#bruh I took a 3 hour nap

[brozumaki-a]

.

#o . | just a ramblin man | . o o c . #// I took a 3 hour nap earlier #// and I can’t sleep #// it’s like 1AM #// I haven’t even put up a promo #// for sarada LOL #// bruh

[hoodharlow]

After that night with Monse, they kinda forgot about getting that Plan B and kept having unprotected sex until Monse noticed that she hadn't had her period in months.They ass forgot abt plan b, STILL HAD UNPROTECTED SEX, she missed her period AND THEY SURPRISED?! This baby wasn’t no accident 😭

What she did not expect was getting disowned and cut off by them. I- 😧 bruh WHAT?!?

They were shocked by the news, but were ecstatic that they were going to have a grandchild. Now THEY ARE GOOD PARENTS/GRANDPARENTS!!

she opened her own bookshop coffee shop. It became successful within the last eighteen months. YESSS we love a successful business women!! 🤭

Nonetheless, Jack and Monse still hooked up. YESSSS WE LOVE TO SEE GOOD CO-parenting & good sex, hopefully this time they learn they lesson & wear protection 🤪

Monse got an IUD after their daughter was born because she wasn't planning on having kids anytime soon. WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER YALL!! She said nope not this time 😌

He was rude, entitled and arrogant. In class he played 'devil's advocate' during socratic seminars and tried to force his close minded opinions on the class during class discussions. See I already DIDNT like him, when I saw his name was bRoDy. Like boy stfu wit yo bitch ass name AND YO THREE INCH DICK!

She was still hungry from her date since Brody only ordered appetizers for them. Boy how & why the fuck, would you invite someone on a date AND THEN NOT EVEN GET THEM A REAL MEAL?? That’s real BROKE of u 🤨

She knew Jack was in a mood after seeing her come back from her date and used her birthday as a way to remind her that she was his and only his. Let us take a moment of silence for this whole thing………OKAY BACK TO WHORING 🤪

Brody handed her her jacket. "You left it in my car. I took the initiative and drove back after I got home." NAHH this creepy fucker grabbed it, probably when she went to put the code in 😑

(Okay wait I gotta add second part, I’m sorry there’s js so much, cause I rlly loved this 😭)

I took a 3 hour nap on accident 🤭🤭🤭

They ass forgot abt plan b, STILL HAD UNPROTECTED SEX, she missed her period AND THEY SURPRISED?! This baby wasn’t no accident 😭 SCREMAING

I- 😧 bruh WHAT?!? Her mom makes an appearance in part 2 👀👀👀 and shit gets messy

Now THEY ARE GOOD PARENTS/GRANDPARENTS!! They are Lily is their BABYYYY

YESSS we love a successful business women!! 🤭 she's an entrepreneur 💅🏼

YESSSS WE LOVE TO SEE GOOD CO-parenting & good sex, hopefully this time they learn they lesson & wear protection 🤪 aH *Megan thee Stallion voice*

 WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER YALL!! She said nope not this time 😌 one is enough for them (for now)

See I already DIDNT like him, when I saw his name was bRoDy. Like boy stfu wit yo bitch ass name AND YO THREE INCH DICK! Just wait 🤭🤭🤭

Boy how & why the fuck, would you invite someone on a date AND THEN NOT EVEN GET THEM A REAL MEAL?? That’s real BROKE of u 🤨 like if you're broke just say that

Let us take a moment of silence for this whole thing………OKAY BACK TO WHORING 🤪

NAHH this creepy fucker grabbed it, probably when she went to put the code in 😑 ty for pointing this out it'll be useful later 👀👀👀

#awhoere4more 😌😌😌 #1d7tg thoughts

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Me and cat were asleep for 3 hours

bruh I just took the hardest nap of my life on my friend’s couch and she told me at one point I randomly snored really hard out of no where and it was so loud it made her and my sister jump 💀

[croissantbae]

July 10, 2022

I feel the passage of time most when I blog regularly. Because I consciously write down the date. And I’m always slightly taken aback by the date.

(1) I love our family gardening life. Naya has kind of always been into it. Even when she was teeny tiny. Dani is the least into it. But hopefully she’ll grow into it. Today when Dani took a nap the three of us went out and repotted a few plants. NAya was having a BLAST shaking fertilizer onto our plants. It was excessive. It’ll either kill our plants or make them into monsters. Naya also likes to check in on our worms too. I was feeling tired tonight but I forced myself to pot a few flowers my mom gave me and it reinvigorated me. Now I just want to keep putting stuff but the mosquitos are too intense.

This morning Jason made a warm bean salad w the tomatoes and parsley he grew. Dreamy. And for dinner we went to my moms and we ate the kketneep and peppers from her yard. I took a few cuttings from Eileen’s persimmon bush last week so I’m trying to propagate that. It’s so fun exchanging and getting cuttings from each other. I really hope the persimmons root successfully. I feel nervous about that one and my blueberries thst I’m trying to propagate. I repotted a blueberry bush and put it in new acidic soil and fertilizer and I think it shocked the blueberry because it totally withered. I took off all the leaves to hopefully stop the infection. We’ll have to try again next year for a fuller harvest.

(2) trudy and her family and hatty and her family came over to my moms for a very impromptu pool party. The pool was cold but also nice and refreshing for the hot day. Felt very much like kid summer vibes. Looking forward to more weekends there. I think my mom is also happy we’re utilizing it.

(3) Jason came back from vegas so I was w the kids alone for 2 nights and 3 days. On Thursday and Friday I was like bruh I got this. In my mind I thought he could have been gone for even longer! But just one Saturday morning without a nanny or someone helping me paSs the time was enough for me to be like “help me”. I was trying to clean the house but the kids were creating a mess 10x bigger than what I had just cleaned. And Dani kept slapping naya. I gave her so many time outs. Yelled at her. But home girl just stared at me with a blank face. No care in the world. And even during time outs she just chilled in the room.

Finally I realized there was the power of the tv. That saved my life.

[Naya actually drove the pool party to life because she was dying to swim. I had told her we were going in the water at kidspace but she thought I meant a pool so she got into her swimsuit and begged to swim for hours.]

At first it didn’t seem like the girls missed Jason that much except (1) when we were going to sleep the first night naya seemed concerned that Dani was going to sleep alone without Jason in the room w her, (2) naya kept asking where Jason was. I said he went on a trip. And she said she was scared. (3) we were at Nordstrom and Dani pointed at a mannequin in the male section and said “daddy” lol.

After he came back naya told Jason she missed him and she was scared he was on a trip. It really affirmed (again) we can’t divorce and neither one of us can die.

[estelle-lee]

jeongin, u fkn choked me 💀 but also gave the energy to live today 😃 - 12th August, 2023

good morningggggggggggggggg

my period ended today so shower was the first thing i did after waking up. i woke up at 10:30 am, not bad considering i slept around 3 am last night.

i didn't have lunch yet. 2 hours gone already. now i should study.

---

41 minutes in aaaaaaaaaaaaaand finished higher math chapter 1 cqs. lemme have lunch and then moving onto higher math chapter 5 cqs!

---

ok i was having lunch and all but THIS PICTURE CHOKED ME FR-

WHAT BEHAVIOR IS THIS MR. YANG JEONGIN???

our baby bread is now daddy toast 🙂

i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done

i was tired before… but after seeing this, i have enough motivation to finish the whole higher math model test cqs in one day.

so that's what we'll do. way to go yang jeongin…

---

BRUH

it took me 2 DAMN HOURS to complete higher math chapter 5, wtf i thought it was supposed to be easy? 〒▽〒

i'm disappointed… and sleepy… it took me more time because the maths were so hard that i became sleepy midway. still i did it… i can push through things, that's a new achievement in studies :D

---

i just finished working, i didn't take a nap :) i'll get back to studying again after this subliminal ends

---

ok so i worked, played and did everything but didn't study. ig i needed a break. i spent like 2 hours playing cats are liquid alits cuz it was just too fun and addicting.

good night <3

#dear diary #yang jeongin #stray kids #skz #periods

[elliemyun]

Tuesday, 5/23

SLEEP: 3 hours (5:30 AM - 8:30 AM)

MEALS:

Lunch: matcha, choco croissant

Dinner: rende west chicken bowl

REFLECTION:

good evening 🤯 uhm. in the early AMs ethan adam & i were dilly dallying in rieber terrace and talking about fragrances 🐼 we planned to wake up at 8:20AM to get BPlate breakfast and head to Kerckhoff. adam & i went to dykstra to wash our clothes from the bins. we were going to pull an all nighter but after a nap in the lounge we just decided to sleep. then ethan, adam, & i ALL failed to get up on time oh my goodness😹we all woke up then went back to sleep . bruh. adam & i went to kerk and spent lots of time w/ pauline i love pauline she is so precious 💟 uhm i wanted to take a mid day nap but i couldnt because no time. i met with kimi koo for rende dinner she is soo sweet and genuine and fun to talk to 💯 then i put flyers on every floor of dykstra hall n sproul hall it took a while😹i met w/ JP kelly n we had such a real and good talk i am so happy. then i took a nap & my roomie had to wake me up to go surprise my close friend amandawg for her bday! then the RA kicked us out she is such an OP omg 😭 adam & i studied in cedar. im sososoososooso tired

JP Update: kelly and i spend quality time together at olympic and had such a good 2 hour talk. i think we really connected today & i love kelly she's such an amazing JP. she also enjoyed our quality JP time. she's studying w/ pbros tonight and met with some people today.

TIME STAMP: 11:56 PM

[scoups4lyfe]

Journal Entries. (2)

These are all mood journal entries (so super short / concise) of mine; where I chart my daily moods over a period of time.

These chronicle the time right before I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (March) and when I started medication (antidepressants) for my depression / fatigue.

NOTE: These don't contain any long thoughts, literally just mood observations. But I think it does a pretty good job at showing just how inconsistent and sudden mood episodes / switching can be, and why they're so debilitating for trying to live a normal everyday life. I added some gifs / pictures for rando visuals LOL. Truly complete the reading experience 🤪.

Part: [1], [2], [3], [4] Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]

...

March 27th, 2021

Slept: 4am. Woke: 4pm

Mood: 2/10 Energy: Neutral (Maybe a 2/10)

I just feel empty. Like I need to go hibernate/go back to sleep. I’m not hungry. I’m not particularly motivated, and I kind of wish my sister would sit down and watch Hannibal with me and my mom, so it bums me out that she continues to put that off/ignore it.

I’m tired, man. It’s 8:21 pm, and I’m already thinking about going back to bed. When my family hangs out, I can be mindless and just let their good mood and entertainment take over. Other than that, I don’t feel particularly interested in doing anything, though I know I should. I have things to do. I don’t even feel bad about not doing anything. Just empty. Just ready to sleep.

March 28/29th, 2021:

:(

NOTE: Visual reference of what I looked like during this time

March 30th, 2021:

Bed: 6:30 pm. Woke: 4:30 am

Mood: -1/10

My mood can be directly related to how many gluten free brownies I’ve eaten today. (Thee ONLY thing I’ve eaten too might I add.) (it’s 5pm)

…

[Started taking meds]

Tuesday July 6th 2021 (6:03 pm) (12th)

NOTE: The number next to the date is the number of days since I started taking medication

took meds (YES)

I was kinda so depressed from the doctor’s visit and loss of money that even with the meds, it couldn’t stop me from sleeping. LOL.

Thursday July 8th 2021 (12:10 pm) (14th)

took meds: yes

I had enough energy to watch [my niece]

I had enough energy to have a mental breakdown.

Tuesday July 13th 2021 (19th)

took meds: yes (4:44 pm)

I feel so tired…fatigued….

Thursday, July 15th 2021 (21st)

took meds: yes (2:47)

Slept four hours

Overall energy: 3/10

Mood:4.5:10

Napped for three hours, had dinner + caffeinated tea and I feel shaky-awake.

Bruh I did not sleep (for the 16th) at all 💀💀💀.

Friday, July 16th, 2021 (22nd)

took meds: yes (12:06pm)

Haha going to bed right after I took my meds 😛🤷

Friday July 23rd, 2021 (31st)

took meds: yes (11:12 am)

This week idk. It’s been weird? Like tired and then also hyper fixated on nonsense =DD.

Why (2:40 pm) am I so tired? Don’t want to do anything.

(Currently Saturday morning, 6;22 am and I can’t sleep. I’m NOT tired. But I want to sleep.)

This is the WORST.

Saturday July 24th, 2021 (32nd)

took meds: 7:21 pm

I feel wired and tired and just like I can’t do anything even tho I have the energy to

Sunday July 25th, 2021 (33rd)

took meds: yes (11:26 am)

I know I woke up at 8pm today, but man I really don’t want to do SHIT. (And after drinking that nasty ass fiber supplement, I’m feeling tired =o. When will this insanity end?)

Tuesday July 27th 2021 (35th)

took meds: yes (10:04 am)

Mood (10:07 am): 7/10

Energy (10:07 am): 6.7/10

Wednesday July 28th 2021 (36th)

took meds: yes (4:23pm)

Literally went to sleep at 1am and woke up at 4:15 pm. Wtf? (I slept 16hrs LOL)

Mood (6:03 pm): 6.5/10

Energy (6:03 pm): 7.2/10

Today was a good day, I got more work done than yesterday :)).

(3:19, Thursday am): laid down and tried to sleep but now I feel more awake than ever.

Thursday July 29th 2021 (37th)

took meds: yes (4:29 pm)

Went to bed last night at 8am, woke up at 4:33 pm. (I hate not being able to fall asleep. Is it because I slept for 16 hrs the previous night? #sucks.)

Mood (7:44 pm): 7.5/10

Energy: (7:44 pm): 6.4/10

Friday July 30th 2021 (38th)

took meds: yes (8:15 pm)

I almost forgot to take them today ahhhhhh

Mood: 6/10

Energy: 6.7/10

Saturday July 31st 2021 (39th)

I have plenty of energy (I haven’t taken my meds yet) and yet I feel like I’m going insane. I. Can’t do anything right. Why why why why why must I continue to be a failure? I had something good going for me wtf is wrong with me? I don’t want to wake up anymore

Took meds: yes (11:44 am)

(Slept till 9pm, it’s 8:22 am Sunday and I’m still awake. But on the plus side I’m not careening dangerously into another mental breakdown.,,yet)

Sunday August 1st 2021 (40th)

took meds: yes (12:17 pm)

I haven’t slept yet today

General mood: hmmm 5/10 (12:18pm)

I do feel a little tired but that’s probably because I’ve been up since 9pm.

Generally tho I’m feeling pretty okay. (Guess we’ll see how the rest of today goes lol.)

[Prev] [Next]

#yeah these are absolutely wild to read in hindsight #LOL #me: I never said this #the july 31st entry is fvcking wild #what even was going on that day??? #writing #manic depression #bipolaire #actually bipolar #fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️ #a scoup of life 🔫🦆 #my thougts #online diary #journal

[nibeul]

why am I still tired after sleeping, this seems like a ripoff

#bruh I took a 3 hour nap #and I’m still tired as balls #nibs ramblings

[nachohypno]

Nate and Dave - Ch. 15

Dave’s POV

I’m sure you already know how much a single person can change a whole lot of your way to see the world, or have your life take a 180° turn (Had to look this up, angles are weird.) just by standing in a corridor.

Now I was just happy to stare at my phone’s unlocked background. A pic I took of us while cuddling. I was kissing his cheek and staring at the camera, while he just laid below me, his face had a little smile and his eyes were closed.

He loved that pic. I loved it too, it was both cute and wholesome. Never been one to do those things, nor even Leslie managed to get me to change my Dallas’ Cowboys background, and we had a lot more pics together than Nate and I do.

It was a nice distraction. I would sometimes just unlock my phone to see that pic and feel a bit warm inside as I imagined spending more time with my soulmate. I loved him a lot, and I wouldn’t mind sticking around with him for a day, or two, or the rest of my life, just to make sure he has all he needs to be happy like I am when I’m near him.

We sat together at school, yeah. Nobody batted an eye. We hung out during our breaks, still no big catastrophe happened. After school, we usually have a date or spend some time together before heading to our respective houses (As much as I’d like, having daily sleepovers wouldn’t be wise).

According to… everyone in the world who knows that I’m hanging out with Nate (Which may be just 2 or 3 people that I’m aware of), the guy had a really positive impact on my behavior. He’s always encouraging me to help whenever I can and to be… nicer, in general.

I’ve already apologized to one of my favorite targets a few weeks ago, but decided to fully leave them alone. In my house, however, I’ve been trying to honor my soulmate’s wishes doing some house chores to help mom and pops around. I still don't think I'm ready to 'change my public image' that much. Kicking nerd's asses is fun... but mean and unnecessary.

Mowing the lawn, going grocery shopping, cleaning around whenever my parents seemed quite tired to do it, that kind of thing. My room wasn’t a messy place before, but now I could spend less time looking for my stuff!

And now… Nate was at his house. I left him there per his request, he told me we could hang out later today! But first, he had some homework to do.

I looked around and noticed the door was closed. I dropped my shirt and pants, felt the locket’s cold metal against my chest, and dropped on my bed.

I wasn’t intending to take a nap, just close my eyes and think of my soulmate was a nice enough plan for my evening.

As I closed my eyes, images of my first day with him invaded my happy place. Me getting his scent, slowly walking over to his locker, and noticing the guy I never paid attention to, the one that sat a few rows in front of me, and was usually in the middle of the way when I threw paper balls around.

Now that I thought of it, maybe I never noticed him because he always hid? He was hiding right now; it was obvious that he was using his locker as a cover. I stood there, though. Taking in the smell. Feeling myself realizing more and more of that nice thought I had never thought about after my pops told me about that weird phenomenon.

…I had found my soulmate. The love of my life… It wasn’t my girlfriend, but a guy from my class… I frowned both in the real world and in my fantasy.

In the fantasy world, I lifted and kissed him. He didn’t fight back, just returned the love I was giving him by returning my kiss. I didn’t care if anyone watched us. I loved this guy, and I still do now.

I love Nate Hall.

I rubbed my crotch in the real world, as I kept kissing him in my fantasy. That was more than enough. A single kiss, a single thought about my soulmate being happy and in love with me could make me so hard and horny…

“Dave?” A voice said. My soulmate’s? It sounded so different though… I kept kissing him. This was perfect. He was perfect. He was the love of my life, of course he was perfect! “Daaaaave?”

Was there someone invading my fantasy? Oh, wait…

I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face standing there, wide eyed. I had my hand on my hard crotch, rubbing it. This was definitely an uncomfortable position to be found at. I could normally hear when people are walking towards my room, but maybe I was so out of it this time that I didn’t hear him.

“Fuck, sorry— Didn’t wanna—” My cousin said. What the fuck was he doing here, anyway?! In my room! When the fuck did he arrive?!

“Shut the fuck up! And close the door!” I commanded, feeling anger building up on my chest, totally replacing the warm feeling from a few seconds ago.

Brad Walker. My cousin was my height, which was a bit funny given that he was a few years older than me. He was muscled too, but his shoulders seemed wider as his torso formed a sort of upside down triangle. He was a rugby player, maybe it had to do with that.

By looking at his face alone, he could pass as a brother because of the resemblance. He had the Walker’s smile, looking both chilled while also managing to look a bit menacing to keep everyone in their toes.

Doesn’t give him much use, given that he’s a Beta.

Brad closed the door behind him, and laid back on it. “Off to a rocky start, I guess. Let’s try that again… Hey, cuz!”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could feel the anger diminishing. I thought of my soulmate, how would he react if he saw me like this. He would want me to be nice and polite to my cousin. I wanted that too, I wanted to be nice to him. I’m so hot-headed sometimes…

I smiled at Brad, and took a few steps forward to give him a bro hug. After that, I walked over to my bed and sat on the edge. “Hey man, wat’cha doin’ around here?”

“Uncle hasn’t told you? Pops and him thought about doing a little reunion, so we drove over and… here we are.” Brad left his hands in his pockets as he looked around. I noticed I was still almost naked, but didn’t give it much thought. I did put some shorts on, though. “Just the big guys, though. Mom was tired and decided to stay at home with the young ones, so it’s just pops, Logan and me today. The guys asked me to get you downstairs, so… shall we go?”

I pointed to my almost naked body. “Give me a few minutes, alright?”

-----

Dressed up in some shorts and a grey tank top, I walked downstairs with Brad following me closely.

Pops was there, with his brother and my other cousin. I walked over to Logan and gave him a brohug. I liked my cousins, they were like brothers.

“Hey man,” Logan greeted me after the hug. It was nice seeing him. Well, like, nice and not nice, because he was pretty annoying sometimes. So I hoped he didn’t get very annoying tonight. “Damn, you look buffed. Taking steroids already?”

I rolled my eyes. “Why do you ask? Need some to stop being so thin, cuz?”

“I swear I still don’t know how he's not broken after kicking that ball. Y’look like a stick, bruh” Brad backed me up. I liked that about Brad, he was pretty loyal.

Logan laughed. He’s not one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. He’s pretty easy going in that regard. Would need to learn from him, because I am one of those chums who get mad at every tiny insult. “Don’t pull my dick, assholes” He punched my shoulder, softly.

Even though Logan was a year older than me, he was an ass. And that’s coming from me.

Logan… He was alright, I guess. Not really very muscly like me or Brad, nor our parents for that matter. That’s because he liked soccer, ugh. Not even weightlifting, nah. Just soccer and cardio.

That got him looking well in a soccer uniform with long socks and knee pads, but… I really should reconsider his standing in my pack. Meh, might as well let him in just because he’s family, but I’ll most likely order him to start working out more to be a real wolf bro. (I’ll get into this later.)

“Uh… don’t wanna be rude or anythin’ but… how long are you guys staying? Thought about having a friend coming over and-”

“Ooooh, is it your girlfrieeend?” The soccer cuz said, moving his fingers towards my face. I slapped his hand off me, and he laughed. “Big meanie Daveee has a girlfrieeeend” He was like a little kid when it came to annoying others, and the worst part was that he nailed it.

“Oh, shut it, bro. You’re just jealous- Wait, that’s not what I was going to ask”

“Dad and uncle Adam thought about doing some beefs for tonight, soooo… family dinner, I guess? We don’t really hang out often, so I thought it would be nice. Besides, we all love beef” Brad answered, holding his arms behind his head and stretching for a bit.

“We’re about to leave, actually,” Uncle Thomas said, grabbing his car keys. “Gonna buy some meat and drinks for tonight. Y’guys wanna come? Hey cub, haven’t seen you in months...” 

I greeted my uncle with a firm handshake, before he gave me a little punch on the abs. “Strong as a rock. Not bad, kiddo.” He ruffled my hair, before turning his attention back to my pops.

I was a bit too worried to think about hitting the store. Nate was supposed to come after he finished his homework, so we could spend the night together. I was supposed to pick him up. Fuck, what am I gonna do?

I shook my head and remained silent. Brad followed suit with a “Yeeaaah… No, been in that car for an hour and I’d really like to move my legs.”

“Pussies,” Logan said in a snarky tone. I raised my eyebrow, but decided to take care of him later. “I’ll go, may find some hot chicks in this friggin’ town…” 

My uncle looked similar to my dad, just a few little differences. Dark blond hair, a bit longer. Their sizes were similar, but my dad was bigger. It was weird to think that my uncle was the one who activated the werewolf curse in a bar fight and not my dad.

If you kill someone, whether it was intentional or accidental, you can’t transform into neither your werewolf or full wolf forms without experiencing a lot of pain. Could be avoided by never turning into those forms but…

Transformation is mandatory during the full moon. This whole thing seemed really thought out to punish those who don’t follow the rules, right?

Brad grabbed my arm “Hey, since we’re staying behind apparently, wanna catch up?” He pointed back to the stairs, probably wanting to go to my room.

I nodded, nothing better to do. And it would give me some time to think about what excuse I could give Nate.

Again in my room, Brad closed the door behind me. “So… a friend? I mean, the locket already gave me an idea but I didn’t you were bringin’ her to your place already…”

“It’s nothing, really…” It was something, a lot. I loved wearing this locket, it reminded me of Nate. Thus meaning, it was pure bliss in a single necklace.

“So, what’s the locket for? Always thought you’d end up with that Leslie chick you talked so much about” Oh, I forgot. My cousins never met my ex.

I shook my head, but was kind of hesitant to talk about it. In the end, I eased myself to the idea as I thought more about Nate. “Got a soulmate now, cuz.” Was my answer. I was proud of myself! Not even a half of the average werewolf population gets to meet their soulmate once in their lives!

I was lucky, it was like, one in a whatever-number-of-people-there-are-in-Earth!

“Waitwaitwait, not gettin’ it. So, you and Leslie… or is it another girl?”

“It’s a guy, his name is Nate” I mumbled out quickly. I wasn’t embarrassed, but at the same time, I felt like a chunk of ice just fell through my stomach. 

Silence.

“So… you’re gay now?” Brad said, giving me a thumbs up. “It’s alright, I don’t mind gay people”

I honestly couldn’t get how he got that assumption. “What? What makes you think that?”

“You’re with a guy, like dating and loving him and you even have a locket… I mean, that’s pretty gay. But it’s cool, it’s not that weird. Lots o’ people take some time to discover their sexuality and stuff— Uh… Cuz?”

I stared at him. Not staring, actually. I was glaring at him.

Brad gulped. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” While he did sound afraid, his face displayed a mix of nervousness and worry. I always laughed at him when he asked if he fucked up, like it was a regular thing for him to do but still needed other’s approval about it.

I just glared at him, making sure he knew I wasn’t happy. I walked forward and held my gaze into his, trying out my favorite part of being an alpha.

As I focused on him, his expression slowly started to relax, then vanish, as his pupils dilated.

“On your knees” I commanded, making sure he got it as an order, not a ‘humble request’.

His blank face didn’t move an inch, as he dropped to his knees and looked forward. His eyes, besides the pupils being dilated, looked glazed over as his irises changed from hazel to pure yellow. The beta color!

“Who’s your alpha?” I mocked him, as he blankly stared ahead.

“You are, sir. David Walker is my alpha” Brad droned. I ruffled his hair. He was a good beta. 

“And who do you have to be respectful towards?”

“My alpha, sir. Being respectful towards their alphas is the sign of a good beta, sir” Brad answered, in a matter of fact voice.

…I should probably explain what the heck is going on.

I’m an alpha. I’ve mentioned quite a few times already, but I never mentioned anything about other ranks.

You have omegas, who are wolves without a pack. They’re usually weaker than alphas and betas. Then there are the betas, werewolves already in a pack.

Omegas can survive quite well on their own, it’s not a requirement to have a pack. But if you want to get stronger… Getting an alpha is the best you can do.

That’s one of the reasons Pops is so proud of me. He and mom conceived an alpha in their first try! Nate usually nerds out about me sounding like a “Jerry Stud” whatever the fuck that is.

So, since I’m an alpha, both my older cousins are ‘my pack’ to call it some way. And you just got to see one of my favorite alpha skills.

Much like a soulmate bond, being a beta for an alpha makes them completely loyal to the alpha, which means… I have some degree of control over them. Not as much control as my love has over me, but still… It’s fun!

“So, won’t you apologize for calling me a fag— Uh… gay?” I’m still getting used to not using that word. Everything for my Nate. Can’t be a bully anymore, right?

I didn’t have to ask twice. Brad seemed to struggle a bit against it, but after a few seconds he said “I apologize, sir. I didn’t intend disrespecting you like that…” It was a cold, empty apology. But it did the trick. I’m not a picky guy, he’s my cuz after all.

But that did make me wary. Should I tell Nate to not come after all, at least until these guys leave? Fuck, they were going to ruin my evening with my soulmate.

“Uh… what do you think about my soulmate being a guy?” I walked in front of him, back and forth. I was trying to think what would be the wisest decision here. A second opinion would be useful.

“I personally don’t care, sir. You can love whoever you want, especially if you met your second half.” My cousin answered.

“I mean, yeah. But what would Uncle Thomas and Logan say if they found out about it?” I should uh… ‘wake him up’ or whatever already. But I liked him this way. You can say I’m a dominant guy. Not saying I lust over my cuz, that would be incest, but ordering him around is fun.

“I don’t really know. He’s your soulmate, they shouldn’t say anything. Logan is a fellow beta though, it wouldn’t be wise to fear anything from him. He’s as loyal to you as I am, my alpha.” Not going to lie, I loved hearing that.

Being in control of the situation, having everyone in my surroundings looking forward to being with me, or do as I say out of fear/respect/whatever… That’s why I loved the not-studying-part of school!

As a little reward for his opinion, I did what Nate would have done to me if I did particularly good: Scratch the back of his ear. Brad’s head got some emotion again, as he got closer to my hand and started panting with his tongue out.

“There, there. Good beta cuz” I mumbled, as I machinated a plan in my head. I had an idea, but it would be a bit… not ideal. I stopped scratching the good spot, and his expression blanked out again. I crouched in front of him, and looked straight into his eyes. “I want you to listen very clearly to me, understood? Listen and do as your alpha says…”

If Brad wasn’t in ‘beta mode’ before, then he definitely was now. His irises were still a bright yellow, but his pupils were even smaller now. “I’d do anything for my alpha, sir” placing a hand on his chest. I knew what that symbolized, I used that expression with Nate before. It freaked him out a little.

“Y’know, my soulmate is kinda a big deal for me so… I want you to treat him like a king, alright? No mean or cocky comments, just be nice to him and I’ll be nice to you, got it?” I had to search for the words to say this, it wasn’t really a piece of cake as I expected. “Think of him as an extension of your alpha. Make him feel good and do what he says, and you’ll be good to go.”

He frowned a bit, but his face quickly eased up. “As you command, my alpha. Your soulmate’s wellbeing will be my top priority, sir.”

Yeah, that’s more like it. “Get up now.” I said and just… walked away from him. I wasn’t interested in bossing him around anymore, not for now at least. But actually…

“Lift your shirt.” One last command wouldn’t hurt, and he obeyed without a question, like a good beta. I walked towards him and gave him a little punch on his abs. Didn’t even flinch, he was keeping up with me! Of course, I wanted the best for my pack! “And… Beta out.”

My cousin snapped out of whatever that was, his yellow irises returning to a nice hazel, as his pupils got back to normal. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and smiled. “Huh, 5 minutes. Wonder what you did there” The guy said, smiling at me.

He couldn’t get mad at me. I was his alpha! I mean, he could… but there wasn’t much he could do about it!

“Meh, you don’t really care, do you?” I said, trying to sound uninterested.

Brad shook his head. “Nah, I really don’t. I really trust ya, cuz. Best alpha around!” Couldn’t tell if he was following the ‘you don’t really care’ thing, or if he was being honest, but I didn’t really care.

“That’s a good beta” I mumbled, going closer to him again to scratch the back of his ear. God bless Nate and discovering that hidden pleasure for me. I loved when he did that to me, as I mentioned, and I loved doing it to other wolves, too!

“What are you two ladies doin’ up here- What the hell are you two doing?” Logan entered the room. My other older cousin, although younger than Brad. Rather than being as muscular as we were, he was more chilled. Yeah, he was in good shape, but he didn’t look like a big gym bro like us.

This was probably due to him preferring Soccer rather than football or rugby. Each to their own, but soccer isn’t that fun to begin with? I tried to not give it much thought and respect his hobbies.

“Brad, close the door and put on some music.” I ordered him, walking over to Logan and wrapping an arm around his small soccer player’s shoulders. “You just made my whole evening way easier, lil’ cuz”

I wondered if Nate would like this. I’d have to send him a message telling him that I wouldn’t be able to pick him up… That felt bad, but at least these guys wouldn’t bother him tonight!

-------

Nate’s POV

Dave invited me to his house, but asked me to walk over. He told me we could have a family dinner, which was alright. I liked his family. Mr. Walker was funny and Ms. Walker was really nice to us. We just had one family dinner and Dave spent most of his time zoned out.

And also, there was a full moon, which I didn’t get to see.

Was I glad they considered me ‘family’? It pushed me out of my freaking mind when Dave sent me that text.

I was walking slowly. Not like a snail and doing baby steps, but I felt like I should slow down as much as I could and… be fashionably late? It was a good walk, from my house to his. But I didn’t mind.

The town was quiet, not much stuff happening as I walked out of my house, and on the way to Dave’s neighborhood.

I thought about buying some ice cream or some nice dessert to make a good impression this time, but hey, I don’t really think they’ll care about it that much. They highly prefer meat, as far as I know.

Stopping in the middle of the way, I grabbed my phone and checked my maps app. “Should have arrived 10 minutes ago… fuck, that shortcut would have been really useful…” I mumbled to myself, changing my route and getting back on the way.

I was nervous at fuck, that maybe explained my silliness. And I also never walked to this part of town. It wasn’t… bad, but it was a bit more private than the usual neighborhoods, which fits Dave’s family pretty well due to them being werewolves, and stuff like that.

I still had some time to cancel and be like “Oh, hey. My… hamster pet is sick and I want to look after him?” I kind of sucked at making up excuses, that's why I never wanted to be late on homework due to laziness.

It was late now, just another block and...

I reached Dave’s house. It was weird arriving here on my own. Guess I really got used to my soulmate acting as my personal driver.  

The rooms inside were on, Dave’s car and his dad’s were outside the garage. The closer I got to the front door, the louder I would hear laughter coming from inside. Were they having  visits? It didn’t sound like Dave’s laugh. His laugh was… deep and dumb-sounding.

I stopped now. What if they had visits? What if Dave didn’t tell them I was coming? I was shaking a bit, before taking a deep breath. 

Taking my final steps to be in front of the main door, I knocked and waited for someone. Loud footsteps later, Adam Walker (Dave’s dad) opened the door.

“Hey bud. Didn’t know you were coming, but uh…” He motioned inside with his head. “Come in, the big guy is in his room with his cousins. We’re having a family dinner”

“Thanks, mr. Walker-” But he stopped me as I set a foot on the door. The older man leaned in and started whispering.

“Don’t be afraid. If you don’t want to be picked on tonight, try your best to not sweat as you did the last time. Dave will probably have you covered, though.” He patted my back, and moved aside to let me in. After that, he closed the door behind me. “Dinner will be ready in a bit so… feel free to go mingle with the guys upstairs.”

Uh… that wouldn’t be needed, apparently. Dave and a pair of guys were coming downstairs, and as soon as my puppy boy saw me, he rushed towards me to give me a big tight hug. “Missed you a lot, bruh! Didn’t know there was going to be more family tonight so… I’m really sorry for that. But I’m sure we’ll have a good time!”

The other two guys just stared at me, arms folded. One of them was big, and buffed. He had an absent smile, a bit creepy but also inviting. The other was smaller than him (And Dave, for that matter).

“Uh… since your uncle is here, these are…”

“Cousins, yuh” Dave finished the sentence. I made the connection on my own, but it was good to get some confirmation. “Big one’s Brad, small one’s Logan.”

“Hey, I’m not small!” Logan complained, trying to punch Dave’s arm. He didn't seem to do much damage though.

“Yeah, and I’m a bottom, heh” My werewolf jock replied, obviously mocking his cousin. I noticed Brad chuckling, and I couldn’t help but find that funny though. I always wondered if Dave would like to bottom at least once. I feel like he’d be alright if I asked him for it, due to me having full control and all that...

After the introduction was over, and both guys shook my hand, my focus shifted again to who I wanted to be with: Puppy boy was looking at me too.

“I can’t find the words to tell you how glad I am to see you here, though” Dave said, before pulling me in for a good make out session. In the middle of the living room. He was feeling happy or romantic, I assumed? I was surprised his cousins didn’t react at all, and just looked like they were watching some kind of movie.

“Wait, what the heck?” Oh geez.

A man blasted in the living room, and tried to separate me from Dave. The puppy boy reacted quickly though, and pushed him away. “What the fuck, old man?! This is my soulmate!”

Before the guy could go back at us, Dave’s dad popped in to save the day! “You guys just had to hold on for a bit until dinner was ready!” I felt like the ‘complaint’ was more directed towards who-I-thought-was Dave’s uncle, and Dave himself.

The puppy boy seemed a bit angry, he got in front of me and made sure I was out of view. It was a cute touch. I noticed the other two guys taking a step towards us too, like siding with Dave in this.

“Just, calm down, all of you, and start setting the table. Try to not take your eyes out while you do, alright?!” Mr. Walker surely knew how to take care of these situations. Was this a normal thing?

After a long stare, both guys nodded, and we all scrambled.

-----

I was sitting next to Dave and that other guy, Brad. Across me, Mr. Walker looked around with a calm expression, as he chewed on his meat piece. Thomas, Dave’s uncle, wasn’t exactly subtle when it came to me. His eyes were like daggers, fixated on me as I nervously stared at my plate.

It was amazing, and terrifying. The resemblance and also differences between both werewolves were quite noticeable. Mr. Walker was probably calm because he already knew about my thing with Dave. The cousins seemed to be quite attentive towards my every movement and sound. I felt like their eyes would automatically fixate on me at any little sound I would make, which was killing me inside. (Were they glowing yellow? Maybe it was my head playing tricks…)

Was I doing something wrong or offensive? I should excuse myself from the table.

“So…” Uncle Thomas started, before biting a big chunk of beef and gulping it down quickly. “Uh… soulmates, that’s neat. How did you two meet each other?”

‘First family dinner all over again…’ I thought to myself, as I tried to find the words for my answer.

“School, I was just walkin’ around and smelled him. Knew he was the one so… tried my best, huhuh.” Dave saved my ass, although his story was different this time. We lied during the first dinner. I couldn’t remember the excuse anymore, and that’s what bothers me about lies.

They’re usually hard to remember. That’s also the reason I’m a bad liar, my memory is awful.

“Yeah, that’s how it usually happens. You just walk around and get the smell, all the soulmate stories start exactly like that, ain’t that right?” Dave’s uncle looked at his brother next to him, who gave him a really angry looking frown.

“Go fuck yourself, got’cha?” I understood that reaction, The man lost his soulmate, I guess the memories were still painful? I’m no psychologist to tell.

“Yeah, sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned that… So uh… back to you, kiddo.” Oh, fuck. Dinner was nice, the meat was delicious! But Dave’s uncle didn’t seem to be… really fond of me. I was glad to see (Not really, now I sound like a dick) that he was bothering Mr. Walker too, so it’s nice to see that the consensus was… Dave’s uncle was a loud mouth ass. “You don't seem to have big muscles, but that's pretty much a given when you're a human."

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, looking up at him. I tried to sound nice and not afraid, like Mr. Walker suggested before but… it was hard. “Not really good at sports and stuff like that, I guess-”

“Can see that. At least you’re a valedictorian, right?” I shook my head. High grades weren't my top priority. I did well at school, but didn’t focus enough for high grades to be a given. “No? That’s too bad.”

“Tom…” His brother tried to calm him. I noticed Dave needed some calm too. The big guy was clenching his fist with a lot of strength, as he held his knife with the other hand. He didn’t seem eager to cut the meat though, so I decided to step in for him.

I grabbed his fist beneath the table, feeling as it relaxed the longer I touched him. At the end, he grabbed my hand too, and I noticed his expression relaxed as well.

“Dad, don’t be such a dick. The guy’s fine, cut it out.” One of Dave’s cousins, big guy, uh… Brad! He seemed to be standing up for me, for some reason. He angrily stared at Dave’s uncle, without an apparent reason.

Uh… I felt like I was missing a big chunk of information here.

The uncle just stared back at his son, a bit surprised by his reaction. But before he could answer, or even react at all, Dave’s dad spoke up. “Well, it’s been fun, a neat reminder of why we never have family reunions, heh.”

“Ow, c’mon. It’s just a big friendly talk between men and…” He looked at me, seemingly ready to strike another insult. I grabbed Dave’s hand tighter.

But Dave’s dad didn’t give him the chance. “Dinner’s over. You guys will be going upstairs.”

“Roger that” I mumbled, leaving my plate with still a good chunk of meat. I didn’t let go of Dave’s hand, but he followed right after me.

“But I wanted a bit more beef...” The other cousin said. Logan, if I remember correctly. He was small, rather than muscled and big. I related to him because of that, glad to see not all male werewolves are big muscular people.

“Take the plate” Brad whispered to him, before following us upstairs.

“Okay, what’s going on-” I started to say, but my boyfriend shushed me.

“I’ll tell you all about it upstairs, just follow me and don’t make loud noises. Remember that they can hear everything in here” Dave interrupted me, as we went to his room. ‘Great, now my werewolf seems to be part of a mafia’.

-----

Locking the door behind us and his cousins, Dave ordered his cousins to stand aside, and they obeyed right away. “I’ll put some music here and…” His phone started playing some loud rock, but not loud enough to make the place feel annoying. “There, we can talk now.”

“Whaaat’s going on? And just tell me already, it feels quite bad to be insulted for no reason.”

“You weren’t really being insulted, bruh. I was.” Dave explained, motioning for me to go closer before leading me to his bed. “Uncle has… a bit of a problem, like pops has. But while pops knows when to shut his mouth, my uncle doesn’t, huh.”

“I don’t really see the insulting part there but continue…” I pointed out, but Dave just chuckled. Which seemed to cause a chain reaction and the werewolves guarding the door in front of us chuckled too.

“Sorry, yeah. Uh, well… My uncle is just bitter because my dad got an alpha son on his first try, me of course” I could figure that out on my own. The ‘I’m an alpha’ part I mean, he says it all the time. “Brad and Logan here are my betas. They were born as omegas, yeah, but I got them in my pack by willing choice because betas are usually stronger than omegas.”

The cousins were on the other side of the room. The small one, Logan, was tasting his meal with delight, while Brad leaned in to… hear our chat? They looked directly at Dave as soon as he mentioned them, before each one of them saying a “Hey” “‘Sup?”

“Why are they so… attentive?” Nosy mode on. I wanted to get answers, mostly because my curiosity was triggered now. ‘Obedient’ would have fitted better than ‘attentive’ though.

“Asked them to take care of you for the night, because I wasn’t sure if It would look good for me to do it. Pops is usually really fond of my uncle, but I think he didn’t like seeing him insulting my soulmate to get to me, bruh” Dave then put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. “I can put them back to normal if you want me to, but… they don’t really mind, so why bother?”

Uhm… I risk myself sounding like a dick right now, but I found the idea of the two cousins under Dave’s control quite arousing… I’m not going to say it to him, of course! I didn’t want him to feel bad or anything if he saw his soulmate interested in other guys…

“Where are they going to sleep, by the way? Or are they leaving after a bit?” It was after dinner already so… it wasn’t a bad thing to ask. Like, we had school tomorrow...

“Living room, sofa. One of them, at least. I’ve got a sleeping bag, because they both can’t fit on the sofa, so while the guest room is occupied by my uncle and… yeah, I’ll go get that old thing. Gimme a sec.”

Dave got up from the bed and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone as the two cousins stared at me.

“Hope the meat is still good…” I told Logan, trying to sound nice. I felt a bit bad, Dave made them look after me, and that made them ‘defend’ me against their father. Yeah, I definitely feel bad now. “Sorry for crashing into the dinner.”

“You kiddin’? You seem like a cool guy, dad was just being an ass. It’s okay though, I think he likes you” Brad answered, and I feel like he’s the one “kiddin’” here. “He’s just… We don’t like family dinners, we do them out of courtesy. Nothing personal, dad can be naturally obnoxious sometimes”

I wanted to say sorry again or something like that, but that’s when Dave bursted in with the sleeping bag. “Y’guys play rock paper scissors to decide who’ll sleep with the alpha… Like, beside me, don’t get weird ideas.”

I chuckled, as Dave threw the sleeping bag next to the cousins, and started taking off his shirt as he walked towards me. “You’re sleeping over, right? It’s still early, but I can make up for the bad time by cuddling, if you’d like.”

To be honest, it felt like a good idea to distract me from that… failed family dinner night. Never again I’ll ‘crash’ into a Walker dinner (Even though Dave knew I was coming over). Too many surprises for a lifetime, thank you.

I laid down, rolled over to leave him room. We wouldn’t be sleeping yet, I hoped. The big guy laid down beside me and quickly pulled me in.

“Fuck…” 

“Yeah!” We turned towards the other guys and noticed Brad had won the rock paper scissors game. Logan just seemed defeated, he grabbed his empty plate and looked over at us.

“Well, g’night bros. Gonna be in the living room, I guess.”

“Buh-bye” Dave said, before turning around again and holding me in his arms. “Sorry again for all that before, bruh. Let's get some sleep, a’ight?”

Honestly, I think I didn't feel as offended as I should have. Best to just let things slide off, I guess. I decided to just nod, and doze off while hearing Brad setting up his sleeping bag. 

I didn’t pay him much mind, though. My puppy boy's hug felt nice enough to help me relax quite quickly...

--------------------

Author’s note:

Took me long enough. But chapter 16 went up already, so gotta keep up with the content.

Chapter 16 is available in my Patreon, but it will go up as soon as I publish Chapter 17 there. Shouldn’t be long, I feel very inspired lately! (Hopefully it won’t take as long as this one did 😅).

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it <3.

#nate and dave #werewolf #mind control #brainwash #gay hypnosis #straight to gay #hypnotized #brainwashing

[introverted-sugar]

Ugh 😑

Heads up, this is a minor rant! Proceed with caution.

I feel like such a shit friend for what I’m about to express but I have to get this off of my chest because I have no one else to complain to. Also, I know I’m a great friend but I’m very particular about how I do things and I need to be at peace when I’m somewhere

So, my birthday is in a few days and I’m going to Miami/islamorada/key west for 10 days. I’ll be in Miami for 4 days with my girl best friend, and then “Travel daddy” the remainder of the trip.

So me and my best friend are similar in the sense of us being laid back and chill, we don’t do too much, when we go out we’re not twerking on table tops or fighting or any of that ratchet bullshit (now don’t get me wrong, you put the right song on and I’ll shake these cheeks but i just don’t like that type of attention, I sucked as a stripper 😂) But we are also VERY different. I like to try new things, eat at kind of fancy restaurants (if I’m paying, VERY fancy on a “mans” dime 💁🏽‍♀️) , I don’t like to go to clubs and if I do I’m definitely leaving early, lounge by the beach/pool, swim, snorkel, bike ride etc. So I’ve been trying to plan stuff for us to do but it’s hard because I have to take her into consideration (I’m used to traveling alone or with some man that’s trying to please me so I’m usually able to just do what I want )

Here is a list of grievances & concerns I have thus far:

1: She doesn’t really like sushi. Yes, that’s petty but I have dinner reservations the night of my birthday at a sushi place with a tasting menu. She said she was okay with going but eh idk, and then is she going to be cool with the price tag of the tasting menu? Any tasting I’ve ever done all the people at the table had to do the tasting menu

2: Piggy backing off of the first point, her sister is flying in the same day we are to help her friend that’s getting a BBL down there (😑, I’ll explain why I’m not a fan of her sister later) but we arrive at like 12, she’ll be arriving around 8 pm..the time I made reservations at the sushi spot. So earlier we were on the phone and she said “oh yeah such and such gets there around 8 I told her WE would come pick her up from the airport” Pause! WHO? Not I! I said “that’s the time our reservations are for” she was like “oh well she can just meet us there” 🤦🏽‍♀️ now remember I said I don’t do too much, I’m quiet and reserved. Her sister, not so much. She’s not about to embarrass me and she’s DEF not chilling at the hotel with her loud ass. My thing is, how tf you inviting people to MY birthday dinner. I honestly don’t wanna see her sister at all while we’re there, but I’m willing to meet her somewhere for an hour or so and then leave ✌🏽

(I don’t like her sister because the very first time I met her a couple years ago on NYE she basically got us involved in a literal BRAWL at a HOUSE PARTY in the heart of west philly of all places 😑 long story short the whole party beat her sisters ass for walking in and tAlking shit, and then Her sister stole someones whole car at the party, I guess when they were jumping her someone’s keys fell out of their pocket so she took the keys and figures out which car it belonged to and stole it, like it was just a ghetto ass mess)

3: She keeps asking me the same questions over and over. We have had this trip booked for MONTHS, literally, I like to be organized and plan shit out, but every week or so it’s “so where are we staying again” “how much is it” “do you think my hair will last if I get a frontal” to which I replied BITCH NEVER, just get braids or locs, of course she just got a sewin/frontal earlier…okay but I warned you sis😖. now mind you this will be her first time in Miami so she wasn’t really trying to pay the price (half) for the hotel I booked. I’ve been to Miami plenty of times on top of actually living there and there’s no better deal we’re going to get on south beach, with all the amenities that the hotel offers, I’m very good at planning and booking trips and finding the best deals so I was highly irritated when just a week before our trip shes tryna find cheaper places. I told her she can look but it needs to at least •be in south beach •be on collins/ocean drive and •have a pool (unless she could find an Airbnb). Y’all she sent me all these bullshit ass links to places in HOLLYWOOD (which I actually love but I said south beach…), Miami Gardens 🤮, and ft. Lauderdale and they didn’t have any amenities and were MORE money. In my head I was like “bruh nevermind we’re staying where we’re staying, you don’t need to do ANYMORE looking” 🙅🏽‍♀️

4: she doesn’t like the water or swimming. That’s the main reason I even go to Florida so often for the water, like literally. I’m not a fan of most beaches up north (Giants neck beach In CT Is awesome though, Maine has some nice ones too but it’s just so cold even on a very hot summer day, jersey has a few as well but mainly I like clear waters) So anyway, I wanted to book this snorkel/boat tour/key west tour but she doesn’t want to do it because 1: she doesn’t wanna snorkel but 2: we would have to leave at 6:30 am and she doesn’t get up until like 12 🙄 I feel like I’m limited as to what I can do

5: She still hasn’t sent me her half of the hotel fee and we leave Tuesday…it’s Saturday. She’s been saying “imma send it tomorrow” for like 2 weeks now and telling me about her car troubles

6: As I mentioned she wakes up late, which means she goes to bed late. The latest I go to bed is like 12 but when I’m on “vacation” I tend to drink more than I normally would so I go to sleep early. Shit when me and travel daddy went to all those vineyards I legit took naps mid day to keep up 😂 I’m worried she’s gonna keep me up like she did last month when I spent the night at her house, I was HIGHLY irritated and it was only one night

I’m seriously pondering why tf I thought this was a good idea. Lowkey I didn’t think it was a good idea but we’ve never traveled together and she’s never been to Miami (she’s the reason we’re even going to Miami because I’ve BEEN over Miami, it’s packed and overrated but I thought it would be a cute thing for us to do)

It doesn’t matter how cool you are with someone you have to have the right travel buddy and just because you get along doesn’t mean you should travel together. Sadly, I can already tell you this is our last trip together

The irony is I was sooo hesitant and complaining about going on the WPB trip but ended up having a blast, but we also had a huge villa and everyone had privacy, and I only personally knew one person so at first I didn’t feel super obligated to be all chummy with his friends, but I loved all of them they were so much fun and liked to do the stuff I like to do, it really was such a bomb trip I wish I could show you guys all the cute pics and videos we took, REALLY great vibes

I love my best friend to death but I’m so apprehensive about this trip. We don’t even chill that often on the regular, mainly because we’re both just busy or live kind of far from eachother but I’m that friend that loves you…from afar, every now and then she’ll drag me out to some lounge and I’m always ready to go early it’s just not my scene, I wanna be in bed damnit! 😩

Am I just being a brat? What do you guys think?

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

#dc comics x reader #dc comics headcanons #jason todd x reader #jason todd fluff #jason todd headcanon #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson headcanon #tim drake x reader #tim drake headcanon #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne headcanon #batboys x reader #batboys headcanons

[jamdoingmath]

In which we struggle

Week 1

(In which I admit I am doing this a bit late) 

What surprised you today? My inability to do math???? I forgot how to do everything but relearning was a fun process. (bruh he forgor).

What’s the most Important thing you learned today? how to do math In math, had to relearn a lot of fundamentals that I wasn’t aware I had lost,,, so definitely that. Passing with a decent grade was also surprising.

What do you want to learn more about? Yes. I want to try and learn more and understand math stuff :( but it do be hard.

When were you most creative today? When I was drawing after taking 3 hours to answer the quiz. As much as I struggled with the quiz I feel proud of myself for finding methods and solutions through some creative means,,, which I very much unfortunately cannot prove because I unfortunately threw everything away after finishing the quiz, sorry. :< Here’s a drawing of a cat instead

When were you at your best today? When I took a nap after finishing the quiz

Where should you start tomorrow? at the start??? I do not understand this question very much

What can you do with what you know? Not much that’s for sure ahaha :’D I do not know very much if im going to be honest

I rate this week overall a 7/10 qwq

#do math not m3th #jamdoesmath #struggle #yes this is for school #sorryimnotgoodatbloggingnormathittookmethreehourstoanswerthefirstquiz

[inkribbon796]

The Marvelous Misadventures of One: S. Marvin Argentum Ch. 4: Unsettled

Summary: Marvin and his team go to take on the hunters, and to hopefully get back to Egoton in time.

Post A/N: *Host glares at me* Why is he back so early?

Me: *throws hands up* I tried! Okay!

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

It took a couple days for them to get all the supplies they needed, Techno insisting that a war could not be won without supplies. But when they did and Ghostbur was hanging at some hideout with Techno’s sister, they went up to the hunter’s base and waited a safe distance away from it. Philza sent a couple of his crow familiars to scout ahead.

Marvin dared to hope that it wouldn’t come to anything too severe, like wiping out the entire Guild. He didn’t think they deserved that. After all, everyone on Spade’s list of “people willing to burn an entire city of innocent people” were already dead so he hoped that meant everyone else was fine.

Although he didn’t like the idea of justifying a barely human glitch demon’s murder spree. Especially if that person was an evil Logan.

“So if Plan A an’[1] B don’t work,” Marvin told Techno and Quackity.

“Trust me, these assholes are going to go with the third option,” Quackity smiled, tossing Marvin a potion and the underhanded a second one. “They’re hunters, being dumb and violent is in their blood. I’ve never met a hunter that hasn’t been like Dream.”

“I’ve met a couple of decent ones, Dream’s not so bad,” Techno disagreed.

“Are you fuckin’ serious right now?” Quackity demanded angrily.

“Oi![2] Quit being children, yer[3] gonna[4] give us away!” Phil yelled at them. He glanced at Taylor and Marvin. “Get goin’ an’ we’ll be waitin’ fer the signal.”[5]

“Thank you,” the hunter told him.

“Just don’t blame yerself[6] when it ends violently,” Phil warned, both him and Techno down some invisibility potions and then disappearing.

Marvin and Taylor then walked up to the base and a couple hunters were already waiting for them.

“Bout[7] time you showed back up,” one of the hunters said, the Guildmaster quickly coming out.

“Guildmaster, I challenge you—” Taylor began but the Guildmaster just fired at them. Marvin immediately summoned his cards to deflect the shot but Techno dived in front with a massive tower shield appearing to tank the hit.

A cloud of black began to head towards them as the squawking of hundreds of crowds began to descend on them.

Techno pulled some ash-greyed skulls and his blood red aura curled around them and bones began to construct around them. The human skeletal figures had three heads a piece and gore hanging off the bones, they were just a spinal column with massive rib cages and they were three times the size of a normal human. Instantly they began spitting napalm-like fire and began attacking everything around him. Some of the bursts of fire almost hit Marvin.

Chaos erupted immediately, and Techno flung himself into the fray, his axe gleaming in the sunlight.

“Fucking demons!” Taylor shouted in anger as they raced towards the Guildmaster, both them and Marvin throwing magic at the Guildmaster.

The fight itself was relatively quick, Taylor trying to get a duel with the Guildmaster, and more and more hunters were quickly turning to side with Taylor for multiple reasons. But right before Taylor could fire on the Guildmaster, who was weakened by all the fights and skirmishes she’d been in since May, a single poker chip flew towards her.

It was coated with potent magic and sliced through her skull. The smiley face on it was coated with blood.

The fight switched on a dime as all the hunters looked at Quackity. The skeletal abomination that Techno had summoned was finally killed, bodies strewn around him. Phil was summoning some little configurations of magic to keep Techno fighting something until his bloodlust calmed down.

“What the hell!?” Taylor shouted at Quackity.

Quackity shrugged, “Hey, she was going to kill you, you should be thanking me.”

“She was defeated,” Taylor spat.

“Apparently not if she almost took your fucking head off,” Quackity dismissed.

“I should take your head off,” Taylor spat.

“Quackity, take Slime an’[1] Fundy an’[1] go,” Phil ordered sternly.

“Fine,” Quackity shrugged. “Got shit ta[8] do anyways.”

Taylor was already summoning up magic and Slime turned into a mass of green gloop that Quackity took with him, throwing down some potions to make him and Fundy faster as they left.

Taylor sent some hunters after them, but they would lose them. Quackity too ruthless to let them take or capture him or Fundy. The new Guildmaster turned to Marvin. “We’ll meet you at Egoton, I just have to take care of this mess first.”

“Deal, don’t be late,” Marvin ordered.

“We’ll follow, maybe we can keep the feds off the party,” Taylor promised him.

“I’ll tell e’eryone ta expect yah then,”[9] Marvin warned.

“Good,” Taylor yelled as they raced off after Quackity.

That left Marvin to tell Chase the good news to the other heroes . . . or he would have. His calls and messages weren’t getting through to anyone, even if he used Phil’s phone. It made Marvin uneasy.

So they were forced to hitch a ride in Thompson’s jeep when they had issues getting a train ride. It let Marvin talk to the two very battle experienced demons and desperately hope they weren’t already too late. They were running out of time. There were only four days left and Marvin knew they needed all the time they could get.

Marvin was currently driving with Techno and Ghostbur currently napping in the back of the car. Ghostbur was leaning up against Techno.

“Like I said,” Philza smiled. “If yer[3] ever in the area when we are, yer[3] welcome ta[8] a couple rounds.”

“Ain’t[10] that a death pit?” Marvin asked.

“Yeah, maybe yeh wanna wait until yer one ‘a us,”[11] Philza smiled. “Yeh look like yer one life away from turnin’.”[12]

“I hope I die then, doesn’t seem that good ta[8] be a demon,” Marvin told him.

“Sometimes it sucks,” Phil admitted. “Yer never full, never content. Yeh always feel like yeh should be doin’ something. But it has its perks sometimes.”[13]

The avian demon looked back at Ghostbur and Techno, smiling a bit. “How’s Tommy doin’[14] these days?”

“He was alright last time I saw him,” Marvin reported. “He’s a good kid.”

Phil smiled, “Yeah he’s a lil’[15] shit but he’s got his moments. Glad him an’[1] Tubbo are back on good terms.”

“So what happened ta[8] him ta[8] make him move out?” Marvin asked. “If I’m allowed ta[8] ask.”

“Tommy was in a rough place an’ he need ta get away from Dream, he lived with Techno fer a while an’ then,”[16] Phil trailed off, waving off with his hand. “Tommy needs ta[8] stay away from Dream. It’s not my business ta[8] talk about something he doesn’t wanna[17] talk about. Ask Tommy.”

Marvin left the topic at that and after switching off between Phil and then Techno they made it back to Egoton in almost record time.

After a nap in a very uncomfortable car, Marvin realized a lot of hours too late that Host could have cut their travel time down to minutes and he was just a little bit pissed about that. But they were here, and everything was going to be alright.

Phil stopped at a gas station right outside Egoton’s city limits, after finally receiving a text from Ethan. The young hero was confused at the urgency, but he promised everything was alright. So Marvin was finally feeling less anxious and stressed.

“We got a couple days,” Marvin smiled, feeling victorious, a coffee in his hands. “We’ll prepare an’[1] then we’ll—”

Marvin’s proclamation cut off when he slammed into an almost invisible barrier, his mask protecting him from breaking his nose.

“The fook[18]?” Marvin spat.

Techno walked up and braced his hand on the barrier. “That’s not good.”

Then he took out an axe and tried to cut his way in but the barrier held.

“Bruh,” Techno looked back at Phil, who was already summoning some crows.

Ghostbur tried to phase through the barrier, but he only slammed against it. “What, why can’t I—”

“Pardon the Host, he thought that Marvin would take longer.”

Marvin glanced around, trying to find the Host, but the four of them were pushed back as the Host almost seemed to emerge from the barrier in a flurry of words.

“Host, what the fook[18],” Marvin spat, only frustrated instead of furiously angry.

“Oh, Host, can you let us in?” Ghost asked politely. “Are people already fighting?”

“No, Marvin and the others are early,” the Host dismissed.

“Then let us in,” Marvin felt an ugly weight settling in his gut.

“Oh Marvin,” the Host smiled. “The Host cannot have Marvin arrive too soon. All his hard work would go to waste.”

“Yeh[19] bastard!” Marvin spat. “We’re supposed ta[8] take this on ta’gether[20]!”

“No,” the Host corrected with an eerie smile. “The Host’s sole mission is to protect his family. Regardless of the goals of the other heroes or villains. The Host has put too much effort and correction to do anything less. Marvin should not worry, the Host will ensure he does not remember this altercation.”

“People are gonna[4] die!” Marvin spat, starting to throw his magic against the Host, his aura wiping it away as if Marvin had merely sneezed at him.

“Marvin does not know what the Host has sacrificed to protect people, he has done everything in his power to protect those close to him,” the Host’s aura wiped around him, words and narrations charging the air. “And the Host will not allow Marvin to ruin it.”

The Host snapped his fingers and his narrations wrapped around the group as Marvin and the others were almost pushed into another space as time began to tick on.

After all, the Host had a wedding to prepare for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. and

2. Hey! (or: Wait a second!)

3. you’re

4. going to

5. Get going and we’ll be waiting for the signal.

6. yourself

7. About

8. to

9. I’ll tell everyone to expect you then

10. Isn’t

11. Yeah, maybe you want to wait until you’re one of us

12. You look like you’re one life away from turning.

13. You’re never full, never content. You always feel like you should be doing something. But it has its perks sometimes.

14. doing

15. little

16. Tommy was in a rough place and he need to get away from Dream, he lived with Techno for a while and then

17. want to

18. fuck

19. You

20. together

#superhero au #masks and maladies #Dream smp #tales of the smp #footnotes #marvin the magnificent #technoblade #ghostbur #philza #quackity #Fundy #slime dsmp #the Host #magic #Quackity causes problems on purpose #murder #manipulation #Marvin's never ending trust issues

[estelle-lee]

realization. - 11th August, 2023

uaeuehhhhhh good morning?

lmao it's 11:41 am. i woke up at 9:43 am sharp. spent one hour freshing up, cleaning and organizing and finally breakfast.

then i sat down to study and i just finished physics chap 2 mcqs, it took me 54 mins. it would take me WAY less time if i didn't have to do calculations in every fucking mcq lol.

anyways, it's still a reasonable amount of time even though i got distracted once in a while. i'll try more to not get distracted. i think my attention span is increasing more and more even with adhd, that's like a GREAT progress ^-^

tbh what was distracting me was bangchan's part in the super bowl mv lol. the first part so funny but addicting. reminds me of gordon ramsey's idiot sandwich meme 💀

i'll start physics chapter 3 mcqs now and then move on to general math.

---

bruh… again it took me 50 minutes to complete this chapter's mcqs cuz this one also had calculations in every fucking mcq… but i took less time this time, so it's a win-win hehe

finally i can start general math cqs lol, gotta finish it today at any cost!

---

i have a plan rn, i'm tired of doing physics' math for the past 2 hours, maybe i should switch up a bit rn and do the designs of my work today and write the blog post.

now that's a 2 in one benefit cuz if i do the this part of the work now then it would be a break for me AND it will take me EVEN LESS TIME to finish my work later.

lol i'm so smart that einstein feels embarrassed in front of me (～￣▽￣)～

leggo ヾ(≧▽≦*)/

---

eek! i did all work instead lol, now i'll just collect links after 7 pm, easy~

i'll fresh up now, have lunch, take a small nap (ok fr i'll take an actual small nap this time without that turning into 4 hours) and then start general, got a lot of time in my hand now hehe

---

fuck… we have over 000 pictures in google photos, now i have to transfer ALL OF THEM to a new account ugh… i've been doing this for the past hour, it's almost done… phew

maybe i can take a small nap after this…

FINALLY ಥ_ಥ

FINALLY i have backed up all photos into a new account, also did mine.

DAMN it was a fucking hard work. i deserve a nap now bro…

---

i didn't sleep but i took a break and relaxed, uplifted my mood and finished my work.

ngl i had the best laugh today in the past five years. this one video was so funny i saved in my google keep. i laughed loudly for 10 minutes non-stop. my belly is still hurting even after like one and half an hour lol.

i'm now listening some calming songs to wind down everything and start studying.

i feel so calm right now. i feel like everything happened till now happened for a reason.

like i had such a hard time finding work and earning money… knocking clients, working day and night, getting betrayed, faced a lot of scams, lost so much money and time… lost my grades too…

now look at me chilling with a job that only requires 2 hours a day and earning a solid income for my age. while my cousins who are like 15 years older than me are still studying… i'm here acing at my work…

i was so dirty minded and exploited back in class 9… i still feel disgusted recalling all the things i did back then… my grades went down… my mentality was low… my standards were low… the teachers hated me…ngl some of them still do.

but others have seen the good side of me, so they love me for my personality and talent… they unleash the best side of me, i love those teachers. i have been failing my classes since 9th grade after all that.

but now- now i will shine. i will shine brighter than the sun.

i am now prettier, stronger, better. and i will be smarter too. i'm studying hard to make an insane comeback. they will see the "me" that they have never seen before.

the people only knew me after covid because of how i had a glow up… only physically. they loved me for my physical beauty and chaotic exploited me back then…

i loved it too… i loved the attention i was getting for all the things i did… i felt like i was a "rebelious" girl… ew. i hate the past me. i hate what had gotten into me. i hate everything i did last year and i regret every.single.moment. of it.

but now i love myself. i have understood what self love is. i don't want attention anymore for things that aren't good, that aren't right.

i want to be the best version of me. classy, elegant, smart, pretty and beautiful. but i don't want to lose the chaos in me. i just want it combined with all the other good qualities :)

and i think i am getting closer and closer to my goal. i can do it. i'm gonna hit the goals like people hit the gym.e

everything really does happen for a reason.

if all the bad things didn't happen to me, i don't think i would be like this now…

i wouldn't try to improve, i wouldn't try to study, i wouldn't try to get the best grades, i wouldn't try to earn money and support my family. i wouldn't try to anything and live the most basic life possible.

but now i'm doing all of it. see? see me trying?

i'm gonna show all of you what a real glow up is. and i'll show you all how it looks like to be the best version of yourself. the version that everyone loves, the version I, MYSELF, love.

i'm going to show everyone…

i had to write all of this to lighten up my mind and to get the burden off cuz i don't have anyone other than myself to say all of these things to… i feel very light now.

i can finally focus on my studies again. i'll go study now <3

---

fuck it… 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the general math chapter 6 cqs. geometry is fucking big and hard. but for some reason it was very understandable for me today. i got things quickly and easily. i also solved a few on my own. i guess i AM smart, i just didn't try in the past 2 years lol. i used to be THE topper before, i guess obviously for this reason. lemme have dinner and continue with the other two chapters. i HAVE to finish this today.

---

lmao i just realized i only had to finish general math chapter 6 😃

nvm it's nice, that means i have finished all the cqs of general math and i can continue with higher math <3

---

ugh ok i'm fucking sleepy rn, i did 3 higher math cq and i'm tired… total of 40 minutes… which means i studied a total of 5 hours today… i expected more but this is not bad either… i must finish higher math all chapter cqs tomorrow.

also i had a lot of fun while having dinner and blasting music and singing and dancing along. that was a good break. now i need to sleep.

good night <3 best of luck for tomorrow!!!

#dear diary #regret #realization

[cranes-winter]

Just got the vaccine, been a couple minutes and arm's already sore... Taking it easy today

Editing to keep up with symptoms/feelings

Day 1

Injection

Soreness in arm as expected, only when I move the arm

Dehydrated feeling crept in slowly over course of an hour; definitely didn't stay hydrated enough leading up to this

Headache started up after 2 hours, took Tylenol

Body feels warm, in a I should drink more fluids this day is hot way though, not feverish, 4-5 hrs after

Took a nap, still dehydrated, drinking fluids to compensate.. eyes so dry bruh

Arm still sore 😔 hurting a little more, took Tylenol again, 11 hrs after

Feels kinda like pre head cold

Temp regulation sucks XP

Day 2

Slept so bad 😩 woke up feeling more like I had a head cold, took something for it

Arm soreness was also the worst since getting the shot

Basically me vs dehydration this whole time

Appetite all over the place, but generally in a 'not hungry but need to eat.? Oh I'm eating... Oh ok there's my appetite.. and it's gone but I still need to finish eating 😔' place

Sooooore

Coughing

My skin feels so sensitive 😩 in a painful way

Definitely having joint pain fml

My skin hurts 😩 it feels scrubbed raw wtf

Day 3

Skin hurt the whole damn day

Throat sore a little

Appetite still mostly gone, woke up hungry as soon as I got moving though, rest of day just gone until too close to oh shiti should've eaten

Joint pain and skin pain merged to have unholy offspring and torture me.. now 4am on technically day 4 and it's only just going down to ignorable...bruh

Day 4

Eh.. 6am so it counts

Arm soreness goin down finally yayy

Area still tender but I can move my arm more without triggering the hurt so I'll take it

Skin hurts still tho so that was a false alarm for like 2 hours that it was going down

Sniffles all day, and chills

Basically flu like symptoms kicking my butt

Congested😢

Arm soreness gone to pretty much normal by midnight ayyyy

Rest of skin sensitivity/pain is also down so hopefully by morning will be normal

Sniffling still, and coughing

Day 5

Congested

Trouble breathing through congestion

Chills

Feels like fever but apparently don't have one

Night time, just threw up 😔

Day 6

Suffering all day😩

Literally could not breathe, so congested

Pain when sneezing or coughing

Like legit freaked me out

Used nose spray

Passed out around midnight

Day 7

Woke up miraculously feeling way better

Feels like a head cold again tbh

Most other symptoms gone

Hoping it'll be gone by end of day

Read that second dose is worse for symptoms and honestly that freaks me tf out

Day 8

Same as yesterday

Apparently can only taste sweet things wtf

Sense of smell shot and I'm freaking out a little.. hoping it's just from my liberal use of the nose spray and not the panoramic finally come for me

Josh says he lost his taste for like a day but it came back so fingers crossed

Josh also didn't get half my side effects wtf

#vaccine #don't reblog

[bakugosbratx]

bruh I took an unscheduled nap for 3 hours 😭 now my sleep schedule is gonna be a train wreck 😭😭

Tsk tsk. Welcome to the club.

#saint may 👼 #I understand the struggle #I’m the queen of naps