

—

Soon as the sun rose the following day, you spoke with Maester Gerardys privately. Both Harwin and Rhaenyra were stressed from events that had taken place the last few days, and you didn’t want to worry them that you had been feeling rather poorly since the start of this pregnancy. The constant nausea, vomiting, and indigestion were one thing, but the intense back pain was becoming concerning.

However, after speaking with the maester, you walk back to your bed chamber filled with relief. Maester Gerardys had no concerns regarding your baby and even suggested you might be carrying twins again.

“Good morning, princess.”

“Good morning, Ser Qarl.” You smile as the knight bows his head before continuing along the hallways.

Ser Qarl Correy had fought during the battle of the Stepstones, and your cousin Laenor is your current lover. Rhaenyra had insisted that Laenor take him to Dragonstone as well, so that her husband wouldn’t be so lonely.

You enter your chambers, being careful not to make too much noise in case Harwin was still asleep, but you notice his back as you near the sitting area. You remove your overcoat and excitedly approach him. “My love, I’ve... oh, forgive me, Lord Lyonel. I didn’t realize you would be joining us this morning.”

Seeing the mortification on your face, your lady brings you a thicker robe, which covers you more appropriately since you only had a nightgown. You were surprised to see his father so early in the morning, especially since Harwin would usually bring your daughter and sons to break fast as soon as he woke.

“Thank you,” you say quietly. “Are the children awake?”

“No princess; Ser Harwin has asked me to let princes and princesses sleep in,” she whispers.

You offer her a small smile before returning to your husband and father-in-law. Now that you weren’t so startled, you could see how distressed they both looked. Lord Lyonel was sitting with his head in his hands, and Harwin seemed utterly lost as he stared ahead with bloodshot eyes.

“Harwin, what’s going on?”

Harwin clears his throat, but his voice is still shaky as he speaks. “A raven arrived from Harrenhal this morning; there was a fire last night. My sisters and stepmother are dead.”

#house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #ser harwin strong fanfiction #ser harwin strong x you #ser harwin strong fanfic #harwin strong x you #harwin strong fanfic #broken bonds #broken bonds 3.05 #ser harwin strong x reader #harwin strong x reader #house of the dragon fanfic #house of the dragon x reader

[elriell]

“If you insist on keeping me alive and here, then I’ll play my part, but she’s not mine. She never will be.”

It should come as no surprise to see Oli & Nox + Brutus on my page given how much I love them and the series so much! I couldn’t recommend it more, these two tugged on every heart strings 🥹 Would love to do a series of these with the other bonds🤔

Thank you so so much @gessueter for creating such a perfect rendition, I adore them 💙

These sensational charaters are from The Bonds That Tie by @jbreeauthor 💙

#Oleander Fallows #Oli Fallows #Nox Draven #Brutus #Oli x Nox #the bonds that tie #tbtt #broken bonds #savage bonds #MY BABYYYYYS #MINE #commission #jbree #j bree

[sydneymack]

The Draven Bond Group - Broken Bonds

Artist: @bethgilbert_art for @atouchofmagicdesigns

#oleander fallows #oli fallows #atlas bassinger #gryphon shore #gabriel ardern #nox draven #north draven #broken bonds #the bonds that tie #tbtt #j bree #brutus #augustine #august

[yazthebookish]

Too obsessed with this I had to repost it 🖤

The Bonds That Tie art by giannyfili

Characters featured: Oli, Gryphon, Nox, North, Gabe, Atlas.

#the bonds that tie #j bree #broken bonds #book art

[galaxythedragonshifter]

Not me becoming obsessed with Sleuth Jesters, and thinking "what if I write this, but father issues instead of romance" and "oh yeah, 90% of the plot is changed. Only the beginning shows strong inspiration from Sleuth Jesters"

#galaxy rambles #sleuth jesters #naffeclipse #yall are sleeping on the father figure potential smh 😔 #crime but make it being a nuisance to your mafia member father #detective sun #detective moon #fnaf security breach #fnaf #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #detective au #broken bonds

[3m0n3rd]

donne

Please go follow Donnie! He’s one of my fave moots and i enjoy so much talking with them :3 @bugg-boxx

#3m0n3rd tmnt au #tmnt #tmnt fanart #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #donnie tmnt #tmnt donatello #mutant menace au #tmnt 2009 #Broken bonds au #Broken bonds #Art trade? #Coloring #lineart

[nixie-deangel]

😭😭😭😭😭 when you get a banger of an hangster vampire idea but can't do anything with it because you need to spend the day cooking for your grandma's birthday dinner

#so in love with it #hangster #sereshaw #nixie personal #someone please remind about this #so i can go crazy over it when i have the actual time to devote to it #it involves memory wipes #broken bonds

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

Me at the start of book one of The Bonds that Tie series: North Draven is the absolute worst, a stuckup, controlling psychopath

Me by book two: North Draven and his suit wearing and authoritive nature is so hot! And the way he calls Oli, Oleander, when everyone else shortens her name, is so formal and again so hot

#micro managing pompous ass but by god is he hot #north draven #the bonds that tie #tbtt #broken bonds #savage bonds #also when he wears track pants is so hot because he so rarely dresses down #but the suits 🔥

[sleepingdead96]

#Broken Bonds #ao3 fanfic #dpxdc fanfic #SleepingDead

[emiliamildner]

Quick portrait of Oleander Fallows from Broken Bonds by J. Bree. I included her purple hair moment and the black eyes (I don't think they're mentioned in book one but I saw fanart).

Have you read Broken Bonds? What do you think about the book?

‼️ DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

#oleander fallows #broken bonds #the bonds that tie #j bree #digital art #book art #fanart #digital painting #artists on tumblr #clip studio paint

[nottyourlover]

Broken Bonds - ch 2

a/n: prolly 4 ch's now :) sorry this took 800 years i kinda put off writing this bc i didnt want to disappoint but here it is.

ALSO SORRY THERE WILL MOST LIKELY BE ~7 WEEKS OF HIATUS AFTER THIS.

series summary: as azriel leaves for a long mission in vallahan, you find that clinging onto old bonds does nothing to heal them.

contains: angst, still mental health themes, pregnant y/n, off-page death, language. slowburn ???????

word count: 8506 (oh gosh)

ch 1 // ch 3

***

Many weeks passed, and with each day, the void left by Azriel's absence grew wider, but luckily you found yourself surrounded with some of the best people in the world, you thought. As always, Feyre was wonderful; she helped you get out of bed, she re-ignited your passions. She listened to you vent about your relationship, gave you advice and she constantly surprised you, always with a little gift from a new store in The Rainbow. However, one of the best surprises you received didn't come from Feyre.

About two weeks after Azriel's departure you had received a letter from your childhood friend Aiden and his now fiance, Malakai. You couldn't believe it, because it had been centuries since you'd seen Aiden, let alone been contacted by him, but on the other hand you saw Malakai weekly. He was Cassian's right-hand man, and you learnt from him after the wedding that Aiden had become a healer who travelled around Prythian, practicing in all the courts. Their jobs were different in every way, but they complemented each other perfectly.

It was unexpected, the letter, but you couldn't have been happier to hear from them, especially because the envelope held an invitation their wedding.

The wedding was a modest celebration, but all the Inner Court members attended to show their support for the happy couple. Kai had known Cassian, Rhys and Azriel for years, since training together for the Blood Rite, and had stayed in touch for centuries after. He was now Cassian's Lieutenant General who commanded the Night Court's forces where Cassian was otherwise preoccupied with Inner Circle business. You knew him from the occasional training session, and you were glad that the two of you had gotten a lot closer after the wedding. He had become fast friends with the rest of the Inner Circle, and after the wedding Aiden also befriended them. It was almost laughable how you had managed to miss that the male Kai talked so fondly about, the healer that had stolen his heart, was your friend. Your Aiden.

Even if the last few months of your own life were less than ideal, the newly-wed couple had become your rocks, and you knew they would eventually become amazing parents since they were so doting towards you and your baby.

You were still early in your pregnancy but careful nonetheless. Although you still planned to work for as long as you could in an attempt to maintain some sense of normalcy, you quickly realised that it was going to be somewhat of a struggle hiding your pregnancy from the rest of the Inner Circle for any longer. Training was not any easier as no one suspected anything, and Mor and Cass still held their monthly game nights when they drank like there was no tomorrow.

Under Feyre's insistence, you had lessened your field work and so majority of your days consisted of writing letters to the other High Lords and leaders in attempt to strengthen alliances and unite the various factions within Prythian, hoping that it would create a better world for your child to grow up in. Due to past efforts, relations with the Day, Dawn, Summer and Winter courts were strong, and you were certain you had their support. The Spring Court with Tamlin, and Autumn with Beron were other matters, however. Perhaps you would ask Feyre to use her sway with Lucien who could convince Tamlin to at least reply to one of your letters, but you had recently heard Lucian say that he had not visited Spring in a long while, instead opting to stay with the Band of Exiles. Then you thought about High Lord Beron. He was a grumpy, disagreeable High Lord, and also a problem for another day, you had finally decided.

The first week and a half after Azriel's departure, you had rarely gotten out of bed, even when Feyre had tempted you with tarts. You felt bad that Cassian looked so regretful when he couldn't cheer you up when you neglected morning trainings those first few weeks. He thought it was because you were missing Azriel, and you were, but even more so, you were worrying over your pregnancy. When Feyre had finally managed to get you out of the house, the two of you mainly walked up and down The Rainbow, visiting the old bookstores and trying all the new bakeries.

Aiden was staying in Velaris for his honeymoon, but he still insisted on working, the kind male he was. You found happiness in visiting his healing clinic, helping him organise records and patient data. Listening to stories of his travels had inspired you like nothing else could. He told you about the catacombs under the Dawn Court, the unique architecture and history of Day.

His stories made you miss your mate, of the adventures the two of you had planned for the future, but you vowed that one day you'd travel with Azriel again. You tugged on the bond softly, something you had been doing since he left to feel connected. You weren't even sure if he could feel it though, since he never 'replied'.

Over the course of around two and a half months, you started to feel lighter. When you thought of your mate's return you started to feel optimistic. Maybe a break was the right decision, no matter how unplanned it initially was.

***

You had been spending most of your Sundays in Aiden's clinic, him helping with the pregnancy and keeping you company. You were browsing his bookshelves when you stumbled upon a book about Illyrian anatomy. It hadn't fully dawned on you yet that the child you were bringing into this world was likely going to come out with wings, but Aiden assured you the birth was not going to be too difficult seeing that you were half-Illyrian yourself. Your father had been an awful person, but at least he gave you the gift that would allow you to start a family with the one that you loved.

Obviously, a lot of trauma and pain occurred at a health clinic, but there was lots of warmth and beauty too, and it was becoming more apparent to you than ever. The young fae that lived in Velaris would occasionally come knocking to sell their sweets, or on quiet afternoons, Aiden would seek them out and give them some harmless (but hilarious) potions that would do crazy things, like temporarily turn their bodies invisible, colour their hair an electric blue, or even make them grow scales. Aiden was the finest healer in Prythian, and you were disappointed he could not stay for much longer than his honeymoon period before he needed to return to the road.

One such Sunday, the 12th week of your pregnancy had finally arrived. You were looking at your reflection in the full-length mirror, hand on your stomach.

You were showing. This was real.

You admired the swell of your stomach under the light, flowing dress. You looked... healthy. Glowing, even. Your features were not so hollowed out anymore, your cheeks fuller and eyes brighter, filled with shine. You felt better than ever.

But it was heartbreaking that your mate's absence had caused this, in a roundabout way. You closed your eyes, taking in this special moment. You reached to tug on the bond, and you swore you felt a glimmer of warmth before the string in your mind felt cold once more.

Aiden's voice dragged you out of your haze. "Y/n, are you ready to do the scan?" he asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

An "ultrasound" is what Aiden had called it. On his travels to the mortal lands, he had studied in the most advanced medical institutions on offer and was bringing this human technology to Faerie. This ultrasound was supposedly a sort of test they did on mortals with child, to verify the health and gender of the baby, and he was going to perform one on you today with the help of some of his healer magic to help.

"Just lay back on here, your dress should be stretchy enough for you to just lift it up..." Aiden trailed off as he fiddled with a tub of gel and a weird device, he explained he was going to lightly put on your stomach.

"In the Mortal Lands, they have these screens that show the mother the baby, but since I couldn't lug back a large computer, I'll compensate with a simple incantation. Unfortunately, this does mean you won't be able to keep any physical images of your baby."

You frowned slightly. You didn't even know it was on the table, to keep pictures of the little one growing inside you. You sighed a little as you readjusted the pillow and Aiden got to cleaning up. They would've been nice for Azriel to see, you supposed.

"Oh. That's okay, there's nothing you can do about it," is what you settled on saying. It had been centuries since the you had seen Aiden again, and after being somewhat abruptly pushed into each other's lives again... it was awkward, sometimes.

"I trust you," you added, "But exactly how many times has this magic-and-mortal-device combination been used for ultrasounds?"

Aiden flashed you the same boyish grin that got the two of you out of trouble when you were younger and given that your mother was... well, who she was, that was a difficult feat indeed. It was one of the reasons you had stuck with the slightly infuriating male who stood before you today; he would always protect you. Of course, this was until you had lost touch. "Well..." he pretended to do a thinking pose. You hoped he was joking.

You narrowed your eyes at him, but you doubted he could even see you. "Aiden? This is safe, right?"

"Just kidding, y/n. Of course, it is safe for use and has been trialed numerous times."

"Not funny." You muttered to yourself.

Under Aiden's instruction, you lifted up your dress until it was just under your bust. The masses of fabric were somewhat blocking your vision, but even so, you lifted your neck slightly to try see what Aiden was doing.

"It's interesting how mortals compensate for not having magic, this gel is especially interesting," he mused. He had become such an intellect, always curious and ready to learn. You were somewhat shocked to see what he'd made of himself, so different from that class clown you used to know.

You couldn't do more than make what hopefully came out as a sound of interest, as you weren't really able to see what "gel" your friend was even referring to.

"This might feel a bit cold," Aiden said, before he applied a thin layer of a wet, smooth mixture to your stomach. "It'll help this little machine to see your womb."

"Sure," you reply. What else could be said?

"Oh! Wait." You add abruptly. Aiden stopped his movements instantly. "I... don't want to know the gender." You finished, chewing your lip slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yet. I mean, yes. I don't want to know yet. I'll find out when everyone else does, whenever that is."

Aiden sent you a confident smile. "Okay, y/n/n."

After that, he seemed to sense your nervousness, and so after the gel was applied, Aiden placed a comforting hand on yours, which were busy pulling at the seams of your dress. The clothing suddenly felt too thick, and the breezy material no longer cooled your skin, but instead made it itch, and the back of your neck felt hot. He changed the positioning of your bed with a small flick of his wrist, in a swift motion. Slowly, your upper body rose to a sitting position while your legs stayed flat. This way, you could see what was happening.

Then you heard it, and suddenly, there was too much to say.

Unmistakably, there was thumping. Muffled thumping that seemed to echo around the room.

Aiden had big grin on his face. He met your eyes only for a moment before returning to the task literally in front of him. You realised he was concentrating hard on a small floating projection, a clear screen that showed all sorts of charts and figures. In the center of the clear screen there was a black rectangle that had something moving in it. Different shades of greys and white danced across the screen in pixelated motions but they all moved together, as if they were forming something whole.

"Is that...?" you asked softly. You couldn't get the words out, because your heart was in your throat. It was difficult to see, from the weird angle that you observed the screen in, but it couldn't have been anything else.

Just like when you were kids, he read your mind.

"Yes, y/n," he breathed softly. His fingers floated across the keyboard on the bedside table. which you suspected was somehow connected to Aiden's magical projection.

The perfect mix of fae magic and mortal engineering.

At last, Aiden spoke.

"That's the heartbeat."

***

It had been 2 weeks since that first ultrasound, and you were talking with Feyre about breaking the news to the rest of your friends. The two of you were sitting in the courtyard, the late afternoon sun casting its warm, friendly glow. You marveled at the beauty of the gardens a "Oh, I'm so excited for you! Your baby is going to be spoiled like crazy," your friend exclaimed fondly, a big grin on her face.

Hearing Feyre's enthusiasm calmed your nerves immensely, and you reached for your High Lady's hand. "I wish Az was here," you admitted, "if he was, I'd do something bigger. I think I'm just going to tell everyone at dinner."

Feyre's glance softened at the mention of your mate. "That sounds good, but y/n, I hate to mention this now but when are you going to tell Azriel?"

You bit your lip, averting eye contact. "I'm not sure, actually. Whenever's best, I suppose."

"You can be honest with me, y/n/n. I just think you should tell him."

"Of course I'm going to tell him."

"But your baby's going to be born before he gets back, surely you're not going to have him come home blind-" Feyre said insistently.

You started to get a little annoyed. "I will tell him, Feyre. He will not 'come home blind'."

But were you sure? Would Azriel even reply to your letters? Would he care enough to write more than his usual 5 sentences? A pain ran through your heart as you recalled the last time you wrote was about a month ago. He hadn't replied. You didn't want him to be distracted on the mission, or worse, hurt himself because he was worrying.

Feyre could read your expression. "Are you really thinking about lying to your mate? About your child. His child, y/n. It's Azriel's too."

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. "Gods, Feyre. You think I don't know that? Stop pushing this, it's my decision and if I want to leave it until he comes back... then that's on me." But deep down you knew she was right.

Your words just hung between you as the conversation ended. You didn't believe what you just said, and by the silence that fell, you could tell Feyre didn't either.

The two of you sat in your respective chairs and avoided eye contact, Feyre was fiddling with the sash on her dress, and you were looking into the sky, eyes squinting as you immediately regretted staring straight into the sun.

"Feyre, darling?" called Rhys' smooth voice. You glanced at your wristwatch, which indicated Feyre and Rhys' meeting was about to start. You sighed a little; you would have to apologise later.

"Here, Rhys!" Feyre quickly gathered her things but put a comforting hand on your shoulder as she passed. "Bye, y/n."

Then Rhys whisked Feyre away, leaving you alone in the courtyard.

You didn't want to keep sitting in the courtyard rethinking your conversation with Feyre. Or perhaps was it an argument? You quickly left the gardens as soon as the sun started setting, in hopes you would bump into another one of your friends. You walked towards the door to the main house and luckily, the moment you turned around after closing the door, there was Kai, gathering some items in a satchel, looking like he was about to leave.

You wondered if you should bother him as he looked busy, but before you could sneak off, it seemed that Kai used his big-brother senses because he turned around and spotted you.

"Y/n! My favourite person." He beamed, tucking strands of his golden hair behind his ears.

"I think Aiden might take some offense to that statement." You approached him smiling, yet slightly embarrassed he had almost caught you jumping over a couch.

"I'm sure he agrees with my sentiment." Your friend smiled.

"Going somewhere?"

"Just off to the Night Markets to buy a sheath for Aiden's present. It's a dagger, from my last mission overseas," He cocked his head slightly, as if trying to see if you were okay. "Would you like to join me?" Kai broke into a beaming smile. "We can get ice-cream."

You couldn't help grin as his words lit you up. The two of you used to always get ice-cream together, it was your thing. The ice-cream stores in Velaris changed their flavours daily, always a mix of aromatic spices and exotic fruits that somehow blended perfectly together. It was well-known amongst all your friends that Night Court ice-cream was one of your favourite things, and almost every birthday you got a tub of your favourite flavour, whatever it was. It reminded you of happier days, and some of your favourite memories consisted of you, laughing along with Kai over large cones of the sweet, icy treat.

"Really? I'd love to!" This is exactly what you needed to help you take your mind off your disagreement with Feyre. "I hope I'm not intruding though."

"You could never intrude. Besides, I could use another set of eyes. You've seen my wardrobe; I don't exactly choose the most stylish things." He bumped your shoulder affectionately.

You snickered. "That I have. Then you're lucky I took pity on you and offered my services to you."

Ever the drama queen, Kai lowered himself into a deep bow, "I thank you then, y/n."

Being with Kai had lifted your mood almost instantly. You had confided in him through your highs and lows, and when you had shown such intimate parts of yourself to another, it was easy to settle into comfortable companionship. He was like an older brother to you, one of your closest friends.

You watched Velaris' bustling marketplaces in awe as Kai soared through the air, his wings flapping. It had been a while since you had come out to see the signature Night Markets, but it was just as breathtaking as you remembered. There were crowds everywhere, and each store had twinkling lights. It was dark now, the light from each stall was illuminating the air around it, the mountains were shining a soft white from the snow, and you felt like you had returned home to the familiar sights, sounds and smells.

Kai led you to a few shops, and gods, it was lucky you were there. Somehow, he managed to pick out some of the strangest, weirdest designs that there were. It took almost 20 minutes of convincing before Kai discarded a sheath that was covered in ridiculous dyed fur that also had googly eyes stuck to the front, with eyebrows that jiggled when you removed the dagger.

"It's like an adorable fluffy animal!" He exclaimed.

"Kai, no. It looks like a mutilated toy rodent. I think I see bugs moving in the fur, and it smells like Cassian after training."

Kai whistled. "Harsh critic."

You shrugged, looping your arm through his to drag him back through the door. "I just saved your marriage, my friend."

Eventually you two of you picked a simple design. A sleek black design with silver buckles that was functional enough to store a pen or two, as well. Perfect for Aiden. Knowing him, he probably would use the sheath to store some of his equipment for operations, and the like.

"Thanks for helping me tonight," Kai smiled. "I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. All you ever need to owe me is some ice-cream." You almost jumped when you saw the old gelateria where the two of you frequented decades ago. Had it really been decades?

Kai seemed to be thinking the same thing because the moment the two of you sat down, he smiled, wistfully asking, "Do you remember the last time we came here?"

You hummed in thought, trying to come up with an answer. "I don't think I do. Must've been to celebrate something?"

Kai grinned. "No, not to celebrate. I remember," he started.

"Shocking how someone so old has a better memory than me." you smirked.

"Hush, y/n/n. Surely you remember, as it concerns your favourite person."

"My favourite person? So, not you then," you laughed.

"I'm wounded." Kai replied, deadpan. "No, anyway. I mean Azriel. You came to me after a big fight with Azzy."

You opened your mouth in shock. "I can't believe you still remember that!"

"Well, hard to forget," he said, dryly. "I had never seen you so upset." His expression turned pensive and worried, as if he was sensing the truth in your expression, which had turned from shocked to anxious with one sentence. He was sensing that maybe you weren't letting on exactly how saddened you were regarding the situation with Azriel. Of course, only Feyre and Aiden knew you were with child, and this factor contributed greatly.

"You know, because now you two are doing a lot more than just argue..." Malakai tried to lighten the mood, and for a second it worked. Then he did that stupid thing that mortals do; he made a "kissy face"... and then some.

Your eyes widened, but you had a big grin on your face. "Gods, Malakai! You did not just do that in public!" but your friend just smirked, innocently shrugging his shoulders. You wouldn't stay mad at him anyway. Never could.

The two of you finished your cones in silence.

"Let's walk around for a bit," Kai said, wiping his hands with a napkin.

"Okay, sure."

You and Kai walked behind the bustling marketplace to a lone bench where the two of you used to come all the time. It was your spot.

"I do have something to tell you, though."

"Oh yeah?" Kai looked as if he was trying to guess your news.

You took a breath in to steady yourself. "I'm telling you before most of the others... because I trust you. And I love you, you've always been..." another small inhale. "Maybe you can help me figure out what to do."

Kai swiveled so he was facing you more. "Of course," he smiled. "You know I'd do anything for you."

You smiled gratefully. "You may know that Azriel didn't really leave me on the best terms... Well, uh, he didn't leave me, specifically, you know, but I just mean that we'd argued before he left." You rambled. "A lot, actually. We argued a lot."

Kai put a comforting hand on your arm. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready," he said gently, kindly.

Kai kindness overwhelmed you, but lately it had felt like Feyre was treating you a bit like a broken doll, and she was just waiting for you to finally crack. Being doted on wasn't a bad thing, but it felt suffocating especially now, and you felt Feyre's time was wasted when you realised that only one thing would make you feel better about this situation, you were too much a coward to do. It should've been easy, telling Azriel he was going to be a father. You were good at writing, letters especially. So why couldn't you tell Azriel?

Everything is just more complicated when love is involved.

You cleared your throat. "Sorry. I'm fine. I'm ready to talk about it, I promise."

"Okay," Kai nodded. "No pressure."

"I'mfourteenweekspregnantandAzrieldoesn'tknow." The words spilled out like a waterfall. A small brook, perhaps. All in one motion but in a low whisper. There was no going back now, but it seemed Kai hadn't heard your jumble of words.

"You're... what?"

"Pregnant. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and Az- Azriel doesn't know." you were dangerously close to tears, but you felt a million times better now that you had told someone else.

Kai was silent for a dangerously long time. Then his mouth curved into a small grin. "Wow, y/n. I'm so happy for you!" and then he clarified, upon seeing your slightly startled expression. "I know you've been wanting to start a family for a while now, and you're the most deserving person to have your dream come true." He took a deep breath in. "I'll admit it's difficult that Azriel doesn't know, but you're strong, and we can work through this together."

You had started to cry. "S-sorry, I'm happy too, I- I don't know what to do. I've been k-keeping it from you for so long, and I just don't know what to do." Your voice broke.

"You don't need to apologise, I get it. It's going to be difficult, y/n, but you don't need to do it alone."

"You've kept a pregnancy from Aiden before?" you sniffed.

He smiled softly, wiping a trickling tear. "No, but I know relationships take work. What you and Az are going through is only natural, and you're both the strongest people I know. I see the bond you two have, and it's like no other I've seen." He stretched over the table to wipe away a tear falling down your cheek. "It's beautiful, y/n. I know you, and I know Az. He will support you, and whatever you choose, so will I."

You sniffed again, wiping away more tears. Gods, there were a lot of tears on your face. Kai pulled a large, thick handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to you.

"Aiden makes me carry it around, the massive thing. A real inconvenience. However, I've been told it makes an excellent torniquet." the warrior shrugged.

You managed a laugh. "Thanks."

Kai's expression softened. "Are you happy?"

His question caught you by surprise. "I've been processing these part few weeks. We were fighting because just noticed Azriel got increasingly unenthusiastic about our dates. About me," you felt the lump in your throat as you spilled your heart out. "S-sometimes I feel the b-bond go cold. Since he's been gone I can barely feel it, Malakai. I have to reach oh-so-far for something that should be permanent. Something that should be natural, and easy."

Kai wrapped you up in a hug, and you rested your head on his shoulder.

You took a pause. "But am I happy? I think so. If I can work this out with Az, then I will be. Really happy." You smiled slightly at the thought.

Kai nodded knowingly.

"Looks like you've only gotten wiser with age," you noted, slightly sad. Where'd all the time gone?"

"I guess we've both just gotten busier these past few centuries. You were sorting out your... confusing friendship with Azriel," you let out a laugh at that. Confusing was certaintly one word you could use to describe the relationship you and Az had before mating. Kai continued. "Well, and then you found out you were mates, but I was busy training here while trying to keep my relationship from my parents."

Your smile dropped a little. "But they were at your wedding, are you guys still okay?"

"Thanks for your concern, but we're all good. It's just that when I was younger, I saw how the villagers treated my sister when she confessed to me she favoured females, and word got out. It was a miracle no one blabbed to my parents before she finally told them decades later," he smiled. "I'm lucky my family are so supportive."

"I have a pretty great family too," you squeezed his hand.

The two of you sat in silence for a beat, smiling.

"Wait, before you said '"most" of the others know about your pregnancy. Who else knows?" Kai asked after a moment.

"Well, Madja, obviously, and Feyre and Aiden."

"My Aiden? He kept this from me?" The Lieutenant's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. Aiden was definitely about to receive a stern lecture about how his wedding vows promised no lies.

You laughed. "Well, smart guy, your Aiden is a healer, and I couldn't exactly go visit Madja because Rhys is always there on High Lord business, and Cass occasionally brings his soldiers there for checkups, you know this. Besides, Aiden's clinic is more private, and I like getting priority service," you replied, smug.

Kai sighed, "And here I was thinking that I was the only one getting that service. When you think you know someone." he tutted.

"Well, people surprise you." You couldn't help but bitterly think "Just like my mate did."

"But I know your news before Cass?" When you nodded, he did a celebratory fist pump. "I always knew I was your favourite. $5 for me, baby."

"Don't be silly, I love you Illyrian babies all equally. Wait, you guys bet on me?"

Kai snorted, choosing to ignore your latter comment, but the gleam in his bright blue eyes told you all you needed to know.

You just rolled your eyes. "When do you think I should tell the rest of our friends?"

Kai composed himself as he realised you were jumping back to serious conversation. He cleared his throat, and said, "Well, you want to tell them all together, right?"

When you nodded, he continued. "So, logically, unless you want to tell everyone while they're drunk playing board games, or drunk, dancing at Rita's, I'd say your best bet is at our group dinners, but you know, tell them early, so they're not too drunk." He gave a small smile.

"That's what I was thinking. Gods, when's the next dinner again?"

You counted what day of the week it was in your head. If you guys usually gathered for dinner on Fridays, but the Velaris Night Markets occurred on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays... but Thursdays were when Feyre and Rhys had their meetings (which you remembered Feyre had gone to that afternoon), it would mean that the next family dinner was...

"Tomorrow," Kai finished helpfully. "Friday."

"That's soon," you tried not to sound too panicked.

"Luckily you have me to help you then."

***

The Inner Circle sat around the grand dinner table in the beautifully adorned dining room of the Night Court. The soft glow of candlelight danced on their faces, creating an atmosphere of warmth and camaraderie. Feyre and Rhysand were engaged in a lighthearted banter, their eyes filled with affection, while Mor, Amren, and Cassian laughed along, their spirits high. Nesta had her hand on Cassian's shoulder, and Elain was talking with Nuala. Aiden and Kai were sitting across from you, Kai's eyes trying to meet your own. Tonight would be the big night.

As the conversation lulled, your heart pounded in your chest, your hands clammy with nerves. Taking a deep breath, you gathered your courage, your voice slightly shaky but resolute, and cleared your throat to gain everyone's attention. Feyre's eyes met yours with a flash of concern, then understanding. You sent her an unsure smile and nodded slightly, notifying her that you were ready to share the news with your family.

"I... um, I have something important to share with all of you," you began, your eyes flickering with a mix of vulnerability and determination. You looked towards Kai and Aiden; both of them looked ecstatic, and you could tell Kai was reigning in his emotions. The room fell into an expectant silence as every member of the Inner Circle turned their gaze towards you, their expressions a blend of curiosity and concern.

Your eyes darted around the table, locking with each person's gaze, drawing strength from their unwavering support. You continued, "I'm pregnant."

The room erupted in a cacophony of reactions. Cassian's jaw dropped; a half-chewed bite of food forgotten in his mouth. Rhysand, startled by the unexpected news, coughed and choked on his wine, while Feyre, caught between annoyance and concern, hit his shoulder. She caught your eye and sent you a look that apologised for Rhys' behaviour.

"He doesn't mean it like that!" she mouthed. For the first time in your life, you hoped your expression betrayed your thoughts. "I'm sorry", you were trying to convey. "I love you". Feyre nodded once and smiled, and you knew she understood.

Mor was the first one to say something. She let out an excited gasp, clapping her hands together. "Y/n, that's amazing! You're going to be a wonderful mother," she exclaimed, her eyes shining with genuine joy.

You felt everyone else's eyes on you. Amren had narrowed her eyes, and Varian was looking quite uncomfortable. Oh dear.

You felt a bittersweet mixture of relief and apprehension wash over you as you glanced around the table, searching for comfort amidst the tumultuous sea of emotions. Everyone looked pleased though, it seemed the extra 5 seconds of processing time had done wonders. Even Amren had a slight smile on her face now, and Varian looked less... strange.

Rhys, having gathered himself now, spoke next, a beaming smile on his face. "I'm so happy for you, y/n! You and Azriel deserve this. How'd he take the news?"

You hesitated, your eyes dropping to your plate, tracing the intricate patterns etched onto the fine China. You could feel the glances of Feyre, Aiden and Kai on you.

"I... uh.... haven't told him yet," and then there was silence in the room again.

The weight of your words was sinking in for your friends.

"I don't want to get into it now, and- and ruin our evening," you said, voice shaking slightly. Perhaps you'd already ruined the evening, if the heavy silence was any indication. "But we haven't exactly been on the best terms lately. We were fighting all up until he left, and I- I can barely feel the bond anymore. He hasn't written me back in a month.

With that bomb dropped, you looked up to the ceiling, blinking away tears.

"I'm scared."

Cassian, recovering from his initial shock, reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on your trembling one. "We're here for you, y/n," he reassured you, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth. "And when Az comes back, we'll figure it out together. You won't be alone in this. I can't believe it. You're pregnant." He finished with a joyous laugh.

Aiden chimed in, "We love you, y/n. As long as we're here, you don't have to do anything alone."

"You have the best support system possible; one that has been formed through years of hardship. No bond is stronger than this group bond, y/n." Kai continued. "Your pregnancy will be a beautiful thing."

Nesta spoke up next. "You can count on us for anything, y/n/n. I know you must have concerns, but now you don't have to carry them alone." You sent her a grateful smile, to which she returned.

"It'll fly by, the 10 months. Enjoy the process. Plus, you'll look great with the pregnancy glow." Feyre laughed.

Then Elain cleared her throat - daintily, if that was possible. "I'm happy for you too, y/n. Your child is lucky to have you as a mother, and... I know we're not too close, but you can count on me." She smiled; her cheeks rosy as all the attention turned to her.

You were in shock. That was the most you'd ever heard Elain speak, especially in front of everyone. You reached across the table and lightly put your hand on hers.

Surprisingly, Amren said, "You're in capable hands, y/n. It'll be such a joy having another Nyx around." The table chuckled at her sarcasm, but you knew she meant it with no malice.

"That means more than you could know. Thank you, everyone."

"You know how Azriel is. He may draw back, but he is always there for the ones he loves and trust me when I say you're on the top of his list." Mor said. "I don't know how he'll react to the news,"

Your smile dropped a little. Thanks for the confidence boost, Mor.

"But I know that every relationship has its ups and downs. You've been there for him since the day you arrived, and he's been there for you, too. I can promise you that this experience will only help the two of you grow closer." Mor's words were sincere.

As the Inner Circle rallied around you, offering support, reassurance, and a safe space to share your fears and uncertainties, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you. Even Varian had bowed his head in respect. In that moment, you realized that you were not alone in your journey. With your loved ones by your side, you knew you had the strength and resilience to face whatever lay ahead. When the time came to reveal the news to Azriel, they would help you navigate the delicate path, giving you the support and courage, you needed.

And so, amidst the clinking of cutlery, the sound of Feyre's exasperated sigh as Cerridwen chased after Nyx (who'd run into the room looking for his mother), and the warm laughter that filled the House of Wind's dining room, you embraced the love and acceptance that you had received, finding solace in the knowledge that no matter the challenges you faced, you would never have to face them alone.

You tugged on the bond once again. Once. Twice.

And then you felt it. A pull from Azriel. Stronger than you'd felt in months.

***

"You guys really didn't have to plan all this," you smiled fondly at your friends, who insisted on throwing you a baby shower. Feyre later told you that she spent almost an hour explaining the mortal concept to Amren and Cassian, the latter thinking it was about hygiene. It had almost been 3 weeks since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had embraced your news with love and kindness, just as Aiden, Feyre and Kai all insisted they would.

"Nonsense, y/n. You deserve the best baby bath achievable." Cassian beamed.

"Shower, Cassian." Feyre reminded him.

"I just showered," Cassian rolled his eyes. Nesta slapped his shoulder, and he quickly stopped his jokes when she gave him a kiss. You suppressed a snicker as you watched her. Cassian looked at her so lovingly, and Nesta, however annoyed she may be, always returned that look with equal fierceness.

You looked to your High Lord and Lady. Rhysand was sitting in a plush armchair, and Feyre was perched on his lap, his hand draped across her waist, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on her cream sweater. Nyx's addition to their family had only made them closer, and you could only pray that your little one could provide the same effect.

It was obvious to a total fool that Varian was irrevocably in love with Amren. His gaze was constantly on her, his eyes soft and longing, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. Amren rarely shared personal stories with the Inner Circle, but maybe she'd told the prince of Adriata something she hadn't yet shared with everyone else. You had a feeling Amren was going to find her eternal happiness with him. After all, he was here casually lounging with the Night Court's elite Inner Circle, wasn't he?

Then you looked to the pile of presents that your closest friends had prepared for you. The pink and blue streamers your friends had pinned around the room. Feyre said she was incorporating another tradition into this baby shower, something called a 'gender reveal', that she said was a celebration where loved ones of the mother gathered so she could make the gender of her child known. The room laughed as Rhys recited some adorable thing Nyx had done that morning, and for a second you were just lost in the haze. These wonderful people had chosen to spend time with you, and all vowed to support you.

The baby shower and gender reveal passed in a blur. It was just a mess of happy memories. You opened and accepted everyone's gifts (even the sharp "toy" Amren had gifted for "teething purposes". Perhaps Azriel would like that one.), and Nuala, Cerridwen and Elain had done an amazing job with the cake, which had either pink or blue frosting inside.

Since you wanted Aiden to keep the gender a secret, you had no idea what colour was in the cake either, and you were equal parts excited yet slightly nervous. If you thought hearing your baby's heartbeat made it real, celebrating this moment with your friends made it unreal. This was truly, really, definitely, happening.

You cut into the cake and it was...

"Pink!" you exclaimed. "Pink! She's a girl!"

Your friends whooped and cheered, Feyre rushed up to hug you, and Cassian immediately bobbed down to your stomach.

"A baby girl! Aw," he cooed. "Uncle Cass is going to spoil you!"

You laughed at Cassian, but he had lifted the mood tremendously. You couldn't believe it. You were having a girl, and you knew she would be perfect.

After the celebrations, Kai came and found you flipping through a photo album. It had detailed most of your and Azriel's relationship, and now there was a chapter all about your pregnancy.

"Thinking about him?" Malakai asked.

You smiled sadly, thinking about the huge milestone you had just celebrated without him. "I can't help it. I miss my mate." and sent another tug down the bond.

This time, it wasn't reciprocated. Something felt different, this time. You almost thought you heard a cry of pain.

***

“You know, maybe it would help to get out of here a little,” Cassian said one day at training. You were in the middle of sparring with him and Nesta, sweat dripping down your face, but you could tell they were going easy since the birth of your daughter only 5 weeks prior.

"Yeah, y/n,” Nesta smiled as she thrusted the dagger upward. "No harm in a holiday, you work so hard."

You stopped, mid-jab into where Cassian's shoulder would've been as you considered the idea. You hadn't left the Night Court for leisure in over three decades, and a small part of you did long to explore the other courts. Back when you and Az still talked of the future, the two of you had dreamed of holidaying in all the seven courts.

>>>>

"Do you ever think of the future?" you asked, playing with your mate's hair. Azriel paused his reading and thought.

He hummed softly, replying, "Of course, one with you."

You smiled, hands resuming their tousling of Azriel's hair, "I think one day I would like to travel. See all the places that the stories told me about when I was younger."

"That sounds perfect," Azriel replied, now fully sitting up and facing you. His book was discarded, and his hands were drifting up and down your arms. "I am content everywhere with you, but I hear the Winter and Summer courts are especially beautiful year-round."

You made a noise of happiness. "How much wine do you think we would need to buy Rhys for him to gift us one of his luxurious holiday homes in the Winter Court?"

Azriel's laugh ricocheted through the empty house, "My darling mate, I bet it's more wine than we can afford."

You laughed softly, "Well, I guess we better start saving. When I mend relations with Spring and Autumn, we must visit all the courts! Oh, just imagine it, Az."

Azriel's eyes softened. "Have I ever told you how much I admire you?"

You tilt your head, "You tell me every day, Az, but I think I admire you more." you said in a whisper, as if it were a secret, but how could it ever be, with a mate like Azriel?

Azriel smiled but shook his head. "Your job is amazing, y/n. Co-ordinating all these alliances, responding to our people's concerns and solving their problems. Velaris would really be nowhere without you."

You blush under Azriel's heated gaze, and say, "Well, someone's got to make the bribe money for Rhys' wine."

Azriel laughed deeply, the sound warming your soul. "Well, good thing I make up for my immense lack of income with other skills."

You watched the corner of Azriel's mouth curl up in a smirk. "Wouldn't you agree, my love? Or would you like a reminder?"

>>>>>>>>

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Cerise. Cerise Beatrice Singer.

Beatrice was your mother's name. A mortal name. She was half fae, as her mother was mortal. The courts gossiped for your entire childhood, from when you were six up until at least seventeen. They didn't even stop when she died. Seventeen was the year where you couldn't take it anymore. The year you finally left your 'family' and fled into the centre of Prythian. You travelled around from court to court for 2 years until one day, you arrived in the Night Court.

The people of your old village called her horrible names. They'd hiss at your mother as she walked across the street, throw all sorts of things at her. They were horrified that a mortal walked the streets of Prythian freely, no matter the fact she had never actually been in the Mortal Lands. No matter the fact she grew up the same as them. No matter the fact that she learnt the same faerie customs in the same faerie schools. No matter the fact that she grew up eating faerie food and wearing faerie-produced clothing.

No matter any of that.

Once, there was a rumour that you heard at school. People were saying your mother used witchcraft to lure herself a man "as great as that scum's father". You hid behind a wall, eavesdropping. The voices were muffled, the pitch all weird, but it was clear they were talking about you. Aiden was there with you. When he saw you were on the verge of tears, he told you to cover your ears and he hugged you tight. But even his hugs were never as tight as your mother's.

You are remembering thinking that you had never heard such foul language coming from 11-year-old children. You had dared a peek into the classroom, and when you saw the towering figures huddled, you realised. It was the teachers. The teachers using slurs and the teachers belittling the one woman who actually cared about you. About everything.

Decades from that day you thought of your past. You thought that, maybe it was true that once, your father had felt love for her. Beatrice bore him 4 children, after all. You knew your mother married him soon after meeting, and when she would brush your hair, back when you were young and the world was simple, she would tell you stories about how he courted her. Oh, how he courted her. Before the age of eight you used to wish for a love story like theirs. But as you grew up, it was plain to see that he felt nothing for her. In the end, one of your father's drunken rages had led to her death, and she died protecting you.

She cared for you when no one else did, in your family. Not your older siblings, and certainly not your father.

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Love and passion. That's what her name meant.

You were going to make sure love was all she felt from her family. Cerise was going to grow up with love. You loved her, your true family loved her, and Azriel would love her. You were sure.

Her raven hair was just like his, her eyes were like his too. Sometimes a piercing green, sometimes a calming brown. Beautiful, just like her father. She had your mouth though; Feyre had told you. When she smiled it was like the sun brightening the sky after a storm, and you had never seen anything better. She loved to laugh, her small eyes crinkling at the corners, her nose twitching. She was beautiful.

Cerise, she had wings. Small, baby Illyrian wings, but wings none the less. Wings like Azriel. Not wings like your father, but wings like Azriel. Majestic and powerful, with the ability to give what you had lacked; freedom.

>>>>>>>>

It had almost been 9 months since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had spared no expense, treating you and Cerise like royalty.

Feyre could tell you were drained from your new motherly duties and said she would be happy to take care of your daughter for as long as you needed, but you had refused her offer.

"Oh no, Feyre, that's so kind," you smiled gratefully at your friend. "It's okay though, I will pick a place suitable for the both of us."

You had picked up Cerise from eager Auntie Mor's that morning and had decided. It was time for a holiday.

Feyre's eyes were scanning your face, waiting to pounce on any sign of hesitation. "Besides," you continued. "You have Nyx to think about!"

Upon hearing her son's name, Feyre beamed. "Yes! Oh y/n, I am so excited to have them grow up together." Her eyes softened. "It may seem hard now, but I know you'll be a great mother."

You reached for your friend and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Feyre. I learn from the best."

When you pulled back Feyre grasped your hands, grinning excitedly. "Now for the fun part. Let's pick a holiday destination; where are we sending you!"

Rhys walked in about an hour after you and Feyre decided to research to find Prythian's best Court for a vacation.

"How about the Day Court?" He suggested. "Helion loves you, and I'm sure both you and your daughter would enjoy the sunshine."

You looked at Feyre who was beaming.

"That sounds perfect."

That's how you ended up holding your daughter, watching as Helion - ever the show-off - had insisted you fly to the Day Court in his finest white carriage, led by the horses with manes of flame. When Rhys had heard about this plan, he just rolled his eyes, telling you that once, he had banned Helion from coming into the Night Court in that carriage, but Helion's loophole was to take you out of the Night Court in it.

"Go easy on the flying, okay? You have a post-partum mother and a baby on board," you said to Helion, only half-joking.

Helion raised one dark eyebrow at you in reply. "Of course. I promise you a mellow ride." He smiled and turned his attention back to his horses. A quick tug on the reigns from Helion, and the three of you were gone.

@ladyescapism 💗💗

edit: I ONLY JUST REALISED I DONT USE READ MORE OMLLLL

edit 2: WEDDING VOWELS LMFAO

#broken bonds #azriel angst #azriel fluff #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x y/n #azriel x reader #azriel fic #azriel x you

[starogeorgina]

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬

Paring: Harwin Strong × reader

Warnings: Swearing, hints of violence

3.03

One hand rests on your bump, while the other holds onto Aerion’s hand. Your second born son had separation anxiety as a toddler, so everywhere he went, he had to hold onto your hand. Aerion had mostly grown out of it, but whenever he was nervous or afraid, holding your hand would soothe and comfort him, and being around a place he was unfamiliar with had caused him to become more quiet than normal.

Ada was sitting beside her grandsire, Ser Lyonel, and was completely caught up in his tales of Harrenhal, a place she had yet to visit. It did worry you slightly how pale your father-in-law seems, but perhaps he was exhausted from playing with your children or the worry felt after receiving a raven saying his wife was sick with a fever. Your father beams as Vaegon tells him about his bond with Nightmare and how large his dragon is.

You feel a tug on your dress, and Aerion quietly asks if he’s allowed to go and play with his cousins in the gardens. “Of course, sweetling,” you smile. “I’ll let you know when it’s time to get ready for supper.”

A few moments had passed before Aegon approached you. He slid into the chair beside you and let out a huff. “Why does he still hold your hand?”

“It comforts him.”

“It’s weird.”

As much as Aegon’s comment irritates you, you couldn’t deny that a mother showing so much affection to her son would be weird to him, simply because he wasn’t used to it. “It’s not weird; some children find comfort and warmth from being close to their parents.”

Your brother brushes stands of strangely silvery hair out of his face. Scrunching his nose up, he says, “But why do you let him?”

His question is painful to hear. “Because he’s my son, and I want him to feel safe.”

Aegon doesn’t reply for several moments, and when he finally speaks again, he makes a remark about how Sunfyre's dragon was bigger than Varos.

“Is that so?” You stand and motion for him to follow; instead, Aegon stares at you blankly, so you take his hand and lead him to the window. An action that doesn’t go unnoticed by your father, who smiles.

“What are we looking at?”

“Wait for it…”

Your brother is left speechless as a dark shadow cast by Varos overtakes the keep. He had grown so large over the past few years that he was now the same size as the wild dragons. Feeling slightly smug, you grin. “What was that you were saying, brother?”

“How did he get so big?”

A mixture of amazement and confusion was painted across his face. Remembering how fascinated you were with the size of Dreamfyre, who was the largest dragon you had seen when you were Aegon’s age, you smile. “Two hundred years before the doom, the Valyrians settled on Dragonstone, and it’s believed they used sorcery and magic to shape it like dragons on purpose, so that it instilled fear in those who saw it. It's said that the same magic that lingers on the island is what causes the dragons who live there to thrive.”

“And you really believe that?”

“Do you think Varos would have grown so large otherwise?”

Aegon says nothing, but you smile, noticing he’s still loosely holding your hand.

—

“If you cannot drink wine, you should at least indulge in one of these. The cream is to die for.”

You pick up one of the strawberry tarts laid out amongst the bread, cheeses, fruits, and sweet tea that Ser Laenor had brought to your sister's quarters. It had been some time since you spent any real time with your cousin, so it was pleasant to spend some time with him.

Noticing Ada watching you closely, you dip your finger into the cream on top of your tart. You pretend to go to lick your finger, but instead you wipe it on the tip of her nose. The giggle she lets out warms your heart.

Laenor leans back in his chair with a faint smile on his lips, his face clouded from consuming so much wine. He was an unhappy man, and neither the richest of Dornish wine nor the finest of men would help him find peace. Sometimes you wonder if his love for his sons is the only thing keeping him alive.

“Where are the boys?”

“They are with Ser Tyland.”

Laenor takes a large gulp of his wine, finishing the cup before placing it down. “And Ser Harwin?”

“In the training yard, he was instructed by Rhaenyra to supervise my nephews and brothers sparing,” you laugh. “It won’t be long now until your sister has her babe; Daemon is convinced it’s another girl.”

You stay in your cousin's company until it’s time to take Ada to attend her lesson in High Valyrian.

—

“Might I ask what you’re staring at?”

Harwin chuckles. He was leaning against the doorway, seeming content watching as you unbraided your hair since deciding to remain in your quarters for the rest of the evening. “I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you look.”

You feel your heart skip a beat at his words and the way he looks at you.

You smile, thinking of his compliment as your fingers untangle the wavy strands of hair still stuck together. “How are my nephews coming along in their training?”

“I think the sooner the boys come to Dragonstone, the better.”

His response takes you by surprise. “Oh, my father told me Jace and Luke were training daily, so I assumed they would be getting along fine.”

“Cole is teaching your brother’s cruelty; he had Jacaerys fight both Aegon and Aemond at the same time. The poor lad didn’t have a chance.”

Your heart sinks at the news, and you feel a rage building inside of you. “I didn’t realize it was that cun—Cole was training them; I thought it would have been another knight training Jacaerys and Lucerys.”

Harwin stands beside you and runs his own fingers through your hair, enjoying the feel of the soft texture against his calloused hands. “Life will be much better for them in Dragonstone, for all of us. Besides, it will be better for Ada and Lucerys to grow up together.”

Not long after the birth of your daughter, Rhaenyra and Laenor proposed a betrothal between your daughter and their second-born son, sweet Lucerys. At first, Harwin was hesitant to accept because they are cousins; however, he had to admit he preferred it to the Valyrian custom of siblings marrying. And most importantly, you knew a son of Rhaenyra would always treat your daughter kindly.

You rest your palm on your stomach and say, “Hopefully, my love.”

—

Luckily, you remember the knights shift patterns from all your years of sneaking around the red keep and use them to your advantage. You sneak into Ser Criston's quarters just before he finishes for the night.

Surprised by your presence, the knight jumps back until he’s pressed against the wall. As you step closer to Sir Criston, you see the amusement on his face. “What is your intention towards Jacaerys?” you demand. “Rhaenyra has told me everything.”

A smug look spreads across Criston’s face until he fills the tip of your dagger just under his chin. He takes a deep breath before replying. “I have no ill intentions towards the boy, princess.”

“I don’t believe you. You’ve known all along who his biological father is, and yet you continue to torment my sister?” You ask, confused and frustrated.

“Did she tell you I asked her to marry me?”

“Yes, she mentioned some ridiculous proposal of you running away together to Essos and marrying for love.”

“I’m sure your husband would enjoy hearing that you find marrying for love ridiculous.”

“Jest about my husband again,” you dare, while pressing the blade up enough to cause more pressure. “You gave into temptation and blamed my sister for soiling your white cloak; is that it?”

“You’ve always been very observant, haven’t you, princess?”

“None of this is Jacaerys fault.” Seeing the fleeting look of fear in the knight's eyes, you lower the blade. The only reason you were giving Criston a chance to change his ways was because he cared for your younger siblings, especially Aegon. It was no secret that neither Alicent nor your father gave him the attention he needed to feel loved. “He is innocent in all of this, and need I remind you that any punishment Rhaenyra would receive if the truth was revealed would be much worse for you.”

“I understand,” he says meekly.

As you turn to leave, Criston suddenly grabs your arm roughly, then spins you to face him. He leans in and plants a kiss on your lips. You're taken aback by the unexpected display of affection from him, and you slap him hard across the face, feeling your cheeks burning with rage.

The knight looks at you with sincerity in his eyes. “It was never Rhaenyra I wanted, princess; it was always you.”

#house of the dragon #ser harwin strong x you #harwin strong x you #harwin strong fanfic #ser harwin strong x reader #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon fanfic #broken bonds #house of the dragon x reader #harwin strong/reader #harwin strong/you #ser harwin strong fanfic #ser harwin strong fanfiction #harwin strong x reader #harwin strong #ser harwin strong

[bookishfae]

enemies to lovers shouldnt include sexual assault. enemies to lovers shouldnt include sexual assault. enemies to lovers shouldnt include sexual assault. enemies to lovers shouldnt include sexual assault. enemie—

#the ties that bind #j bree #broken bonds #oleander fallows #nox draven #booktok #books

[sydneymack]

Oli and her Bondeds - Broken Bonds

Artist: @ivy_gwendolline / @ivygwendolline

#oleander fallows #oli fallows #atlas bassinger #nox draven #north draven #gryphon shore #gabriel ardern #broken bonds #the bonds that tie #tbtt #j bree

[edparkerreads]

I finished The Bonds That Tie by J. Bree last weekend. And I needed to do a quick Oli and her shadow pups piece. So here we are.

#the bonds that tie #broken bonds #oleander fallows #draven bonds #book fanart #romance books #fantasy books #fanart #procreate #tumblr #digital art #digital portrait #shadow pups #cute puppy #dog art #why choose #why choose books