#but I’m seeing all these posts about what scenes/details that people wished were in the movies and quite a few of them have to do with food

[inwhichiramble]

Idk if this is just me, but does it seem like the Hunger Games movies left out most of the stuff about food in general?

Maybe I just noticed this because in my first read I was worried that all of them were cannibals, but like… in the movies it seems like they were never actually that hungry. Like, we know that Katniss and Gale have to hunt, and that Peeta gave Katniss the bread, but a lot of the details about just how hungry they were to get to those choices were just… gone. And when they’re in the Capitol on the Victory Tour, they mention the vomit-inducer but it was more of an offhand thing. What got me especially though is that in Mockingjay Pt. 2, their time with Tigris appears to be much shorter, but also… she doesn’t feed them! And from what I remember that was fairly significant in the books, especially considering the position they were in.

In the books, hunger was the driving force of the vast majority of decisions they made. Katniss literally spent a good chunk of her first games desperately searching for water—Haymitch rewarded their performances with food—Katniss described every single thing she eats and primarily characterizes new places based on their food (the Capitol and District 13 especially). TBOSAS supports this even further when you see how even people in the Capitol were starving in the aftermath of the war—that’s why sponsors were added to the game!

I just—the whole series is literally about starvation and what it means to be human, but the movies just focused on love and war.

#don’t get me wrong #I did enjoy the movies #but I’m seeing all these posts about what scenes/details that people wished were in the movies and quite a few of them have to do with food #I understand that you can’t fit everything into movie adaptations #this isn’t meant to bash the movies #it was just interesting to me considering hunger is literally in the title #the hunger games #thg #hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #katniss everdeen #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

[saltpepperbeard]

Are you still feeling hopeful? I’m trying really hard not to feel demoralized these last few days…

Hi, darling anon! I totally understand where you’re coming from. We’ve been at it for weeks (almost THREE) and things have seemingly slowed down, there’s drama both in-fandom and out, and there’s just sort of an ever-creeping feeling of disheartenment. And on top of everything, it’s JANUARY (DEROGATORY).

But you know what? Despite all of that, despite it all, I am still clinging onto hope. Call me stubborn or whatever else lol, but yes, I’m still hopeful. I think I will be until I see Djenks wave some sort of white flag, or until a lot of time passes with no forward momentum. And even with the latter, I’ll probably still have the stubborn wish to get something like a movie or whatever else in the future.

Now, I’m clinging onto hope for a few reasons. One, and this is the most important one, we really don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes right now. I think that mentality can also swing into negative territory, but I’m using it to propel me into hopeful territory. We don’t know what all is being discussed, we don’t know if anyone’s interested, and we don’t know who all is fighting and how hard.

Again, could be twisted into a “nothing is happening” type view, but when I look at David? At Taika? And how much the show means to them? How passionately they’ve spoken out about it? And how gracious David and the rest of the cast/crew has been? Idk about you, but I’d like to think they’re trying to push for a continuation as hard as they can. *Stede voice* I don’t think…any of us have let go, actually.

Not to mention that the cast and crew have not stopped posting/interacting with renewal campaign efforts. David hasn’t told us anything that would allude to failed deals, and Ruibo still posts #SaveOFMD type things. It just feels like they’re still riding alongside of us.

Secondly, and sort of along those lines, I’m holding on to the knowledge that every renewal is different. There have been some giant campaigns with zero results, but there have also been smaller campaigns with success. There have been campaigns that have only landed a few more episodes, whereas there have been others that landed more seasons, a movie, etc etc.

Each case is unique, and really has to do with what’s going on behind the scenes. Why the show was cancelled in the first place, if the platform is willing to shop it out, if other platforms find it desirable/profitable, etc etc.

And I think along those lines also, there comes a mentality that makes people even more disheartened and sad. I think there’s this thought that if we’ve slowed down, if we’re not pushing enough, we won’t get renewed. And I don’t really think that’s the case; I don’t think renewal rests squarely on our shoulders like that. Because, again, I think a lot of it really has to do with money, and with negotiations between studios. I think we’re very good for visibility and noise, and subsequently, I think any sort of effort is great effort! I think any work that has been conducted is good work.

It’s also important to think about how we’re sort of in a transition stage of the campaign right now, too. Things are significantly different than they were just a week ago. There are campaign leadership changes going on, the focus is different, and new plans of attack are being ironed out.

So, we all just need to give ourselves some grace. We’ve done so much, and things have moved so fast, and the cast and crew have felt so loved. We’ve made it into publications, made it onto physical ads, and gotten the attention of outside entities (shoutout to Astroglide WJDJW). We’ve also all come together, which is VERY wonderful considering how divided things felt towards the end of October. We’re doing wonderful all things considered, and so for that reason among a few others, I’m still hopeful.

Also, there’s this post by @pehmokoira that goes into even MORE detail of why we shouldn’t throw in the towel/lose hope.

SO. TLDR, there is a lot weighing down on “the atmosphere of this ship,” but I still encourage you to keep those fingers crossed. Help maintain the momentum however works best for you. Take a break, take a step back, and take care. But keep that stubborn little fire burning if you can 💜🏴‍☠️

#Answered #Anons #OFMD #SaveOFMD #Renew as a crew #Adopt our crew

[misc-obeyme]

Hey i believe I have what you call a suggestion to write; MC who doesn’t tell anyone their birthday because they view their birthday as a bad omen because things always go wrong and ruin it.

If you don’t feel like writing for everyone with this scenario and how they find out I’d appreciate it if you could do Lucifer, Dia, and Simeon.

Again I’m not very sure if this is what you mean by suggestion for writing if it isn’t feel free to ignore this.

Hello there!

Okay, so I tried to briefly explain the "suggestion" thing in my rules, buuuut I don't think I did a very good job lol.

The idea was that I would be able to write little short things in between longer requests and the like. I was thinking along the lines of the sort of short scenes I did for the 500 followers prompt event. They're about 500 words and feature a single character. Because I can do those somewhat quickly, so I was thinking if people were okay with little short scenes like this instead of full headcanon posts, they could send me a suggestion while my regular requests were closed. I would be okay with doing two characters as well, but they would both be in the same scene as opposed to writing separate ones for them.

So I did an example with your suggestion! I wrote a little scene about Lucifer discovering MC's feelings about their birthday. This was the kind of thing I was going for with the suggestions. If you'd like little scenes for multiple characters or something more like headcanons, please feel free to send the idea again when my requests are open!

Thank you for the suggestion!

GN!MC x Lucifer

Warnings: none!

Lucifer was sitting at his desk, organizing his papers. There were so many piles and he had really let them get out of control. He was attempting to put things in some kind of chronological order and was amazed at how far back some of these things went.

That was when he stumbled upon the form that was all about you. The one that had caused him to choose you for the exchange program. It had all your details on it. Lucifer lingered over the page, remembering how it felt to read about you for the first time, surprised at how different he felt reading the same things now.

And then Lucifer saw your birthday and immediately put down the paper. Your birthday was in only a handful of days and you hadn't said a single thing about it.

As though summoned, you arrived in his doorway. It was late in the evening and you looked like you were about to go to bed. But first you had brought him some coffee. You walked quietly into the room, setting it on his desk and smiling at him before sitting down across from him.

"I thought you might want some coffee," you said.

Lucifer returned your smile, taking the mug and sipping at the hot liquid. The bitterness hit him and he chuckled. "Hell coffee?"

You blushed and looked away. "Maybe."

Lucifer shook his head fondly for a moment before becoming serious again. He picked up the paper he'd been holding before so you could see it.

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday was coming up?" he asked directly.

Lucifer watched as you paled and seeing it made his gut twist unhappily.

You shrugged and looked away from him. "It's just… it always goes wrong. It always gets ruined. So I kinda see it as a bad omen now. Not something to celebrate."

Lucifer frowned, tapping a finger on the side of his mug. "I understand if you don't wish to celebrate. However, I would still like to request that you give us a chance."

You looked over at him again, surprised and a little confused. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know how things are in the human world or what has caused you to feel this way," Lucifer said. "But I know my brothers would wish to celebrate with you."

You shifted in your seat uncertainly, clearly unwilling to say yes, but also reluctant to say no.

Lucifer put down his mug and met your eyes across the desk. "I would personally ensure that your birthday goes smoothly. Would you truly deny me the pleasure of seeing your smiling face?"

You blushed again. Lucifer knew his gaze was intense, but he needed you to fully understand just how much you meant to him. Your birthday should make you feel loved and wanted, not scared and uncertain. And he was prepared to be the one who made sure your feelings on it changed.

Lucifer was pleased when he saw your expression become resigned. You smiled and shook your head a little. "Well… I can't really say no to you."

Lucifer sat back, smiling with satisfaction.

True to his word, Lucifer spent the next several days planning for your birthday. He subtly figured out exactly what would make you happiest and when the day itself came, put all of that information into action. It turned out to be the best day you'd had in some time. And at the end of it, you spent a fair amount of extra time in Lucifer's arms.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #suggestion #misc writes

[radical-sky]

Shelter, part 1

don't you ever leave me alone, my war is over, be my shelter from the storm

One year post-Fallout, Ilsa joins the IMF, partnering with Ethan and his team. After their first mission goes catastrophically wrong, Ethan sacrifices himself in a desperate bid to save Ilsa's life. Believing he failed and she's dead, Ethan suffers the consequences of the unsuccessful mission. Five months later, the team - and Ilsa, get him out.

pairing: Ilsa/Ethan

wordcount: 4.1k

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, violence, graphic depictions/descriptions of torture and the aftermath, pregnancy, very minor mention of a suicide attempt.

AO3 (user restricted) here

ENDLESS thank you to the truly amazing @agentfaust for the most thorough, in depth, and detailed beta anyone has ever given me. You are phenomenal babe!!

Ilsa can’t remember the last time she was tempted to fidget, all nervous ticks trained out of her before she was even with MI6. The old habits have never been as tempting as they are now, standing in a cold and damp third-world prison waiting for Ethan to be brought out to her.

Well, not just her. The White Widow stands next to her, her brother not far away. He scowls at Ilsa, not happy to be here and not happy to risk his and his sister’s lives on a job for her. It’s nothing sanctioned (if any members of your team are caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions) but the moment Benji had finally, finally found Ethan the team had gotten things moving as quickly as possible. Luther and Benji worked their computers nearly 24 hours a day, and Ilsa called favors and made connections in country wherever she could. Even Brandt was helping, pulling strings and doing as much as he could legally behind the scenes while staying their inside man at the IMF.  

Luther or Benji (it doesn’t matter now because they both had been trying their damnedest to get it done) had hacked into the security system in the prison; cameras in every cell, interrogation room, the hallways. Not that any of them needed to see what they were doing to Ethan (in the two weeks since she first saw him on the grainy camera feed it’s all she sees when she closes her eyes, doesn’t need audio to hear his screams and the sounds they rip from his throat, or backdated footage to catalog what tool made each scar or bleeding wound on his body. Those pictures will be seared in her brain for all eternity. She wants and yearns and rages at the sacrifice he made for her, for them, and falls asleep with a screen playing live footage from his cell in her lap, showing him pressed back into the corner of the tiny cage, curled up protectively, shivering or trembling she can’t tell. Wishing she could tell him somehow I’m coming. I will get you out. I haven’t forgotten about you. you’re not disavowed to me. I’m sorry. I’m so terribly sorry Ethan). 

They don’t have to watch the footage for long to decide that any escape that depends on Ethan getting himself out won’t happen. Without government backing and even with Brandt’s help they don’t have the resources or the manpower to storm the prison and break him out. That left one option, and it wasn’t one that any of them liked. The White Widow hadn’t been the least bit interested in taking a call from Ilsa until she’d said John Lark needs your help. 

The team had debated on how to refer to Ethan, desperately wanting to keep his identity as an American agent secret. They knew he hadn’t revealed it, the terrorists would have auctioned him off or killed him if he had. The White Widow knew him as John Lark, and that was all it took. From there Alanna was easily bargained into breaking him out. To Ilsa’s trained eye she could tell Ethan intrigued the other woman. It wasn’t a jealous realization, wasn’t even a shock. It’s Ethan - people are drawn to him, he’s magnetic without even trying or meaning to be. Without even being in the room he can convince people to take jobs that are completely against what they usually do. Ilsa can speak to it herself, she knew she was burning a bridge when she saved him the first time, but despite her past, she couldn’t watch Vinter kill him in the most painful way possible. She’s never been in a relationship like the one with Ethan, drawn in and ready to sacrifice the mission for someone else. Ilsa had been ready to be out of the game for a long time, before Kashmir had believed that it would never - could never - happen. Ethan changed that. Changed her reasons for wanting out. She didn’t plan on falling in love when she tossed him the key in London.

Breaking him out had been the original plan, but when Zola studied the camera footage, guard patterns, and security he decided it would cost too many men. A second plan was formed, and the White Widow had brokered a trade as diplomatically as she always had; the prisoner who was arrested after a motorcycle accident on terrorism charges 5 months ago traded for cash and enough weapons for a small personal army. Ilsa knows she should be as worried about what the weapons will be used for as the rest of the team, but even though she is part of them now, she operated differently for so long that she’s almost forgotten what it’s like to have those concerns. It’s Ethan, surely any price is worth his freedom? (Deep down Ilsa knows Ethan would disagree, loudly, with his dying breath, that his own life is not worth a single innocent life.) Benji and Luther had come up with a secondary mission, running alongside the retrieval to guarantee there would be no innocent lives lost because of the weapons traded for him. It took another week for Alanna to acquire the weapons, leaving ample time for the team to gather the cash for Ethan and the separate cash for Alanna, one-half of the price for her involvement in the exchange. Alanna, just like the terrorists, had also required a two part payment, unable to pass up an opportunity when it presented itself to her. Ilsa doesn’t worry about the other half of Alanna’s fee, it's a problem for later. After Ethan is back and healed and whole again. She hopes he won’t be too furious with her for agreeing to it on his behalf. 

So, now here she is. Not fidgeting. Not twisting her ankle or flexing her calf muscles and imaging she can feel the rods and pins holding her leg together, or the scar where her tibia bone punched through the skin of her calf, not twisting her arm and feeling knitted scars where the bones ground together excruciatingly. 

And above all else she’s not resting her hand on the barely there bump on her stomach, the bump invisible and hidden beneath a loose blouse and trench coat. Invisible to everyone who doesn’t know her and Ethan’s secret. 

———

The first mission wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

It was supposed to be easy and wonderful and the start of the greatest partnership of his life. 

So of course, like everything else in his life, it went to shit in 5 minutes. 

He and Ilsa had never exactly named The Thing between them, except that it was theirs. He didn’t tell Benji and Luther (although greatly suspected Luther knew and Benji was suspicious), and Ilsa being a free agent didn’t have anyone to tell. They were each other's greatest secret, greatest weakness, greatest compromise. Because they did compromise each other. There was no question after they’d saved each other so many times, sacrificing the mission for them. The Thing started simply. After handing Lane off to MI6 they spent a week in London exploring each other's bodies carefully around broken ribs and bruised necks (and how he had enjoyed adding his marks to her neck and having her hands on his chest) telling stories and sharing the private, secret parts of themselves no one else knew - then a night Cape Town, a weekend in Moscow, six hours in Brussels, two days in Paris, traveling 8 hours to spend half that time in her hotel room in Athens. Whenever they could and their schedules overlapped enough, or if they even happened to be in the same time zone, they were together. 

After Julia, he didn’t think he’d ever feel this way about another woman. 

Any chance he could he’d pull her into his missions. Anything to have her by his side. Ilsa was always available and never said no. She was traveling a lot, but he didn’t think she was taking any other jobs as a free agent, waiting for him to call her and almost always close by. Ethan had wondered many times if she declined jobs and traveled to follow him, just close enough it was convenient. When Brandt told him Sloane had given him the approval to extend the offer of a permanent position with the IMF - with Ethan’s team - to Ilsa he was perhaps the happiest he’d ever been. The two of them together - partners - properly, permanently. 

He never thought he’d be considering marriage again either.

So it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise when it fell apart. The plan failed. His backup scenarios ran out. There were no more moves, no more chess pieces. So when he wrecked and went down, Ilsa dead in his earpiece, Benji too late to save her, a part of him, all hope, died with her. When he saw his pursuers approaching he was relieved, he’d never been so ready or willing to meet death than in that moment. To go where Ilsa would be waiting for him. He was already halfway there, a piece of rebar in his chest, internal injuries too numerous to catalog, his leg didn’t feel right, arm wouldn’t lift. Ethan closed his eyes, ready for the bullet that would end his life. 

He certainly hadn’t expected them to take him alive, put him in the hospital, and get him just healthy enough that he’d survive the torture, and survive he did, but not as Ethan Hunt. As something else, a shell of a human. All hope lost. No prayer of rescue. He knew he was disavowed and no help would be coming. He tried to escape, more than once. Each time failed and each time it got worse. So he kept his mouth shut and took what they gave him. Didn’t utter a word except for the screams and shouts when it became too much. He’d already failed everything and everyone else. He couldn’t fail here. Couldn’t stand to betray his country on top of it all. 

When his captors told him he was being traded for goods more valuable than him, he knew he had to end it or escape. He couldn’t do this indefinitely. Eventually, he’d break and the shell would crack and he’d be human again. So he plotted and planned, and when they came for him he knew what he had to do. His final mission, the last plan, the one to end it all. 

———

The far door opens with a clang and three guards file in, dragging a body by a chain between them. 

She’d known it would be shocking seeing him again and was already braced for what condition he’d be in, but she wasn’t quite prepared for how awful it would be to come face to face with the consequences of her own failures. How jarring it’d be to see Ethan so still and lifeless, compliant. She would’ve guessed he’d die before giving up. 

Ilsa is the cynical one, she knows the harsh realities and cruelties of this world. She’s practical. She’s been the torturer and the assassin with no regard for the lives she’s affecting. But not Ethan, it was never supposed to be him that faced down the darkness of her world and had to, somehow, come out the other side. Ilsa has already done that. Too many times to count. It’s made her who she is and she’s not prepared to be on the opposite side of that. Ilsa had been alone for so long before him and no one had ever protected her like this before - sacrificing themselves to shield her from her own mistake. She hopes it hasn’t destroyed Ethan. Taken away his loyalty, compassion, the ability to see goodness in everyone, or the desire to protect everyone. It takes every bit of her not to step forward and cradle his body to hers when another guard grabs his legs and the two men toss Ethan into the center of the room. 

Ethan hits the ground with a thud and multiple wet coughs. 

“Fucker tried to kill himself. Been a long time since he’s had that much energy.”

Fury, hatred, and grief all ripple through her at the words, but the man spoke in his native tongue, one she isn’t supposed to speak. She keeps her face and body language impassive. This isn’t a man she’s deeply in love with. He’s a job, a mission required in the course of her duties. Nothing more than the man her employers want her to hunt down and bring to them. 

If only it were that simple.

Ilsa steps forward and crouches in front of Ethan, fisting her hand into his hair. She pulls up harshly, detaching her mind from her body and what she is about to do. (Her mind is raking her eyes over him, unable to focus on one thing because her attention is immediately drawn to something else. There’s a thick chain fastened around his neck, tight to his skin and surrounded by some of the deepest bruising she’s ever seen. The end of it trails out from his neck, a mocking and sick impersonation of a leash. His hands are bound behind his back with rope that’s splotchy bright red with new blood and dark almost black of old, dried blood. She can’t see the skin of his wrists. She doesn’t want to. He’s shirtless and Ilsa can count his ribs where they protrude from his chest and the vertebrae of his spine down his scarred and bleeding back. She can identify where and what bones of his bare feet and hands have been broken and healed wrong because she’s done that, she’s broken those bones on prisoners before. She wonders what his legs look like under the ripped and torn tac pants he’s still wearing from the mission. Each breath rattles in and out across lips that are cracked and bleeding. Her eyes jump across him and she is seething, furious, ready to burn down th-) Ethan’s glare is still defiant when their eyes meet, and before he recognizes her he spits a wad of blood and saliva into her face. He starts to speak in a hoarse, raspy voice completely foreign to him “you might as well just kil-”

He cuts off as he realizes it’s her. Almost instantly his face collapses into the most profound display of grief and heartbreak and utter relief she’s ever seen. It’s an expression meant to be carved in marble, painted and displayed in a museum, or preserved in a book for all eternity but not on someone's face. Human beings aren’t supposed to look like that, especially not at her. Not for her, when she’s done so much wrong. There’s blood running from his bruised nose and congealing in the sparse hair on his lip. The smack she delivers to his face adds more to it. 

“Хуй!” She swears in Russian and wipes her face as she stands and pushes Ethan away. 

There is a simmering beast of rage burning within her. She has killed and tortured and maimed and done things that haunt her. Nothing will haunt her as much as the way his face instantly shuts off, all the emotion in his expression a moment before disappears. He doesn’t flinch or wince with the slap. Just takes it, and flops motionless to the ground. He’s nothing, a blank slate as if Ethan is gone, and here is his corpse. 

“This is the target.” Ilsa still speaks in Russian, accent perfect, with no hint that it’s not her native tongue. No hint of the swirling emotions within her. She nods to the prison warden. Alanna, face a perfect mask, passes the backpack stacked full of cash to him. 

“We can continue with the exchange then. I assure you, it’s all there. Couldn’t stay in the business like this if we didn’t ensure all terms were met on both sides.” Alanna says, perfect smile in place. Underneath it though, her skin has paled a shade. Shocked by the brutality Ethan has suffered. 

The man takes it, a slimy grin exposing yellow teeth as he hands it to another man who excuses himself to count it. 

“When my man confirms it you’re free to leave with him.” He rakes a dirty hand through his greasy hair and sends both women another nauseating smile. 

Only in your wildest dreams, Ilsa thinks as she nods to him again. She expected nothing less, to everyone else this is nothing more than a business transaction.

The room waits in silence, save for Ethan’s rattling breaths. She glances at the White Widow whose face has gone another shade paler as she looks more closely at Ethan. Her brother behind her looks grim but is no longer glaring at Ilsa. 

She refocuses on Ethan. He hasn’t moved since she slapped and pushed him back to the ground, hasn’t even turned his head so his face isn’t resting on the floor. His breaths begin to take on a wet quality and she steps over to him with less urgency than she feels. Ilsa pauses when she gets to him as if she’s considering, and carelessly uses her foot to push him up and onto his shoulder, the closest she can get him to the recovery position. 

“Can’t have you dying before my employers get their hands on you can we?” She says, her voice low as she crouches back in front of him, trying to meet his eyes and communicate with just a glance like they used to. His stare is dead ahead, eyes unfocused. There’s a small pool of blood where his face was just resting on the ground, more running from his nose and mouth. It’s concerning, but not enough to be immediately life-threatening alone. She’s not sure if paired with the rest of his injuries and the disassociation it’s a significant concern. 

She stays crouched by him, listening to his breathing and watching his chest rise and fall jerkily, winces as she can his broken ribs flex and expand under the skin that’s practically molded to them he’s so thin. 

Ilsa stands when the outer door opens and the man who counted the money nods. 

The warden looks at them, “It seems our terms have been met, the terrorist is yours. My men will move him to your vehicle. It’s a pleasure to do business with you, perhaps next time we’ll meet under more pleasurable circumstances.”

Ilsa wants to punch the man square in his smug face, maybe whip around his back and break his neck with her thighs. Instead, she nods and motions two guards forward. 

“Carry him. My employers will not appreciate any more damage to the goods.”

The warden translates, and there is a brief bickering back and forth before the guards begrudgingly scoop Ethan up by his feet and under his arms. It’s not a long walk to the roof of the compound, but it still concerns Ilsa that Ethan doesn’t move or flinch throughout the journey no matter how many times the guards carelessly let him bump into the walls of the corridor. 

Outside on the roof, the light rain from when they arrived has lifted, leaving the air damp and chilling to the bone. She instantly wants to shiver and pull her coat tighter around herself.

Ilsa points to the helicopter she arrived in, indicating where she wants the guards to set Ethan. They toss him in, none too gently. She dismisses them with a flick of her hand and they retreat back inside. She nods at Alanna and Zola, as they climb into their own helicopter.

Alanna has to shout over the sound of both helicopters spinning up, “I trust you’ll ensure he’s well healed by the time I need to call on the second half of my payment.”

Ilsa nods again, not needing another reminder of the other half of the agreement, “You have my guarantee.”

She nods to them in dismissal before ducking under the spinning rotors, stepping up into the helicopter, and sliding the door closed with a satisfying thunk when it latches. She reaches forward and taps Brandt, behind the stick of the chopper, on the shoulder, giving him the signal to fly to their first rendezvous point with Luther and Benji. His gaze is focused on Ethan, worry written in every wrinkle of his face. 

As gently as she can she rights Ethan, crouching on the floor and leaning him against the fuselage of the helicopter. He’s still out of it, gaze empty and unfocused. Ilsa blinks back sudden wetness in her eyes and swallows a choking feeling rising in her throat before dragging the first of the multiple medical bags towards her, fishing a pair of medical shears out of a front pocket. She begins to reach behind Ethan to cut the ropes on his hands when he makes an almost imperceptible sound of pain, barely audible over the sound of the helicopter as it lifts in the air. She’d have missed it if she wasn’t leaning over him. As quickly as she can she leans back, gently cradling his body to rest back against the fuselage. His eyes are red and bloodshot, one swollen, and the other already surrounded by bruising. But they are staring directly at her, locked onto her face, his expression a mix of fear and hope, an open book to her always. 

“Ilsa?” He asks in the same shattered voice as before. 

“Yes, it’s me. It’s me.” She drops the medical shears and cups his cheek with one hand, the other cradling the back of his head, her fingers tangling into his hair. 

Ethan is staring at her with so much intensity it’s almost overwhelming. Like she’s an oasis in the desert and he’s drinking her in, a dying man and she’s the thing he needs to survive. He leans his cheek into her palm, pressing into it and nosing into her wrist, eyes falling shut for the briefest moment before they snap open and he pulls his head up like it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done, eyes locked back on her. 

“You’re real? You’re alive? This is all real?” Ethan’s eyes are brimming with tears and he’s not even trying to blink them away, afraid she’ll disappear if he takes his gaze off of her for even a millisecond.  

She presses a kiss to his forehead, “It’s all real. I’m real, I’m alive. You’re alright, you’re okay.”

Ilsa swipes her thumb over the bruise under his eye, catching a tear as it falls and watching as his face crumples with relief. She pulls him into her, tucking his face into the side of her neck, pressing her own cheek on top of his head, one hand still tangled in his hair, holding. I’m here. I’m here. I’m here. We’re both alive. You’ll be okay. The other arm wraps around him carefully, avoiding the worst of the wounds on his back and holding him close for the first time in five months, pressing them together, and wishing she could lay her claim on him. She’ll never be able to protect him entirely, but damn if she doesn’t wish she could. Soon she’s crying too, silent, as Ethan shakes in her hold. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. She thinks. 

They’re safe. Together. Alive. A weight she didn’t know was on her shoulders lifts, relief coursing through her so powerfully it leaves her feeling breathless, overwhelmed, and exhausted. There is a fine tremble running through her hands. She almost didn’t get this; holding him, kissing him, loving him.

The baby kicks, shifts inside of her and she holds back a gasp. The doctor who had performed the surgery on her leg had consulted an OB after confirming she was indeed pregnant. After the surgery, there had been conversations - what to expect and when, how often she should be coming in for check-ups, and more dietary and health recommendations for herself than she wanted to think about. The list had been endless, but she had been out of it with pain, grief over losing Ethan, and overwhelmed with shock that she was pregnant after a lifetime of being told she couldn’t conceive children. But now, thinking back, the doctor had told she’d start to feel kicks and movement around five months. Even with tears on her face, she smiles a bit. He’s already like his father with perfect timing. She presses more kisses to Ethan’s hair, making her way down his face with gentle touches of her lips to his skin, ghosting over his eye, trailing across his cheekbone, and collecting salty tears until she gets to his mouth. He surges up to meet her, pressing them together desperately and with more force than she thought he was capable of. Ilsa smiles into him, god she missed this. 

Meet your dad, little man, he’s the best of us. 

an: anyone catch the sneaky little line of dialogue i stole from rogue nation in there?? title of this fic and the lyrics at the beginning are from the war, by syml. also, xуй means dick in Russian

taglist (i made this from people who showed interest, please don't hesitate to ask to be removed (or added!!), absolutely no hard feelings): @valmare @thethistlegirl @alcafrach @izzypuppybutt

#mission impossible #ilsa faust fanfic #ethan hunt fanfic #mission impossible fic #ethan hunt #ilsa faust #ethan x ilsa #ilsaethan #ethanilsa #ilsa x ethan #rad writes #my writing

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Justice for Barty Crouch Jr: Part 1/2

(Part 2)

This is a bit of a weird theory, and I'll confess, some of the evidence is not all that conclusive. But I didn't see anyone mention anything about this anywhere else...

When I reread the books recently, I noticed I really liked Mad-Eye Moody in Goblet of Fire. Moody in the fourth book is actually one of my favorite characters, he makes the top 10. But then I reached Order of the Phoenix and realized (again) that I hate Moody's guts.

The only conclusion I could draw was that I really liked Barty Crouch Jr. because, Moody in book 4, wasn't really Moody. So, I went back to Goblet of Fire to try and find out who Barty is, how his behavior as Moody, differed from the real deal in the later books, and why I liked him when I didn't like the real Moody.

And let's just say, I came to some interesting conclusions...

This post ended up being pretty long, so I've divided it up into two. But my thesis is:

Barty was a Death eater, but he didn't torture the Longbottoms.

He didn't want Harry to be hurt during the Tornoment and actually cared about him.

And I can prove it!

Reasons for Doubt

When reviewing all the scenes of Barty Jr, it was made clear pretty quickly that Barty wasn't really trying to fool anyone. Actually, he seemed to be actively sabotaging himself.

“Maybe someone’s hoping Potter is going to die for it,” said Moody, with the merest trace of a growl. An extremely tense silence followed these words. Ludo Bagman, who was looking very anxious indeed, bounced nervously up and down on his feet and said, “Moody, old man ... what a thing to say!” “We all know Professor Moody considers the morning wasted if he hasn’t discovered six plots to murder him before lunchtime,” said Karkaroff loudly. “Apparently he is now teaching his students to fear assassination too. An odd quality in a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dumbledore, but no doubt you had your reasons.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 279)

From the very beginning, Barty is outright telling everyone what happened. And exactly how:

“Because they hoodwinked a very powerful magical object!” said Moody. “It would have needed an exceptionally strong Confundus Charm to bamboozle that goblet into forgetting that only three schools compete in the tournament. ... I’m guessing they submitted Potter’s name under a fourth school, to make sure he was the only one in his category. ...” “You seem to have given this a great deal of thought, Moody,” said Karkaroff coldly, “and a very ingenious theory it is — though of course, I heard you recently got it into your head that one of your birthday presents contained a cunningly disguised basilisk egg, and smashed it to pieces before realizing it was a carriage clock. So you’ll understand if we don’t take you entirely seriously. ...”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 279-280)

He goes as far as to explain how he got Harry into the tournament. To the point even Karkaroff thinks it's strange Moody would bother putting so much thought into it. And he's right, it is super strange.

Barty shouldn't be explaining that to the people he is supposedly trying to deceive. It's so incredibly revealing and counterproductive. And it's not that Barty is stupid, he shows he is both intelligent and competent to a degree it's clear that if he really wanted to not be discovered he wouldn't be (he transfigured his father's corpse to a bone and buried it in the forest when he didn't wish to be found out, clearly, he can get away with murder when he wants to). So why all of this? Why try so hard to tell them exactly what's going on? Why is he showing his hand?

It won't be out of character for Moody to not mention all of it. He could not go into as much detail easily. But, he chooses to go into detail about the very method he used to get Harry chosen for the tournament. Like he's trying to get himself caught.

“So . . . whoever conjured the Dark Mark . . .” said Hermione slowly, “were they doing it to show support for the Death Eaters, or to scare them away?” “Your guess is as good as ours, Hermione,” said Mr. Weasley. “But I’ll tell you this . . . it was only the Death Eaters who ever knew how to conjure it. I’d be very surprised if the person who did it hadn’t been a Death Eater once, even if they’re not now. . . .

(Goblet of Fire, page 143)

This is an earlier note from Hermione, and I agree with her 100%. The goal of Barty when casting the Dark Mark isn't clear. We know he is a marked Death Eater, but so are Regulus and Snape. We know not all Death Eaters agreed with everything they did, and some of them had regrets. And it's kind of interesting this idea that Barty cast the Dark Mark to scare the attackers off was planted this early in the book.

“What — what are you doing?” said Professor McGonagall, her eyes following the bouncing ferret’s progress through the air. “Teaching,” said Moody. “Teach — Moody, is that a student?” shrieked Professor McGonagall, the books spilling out of her arms. “Yep,” said Moody.

(Goblet of Fire, page 206)

I wanted to add this scene just because of the "yep" as his response to McGonagall, but this entire conversation, actually is noteworthy. Why? Well, the mannerism.

Moody whom we meet in book 5 and onwards doesn't speak or act like this. The mannerisms and speech patterns we see in this conversation are 100% Barty Crouch Jr. And this isn't the only scene in which his own mannerisms peek through because he isn't putting much effort into his act.

Here are some examples of how Moody talks in book 5, for comparison:

“Well, congratulations,” said Moody, still glaring at Ron with his normal eye, “authority figures always attract trouble, but I suppose Dumbledore thinks you can withstand most major jinxes or he wouldn’t have appointed you. . . .”

(Order of the Pheonix, page 169)

“Yeah, well,” said Moody, “there’s something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that.” “Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning,” whispered Mrs. Weasley. “ ’Course he’s worried,” growled Moody. “The boy’s seeing things from inside You-Know-Who’s snake. . . . Obviously, Potter doesn’t realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who’s possessing him —”

(Order of the Pheonix, page 491)

He's more gruff, more blunt, more paranoid. He isn't as gentle with Harry and Ron as Barty was (I'll showcase some of these moments later). And he shows full faith in Dumbledore's decisions. Something, Barty doesn't do even when pretending to be Moody.

Some Background

I want to talk about Barty's trial and Azkaban sentence for a bit, along with his relationship with his father as it explains a lot about him as a character...

and a boy in his late teens, who looked nothing short of petrified. He was shivering, his straw-colored hair all over his face, his freckled skin milk-white. The wispy little witch beside Crouch began to rock backward and forward in her seat, whimpering into her handkerchief. Crouch stood up. He looked down upon the four in front of him, and there was pure hatred in his face. “You have been brought here before the Council of Magical Law,” he said clearly, “so that we may pass judgment on you, for a crime so heinous —” “Father,” said the boy with the straw-colored hair. “Father . . . please . . .” “— that we have rarely heard the like of it within this court,” said Crouch, speaking more loudly, drowning out his son’s voice. “We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror — Frank Longbottom — and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named —” “Father, I didn’t!” shrieked the boy in chains below. “I didn’t, I swear it, Father, don’t send me back to the dementors —”

(Goblet of Fire, page 594)

Does this look like a hardened Death Eater who was happy to torture the Longbottoms and proud to serve his lord?

No, this is a terrified nineteen-year-old kid who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

Barty continues and calls:

“Mother!” screamed the boy below, and the wispy little witch beside Crouch began to sob, rocking backward and forward. “Mother, stop him, Mother, I didn’t do it, it wasn’t me!”

...

“No! Mother, no! I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it, I didn’t know! Don’t send me there, don’t let him!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 595)

Barty calls this as Bellatrix and the Lestranges are completely calm, taking credit for torturing the Longbottoms. Shouting at Crouch Sr, that Voldemort would return. Barty isn't doing that, he isn't the fanatic Death Eaters, he's a scared boy:

But the boy was trying to fight off the dementors, even though Harry could see their cold, draining power starting to affect him. The crowd was jeering, some of them on their feet, as the woman swept out of the dungeon, and the boy continued to struggle. “I’m your son!” he screamed up at Crouch. “I’m your son!” “You are no son of mine!” bellowed Mr. Crouch, his eyes bulging suddenly. “I have no son!” The wispy witch beside him gave a great gasp and slumped in her seat. She had fainted. Crouch appeared not to have noticed. “Take them away!” Crouch roared at the dementors, spit flying from his mouth. “Take them away, and may they rot there!” “Father! Father, I wasn’t involved! No! No! Father, please!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 596)

Barty keeps swearing he wasn't involved and that he didn't do it. that it wasn't him. Compared to how calm the three Lestranges are — it's clear something's up.

I think Barty is telling the truth here. I think he really didn't torture the Longbottoms.

Barty was still acting as a scared boy, just like in his trial, even in front of only dementors and Death Eaters, when there was no need to act. He is described by Sirius when he arrived in Azkaban:

I saw the dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can’t have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine. He was screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though . . . they all went quiet in the end . . . except when they shrieked in their sleep. . . .

(Goblet of Fire, page 528)

Barty was young and scared and kept to the same behavior even with no audience to convince — which means it wasn't a lie. It wasn't an act. He really didn't do it.

Sirius talks a little bit about Braty's childhood, his relationship with Crouch Sr and the events leading up to his trial:

“Crouch’s own son was caught with a group of Death Eaters who’d managed to talk their way out of Azkaban. Apparently they were trying to find Voldemort and return him to power.”

...

“Nasty little shock for old Barty, I’d imagine. Should have spent a bit more time at home with his family, shouldn’t he? Ought to have left the office early once in a while . . . gotten to know his own son.” He began to wolf down large pieces of bread. “Was his son a Death Eater?” said Harry. “No idea,” said Sirius, still stuffing down bread. “I was in Azkaban myself when he was brought in. This is mostly stuff I’ve found out since I got out. The boy was definitely caught in the company of people I’d bet my life were Death Eaters — but he might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the house-elf.”

...

“...Crouch’s fatherly affection stretched just far enough to give his son a trial, and by all accounts, it wasn’t much more than an excuse for Crouch to show how much he hated the boy . . . then he sent him straight to Azkaban.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 528)

Barty, at the time of his trial and sentence, wasn't even for sure a Death Eater. He wasn't actually caught doing anything, he was caught with Death Eaters who escaped an Azkaban sentence, which means Death Eaters other than the Lestranges. This means he wasn't even caught on the scene of the Longbottoms torture, but somewhere else and unrelated. It proves even more that Barty was innocent regarding the torture of Frank and Alice.

We know he was a Death Eater because he could cast the Dark Mark. But, I think he wasn't involved in torturing the Longbottoms or anyone, for that matter. I don't think he had it in him before Azkaban and years of torment by his father.

The other thing of note is Crouch's treatment of his son. He was an absent father, caring more for his ministry position than his family. And we see later in GoF that Barty despises his father. I think he disliked him even before being kept under the imperious curse for years. I think that's what pushed Barty to become a Death Eater, it was something to spite his father. To create a distance between them.

His murder of his father during GoF is probably the only murder he wanted a part of. Actually, his father is the only person we know he killed. He didn't get the chance to kill the real Moody, and he never killed anyone else.

Once the boy [Barty Jr] had died, people started feeling a bit more sympathetic toward the son and started asking how a nice young lad from a good family had gone so badly astray. The conclusion was that his father never cared much for him

(Goblet of Fire, page 529)

More from Sirius that strengthens my former point. Barty joined the Death Eaters, in large to go against his father.

This vendetta against his father is the main reason I believe Barty chooses this plan to aid Voldemort. Well, there are some other reasons, but using the tournament is a good way for him to mess with his father's reputation. That same reputation that was more important to him than his own son.

As a Teacher and Mentor

A lot of fans like to say Remus Lupin was the best DADA teacher Harry had, I'd actually argue it was Moody (aka Barty). I'm saying that because Barty-as-Moody was the one who taught Harry many of the techniques and approaches he keeps going back to in the books.

The constant vigilance that saves him multiple times is from Barty, not the real Moody.

His resistance to the imperious curse.

When Harry quotes Moody in his head under certain situations for the advice he was given, it's not advice from the real Moody but from Barty:

He raised the cup to his lips and then, just as suddenly, lowered it. One of the horrible painted kittens behind Umbridge had great round blue eyes just like Mad-Eye Moody’s magical one, and it had just occurred to Harry what Mad-Eye would say if he ever heard that Harry had drunk anything offered by a known enemy

(Order of the Phoenix, page 630)

This above quote is based on Barty's advice in GoF, not the real Moody.

Barty made Harry think of becoming an auror. He was the one who convinced him he could become one:

“You ever thought of a career as an Auror, Potter?” “No,” said Harry, taken aback. “You want to consider it,” said Moody, nodding and looking at Harry thoughtfully. “Yes, indeed . . . and incidentally . . . I’m guessing you weren’t just taking that egg for a walk tonight?” “Er — no,” said Harry, grinning. “I’ve been working out the clue.” Moody winked at him, his magical eye going haywire again. “Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas, Potter. . . . See you in the morning. . . .”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 477-478)

Barty did more for Harry's self-esteem than any other teacher.

“Now, that’s more like it!” growled Moody’s voice, and suddenly, Harry felt the empty, echoing feeling in his head disappear. He remembered exactly what was happening, and the pain in his knees seemed to double. “Look at that, you lot ... Potter fought! He fought it, and he damn near beat it! We’ll try that again, Potter, and the rest of you, pay attention — watch his eyes, that’s where you see it — very good, Potter, very good indeed! They’ll have trouble controlling you!”

(Goblet of Fire, page 232)

In the above scene, Barty is delighted by Harry's resistance of the imperious. He is so proud and fond. I already mentioned and will continue showing how Barty did very little acting when he pretended to be Moody, as such, I don't think he's pretending here either. I think he actually is delighted.

And, I mean, think about it, why would a servant loyal to Voldemort teach Harry Potter how to resist the imperius? Why would he keep practicing with him throughout the year to make sure he was good at it? Why make sure Harry knows people would want to control him and he should make it hard for them?

The only conclusion I can come to is that he is trying to help Harry from a limited position. Why and How will be discussed later.

Neville was standing alone, halfway up the passage, staring at the stone wall opposite him with the same horrified, wide-eyed look he had worn when Moody had demonstrated the Cruciatus Curse. “Neville?” Hermione said gently. “Neville, what — ?” But an odd clunking noise sounded behind them, and they turned to see Professor Moody limping toward them. All four of them fell silent, watching him apprehensively, but when he spoke, it was in a much lower and gentler growl than they had yet heard. “It’s all right, sonny,” he said to Neville. “Why don’t you come up to my office? Come on . . . we can have a cup of tea. ...” Neville looked even more frightened at the prospect of tea with Moody. He neither moved nor spoke. Moody turned his magical eye upon Harry. “You all right, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, almost defiantly. Moody’s blue eye quivered slightly in its socket as it surveyed Harry. Then he said, “You’ve got to know. It seems harsh, maybe, but you’ve got to know. No point pretending ... well ... come on, Longbottom, I’ve got some books that might interest you.”

(Goblet of Fire, page 219)

And he wasn't only the best DADA teacher for Harry, he was the best teacher for Neville too. He actually helped the son of the Longbottoms he was sent to Azkaban for torturing.

Just, he is the only adult attempting to build up Neville's confidence in himself and his abilities. He encourages Neville's love of Herbology and doesn't ridicule him like most other adults in Neville's life.

Also in the above quote, he clearly wants to tell Harry more. "but you’ve got to know", he says. He is trying to prepare Harry for what's to come. Why would he do that if he wants him dead?

As a Defender of Harry

To continue off Barty actually steps up to defend Harry a lot throughout the book. Even at times, he won't necessarily have to. I mean, the real Moody was never this protective of Harry. Sure, he kept him safe, but he didn't really care for Harry's feelings and self-esteem. Barty did.

“Yeah, that’s Harry Potter,” said a growling voice from behind them. Professor Karkaroff spun around. Mad-Eye Moody was standing there, leaning heavily on his staff, his magical eye glaring unblinkingly at the Durmstrang headmaster. The color drained from Karkaroff’s face as Harry watched. A terrible look of mingled fury and fear came over him

(Goblet of Fire, page 258)

He's scaring Karkaroff and the Durmstrang students away from Harry. The moment before this quote had the Durmstrang students and Karkaroff noticing Harry for the first time as they were leaving the Great Hall on the day they arrived at Hogwarts. They all freeze and stare at Harry, knowing his story and probably about to ask him questions, it's not like Karkaroff would've done anything in the Great Hall. But Moody (Barty) steps in to fend off Harry's discomfort! Hes not even in actual physical danger! Just discomfort!

Harry hesitated. He’d been afraid of this — but he hadn’t told Cedric, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell Moody, that Hagrid had broken the rules. “It’s all right,” said Moody, sitting down and stretching out his wooden leg with a groan. “Cheating’s a traditional part of the Tri-wizard Tournament and always has been.” “I didn’t cheat,” said Harry sharply. “It was — a sort of accident that I found out.” Moody grinned. “I wasn’t accusing you, laddie. I’ve been telling Dumbledore from the start, he can be as high-minded as he likes, but you can bet old Karkaroff and Maxime won’t be. They’ll have told their champions everything they can. They want to win. They want to beat Dumbledore. They’d like to prove he’s only human.”

(Goblet of Fire, pages 343-344)

Moody is glad Harry knows about the dragons, and that could be explained by wanting him to win so he could get to the graveyard (that plan had so many problems in it that I'll get to later) but that isn't the only thing he reveals here. He calls out Dumbledore and his attitude. He shows his dislike towards Dumbledore and his moral flexibility regarding cheating - two things the real Moody will never say. And he would definitely not phrase them like this. This whole conversation — that's all Barty.

Barty, who is actually encouraging Harry and belittling Dumbledore.

That sentence about proving Dumbledore's human, I think Barty shares that feeling. He agrees with the other headmasters on that. Even if he hates Karkaroff's guts.

Because he actually does hate all the Death Eaters that got away genuinely, but not for the same reasons as, let's say, Bellatrix. Bellatrix dislikes them for their lack of loyalty to their lord; Barty hates them out of envy.

Barty was sent to Azkaban for his mark even if he never tortured or killed anyone. And these other Death Eaters, ones he might know killed or tortured, got out scott-free. He was fought alongside them and still sent to the dementors instead of being let go. And he is bitter.

Also, important to remember, that a year in Azkaban and then twelve years under the Imperius curse didn't leave him unscathed. He is not mentally or emotionally well or anything close to it when we meet him in the books.

“Well, I’m not going to tell you,” said Moody gruffly. “I don’t show favoritism, me. I’m just going to give you some good, general advice. And the first bit is — play to your strengths.” “I haven’t got any,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “Excuse me,” growled Moody, “you’ve got strengths if I say you’ve got them. Think now. What are you best at?”

(Goblet of Fire, page 344)

I love this scene. Like, this is the first ever time an adult with authority, a teacher, tells Harry how great he is. I talked about the fact Harry is clever and magically powerful but has really low self-esteem. And Barty actually argues with him. Bart (as Moody) makes him believe he could become something. That he has things he is good at.

One of this book's antagonists is the first person to tell Harry he has strengths. That's just all levels of messed up.

It shows Barty Crouch Jr actually does more for Harry's emotional well-being than any other professor he had. More than McGonagall, more than Lupin. Actually, the only adult who tries to help Harry with more care than Barty, is Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. It's just insane that Barty, a Death Eater, actually understood Harry and went out of his way to help with his insecurities and make him comfortable more than Molly Weasley did.

Now, let's talk about the Farret Incident because it's interesting too. both regarding his defense of Harry and his hatred of the Death Eaters that got away.

“I don’t think so!” roared Moody, pointing his wand at the ferret again — it flew ten feet into the air, fell with a smack to the floor, and then bounced upward once more. “I don’t like people who attack when their opponent’s back’s turned,” growled Moody as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. “Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do. ...”

(Goblet of Fire, page 205)

Barty steps in to defend Harry because he does it a lot. It's why I placed this moment in this section. One would expect someone who wants Harry to die to not mind if he was cursed a bit, it's not like Draco was about to kill him, but no, he defends him even when no one sees him there.

But specifically in this incident, I want to mention how personal he gets about this. Barty's disdain towards the Death Eaters that escaped Azkaban is very real and very dangerous to Draco. He's furious they didn't need to spend a year in hell on earth only to then be enslaved by a curse for 12 years by their father who kept them like a dirty secret in the basement.

As I mentioned above, I don't think Barty is mentally sound, but I think he genuinely cares about Harry and didn't torture the Longbottoms.

In the next post, I go through the final scene of Barty in the book, and explain the whole plan Barty had.

Part 2 >>

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #wizarding world #harry potter theory #hollowedtheory #hp theory #overthinking #first wizarding war #death eaters #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #goblet of fire #harry potter and the goblet of fire #gof #barty analysis #bartemius crouch jr #bartemius crouch junior #hp meta #hp thoughts #harry potter meta

[nohr-and-thirst]

infodump more about welt suffering and welt in general. please?

I've played quite a bit of HI3 and have been playing HSR, which made me finally interested in welt. the gravitas of his eng VA's voice his chef's kiss - I think he's one of the few characters who doesn't sound like "I'm reading this from a paper in a studio" in english - and I dig his design and powers. but what side material do I actually read to get welt lore? there's so much manga and I've only seen screenshots

ASK ABOUT WELT AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!

Quick side topic about his English VA. I love how it fits Welt so well, in my opinion. I play Impact 3rd with CN dub, but for Star Rail he doesn’t have the same CN voice actor so it threw me off at first, but I gotten use to it after I tried to stop associating with another Impact 3rd VA.

I am putting this here already, this is gonna be very short explanation. Is this post short? No absolutely not, but I’m trying to cut details to try and make it short as I can and have it make sense.

Let us start off with some basic information about Welt Yang and now he inherited the name plus the Herrscher of Reason core.

Before there was Welt Yang, there was Welt Joyce, the first Herrscher of Reason. Sadly Impact 3rd does not explore much of Joyce, and most of the information on him, Otto, Anti-Entropy, and even about Tesla and Einstein is all a Visual Novel that never got a true English translation. However, it did get fan translations and oh goodness it’s a lot there. We will speak only of the information we got about Welt Yang from this Visual Novel.

Around the time this VN takes place Welt Yang is 8 years old since it’s 1955. He is the kiddo in the middle, and man oh man he went through a lot!!!

Welt’s dad, Elias Nokianvirtanen, really did care for Welt. He would often travel with his dad who was working for Schicksal.

There is important information to note, and if I don’t explain it I feel like so much will be lost and the reason all of this is important. There are two major groups at the time (1955). Schicksal and Anti-Entropy (AE). At first AE was just the Northern American branch, and there was a lot of tension between the two. After a bit of… fighting, they did manage to make Anti-Entropy.

The reason they were with the AE, was because Elias was forced to sabotage AE because Otto was threatening Welt’s life.

Than there is Welt Joyce. Welt Joyce is one of my personal favorite underrated characters, and the way Joyce really wanted to protect humanity tells you everything.

Now what does these gentlemen have in common-? Their deaths are connected to Otto. Otto killed Elias due to the reason he was there slipped, and Joyce risked his life to protect New York from being nuked by Otto.

At this time as Welt was trying to help Joyce, Joyce asked him what he thought of the name Welt. Welt mentions he likes it, and Joyce not only passed on the name Welt, but also the Herrchser core.

If you are curious, and wish to read the VN here is the link! https://zklm.github.io/honkai-vn-antientropy/ as a reminder, this is a fan translation, since we never got an official English translation!

Now, here is where we get to the fun bits. Fun fact: in the manga Second Eruption, Otto was legit like flabbergasted. Cause you know, THE FACT HE KILLED IS SUPPOSEDLY ALIVE. Only than to see it wasn’t Welt Joyce, but someone else and this manga just really shows you how strong Welt can be.

Now in Second Eruption, their goal at the start was just “hey we need to find this new herrchser.” So guess what? They gotta work together a bit. There was a small comment that I feel gets over looked and that is, Otto never really taught Siegfried or Theresa how to use their divine keys, and Welt made a small jab at this. I don’t hear people really mention this, and I don’t know why it is such a small fact I love to bring up.

There is a really important fight scene that happens among these pages/chapters between Welt and Sirin. Here we get to see more of what Welt can do as the HOR, which is once he learns the structure of a human creation, he can make a cope with honkai energy. Now I don’t wanna go to much detail into this fight cause how I’m typing won’t do it justice, but we get a tiny new conflict pop up! What is this conflict? A clown, more specifically, Otto. That’s Otto Apocalypse himself.

When I saw Otto has basically made it his personal goal to take down Welt, it being Joyce or Yang, to take down AE, and just do his plans, I mean it. This man goes so far, and I can do a whole essay about Otto, because he is an extremely well written antagonist. However, that will be for later in case anyone wants that just tell me. But Otto could have done more to Welt here, however Siegfried was there! Since Siegfried is key to Otto’s plan he just leaves and they both luckily make it back to safety with VERY bad injuries.

I do not want to go into all the details in the manga, as this manga is my favorite and everyday I hope that HoYoverse will animate it, so https://manga.honkaiimpact3.com/book/1005 here is the link! PLEASE IF YOU CAN READ IT! It’s 65 chapters long, it’s amazing, well written and oh my goodness I could do a whole video essay on it.

Now I am gonna throw some fun facts because this post is getting long and I’ll share some links too!

So here is a great video from HoYoverse about Joyce, Welt Yang, and Bronya and the legacy of the Herrchser of Reason! https://youtu.be/eSOYUfnUGZk

Now here I’m gonna send two playlist of A Post Honkai Odyssey. Why? Because Welt is in it, and also one of my all time favorite character is in it too, Void Archives. (This is me hinting that I wanna info dump about him too.)

Here is a playlist of gameplay of APHO on YT: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLt0MO_4lG2SEyuMmOywSW02-soMN0PA45

Here is a playlist for APHO 2: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIL1w10vWxxolgZxP1Q7KlTPyq2B8JCt3

Also APHO has a certain scene that could be similar to some Star Rail players 👀

Here some random fun facts about Welt Yang that I recall on top of my head cause he gives the brain serotonin!

Welt Yang for the first bit having the core couldn’t sleep tho to the fact that the core houses over 300k people, and he never really complained of any struggles it gave to him, but we learn during the HoD arc when he speaks with Bronya he is concerned about her and ask her all the things she is experiencing.

It’s mention in Second Eruption that Welt would try and ask Einstein to play the piano, also he mentions around that same chapter I believe that if he didn’t inherit the HoR core he thinks/wonders if he would have become a teacher or linguistic like his father.

Facts relating to Arahato is that one his company had a whole copyright issue with Otto’s game company, the Arahato is heavily based of Joyce, and the line “Witness the stars shatter before you!” Comes from Joyce, but Herrchser of Truth Bronya (HI3RD) and Welt (HSR) say this line! Also around the Thus Spoke Apocalypse arc, it is mentioned by Einstein that one morning Welt made breakfast for the crew but it wasn’t much since he made it but implies he knows how to cook!

This is more from Star Rail, but is Serval is in your express she actual mentions Welt cause he asked some questions, but here is the tumblr link for that!

I don’t want to make a too long post that no one possible reads, BUT PLEASE ASK ME ANYTHING! IT CAN BE SILLY OR SERIOUS ABOUT WELT OR ANY OF THE HONKAI IMPACT 3RD GROUP OR STAR RAIL GROUP AS WELL!!! I read the manga’s and I have read the VN and I have spent hours rereading and replaying and explaining to people that ask and I love to do so QVQ

#Welt Yang #Welt Joyce #otto apocalypse #honkai impact #honkai impact 3rd #hi3rd #hi3 #a post honkai odyssey #APHO #honkai star rail #hsr #I’m tagging as such since I do mention a bit of Star rail but mAN I COULD RAMBLE #adorable anon #Nohr rambles #long post

[desdemonafictional]

Post canon WIP (Scene 1)

“I’ve been thinking,” Kabru said.

Annoyingly, Laios did not look up from the encyclopedia he was flipping through. He’d had a wistful, almost pained expression on his face for the last several minutes as he paged through the book that Mithrun had leant them. It was a detailed record of monsters known in the west, their appearances and habits and weaknesses, aimed at an audience of future Canaries destined for the dungeons of the outside world.

At first Laios had been thrilled, commenting constantly on this fact or that fact, and the quality of illustrations, and points where he happened to know the encyclopedia had gotten something wrong. But bit by bit, he’d gone quiet. And now he simply sat there, with that look on his face, as if the book hurt him to touch.

Kabru sat down on the edge of the table and placed his finger over the page.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said again.

Laios looked up.

“I know this life isn’t the one you wanted,” Kabru said. “We’re all grateful… I’m especially grateful, for what you’ve done. And I know… how it is with desires, I’ve seen what it costs to give up a part of yourself. But I’ve said this to someone else before—maybe the thing you used to want is beyond you now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have new desires. New interests.”

Laios gave him a tired look. “You’re talking about my curse,” he said. “Kabru, it’s fine. I’ve made peace with it. At the end of the day, there’s still books and things.” He gestured at the encyclopedia, as if it hadn’t just been making him miserable. “Just because I can’t see monsters up close anymore doesn’t mean I want to forget about them.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Kabru said. “I meant—without giving up on monsters, you can have other, different things as well, right?”

He slid the book aside, carefully marking the page before closing it.

“Let me teach you about people,” Kabru said. “People are really interesting! A human bite is functionally poisonous, and humans are actually very difficult to kill despite having no natural weapons—the things a human can do, not just dwarves and elves but tallmen too, and halflings—we’re amazing animals, incredibly adaptable, physiologically and mentally.”

“I don’t know,” Laios said, “humans are…”

Kabru considered him for a moment, appraising his uneasy, twisted expression. There were bits he’d learned about Laios, here and there, that suggested a story that Kabru had never dared ask directly about.

“Let me guess,” Kabru said, “and tell me if I’m wrong. Humans are something other to you, right? Something irrational. Alien. Humans took your childhood and destroyed it. Humans drove you from your home, hurt the people you loved. The harm came out of nowhere, without explanation, and you were powerless against it. You lived in fear of them, and even now, in some ways, you’re still afraid. Deep down, you find the idea of them revolting.”

Laios’s face was white. His fingers clenched in the fabric of his trousers, bloodless.

“Am I making the comparison clear enough?” Kabru asked.

“I don’t…” Laios said. “You’re not revolting to me.”

As much as he’d like to say otherwise, some small part of Kabru was relieved to hear it. Laios had said he liked him, had called him a friend, but Laios was so difficult to understand sometimes. And Kabru worried. He had always worried, ever since he met Laios.

“Thanks,” Kabru said, making light of it. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Laios didn’t smile. “The Winged Lion said some similar things to me,” he admitted. “And it’s true, there have been times in my life when I hated humans, when I wished for—um. Things that would probably scare you. But I also… know that I can’t ever really give up on being a human. Not just because of the curse…”

Laios ran his fingers through the downy feathers at the neck of his cloak, as if he was soothing himself.

“When I was a kid, I wanted to stop being human so badly it hurt. But when I was transformed, all I did was kill—I didn’t recognize anyone, not even the people I wanted to save most in the world. What I really wanted, all along, was to have it both ways. To be a monster, and also be myself.”

Taking a chance, Kabru reached out and took Laios’s hand. Broad and narrow, pale and dark, but they had the same callouses. He gave a squeeze.

“If you look at it the right way, I think you can have it both ways,” Kabru said. “Sort of.”

Laios frowned up at him.

“Let’s think about humans as a kind of monster,” Kabru went on. “What are their habits? Their strengths? What drives them, what makes them act like they do? I’ll teach you. Like I said, it’s really very interesting. Humans are driven by instinct as much as any other animal. They have predictable behaviors, once you understand the mechanisms.”

He squeezed again and then let go.

“Hunger, attraction, territoriality—We like to think we’re different than other creatures, but we’re really not,” Kabru said. “We’re just a bit more complicated, because of language.”

He opened the encyclopedia back up and paged through until he found the direwolf Laios had been chattering about earlier. “You said direwolves have a social family structure, just like humans. And just like humans, they can have abusive family dynamics, right? If the lead female bullies the younger females, the younger ones might rise up and kick her out of the pack, isn’t that what you said? So then, sometimes they don’t rise up. Why only sometimes?”

Laios blinked at Kabru’s finger. “You were listening to that?”

“I told you,” Kabru said. “I want to understand. When I watch you, I believe that there must still be some value in monsters. If you see something beautiful in them, then there must be something beautiful in them.”

He considered the illustration for a long moment, each tuft of fur with its own graceful motion, the detail rendered so closely, with such care of knife against block print.

“Things that are frightening can also be beautiful, don’t you think?”

#dungeon meshi #spoilers

[cubeapples]

I saw your anti-Jegulus post, and wanted to offer my two cents. I actually don’t personally mind Jegulus as a ship itself (I wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything, but I’m not too bothered by it), but I actually do think a lot of the fanon portrayals of Jegulus have constant hints of misogyny. For example, I’ve seen a lot of Jegulus fics/headcanons about Lily having a baby and essentially abandoning her family in order to leave room for Jegulus raising Harry. It’s a very tired cliche of fans of MLM ships trying to get women out of the way any way they can, as long as they can get use out of them first (in this scenario, Lily giving birth to Harry).

Another common thing I see is the criticism/opinion that Jily is boring (which is absolutely fair, everyone is entitled to their opinion) but then project a lot of Jily’s tropes onto Jegulus (some that I’ve seen are matching patronuses, James being extremely infatuated and pining over Regulus, or making Regulus’ personality identical to canon Lily’s and then turning Lily into a bland, one dimensional character). I think where people are coming from is that because of this, it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman. I also find myself genuinely wondering if Regulus would be as popular as he is now if he were a female character.

I don’t think people who like Jegulus are individually being misogynistic, I think it’s more of the general concept of Jegulus becoming popular and the treatment of all characters involved has strong undertones of misogyny.

This isn’t meant to be hateful or combative btw, so I hope it didn’t come off that way. I just saw your post and wanted to offer my perspective on it.

oh no worries anon, your message is clear. and you are right, the jegulus fandom is misogynistic in the way that you say that they are, and i dislike that.

but the point of my post is that you can't exactly be mysogynistic towards lily evans, because the author herself is already misogynistic towards her. my point was that jily is no better than jegulus.

think of it this way, lily evans, the mother of the protagonist of the series, whose love saved the protag’s life should have a more prominent role in the series. but instead, her whole life is portrayed to revolve around male characters. her role in ths story is reduced to being a mother. [i'm not saying motherhood is a bad thing, i just wish it was explored with more complexity and nuance.]

jily is also the most basic, misogynistic heterosexual pairing ever imo. james is immature, lily is mature, and james changed for her because he wanted her to like him.

that's it, that's literally it. the fact that james 'changed' himself is the more important part of their dynamic. lily herself is not shown having any feelings for james, and how she went through the process of forgiving him. james is this manchild, with atrocious behaviour and he's expected to change for lily. it's like lily isn't even her own person anymore!

i don't like the jily dynamics as well because james was lowkey blackmailing lily into dating him and the way that their romance is pprtrayed, it feels like she just eventually accepted it, after he 'changed.'

at this point, even though it was lily's love that saved harry's life, she is such a non-entity in the series. harry is portrayed to be more interested in learning about james, and lily is depicted as having NO concrete friends in canon! the mary detail in canon hardly counts because that scene was more focused on snape! another man. seriously! every aspect of her life revolves around some GUY.

not to mention, after she graduates, guess what. she stays at home to take care of the baby while james becomes a strong auror! are you seeing this?! she's a trad wife. she's literally a stay-at-home mum because she decided she wanted to get knocked up in the middle of the war. the only counter-point to this is if voldemort wasn't after harry, she might have gone to work, but it is iffy, too, because who decides it's a good idea to have a baby in the middle of a war? she could have fought alongside james but nooo she has to watch while james puts his invisibility cloak on to goof around with sirius while her baby's life is in danger.

"it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman." <- you're right anon, but this doesn't matter to me as i feel that both the ships are equally bad.

tl;dr: jily is also a lowkey misogynistic in my opinion. jegulus is just as bad, and you are right, some of its fans are misogynistic as well.

#anti jily #anti jegulus #anon.ask

[markantonys]

AMOL chapters 9-20

“[lan] remembered teaching that same concept [duty being heavier than a mountain] to a youth out of the two rivers. a sheepherder, innocent of the world, fearful of the fate laid out before him by the pattern.” 😭😭

update since last recap: gawene ARE officially married! “the marriage had been performed by silviana in a simple ceremony the night before.” and right now it’s morning, which must be at least the morning after the Big Meeting if not several mornings after. so they weren’t married yet in chapters 1-8 but they are now. why did it happen offscreen! why do the weddings i want to see keep happening offscreen (this + lanaeve) when we saw morgase and tallanvor’s, a wedding i could not care less about, onscreen! how could you deprive me of “clandestine wedding the night before we die in battle tomorrow” when that is my favorite wedding trope! yes we already got it with perrin and faile but i want it AGAIN!

“it still felt odd to know that egwene had authorized her own wedding. when you were the highest authority, what else could you do?” jkjfg incredible. now i’m thinking of rand and elayne legally authorizing themselves to marry each other as well as mat and avi and if anyone’s like “but you can’t marry 3 people!” they can say “well actually i’m the highest authority, so jot that down.”

“rand turned back to the maps. what he saw impressed him. elayne was preparing well.” proud husband!!

RANDLAYNE SCENE!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am going to break this down in so much detail with so many quotes that you’ll basically read the entire scene by reading this post, let’s go

it begins by rand being surprised when elayne enters the tent and elayne being surprised to find him there, which should not be possible since they’re bonded but whatever lmao for once with randlayne in this book that IS something small and harmless enough that i can happily suspend disbelief!

“now here was life. flushed cheeks, golden hair with a hint of honey and rose, eyes that burned like a bonfire. her dress of crimson showed the swell of the children she bore. light, she was beautiful.” completing the holy trinity of mat’s and aviendha’s loving descriptions of how beautiful elayne is! tragically rand is the only one who doesn’t mention her hair glowing in a conveniently placed source of light, but her eyes are glowing so half credit! he also notes later that she smells wonderful lmao

“rand al’thor, are you going to talk to me, or do you wish to ogle me further?” “if i can’t ogle you, whom can i ogle?” djfkgj i love them your honor!!! also this is so funny, “whom can i ogle if not you” rand says as if they both don’t know full well that he has 2 other girlfriends.

elayne scolds him for sneaking up on her and says “honestly, as if aviendha weren’t enough” (since avi snuck up on her a couple chapters ago) AVIRANDLAYNE THROUPLE TRUTHERS RISE!!!

both of them definitely show concern over secrecy and not wanting people to know that rand came to visit her, which is interesting, although neither mentions a specific reason for this. i assume it would be because they’re both two extremely high-profile leaders and they want to keep their personal relationship under wraps, and perhaps also because they wouldn’t want the other leaders to accuse rand of showing favoritism to elayne and things like that. which all makes perfect sense. except for the fact that bashere made elayne publicize the fact that rand is her babydaddy djfkgj so now what’s the point of sneaking around? sanderson never thinks to consider in depth other characters’ perception/public perception of rand’s various relationships (though rj started dropping off in the last couple books too, since mat and nynaeve stopped reacting to rand having multiple gfs despite being very pressed about it in LOC and WH respectively).

i’m totally onboard for them wanting to keep their relationship quiet for the above reasons, and in fact i defs think that’s the wisest course of action (even if my heart wants them to be a public power couple), but in that case sanderson should’ve a) not had elayne tell everyone rand’s her babydaddy and b) made it clear for the first 8 chapters that this was what was going on, so then their ignoring each other and needing to use third parties to find out what’s going on in the other person’s camp would’ve come off as a bona fide attempt to be discreet rather than Batshit Insanity. (and even then they should’ve had a quick scene right off the bat wherein one Traveled into the other’s tent, they reunited and talked about the babies, and then agreed to keep their distance until they could find another moment to meet in secret.)

“i am happy to see you, and i am glad you came. i’m just trying to get into my head how you fit into all of this. how we fit into all of this.” “i don’t know. i’ve never figured it out.” this seems like an allusion to the political complications their personal relationship poses, but again the idea is referred to in such a strangely vague way. we deserved books and books of rand and elayne dealing with the PR and political repercussions of their relationship! it would’ve been fascinating! instead we just get some sparse, vague, and conflicting moments.

“he knelt before her, getting a cocked eyebrow until he placed his hand on her belly - hesitantly, at first.” 😭😭🥺🥺 MY HEART

also, cracking up at elayne raising her eyebrow when rand starts to kneel, homegirl thought he was about to immediately start going down on her jkfjgh i mean hey rand DID say once that he wanted to kneel at elayne’s feet and worship her 👀 so i bet their all-day all-night sex marathon was crazy.

rand says that tam will be a grandfather 🥺 fucking introduce him to elayne then!

“he found that deep down, he’d hoped that someday he would be a father. it had happened. that gave him warmth. one thing was going right in the world, even if so many had gone wrong. children. his children. he closed his eyes, breathing in, enjoying the thought.” 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 MY HEART IS EXPLODING i take back what i said about Fratboy Rand (our new name for Zen Rand in case anybody missed that discussion in the replies on the last recap) being a deadbeat dad, he wants to be a dad he wants to know his babies!!!!

“he would never know them. he would leave them fatherless before they were even born.” NO STOP THAT [squirts him with a spraybottle]

“rand let himself go still as he felt her womb. was that motion? a kick?” okay google says that typically you can’t feel the baby move from the outside until end of second trimester or beginning of third trimester and there is NO WAY IN HELL that elayne is THAT pregnant right now! sanderson you’re killing me!! i can’t even cry over rand feeling the babies kick because i’m too distracted by the fucked up timeline of elayne’s pregnancy slash sanderson not bothering to look up timelines of pregnancy milestones jkfgj unless we are really supposed to believe that 6-7 months have passed since Randlayne Sex, but i do not buy that at all. WH was deep in winter and COT and KOD spanned very short time periods. i guess rand was in arad doman for a full month in TGS, and TOM also covered 1 month (it begins with rand telling egwene he’ll meet her at merrilor in 1 month). so at our most generous, by the end of WH 1 month has passed since Randlayne Sex (since rand WAS in far madding for some time, though i don’t actually think it was a whole month), COT-KOD is 1 month together, TGS is 1 month, and TOM is 1 month. elayne should not be more than 4 months pregnant, or 5 if we’re being EXTREMELY generous! definitely not 6 or 7!

elayne says she wants to name the boy rand. which would be weird if their dad rand was also part of her and their lives (i mean people name kids after their living and present parent irl often enough, but in books nobody does that) so i feel like she’s just already been long assuming that rand will either a) die in the last battle or b) be a deadbeat dad lmao

but rand asks her not to name either baby after him bc he wants them to live their own lives, awww. “my shadow will be long enough as it is” but they will still be stuck in it even if they aren’t literally named rand seeing as bashere made elayne tell everyone that they’re the dragon reborn’s kids!! sanderson you’re killing me again!

“he looked up to meet her eyes, and he found her smiling with fondness. she rested a smooth hand on his cheek. ‘you will be a fine father.’” 😭😭🥰🥰

god rand and elayne sitting down and talking about their babies and being soft and domestic!!!! unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i tweet about for the next week i’ve wanted this for years fuck what the fuck

“no talk of death, of duty.” “we cannot ignore what will happen.” “we needn’t dwell on it either. i taught you so much about being a monarch, rand. i seem to have forgotten one lesson. it is all right to plan for the worst possibilities, but you must not bask in them. you must not fixate on them.” and we have another Very Helpful Girlfriend Perspective that rand was deprived of until the final book when he was already mostly okay again! min clinging to hope and refusing to accept that rand might die + aviendha accepting it and assuaging him of guilt over her future pain because it’s her own choice to love him and endure that pain when it comes + elayne planning for it but not fixating on it and instead dwelling on present happiness = a perfectly balanced set of life outlooks that could’ve been immensely helpful to rand earlier in the series, but instead he got all of the first and none of the second or third.

elayne’s like “no more shoptalk i just want to have dinner with the man i love” and then they spend the entire meal talking about battle plans jfkgj they’re such workaholic nerds i love them!!!

rand is so full of praise for elayne’s battle strategy plans and tells her she has a head for it 🥰 but alas she deflects and says that it’s all the great generals’ doing, as well as bryne’s and her mother’s for teaching her. you ARE good at strategy elayne! on your own merits!

“the conversation reminded him of their time in tear, stealing hidden kisses in the stone between sessions of political training. rand had fallen in love with her during those days. real love. not the admiration of a boy falling off a wall, looking at a princess - back then, he hadn’t understood love any more than a farmboy swinging a sword understood war.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!!!! THE NOSTALGIA!!!

“their love was born of the things they shared. with elayne, he could speak of politics and the burden of rule. she understood. she truly did, better than anyone he knew. she knew what it was to make decisions that changed the lives of thousands. she understood what it was to be owned by the people of a nation.” YES!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE WHOLE SERIES!!!!!!! I’M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE!!!!!!!!!

god seriously elayne IS the one that knows him best. for so many books the narrative kept trying to insist that title fell to min, but it’s elayne, and here it acknowledges that! min and rand were always telling us that she knew him better than anyone, but we were never shown that. instead, we saw min constantly making incorrect assumptions about rand, misunderstanding him, not being aware of things that were going on with him, etc. whereas elayne, despite barely getting screentime WITH him, has throughout the series often thought or told others “rand would probably react to X in Y way” and been spot on every time, and has been able to correctly work out his motives after hearing second- or third- or fourthhand reports about an action he took. in salidar, when they agreed they shouldn’t tell rand about the viewing of 3 women loving him, elayne’s reasoning was, accurately, that it would make him try to push them away to protect them, whereas min’s reasoning was that if rand knew about the viewing he’d want to take advantage of having 3 hot women on tap. when rand went to caemlyn in WH, elayne clocked his saidin dizziness and the fact that he was avoiding channeling within SECONDS of seeing him again, whereas min, who’d been with him for weeks at that point, never noticed a thing.

i absolutely stand by the statement that the only reason elayne wasn’t narratively allowed to spend time with rand is because she would’ve been too helpful to him and interfered with his downward spiral arc.

and here again now, elayne immediately notices a small facial cue of rand’s and asks him about it, which prompts him to confide in her about how upset he is that so many people will die for him in the coming battles.

“rand found it remarkable that, though they had often been apart, their connection held. in fact, it felt even stronger. now that elayne was queen, now that they shared the children growing within her.” ❤️❤️ this line could’ve so easily felt like “author attempting to justify a relationship that’s disproportionately strong for the little screentime it got” but it doesn’t, because the individual characters have been developed so well, and the relationship in its little screentime, that i believe this 100%, it doesn’t feel forced at all or like the narrative’s trying to Tell me something it never Showed me. somehow randlayne manages to be the best canon romantic pairing despite having like 3.5 scenes together in 14 books. their power!!

“‘i feel as if i should be able to do more, now that i remember. he tried to break me, and he failed.’ ‘is that what happened that day atop dragonmount?’ he hadn’t spoken of it to anyone. he pulled his seat closer to hers.” and he proceeds to confide in her about the dragonmount epiphany! which he hasn’t spoken of to anyone else! not even min, who was demonstrably completely unaware of what had happened up there in the previous book (i forget the context but i remember commenting on how it revealed that rand hadn’t told her anything about the epiphany). because ELAYNE is the one that truly understands him best, the one he feels most comfortable confiding in about his deepest feelings and struggles!!!!

“‘and you remember lews therin now?’ she whispered. ‘everything he knew? that is not just an air you put on?’ ‘i am him. i always was. i remember it now.’ elayne breathed out, eyes widening. ‘what an advantage.’ of all the people he had told that to, only she had responded in such a way. what a wonderful woman.” LIKE!!!! 🥰🥰 when rand talked about LTT’s memories like they were his own, min thought about how she hates when he talks like that and how it makes her uncomfortable and how he seems mad, and when rand then told her outright about him being LTT etc she was weirded out at the thought that he’s Not Really The Same Person anymore. but elayne just goes “oh that rocks!” what a wonderful woman indeed!!!

“he never quite knew what she was going to say or do, and that excited him. like the excitement of watching nightflowers, knowing that what was to come would be beautiful, but never knowing the exact form that beauty would take.” ROMANCE!!! also, rand comparing elayne to fireworks, which are mat’s beloved - matrandlayne rights!!!!

rand knows that elayne has the Talent of creating ter’angreal! i’m not sure if he’s ever alluded to it before, so i’m glad to have confirmation that he knows. and he gives her a Seed which can be used to create an angreal. “when i found it, forgotten, i thought of you.” romance!!

and elayne gives rand the knife ter’angreal that hides the bearer from the shadow! finally that extremely handy knife that was ignored for several books comes back into play! let’s see if rand actually ends up using it.

“she reached up to touch his face. he placed his hand on hers. they stayed together long into the night.” ❤️❤️❤️ romance!! rand gets to Kneel And Worship long into the night, hell yeah!

overall thoughts: LOVED THIS SCENE it was finally the sort of randlayne scene that i’ve been waiting for ever since book 4! since the 1 other time they saw each other since then, the two of them pretty much didn’t have a meaningful individual interaction, it was all about the 3 women confessing their feelings to rand and then as soon as rand and elayne were left alone we cut right over to min to experience their first time through her pov, and by the time we went back to elayne pov rand had already left. but THIS scene was so wonderful, it was romantic, it was fluffy, it was serious, it was complicated, it was supportive. one scene, and it’s so clear how truly compatible they are, how easily and how deeply they GET each other. they understand each other so well yet also have different opinions about some things and aren’t afraid to disagree with each other, but when they DO disagree they resolve it through calm discussion rather than losing tempers or getting petty.

i take back everything i’ve said over the past 3 books about sanderson not getting randlayne because he totally nailed them in this scene. well maybe i don’t take back EVERYTHING because there were definitely some things in TGS, TOM, and the first 8 chapters of AMOL that i was Quite Annoyed about. i take back SOME things. but on the whole, one very happy customer over here! and i bet randlayne won’t have another dedicated scene for the rest of the series, so i’m glad that this one was so wonderful. i do kinda feel like sanderson’s just checking off boxes like “okay, rand and aviendha had their scene alone, don’t have to show them anymore, rand and elayne got their scene, that’s all done” lmao

egwene mentions that other sisters know she’s married to gawyn, which confirms what i’ve been suspecting for a while but forgot to comment on before, that the amyrlin seat not being allowed to have a romantic relationship is only a thing in the show verse and not the book verse. (it IS a thing in the show verse right? i’m not misremembering that that was one reason why moiraine and siuan had to sneak around, it wasn’t just that they have to keep secret that they’re in cahoots regarding TDR?) anyway, assuming i’m remembering correctly, this could have some exciting implications for the show version of gawene! think of the extra layer of sweet sweet angst that would cause in their TGS/TOM issues where gawyn wants a more all-encompassing relationship than egwene is able to give him (all-encompassing as in he wants to be her boyfriend all the time everywhere, not just in certain contexts).

i have JUST ABOUT HAD IT with birgitte and her condescending babysitter’s attitude towards elayne. i think it’s come to the point where i genuinely dislike her now, which is so sad because i used to absolutely adore her and her relationship with elayne.

good news: elayne and tam had an interaction! bad news: it was only battlefield commands and they showed no sign of knowing each other on a personal level

“she’d heard rand brag about his bow, and she’d seen a two rivers longbow used on occasion” oh i’ll bet she did. last night, for instance.

now that i think about it it’s hilarious that mat was The Archer of the group in eotw and then never again. at the time of reading eotw i was like “i can’t believe the show gave rand mat’s bow skills in addition to sword and channeling skills and made mat just a useless twink” but now i see why they did that because the books also took away mat’s bow skills after eotw. mat can be a useless twink for a while until he gets his knives and ashandarei, as a treat.

speaking of the useless twink, here he is fucking about in ebou dar when LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE is in the middle of fighting the last battle!!

“rand should have just hidden [in the rahad], instead of going up to fight the last battle. the trollocs and darkfriends would have come for him, and the rahad would have left them all unconscious in an alley” so mat is worried about rand??? i have to find my cauthor crumbs wherever i can since mat has denied me real moments by going to fuck about in ebou dar!

things that happened to mat in ebou dar: getting raped repeatedly and turned into a sex slave, getting attacked by a gholam, having a wall fall on him and nearly kill him, being subjugated by invaders, being trapped in the city by his abuser for weeks, watching hundreds die because he tried to free them and feeling responsible for it

mat’s constant emotional state in ebou dar: anxious, nauseous, scared, depressed, self-hating, trapped

mat now on ebou dar: “he was surprised at how familiar, even comfortable, this city felt. he had liked it here.” “he now realized that his time in ebou dar had been among the best of his life.” “strangely, this place felt more like home to him than the two rivers did.”

like. WHAT???? i mean. WHAT??????? and i scream at the top of my lungs, what’s going on!!!!!

i know that “footage not found” is my favorite thing to say about the second half of the series, but holy shit this has got to be the worst instance of it yet!!!!! i don’t even have any rants to make, i’m simply speechless.

he also reflects on tylin as “a fun game” and hopes to have plenty of other women like that, but then notes that tuon is like that and he won’t need any others since she’s enough of a handful. this poor man has been gaslit so badly into thinking an abusive partner is desirable! i’m not even mad at mat anymore, i just feel sorry for him and the miserable life he’s been forced into and convinced himself he loves.

someone thinks mat is an assassin after tuon. man i wish!!! that would’ve been so sexy

once again mat frets about assassins being after tuon and wants to find out info to stop them. dammit mat!! this is the opposite of a problem!!

“‘sheepherder,’ lan said. rand raised an eyebrow. lan saluted him, arm cross his chest, bowing his head.” 😭😭

RAND HAS FOUND FAT LITTLE MAN ANGREAL MY BELOVED!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 i literally punched the air in delight when i read this!

look at this! i’m going back to reassure my past self that it will be okay and rand will find our emotional support fat little man angreal again! rand notes that no one knows he has it and that this is important. what if fat little man angreal my beloved ends up being the key to defeating the dark one!!

walmart: choedan kal gucci: fat little man angreal

rand destroying the choedan kal and now finding fat little man angreal again symbolizes him turning his back on power for power’s sake and returning to his good boy roots. now if only he would give up tai’daishar and get back his good boy horse, jeade’en. except jeade’en might have been eaten by trollocs since he might have still been in caemlyn when they attacked and elayne said the trollocs ate all the palace horses!!!!

“i will beat you, taim! i will finally do what i should have months ago!” no SHIT you should’ve done it months ago, rand. also i mistyped taim as tim at first jkfjgh somehow “i will beat you, tim!” doesn’t have the same gravitas.

rand goes to his dreamshard, which looks like a peaceful valley, and he’s wearing simple two rivers clothing. “he placed sturdy boots on his feet, like those he’d worn growing up. they fit him in a way that no new boot, no matter how well made, ever could. he wasn’t allowed old boots any longer. if his boots showed a hint of wear, one servant or another made them vanish.” 😭😭 baby boy!! rand and mat should meet up to discuss Boots As Metaphor For Class And The Burdens Of Leadership.

rand sees lanfear and we get some nice little tidbits of LTT Backstory. he says that lanfear just wanted him as an accessory, but also he has memories of walking into parties with her on his arm and having sex with her yet he never truly loved her. Fratboy LTT! lmao

i’m wondering if lanfear is going to ever Do anything by the end of the book. if not, then a) what was the point of not killing her off for good in TFOH and b) it will make so much sense if they give her mesaana’s plot in the show, since mesaana does nothing in the first half of the series and lanfear does nothing in the second half.

egwene and the aes sedai going apeshit on trollocs was pretty cool, but overall i’m getting tired and bored of all the battle scenes. and i’m only a third into an entire book about The Last Battle lmao

elayne mentions that rand occasionally visits her in her camp in the braem wood! fuck yeah!! and a little later she mentions rand’s failure against the dreadlords! they are visiting each other and telling each other about the things that happened to them while they were apart!

“‘these tactics aren’t bad,’ tam said, reading the orders. ‘the queen has a good head for warfare.’” father-in-law stamp of approval!!! ❤️

but perrin replies “she listens well to those who know their tactics and she doesn’t interfere.” jesus christ i KNOW perrin did NOT just say that elayne, the high commander of the forces of the light, works best when she’s shutting up and sitting quietly while men do all the work. fuck you to hell and back, perrin! and alas, tam goes on to say that that’s what he meant. i agree with the overall point that a good leader is one who knows how to listen to and take advice from others, but it being centered around undermining a young woman’s competence in favor of older men’s is very yikes. i feel like elayne’s military strategy skills are being unfairly retconned away in this book, because in previous books she’s been shown to be pretty good at military strategy because bryne taught her a lot about it. or actually, in this book elayne is showing good strategy skills but other characters tell us that it’s mostly the great generals doing the work and elayne herself minimizes her own contributions when rand compliments her. sigh.

“someone needs to watch rand’s back, and it...well, it’s going to be me. i know it, somehow.” i hate this sudden narrative that perrin is rand’s best boy when for 13 books it was mat! why the fuck isn’t mat here right now? why the fuck am i not getting my 3 boy besties teaming up together at the last battle AS I WAS NARRATIVELY PROMISED SINCE BOOK FUCKING ONE????

i was saying this before on a specific post i made complaining about mat going to ebou dar, but it would’ve made soooo much more sense if mat went to merrilor with moiraine and we got our full ef5 reunion and a nice scene of the 3 boys chilling together and catching up for the first time since TSR, and then rand finds out mat’s married to the seanchan empress and the two of them go to ebou dar together to rope her into the alliance, or maybe mat goes alone first to meet up with tuon and then rand arrives later so it doesn’t look like they plotted together to ambush her. like, if mat needed to be in ebou dar to a) spend more time with tuon and b) be present to mediate the rand-tuon alliance, then sanderson could’ve just sent him there on rand’s behalf after they’ve had a chance to reunite and plan together. same goals accomplished without breaking mat’s characterization by having him voluntarily go back to the location where he was the most miserable in the entire series and claim that he always loved it there and had such great times.

perrin makes tam a lord because i guess the two rivers is now so far up nobility’s asses that they won’t accept tam taking over perrin’s authority unless he’s a lord. “steward over the two rivers in the name of his son, the dragon reborn” that’s cute though ❤️

gaul is another minor male character like talmanes that i feel the fandom is disproportionately obsessed with. people are ready to grab pitchforks at the prospect of him being cut from the show! gaul is a nice dude and i like him, but it would not affect my life in any way if he didn’t make it into the show lmao but i AM glad he’s going with perrin to the wolf dream, it’s nice to see perrin have a friend who isn’t his wife or a subordinate. and i WOULD really enjoy seeing gaul/chiad/bain adapted in the show in a way that explicitly acknowledges this is a bi love triangle rather than trying to frame it as chiad’s male love interest and ~very close female friend~ fighting over her. i absolutely love the concept of first-sisters, but only when it doesn’t feel like a blatant No Homo on rj’s part, as it does with elayne-avi and bain-chiad. amys and lian, on the other hand, i would be equally happy to see kept as platonic sister-wives as i would be to see them made each other’s wives.

perrin mentions that aviendha is with rand when he goes to find him! and he does not say that min is there 😌 although i can’t imagine where else she’d be if not barnacled to rand’s side, so maybe she is there and perrin just didn’t think it was important enough to mention.

“i only need [rand] for a moment.” “you have this moment and many, perrin. i owe you dearly.” perrin has really not done ALL that much for you, rand. his one real job was to deal with masema, which he waffled over for like 5 books before faile finally took care of it! once again i’m totally seeing that perrin is sanderson’s favorite.

rand tells perrin to watch out for mat, concerned husband!

“‘may the light shelter you, perrin aybara.’ ‘and you, rand al’thor.’ perrin hesitated, and realized what was happening. they were saying goodbye. he took rand in an embrace.” 🥺🥺🥺 okay since sanderson took over we’ve gotten a mat-perrin hug and now a rand-perrin hug, he better come through with a mat-rand hug!

perrin says that defeating slayer will be key to dealing with the black tower situation, and it turns out that slayer’s anti-gateway dome is covering the black tower. ooh taim should’ve been slayer if he wasn’t demandred! that would’ve been neat and would’ve given slayer some much-needed narrative relevance. i like that solution much better than taimandred actually, since taim and slayer are both unsexy and can therefore be merged whereas demandred is too sexy to deserve being taim.

interesting dynamic of lanfear helping perrin in TAR! i feel like she’s hovered just on the edge of being a compelling villain throughout the series, so i’m hoping the show can pull back the curtain on her some more and shed more light on her characterization and motivations. AOL flashbacks to her relationship with LTT and decision to join the shadow would be excellent!

“my suffering goes beyond what you could conceive” babygirl i’ve undergone suffering you wouldn’t even believe

perrin going “it’s so unfair that channelers can be turned to the shadow against their will!” coming in with a solid No Shit Sherlock moment jkfg he’s like “does rand know that this is possible?” boy rand has known about this since book TWO get with the program!

mat is breaking into the tarasin palace to see tuon. imagine how romantic it would be if he was breaking into the caemlyn palace to see elayne! we were robbed.

in good news, this chapter does acknowledge that mat’s time in ebou dar was Not So Great Actually and does a decent job presenting the argument that mat is lying to himself when he says that he misses it and that he liked being with tylin. there are a few lines that do this, but most notably: “he had lived in this palace, free to come and go. for the most part. he scratched at his neck, and the scarf he wore there. for a moment it felt like a ribbon that felt like a chain.” this is a really good line and i am very happy to see it, but also so very sad because it really hits home how depressing mat’s endgame fate is. more than any other character, all he ever wanted was to be free, and he ends up with a stronger chain around his neck than any other character has in the end. i just don’t see how anybody could interpret mat’s arc as anything but a tragedy. and i do think that under sanderson’s pen the narrative does commit to it being a tragedy (there are some really heartbreaking lines in this chapter showing so clearly that mat is desperate to be loved but tuon only sees him as a tool) if not fully, at least moreso than it did under rj’s, where he treated their whole courtship in COT and KOD like a fun little romcom. and i think sanderson has also committed more fully to tuon being a villain rather than rj going “yes she enslaves people but all her slaves love her uwu” but on the other hand, sanderson!tuon shows more affection for mat (as in, 0.01 ounce of affection rather than 0 ounces) than rj!tuon did, so i don’t know.

“if tuon wanted to live in a city where the head of her armies was trying to have her assassinated, that was her choice.” i agree! leave her to her fate! this whole passage, props to sanderson for nailing the classic “mat complains about how that idiot other character is asking for trouble and he’s not gonna save their ass, while actively going out of his way to save their ass despite them not asking for his help” but also it was usually rand and elayne who got that attitude from mat and tuon does not deserve it jfkg

“if rand was up north, where all the trollocs were, then mat wanted to be as far from the man as possible. he felt bad for rand, but any sane person would see that mat’s choice was the only one. the swirl of colors started to form, but mat suppressed it. [paragraph break so that these following 2 sentences stand alone in their own paragraph, which i think is important] rational. he would be very rational.” i was about to blow my lid and say that this is wildly ooc for mat and is TDR mat behavior and erases all the growth he had in terms of coming to accept rand and his own responsibilities thereto. and i still say those things, but i am not blowing my lid because the end of the excerpt and especially the “rational. he would be very rational.” does a pretty good job of conveying that mat IS lying to himself about not wanting to go help rand with the last battle and that he secretly feels guilty for not being there. or maybe i’m just so desperate to believe that mat’s character hasn’t been entirely butchered that i’m grasping at straws jkdjfg but in TGS and TOM mat WAS totally prepared to bring the dragons and the band to help rand at the last battle and also told the aes sedai to tell egwene to make sure the horn of valere was ready for him, so i can’t say that this about-face is entirely sanderson’s fault since he did show in the prior 2 books that he understood that mat was ready and willing to help at the last battle. i wouldn’t be surprised if mat fucking off to ebou dar instead of going to merrilor was in rj’s notes and sanderson had no choice but to go with it.

selucia: “if [being called Highness] bothers you, cauthon, you have a very irritating life ahead of you. there is only one way to stop being the prince of the ravens, and that is to find your neck in a cord.” another very good line. it’s played for laughs on the surface, but it also shows a narrative awareness that this fate IS really terrible for mat. and the entire chapter, which revolves around mat and tuon’s reunion which you might think the narrative would want to frame as romantic (and in some places it does), is titled “your neck in a cord” so i think that that choice of title for this chapter definitely undercuts the ~romantic moments~ and shows awareness of The Tragedy Of Mat.

we move to rand who is just returning from another visit to elayne! ❤️❤️ i’m glad sanderson is at least making it clear that they’re in regular contact and spending time together even if he doesn’t bother to show any meeting but the first. haha in the previous 2 books i was certain that he loved rand/min the most and didn’t give a shit about rand/avi or rand/elayne, but in this book, once the initial weirdness of them avoiding each other was moved past, rand/elayne has been getting the best treatment and being depicted as the most important of rand’s relationships. we’re 300 pages in and min has still barely been mentioned at all! love it.

we also learn that their visits are no longer secretive: rand is walking openly through the camp and tells us, “elayne had made her armies aware of his earlier visit. i lead these armies, she had said as they parted last time, but you are their heart. you gathered them, rand. they fight for you. please let them see you when you come.” god the power couple-ness of it all!!!! if only mat was here, just imagine the power throuple-ness of the dragon reborn, the high commander of the armies of the light, and the greatest general of the age.

rand visits tam!! this whole scene is so wonderful!! too many wonderful moments and lines to call out all of them.

rand gives tam a new sword to replace the heron-marked blade (sob. i want the heron-marked blade and jeade’en to join fat little man angreal in coming back to rand at the end of it all!) and i think this must be the mysterious sword that he acquired before TGS and was cryptic about. he’s still so cryptic about it here! “it belonged...to a kindred soul.” what’s the point of stringing me along like this sanderson just tell me where the stupid sword came from! my only theory is maybe it was LTT’s sword since later in rand’s narration is “he’d never had a chance to fight with it” and that line is in its own paragraph which feels significant. but wait no then it turns out that rand hasn’t fought with a sword since losing his hand, so that’s probably actually what that line meant. who did this fucking sword belong to and why is it worth dragging out like this!!

“this is too fine a gift, son.” “nothing is too fine for you. nothing.”❤️❤️ “think of it as a thank-you, from all the world to you.” ❤️❤️

argh rand once again calls tam by his first name to his face! but then 2 pages later he calls him “father.” sanderson what are you doing!! this is such a tiny point but it makes me so mad djkfjg definitely one of my Unimportant Wheel Of Time Hills I Have Chosen To Die On (we all have some)

“to think. if you hadn’t wanted me to be a good archer [by teaching him the flame and the void], i’d have never have learned the thing that kept me sane through the rough times.” 😭❤️

“people’s eyes tended to slide off [his missing hand], as if they were seeing a gray man. they didn’t like the idea that their dragon reborn was flawed. he never let them know how tired he felt, inside.” 😭😭

and rand and tam swordfight for a while which is some nice father-son bonding and also rand fiiiiinally reacting to and working through the loss of his hand! what a good scene! i have for the moment taken Fratboy Rand’s title away from him because he has been a good boy so far in this chapter chunk lmao

rand mentions a gray man metaphor above and then there’s a real gray man in mat’s next section, and rand had also used a moss metaphor and then mat notes the moss in the garden with the same “moss still lived” line. parallels!

“mat was pretty sure rand was to blame [for plants dying]. rand or the dark one. mat could trace every bloody problem in his life to one or the other. those flaming colors...” mat why don’t you give rand a kiss on the lips and maybe you’ll calm down

“he had married her...she had married him back” why did that make me laugh so much

i’m so mad because this description of tuon practicing wrestling or whatever fistfighting she’s doing would be so sexy if i didn’t hate her so much jfkjg show come through and make her evil in a sexy way instead of a gross way and then make her redeem herself in a sexy way! and the moment of mat throwing the knife at her but actually the gray man behind her and she instinctively turns to look behind her instead of assuming mat is trying to kill her could also have been so godtier in a proper, well done enemies-to-lovers arranged-marriage-to-real-love dynamic. but instead it’s probably just tuon knowing mat’s wrapped far too tightly around her finger like a good little slave to even think of killing her :(

min and min/rand i never would have found that compelling even if the ship had been done to the best of its potential because the ground layer of that character and ship are simply not that interesting to me, but tuon and mat/tuon............................[gazes off into the distance thinking of all we could’ve had]

i think that because it’s been so long since i last saw mat and tuon onscreen together (like, super long since i’ve been so slow about reading these last few books) i WAS able to read this first moment almost in a vacuum and appreciate the good stuff for a page until tuon opened her mouth lmao

“you must not stay away. you are important to the empire, and i have use for you.” “sounds delightful.” / “did you save her? the one you went to rescue?” “how did you know about that?” “i have decided not to be jealous. you are fortunate. the missing eye suits you. before, you were too pretty.” / “good to see you, by the way. usually, when a fellow says something like that, it’s customary to tell them that you’re happy to see them as well.” “i am the empress now. i do not wait upon others, and do not find it ‘good’ that someone has returned. their return is expected, as they serve me.” “you know how to make a fellow feel loved.” it is so clear how absolutely MISERABLE mat is going to be in this marriage. despite his protests about not wanting to get married, he does want love, he wants to be loved and appreciated as a person, but tuon only sees him as a tool and thinks of him in terms of how he can be useful to her, and yet mat desperately laps up whatever tiny little scraps of would-be affection she throws his way (like later when she says it’s good to see him and he’s like yay i’ll take that for now!). The Tragedy Of Mat!!!

“when you saw me with a dagger in hand - as if to throw at you - you didn’t call for your guards. you didn’t fear i was here to kill you. you looked over your shoulder to see what i was aiming at. that’s the most loving gesture i think a man could receive from a woman.” like this is GOOD??? i LIKED this! if only tuon wasn’t Like That then i could enjoy this moment properly! even so, this line + the actual knife throwing scene a page earlier is my favorite mat/tuon moment of the series. which is like saying “my favorite war crime in history” but yknow.

“she did not reply. light, but she seemed cold. was it all going to be different, now that she was the empress? he could not have lost her already, could he?” mat i do not know WHAT delusions you were previously operating under that you ever thought she wasn’t cold or that you “had” her lmao! she is behaving exactly the same as she always has been!

tuon now rewards his good behavior with sex just like how she rewarded his good behavior with a kiss in KOD (i think it was that book). i 100000% subscribe to @butterflydm​’s theory that tuon is using slave breaking methods on mat (rewarding good behavior with treats, refusing to acknowledge his original name and instead forcing a new one on him until he begins responding to it - all things we’ve seen sul’dam do to damane). actually that’s not even a theory, it’s just a fact that that’s what she’s doing.

“i would not have said the words i did if i had found in you only a toy. a man missing an eye is no toy anyway. you have known battle; everyone who sees you now will know that. they will not mistake you for a fool, and i have no use for a toy. i shall have a prince instead.” a tiny bit of progression since she no longer views him as a toy or a fool, but she’s still seeing him as an object. only considering how he can be useful to her and how having him on her arm will affect public perception of her. she wants a nice Real Warrior to parade around and show off to everyone.

tuon when she brings a wild dangerous lion into her home and then he someday destroys it from the inside: surprised pikachu

i wish we could’ve gotten that spinoff of mat taking down the seanchan empire (if that’s what outriggers would’ve been about, which for my own sanity i must assume it would’ve been). then The Tragedy Of Mat would be a good launching point for that story, rather than an unsatisfying endgame.

“loial, son of arent, son of halan, had secretly always wanted to be hasty.” gasp! scandalous!

“it is nearly time for me to go.” “to battle?” “no, to mat. he is in ebou dar.” rand misses his man!!!

we finally learn the last thing about callandor, and it’s that it’s a sa’angreal for the true power as well as the one power! rand just suddenly knows this and doesn’t explain how - LTT memory maybe? - so i guess min’s 5 books of callandor research were completely useless lmao excellent, looks like we can officially begin and end the list of min’s plot contributions with “helping siuan escape the tower”

moiraine makes a vague allusion to mat having ancient memories that flies over rand’s head. it KILLS me that they never had a talk about their shared experience of having ancient memories!! also, wasn’t rand kind of aware that mat had ancient memories back in TFOH? or no i guess he only knew that he’d suddenly gained lots of battle strategy knowledge, but he didn’t know where it came from.

“why go to ebou dar?” because his husband is there, moiraine! he already said that!

rand is really STILL out there saying he’s gonna KILL the LITERAL DARK ONE. [1x01 moiraine intro monologue voice] the arrogance

“‘well,’ she said. ‘i am still in need of a cup of tea.’ rand looked at her, incredulous. then he laughed and walked away to bring her some.” 🥺

some dumbass tries to tell lan to talk tenobia and the other saldaean women out of joining the battle and lan claps back with: “i’ve seen saldaean woman spar. if i were to place a bet on a contest between one of them and a man from any army in the south, i’d bet on the saldaean any day...this war is everything or nothing. if i could round up each woman in the borderlands and put a sword in her hands, i would. for now, i’ll settle for not doing something stupid - like forbidding some trained and passionate soldiers from fighting.” FEMINIST KING LAN MANDRAGORAN 👑👑👑👑👑 so much love to him for being The First man in all of wheel of time to not be Weird about women going into battle!!! oh this was so satisfying.

poor mat wakes up naked in the garden with soldiers all around and tuon acts like this is normal and he’s stupid for being embarrassed. the rest of his life is going to be SO MISERABLE for him.

and finally, drumroll please.......................CAUTHOR REUNION!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay now that that’s out of the way, it was actually kind of a letdown i’m not gonna lie lmao but let’s get into it!

“rand looked older, more weathered, than the last time mat had seen him in person. of course, he had seen the man recently in those blasted visions. although mat had trained himself to stop thinking of rand to avoid those colors, he still slipped on occasion.” mat HAD TO TRAIN HIMSELF to STOP THINKING ABOUT RAND oh my god mat. and still slips on occasion! on occasion? mat, you are thinking about rand and getting pressed about the visions like once a chapter! perrin sure didn’t have to train himself to stop thinking about rand, i’ll tell you that.

“anyway, seeing rand in person was different.” seeing rand in person is DIFFERENT, you guys. mat is shook!

“it had been...light, how long had it been? the last time i saw him with my own eyes was when he sent me to salidar after elayne. that felt like an eternity ago. it had been before he had come to ebou dar, before he had seen the gholam for the first time. before tylin, before tuon.” 😭😭😭 especially with that last sentence, this reads so much like mat seeing his gay lover for the first time after tylin and tuon forced him through a conversion therapy arc to make him a proper heterosexual husband. i’m hurting!!! that interpretation of mat’s arc changed me as a person.

“rand did not seem the least bit worried; his face was calm. he wore a nice coat of red and black, a white shirt underneath, black trousers.” “rand watched the man go, nonchalant though he was bound. you know, mat thought idly, he kind of does look like a king.” mat really wants us to know how hot and fuckable Daddy Rand is right now, thank you mat.

tuon thinks that mat was just playing her last night and was actually luring rand to her. man i wish! but rand jumps in to tell her not to blame mat, protective husband <3

mat gets bound by the power. his gut assumption is that it’s rand doing it - heartbreaking - but it turns out it’s a damane, and tuon stole the medallion off him while he slept - heartbreaking. remember when rand refused to help moiraine get the medallion from mat? remember when elayne turned down the medallion when mat offered it to her in a dangerous situation because she wanted him to keep it and be safe? and meanwhile tuon steals it from him while he’s sleeping to protect herself. mat deserves better 2k22

“‘thanks a bundle for this,’ mat muttered to rand. ‘you’re such a bloody good friend.’ ‘it’s good to see you too,’ rand said, a hint of a smile on his lips. ‘here we go,’ mat said with a sigh. ‘you’ve pulled me into trouble again. you always do this.’” THEY ARE SO MARRIED this takes me back specifically to rhuidean when mat was like “well i won’t wait for you! so there! you better not think i will!” and rand was like, smiling, “of course i wouldn’t think that of you mat.” Poor Mat, His Husband Gets Him Into So Much Trouble! and fond husband rand just going “ah classic mat, i love this fool”

(also, might i add that “it’s good to see you” was tuon’s alleged big romantic line to mat just 2 chapters ago? 👀👀)

“‘you think you could stay away from me?’ rand asked, smiling.” rand knows mat is whipped for him god bless

amidst all his complaints mat slips in right away “what did you do to your hand, by the way?” concerned husband 🥺 “lost it capturing one of the forsaken.” “capturing? you’re growing soft.” proud husband who knows rand could kick any forsaken’s ass any day of the week! also good for him for unknowingly roasting rand for refusing to kill semirhage Because She’s A Woman lmao

“he glanced to the side. ‘you look nice, by the way. you’ve been taking better care of yourself lately.’ ‘so you do care,’ rand said. ‘of course i do,’ mat grumbled.” 😭😭😭 MARRIED!!!! also, mat, if i was going to tell my friend that they looked healthy and in a good state i would say that they looked “well” or they looked “good” i would not say that they looked NICE, MAT that’s gay. in what world is “you look nice” a comment on anything but somebody’s physical appearance in terms of attractiveness rather than in terms of health, mat. if i told somebody they looked nice they would immediately assume i was complimenting their attractiveness or their outfit or something, mat.

“‘i mean, you have to keep yourself alive, right? go have your little duel with the dark one and keep us all safe? it’s good to know you’re looking up to it.’ ‘that’s nice to hear,’ rand said, smiling.” mat is IN LOVE with rand and rand knows it and that’s why he spends this entire conversation smiling like a fool. mat’s like “you look nice. um i mean healthy and stuff! and i only care because you have to stay alive to fight the dark one to save everybody!” and rand’s just smiling because mat called him hot, no takebacks <3

and unfortunately that’s about the last of it as the rest of the scene is all about tuon being The Worst

mat immediately upon hearing tuon declare that she’s going to take his best friend captive and bring him back to seanchan: “mat smiled. light, but she made a good empress.” ?????????? WHAT THE HELL MAT also he always does this about not only the shittiest things she does but also the stupidest. like she’ll make some completely empty ego-based threat and he’s like “wow she’s such a good empress!” have any of her wild claims and threats ever ACTUALLY happened, mat? no they have not.

however, he does immediately follow this up with “there was no need to filch my medallion, though, he thought. they were going to have words about that. assuming he survived this. she would not really execute him would she?” tuon taking away mat’s possessions - and a possession that is extremely meaningful to him and makes him feel safe - is another one for the list of abusive partner markers that she displays. all together, this paragraph reads so much like somebody who is subconsciously aware that he’s in an abusive relationship but doesn’t quite know how to verbalize it to himself :(

“you know, mat thought, he does a fair job of sounding like a king too.” okay mat being into Empress Tuon can retroactively have half a right only because it implies that a bi panic is going on when paired with this line about rand jfkgj

rand flexes on tuon so hard and it’s SO sexy. “rand stepped forward. ‘i held the loyalty and fealty of all seventeen generals of dawn’s gate. fortuona athaem devi paendrag, my authority supersedes your own! ‘artur hawkwing-’ ‘my authority supersedes that of hawkwing! if you claim rule by the name of he who conquered, then you must bow before my prior claim. i conquered before hawkwing, though i needed no sword to do so. you are here on my land, empress, at my sufferance!’ thunder broke in the distance. mat found himself shaking.” yeah i’ll bet that mat Ruler Kink cauthon is shaking after that 🥵🥵

“i allowed you to live when i could have destroyed you in an instant” rand can you please just destroy her in an instant, christ!

mat persuades tuon that rand is trustworthy: “he’s a good fellow. he’s rough at the corners sometimes, but you can trust his word. if he’s offering you a treaty, he’ll make good on it.” “i grew up with rand. i vouch for him.”

and finally, perhaps the most romantic love declaration in all of WOT, “you can trust rand al’thor with the world itself.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

the cinematic parallels to rand defending mat to tuon back in TGS and saying he’s a good man and a loyal friend!!!!

“you called them my forces. they are our forces. you are one of us now, matrim.” “well, i guess i am at that.” stop harshing my vibe!! leave me alone i just wanna sit here and enjoy my cauthor!

speaking of harshing my vibe, UGH the deal ends up being that tuon can keep all the damane she’s already collared!!!! rand at least makes a halfhearted attempt to make her release all the ones she’s taken from the westlands before folding like a damn chair as soon as she goes “no :)” and mat just stands there and doesn’t even try. this is so fucking frustrating and it’s SO unnecessary!!!!! narratively, WHY did this need to happen? why couldn’t rand have gotten her to agree to release all the damane she’s taken from the westlands? even that is still far below what SHOULD be the endgame here - the total collapse of the seanchan empire wherein every slave in the whole empire is freed and all the lands they took in the westlands are released - so why couldn’t we have had tuon be forced to make ONE fucking concession? she almost got pulled by ta’veren sway and agreed to rand’s terms in TGS, she should be extra susceptible now that there’s two ta’veren! i’m so mad!!!! chewing rocks, as they say!!!!!

and like, you would think that the ENTIRE PURPOSE of mat’s marriage to tuon should be to help with this alliance, but he basically does NOTHING in this scene! sure he convinces tuon to trust rand, but that’s it. during the actual negotiations, he doesn’t say a peep, just sits there chewing his nails because The Girls Are Fightingggg and makes no effort to help rand get tuon to free the damane. we could’ve axed mat and tuon’s marriage entirely and it would not have been difficult to get to this same endgame result.

“‘by the way, i saved moiraine. chew on that as you try to decide which of the two of us is winning.’ mat followed tuon, and behind him rose the laughter of the dragon reborn.” a nice little note to end our cauthor scene on since i think i’ve heard it’s the last one in the whole series 😭 but also a depressing note because mat follows tuon and turns his back on rand! the metaphor of it all! The Tragedy Of Mat!

AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET MY CAUTHOR HUG GODDAMMIT!!!!!!

“‘you are right [that i need sleep], of course. and you needn’t feel surprised to hear me admit it.’ ‘i wasn’t surprised.’ ‘i can feel your emotions, gawyn.’ ‘that was from something else entirely. i remembered something sleete said a few days back, a joke i didn’t understand until now.’ he looked at her innocently. that, finally, earned a smile. a hint of one, but that was enough.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

“asha’man fighting for the enemy. why wouldn’t the dragon reborn have done something?” god i know right jkfjgh

“outside, egwene sighed, closing her eyes. he put his arm around her and let her slump against him. the moment lasted but a few seconds before she pulled back, standing up straight and putting on the face of the amyrlin. so young, he thought, to have so much required of her.” 😭😭😭

“of course, she wasn’t much younger than al’thor himself. gawyn was pleased, and a little surprised, that thinking of the man did not provoke any anger. al’thor would fight his fight. really, what the man did was none of gawyn’s business.” look at gawyn so happy over the progress he’s made in working through the one-sided breakup with his toxic ex who never even knew they were in a relationship djfkjg good for him!

“i begin to think she assumes all seanchan to be darkfriends.” “you beat her and imprisoned her, making her into an animal to be led by a collar.” king gawyn once again being the only man in the series to take damane enslavement and its traumas seriously! 👑👑

gawyn feels wasted on the battlefield since he spends 95% of his time just standing there and not doing anything and acts shifty about the bloodrings and conceals from egwene the fact that he has them. oh no baby boy i sense your As Yet Unknown Crime approaching and i am afraid! but given how staunch i have become in loving gawyn - my original genuine love only being fueled higher by spite since everyone else hates him - his crime will have to be truly incredibly unbelievably heinous to make me dislike him hahaha even if it is i am fully prepared to dismiss it as ooc behavior and not his fault!

exhibit a: “you decided to stand in egwene’s shadow, gawyn, he thought. you decided you would protect her, do what she needed of you. she was winning this war, she and the aes sedai. would he let himself grow as jealous of her as he had been of al’thor?” on the one hand, still mad about gawyn’s sudden issues about being in people’s shadows that never existed prior to TOM being turned into the foundation of his character, and extra mad that all the character development he went through in the last book to overcome those issues - character development that was already unnecessary since those issues were invented purely for that one book - are now doubly unnecessary since he’s just regressed back again. on the other hand, thrilled by him paralleling his feelings for egwene with his feelings for rand, as if rand too was a lover whom gawyn grew jealous of over time djfkgjh

min shows up and says things for the first time (page 353) blech, but at least it’s brief. “light, what would he have done without her? i’d have fallen, he thought. during the dark months...i’d have fallen for certain.” FOOTAGE!!!! NOT!!!!! FOUND!!!!!!!!! you know what actually would’ve happened without min during the dark months, rand? a) you would never have been kidnapped and put in the box, b) you would never have lost your hand, c) you would never have been broken by having to torture and almost kill someone you loved, d) you wouldn’t have had to endure cadsuane’s bullying, e) you wouldn’t have had constant viewings worsening your paranoia and mistrust of others, f) you wouldn’t have had your personal secrets and traumas spilled to people you do not trust, g) you wouldn’t have had an allegedly supportive girlfriend frequently hitting you, threatening you, and working with others behind your back to “handle” you like you were a disobedient child. ETC!!

i say this all the goddamn time but i have to say again HOW FRUSTRATING it is that rand and min bludgeon us over the head with how min was The Only Light In The Darkness and The Only One Who Truly Knew Him and The Only One Who Helped Him Hold On, when there is literally no actual behavior or actions or events in the text to support these claims and in fact min’s presence actively made things worse for rand much of the time. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cadsuane fondly tells min that she’s been reading too much after min recites some stupid low-hanging fruit philosophy (if rand says he’s a fool, then that means he is a fool, but if he says he’s not a fool, that still means he’s a fool since it implies he doesn’t seek further wisdom) and then a page later says about elayne “then she has spoken wisdom at least once in her life. a better average than i had assumed of that one.” fuck you to hell and back along with perrin, cadsuane! elayne is far and away one of the most intelligent characters in the series and i am tired of the other characters undermining her intelligence.

but regarding that line, “rand refused to rise to that comment” and notes that cadsuane is testing him, so at least a) rand is angry to hear her speak badly of elayne and b) cadsuane is mostly just talking shit to annoy him

so far rand has gotten nice goodbye moments with elayne, aviendha, perrin, tam, lan, moiraine, cadsuane, and in a couple chapters egwene. the fact that FUCKING CADSUANE got a proper goodbye moment with rand and MAT did not!!!!!! i’m raging!!!!!!!

lan to mandarb: “we’ll rest soon, my friend. i promise. we’ll make a home. the shadow defeated, nynaeve and i will reclaim malkier. we’ll make the fields bloom again, cleanse the lakes. green pastures. no more trollocs to fight. children to ride on your back, old friend. you can spend your days in peace, eating apples and having your pick of mares.” 😭😭😭😭

“rand al’thor had begun to crack that shell, and then nynaeve’s love had ripped it apart completely. i wonder if rand ever knew, lan thought.” 😭😭😭😭

it’s just so weird that all rand’s relationships are getting such nice tributes paid to them but his relationship with mat, which was his KEY RELATIONSHIP for the first 5 books of the series, is completely brushed off. like i enjoyed their little reunion banter, but it was not nearly sufficient to be the sendoff of one of the series’ most important relationships.

speaking of sendoffs, egwene gets one with the wise ones 😭 “‘i am proud of you, girl,’ amys said. amys, tough-as-nails amys, looked teary-eyed. they rose, and egwene embraced them one a a time. ‘light shelter you, amys, melaine, bair,’ egwene said. ‘give my love to the others.’ ‘it will be done, egwene al’vere,’ bair said. ‘may you find water and shade, now and always.’” 😭😭😭

and egwene also decides not to return to TAR for the moment since it’s increasingly dangerous. “‘and farewell to you, old friend,’ she said to the air. ‘until i dream again.’ she let herself wake.” 😭😭😭

knowing what i do about egwene’s fate, this all hurt me so much!!!

egwene, gawyn, and rand have a scene alone together, perfectly timed to coincide with my third eye being opened to this forbidden polycule jkdfjgh

rand gives egwene a hair ribbon: “you always looked forward so to being able to braid your hair.” 😭😭😭😭

why didn’t mat get a nice little present from rand!!!!!!!!

“‘i just...i didn’t want to go to my fight with our last meeting having been an argument, even if it was an important one.’ ‘oh, rand,’ egwene said. she stepped forward, taking the ribbon. she embraced him.” 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ all of this late-series rand-egwene stuff is gonna hit SOOOO well in the show since their early-series relationship was strengthened so much!

rand tells gawyn that he (rand) is galad’s half-brother!! finally this is shared!!! “egwene had figured this out ages ago” why didn’t you tell gawyn or elayne then jdkfg though maybe i’ll hopefully assume rand has told elayne by now in one of their little battle camp rendezvous.

gawyn is shook and asks about elayne and rand assures him that he and elayne are not related. secretly gawyn was asking because he wanted to know if HE and rand were related and if he would have to feel awkward about his homoerotic obsession with rand djfkg

“half-brother. not that it would probably mean much to a whitecloak.” 💔💔 galad winning the worst brother of the year award once more! and at least this does explain why rand wouldn’t have sought him out to tell him that they’re brothers. “‘i think galad would surprise you,’ gawyn said softly.” is gawyn??? being nice to rand??? oh my heart!!

and we have an uncomfortable and sad scene of mat being poked and prodded at and forced into new clothes that he hates, YET AGAIN. tuon really is just tylin 2.0

“normal life had been harder for mat than for other boys.” the Queer Mat vibes of this line when taken out of context!

“for much of mat’s life, he had wished that people would not look at him so much...now he had it [since the seanchan are all lowering their eyes], and it made him sick.” 💔💔

the one bit of good news from this scene is that mat is in last battle mode and is all business and prepared to whip the seanchan into shape, so that bs of him abandoning the last battle seems to be over now. and i can see narratively why rj would’ve wanted a major protagonist entrenched in the seanchan firmly enough that he can force them to come to the last battle and be their military commander, but there were just so many better ways to execute that.

okay so a MASSIVE army of sharans, whom we’ve heard about in passing like 4 times before this moment and barely even knew existed, just Traveled into the middle of egwene’s camp COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE what in the goddamn hell???? talk about a deus ex machina! this is even worse than guybon and his massive army showing up out of the blue in KOD!

“i am the amyrlin seat, she told herself firmly. i will be strong. i will survive. so long as i live, the white tower stands. she still let gawyn hold her.” 😭😭

“if the end of the aiel was the sacrifice required for rand to win, [aviendha] would make it...better that one people should end than the world fall completely under Shadow.” okay but in the visions the world fell completely under the seanchan which is the SAME DAMN THING

we get another wonderful little avirand scene, hell yeah i wasn’t expecting to get another!!!

“she stepped up to him, and he moved so that he stood just beside her, his shoulder touching hers. he did not drape an arm around her, and she did not take his hand. he did not own her, and she did not own him. the act of his movement so that they faced the same direction meant far more to her than any other gesture could.” I HAVE BEEN STRUCK DEAD BY ROMANCE!!!! SHIT!!!!!!! I’M DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! understated romantic moments between reserved characters are my kryptonite!!!!! also, howling screaming cackling at the STARK contrast between min and her possessiveness and insecurity constantly plastering herself all over rand and trying to show everyone that she owns him LMAO

RAND CALLS AVI “SHADE OF MY HEART” 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

okay okay i’m calm! no i’m not, but i must continue on.

AVI STRAIGHT UP SAYS RAND SHOULD TAKE THE DARK ONE GAI’SHAIN JKJFKGJ THE ICON JUMPED OUT

rand used the dagger ter’angreal on his shayol ghul scouting mission and it successfully prevented the dark one from seeing him, nice! “aviendha, that you should find this and identify it when you did, that elayne should give it to me...the pattern weaves us all where we need to be.” AVIRANDLAYNE PERFECT THROUPLE PERFECT NARRATIVE COMPLEMENTS THERE IS NO NARRATIVE REASON FOR MIN TO BE PART OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

“rand smiled, then added, ‘elayne sounded sad when she gave me the dagger. i think a part of her wanted to keep it because it would let her curse by the dark one’s name without drawing his attention.’” DJFKJG he knows his wife! also, i adore this little moment of rand fondly ribbing elayne to aviendha, just as elayne fondly ribbed aviendha to rand when complaining about how they both snuck up on her. they are all married! MIN is never involved in these moments of other partners being fondly ribbed, because she refuses to acknowledge that rand HAS other partners when she’s with him.

rand tells avi that the shadow has the seals! a small thing but after so many books of rand needlessly keeping information from his own partners elayne and aviendha, i get so happy in this book when he keeps them abreast of what’s going on!

“‘we will find a way to stop this,’ aviendha said, voice firm. he looked to her and smiled. ‘always the warrior.’ ‘of course.’ what else would she be?” ❤️❤️

nynaeve’s been studying callandor, which makes no sense as she has no ability with ter’angreal, but she has nothing to do while elayne and aviendha are busy doing hot girl shit, so that task was punted off to her. nynaeve really was so wasted after WH, or really after ACOS, i feel like her breaking her block was her last truly big solo moment. why isn’t she with egwene blowing up trollocs and helping with healing? she would be so effective there!

lmao of course min was hoping and assuming that rand would take her with him into THE LITERAL DARK ONE’S PRISON WHEN HE GOES THERE TO FIGHT HIM 1V1 good god i cannot with her. aviendha at least had reasonable grounds to hope to go, as she is an extremely capable warrior with both the power and with physical weapons, but what did min think she was gonna do, recite other people’s philosophical ideas at the dark one?

but rand is sending her to egwene’s battlefront and i’m guessing they might not see each other again, in which case min did NOT get a dedicated scene with him like elayne and aviendha did, fuck yeah we love to see it!!

“tomorrow, we invade shayol ghul and claim it as our own! if we must put our head into the lion’s mouth, let us make certain that he chokes upon our flesh!” damn! i was hoping to get to halfway through the book for this recap (currently 50ish pages away from halfway), but this is just too fitting a place to end the post!

one last note for the road: i’ve got to apply this quote to The Tragedy Of Mat. he is being forced to put his head into the lion’s mouth, but someday they WILL choke upon his flesh!

#wot #wot book spoilers #this chapter chunk wasn't even 200 pages lmao how did this post get so long! #especially considering so much of those 200 pages were battle scenes i skipped over with no commentary! #i guess 40% of the post is deep dives into the randlayne and cauthor reunions djfk that's important content!

[wafflesetc]

I am utterly heartbroken. I don’t really know what else to say. Do you all remember Hermoine’s bag that she was able to pull everything out of? That’s what I feel like- a huge bag of a mixture of so many different emotions.  

(This post may be all over the place, so I apologize for that).

On one level, I can only wish the best for Jesse. Truly, as a long time CPD fan- even an Upstead fan... I just hope that with whatever the circumstances were, that on some level, he’s at peace with the decision. Regarding whether or not it was his decision or if he was forced out like Kelli Giddish from SVU, I am not sure. While I have my own thoughts about it, per how JLS has talked about the show and whatnot, I definitely lean one way over the other, but at the end of the day, unless someone comes out and gives us any indication on which way the pendulum swings, we may never get an answer. Which trust me, that not knowing is a hard pill to swallow. It may be one of the hardest, given how much we know JSL enjoyed not only Jay Halstead, but Upstead, Chicago, the cast and crew. 

It feels like a punch to the gut, and it is. I will say this, one news article dropping the bomb at 10:30EST on a Monday night is a little weird. (Not the normal time to drop some kind of important annoucement??) 

It’s not a normal news syndicate time, so they were definitely trying to get the news out there, or at least someone was so we wouldn’t even be blindsided by it. (Even though the irony is we were blindsided.) (I think they were trying to soften the blow... Just get it out there and hope it gets swept under the rug quickly.) I won’t be shocked if we get a new promo with footage within the next few days. 

I’ve had my fair share of fan favorites departing from a series, but I will tell you... There is something about this one that just doesn’t sit right. Which makes me extremely nervous for how they are going to handle his departure. 

I know we are not usually privy to the behind the scenes discussions on contract negotiations. We usually only hear when the show has been renewed for x amount of seasons, and then we usually hear if a character has renewed their contract or if they haven’t. 

I don’t know what the stance of his contract was- was it good through season 10, was it only good through 9 and they were in negotiations and some sort of agreement couldn’t be reached by both parties. 

For the time being, these are the type of details we have to be okay with not knowing.

I know we only see a small glimpse into JLS’s life and who he is- but from what we know from him, from other people, and how he has talked about this show… He is proud. He put his heart, sweat, and blood into playing Jay Halstead. He loves that character. I’ll reiterate that to note that I kept it in the present tense- he loves that character. 

I find a small piece of comfort in that. Regardless of the circumstances which led to his leaving, he loves Jay. He’s proud of the work that he poured into the character… It’s obvious because look at how much of a fan favorite that he is. 

I do think, that somewhere along the line, this was more of an unexpected departure than it was a prepared one. I say that because look at the development they have poured into Jay over the last ten years. 

“One day this unit is going to be yours.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Hailey. Really, I’m not.” 

“Where you go, I go.” 

“I want to start my marriage with the woman that I love out of prison.” 

These type of sentences and quotes are laid out in a show, in a relationship between two main characters, for no reason. I think they/he were planning on a long haul for Jay. I don’t think you can convince me of that otherwise… Especially, as stated above, how Jesse talked bout the the cast, crew, his love for Chicago, etc. I do know things go on BTS that we will never be privy to, but the joy he had surrounding the job wasn’t something that was fake to me. He truly loved this gig. 

What scares me the most is how they might go about his departure. I think it’s going to be one of four ways (@agent-bash had a very similar post about this too):  

He gets a transfer and/or a promotion. Obviously Voight isn’t going anywhere, and after the moral compass debacle that Hailey and Jay were on last year, I could see them using this as a way to put Jay as a Sargeant elsewhere in the CPD. This would allow for Upstead to remain together and have the off screen romance continue. (Also leave the door open for him to return in future episodes..

On the job injury- it’s been alluded to in the past with Mouse back in the early seasons, had a medical discharge from the military. I could see him getting shot to protect Hailey, try to protect another victim, someone and the gunshot injuring him in a capacity that he’d never be able to be fully back in the field. Like Trudy… Which would then allow him to be transferred somewhere else out of Intelligence.

Re-enlistment and/or some sort of military contractor offer. While I don’t necessarily see this as a superbly viable option, given how we know Jay has talked so little about his time in the Army… I could see them opening the door for this to allow him to stay with Hailey and write the off screen romance. I just don’t think his character would be super open to going back to the military, especially as an active duty person, given how he responded to the idea when Mouse wanted to go back to the military. 

Killing him— sadly, this one is up there and I feel like they could swindle this one. This one though, is the one that scares me the most. 

In reference to number 4: Killing Jay would literally ruin not only his character and character development… But it would absolutely destroy Hailey Upton. 

Hailey lost Garrett. She barely got closure for that in 5x18… And it nearly destroyed her. 

Hailey almost lost Jay in 6x02 when he went off to avenge the death of his father. She nearly spiraled when she saw him lying on the ground, covered in blood.

She almost lost Jay again in 7x09/7x10. We saw her distraught in the hospital- and then again in the bullpen when she threw that coffee mug because it was taking a while for the son to come up so they could use him against his father. 

And then she almost lost Jay again with the whole Roy scenario— she was scared he was going to leave her because of a choice that she made. 

“I’ve trusted you since the day I met you.”

“I’d follow you blind.” 

“We’re always going to be good.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Hailey. Really I’m not.” 

“Where you go, I go.” 

“It’s a thing that works between us.” 

They literally have laid such a strong foundation for Jay and Hailey, that they are…. At least to me, integral to one another. 

IF they kill Jay off- I don’t really see how Hailey is going to survive that. I mean… She won’t- will not- survive Jay Halstead’s death. I mean, having to bury him- put him in the ground… I just… No. There is no plausible universe in which (even with JSL departing) killing Jay off would make sense. Especially for her character development.  Jay is integral to keeping Hailey grounded, rooted in normalcy, rooted in a home— he’s changed her. His death would break her in ways that would be irreparable. 

And also- killing him would undo all of the work they laid for his character and development growth over the past ten years. It would make 0 sense. (The hard part about it is that it sadly is usually the easy route to get rid of a character is to kill them off in some form or fashion.) 

Additionally… If they go the divorce route… I just can’t fathom what would actually come between them where it would come to the resolution of them getting divorced. I mean, truly… It would be so OOC for both of them, after the years of pining and the slow burn- it wouldn’t make sense to end them like that. Especially after both of their backgrounds, them taking that step- to be together forever- they both meant it, they both wanted it. They both were in it for the long haul, for forever. 

This is a hard thing to grieve and process. 

On one hand, with whatever the decision was, why it was made, etc... Part of me hopes Jesse is at peace with it. (Or at peace with it the best he can be.)  I truly wish nothing but the best for Jesse, and if this is the best thing for him- then so be it… Conversely, it’s OK to want things for your ship(s) and characters, one you’ve loved so dearly for a long time… Which has been the case of Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton. Ten years for Halstead, half a decade for Upstead. These are long years, where as people you’ve all seen and grown, and gone through things. You’re not just processing the character leaving- you’re processing all that has also happened to you- the friends you’ve made, the memories you have with these characters, the feelings you’ve thrown into this show, etc, that are tied into this show... They are tied into you. You’re grieving all of that, not just the loss of a beloved character. 

So remember, through this, be gentle with yourself. With others. We all grieve and process differently. 

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve or process this information. Take it day by day. 

I don’t know how to end this, because it’s all still so fresh. 

I can only hope that the writers remember the work that they have laid out the past few years, the foundation of which their characters were rooted in, the foundation and stronghold these two characters share together, and honor that in an exit that makes Jay Halstead the good, honorable man that the is. Truly, the ball is in their court with is this, and I hope they do him justice. 

#Upstead #Chicago PD #Jay Halstead #Jesse Lee Soffer #Hailey Upton #Jay x Hailey #One Chicago

[laminy]

I was tagged by @onehelluvamarine. I’ve done this before but I’m too lazy to go see what my answers were so if you’ve already read this before oh well lol.

How many works do you have on AO3?

75!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,178,935

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. I'm breathing in the chemicals (Teen Wolf)

2. and you know you don't have to go (Ted Lasso)

3. Fear and Self-Loathing in Beacon Hills (Teen Wolf)

4. you're the sunflower (Ted Lasso)

5. into the blue and sunny morn' (BoRhap Actor RPF)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

For sure! People took the time to comment and I really appreciate it so I always reply.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics have angsty endings! I’ll do all the angst in the story itself, I’ll make them cry and be angry and break up and whatever but there’s gotta be a happy ending.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

When all the endings are happy, it’s kind of hard to compare, but probably a new life grows. It was the last part of ITBASM so its ending had to some up years of me writing and years of their fictional lives and put them all in a fantastic place.

Do you write crossovers?

I wrote a couple Midsomer Murders x 6 Underground fics.

Have you received hate on a fic?

I’ve gotten some rude anons. I didn’t realize until I was almost done posting ITBASM (the original story) that I didn’t have asks open on here. I imagine I would’ve gotten a lot of hate about one chapter if I had. Back when I was first posting fanfic (like, almost twenty years ago) I found out that people in some private group were making fun of a fic that I’d posted. that was great.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I certainly do. For the longest time, just m/m, and that’s all I’ve ever posted. But for my original novel I’m working on now, it’s my first m/f and it is an experience lol I find it more awkward to write at times but it’s fun too. I’ve had to get used to writing wet a lot. And clit. And cunt. A whole new world!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I find it hard to comprehend writing as a team event.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I genuinely don’t think I could ever pick. There are so many I’ve read over the years. Some I will never touch again, some I will probably still be reading on my death bed lol. Favourite ever??? No way.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wrote a 6 Underground fic with Four and Seven that had a couple parts. I intended it to have another, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Same with the Midsomer Murders x 6 Underground fic (I guess I gave up on Four lol), I still have the exact scene that I want to write in my mind, I picture it, but I doubt it will ever go anywhere. Unless I just write that one scene.

What are your writing strengths?

I love writing dialogue so I hope it’s a strength. Also, way too much research and detail and background stuff that will never make it onto the page, it’s just for me.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Overwriting, and flat description, A couple years ago I took a writing course and I submitted the first chapter of a fic I had written (one name changed lol), and they really hated it and it was really demoralizing. They said it read more like a screenplay instead of a book because there was no emotion, no thought, it was just “he did this and this and this.” I’ve tried improving since then, I hope I have.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have done it! to varying levels of success. I wish I knew Egyptian Arabic so I could have included it more in ITBASM. I only ever include small bits in other languages, and I don’t bother to translate. I assume based on context people can figure it out or check for themselves.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Friends, in the fifth grade. it was handwritten in a notebook, which is possibly still somewhere in my parents’ house, but not with me.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I would still like to finish one of my Gran Turismo fics but I don’t know if that will happen.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

ITBASM as a whole. I know that by the end I was pretty much doing it for me and a handful of other people and I don’t know if it’s as good as it could’ve been but I felt really proud of it and what I did manage to accomplish. It felt more mine than other fics I’ve written.

#i was tagged

[finnritter]

Fingon or Húrin for the ask game?

-@outofangband

Ask Game:

Thank you for the ask @outofangband! Finally getting around to do this. I’ll gladly do both, Fingon is under the cut.

Húrin

one aspect about them i love

This is cheating a bit because it’s not really a character aspect and more like… plot, but. The ending of CoH with him wrecked me on a level not many books have managed. Not going into detail here in case someone reads this who hasn’t finished the book yet, but I’m sure everyone else knows what I’m talking about. Idk why this touched me so deeply (after all the pain the rest of this book was I would expect to be inured to the tragedy) and it’s such a short scene but I was not expecting that ending and the dialogue and then the book is just over and you’re left alone with all the pain and feels for Húrin.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

Nothing really comes to mind here, I don’t think/know enough about him to have an informed opinion on this. But I always, always love posts that define the parallels between Húrin, Huor and their children, and how interconnected they are. Had they never found Gondolin, Húrin’s whole story had not happened. But neither had Tuor’s and in turn, Eärendil’s, which would mess up the whole timeline of Middle Earth. Húrin and Huor (and in turn Túrin and Tuor) are like two sides of the same coin and I love reading takes on this by people who have deeper thoughts about this whole topic than myself.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

This is only gut-feeling, but I’d imagine him as a rather quiet type of person. Not in a brooding kind of way, and he is also not afraid to speak his mind when necessary, but he’s the “few words but silent comfort” kind of quiet. The “smiles and meaningful looks” kind of quiet. The “I’ll go on a hike alone, see you in five hours” kind of quiet. He also likes to be around louder/more easily excited people as well as equally quiet ones – which is why he clicks so well with Morwen. They can spend hours either apart or in the same room but not talking and never feel like they’re losing touch.

one character i love seeing them interact with

This kind of slips into the territory of the next question already, but to be fair, there are not really any characters we see Húrin interact with much, so: Huor and also Fingon. Honestly, Húrin is not a character I have many thoughts about, but I am super intrigued by the posts about Fingon and Húrin’s friendship I see sometimes, and the dynamic with his brother, albeit also not very popular in the fandom, interests me also!

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Morwen! His children!! The people he did not ever get to spend enough time with. This is not necessarily a “I wish they would interact more” and more a “I wish they would get the chance to interact at all after his capture”. I’d love to see how they would work as a family, even though that obviously takes away all the meaning from the story. But on a slightly more realistic note, I would love for him to get the chance to just once talk to his children, the children that he knows so well, whose lives he sees in all of their details, why they never really get to know him. I’d be so interested in what he would say to them, if he could.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

Okay okay okay I just read parts of his wiki page to check something and was reminded that Húrin and Huor were only 16 and 13 when they came to Gondolin??? I had somehow wrongly remembered/assumed that they had been young adults, but THIS CHANGES THINGS. So yeah, give me absolutely overprotective big brother Húrin, please. I mean, they obviously have been raised in a very harsh environment, they knew how to fight before they came to Gondolin and Húrin completely trusts his brother even at that age to stand his ground and make smart choices – in the forest they grew up in. Not in a strange, gigantic city full of elves that are probably all extremely curious about them. Huor, if he is at least half as chill as his son, is probably very happy to be there, explore everything and taste all the good food. Meanwhile Húrin, who has been cast into the role of the lone adult, frantically tries to keep him from wandering off, drills him into saying please and thank you All The Time because he is terrified of accidentally offending a super important elf-lord or something, and meanwhile also tries to stumble through conversations with an actual King (!!!) without embarrassing himself, his House and his whole species. He has a stressful couple of weeks before he finally manages to relax and enjoy his time there a bit more.

Fingon

one aspect about them i love

His presence!! He seems like a person who enters a room and everyone knows he’s there. He’s pretty social, confident and also knows how to carry himself and together with the sort of roguish charm he radiates, he always leaves a strong impression on people. This, obviously, are in-universe personality headcanons, but honestly, the very same thing happens just by reading the book. He doesn’t have an extremely huge role in it but he just manages to break his way into the memory of the readers. This guy just has +100 charisma and is just unhinged enough to be insanely likeable (if a little intimidating sometimes) imo.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

I have the feeling that everyone who analyses him on an even slightly deeper level will say this but: He’s not only a happy-go-lucky guy who wants everyone to be friends. He’s honestly doesn’t seem carefree to me at all (if rather reckless at times), at least not as his main character trait, and especially not in Beleriand. Yes, what I just wrote above is (supposedly) all true, BUT, as I said, that’s mostly charisma. He seems more impulsive and at the same time very persistent to me, which seems to drive almost all of his big decisions, rather than him being a cheerful foil to Maedhros’ gloom. He’s probably easy to like (as a leader, king and acquaintance alike), but surprisingly hard to be close friends with.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

Very random, but he loves flying. Which is a shame because elves don’t actually get to fly a lot and it’s not like you can just catch one of the great eagles and make them your pet. If you could, Fingon would have been the first one to do it. After Thangorodrim, when they were flying and Fingon could take off 1% of his attention off making sure Maedhros doesn’t die for the first time, he fell in love with the feeling instantly and was honestly a little bit sad that he never got to do it again under less stressful circumstances. He dreams about it a lot, though.

one character i love seeing them interact with

I know this is the boring answer, but Maedhros. I don’t actively read much about them, but even then, they are present in a lot of fanwork and their dynamic is usually super powerful, no matter if they’re a couple or not. I love the thought that they chose each other as best friends in childhood/youth and always felt like they had such an “against all odds”-relationship because of their family and because they were so different in a lot of things. And then everything up to Angband happened and, well, all of that seemed so simple in retrospect. I love that they’re both a little fucked up but in a way that works for each other. I can absolutely see them not getting along and being furious with each other at times, I can also imagine that there was still always a bit of unspoken baggage between them that they just didn’t want to deal with. But no matter what, they always relied on each other, always trusted the other to be there when it was important. (And now I’m sad about the Nirnaeth again.)

Also, honorary mention: Maglor. Just because I love it when they don’t actually like each other a lot/never really got close again after Maedhros’ rescue, but still have an unspoken agreement to make sure that Maedhros is safe and also that, if it comes to it, at least one of them should probably make sure to stay alive because Maedhros would be lonely otherwise. It’s the peak dynamic for the two of them, honestly.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Angrod and Aegnor. Their friendship is pretty underrated if you ask me, and I would love to know more about what the dynamic was like back in Aman – and then all the Helcaraxe angst later. I do think that Angrod and Aegnor forgave him after a while, but also that they never quite got as close as before. Still, the Bragollach was basically a triple gut punch for Fingon, who was basically on his own afterwards, except for the Feanorians. There are so many interesting stages of their friendship and their feelings towards each other, and I always love seeing this depicted!

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

While Fingon had always been close to his father, the Helcaraxe made them almost inseparable for a while. Fingon really grew to be Fingolfin’s right hand man on there, supporting him in his leadership but also trying to take as much load as possible off his shoulders. He felt like he was one of the few ones who could really grasp what Feanor’s betrayal meant to his father (because he felt almost exactly the same way about Maedhros) and the depth of how it had hurt him.

He also purposefully tried to throw himself into as much work and exertion as possible because it was a good way for him to keep moving and not be weighed down too much by his decisions and the doom resting on all of them.

This dynamic loosened a bit after the Ice, but he remained one of the closest advisors and confidants of Fingolfin up until his death.

#honestly this made me want to research Húrin a bit more #new character obsession incoming #thank you so much for the ask sorry it took me a while! #silmarillion #hurin #huor #morwen #fingon #maedhros #fingolfin #ask game #asks #answered

[groggydog]

The Familiar: Post-Mortem for a Crow

(originally posted here, on the IntFic forums)

Hi all. I wasn’t originally going to do this, but I got an itch and just wanted to have a final send-off for my beloved bird, Fran, and the world of Gennemont.

The Familiar was always intended to be an emotional piece, first and foremost. To that end, I believe that I was successful. But I have plenty of other thoughts about the game’s core pieces.

On Mechanics

From the start, I decided that I would take a more rudimentary approach to the puzzles with the full knowledge that it would almost certainly appeal less to the more experienced members of the IF community. That was fine by me. I wanted to share this with my parents, my nephews, my friends - none of whom actively play IF games. And I think I threaded things well enough that people were satisfied even if they viewed the puzzles as very easy.

Perhaps the best advice I received in terms of puzzle-making was when I was stuck on the final ingredient puzzle, and someone from the interact-if Discord recommended I follow the old Aesop fable about the crow and the stone, and it felt like such a duh moment to me that I just had to include it in my game.

(More on art and characters after the jump)

For the rest, I tried to have either multiple solutions to everything or enough interactivity (like with the letter-writing sequence which I think was really well-received) that it didn’t matter so much.

I believe that limiting the vocabulary to just a few words (TAKE, DROP, CAW, LOOK, PECK) was absolutely the correct path, even if it ended up limiting me in many very real ways. I think most of the critical feedback stemmed from that decision and the puzzles. There was always going to be a low upper limit on my puzzles’ complexity after I did that, but I think it’s just silly enough that it works overall. If I were a better coder, I might have done it in a more interesting way. But I’m not, and so I’ll take what I can get.

My code is a mess. It will never see the light of day. But if you have questions just DM me!

On Art

I spent so much time on that dang art, y’all. I needed six months to knock out 30+ pixel-art headers and even then it felt like a stretch. But again, this was important to me: I knew that pixel art would both play into Adventuron’s nature and heighten the emotional nature of the story. To that end, again, I think I was successful.

For all of you had said it felt like a Ghibli story - I could not have received higher praise. The background details of the story were certainly inspired by Ghibli, but much of the art was as well. I referenced heavily scenes from Howl’s Moving Castle and one my personal favorites, Kiki’s Delivery Service, to capture a specific tone and mood.

I used a combination of MS Paint and Aesprite to make my scenes. Aesprite was particularly useful for scenes where I needed to reference perspective lines and could change the opacity of layers. I would highly recommend purchasing it if you’re hoping to do something similar. Some things I cheesed, like using the “thought bubble” tool in MS Paint (translated, flipped, skewed) to make trees and blood/attack effects throughout the game. Adventuron also worked really well for this. I just made the images at 192x64px and the game engine happily scaled things up for me with no interpolation needed.

The piece I’m most proud of, however, is the owl. This thing took me at least a dozen hours of hard work. I know it’s silly to ramble on about art on an IF forum, but I do think these things elevated my game a lot.

There are some art pieces that I wish I could have had more time with: the Opera House in particular was challenging to me. But overall, I was quite pleased with the final portfolio for this game.

On Characters & Story

I am extraordinarily competitive by nature, and so of course a large part of me was hoping I might still squeak into Best of Show even as it became evident just how good my competition was.

But now, after all the ribbons have been awarded, what I feel is mostly just happiness that the stories and characters seemed to connect with people. Most of the praise for my game had to do with either the art or the characters, and it warms my heart to no small degree to hear that. I wanted everyone you interacted with in Gennemont (except, perhaps, the dapper man) to feel like they had a real depth to them. I think I managed to do that.

Again, drawing inspiration from Ghibli, I wanted to inspire both a little bit of sadness and a little bit of happiness throughout the game. There were the really silly bits like helping Cecile write her letter (which came to me as a random thought and I coded in a frenzy immediately), but I also think the direness of Fran and even Hazel the Dormouse’s situations came through without being overbearing.

I was also pleased that I seemed to have dialed in the intensity appropriately. You cannot lose the final encounter with Hunleff, of course, but I think it’s just scary enough that the thought enters your mind.

Especially [here] on Tumblr, Fran seems to have struck a chord. She’s plucky and brash in a way I never could be, and she just sort of sprung to life all on her own. It’s rare and so enjoyable to have a protagonist - especially in an IF game! - who does that. I have a new love and appreciation for crows as a result of researching for her. I also had a great time coding in things like the nearly three dozen types of CAW responses you could get. When the ribbons came in, I was tempted to just choose the “Sweetest Bird” one and be done with it. Fran made this game what it is.

The emotional heart of this story was always going to be Fran and her adventure, and despite the game’s other shortcomings I feel intensely proud with what I accomplished on that front. It’s hard to do it in a parser game, and I learned a lot in pursuit of that goal.

#interactive fiction #interactive fiction game #parser #interact if #game development #adventuron #the familiar

[bearwithmeshifting]

I’ve always been fascinated by the topic of p-shifting, but really unsure of reliable resources. I’m not exactly in the therian or otherkin scene, do you have any resources I can look into?

Yeah P-shifting tends to be a very dubious concept, especially when you’re used to one set of terms and attempting to see if another group is describing something similar with different terms. I’d personally suggest that you avoid finding truth as part of the enjoyment with the topic of shapeshifting, assuming you aren’t a shifter. The various claimed experiences of shapeshifting are interesting enough on their own, and maybe its best to consider it folklore. When it comes to recorded resources on physical shifting, I only know of one that is probably truthful, and its about the social structure of Selkies around Orkney (I think, I may be misremembering the region). The document was written to be seen in private among a few, and I may add it to this post should its author deem it alright. (Edit: check reblogs, its there.)

Here are a few hints at what to consider untrue when investigating the veracity of shapeshifting claims, if only because I know that what I said probably won’t discourage you from attempting to find truth anyways.

Who wrote the source? Witnesses may be mistaken, authorities may be motivated, and self reported claims are uncommon.

Is the shapeshifting process described? Is something is explained in a way without a way to materially verify it? (For example, claiming that shapeshifters are ACTUALLY just people who dream themselves into a new form at night, or that a secret new hormone that’s undetectable to all medicine is responsible.) If so, its likely to be misinformed to some degree, and may be false.

Is the ability to shapeshift contagious? If so, it’s highly likely that the source was written with conceptions of shapeshifting after the werewolf monster became popular in pop culture. A common pattern in older sources was that shapeshifters just were shapeshifters, perhaps by curse/blessing or birth, but without spread.

Does a person claim to have made themself into a shapeshifter? The processes that would make this possible are ahead of science by possible centuries, and the magical ability to do so is dubious. Doubly so if the source was written to inspire others the “become shapeshifters” by their guide, and triply so if the price of the source is in the triple digits.

This one is obvious, but if there are generally any notable features that were only brought up in fiction prior to its sourcing, its likely untrue.

Should you find yourself changing into a beast, the secret cheat code is to find sources that detail things similar to what you experience, and read about other topics written by the same individual. Should they say something that goes against all reason, then you can discard them on the truthfulness. Otherwise, info of maybe truth is helpful backside knowledge to reference when investigating similar subjects.

This is a nonexhaustive rough guide to tell if a shapeshifting source isn’t based in reality. This isn’t to say that those sources are less valuable when physical shapeshifting is out of the picture. Werewolves who couldn’t shapeshift were sometimes “just” murderers, their humanity being taken away by systems of power to help make their executions more moral. People who would dream of being wolves in the night to help fight back demons are a wonderful story of harmless metamorphosis and devotion to one’s community. When the truth of shapeshifting is less of a concern, it can make the enjoyment of the concept easier.

If you wish to find resources on what it means to be a physical shifter, most of the people who claim to be physical shifters tend to vary on specifics. The only uniting factor is that we’re people who claim to physically shift. If you aren’t a physical shifter yourself it’s difficult to discern who can shapeshift or not, especially only online. I’ve written some about my experiences, but you should really check out all the blogs who have posted in the physical shifting tag to contrast and compare. Offsite I can’t easily recommend anything else.

#nonhuman community #therian #physical shifting #p shifting #pshifting #shapeshifter #otherkin #yes I’m vagueposting about Morphersiam towards the end of the bullets

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

✨ 💫 🎀 💞 💌 please!

Hello anon! Do anons get notifications when their asks are answered? I hope so!

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Oh this is a tricky one! If I’m honest, I’ll always have a soft spot for The Supreme Art of War is to Subdue the Enemy Without Fighting—despite it’s unwieldy title. It was one of the first PatPran stories I started writing though certainly not the first that I posted! It was a slow write because I had to keep pausing for research. 

Before I started writing this fic, I had very little knowledge of Thailand’s history, so I found it fascinating to uncover. When I’d originally planned a historical AU, my first thought had been to do something a little more recent, such as World War 2, but once I’d started reading about the Reunification of Siam, the more fitting it felt for PatPran.

One of my more recent fics that I was hoping would draw a bit more attention was Dumbasses and Dragons. I love a bit of high fantasy and I was hoping PatPran dragonriders would intrigue a few others too, but alas I clearly did not make it sound enticing enough.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I love to read specific parts that people enjoyed from a fic. It’s always fun to see what a particular line/scene has made an impression on a few people but also, people so often pick out completely different parts. It’s amazing to see people having such a personal connection to something you’ve written.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Ahhhh the hardest one. As a writer, I’m so used to focusing on the things I want to edit and improve on in my writing that I struggle a lot when it comes to thinking about what’s good in it. I think I have a strong attention to detail in my writing, and that I do well at getting characterisation across. I also like to think that dialogue is one of my strong points. Often when I’m writing a scene all it starts out as is dialogue and everything else gets filled in after haha.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters are always my starting point. Probably why I struggle so much with original fiction haha. All my writing is based around characters and their reactions to the base situation they’re in, so if I don’t have a strong character profile in my head, writing is almost impossible for me. That being said, I do love to have a strong structure too. It’s not always true of all my stories, but I do like when I can write a story with a particular structural symmetry.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

So I do have some fun angst coming up as a follow-up to one of the Bad Buddy Fic Exchange stories I wrote but actually I stumbled across something else the other day that I’d completely forgotten about. So a long time ago, I wrote a Bad Buddy story called A Nose Boop and the Rest is History, which is basically a short tale of Pran’s astonishing self-discipline being finally eroded away by Pat’s oblivious flirting.

Flash forward to today and I currently have two WIPs all planned out and ready to be written that follow basically along the same lines, but in different situations and with different outcomes (though all the same eventual outcome because you kno, this is PatPran after all). My eventual plan is to have all of these as part of a What If series of all the times Pran could have given into his feelings and how that would have shift their story.

Thank you for the questions!

These asks were from this post here, in case anyone reading wants to join in and reblog yourself!

#lovely asks #writing

[suratan-zir]

Hi, how are you doing?

I read that there were explosions in Donetsk, I really hope that you are all right. I'm on Tumblr for the first time since the war started and I am very sorry that you, your city and your country have to go through this hell. Especially remembering that Donetsk has been occupied by Russia for the longest time and this is a crime for which no one was punished.

And as a Russian it hurts me a lot to see that even here there are brainwashed people from Russia who write terrible things to you. I'm very sorry. This “sorry” can't stop the war and I don’t want it to look like “look, I’m a good Russian”, but I just want to wish you peace, a calm sky and the victory of Ukraine.

P.S

Your rats are awesome. It's ingenious to call a rat KaMYSH'!!

Hey. This fall, a couple of months before the invasion started, I moved from Donetsk to central Ukraine, so I'm alright. My parents, however, are still there, they moved from a smaller town in Donetsk oblast to my apartment in Donetsk city right after I left.

It wasn't just "explosions," it still happens every day, even now, while I'm typing this reply, my parents listen to the sounds of artillery fire. They can't escape, men under 55 aren't allowed to leave, and my mother won't go anywhere without my father.

I don't even know how to write about it, although there's so much I want to say. Russian terrorists do what they do best - intimidate, kill and destroy, falsely accuse the Ukrainian army of their own crimes, then use it to their advantage. And if earlier, prior to the invasion, it was clear why they were doing it (to create a casus belli), now it is more confusing. But after yesterday's speech by Pushilin (p*tin's puppet in Donetsk) it starts to clear up a little. He asked for more "additional help" from Russia, which may indicate a later conscription of more russian cannon fodder (or even invasion by the Belarusian army as well), but everything is so unclear and terrifying. I'm afraid to make any predictions.

In 2014, many Donetsk residents believed russian propaganda due to being inexperienced in war, as, you know, most people normally are. When Russians and collaborators shelled residential areas of Donetsk and blamed it on the Ukrainian army, unfortunately, some people believed them. But now it is different, now almost no one believes them, except for complete zombies. People can clearly hear the missile launch and a following explosion a couple of seconds after, which would be impossible if it was fired from the positions of the Ukrainian forces because they are too far away. It's crazy to even have to explain these details, because for Ukraine there is absolutely no benefit from these attacks and Ukraine doesn't seek to kill its own citizens.

The occupiers are doing everything so clumsily and tactlessly, this propaganda is aimed more at people who live in russia, not in Donetsk. In Ukraine, if an object is under fire, it is forbidden to upload photos and videos from the scene immediately after, so as not to direct or correct enemy fire. Simple safety rules in wartime. But in Donetsk, Russian TV cameras and bloggers appear at the scene of the shelling in a matter of seconds, instantly posting countless videos from the scene, showing exact locations. Russians aren't afraid to reveal the location of the explosions, because they are the ones who fired the shots. They shoot close-ups of the corpses, children corpses... Russian propaganda loves dead children. Disgusting pieces of shit, "mourning" and "condemning" their own crimes.

On June 9 they shelled Kalininsky district where I used to live, down the street from my apartment, from my parents. Near the church my mother goes to regularly. When my husband and I lived there, we often passed by this place when we went for a walk to the arboretum. Literally the day before, I persuaded my mother to go for a walk in that arboretum. Good thing she was too scared to leave the house. One woman died on the spot. This could have been my mother.

After this shelling, mother wrote to me, "I saw a mortar drove along Ilyicha Avenue half an hour ago, and I thought that they were going to shell us soon. So I was right."

It's all so wild and surreal. I'm about to say something that might be inappropriate but... Lately, I'm very glad that I haven't made any friends in my 26 years. That I don't keep in touch with classmates from all 3 of my former schools and university. That I don't even remember the names of many of them. This way, if someone I once interacted with gets hurt, I won't know about it. If anyone of my classmates was forcibly conscripted by russian terrorists and became cannon fodder for p*tin, I won't know. If I had any friends left in Donetsk, or if I had been closer to my parents, I would have gone crazy by now. But I had only one close person in Donetsk, with whom I cut off all communication a year ago. I tried to leave the city as if I had never been there. It helps a little, but not much.

What they're doing to my city and my country... I knew it was going to happen, but I still wasn't ready.

-----------------------------------------------

About rats To those of my followers who doesn't speak Ukrainian nor Russian and are confused about the "KaMYSH" part. Kamysh means "bulrush" or "reed', but the "mysh" part also means "mouse." I wanted something to go with "Bambook" name, because Kamysh was initially supposed to be a companion to Bambook (the sweet boy from my profile pic, he passed away this spring and I still mourn his death every fucking day...) Kamysh is mostly a formal name, I call him Mysh / Kamyshka / McMiffin and a thousand other stupid nicknames, he doesn't mind.

----------------------------------------------

#ask #personal